Cereal 3 - Back to the Revengening

by Kragor

Rating: mature
Tags: Random, Human, Alternate Universe
Length: 2490

Twilight and princess Celestia were playing video games one day, when suddenly...

Twilight and princess Celestia were playing video games one day, when suddenly…

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-07-04 22:43:29 UTC

Twilight Sparkle becomes a lesbian Travis Touchdown

Disclaimer: What you are about to read is canon

-Part 1-

-The beginning of the end-

---place:?---

---time:?---

---Perspective: first person---

Something was asleep, in a deep sleep, somewhere nopony alive has ever been.

Probably pony hell or something.

"Hey, are you alive?" A mysterious voice asked me.

I slowly opened my eyes, my vision was blurry, so I couldn't really see much.

"Uhh, yeah, I'm alive, at least I think." I said.

"Alright, good to know, get up." Mysterious voice said.

My vision finally cleared up, and in front of me was a thing.

A thing that was pretty tall, it was wearing black robes, standing on two legs, and it's body was completely skeletal.

I also appeared to be in a cave with a lot of fire and apartment buildings.

"What." I said.

"Yo, I'm Death or some shit, Kragor hired me for the story because there was supposed to be cake, but APPARENTLY, I have to work for cake." Death said.

"Stop complaining bitch." An ominous and sexy voice said from nowhere.

"Fuck you too, breaking the fourth wall is one of the most overused tropes in fanfiction these days." Death said.

"I love you Kragor and I want to make sweet love to your hot body." Death actually said.

"Did you just do that?" Death said.

"Yup." Voice said.

"Anyway, kid, there's something you should know." Death said.

"Did you just ignore me?"

"Uhh... what?" I said.

"You're dead." Death said.

"Okay, fine I'll just go then."

What the fuck?! How am I dead? There's no way I'm dead!

No, Wait.

I think I did die.

Do you want revenge?

Revenge?

I was killed?

Yes, do you want to know who killed you?

Sure.

Alright then.

Then I saw it, how I died.

And I want revenge.

Then let me in.

I will help you get your revenge.

You will?

Yes, you have my word.

All you have to tell me, is your name, say it.

"Yo, are you alright?" Death said.

"Perfectly fine." I said.

"Alright, here's your apartment key, everything here is pretty much the same as real life, except everything is on fire."

Death tossed a key to me, and I took it.

"My name is Spike."

"Huh? oh shit she better not be at it again!"

dark smoke suddenly surrounded me, I couldn't see anything, and suddenly it started entering my body.

I felt my body changing, growing larger, growing wings that probably look pretty cool as well, my scales changed to a black color, and my spines probably turned red, ya know, like BLOOOOOOOOOD.

I felt like doing some nasty shit too.

I took out my MP3 player, put the earbuds in my ears, and put on my favorite song.

I spread my wings and took off, flying towards a nearby hole in the ceiling of the cave I was in.

"Aw fuck, not again." Death said while looking at a piece of paper, presumably a script.

I flew up, towards the light.

"TWILIGHT, I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!!" I yelled really loud like a bear.

---location:Ponyville---

---time:Noon-ish---

---perspective:second person (I think)---

Musik

Twilight and Princess Celestia where at Twilight's Tree-House-Brary-Thing playing some glorious Video Games, more specifically Super Smash Bros. Kerfuffle.

Twilight mained the sexy Blue Bomber, Megaman, while Celestia always seemed to choose the Villager from Animal Crossing.

Anyway Celestia just kicked Twilight's ass.

"Yo that shit be easy yo, you need to get better Twi-Dog" Celestia said.

"Fuck you, you sexy piece of ass." Twilight said.

"You wanna fuck?" Celestia asked.

"Sure." Twilight responded.

So then they started having hot lesbian pony sex, which I will not describe for the sake of the children.

Butt fuck that.

*Rumble Rumble sound effects*

A giant hole opened up just outside, and some big edgy looking black and red dragon came out.

"TWILIGHT, GET THE FUCK OUT HERE." Edgy said.

"No way, I'm having sex!" Twilight responded.

"FUCK YOU!" Edgy the dragon said.

"FUCK YOU!" Twilight retorted.

"FUCK YOU!" Donte the Dragon replied.

"FACH YOUUUUUU!" Twilight responded.

"FUCK YOU!" Edgy said.

Twilight was getting pretty pissed now.

"Alright Celestia I gotta kill this bitch or something, be right back."

"K." Celestia said back.

"I'll be right out fucker!" Twilight said to Edgy.

"Alright!" Edgy said.

Twilight went to the bathroom, and took a dump, then she put on some ca$h jeans, an anime T-shirt, and unzipped red jacket, then she opened up her closet and grabbed her awesome beam katana, which she twirled around a bit and put on her belt, finally she walked up to one of her Animu posters and said,

"Moe~"

She was ready now, she went outside to face this fucker.

LESS FITE

The door to Twilight's tree house library slammed open, and out came Twilight Sparkle, looking hella mad.

"Let's dance fucker." Twilight said.

"That was a pretty long wait, what the fuck where you doing?" Spike replied.

"Looking for my Beam Katana n' shit." Twilight said back.

"Well, let's fucking fight then!"

-

Fite Musik

-

Edgy Spike started the fight by dashing towards Twilight and swinging a claw, which was quickly dodged by jumping over it.

Twilight then activated her Beam Katana, a purple blade of energy came from the hilt, and Twilight quickly replied to the previous attack by cutting Spike's right arm off, causing a wonderfully bloody mess, as well as a lot of screaming coming from Spike, then the Unicorn cut off Spike's head, ending his life quick as piss, as well as causing moar blood to go fucking EVERYWHERE.

"Too easy." Twilight said.

Then, a dark cloud came from Spike's body, and said cloud began manifesting it's own body, taking the shape of...

"I, NIGHTMARE MOON, HAVE RETURNED, MUAHAHAHAHA-" *Swing* *Slosh*

Before some bullshit final boss could even begin, Twilight used her Katana to slice Nightmare Moon in two, once again, causing a lit off blood to go everywhere, guts too this time I guess, since this bitch was sliced in two.

"I don't need some stupid final boss, I just want to play vidya, watch anime, and have sex with Princess Celestia, if I have to have an anticlimactic fight for that, then so be it, I really don't want your shit right now." Twilight said.

Twilight then went back inside to presumably play tons of video games, watch tons of anime, and have tons of sex with Princess Celestia.

Oh, and she probably ate a bunch of cereal too.

DEE ENDH?

NOP.

The Revengening (Real Ending)

"I, NIGHTMARE MOON, HAVE RETURNED, MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"OH SHIT" Twilight yelled.

Suddenly, Nightmare began changing, transforming, "Twilight Sparkle, Nightmare Moon has a surprise for you!" evil moonbutt said.

"NANI?!" Twilight said.

"I WAS DIO BRANDO ALL ALONG!" Nightmare said. The transformation ended, and now where Nightmare once stood, was Dio!

"WELL GUESS WHAT BITCH!" Twilight said.

Suddenly! Twilight Sparkle stratred transorming too!

"I WAS ALSO A JOJO'S BIZARRE ADVENTURE CHARACTER!" Twilight yelled!

The transformation ended, and now Twilight was Rudolf von Stroheim!

"I'M A FUCKING CYBORG NAZI!" Stroheim said!

"ABAJ!" Dio said!

So then Nightmare yelled "ZA WARUDO" and the n she killed Stroheim and got her revenge.

Then Celestia got pissed and turned into Johnathan Joestar and she fought dIO but she was no match and she later died in life due to brain cancer.

So then Dio mood ruled the world and did horrible things..

THE END.

REVENGE.

JUSTICE IS SERVED.

WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DUWANG.

Gangsta Happenings

-Part 1-

-Da beginnin of tha end-

---place:?---

---time:?---

---Perspective: first person---

Somethang was asleep, up in a thugged-out deep chill, somewhere nopony kickin it has eva been.

Probably pony hell or something.

"Yo, is you kickin it?" A mysterious voice axed mah dirty ass.

I slowly opened mah eyes, mah vision was blurry, so I couldn't straight-up peep much.

"Uhh, yeah, I be kickin it, at least I think." I holla'd.

"Alright, phat ta know, git up." Mysterious voice holla'd.

My fuckin vision finally cleared up, n' up in front of me was a thang.

A thang dat was pretty tall, dat shiznit was bustin black robes, standin on two legs, n' itz body was straight-up skeletal.

I also rocked up ta be up in a cold-ass lil cave wit a shitload of fire n' crib buildings.

"What." I holla'd.

"Yo, I be Dirtnap or some shit, Kragor hired mah crazy ass fo' tha rap cuz there was supposed ta be cake yo, but APPARENTLY, I gotta work fo' cake." Dirtnap holla'd.

"Quit complainin biiiatch." An ominous n' dirty voice holla'd from nowhere.

"Fuck you too, breakin tha fourth wall is one of da most thugged-out overused tropes up in fanfiction these days." Dirtnap holla'd.

"I gots a straight-up boner fo' you Kragor n' I wanna make dope ludd ta yo' bangin' body." Dirtnap straight-up holla'd.

"Did yo dirty ass just do that?" Dirtnap holla'd.

"Yup." Voice holla'd.

"Anyway, kid, there be a suttin' you should know." Dirtnap holla'd.

"Did yo dirty ass just ignore me?"

"Uhh... what?" I holla'd.

"Yo ass is dead as fuckin fried chicken." Dirtnap holla'd.

"Okay, fine I be bout ta just go then."

What tha fuck?! How tha fuck is I dead, biatch? Therez no way I be dead!

Fuck dat shit, Wait.

I be thinkin I did take a thugged-out dirt nap.

Do you want revenge?

Revenge?

I was capped?

Yes, do you wanna know whoz ass capped yo slick ass?

Sure.

Alright then.

Then I saw it, how tha fuck I died.

And I want revenge.

Then let me in.

I'ma help you git yo' revenge.

Yo ass will?

Yes, you have mah word.

All you gotta tell me, is yo' name, say dat shit.

"Yo, is you aiiiight?" Dirtnap holla'd.

"Perfectly fine." I holla'd.

"Alright, herez yo' crib key, every last muthafuckin thang here is pretty much tha same as real game, except every last muthafuckin thang is on fire."

Death tossed a key ta me, n' I took dat shit.

"Hoes call me Spike."

"Huh, biatch? oh shiznit da hoe mo' betta not be at it again!"

dark smoke suddenly surrounded me, I couldn't peep anything, n' suddenly it started enterin mah body.

I felt mah body changing, growin larger, growin wings dat probably look pretty def as well, mah scalez chizzled ta a funky-ass black color, n' mah spines probably turned red, ya know, like BLOOOOOOOOOD.

I felt like bustin some nasty shiznit like a muthafucka.

I took up mah MP3 playa, put tha earbudz up in mah ears, n' put on my straight-up song.

I spread mah wings n' took off, flyin towardz a nearby hole up in tha ceilin of tha cave I was in.

"Aw fuck, not again." Dirtnap holla'd while lookin at a piece of paper, presumably a script.

I flew up, towardz tha light.

"TWILIGHT, I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!!" I yelled straight-up bangin like a funky-ass bear.

---location:Ponyville---

---time:Noon-ish---

---perspective:second thug (I think)---

Musik

Twilight n' Supa-Hoe Celestia where at Twilightz Tree-House-Brary-Thin playin some glorious Video Games, mo' specifically Supa Smash Bros. Kerfuffle.

Twilight mained tha dirty Blue Bomber, Megaman, while Celestia always seemed ta chizzle tha Villager from Animal Crossing.

Anyway Celestia just kicked Twilightz ass.

"Yo dat shiznit be easy as fuck  yo, you need ta git mo' betta Twi-Dog" Celestia holla'd.

"Fuck you, you dirty piece of ass." Twilight holla'd.

"Yo ass wanna fuck?" Celestia asked.

"Sure." Twilight responded.

So then they started havin bangin' lesbian pony sex, which I'ma not describe fo' tha sake of tha lil' thugs.

Butt fuck dis shit.

*Rumble Rumble sound effects*

A giant hole opened up just outside, n' some big-ass edgy lookin black n' red dragon came out.

"TWILIGHT, GET THE FUCK OUT HERE." Edgy holla'd.

"No way, I be bustin a nut!" Twilight responded.

"FUCK YOU!" Edgy tha dragon holla'd.

"FUCK YOU!" Twilight retorted.

"FUCK YOU!" Donte tha Dragon replied.

"FACH YOUUUUUU!" Twilight responded.

"FUCK YOU!" Edgy holla'd.

Twilight was gettin pretty pissed now, nahmeean?

"Alright Celestia I gotta bust a cap up in dis biiiatch or something, be right back."

"K." Celestia holla'd back.

"I be bout ta be right up fucker!" Twilight holla'd ta Edgy.

"Alright!" Edgy holla'd.

Twilight went ta tha bathroom, n' took a thugged-out dump, then she put on some ca$h jeans, a anime T-shirt, n' unzipped red jacket, then she opened up her closet n' grabbed her phat beam katana, which dat dunkadelic hoe twirled round a lil' bit n' put on her belt, finally dat biiiiatch strutted up ta one of her Animu postas n' holla'd,

"Moe~"

Bitch was locked n loaded now, dat biiiiatch went outside ta grill dis fucker.

LESS FITE

Da door ta Twilightz tree doggy den library slammed open, n' up came Twilight Sparkle, lookin hella mad.

"Letz dizzle fucker." Twilight holla'd.

"That was a pimpin' long wait, what tha fuck tha fuck where you bustin?" Spike replied.

"Lookin fo' mah Beam Katana n' shit." Twilight holla'd back.

"Well, letz fuckin fight then!"

-

Fite Musik

-

Edgy Spike started tha fight by dashin towardz Twilight n' swingin a cold-ass lil claw, which was quickly dodged by jumpin over dat shit.

Twilight then activated her Beam Katana, a purple blade of juice came from tha hilt, n' Twilight quickly replied ta tha previous battle by cuttin Spikez right arm off, causin a wonderfully bloody mess, as well as a shitload of beatboxin comin from Spike, then tha Unicorn cut off Spikez head, endin his wild lil' freakadelic game quick as piss, as well as causin moar blood ta go fuckin EVERYWHERE.

"Too easy as fuck ." Twilight holla'd.

Then, a thugged-out dark cloud came from Spikez body, n' holla'd cloud fuckin started manifestin itz own body, takin tha shape of...

"I, NIGHTMARE MOON, HAVE RETURNED, MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"OH SHIT" Twilight yelled.

Suddenly, Nightmare fuckin started changing, transforming, "Twilight Sparkle, Nightmare Moon has a surprise fo' you, nahmean biiiatch?" evil moonbutt holla'd.

"NANI?!" Twilight holla'd.

"I WAS DIO BRANDO ALL ALONG!" Nightmare holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Da transformation ended, n' now where Nightmare once stood, was Dio!

"WELL GUESS WHAT BIZZNITCH!" Twilight holla'd.

Suddenly dawwwwg! Twilight Sparkle stratred transormin too!

"I WAS ALSO A JOJO'S BIZARRE ADVENTURE CHARACTER!" Twilight yelled!

Da transformation ended, n' now Twilight was Rudolf von Stroheim!

"I'M A FUCKING CYBORG NAZI!" Stroheim holla'd!

"ABAJ!" Dio holla'd!

So then Nightmare yelled "ZA WARUDO" n' tha n she capped Stroheim n' gots her revenge.

Then Celestia gots pissed n' turned tha fuck into Johnathan Joestar n' she fought dIO but dat biiiiatch was no match n' she later took a dirt nap up in tha game cuz of dome cancer.

So then Dio vibe ruled tha ghetto n' did wack thangs..

THE END.

REVENGE.

JUSTICE IS SERVED.

WHAT A SWAG DUWANG.