"Yes ma'am! I'm going to bed soon!", Lawrence shouted from his room.
"Well, it's about time! You have to get up earlier for the dentist appointment!", his mother shouted back up to his room. They weren't shouting out of anger, only out of long distance from downstairs to upstairs.
"No need in waking me! I'll be up and ready when you are!", and with that, the light downstairs went out.
"Okay, where was I? Ah yes," he squinted back at the computer screen.
"I'ma love and tolerate you to death!"
He was currently looking up pony related memes. He hadn't been a brony for too long, only about a month now. He made it his goal to know everything there was to know about Equestria, the pony ways, and the four -very strange- corners of the brony community.
"That's kinda funny!", at that moment, he actually noticed the time. "Woah! It really has gotten late! Maybe I should start making my way to be-", and with that, his face abruptly made contact with his keyboard.
"Oh, hey...I'm glad to see you're okay!", the voice almost shocked him fully awake. He didn't know why, but it seemed familiar.
"I swear to you mom, you didn't see a picture of a pony on my monitor! What the?!", he was speechless.
He then lost all drowsiness and stared in utter shock at the lavender face currently staring back. He slowly brought his hand in from of his face and looked at it as if he hadn't seen it before. He then made a fist, and punched his cheek rather hard.
"OUCH! Yup, not a dream!", he then grinned widely.
"Umm...are you okay? Maybe did you hit your head in the forest?", Twilight inquired.
"What do you mean in the forest?", Lawrence responded.
"That's where we found you."
"We? Who's we?"
Then he noticed the group of ponies currently sitting off to the left of the bed, talking about something. He was so surprised at who he was just looking at, that he almost started blurting out names. He stopped himself however when he realized it wouldn't be smart to let them know he knew who they were.
"WOW! I can't believe this! What are you all-.......horses or something?", he caught himself quickly enough.
"No, we're ponies. What's a horse?", Twilight asked.
"Nothing...it's just you look like an animal species from my world," Law was going to utterly fail if he kept this up.
"Wait! You came from another world?! That would explain why I've never seen your kind before. What do you call your species back at...wherever you came from?", Twilight inquired.
"We call ourselves humans, and we-", he was cut off.
"You mean the ones from legend? I had only believed they were pony tales. I never thought I would meet one!", Twilight was very excited.
"Hmm, well. I don't want a bunch of public attention. And also, isn't there supposed to be some kind of meeting with...your leader? I mean, am I going to meet them or just stay here, hidden?", Law was hoping to meet Celestia.
"I thought you just said you didn't like a bunch of attention. Why do you want to meet Celestia?"
"That's different than public attention. Not that-nevermind! But I am a creature of legand! I should meet your ruler!"
"Hmm, maybe it is for the best that she know a legendary species has appeared on our planet. I'll message her about it. You should get some rest, you look like you may have hit your head harder than I thought." Spike took a letter and sent it away. But it was going to take forever, and everyone knows waiting it SO boring!
Law had fallen asleep, and when he woke up, he wasn't where he thought he had been before. He was in a brightly lit room, with a rather large window that had sunlight streaming in. On the curtains there were symbols, and Law knew just where he was.
"Ah, Celestia's palace. I suppose I should find out if I'm a prisoner or a guest."
He made his way to the door, and before he could reach the knob, the door flew into his face, sending him back onto the bed. He just sat there moaning for a few seconds, then finally found his sight. There was currently a pink blur in the doorway, but that was enough to tell who it was.
"Hello Pink-er....one. What brings you in here, slamming a door in my face?", he stared at her for a moment, then began rubbing his eyes.
"Whoops! Didn't mean to do that! But anyway! Princess Celestia wants to see you immediately! She says it's an honor to have a Human in her palace! Come on I'll lead the way!", Pinkie zipped into the hallway and was gone.
"What a wonderful guide!", he remarked when he was alone again.
After about ten minutes of wandering aimlessly, he eventually found his way to a big door. When he had convinced himself it was the throne room, he walked inside. To his disappointment, it was in fact another wing of the palace. Another hallway.
"Really?! I wake up in a Equestria, and this is how I spend my first cognitive day?" Well, let's just hope tha-what the?", he had stepped into a mop bucket.
He tried shaking it off, but it wouldn't budge. He just kept walking, as he grumbled to himself. Finally, he found a large open doorway with a sign that said, Throne Room.
"Finally!"
He began to walk in, when suddenly the bucket on his foot finally decided to lose traction. When he took his first step into the doorway, he flew backwards onto his rump, the bucket quickly landing on his head. This caused him to jump up and run around frantically, gargling soapy water. He continued to run around until he got caught up in one of the window curtains. Running around with a curtain wrapped around his head, he smashed his face straight into the side of Celestia's throne.
Celestia was speechless. She just stared at him. Was this in fact the legendary creature of legend?. He then jumped to his feet, and flung the bucket off of his head. The bucket landed on a nearby guard's head, and the guard fell over, unconscious. Then their eyes locked. Neither wanting to say the first word. This was awkward.
He then coughed up a few bubbles.
"So...hi, I'm Law."
Celestia, upon clearing her throat, softly spake in an elegant tone.
"Greetings. I hear you are one of the 'humans' our mythology books speak of."
"Um, i guess. I mean, yes," he finally decided. Then added a bow for good measure. "Your highness."
"How polite. Our hopes and desires may yet be answered."
"Yeah, my mom and dad taught me to b-hopes and desires?", he completely lost his original train of thought.
"Yes. You must help me, and all of Equestria," Celestia pleaded.
"Are you sure you want my help? Last guy I tried to help, well. Let's just say that staying in a Russian gulag for three years without toes or...other parts isn't the most pleasant of times," he looked seriously at the ground, an index finger resting on his chin. "He still won't accept my apology."
Celestia looked on in horror for a few seconds, then shook her head frantically. "What's a gulag?"
"Not important! You said you needed help?", he immediately drove the conversation elsewhere.
"Yes. We have received word that a friendship stone has been discovered near an old dragon napping ground. It's atop the peek of that mountain," Celestia pointed a hoof out the window at a mountain peek.
"Wait. So like, am I supposed to go into a cave with lots of dangerous stuff and get this thing for you?", Law stroked his very manly beard.
"No. You're just going to walk up there, grab it, and walk back."
"Oh. Well at least you didn't just say it was atop a mountain, and then let me run around randomly looking at that mountain, that one and that one," Law pointed to three mountains connecting to the one Celestia had pointed to.
"Yes, that would not be in our best efforts."
"Welp. I s'pose I should be going now," Law awkwardly walked out of the courtroom.
As Law walked through town, he realized that he never really knew how to get out of here. He didn't really come here in the first place. He didn't even come to Equestria at all. He just woke up in a strange bed, then he fell asleep, and then he woke up in yet another strange bed. So now he had no clue where he was, except for the remnant thought that Celestia usually came from Canterlot in all the episodes she appears in.
"So am I in Canterlot?", he saw a stallion walking down the street. "Excuse me sir, but am I in Canterlot?", he asked in a rather posh British accent.
"Yes, yes you are, and might I ask what you are?"
"Why my dear sir, I am a human."
"A human? Fascinating!", the stallion suddenly had a posh British accent.
"May I ask, where might I find the exit?"
"Stage right! You cannot miss it! Hahaha!"
"Why thank you old chap!"
"You're quite welcome dear boy!"
And with that, Law exited stage right.
As Law exited stage right, he found himself in complete darkness. He hadn't a clue where he was, only that he had somehow just left Canterlot. After a few moments, he found himself looking into an endless smoke, inside the smoke, he found words and a picture of a pegasus flying. The words read the following: Pegasi control the weather in Equestria. The Everfree Forest is an example of a 'nonpegasium', or a place in which the weather is not pegasi controlled.
"Interesting..."
Finally, after what felt like an hour, Law found himself standing outside of a large wooden gate. He looked and saw two royal guards standing on either side of the gate. He decided that he wanted to talk to them.
"Hello there sir guard, might I speak with you?", his sexy British accent gone, he spoke in a stupid American accent. It doesn't matter which stupid American accent it was, as they are all stupid.
"Let me guess, somepony stole your cupcake."
"What? No, that is not it at all."
"My cousin's out fighting changelings, and what do I get? Guard duty."
"Heh, doody. I mean! Wait, are you even listening to me? Meh, I don't care anyway. Hey you!", he shouted to the other guard.
"I used to be an adventurer like you, than I took an arrow in the knee."
The other guard quickly spoke up.
"Me too!", he ran over next to Law and whispered in his ear. "We all took arrows in the knee. Don't do it! You'll end up like us. Don't. Do it!", he jumped back to his post.
"Okaaaaay. I'll be off then."
Law looked in the direction of the peak Celestia had pointed at, and immediately found it.
After what felt like hours, Law found himself at the peak. He held in his possession a wooden sword he had punched out of a tree, and a bunch of wolf pelts. He looked over and found the friendship stone sitting on a pedestal.
"Wow. That was easy."
Law walked over and grabbed the friendship stone and turned to walk away. As soon as he turned around he noticed that something smelled fishy.
"Something smells fishy."
That's what I just said! Anyway, he looked down and saw a dead fish flopping about next to bowl of water that had broken against the rocks. He didn't know why the dead fish was flopping about even though it was dead.
"Oh, it's a fish. That's what smelled fishy. And it's next to that broken fish bowl. Huh, if it's dead than why is it still flopping about? Ah well."
Do I even need to be here?! Why am I even talking to him? He can't even hear me! Oh wait, my mic's turned off. I was wondering why there weren't any quotation marks, or tags that said I was speaking.
"There we go," the narrator said as he turned his mic on. "Oops, didn't mean to say that out loud."
"What the-!"
"Hey you! I'm the narrator. Can you please stop describing everything? That's my job!", the narrator politely asked.
"Oh, sorry."
"Thanks," the narrator then turned off his mic.
Law finally decided to return to Canterlot. Nothing really happens until like the last five minutes of the walk, so let's pretend this Horizontal Rule is most of his walk, and skip over it.
Now when Law was nearly in sight of Canterlot, he noticed something flying overhead. It was a giant dragonfly. He didn't know what to do but it seemed every guard was fleeing in terror and it was up to him to stop it. So he looked around for a weapon, and when he found none, he grabbed a corn stalk from a nearby corn field. He batted the dragonfly in the eye with it and the thing flew around and ran into the mountain and died.
Wow. That was boring. Let me try that again. *cough*
As the dragonfly flew overhead, Law knew he had to do something, so he looked for a sword, while holding the thing back with a hand. The dragonfly did not like this, so he picked Law up in his mouth and flung him across the large field, and Law conveniently landed in a corn field. Law lay there, looking around amongst the long corn stalks for a weapon, thinking of what to do.
"What to do? What to do? Aha! I've got it!", Law said as he reached for a rock.
The dragonfly swooped down and landed on his hand, making it impossible to reach the only weapon-like object in sight. Then, Law had a new idea. Law reached out with his free hand and grabbed one of the many corn stalks growing around him. With the freshly picked corn stalk, Law stabbed it straight into the eye of the beast, causing it to fly wildly in the mountain, impaling itself on a bunch of trees.
Law, with the corn still in hand, took a bite of it, like a boss. At that moment, you could hear a very loud shout come from what seemed like the sky.
DOVAHCORN!
Law raised his corn and simply took another bite.
Later in the presence of Celestia-what? I'm a lazy narrator alright?. Anyway, Celestia was talking with Law about the events of the day.
"Mr. Law, you have proven yourself worthy of the title of Dovahcorn. The Dovahcorn holds the power of the corn. Only the Dovahcorn can wield such a power and actually do damage with it. I mean seriously, if you were just some normal dude, that dragonfly would have killed you."
"So, am I supposed to go and see whoever it was that said I was the Dovahcorn?"
"What? Of course not! You can just go pig out on corn or something. How else would you get more acquainted with the power of the corn?"
"I don't understand what that means, but it still makes more sense than climbing a mountain to probably just do the same thing."
"Exactly. Also, I wish to make you a thane, so I can call on you any other time I'm too lazy to fetch a completely harmless artifact."
"Wow, thanks...I think."
"But wait, there's more! I'll also throw in this hot chick since I barely even know you!"
An attractive female guard walked in.
"And you want me to...do what now?"
"I dunno, whatever it is you do all the time. I hardly even know you. Heck, you could even go marry this pony for all I care. You could probably marry me for all I know, because we don't even have any rules regarding romantic relationships between employers and employees in this city."
"Um...okay."
"Also, you can buy a house. Because being a Thane immediately makes you a citizen just cuz I say so."
"Uh...alright."
"That's it. That's all you're getting from me. Seriously. I'll just start repeating myself if you don't leave," When Law didn't walk away immediately, Celestia kept talking. "That's it. That's all you're getting from me. Seriously. I'll jus-"
"Okaaay. I'm leaving. Come on...what's your name?"
"My name is Lyrica."
"Ah. Well Lyrica, let's get going. Here, hold all my stuff for me."
"Ugh. Fiiiiiine!", Law piled all his wolf pelts on Lyrica's back.
"This couldn't possibly go wrong!
