Of And Dot

by not plu

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Celestia, Human, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Alternate Universe, Princess Luna, Trixie
Length: 3915

This is a story of Twila Sparks and Trixie. Of light and dark. Of love and loss.

Of Twila Sparks
And Trixie.
Of light
And dark.
Of love
And loss.
Of women
And destiny.
Of future
And past.
Of life
And death.

Sequel to Princessy and Lunae et Nox

Published 2013-05-29 06:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-12-10 04:37:57 UTC

Of Twila Sparks

Of Twila Sparks

Of course I loved- love her. I have, and always will. You see, Twila, this is just the way the world works. There’s a symbol you may have seen before- yin-yang. It represents life: the darkness in the light and the light in the darkness. Here, let me find you a picture...

As I child I clung to anything the queen took interest in. For weeks I devoted all of my time to this symbol. I had countless books pulled from ancient libraries, and would devour them along with my morning cereal while she just watched, as an experimenter would. I eventually stopped when I began to see yings and yangs upon closing my eyes. I was seven. I still fear closing my eyes sometimes.

I’d seen a fair amount of horror from a young age. Things I’d never repeat. Ever. Things that could, and often did, make people go crazy. Yet my nightmares all feature black and white circles. And specific ones, at that.

It just got worse as time went on. The years seemed to be multiplied by ten, if you judged their effect on me.

My name is Twila Sparks.

I’m leaving my dream world- the royal school at Canterlot, and the personal tutoring by Celeste to move to an ag town in the middle of nowhere simply because the queen told me I needed fresh air.

I am not very happy about this.

Luckily, I’m not alone. I have my adopted brother Spike here for support, at least. Not that he’s anything more than a bumbling personal assistant.

Oh dear lord that storm is... two, three... close.

At least we’re not traveling by plane.

I love the atmosphere created by thunderstorms, but I’d rather not go out in them. Unfortunately, royal decrees are royal decrees, and cannot be allowed, even if you happen to be the queen's pet.

That was a pun.

Anyway, I was adopted by the queen at age four and raised as her personal student. I'm pretty smart.

Hyperbole. I'm a prodigy.

Which is why I'm the youngest ever cabinet member.

Which is the official reason I'm departing from Canterlot today.

In my opinion, I think the queen just wants to get rid of me.

People tell me I'm annoying sometimes.

Hyperbole. A lot.

I don't have many friends.

Hyperbole. I’m completely alone.

Other than Spike. But he doesn’t count.

He’s akin to my ward. And if you’ve read... never mind. I’ve been told I ramble often.

I can’t say I disagree, though it’s not my fault I know so much.

I’m awesome at trivia games.

Well I was, until I was banned from them.

That’s a long story, though. Maybe one for a different time.

I’m also always early. Which is why I must be off into the rain now, as to not be late for my train.

And Trixie

And Trixie

Okay so my life sucks.

Or rather, has sucked up until now.

I’ve been in various loony bins since age three.

I never got a name.

I ended up choosing Trixie at some point. Prob relates to what I’m best at.

They’ve pinned a lot on me so far.

Favorite is sociopathy. Psychopathy works well too. Schitzo almost became a nickname for me.

Also lots of drugs. Meds. Never take em. Usually sell em.

My last name, however came much later.

Basically my life changed a lot when I met her.

I was little. I saw her off-and-on for years.

Physically saw, not dated.

But years ago today was when everything really started. I can’t remember the number. It was recent-ish.

I’ve always had multiple sides to me.

But she... made the bad Trixies work with the good ones as one person.

She helped me in ways nobody can even comprehend.

And today, maybe because of her, today I’m out. I’m done. Today’s the day I dreamed of since I was four. The day to be truly free.

This weather sucks for freedom.

I’ve never minded bad weather, but seriously. It’s been storming nonstop. Perfect weather for someone like me, but not psychosomatic for freedom.

She's sent me out on a quest of sorts. She says I'm stronger than she is right now, so I'm fit for it. I'll probably just end up back on the streets. I always do.

I've got a cover, though. A traveling magician. I'm very good at magic... at tricks. Now you get the name part. Anyway, magic's an ancient, underappreciated art. I've taught myself most of my magic. A while ago, someone saw me doing some simple card tricks and called me "prodigal". I didn't know what that word meant until years later.

You see, people don't just tell me or give me things when I ask. They're not even supposed to talk to me. It took countless years of asking people what that word meant before someone had the gall to tell me. For those years, "prodigal" was just written off as one of my ticks. It wasn't.

So I'm a troubled kid. But she's molded me into something better.

Thunder and lightning. Ugh.

It’s a pretty sweet deal, and for once, a new experience.

I’ve had every job in a street urchin’s vocabulary. All in between extended stays at various casas de locos. They’ve come to know me. The minute I walk into one they always automatically know what to do.

Trixie

The girl with no forms, just a list.

The closest thing I have to identification is 903-69514

Nine o three dash six nine five one four. I’ve had it memorized since I can remember. I don’t know where or how I got it, but that’s my number. Some hospitals just call me 903.

I have lots of nicknames:

Trixie

Moon

Lulamoon

Lulu

Schitzo

Nympho

Trix

903

3Dash

Dark

Death

Psycho

Pathy

Nobody

Unwanted

Useless

Astronaut

Pill

The list goes on and on. Some make sense now. Some will later. They’re all stories though. I have lots of stories. Someday maybe I’ll tell all of them. Would take a while though.

If anyone ever wants to hear them, I’ll start at the beginning. With thunder and lightning. And just like now, I had somewhere to be.

And Dark

And Dark

Darkness is my true element.

In the light, staying hidden takes work. The night lends itself to secrecy. It feels natural to slip on dark clothes as the sun sets and wait for optimal darkness. Familiar. Comforting, even.

But no, it’s not dark yet. Not dark enough.

In some ways, it’s never dark enough.

I know this place can never hold my darkness. The sunshine seems to mock me.

I feel... exposed.

Exposed.

God, that’s a weird word.

It makes me uneasy, anyway. Maybe  because of the way my life’s always been secretive. Secluded.

Maybe that’s just another influence she’s had on me.

I mean, our meetings were always in the dark.

Symbolic, sure, but the darkness was needed.

And she wasn’t mysterious about that either. She always trusted me.

Stupid.

I guess that’s why I’m here.

For her darkness.

I mean, there’s always light in the darkness. And darkness in the light. It’s this silly circle thing that she- everyone’s obsessed with. I forget what it’s called. No- I don’t want to remember. But let’s focus on the darkness.

But it’s not dark enough.

Not yet.

Dot

..

“God, it’s dark.”

“What’s the matter, scared?”

“What- who- where are you?”

“1. A person.”

“I gathered.”

“But did you?”

“I-”

“2. I think you know.”

“I don’t.”

“Yes, you do.”

“I really don’t.”

“Hmm. They told me you weren’t stupid. They must’ve been wrong.”

“Don’t you dare. I will have you know I am extremely intelligent.”

“A prodigy.”

“Well, yes. Thank you.”

“It wasn’t a compliment.”

“Oh.”

“Are you always this socially awkward?”

“Don’t you have one more question to answer?”

“I asked you first.”

“Well, technically...”

“Just answer the stupid question.”

“... yes. Now answer yours.”

“3. Right behind you.”

And Loss

And Loss

I’ve got her right where I want her.

God, she’s such a wimp. Heh.

Look at her struggle to remain composed, to convince me she’s not scared.

Look at her weakness. It’s pitiful.

I can almost imagine her thoughts. She’s probably thinking of...

Of Celeste.

God effing dammit, she’s thinking of that stupid queen.

She probably thinks her ‘love’ will give her strength.

How stupid is she? I mean, really?

Well, Twila Sparks, I’ve got something behind me that’s way stronger than your love.

Loss.

I’ve never had anything going for me. I have no memories of the crackheads one would call parents, no happy days of childhood innocence.

Nothing but cold and dark and pain and loneliness and loss.

I haven’t known the luxuries she has. I haven’t received the love and nurturing she has from her mentor. Mine showed me how the world really is. Mine may’ve shown me pain, but she showed me the truth.

I think I’m stronger than her for it.

So that’s why I’m here.

That’s why I’m here.

And she knows it.

Watching her squirm, God does she know it.

Timebis nocte, Twila.

Timebis nocte.

And Destiny

And Destiny

I’m Luna. Go sit in the corner and stay quiet, irrumator.

I don’t care. Your usual ways and dumb, selfish acts won’t get you anywhere with me.

God, you’re an idiot.

Look, I’m not doing this because I care about you.

Stop crying. I thought you were strong.

You’re doing better. But it’s not good enough, not yet.

I wasn’t going to take you. I refused stubbornly. I wasn’t stable enough. Neither were you.

Because of the- of a thing, cane. A thing that’s out of my control, and unfortunately into yours.

Just go away. Leave me alone.

Okay, fine, you’ve come a long way. Don’t let it go to your head.

God, look at you. It’s pathetic.

Okay I have something to tell you. Something you’ll need to do eventually. I don’t know when. But it’s important.

Stop asking so many goddamn questions.

You’ll never be strong enough.

Stop thinking you’re important. I don’t care if you are or not, just stop thinking it.

You think I did all this to save you? I did it for me. You’re just a mannequin standing in for me. It was just a roll of the dice.

Wake up. It’s today. Perite.

Of Future

Since I was little, I dreamed of what I would do with my life. I wanted to be a teacher, a scientist, a princess, an author.

A legend.

And I’m pretty sure I’m going to die. I have to accept that.

I can feel death swirling around me, heavy, through the darkness.

There’s supposed to be a light at the end of the tunnel, right? You go into the light when you die. Right?

But there’s just darkness. Just darkness.

Memories are floating through my brain, as if my life is having trouble flashing before my eyes, but all I can focus on is potential.

There’s so much I wanted to do. So much I was looking forward to.

Completing this mission.

Tea with a childhood teacher next week.

The presentation on historical diplomatic procedures next month.

My initiation into the Royal Council.

My name in the history books.

Falling in love, settling down, having a family.

Discovering a new element.

Twila Sparks in the newspaper, and not just the tabloid section.

Friends.

Coming home for Christmas.

Celebrating my brother’s birthday with our yearly traditions.

Finally being proud of all I’ve done.

None of it.

None of it will happen.

And it’s all because of this girl. This stupid-

No. Incredibly smart.

It’s almost a shame they labeled her a crazy, really, because of all of her potential. Her untapped IQ must be-

I shouldn’t sympathize with my murderer.

Perhaps it doesn’t matter, though. I’ll be dead soon. It won’t matter then.

Nothing will. Not my hopes, not my dreams, not my aspirations. Nothing.

Only what I’ve left behind.

So why can’t I recall the past?

Everything’s fading. What did my mother’s face look like? What color is my bedroom? What did I get for my thirteenth birthday?

Everything’s fading.

Except for Twila Sparks.

Twila Sparks the teacher.

Twila Sparks the scientist.

Twila Sparks the princess.

Twila Sparks the author.

Maybe- maybe that’s the light... up ahead there. The darkness... the darkness too... is fading.

It’s time to say goodbye.

Goodbye to everything I ever wanted to be.

Or maybe... hello?

Dot

.

“Next stop Ponyville. Arriving at Ponyville in approximately three minutes.”

“Come on, Spike. That’s us.”

“Are you excited, Twila?”

“No.”

“Maybe you can talk to her.”

“Fine.”

“...”

“Hi, I’m Twila. I see we’re getting off at the same stop.”

“Yeah.”

“What’s your name?”

“...”

“Okay, then.”

“...”

“See, Spike, this is why I don’t attempt to make friends.”

“Come on, Twila. You’re so lame.”

“This is why I hate you.”

“You don’t hate me.”

“Yes I do.”

Of Light

Of Light

I’m glad it’s sunny here. Even if I am in the middle of nowhere.

I’ve always been uncomfortable with the dark. I had a terrible fear of it when I was little. I slept with the lights on. I still can’t sleep in 100% darkness, something that Spike teases me about often.

Celeste used to joke about it, say that we’re meant to be because she’s never liked the dark either.

Didn’t think about it much as a child, but as I grew older it stuck with me.

I suppose I’ve always known too much. I’ve gleaned an incredible amount of information from living in the castle. I’m sure if I thought about it more, I’d unearth quite a lot.

Sort of like a puzzle. I have all the pieces, but I’m not sure if I want to see the picture.

Anyway, I have a task. To get across town somehow.

Spike’s speaking, I believe. Not that I care.

It’s ridiculously bright here. Like it’s... too happy.

Too perfect.

Yet it’s empty.

Something’s definitely up here. And if there’s anyone to figure it out, it’s Twila Sparks.

Twila Sparks. The Light Child.

The light child. It’s what the tabloids call me. I don’t know how it surfaced, only that I’ve been mockingly called that my entire life.

The light child.

It... makes me uneasy. Rolls over my tongue strangely.

This light is getting unbearable. It sure is hot here. Maybe that’s why I’m the only one around. Maybe they’re just avoiding the heat. That’s got to be it. That’s where I should be now, too. Inside, where it’s cool.

Seriously, Spike is possibly the worst, most idiotic...

Oh. We’re here. Well then. Here comes the sweet solace of air conditioning. And maybe a fruity drink.

Tonight is when my work really starts.

Of Love

Of Love

I’m not that hard to scare.

Hyperbole.

I’m a wimp.

But I have to convince her I’m not.

Which’ll be hard.

But I’ll do it.

After all, it’s for Celeste. I’d do anything for her.

I do everything for her.

Because she loves me.

And I love her.

And even if I’ve never had friends, I’ve always had her love.

That’s always been enough.

So I’ll do this. For her.

She’s... always been there for me. She’s always seem the potential in me. Since I was just a little kid. And she believes in me. She believes I can do this.

And so I will. That’s all I need behind me. I don’t need friends, or family, or good reviews, I just need...

She became queen at only eleven, and she’s done a pretty damn good job, and she’s everything, everything to me.

I love her.

And she loves me.

And I can guarantee you, that’s more than this bitch has ever had.

I have love behind me.

And love conquers all.

Dot

...

“There we go. Light.”

“Damn. My worst enemy.”

“You... you’re the girl from the train. Oh my god, if I had just- god, I’m so stupid.”

“Well, you got me now. I’ve lost all my advantage over you, it seems.”

“Hah!”

“That was sarcasm.”

“Oh. I just thought...”

“Since I snuck up on you at night? Or since I was raised in the dark?”

“I know who you are now.”

“I know.”

“I know you know.”

“Fine then. Who am I?”

“You’re... Trixie Lulamoon.”

“Yes, that’s my name. But Twila darling, what’s in a name?”

“You... you were her Protégé Just like I was. You were- mmph!”

“Don’t. Speak of that. Don’t say her name.”

“Mmph... mmm... MMM!”

“Promise and I’ll unbind you.”

“Mmhmm.”

“There.”

“You know, I know magic too.”

“So Celeste taught you more than just useless information?”

“Magic’s just useless tricks.”

“Don’t you dare say that, scronium.”

“Scio latine, meretrix.”

“Ego novi. But stultus est sicut stultus facit.”

“If you’re going to insult me, do it in English.”

“Oh, I will insult you however I like, Twila Sparks. And I shall do more than that. I will break you.”

“I won’t be falling for you mindgames any time soon.”

“Your self-confidence sickens me. You were sheltered. You are naive. No, you shall fall, and you shall shatter into a thousand pieces. And you are mistaken if you think I won’t be pushing you off the edge.”

“I have the queen behind me. You have no one. Your mentor was-”

“Twila Sparks sat on a wall. Twila sparks had a great fall. All the queen’s horses and all the queen’s men couldn’t put Twila together again...”

Of Women

Of Women

Because you’re so special, darling. She heard how smart you are and wanted to see you.

Shh, Twila. I’ll see you soon. It’ll be just like summer camp. You’ve always wanted to go, haven’t you honey?

I’ll take good care of her, I promise.

My name is Celeste and I am seventeen years old. What’s your name?

Are you... okay, Twila? Are you happy here?

Let’s go to the zoo.

Shh, Luna, it’s okay I’m here.

Oh. Oh my. I’m sorry Twila. Could you just... give me a moment? Thank you, dear.

Twila, I have something very important we need to discuss.

Do you understand?

You’re very bright, Twila. And I believe in you.

How are you doing, Twila, it seems like it’s been forever since we’ve talked. How’s my brightest daughter doing?

Twila Sparks, you must understand the gravity of this. It is... beyond my control.

I don’t need you for physical strength, Twila. If I needed that I would’ve called on one of my guards. No, this is a game that a woman must play. This country has always been lead by females, and you are no different.

You are no ordinary girl, Twila, and neither is the one you are meeting.

Don’t fear the darkness, Twila.

Darkness

Darkness

Dot

....

“Where... where am I?”

“I never knew you were so cliche, Twila.”

“Eugh... everything... hurts.”

“I am aware.”

“Wh-what did you... do?”

“It was a simple knockout powder of sorts, which I had up my sleeve. I thought you were a magician.”

“I... am. But that isn’t... m-magic.”

“Anything is magic, scum. Science is magic. Nature is magic. Friendship is magic.”

“How did you... know...?”

“Ugh, you think I don’t have time in there? Time to research a target’s weaknesses? Plus, I had plenty of information from my master. I doubt yours told you anything about me, mine was always more informed. That's why-”

“Luna.”

“What?”

“Luna, Princess of the Night, sent to- mmph. Mmm.”

“I said never to speak her name. I told you... not to. Why didn’t you listen?”

“MMM!”

“Oh, that’s right, because you’re a spoiled teacher’s pet who always gets her way. Who’s had everything just handed to her. Well years in mental institutions has actually taught me something. And that’s how to hurt someone. You were wrong earlier, when you said you hurt everywhere. Ready yourself, because you don’t know what pain is. Yet.”

“Mmm... mmph!”

“Ring around the prodigy

Pocket full of prophecy

Ashes, ashes

The queen falls down...”

And Past

And Past

She deserves it.

I can see the pain on her face, every twinge of agony, the life draining from her, drop by drop, and I’ll admit I take sort of sick pleasure in it.

But she deserves it.

I’m not, definitely not, going to help her. Why would I?

She deserves it.

I don’t care if you call me crazy. I’ve been called that a billion times already. “Crazy” can’t get to me. But I hear you. You’re asking “why?”. I can hear your pathetic little voice, pleading with me to save her, or at least explain why “she deserves it”.

I’m not going to help her. No one was there to help me.

And while she, Twila Sparks, the darling of our ruler, was doted upon and received love and affection and support and encouragement, I got nothing.

I had my darkness. My solitude. The iciness seeping into my skin, winding its way around every cut, bruise, and scrape. But mostly I had the words. I was never told anything but how unimportant and useless I am, just a pawn, only useful for my malleability.

I can’t... argue with that.

But maybe... maybe now...

I’ve captured the queen, Luna. The game’s won.

I did everything you asked of me.

Look at her, dying.

I won, Luna.

I’m here.

Don’t ever think you’re important. That’s what’s wrong with her- she let it all go to her head. Just look at her. You don’t want to end up that way, my meretrix? Don’t worry, you won’t. You’re nothing. You’re useless. You’ll be forgotten. You’re nothing but a tool to me, a stepping stone to my end goal. You’re inferior. Come here... repeat it. Useless... unimportant... why aren’t you repeating it? Idiot! Are you- are you crying, you little irrumator, I thought you could withstand a little pain. You’re worthless, moecha putida. Go get the salt and I’ll teach you Latin.

Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo...

Look at me, I’m the monster, the monstrum. I...

But she deserves it. She was everything I couldn't be. She deserves it, she deserves it...

Does she?

Dot

“Eugh... ugh...”

“No... no... I... you”

“I...”

“T-Twila?”

“Ugh... yeah?”

“Are you dead... yet?”

“No, I... ah... am I?”

“But I killed you, I won, I won the game.”

“G-game?”

“And I get to go home now, and there will be cake and presents and a nice loving family and always wood for the fire and always food, like yummy stews and fresh fruit-”

“Eurgh... T-Tr-xie?”

“- and never cold or lonely and no beating or cursing, just love, and I get- I get to be you, with all the light and love and everything I always wanted and it’ll be perfect and I’ll be so happy because I won. I killed you. I- I... I won- I won the game, d-didn’t I, Twila?”

“Trixie... ah... Trixie, you- you’re... c-crazy.”

“Crazy?”

“You’re... going... insane?”

“Crazy?”

“Trixie- I...”

“Poor little Trixie, hopped up on pills. Don’t get near her, she’s the one that kills.”

“It... hurts...”

“Poor little Trixie, gonna die alone. How many pedophiles did she bone?”

“Tri-”

“COUNT!”

“Uh, one.”

“Poor little Trixie.”

“Two.”

“Hopped up on pills.”

“Three.”

“Don’t get near her.”

“Four.”

“She’s the one that kills.”

“Fi- TRIXIE!”