Memoirs of a Nightmare

After my chuckles died down we were left in a silence that was not entirely uncomfortable. I, for one, felt no need to break it as I idly looked around, though Octavia apparently did.

“So… do you think you could tell us why you decided to come to Ponyville?”

“Well, I didn’t really make any decision to come here, I just sort of… did.” I was well aware of how lame an excuse that was, but the two ponies at the table with me once again accepted it without question. I was starting to question their mental faculties, if I’m honest.

Apparently one question was enough to spark a form of friendly inquisition, much to my chagrin, as it was Vinyl Scratch who piped up next.

“So, what’s your job then?”

Masterminding plots, scaring ponies, destabilising countries… Not the greatest resumé.

“I don’t actually have one.”

Octavia looked at me with a slight amount of alarm showing through “Then how do you get by?”

“Well… you know…” By not needing anything that I might have to spend money on, at least, that was before recent events. “I just sort of go from day to day.”

Even as I said that I felt a little pang of annoyance from deep within myself, I like to consider myself meticulous when it comes to planning. Even if my day plan for quite some time had been ‘wake up, look at burning rocks, avoid hellhounds, go back to sleep’.

A slightly calculating look accompanied Octavia’s next question “So, where do you live, then?”

Something told me that answering that was a bad idea, but outright lying would have been even worse. She was onto something, how accurate her guess was I didn’t know at the time, but she was clearly working towards something.

“I don’t really have a set home, per se, like I said I just sort of wander around.”

“So where are you staying tonight?”

I was now starting to panic slightly, and I could begin to feel liquid run down my face, I glanced upward slightly to check if it was raining. Oh, I’m sweating, that’s inconvenient.

“W-well, I didn’t really have any plans as of yet… I mean I’m sure I can come up with something, I just need a moment to-.”

Octavia cut me off at this point, pushing herself away from the table with a decisive air “That’s it! You’re staying with us, at least for tonight. Right, Vinyl?”

Much to my horror, Vinyl grinned and nodded enthusiastically “Yeah, sounds like the mare could use somewhere to stay.”

“No!” Vinyl’s grin disappeared and Octavia looked at me questioningly “Thank you very much for the offer.” I said through a forced grin, I’m almost certain my face was in a rictus “But I’m absolutely fine, I assure you, I don’t need the help, the meal was much appreciated, but you don’t need to worry about me.”

“But-.”

“I said I could sort something out, and I will.” I wasn’t sure how, but I had no desire to spend much more time around these mares, my own curiosity and a previously non-existent need for food had driven me to stay with them for quite some time, but I knew that the longer I stayed the more likely it became that I would do something to give myself away in some fashion.

The two mares before me shared a glance before opening their mouths to speak, but now I had momentum and I wasn’t willing to let them argue their case, undemocratic maybe, but I felt it necessary.

“I can handle myself perfectly well.” I was well aware I was effectively making the same point over and over again, but I felt the need to hammer it home, as colloquial a phrase as that was. The atmosphere around the table had become decidedly uncomfortable and so I decided to make good with my retreat.

“I will be on my way then, good day.” I slid out from the table and walked off in a direction that just so happened to take my fancy, fortunately, neither mare saw fit to follow me.

I had only been walking for a short time when a voice that somehow managed to sound pink (don’t ask me how) stopped me in my tracks.

“I found you!” I must have jumped nearly four times my own body height into the air, I think this was perfectly justified given that the voice emanated from a point less than an inch from my own ear.

The proclamation of discovery was followed by a bout of giggles as I turned on shaky legs towards whoever had addressed me, and my legs nearly fell out from beneath me completely when I recognised the pony that had managed to sneak up behind me. Bouncing up and down before me was none other than the Element of Laughter herself.

“I’ve been looking for you all day! My Pinkie sense woke me up this morning, telling me there was a new pony in town, in fact, it told me that there was a new new pony in town, so I checked with the hospital after breakfast to see if there were any new foals, just ‘cause I wanted to see them, because they’re sooooo cute! You can’t really throw a party for a foal that young, though, they don’t like it. Anyhoo, when I went there, they told me there were no new foals, in fact there weren’t even any pregnant mares, so I decided to take a look around town asking after the new new pony and after walking around all morning, I found Vinyl and Octavia leaving the café so I decided to ask them, and they told me they’d seen the new new pony, though they looked a little confused when I said ‘new new’. Then they pointed me in the direction they said you’d left, and I went that way, and now I’ve found you!”

Despite having followed only around 40% of what was just said, the triumphant smile and the phrase ‘I found you’ along with the assertion that this mare could sense me were all I really needed to see or hear, what I would guess are pegasus instincts encouraged me to take to the air, another part of me wanted to kick her in the face, a third told me to fling her as far as I could with my magic and my original instincts were screaming at me to vanish into the shadows and get the hell out of there.

Flying was ruled out due to the ‘hoody’ I was wearing; my second and third options were ruled out by the fact that we were still in a very public place and my normal default action was out of the question as it would mean revealing myself completely to someone who doubtless had a direct line to Princess Celestia. So I decided on a much less complicated course of action.

It’s called running for your life.

I ran in pretty much a straight line out of town until I found myself in the leafy folds of the Everfree Forest, the Element of Laughter didn’t make my escape easy, she kept popping up at the most inopportune moments. If she couldn’t teleport, I swore to myself that I’d eat my left wing.

Luckily, even she didn’t seem willing to follow me into the Everfree it was, after all, a place of ill repute. I decided to follow the one path I knew through the forest, as I did so I allowed my mind to wander slightly in order to attempt to make plans. It seemed my best option would be to wait until nightfall just inside the Everfree’s border as that was when it actually became dangerous before I made my way back into Ponyville and then take the signposted route to the nearest city that wasn’t Canterlot, I could then hide out there until I figured out what to do without the pressure of having my most recent set of enemies anywhere near me.

I hoped.

I had no conclusive evidence to say that they would all be there, but now it just seemed fitting that they would be grouped together, I cursed myself for not thinking of it sooner when I ran into Rarity.

In less time than you would imagine, I found myself at the Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters or whatever it was called, by the time I reached it it was late afternoon, with the Sun more than halfway through its descent towards the horizon. The air was starting to become a little chill and the wind in this area was picking up.

I couldn’t help but feel a little nostalgic; I remembered the moonlit night on which I had met Luna. I remembered the day we saw the ponies celebrate the day, and the moment when a foal asked why there even needed to be a night.

I remembered how Celestia failed to defend her sister; I remembered how she failed her, as she failed so many others. Something sharp poked to the forefront of my mind, it was a memory, though I couldn’t tell which one distinctly I suddenly found myself crying.

I know about crying, in fact, I know a lot about grief in general, I experienced Luna’s in full when on the Moon, over my lifespan, I have seen many ponies and griffins and even changelings cry on top of several other types of creatures.

I never expected to find myself crying, not for something that happened over a thousand years ago, not for some memory I couldn’t even divine, hidden by the shrouds of time as it was, and I certainly never thought I would cry for Luna. She already had more than enough tears in her life.

I suddenly felt movement behind me (oh, how I miss having a 360 degree view of the world) and whirled around, lashing out with a hoof which connected solidly with the startled face of a zebra who tumbled a good distance, clearly dazed. Shocked out of my reverie, I started after her, an unconscious snarl on my face.

“Hold, friend. Stay your hoof, I seek not your end, but to offer you a place beneath my roof!” Her odd method of speech was enough to dispel most of my anger, the fact I could detect no dishonesty in her tone helped as well. The final nail in the coffin of my rage was the blanket that was nearby, from the position of it; it seemed that this zebra had been attempting to drape it over my shoulders.

Feeling abashed, I lowered the hoof that had been raised to take my next step. Violence is by no means my usual first resort; a swift escape is normally my main objective when I’m certain someone means me harm.

“Apologies.” I said a little stiffly “But the Everfree Forest is not a pleasant place to be surprised.” I offered my hoof to help the zebra get to her own.

She offered me a slight smile “On that we can agree, it most certainly is not, I must also offer an apology, now might I suggest we head somewhere more hot?”

“You mean your home?” I don’t know why I felt the need to clarify, but some ridiculous thought told me that the pits of Tartarus were hotter than where we currently were. My musings had advanced the clock to a point where the Sun was no longer visible and I cursed myself slightly, as blasé as I could be about the Everfree in the day, I had no desire to traverse it alone at night. Eventually I judged the risk of staying with her was far outweighed by the risk of wandering through the Everfree and then sneaking through a town at night.

The zebra nodded with a warm smile and I let out an unconscious breath through my nose.

“So, what’s your name?” I almost immediately cursed my own curiosity.

“My name is Zecora, the local expert on flora and fauna. Might I ask yours, if it is not too course?”

Just as I was gearing up for some kind of fantastical excuse a name just seemed to emerge from the maelstrom of my thoughts.

“I am Mendax.” Zecora looked at me oddly for a moment before shaking it off as I glanced at her, worried.

“An old word, one not often heard. It means both liar and storyteller. As it is your moniker, pray tell, to which do you refer?” For some reason, I smiled.

“If I said storyteller, do you not think I could be lying?”

“If you were, it would be a sad thing indeed, for to me you seem honest in both spirit and deed.” I shot a slightly alarmed look at Zecora; I never thought I’d be described that way, and in rhyme, no less!

As it turned out, it was only a short way to Zecora’s home, it being situated only about halfway from the edge of the forest to the castle where we met. Even with the masks leering down from the walls her hut was warm and comforting with several comfortable seats situated around a fire with a large cauldron sat atop it. Aside from the various shelves full of books and ingredients the only other furniture was two beds built into the walls. We briefly partook in a small bowl of some herbal broth before Zecora suggested we both turned in for the night, but not before she attempted to sate her curiosity.

“If you could, would you tell me, what was that song, out in the Everfree?” I blinked in confusion.

“What song are you talking about?”

“The one that drew me to you, its sadness, to me, ran right through.”

“I assure you, I wasn’t singing any sort of song. I don’t know any, for a start.”

Zecora seemed to accept this and I was allowed to get into the bed, the zebra gave me a glance when I didn’t take my hoodie off but I was able to drift off eventually.