Memoirs of a Nightmare

by Angle Dragon 28

Rating: teen
Tags: Random
Length: 7912

I've never really had a name. The thought that I needed one never really occured to me before. Over the years, I've shared many names with many infamous ponies. The most prominent of which was Nightmare Moon... Now, for once, I get to choos

I awoke to what I expected to be another day in Tartarus, and when I say that I’m being depressingly literal, unlike many when they are simply referring to another day of work. What I wasn’t expecting was to find myself in the middle of an orchard, lying down, looking at the sky, apparently well rested and not surrounded by the smell of burning sulphur for the first time in just over a year. There were even birds singing in the early morning sunlight and the apples hanging from the trees dropped slightly scented and refreshing dew onto my body. The trees even dappled the sunlight to prevent it from blinding me. All in all it was what even I could describe as an idyllic morning.

And I hated every moment of it.

Some ponies say that's not a great way to start my memoirs, but it is the most truthful. So that's where we'll start.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-09-11 22:58:09 UTC

Chapter one: Weird awakenings, mortal enemies and 'hoodies'

I awoke to what I expected to be another day in Tartarus, and when I say that I’m being depressingly literal, unlike many when they are simply referring to another day of work. What I wasn’t expecting was to find myself in the middle of an orchard, lying down, looking at the sky, apparently well rested and not surrounded by the smell of burning sulphur for the first time in just over a year. There were even birds singing in the early morning sunlight and the apples hanging from the trees dropped slightly scented and refreshing dew onto my body. The trees even dappled the sunlight to prevent it from blinding me. All in all it was what even I could describe as an idyllic morning.

And I hated every moment of it.

I hated the fact that I knew I shouldn’t be here, I hated the fact that I didn’t know why I was there and most of all I hated that this meant that someone knew more about the situation than I did. As an avid schemer, plotter and purveyor of supposedly dastardly deeds, if there was one thing I hated it was feeling as if I didn’t have any control over a situation, after all, in my experience the moment things go out of control is normally the moment in which you get blasted into enforced banishment by some sickeningly brightly coloured pony (or ponies). I also kind of missed my little pit in Tartarus. Once you got over the smell it really was kind of homely.

And another thing- “Dammit, why do I feel so heavy?!” I finally let out the most pressing question in my mind. The fact of the matter is, even in Tartarus, even when I was in somepony else’s body, I was expressed as, well, barely more than a whisper and a body of magical mist I guess would be the best description, and now I felt oddly bulky and heavy in the wrong places, I could feel that my mass congregated at odd points throughout my being.

Moving my point of view, I found myself looking down at a long, sleek body covered in dark, blue fur, I also noticed a pair of wings along with a copious mane of white fur hanging down over my right eye, looking up to focus on it, I also noticed a rather large horn sprouting from my forehead. Now, I’d like to think I’m fairly intelligent and able to process things rather quickly, but my brain, for apparently I had a physical one now, skipped a gear at that until it finally came up with the appropriate response.

“Well, that can’t be good.” Good work brain, that was depressingly understated.

I sat up using a few bits of muscle memory I’d picked up from possessing ponies for most of my existence and decided to take a good poke around in my new mental faculties.

“So, not much to report up there.” I said somewhat rhetorically “This means that either this is an entirely new body created by someone with godlike powers and I somehow ended up in it, unlikely, seeing as how the only beings I know like that probably hate the guts which I now possess. Or, it was some halfwit who tried to call me back to this world and had their soul stolen for their troubles and I ended up in their now vacant body, but what alicorn would be moronic enough to try that?”

Putting aside the fact that I knew nothing of any alicorns other than the royal princesses, neither of these explanations seemed particularly apt for the situation at hoof. Unfortunately, my theorizing was cut short by somepony calling out from elsewhere in the orchard, apparently my musings hadn’t been all that quiet.

“Hey! Is somepony out there? You know this is private property! You better not be up to anything!” To my eternal shame, I, the terror that had nearly blanketed Equestria in permanent darkness twice and caused two of the closest sisters in all of history to turn on each other before only being stopped by the most powerful magic they had at their disposal, well, I panicked. And I resorted to my oldest method of escape. At least I found out I could still assume my stance as a formless mist as I whizzed away through the trees, though this was of little consequence as I discovered exactly where I was. I reassumed my solid form on a hill a short distance from the orchard I had found myself in, struggling to regain my balance properly as I still wasn’t used to being entirely solid and under my own power, I noticed the town the orchard overlooked and felt a curious clenching sensation in my chest. I chose to ignore this in favour of the very real panic attack I was actually having, I recognised the town as Ponyville, in all its ridiculously twee glory, and that fact scared me to an unreasonable degree, the town was the last one I had visited before actually being imprisoned in Tartarus.

I shoved the fear aside with a snort, I had no reason to fear the town, it was the mares that had come from that town that were the problem, though in all likelihood they had only been there for the Summer Sun Celebration, so I really had no reason to be nervous. I know about as much about surviving in the wild as your average houseplant, unsurprising really, given my previous avocation, so that village represented my best chance of survival, but to avoid raising any suspicion I had no doubts that I would have to hide my alicorn nature, if the royal sisters found out about a mystery alicorn wandering around the rural town, they’d no doubt investigate and that could lead to some very uncomfortable questions and quite possibly, a swift return journey to Tartarus, and despite my earlier thoughts I found that prospect particularly unedifying.

I decided to enter the town in my incorporeal form as I have about as much experience with sneaking as I do with surviving in the wild, which is to say, none at all. Generally snaking along low to the ground and remaining as inconspicuous as possible seemed to work until I was finally able to locate a building that appeared to sell clothing of one sort or another, glancing through the window I spotted a mare moving about inside and cursed to myself, it seemed the store was already open, there was no chance for me to move through and snag something like a cloak without being noticed. I moved into the alleyway next to the store and, having become corporeal again, I began to plot, my best bet was a simple illusion spell, I decided to hide my wings, they may have been larger than my horn, but using magic was important to me even if I didn’t normally use a horn to channel magic and on top of that I also didn’t really use much magic at all.

The next problem would be money, this store looked fairly expensive, even though all I was looking for was a glorified sheet of cloth, the cost still worried me. I peeked my head around the corner and spotted a market place only a few dozen feet away in the wide open space around the town hall where Luna and I had made our return from the Moon in dramatic fashion. Swallowing a gulp of irrational fear, I ducked back around the corner and tried to focus, my biggest concern right now was self-preservation, so I needed something to conceal myself, and the way things were going, I’d need money to get that.

Dredging up some of the cloudy memories I’d gained through contact with Luna wasn’t easy, but I thought I could pull together the basics of a couple of spells I reckoned I would need, one was a conjuration spell, the other was an illusion spell I could use. In case you’re thinking those sound complicated, the conjuration was simply a matter of picturing what you wanted and then feeding magic into the image to force it into the real world, the more magic used, the longer it would last. The illusion was slightly more taxing, forcing you to layer magic over the area you wanted to affect, you could then alter other’s perceptions of the object, but it required a steady stream of magic. As an alicorn I was fairly sure I would have enough magical potential, it would just be a case of doing things properly.

Deciding to start with the conjuration, I pictured what I remembered of the standard Equestrian bit and started to focus my magic, it was an odd sensation, I’d never had an actual, physical focus for my magic before. The feeling was oddly discomforting, it was almost like there was a pressure growing in my forehead region, before it became too intense, I cut off the magical flow and looked around. My newly gained heart sank as I failed to spot the fruits of my labour, only for the aforementioned fruits to announce their presence in a most unpleasant way by introducing me to the concept of real, physical pain in a most unwelcome way. I had conjured the gold I needed, unfortunately, it was about four hooves above my head when it materialised, it may not have been so bad if I had not conjured a bag with it, but as it was, the entire mass ended up resting on top of me rather than scattering. With a slight groan I lazily shrugged the bag off of me and tried to focus on the next piece of magic I had to do.

To avoid boring you with the details of my travails with unicorn magic, although I fear I already have, it will suffice to say that I managed to succeed to a satisfactory degree, before I finally left that alleyway. The bell above the door rung cheerily as I entered the store, it took me a while to adjust to the bright, immaculate interior which differed greatly from the slightly dingy nature of the alleyway outside. The shopkeeper turned to greet me and loudly trilled out a greeting.

“Welcome to Carousel Boutique! Where everything is chic, unique and magnifique!”

I barely even heard it.

I was too busy debating whether screaming and jumping out of the window would be more likely to give me away than staying and letting this mare attempt to fulfil my current requirements. In the end I was forced to recognise the fact that I simply did not have the courage to actually risk myself so blatantly. If the pony staring at me noticed anything odd, she didn’t let it show, fixing me with a dazzling smile that radiated enough happiness that trying to process it would likely have given me diabetes.

“So! I’m Rarity, owner and head designer, what can I do for you?” I breathed in deep through my nostrils before opening my eyes again, trying to avoid cringing at the renewed sight of Rarity, and focussing on what I actually needed to do.

“Well-.” I hesitated when I realised this was the first time I’d actually ever conversed with anypony in the traditional sense, I’ll be honest, for my first proper conversation I wouldn’t have chosen one of the mares that banished me from the world of the living as the best participant for me to be with. Just as quickly, I shoved the thought aside.

“I need something with a hood, something that’ll cover my entire body as best as possible. Something like a cloak.” Rarity’s gaze turned from a questioning one to a more analytical one as she looked me over, I could feel my skin crawling in the areas her gaze covered. There was another side effect of her close scrutiny that I hadn’t anticipated, the illusion spell was strained by being stared at, meaning I had to feed yet more magic into it just to keep its integrity. So much so that I almost missed what she said next.

“Well, darling, that is a bit of an unusual request. I normally deal in dresses and other formal attire, but I also suppose that I am the only one in town who makes made-to-measure clothing. And, no offense, but I can see why you can’t exactly use mass-produced attire.” That pulled my attention away from my mental struggle to maintain my illusion, long enough for me to realise that I was, in fact, about a head taller than Rarity and a good bit longer in the body. I realised, that in my worry about obscuring my wings, I had completely forgotten the stature an alicorn possesses, luckily, Rarity didn’t seem to find it too odd. I reasoned that, as long as I didn’t make a fuss myself, she wouldn’t wonder too much about it, I hoped, at least.

“Er, yes, I was just looking for something inconspicuous.” Rarity gave me an odd look.

“Well, I don’t think a cloak would be the right way to go about it, if I’m honest. That would likely draw more attention than it would deflect. With your manestyle, I’d maybe suggest something like a hooded jumper, maybe in black?” I blinked in surprise, who had thought to attach a hood to a jumper? And how was that less conspicuous than a cloak?

“Um, well, I suppose you’re the fashion designer.” That hurt to say, admitting that this mare knew more than me when it came to my personal attire was not a pleasant experience. It’s not that I’m any kind of fashion expert, but that was uncomfortably close to complimenting her, and frankly, I could barely stand being in her presence.

“Indeed, now, let me get some measurements and I can probably have something whipped up in about an hour.” That was something I really didn’t want to hear, the next ten minutes were spent with Rarity measuring pretty much everything about my front quarters, and me sweating with the relative effort of maintaining my illusion even as she came precariously close to the area where my wings were concealed. Eventually, though, the torment was over, and I was able to go about whatever took my fancy for the next hour while the designer worked. Stepping out of the door allowed my muscles to finally unclench as I was faced with a town full of ponies that I didn’t recognise in any way. It was wonderful, I finally felt relaxed as I took a few steps towards the market, after all, as long as nopony paid too much attention to me, my illusion should be no trouble, and the presence of one of the Elements of Harmony was just a coincidence, right?

I mean, it’s not like I was going to run into the rest of them, was it?

Chapter two: Musicians, first meals and laughter

I’ll admit to being somewhat lost in my thoughts as I walked the streets of Ponyville, I personally think this was entirely justified given my situation. That does not, however, change the fact that being preoccupied did lead directly to an encounter that I would rather have avoided at the time. As I turned down one of the seemingly endless streets of Ponyville I felt an impact on my chest as I walked, and heard a slightly muffled exclamation which was closely followed by a bout of raucous laughter.

“Damn, ‘Tavi! She just totally wrote you off! That was classic!” I looked down to see a grey earth pony mare with a charcoal mane lying at my hooves, whilst I wasn’t entirely sure how exactly one would ‘write off’ a pony, it was clear that my greater size and weight had bowled her clear off her hooves. Feeling oddly self-conscious at the thought of my weight, I reached down one hoof to help this ‘‘Tavi’ up.

“Ummm, are you alright?” I was briefly (and absurdly) worried that an accidental collision would lead to some form of modern witch-hunt, a fear that was even more nonsensical due to the fact that witch-hunts were normally led in pursuit of Zebra witches when they attempted to inflict curses on pony towns, and despite any oddities regarding my newly-gained physical form, I was most certainly not a zebra. Putting all that aside (and briefly making sure that my illusion was still in place), I offered a hoof to the mare and she graciously accepted, thanking me as she got back up with my help.

“I am perfectly alright, thank you.” She gave me a small smile before turning and treating her companion to a mild glare, I too turned to look at her and was more than a little shocked by what I saw. While ‘’Tavi’ had an air of quiet grace and dignity about her, the pony she was accompanying was more akin to a walking explosion, radiating an energy that spoke of little more than mischief and anarchy.

The fact that her hair was streaked different shades of electric blue in contrast to her stark white coat had nothing to do with my judging of her. Honest. And nor did her purple spectacles.

Noticing my inspection of her, she quit laughing and turned to me, offering a hoof.

“Hey there! Names Vinyl Scratch, how about you?” I somewhat hesitantly reached out a hoof towards her, trying desperately to remember exactly how these pony greetings worked. What happened was not what I expected, once my hoof was only halfway to hers she drew it back, much to my confusion before slapping mine away, with a slight yelp I jumped back and had to attempt to deal with my first real experience of actual physical pain in conjunction with the worry that I’d unintentionally done something to give myself away.

“What was that for?” Despite what anypony says, I most definitely did not whine whilst saying that, I did however give the offending mare a slight frown and I must say, feeling part of my body scrunch up in that manner was discomforting. Vinyl Scratch looked at me, confused for a second before chuckling, luckily ‘Tavi chose to speak up at this point.

“Ignore her, that’s just her uncouth manner of greeting new ponies. My name is Octavia Philharmonica. Pleasure to meet you, even if the circumstances were somewhat unusual. Might I ask your name?” It took a moment for her question to register but when it did my entire thought process once again stalled, I was well aware of my wide eyes and flapping jaw and also of the fact that I really needed to find a way to prevent that happening. I was quickly finding that hiding your emotions is much harder  when you have a face, before I came up with anything that would most likely be unbelievable and would serve only to worsen my situation I was mercifully granted a distraction (proving that maybe the entire world didn’t despise me after all).

“Oh! My Cello!” Apparently forgetting all about her query, Octavia turned away from me and took the couple of steps necessary to carry herself over to a large black case lying on the floor, I perked up slightly in interest. Musical instruments had always interested me in a way; music itself had always been one of the few ways to get my (previously metaphorical) heart racing, before I could stop myself, I found myself asking:

“Oh, do you play?”

Octavia turned to me with a slight look of surprise as she hooked the case strap around one hoof, “Why yes, I do, as a matter of fact I’m a member of a small ensemble. We perform at all different kinds of functions, it usually keeps me travelling, but, with a gap in scheduling thanks to some recent events…” I couldn’t help but notice that here she grit her teeth slightly and shot an unexplained glare toward something I could not discern nearer the centre of town.

“Anyway, I decided to take the time to come and visit my friend Vinyl, here. We know each other from university, you see.” She looked slightly embarrassed at this and I could imagine why, I could only imagine the scenario in which a seemingly upper class mare like Octavia might meet a pony like Vinyl Scratch.

“How did you two end up meeting?” I couldn’t help asking, it’s in my nature. I was feeling unduly inquisitive due to the fact that I knew far less than I would like about my own situation; one could say I was trying to ground myself with facts. As it was, I was less than pleased when Vinyl interrupted again.

“We were on the same course! Music theory, obviously!” I could almost feel something in my head break itself trying to rationalise that.

“You’re a musician!?” I turned to her with a frown on my face and disbelief in my eyes and voice. She didn’t fit with any image of a musician I held, I was used to musicians being quiet, reserved, graceful; much like Octavia.

My response earned another guffaw from Vinyl Scratch, “Well, not like ‘Tavi here, I’m a DJ.”

“A what?” Vinyl Scratch’s grin faltered at that, seemingly shocked at the fact that I had no knowledge of her claimed profession.

“You know, a disc jockey, I use record players, mixing boards, speakers. I take good music and make it great!” That last sentence thankfully took my mind away from the image of her mixing trombones and violins together into some kind of horrendous mess.

“So, you’re like a conductor?” Now it was Vinyl’s turn to be confused.

“A what?”  Luckily, Octavia intervened to prevent any more confusion.

“She means someone who helps an orchestra keep time with each other, Vinyl. And no, miss, she is not a conductor, a DJ is one who takes existing pieces of music and intersperses them with each other in order to create a new-sounding piece of music.”

“Sounds… interesting.” I couldn’t deny it, it actually did sound intriguing even as some abstract part of me screamed that it was sacrilege to alter an artist’s vision once they had committed it to be written and released.

With that we descended into idle chatter as the two mares made for their destination, having nothing better to do, I decided that my destination may as well be roughly the same as theirs. It helped that I genuinely did want to learn more about them.

After quite some time spent simply wondering around Ponyville, the question of time popped rather unpleasantly to the forefront of my mind.

“How long has it been since we met in that alleyway?” I received a couple of rather odd looks for my question, but I kept my face straight and eventually Octavia retrieved a small brass pocket watch and spent a brief second looking at it.

“I’d say it’s been about an hour and a quarter, why?”

“I was supposed to pick something up from Carousel Boutique. I don’t suppose you could point me in the right direction, could you?”

“Hey, no worries, we can take you straight there, it’s not far from here!” Vinyl spoke up, whilst slapping my back with a hoof in a way that caused both wings to fan outwards and my illusion spell to be strained, I grunted from both the hit and the extra strain. Octavia gave Vinyl a pointed look while the latter offered me a sheepish grin before they both turned and started guiding me back to the boutique.

“Welcome to Carousel Boutique! Ah, it’s you!” Rarity’s smile was just as brilliant as the last time I saw her, it also made me just as nervous, Octavia and Vinyl had both elected to stay outside, meaning I had no-one to distract from myself.

“Yes, I was just wondering if you had completed my order.”

“Of course, darling, your order was quite a simple one, after all. It does make me wonder, though, if I could expand into the market for more casual wear, it is simpler to create. And more cost-effective.” Well that was great; I’d just given one of my least favourite mares a way to increase her success. Though given that the list of mares I actually knew had all of ten ponies on it the fact that she was one of my least favourite carried less weight than I would have liked it to.

Interrupting my less than charitable thoughts about her, the mare in question (whom I had begun to refer to as number three on my hate list), levitated over a large and baggy black object before pulling it over my head and somehow forcing both of my front hooves through a pair of sleeves. My brief panic was staved off when I realised that she was not in fact shoving a sack over my head, but getting me to try on my new garment.

With it on, I had to admit that it was very comfortable, just loose enough to allow me to move with no restriction, but not so much that I could get tangled up in it. The hood sat neatly at the bottom of my neck; there were even a couple of pockets fitted to the front to keep sundries in. After that, it was the ultimate test, looking intently at my back I slowly released my grasp on the magical energies maintaining my illusion and let it fade as I held my breath.

Thankfully there was no sign of even the tips of my wings protruding from underneath the jumper, I breathed a sigh of relief and turned to Rarity, who was looking at me hopefully. A spiteful, petty part of my mind urged me to tell her she had erred in her work, I ignored this urge for two reasons, the first being that Rarity struck me as the kind of mare who would either take offense or start working her hooves off to fix the mistake, neither of which I wanted to deal with. The second was that not even I felt capable of shattering that hopeful look; all she wanted was for me to like what she’d made.

“It’s… perfect, this is exactly what I was looking for.” Those words burned slightly on their way out and I was unable to look at the mare I was addressing as I said them, but I did mean them.

Apparently this was enough for Rarity as she let out a short squeal and pranced a little in place at the praise.

“How much do I owe you?” I wanted to get out of that place as quickly as possible before the bile rising in my throat made me say something that would cause me trouble later.

“Oh, it’s on the house, darling!”

“I can’t-“

“Don’t worry about it, I buy cloth in bulk. What I used to create that cost less than a bit.”

“What about your time? You spent nearly an hour on this.”

“It was a slow day, I have no projects at the moment, and it was nice to have something to do.”

“But-“ It was at this point that I realised I was simply looking for a way to use the bits I had conjured, Rarity’s refusal to accept them actually neatly alleviated one of my problems, at least I no longer had to break the law, “Fine.”

Rarity gave me a winning grin shortly before I beat a hasty retreat, nine tenths of out speaking your opponent is about having either something they wanted or having more information than they did, preferably both and fortunately for me at the time, Rarity did have both.

Both Octavia and Vinyl were both in discussion when I exited the store, disregarding them for the moment, I turned my focus to the bag of bits I had conjured. I could still feel the subtle pull on my magic reserves, though it was nowhere near what it would normally be, with a sigh I dispelled the energy keeping the money in this plane of existence.

Unfortunately, I forgot I currently had a physical form and the resulting outrush of energy blew my mane about wildly, it was lucky I hadn’t conjured a larger mass otherwise that could have been potentially harmful as it was it was only fairly loud. Unfortunately it was loud enough to gain the attention of at least the two ponies closest to me, Vinyl and Octavia turned to me with surprised looks.

“What the hay was that?” Vinyl Scratch, unsurprisingly. With no better response, it was all I could do to shrug helplessly.

For some reason they both took that at face value and promptly seemed to forget all about the rather large noise before Vinyl continued speaking.

“We were just about to go get some lunch. Nice hoodie by the way. We were wondering if you fancied joining us seeing as you seem pretty nice.” It took me a moment to recognise her compliment of Rarity’s work, I was a little annoyed by the fact that this meant that Rarity had been right about the ‘hoody’, but I brushed it off in favour of contemplating the bigger issue; they had just invited me to partake in a meal with them.

From what I knew of pony culture, an invitation to a meal was a courtesy, and it could be seen as somewhat insulting to decline. That didn’t change the fact that I really didn’t want to push my luck, talking and walking with these mares was one thing, it was entirely another to partake in a meal. I had no idea how I was supposed to explain that I didn’t know how to eat.

“Thank you very much for the offer, but I, uh-.“ Then it hit me, I’d just given myself the perfect excuse! “I have no money on me.” I offered what I hoped was a sheepish grin but I fear some of my pride in my quick answer might have shown through. I maintain my assertion that faces make things more complicated.

Octavia waved a hoof dismissively “Oh, don’t worry about it! We were hardly going to go anywhere fancy. I’m sure we’ll be able to cover you between us.”

“You don’t have to do that! I’m sure-.” I was interrupted by a loud rumble that I could feel reverberate throughout my body. “What was that?”

Octavia chuckled at my (presumably puzzled) expression “I daresay that was your body telling you to stop arguing with us and come get something to eat.”

I couldn’t deny that I would need to figure out how to eat at some point I had, however, hoped that I would be able to do so in private. As far as I had experienced, eating was a fairly messy process, and I didn’t want to find out how much messier it would be if the pony eating didn’t know how to do it. With a sigh of defeat I agreed to go with them.

A short while later I found myself sat on a pile of hay at a table outside a small café near the centre of Ponyville staring at a daffodil sandwich (I had chosen the cheapest thing on the menu), I cautiously glanced at Vinyl and Octavia, both were busy with their food so I decided to attempt eating while they were both preoccupied.

I started by levitating the sandwich up to my face and opened my mouth before imitating the motion I’d observed earlier utilised by the other two ponies at the table and took a small bite, I knew about the risks of choking, after all. I’d achieved my first objective of actually getting the food inside my body, but now what? Being as discreet as possible, I snuck a look at Octavia and noticed the up and down motion of her jaw, even though she wasn’t talking.

Copying her, I could feel the morsel in my mouth being crushed in between my teeth as they moved this also had the unintended side effect of releasing the flavour in the sandwich into my mouth, I didn’t know how to describe it then and I still don’t really know how to, but the sensation of taste was utterly foreign to me, yet incredibly satisfying. After having chewed for a while, I swallowed on some subconscious instinct and the food was gone! I’m aware that this is something entirely mundane and ordinary for most ponies but it’s hard to put into words how utterly foreign the entire process felt to me.

As quickly as the first bite was gone, the entire motion of eating seemed to start running on instinct and the food disappeared fairly quickly after that, I actually ended up finishing before the other two. When Octavia pointed this out, Vinyl muttered something about how I had an unfair advantage because of my ‘big, stupid mouth’. I had no idea how to respond to that.

So I laughed, for the first time ever.

Chapter three: Rejected offers, old memories and zebras

After my chuckles died down we were left in a silence that was not entirely uncomfortable. I, for one, felt no need to break it as I idly looked around, though Octavia apparently did.

“So… do you think you could tell us why you decided to come to Ponyville?”

“Well, I didn’t really make any decision to come here, I just sort of… did.” I was well aware of how lame an excuse that was, but the two ponies at the table with me once again accepted it without question. I was starting to question their mental faculties, if I’m honest.

Apparently one question was enough to spark a form of friendly inquisition, much to my chagrin, as it was Vinyl Scratch who piped up next.

“So, what’s your job then?”

Masterminding plots, scaring ponies, destabilising countries… Not the greatest resumé.

“I don’t actually have one.”

Octavia looked at me with a slight amount of alarm showing through “Then how do you get by?”

“Well… you know…” By not needing anything that I might have to spend money on, at least, that was before recent events. “I just sort of go from day to day.”

Even as I said that I felt a little pang of annoyance from deep within myself, I like to consider myself meticulous when it comes to planning. Even if my day plan for quite some time had been ‘wake up, look at burning rocks, avoid hellhounds, go back to sleep’.

A slightly calculating look accompanied Octavia’s next question “So, where do you live, then?”

Something told me that answering that was a bad idea, but outright lying would have been even worse. She was onto something, how accurate her guess was I didn’t know at the time, but she was clearly working towards something.

“I don’t really have a set home, per se, like I said I just sort of wander around.”

“So where are you staying tonight?”

I was now starting to panic slightly, and I could begin to feel liquid run down my face, I glanced upward slightly to check if it was raining. Oh, I’m sweating, that’s inconvenient.

“W-well, I didn’t really have any plans as of yet… I mean I’m sure I can come up with something, I just need a moment to-.”

Octavia cut me off at this point, pushing herself away from the table with a decisive air “That’s it! You’re staying with us, at least for tonight. Right, Vinyl?”

Much to my horror, Vinyl grinned and nodded enthusiastically “Yeah, sounds like the mare could use somewhere to stay.”

“No!” Vinyl’s grin disappeared and Octavia looked at me questioningly “Thank you very much for the offer.” I said through a forced grin, I’m almost certain my face was in a rictus “But I’m absolutely fine, I assure you, I don’t need the help, the meal was much appreciated, but you don’t need to worry about me.”

“But-.”

“I said I could sort something out, and I will.” I wasn’t sure how, but I had no desire to spend much more time around these mares, my own curiosity and a previously non-existent need for food had driven me to stay with them for quite some time, but I knew that the longer I stayed the more likely it became that I would do something to give myself away in some fashion.

The two mares before me shared a glance before opening their mouths to speak, but now I had momentum and I wasn’t willing to let them argue their case, undemocratic maybe, but I felt it necessary.

“I can handle myself perfectly well.” I was well aware I was effectively making the same point over and over again, but I felt the need to hammer it home, as colloquial a phrase as that was. The atmosphere around the table had become decidedly uncomfortable and so I decided to make good with my retreat.

“I will be on my way then, good day.” I slid out from the table and walked off in a direction that just so happened to take my fancy, fortunately, neither mare saw fit to follow me.

I had only been walking for a short time when a voice that somehow managed to sound pink (don’t ask me how) stopped me in my tracks.

“I found you!” I must have jumped nearly four times my own body height into the air, I think this was perfectly justified given that the voice emanated from a point less than an inch from my own ear.

The proclamation of discovery was followed by a bout of giggles as I turned on shaky legs towards whoever had addressed me, and my legs nearly fell out from beneath me completely when I recognised the pony that had managed to sneak up behind me. Bouncing up and down before me was none other than the Element of Laughter herself.

“I’ve been looking for you all day! My Pinkie sense woke me up this morning, telling me there was a new pony in town, in fact, it told me that there was a new new pony in town, so I checked with the hospital after breakfast to see if there were any new foals, just ‘cause I wanted to see them, because they’re sooooo cute! You can’t really throw a party for a foal that young, though, they don’t like it. Anyhoo, when I went there, they told me there were no new foals, in fact there weren’t even any pregnant mares, so I decided to take a look around town asking after the new new pony and after walking around all morning, I found Vinyl and Octavia leaving the café so I decided to ask them, and they told me they’d seen the new new pony, though they looked a little confused when I said ‘new new’. Then they pointed me in the direction they said you’d left, and I went that way, and now I’ve found you!”

Despite having followed only around 40% of what was just said, the triumphant smile and the phrase ‘I found you’ along with the assertion that this mare could sense me were all I really needed to see or hear, what I would guess are pegasus instincts encouraged me to take to the air, another part of me wanted to kick her in the face, a third told me to fling her as far as I could with my magic and my original instincts were screaming at me to vanish into the shadows and get the hell out of there.

Flying was ruled out due to the ‘hoody’ I was wearing; my second and third options were ruled out by the fact that we were still in a very public place and my normal default action was out of the question as it would mean revealing myself completely to someone who doubtless had a direct line to Princess Celestia. So I decided on a much less complicated course of action.

It’s called running for your life.

I ran in pretty much a straight line out of town until I found myself in the leafy folds of the Everfree Forest, the Element of Laughter didn’t make my escape easy, she kept popping up at the most inopportune moments. If she couldn’t teleport, I swore to myself that I’d eat my left wing.

Luckily, even she didn’t seem willing to follow me into the Everfree it was, after all, a place of ill repute. I decided to follow the one path I knew through the forest, as I did so I allowed my mind to wander slightly in order to attempt to make plans. It seemed my best option would be to wait until nightfall just inside the Everfree’s border as that was when it actually became dangerous before I made my way back into Ponyville and then take the signposted route to the nearest city that wasn’t Canterlot, I could then hide out there until I figured out what to do without the pressure of having my most recent set of enemies anywhere near me.

I hoped.

I had no conclusive evidence to say that they would all be there, but now it just seemed fitting that they would be grouped together, I cursed myself for not thinking of it sooner when I ran into Rarity.

In less time than you would imagine, I found myself at the Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters or whatever it was called, by the time I reached it it was late afternoon, with the Sun more than halfway through its descent towards the horizon. The air was starting to become a little chill and the wind in this area was picking up.

I couldn’t help but feel a little nostalgic; I remembered the moonlit night on which I had met Luna. I remembered the day we saw the ponies celebrate the day, and the moment when a foal asked why there even needed to be a night.

I remembered how Celestia failed to defend her sister; I remembered how she failed her, as she failed so many others. Something sharp poked to the forefront of my mind, it was a memory, though I couldn’t tell which one distinctly I suddenly found myself crying.

I know about crying, in fact, I know a lot about grief in general, I experienced Luna’s in full when on the Moon, over my lifespan, I have seen many ponies and griffins and even changelings cry on top of several other types of creatures.

I never expected to find myself crying, not for something that happened over a thousand years ago, not for some memory I couldn’t even divine, hidden by the shrouds of time as it was, and I certainly never thought I would cry for Luna. She already had more than enough tears in her life.

I suddenly felt movement behind me (oh, how I miss having a 360 degree view of the world) and whirled around, lashing out with a hoof which connected solidly with the startled face of a zebra who tumbled a good distance, clearly dazed. Shocked out of my reverie, I started after her, an unconscious snarl on my face.

“Hold, friend. Stay your hoof, I seek not your end, but to offer you a place beneath my roof!” Her odd method of speech was enough to dispel most of my anger, the fact I could detect no dishonesty in her tone helped as well. The final nail in the coffin of my rage was the blanket that was nearby, from the position of it; it seemed that this zebra had been attempting to drape it over my shoulders.

Feeling abashed, I lowered the hoof that had been raised to take my next step. Violence is by no means my usual first resort; a swift escape is normally my main objective when I’m certain someone means me harm.

“Apologies.” I said a little stiffly “But the Everfree Forest is not a pleasant place to be surprised.” I offered my hoof to help the zebra get to her own.

She offered me a slight smile “On that we can agree, it most certainly is not, I must also offer an apology, now might I suggest we head somewhere more hot?”

“You mean your home?” I don’t know why I felt the need to clarify, but some ridiculous thought told me that the pits of Tartarus were hotter than where we currently were. My musings had advanced the clock to a point where the Sun was no longer visible and I cursed myself slightly, as blasé as I could be about the Everfree in the day, I had no desire to traverse it alone at night. Eventually I judged the risk of staying with her was far outweighed by the risk of wandering through the Everfree and then sneaking through a town at night.

The zebra nodded with a warm smile and I let out an unconscious breath through my nose.

“So, what’s your name?” I almost immediately cursed my own curiosity.

“My name is Zecora, the local expert on flora and fauna. Might I ask yours, if it is not too course?”

Just as I was gearing up for some kind of fantastical excuse a name just seemed to emerge from the maelstrom of my thoughts.

“I am Mendax.” Zecora looked at me oddly for a moment before shaking it off as I glanced at her, worried.

“An old word, one not often heard. It means both liar and storyteller. As it is your moniker, pray tell, to which do you refer?” For some reason, I smiled.

“If I said storyteller, do you not think I could be lying?”

“If you were, it would be a sad thing indeed, for to me you seem honest in both spirit and deed.” I shot a slightly alarmed look at Zecora; I never thought I’d be described that way, and in rhyme, no less!

As it turned out, it was only a short way to Zecora’s home, it being situated only about halfway from the edge of the forest to the castle where we met. Even with the masks leering down from the walls her hut was warm and comforting with several comfortable seats situated around a fire with a large cauldron sat atop it. Aside from the various shelves full of books and ingredients the only other furniture was two beds built into the walls. We briefly partook in a small bowl of some herbal broth before Zecora suggested we both turned in for the night, but not before she attempted to sate her curiosity.

“If you could, would you tell me, what was that song, out in the Everfree?” I blinked in confusion.

“What song are you talking about?”

“The one that drew me to you, its sadness, to me, ran right through.”

“I assure you, I wasn’t singing any sort of song. I don’t know any, for a start.”

Zecora seemed to accept this and I was allowed to get into the bed, the zebra gave me a glance when I didn’t take my hoodie off but I was able to drift off eventually.