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“A Gratuitous Amounts Of A Famous Italian Dish”
-=Pulse=-
A My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic Tale
-=Part One: “A Gratuitous Amounts Of A Famous Italian Dish”
A pony started to move through the dusty library of one of the oldest libraries known in Equestria. Her hooves making light marks in the dust that had settled on the floor. The occupant of the castle had been away for quite some time, apparently for almost a hundred years. She walked over a red carpet, old and dusty with a stylized “V” over the centre of it. Star Sign coughed from the dust and the cold as she walked around an old pile of books and papers.
She tossed her medium-length light blue mane over her eyes as she walked over to the far-side of the room, levitating a small light around her horn to aid her in her search. Her magenta eyes moved about as the light reflected off her off-white body and her cutie mark, a bright star with a set of scales on it. She didn't believe in the ghost stories that other ponies told her about, Keeper wasn't here and he didn't set spirits to guard the place.
Star Sign was on a mission, Canterlot Castle had been covered in a strange cloud of black gas that choked you if you attempted to walk into it. The princesses were both trapped with all of the residents within and they were using a magical shield to keep the gas from overcoming the population. An old purple dragon named Spike arrived in Ponyville two days ago with a message from Princess Celestia asking for her student to go to Keeper's Castle to look for Keeper himself.
Princess Celestia gave her instructions specifically asking her to read through his journals to find out if anything he knew from his past could help out with the disaster that was befouling Canterlot, or if there was any clues as to where Keeper had gone to. Keeper mysteriously disappeared about a century ago, leaving his castle behind. Ponies claimed there were ghosts, Star Sign didn't listen to them. She was under orders to go to the castle, evil spirits or not. Granted it was an emergency situation, however the letter did state that time was on their side for now. Evidently the gas didn't float elsewhere, as if it only wanted to do... something to Canterlot.
She passed a few paintings that had bee placed between the massive shelving of the castle's den, There were quite a few ponies up on the walls that she recognized. There was her idol: Twilight Sparkle, one of the best minds of Equestria and one of the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony. She also saw Rainbow Dash, Head Captain of the Wonderbolts from almost a century ago, all dressed up and immortalized in paint. There were other ponies as well such as the musical-hit pony Vinyl Scratch alongside her companion Octavia. There was a painting of Princess Luna as well, uncharacteristically winking at whoever pained the image. She also noticed an artist's rendering of Discord, and she had absolutely no idea why Keeper would ever want to have the Draconequus on his wall. There were others too, but they were distracting her from her search.
Then she found them. Ancient journals of the great and mysterious human Keeper. One of the very reasons why he was even named Keeper was because he kept secret knowledge from everyone from an alien place. He once said that “Knowledge isn't something that one can force upon, or be forced to reveal. It must be obtained through an individual's will and desire to learn.”
He apparently said stuff like that to keep ponies confused, however it certainly was a nice change from the riddle of the Zebras.
She levitated one of the tomes from the shelf, bound in leather from some beast she didn't want to know about. She dragged it over to a table that was a bit too high for her and set it down. She then dragged over an old chair that was also built differently, certainly not for a pony like herself. She found it comfortable as she moved the chair closer to the table, making a very loud noise that reverberated throughout the halls. Dust fell around her and she sneezed, which also echoed loudly through the dark abandoned castle.
Placing her pack on the ground, she arranged neat piles for her notes, food and some other supplies. She packed enough to last her about four days, though she didn't think she needed that much time. Quite frankly the entire Magical Academy was focused on the properties of the strange cloud that was threatening Canterlot. She was confident that the problem would be solved eventually and that Keeper wasn't needed.
Lighting a few candles nearby, she turned off her magic and opened the book. Careful not to tear out any of the old pages, she delved into knowledge that very few ponies were able to know. She didn't know what she was going to find, but she hoped to know what happened to Keeper.
Some ponies ask me what I felt before I first entered Equestria. The answer I give them is “nothing”. A griffon once asked me what was the first thing I heard before I appeared in Equestria. The answer I gave her was “a scream followed by shattering glass”. A dragon once asked me what I thought before I fell into Equestria. I told him “I thought I was dead”.
However an Alicorn once asked me what I had felt when I did come into Equestria. I told her “I felt the grass upon my face, I felt the wind in the air and I felt the warm touch of the sun hovering over me”.
My name is Damien, I am known as Keeper thanks to the wonderful ponies that I have had the honour of being with. I have been living in Equestria for longer than I remember.
I am also the first and only human.
This is my journey.
~Keeper~
Star Sign found a small note in the pages of the book. “Get Twilight or someone to proof-read this. It might have to be re-written or something, I don't know if the grammar or spelling is right or not. It's been a long time since I have written anything, especially something of this magnitude. Also, buy a cake from Pinkie Pie, it's Tuesday and I want a fucking cake. ”
“Well,” she thought “here goes nothing.”
I am not going to tell you an angst-filled story about how I was never loved and how I was some kind of basement-dwelling outcast who never fit in. I'm not going to tell you a story on how I found my true love and how I felt so complete and how our love bonded the Elements or some weird bullshit that makes fangirls cry. No, there are plenty of stories like that around. Heck I even got a few in my library that an anonymous pegasus wrote when he was young; talented author though when he really got into it, but that is something else to talk about.
I am Damien, I really don't care for my last name, and therefore it won't be said. Now as for what I was doing in Equestria or how I even got there, even I don't know exactly for sure. When I got here, I was twenty-five years old.
However my tale doesn't start in Equestria, it starts in Vancouver, Canada. This starts in a completely different world on a planet known as “Earth”.
I was an above-average guy really. I had decent looks, smart as hell, pretty popular with friends and not many problems in life. Sex life was pretty decent whenever I decided to spend some more money and go to bars. Work was never a problem, I was a jack-of-all-trades; a gifted student. I was someone of whom my parents wouldn't be worried about, that is if I actually put my time and effort into anything. I was your average man of great intellect: amazing potential, no drive.
So here I was waking up at noon after a long night of heavy gaming and almost equally heavy drinking. It was fun and all, but the hangovers were always killer. I checked my Blackberry and noticed I still had time left before I had to get up to go to wo-... oh no work today. Even though the sweet seduction of more sleep always tempted me, I decided against smelling like an old gym sock dipped in stale beer and regret.
Mumbling some curses and blinking through the light I managed to stumble into the shower. Taking in the hot water I retched and coughed my sleepiness away. My headache wasn't to bad this time and for a brief moment I thought to myself that I must have been getting used to it. I ran my hands through my dirty blonde hair and laughed. I was stagnating and I knew it. Nothing was going to kick me out of my routine though, I was a set as a stripped screw in a wall. The only thing that would be different would be a new job and even then I was too lazy to make a resume.
Drying off, I put some socks and jeans on and moved to the fridge shirtless. I rubbed my arm as I walked through my apartment, kneading my tattoo and sighing. Veni Vidi Vici ; I came, I saw, I conquered. That was tattooed under the Assassin's V-crest from Assassin's Creed five years ago when I still liked philosophy. Oh what a full-time job and rent will do to a man.
I knew I was placing all the walls in my way, I just didn't care; what was there much to do apart from work until retirement? I didn't lose the spark for life, I just lost the admiration for that old flame. Maybe I was kidding myself, and the flame was long gone out and I was holding embers. Either way, I was in a repeating loop of work, sleep, eat, game, hopefully fuck, sleep and so on and so fourth. I never really had anything special pop up. Seriously, it was three years since I moved from London, Ontario to Vancouver and I couldn't remember much of what I have done. That was even including two relationships, five jobs and a lot of gaming.
Well, now that I am thinking of it, should I do something today?
Fine, I'll make a half-attempt at being productive on my day off. I took a semi-clean white t-shirt from the floor and tossed that on, followed by my U.S. Air Force desert camouflage jacket my friends picked up for me on my birthday. Wallet in my pocket, Blackberry in the other, headphones on my neck and I was ready.
I was also craving tacos, to the bigger mall it was.
Waiting in line for the bus wasn't too bad, my Blackberry was loaded with music. I hadn't deleted my music collection in over 7 years, and I had way too many songs to listen to and a great SD card to carry all of it. Soon enough the bus stopped in front of me and I stepped on, not even looking at my driver as I flashed him or her or whoever my bus pass.
Luckily the bus was nearly empty and I quickly moved to the back. Looks like today was looking up. I loaded up my browser and quickly went to YouTube, searching for “MLP, Season 2 finale ”. Yes, I was going to watch My Little Pony on the bus. It was one of my dirty little secrets that I really never let anybody know about, I really enjoyed that show.
I also spent too much time thinking whenever I had time to myself. My imagination always ran off the charts and it caused a lot of hours being drained away into day-dreaming. For the past while I was in Tamriel whenever I had a minute to myself, which was a lot. Other times it is the Wasteland of Fallout or riding a horse in Hyrule. Now it was turning to Equestria since I was getting into MLP, and it was quite a nice change. I would think of concerts and me scratching up records with Vinyl Scratch herself, and I always had a Deadmau5 head when I did so. I would think of running separate of the royal guard and being a deniable asset to Celestia, though I think swordplay from Skyrim was tweaking that little fantasy. I also thought of just chilling in Pinkie's cake shop whose name I forget and simply relaxing and enjoying my day.
As the opening scene was playing I was checking my phone. Headphones were connected, volume turned down lower and finally check to see if anybody was beside me again... and I was clear. The theme song went through my head as I rode the bus to the same mall I worked at. Coincidentally, my ride was just a little bit longer than an episode, so I had that routine down.
The bus ride so far was uneventful to say the least. A few times I adjusted my hold on the screen to make sure that anyone who sat near me couldn't see I was watching a girl's show. I think a few of them thought I might have been watching porn, and thinking about it I don't know which would have been more awkward. I certainly didn't need gratuitous amounts of a famous Italian dish all over the bus.
Soon enough we were going over the Lion's Gate Bridge, spanning over a massive river that separated the core of Vancouver from it's North and West cousins. The episode was getting close to the end too, and Twilight just got Cadence back to the palace for the wedding. Thinking back on it, I might have been perfectly content at that moment. Everything was right in the world and I was happy. I was watching Twilight and her best friends do their thing and I was going to get a six-taco platter from the Taco joint near my work and I was going to pig out for once. Heck, I was feeling good enough to put on something nice and try to score later on that night.
Then there was a scream.
It was a scream ripped right out of hell that I could clearly hear through my headphones. The screeching tires hit that note that seemed to get right into your skull. Time slowed to an almost stand-still as an impact shook the bus and I was sent forward. Pain was sent right through my shoulder as I rolled into the seat across from me. There was another jarring shock along with crunching of metal as I slid forward. I saw a woman crack her head off of one of the hand-holds, blood splattering across the window as we tipped forwards. My head slammed on the floor as the bus lurched forward, blackening my vision.
All that I could feel was a sense of weightlessness, as if I was in zero gravity. I hit the ceiling of the bus and my headphones fell off my neck. My phone flew in front of my face as I saw Shining Armour and Cadence's horns touch. It was charming until I saw the river behind my phone and realized I was going to hit the water. There was a solid three seconds of chaotic sounds before the bus' front hit the salt-filled waters.
My body flew forward, my head hit one of the hand-hold bars and I fell into the black.
Faint sounds. Birds even. No water. Pain in my head. Wake up. You should wake up. Fuck. Why do I feel so groggy? It felt like my mind was in a fog, like I had to...
Wake up!
The first thing I felt was the sun beating down on my face. Thankfully it didn't seem too hot or humid, life in Ontario had me almost fearing summer. Summer? Wait, that didn't make any sense, it was November. My eyes reluctantly opened and I blinked rapidly to get used to the light. It was sunny alright, which was weird. The sky was cloudless and blue, but it seemed off. Like that colours were slightly wrong.
I struggled to get my arm in front of my face, and at the same time I tried to move the rest of my body. My left leg felt like it had been chopped off, and that sent fear and panic through me as much as the searing pain. I sat up as quick as I could and for a moment, my brain actually fried.
My leg looked like it was drawn from a cartoon, as if someone had used a computer to make me. So was the rest of my body by the looks of it. My head swam as my vision started to fade. My leg. It was broken and twisted at a bizarre angle.
I threw up some salt water to the side and started to black out. Before I lost all my vision, I saw a brief shimmer of the aftermath of an explosion.
Star Sign couldn't believe what she was reading, Keeper really did come from a different planet! Keeper was known for... well keeping things to himself and nopony knew if he was lying or not on where he really was from. Perfect example of him lying about things was simply his name: Damien. Why would he switch his name like that upon entering Equestria? It wasn't like Griffons had names like ponies, same with Zebras.
Plus what the hay was a berry doing telling the time? What was a “bus”, SD cards and tacos? It was somewhat confusing, but as he candle flickered she snapped out of her thoughts. She could think of all of this tomorrow, when she could really buckle down and do some reading. If anything, she was even more interested in who Keeper was and what he was doing in Equestria. She decided to keep on calling him Keeper, everyone else did.
She noticed night was coming and looked around to see if she could put any wood in the fireplace. She hopped off the strange chair and used her magic to see around the room. A little bit beside the fireplace there was a pile of wood logs. She inspected them closer to see if she could burn it without them falling apart from rot.
Lifting one with magic, she was surprised to find that it looked as if it was broken off a branch not too long ago. The top and bottom of the logs were broken as if by force and not the blows of an axe. They were also lightly covered in thick cobwebs, but that was probably from the length of time they were here. She looked around the room and noticed that there was a distinct lack of spiderwebs elsewhere, so why where these webbed? She was close to the Everfree forest, but most giant spiders stayed deep in the dark depths.
Thinking that she was putting too much into this, she tossed a few logs into the fireplace. Using the candle, she pushed her magic to amplify the flame's heat, and soon enough the fire was lit, burning the cobwebs away from the logs almost instantly. Relaxing in the heat, she brought the comfy human chair over and laid down on it, falling fast asleep in the fire's soft light.
-=Pulse=-
A My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic Tale
-=Part 2: *“Don't Call me Shirley” *
Star Sign yawned as she woke up, the sun's rays barely leaking into the library yet still managed to hit her smack dab in the eyes. She scratched her face with her hooves as she tried to wipe the sleepiness away. Stretching her legs she hopped off the chair and decided that this would be a perfectly good time to check out the castle she was in.
Most of the masonry outside was built into the rock itself, while the rest of the castle was carved out as it was built. She wondered why Keeper decided to have that instead of Canterlot's castle which was more out in the open.
As she munched on an apple she thought back on what Keeper had written down. Buses, shows and other stuff just didn't make sense and didn't warrant any thought on. Thinking of what a bus could be was like making up a word and telling someone else to find the definition only you would understand. One thing that did stand out to her was the Royal Wedding between Shining Armor and Cadence. A lot of powerful magics were at play that day and that could have pulled him into Equestria; however magic was fickle and it could simply be because it was a certain time and a butterfly crossed a flower when the wind was in a certain direction.
Keeper's Castle was simple in its design, but being enclosed caused most of the rooms to remain dark and foreboding. Star Sign shook her head in an attempt to get some of her fear out of the way before casting a small amount of light with her horn. This was an old abandoned castle and who knows what could have taken residence in the long years. However since she slept in it and wasn't eaten, she was thinking it was more on the abandoned uninhabited side.
Remembering that she forgot the journal she trotted back to the library and slung on her pack, slipping the journal inside. Walking a bit further away from the library, she noticed a dark blue gemstone that was set into the wall. She reached out with her magic and could tell that the stone was magically made, but not a lot of magic was put inside. She looked around and found a small stick in the hall and poked the gem with it thinking it was a better idea than to touch it with her hooves.
The gem slowly started to glow a light blue hue almost instantly when she touched it. Star Sign quickly brought up a small magical shield in order to defend herself from any incoming attacks that the gem could possibly unleash. Instead it just glowed the soft blue glow that illuminated a small section of the hallway. She noticed a second gem lighting up, then a third, then more as the hallway illuminated with a soft blue light and revealing a set of stairs.
Sighing in relief that she wasn't assaulted by shards of glassy minerals, she let down her shield and proceeded up the staircase. Trotting up at a decent pace she couldn't help but feel almost claustrophobic with no windows to look out of. Reaching up to the top she was on a small landing that had three different stairs that had a shaft of light shining on a floor with random designs. Looking back where she came she noticed the top light gem was a slightly different shade than the rest. Poking at it with a hoof caused it to go off, followed by the rest of the stones of light.
Deciding to take the left flight she tapped the base crystal, admiring the gentle light that was shining off the gems as she ascended. Climbing a short way she came up an open door that lead to a study. With the soft light from the door she was able to spot a candle. Igniting it, she used the light to spot more candles in the dark room and soon enough she could see clearly.
It was certainly smaller than the library that she was reading in earlier, and it smelled of old paper, ink and a bit of rot. A sudden realization sparked within her; it was here that Keeper must have authored his books! With even more fascination she searched the room. There were a few bookshelves on one wall that was jammed with stuff. Quite a few were sketching books, but almost all of them had 'Keeper' on them.
Pulling some of the books from the wall she read the titles, one shelf in particular that was dedicated to 'In Case'. 'In Case if Zebras are Forcing War' had some notes on a pony named “Goldenblood” as well as how to avoid world war with the Zebra race. 'In Case of Ponies Travelling to Other Dimensions' had chapters on some human girls called “Powerpuff” as well as Rainbow Dash being a filly and appearing in a box for some reason. 'In Case of Earth Portal' had a huge chapter on making sure that absolutely no pony ever attempts to make contact with humans 'no matter what'. All of them seemed to be well thought out, even if they did seem outlandish.
She though long and hard on that one, what could Earth have the could affect ponies in such a way? Was it to do with Buses? She had no idea, buses seemed to be deadly though. She noticed there was a space in the books in that series that was missing. She giggled as she bet herself that it was 'In Case of Keeper's Disappearance” or something similar.
Opening the only book she had on Keeper himself, she continued to read his diary; this time in Keeper's study.
I never liked hospitals. I hated the lighting, the food was terrible, the shitty interior paint job, the food was abysmal, the smells, the food being inedible and most importantly: I knew the doctors couldn't afford to care. Even as a Canadian with pretty good medical care I avoided that place at all costs. Plus I never knew how bad waiting times were for Americans, but we certainly had to wait a long time to get care.
Plus the food sucked.
So imagine how fucking thrilled I was to find out I was waking up in the place I hated the most. At first I was mostly confused as if my broken leg was all a dream; however everything still had the weird colouring and shading as if it was Flash-made on a computer. I kept myself from sitting up just so I didn't throw up whatever was left in my stomach. I hovered my arm above my head to block out some of the lighting and stared at my hand.
Have you ever had to write a single word down multiple times to the point where the word doesn't really seem like it is supposed to exist? Wondering if those combinations of letters really made up the sounds that symbolized and represented an actual thing? That's the sensation I was having with my hand except more intense. My fingers moved to my own mental commands like normal but everything just seemed wrong. My scar on my left wrist from when I fell through a glass table when I was young was still there, and it seemed to stand out in colour a lot more than it used to. I also seemed to not have any hair on my arm.
I had to stop staring at my arm, time to stare at everything else.
After I tried my best to get used to it I sat up and examined my room. It was actually nicer than I originally thought, though it still was a hospital room and I would always hold that against it. The walls were an off-blue and the air didn't smell a lot like disinfectant. Taking this time I decided to try and look at my leg before I moved it. I didn't feel any pain now per-say, but the last thing I needed to do was much up whatever happened to it. I was in a hospital, so I assumed something did happen to it and I hoped it was for the better.
Looking down on my blanket I noticed that my bed looked like it had been extended a bit. It just seemed off from that a bed's proportions were supposed to be. I picked up the blanket and noticed I was only in my shirt and green boxers. Second thing I noticed was that my left leg was completely healed up, and only had light bandages on my shin.
That there was really messed up, because I clearly remember it being bent on a ninety degree angle from my body on my shin. I tried moving it, and apart from the muscles feeling a tad bit sore, I felt as if I could actually walk on it. I felt quite a bit better about my situation before thinking up of something else to derive details from on where I was.
It was at that time I noticed the paintings on the wall. What was flooring me was that apart from the brilliant cross-hatch design in the frame, the painting was of a pony. A very special pony to be exact, and it made me think I might have been in the kid' wing. Princess Celestia's smiling face was drawn quite well on paper that was slowly yellowing from age. I looked at the two other frames, one being a pointillism painting of a purple pony with a white mane and the other being a 'normal' painting of a few fillies playing in a rolling hill landscape.
It was at this point in time that I had actually considered questioning my sanity and wondered if I had some strange hallucinating day-dream like Deadpool or something. Okay, I was in a hospital, with paintings of ponies with my legs healed as if by magic. It was then that I noticed motion in the little window that was on my door. I couldn't make out who or what it was, so I did what came naturally to someone in a strange situation.
“Who are you? Who is there? Where am I?” I yelled out after it, okay, probably not the most convincing argument to the 'running away' response.
A few moments later I heard a few faint words and bits of a conversation that was getting very close to my door.
“..not even a pony... could be danger-... I know... could be.... that changeling...” came the first voice, male and deep voiced.
“As far... I am still... charge here... loyal to... stop questioning my judgement today! We are safe and everypony else is too!” at this point an older feminine voice was speaking and just outside my door. “We have everything under control with the rest of the Royal Guard. If this creature is hostile we will deal with it, but considering what happened we need to keep our heads cool and minds open about the magic that has transpired here today. Besides, there are much more cunning disguises than a strange creature that nopony has seen before.”
“Yes your royal highness, I apologize.”
“Good, now stand guard while I talk to the creature.” said the female as the door slowly swung open.
“As you wish your highness.”
A unicorn walked through my door, and she was simply stunning. Not so much as 'she was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen' kind of stunning but more of the 'holy fucking shit a goddamn unicorn with wings is right in front of me' kind of stunning. She was pure white except for her mane, and tail, that moved strangely as if a blue sky and a sunset decided to flow from her.
Sweet Lucifer, I was looking at Princess Celestia.
“Um... hello.” was pretty much the only thing I could say as my brain tried desperately to get control of the situation.
“Greetings to you as well, how does your leg fair?” she asked as she sat down.
Celestia spoke with a professional demeanour and I quickly responded, “Considering the last fifteen minutes of consciousness was extremely erratic and painful, I'm actually doing quite fine. How did you fix my leg?”
Celestia chuckled slightly. “I can not take all the credit, it was a unicorn named Redheart. She has a special talent in the way of fixing bones. Even my power is limited in some regard.”
“Ah, well can I give her my thanks?” I really did want to thank the nurse pony, I really enjoyed my leg not looking like it was put on wrong.
She looked to the side. “Well she was all right with tending to you while you were out, but I think she is scared senseless of you. We have never seen a creature like you before, where are you from?”
Well, no need to lie to the Princess. “I'm from Earth, a country called Canada.”
“Strange, we have never heard of the country called Canada.” She said with some surprise.
“Well Celestia, I... don't really know how to explain it...” I stuttered out, trying to chose my words.
“That is Princess Celestia to you, and how do you know my name? Please start explaining yourself, I have had one problem after another today and I really am not in the mood for games.”
Well, I could have said 'Well your Highness, you are from a show designed for six year old girls and sometimes I masturbate to a humanized version of you and your sister fucking a pony Twilight Sparkle with strap-ons and feel weird about it afterwards.' However I suspected that it wouldn't go down well.
I instead decided that the best route was the kind-of-truthful one and I started talking to her about where I was from. Soon enough we realized that the Earth that I was currently on was a different Earth than the Earth I was from in all forms and sense. This wasn't even a different reality from Earth, there were never any humans whatsoever. So we both theorized on how I could have possibly travelled through a dimension in order to arrive in Equestria. Needless to say, we both had absolutely no idea what the answer was after discussing it for almost an hour.
So after a bit I agreed to tell Celestia more about where I was from, but she didn't like the fact that I had to hold some of the details back from her. From watching the show, they had an almost seamless blend of magic and technology. Almost everypony had a specific role in society and I really didn't need to start overloading them with ideas or inventions. Nor did I need to add a corrupt economy to one that just might be doing quite well on its own.
I kept the whole 'My Little Pony' show but made it a book series made for everyone to enjoy. I told her that it focused on a set of ponies, the main one being Twilight Sparkle. She seemed both surprised and happy to hear that about her favourite student. We spent a while discussing how connected the stories were to what actually happened. A few things were off, one of them sadly being the dragon that Fluttershy pacified in the show actually went on a rampage and killed a few ponies. The Royal Guard had to put it down and even though Fluttershy partially got over her fear of dragons, she was in a depression for almost a month; which was depressing even for me.
We discussed other things that were close to the show; the most recent event being the wedding. Strangely enough, that was yesterday. Apparently I was out for over twelve hours. Princess Celestia was becoming more and more relaxed around me as we talked much to my elation. Either I was making a good impression or she was trying to make herself seem like a kind pony. So we kept talking.
I certainly didn't need to give ponies ideas on how to rebel against Celestia or to start their own religions and faith that would probably upset Celestia's rule. However I did tell her about Earth's religions. I told her about Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, Satanism and even the Pagan Gods of the Romans and Greeks. Quite honestly she was horrified at the atrocities made by most of them. I tried to rationalize more of the loving actions of a lot of religions, however she would have none of it.
“Deeds done to appease anyone, whether it be a God or somepony else will never be as genuine as one who performs a service out of their own goodwill. I would rather have one pony do a good deed out of their own heart than a hundred ponies doing it for my favour. Plus it certainly does not make up for the atrocities done either.” Celestia said, and pretty much that was the end of that.
She did acknowledge the value of Buddhism, LaVey Satanism and a few others that I had mentioned that were more of an Atheist point of view. I personally found that funny because some were polar opposites of one another, but I think she just didn't like anything that tried to justify killing for someone else. Needless to say I had to reflect on how great we humans were on that subject. However I pretty much wanted to leave that whole part behind with the rest of humanity, and Celestia made me give my word. Apparently that meant a lot around here and I didn't want to give her any provocation to send me to the moon.
We talked well into the afternoon discussing matters regarding government and politics. To that extent I learned that the government in Equestria consisted of a small amount of actual elected officials excelling in fields that they were in charge of. However all major decisions rested upon Princess Celestia and her word was absolute. I considered that when you have a wise leader that lived a few thousand years or so you get to appreciate how things were run. Pretty much it was a democracy that was still under a monarchy. Every pony had a voice, and every pony listened to the voice of Celestia as well.
My stomach rumbled very loudly, and Celestia actually suppressed a giggle. “What is it that you humans eat?”
I thought it over on what ponies ate in the show. I definitely know that they were vegetarians, but did they eat hay? I couldn't remember. “Fruits and vegetables are pretty core in our diets, but we also eat meat and such. We cook it beforehand though.” I remembered suddenly that Fluttershy once fed fish to ferrets and quickly added “Fish and the like is perfectly fine too.”
Celestia sent word out to somepony who was outside the door and I heard their hooves clop down the hallway. In the meantime we continued the conversation with the topic leaning more into music and the like. I countered with asking what the music was that Equestria had so I could compare it.
Apparently they had close to the same musical tastes, but it was more leaned towards what I would classify as pop music and classical. Of course it would have to be judged by myself, because pop music without corporate claws digging it's way into every person singing would most certainly be interesting. Then I realized that most of the music on the show was probably the same songs these ponies sang and those were made up by people who were employed by a mega-corporation. Not that bad to put up with, but I would seriously go insane without other forms of music.
She did mention a few musical ponies that were seeking other forms of sound. Apart from the normal 'classical' music that was popular in Canterlot, there was a newer form of sound that was being developed by a pony named Vinyl Scratch that was getting kind of popular. Well at least I had that to look forward to when I got out of here.
That is of course, if I could get out of here.
I got dinner not too much longer after we discussed music differences between our races. The fish wasn't spectacularly well done, but what would you expect from a bunch of vegetarian ponies? It came with some bread, cheese and an apple.
I ate the fish happily, pausing to remove the bones. The bread was absolutely divine and the cheese was delicious, and confirmed they ate at least dairy. I wasn't really a big fan of apples, but this one was utterly fantastic! “Do you not have apples where to are from?” Celestia asked me.
“We do, but they aren't nearly as amazing as these.” I said as I devoured the fruit. Maybe being more of a vegetarian wouldn't be so bad; I would still go for fish that I cooked myself if given the choice however.
“Well they are from Sweet Apple Acres, I'll make sure I send a message along.” Celestia said as she magically conjured up a piece of parchment and some ink.
“That the message? I could just as easily go there myself to give them a compliment. Might need to look into getting a job there as well or something, I'll need the bits.” I commented off-hand, hoping that it would poke at an answer to where I was allowed to go.
“Oh? Now why would you want to do that?” Celestia looked slightly amused while she wrote something down at quite a good speed by the looks of it.
I tried to to pause for too long. “Well, if you grew something and you considered it the best in the land, wouldn't you want to know that they are the best in two lands?”
“Pride can be most unbecoming of a pony you know?”
“Oh I know all about the Great and Powerful Trixie, she certainly takes the cake on that one. I do know that taking pride in a job well done is a great motivator to not only continue your great work, but to take happiness knowing that you make other ponies happy? I'm working on making sure I say ponies instead of 'people'; seeing how I am the only 'person' around that seems to make more sense to me.”
Celestia chuckled for a bit before turning to me. “Well, you certainly will fit in well, at least I hope. Please try to keep the more...” she paused as if trying to find the right word “brutal parts of your species to yourself okay? I am not one for violence. How about you try to stand.”
I nodded and slowly sat up on the side of the bed. My leg did feel slightly numb and tingly, but I was happy that it wasn't causing any pain. I shakily stood up, holding my hand against the wall as I got to my feet. It was supporting my weight well enough and I was able to take a few steps before I got my confidence back. I turned to smile at Celestia, when I noticed I was actually a few inches taller than the pony princess; of course that wasn't counting the horn she had. I wondered how tall I was going to be around other ponies.
A flame and electric crackling sound popped beside me as I saw a green flame burn up what's left of the parchment Celestia was writing on. Time to play a bit ignorant. “Why did you burn that?”
“Oh, well I didn't. It's a magical spell that will send it to Spike. Seeing how he is a dragon he can spit out the flames and get the letter.”
“So he throws up stationary?” I said jokingly. “Princess, would you know where my clothing has gone to?”
She pointed with her hoof to a small chair on the other side of my bed. “I needed to send a letter to my student, Twilight Sparkle. She's very consistent in trying her best to fulfil my requests. Plus she probably wants to know everything about you seeing as how she could get some new knowledge and another friend. Never hurts to also speak to somepony who doesn't live in the same town as you, or even the same planet.”
I just nodded and put on my jeans and decided to carry my jacket. If it was summer outside, I most likely wouldn't need it. I quickly checked all my pockets to see if I still had anything from the incident. My Blackberry was gone and so were my headphones, then again I should have expected that since I saw them fly in front of me before I blacked out. My wallet was gone too, though I seriously doubt that my MasterCard would have worked here. The only thing I had left was a tactical army four-inch blade that folded; and considering how I paid sixty bucks for the thing I felt as if that was pretty damn fortunate. I didn't bring it up since if the Princess didn't want me to have it, it would have been removed in the first place.
I got to meet Nurse Redheart, a nice white pony that actually had a Red Cross-like sign for a cutie mark. She was scared before I knelt down to her level and shook her hoof. It was then I was able to compare my height against a normal pony rather than an Alicorn. Giving a quick comparison I guessed that most ponies were about four feet tall, Celestia was about five foot ten, and Big Macintosh would probably be about five foot six. Luckily the architecture in this world had lots of space. It was as if it was made for humans in the first place and ponies just kind of kept up the appearance. I suspected ponies just built it that tall in case the Princesses or some other races wanted to go to their house or something.
The whole time I was escorted by two of the Royal Guard. They were pretty good at looking forward and looking out for threats. However they considered me to be just as much of a threat as well, and their horns got quite close to me. I could almost feel the energy coming off of them. I guessed they knew combat magic, and they gave off an aura that certainly made them imposing.
As I walked around I considered that my compatibility in this place was most certainly not going to be messed up. I could eat some of the same foods and walk most places. They even had electricity pretty wide-spread too, and I assumed that without huge corporations developing the tech for money, it was probably super-efficient. Knowing how Pegasi controlled the weather, they would either have clear skies for solar or even channels of wind for turbines.
The whole place felt strange to me; as if they knew how to be the most cutting-edge of technology but something was holding them back a bit. Even in the hospital, things felt as if they were from the distant past, yet with some of the tech from the future. It was immediately connected in my brain; I could compare it to Fallout. Even though the Fallout universe had advanced robotics and laser rifles, they still kept a forties' mentality to architecture and design.
Then again, if you had magic, there wasn't a real reason to keep pushing technology in areas that could be accomplished by magic was there?
As we exited the hospital I was exposed to more ponies and was hit with a kaleidoscope of colours. It was intense seeing pretty much every single colour moving about on its own. On Earth you expected some of the more stable colours such as brown, green, black, grey and white everywhere. Here it was as if the universe took every single pastel colour and went 'Yeah, all that shit moves now'. Princess Celestia looked at me with some concern. “Are you okay, or does your skin change from peach to pale quickly?”
“It's nothing.. just gotta get used to seeing so many colours at once. It's like I am having one hell of an acid trip.” I said as I stumbled to grab something, I was able to get a hold of a railing almost too small for me.
“What's an 'acid trip'? One of those human secrets you will be keeping?”
“Oh yeah. I'll be keeping a lot of secrets, and that one is something to keep to myself or Zecora.” I said as we walked along a main road.
“We might as well call you Keeper with all of these things you have to keep from my subjects.” Celestia said off-hand as she smiled and bowed slightly to a couple of ponies.
It was more than a couple of ponies to be exact. I just realized that we might be in Canterlot. Ponies were staring at me, some gawking with their mouths hanging wide open, a few running to the nearest shop or building, and some just taking a peek before passing on with whatever they were doing. Seeing me in the presence of a smiling Celestia must have calmed a lot of them, since if she was smiling I wasn't some kind of threat. Whispers were going back and fourth too among the ponies; that was to be expected really since I was the first human they had ever seen.
I ignored them as much as possible as I thought about what the Princess had said. What if ponies called me Keeper instead of Damien? It would be easier to explain why I had to keep loads of things to myself, especially when pony names were close in relation to what ponies actually did. My name could be Keeper, and I keep secrets. It actually sounded great and I told that to Celestia.
“That is a sound plan, I'll introduce you as Keeper then. Now have you ever flown on something before, I think you mention a thing called an 'airplane' before.” she was leading me to a chariot.
It was the same chariot from the show, lead by two pegasi Royal Guardsmen. Oh boy, first I had to get used to being in a completely different world, now I get to fly in a freaking chariot. “I will have to tell you the difference between an airplane and a chariot someday Princess. I am sure that if I brought up earth technology for aircraft for ponies, you will completely forget about your chariot.”
“Surely you can't be serious.” she stepped up onto the golden vehicle.
I tried making a joke to calm my nerves, and instantly my mind came up with “I am, and don't call me Shirley.”
She looked puzzled, “I didn't call you Shirley.”
I smiled and shook off the question. Ten years and I finally could say the line and the only being I could say it to didn't even know what I was talking about. “Trust me, that's comedic gold back on Earth.”
Star Sign was flabbergasted. Keeper was able to meet the Princess just like that? She seemed to trust him really quickly though, and Star couldn't think of the exact reason why. Was it because he hadn't actually done anything to harm a pony? Was it because she knew he couldn't be a changeling? Maybe she took pity on him, seeing as how he was the only human in the world. Only the Princess knew the answer to why she let him live here.
The room was starting to feel a tad bit claustrophobic. Star Sign decided that she could take some more time to explore the castle before reading further. Reaching for the door she noticed a small spider crawling across it. She was about to squish it when she noticed it seemed like it was regarding her for a moment. Shaking her head she carefully opened the door and closed it softly as she passed through. She didn't know why she did that, maybe reading about Princess Celestia giving Keeper some mercy was rubbing off on her.
Walking back into the main landing at the top of the stairs, she looked around her. What other places could be in here? She only needed to choose.
"That Makes Sense to Me!"
-=Pulse=-
A My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic Tale
-=Part 3: *“That Makes Sense to Me!” *
Star Sign trotted along the outside of the landing. Having just finished the chapter on Keeper's encounter with the Princess herself, she was even more inquisitive into the life she knew little about. She looked around and decided to go up another flight of stairs.
She found herself in a bedroom. It was pretty plain, especially for her tastes. There were holes in the walls showing the outside mountain range that ran beside Everfree Forest. There were a few dressers that were on either side of a small fireplace. Same as the library, there were a few pieces of wood bound together with webbing. She laughed to herself at her slight hesitation since there were no large spiders living here. Keeper probably had a way of harvesting it and used the webs for hardy string.
On the mantle there were a few pictures. The first was Keeper around the actual group of ponies that wielded the Elements of Harmony. They were all relaxed and most of the six ponies were leaning up against him. She had seen Keeper before since he was one of the more important residents of Ponyville and there were quite a few pictures of him. Twilight Sparkle herself even wrote a book on him. She gave an account of what Keeper called “humanity in a nutshell”.
The second one was with Vinyl Scratch and Keeper and both were giving each other a hug. On the bottom was cursive writing that read “I wub the way make music together!” . Star Sign blushed as she read that. As much as they were both known for making tons of music, that certainly sounded naughty. Shaking her head she noticed the last picture.
It was a Changeling. The number one Changeling to be exact. Queen Chrysalis herself. She wasn't looking at the camera either which was strange. She was staring off into the distance at a nighttime sky and the side of her face was illuminated by fireworks that were sparkling in the dark. It was strange, why would he have such an intimate photo of one of the biggest threats to Equestria?
Why didn't it stop bugging her in the back of her mind? It was starting to give her a headache.
Star Sign decided to take her mind off of the questions she had by reading more of Keeper's book. As much as it probably would give her more questions it would certainly keep her mind off of the photo. She looked at Keeper's bed, it looked quite well for being a hundred years old. She poked the heavy red blanket with her hoof. To her relief nothing moved under it and she couldn't see any insects. Hopping up she heard the wood creak under her weight. It seemed to be fine and she sighed in relief as she laid the book down on the bed. Looking around she felt how massive it was too; Keeper really was tall.
Star opened up the book and took another peek into Keeper's past. It was the same book, so she didn't expect any time-skipping and picked up right where she left off.
Now the take-off was bumpy but I blamed that on the road. Once the two guards were in the air it was actually pretty smooth. The front of the chariot was able to block most of the incoming winds and I didn't feel like I was going to fly off the thing. I also tried not to look down; I didn't need to throw up the food I just ate.
The ride was quicker than I imagined. Maybe air resistance and physics played differently here, especially considering how Rainbow Dash could probably really pull off a sonic rain-boom without killing herself. I noticed a few familiar colours on a road as we angled towards the ground and my nervousness increased substantially.
The landing was a bit better than the take-off which was very nice because I didn't know if I could hold in my lunch any longer. We stepped off and the six ponies started to move forward but hesitated a bit when they saw me jump off the back of the chariot.
“Now we know that if it is with the Princess than we are safe from it.” Twilight not-so-subtly whispered back to her friends. She had Tara Strong's voice which more evidence on how close the two places were.
“But it's so strange. Look how it's dressed! That's not in fashion.” Rarity was a bit softer in the whisper but I could still hear it well. Plus fashion? Seriously Rarity you could think up of something better to say.
We approached the mares and they bowed to the Princess. Fluttershy immediately edged a bit back behind the group and she looked terrified per usual. Applejack seemed defensive, almost ready to buck me at a moment's notice. Rainbow Dash was looking at me as if she was judging me; although I didn't know if it was for threat analysis or competition. Rarity was probably still judging my clothes though I thought it was really shallow to think that of her even if it was correct. Pinkie Pie's ear was twitching, but she actually seemed relaxed. Finally Twilight has put on a strong look as if to show she was brave in front of her Princess.
“Now Twilight, my favourite student. This here is a friend from a far away place, he's come here to live in Ponyville for the foreseeable future. Twilight have you talked to the ponies around town?”
Twilight nodded and smiled, “Why yes I have Princess Celestia, though they might be intimidated by his... size.” Damn straight, it's not the only big thing you should be worried about. Shut up brain. “Plus it's a day after the wedding, ponies might think he is a Changeling.”
“Well he is not, you may tell them that I have said that.” the Princess smiled.
“Well where's he comin' from? Appleosa? Manehatten?” Applejack chirped up.
Celestia looked at me with some concern. “Well they are probably going to find out anyways. Especially if I can't get back.” I told her.
“Git back where?” Applejack asked.
Celestia drew in a deep breath. “Now look girls, this is going to be a lot to take in at once so I'm going to be cutting right to the chase so to speak. A portal somehow opened up during the Changeling attack and he was taken through it by accident. He is the only one of his kind here and he is all alone and could certainly use a friend. We have no way of getting him back at the moment, and quite frankly we just don't have the time or resources to get him home.”
I took a step forward and got on one knee, which brought my face down to Twilight's height. “My name is Keeper, and I am pleased to make your acquaintance. It was quite a thrill to know how you could help the Ursa Minor get back to its mother. Especially against the Great and not-really-all-that-powerful Trixie.”
She blushed a bit and I shook her hoof. “How... how do you know about that?”
I winked at her and turned to Rarity. “Oh and Rarity this is in fashion where I am from. Military is always in good taste for men nowadays. However if I want to get a little more of an update I know to go to the best seamstress in Equestria.”
She shook my hand a bit stronger than Twilight did, though with a bit more grace. “Ohhh! Well-spoken and polite, I may be a bit wrong about you.”
I stood up to greet Rainbow Dash, and held up my fist for a hoof-bump. “Even on Earth we have heard of the best flier in Equestria and her amazing Sonic Rain-boom. It is quite the feat I must add.”
She lightly bumped her hoof against my hand. “Really? I have been working on a few things I can show you if I have the time.” She really warmed up on the compliment and I actually was interested on seeing her fly.
I crouched a little to shake Applejack's hoof too, “Plus of all the apples I have ever had, I am happy I had the pleasure of eating such a delicious fruit grown from your orchard.” I leaned in a bit closer and whispered. “Pie and hard apple cider, I will probably need some in a while.”
“Well y'all come by sometime and I'll be sure to show ya both.” she said as she shook my hand roughly; thankfully she didn't spit on it this time.
“Pinkie Pie, I am going to eat all of the cupcakes.” I said almost sternly.
“All the cupcakes? And are you an alien, or would we be the aliens to you? No you are visiting us so it should be you being the alien this time and not us.” she looked horrified and then excited at the same time, which was a very funny look.
“All the cupcakes! Second question's answer is not an alien!” I smiled as I shook her hand, to which she grabbed with both hooves and shook enthusiastically.
I turned to the still slightly-cowering Fluttershy. “Plus after a dragon, Discord, basilisks and cockatrice living in the Everfree Forest, why are you so scared of me?”
She didn't make any move to actually shake my hand in an introduction. She meekly smiled and looked to the side and said “um, hello” softly.
Well five out of six ain't that bad. “So Twilight, where is Spike?”
Twilight looked like her mind was really going to blow. “How the hay do you know these things?!”
“I know these thing because I am Keeper. I keep things to myself and I keep knowledge. Might take a few times to learn but I keep a lot and some things I share.” I said with my arms raised a little to embellish the fact.
“That makes sense to me!” Pinkie Pie happily told Twilight.
The Princess also spoke up. “Twilight, I know this is new and very confusing but Keeper here has had such a long trip. He will explain later, however he is under my own personal orders to keep some secrets to himself. So if he says he won't share then please respect that okay?”
Twilight seemed a bit more relaxed hearing it from the Princess, though it seemed reluctant. “I'll share a lot with you Twilight. I have a bit that can probably expand that library of yours.” I offered, “When we have the time I'll be happy to share lots of my history.”
“Well then it is a pleasure to meet you Keeper. I am sure that you will feel right at home in Ponyville! As for Spike, he is off preparing a bit for your arrival, the ponies will probably be very curious as to who you exactly are apart from just 'human' and 'tall on two legs'.” Twilight actually looked at Princess Celestia with a bit of annoyance when the Princess was glancing back at the chariot.
Well so far flattery and charm was getting me everywhere with these ponies. I turned to Celestia and she beckoned me to meet with her. “Now before I go Twilight, I do have a few things to give to Keeper here. Would you please wait a moment?”
She nodded and the Alicorn motioned for me to go back to the chariot with her. “They are horrible at whispering are they not?”
I leaned a bit but held eye contact with Celestia. “Not that bad...”, “could be a nice pon-I mean human”, “...gave Zecora a chance and look how wrong we were...”, and I caught “all the cupcakes...”
“Yeah they suck at that.” I smiled “Thanks so much for everything, it really means a lot.”
“Well I couldn't let you wander alone with a broken leg now could I? As for getting you home, I don't want any chance of my kingdom being exposed to the more... indecent things about humanity. Things are very stable here and I don't wish to expose my subjects to anything that could compromise their happiness or lives more than you. I am sorry to say that for the time being, we won't be looking to get you home.
“Considering how I couldn't keep you locked in a room just for being different, I'm taking the extreme route and giving you a lot of my trust.” She looked at me with a fierce look “Be sure you to betray that trust. Also, we still have a huge Changeling problem to take care of as well. You know about them right?”
I waved her concern off, “I know all about them, plus I'm certain they have no idea how to make a female human anyways. I am sure that there would be more complications with me going back than me staying here too. If time is moving on Earth while I am here then I am sure that if I just showed up it would cause a mess with pretty much everything. Saying I went to a magical land full of amazing ponies and magic will most likely end up in all sorts of terrible things, and that is IF time was flowing at the same pace. Heck I could show up in an alternate Earth or a few thousand years in the future.”
“Well then everything might turn out better in the end. That is the one thing about magic that you have to learn about here, it is all about balance and harmony.” she said as she brought out a small sack. “Now this should cover you for a bit. Seeing as how you are a refugee of sorts, we will register you under assistance until you have a job or talent that can support you.”
I thanked her for her generosity and held the bag of Bits in my hand. Unlike the show, there were different gold bits scattered throughout; all different sizes but not colours. Great, I had no idea how much I had, but I assumed it would be enough for a bit. A Bit for a bit, wow. She bowed lightly to me and simply said “I want you to do one thing. I wish for you to make friends here. Even though you are the only human here, there is no reason to be lonely. I hope you find the magic in friendship.”
“Will I have to write letters to you on the lessons I have learned?” I asked with a smile.
She shook her head and gave a small laugh. “No, but progress reports on how you are doing would be nice. I take about a half-hour to relax between royal duties every few hours during the day in which I check on Twilight if needed. Feel free to ask Spike to send a letter along. He will know when to send it to me.”
I leaned forward and bowed on one knee and thanked her for her kindness and trust. I was really playing the 'be nice to everybody' card, but she didn't banish me to the moon yet so I figured I owed her my respect. She did give me a bunch of Bits and for that I was really thankful for as well.
I waved her good-bye as she boarded her golden vehicle and walked back to the six ponies that I had spent a bit of my recent life watching. We landed about ten minutes outside of Ponyville, so I spent the time talking a bit to each one of them; except for Fluttershy, who opted to just listen. They were really interested in my world but actually respected my privacy for the most part. I did have to say a few times “Seriously girls, I might tell you sometime. I just have to get used to being in a completely different world.”
Before we got into Ponyville, I did manage to get invited to record some data on humans with Twilight Sparkle as well as choose some new clothing with Rarity. Of course, Rarity checked my Bit bag to see if I might have enough first. She did want some fashion design idea of what humans wore as well as Bits for her time though; I did argue that if she made money off my ideas, she would owe me Bits. Pinkie Pie of course invited me to eat cupcakes. I had heard of some stories involving Pinkie and cupcakes on the internet, so I politely told her that I would after I settled in. You know, just in case if ponies went missing and her cupcakes were a bit too delicious.
Soon enough I found myself looking out over a large hill into Ponyville. Here I was on the edge of a new city, a new home. I was pretty scared to say the least. More than moving from Ontario to British Columbia. Then again that was only across the same country and not a whole dimension.
We continued to walk through the town heading for what I assumed was the town square or city hall. To be honest, I still didn't know the layout by watching the show. Walking closer it was hard not to notice the huge crowd of ponies staring at me trying to figure out what the fuck I was, which of course didn't ease my nervousness. I walked though them with the help of the main six while mostly excusing ourselves. Some ponies sounded horrified at how I looked, others thought I was weird, and I was able to hear at least a few ponies think I looked cool. Nice to know I wasn't ostracized immediately.
Eventually I was standing in front of everypony, and the crowd quieted down as Twilight approached a small microphone and podium. “Good afternoon Ponyville! It is a pretty big surprise for all of us, as much as it was for even Princess Celestia that a being from another world appeared in Equestria. I have absolute assurance from the Princess herself that he is of no threat to anypony and will be staying in Ponyville for the foreseeable future. I also have her assurances that he is not a Changeling. That being said, everyone give a warm welcome to Keeper, the first human in Equestria!”
The crowd was not one for clapping out loud for something that they had never seen before, but I did get a nice low “ooh” from the ponies. I approached the stand and took the microphone into my hand. For a minute I thought I was going to crush it. I took a deep breath and tried to relax a bit before opening my mouth. “Hello ponies of Ponyville. My name is Keeper and I am from a place called Earth. Now I have to keep some things to myself, however that is under orders from Celestia herself.” I caught my mistake. “Pardon me, Princess Celestia. Forgive me on that one, we don't have many princesses back where I am from. So I'll be taking questions from anypony who wants to ask.” I figured it would be best as a Q and A just to get some issues out of the way, and I took off my military jacket and adjusted my t-shirt underneath.
“What is your talent?” a pony in the crowd asked.
I paused for a second, what exactly was my talent? I was a Jack-of-all-trades and that was more of a problem than anything, it's the exact reason why I have been stagnating for so long back on Earth. “Where I am from, you aren't so much an individual as you ponies are. There are so many humans that you have to be good in quite a few things if you want to be important. I am a kind of human who is good in many things, but excel in almost nothing. However maybe that's because I have never been in a place where I might be needed, and I am really just a blank-flank without a speciality yet. I hope to find it here.” I smiled a bit, they seemed to like that.
There were quite a few murmurs in the audience, which was broken by a male in the front row asking “Well then what is that cutie mark on your right front arm?”
Arm? Well I assume that they must have called the front legs on a few animals arms and it made sense. However the cutie mark bit didn't make sense. I pulled up my sleeve and exposed the rest of my tattoo, but all that was left from a slightly tribal design of the Assassin's symbol from Assassin's Creed was just the upside-down stylized 'V' in the plain traditional sign.
“This is called a tattoo, it's a choice to get one and you can get one almost anywhere on your body in my world. They symbolize different things depending on what you want and how you place it.” I paused to let that sink in a bit “you can think of it as a permanent paint, albeit more... intense.”
Then to save myself from the next question I told them what the symbol meant, without too much of the bloody history that shared it. It was unchained freedom, something many humans didn't get to think about. One of the things I loved and always kept in mind is 'nothing is true, everything is permitted'. Now you can apply it to a lot, but in between answering mundane questions like “how big is Earth” and the like I thought more and more on that particular line of the Creed; nothing is true, everything is permitted.
Everything I knew was shattered in some way. Even base physics was messing up for me. Mostly anything that I assumed to be true was being tweaked. Two Alicorns controlled the Earth's orbit around the moon and sun, everything looked... different, and even my own body was changed. As for everything is permitted part, I had to chose wisely or the consequences could be catastrophic. For instance, I could snap Twilight's neck right now and it would change Equestria's future permanently, but would pretty much get me killed as well. However I liked Purple Smart and I really wanted to take this land to the fullest. Plus, this was a complete life reset and everything was available to me.
Also, it meant that I could do anything now too. Ponies looked after each other. I could make a home and maybe even actually make a difference in here. I was already going to be in history books, and I wanted to be remembered as a good human, not one that broke necks.
It was like the feeling you get when you play something like Fallout for the first time, and you walk out of the Vault and you see the world. You have an open world to do anything in, with a fresh start. Your world is forever changed, but you know you have to keep stepping forward. Then discoveries keep popping up here and there and you get that feeling of wanting to know what's behind the next corner.
I told them that it also stood for the good of all of humanity, to keep them free and prosperous and to remind everyone to have an open mind. That part was true at least, and a few really liked that I would choose something like that to be permanently etched into my skin. I also warned them that the process took thousands of years to perfect and that they shouldn't work into altering who they are that much. Besides, not like it could be seen through their short coats.
They were obviously amazed at how old my planet was and how many people were living on it. Some of them really didn't like that I was keeping stuff back from them, but I was Keeper and that is what I did. When your name usually aligns with what you do you can get away with things like that. They accepted the Keeper persona a lot better than expected to be honest. Nevertheless, most ponies were very welcoming of a new being in their midst.
I was just about to get off the stage to look for an inn or something to stay the night in when Twilight hopped up to the microphone and said “Now Keeper is a long way away from his home and doesn't have anywhere to call home, does anyone have space for him?”
There was a long murmur throughout the crowd. Saying hello was one thing, but actually letting the new creature into their homes? Especially with a majority female population, the prospect of me getting a bunk seemed unlikely. I was about to get up to tell her I could find a place on my own when Applejack started to move to raise her hoof. I was thinking about living in the barn and helping it to be fixed or something. However, from the crowd I heard a voice shout out “I'll let him crash at my place!”
Everypony turned to see who spoke up. She started to walk forward and I almost had to use my hands to keep my jaw up. She had a brilliant white coat, a note cutie mark, different blue streaks in her hair and purple glasses that were reflective. “It won't be much trouble, I can make room in my studio. Hey Keeper, you like music?”
I wasn't going to let out a squee this early in my stay. “Why yes I do, in fact, I was told by the Princess that you are working on some newer-type music. I would love to hear it.”
“What about Octavia, Vinyl?” Twilight asked.
Vinyl Scratch walked around me as if sizing me up. “She's off for a few days in Canterlot. I'll explain when she comes back. Not like he is going to crash in her room. Besides, it's technically my house anyways.”
The crowd started to disperse and go on with their lives. Some even waved goodbye and added “Hope to see you around Keeper!”
I bowed to the six ponies that I knew well and bid them goodbye, adding a bit more of a wave to Rarity. Spike was still nowhere to be seen which was good because I didn't want to get on his bad side while getting on Rarity's good one. Following Vinyl through Ponyville was nice too as I was able to check out a few houses.
“I do have to warn you that I keep late hours, I can be up playing with my studio for hours and time passes like crazy. You have any problem with loud music? What music does Earth have? I actually want to show you something cool! Do you like waffles?” Scratch said as we passed a flower shop.
“I keep weird hours too, no, loads, cool is cool, fuck yes.” I answered quickly, to which she looked back at me and I saw a flash of her eyes; to set the record straight in my mind they were more of a ruby or crimson colour, but not straight red or magenta.
Smiling she simply said, “Thank Celestia the house is under my name, I am glad you aren't a prude like Octavia. She definitely would not let me get away with inviting you over if that was the case. We can burn that bridge when we get to it.”
We came upon a building that was like most two-story buildings in Ponyville, but separated a bit more from the rest on the more outskirts of town. It was white-painted brick that looked almost plastered over in order to give it a smooth look with a hay roof that had a wood layer underneath. There was a small garden out front with a few flowers here and there. Again, I was lucky with the door as I almost had to duck a little to get through.
“Mon casa su casa my pink-skinned friend!” Vinyl stepped inside and shut the wooden door behind her.
“Sweet Lucifer, you know Spanish?” I asked somewhat amazed.
She paused in the entryway “I have no idea what that is, I just made it up a while ago and thought it was cool to say. Is that actually a thing? What's a Lucifer? Is it sweet candy?”
“No, Lucifer isn't a candy. I just say that because people get offended when I say Jesus Christ.” I paused when I saw her head tilt to the side. “Fuck I need a filter. Anyways what you said means 'my home is your home' or something like that. Just curious as to how close our two places are. Nice home by the way, mind giving me a quick tour?”
She agreed to it and lead me through the house. It was small in my standards, but the ceilings were large enough. She lead me into a kitchen and I was somewhat surprised to actually see appliances in it. Running water in a sink, fridge, oven and even a dishwasher. I side-stepped to check out the dishwasher, but to my dismay it didn't go to eleven nor did it have some place to jack a music device into; I guess she didn't clean her dishes with wubs. “Wait, you are saying that you guys have these things too?” she remarked as I familiarized myself with everything.
“Yeah, trust me it is kinda freaking me out too.” I told her truthfully as I followed her into the den.
This was obviously one of Octavia's rooms and looked like an old hunter's den without the animal heads. Her double bass was sitting in a corner but here cello was gone, probably with her. Music books were neatly aligned in a series of bookcases that were near a fireplace. I guess that central heating wasn't invented nor implemented yet, not that the house would be hard to heat up with a wood-burning fireplace. There was even an old-style phonograph in the corner. “You ponies have record players?”
She seemed to get really excited about me mentioning that. “Yes! This particular one was made in the last seventy years or so! We use a machine to record music into crystals and then use those crystals to etch their magic into these vinyl discs!” she held one up with a hoof and used her magic to place it into the record player. “This is one of Octavia's by the way, I have my own collection of my music downstairs. As well as more modern speakers and such. She likes old-fashioned stuff.”
Upon closer examination of the old device, I noticed a few major differences as she set the disc up. One, there was no wind-up crank or anything that I was used to seeing on old record players. The phonograph was also different in that the needle was also a gem of some sorts, it was small and slightly blue. Upon contact with the disk, a tiny bit of electrical energy could be seen touching the vinyl material. Scratch pressed a button, and immediately soft violin string could be heard coming out of the cone. Another thing I noticed is that it didn't have the scratchy soft sound that was associated with records.
“Well, that sound like our old 'classical' music. Pianos, violins, flute and the like. We even have the double bass that Octavia has in the corner. However your record player certainly has its own magical additions.”
“Do you have anything with magic?”
“Negative, my white pony.” Wow, that sounded racist in my head.
“You guys don't have magic where you are from? How do you get by?” She took off her glasses and jumped up on a chair while I took a seat that was almost too short for me.
“Technology kept going forward and with a few billion minds going someone gets a great idea every once in a while. Price for no cutie marks or being naturally gifted in one single area. You guys got it lucky. Now, wanna show me your studio?” I really wanted to listen to her stuff.
She jumped off her seat enthusiastically and I felt a slight magic tug on my wrist as I followed her back through the kitchen. She swung open a small hatch down into what I presumed to be the basement. She flicked on a switch and her 'studio' was lit up.
It was pretty meagre to begin with, she did have some actual electronic set-ups that a DJ would actually have, but it was all hand-made. Hoof-made. Speakers were set up all over the room and so were vinyl discs; I also noticed a lot of battery-sized crystals lying about over her console connected by wires and boxes.
She promptly went over all the electronic components of her studio. I could instantly tell that this was her deepest passion, and it was simply amazing to see. Back on Earth you would only really see dedication or passion coming off of a musician that really cared and dedicated their lives to music, and that was rare.
She described how she would record music using her machine to record memory-like music into these crystals to replicate sounds. Using a weird crown that had wires running off of it, she would send the music in her mind into the crystal and it would store the musical line she needed. From there she would tweak it using her console and a pair of headphones which were almost exact duplicates of human headphones. Then she would wire all of the crystals into a final copy, mixing all of the elements of music together in harmony, for lack of a better term. The last step was using a machine to etch the musically-charged music into a vinyl disc.
I was simply amazed, the crystals were magically created as musical storage devices!
I begged her to play me some tracks that she had complied. She flipped up a disc and tossed it into a more futuristic-looking record player. I was expecting some major label kind of techno. I was expecting some amazing drops and sweet tunes. However, I wasn't treated to some kind of angelic tunes from a DJ pony that could make DJ Shadow look like a kid who was tone-deaf.
Needless to say, her music sounded like a 16 year old kid with Garage Band just fucking around with what they thought was pretty good techno. It wasn't super bad by any chance, but nobody would pay money to come and see it in our world. Though with a sound as radically different as this, I would see why some ponies would enjoy it.
“Did you like it? How was it? Was it good? Was it acceptable? Oh fuck you didn't like it did you?” her smile went from elated to deflated as she kept on talking down to herself.
I put a finger to her lips, which as a side note felt quite different than a human's, to shut her up. “Look, I come from a place where many artists collaborate and make music. Techno has been around for almost twenty-plus years and our technology has made it even easier to kick out tunes.” I took a deep breath. “I'm not saying it's terrible. I'm saying it is unrefined, unpolished and the work of somebody who is doing it on their own with no material beyond what they can pull up.”
She lightened up a bit. “Okay, so it is about a dirty little rock right now, and I need to chip away at it until it becomes a shiny gem right?”
Wow, she took that better than I thought. “Yeah, but you don't seem very upset at my reaction.”
“I get talked down from Octavia and other ponies that don't think that my music will catch on. They say it is just a fad and that it will phase out entirely. I know I am pulling half of this out my ass, but I really feel like I am onto something here!” she said as she sat down on the floor beside me.
I took her front hoof in my hand and gave it a squeeze. “You are Vinyl, I know it. There was a band once in my world. They tried to get into studios to record music and worked their butts off in order to spread their music around. One studio said that their sound was temporary, just a fad and that it will die out.”
She was into the story, maybe my storytelling is my talent. “What happened next? Did they get noticed?”
I smiled wide and used more hand motions to embellish the tale. “Oh did they ever. This band got so popular that they became a house-hold name to billions of people. Many other musicians were influenced by them, and even fifty years later they remain one of the greatest bands in the world.”
She looked stunned, “I don't think I'll ever be that good to be honest.”
“They were called the Beatles, I'm sure you will do just as good with your music in this world, you just have to push it and learn.”
“Ew. Beetles?” she replied with a bit of disgust. “You gotta be joking.”
“Look. If it becomes anything like I know and have listened to, you will be able to make ponies start to appreciate something new. I just wish there was a way to give you a taste of what I know.”
She perked up immediately after that. “I know! You can wear the headset! You don't have to make up a song to record, you can think it up of a song in it's entirety and I can make it happen.” She scrambled around her studio, “Then I can listen and learn from it!”
Soon enough she had a spot cleared on a chair beside her console. I then noticed some straps on the chair. “Oh, yeah. Okay, what is the bondage equipment for on the seat?”
She giggled a bit “Well, what happens is that the recorder amplifies your consciousness to remember exactly how you sensed a memory. Then it links with your subconscious to bring it out and you can relive parts of your memory. I can only pick up audio from this, but you can mess around with it. It partially also puts you to sleep, making you experience some kind of dream-scape, where you can shape basic things the harder you conc-” she paused when she saw all of this go over my head. “It makes you remember music and you can float in black space where you can imagine stuff or go over a memory. Sometimes you flail because your brain thinks where you are is real. The straps prevent that.”
“Oh” I simply responded back.
“I have a timer on in case if you fall into a memory or something. This scans your brain so try to think of just the song okay?”
I nodded back, clearly not knowing what she was talking about.
She sighed and fastened her helmet onto my head. It was tight, uncomfortable and four things were poking the skin on my skull, making it quite annoying. She then flicked a switch and my vision blacked out for another time in the same day.
I was floating yet again. This felt weird because there was still gravity but I wasn't falling, I just knew what was “down” and what was “up”. It also occurred to me that for a guy who was in a rut doing nothing but being still, I was agreeing with shit really fast. I got killed in a bus accident, woke up in a hospital, changed dimensions, flew in a chariot with royalty that controls the sun, shocked and charmed a bunch of ponies that shouldn't exist, popped into a town, got a place to crash, witnessed a bunch of melding between magic and technology and finally I agreed to strap myself to a fucking machine that scans my mind. It was such a long list that if I had to write it down, I'd think it was a run-on sentence.
I decided that after this exercise I should probably call it a day and just pass out. I decided to think of what songs Vinyl would like and a few came to mind. I decided to play it safe and think along the “techno” route and picked up a song that everybody should know. I concentrated and soon enough, the opening of Daft Punk's “Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger” started to play. I didn't want it mixed in with any other memories of me playing this song because I didn't know if whatever she was using to record this would pick it up and mess with the audio.
I concentrated on something else. Blue pulses started to move with the music and I started to create a visualizer with it. Keeping the music in my mind was surprisingly easy, every note came in loud and clear and the voices were crisp and perfectly robotic. I didn't know if it was how I heard it one time or how my brain was making it easy for me to remember but it was certainly some of the best audio I had ever heard. Continuing with making my own visualizer, I kept up on making the song run as smooth a possible.
Eventually the song came to an end and since I wasn't “awake” I figured I would give her some more music to listen to for ideas in her music. Since her name was Vinyl Scratch, I figured I give her a bit of what knowledge I had.
First I went with a track I had played on DJ Hero, simply Scratch Pervert's “Beats and Pieces”. This was fun because I used to play this on expert and brought up a fake turntable in the blackness that I was floating in. Lights came up on it and I pretended to scratch along to the song, pumping my fist to an invisible silent crowd. It was great as it lasted but I was sure I did nothing right, which didn't affect the song thankfully. This was to show that a DJ was more than hitting play on a track.
I still haven't woken up after that, so I played Beck's “Where It's At” showing how samples don't even need to make sense as long as it sounds good. I played DJ Shadow's “Midnight in a Perfect World” for the slow, soft sounds that lull you into relaxation; I also figured I could use it to let Octavia loosen up to Vinyl's music if needed. I hit up some deadmau5, and really got sucked into “Ghosts and Stuff” even though it was a long time since I actually listened to it. Finally I put on C2C's “Le Banquet” for some more mixing.
It sent a nice spike through me though, something I haven't felt in a long time. The pulse that you feel when you listen to something that clicks with you. As I enjoyed it in the lull of the dark I felt a sense of pressure on my hands, followed by a jarring sensation and blinked awake. The light was blinding for a few minutes but I felt Vinyl lift the helmet thing off my head. “Well, how are you feeling? We kinda jumped into this and I don't want any side-effects.” she asked as she moved some papers and sat down near me.
“I'm doing fine,” at least I thought I did, I was starting to get a headache “though my head is starting to kill me. How long was I out for?”
She looked to the side “Uh... about an hour. I set the timer for that long to let you hit the deep consciousness you need... well you pretty much fell into a sleep that has no resting effect because your mind is still going at a hundred percent.”
I shook my head a bit as she used her magic to untie my hands. “Well did you hear any of it?”
She jumped up out of her seat and started to walk in a pacing way through her cluttered studio. She commented on each song that I played. She really enjoyed the Daft Punk and the deadmau5 tracks, but was confused slightly on the other ones. Then I explained to her that there were many different aspects to how one became a 'DJ' in my world. The varying styles between DJ Shadow and Scratch Perverts were apparent enough that even someone who wasn't into music could hear the differences.
She really was into pretty much everything that I played for her. She got even more into it as I described how two songs can be melded together to make a third track. We then discussed sampling, and how she could use bits and pieces of what I brought to make a new song with what she had. We talked about it until dinner came around, to which I excused myself. Vinyl claimed she wasn't hungry, but I knew she was covering it up. She had the look of someone who was onto the greatest thing ever discovered, and nothing was going to stop her from finding it out even if it was food.
I walked upstairs after closing the door and started to search through the pantry and the fridge. As expected, ponies were mostly vegetarians though they seem to make eggs and milk from time to time which made sense since farms with chickens existed in the world. Strangely enough, so did a lot of the spices and things I have used were in this world as well. I wasn't complaining however since I didn't have to re-learn a bunch of cooking tastes again. As a thank-you for letting me stay at her place I decided to cook for her while she worked in her studio.
I'm proud to have been Canadian and any Canadian guy who is worth your time knows how to make french toast and-slah-or poutine. French toast wasn't a huge “dinner” thing to make for her but I figured that what she didn't know couldn't kill her. I had to adjust for a few things and search my way around the kitchen but I was able to whip up two plates easily enough. Rummaging through her cupboards I found syrup as well and wondered how they made it here because it certainly tasted of maple.
I opened up the door to her studio and was instantly assaulted by “Ghosts and Stuff”. Almost juggling the plates I was able to close the door. Vinyl was busy annihilating pieces of paper with a pen, making notes like crazy. I noticed that some of the marks she was making were close to our musical notes and scale but I wasn't one for sheet music so it could all be random glyphs to me. “Is this a good time?!” I yelled out as loud as possible, which didn't help my head.
She looked and blinked at me, moving her mouth in what I assumed to be words before she smacked a button “-and that's why that scale is so nice!” she finished.
I blinked at her. “Well, you have a few seconds before my hearing comes back. How about you take a mouthful of this before you talk?” I joked as I moved the plate towards her.
Her horn glowed and the fork rose off the plate and she munched on some of the french toast. “This is pretty good you know! What is it called?” I knew it was going to be a question assault time again.
“It's called 'French Toast', mainly bread and eggs but it has a bunch of other stuff too, added more vanilla for flavour.” I replied whilst munching on my pieces.
It was pretty decent too. “What is a French?” she asked, which almost caused me to cough my portion out in a laugh.
“It's a language coming from a country in my world called 'France'. Though the country I am from called 'Canada' was made up of people coming from France and another country that spoke English called 'England'. The language we speak now is called 'English' in my world, what's is called here?”
She looked kind of confused, but I was certain that I'd be explaining it to enough ponies that it would be known that I come from a place where there are tons of languages. “We speak Pony, simple as that. Zebras speak Zebra and even the Griffon have their own little language too, but we mostly speak Pony. How many languages do you humans speak? If there are a lot of you there must be quite a few! Can you speak French?”
I swallowed another mouthful of the syrupy bread before answering. “We have had maybe a few thousand languages? However we have about twenty major languages that most people speak I think, though I might be generalizing too much. A huge amount of business is in English though, so a lot of people end up learning it. As for the French part I have this to say: Je ne parle pas beaucoup de français .”
“Oh that sounded cool! What did that mean?” she asked as she bounced a little.
“I don't speak much French. Literally it means that. Also, it's been years since I was asked to speak it, so I might have butchered that too.”
She simply laughed as I asked about the soundproofing of this room.
“Oh! Well Octavia was complaining how loud my music was, so I had the purple pony Twilight Sparkle look up a spell in order to soundproof my room! It worked out well don'tcha think?”
I agreed, but my head caught up with my drowsiness and I asked where I could sleep. She used her magic to move a bunch of paper away from a massive pile. The pile happened to be hiding a sizable couch that looked big enough for me to sleep on. “I'd get you a blanket, but I doubt that it would cover you well.”
I took off my shirt, tossed it on the couch and laid down, my headache lessened quite a lot now that I was resting a bit. “Nah it's good for now.” I told her, “Thanks again for letting me stay here, it means a lot.”
She spun in her chair, “It's no problem, really. The other ponies can be quite discriminating when it comes to opening up to other ponies. We have a zebra who lives out in the Everfree Forest, a very nice zebra too who rhymes everything. I bet if you were to write a story with her in it, you'd be getting a headache just from thinking of rhymes for her to say. She's that good.”
“Zecora, I know who you are talking about.” I said with my eyes closed.
I heard some shuffling of a chair beside me and I could feel her sitting beside me on the couch. “Oh yeah, how are those books anyways?”
Books? Oh yeah, the cover story for the TV show. “They are pretty good, nicely written and the pictures are well-drawn too.”
There was a distinct pause. “Was I in them?” she asked quite softly, as if embarrassed for some reason.
I opened one eye and looked at her. “Yup, everyone knew you. You didn't show up a lot to be honest, but when you did all of the fans of the book were happy to see you. You seemed to be well-known and a lot of people believe you are a huge techno artist as well named DJ Pon-3. Though you weren't a huge character, so people had fun making back-stories for ponies such as you, Octavia, Lyra and a bunch of other ponies.”
She smiled a bit, “Pon-3 eh? Not bad. Well, what are some of the made up stories about me? They say anything bad?”
“Well, a few of them are quite small. You had pure blood-red eyes for a while because nobody thought you took off your glasses!”
“Anything bigger than that?”
I smiled in a way I hoped to be quite sinister, “Now I am perfectly fine with it if you are, but some people... well some think you are in a romantic and very sexual relationship with Octavia.”
With the embarrassed and defensive body language she was displaying, you could probably assume that she was a bit more than best friends but she quickly put out that fire. “I prefer stallions over mares! Besides even if I was... I think Octavia is a good pony but totally a prude.” amongst other defensive sentences she flung at me. I quickly raised my hands to calm her down a bit.
“It was made up!” I re-assured her as much as possible, “I said before, it was a thought that was made up by the fans and they were fine with it. I wouldn't judge you even if it was a one-time thing because you were both wasted. So calm down on that alright?”
“Okay, no problemo! So, anything bad about me?”
I decided to skip the whole 'does drugs' thing and simply asked “Well, some think you like drinking, but that is common in the world I live in so it isn't a big thing. You get wasted often?”
“Wasted? You mean really dunk?” I shook my head. “Well not all the time, but I do like drinking with friends, you should come one time! I am sure Lyra would love you, I am actually quite sure she mentioned something about humans once now that I am thinking of it.”
I agreed and we made small talk for a while, but my sleepiness was getting a hold of me and she excused herself, thanking me for dinner. I replied that it was no problem and that I would cook anytime and she told me that she was going to hold me to that.
So all in all re-life was good and for once in what felt like forever, I was able to close my eyes of my own accord. I was able to have a roof over my head, a way to access my old music and a way to at least give something back to somepony for living in this world. Most importantly – and I don't care how sappy this sounded – I had a friend and her name was Vinyl Scratch.
Star yawned a bit as she read through into the afternoon. Feeling a rumbling in her stomach she ate another apple as she rolled onto her back, staring up at the cold ceiling as he mind wandered. She knew Keeper had met the six ponies that held the elements of Harmony, that was in the history books written by Twilight herself. However to have such a personal account with the being was still startling to read, even if some parts she couldn't comprehend. She decided to take a quick break from reading to wake her up a little bit.
Star Sign jumped off of the bed to examine the wall that was opposite the exterior wall. She noticed that there were curtains in the room, but they weren't blocking out the sun since they were on the wrong side. She pushed aside the fabric and opened her eyes in shock.
It was a massive cavern, hundreds of metres tall! Sunlight filtered in through the cracks in the ceiling. Stalactites and stalagmites poked around here and there but the main scenery was truly astounding. Trees and vines covered most of the centre area, and she could make out a main path that lead from the back of the cave to the... front? The path that she could barely make out seemed to appear to be entering into the main hall of the Keep. It didn't make sense because she entered through the main hall and it only lead up to the library where she found the journals!
She ran out of the room and down all the flights of stairs to the main floor. Passing the library she thought she saw something move. Skidding to a halt she looked into the old room. Nothing had changed since she was in there. The fire was still slowly burning and some of her supplies were lying by it. Shaking her head she continued to the main hall.
She didn't take a good look into the main hall of Keeper's castle when she arrived due to her focusing on her mission. From the main doors there was a few stone support pillars that lead up to an old and crumbling throne. The walls were made up of stone that was moulded to the walls with cement or something. Beside the old chair was the staircase that she just had come down through, leading up along the side of the mountain and apparently in between the side and the interior. Nothing much was still here, and it was a huge contrast to the library and the other rooms. This room was mostly in ruins, as if nothing was taking care of it.
Moving to where she thought the entrance to the cave was, she prodded and poked the wall. There wasn't anything to indicate that there was more to the castle than this main room. She looked around, thinking back to some of the novels she read when she was a foal growing up. Thinking back to it she remembered that some of them were written by Keeper too. She looked around for a stick or rod.
Seeing a rusting spear holding a tattered banner sticking out of a wall, she used her magic to lift it out of it's supports. She then backed away from the wall and rammed the base of the old weapon into the wall. It made a solid impact 'tink' sound of metal on stone. The sound echoed through the keep for a few seconds. She reared the spear again and slammed the wall. TINK. Sighing she moved a bit further across the wall. TINK. Getting more frustrated she hit the wall again. TINK. She swung again, seeming to run out of wall to test.
THOCK.
She hit it again.
THOCK.
Well that certainly sounded hollow. She used less force to figure out where the shape of the door was. Smacking it more and more she tried to feel if there was any faults in the stone wall. Unfortunately there was none. Sighing in frustration for more than the fourth time in ten minutes she concentrated. Using her magic she applied pressure to the wall, stone brick by boring brick. She felt one start to give way, and she applied more pressure to it. It slid into the wall with a loud 'click'.
Star Sign moved back as the stones she prodded at swung backwards like a door. Poking her head through the wall she saw the stones that lead into the trees. She galloped back up the stairs taking an old torch from the wall in the library as her heart raced faster and faster by the minute. She thrust the flammable stick into the fire and moved down the stairs a bit slower so her torch didn't go out.
She lead with the torch into the darkness. Into a place where in hindsight, she should have brought the guards. Into a place where nopony had stepped in almost a hundred years.
With actions similar to a certain human, she jumped into the darkness not knowing where it lead.
-=Pulse=-
A My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic Tale
-=Part 4: *“She is mine!” *
Star Sign slowly stepped over an exposed root that had grown over the main path of the walkway she was on. Soon after discovering the cavern her excitement turned into caution. That in itself slowly turned into apprehension and some fear as she kept going. Her torch only illuminated so much into the gloom, and the sun that was seeping in through the cracks seemed to be covered up by something. She tried to discern what could be blocking the light from above but it was simply too far to make out and the sun wasn't high enough.
She came across a pedestal with some black goo inside of it. She poked at it with the torch and it instantly caught on fire, lighting up a bit more of her pathway. She looked around and noticed she missed a few while walking in the dark. Backtracking seemed to be something that was increasingly common in Keeper's place. Lighting her way made it a bit faster going through the cavern and Star finally made it to the centre courtyard. It was a seating area made mostly for ponies, though there obviously was seating for Keeper too.
She took Keeper's seat and looked around the giant cavern. Trees and moss where growing everywhere and it seemed more like a half-made swamp than an underground paradise. Bits of dead flowers were strewn about the place possibly hinting at a time where it was more lush and green. She turned her attention to the centre of the courtyard.
A large table was the centrepiece of the platform. Around the outer edge there were multiple carvings of different objects and ponies. There were larger bits that symbolized the elements of harmony, with the sun and the moon on the sides. She also noticed two markings that didn't seem to make any sense to be placed there, a “D” and on the other side there was an “N”. She studied the symbols a but more but nothing of importance came from it.
Considering how the only thing she could hear was the crackling of the flames as they burned, she found it safe enough to take a reading break. Looking around the cavern, she could hear nothing but the cackling of a few sparks and embers from the flames. She was safe, she was absolutely sure of it. Curiosity was really getting to her as well. Maybe his journal spoke of this place? Only one way to find out.
It was strange, I thought for a second that it was all a dream. I expected to wake up on my couch with a killer hangover and a blinking TV. Instead I was staring into black, a few lights blinking in the dark. I groaned and sat up feeling along the wall for a light while I shook the sleepiness from my head. I felt way more refreshed and I was in a way better mood. I was alive! That in itself was enough to make me look forward to the day, even if it wasn't going to be filled with ponies and I woke up in my room.
I walked through the house to find it empty. Vinyl must have been out doing something. I found a piece of paper and looked around for a pen or something. Instead, I found an inkwell and a quill in the den for writing. I used the note I was going to write as practice for it. It must have been Octavia's, the quill had 'fancy' written all over it. I made a quick note explaining that I was going to go visit Twilight, then walk around Ponyville plus the outskirts to get the lay of the land.
I decided to leave my jacket behind since it was summer, but I thought it was best to keep my folded knife on my person. Shenanigans always seemed to happen in Ponyville and I felt like being a bit more cautious. After I took a few bits out of my bag I left the house looking forward to the first day in Ponyville. I remembered that I didn't have a key to the house after about five steps from the front step. I ran back inside the house, locked the door from the inside and slipped out a side window hoping that was good enough for Vinyl. I couldn't remember if I have heard of any thefts from homes in the show though.
Walking away from Vinyl's house I made my way across Ponyville. Everypony was out and about doing whatever their jobs were. I quite frankly was terrible with names, and I don't think I could remember most of their names. Back on Earth I had enough trouble remembering people I just met. Oh your name is Chris? Well good fucking luck asking me to remember it. I felt a little bit hungry and decided that I would go to the pony in town who knew everybody.
Sugarcube corner was easy to spot, even if it wasn't shaped like a sugar-nut's dream come true. If looking like a compressed Willy Wonka factory wasn't enough, the most delicious smells of pies and cakes came from the store. Today seemed like a more quiet day and I assumed it was the middle of the week. I remembered that I never asked to see if calendars worked the same. I kept on pondering this, that is until I was almost knocked off my feet by an orange, white, and yellow blur. Three fillies were so preoccupied with riding out their sugar high that they didn't even notice me as they ran off into the distance.
“I am so sorry about that. Did you see how fast they went? They almost made a Crusader-boom, or maybe a Cutie Crash! I swear I didn't feed them that much sugar, well maybe a small amount of a lot of icing. Do you have sugar where you come from? What about chimichangas? What about cherries? Come in come in no need to stand at the door! You can point out the stuff you have as well! Follow me!” Pinkie Pie just annihilated my brain in quick succession of questions.
Following her into the bakery I was assaulted with more and more questions as I tries to answer them as much as I could. Seriously, my own mother had ADHD and she wasn't all over the place like this. I was able to answer most of the questions with a simple “yes” and was able to squeeze in more when I could. I figured that unless they made a molasses and brown sugar nuke, I could be open.
Looking through the dozens of delicious-looking pastries and pies, I didn't see what I actually wanted: a cinnamon bun. This was an absolute travesty since I used to work at a Cinnabon at one time in my life on Earth. After I worked there I actually made buns mostly for my family at home until I moved out. After relaying this information to Pinkie Pie, she stopped her story about something that Twilight blew up and exclaimed that “this tragedy must be fixed!” It was fine that she stopped her story, I was far from listening to her anyways. “This is a desperate time! We must use drastic measures in such a difficult moment!” she declared as she stood on her hind legs and pointed out to an invisible crown on her head, “I am officially naming you my assistant until the situation is normal!”
“It is an honour chef!” I saluted her. I decided that I was going to have fun with it. “Now let us be off to the stock to see what we have to use!”
The next two hours were spent making cinnamon rolls and icing. It was an insanely good time, and I did get messy doing it. It was also a tiny bit strange for me. Most stories I have read about with Anon in Equestria always turned out different from this. Discord or whoever was tied to some sort of Prophecy that only a being from another world could exist or something and needed to be stopped. All I have done is spent some time helping a techno-pony get better and was in the process of making cinnamon buns with Pinkie. I haven't even tried to jam my junk in Pinkie's fun-box yet. Anonymous would be so disappointed.
Funny enough, sex wasn't much on my mind anyways. Trans-dimensional travel with a near-death experience does wonders for reducing your libido for a while. Plus I was for the most part into the humanized stuff anyways back home. However there was one point where I got some icing on my cheek and before I could wipe it off, Pinkie licked it off my cheek with a “Ohhh! Sweet and sticky!”. That almost caused the bakery to explode in a spaghetti-nuke that would have brought the end of days to Equestria.
Soon enough I was munching away on a freshly-made cinnamon roll with my newest friend. Pinkie pie spent a little bit of time going over the new treat in front of her. Pinkie soon enough ate a piece and then lit up like a firecracker. She started describing the pastry in great detail, then she started telling me on some things she would improve for the next batch she made. Seems like she was a good baker after all. As I finished I got a few bits from my pocket.
“Oh no silly! Friends don't have to pay when I am on shift and making things! Especially when they are here for the first time!” she adamantly refused payment.
“I would feel better paying for the ingredients we used at least.” I mentioned, trying to compensate her.
She leaned in close to me as if she was going to spill secrets that would jeopardize Equestria's national security or something. “Trust me, as soon as you leave my store is going to be filled with ponies wanting what's been baking. We are going to sell so many of these new treats! Thanks so much for sharing these with me. I should be getting you a present for coming into Ponyville! Not the other way around!”
Turning in my seat slowly I noticed about fifteen ponies milling about outside trying to make it obvious they wanted to know what was baking yet trying to look busy. They definitely knew I was inside and they probably wanted to avoid me as much as possible. Oh well. I turned back only to see Pinkie take more out of the oven. When did she make a second batch? I didn't even see her make more.
“Well go on Keeper! Don't worry about me! Oh Twilight wanted to tell me that she wanted to talk to you in the afternoon. Thanks for being my assistant! I might even say you were better than Spike when he is helping Twilight! See-ya! I gotta get back to work, and we are gonna be buuuusssyyy!”
Then there I was, outside of Sugarcube Corner as if nothing happened. I made sure I waved to the ponies that were waiting for me to leave though. I took a little bit of pleasure knowing that they had to wave back just out of plain courtesy. I chuckled to myself as I made my way to the outskirts of Ponyville.
Walking along the road near Everfree forest I stretched my arms out. It was really relaxing to be honest, knowing that you didn't have work the next day or that you didn't have to work much at all. Certainly everypony DID work hard at their jobs, but they seemed to be so happy at it all that barely mattered. I briefly wondered what I could be before I stopped at the entrance to Everfree Forest after walking over a small bridge that was on a river.
I thought of all the things I have seen from the actual forest in the show. Cockatrice that could turn me into stone, Timberwolves actually made of wood and that blank pony thing I once played in a flash and even more. I decided to take a walk along the outside of the forest, just to play on the safe side.
Walking along the forest, I was able to be beside a crystal-clear river as well. I started walking towards a mountain, and noticed the faint image of Canterlot castle behind it. I tried to recall the map I once saw of Equestria. There was a small lake to the east of Ponyville, but I hadn't come up to it yet. Beside that was a small mountain range and to the north was Canterlot. I continued to walk along the river until I actually came across the lake.
The map in my head was certainly not to scale as the lake was huge. I just kept up my hike through the late morning as the sun was slowly starting to get high in the sky. Soon as I saw the last edges of Everfree I noticed something strange in the distance ahead, breaking my thought. It was a small crater that was almost inside the forest, but it wasn't smoking or anything that was usually related to craters.
Running up to it with my knife folded in my hand, I slid to the edge of it. The hole wasn't too deep, only about half a metre and a few metres across. It was what was inside the crater was what really threw me off. It was a pony-like creature which had a carapace that was jet black and wings that were a translucent teal. I knew this creature and I didn't know of what to think. Her horn was chipped and her body was cracked in several places and slowly oozing green fluids. She wasn't moving at all and was covered in small vines that were leading into the forest. Beside her was a broken set of Royal Guard armour and a spear with a broken shaft. The weapon could almost be mistaken for a sword, the top was that long.
As my shadow moved across her face however she immediately opened her eyes and hissed at me. She could barely move her head, but when she saw me she was confused. “What...” she coughed, “What are you? Some sort of illusion in the last moments? Something that Everfree made up to eat me?”
I hopped down in the crater. She was no threat to me at the moment. Even if she could move she was covered in a web-like vine net and she certainly didn't look like she could concentrate on using magic since she could barely speak. Hell, she could have used the spearhead to cut herself out of those vines. “I'm real, and you are real as well. Still living too, how is that going for you?”
“How do you think I am?”
Oh, Queen Cheese Legs is kinda moody. “Well, considering how you had a huge hive and power two days ago, probably not so good eh Chrysalis?”
M...
She looked at me wide-eyed. “You know of me?”
“Get used to it, I'm Keeper, new to this world and Equestria. I know things and I keep things secret and I reveal them at the right time. Now the main thing we need to worry about is you.”
She looked at me and tightened her grip on whatever she was clinging onto. “What do you mean. Out with it! I don't... have the energy to have a meaningless conversation.”
Mi...
Okay Damien we need her to fear us as well as play nice. “I'm deciding if I should leave you to die, rescue you, give you to Celestia...” I narrowed my eyes and leaned in “or just save myself a lot of time and just plain kill you.”
Now I am just going to make this clear: I am not this dominant or alpha the majority of the time. Seriously. I was always a smooth talker and that was a great thing for the sales job that I had before I came here. This however was Chrysalis, Queen of the Changelings. I had to make an impression and it had to be of a big nature. I had to make sure she knew that we were equals in terms of status for the moment. I wasn't under Celestia's rule per-say and she certainly wasn't.
Mine...
The fuck was that? It seemed like a whisper in the wind. “Look, if this was for the Equestrian wedding, I was desperate to save my hive. My hive was too large and we couldn't get enough love to sustain us and I figured that impersonating the queen of love would-” she got cut off from her tiny burst of energy with more coughing.
“'And as queen of the changelings, it is up to me to find food for my subjects.' That about right Chrysalis?” I had seen the episode literally yesterday.
She...
She looked at me stunned again as I got in closer to her. “I swear! It was only to have my hive live! If I was to be free and even if I wasn't one of the last changelings left I never would act out like that again.” She looked down into her legs. “I got almost my entire hive killed with my judgement.”
Mine...
There it was again, I looked up to try to figure out where that faint whispering was coming from. It seemed to come from everywhere at once. I saw what Chrysalis was hiding, a smaller changeling wrapped up in Chrysalis' arms and legs and even more wrapped by the vines. “Come here, closer.” she whispered.
She is...
I got onto my hands and knees to hear what she said. “Look, I gave up before you got here. If you chose not to kill me, you have to help me or I'll die with her. Everfree wants me, or something in the trees does. These vines have been slowly covering us and are going to take us in. I need your help, or I need you to end it quick.”
As she said that, I heard creaking in the trees and the vines on her seemed to almost grow. You know what I said about Anons getting into trouble? This was the kind of shit I didn't want to get involved with. Okay it is either Chrysalis' death by Everfree Spirits, my blade or I free her and whoever the changeling was.
My heart was beating as fast as it was on the bus. My mind raced through all my options as I tried to come up with a plan. My blade could cut through this small vine-like webbing easily enough. However I might need to defend myself against anything once whatever was trying to capture Chrysalis was onto me freeing the changeling Queen.
Then I heard creaking coming towards me. I looked up to see a bunch of sticks and twigs walking through the woods to me. It was a Timberwolf, it looked exactly as it did from the show. A mass of sticks, vines and branches forming into a creature. It reminded me of a Spriggan from Skyrim for a moment, but the yellow smoke coming from its golden eyes really threw my comparison off.
She is mine!
I made my decision then and there. I flicked open my blade and raised it above Chrysalis. Her eyes flashed with fear and I knew from that moment she was telling the truth. She was one to make lies and false stories, but it all made sense and looking into her eyes I knew. I thrust it above her head and into the mass of vines as I did the second most brazenly stupid move I could have done.
I kissed her.
It was one of trust and possible friendship. She was trying to save her race from starving to death and I could understand that. I have read too many stories and seen too much starvation on Earth to know that she needed to do what she deemed was best and it cost her so much. I reached out to her and connected as much as I could. I wanted her to live. She looked at me wide eyed for a second, then kissed back. It was slightly awkward over the differences in our species and I didn't feel like slipping some tongue. She still had those fangs, plus I wasn't really trying to get some tail... flank... whatever.
She stirred as her limbs began to move. I parted from her and rolled to the side as the Timberwolf started to run at us. “You got some juice in you?” She nodded in response, “Start cutting! I'll get us out of here but you need to cut!”
There was a branch near me as I picked it up with enough time to duck under the wolf's jump. A few thorns that must have been in his legs scratched at my face, drawing blood as I stood up to defend myself. I've been in a few fights with humans before and I have lost twice, also won quite a few times as well. I waited for it to strike first as if I was reacting to playing with a dog, albeit with more death and less cuddles.
We circled near the side of the crater and neither of us moving to fight as I saw Chrysalis use her mouth to take hold of my knife. It noticed me looking away and it slammed right into my chest. I jammed the stick into its mouth and fell onto my back. I used the momentum and added weight to toss the wolf over my head. My left hand was cut a bit as the stick was wrenched out of my hands. I got up to my feet to see the wolf flip off of its back and break the branch in his mouth.
I looked around to find another weapon. It detected my vulnerability and attacked again, this time taking swipes at me. I rolled out of the way and winced as my knee hit a rock. I looked down to discover that it wasn't a rock that I had hit, but rather a broken piece of yellow metal. Searching the immediate area I saw the broken spear. The wolf had pounced at me again while trying to get my arm into its jaw. I grabbed its neck and cut myself further in the process as I used my right hand to pick up the broken shaft of the spear.
She is mine! Mine to have!
My next move was something I had only seen in zombie games. I jammed the blade up under the jaw of the Timberwolf and through the bark of its head. A hissing sound escaped the crack in the bark as the yellow smoke dissipated and the wolf's body broke apart into a bundle of sticks.
I crawled as quickly as I could to Chrysalis. She was able to get free and was trying to get her brood member to get up as well. I raced forward and grabbed the blade from her mouth as I just cut around a few more vines before picking the changeling up like a bag. I winced as my left hand was holding the changeling as I helped Chrysalis to her feet. Seeing her without all the vines I saw that the damage was more extensive.
She could barely walk, her legs shaking as she tentatively took a step before falling down. First I folded my knife and slipped it into my pocket. Then I bent down and wrapped my arm around her to lift her up. They say that a hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is braver five minutes longer. I called bullshit on that since I was not feeling like a hero at all and it has only been three minutes tops. I just rescued one of the most wanted beings in Equestria. Hoisting the queen to her feet I helped her walk away from the forest as fast as we could manage.
The forest was not happy and is sounded furious. I was suspecting that it would send more Timberwolves after us so we got the get the hell out of dodge. We put as much distance as we could and moved towards the mountain range to the north of us.
The changeling in my hand wasn't light at all and dug into my hand but I kept walking. Chrysalis was making some more effort into walking but I assumed it was because I was giving her a weird sort of hug as I kept her walking straight. We headed towards a mountain in the distance. We kept on walking until we came across a cave.
“Think anything is living in there?” I asked the changeling Queen.
She groaned in what I assumed was pain rather than distaste of me saving her. “Doesn't... feel like it.”
Not questioning it further I stepped through the mouth of the cave. Placing the changeling down I grabbed a branch from outside and held it to Chrysalis. “Mind lighting this or do I have to kiss you again?”
She sat down next to the tied bug-pony and sighed as she tried to relax. “No need to kiss, a hug would have sufficed for some power. Here...”
With a spark, the top of the stick burst into a green flame. I again wasn't going to question magic and explored the inside of the cave. After stepping through the small tunnel I found a wide cavern with a few broken boxes and ropes. There was also a very old campfire in the middle of the cave. Examining the boxes I was dismayed to find that they were empty and extremely fragile. The wood breaking and flaking off at my touch. I tossed a bunch of the decayed and dry wood into the centre and tossed the torch in and the wood easily crackled to life.
I helped Chrysalis to her feet wand brought her over to the fire, as well as the changeling. She sat down and dozed off as I flicked open my knife and started cutting the vines that were wrapped around the changeling. I tossed the plants into the fire and they crackled as they resisted being burned. Examining the changeling I noticed that it was a female, just by judging on how it looked slightly different from the other ones I saw in the show. It had the softer features of the female ponies in Ponyville, plus actual hair was something as well. Her hair was black and it looked flat like Chrysalis'. Her body also had some cracks in the carapace and she looked terrible. She was at least breathing, which was pretty good considering what could have happened.
“Is she the last one in your brood?” I asked Chrysalis off-hand to see if she was awake.
Silence filled the cavern as the only answer back was “I don't know” that was soft enough to be a whisper.
“Think this cave is safe for you two?”
Chrysalis was able to move a bit more. With some laboured breathing she tried to come up with a theory. “It think it was used for smuggling gems a decade ago. I know Celestia was able to catch some smugglers around here, it would explain the empty crates. She wouldn't be keeping this place under observation. She is overconfident in her time of peace, though I might have shaken it up a bit.”
“I'm new around here, ponies do that under her rule?” I asked, seemed pretty absurd to me.
“There is more to the world than just her little empire. Bandits are common in the badlands, creatures run rampant in her forests. Even the San Palomino Desert is home to some nasty beasts. Yes, some ponies are not loyal.”
She was cut off with a small coughing fit. I thought about it a bit more before I gathered up and broke more wood apart to make a pile. “I don't know how fast this will go. I need to be back in Ponyville before someone thinks I am dead or something. I'll explain who I am tomorrow okay? Think you will be fine overnight?”
She smiled to herself for a few seconds. “I think I'll be okay hero”
I started walking out of the cavern. “I'm not a hero.” I thought I heard “kiss well enough” as I left, but I think that is what my brain wanted me to hear. Seemed good enough to me.
I walked along the outside of the lake on the opposite direction of the crater zone. It took almost just as long, but after crossing a bridge that also had a train track I found myself in Ponyville. I was lost in my thoughts for a while. First I felt truly fucked . There was no way I could get away with this. I had no experience in these matters and I was just making decisions on the fly. After a while I settled on it being at least a small good thing. After all, why should a wedding be marred by a genocide? I figured if I was ever caught it would be a decent enough excuse. What would she do? Kill me? Already been there. Might end up in a Pokemon land or something afterwards, catch a Gardevoir and nail it or something.
I guessed it would be about four in the afternoon when I got into Ponyville. I made sure I washed off the blood and dirt from my face and arms in the lake before I went into town. I did get a few more looks than this morning, but a dirty shirt would do that. I should try to see Rarity at some point in the next few days.
“Whoa Keeper, are you okay?” a purple unicorn asked me.
“Got in a fight with a couple of sticks. I won.” I said to Twilight, who came up to walk alongside me.
She looked at me weird. “What do you mean? Sticks don't fight. Mind if we talk, I want to get some research done on you as soon as possible!”
“No problem, and you get in a fight with sticks when they are shaped like wolves.” I said calmly like it was absolutely nothing. “By the way, your forest sucks.”
She paused a bit before she shook her head and came running up to me. “Wait you got attacked by a Timberwolf?”
I saw her tree-house library, “Yep, not as impressive as our timber wolves. Actual wolves, not timber. I shanked the thing in the skull and it killed it pretty well.” I flicked my knife open to show her.
“Well you are more taller than us so you had advantages. Nice to know that you can handle yourself without magic. Does the Princess know you have that?” she said with some concern.
I shrugged. “She went though all my clothes while I was in the hospital, not too hard to figure out what it is for. I used it to cut cardboard boxes at my old job.” That was a partial truth.
She stopped and opened her door and I had to duck under it a little. This thing had to be like a Tardis, it had way more space in it than outside. I claimed bullshit on the levels of magic that existed in this world. Sighing I followed her into the middle of her little house. I could easily see her bed from where I stood and I was surrounded by books, there was even a stack the size of my height.
“Whoa! She wasn't kidding when she said you were huge!” a baby dragon said.
“Who? Celestia or Twilight?” he looked at me with wide eyes. Was it because I forgot the 'princess' part or the fact that I could speak? “I mean, Princess Celestia. Getting hard to remember I am in a country with a monarchy.”
“That's actually what I wished to talk to you about! I need to record as much as you can remember about your world! You are the first inter-dimensional being we have had in a long time and the first human ever!”
In a long time? That implied that there was at least more that went in between dimensions. “You've seen more?”
“Not me, but a few book reference a few other beings here and there. They might be legends of course, even Princess Celestia didn't know about them.” she said matter-of-factually as she arranged her chair and magically gave me a pillow to sit on.
“Any idea of Discord is one?”
“A theory, but we think not. Thought it is a really good one.”
“Has Pinkie ever said 'Okie Doki Loki'?” I questioned.
She thought for a bit before telling me Pinkie says it a few times. “Funny how she says that. In one of our older civilizations, one of their gods was Loki. He was known as the god of mischief. Now how much do you want to know, I do have to keep some to myself.”
“Actually, I'm under orders from the Princess to be silent about things that you say. Here, see this.” She handed me a somewhat charred note.
Dear Keeper,
I am giving this note to tell you that Twilight Sparkle is authorized to gather information on your origins and world. This is a rare moment to see what lies beyond the beyond and she will not spill secrets or I'll be severely disappointed. She will also compensate you for your time. If there is anything you need, feel free to message me through Spike and I'll try to accommodate you.
That “severely disappointed” part was obviously directed to Twilight. Princess must have known she would have read the letter.
Also, I am not sure if you know about my sister Luna; Princess of the Night. She is very interested in meeting you and I sincerely hope that you two will get along nicely .
Well that sounded like it had a very underhanded message to it.
I hope you have safe lodgings and that the ponies are treating you well,
Signed, Princess Celestia. Monarch of – yada yada yada. Standard formal finishing of a letter from a Princess.
“Well if the Princess says so, then it will be. Spike, I hate to be a bother but could you please get me a stack of paper and some ink? Thanks a ton.” I said to him.
As Twilight and I talked, I drew as she recorded what I was telling her. She would ask me questions specifically about the more science side of Earth and even though I wasn't the best scientifically minded I still answered to the best of my ability. The stuff I could sketch out for her, I did for clarification on some things.
I put some finishing touches and possible measurements on what I was drawing. “Well you guys have cannons and spears but that is all good for ponies. I'm looking into more human-based weapons. You have firearms?”
“We experimented with powders and such, but we have no need for them. Magic usually does what a buck doesn't.” Twilight said. “Recoil was an issue as well. Only magic users could use them and well... have magic. Kind of took out the need for those weapons. We have Magic, pegasi could call in thunder and earth ponies could just buck or use pole-arms. Earth ponies are scarily accurate with them as well, as if they have their own brand of magic.”
We talked well into the afternoon and I was treated to potato soup from Spike. It was actually really good and I asked if I was imposing if I wanted seconds. I ended up having fourths and Spike was delighted that I loved his food. To be fair the bowls were kinda small. The potatoes were perfectly firm however which was certainly great. My sister tried out making potato soup once and the potatoes were barely keeping their form when she was finished.
“I don't mind that you are eating it, but don't you have good food back on Earth?” she asked me as I sat back.
“We have tons of food from all sort of different cultures. It is just...” I paused to just savour the feeling of hot soup in me. “I lived alone, I didn't have time to make good home-cooked meals. Actually that's a lie. I was just lazy. Why put time into a good meal when you can be fed by cheap pizza? I took too much time off cooking. I probably will have more time now though, I just really miss home-cooked meals. Mass production of meals really do work against you sometimes.”
“I still can't get over how you have millions of people living in one country, let alone seven billion in your world!” she paused for a second. “What about your parents?” She said, looking slightly concerned for me for some reason.
“I had a dream of living in a certain part of the world and I moved there. My family stayed when I left, we all were happy though. My parents thought it was great that I was following my dreams. Your parents are proud of you even though you are in a different city though right?”
She blushed and looked away, “Well how about we talk more about your world Keeper? How about we start easy instead of bouncing around? Just describe to me what you would do in a normal day and we will go from there.”
I doubted that. “Twilight, you do realize that my world differs a lot from yours and that everything I see, do or touch in twenty-four hours is going to be a hell of a lot to record right?”
“Well I figured that! I will make entries based on each thing and make an index on each new thing you tell me. Then I can start making a glossary of terms and a dictionary only on the human world! Then we can just go over definitions later!” She said, seemingly proud of herself for thinking up of an idea like that.
“Well, good idea, nice to know you thought up of everything like that. You really are quite the student.” I praised her.
“Don't encourage her, it goes straight to her head.” Spike said as he got my bowl.
Twilight scoffed and retorted “Don't you have some cleaning to do Spike? I am the Princess' student and I like hearing a compliment every once in a while.”
He mimed that he was being squished, “The ego! I don't think there is enough in this tree for us and it!”
I laughed as he left smiling. Annoyed, Twilight adjusted her papers and muttered something about him wetting his bed to which he mentioned something about her exploding a house. We began and I went on about how I normally did my day as if I was talking to a human. She was scribbling away at her papers as she listened to me. The look on her face as she wrote everything down was just like Vinyl's when I taught her my music.
“...then I turn off my television and go to bed. Sometimes drunk off my ass.” I finished.
“Sweet Celestia that is a lot of stuff.” Twilight just might have swore then, I have no idea.
“Hey you brought it on yourself.” I laid back on her floor resting my head as Twilight fell back on her plot.
“You weren't kidding though. It is going to take a lot to get through all of this. We are also going to be taking a lot of time to define more things that get brought up when you explain all of these things to me.”
“Well you might need to order more paper then,” I suggested. “I'm not going anywhere, so would a few hours everyday be fine for you? Take weekends off and such. We still can have time to meet up with friends and such and I can stop by before I sleep or something. Whatever is good for you.”
We set up some time and she thanked me again. I fist-bumped Spike since he didn't have hooves and thanked him for the fantastic soup. As he beamed Twilight did an impression of her being crushed by Spike's ego. “Yeah that's only funny when I do it.” he said as he yawned. “I'm hitting the sack early.”
I looked up into the sky and noticed the sun was going down. “Well I gotta go, Vinyl should be wondering where I am at the moment.”
Walking home was pretty calm and nice. A few unicorns were running around lighting lanterns here and there as streetlights. I was tall enough I could look closer at them. When they were lighting the lamps, they were actually poking a crystal with magic to cause the light. That was actually really cool. I wished I could toss a few of those into my home if I ever got one.
The night was perfect though, and after a few minutes there were thousands of stars in the sky and you got a view that you simply couldn't beat. I was going to think that it was lucky weather but I remembered that pegasi did a lot of the weather work around here. Either way I simply said “thanks for the good night Luna” and went on my way home.
The lights were off so I assumed Vinyl was either knocked out on her bed or downstairs working away. I opened the door and walked in taking my time to make sure that I was quiet so I didn't wake Vinyl u-
“Surprise!” the voices of a few ponies yelled out as the lights blinked on.
I looked around the living room. Quite a few ponies were there. Rarity, Applejack, Lyra, Rainbow Dash, Vinyl, Bonbon, Big Macintosh, Twilight Sparkle, and of course Pinkie Pie all were around a cake. “What's this for?” I asked dumbfounded.
“Why it's your 'Welcome to Ponyville and a whole other dimension' party silly! Not everyone gets to come here from another world so we need a party to celebrate it!” Pinkie said as she ran up and gave me a one-arm hug. “Plus I wanted to thank you for the rolls! They were so popular that Mrs. Cake is making them a permanent item!”
“Sup Keeper. Have a good day? You look trashed.” Vinyl asked.
I reassured her I'm fine and I'd tell her the story later. I started to cut the cake and gave pieces to all the ponies in the room. I walked around and introduced myself to the ponies that I hadn't technically introduced myself to while the others caught up with each other. “Hey, how are ya? Didn't expect to see you here Big Macintosh.” I said as I shook Big Mac's hoof.
“Well buck my trees, you do know a lot don'tcha Keeper? Mah sis' has been goin' on about how ya'll came from another place 'n' all and I just had ta meetcha face ta face.” Mac flawlessly said in a completely stereotypical accent.
“Now brother I haven't been goin' on about it.” Applejack said somewhat embarrassed.
“Well it's always a pleasure to meet someone from the Apple family,” I replied. “I plan on coming down to the farm to find a bit of work if that is alright with you.”
“Well ah reckon you could do a few things. Tryin' to find yer place?” he spoke just as slow too.
“I am. Figuring a helping hand would be okay if you know what I mean.” I said opening and closing my hand. “Height is a thing on my side too.”
We shook on it and I told him I would come by next week after I settled in. I went over to Lyra and Bonbon who were chatting with Vinyl. “Hey girls, mind if I introduce myself?” I said as I held my hand out. “I'm Keeper, nice to meet you!”
Not surprisingly enough Lyra was the first to shake my hand. “I'm Lyra Heartstrings and that there is Bonbon! We are so pleased to meet you Keeper I have heard so much about you from Vinyl!” Oh boy calm down there kitten.
I shook Bonbon's hand, who seemed slightly distracted trying to make sure that Lyra didn't explode. “She's had a lot of sugar! Yes, just a sugar rush that is all,” she awkwardly laughed a bit.
We all made small talk for a while and I actually got along with them. I parted ways and actually got a slice of my own cake. It was cherry flavoured with white vanilla icing that tasted a lot like the icing I used for the cinnamon buns. I made small talk with Twilight, who ran over here as fast as she could after I left in order to make it. She was talking to Rarity when I interrupted. Rarity looked like she was going to have a heart attack when she noticed my dirty shirt. “Darling, is that blood?”
“I scratched myself, I wiped a bit off on the bottom of my shirt.” I pointed to my face. “It's cool though, you free anytime soon for me to buy a few clothes from you?”
“Oh for a case like yours I simply must spare some time for you!” she looked mortified. “Though I have to say I haven't seen a species that is so adamant on wearing clothes all the time.”
“Keeper explained it to me. It's a cultural thing, goes back thousands of years.” Twilight looked absolutely thrilled to share that knowledge.
“Well with all those clothes you must have some decent designs I can borrow from. Mind if you come by at your earliest convenience?”
“Thanks I guess. Tomorrow after I take my walk?”
“It would be my pleasure darling.” The time was set.
“Hey Keeper, I have a day off from weather patrol in a few days, wanna hang? I can show you some new flying moves!” Rainbow Dash said as she circled me, poking my shoulder.
I agreed and talked to her a bit about flying and weather control for a while before I broke off and casually moved between ponies. Applejack did break out some hard cider after a while and we all started drinking. After a while we were pretty relaxed around each other. Twilight asked if I knew any good stories and I thought for a bit on what I could tell them. After some thinking I told them about the 'cursed dragon's paw' that gave wishes that were twisted. It was something on what I kinda remembered as the premise of the monkey paw story but I added my own details. They all enjoyed it though and I made the moral of it to be thankful for what you have instead of what you wish you had. I even added a creepy part of the main character wishing that their son was back from the dead only to have a zombie in their house. That really did creep them out.
After a lot more alcohol and a few impromptu songs later which included me singing a slightly modified “No Rest for the Wicked” from Cage the Elephant, we all winded down for the evening. Twilight escorted Pinkie and Rarity home while Bonbon dragged Lyra out. “But Sweetie Drops...” she almost was whining as she left with a mention of 'hands'. Mac took Applejack home and Dash flew off into the clouds. I did mention about drinking and flying but apparently she decided to ignore me. Not like I could stop her anyways with her flying and all.
Vinyl and I spent time cleaning up. She seemed a little on edge though, always taking a look my way. “Hm? You need something Vinyl?”
She looked away as she picked up an empty liquor bottle, “I am just... well you got attacked by a timber wolf. Twilight told me. You don't have any magic and you can't buck like an earth pony. I'm just... well I want to know if you are okay.”
Well she did have a right to be concerned, I've been here for a day and got hit by a wolf. Even if she didn't know about Chrysalis it still is a big thing. “It's just, I kinda feel like you are my responsibility and all. You are new in Ponyville and I want you to be happy and okay but dude, that's pretty intense to be attacked and all.” She took a second and smiled, “plus you still have so much of that music in your head! Shame if you died before I could get all of it. I just wanna make sure you are okay.”
I laughed with her and knelt down beside her and held out my hand. “Hoof.”
She looked confused, “You aren't going to propose to me are ya?”
“No it's worse, I'm going to be sappy and slightly inebriated.” I winked.
“Well fuck, get on with it,” she giggled as she gave me her hoof.
I held her hoof over my heart. “Feel that?” I asked and she nodded. “That's my pulse. As long as I have that I'm alive, and I'm okay. Don't worry about me as long as I got a pulse alright?”
She rolled her eyes. “Fiiiinne. But you gotta be more careful. Get yourself something to protect yourself with if you are going to go off to piss off a few wolves. Just promise you won't bring an Ursa Major into Ponyville and I promise to stop worrying about you.” She emphasized the 'you' with a poke to my chest. “Don't need you dying on me. Princess would be pissed if you couldn't even stay alive long enough for Octavia to meet you.”
I got to my feet and finished up the cleaning. “It's fine, have you thought about how you are going to explain to Octavia how you let a being from another planet stay at your house?”
“Compared to me, she is totally from another planet. It's okay, I'll just wing it.”
“How are you gonna wing it when you are a unicorn?” I teased.
“You know what I mean Keeper. I'm going to bed before I do something stupid like convey my feelings more.” she wavered a bit before she started up the stairs.
I laughed and wished her a good sleep and moved my way downstairs. As I did I just-
“Hi!” a squeaky voice and a bunch of purple eyes blinked in front of Star Sign as she looked up from Keeper's book.
“Hello” she said without a second thought. However it clicked in her mind she just said hello to eight purple eyes suspended above her.
“Fucking fuck!” she scrambled back as she tried to get away from her surprise guest. “What the fuck are you?” she said as she prepared offensive and defensive spells.
“I'm a spider!” it said in a cheerful-high pitched voice. “You're cute!”
She could clearly see it was a spider, however it was five feet tall . It was black and grey furred with white markings all over it. It's mouth clicked as it talked a bit and it's hairy legs poked and wrapped around the long coil of silk it was hanging from. It was the biggest spider that she had ever seen it just called her cute .
She didn't exactly know how to take it.
It clearly wasn't hostile to her, so she collected herself and stood up straight. “Well spider, how long have you been here?”
“I've been here for a long, long time!” it happily said in its very disproportionately high voice. “Keeper had assigned me to the protection of this place for as long as I am alive!”
That was a long time, but she still didn't get the answer she really intended. “I mean, how long have you been watching me?”
“Well, you did come in and I was going to do some spooky things to mess with you for you to leave. However something about you seemed familiar even though I haven't met you before. So as you were exploring the throne room I put some wood by the fireplace in case if you got cold and made Keeper's bed. I know he isn't here to use it and I figured you could use it to sleep on! Oh I hope he doesn't mind whenever he appears again. That would be really bad if he got mad.” the spider seemed very worried at displeasing Keeper.
“You know where he left to or when he is coming back?” Star asked.
“I am so sorry but I am afraid I have absolutely no clue!” the spider said. “I am sure he would love to meet a cute pony like you though!” it twirled a little in the air.
She sighed deeply to herself as she calmed down from being scared. She felt a tiny bit better knowing that the mystery of the webbing was gone; but she didn't like the fact that the spider had been watching her the whole time. “I'm Star Sign, do you have a name spider?”
“That is my name! First name Spider last name Bro! I'm Spider Bro! Call me Spider or Spiderbro, either-slash-or!” he snipped the silky thread and thumped to the ground.
“Well Spiderbro I am pleased to meet you. I wish you introduced yourself sooner!”
“I would but I had to make sure you were nice! I sometimes see creatures coming in from the forest and I have to make sure that they don't try to make this place their home. I scare the little ones away and I eat the larger ones!” He did a little pantomime of scaring small things and eating larger beasts.
She hesitated to ask the obvious question, “You don't eat ponies do you?”
It shook its head. “I don't try to! Some attack me after they find me and I have no choice to! I don't eat them though, Keeper made sure he taught me that.”
She figured she should get more information out of Spider. He certainly seemed to like the conversation and she paced lightly since her nerves were still slightly shot. “When you last saw Keeper, how was he? Was he healthy? Was he happy?”
Spiderbro paused for a moment to collect his thoughts. “Why yes! He was going to meet up with Luna for a late dinner, or would that be an early breakfast for her?” He seemed even more in concentration. “He came back from a funeral and said he was going to come here for a nap and that I could go off exploring for the day. He never appeared again after that.”
Spider seemed quite sad as he said that. It had been a hundred years or so since he had had someone to talk to. He probably felt quite lonely. “You mind telling me how old he was? Did he show any major signs of age?”
Spider brightened a little at the fact he was having a conversation. “Actually he didn't look any different since when I had met him, and that is about a hundred and fifty years ago at least!”
“Really? You are over a hundred years old? Spiders don't live that long. How can you still be that old?”
“Magic.” It said simply. Keeper was right, magic is complete bullshit sometimes. “I told you how old I was, how old are you?”
“I'm eighteen.” she told him. “I don't want to think you are all alone, have you had any visitors over the years?”
He started to play with a sizable branch in his hands. “Actually yes! Two ponies came by maybe twenty years ago. They used to visit me all the time, but they told me that they were going to go away for a very ling time. I asked them if they were leaving like Keeper did. They said that Keeper was lost, not gone, and that they were going to find him. I really hope they do. They have been gone for quite some time too. You remind me of them with the way you move and such.”
“Who were they?”
“They told me not to tell. Keeper knew them and they were very good friends of his. I listened to them too because they were always very nice to me. They weren't as cute as you though.”
“So what are you going to do now?” she asked her final question.
Spider danced a little in a circle, “I'm going to be your friend! I haven't had one in such a long time and it would be nice to do something again! I'll keep the wood stocked and make sure that no beasties get in while you do stuff. Wait.” Spiderbro paused his dancing and scratched his head with an arm. “What exactly is a cute pony like you doing here?”
Star Sign just realized that she didn't even tell him her goal, let alone Spiderbro actually catching on to he plan! Surely he must be interested in it since he was going on about Keeper. She told him all that she knew so far and that she needed to find Keeper soon. He did a little twirl and then started to move back to the wall to climb up to what she presumed was his nest on the ceiling. Before he left he did ask her to keep his presence a secret, especially if she knew mean ponies that weren't cute.
Scurrying away into the partial darkness, she could barely see Spider's large form crawl up the walls before being illuminated by the setting sky. She picked up her books and made a trip back to the library. It was weird walking through the keep now. Knowing that she had something protecting her rather than hunting her was reassuring though. Then again. A monster spider thinking you are cute was still unnerving in her mind.
She levitated a candle to see in the library again. Lifting the books she had read from her bag, she slid them into the right order. Spider interrupted her on the last page of the journal so it didn't mass up her research. She took a few more books out and made her way back upstairs to Keeper's bedroom. She knew that Princess Celestia had Keeper's “Encyclopedia on Earth” in her room. Now that she knew more strange things about Earth, she really wished she could read it too for more of an understanding.
She laid out on the bed and tried to relax. It was getting late and she was running out of food. She would have to leave late tomorrow. She truly didn't want to though. She was peering into two worlds when she read Keeper's experiences; first being his Earthly views on Equestria and then her experiencing Equestria as well in the past.
She also loved his keep. His library was huge and his central area must have been absolutely beautiful at one point. His bedroom was nice and big and by Celestia his bed was amazing. She relaxed more into the pillows and soon sleep overtook her.
View Online
“I'll have you know I am quite good at cards.”
-=Pulse=-
A My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic Tale
-=Part 5: *“I'll have you know I am quite good at cards.” *
Star Sign was woken up by a light prodding on her side. It almost felt like someone was poking her with a stick. “Ow! What...” she blinked awake to see a giant fuzzy blob in front of her.
“Ms. Sign, Spike is here to see you! It's been such a long time since I have seen him! He is really big now! He almost didn't recognize me at first and almost set me on fire! However once he told me that he was looking for you I told him where you were!” Spiderbro excitedly started jumping, making loud thumping noises. “He's not as cute as he was before...”
“M'up” she mumbled to the spider before realizing that Spike was here. Spike was here! She raced down the stairs with the massive tarantula following her.
She skidded to a halt when she saw the lard dragon. Before when she was younger, his gigantic frame intimidated her. Luckily Twilight had him when he was a baby dragon so he wasn't feral; apparently he wasn't even full height yet still! “Hello Star Sign.” he spoke with a deep voice that suited quite a beast.
“Hello Spike, is everything alright? Are the princesses okay? I was going to send a letter soon but I do think I am getting closer to the truth in where Keeper went! I feel it in my horn!” she rapidly told him.
Spike laughed and held up a hand. “Star it's fine. We don't know what it is, but we know it's flammable. The gas snuffs the flames before we can get it away from the castle however and it seems to almost double in strength every single time we try. It's taken over the entire shield and to save power, the princesses have recalled everypony to the main castle grounds and left the town to be covered. We have maybe a week before the princesses' power fades and the shields fail.”
“Are you certain they can last that long?” Star Sign questioned with worry.
“Cadance herself held a shield up in the Crystal Empire against King Sombra for quite some time, and we also have Luna and Celestia helping as well...” Spike looked back at the black smoke ball that was Canterlot.
“Have the airships made any progress?” Star asked hopefully.
“They refuse to take any action because it would take an unneeded toll on the shields help up by the Princesses. It's just...”
Spiderbro actually spoke up this time “But what is it?”
Spike looked with concern to Spider “It's just that the smoke... ponies think it is alive and so does the College... but...”
“You think it's being controlled by somepony and that's why it seems so intent on taking Canterlot?” Star asked.
“Yes! The smoke is too thick for most ponies but I swear I see a small silhouette of a pony walking through the smog sometimes.”
Star Sign contemplated this. “I agree with you. Your eyes are better than a pony's and you haven't been wrong before on these things. We will get to the bottom of this. It's just that I'm close, really close. Spider here says that Keeper didn't look much older from when he met him to the day he went missing, is that true?”
Spike thought for a little bit. “That is correct. He claims that humans age as they grow older but he didn't. We had multiple theories on it but we couldn't isolate a single one for sure. He liked to think that since he cheated death in a separate time-line, he didn't age in this one. He didn't really explain it well but he was satisfied with saying that he was locked in his appearance until he died.”
Star listened to Spike and thought hard on what he said. Maybe Keeper cheated death once and now was immortal? No. Immortal or not he was injured multiple times in his travels, even in the history where he was taking part in he was wounded more than once. True Immortal beings didn't bleed or have any physical requirements to sustain themselves. Maybe he was like like the Princesses and that Celestia and Luna could only be killed through injury and not from age? Maybe he was a new form of undead? Necromancy still had many holes and wasn't explored as well as other magic schools.
“You think he is still alive.” Spike asked directly. This wasn't a question and it was more of a statement to just hear the answer regardless.
“I am absolutely sure. I have no idea how, why or where, but I know for certain that he must be in some way, shape or form.”
He got up off his feet and spread his massive wings. “I'll get somepony to write a letter for me and I'll send it to Celestia promptly. Your hunches haven't been wrong whenever we have had a problem. I'll leave you in Spiderbro's care.”
She paused for a second while Spider danced happily at the news of guarding something other than the keep. “You know Spider?”
“Read more of Keeper's Journals, it come up somewhere. I forget where. Have a good day and good luck!”
He roared and flapped his wings, creating small dust clouds that were promptly pushed away. He yelled “The way to the Pegasus Landing is blocked by rubble, get Spiderbro to bring you there!” and he flew off.
A skittering came up beside Star Sign and almost scared her to death to see a smiling spider mouth and eight eyes looking into her own. “Apple? We can go whenever you wish.” Spider said as he lifted a spider-silk bag filled with apples and some other plants.
A spider butler was going to take some getting used to.
She decided to go after reading a bit more of Keeper's Journal. Besides, she would need to build up some courage before even considering accepting the offer of riding a giant spider.
---///---
“You let WHAT into our house?” an English-sounding voice resonated through the house.
Octavia seemed to have come home a little bit earlier than was expected. Then again the news of a strange beast living in your basement would fly across Equestria. I am quite certain that if Octavia was a Pegasus she would have put Rainbow Dash's incredible speed to the test. Needless to say, Vinyl Scratch left my door open the night before and I woke up to someone yelling from the living room. We actually had a long night making a present for Octavia too to soften the news.
“Look Octavia, he had jut come from an excruciatingly painful trip from his home to Equestria. He was declared alright by the Princess herself! You think I was just going to let him crash on the streets?” Vinyl defended me.
There was a slight pause, “So? You could have let it just sleep in the Apple family's barn or something. That cowgirl would take absolutely anything in, or the Pegasus that lives near Everfree. There is no need to let him in our house.”
“It is a HE by the way, and before you go off and judging him remember that he came from another dimension. You should see what he has in his head! All the music from an entire civilization is stored in there. He's been helping me out with my music so much ever since he got here! Apart from that, he is a really nice human too. I can't believe you would just act so harshly!”
I had started up the stairs and tossed my army jacket over my bare chest. My shirt was still dirty and I didn't want it to be the first thing Octavia saw. An alien arriving with a torn up and slightly bloody shirt, great first impression. My thoughts were cut off by some more yelling. “Oh I am sure he has such great music! I am quite certain that he must enjoy something that you have made, only something that hasn't heard real music before must like the drivel you pump out of your basement every night. Did that silly device ever work?” Octavia finished and the room went silent.
Oh no. Not on my fucking watch.
I stepped through the threshold of the living room. “Why hello. Someone was talking about me and I got this urge to just come upstairs to see who it was.” Octavia turned and her grey coat almost turned pale white. “It seems like someone was a snooty little bitch and said some very cross things.”
I turned to Vinyl, who looked on the verge of tears at hearing her best friend and room-mate yell out such things about her.. “Should I go full Keeper on her?” to which she looked up at me and weakly nodded.
I stood with a flourish. “Well Octavia Melody it would be quite the pleasure to meet you. However it must be said that for a pony of such great taste you have shown it in poor favour. Now as a pony like you would know, music comes in all sorts of types and sounds and just because you don't like it doesn't mean you can just yell at her for it. Oh and thinking about it, why is your cutie mark a treble clef when you play a cello and a double bass? That is a thought right there and yes I come from a place where we have written music. Now you have taken musical theory wherever you learned music right?” Octavia weakly nodded, “Well then you can tell me what music is in the simplest forms right?”
She mumbled out a reply. She must have went to the washroom recently because she looked like she was going to piss herself. “I'm sorry I didn't hear you. I'm not going to eat you and Celestia would just shoot me to the moon if I hurt a pony, so just speak like an adult and stop cowering like a filly!”
“Music is simply a sequence of sounds in the air, vibrations that are interpreted by our ears within a certain note range.” Octavia was still shocked but decided to add “of course that is all disputed on it being pleasant to the ear.”
“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and music in in the mind of those who hear it. Remember that someone had to invent the piano and they were probably ridiculed for it.” I turned to Vinyl, who still looked fucking miserable.
“Now this pony is your best friend and you just cut into her deep. She has literally poured hours into her work and you just ridiculed it because you just didn't like it. Now I do understand that you have been stressed out from work with a symphony band or something and you just got word that some beast is living in your house so tensions are high. So please, did you really mean all those things you said to Vinyl?”
There was a good pause before Octavia broke down herself with a “Noooooooo!”. I stood to the side so Octavia could move to Vinyl and put her arm around her. She spent the next fifteen minutes just telling her how sorry she was. They seemed to be making things up from my point of view. I actually had no idea how females made up. Guys usually end off with 'I'm an asshole, are we good?' to our apologies. “Now Vinyl, you got something to say to her?”
Vinyl actually perked up a bit. “I do! Keeper and I worked hard to transfer it onto a record but it turned out pretty well. The device actually works too Tavi! Keeper decided to give you some of the music from his world that he thought you would like.” She took the disc out from behind the chair she was sitting on and gave her a wrapped record case.
She ripped the paper surrounding it and looked at the cover “'Roots: A Classical Upbringing by Keeper'. Wait, is this really from your world?” She looked amazed at the fact that we could have made a vinyl record and that it was from my head. The fact that she just tore into her friend and promptly received a gift was blowing her away too.
Octavia still seemed to be in shock over the emotional moments we all had. Vinyl helped her out to put the record in Octavia's record player and I sat back to watch her reaction. “This first piece was made by one of the most influential musicians of all time. He is known worldwide and even those who don't know his music know of his name. This piece is called Eine Kleine Nachtmusik Allegro by a gentleman named Mozart, and is one of the regal pieces in this selection from my opinion.”
Octavia went through many emotions over the course of the next six minutes. She went from bracing to the worst, to curiosity, though analyzing, and lastly: genuine appreciation. Soon enough the strings faded and Vinyl went out to pick up some snacks. It was probably best that she had left the room too just to get the earlier conversation out of her mind.
I went through a lot more songs with her before Vinyl came back from Sugarcube Corner. I gave her Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata and Symphony Number 5 to which she went almost insane over in the good way. I let her experience William Tell Overture from Rossini which to my amusement always reminded me of horses. I let her get chills with Toccata And Fugue In D Minor from Bach. That was only a sample of what I had to offer her as well. You listen to a lot of classical music over your lifetime without knowing it.
“Now can I formally introduce myself.?” I said after she finished enjoying Bolero from Ravel.
“Please do, I apologize thoroughly for my behaviour earlier.” she said with a nod as Vinyl came in through the door with a bag hopefully filled with goodies.
I stood up and bowed and held out my hand. “I am Keeper. I hail from another dimension and a planet called Earth. My passion is to collect information however I am tasked to keep most of my information to myself. I am pleased to meet you.”
She took my hand in her hoof and shook it. “I am Octavia Melody, I am a cellist in the Equestrian Royal Symphony. I am also pleased to have your company.”
“Now this is totally how I hoped it would go on when you two first saw each other! Here have these. They are cinnamon buns. Someone happened to have shown the Cakes a new recipe and they are really good!” She shot me a very obvious look to me as she said 'someone' instead of 'somepony' which Octavia picked up on but made no comment.
“I had one yesterday, I absolutely love them.” I commented as I bit into the bun. Mrs. Cake probably made it since it seemed toned down a little on the sugar.
After some more talk and music the record finally ended and Vinyl flipped the vinyl. We made good conversation and Octavia warmed up to me pretty well. I did apologize for getting into their lives and I promised I would interfere as little as an alien could. I did get a small job from Octavia though! She needed help periodically changing the strings on her cello and I was happy to assist, especially if it came with some Bits. Fuck yeah fingers!
I excused myself and told them I was going to go for my walk, then go to Rarity's to pick up some clothes and then spend a bit longer at Twilight's. The said their goodbyes and I hoped that they would spend the time together to make up. Vinyl was improving her style quite a bit and we agreed that every night I would critique her music as well as give her a new track to enjoy. I ran through my mind to figure out what tracks I could bring in that Octavia and Vinyl would enjoy. There were a few tunes that were turned acoustic as well.
Eventually I got back to the cave on the lake where I last saw Chrysalis. I stepped through the mouth of the cave and called out for 'Chris'. She stepped out from behind a pillar and nodded. “About time you showed up. I was wondering if you got shredded by a bunch of leaves instead of sticks this time.” She greeted me like this and I didn't know if it was sarcastic or not.
“I see the time spent apart really appealed to your nature Chrysalis.” I gave her a mock bow. “How is the other one?” I asked as we walked to the back of the cave.
The changeling that was left with her was still unconscious. However she looked like she would make it with more love. It was such a weird thing to consider, healing someone literally with the power of love or friendship. “Positive energy actually.” Chrysalis corrected me.
“So love isn't what you primarily feed off of?” I asked.
She shook her head and sat down again. “We feed off of positive energy. It just so happens that love is the purest and most potent form of positive energy.”
I considered that for a bit. “I have heard that changelings also drain the actual life energy from their victim. I really don't have a better choice of words.”
She sighed deeply. “It's okay, I understand. The thing is that you literally give yourself into love. So when you are in a relationship you thrive off your partner's love and there is a positive balance of energy. When a changeling takes over the role of someone in the relationship to feed, there is only a one-way flow of love and that is why people get all depressed and weary before the changeling leaves.”
Made sense to me in the context of this universe. We discussed more on the matter and I learned a bit more from the way changelings behave. She said there wasn't too many cases where the changeling could just last on one pony for a long time with no side effects because the changeling also had to love the person back. Another deciding factor that was undocumented was if the victim knew that the pony in front of them was a changeling and still pursued the relationship anyways.
“The reason you don't know simply being because the changeling would leave the hive or would be dead. So you wouldn't be informed?” I suggested.
She agreed and we continued the conversation. “I actually have to wonder. Do changelings have to study a subject or do you have magic to assist in your identity theft?” I queried.
“We can look into the minds of the victims. We are also proficient at memory-loss spells and sleep spells. We actually try to find ponies who aren't in relationships. Taking over an existing love is always tricky because you usually have to keep the other pony alive if you want to get away with it.”
I relaxed against a pillar. “You killed a few ponies in your time?” I knew the answer but I wanted to hear it. It wouldn't bother me at all.
She tried to read my body language but I guess it was too exotic for her. “Yes, is that going to be a problem with you?”
I waved her off. “Don't worry about it. Can I ask another personal question?”
She tilted her head ever so slightly. It was almost adorable if it wasn't for the fact it was Chrysalis in front of me and she still was a threat. “Depends, what is it?”
“Why haven't you either killed me yet, or looked into my memories to find out if you can have leverage over me?” I asked bluntly.
“Well when you saved my life that was good payment on the whole 'don't kill the human' thing. Now that I have had time to think about it I wouldn't kill you because Celestia would hunt whoever did it mercilessly.” We both laughed a bit at that which made her give me a 'you liked that joke?' look. “Also, the reason why I haven't looked into your mind is because I don't know what I will see. Believe it or not I don't go popping in and out of people's heads for fun. I once checked a pony's head about fifty years ago and came across the most sickening fantasies about one's waste that should not be repeated, nor performed.”
Oh, scat. Not my ticket. “Plus I might not be able to comprehend what your universe is and die of brain failure or something.” She finished off that point on that note. “Since I can't take a peek until I know it is safe, want to pass some time talking about it? You being here is giving me some energy by the way, thanks again for that.”
I waved off her concern again and we talked about my place a bit. It was getting really easy for me now. It seemed like if I ever needed a topic for a conversation I could just point out an object and comment on the similarities between the pony version and human versions. We actually spent a good long while on ancient stories and fantasy creatures. Since a few of them existed in this world and the fact that I was talking to a changeling was neat. It was a fun conversation to say the least.
After about an hour I wished her a good day and gave her a hug goodbye. It was also strange doing that. It wasn't a 'I hope that I can see you again!' hug but a 'Here's some food!' hug. She did ask me if I would visit tomorrow. I said I would, but I asked if she was ready to travel back to the Badlands soon. She told me was wasn't fit to travel yet and wasn't leaving anywhere without her last changeling. She added that even though she looked great on the outside, she still felt messed up on the inside.
“Does she have a name?” I asked the Queen.
“I have no idea. I want to know.” she said back.
She was definitely not completely evil. Sure there was the whole capability for murder and she did try to take over the kingdom's main couple. However she actually wanted to just get home and start anew. I figured that I was being used and that was the third reason why she didn't kill me yet. As long as I didn't feel like I had nothing left in my heart I guessed I'd be okay.
Walking back to Ponyville was uneventful. I did see a rainbow streak fly by me and I was able to turn fast enough to see Rainbow Dash fly towards the forest. There were some storm clouds on the horizon coming off of Everfree. I guessed that there isn't a rainstorm scheduled in Ponyville today. From the amount of specks in the sky flying with the clouds I would assume loads more pegasi were working to keep the rain away. I was so strange to know that through all of our technological advances, we couldn't do what these ponies could sometimes.
I started humming a song I had a fleeting memory of as I walked back to Ponyville and marched on to Carousel Boutique. Upon seeing the structure for the first time I wondered if I was making the right decision. This place looked incredibly feminine and I didn't even know if Rarity made clothes for stallions. Then I remembered that the town's mare to stallion ratio was four to one. It was perfectly reasonable and practical to have it appeal to females. It was getting kind of hot so I took off my jacket. I never would have considered going topless in my world, but it didn't seem like a douche-like thing to do here. The sun felt nice on my chest and it felt pretty good to not have a shirt on.
Knocking on the door I was greeted by a small white pony. “Hey I'm here to get some clothes made by Rarity.”
She stared at me for a few seconds, “Sis! The strange thing from the place is here!” she yelled out “Why do you need so much clothes? It must be super hot with that jacket.”
“Ancient taboos on nudity I'm afraid. I only will go shirtless if I am in public.”
“Okay! Well hopefully Rarity won't bore you to death!” Sweetie Belle skipped away back to whatever she was doing.
The sound of hooves sounded through the large and impressive fashion boutique. “What are you talking about Sweetie Belle?” a white pony asked “Oh Keeper! How are you this afternoon?”
I bowed a little “I'm doing quite fine thank you.” I continued to make small talk with her but I used slightly longer words and acted slightly more dignified than I did with other people or ponies. “Now if you don't mind, I would like a new shirt if that's okay.”
“Why but of course! Would you mind if I took all your measurements since... well I don't want to impose but I would assume you would be coming to me and only me for clothing?” Rarity asked as she levitated a few measuring tapes and a notepad.
I agreed and said that she could pretty much have her way with me. Then I quickly reworded it and acted all awkward about it for a few seconds before I asked what she wanted me to do. I was considerably taller than her so I knelt down to help her take measurements for my upper body and arms. At this point I had taken off my shirt and pointed out muscles that I needed to use such as my biceps. This way she wouldn't make any of my clothing too restrictive and I wouldn't rip it accidentally. “You say military or like styles is in fashion for males where you come from?” she asked while doing actual small measurements of my fingers.
“Yeah amongst other things. However a man in uniform is something most people respect. Shows courage, honour and confidence. Most males aspire to want to have all three so a solid bet is military-based clothing that looks similar but isn't the same. Though there are many fashions depending on the situation I never have been let down by looking dignified.” I told her.
Yeah, I worked in retail for Hudson's Bay. You want to look decent as a guy? Crisp and clean with a bit of laid-back attitude, guaranteed seconds looks by people if you got a somewhat semi-built body to match. Of course, never go for fedoras, that age was long-since passed.
“Oh I do so agree. Many ponies don't want to go the extra length to look a little bit more sophisticated in my opinion. A little bit of extra time never hurt anypony. I bet even with enough work Rainbow Dash would look decent.”
“You did a good job on her dress in my opinion.” I told her, which I realized my mistake as she looked at me with some shock. “You know how I told you that your world was in a book in my world? Book had pictures and many people did renditions on what they thought it would look like. Needless to say it came up similar didn't it?”
“Well I say you are always full of surprises aren't you Keeper? Now if you would be so kind and remove your other clothing?”
That was a long pause for me as I worked up to find the right words. “You want the clean version or the blunt version?”
“I'm a professional dear, you can be frank with me.” she said reassuringly.
“I know how you ponies are really great at hiding your genitalia with your tails and such but I don't have anything like that. Us human males don't have sheathes at all so I'm wearing boxers to cover it up. Plus our society has this thing against nakedness. Oh and I kinda get excited easily and you being all close around my junk might get me a little heated.” I didn't stumble much during the whole explanation. Bonus points for Damien.
She immediately blushed when she realized what I meant. She took an almost motherly tone to reassure me. “Well I just want to say that it wouldn't be the first time somepony had got excited while I worked. I just need to take as many measurements as I can because your body type is so different. I assure you that if anything on your end happens I won't be taking one extra measurement. Just take off what you are comfortable with and we can go from there okay?”
I agreed and I stripped down to my tight-fitting black boxers. Now I really never had any experience with a stranger being this close to my crotch without anything sexy going on. Usually when a female's head was this close to my dick it was because she was gonna blow me – think of something else. As awkward as it was having my bulge all up in Rarity's face for a few seconds, she acted completely professional and I didn't notice her taking any peeks at me. Part of me was disappointed, and the other part wondered if I even stacked up against a normal stallion. Big Mac was obviously out of the competition, but I was above average for a human and -
“That is all I need! Thanks Keeper, now I am the only one in Equestria that gets to make you perfectly-tailored clothing!” she was all excited. “Now just list some materials and we can go over some sketches...” she wandered through her rolls of fabric looking around.
I did get her to only work on some shirts even though she wanted something more elaborate. I promised her that when a special event came around she could tweak my fashion to a more pony-like stance. Until then she actually made and stitched a few cotton shirts and two button-down tops. It only took two hours and that seemed short in my mind. They fit perfectly without stretching and were extremely comfortable. Clothing situation all accounted for I started to take bits out of my jacket. “Oh no need to bother darling. It was good enough to get new information and ideas! Plus the materials I used weren't expensive, not that you aren't worth it! Just come back again okay and tell everyone you shopped from my store okay? I'll have some pants done by the end of the week.”
Element of Generosity indeed.
I bid her farewell and left a few bits on a table near the door before I left. If anything she could get a lunch or something for all the hard work she did. I made my way over to Twilight's Treebrary and knocked on the door. However upon knocking on it, the door swung open.
Books were everywhere on the floor and stacked almost to the ceiling. Parchment was laying here and there across a table. There wasn't any motion until I saw Spike pop out from one of the towers. “Twi! Keeper’s here. You owe me five bits.”
I felt motion and a wave in the air to my left but I thought it was my imagination. Twilight blipped into existence beside me with a small crack that sent a few of my hairs on end. “Hello Keeper! I am sorry about the mess but I wanted to cross reference most of what you taught me about the human world and I got carried away. I wanted to have this clean and presentable enough for you before you came here but... well you can see for yourself.”
“No problem, do you have a list of what you were able to come up with?” I asked as I found the small chair I sat in yesterday and tried to make myself comfortable in the pile of books.
“Oh this isn't going to work out. Come up to my room instead, I have a spare bed you can at least sit on.” Twilight motioned me to follow her as she used her magic to move a few stacks of books away from us.
“Bedroom before the first date? Fast move.” I joked as I got into her room.
“What? No!” she exclaimed almost insulted yet blushing heavily. “Are you serious? I'm not into... stuff... of that nature. Is that how humans form relationships?”
I waved off her concern for me advancing on her. “It was just a joke. Most of the time you date multiple times before you... well before you have sex. Usually depending on the lifestyle. Different for every person and couple. Though there are some social situations where two people... look you just want me to explain now? It's gonna come up sooner or later.”
She somewhat embarrassingly agreed and I told her I would keep details of sex acts away from the conversation. I did want to know how dating worked around here too. “I don't know. I haven't been on any dates but I have read up on what one would do during a date. Plus I know how it generally works so we should be able to compare easily.”
That was the basis of this afternoon. I actually learned a lot from her. Most of the ponies in town were female, outnumbering males five to one. Most males that did grow up were mostly brought into the army, hence the population imbalance. After a long time, gender roles were mostly reversed in dating. Mares would ask stallions out, pay for everything and gain the stallion's interests to keep the relationship going.
Shit was complicated yo. I would ask Rarity but then everypony would know that I asked and I didn't want repercussions from an innocent question.
“Hey Keeper, you have a special some...human at home?” she asked with a tilt on her head and asking in a quite innocent tone.
“It's 'somebody' instead of 'somehuman' Twilight. Nah, I didn't have a girlfriend when I fell into Equestria. So I got nobody home expecting me but...” I started to speak but choked.
It hit me right then and there. Right fucking in front of Twilight I realized that my entire family is going through mourning my death. Here I was in Equestria just having the time of my life when my Mom was burying my body. Was there even a body? I started to feel sick. Oh why did I have to think? Why couldn't I have left that alone? “Everything okay Keeper?” a seemingly distant voice spoke out beside me.
I considered for a good ten seconds of silence that I should keep it all for myself. I usually did keep most of my problems to myself, especially after moving out of my house. However this was too heavy and it all came crashing down all at once. I was not doing okay right now and I couldn't fight it at all.
“Don't keep everything to yourself. You can tell me. Honest.” she said with complete sincerity and concern to what I was feeling.
I cried like a bitch.
“No I'm not fucking okay. I died! My family thinks I am dead. I am just sitting here realizing this now. It hurts so bad and I've never felt something this bad that it's tearing me apart. So many thoughts are running through my head too. Is my mom okay? Is my father going to drink himself to sleep tonight? Will my step-dad even care? Did I even leave a body or did I take that with me to Equestria? Is all that they could find of me a water-soaked Blackberry?!” I had stood up at this point and started pacing her small room.
“I'm just having the time of my fucking life and my parents...” I fell to my knees. Yes it was cliche, yes it was overplayed in sad little films and yes it felt right. “My whole family just lost me.”
Twilight just came up to me and nuzzled the side of my face before giving me a hug. “I'm not good at this and to be honest I've read almost nothing on how to comfort somepony, let alone a human.”
I just leaned into her a bit as she continued. “What I do know is this Keeper: you do have a home here. Sure it's a completely different dimension but as they say, home is where the heart is. Even though I have this entire library, I don't have all the answers. However, with enough time I know you will be able to be happy here okay?”
She was right, but I was already in enough of a depression to go straight to the 'ignore all advice' phase. One thing is for certain though and it was that I absolutely hated feeling like shit. I tried getting my mind out of this hole I dug myself into. I knew it was selfish but I wasn't going to let myself be sad over something I couldn't change.
I felt like I was making some progress and I thought what could distract me enough. Twilight was still hugging me. Even though it was somewhat of an awkward hug from the side with her front legs, it was still comforting to have another being just staying there. Now it wasn't like I could distract myself with sex, I haven't been in Equestria that long to go for ponies. I think. “Twilight... this is going to sound odd, but can I pet you?”
She broke the hug and looked at me funny. “Pet? Like a dog?”
Well this usually went better in stories. “More like run my fingers through your mane. You could call it an experiment on pony and human interactions or something. All I know is that my brain is telling me it's a good idea and I don't want to impose.”
“Purely for human-pony interaction studies right?” she said with a curious-but-apprehensive tone before I nodded back to her.
So I sat down on the floor against the wall of the Treebrary and she laid down beside me, laying her head on my leg. I started to run my fingers through her mane and she gave a slight humming noise of satisfaction. “Well, those fingers do feel nice I have to admit.” Twilight complimented.
“Thanks, what gave you the lap idea?”
She adjusted herself and paused as if to consider her words. “Not to bring up the last thirty minutes but you were mentioning about how a few times your old dog used to rest with his head on your lap. I figured it would be a nice thing to mimic something familiar in order to help you feel better.”
“Well it's working for me. Is it doing anything for you?” I asked her as I scratched here and there as I pretty much played with her hair and avoided touching her horn. If stories have taught me anything, it was never stroke a unicorn's horn.
“I have to say that the initial intentions of the experiment have become mutually enjoyable and further studies are going to be required in order to classify the full effects.” She said as she took a deep breath and relaxed.
That was pretty much as deep as it got. Again I was sort of expecting something to happen with this almost obvious setting and vulnerability but I was happy with how things went. Twilight seemed a bit more mature than in the show, but than again it was a television show for kids. Some differences weren't going to be obvious right? Maybe some friendship lessons involved a hug or two. In any case I started to feel better.
After that it was a simple visit. I spoke and Twilight listened instead of recorded. I told her about Canada and the distinct memories I had about the weather and the country's landscape. I spoke about how my father and I used to go camping when I was younger. We used to stay up and listen to the wolf howls in Algonquin park every summer. My mother would take me to the sugar shacks in Ontario and we'd eat pancakes and have maple syrup made from the sap running from the trees. I had an extra appreciation for the night after looking at the moon reflect it's light off the freshly-fallen snow. I even once climbed a mountain after moving to British Columbia and it was the hardest physical thing I had ever done.
She didn't need to write this down. Equestria had mountains, camping grounds and snow. Equestria had animals, including wolves; even if they were made of sticks. She was right, Equestria could be my home if I only made it so in my heart. I decided then and there I would find some means to make a house and become a citizen rather than a stranger. I had a goal now.
Oh and somehow deal with this Chrysalis thing. Also I had to boost Vinyl's music. I then had to get a job to compliment these paid studies with Twilight.
I waved goodbye a few minutes later and headed back home. I felt a hell of a lot better than when I broke down in front of Twilight that was for sure. I continued on my way before I noticed two ponies struggling over lifting something. I went a bit closer and noticed an earth pony stallion and a unicorn mare trying to attach a fairly large sign over what seemed to be a tavern. I checked out the sign and it was one of those old-fashioned shield-shaped hanging signs that had a painting of a wooden mug with wings. Burnt into the wood were the words “Flying Tankard”, which I presumed was the name of the tavern.
The sign looked extremely heavy for a pony though. “I swear Flask, you made this perfectly too heavy for my magic to lift this as well as loop the rings to the supports.” The unicorn was light green with a darker green mane. She had a basic leaf on her flank for a cutie mark.
“It isn't my fault your magic isn't strong enough for this Leafy!” he said grumpily as he pointed to his door. This pony was a dark brown with a dirty gold mane and his cutie mark was a golden drop on an iron ingot.“It's only a few nights before I open and I want to make sure that absolutely everything is done as soon as possible!”
“Can I help you guys?” I offered.
The earth pony didn't turn around to see me. “Unless you are a unicorn you are wasting my time buddy.”
The unicorn immediately recognized who I was. “Iron Flask, you might want to. It's Keeper.”
“You mean that pink thing that has been-” he cut himself off when her turned around to look up at me. “Oh, you are certainly tall aren't you?”
“Tall and strong, what's the problem? Got a heavy sign?”
“Yeah, and this filly hasn't put enough time into learning how to lift heavy things to help me.” he teased.
Leaf, as it were, huffed. “Well that is what you get for marrying a unicorn who can grow the magic ingredients for your alcohol you lazy pig! I don't do heavy lifting at all!”
He panicked a little for apparently offending his wife too much in front of somebody. “I'm just kidding honey! Sure you might not be able to life this sign, but you always pull through with everything we go through okay? I'm just tired and frustrated and I'm sorry. Your strength is why I married you!”
“Oh so it wasn't because – and I quote – 'she has a flank that one could spank for days on end' like I hear you telling your friends?” she poked back at him.
“It is one of the main reasons.” he smiled at her and she broke and smiled back at him. “Now as for you Keeper. Can you help a retired pony achieve his dream of getting back to work? I need this sign up.”
I agreed to help and I lifted the sign above my head. It was fairly heavy but I didn't have to wait long as Leaf used her magic to attach the sign to an overhanging support. The sign swung lightly in the summer breeze as we all checked it to make sure it wouldn't fall.
“Thanks so much for your help Keeper, I'm Leaf Heart by the way. This is my good-for-nothing husband Iron Flask.”
I shook both of their hooves. “Excuse me Leaf? I distinctly remember being the smith for the Royal Guard for twenty years before I wanted to open the Flying Tankard.”
“As much as I love seeing such a cute couple banter, I do have to get home.” I said to excuse myself.
“I owe you a drink and my thanks Keeper. Come by in a few days and I'll see that you are well taken care of. I do have a few things that need to be done if you need the bits. C'mere Leafy.” Flask said as he gave his wife a loving nuzzle.
I left them to their moment as I walked home. Yay, helping ponies. Leaving myself to my thoughts, I returned home to find Vinyl and Octavia waiting for me before they started on dinner. I helped out with preparing our dinner salad. Preparing it with a light vinaigrette and some daises – to which I insisted I didn't eat – we sat down. I had also made a small portion of scrambled eggs that I slid into my salad as some protein. All in all, not a bad night. We relaxed by the fire in the den afterwards and I half-heatedly listened in on the mares' conversation about some pony somewhere. I relaxed in the biggest armchair that they had in there.
It was nice, almost normal in a way considering my situation.
I finished my evening with creating music with Vinyl. She was picking up more of the basics of what her music would eventually form into. We started to become quite a good team in the studio. Whenever she wanted to get an example of fast tempo music, I'd go under her device and show her. I would also wear the helmet for the she needed a more mellow track for pauses and low-energy spaces. I have to say, I didn't actually know much about being a DJ or a producer. What I did know is that it was good to be nice and heavy then pull it back for a little while for people to catch their breath before blasting them again. Well it made sense to me anyways and Vinyl agreed.
“Now this is a little number from an artist called Zedd and this song was really popular when I was... sent here. This is called 'Clarity'. I want you to specifically listen to how the voice is brought up by the music and vise-versa. It's a good harmony between the two.” I said as I slipped on the helmet.
She picked it up all quickly. She'd always smile and say “Thanks dude!” or the like every time I came up from going under and giving her pieces of my world. It was nice actually doing something rather than eating, sleeping and working back on Earth.
It was soon late in the evening and we retired for the night. I closed my eyes and fell against the couch and relaxed as Vinyl started to leave. I felt a light kiss on my cheek. “What was that for?” I asked as a small tingle went down my spine. A pleasant one at that too.
“Well I decided since you were so awesome when you defended me this morning, you needed some thanks. Isn't that what a lady does when a stallion defends her honour?” she joked.
I kept my eyes closed and smiled. “Sounds like something Rarity would say. Well I wonder what I'll get if I ever had to save you from real peril instead of a high-class mare.” I teased.
“Well play your cards right and someday you might know. Night dude.” she said as she left.
“I'll have you know I am quite good at cards. Night Vinyl.” I replied and bid her goodbye.
“Well we will see, Lyra is really good at poker...” her voice faded as I fell asleep.
A small noise startled me in the night and I snapped awake. It was strange, wasn't this room soundproofed? I adjusted myself and my pants and tossed on one of Rarity's shirts. I also thought I had noticed a small wave in the air but I cast it off. The red LED lights from Vinyl's instruments lit up the room and I easily found the door.
I walked up to the kitchen and opened up a cupboard for a mug for some water or something. I remembered I wasn't in my apartment and cursed a little as I opened up more cabinet doors to find a goddamn cup. Why wasn't it over the sink? That made sense! Wait, Octavia was an earth pony, they were probably on the lower cupboards. God I must sound like a thief right now rummaging through their stuff.
I was broken out of my very serious inner monologue by a sharp knocking on the door. It was a very uniform and confident knock too. It also felt like it was about one in the morning. In the name of everything holy and not, who the fuck was knocking on my door at one in the morning? Was it my door? Oh well. I more or less shambled to the door and opened it up.
Oh. Hello Luna.
It was definitely her alright. She was a little bit smaller than me but she almost radiated magic like an oven making heat. Her hair sparkled in the moonlight so well that I swear they were actual stars and her coat was absolutely magnificent. At least what I knew about pony coats anyways,“We would like to have a word with thee.” she said with conviction and confidence that only a princess could know.
Looking at her actually wasn't a huge shock to my system. Perhaps I was more used to this than I thought I was or maybe it was because it was one in the goddamn morning and I kinda wanted to sleep. “Mind if we walk and talk? I gotta get my coat. I don't want to wake up Vinyl or Octavia this late at night.” Needless to say she didn't look impressed at my light sassy tone.
I grabbed my army jacket from the dining room and walked out the front door, closing it as quietly as possible. I turned to Luna and noticed that she didn't have any guards with her. “Where are your bat-pony guards?”
“We have given the order for the Lunar Guard to stand back. Thou not need to be concerned about what we do with our security. We assure thee that thou will easily be dealt with if thou proves thine-self to be untrustworthy.” She seemed kind of pissed. “Does thou know who we are?”
We had reached the square and I took a seat on the bench there. “You are Luna, princess of the night and sister to Celestia. You were turned into Nightmare Moon and was cast out and imprisoned by your own sister in-the-slash-or-on the moon. When the Nightmare was removed from you, you returned to the state that you were in when you were ensnared resulting in why Celestia is taller than you. Good enough?”
She was shocked for a split second and I almost missed it. I got up and continued to walk with Luna through the quiet city. “Why thou certainly know a lot about us. Thou does forget their presence with a princess and should be addressing us as such.”
“Thou is forgetting that thee has been keeping me up at a late hour on the third night of my arrival into Equestria after my death.” I turned to her and bowed slightly. “Forgive my tone though, I get sassy when sleepy. My world only has one major monarchy left and I am just not used to the formality of a princess. I'm just going to mess it up anyways.”
“It is understandable” she replied.
“You can drop the Royal We as well if you wish. I know you can speak in modern tongue and it is going to make this conversation so much easier.”
“Very much agreed upon.” she said “Twilight always did say that practice makes perfect”. She probably also agreed because it wasn't intimidating me at all. I was going to appear in your dreams but I figured that it would be favourable to meet you face to face first.”
We talked quite a bit afterwards. I did repeat and clarify a few things from what I have told Celestia and Twilight but she was attentive for all of it. She didn't even seem shocked at all when I told her about war or violence. Being bonded with the Nightmare or whatever it was must have exposed her to the more unconventional and violent thoughts that we as a human race would find normal. Where ponies would think of turning the cheek, we would probably think of punches. She didn't like religion though, and I supposed a goddess who was almost worshipped with her sister wouldn't like other belief systems.
I was almost passing out at what I thought to be four in the morning. I literally told her with “I'm going to pass out Luna.”
“No need to worry Keeper. Here, let me try something.” She instructed me to face her and try my hardest to to move much.
Her horn touched my chest lightly and I had a rush of energy spread from my core to the tips of my fingers. It felt like I had slept ten hours and woke up with a cup of espresso. I felt like I had enough energy for the week, let alone the day!
“Wow! Thanks! I guess that evens us out. Totally forgiven for the keeping me up. I guess that I should call you Princess since I no longer have an excuse?” I asked jokingly.
“Oh I wouldn't worry. I have it on good authority you'd just mess it up anyways.” she smiled back at me. “Besides, I find your unfamiliarity and informal speech quite relaxing. It's as if I am taking to an equal rather than somepony trying to win my favour. You would just keep calling me Luna anyways. You knew I would feel this way wouldn't you?”
I decided to keep it simple and honest. “Some things I know and some things I have a very good feeling about. Sometimes I'm off and sometimes I kind of wish I was. It makes it hard. I sometimes think 'will my actions change the destiny of a pony'? I get headaches thinking about it. I'd like to think I know a lot about this world, but at the same time I feel like I know almost nothing. Every answer I have is met with two more questions. Sometimes I just can't comprehend the answers at all, especially where magic is concerned.”
“Maybe that's the grand objective, to keep finding answers to the questions that matter. If you knew all the answers then life would be boring. It's like a story where the hero simply has everything at his disposal. It makes for bad storytelling.”
“And if the answers don't lead me to something I like?”
“You keep it up and continue on your way knowing that it may help in the future. You must find darkness sometimes before... you see the light. When one finds the truth, you cannot go back.” she finished that thought.
Well that certainly got me to thinking of Plato's Allegory of the Cave. Everything you know is a shadow of what it truly is. Nothing is true, everything is permitted.
“May I ask you something personal Luna?”
“Sure Keeper, you may as much as I have the right to tell you nothing.”
Cheeky princess. “Why are you being nice to me? You aren't like other ponies and you certainly have... seen shadows. You would be more mistrusting than other ponies. You could have just asked your questions and left. Why spend your night with me?”
“You are most certainly correct on how I could have conducted my questioning Keeper. However I do have more free time than my sister. More ponies favour the light of the sun rather than the calm of the night. My sister has more concerns than I do on time-management.”
That was an attempt at a subject change. “I think there are more than enough who favour the night over the day. Isn't the bat pony their own race?”
“You are correct, and you would be one of the very few to bring that up. How did you come across that knowledge?”
“I'm Keeper. And if ponies keep on using that 'it's magic' excuse for everything I'm using the Keeper excuse. Anyways I also prefer the night sometimes. Heck when I was on Earth I'd stay up late and not wake until noon. However my sleep rhythm was messed up to normal when I got here I guess. If that makes sense. Now you avoided my question. Why didn't you just get what you want and leave?”
She looked at me and realized that she would need to leave before I let it go. She actually rolled her eyes and huffed. “You remind me of myself.”
Well that is not what I was thinking. “In what way Luna?”
“You are in a world you don't fully understand, liked by ponies who have no reason to like you. You are accepted by them regardless of your past actions or beliefs. Ponies want to know who you are and the ones that don't will avoid you enough that it doesn't matter.”
She took another deep breath to speak. “However you won't reveal too much about yourself and your thoughts because you fear that you would lose your friends if they knew everything about you. Those little dark notions and acts that would be very unfavourable for ponies to think of are just common thoughts to you. That little bit just makes you different than the rest and you try to fit in as much as you can because you like to be liked.” Needless to say it sounded a bit too 'dark and edgy' but she was literally the embodiment of a Nightmare at one point, she could have some edges.
“Of course, sometimes acts have to be in the dark. Being darker isn't evil at all if you are doing what needs to be right.”
She looked at me with kindness and familiarity, as if she realized that someone actually 'got it'. “You speak true, may I ask you a question?”
“You may, as much as I have the right to tell you nothing.” She looked at me with almost a playful smile before looking up.
“I will not bear judgement upon thee, but do you prefer the sun or the moon?”
I stopped to consider it myself for a little while which is always a mistake around females. “That is a very big pause you have there Keeper Do you mares on your world appreciate that silence?”
“Simply because I wanted to word out the reasoning behind it so you don't have to ask me why.” I replied. “I prefer the moon. Ponies may look up at the sun and be happy, but when I think of it, I really do complain about the sun a lot. Ponies must say all the time that the sun makes them too hot, it's too bright, it's not making the rain dry up quick enough and all sorts of complaints.
“Who complains about the moon? Nobody. Everyone loves the moon. Sure they may fear the night and everything that might lurk in the shadows. The moon is the biggest source of light at night and makes the darkness go away when the sun isn't here.” I smiled at her as she tried not to look at me for some reason. It was obvious. “So I prefer your moon over your sister's sun. Besides, the moon is accompanied by so many wonderful lights, makes the sun look greedy by comparison.”
Luna smiled before shaking her head of whatever thoughts she had. “That was really well thought out Keeper. Regretfully however, I must cut our conversation. I actually don't want to, you do know how to keep a mare interested in your stories. Would you care to speak again if our schedules permit?”
“It would be an honour.” I said as I bowed and she did so back to me. She did it as if we were equals. I hesitated to tell her one last thing as she started to raise her wings to take off. “Luna. My old name is Damien, I chose a new name when my world changed. Your sister knows it and I figured you should as well. Nobody else knows.”
She paused and smiled at me similar to how her sister did when she was happy. “My old name is Selene, I made a new name when I changed my world. My sister knows it and I figured you should as well. Nobody else knows.” She winked and took off. “Call her Tia next time you see her.”
I smiled as she flew away. Of course, the Greek moon goddess Selene. I wouldn't be surprised if European translations of My Little Pony actually referred to her as Selene or something. Wasn't there something about Luna being called “Lulu” though? I waved hello to some ponies who were getting up early to do their jobs early in the morning as I walked home. If Celestia was a stallion would her name be Helios? I was going to ask Twilight about it but I decided to keep it to myself. Though I could use it as a reference to both of the sisters using chariots. I should ask Luna first though since it was history of my species, but tell her that I wouldn't reveal her secret to anyone.
Besides, I'm Keeper. Keeping secrets is what I do.
---///---
“Was I in that one?” Spider asked.
Star Sign shook her head, “Not yet though I certainly hope it comes up. I would like to know about your past too Spider.”
“Aww it's okay, my past isn't all too important! I was an itty bitty spider and now I'm a fully grown spider! I think so, at least for my species I am... I don't know.” He skittered along the floor in deep thought. “I am larger than any spider in my species, but there are a few more spiders in the forest that are even bigger than I am! They are mean though, but not as smart. They don't taste very good either...”
Star shuddered at the thought. “What about you cutie? What about you growing up?” He asked.
Star hesitated a second before speaking. It was Spider, Keeper's pet who was at least either trained to keep secrets or just inherently good at it. It should be fine. “I don't remember anything about my childhood up to a point.”
“Really ?” Spider sounded absolutely amazed. “You don't? Why?!”
She shifted her hooves and looked away from Spider, but eight eyes were still all on her. “My parents died in a fire when I was young. Princess Celestia herself dragged me out by magic as I tried to get out from the burning building. I had my cutie mark at the time but I can't even remember how I got it.”
“That is the saddest thing I have ever heard in over a hundred years!” Spider looked like it was almost crying.
“It was also weird how Celestia handled it as well. At first I wasn't allowed to leave the castle at all after I was healed and she watched over me constantly. She would test me with my magic here and there and would make progress notes or something. Eventually she opened her doors and let me live in Ponyville as her student. It really amazed me because I was nothing like her student Twilight Sparkle but I was almost living in the same way! Minus a baby dragon of course. Instead of me watching over Spike, it always seemed like Spike was watching over me like a big brother.
“Eventually I made some friends and I continued to study magic as well as send reports on the progress I was making and to see if I remembered anything.” She stopped Spider from speaking over her. “I never did remember a thing before the fire. Celestia thinks that it is some magical psychological response to seeing my parents die. Makes it so I don't remember seeing them die. However we can't figure out why I can't remember the rest...”
Star yelped as she was picked up by Spider's hairy arms. “That has to be the most heart-breaking thing I have ever heard! Especially coming from a pony who is soooooooo cccuuutttteeeee”. He finished the last part with a high-pitched crying.
This was one of the few times in her life where Star Sign actually considered the well-being of her sanity.
She was released by the hug and tried her best to stop her legs from shaking. “It... it's f-fine I had a l-l-long time to come to terms with it!” she shuddered and turned from him as fast as she could.
It took her a few moments to calm down. “Okay, now how are we going to get up to the Pegasus Landing?”
Spider took some of his silky string and tied it around his neck like a harness. “By riding on me!”
She was extremely unsure of the idea considering how freaked out she was by the hug. “Is there... any other way?”
He skittered about in thought. “No unless you can sprout wings! Don't worry cutie, Keeper used to ride on top of me and he is heavy. I'm sure you will do just fine!”
Spiderbro spun some webs and wrapped them around his waist so she could lean back onto his abdomen. He bent down as low as he could “Come on! The sooner we get there the more you can look around!”
She swallowed what little saliva was in her mouth before tentatively stepping onto the massive arachnid. “Keeper, you better be worth this...”
