Hail, hell, and a mercenary

by bjornicorn

Rating: teen
Tags: Dark, Alternate Universe, Human, Main 6, Changelings, Gore, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Gilda, Other, Romance, Adventure
Length: 1776

A story of my oc, Cyndir

Cyndir is just your average guy, he likes long days of training, cooking, upgrading his elemental hammer made from dragon parts, and mercenary work, you know the usual! And just like usual, he's got a job to do, not so usual... IT'S FROM THE GODDESS OF THE STINKIN' SUN!!!!!!!! join Cyndir as he goes off to protect 6 mares from Goddesses know what, and maybe finally give Sut the family she deserves.

A/N: Thanks to ladyarcana for the help with my story, IT WOULD NOT BE HALF AS GOOD WITHOUT YOUR HELP!

Published 2013-06-03 12:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-06-04 20:27:05 UTC

prologue

Some days just sucked a big one. This was one of them, though to be fair it was eight months in the making. Eight long months of working for cry baby diamond dogs, arrogant griffins, and smug elementals. All of whom felt entitled to take advantage of a poor mercenary orphan.

Oh sure… I knew something shady was going on. The money was too good for the simple super storms requested. The jobs were long and tedious, but there were some minor precision lightning strikes that cried out for my “special” touch. Still… I never expected to be gypped on the fee.

All Cyndir had was aches in his cumulous regions, spiders crawling out of his money pouch, and an empty promise of a genuine Princess Celestia action figure doll for his lil’ sis Sut.

Damn, another broken promise added to all the others, time for another game of “Foraging for Dinner!” Sut was getting good at it. Unfortunately, so was he.

Getting home, not that a cave should be dignified as such, Cyndir plopped down on the pile of grass and moldy straw and stared at his most prized possession, a black and white photo of Dad and him. They’d been happy that day, and they should have since he, Cyndir, had killed his first manticore. A celebrated rite of passage for Elemental males of the ---- line and he’d have forsaken that kill if it would give him back their father.

Dam that dragon! Dam all dragons to Tartarus.

"Dad... I'm sorry I couldn't save you, I was just too weak then... but at least I avenged your death." Cyndir said solemnly to himself. 'At least I still have my baby sister... I wonder, where Sut is now anyways?' wondered Cyndir

*Knock-knock-knock!*

"Coming!" said Cynder, thinking that Sut must have wandered out again and gotten head start on gathering food for dinner. 'Knocking on the cave wall is a nice touch, non-sense but nice.' Thought Cyndir. 'Somehow she’s turning into a good kid, her quirky pride notwithstanding.' The stress of their lives effectively weighing her down so much that she might not be capable of “normal”.

Thinking about Sut distracted him so when he did see who was at the cave opening, he was dumbfounded to see the royal princesses at his doorstep, chatting with his sister like it they’d known each other their whole lives!

"What is going on here?" said Cyndir.

"oh, nothing really, just talking to the princesses about how you're the best mercenary of all time ever!"

'oh shit! The princesses might not know about my rules of employment! I gotta fix this quick!' Cyndir thought

"Oh, really, and why is that?"said Cyndir

"Because you never hurt the good guys and never work for meanies!" said Sut energetically

"That's right, you know what I always say--"said Cyndir, pausing for effect

"punish the wicked, protect the pure!" they both said in unison

"ahem!" said princess Luna "I hate to interrupt thee, but myself and mine sister would like to hire thou's services, if it is okay with thee."

'WHAT! They want to hire me?! That is wonderful!'thought Cyndir

"What is the job, how much is the starting pay, and will my big brother be in danger?" said Sut, instantly going into business mode

"The job is to act as a body guard for the elements of harmony, the starting pay is 900,000,000 bits with all living expenses during the job paid in full, and yes, his very life may be put on the line." said a straightforward Celestia

"With the life endangerment fee, that is usually an added 10% to the price, but in this case I will lower the boost to 5%, so as to be fair, we also request full citizenship to equestria, so as not to live this cave in the everfree, so that we may live closer to our charges"said an ingenious Sut

" Of course, is that all?" asked the royal sisters

"I believe so... wait, why do they need a bodyguard?"asked a wary Sut

"An ancient evil has risen, and he is out to destroy the elements of harmony, his name is Zorbrogush Vrolthein, Arch-demon supreme"Said Celestia

" Oh, is that all? I'll have this done in my sleep!" said Cyndir

"Well, we will see... oh, and welcome to equestria!" Said the sisters in creepy unison

Author's Note

comment if you like it And here is a link to Cyndir's description and backstory and click here to view Sut's description

Hydra hidings galore!!!

"Okay, I admit it, we are lost..."said a put-out Cyndir "How can one forest have this many paths?!? It's a forest for crying out loud!!!"

"I think you should go stormy and check the tree tops for a way to ponyville, before we get any further lost" responded Sut

"Good idea, sis! I'll just shift and fly on up!" Cyndir said as he turned into a living maelstrom, soaring above the canopy overhead, descending a mere moment later "Hurry up, Sut! some griffon babe is being chased by a really pissed off Hydra!" Cyndir exclaimed as he lifted Sut up and dashed toward the swamp

"Someone, please, help me!" cried the griffoness

"RAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUR!" bellowed the raging Hydra, preparing to devour her in it's gaping maw

"Not on my watch you don't!" cried Cyndir as he pulled out his trusty hammer, Thunderheade, and bashed the offending hydra head, thoroughly crushing it, then tearing off the head with dreadful ease and searing it shut with a bolt of electricity, the Hydra then roared in sheer agony and glared hatefully at Cyndir, the injured beast then attacked, whipping it's tail into Cyndir and thus sending him flying into a tree. "Oh, you think your tough do yah? Well, let's dance!" Said Cyndir as he pulled himself out of the mangled tree, just as the outer left head of the Hydra charged for Sut

"Cyndir, help!" shrieked Sut

Just then, the Hydras entire body was sent skyward and trapped in a cage of ice and gale-force winds "HOW DARE YOU TRY TO HARM MY LITTLE SUT! I'LL KILL YOU! PERFECT STORM" Bellowed an enraged Cyndir, his vision turned blood red, as he froze the enemy solid and brutally hacked, bashed,slashed, and bludgeoned the beast, with his trusty war hammer/gear-saw Thunderheade, until it was no more than a smoldering pile of gore. Cyndir then slowly walked away from the burning mass (like a bad ass) and went to the young Griffoness,sheathing his weapon as he walked

"What is your name, and where can I go to get you medical attention?" said Cyndir, unaware of the Timberwolf sneaking up on him from behind

"Look out behind you!!!" Cried the griffoness

Cyndir spun around and dealt the timberwolf an electrified spinning roundhouse kick to the face, then grabbed it and tore it in half, spraying sap everywhere "Now," Said Cyndir "how about we get you to a hospital, ay?"

Author's Note

comment for votes on who to ship him with the options are: Gilda, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Twilight sparkle

Feeding Gilda/ A long awaited reunion

"Hey! Gilda! I got your Grub!" Said Cyndir as he handed Gilda a roasted pheasant, they both ate eagerly

"Holy crap! I never ate anything this good!" Exclaimed an awestruck Gilda

"Hey, it's not that good... I just rushed through and didn't even season it, don' be such a softy"said Cyndir

"Hey! it's been an hour! Time to meet my friends!" said pinkie as she suddenly came from nowhere

"OH MY SWEET CELESTIA ARE YOU EATING MEAT!?" cried a cyan Pegasus with a rainbow colored mane 'Hmm... must be Rainbow Dash' thought Cyndir

"Of course we are, She's a carnivore and I'm an omnivore, we are supposed to eat meat!"

"What in the name of Daring Do's wings are you even supposed to be? Some sort of mutant monkey?" asked RD

"I am your protector and that is all you need to know, colors!" Retorted an offended Cyndir

"Protector?" asked all ponies present, excluding a speechless and Irate RD "Yes, I was hired by the Royal Sisters to look after and protect you six from anyone who may want to hurt you for the foreseeable future" Said a calmed down Cyndir "Including an ancient demon of unimaginable power, so, you're welcome!"

"WHAAAT!?"

"*Ahem!*

Going to ponyville, stat!

"Huh?!"said the Griffoness "You don't even know me, and yet you'd not only fight to protect me, but make sure I was okay as well?! What's up with that?! Who are you?! What are you?! How'd you even manage to fight those things?!"

"One, because I am awesome, two, I'm Cyndir, three,I am a hybrid of two mostly unknown races that are extremely powerful, and four, because I'm a bad-flank." Said Cyndir "Now; where is the nearest hospital, miss...?"

"The name's Gilda, and it's in that lame-o town ponyville , over that way, but there is no way that I'm going there!"said the Gilda

"And why won't you go? scared the bad little ponies gonna buck you upside the head? Don't worry Gilda I'll protect you from any of those slug suckers who try to mess with you."Responded Cyndir, earning an embarrassed glare from Gilda

"Shut up! I'm not afraid of some lame-o ponies, I just won't go!" huffed Gilda

" I'll just carry you then!" said Cyndir as he picked up Gilda and carried her off to ponyville

"Wha- hey put me down!"Said an embarrassed Gilda

EPIC TIME SKIP

"At least she agreed to let Sut keep an eye on her while I got her some decent food... seriously, aren't hospitals supposed to make you feel good?" Said Cyndir

"AH! a monster the horror the horror!"Screamed a freaked out pony

"I'M NOT A MONSTER! Just a hybrid of two endangered species."said Cyndir

"Oh, never mind then..."replied the crowd. just then, a pink earth pony bounced up to Cyndir and stared at him intently

"What two species are you a hybrid of, why are you here, what is your name, and do you like parties!? Oh! My name is Pinkie Pie, by the way!" said Pinkie

" I am a hybrid of Ifriiti and Storm Elemental, and I was sent here to protect you and your friends from an evil demon, my name is Cyndir, and I LOVE PARTIES!"said Cyndir

"YAYIcan'twaittointroduceyoutomyfriendsandthrowyouapartyandwhyareyouatthehospitalyoudon'tlooksickandwhyaretherefeathersonyourshoulderandohmygoshthoselooklikeGilda'sfeathers!"said Pinkie at warp speed

"I think my brain just melted..."responded a confused Cyndir as he fell on his behind and tried to make sense of what he had heard, deciding to just let it go as he ventured into the everfree to hunt some wild animals