WARNING: THIS STORY IS PRETTY STUPID
"Good morning, sister!" Said the princess of night, Luna to her almighty equal (Celestia is totally inferior).
"Oh, hello, Luna. You're up...early." She said. It was 3:00 PM. Luna usually didn't wake up until at least 4:00 or 5:00 PM. I mean, she's up all night, watching over Equestria. She's gotta get her daily beauty sleep (not like she needs it or anything). "So, what are you doing up so early?"
"Um...I am unsure. I seem to have just, awoken unexpectedly. I was surprised to see the time that was shown on the clock." Said Luna in an unnecessary amount proper English. "However, I seem to feel something ahead. A premonition for interesting, almost chaotic things to come." Celestia's eyes widened in fear. Chaotic? Could she be predicting Discord? What if Sombra decided to come back? Or worse, what if Luna wanted revenge, and became Nightmare Moon again. She could easily get angry. It was that time of the month after all.
"Luna....Do you think Discord is returning for the over 9000th time?" She asked anxiously. "What do you think it is? How strong is it?" Celestia pondered in fearful anxiety.
Luna let out a laugh. "My, my, sister, I'm joking. I do not predict things. I do not have such capabilities. Remember Cadence's wedding? I missed all of those tragedies. One should learn to lighten up on occasions." Luna said over her lighthearted laughs. MARE GOT TROLLED, SON!
Celestia looked out of the hall window she was standing in front of right after Luna left. She still felt uneasy about her sisters little joke. It WAS a joke, but she felt an odd day ahead still somehow. Luna headed back to her room, probably to play Boarderlands 2 or something. The sun flanked princess let out a sigh of slight grief and trotted in the opposite direction, back to the royal courtroom.
..........
"Hey, Twilight!" Pinkie said at the library door.
"Oh, hello there Pinkie, how are you?" The purple unicorn replied.
"I'm doing super duper fantastic, as always!" She said, bouncing in the air. "Do you guys wanna hang out today?" She asked.
"I'm sorry, Pinkie. I've got studying to do. The princess wants me to learn about..." She stopped herself as she grabbed the nearby book. "pleasuring that special somepony... I've got no idea what that's supposed to mean, but that's my assignment. In fact, I barely looked at the first page. I'm sorry, Pinkie. Maybe tomorrow."
"Aww....Okay," She said.
"Maybe Rainbow Dash is home." She suggested.
"No, I already asked. She's training for the flyer competition." Pinkie replied.
"Oh....What about Fluttershy?"
"She's foal sitting today."
"Rarity?"
"Dress making...."
"Applejack?"
"Oh, I haven't asked her yet. Thanks Twilight!" She exclaimed bouncing fast from the door, toward Sweet Apple Acres.
.......
"Applejack!! Applejack!" Pinkie called, coming closer to her friends barn, She could see the light orange pony come outside to greet her friend.
"Oh, hey there, Pinkie. How are ya'?" She asked.
"Are you busy?..I'm bored." Pinkie said, looking down at her hooves.
"Well, you can help me with the trees over here if ya like. Gotta get lots of apples for the market today."
The pink pony smiled with glee that her help would be appreciated. "Okay!"
"Alright, Sugarcube, just go on over there, the baskets are set up and everythin'. Just uh...Don't put on that mustache...Every time you do, weird stuff comes out. Like that shark with the odd hair and weird shoe on its tail fin."
"Oh, you mean Antwon?" She recalled.
"Uh....yeah. That."
"Oh, don't worry, Applejack!" She assured. Pinkie bounced off into the orchard. She checked to see if anypony was looking. She put her hooves to her face and conjured a costume mustache. "Thug life." She said to herself.
Pinkie bounced in the distance to a tree in the orchard. Her bouncing came to a halt right in front of a large tree. It was slightly bigger than the rest of the trees in the nearby area. Pinkie smiled widely, and bucked one of them. About 10 apples came down from the branches. One hit Pinkie's head.
Pinkie waited for a portal to open in the bark of this tree. Nothing. "Aww man." She said to herself quietly. She walked away from it, and then....it happened. A giant oval shaped blue portal emerged onto the tree, spinning rapidly with different shades of blue. It then randomly closed. "Aww...." She was disappointed. No epic wolf, or super saiyan dolphin, nothing. Pinkie held her head down and walked forward into the orchard, and took off her mustache. "I guess the thug life isn't easy." She said to herself frowning.
......
"SISTER!!!!" Celestia shouted towards Luna's room. Without hesitation, the princess of the night teleported into the royal courtroom.
"WHAT IS IT SISTER?" Luna asked in fear. She then looked forward, seeing some sort of odd creature with an odd looking... mane?
"Oh, are you....the royal princess of the moon?" This creature asked.
"Yes," She replied. "But...who art thou?" She asked raising an eyebrow.
"I am Sailor Moon! A proud member of the Sailor scouts!" She says proudly, with an odd anime like background forming to accommodate her stereotypical girl pose.
"I like you..." Luna said smiling.
..........
"PINKIE! YOU GOT SOME SERIOUS SPLAININ TAH DO!" Applejack said Angrily as she observed the amount off odd creatures in the background. Applejack observed the large robot battle drone sharks flying accross the sky chasing the powerful pirate ninjas around ponyville as it was going up in flames.
"Wait...I got it!" Pinkie Said. "It was ALL Ian's fault!" NO PINKIE THAT DOESN'T WORK. I'm the narrator. I make the rules. "Well you're no fun then." She replies.
"Okay, well, I'll get my party cannon then." She says. Pinkie went to a random cart of hay, and grabbed her party cannon from within it. "I've got these hidden all over Equestria."
"So, Pinkie, what all do you have hidden across Equestria?"
"Well, party cannons, cameras, Dragonballs, cupcakes, Dolphins, machine guns, and other things of that sort." She replies.
Applejack walks away, her face of a "Fuck this shit" expression.
"Alright Robot Sharks, get ready to face my new ammo....Pancakes." She loaded her party cannon, and giant round pancakes blasted like a machine gun at the robot sharks. Many of them exploded, putting them in a... (sunglasses) sticky situation (YEEEEEAAAAAH!!!).
In the middle of the battle, a shadow could be seen through the daylight riding in the clouds. It was Princes Luna while Sailor moon was riding her (giggity). "Fear not, for we shall save the day!" Luna shouted downward to Pinkie. Princess Luna shot a few lazers from her horn, and Sailor moon jumped off and did backflips and landed onto a random motorcycle, doing wheelies and running over a few pirate ninjas.
A robot shark fell in front of the motorcycle, and Sailor moon saw it bullet time. She quickly jumped off, while doing the matrix, dodging the fire, and conjuring the most epic pair of bad ass sunglasses, like a boss. She jumped in the air, and grabbed a anti gravity surf board, and began to kill a few robot sharks with her staff. Many of the stallions below got a great upskirt view as she was totally annihilating manly epic random creatures.
Suddenly, Princess Celestia came through the ground, riding a halo warthog. Pinkie hopped in the turret, and blasted pancake bullets at the ninjas.
"All gone." Luna said as she drifted the warthog a little, creating a slight flowing dirt cloud on the ground. Sailor moon came off of her banshee, and landed to the ground, leaving the banshee in the air and having it go to the ground in a background explosion.
"Good job everyone." Sailor moon said.
Just before the group could celebrate their victory, another portal opened up, and almost 30 powerful super saiyan shark llamas came out of it, in a stampede towards the odd trio.
Sailor moon had a determined look on her face while the other two grew fearful expression.s "Alright, everyone. Chill the fuck out. I got this." Said Sailor Moon.
"What are you gonna do?" Asked Pinkie.
"The signature technique that this author uses in his stories....the kamehameha wave." She crouched downward, and put her palms together as a bright blue energy orb formed to her hands.
"KAAA.....MEEEE....HAAAA...MEEEEE....HAAAAA!!!!" She threw her arms forward to release the blinding bright blue energy wave the demolished the group of odd abominations. There was a section of singed grass that had a black smoke coming from it.
"So....what are we gonna do about ponyville?" Pinkie asked. It was all in flames, and most of the houses and businesses were on fire. Corpses lay everywhere, and none of the other elements of harmony were present.
"We'll just Blame Ian for everything." Sailor Moon said.
And so, everything went back to normal in some unexplained way, and Sailor moon went home just because. Everyone lived happily ever after, and that day, they all learned how to blame me for all issues.
***THE FUCKING END***
