Rainbow Dash Kills a Hooker

by BBJBS

Day 2, Part 2

Previous Chapter

Rainbow Dash flew from the library, although if anyone was watching they would hesitate to call it that—she was neither moving at any significant speed or height. Anyone who knew her would have tried to figure out why she was moving so slowly—a wing injury, perhaps, although some would insist on an imaginary friend in the form of a gopher. No matter how many ponies guessed, though, none of them would have stumbled upon the truth: she was thinking. She had nearly an hour until when she would usually wake up, and didn’t really know what to do. She supposed she could practice her flying, but what was the point if there was no one around to tell her how awesome it was? No, no tricks. Still, that didn’t mean she couldn’t go for speed, did it?

She settled onto the ground and stretched for a moment, then leaned forward and narrowed her eyes. She imagined another pegasus next to her, relaxed, smirking. She gritted her teeth and looked straight ahead.

At a shout from an unseen official, she shot forward, leaving a rainbow trail down the street and pulling up a few flowers as she passed them. Barrelling through the streets, she made a quick turn to the right and barely avoiding smashing into a wall. Certain that she had lost the other racer, she looked back over her shoulder, laughing mentally.

She was shocked to realize that not only was the other pony was still following her, he was actually gaining on her! It was slow, yes, but steady. She gritted her teeth and looked forward again, pulling straight up to avoid a house she hadn’t noticed. Looping around, she resumed her course at a higher altitude. Her competitor was still gaining on her, barely forty yards behind her now. She could see the finish line... she forced herself even faster, pushing herself to her limit. It was going to be close, he was close enough to touch her now, almost there...

“Yes!” she hissed, crossing the finish lines mere inches ahead of her imaginary opponent. Pumping her hoof in the air, she took a moment to indulge in the cheering of an imaginary Ponyville.

After a moment the smile faded from her face as the cheering only she could hear died out. What was the point of cheering without anything to cheer over, after all? The “race” was over, and the ponies were going home.

Of course, since she didn’t need to convince anypony to race against her, she could keep it up as long as she wanted, couldn’t she?

The invisible crowd silently roared as the two ponies once again took to the skies.


Okay, I was asking for that one, Dash thought as she untangled her limbs from the tree branches she had crashed into. For the last half hour, she had been flying faster and faster and looking for even harder obstacles to get through. Eventually, she had ended up at Sweet Apple Acres.

There are a handful pegasi in the world who can successfully navigate several hundred apples and tree branches every second while maintaining speed. Rainbow Dash was not one of them, and that was how she came to be tangled in branches with what might be best described as applesauce splattered over her face.

She wiped the gunk from her face with a hoof, then popped her head out above the branches. A glance at the sun and a quick guess as to how long she’d been “racing” suggested she should probably go and get ready for work. As she jumped out of the tree she grabbed an apple, then shot off towards town.


Far across the orchard, almost on the other side of the property, Big Mac and Applejack walked between the rows of trees, scanning trunks and leaves for signs of disease or infestation. For a time, neither pony spoke (nor did they see the two rainbow contrails).

“Ran inta Dash down at the market yesterday,” Applejack said eventually.

Big Mac didn’t say anything, but he didn’t need to—a raised eyebrow speaks a thousand words.

“She was actin’ mighty strange, too,” she continued, without waiting for him to speak. “Like a filly who’s been sneakin’ outta the cookie jar, then tries ta pretend she didn’t with the crumbs still on her face.” For a minute she didn’t say anything. Then, “We’re due ta get some raid today, right?”

“Eeyup.”

Applejack nodded. “Think I‘m gonna talk ta her when she comes by, then.” She nodded again. Nothing else was said.


Author's Note

Yeah, I know, it's short and not much happens. This was supposed to be part of a larger chapter, but I ran into a roadblock on the next bit of it. Already had this, so I figured I'd throw it up.

Anyways, I'm still looking for a prereader if there's anybody interested, and if anybody's got thoughts on where they'd like this to go... well, I've got it pretty much planned out, but screw it, I'm open to suggestion.