Storyteller of the Mild West. (Pilot Chapter)
Jack.
Chapter One: You're only a fool if you knew it was coming...
The train of Cattle Carts rumbled ungraciously down the tracks, bathed in the scent of feces, the sound of anguish and the cackles of the 'Drivers.
Mild West, Somewhere between Coltorado and Marewaukee.
'Candy has been shuffling us through the Mild West for little over two months now, set hoof on nothing but the green stained floorboards of this damn Slave Car in that time. That colt, the colt who we trusted because of that Apple-mare, sold us off to CandyLand. Couldn't of been more un-suspected if it snuck up on us and bit us in the hind-quarters.
Twenty or so stallions sneak to our camp, slaughter our chief and get us in train cars in a matter of half an hour, if I wasn't experiencing the aftermath right now i'd say that's impossible.
Now all we do is sit and wait, I don't think any of us are sure what's gonna come next.
Now it's nothing but a guessing game.
The smell was anything but pleasant, the feces, the urine, the vomit, the gruel, all culminating into one cloud of sickly odours. I'd been sitting up there for over an hour now waiting for that steam-driven buffalo transporter. Nothing but mah' rifle and a cantine to drive off a first if I got one at hoof. That was probably my thirty-seventh Slave-Break by then. Earlier that day I manage to beat a stallion senseless enough and get a mare drunk enough to get the details of that train. Six cars, forty-two guards and one-hundred and twenty-two captive buffalo. Candy' hadn't been taking much taste to his Zebra those last couple of months.
"Now, Ah' don't think any of you girls have an idea within spittin' distance of how to use a firearm,"Applejack said, gesturing to all the girls with an outstretched foreleg, only getting five head-shakes and a 'No you haven't Rainbow Dash'. "Thought not." Applejack continued.
"Well, out in the West, firearms have become somethin' of a comodity, just like slaves and salt. You don't own one, your either not a westerner or not a pony with freedom." Applejack paused for a second.
"You have a leg grip on the underside, the hammer on the right and the trigger on the left. Put your lucky hoof through the grip, pull the hammer back with your other and then pull back the trigger with the same," She let them think that over for a second. "Problem is the aiming, look past the trigger and you'll hit your mark the saying goes. Can any of you girls tell me how to make my hoof disappear? And no not with magic," Twilight lowered her hoof. "Exactly, and I have to hit five different ponies in quick success of each other." They tipped their heads and rose there eyebrows in a quizzical fashion.
"I was short in time so I took the shot, it bounces. I take another, it bounces again. I'm pretty peeved by now and empty the rest of the chamber into the guy. All the other stallions have noticed me by now and are pointing and hollering their hooves off." Applejack said leaning back in her chair before continuing.
"Turns out that the colt was deaf and had to have a friend of his point me out for him." Applejack said in an un-amused tone.
"That doesn't explain how he didn't feel any of your shots!" Dash cried in anger.
"Hoof to neck, wrought iron body armor, is the explanation my dear Dash. Turns out he was on Sheriff Proud Star's Bounty Board, payed a handsome price too." Applejack said, pulling a toothpick from her front pocket.
"Now, back to my tale, the slow ass had finally picked up on what was happening and decided he'd have a good look at me... after I was full 'o' holes. He decided to try that with the fancy piece of metal on his side that he to do a bit of cranking for, that translator of his running back and forth with mouthful's of bullets and spitting 'em into his trough, and my my, did that gun eat like a pig." Applejack said, finishing with a whistle of admirance.
"So what did you do next?! Huh?!" Pinkie Pie shouted, causing a small shower of popcorn to fall on the rest of the elements.
"Well mah' fine pink dame, I ran mah' hindquarters outta there quicker than one 'o' those bullets, running behind the hill crest and keeping pace with the loco'. Good bit of exercise that is, maybe you should take it up Rare', ya' looking a bit plump round the edges." She chuckled, being met with a fuming stare of murder that she didn't even bat an eye to.
"So, ah'm running behind this hill when I finally notice ah'm running outta walking space unless ah' wanna take a leisurely trot on the bottom of hoof-print lake that is." She let that hang in the air for a second.
"I run left and jump straight over the hill and onto a train car, second from the back to be exact. Turns out that Mister Hooves of Death had noticed my entire stunt and was two cars up from me." Applejack spat her toothpick into a nearby waste bin.
A minute passed.
"Aaaannnd? What happened next?" Rainbow Dash chorused.
"A hole load a' fun stuff." AJ replied.
"Are you gonna tell us?" Dash asked.
"Ah' was hoping I could save it and sell it to you as a book, ah' was gonna title 'Lone Ranger of Awesomeness in the West'. How that sound ta' you?" Applejack joked.
"Terrible, I'd prefer to hear it now." Twilight said.
"Even a Badflank as Dashie likes to call em' needs her rest." Applejack yawned.
"Aw..." The five ponies sighed, even Fluttershy.
"Heh... Well, ah' had made arrangements to grab an apple pie or two in Sugar Cube Corner and i'll probably be there for a while." Applejack continued. The rest of the ponies started to smile and have their ears perk up.
"I guess ah' could have lunch with you gals then." Applejack broke into a sly smile.
"Oh and Dashie?" Rainbow Dash's ears perked up at the sound of her name.
"Burn those Daring Do books would ya'?"
Author's Note
This is a Pilot of my new story which I will continue and try to finish as best I can, but only if you guys say I should so go and post in the comments and I'll get back to you.
-Tehmustachedbiscuit
