Stars and Sparkles

Jack Harness flapped his wings, trying to regain control. Too late. He smacked into a roof, hitting his head. "Oooww," he muttered, shaking his noggin back and forth. How did any of these...things... fly? If anyone (anypony, whatever) besides the Doctor had asked him to do this, he would've chucked them out the window. Bumping around a town of brightly colored pony-things did not sit well with him. The whole thing was so strange! Bad enough were the markings on their rumps, but some of them had horns! And others (like him) had wings. The first thing he remembered was stumbling out of the TARDIS (she had sucked him into some mad portal) and seeing that he had turned into an navy blue pony. With wings. The Doctor called him a pegasus. Brilliant. That didn't mean he could use these bloody things! Those muffins had better be good. If the Doctor's funny-eyed companion could cook at all. He hadn't said that out loud, though. Clump! He hit another roof. This unicorn he was following –Sparkler– had to be the thickest pony around, if she still hadn't heard or seen him. On second thought, she couldn't be that dense. Jack still remembered the first time he had met her...

After faceplanting out of the TARDIS, Jack had found the Doctor. In a pony house. With more ponies. The Doctor himself was light brown (how come he got the normal color?) and had a spiky chestnut mane. Then there was the little lavender unicorn (her name was Doinky or something), the Doctor's gray pegasus companion (Derpy) with the kooky yellow eyes, and the Mad Queen herself.

He still didn't know if her coat was pink or lavender-ish, like her sister's. Her mane and tail were divided into sections of light and dark purple. Her horn was purple. Even her eyes were purple. She scared him, mainly because the first time he saw the Doctor's cross-eyed companion, he had asked him, "What's wrong with her eyes?" He could tell that he had hurt the funny-looking pony's feelings, she turned red and swallowed hard. But she had stayed where she was.

The purply-pink unicorn, on the other hand (hoof, sure),  had moved faster than he thought possible. In the blink of an eye she had him pinned to the wall, her hooves grinding into his shoulders (if ponies had shoulders). "There is nothing wrong with my mother," she had hissed through gritted teeth.

"Yeow!" he'd yelped, as his wingblades (?) scraped against the wall. That bloody hurt!

"There is nothing wrong with my mother, and if you say anything like that again,  I will-" The Doctor had pulled Sparkler off of him at that point and carried her by the scruff of her neck up to her room, with her still screaming threats at him. Later, the Doctor had explained to Jack that Derpy was his companion, and there was nothing wrong with her. "Except for her eyesight," Jack had joked. He could still feel the Doctor glaring at him.

"Her eyesight is just fine, thank you very much," he had growled defensively.

In time, Jack had learned to accept the companion's funny stare, and she never seemed to hold his first comment against him. She was nice enough, he guessed. But Sparkler still scared him.

Jack was shaken out of his reverie by noise from down below. The unicorn had been cornered by a small group of...fillies? Were those ponies her friends? Not likely. He'd just seen how sad the Mad Queen looked after that other unicorn basically booted her out of the library. It had been tricky, but Jack had managed to find a perch in the branches of that enormous tree. Seeing how sad and lonely she had looked almost made him feel sorry for her...but his still-aching wingblades begged to differ.

"So, Sparkler," began the leader of the pack; a yellow unicorn with a wavy brown mane and tail streaked with purple. "It's been a while, hasn't it?"

"Not long enough, Cassandra," grumbled Sparkler. "What's up? Come to torture me again?"

"Torture you, sweetie? Not at all!" simpered Cassandra. "I–we–were just coming to see how you were doing. You know, since we've all missed you so much..."

Jack felt a prickle on the back of his neck, as if someone was watching him. Looking up, he saw a light blue pegasus with a rainbow mane sitting on a cloud. She was staring at him with narrowed magenta eyes. Jack grinned at her nervously. Her gaze didn't waver. Suddenly, she sprang backwards off the cloud and soared through the air, landing at a building that looked as if it was made out of sweets. Pushing open the two-part door, she stepped inside.

"So, how's your life going?" Cassandra was asking Sparkler.

"It's going well," replied Sparkler shortly.

"That's good! How's your family life going? You know my little sis, Diamond Tiara? Well, the other day she was saying how she won the spelling bee at school. And she said that  your sister, Dinky, came in second place. Is she doing okay?"

"Dinky is fine. She's actually making straight As in all of her classes. And, you know, she won the math-a-thon. Also, she said something about a certain pony cheating in the spelling bee..."

"I have no idea what you're talking about, honey." Cassandra's giggle sounded fake. "How's your mom?"

Sparkler's ear twitched, but her reply was even. "My mom is wonderful, thank you very much. How's yours?"

"Oh, she's great! But Sparklie, your mom. How's her...condition?"

"Don't call me Sparklie. And you're talking nonsense. My mom does not have a condition."

"Well, then, what do you call her..." Cassandra rolled her eyes around in her head madly. Sparkler's ears flattened against the sides of her head and she growled in the back of her throat. But Cassandra wasn't done. "Does she have trouble reading? Did you read Dinky's report card to her? That's so sweet of you, hon. Is it hard with your mother? How does your father deal with it? Oh, that's right. Your father left. You don't have a father. Poor dear!"

"You horse apple!" screamed Sparkler, slamming her hoof down into the road. "I have a father!"

"Oh, that's right, there's that crazy stallion who lives in a phone booth! He calls himself what... the Doctor? And watch your language, Sparkler. I think you're starting to..." –she did her mad-pony impression again– "...develop a condition, too-" Cassandra broke off as Sparkler let out a screech, tackled her and knocked her over. The rest of the group scattered. Jack tensed, but questioned himself: whose side was he on? Technically, he should try to stop Sparkler from committing murder, but Cassandra pretty much deserved whatever she got. He resolved to refrain from jumping in on Sparkler's behalf, but to stop her if it looked like she was going to kill Cassandra. For now, he would just see what happened.

Unfortunately, Cassandra did not get what was coming to her. Sparkler's horn lit up with glowing pink magic. Her face was twisted in rage. "You leave my mother alone," she growled.

Cassandra smirked. Her own horn lit up with light yellow magic and she disappeared, only to pop back into existence right behind Sparkler. She swiped a front hoof at the back of Sparkler's head. It connected, and Sparkler face-planted hard. Judging from her surprised expression, the yellow mare hadn't meant to hit Sparkler that hard. But that didn't mean she was sorry. Daintily, Cassandra strolled away from the unicorn sprawled out helplessly in the street. "Yeah, right," she tossed back over her shoulder.

Jack felt himself growl, and guessed that his blue tail was lashing back and forth. His wings spread out and flapped once, and he knew that they would work this time, just well enough to get him down so he could slap that pony across the face. But just then, a high-pitched voice behind him squealed, "Hi!"

"AAH!" Jack shot up into the air.

"I got him!" shouted another voice and he slammed into... a gray cloud? As he watched, it turned white. There was a splashing noise, and someone(fine, somepony) shrieked down below. "Oops, wrong cloud," the voice chuckled sheepishly. "Sorry, Sparkler!"

"Sparkler?" questioned the high-pitched voice. "Are you okay? You don't look so good."

Sparkler. Oh, bloody-  A muffled voice called out something. "Sorry? I can't hear you! Your face is kind of stuck in the ground," the annoying voice continued.

"I saib," Sparkler repeated, peeling her head off of the ground, "bat I'm fine, Binkie Bie. But bat wasn't funny, Rainbow. Amb-" her voice wavered. "Amb I bink by nose is bleebing. Which way is by house?"

"That-a-way!" Pinkie chirped. "But why is your nose bleeding? Were you practicing your face-walking? 'Cause I'm the world champ at that, you know." Looking down, Jack saw a pink pony with a crazy, even pinker hairstyle standing on her head, traveling with just her nose and ears. She bounced off of her pink mane and landed right on her feet...er, hooves. "Whee!"

"And that wasn't me!" a voice protested from behind Jack. "It was him! Well, Pinkie scared him, and he jumped up, and I tried to catch him in a cloud, but I grabbed a raincloud and..." This time looking up, Jack saw the blue rainbow pony that had been watching him earlier. She was pointing her hoof at him. "He was watching you, too, Sparkler. Do you know him?"

The game was up. Jack peeked over the edge of the cloud and waved, grinning meekly at Sparkler. The pink pony next to her waved back enthusiastically with a big grin on her face, like she couldn't wait to see Sparkler pop him in the face. As soon as he saw Sparkler, though, Jack's weak grin faded. Her nose was bleeding (badly) and her face was bruised. She was dripping wet, her mane and tail plastered down with rainwater. But the worst part was her murderous glare.

"JACK HARNESS!" she hollered.

"That's me," he called down.

"Hi, Jack!" called the mad(der) pony. "Is that your name? My name's Pinkie Pie! Are you new to Ponyville?"

"Yes, I am. Nice to meet you, Pinkie, although I think I'm about to die."

"Why's that, silly-willy?"

"Eh, no reason. Just the pony next to you."

"Sparkler won't hurt you! She's just been practicing her face-walking and screaming, that's all! Right, Sparkler?"

Next to Pinkie, Sparkler looked as if she was about to spontaneously combust any minute from anger. Eventually, she collapsed. "Sure, Binkie. I just bant to go home." Slowly picking herself up, Sparkler began the slow trudge back to her house.

"Well, I should probably go with her," Jack said. "Nice meeting you, Pinkie. And-?"

"The name's Dash, Rainbow Dash," announced the blue pegasus, putting her hooves on her hips and striking an epic pose.

"Right. See you later, then."

"Bye, Jack!" squealed Pinkie. "Bye, Sparkler! See you later!"