When Will is Not Enough

by RealBarenziah

Rating: teen
Tags: Sad, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Fluttershy, Iron Will
Length: 2507

All his life, Iron Will has been strong. He's transformed ponies from doormats into dynamos. He's never fallen in a fight, he's never given way in an argument. And now he is dying.

Iron Will is dying.
Weakening as each day passes, Iron Will struggles to cope with his fast-approaching end. Fortunately, an old friend has come to ease his passing.

One-shot

Published 2013-06-25 18:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-06-25 18:00:02 UTC

Up and Away

"No!" Iron Will roared. "Iron Will will not take any more pills! I've wasted enough time in this place! I'm leaving!"
"No, Iron Will, please!" The nurse tried to push him back into the bed, but he was far too strong. He threw off the cover and jumped down. "No! Sir, please! You have to lie down!"
Despite her best efforts, Iron Will made his way across the room to the door.

"I don't have time for medications and test results! I have a seminar to...to..." Iron will suddenly was overcome by vertigo. He wobbled precariously as he tried to keep his balance. He was seeing double, then triple, then quadruple. He heard the nurse calling for help. Her voice was warbled and muffled. All sounds dampened. The world turned dark, and Iron Will collided with the cold hospital floor. He was unconscious.

beep... beep... beep...
"Shut up...."
beep...beep...beep
"I said...SHUT UP!"

Iron Will struck out at the heart monitor next to him, but he lost his strength and only succeeded in glancing the side of the screen. The heart monitor rolled a few inches away from the bed with a small squeak. Iron Will's arm dangled over the side of the bed. Hey lay there a moment, trying to catch his breath.

He hated this. He'd been in the hospital for the past three months, and every day he got weaker. The muscles he had painstakingly maintained over the years were useless. Before, he could pick ponies up by the tail and fling them away effortlessly. Now, the smallest bit of exertion rendered him breathless. He had never felt so weak in his life, and it was only going to get worse.

About two months ago, after Iron Will had endured test after test after test, the results finally came. His doctor, who had been coming in daily with new questions and medications, very suddenly stopped talking about his health and more about the weather. Iron Will wasn't at all in the mood to put up with his sugarcoated nonsense.
So instead, he asked up front, "I'm going to die, aren't I?"
The doctor had choked on his next words. He gulped, and was silent for a while. Finally he nodded gravely.
He tried to apologize, "I'm sorry-"
"Don't give me any of that!" Iron Will interrupted. "You apologize, I criticize! Why didn't my own doctor catch this earlier?" He glared at the doctor, and the spindly earth pony shrunk back in fear.
"I-I'm sorry, Iron Will," he said. "But nopony could have seen this coming. It-it's not the sort of thing that you can see in its early stages..."

Iron Will stopped listening. He ignored the doctor's condolences. He ignored the nurses fussing around him. He ignored the trays of food that appeared and disappeared on the table beside him. He ignored the rise and fall of sun outside his window. The world became a blur. He was alone, trapped in a hospital bed, in a decaying body, without any hope of escape.
He was going to die.
He is going to die.
Soon.
Very soon.

His fall was swift soon after. Iron Will was soon too weak to leave the hospital, and without anyone to go to, he didn't see any point in going home. Dying in his own bed or the hospital's, it was all the same. Either way he'd end up dead, so why spend more bits than necessary? It would cost a fortune to hire an ambulance to take him to his home in Los Pegasus, and Filly Delphia was as good a place to die as any, so he stayed put.

Iron Will finally recovered enough strength to pull his arm back up. He grunted in frustration, wishing he could lift his head off of the pillow. At least he had that nifty gadget to change the angle of his bed. He held the button down until he was sitting almost upright. He scanned the room, only to find it as stark and boring as usual. The morning sun was beaming through the window, setting the floor ablaze with glare. The table next to his elbow held his breakfast, which he felt no desire to eat. Next to that was a manilla envelope, which he had no desire to even think about.

He turned his head away, and waited for the day to be over. Only about twelve more hours to go. As usual, a nurse came in and went about the morning routine. She made some final notes on the clipboard and hung it back up on the foot of the bed. Iron Will was surprised when she suddenly spoke.
"Visiting hours have started," she said. Iron Will raised an eyebrow. Why was she telling him this? When she didn't say anything more, he asked. She gave a sympathetic...no, a pitying smile and said, "With your condition...It's been a while now. I thought perhaps you might want to call somepony. To..."
"To say goodbye," he finished for her. "No need. There's no one around."

The nurse nodded and gave another weak smile before departing. Iron Will looked up at the ceiling. It was true, there was no one waiting for him. All his goat employees had been hired elsewhere. There was no family to speak of. No friends. He was alone. The great motivator, Iron Will, left alone to die in cold hospice. With that thought Iron Will's eyes slid shut and he fell asleep.

When he woke, it couldn't have been later than midday. His breakfast tray had been swapped out for a lunch one, and it looked just as unappetizing. The envelope still sat there, and he again neglected it. He surveyed the room. It was unchanged. The same tile floor. Same machines tick, tick, ticking away with his heartbeat. Same stupid plant in the corner. The same bluish green walls. The same splash of yellow and pink...except, there was never any yellow or pink in that room.

Iron Will blinked his eyes at the figure sitting in the chair in the corner.
"W-who..." his voice was gruff and choked from sleep.
"Oh," the pony said. "You're awake." Her voice was soft, like a springtime breeze. When she came closer, Iron Will saw her soft pink mane flowing gracefully down her neck. He saw her wings folded neatly behind her back. He saw her large, ocean-green eyes smiling back at him.

"Fluttershy?" He said, his voice still hoarse. "What...what are you...I wasn't expecting to see you here."
She gave him a small, genuine smile. It was the most sincere smile Iron Will had seen in months.
"I heard about your condition," she said. "And I wanted to see you."
"You wanted to see...me? But we haven't seen each other in...in..."
"It's been a few years, Iron Will."
"No..." Iron Will shifted in his bed. "No, it's been more than a few..."
"And you've been touring Equestria the whole time, haven't you?"
Iron Will grunted. "I made a fortune...great deal of good it did me..."

"Iron Will," Fluttershy said gently. She glanced at the envelope on the table. "That envelope, is it...have you...sorted everything out?"
Iron Will slammed his fist on the table. "No!" he shouted. "I haven't sorted everything out! I don't need to!" He was suddenly overtaken with a fit of coughing, and all his strength evaporated. He lay back against his pillow and tried to catch is breath. He closed his eyes.

"You should take it easy," Fluttershy said.
Iron Will growled. "Take it easy...pah..."
Fluttershy looked down and let him rest a moment. He opened his eyes and mumbled, "Why are you here?"
"I didn't want you to be alone."
"You shouldn't have come. I don't need anyone with me. I'm fine on my own." Iron Will crossed his arms.
"In life, yes, I have no doubt. You were strong. You were unbeatable."
"I still am!" Iron Will said angrily.

"No, Iron Will," Fluttershy said firmly. "Not anymore. I came here because I didn't want you to be alone. But I also came because I knew you would need help."
"Help with what?" he asked grumpily.
"With letting go."

Iron Will's anger flared up in his chest, but his body was too weak to do anything about it.
"Get out," he growled. "Go away. I don't want you here!"
"Iron Will!" Fluttershy scowled and stood firm. "That's enough." She reminded Iron Will of a mother scolding her child. "Breath a moment," she said. "Calm down."

Iron Will fell silent and closed his eyes again. "Fluttershy..." he trailed away. He felt her hoof rest against his hand. "Fluttershy...I don't want to die."
"No one wants to die, Iron Will. But we all do. It doesn't matter how strong or healthy we are. Death always finds us."
"Fluttershy...that's really depressing."
"No it's not." Iron Will opened his eyes and stared at her like she was from an alien planet. She merely gave him a small smile. "Death isn't something to fear. It's a natural, and beautiful part of life."

Iron Will shook her hoof away. "What is so beautiful about this?" he motioned to his paling, useless body. "Or these?" He pointed to the numerous tubes connected to him. "There is nothing, I repeat: nothing beautiful about any of this."
"You don't understand," Fluttershy said patiently. "It's not about all of that. This isn't a time to be sad. On the contrary, it's a happy time."
"Happy?" Iron Will growled. "Happy? I'm dying. Everything I know is leaving me behind. All the things I was putting off will never come to pass now. All my chances, for anything, everything, are gone. The world will forget about me. It'll be as if I had never existed. There's nothing left...there's just...nothing..."

Fluttershy looked down for a moment, and Iron Will let the silence stretch on. Finally she smiled.
"Animals have a special connection with the world, you know," she said. "It's a connection that not all of them are aware of, but it's there. They're connected to the river. The rise and fall, the ebb and flow."
"What river?" Iron Will asked quietly.
"The river of life. The force that flows through everything. The magic that binds everything together, and tears it apart at the same time. Few animals can see it. Even fewer can understand it. And no pony can comprehend it."
"You really believe in that nonsense?"

"It's not nonsense," she replied calmly. "because I've seen it. Ever since I was young I've had a special connection with animals. I could understand them, and my talent only grew with age. I started to comprehend things. Nothing big, just small, tiny things. But they were things that could never be explained no matter what words I tried to use. I grew an understanding of life that only a rare few animals are gifted with."
She placed her hoof on his hand again. "Iron Will, trust me, please. This is all part of the flow."

"No...No..." Iron Will muttered.
"The river is receding. We are all but leaves floating on the surface. You have to follow it out."
Iron Will felt heat welling up under his eyes. "Out...out where?"
"To the sea."

"That doesn't make any sense...None of that makes any sense," Iron Will's heart increased in rhythm.
"Iron Will..." Fluttershy's voice was almost a whisper.
"I...I..." He felt fear pounding in his chest. He clutched the bed sheet tightly.
"Let go."
"No..." Iron Will's voice quivered. "No, I don't want to."
"Shh..." She rested a hoof against his shoulder. "It's okay."

"But I...I never visited the Crystal Empire," tears were building up over Iron Will's eyes. "I never fixed the leaky pipe in my sink. I never tried one of Pony Joe's donuts...I didn't...do anything. My life is wasted."
"No," Fluttershy insisted, wiping away the tears that were now streaming down his face. "No, Iron Will. You've done great good. In your youth, you struggled."
A memory of his childhood surfaced in his mind. He had been so thin, but so large. A giant in a pony's world. A misfit. An outcast.
"You were a victim of great cruelty..."
He remembered the shadows. The dirt in his face. The laughter. The silence.
"But it made you strong. Impenetrable. And you wanted to share that strength."
He remembered standing tall above a crowd. He couldn't remember the words he had said, but it had felt good to say them.

"You loved."
She had a blue coat and pale yellow mane. Her eyes were like a sunset, and her smile was a song.
"And you lost."
She packed her things in a little red suitcase. She said it wasn't working out, that a pony and minotaur could never be together for long.
"But you never let pain control you. You kept moving forward."
The crowds were small. Then medium. Then large. Then colossal. They came from miles around to see him.
"You helped ponies the only way you knew how. You gave them courage."

"But..." Iron Will muttered, his voice worn and raspy. "I got greedy. I only cared about the bits..."
Fluttershy took his face between her hooves. "There is no creature on the face of this earth who is free of fault, Iron Will. You have a good heart, and the world is better now that you've walked upon it."
"Fluttershy..." his voice was weary and didn't rise above a whisper. He studied her face. "I haven't seen you in so long...It's been so many years but...you haven't aged a day."

"Iron Will, I died three years ago."
"You...You're..."
Fluttershy lit into the air and placed a tiny kiss on Iron Will's forehead. "It's time to go," she said.
"But...But I..." Fluttershy tugged on his hands and he sat up. "I'm not ready."
Fluttershy didn't reply. She only smiled softly at him and let silence fall. In that silence Iron Will heard a single solitary note playing from the electronic ensemble around him. The heart monitor had flat-lined.
"It's okay, Iron Will."
The light from the window seemed so bright.
"Fluttershy...I'm tired."
"Then come and rest," She said. She flapped her wings and lifted him up. "They're waiting for you."

"Who?"
"Everyone. Everything. All that has ever been, and all that will be."
Together they rose up, and everything got brighter and brighter until the world dissolved, and everything became pure and soft.
Up and up they went.
Up and away.

Author's Note

Author's Note

I've stumbled upon a small writer's block concerning Fragile and Season Unending, so I shifted my focus to my other unpublished fics. I've been wanting to try my hand at sad fics and I had this idea down for a while. I think it turned out okay, maybe a bit sappy and metaphysical towards the end, but what can I say? I'm a sappy metaphysical kind of person.

I hope you enjoyed it! Please let me know what you think in the comments below.

-RealBarenziah