Myths and Consequences

"Ah, tis a shining example of civilization!" boomed Luna exuberantly as she peered about, delighted as a foal on their first outing.

They were cantering down one of the lesser used streets of Twit. Garbage and beggars strewn casually about while beady rodent eyes, pony and non pony, studied the trio from darkened doors, windows, and grates. It was a cluster of buildings crouched around an army outpost which was manned more from habit than necessity. The soldiers they occasionally encountered had degenerated enough from the crisp recruiting poster model that it was frequently difficult to tell which seemed more menacing and unsavory, the guards or the obviously criminal types they were supposed to be watching.

"Seems a bit more like the stagnation that pony kind here has left behind." Whispered Celestia.

"Tis what we meant! A shining example of civilization!"

Twilight felt rather insulted, sure she was pointing out the dregs of society, but it was her society either way. She kept her peace though, not wanting to take Luna's bait for another one of her philosophical lectures.

"Celestia...is it me, or are the people staring at us?"

"Do relax, a new town takes to any and all strangers with a bit of skepticism, trying to gauge us. Our we victims in waiting, or victimizers. Our job of course it to make them believe we're in the second category, its a matter of reputation and principal, something you'd do well to learn."

Illustrating her point, Celestia turned horn aglow as it gripped her sword handle. The blade slid out with a flourish and was quickly brandished, tip towards the now empty streets where unknown figures quickly faded into the shadow of their doors and windows.

One figure didn't move though. A mare sat upon a window sill, her ample flank dressed with carefully selected lace, stockings covering the rest of the legs, and a smile upon her face, one directed at Celestia. Celestia smiled, giving a wink and a wave towards the mare before placing her sword back in its sheath slowly. The mare ran an insolent tongue tip slowly around her lip and winked in return.

"Er Celestia?"

"Yes Twilight?" she replied, eyes still glued to the mare.

"I uh...hate to interrupt, but you're supposed to be a doddering old man, remember?"

Celestia was disguised as Star Swirl, Luna looked like the beardless twin brother, and poor Twilight had to take on the guise of a certain apple mare whom they had buried outside of town.

Twilight had been shocked at first by the very idea of it, but then Celestia pointed out, the statue didn't need air to breath and it would make keeping her safe all the more easier.

"Oh I know, some towns just have different taste than others."

"Well could you stop whipping that sword around, I thought it was our surprise weapon."

"Oh do lighten up, thy intellect is strong, thy casualness is lacking." Spoke Luna, tutting Twilight. Besides, we do believe the wench has thine eyes upon ye flanks."

Twilight should have gotten more satisfaction at how well she was able to hold disguises now without consciously thinking about it. Of course she didn't. She found it unnerving that she had to remember that people saw her as someone completely different compared to the truth that she saw of herself and her companions.

She glanced up at the wench in the window. As their eyes met, the mares smile broadened noticeably. She displayed more of her enthusiasm by leaning more of her flank out the window until Twilight began to worry that she would fall out of the window...or her dress.

"Ahh see the benefits of thy spell!" Luna clapped her wing upon Twilight's shoulder, it invisible to all others. "Magic does have its perks does it not?"

"I'd rather she was attracted to me for me, as I really am." came the grumbling reply.

"Oh, we take to mares do we?" chuckled the lunar alicorn.

"No!" came the quick bite.

"Well, it is the price of success Twilight," Celestia responded over Luna's jests. "Well, no matter. We're here on business remember."

"Right!" affirmed Luna.

"Sure..." sighed Twilight turning without a thought.

Celestia yelped and threw a firm glare at Twilight, massaging her rear leg, a red welt in the shape of a sword slowly rising upon it.

"Watch your sword Twilight, that is the fifth time, and I will put it to use in a way that will be most disagreeable to you." She hissed over the pain.

"I'm sorry, its just so...point heavy!"

"Do you know what that means?"

"Well you said that..."

"I said it was point heavy for me," she had of course taken Applejack's good blade, leaving the older one to Twilight as a show of strength. "It is all a matter of personal preference. Pretend it is not there, think of it as being as a part of you."

"I did...that's when I keep hitting you!"

Celestia sighed. "Well...go over the finer points of that later."

Out of the corner of Twilight's eye, she could see the mare clapping her hooves in silent applause before blowing her a kiss. It donned upon Twilight that this mare thought her accidental blunder was a deliberate act to quell rivalry. What's more, she approved of the gesture.

Twilight blushed as she gave the mare a closer look. Maybe later she could give her teachers the slip for a while and...

"Where in Tartarus is he!" muttered Luna. "This goat is proving to be a difficult find."

"How do we go about finding him?" Twilight turned, distracted by Luna's outburst.

"With guile and cunning!" with that Luna looked down a cross street they had moved onto and bellowed. "To where is the rug merchant Wrinkles!"

"To the south three blocks and then west four you idiot!" a large unicorn hollered.

Twilight groaned, if she weren't so preoccupied with walking, she would have slammed her face into the ground from the sheer embarrassment.

"There, we now have our destination! Let us make haste then." Luna began trotting down the street. "Do not worry, for we will be upon our query!"

"We have to be careful Twilight...this must be of the utmost secrecy...so why did we alert everyone in town to what our needs were?"

"Oh do lighten up Twilight." Celestia chimed in. "Its called blending in. If we were to be polite and civil, we would surely target ourselves as ponies with questionable intentions. Being rude, and obnoxious to others allows us to blend in with the populace. They won't pay any attention to us because we are being extremely lewd and verbal in our actions. The more stealth you employ, the more obvious you become."

"I...I guess I understand..."

"Good!" interrupted Luna. "We hath arrived at our destination!"

She gestured with a hoof towards a blacksmith and leather-worker's display. Nestled between the two was a rather obvious display of a rug shop. Even Twilight recognized it for what it was, hardly ever living in a city so large. Aside from the large sign and rugs adorning its facade, it was lavishly decorated in the rudest colors meant to slap the blind upside the head. Twilight found it unforgivably gaudy.

So engrossed in their previous conversation, Twilight suddenly felt the chill of nerves hitting her.

"What do we do now?" she asked.

"Tis simple, we drink!" Luna's hoof quickly sailed through the air, away form the shop to point out a tavern across the street from it.

"Drink?" Twilight nearly shouted.

"Indeed, if we are to match wits with a Gehenna, we will need something to settle our minds, and our stomachs." Agreed Celestia. "it is a most important thing to remember when dealing with a goat."

"But drinking?" Twilight whined, following the two into the tavern.

It was a dingy affair, even to her rustic eyes. A faded awning sullenly provided shade for a small cluster of wooden tables. Flies buzzed around a fat cat slumbering in a corner...at least Twilight liked to assume it was asleep.

As she unhitched her equipment and draped it upon a chair, she could her the two princesses bellowing at the innkeeper for two of his largest flagons of hard cider, or wine, it was hard to say, as long as it had alcohol, it would satisfy them. Twilight sighed with a hint of despair as, believing the two alicorns would never adapt to their disguise properly, yet from watching the innkeepers expression, he seemed tot take it in stride, maybe attitude did have something to do with being disguised.

Soon the two returned, grins plastered upon there muzzles as they slammed heavy tankards upon the table.

"Happy?" asked Twilight.

"Pleased!" they both replied.

"So...whatever happened to dealing with this goat?" Twilight grumbled, sinking into her chair.

"Relax Twilight." Said Celestia after a heavy swig. "A few minutes will not do any harm, besides, he seems to have taken company."

Twilight craned her head, looking over her shoulder to see that Celestia had indeed stated a rather obvious fact. A trio of ponies were conversing with the rug shops keeper. One adorned in a garish set of clothes, her cape flapping in the wind, and a rugged wizards cap upon her head. Her compatriots were two twins, though one sported a mustache.

The shop keeper had quickly invited them in with a sweep of his fore hoof and an oily smile plastered upon his face.

"We could not conduct business with the likes of them inside, it is good that we should wait!" Luna slurred, letting loose a belch. "Oh excuse us!"

The innkeeper merely gawked at the princesses as with a flick of their mugs, the alcohol was emptied.

"Ah ha! Another!" shouted Luna. "And a bucket if you must, these tankards hardly hold an amount worthy of our gullet!"

With a quick nod and retreat into the back room, the inn keeper busied himself tending to the princesses, unnerved by their amazing display of tolerance. Twilight had grown used to this, observing that both princesses had an amazing talent for alcohol consumption. What truly vexed her though was that she had yet to put in an order herself.

Eventually she would find herself with a goblet of wine to wet her lips with, if only her nerves weren't so loose, she would have enjoyed it. As a result she wound up taking slow and small sips of wine whilst her mentors happily drained their drinks. It was quite some time, an hour in fact and yet still no trio came out of that shop.

Luna was loosing patience.

"What does it take to select thy floor adornments! Come we shall see what holds them!"

Luna quickly stood from her chair, dropping a few coins. Quickly she left for the rug shop, Celestia and Twilight in tow.

"What about those ponies?" asked Twilight.

"We shall have to inspire them to conclude business then!" came the sharp reply.

It had a vaguely ominous ring to it, and Luna's toothy grin did little to settle Twilight's stomach at the possible graphic content floating through the lunar princesses mind.

As Twilight debated whether or not to dissuade Luna, Celestia laid a gentle wing upon Twilight, gesturing for a moment of silence. They both hurried to catch up with the younger alicorn who quickly entered the shop.

Twilight feared the worst, but instead of a trio of innocents for Luna to berate, the shop stood rather empty, save for the presence of an old unicorn, whose slick oil grin oozed with a sense of greed.