"He said WHAT?" The president screamed, his phone flashing red to show the microphone was clipping.

"Military aide, sir," Kyle responded, holding his phone a few inches away from his ear. The President normally didn't yell, but he was probably justified in this case.

"That fucking idiot, fatass son of a bitch," the President growled. "That- Jesus Christ. Does he have any idea what giving them assistance will do? I mean, with China's current threats, you'd think he'd know that we can't promise to do anything but get her back! Hell, not even that!"

"Well, sir, he doesn't actually know China's current threats," Kyle pointed out, trying to ignore the fact that he was, technically, protecting Tony Acone. "Neither do I."

"Let's just say that, well, they're not pretty." The President mumbled. "Very, very, very not pretty."

"Do they want to talk to her?" Kyle asked.

"Well... Sort of." the President muttered. "I don't want to discuss it."

Kyle rolled his eyes. Maybe he would eventually get promoted to a high-level cabinet member, so the President would actually tell him what was going on, for once in his life. No more of this vague bullshit.

"So I tell Acone to tell Twilight to screw off?" Kyle asked.

"What? Twilight?" The president asked, annoyed.

"That's her name, sir." Kyle responded. trying to keep the edge out of his voice.

"Oh, right, whatever," the President muttered, before continuing, "Yeah, that'd be ideal. Doubt that idiot would listen, though. No, for now, we need to just lay low. Say nothing about the horse to anybody unless they really need to know. This is already a media circus as it is."

"My lips are sealed." Kyle responded, his tone dry.

"Good. Don't let Tony screw this up any harder than I already is."

With a click, the President hung up, put his phone away, and spun around in his chair. Acone hadn't even bothered to consider that Midnight -- or whatever her name was -- could be lying. He might have just made a deal with some kind of equine Hitler, for all he knew.

Thankfully, he had no actual authority. All he had really done was get her hopes up.

China was angry. Russia was angrier. Even the Prime Minister of Canada had called him up, although he was more annoyed that she hadn't materialized a few miles north than angry.

The President was purposefully delaying talking to the horse. After all, she apparently had freaking magic powers. He didn't want to get hypnotized, or something. For now, he was letting Kyle (and, to his eternal chagrin, Acone) handle actual interaction, while he got a framework in place for proper negotiation.

While this was a huge headache, the President wasn't entirely pessimistic. Magic was, well, freaking magic. Who knew what they could do with that? Not only that, but Kyle's reports indicated that the visitor knew very little of modern technology. Her world had the potential to become the biggest consumer of exports the United States had ever seen.

Getting there was the problem. Especially since it looked like it was going to involve the military.

He had no doubt they could crush anything that came their way. Some of the Control Key Fliers - Which he mentally called by the acronym CCF even though they hated it - had let him take a spin behind their bots once. Those things were insane, and there was so many of them that anything could be overwhelmed - magic or not. If the opposition (changelingadingdongschlongmongs or whatever the hell they were called) didn't surrender immediately, they would get ripped to shreds. Well, unless they pulled their own super-weapons out their asses, but that didn't seem likely.

Then again, it could be a trap. Maybe the Unicorn was some kind of scout and just pretending to not know anything about technology while her race finished the trip to Earth from whatever hellish dimension they called home. Earth could be under the control of inter-dimensional monsters, surrounded in an anti-reproductive field with giant propaganda-playing video screens all over the place in a few days.That wouldn't be good.

The president stood up, slowly walking over to the wall. He took his phone back out of his pocket and flipped it on, flicking through a few screens to get to his email.

As suspected, the Chinese Chairman had responded already. Something about "protecting the international community" and "preventing the United States from monopolizing the biggest diplomatic meeting in the history of the world." Yeah, right. If she had landed there she'd probably be vivisected by now. The president continued scanning the email. Something about how they hoped everybody would "get along" to produce the best possible outcome, blah blah blah...

Eventually, the president found what he was looking for. The Chairman "strongly suggested" that Twilight be allowed to meet with a council of UN delegates "as soon as it is healthy enough to do so."

Great. He couldn't really refuse without looking like he was up to something, but, well, the last thing he wanted was for this horse to tell all the countries of the world that she was technically a military delegate. They would go completely apeshit. Well, more apeshit than they had already.

God dammit. Why did this happen during his presidency? I mean, yeah, it was a free trip to the history books, but he had a 50/50 chance of being known as "the President that screwed up Earth's First Contact." Not exactly what he wanted.

Then again, he was the president. The people had voted for him because they thought he was a good leader.

Of course, they had probably expected him to deal with trade regulations and random civil rights issues more than talking flying unicorns from a different dimension on a mission to get military aide.

Author's Note

Using China as the bad guy is cheap, I know.

Also I totally forget if I named the president yet. Did I?

Unedited, so if it sucks I'm sorry. I just felt I had to ship an update.