Idle Luna

by nifboy

Rating: everyone
Tags: Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Luna, Comedy
Length: 4141

Short stories of Luna's return to the castle, and her relationship with Celestia

Luna has returned to Celestia's side, but Luna would rather lounge about the castle than return to her old job as co-ruler.

This fic was featured on Equestria Daily on July 4, 2011 (well before Luna Eclipsed).

Published 2012-02-13 12:04:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-02-13 12:04:01 UTC

Idle Luna

The two royal sisters sat on the eastern balcony. The setting sun was hidden from view behind the rest of the palace, with the only hint of its presence in the red glow of the surrounding landscape. Celestia's horn shone softly as the land grew darker and less distinct. The stars slowly faded into view. The elder sister gave a warm smile to the younger and spoke softly, "Whenever you feel ready." The light faded from Celestia's horn; the sun had set, and the sky was awaiting the rise of the moon with its eternal patience.

Luna nodded and took a deep breath. After a moment, she let out her breath and rose to her hooves. Closing her eyes, Luna began to weave the ancient magics that she had been away from for so long and yet were still so intimately familiar to her. She could feel the moon, feel the craters and valleys that spanned its surface. The maria and mountains filled Luna's mind, not only those visible to the Earth, but spanning its entire surface. She knew it all.

Luna’s thoughts returned to her former prison. The magic Luna wove began to take on a life of its own, and she saw the moon as it was when she was the Mare in the Moon.

Luna’s vision lingered on the blackened, charred crater that signalled her arrival, and the melted rock tracing her wandering path out of it. Luna distinctly remembered the blind rage that had defined her first years on the moon. A tall mountain that once stood proudly on the lunar horizon had been reduced to dust with magic unseen in Equestria. A towering monument erected in its place had inscribed upon it, “1001 Plans for Revenge Against She Who I Hate Ever So Much, 3rd ed.”. The actual number of carefully honed plans covering its surface rose well above that.

A number of cellars were dug into the moon’s surface, away from the prying eyes of the sun, the Earth, and the stars. Most had collapsed or were otherwise rendered indistinguishable from an ordinary crater. One, however, remained and still contained some reminder of what had happened in these bunkers; inside was a golden statue of an alicorn, its head broken off and laying to the side. Luna's memories of the moon had become Nightmare's.

The spell withdrew from Luna, and she collapsed to the ground, sobbing. Celestia lay down by her side, taking the weeping princess under her wing in consolation. Only the faintest sliver of the moon was visible on the horizon, as if turned away from its princess.

"I'm sorry, big sister... It seems I'm not yet ready to.." Luna's words trailed off into a quiet whimpering, echoing into the night.

A month had passed since Luna's return at the Summer Sun Celebration. Celestia continued to raise the moon at night, as she had for the past thousand years, and resolved to do so for another thousand if it meant her sister could stay by her side. A small burden, compared to how it weighed on Luna’s shoulders.

Luna for her part was still reintegrating herself into society - as much as a princess can, anyway - meeting and getting to know the varied guards and servants throughout the castle. Her normally nocturnal sleep schedule became erratic as Luna scoured for time to spend with her sister.

This particular day Luna was asleep in Celestia’s room. She heard the door open and rolled over, slowly blinking her eyes open. Realizing the door wasn’t in that direction, she rolled over again to see her sister trotting over to the bookshelf in the room. Luna mumbled, “Good morning, sis.”

“Good afternoon, Luna.” Celestia paused, still examining the bookshelf. One of the books on the shelf slid itself out, opening itself to Celestia briefly before returning to the shelf. “You know, the bed in your own room is perfectly serviceable, and I wouldn’t be interrupting you there.” Luna nestled deeper into the bed in protest.

Celestia walked over to the side of the bed and nuzzled her sister, “You know, rather than lounging about the castle day and night, you could help out with my royal duties. We are meant to rule together, remember?” Luna’s ear twitched at the reminder; her sister had not brought up the subject since the night Luna had tried to raise the moon.

“Ugh, I don’t know why you work so hard.” Luna rolled out of the bed and yawned, “I mean, I know you don’t care for all this... this... STUFF. Servants and maids and a whole class of suck-ups looking for royal handouts. You know what I think?” Luna wrapped one of her front legs around Celestia’s, “I think we should run away together. Just you and me. Find a nice tall mountain, with really steep cliffs, where just the two of us could be together. The gods living on Mount Olymp- what are you laughing at?!” Luna jumped away from her sister, who simply could not contain her laughter.

After a while, Celestia was composed enough to speak again, “Oh, Luna. I tried that already, after...” I banished you, “...you left. And now, Canterlot is the capital city.” She brought a hoof up to wipe away a tear before resuming her giggling.

Luna digested this information. Arriving at its logical conclusion, she contorted her face and stomped her front hooves, “What pony was stupid enough to build a castle into the cliff side of a mountain!?”

Celestia rested her chin on her little sister’s head, simultaneously calming and annoying Luna, “A stubborn earth pony who insisted his princess have a roof over her head. Everypony called him Rock, but I knew him as Press Lee. They may be silly ponies sometimes, but they’re our silly ponies.” Lifting her head off of Luna’s, Celestia started heading for the doorway, “I’m meeting some petitioners for the rest of the afternoon. Would you care to join me?”

Wait, how did I get roped into this?

Luna examined the walls of the room for what must have been the fiftieth time. Renovations of the throne room to accommodate both princesses had begun, and so business was conducted in an open meeting hall away from the construction work. Portraits and landscapes lined the walls, the domed roof above painted with blue sky and white clouds.

Two guards stood at the sides of the room, while a herald and attendant stood at the back of the room, near the main entrance. The guards seemed trained explicitly to have all the personality drained out of them while on duty. It brought to mind tales of gargoyles, otherwise decorative statues that awoke to protect their charge. Luna briefly envisioned replacing much of the royal guard with statues, and imagined very little would change as a result.

The parade of ponies was endless, and continued on even after Celestia had set the sun and raised the moon. Open court meant that just about anypony could trot in and have the princesses' ears, no matter how stupid or petty their problems were. Some simply sought Celestia's sympathetic ear and advice. Luna for her part partook little in these conversations, save for a few prodding questions or meager observations. A few brave parents brought their foals with them, a delight to both princesses each time it happened, in spite of the parents’ concerns over their children’s behavior.

“So what’s the moon like, Princess Luna?”

Luna stopped suddenly, and looked at the young colt she had been playing with. He had inquisitive eyes that seemed to drink up every detail, a bright spark of hope and curiosity within. Luna’s mind boggled at the question; the moon had been the source of all her hopes, dreams, and eventually Nightmares. How do you summarize Equestria’s millennia, the history of the moon?

His eyes look into hers, and seeing some fraction of her sadness, the colt suddenly looked away. He started to apologize, and she saw that spark seem to fade away. No, wait...

“Cheese.”

The word escaped Luna’s mouth so quickly she wasn’t sure it was hers. In fact, she was quite sure it wasn’t hers, even though that’s where the sound came from. She snuck a look at her sister. The colt looked up, confused.

Luna straightened herself, and repeated the lie, “The moon is made of cheese, like a giant cheese wheel.”

“Really?” The colt still held that spark, faintly, behind the doubt in his eyes. It gave Luna hope, but it would need fanning if it was to grow back.

“Really. Most of it’s provolone, but if you take a piece and hold it up to the light of the sun,” Luna raised a hoof up to the light of the candelabra above, “It turns into cheddar. To get Swiss, you take a straw and you blow bubbles into it.”

“That ain’t true... Mozzie said cheese is made of milk!”

“Oh yes, and there are entire seas of milk on the moon. If you wanted you could swim in it, or lay on the beaches of grated parmesan and bask in the sun. You can also watch the beautiful Earth in the night sky.”

“I.. I dunno..”

“Why, what do you think I ate while I was up there?” Something clicked in the colt’s head, and all doubt vanished from his eyes.

Once he and his parents left, Luna resumed giving her sister a look, “I’ll get you for that.”

Celestia snickered, “If you didn’t like my answer, you should think of a better one for the next foal who asks.”

The next morning, two guards stood as impassively as ever, outside Celestia’s chambers. Luna had tested their emotionless masks at this late/early hour by parading a variety of materials in and out of the sun princess’s room, including (but not limited to): A star-tipped wand, a jar of liquid rainbow, a bag of clover leaves, Philomena, an unmarked record, and a cup of baking soda. Luna disappeared into the room one last time, closing the door behind her.

“WAKE UP, SLEEPYHEAD!” Luna’s shrill voice echoed out into the halls.

The sounds coming from Celestia’s room following Luna’s wakeup call were no less strange: A wooden thunk, a tortured squawk, a loud, low humming noise, quickly rising in pitch culminating in the castle rumbling slightly. The two guards stood shock still. One of the double doors opened slightly, and Luna poked her head out the opening. Looking from one guard to another, she spoke quietly, conspiratorially.

“I can smell your fear, you know.”

Luna’s head vanished from view, the door closing loudly.

An hour of silence later, the two princesses emerged, laughing merrily. Celestia had bits of clover in her mane and tail, while Luna was sopping wet. Luna waited until she was out in the hall to shake herself dry, causing another round of giggling. Just as the two were about to round a corner down the hall, Luna snuck one look back at the guards. One had allowed himself to crack a small smile, while the other seemed to be shaking trying to contain himself. Victorious, Luna trotted alongside her sister with intense pride.

This did not go unnoticed by Celestia, “Luna, you seem quite pleased with yourself this morning. Did setting off an alchemical experiment in my room humor you so much?”

“I finally understand.” There was a gleam in Luna’s eye that her sister didn’t recognize, “You like a challenge.”

Celestia stopped when the two came into view of the door to Luna’s chambers. She saw two statues that had not been there before. Their forms were equine but not quite pony. Thick, exaggerated muscles seemed to cover their grey bodies, with particular emphasis on their flanks and shoulders. One batlike wing from each of the statues was unfurled, blocking the doorway, the other at rest. As Celestia approached, the two gargoyles lowered their wings.

Luna trotted over, beaming with pride, “You like them? I carved them last night. The castle needs more laughter and smiling faces.” One statue was baring a fanged grin, the other sticking his tongue out. Neither had mane nor tail.

Celestia regarded the statues; a certain pink earth pony would have found them hilarious, but that wasn’t a good standard to use. They were, however, very well made. “I never knew you had a talent for sculpture.”

Luna rubbed a hoof on the back of her head, “I, uh, had a lot of practice. Minions don’t just make themselves, you know.”

Celestia said nothing. She peered into the one statue’s open mouth, noting even the back of its throat was well-detailed. She felt a pit in her own stomach start to develop, admiring the gargoyle’s fine details, “Speaking of minions, I seem to recall there were two guards posted here?”

“Well, you won’t be needing them anymore.” Luna stated matter-of-factly.

Celestia stopped and stared at Luna, who was quite confused by her older sister’s reaction. After a moment, realization hit the younger sister, and she backpedalled, “Oh, I’m so sorry, that came out wrong. What I mean to say is, I told them they wouldn’t need to guard my room anymore. They were kind of creeping me out, actually.”

Celestia exhaled. “Luna, dear sister, I love you so, but I worry about you sometimes.” Luna mumbled an apology, and the two sisters trotted off to raise the sun and get some breakfast.

When Luna failed to meet her sister at lunch, Celestia was not worried. Her younger sister did still sleep during the day sometimes, so lunch was typically missed in favor of breakfast and dinner, which were nearer the dawn and dusk.

When Luna did not arrive at dinner, Celestia was curious but said nothing. Dinner at the royal palace was more often than not a stately affair with whatever very important ponies happened to have business with the Princess that day. Luna frequently expressed her disdain for these events, so her absence was no surprise.

When Luna was not present at the eastern balcony, now ten minutes from the scheduled moonrise, Celestia very nearly panicked, but the only concern she allowed to be visible was a polite inquiry to the nearest guard, who vanished off into the castle as though his very existence depended on it. Nine minutes later, he returned to report that Luna would not be joining her this evening.

“What is she doing?” that could possibly be so important to keep her from joining me for the moonrise?

“Playing chess in the library, Your Highness.”

“I see.” Celestia returned her attention to the sky only enough to raise the moon, then immediately set out to find her.

As promised, Luna was found in some disused corner of the library, sitting on a cushion at a low table, brows furrowed in concentration. Across the chess board was a grey pegasus mare, clothed in a purple and black flight suit with a winged skull insignia. The pegasus was the first to spot Celestia’s approach, and immediately vanished in a puff of smoke, as if embarrassed to be seen. It wasn’t until the smoke rejoined with Luna at her hooves that the younger princess startled out of her reverie.

Celestia settled into the recently vacated spot across form her sister, “Rather than play against your own shadow, you should take the opportunity to seek others out.” Luna frowned, but said nothing as she reset the board in a swirl of magic, herself as black and Celestia as white.

Celestia moved her king’s pawn forward two spaces.

“What.” Luna stared at the insolent pawn for several minutes. She glanced up at her sister, who was smiling. She always smiled, and Luna had forgotten most of the minute deviations that differentiated her various smiles, but the twinkle in Celestia’s eyes told Luna a prank was in mid-swing. Undeterred, she slid her king’s knight’s pawn forward one space, as they should move.

A second pawn joined Celestia’s first in the center of the board. Knights and bishops soon followed. Despite losing position to Celestia’s audacious pawns, Luna was preparing an attack on the white king, whom Celestia had left underprotected.

Celestia picked up two pieces at once, sliding her king over two spaces and her rook took a spot on the other side of the king.

Luna’s jaw hit the floor. A minute later, her face twisted into a sneer of such caliber Nightmare Moon could only dream of. Several long minutes later, she settled into a more neutral expression, admiring the nice little castle Celestia had put her king in, protected by pawns in the front and the rook to the side. It turned into a frown when she saw her own pieces, now badly out of position to either threaten the king or make gains against the rest of the white army. She finally let out a long sigh.

“Excuse me a minute, would you sister?” Luna didn’t wait for a response as she got up and walked down through the aisles of books. Celestia saw one book slide itself off a shelf to Luna’s side as she trotted out of sight. Several minutes later, Luna returned, her mane slightly more frazzled than before, and the sneer had not quite left her face. She sat back down with a snort, and slid her own knight to take a pawn, but instead of simply picking up the captured piece, the knight turned around and bucked the pawn, sending it flying in a high arc to the side of the table with the other captured pieces. Only then did a grim smile return to Luna’s face.

Minutes later, several white spaces on the board had been charred black, Celestia’s queen was wearing a leather saddle with several notches on her belt, the captured pieces had all been executed in increasingly elaborate ways, and Luna was idly chewing on a white knight like it was a piece of bubblegum. It screamed in agony as she did so, and was only silenced when she blew a bubble, which Celestia promptly popped with a summoned needle, putting the knight out of its misery. Both princesses giggled.

A royal guard approached the two sisters, and to his credit he was only slightly unnerved by the sight of Princess Celestia constructing a tiny magical guillotine, humming a funeral march. “Princesses, a report from the royal observatory, there’s an odd spectacle visible on the moon’s surface.”

“I know.” Luna’s response was immediate. Celestia raised an eyebrow as Luna continued, “A thousand years of chess theory, gone up in smoke, because pawns can move two spaces forward now.” Her bishop glowed, and a white pawn helpfully burst into flame to illustrate. Apparently satisfied with that answer, the guard bowed and backed away quickly. The bishop slid to displace the pile of ashes that had once been a pawn.

Luna watched the guard retreat, then sighed, “You know, it was probably the sanest thing I did up there. Playing my own shadow. Or maybe I was the shadow, playing my real self? I’m not sure anymore.” She reached out a hoof and deliberately tipped her own king, conceding the game. “My opening book was about as long as my list of plans for revenge. Now they’re both equally useless.”

“Now, now, I wouldn’t say that.” Celestia smiled, attempting to lighten her sister’s mood, “There’s always time for a good revenge plan. I was particularly impressed with the way you minced my rook.” She indicated a small pile of white cubes that had been swept off to the side of the board. “Didn’t know it had happened until you knocked the knight into him.”

Luna’s tone grew solemn, ignoring Celestia’s efforts, “No, after coming back to my senses it became obvious just how poorly thought-out those stupid plans were. You saw my Plan A: Take you out of the picture, then gloat, secure in my victory. Plans B through whatever were all either variations of that, or contingency plans in case it failed. A real revenge plan would have done it your way, and taken over the sun, too.” Celestia frowned but said nothing. Luna vanished all the pieces, remains, scars, and torture devices from the board. A hole of inky black darkness appeared on the board, and out of it climbed a diminutive figure.

“Nightmare Moon, ha.” The black pony strutted around the board as Luna spoke, “What an arrogant title I gave myself, thinking that I and the moon were one and the same. I even wrapped myself in the night sky to bring it with me wherever I went.” The black pony’s starry mane and tail billowed in some unseen breeze. “It’s so strange. Everything that’s happened was because I was obsessed with the moon and the night sky. Now that I don’t have them anymore... I’m not sure I want them back.” Nightmare Moon discarded her armor, shrinking in size as she did so. The tiny figure of Princess Luna flared her wings and took off into the stacks of books, leaving the chessboard behind.

A long time passed before Celestia spoke, “I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to do. But then, what do you want to do?”

Luna said nothing, staring off into the distance. It was a poor habit that her solitude on the moon had only exaggerated. Celestia tried not to tease her too much about it, but that blank stare always made the Celestia want to start drawing on her sister’s face.

Celestia was just about to get a painter’s palette and brush when the focus returned to Luna’s eyes. She spotted Celestia’s expectant look, then Luna shook her head, as though to clear her mind. When her thousand-yard stare returned, Celestia inquired, “False alarm?”

“It’s such a silly thing to ask, when I can’t even do my own job right. But...” Luna looked down at the floor, then up at her sister, “I would like to try raising the sun in the morning.”

Celestia just smiled.

The two sisters met again on the eastern balcony. The morning twilight gave the sky a reddish tint, but the sun was not yet coaxed from below the horizon. The moon’s presence in the west could only just barely be felt by the younger princess, as the elder put it to rest. When the moon had completed its night’s journey, Celestia asked, “Is there anything else? I can scarcely recall the last time we had done something like this.”

“Um. Sis? What’s with the bucket?” Luna indicated a large basin, nearly the size of a small bathtub, that had been put out on the balcony, filled with water.

“Nothing you need to worry about.” Celestia had her eyes closed, still basking in the nostalgia of previous millennia as she spoke.

“Okay, well, here I go.” Luna began to cast. She let the magic wash over her; it was warm and nostalgic, like an old friend. She felt a lick of heat on her face, playful and inquisitive.

“I know, it’s not who you were expecting,” Luna found herself saying, “But I wanted to apologize, and this seemed the best way to do it.” The warmth responded to her words, dancing across her body, tickling her, “Haha, oh, stop! Stop! Hahaha!” The heat receded, allowing the princess to speak once again, “That warmth and beauty... I was so jealous. But now I think I can appreciate you for what you are.” Luna opened her eyes, and looked up. The sun had crested the horizon, shining down on Princess Luna. She turned to Celestia, who was positively beaming.

Luna ran over to hug her sister, but her snout met Celestia’s forehoof before she could proceed, “Before you do, I should tell you,” Celestia began, “That you’re on fire.”

Luna cast her eyes up. She could see wisps of flames dancing across the front of her mane. She looked back. Her tail was a fiery inferno streaming out behind her, the feathers on her wings each held a tiny flame at their tips. Her hooves glowed, igniting her fetlocks as she walked, leaving tiny flames on the ground wherever she went.

“Oh, like that matters.” Luna launched herself at Celestia, and neither sister paid the flames any mind as they embraced.

Celestia spoke when they separated, “You know, there’s one more you should apologize to.”

Luna jumped into the tub, dousing herself, “I know. And I will, because I want to fill the moon with the happiest of memories, for being there for me when I was at my worst.” A pause. “I also need to apologize for blowing up the chessboard that was there.”

Celestia nuzzled her sister, and the two stared off into the sunrise.