The Musings of a Winning Guardpony
Ponies sometimes ask me why I joined the Guard. If I want to be some kind of hero, or if it’s just because of my clan. I always told them that it was because I decided that serving the Guard was the best way that I could contribute to—
“Head’s up!”
I ducked my head as the projectile grazed past my buzzcut mane, though crumbs did scatter across my bunk. I shot an annoyed glare at Swift as he caught the loaf of stale bread. “Private Kicker, I overlooked you taking an entire loaf of bread from the mess hall. It might be easier for me to continue overlooking it if you don’t smack me in the face with it.”
Swift rolled his eyes and saluted with the bread. “Roger that, Sergeant Kicker, sir.” He promptly lobbed it back across my bunk, and the game returned full, raucous swing.
I rolled my eyes and shook the crumbs off my pillow as pegasi leapt and dove throughout the barracks hall. Ostensibly, we had already passed lights out, but with our upcoming deployment the following morning, the unit was more than a little wound up.
“Can’t believe we’re already being deployed to the southern border,” Bright Skies, my squad’s specialist, crowed as she expertly spun between two bunks to catch the loaf. “Looking forward to kicking some mutts’ butts!” She snickered at her own joke as she flew down the hall, dodging two stallions from Beta Section and smacking the loaf to the circle marked on the floor. “Now that’s how it’s done!”
“That’s it, I’m done. I don’t think anypony’s gonna catch her,” Swift grumbled as he trotted to his bunk.
“Maybe if you beg just right, I’ll let you,” Bright replied teasingly as she walked by, swatting him with her tail as she flapped up to her bunk. “So, what do you think we’ll get to do first, Rain?”
“I think you’ll have to learn to start calling me ‘sir,’ Specialist,” I answered with a snort. “We’re past the point where our commanding officers are going to only give us twenty laps for it.”
She pouted and rolled over. “Oh, fine then, be that way.” Her breathing started to settled out, as if she was dozing off, but I didn’t buy it for a second. Her wings kept quivering slightly, and I could see her ear twitch at every sound in the room. I rolled my eyes and settled down, trying once again to get comfortable and sleep.
“So Rain, how tall do dragons get? I heard from a graduate that they get taller than some of the skyscrapers in Manehatten.”
“For feather’s sake, Bright, just wait until we get down—”
“Officer on deck!” somepony bellowed, cutting across our minor squabble. I turned my head to berate the offender when I spotted the pony standing in the doorway. Everypony in the room knew who they were, and that their presence here was decidedly not a good thing.
I admit, despite spending twelve weeks being shouted at by drill instructors, woken at all hours of the night, and forced into the most terrifying situations magic can conjure up, that I had never seen ten simultaneous and completely motionless panic attacks. I suddenly remembered my rank and leaped from the bunk. “Lieutenant Bolt Kicker, my apologies for the state of the barracks, sir! The unit was just-”
“Save it, Sergeant,” the Lieutenant replied. I noticed right away that something wasn’t right. Even with the armor’s enchantment, he looked ... harried. And when the LT is harried, everypony knows to take cover. Because as everypony learns in Basic: horseapples only roll downhill. “Get your unit together ASAP, muster on the landing strip in ten minutes. Standard kit, full plate.”
I saluted smartly. “Sir, yes sir.” As the LT turned and trotted out, I turned to the rest of the unit. “Alright, you heard him, get your flanks out of bed! Go go go, you know the drill!” As ponies started to fall in, I trotted to my armor stand and started to throw my own armor on, shivering as the enchantment spread over my coat. It wouldn’t pass an inspection, but would do for right now. What bothered me more was we weren’t a proper squad until we were assigned a new sergeant. “Everypony ready?”
“Sir, yes sir!” the squad shouted back, now near perfect copies of each other. Together, we marched out double time, crossing the parade ground to the landing field. In the fading light we could see five chariots, another squad approaching from the unicorn barracks.
As they got closer, I recognized the lead pony by their build and badge on their armor. “They drag you out for this too, Star—ma’am?”
Star Kicker shrugged. “You know how it goes, Rain. Figure the higher ups decided to make my Cadet Officer exam a field test.” She glanced around as everypony assumed their formation. “Listen up. Our orders are simple: we’re being deployed on temporary attachment to Machwing Company in the east, to assist them in search and rescue operations.”
I raised a hoof. “Search and Rescue, ma’am? Wasn’t Machwing Company deployed to help with border security?”
Star nodded. “They were. But the situation has changed. Their, and by extension our, current priority is the location and safe return of their commanding officer, Nimbus Gust.”
I stared, completely dumbstruck. “What?”
The sun was almost below the horizon as the wind howled past, my wings starting to burn as we approached the designated rendezvous. I’d spent most of the day-and-a-half-long flight trying to think of the times I’d seen Nimbus Gust, how she looked, how she sounded, anything that’d help identify her. The only time I could think of with any degree of reliability had been when I’d gone with the bulk of the Clan to see the graduating class of West Hoof, including Gust’s own daughter, Cloud Kicker.
And then Cloud Kicker had never shown up.
It had been the talk of the clanhold for almost an entire month. It had taken Nimbus's co-workers by surprise when she simply returned to duty the next day. Though those close to her did say she was colder than before. Not surprising given how her daughter had become a disappointment to the entire clan. Eventually, the clan gossips ran out of information to spread and the whole affair had died out.
I’d never met Cloud Kicker myself, though her up and deserting on graduation day had pretty much ruined any chance of me respecting her. I mean, sure, even among the Kickers there was the occasional grunt like me who couldn’t hack it and wound up dropping out, but Cloud Kicker had practically graduated from West Hoof with her lieutenant’s commission. Compared to how me and the other rank and file had it, she’d have breezed her way to command—maybe even her own company.
“Sergeant, two o’clock low.” I glanced down at Star Kicker’s call and spotted a pair of pegasi ascending from what could only be Machwing’s staging area. They looked noticeably wary, and again I wondered just what in the world was going on.
“Halt! State your rank and authorization codes!” The lead pegasus shouted, his partner leveling into a strike position.
That, more than anything, got my attention. Officially, all Guard units were supposed to check the identification of any approaching individuals, but it wasn’t really enforced for fellow guards. Something was definitely wrong here.
“Cadet Second Lieutenant Star Kicker, reporting with relief elements for the search. My authorization is Violet,” Star replied firmly. “Now give me the counter-response.”
The two guards glanced at each other, and after a quick whisper, nodded. “Our countercode is Flash.” They formed up on our wings, and together we flew down toward the camp’s landing area. Machwing Company's second-in-command, judging by his rank insignia, was waiting for us when we got to the camp proper.
While we unhitched the harnesses, Star climbed out and saluted. “Sir, Cadet Second Lieutenant Star Kicker and squads reporting for duty.”
He returned her salute tiredly. “I don’t know what you’ve been told, so here’s the short version,” he said with a sigh. “The Major’s gone missing. We’re still figuring out why, but we’ve got patrols combing the entire area looking for her. I want your unicorns ready to move out to support the search teams in the southern sectors—there’re too many caves for our unicorns to cover. Since you came from Canterlot, your pegasi are going to bunk up in Epsilon Squad’s tent for now. They’ll be back at dawn, and you’ll take their next patrol route.” He turned to face me. “Your unit’s designation is Epsilon-Beta until search operations are concluded. Understood?”
“Yes sir.” I saluted as he turned away, and called the squad in around me. “Okay, our job for now is to rest up. We relieve Epsilon Squad when they come back, so I want you all to get plenty of sleep—no goofing off.”
Everypony nodded, expressions serious. I counted the small blessing as even Bright seemed uncharacteristically somber, and as one the squad marched toward the barrack tents.
“Well, looks like I get to dig right in,” Star muttered as she gestured her unicorns to gather round.
I chuckled. “An officer doing work? What new spawn of madness is this?”
Star grinned. “I'm still a cadet. They haven't taught me how to be a useless bum who delegates everything to the sergeant yet.”
I rolled my eyes. “Least I get a nice bunk instead of jumping from a long flight into the thick of it.” I bumped shoulders with her as I started to follow my squad. “Stay safe out there, Lieutenant.”
“You too, Sergeant,” Star replied with a small smile.
There were times that I was glad that I’d chosen to serve. It wasn’t even just getting to wear the armor, or have other ponies look at you with respect. It was that I knew the work I was doing would make a difference to hundreds, if not thousands of ponies across Equestria.
This was not one of those times.
“Come on, Bright! That’s feathering enough!” I shouted as I ducked under a stray hoof, Bright still spitting insults as Swift and I dragged her from the pony she’d been about to go to blows with. Two ponies from his unit were doing the same, while their sergeant bellowed for them to go cool off.
“Did you hear what that piece of rotten horseapple said about us?” Bright shouted as I shoved her towards our tent. “Not pulling our weight my flank! Just give me five minutes with him, Rain!”
“Go fly it off if you have to, but I better not hear about you trying to get a sneak shot in!” I shouted after her. “Swift, tag along with her, make sure she doesn’t do anything else stupid.”
“Yes sir,” Swift replied as he galloped after Bright.
I took a deep breath, trying to calm back down. It didn’t help that I was just as frustrated as anypony else. It’d been three days since we arrived, and things were getting pretty bad. It was to be expected though, no unit can be expected to keep their morale without their leader—especially with how Major Gust had simply vanished while on a short personal flight. I was about to follow after Swift and Bright when I heard hoofsteps, and spotted Star approaching, exasperation plain on her face.
“So, what in the world happened here?” Star asked.
“Another scuffle. Apparently, the other pony claimed our unit isn’t pulling its weight in the search.”
“I see.” Her eyes were understanding, but her mouth less so. “I’m afraid we can’t overlook this, Rain. We’ve had incidents like this all over camp, and they have to stop.”
I nodded. “I’ll discipline Bright tonight. Thank you for bringing it to my attention, ma’am.”
“Oh, and I heard something else...” she leaned in close. “Just between us, Kicker-to-Kicker, but I heard Cloud’s coming out to join in the effort.”
“Wait, what? When did she get recommissioned?” I asked incredulously “Can they even recommission you after you desert?”
“Well, I got a letter from my mom. It seems that she corralled the Element of Loyalty and another pony into coming along for the ride. And no, she’s not recommissioned.” Star’s lack of concern was really worrisome.
“So, we’ve got Cloud Kicker, who just up and ditched the clan, and an Element of Harmony, just running around the woods?” I tried my best to keep my voice to just an enraged whisper. I don’t think I succeeded, given how many ponies looked our way. “We need to send out a patrol to find them and bring them in!”
Star rolled her eyes. “Oh no, where in Equestria will we find a unicorn guard talented in tracking spells, who also happens to have a mother who planted tracker gems on our erstwhile clan member’s armor?” She snorted. “And look, Rain. I know what a lot of ponies in the clanhold say about Cloud Kicker, but she’s a good pony. Yeah, she made a mistake, and a pretty big one, but...” She trailed off and let out a frustrated little sigh. “Look, just give her a fair chance, okay? That’s her mom missing out there.”
Alright, I deserved that. I glanced down at the ground, feeling like a complete jerk. If it’d been one of my dads out there and I’d been in Cloud Kicker’s position, I’d probably have done the same thing. “Sorry, Star. But we do need to find them.”
“And I will. I’m taking a combined unit out in a few minutes to bring them in.” She pointed toward the landing pad where a number of unicorns and pegasi were already assembled, then put a hoof on my shoulder. “Relax, alright? I know it’s tough, but we’ll work this out. Who knows? Maybe Cloud Kicker’ll wind up having valuable intel that’ll point us in the right direction to find Major Gust.”
We both stared at each other before we broke down and started laughing. I shook my head and started toward the barracks. “Alright then, I’ll see you in the morning. Good hunting.”
I heard Star snort in amusement, and then her hooves as she headed for the landing pad.
They teach you in Basic that a Guardpony should always be awake half an hour before sunrise, if not sooner. Therefore, being woken up by what sounded like the entire camp going to war well ahead of that time was less than pleasant.
“Come on you foals, nap time’s over!” Somepony bellowed into our tent. “Assemble at Pad Three for orders!”
With a chorus of groans we rolled out of our bunks, threw on our armor, and galloped half-asleep to the landing pad. There were four other squads already waiting for us, and an impatient-looking lieutenant nodded once we were in position.
“Glad to see you decided to join us, Epsilon-Beta. Alright, orders are simple: Cloud Kicker and the Element of Loyalty evaded our retrieval team, so we’re mobilizing to recover them and continue to search for the Major. However, in light of the Element Bearer’s disappearance, locating Major Gust is now a secondary objective.” He paused, giving everypony present a look, and I could practically feel their annoyance at being called off the search. “Our last report had them moving northeast, so we’ll move out from the camp and begin a wide-pattern sweep. Fan out from the positions you’re in now, each squad gets a sector to themselves. Now get moving, and don’t come back until you find them.”
“Sir, yes sir!” we shouted, and sprang into the air. As we angled toward the northeast, we began to drift apart, eyes locked onto the forest below. As we searched, every possible hiding spot was inspected and cleared, the squads gradually losing sight of each other as our search area increased.
Eventually, it was just my squad, and as the hours wore on, boredom began setting back in. The sun shone down brightly, but also drove away the comfortable cool of the predawn hours.
“Rain, this isn’t going to work,” Bright groused. “We’ve only got a general direction, and there’s hundreds of places they could hide in down there.”
“Well, we’re just going to have to keep going, Bright,” I replied, pointing with a hoof towards a dense grove of trees. “Let’s check there, and if we can’t find them, then we’ll rest for a bit.”
Almost as soon as we landed, it was clear that they weren’t there. The treetops had covered it from the sky, but no such cover existed at the ground level.
“Well, at least there’s shade,” Swift said as he and the squad moved forward.
As I started to follow them I felt my skin tingle, and my wings flared instinctively, almost being pulled to the right. I recognized the sensation as one of the standard-issue call stones, given as a means of summoning the closest Guard units for aid. It didn’t have the best range, but if you needed help and fast, it was a guard’s best friend. From the looks the squad was giving me, they could feel it too.
“Break’s over! Let’s go!” We leapt skyward again, no longer weaving a search pattern. We fell into a standard attack formation, and arrowed toward the source of the pull. It became almost insistent as we approached a nondescript cave set into the hillside, and we spiraled down to land at the entrance.
Inside, we found a rainbow-maned pegasus covered in what appeared to be some kind of green slime. She was in the middle of trying to help bandage a pegasus wearing the blood-red armor of the Kicker clan. I realized that this had to be Cloud Kicker, but her appearance was nothing like I’d expected it to be. The way she carried herself, the look in her eyes as she glanced at us, was the spitting image of any veteran Guard. But more than that, she just looked ... drained. Like somepony had run her through the gauntlet and she was just running on fumes.
“Tend to her leg, Swift. We’ll get a medic back at camp to give it a more thorough look. The rest of you, secure the area.” The squad nodded and fanned out, while I trotted to the motionless body lying on the cavern floor. “Just what in the name of the Sun is this?” I muttered, taking in the almost insectoid carapace, the green ichor leaking from its wounds, and the diaphanous wings a short distance away. I leaned in closer, but almost gagged at the stench. “Well, the eggheads can take a better look at this thing.”
“Sir!” Bright called from the rear of the cave, and I could instantly tell that something was wrong. I trotted over, my frown growing as I saw what they’d discovered. Aunt Nimb—no. I couldn’t afford to think about her like that right then; Major Gust was dead.
Training was the only thing keeping me detached as I quietly prayed that the end had been fast. Her fetlocks had been chafed almost to the bone from thick, solid manacles hammered into the cave wall, and small bumps in the s-bends in her wings indicated that they’d been broken and left to knit without being set. The sheer volume of bruises on her face and forelegs seemed defensive—she’d probably gone down fighting, or at least offered as much of a fight as a pony in her condition could. I moved past the clearly-visible ribs to put a hoof to her neck, futilely checking for a pulse. From the sheer size of the blood pool beneath her head, I knew it was a lost cause. I felt a small, strange gap and turned her head to reveal a jagged hole.
Whatever had killed her had ripped part of her throat out. Thinking back to it, Cloud was lucky to have her leg.
I took a few ragged breaths through my nose, feeling my gorge rise in my throat. Unfortunately, the smell was just too much and I had to turn away, moving as far as I could before I lost it and vomited. I felt somepony pat my back firmly as another stinging wave came up, then a third. Finally, it felt like nothing was left inside me, and with a few dry heaves I managed to get myself under control.
“You okay, sir?” Bright asked worriedly, though she sounded just as sick as I felt.
“Y-yeah... thank you, Specialist.” I turned and made my back to Cloud Kicker, who was testing her bandaged hoof. “Ma’am?” I hesitated, then decided that given what I was about to tell her, I’d address her by the rank she deserved. “You’re Lieutenant Cloud Kicker, the Major’s daughter, right?”
She looked at me, eyes questioning at first, but she took note of my demeanor and grew apprehensive. “Yeah.” She took a breath, and asked with a slight quiver, “Why?”
I wanted to be able to tell her anything instead of what I had to. But if nothing else, she deserved the truth. “There’s ... something you need to see.”
She swallowed hard, and nodded. I led her towards the rear of the cave, the Element of Loyalty accompanying Cloud Kicker and providing a supporting wing, despite the green goo covering it. I stopped a short distance away, allowing her to approach the body. “I’ll give you some time alone. I’m so sorry, ma’am. The Major was...” I trailed off, unsure of what else to say. What else I could say? I just moved back, motioning for the squad to do the same.
“Sir, we’ll secure the enemy’s remains, get it ready for transport,” Bright said quietly. “Just let us know when we need to move the Major, okay?”
I nodded wordlessly, just watching as Cloud Kicker hunched over, tears spilling to the cavern floor as she wept.
Maybe I'd been wrong about her: I guess you can take the Kicker out of the clan, but you can never truly take the clan out of the Kicker.
