My name is Buddy

Do I like dick...What the hell kind of question is that? I don't, but I'm giving the wrong impression by just standing here, dumb founded at such an odd placed question. What do I say to something like that? Is this just going to be a kiddish joke or something? Whatever...What's the worst she can do.

"No, I don't." So blandly put with a monotone voice, I didn't know I could bring myself to that low of complexion.

"Yeah?" she replies, lowering one eye as she tilts her head to the side. "Me neither." She nearly finishes off her second mug with a sigh in the afterglow.

Alright...So she's either trying to tell me she's gay, or...Just being dumb. Maybe both, but it doesn't matter. Just a kid's humor, way different from mine. "What's that supposed to mean?" I mimic her voice like she asked me a minute ago.

Without skipping a beat, "Means I like pussy, dude." she coyly reveals before sliding one of the cups over to me. I take it in my hand, and ponder for a moment. This girl just doesn't care about anything, or...Really doesn't care about anything. Sometimes I wish I could be like that.

"I see...Don't know what it adds to though. Beer?"  I ask, grabbing the handle of the cup. A loud, boyish belch later and I take it as a yes. I turn around, fill it up in no time, and hand it back to her. Didn't even clean it out, no matter how horridly I wanted to...There's just so any germs everywhere and...Well, it's gross.

"Thanks...err..." She takes the mug with an eyebrow raised, assuming I' just going to blurt my name. I kind of like my nick, it's catchy. She sure as hell isn't going to know it's Buddy, she is definitely the antagonizing type.

"Mr. B." I inform her with a nod/smile.

She shakes her head and takes a sip this time from her refill. "Mr. B? You sound like an English teacher." I think she purposely said that with her mouth in the cup so it sounded muffled. I've never heard of being called an English teacher as an insult, so I'm not sure how to take it...

"You're too kind." I say with a hint of sarcasm. Is she the type of pony who likes sarcasm, or hates it?

"Yeah, sure. Look, when does this place close, it's like..." She glances at the clock. "3 in the morning."

Alright, now I know she's seeing blurs. because that says 1:20. I won't correct her though and just shrug. "When customers stop coming in." I say with a grin. That isn't true in the slightest, it never closes.

She raises both eyebrows and points a hoof up like she realized something. "Ooooh...So, suddenly it's all about the consumer?"

She surprisingly has a way with words...Not any words, but just...Yeah. I, being the good natured pony I am, just put my hooves at my side and nod. "I like to keep ponies happy." That's true, I do like it when people are happy. Just gives a better vibe to the environment. Like with Vinyl and her ex. They might not get back together, but they can be close friends and it just gives off a good energy flow. That's what I believe in.

"What are you? God?" She leans her head forward, scanning my face.

Oh boy...I' no god, far from it. "Just your average colt."

She shrugs and leans back in her stool, hooves behind her head and watches the two musicians on the stadium. I glance over too, and pleased to see they are playing together. It's a nice site...

"Mr. B?" She asks, much more serious than our last conversation.

I turn my head and lay a hoof on the counter. "Yes ma'am?" I politely ask, absent mindedly searching for my personal cup.

"Do you believe being gay is a crime?" She is still watching the two play.

Now I see...I stop searching and keep my mind focused on her now. "What brought this up?" I'd like to know exactly what did.

Seeing her just look at the two playing across from us gives it away and she stays silent. "Oh..." I take in a breath, swallow my confidence, and think up something. Thinking back to when I was little, my mother was very deep person. Perhaps she is where I get all this skill of talking to ponies, but that's not the point. She was also narrow minded...

"My mom used an old saying a lot...'Birds have no business skipping with stones.' " I stop, letting it sink in for a moment, and she turns to me with a grim face. "And you know what I say...? Fuck my mom." I crack a smile, as she does too. Sorry mom, I love you. It just had to be done.

"Pff...So you think gays are alright?" She asks, taking one hoof from behind her and laying on the table, while her other hands to her side.

I haven't met many in my time, but it's crazy that I've met three in just one night. Or, two, or...Nevermind, I hate math an timelines. Let's just go with three: This mare, Vinyl, and her ex. I don't ind it, but it's not my thing to get into. "It's your life. You want to jump off a bridge because you think you'll see a higher power, it's all yours. I'm not going to give you a push, but...I won't be standing there mourning you when you splat either." That was dark...

"Ha! Alright, funny dude, how about you give me some good old fashioned lectures next time?" She grins widely, rubbing her hoof over the table.

Seems Ponyville likes some dark humor. That's good, I seem to be full of it lately. "I can try, but I don't want you to reveal anything you might regret after that has warn off..." I give a light nod to her near empty cup of low class beer and she shoves a hoof my way, gnawing.

"Relaaaaaaax. I don't get krunk unless it's for some party." She leans over the counter, and quickly gets into what she wants me to help with. Seeing she obviously wants it quiet, I mimic her and lean down.

"I got a friend, m'kay? She uhh...you know, she's a filly fooler. Well, she doesn't think she'll be accepted by her friends if she comes out with it..." She turns her gaze to the wood, giving herself away right then and there. "Got something for that, all knowing-wise one?" She asks with a smug grin.

Yeah...I do. "You're that pony, aren't you?" I ask, getting up from my leaned in position and standing with my hooves crossed in a disappointed manner.

She rolls her eyes and nods mischievously. "Of course I'm a dyke. I have rainbow hair, I like sports, I admitted I like pussy already, come on. Just give me the damn advice so I can go." She crosses her hooves over the table and looks down at their cyan color.

Alright...going into some harsh territory, not so much as thin ice, but on some freaking lava. The fact she is staying and didn't just walk out, or just out right punch me shows she is somewhat desperate and afraid, even if terrible at showing it. Or hiding it for that matter. "They are called 'friends' for a reason. I know that you would only choose the best to label them with that grand title, so you must trust them...Who would they ever, ever think less of you because you choose a mare?" Who would've known...Two times in one night...Morning, whatever, that I would have to give deep, personal advice to some filly fooling...Never thought I would be doing less bar tending and more therapy.

She looks at me with squinted eyes and a slightly ajar-ed mouth. She blinks a couple times, nodding that she understands.

"Do you love her?" Dumb question, but it has be said...

"No shit..." She says nonchalantly as she rubs her hoof over her eyes.

"Do you love your friends?" again..Just have to ask it.

She nods a little more furiously, rolling her eyes now. "Yeees...Come on man." She even looks impatient now. why are all the mares around here so Schizophrenic?

"Then why do you need a random bar tender to tell you to go out and live life to it's fullest with those ponies?" Bam...just the look of realization on her face shows I got it down. Definitely a mood swing, but for the better this time. She isn't crying, but just staring at me, her eyes shifting a little bit as she analyzes everything in a new view.

"You're good, Doctor B..." She admits, rubbing her hooves together. "Thanks man. You are a good pony." She offers her hoof over the table to me, and I take it with a big smile. Another case put in the bag...

"Please, if I may...What is your name?" I tilt my head to the side, trying to be as casual as I can.

She tips her head to the side, rolling her eyes like she just did something incredibly stupid. "Oh! Name's Rainbow Dash! r Dash...Or RD! I like em' all." She grins with her white teeth at me, placing her hooves at her hips.

"Well, my name is Mr. B, Doctor B, and just B." Figured I should give her a giggle before we part, and it works.

She rolls her eyes, a silent chuckle roaming over her. "I think I'll stick with Dr. B. Makes you sound like you actually did something with your life." She winks at me slyly, and I just shrug.

"You give me too much credit. How about a drink, on the house?" She's a nice enough mare. Difficult, but not for me with my new found super nice powers.

She raises an eyebrow, looking at the massacre of the beers she's drank already. " I haven't even paid for those." She admits kindly, shuffling through a little pouch I just now realized she had.

I throw a hoof, shaking my head. "Naah...Just a few bits. We'll be getting some real apple cider tomorrow straight from sweet apple acres tomorrow, so I don't think these three puppies will be missed." I don't see anything wrong with it. If it was some high class wine, it would be different, but this was just some generic, unnamed alcohol.

She smiles widely, bringing her hooves out wide and nodding her head back, gesturing me forward.

Oh boy...Shaking hooves and now a hug. Never thought she'd be this affectionate after some easy going advice. "Alright, alright..." I sigh, leaning forward for a nice, calm hug...then crushing as she squeezes tight, making my back crack loudly. "ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT!" She is seriously gonna kill someone with an iron grip like that, and all she does is laugh a bit, then let go.

"Heh...Not my fault you're like a twig to me." She gives me an evil grin, placing her hooves at her side.

I stretch my back out, putting my hooves on my back as I do. "One more thing..." I leak from y timid voice before she walks away, getting her attention. "Who uhh...Is the lucky are? you know...So I can warn them to avoid a hug." Cracking a joke every now and then is good when you're trying to grab some info...I'm no detective, but I think I'm doing a fine job so far.

She squints one of her eyes, rubbing her hoof under her mouth. "Remember the southern pony that was with me while ago? That one." She looks pretty confident, like I am with talking. guess she doesn't mind talking about her now..."She lives at Sweet Apple Acres, too."

Really...? Now that's interesting. "I see...Should I...Happen to have forgotten we ever had this conversation if she happen to...I don't know, come up to me for a word or two?" I give a one sided smile, leaning my head forward.

She shakes her head quickly, pulling her hooves up. "No..No no. that is completely wrong. She deserves to know absolutely everything about me, no secrets." Her voice is stern as well as her attitude.

That's...Really, really loyal. I don't know love or anything like that, but that's a really good example for showing you are dedicated. "As you wish...Would you be stopping by tomorrow?" Tomorrow...I imagine there will be a lot more ponies coming in tomorrow. I wouldn't be surprised if I don't even see her for a while.

"Yeah! I come here pretty often. Ya know, rather swallow my sorrows then spit them out." She laughs at her own joke, clutching her stomach.

Now that was a horrible joke. Funny, but horrible. I just laugh to myself, and shoo her away. "Go...go go go before you get me talking like a sailor." I did have a swearing problem when I was a little younger...A quick motherly lesson and it was gone, but I often contract personalities fro other people I meet. Someone obnoxious, I get obnoxious. Someone cocky, I get arrogant. Someone with a dark sense of humor, mine gets darker. Just something I do...

"Alrighty then, Cap'n B!" She quickly dusts off out of the bar, gunning away like she had better be.

Well, I think that settles the night for me...About to be 2 in the morning and I' not even used to the schedule yet. But more importantly...This night is certainly one for the books. I met three filly foolers, made two of the as friends, discovered I have really good social skills, obsession with cleaning, and a nack for getting harsh glares. What a night...

I turn around and top my hoof over my head like I would if I had a hat to the two musician girls. Vinyl waves at me excitedly with a big dumb grin and her partner in crime just smiles from across the room. I grab my personal cup that couldn't be any cleaner and place it underneath the table in a small cupboard, and the rag in a bucket of water.

As I'm walking out of the bar, I realize something...that was just the first night...

--

There are some pretty lazy ponies nowadays. I admit sometimes I don't like to get up from the couch to change the channel, but that's something else entirely. Asking your co-worker you never met to take your shift, while still having theirs is a completely irresponsible thing to do. However...It's not his fault if he really is sick. I sure as hell doubt it, but if I was in his situation and needed the same, I guess I can find some comfort in it. Still isn't fair that I had to wake up with just four hours of sleep and get to the bar quick so I can pick up the delivery of Apple cider and have to work a near full 12 hours. Thank god for overtime!

Making my way back into the bar the same way as always, I expect to see my new friend Vinyl and her close pony-friend playing some sharp music, but here I find I'm the only one in the bar. Looking around, it's actually kind of peaceful. It's quiet, kind of spooky since the lights are all out, but I don't mind the dark nearly as much as when I was young. I like it...It's nice. It's usually dimly lit anyways, so this isn't much of a change.

I make some oddly loud tapping sounds with my hooves as I trot my way behind the counter and begin soaping up the cups. It's usual that a bar tender would just do them all at once, tossing the lot into the tub and clean them off with a rag, but that is disgusting. There's a way better chance of some crap to stick on, so I clean each on thoroughly, putting on some soap for each one like an assembly line.

After some time passes, I hear a subtle knock from around the corner. Did I forget to unlock the door...? That's some customer service for ya right there!

Putting down the mugs and making a mad dash for the door, leaping over the counter and turning the corner, I am met with a friendly smile from a familiar orange pony.

"Hiya, mister. got yer apple cider here for ya." Voices the heavily southern accented mare, who I now know a little more about thanks to my friend Rainbow Dash...

"Good morning! You uhh...Need some help there?" Noticing she has a rather large cart of barrels outside, which no doubt house the apple cider, I can't help but offer a hand.

"Oh well that's a'mighty kind of you. You can haul them with Big' Macintosh if ya like." She turns around, walking out the door, talking from behind.

Big Macintosh? I wonder who that could be. Brother, acquaintance. Whoever, it doesn't matter. I make my way outside with a casual, as always upbeat attitude. And then I find out just who Big must be, a giant of a pony if I've ever seen one. He's been carrying the cart since Sweet Apple Acres on his own, so no doubt this colt is nothing to mess with. He doesn't look muscular, but he's tall and looks the part of a southern folk with some what out his mouth.

"Hi there, nice to met ya!" I offer coyly and he nods my way while the orange pony unhooks him. It's nice to see regular earth ponies now that I think about it...There's a lot of Pegasus' and Unicorns in Ponyville, it makes me feel kind of lonely.

"So which one's are we taking?" There's about 4 total in the cart that could probably hold six or more. I know they give out apple cider as a tradition, so how am I supposed to know which ones are for the bar, and for them?

"All of em'!" She answers with a snap as she frees Big. Well that shut me up...

Getting up onto the cart, I look around the top until I find the grip on it. Biting down hard, I begin to drag it off and wow did I underestimate it's weight! This thing must be a hundred pounds! And It's not easy dragging a barrel of apple cider with your mouth that's 100 pounds.

"Heh...Little trouble there, Mr.?" The mare asks as she makes her way beside me.

Oh she has no idea. "Naah..I fink I goooot it..." I mumble while I try to yank it down, and drop off the cart and onto the ground. She just rolls her eyes as Big walks over and just straight up pulls a barrel off and already on the ground. I knew this colt must have been strong, but damn! It's like paper weight to him, I'm like paperweight to him. He drags it along while I follow behind at a much slower pace. the same thing happens again, I struggle, he shows me up until the job is done.

Before Applejack heads back, I stop her for a moment. "Hey uhh...You want a couple free drinks?" Maybe I can get to talk to her and get a different side of the story Dash told me.

She turns her head and shakes, givingb a slightly concerned face. "Sorry, but I got lot's of working to do, no time for relaxin'!"

That's fine, I don't mind a hard worker. But at least..."Can I know your name?"

She looks at me with a surprised face then stutters a bit as she speaks. "Uhh...I-t's Applejack."

Why would she stutter? I know for sure it's not me, I don't have that kind of effect...Guess I'll find out in time. "Nice to meet you. I'm Mr. B." I offer my hoof forward with a friendly smile.

"Likewise, friend." She takes my hoof and we shake for a moment as I take in a subtle, deep breath.

"May I tell you something a bit...Random, Miss Applejack?" This is going to be so obvious, and I really hope Dash won't cut off my head for it...

"Uuh..Ah don't see why not. go ahead." She puts her hooves down and smiles widely with squinted eyes, probably fro the sun beginning to poke to the sky.

"Trust your friends..." That is so obvious Bud, come on...couldn't word it in a cool, hip way like the glass thing?

Applejack looks a bit stunned, raising both her eyebrows and her pupils widen. Shit...

"Relax, Applejack...Your secret is safe. It's up to you to tell them, not me." Good, real close save..whew.

She looks still stunned, but looking to the ground now. No more words are exchanged, just a quiet farewell, and she's off.

"Hmm...that could've gone better..." And now I'm talking to myself, great.

after a couple minutes of taking a breath of fresh air outside, I walk back in the bar, this time leaving the door unlocked. Once I go back in, I realize it's completely dark again...I messed up with the locked door, but I know I turned on the lights, even if it was a little. I trek my way quietly down the room until I'm inches from the open doorway into the main part of the bar, and that's when I hear a distinctive sound of glass breaking.