Trixie Sits On Twilight

by PonyPong

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Original Character, Trixie, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Adventure, Crystal Ponies, Random
Length: 3607

Trixie won't get off Twilight, she'll just have to bring Trixie along on her royal duties.

"Get off of me Trixie."
"Nope."
---
Cover Art by Egophailic
Editing/Proofreading by EchoTheWolf

Now readings by TheaterCritic
Part 1

Published 2013-06-03 01:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-06-10 03:07:00 UTC

Act 1 of 3

Trixie Sits On Twilight: Act 1 of 3

By PonyPong

Being a Princess is a lot of work. I really mean it's a lot of work. You have to collect taxes, file said taxes, listen to the complaints of her subjects all day. At night, you're kept awake by Princess Luna and her consistent video game marathons.

This is the reason why I am sleeping at my desk. Actually, I'm supposed to be writing a lesson about friendship right now, but I cannot do this, because as I said before, being a Princess is hard and there is no time for friendship in this kind of lifestyle. Plus, my friends aren't even nearby. I'm in Canterlot Castle, and they're in Ponyville. That's a whole train ride away.

I slowly rise from my slumber and rub my eyes with my hoof. Beams of light fill the room. This is most likely because my window seems to be... shattered?!

Oh yeah! Did I mention that my name is Twilight Sparkle? Yes, that is definitely important.

"Huh?" I cock my head confusingly at the sight. There are barely any Pegasi in Canterlot, and there is no reason for any Alicorn to smash my bedroom window.

I stand up from the throw pillow that I had sat on last night. My wings feel cramped, so I have stretch them out.

Wings truly do get in the way of things, to be honest... they are completely useless to me. All they are is a burden and an extra area to wash during baths. If I wanted to go upstairs without walking, I could've just teleported.

Okay I'm done ranting... Where was I?

Oh, yes. My wings. I stretched my wings because they were very cramped and sore. I yawned and trotted over to the window. I poked my head out of the window to see if the culprit was still around the area, but the only thing I saw was that ridiculous maze and the statue garden. Suddenly, I hear the smash of a flower vase and a gasp. Something was probably trying to be sneaky, but failed miserably.

"Twilight Sparkle!" a familiar voice thundered. I spin around to see a blue flash gallop towards me and mount itself onto my back. The blue fur, the cocky voice, the swirly mane! This could only be one pony... Ugh.

"Trixie? What are you doing?" I say, giving her a shocked glance. Why wouldn't I be shocked? There's a unicorn randomly sitting on my back!

"Why, the Great and Powerful Trixie is getting her revenge!" she calls triumphantly.

"Again?" I sigh.

"Again," she says.

I give her a confused look.

"Why are you on my back? And what happened to The Great and Apologetic Trixie?" I ask.

"The Great and Apologetic act didn't get as many bits. Also, if I stay on your back, you will not be able to perform your royal duties, and will be prevented from being a Princess ever again!" Trixie laughed.

"How does sitting on me stop me from doing my royal duties?" I question with a deadpan.

"Uh... Oh! You cannot fly!" Trixie says as she points at my now folded wings.

"I don't need to; I could just teleport," I objected. "Now get off."

I closed my eyes and concentrated on throwing the cyan Unicorn off of my back. My wings were starting to hurt. Trixie isn't the lightest of ponies! With a glow of my horn, I teleport myself across the room, leaving Trixie flying onto her flank.

"The Great and Powerful Trixie does not think so!" She snaps and flings herself back onto my withers.

"Oh for Celestia's sake, Trix-" I was about to continue my objection when I heard a knock at my door. I rolled my eyes and trotted over to the door, opening it wide. It was just Pen Ward, the Princess's Scribe. Man, how I hate her!

"Why hello, Princess Sparkle. A message from Princess Celestia..." She announces, handing me a scroll. Which was written on, unlike the one on my desk.

"Why couldn't she have just given it to me herself?" I ask her suspiciously.

"Princess Celestia has been in Saddle Arabia for the past week." she replied throwing in a hint of annoyance. " Princess Sparkle, who is-"

"Thank you, Pen Ward" I growl through my teeth as I slam the door and trot back to my desk, which is a little more difficult since Trixie is still on my back.

"The Great and Powerful Trixie demands to know what is in that scroll." Trixie pulls her other hoof around my waist, sitting on as if I had a saddle on.

This so degrading! But if I try to throw her off, she'll just teleport back onto me again. I'm just gonna have to deal with it.

"Okay, Okay. I'm reading it..." I scan the scroll with my eyes and begin to read.

"Dear Twilight Sparkle,
It seems that there is a disturbance in The Crystal Empire. Since I am in Saddle Arabia and Luna is working on business in Canterlot, I am counting on you to go and investigate. Don't screw this up!
Princess Celestia."

I frown. Don't screw this up? What's that supposed to mean?

"Ah, very interesting! The Great and Powerful Trixie is intrigued. Let's get on our way then." Trixie pointed towards the door.

"Our way? Oh, no. You are not coming with me. Get off," I growl and shake my body like a bull, trying to buck her off.

"The Great and Powerful Trixie is never going to get off, so you had better get used to it," she hissed, sticking her nose toward the air.

"Fine!" I yell and stomp out of the door. Trixie just won't budge!

"Excellent. Now to the train station!" she called, pointing toward the Palace's gate.

I roll my eyes and follow her ‘orders.’ I feel like a mule. No offense, I add in my head. I trotted out of the gate and into the streets of Canterlot. Although the bustling streets were cleared for me, I could tell that people were staring in wonder, seeing their newest Princess being ridden as though she were playing with a child.

This was gonna be a long day.

Act 2 of 3

Trixie Sits On Twilight: Act 2 of 3

By PonyPong

Based on the past 20 minutes, I have lost all of Canterlot's respect for me. Everypony just stared at me and asked questions when I bought the train ticket at the station. This whole situation is more humiliating than that time I was freaking out because I didn't send that letter to Princess Celestia. I turn my head down toward the ground and shamefully walk into the nearest box car of the Equestrian Express. This was going to be an annoying ride I just feel it, either that or it's just Trixie crushing my back.

"Hmm... How long is this train ride, Sparkle?" Trixie asks me.

"I don't know. Probably a half hour or so." I reply.

I shake my head and look out the box car's window. The train wheels shift and begin to spin in place. The trees from outside start to move away. The clouds seem to move faster and faster, hopefully this ride would go by quickly.

"So, what is this Crystal Empire? Is it of any importance?" Trixie randomly asks me, getting my attention by rudely yanking on my mane.

"OW! You could've just! Augh... The Crystal Empire is the center of peace and happiness. It spreads the lights of harmony all across Equestria. If the Crystal Ponies are enslaved or hurt again, the Crystal Heart won't be powered and the Crystal Empire will be incapable to spread that sense of order. The Equestria Games are near, so the Crystal Heart should be extra powerful. I don't know why there would be a disturbance... King Sombra is defeated." I exclaim.

"These are the reasons why you need to get off me and go home!" I shouted at her.

"Hm, no. Trixie will go to this Crystal Empire. Perhaps, she will have to save you somehow with her amazing and fantastic feats!" Trixie waved her hooves in the air and shot out a cloud of green smoke and sparks out of her horn. I cough and wave one of my hooves in front of my face to push the smoke away. I roll my eyes and look up at the blue unicorn.

"Oh come on... Trixie. I don't think your cheap parlor tricks are going to help." I tell her.

She just huffs and crosses her hooves. We don't say a word to each other for the rest of the ride. My gaze turns back to the window, with nothing else to do, I stare. The bright green grass was quickly transitioning into a crisp white snow-bed. I'm am extremely glad that that Cadence actually moved the train station into the actual Kingdom instead of in the middle of a barren wasteland.

The train came to a sharp turn and sped towards the Empire's force field which, luckily, keeps the snow outside where it belongs. I smile, glad that this train ride is finally over I need to stretch my legs out. Maybe, I could also see my brother again and after all of this investigation is done I could help them get ready for the Equestria Games. And can't forget about- Ow! I was so deep in thought I didn't even notice that Trixie was pulling my mane again.

"Geez..." I rub my head with my hoof, "I'd rather have you poke me in the eye..." I wince.

Trixie lets go and points to her tail frantically.

"What's happening?! Why are we changing?!" She gasps.

I sigh.

"We're just turning into Crystal Ponies, it happens when the Crystal Heart is at full strength. It's probably because of all the excitement of the Equestria Games. No need to worry. All the Crystal Heart does is transform our bodies into crystal and it makes our mane's look shiny." I explain to her.

She nods to me nervously and closes her eyes tightly as the crystalfication finishes. I look down at my shining hooves and click them on the tile floor. Solid Crystal! I feel my mane. It's tied up tightly in a bun with a silver headband holding back my bangs neatly. Trixie seemed the same, except for her braided mane and tied back curls.

"Is it done? Is Trixie still alive?" she trembles, slowly opening her eyes. I giggle at such a naive notion.

"Well, you're still on my back are you not? And you're talking to me." I humor her and walk out of the train and onto the station platform. The castle rose up high and proud in the sky close to covering the sun. Everything was crystal the buildings, the clothes, the statues, the civilians literally everything.

Don't know how they eat those crystal apples. I think my teeth would break if I bit into one.

Trixie squinted her eyes.

"These bright colors are damaging Trixie's eye sight. When will it stop?" Trixie complained covering her eyes with her hooves.

"The Crystalfication will stop when I get rid of this disturbance and go back to Canterlot. Your eyes will get used to it in time. Now let's go and ask the other ponies if they've seen anything suspicious lately." I tell her and start to trot towards the central plaza.

"May I be of any assistance? Not like The Great And Powerful Trixie wants to help or anything? She just has nothing better to do." Trixie suggests flipping her braid back and forth.

I ponder for a moment and inhale deeply.

The sooner I get this done the sooner I can go back to my desk in Canterlot, which means that I could use all the help I can get.

I exhale, "Fine." I say.

"Excellent. Now, which way will we go?" Trixie buts, her hoof on her forehead and squints trying to find a pony to talk to.

"How about that pony over there?" I answer and trot over to the garden patch before Trixie could object. The Crystal Pony was watering the vegetables and flowers- which were of course made of crystal just like everything else. I tap the pony's shoulder. She clicks of the hose and turns around with narrowed eyes.

"What do you wa- Oh gosh!" she topped mid sentence and gave a small bow, "I'm sorry Princess Twilight. I didn't know it was you..."

"There is no need to bow" I say, even though I enjoy it very much. Call me power-hungry?

The mare stands back up looks at me.

"Um, Princess who is that?" she asks.

"It's long story. Now, the only reason I am here is because your Princess is apparently incapable of handling this disturbance, being busy with the Equestria Games and all." I explain to the gardener, "So, if I may ask... What in the high stars of space is going on?"

She didn't even answer me. She didn't even do that annoying thing when you think that she's listening to you but all she's doing is nodding her head in agreement. She must be caught on the fact that Trixie is on my back. This wasn't going very well...

"Er... Excuse me?" I wave my hoof in front of her face and she blinks.

"Huh? Oh, I'm s-" she began to apologize but Trixie just had to cut in on the conversation.

"She asked you a question you foalish weakling! How dare you not answer her immediately?! Answer her now or face the wrath of the great. The Powerful. Trixie!" She shouted in the mare's face sparking her green smoke and sparks out of her horn again.

"Seriously! Go to sleep..." I hack and quickly wave the smoke away again.

"What the? Geez... sorry? Uhm, I read on the newspaper that ponies have been disappearing all over the place. We've lost 10 crystal ponies in the past four days. Ponies have been saying that hoofprints have been found by the tavern on Mane Street, it's called The Tavern" the Crystal Pony explained and expectantly went back to her watering.

I trot away and look up at Trixie.

"Wow, that must be the most original name in all of Equestria..." I joke.

"What do you mean? That' not original at all!" Trixie yells at me confusingly.

I gave a little laugh, I didn't know she was that ignorant.

"Okay, let's go to The Tavern... Maybe the ponies there have seen something?" I inquire and trot quickly down one of the main roads.

Crystal Ponies were wiping the sidewalks and streets with rags and brooms. I remember the time when Canterlot hosted the Equestria Games. Princess Celestia did make some of us sweep the sidewalks but, that was it.

The Crystal Ponies must want this to go perfectly, so why would one of them start kidnapping?

I snap out of my thoughts to see Trixie waving her hoof in front of my face.

"Sparkle? We're at The Tavern. Now what?" she questions me. I look up at the flashing sign.

"Yep, this is the place. Let's go inside and speak to the manager." I open the door and shuffle inside, trying not to be seen.

I sneak across the tavern hoping that the ponies are too drunk on nectar to notice that there's a pony on my back. I tap on the bar and grab the bartender's attention. His eyes widened.

"Uh... Miss?" he began.

"Don't. My name is Princess Twilight Sparkle, I have heard that many of the disappearances have been happening around here. I have come to investigate, I need to see your manager." I demand. Trixie nods her head in agreement.

"Oh, uh, right this way Princess..." he says suspiciously and leads me through the kitchen door. I follow him through the kitchen and he ends at a glazed door.

"The manager is right through here." He says and opens the door to let us in.

I peer my head through the door, it didn't lead to a office or anypony. It led to a alleyway.

"What the hay? This isn't the-" I confusingly comment as the bartender shoves me out the door and out onto the streets.

"Crazy ponies pretending they're Princesses... crazy." I hear him mumble as he scoots back into the restaurant and locks the door tight.

I growl and stretch my legs out.

"That little jerk, thinking that I'm some crazy pony. How dare he..." I hiss as I dust my body off, "Does he not know that I'm here to help... the stupid drunkard."

"Now, Now Sparkle. The Great And Powerful Trixie thinks that these words are harsh. Plus, Trixie does not think that we need any help from a foal like the tavern manager. No... Trixie thinks that we should just look on our own. If there were any hoofprints, they would be right here in the alleyway." Trixie says patting my head like a dog.

I look around the ground under my hooves and see a patch of dirt. I squint my eyes at the sight, it didn't look like hoofprints more like... My face lights up and I gasp.

"Trixie! That's it! We're not looking for a pony, we're looking for something bigger." I begin to explain as I pace back and forth.

"Uh, and that is?" Trixie raises her brow and looks down at me.

"Trixie what do you know about animals?" I look up at her.

"Umm... they're annoying?" Trixie shrugs.

I shake my head.

"No. Animals can live in packs. And what animals live in packs?" I poke at her.

"Cows?" Trixie replies, rubbing her head with her hoof.

"No." I state.

"Dinosaurs?!" Trixie shouts.

"What?" I facehoof.

"Umhm...... Dragons!" she covers her eyes with her hooves.

"Augh, no. Dragons travel alone, but some of them do gather together at a central place. Anyways, wolves travel in packs. These aren't hoofprints." I explain and stare at the strange dirt prints, "These are pawprints."

"What are you getting at Sparkle?" Trixie crossed her hooves, "Are you saying wolves are stealing Crystal Ponies?"

"I'm not saying that they're wolves, but they are closely related." I snicker, "Perhaps you can figure out the rest. First, think about where we are."

Trixie taps her head and nods.

"The Crystal Empire? Where there are lots of... crystals?" she ponders.

I nod my head in agreement, might as well.

"Yes and what looove crystals?" I ask as I start to trot away from the alley.

"Um, Dragons? Wait no that's gold..." Trixie bites her lip and closes her eyes, "Augh, come on Sparkle can't you just tell Trixie?"

"I was just trying to build dramatic effect like Sherclop Pones?" I pointed out and shuffled back to Mane Street.

"Well, can you spill the beans already? The suspense is just making Trixie annoyed..." Trixie flattened her ears and waited eagerly for a response. I closed my eyes and grinned.

"Okay Trixie, here it goes... those hoofprints in the alley weren't hoofprints at all. They were pawprints." I revealed, "But as I thought of that, I realized something else. Something rather peculiar."

"Okay?" Trixie covered her eyes with her hooves.

"I found that those prints technically weren't paws. The prints may have have paw pads, but there were five fingers like a hand." I catch my breath and inhale deeply, "Because we're in the Crystal Empire there are jewels, gems and crystals, of course, everywhere. Which makes it an ideal spot for a certain type of creature to live in..."

Trixie throws her face into her hooves and frustratingly.

"...So in conclusion, we are not looking for a Crystal pony. No, one pony couldn't have kidnapped so many ponies in only a few days. Based on those pawprints these weren't ponies at all. The dirt, the paws, the area... it all adds up! Our main suspects arrrreee......The Diamond Dogs!" I shout.

Trixie pulls her hooves away from her face and growls at me.

"What in all of Equestria are Diamond Dogs?! Are they even real?!" she screeched in anger and waves her hooves frantically.

I nod my head and take a deep breathe ready to explain once again.

"Of course Diamond Dogs are real. Actually, about 5 years ago, my friend Rarity was kidnapped by them. Diamond Dogs are fast and strong but, lazy and ignorant. She was able to outsmart them and made the Diamond Dogs give her gems instead of her finding gems for them. Anyways, I remember Rarity telling us that the creatures wanted to make her pull their mine cars. But since Crystal Ponies are technically made of gems and diamonds, I think that they are using them for other reasons... the only way to be certain of my theories is to infiltrate their territory." I say quickly.

I place one of my hooves on my chin, sometimes it's a fun thing to do you know?

"Infiltrate?" Trixie gulped, "How do you suppose we do that? Stay up all night until we're the only ponies on the street, making us an easy target to kidnap?"

I tap the ground with my hoof. The sun was beginning to set low on the horizon. I shake my head to wake myself up and scoot over to lean on one of the benches.

"That's actually not a bad idea." I narrow my eyes and stare off at the various Crystal Ponies galloping into their homes and locking them up tightly.