Between Dreams and Reality
I recognized the feeling of power circuits being reconnected and energy flowing into my inorganic components. As my network connections were restored, I double-checked the base’s clock: 0600, good. I continued loading auxiliary functions, primarily sensor data as I remained disconnected from the primary base network in anticipation of today’s test.
The door sensor alerted me as two lifesigns walked in. I queried their ident badges and confirmed them against the list of authorized visitors, deactivating the toxin dispersal system before it could paralyze them. “Good morning, Doctor Gerrit, Doctor Fletcher,” I said as I activated my visual display.
“Good morning, Caduceus,” Doctor Gerrit replied as he took his seat. “Nice of you to shut off the dispersal system this morning.”
Ignoring the strange sense of humor, I ran his voice against the profile on record. “Voice authentication confirmed: Doctor Stanley Gerrit, Ph.D, Organic Computing.”
“Did you have a quiet night?” Doctor Fletcher asked as she signed into her terminal.
I could feel her loading my maintenance logs from the previous night as I finished her authentication. “Voiceprint confirmed: Doctor Jenna Fletcher, Ph.D, Neuroscience. All systems report no deviations from established protocols.”
“So I see. Do you know what today’s schedule is?” She asked as she took a portable data drive and inserted it into her console.
“Of course, Doctor Fletcher,” I replied, though I felt my sensors indicate unknown data begin to transfer off the drive. “I am required as per Regulation Sierra-11865 to inform you that the introduction of foreign storage devices into my local network is strictly forbidden, and punishable by—”
“It’s alright, Caduceus,” Doctor Gerrit interrupted. “I’m overriding that order for today.”
I churned his response through my primary processors, not comprehending. “But Doctor Gerrit, that regulation was put into place to—”
“I know the reason for the regulation, I wrote it myself.” Gerrit spun in his chair as the phone chimed softly and lifted the receiver to his ear. “Yes?” He listened to the voice on the other end for a few seconds, then nodded. “Yes, of course. I’ll buzz them in.” He turned back to my closest camera. “That was the Director. He said we’ll have a few special guests for today’s test.”
“I see. Did he say who it was?” I asked. The original parameters for this test was for solely Doctors Gerrit and Fletcher to observe. I’d begun to run a subroutine to determine the likely visitors when Doctor Gerrit abruptly stood.
“Well, they’re here already, so why don’t you meet them yourself?” Gerrit replied as he keyed the door open.
I let my sensors sweep out into the hallway, detecting the lifesigns of two transport staff, presumably bringing in the extra organic material for the test. In addition, there were six other lifesigns, though it took a moment for my sensors to account for the one in the middle. It seemed to detect each sensor sweep and change slightly, almost determined to elude analysis. I was preparing more processing power to pin it down when the figure walked into visual range of the door. “Well, that lends more credence to one hypothesis,” I mused as four gold-armored equiforms entered along with it.
“Oh? And what hypothesis might that be?” The tall, white-coated equine in the middle asked, a small smile on her muzzle.
“That your energy signature is not composed of a single waveform, as this unit has observed with other ponies of the unicorn genotype. Such a waveform, along with your distinctive coloration and adornments, signifies you as Princess Celestia of Equestria.”
Princess Celestia inclined her head. “A very astute observation.” She turned to the purple equine standing beside her. “He might even be as observant as you, Twilight. What do you think?”
I let my sensors sweep over the purple unicorn again, and felt a record signal acknowledgement as the patterns matched. “Greetings, Twilight Sparkle.”
“Oh, um, hello...” she replied, her heart rate and flicking tail indicating minor anxiety. “So, how are we going to do this again?”
“Well, as we explained yesterday, an AI is composed of organic and inorganic components, contained within an armored housing,” Doctor Gerrit explained. “However, in the face of the expanding Barrier, we have no way to preserve the AI that have been created. But, it has been theorized that with sufficient biomass, it might be possible to use the potion to ponify the organic parts of the AI’s brain. That’s what we’re going to try today, with Caduceus here.”
“And you’re... okay with this, Caduceus?” Twilight asked, staring curiously at my housing.
“Of course, Twilight Sparkle,” I replied, absently checking on the upload of data Doctor Fletcher had initiated. “I understand fully the goals of today’s experiment.”
“But what if something goes wrong?” she asked, her heart rate elevating and tail flicking in distress.
“There is an 88.96745% chance of complete success, and a 97.58932% chance of success within the boundaries of what is considered acceptable. However, even if something goes wrong, there is still merit in the attempt. The knowledge gained from a failure will allow a much higher chance of success the second time.”
“But aren’t you worried about what’ll happen to you if—” Twilight seemed genuinely concerned for my physical shell.
“My physical material might be destroyed. However, extensive backups of my programming exist in the event of system failure. Should the experiment fail, then one of my backups will be given a new shell and we will try again.”
Twilight stared at one of my camera, her ears tilted back. I cross-referenced her profile with the general database and confirmed that it matched the common behavior for confusion. I wondered if there was a flaw in my explanation.
Before I had the chance to analyze my findings, Doctor Gerrit rose from his chair. “I hate to cut things short, but we are on a tight schedule today. Jenna, if you’d get things going?”
“Sure.” She lifted a large syringe, filled with the nanites that had been programmed specifically for today’s test. “Are you ready, Caduceus?”
“I was prepared for this test 2.4 seconds after you explained it to me six months ago, Doctor Fletcher.” I replied as I downloaded my final status updates to the external storage. “Please proceed.”
She nodded, and inserted the needle into my primary intake valve. I could feel the nanites beginning to swarm through my organic components, congregating first on the inorganic components entirely within my matrix. With a jolt of feedback I felt my networking adaptors separating, disconnecting me from the base network and reducing my awareness significantly.
Next went my video links, and I saw the room dissolve into darkness, the last thing I recorded being Twilight’s face, ears folded back but eyes bright. As more links were severed, I lost sensor feeds, storage access, and internal awareness until finally, I was alone. Even though I could no longer feel the nanites working within me, I knew what would come next, and wondered, for an instant, if this venture would truly succeed.
Then the nanites simultaneously delivered an electrical shock along my entire cortex, shutting down my higher functions and silencing my processes.
I’d analyzed reports from thousands of converts, detailing their Dreams: the conversations they believed they’d had with the Princesses of Equestria, the experience of running with the Eternal Herd, the feeling of the Summerlands. Each individual report was, as expected, disjointed, filled with metaphorical concepts and sorely lacking in hard data. However, I felt that, given the number of reports received, I’d overcome those barriers to develop an accurate picture of a Conversion Dream’s sequence.
In my thirty years of activity, never had I been more wrong.
I first became aware that I was lying on something soft on one side, a warm but not uncomfortable heat on the other. It fell within what I assume was the proper safety parameters, since it wasn’t registering any alarms...
I realized that I couldn’t sense any of my alarms. I knew that, logically, as the Conversion process started, I’d be disconnected from all my external sensors—but to actually perceive their lack ... what was this pounding inside me, this heaving? I thought for a second and realized three things. First and second, that was my heart beating and lungs breathing. Third, the reason for their behavior was no doubt the emotion described as ‘panic.’
In the same second, I realized that panic is far more powerful an emotion than I had expected it to be. I felt myself spasming, striking out at anything in a vain attempt to dispel the feeling gripping me.
A sudden snort of hot air against my neck made me freeze, and I felt the top of my head flicking. My ears. As I calmed down, I remembered the scans I’d made of the ponies and focused on figuring out my anatomy. Okay, I had four legs, the tail, it seemed like all my internal organs were there...
Another burst of air interrupted me, accompanied this time by a pressure on the side of what should be my neck. I shifted, still sorting out the connections, and found what had to be my optic feed. I opened the lens and winced at the light streaming in, though I could make out a few shapes looming over me. As my vision cleared, I could make out several equine shapes, though they didn’t seem to be resolving properly. After considering what I’d studied, they could only be the Eternal Herd.
I opened my mouth to try and speak, but nothing beyond what could generously be described as a strangled whinny emerged. I felt my face frown as I tried to process what I knew on how the Equestrian language worked, but could only make the same strangled noises.
Nonetheless, the pony nudging me seemed to understand, and they nosed at me until I was able to get my legs under me. I wobbled, but felt a pony press in on either side of me. I recalled the videos I’d examined of newborn foals trying to walk, but found it frustratingly difficult to translate those videos into actual results. However, the ponies around me encouraged me, urging me forward, and I was soon putting one hoof in front of the other with ease.
I heard a distant whinny, and almost as one, the mood of the herd changed. I could practically feel it in my bones, the urge to run almost overpowering. The ponies around me tossed their heads and turned, breaking into a fast trot, then a gallop..
“W... wa...” I tried to say frantically, only to go unheard as I felt myself pressed into motion. I stumbled a few times, but the same pony who’d helped me kept me up. Or at least I thought he was the same pony. The herd seemed to blur into each other, a mass of forms all moving as one being. The ground flew along beneath us as we surged forward, uncaring of the destination, only the run itself.
Wait. When did I start galloping? I felt a brief surge of panic begin to overcome me, only for the comforting pressure of my herd-mates to utterly block it out. I closed my eyes, letting my body’s instincts guide me as I ran on and on—
Right into a wall of what felt like warm, soothing water mixed with the feeling of the sun from before, and oddly enough comfort.
“Well, it’s not often we receive one so eager to see us, is it Sister?” A warm, gentle voice asks. I opened my eyes, and very nearly shut them again at the blinding light. I glanced at the floor to try and spare my vision, and realized that there was no shadow cast. But that made no sense, there should be at least something, given how bright it was.
I lifted my head, squinting through the light. As I felt my eyes adjust a little, I could make out two figures standing at the heart of it. One, the larger, was obviously the source of the light, or at least the more dominant. The other radiated just as much light, but this was somehow different, like staring into a nebula.
“Who... who are...” I managed to get out, still working on figuring out words.
The ethereal figure laughed lightly. “Your thoughts are more than sufficient, little Caduceus.” Her mouth remained unmoving, though a ghost of a smile played about her muzzle. “We know that you are not used to such a state, but many millions have made the same leap before you. And more shall follow in your stead. For one so convinced of their prior path, you will now find yourself bereft. But do not despair, for there will be those who can guide you.” The light pouring off their bodies began to grow even brighter, and I had to squeeze my eyes shut. “But now, it is time to wake up...”
But I am awake.... aren’t I?
As the light slowly faded to blackness, I heard muted voices nearby. I struggled to focus, the words gradually resolving.
“—no response, get me the crash cart! We might be able to save him!” a male voice shouted. I recognized it a second later as Doctor Gerrit’s, worry practically burning through his words. I realized I could actually feel it, in a sense, and I snorted in alarm, my new ears flicking in sympathy.
“Wait! He moved!” came another voice, it had to have been Doctor Fletcher’s, washing over me with curiosity and hope. The worry that Doctor Gerrit had instilled in me drowned under it’s touch, and I sighed in relief.
Curious. Was there some aspect of Conversion that heightened an individual’s receptiveness to the emotional state of others? Might that explain why the newly Converted seemed so happy, and so driven to make those around them happy as well? This bore further consideration—
“Can you open your eyes?” I heard Doctor Fletcher ask, and after a few seconds remembering the correct sequence, I opened my eyes for the first time. The ceiling lights made me squint, but I acclimated and saw Doctors Gerrit and Fletcher, beyond them Twilight Sparkle and Princess Celestia.
“How do you feel?” Twilight blurted out, then blushed a little as everyone turned to look at her. Princess Celestia, however, smiled at me. It felt... strange. Not quite a happy smile, or a sad one, or any emotion in particular. If anything, it was the smile of the supremely pleased, content that everything was as it should be.
“I... I don’t know.”
