Wardrobe To Equestria

by Melzie

Rating: teen
Tags: Alternate Universe, Romance, Comedy, Adventure, Crossover, Human
Length: 7546

3 humans chance upon a wardrobe that leads into the beautiful world of Equestria, and at the same time transformed into ponies. But something is different- Equestria does not exist.

A parody of "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe", It is a story of Mel, as plucky girl who discovers a hidden wardrobe with her friends Haz and Nick, and through much pain and betrayal, they make a pact, and decide to leave behind their lives in the human world, and start on their adventure, on four hooves. But they soon realize there is a huge gap where Equestria is supposed to be- and nopony seems to know what is Equestr- oh sorry, I couldn't say that, because Equestria ceased to exist.
And far, far away in a different time period, Doctor Whooves senses great danger happening soon to Equestria- these three now ponies would affect the future of Equestria, but, for better….or for worse?

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-06-05 03:03:01 UTC

Meetings, Disturbances, and Good Ideas

"Sharing, kindness, its an easy feat,"

I hummed the theme song for "My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic" as I sat down at one of the tables of a dainty, garden themed café.

A waiter brought a tray with two glasses of Milo, a chocolate drink. I stared at it.

It was simple enough to make, chocolate powder, then add milk.

But the drink shared deeper meaning than that to me.

I smiled goofily as I reminisced the old times I'd had with a childhood friend.

He would always drink that for recess time, and so would I. We'd talk with the Milos in hand, and I remember always bugging him for money to buy it if I'd forgotten to bring my purse to school.

And occasionally, after we were both done, we'd use the straws to fling ice at each other, declaring war. One time it ended with the discipline teacher getting hit by an ice. And we both ended up getting caned for fooling around.

The drink sure held some history.

Stirring the drink, I looked around for the arrival of this special friend of mine.

10 years....

The races we had from our class to the canteen..

10 years....

Hiding in the class from prefects during recess just cause we were too lazy to go to the canteen...

10 years...

Getting teased by our fellow classmates for being a couple...

I had giggled a little at that one.

10 years....

"..and magic makes it all complete.."

I sang the last part of the song out loud and a few people turned their heads to look at me with weird stares.

“Ding-a-ling!” chimed the bell hanging from one of the handles on the door to the entrance.

A man wearing a suit and tie walked in. I instinctively looked up, hoping it would be him.

He wore a dark blazer with a pink shirt and a bright green tie. He had on pleated brown pants and black leather shoes. Simple and formal.

Much too simple and formal. Surely he would arrive in more casual attire?

I couldn't help giggling as I imagined a scenario in my head.

"Man…If that guy were Nick.. Hee.."

Suddenly their eyes locked- and something clicked.

"Mel!" Nick exclaimed.

I could almost hear the sound of my jaw crashing on to the table.

                                                                                  ****

Doctor Whooves jerked up straight at his desk, knocking over a jar of ink to the ground.

"Doctor!" Exclaimed Derpy, shocked by his sudden movement. She picked up the jar of ink, getting her hooves inked like a filly trying hoof-painting.

"Something isn't right!" he exclaimed, turning around, this time knocking over the book he was reading quietly just a moment ago.

"Doctor! Stop!" shouted Derpy. "What's wrong?"

His neck jerked to the side to face Derpy.

"What's wrong?" he repeated. "I'm getting that feeling- that same feeling I got when Nightmare Moon appeared... Something is about to happen. And that's not a particularly good thing."

“That sounds like Pinkie Sense to me..” muttered Derpy.

Derpy stepped out of the room slowly, her worried gaze still fixed on the Doctor, now sitting in his "thinking chair", drumming his hooves on the armrest.

She closed the door softly behind her and trotted down the hall to another room and knocked.

After moments of waiting patiently to no avail, she banged harder on the door.

"Vinyl? Vinyl, are you in?" she shouted. “I need to ta-“

The door crashed open before Derpy could finish her sentence, and Vinyl came crash-landing on top of poor Derpy. Her ears suddenly felt like bleeding- and the walls seemed to shake around her.

"SORRY!" Vinyl's yelling could barely be heard over the repetitive bass drops. But being a DJ for so long, she knew how to make herself heard over loud noises. "I WAS EXPERIMENTING WITH THE BASS VOLUMES, BUT THE SPEAKERS GOT JAMMED, AND IT KEEPS ON DROPPING THE BASS!"

She was smiling as she said all this, clearly used to the sound decibels-

Derpy, however, felt like projectile vomiting all over Vinyl.

She retreated back into the room, finally noticing how green Derpy looked. After lowering the volume, by a minute amount, she stepped out, grinning.

"So... Whaddaya need from the Scratcheroo?" she asked, hands on hips.

Derpy rubbed her still pulsating ears, and gave her a serious look. Which was quite hard to accomplish with her gold colored eyes, that could never seem to look in the same direction, not to mention the throbbing headache from the wubs.

"It's... The Doctor... He's been acting... Well.. Strange."

"Typical Whooves." Vinyl grinned, in a ‘why-should-care?’ way.

Derpy shook her head.

"It's different this time." She said, unsmiling.

Vinyl cocked her head to the side, causing her dark purple shades to slide down a little, on the bridge of her nose.

She looked from the top of her shades, her brilliant red eyes gleaming.

                                                                            ****

I stood up, utterly shocked at the sight before me- the man in the suit.

The milo tipped over when I had stood up so suddenly, and trails of brown dripped slowly onto the floor.

Everyone in the café had craned their necks to watch the unfolding drama. The usual clatter of cutlery hitting a plate, or the hum of usual café chatter just stopped.

All eyes on me.

I wished, at that moment things would slow down. I was expecting.. Well.. Nick! And this man... he was Nick...but he seemed more of Nicholas, the guy in the suit, rather than Nick, my old trusted buddy and pal.

I sighed, thinking, “Nick certainly can’t stay the same troublemaking, carefree boy he was when we were younger forever.

But then again, I was quite the drama queen then, and still am. I had a second to myself to realize how little I changed.. Looking up at Nick once again, “…and how Nick just… just evolved!” I thought to myself.

He seemed pretty casual seeing me, until I had a mini heart attack right then.

After all the hubbub I created, everyone returned to what they were doing, realizing that we weren't lost lovers or something dramatic like that.

We began chatting, just like we always did in the good ‘ol days. And for quite awhile, it soon got dark, and Nick said he’d had to go.

“Cant keep her waiting,” he grinned. “But this isn’t over, we still have like, 10 years left to catch up on.”

Somehow I couldn't get a sense of closure from that. We chatted about how we still had loyal love for MLP, and how we were getting on.

Nick had gotten a girlfriend, and they had been dating for about 3 years already.

I laughed and admitted I still haven't found my special somepony yet.

I asked if I could meet her, and he said yes-

"But," he lifted his index finger, "you're gonna have to find a date too, missy. Then we can-"

"DOUBLE DATE!" We squealed together.

Alright, I squealed. He made a sound something like shriek.

It felt like we're in primary again. Except this time instead of me making fun of him and his crush, it was him making fun of me not having a boyfriend.

Besides MLP, we talked a lot about how we used to play this game called "League Of Legends" and how we were completely, over-the-top, day and night, ADDICTED to it.

We also had another gaming pal, Haz, short for Hazrain, we never actually did meet him. And slowly we lost contact of him. I think I'll have to make a Google search on him. Since we're older now... Heck, we could even pay him a visit!

Suddenly, I could almost feel the warmth of a shining light bulb above my head.

“Ideeeaaaa!” I jumped up and shouted.

Derpy glanced between the small crack in the door.

Whooves was still in the same position she had left him. His hooves mechanically drumming over and over on the armrest.

He was muttering to himself, something about "humans". But they were just old mares' tales. Something that would probably only exist in a parallel dimension-

once the thought struck Derpy, she tumbled through the door, snapping the doctor out of his "trance".

Vinyl stepped in after her, trotting over her hind legs.

"Doctor," she said, standing up. "Is something happening in the world of humans?"

Whooves stared at Derpy in pleasant surprise. "Why, Derpy," he began "that was exactly what I was thinking! Clever pony!"

Derpy beamed at this sudden praise, and Vinyl looked confused.

"Humans?" She scoffed. "Aren't those just as real as my great aunt Berthina?"

"You have a great aunt Berthina?" asked a confused Derpy.

Whooves shook his head. “Though your great aunt Berthina could very well be alive in another dimension.” He chuckled.

Then it was back to serious time.

"Well this world.. humans are just fairy tales.

But beyond this world- the other dimensions- the other universes- it's likely they do exist." He said wisely, yet at the same time dreamily. "And a few of them... No.. Three of them to be exact... Are about to do something..." he sank lower into his thinking chair, letting the leathery material envelope him.

"Something they will very much regret."

Things start to happen, and a Lunatic Girlfriend

"Nick, guess what?" I screeched into the slim smartphone in my hand.

There was a fumbling noise over the line, and then-

"People usually start with hello, Mel." said Nick.

I scoffed.

"Yeah, normal people do that, shall we not go into the habits of normal Homo sapiens now?” I said, excited. “I've got news! Meet me at the café again!"

I hung up the phone, giggled at the thought of Nick holding the phone in his hand, his mouth open.

Which was probably what he was doing then, actually.

I headed straight for the café where we'd met up at the other day.

He was waiting there impatiently, I was surprised to find that he had reached there faster than I did this time.

Again, he was dressed in a suit. I felt strangely self conscious, wearing a bright pink t-shirt that had "SWAG" emblazoned in neon green on the front.

I do look wild compared to him, the only thing remotely distinct, was that his hairstyle done just the way he had always wanted it, ever since we were kids- Discorded Whooves-style.

While I, on the other hand, had angry, neon green highlights in my unevenly cut hair. Kinda like Vinyl Scratch, but, green. Just how I liked it.

I flicked the stray strand of hair hanging down his forehead.

"I didn't notice that," I said. "Finally got your hair to obey, huh?"

He nodded and smiled.

"So, what was your big news?" he asked. "It better be worthwhile for me to have taken a 15-minute can ride here, when I should be taking a bath right now."

I giggled. "Oh, it's big alright! Remember talking about how we should double date?" I said, barely able to keep my excitement in. "Well guess what? I found myself a date! And it's someone you know, too! We met him during primary school!"

Nick held his breath at ‘met him during primary school’ and waited for me to continue.

"Oh no," Whooves jumped out of his chair, knocking over a side table. "It's happening.. Right now... I have to stop it!"

Derpy's eyes were as wide as saucers. She knew when the Doctor got into something, nobody could stop him. So she just supported him. No matter how much danger he put her through.

Because she loved the Doctor.

"Doctor... What's wrong? What are you planning to-" she frantically tried to calm him down, but it was no use.

When had only one thing on his mind, he would get it no matter what.

And that was to get his bum into the TARDIS, and save those idiotic humans.

"Vinyl, make sure the systems doesn’t short circuit itself." He commanded.

Vinyl pulled a confused face and tilted her head to the side, indicating she didn’t understand the Doctor’s wishes.

“Make sure the compters over there don’t go ka-boom, understood?”

Vinyl nodded and got to work.

"And.. Derpy?"

"Yes, Doctor?" said Derpy, willing to do anything for the doctor.

"Stay out of my way."

Those words pierced through Derpy like a blade.

She knew she only screwed things up when she tried to help..

“But..but...” she stammered. "...yes.. Doctor..."

He took a step back, then fled.

As the door slammed hard, Vinyl held back her urge to go comfort Derpy, if she’d left halfway, it would explode probably all over Whooves, if she left halfway, then comforting Derpy would be even harder.

"I'll find her later." she thought.

Meanwhile, Derpy sat in her room, with a box of tissues on her left, and crumpled used tissues on her right. She sobbed continuously, knowing that the Doctor would never love her as much as she did him.

After half an hour of snot filled tissues and red rimmed eyes, there was a knock on her door as she began to compose herself.

"Come in.." She whimpered.

It was Vinyl.

Anyone could see the concern in her devil-red eyes. But Derpy thought differently. She'd have wonderful daydreams where she and the Doctor were married and in love, and then...

Vinyl would come in. And steal the Doctor away from her.

She hated her immensely. Anger crossed her eyes as she'd realized that Vinyl and the Doctor were alone in the TARDIS room for about half an hour longer than she could take it.

Derpy lashed out at her "friend", not being able to take it anymore.

"I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!" she echoed, except  her voice got louder and louder.

If Vinyl wasn't concerned earlier, she definitely was now.

Derpy started to cry again, but this time, with tears of anger. She felt angrier that Vinyl was watching her cry like this, until..

"Get out. Get out of my room."

Vinyl stared at Derpy, her mouth agape.

"Derpy-" she started.

"I SAID GET THE HELL OUT OF MY ROOM."

She pointed her tear stained hooves at the door.

"And you know what," Derpy stopped crying for a moment. Her voice hard and firm, she continued. "Get out of my house too. Pack up, leave."

Now Vinyl KNEW she was off her rocker, her house was destroyed by a little accident with her bass canon, and while Octavia was crashing with Lyra and Bon Bon.. The only place that could take her in was Derpy and Whooves' place.

But now she's kicking her out of there too?

But Vinyl didn't see another option. Derpy had stopped crying and now her face held only anger, and.. discord.

"YOU!" Nick screamed. "You..can't..MEL!”

Once again, everyone in the café stared at us.

The owners really should pay us for providing all this entertainment at this drab little café.

"Me, me, me." I said, dancing around him. "Nick, meet our old comrade- Hazrain!"

He stepped into the café, looking shy and a little scared to be there. "Hey guys. Long time."

Nick stood there, mouth agape.

"How did-" he started.

"I had his address from the letters I used to send him!" I said, cutting him off, and broke into giggles.

Everybody started getting back to eating since all that was happening was Nick looking at me, looking at Haz, then looking at me, then Haz again, me, then Haz..

Until I got bored and ordered a milo from the waiter-

"On second thought- make it three."

The waiter nodded and I pull out a chair from an empty table.

"All this standing's making me tired."I said. "Come on, have a seat!"

I grinned as Nick sat down, his left eye twitching.

"Bu.. But... You... You're..."

"Why don't you give Tracy a call?" I calmly said.

"You want the double date.. Now?"

He seemed to be speaking full sentences now. I supposed he'd be ready for it, since he's dressed for it anyway.

"Yes, now. I didn't ask you to call her to see how she's doing." I scoffed.

The milos arrived, and Haz quietly sipped at his. Nick played with his straw as he called his girlfriend to come over.

I slurped on my milo loudly. I just felt like singing "This Day Aria", haven't felt this excited in awhile.

Soon, we started chatting, like we always used to, then the door opened and in came Tracy. As soon as I saw her, my jaw dropped.

I glared at Nick, giving him the signal like,

"WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS LATER"

She smiled at all of us with her lipsticky lips, and pursed her lips towards Nick. He gave her a quick kiss and she squashed herself between me and Nick.

Alright, alright, I get that she's the girlfriend, but still! "Excuse me" was invented for a reason. Or maybe.. She held a grudge.

Tracy Heron.

Our old enemy from primary school. And when I say "our" I MEANT "our". Me and Nick absolutely abhorred the girl. We made jokes about her butt for heaven's sake.

I resisted the urge to just laugh out loud at all this.

I mean.. We made her life living hell in primary.. I should be ashamed but.. Well, at least she doesn't seem to recognize me like I do her.

"So Tracy...tell us more about yourself."

Derpy's catchphrase was "I just don't know what went wrong."

But in this case, Vinyl was saying it. After her big "fight" with Derpy, she didn't know what to think or do!

"Should I really pack everything up..?" she thought. "Maybe Derpy has changed her mind... Maybe she just said it in the moment cause she was angry..."

Derpy was beyond angry. She was confused, hurt, and above all, furious. It was like something was taking over her, something she really... liked, somehow. After being put aside by her beloved Doctor... This was a feeling she could enjoy.

Discordance.

Her coat turned a darker shade of grey.. And her hair was so brittle and it was almost white.. She knew it wasn't right. But it wasn't right either, how she loved the Doctor so much, yet he would not return her feelings.

She felt as if the tears would start coming again anytime now- but she stopped herself as she reached for the tissues.

"Wasting tears on a stallion that will never return your love is pathetic." The voice in her head echoed over and over.

"NO! NO! NO! NO!" she screamed, pulling at her mane, she fell off-balance and crashed into her mirror- she fell on the floor, causing a loud crash. Glass flew in all directions, and her wings and her body were all badly cut- but she didn't feel the pain.

She stood up, brushing herself off, she gazed into the mirror.

It wasn't herself she saw in the mirror. It was a monster.

Vinyl knocked down the locked door to Derpy's room, and yelled.

"WHAT IN EQUESTRIA IS GOING ON H-"

Derpy was covered in cuts and blood.

She turned to look at Vinyl, and she screamed.

"DE...DERPY...?" She covered her mouth with her hand. "Oh my god..."

Besides the evil that Derpy was radiating.. There was something also very strange.

Her eyes.. Were both in perfect condition.

They were perfect.. but evil.

Derpy.. Wasn't derpy anymore.

"Fire in the hole!" I yelled as the cork flew across the room. The scent of grape and expensive alcohol filled the air, and I held a glass to get most of the champagne flowing out of the bottle.

It was our second date, we had a fun time that day at the café, getting to "re-know" each other, but that was just pre-game.

This time it'd be to see if they could handle having a good time. With me.

Tracy, still oblivious to the fact I was THE Melissa that ruined her life in primary. I decided to keep it that way, maybe this was her way of saying "water under the bridge."

We had a pretty good time together, a few awkward moments when Tracy would make a reference to an anime or a manga- and we'd all stare at her blankly and she'd get frustrated.

Also, she's kinda bossy.

And rude.

And I'm pretty sure she farted but blamed Nick for it that day in the café.

But besides that its totally peachy keen!

"Something's not totally peachy keen with Tracy." said Hazrain.

I nodded, agreeing with him.

Freedom, and Other Shenanigans

“Something's not totally peachy keen with Tracy." said Hazrain.

I nodded, agreeing with him.

Haz laughed. "He can't hear you nodding, Mel."

I knocked myself on the head and giggled.

"Silly me," I spoke into the speakerphone.

Nick laughed on the other line.

"So, you thought the date last night wasn't a success?" he asked.

I coughed purposefully.

“You have got to be KIDDING me." I screeched. "After I popped the cork, she insisted you bring her another, so she could do it herself, saying it 'looked like so much fun, I just have to try it myself!' And then after that she almost gouged out your eye! How could that not be a disaster?"

Silence on the line as Nick tried to think of something remotely pleasant that happened last night.

"Well... she missed?" he stuttered.

"It was like she was aiming for your head.." said Haz. "But it went right through your TV, dude, I can't believe you aren't making her buy you another."

"It didn't go.. Right through! It just made a dent." was all Nick had to say.

"A dent that caused the floor to be covered with glass? Riiiight." I smiled. I didn't know Nick was so... Subdued about the whole thing. And that Tracy was so domineering.

"Nickie, honey, go get me another bottle, I want to try popping it myself, Melissa here made it look so fun!" her words rung in my ears.

Sometimes Tracy seemed make out like she did know that I WAS the Melissa, the one that teased her relentlessly, and.. she seemed to hold a grudge for it, but sometimes, she'd be all, "Melissa dear," it made me feel sick to my stomach.

It felt like that Turkish delight Edward had eaten in Narnia. It was delightful, of course, but at the same time it was so controlling.. You just need more.. And more... And more.

Just like the Turkish delight, Discordance seemed to take over Derpy’s body, her brain, her heart.

The chaos coursed through her veins, beating up her Derpy genes, and sending them packing to the deepest, darkest corners of her personality.. Her soul.

Her memories were all altered as if she had always been Discorded. Her love that was once all spent on Doctor Whooves, all just seemed to disintegrate as if it were nothing.

She viewed Vinyl in disgust.

She seemed out of place in the chaotic aura floating in the room. It seemed to choke Vinyl as she breathed it in.

Derpy leaned in to whisper in Vinyl's ear. Her freezing-cold breath proved to be foul-smelling as well.

It usually smelled of muffins.

"It's delicious, isn't it?" smiled Derpy.

Her eyes turned from her beautiful shining amber, to a dark, slime green.

Pushing past the gasping Vinyl, she left the room, out the door, and stretched out her wings, and leaving a trail of dark grey feathers behind her, she took flight.

To where, not even Derpy herself knew. She let the feeling of discord lead her.

“Free at last.."

Vinyl stumbled on the broken glass, gaping as the dark grey figure flew off into the horizon.

Vinyl climbed up and opened the window to take a closer look.

A stray grey feather flew close by, about to land on the ground, when Vinyl reached out to take it.

It was a coarse and brittle  grey coloured feather.

"This can't be Derpy's.." mumbled Vinyl. "Her feathers are always very well kept…"

She fiddled with the feather in her hand.

She panicked as it started to disintegrate and crack on her hoof. She jumped off the windowsill and her hooves started to bleed as she landed on the broken glass. With bloody hoof prints trailing behind her, she ran to her room, and set it down on a desk.

Taking a seat, she stared at the feather, turning it over and over.

"Oh my god!" I screamed as I threw my keys on the table, and threw myself on the couch. "That was worse than the dinner."

Hazrain came in too, and Nicholas followed suit.

"I never knew someone's face could actually turn crimson. Like, crimson crimson." mumbled Haz.

Nicholas looked subdued, probably still recovering from the shock of the night.

He slumped into one of the armchairs in  Hazrain's quaint living room.

I kicked off my shoes and set down her feet on the coffee table.

"Alright.." declared Nick. "Tracy maybe a little crazy."

"I disagree on the 'maybe a little' part." interrupted Haz.

I kicked my foot up in agreement.

I giggled as I recounted the events of that night. It felt quite like a dream.

It started off normal, me and Nick were outside the karaoke bar, waiting for Haz and Tracy to arrive, when a taxi drew up and a familiar face smiled at us from the window.

"Hazrain!" I exclaimed, "You're la-"

But before I could finish my sentence, another familar face came up from behind Haz.

"Tracy!" gasped Nick. "Wha...why are you arriving with Haz?"

Tracy stepped out, daintily. Her flowery train dragged on the ground.

She handed me a bag, decorated with flowery designs. “Hold this, thank you.” she said, ignoring Nick.

"Oh, don't be so surprised hon. I merely saw Hazrain as I was shopping for this beautiful ensemble!”

She twirled, the flower-print sash from her flowery sunhat twirled around, too, brushing gently against Nick's face.

I was beginning to see a pattern in her clothing.

“I told him the shirt he was wearing was absolutely hideous.” she continued. “So, I got him this beautiful blazer instead.”

She tugged on Haz’s new blazer, smiling.

Haz blushed profusely.

“ I guess that’s where Nick got his suits too, huh?” I joked.

“How did you know?” replied Tracy, gleeful her choice of dressing was showing.

I looked to Nick and he nodded. So that’s where the suits came from.

“Well, what are we doing, standing outside here?” I said, deciding to change the subject. “Let’s head in.”

We were greeted by a loud series of noises, voices of both good and bad singing clashed all around the room.

“Hallo, hallo, hallo!” said a voice behind a door. “If it isn’t Melzie the Legend!”

I grinned. I turned to face my friends, and Tracy.

“Guys, this is Frostbite.” I said. “He was my old singing partner-in-action. We won countless karaoke battles together, a long time ago.”

Frostbite slapped me on the back, “Well, it’s a nice surprise to see you in here again!” he boomed, in his loud, deep voice. “I’m assuming you three are her friends? V.I.P. room it is then, free of charge, don’t worry!”

I smiled at my generous friend. “Really, Frostbite? That’s really not necessary, what if a customer comes and wants the V.I.P. room?” I asked.

“Then he’d have to wait.” He replied. “It’s called the Very Important Person room for a reason!”

He gestured for us to follow him. And I shrugged, and followed.

We stayed close behind Frostbite, it had been ages since I was here, and it was bigger than I remembered. Soon, we reached a very long hallway, with a gold door at the end.

On the door was a not a sign, but instead it had the words “V I P ROOM” engraved on the door.

“Is that real go-“ asked Tracy, impressed.

“Yes.” replied Frostbite, anticipating the question. “Only the best for the V.I.P.s.”

He tapped in a code word on a hidden keypad on the door so fast, I barely noticed the movement. The door opened slowly, to reveal a beautifully furnished room, with a mini- fridge, couches, and a glass coffee table. Faux-leopard skin covered the walls and floor, all except one huge gap on the wall.

"That ugly bare wall doesn't seem very V.I.P.ish." said Tracy, while we were marvelling at the beautiful room.

"Where's the TV?" I asked, realizing there was no television, or screen.

Frostbite laughed his hearty laugh, and said, "I thought you'd never ask!"

He raised his hands like a conductor, demanding silence. Even Tracy stopped her complaining about the cold room, and the bare wall. "Joanne," he said. "Play theme song for My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, please."

The bare wall blinked to life, and a female's face appeared. I guessed it was Victoria. Hidden speakers in the walls began to boom. "Playing theme song for My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic." and so it did.

Frostbite handed us some gold microphones. "Go ahead, I need to make sure those idiot customers of mine don't get too rowdy or anything." then he left.

Haz and Nick grinned at each other, and soon Tracy reluctantly began to sing with us.

We spent the whole night there, singing and having fun.

Then it happened.

As we were leaving, something caught our eyes. It was a flowery dress, hat, handbag, the same one's as Tracy's... on another unsuspecting girl.

We had to literally prise Tracy off the poor girl. Then we begged her not to file any police reports on her.

Kicking and screaming, we dragged Tracy back into our cab ride home.

Welcoming Smiles, and a Google Search

Derpy smiled as she landed perfectly onto a a cliff that overlooked Ponyville.

Taking one last glance, she turned, and took flight to the direction of the Everfree forest.

“Who.. Who are you?" asked Derpy.

She was in a dark place. But even so, she could see clearly what was sitting calmly in front of her.

It was herself. For a moment she thought it was a mirror without edges, but when she spoke, the figure in front of her didn't move a muscle.

"Where the brambles are thickest…”Derpy recited, looking around. “There you will find, a pond beyond the most twisted of vines!" she dug at the ground, and the soil immediately caved in, opening a hole large enough for a pony to fit in.

"You look just like-" started Derpy.

But her lookalike blinked, and she noticed her eyes. They were in perfect condition, unlike her own.

The water rippled as Derpy half-landed into a large pond, in the heart of the Everfree forest.

“The magical mirror pond.” said Derpy, her voice bouncing off the cave’s rocky walls.

She smiled as she slowly lowered herself in, reciting.

"And into her own reflection she stared, yearning for one whose reflection she shared,” her whole body was in the pond now. But she could still somehow speak without bubbles escaping her, or the water distorting her words.

“And solemnly swore not to be scared …at the prospect of being double-mared."

"Just like you?" the figure spoke, finishing Derpy's sentence. "My dear, I am you."

Derpy pulled a derp face without problem. She started walking towards 'herself', looking for any other dissimliarities.

“Well, hello.” Said Derpy to Derpy.  She looked upon her clone, admiring the handiwork of the mirror pond.

“Hello to you too.” said the clone. “What shall we do today?”

“I say we rustle up some trouble in boring ol’ Ponyville.”

"But... your eye, it's alligned," she said, pointing to her own." Unlike mine, of course."

Without a reply, Derpy teetered on her hooves awkwardly.

"So... any idea where we are?"

“DERPY!” shouted Vinyl, bursting from the doors of the house. “Thank goodness you’re back!”  she wrapped her arms around the clone, enveloping her in a tight hug.

“Um… blue striped mane… sunglasses.. must be the Vinyl she told me about.” she thought to herself.

“Hello, Vinyl, it’s good to be back. I’ve missed you too… best friend?”

Vinyl detatched herself from Derpy, looking at her with confusion. Best friend? Vinyl would have been glad to be able to call her that, but Derpy calling her a best friend?

She stared at her so intently, the clone started to worry if she’d said the wrong thing. Fortunately for it, decided that it was Derpy’s way of saying “All is forgiven.” And let the matter pass.

“Come on in, I’ve missed you so much,” she continued. “You had me worried when you just went off flying like that, I’ve already cleared away the mess in your room.”

Derpy struggled to remember the name of the other stallion that lived there. "What was it? the Accountant?"

"So... has the Doctor missed me?" the clone asked.

Vinyl stopped abruptly, thinking of how the Doctor was more angry about the mess in Derpy's room than Derpy herself going missing.

"Uh..."she mumbled. "Yes. Yes he has."

Vinyl looked tight lipped as she had just lied- but she wouldn't take any chances with Derpy flying off again, if she found out the Doctor didn't even wince upon finding out that she'd been missing for 2 whole days already.

"What's that sound?"said Derpy, her ears perking up. She had been sitting quietly, parallel to her lookalike.

Still, with no response from her lookalike, she decided to just walk around and see if she could remember what had happened to her.

“All I remember… was my eyes hurting… “ she thought “..then Vinyl came in and…. I got angry. I remember.” Her heart clenched, thinking of how she had lashed out on the completely innocent Vinyl.

“Oh no,” Derpy breathed at last.

Nick struggled to keep both Tracy, and his friends happy.

He decided to have a little talk with Tracy, to see what she really thought of Haz and Mel.

“No date tonight,” he announced to Haz and Mel at the café they always seem to end up in. “Gotta find out what the lady really thinks of you guys!”

Haz and Mel said “awwww,” in unison, but as soon as Nick left, they sighed in relief.

“Hey, have you ever noticed Nick always calls Tracy ‘the lady’?” I asked Haz. :It's weird."

He nodded, and pulled out a sleek black laptop from his backpack.

“I say we do a little research on Tracy Heron.” He said, with a smile. “I think there’s more to her than flowery dresses and temper tantrums.”

Connecting to the the café’s wifi, he started by making a Google search. Strangely, there was a Wikipedia on Lady Tracy Heron. There was a picture of her, too, removing all doubt from their minds, the Tracy they’d been hanging out with the past few days was an actual Lady!

“Heiress to the Heron & Sons gold mining empire.” muttered Haz. I whistled. “She’s rolling in the dough! That would explain how she could spare Nick so many suits. It would barely make a dent in her daddy’s gold frickin’ empire!”

“Hey, maybe everytime we go out, we can make her pay for everything.” I joked. “But.. doesn’t that mean.. well.. is Nick could have been using her for her money?”

‘Maybe he didn’t know she was a Lady either.” Haz replied. “Though I doubt it. If he didn’t know, he’d probably have noticed by the dozen over suits she’d bought for him.”

“Looks like we’re gonna have a little talk with Nick and his ‘Lady’” said Haz, his tone quite serious.

I noticed the grim look on his face. “What’s wrong? Don’t you think it’ll be awesome if Tracy pays for everything?” I asked.

“Well.. I suppose, but, it well.. if Nick gets married to Tr-“ he started.

“Oh god, don’t let me think about THAT. A few dates with her and I’m already sick of her attitude. The Lady and Nick will break up. I know it.” I retorted.

“What if they don’t?” said Haz, his face anxious.

“Trust me, the only way for Tracy and Nick to get close to even getting engaged, is for the Lady to go on her knees and beg for his hand in marriage.” I scoffed. “And a Lady with that much so-called ‘class’ would never stoop as low as that. Literally!”

Haz laughed, and the mood was fun again.

"Tracy," started Nick. "Do you like Mel and Haz?"

He smiled, knowing that the answers were sure to be yes. "Everybody likes Mel an-" he thought.

"No." said Tracy. That single word snapped Nick out of his thinking. "I don't like them at all. Too rowdy and no class."

"But.." started Nick. "They're friendly and fun, and they're also my friends, so we would be hanging around with them a lot. Maybe you just need some getting used to."

But Tracy snorted, and held her head high. "Why should we bother with those swines?" she said with a Ladylike grace, yet, spiteful and not very classy.

"I bet," I said. "Nick and Tracy are agreeing that we're good friends to hang out with, right now."

I looked away, ashamed.

"And here we are, bad mouthing Tracy, and saying how they're probably going to break up." said Haz. "Oh, darn. It's already 8 'o clock. I have to get going now, I've got work tomorrow."

He got up, waved to me, and left.

Soon after, a waiter came by and handed me a check. Taking a glance at the 4 cups of coffee and garlic bread and french fries he ate, altogether costing 20 dollars,

"HAZRAIN JOE ARIF!" I yelled.

A Clone, not a Robot, and a Spoiled Heiress

The clone settled in on Derpy’s bed, looking around. It was her first time being alone since Vinyl had attached herself to her. She lay down on the bed, hugging the covers, as if they were her own,

letting her head hang off the side of the bed.

She spotted a photo album underneath the bed. She peered closer, causing her whole body to fall off the bed, her head colliding with the floor first.

“Ow..” she said as she righted herself, rubbing the soon to be bruise on her head.

She crouched down low, and crawled under the bed, her hooves dragging out the dust entrapped album. Brushing off most of the dust bunnies, she carefully opened the photo album, and looking at the yellowed, dog eared pages inside, the clone’s heart nearly lurched.

Inside were beautiful black and white pictures of Derpy as a little filly. As a clone, she never experienced any of this, unlike the original Derpy.

Seeing all the treasured memories, probably lost one fateful night, when it slipped down and stayed under her bed since.

Her first words were apparently “Muffeens!” Her first bike ride… Her first injury…Her first trip to the hospital…and her first cast.

The clone, seeing herself as a filly, though she knew she was just a copy of the original Derpy, she felt searing emotion, and a passion to keep this musty book of memories safe.

She placed the book on the desk, where it belonged.

Then, a knock disrupted her thoughts.

The clone froze. “Come in” she said.

Vinyl poked her head in. “I made dinner for you!” she grinned. “Come down and try it!” she reached out and grabbed her hoof, and dragged her into the hallway, and down to the dining room.

“I’ve managed not to burn everything this time!” she looked proudly at the dining table, where 3 dishes of delicious smelling food seemed to lull the clone’s empty stomach.

The clone thought back to what the original had said to her.

“Vinyl Scratch, the blue maned unicorn pony will be there, a stupid and annoying pony if I’ve ever met one.” she had said. “Take the first day to get used to everything. Then tomorrow I will show myself, causing confusion in the whole of the household.”

Then the clone thought back to the pictures in the photo album back in the room.

“The pony in the pictures seem so different than the one I saw yesterday.” She thought.

Then, with her stomach growling, she shrugged, and sat down to eat.

Meanwhile, back in the TARDIS maintenance room, the Doctor was watching the human world, trying to pinpoint where exactly these careless humans were, and what they were doing, so he could find the right time to go in and stop them.

“Silly.. fate-changing humans won’t stop moving around…” he muttered to himself, typing in another possible set of coordinates.” 14…23…”

“Doctor..” said a voice from behind him.

“What do you want, Vinyl?” replied the Doctor. He saw the reflection of the blue mane in one of his computer monitors. “I’m obviously not busy!” he said, sarcastically. “Go away.”

“I made dinner.” she said anyway. “Come down to eat with us. You know she doesn’t like to start dinner without you. And she’s starving.”

She nudged the agitated Doctor, encouraging him to take a break.

‘Fine.” mumbled Whooves, about to get up from his seat.

But the computer made a beeping sound, and the monitors started flashing red. The Doctor sat right back down. “Jolly good! I’ve found them!”

Vinyl swilled the chair he was sitting on to face her.

“DINNER. NOW.” she said. “Get up from this chair and go have a break. Now that the computer has locked on to their location, it won’t lose them again.”

Doctor turned around, looking longingly at the computer screen. But Vinyl had already given up, and jerked him off the chair, proceeding to drag him down the stairs to the dining room.

“NICK!” I yelled, as I crashed into the café, bursting to tell him that me and Haz had stalked his girlfriend’s background.

Haz was at work, so he wouldn’t be here to see Nick’s reaction with me.

“Tracy’s an heiress to a gold empire!”

Nick’s looked at me, startled.

“Mel!” he said, in a hushed tone. “Keep it down, please.”

He looked so anxious, I decided to pull up a chair, and wait for him to explain what was up.

“Alright…” he started. “You got me, Tracy’s not exactly… a normal girlfriend.”

“I knew that.” I said, with a smile.

Nick laughed. “I mean,  it’s not like we had some lovey dovey backstory as to how we met..” he continued. “I was hired by her father’s company as an accountant. Then… something happened, I sorta may have saved Tracy’s father’s life.”

“YOU SAVED HIS-“ I shrieked. But before I finished, he shushed me.

“Yes. It was purely incidental. But I got in his good graces.” He said, modestly. “So, one day, he promoted me.”

“To?” I asked. This was getting better and better.

“He promoted me to be Tracy’s bodyguard. But he wanted me to do it in secret. So he asked me to use the ‘boyfriend’ thing as a cover, so nobody would ask why.” he whispered, his voice getting softer and softer.

“Not even Tracy herself knows. And to make it official, in my contract, I have to marry her in 2 years time, so it make it seem real as possible, and so that I can stay on being her bodyguard until I’m dead.”

I gasped.

Flabbergasted, I opened my mouth, but no words came out.

Nick was going to have a practically arranged marriage.

“Why would you agree to that?!” I shouted, furious. “What if you met your real true love, and  you were tied down by a contract that stated your practically arranged marriage!”

“Practically. It's not a real marriage, its just for show. besides, you should see my paycheck, Mel.” he said. “I couldn’t just simply turn it down.”

“Bu..but..” I stammered. “Tracy’s a… she’s just..”

The thought of Nick and Tracy as a couple tickled her, but the thought of them together in holy matrimony... it didn’t exactly leave her in stitches.

“It’s either this or working at McDonalds.” he said. “I didn’t exactly have much of a choice then, and I don’t, not even now.”

“Just screw the job!” I shouted at him. “What about kids? Didn’t you tell me long ago, you were going to have a daughter and a son? You said you’d name your daughter after me…”

“That was then,” he replied. “This is now. A paying job is better than a wife and kids.”

“That’s horrible.” I said.

Nick sighed. “It’s life, Mel.” he said, his tone sounding unsettled. “Not everyone has it good like you. A normal job, lots of friends, a good pay, and a home to live in.”

I gasped once more as it dawned on me. “Nick… you don’t have a place to live in?” I sputtered. “You’ve been living with Tracy?”

“I’ve been jobless for years, Mel. I’m just.. fortunate.” he said. “I was a janitor in Mr. Heron’s company.”

“I…Nick.. I didn’t know..” I muttered. “We’re friends now, though… I can help you, if you quit this ridiculous job, you can stay at my place..and…”

“That’s also why I wanted to talk to you, Mel.” He said, coldly. “We can’t be friends anymore.”