The Adventures of Agnew In Equestria
Agnew In Equestria
In the oval office the head of an angry man lay on the wooden president's desk, and that man was Richard Nixon, whose head it was in a glass jar filled with light green see-through liquid.
"AROOOOOOOOO!" he howled.
A door opened from across the room, followed by his Vice President the headless body of Spiro Agnew walking in, whom wore his usual fancy grey suit and pants, with a white shirt and tie underneath and black leather shoes.
"Rrrrrrr?" growled Agnew inquisitively like Frankenstein.
"Quick you idiot! Close the blinds! The sun is setting!" Agnew made a small grunting sound as if to say 'Yes' then made his way over to the window behind Nixon and closed the blinds. "Thank you Agnew! I couldn't risk the moon shining on me."
With that Agnew walked out of the room, unfortunately just after he closed the door his whole body disappeared in a blinding flash of light.
Agnew reappeared with a flash of light in the middle of a medieval like town at night.
"Hurr?" he growled in bewilderment.
Before Agnew could get his bearings a pink, young pony like creature trotted towards him.
"Hi, I'm Pinkie Pie will you be my friend?"
"RRRRRRR!" he growled angrily at her while waving his arms in exasperation.
"GRRRR!" she snarled back at him with her herbivore teeth.
"ARRRGGGHHH!" she shouted imitating a stereotypical pirate.
"AARAAARRAHHH!" he roared.
"RARW!" she growled in his face,
"NGAAAAAAAGHHHGHHH!!" he roared.
Pinkie Pie backed away slightly.
"OK you win the growling competition. Will you be my friend now?" Agnew grunted in reply. "I'll take that as a yes. Anyway, since you seem only to growl and make other noises as a means of communication I was wondering if I could call you Growly?" Agnew growled affirmatively. "Then it is settled my friend, whatever your old name was, your new name from now on shall be known as Growly."
Agnew clapped his hands growling in excitement,
"Yay! That's the spirit Growly! I can't wait to show to my friend Twilight!
And so Agnew and Pinkie Pie made their way to Twilight's house.
The young purple unicorn Twilight Sparkle was fast asleep in her bed covered with a light blue blanket themed with stars, when suddenly there was knocking on the door waking both her and the baby purple dragon Spike near by in his basket.
"What... What's going on?" said Spike.
While the knocking continued Twilight looked at the clock on the wall telling her it was three o'clock in the morning.
"What kind of Pony is up at three a.m in the morning?!" she shouted.
The knocking still continued.
"I'm coming! Hold your horses!"
Twilight got of bed, walked downstairs and opened the front door.
"Pinkie Pie, what are you doing up at.... "Her eyes widen in shock upon noticing Agnew is standing next to her. "What in tartarus is that?!"
"He's my new friend Growly. Say hello to Twilight Growly."
Agnew growled cheerfully while waving his right hand at Twilight.
"How... how is it even possible?" she said in disbelief while staring wide eyed at Agnew.
"What do mean how is it even possible?"
"Pinkie Pie, that thing has no head!" she shouted.
"So?"
"So by any logical scientific basis it shouldn’t even be alive!"
Agnew growled sadly while Pinkie Pie gasped in shock at what Twilight had just said.
"Twilight! You've hurt poor Growlys feelings!" she hugged Agnew to cheer up. "There there Growly, don't listen to mean old Twilight."
"How does he even growl, hear or even mention function at all without a brain?"
Pinkie Pie stopped hugging Agnew, then turned to face Twilight to simply say.
"Magic."
"That's not the answer to everything and you know it!"
"Are you gonna let him in now?"
"I guess."
"Yay!" she took Agnew by the hand dragging him inside. "Come on Growly, I'll help you find a nice book to read."
Agnew clapped his hands excitedly,
"Wait Pinkie, I have some questions for Growly." Agnew growled inquisitively in response. "Can you see?" Agnew growled affirmatively. "Is that a yes?" he answered her question by growling affirmatively. "OK, can you read and write?" Agnew made another affirmative growl. "Good, now I can get some answers."
Her horn glowed with a purple aura to levitate a feather quill and a pile of sheets of paper to write, plus a wooden stool for Agnew to sit on and a wooden table.
"You know you could just walked him over there."
"I know Pinkie, but this is quicker."
'Where am I?' Agnew wrote down on the sheet.
"Silly belly you're in Equestria." answered Pinkie Pie.
Agnew growled in confusion.
"You can write in Equestrian, yet you have never heard of Equestria?" asked Twilight in bewilderment.
"Clearly he's from an another universe."
"Oh yeah right! That would mean the multiverse theory is true so literally anything could happen."
"Really, anything?! What if a sapient space lobster that travels the multiverse to ask you for sex?"
"I don't think--- Suddenly there was a blinding flash of light, followed by the appearance of red, humanoid, smelling of garbage and body odor, alien lobster that kinda looks like Cthulhu, whom wore a black tuxedo, black pants and light blue saddles. "What the?!" she shouted in shock.
"Hello Twilight Sparkle, will you have sex with me?"
"NO!" she screamed.
The lobster alien covered his face with his claws wailing in grief.
"Nopony wants to have sex with Zoidberg." he cried.
Agnew and Pinkie Pie rushed towards Zoidberg to comfort him by giving him a hug.
"Rrrrrrr!" Agnew growled softly.
"Aww, don't worry Zoidberg. I'm sure you'll find some Twilight Sparkle out there in the multiverse that has an alien crab fetish."
Twilight vomited on the floor in response to what Pinkie Pie was implying that one of her alternate selves would do with this disgusting lobster man.
"Oh can I can eat your vomit Twilight?" he asked sounding excited.
"NO!" she screamed.
"Awww!" he said sadly.
With that Zoidberg disappeared in a blinding flash of light.
