Derpy Times at Pinkie Pie's.
It was a bright and sunny, fall day in Ponyville and there wasn't a sad face to be found. Pinkie Pie was planning a party just because she could and she had everything ready but the food. Nothing seemed amazing as far as recipes went anymore. She'd used every one of them twice already. Pinkie wanted something new, something bold to add to the batter. After locking up her house, she pranced off to look for Zecora in her hut. The smell of Zecora's potions stretched through the whole forest. Today a bitter-sweet scent, lingered in the air. Pinkie could hear the different bottles and tools clinking around inside as she knocked her hoof lightly on Zecora's door.
"Pinkie my dear, what brings you here?" Zecora said in her deep fluid voice.
"Zecora, do you have any special ingredients that could make cake taste better than cake could ever taste?!"
"Just how many recipes did you try, Ms. Pie?"
"I tried ALL my recipes! TWICE!! I've even tried adding more fun into them!"
"Let me take a peek, I might have something that you seek."
Zecora rummaged through all her spices, flowers and herbs until she revealed a jug of strange smelling oil and a basket of mushrooms. Pinkie smelled it and wrinkled her nose in disgust.
"I can't use this Zecora! It smells super gross! No one puts mushrooms in cake!" Pinkie exclaimed.
"Mix this in the butter and the smell will fade away. Everypony will come for your cakes everyday. With the mushrooms, you make tea. Everypony will be filled with glee."
"Okie dokie then! Thanks Zecora!"
"The side effects I forgot to reveal. It will explain what everyone feels." Zecora said to herself after Pinkie left.
Not wasting any time, Pinkie Pie went straight to work on making her new cakes as soon as she got home. She pranced around the kitchen as her cakes were baking in the oven. After letting them cool and frosting them she brought them out to the party room. Twilight, Spike, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Fluttershy all came to Pinkie's random party. Spike went straight for the cake, being the fat little dragon he is. The girls sipped tea before going for the cake. Pinkie was so excited about her new recipes she just had to tell her friends. They just stared at her in confusion and then looked down at their empty glasses.
"Where's Rarity?" Spike asked slowly.
"She's at home finishing up her orders on some dresses" Twilight said.
"HOLY SHIT THERE'S A RAINBOOM IN MY CUP!!!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed with a mixture if delight and confusion.
"I don't see anything but an empty glass sugar cube." Applejack said with a bit of fear in her voice as she turned to look out of the window. "Its raining apples though."
"Pinkie Pie, did you even ask Zecora what those ingredients do--...Princess Celestia! When did you get here?!" Twilight said, walking over to Pinkie and bowing before her.
"Twi...light...? GUMMY DON'T EAT THE CAKE!" Pinkie Pie yelled, just catching Gummy devouring half of the cake and then diving into the punch bowl. Gummy took a big gulp of punch to wash the cake down and leaped from the punch bowl to the ceiling. In Gummy's mind he thought he was an international spy, crawling across the ceiling with easy past the deadly lasers protecting the door to the enemy boss. There was a thud as Rainbow Dash pinned down Applejack in a playful manner. Rainbow Dash was seeing a rainboom burst from everything that moved and it dazzled her. Applejack was still watching apples fall from the sky, thinking of all the money she could be making from selling apple pies, cider, fritters, everything. Spike was sprawled out on the floor, watching everything unfold but only seeing Rarity in place of all the other ponies. Fluttershy had herself backed into a corner for she was having a very bad trip. All the little woodland creatures were coming closer to her in an undead form.
Meanwhile back in reality, Rarity had just finished her last dress order with a sigh of happy relief.
" Opal, I'm going to Pinkie's party now. You behave yourself and don't touch those fabulous dresses I made."
Opal just yawned and stretched in reply as Rarity shut the door. While on the way to Pinkie Pie's house, Rarity noticed the crowd of happy people began to thin the further she went down the street. She picked up her pace a bit with a worried feeling riding her. She knocked first to be polite but no one answered. After knocking 3 separate times, Spike answered the door, his eyes bloodshot from the special ingredient in the cake.
"Rarity, I've been awaiting your arrival my sweet." Spike said as he leaned in to kiss her.
"Spike, where is everypony--....Oh my.." Rarity said, silently turning down Spike's show of affection and walking in on the chaos. Gummy was still on the ceiling somehow, Twilight was kissing "Princess Celestia" on her feet, Rainbow Dash and Applejack were no where to be found but a strange vocal noise came from another room in the house. Pinkie was absolutely still, just staring off into the universe her mind had traveled to. Fluttershy was in the corner crying and screaming at the invisible undead woodland creatures to stop and get away from her. Rarity walked over to what was left of the cake and took a slice of the half still intact. After finishing her cake, she took a sip of punch and gagged at the taste. Slowly everything came to a halt in Rarity's world. She felt numb and sluggish. Spike came over to her and stole a kiss. Rarity closed her eyes and kissed him back. Spike felt shocked but a swell of butterflies zoomed through his tummy. When she opened her eyes Rarity saw Prince Blueblood and blushed instantly. "Prince Blueblood" took Rarity into the kitchen and they immediately started the passion. After kissing for what seemed like forever, "Prince Blueblood" cleared the counter with one swipe and lifted Rarity up to sit down while he ravaged her. In reality, Spike just laid her down on the floor because he couldn't lift her but they knocked the flour onto the floor and rolled around in it as he ravaged her like a stallion.
Derpy Hooves thought she smelled muffins while passing by Pinkie Pie's house and went to go check. The door was wide open and everything was still in intoxicational chaos. Not paying any mind to the fact that there was an alligator on the ceiling, Derpy grabbed some cake and shoved it in her mouth with glee. After washing it down with some of the oddly colored punch, Derpy felt content. Gummy fell from the ceiling and onto Derpy's head. Derpy just sat there, still smiling and bug eyed. After a few hours passed, Derpy remained frozen in time as everyone came down from their adventure. Rarity let out a shrill scream from the kitchen as she realized she had been sexually pleasured by a baby dragon...and because she had flour and a sticky substance clumped all around her mane and tail. She ran all the way back home. Spike came out feeling embarrassed but had a shit eating grin on his face stretching from ear to ear. Fluttershy was still in the corner but hiding under her wings, sobbing softly, half in relief that the undead creatures are gone but feeling traumatized. Twilight and Pinkie were trying to comfort Fluttershy as best as they could manage. Rainbow Dash and Applejack were still asleep in another room, holding each other in a loving embrace. Gummy eventually jumped off Derpy's head to greet Pinkie but was stopped short by a screaming Fluttershy. No pony thought she'd be able to be around animals for a long, long time. After every pony else left, Applejack and Rainbow Dash emerged from the other room, both smiling and went back to Applejack's house. Pinkie Pie threw away the left over sweets and dumped the punch and remaining oil down the drain.
Derpy still sat there, unmovable. Pinkie Pie just left her there until she came back to reality and went to bed. When Twilight and Spike made it back home, Twilight couldn't bring herself to write to the Princess. What would she say? She didn't even know what happened or how. Spike just climbed in bed, still smiling. Back at Rarity's house, she was scrubbing every inch of herself. She wasn't sure how she'd face Spike ever again or if she even wanted to. Fluttershy was brought back home but only if her once beloved creatures vacated the area so she could have some peace.
The girls would never forget what happened and they made a promise to never tell anyone what happened. Except Rainbow Dash and Applejack.
