Wake up. See this. What do? - Part 2: Raise the Flag (comment driven story)

by RazortheAwesome

Rating: teen
Tags: Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Bon-Bon, Random, Adventure, Crossover, Human, Twilight Sparkle, Main 6, Lyra
Length: 427295

Part 2 of the epic story: Wake up. See this. What do? The adventures of the human Jason Morgan continue as he takes on the most dangerous adversary Equestria has ever seen by far, and as always, the question remains. What do you do?

This story is driven entirely by user comments. Whatever you say. I will make it happen.
(Now with new cover image by Blazewings thunder)

Part 2 of the epic comment driven story Wake up. See this. What do?
(This story continues directly where that one left off with all continuity preserved, so if you don't read that one first, you are going to be lost. This is still a self contained story, so you don't absolutely NEED to read that one first, but it is highly reccomended. Don't worry, it goes quickly.)

The adventures of the human known as Jason Morgan continue as he must take on the most dangerous adversary Equestria has ever faced by far, and soon finds himself locked in a conflict fighting for not only the inhabitants of his world, but for himself as well.

And as it has always been, the question remains:

What do you do?

Updated on Mondays.

Full Cast and Crew:
Author: RazortheAwesome
Co-author/Brainstorming: DaedaltheusXIV
Editor: Kiro0613
Title card artist: Blazewings thunder
Latin Translator: That Pegasus Over There

Authors note:
All of these chapters are written on the day they are posted. Also, I do read every single comment you all post. So yeah...

Sister stories:
Everfree Survival by Hrafn
Wake Up With A Hangover. Have Morning Wood. See This. What The Hell Do You Do? by RainbowBob

Published 2013-06-07 05:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-07-21 18:45:12 UTC

Welcome to Round 2 (Recap)

Welcome to round 2 fellow readers.

Lets have ourselves a little recap shall we.

Jason Morgan, a completely normal human from earth, somehow found himself waking up in Equestria with Twilight Sparkle standing over him and looking down at him with a lascivious grin on her face. It soon (and by soon, I mean instantly) became clear that Twilight Sparkle wanted to mate with him (do the deed, make sweet love to, ride him into the sunset or oblivion, you take your pick). Right then and there. Being a completely normal human, Jason did not want to have sex with a horse and instead, using his cunning wit and superior decision making skills (and by that we mean ripping up a copy of the pony stura) got himself out from under Twilight Sparkle and ran for his life. However, Twilight, not being one to give up so easily, chased after him.

After running into the market street and accidentally destroying Applejack's apple stand, he soon found asylum in the home of the lesbian pony couple Lyra and Bon Bon, who let him in because Lyra was a conspiracy nut who loved humans (Bon Bon was a little apprehensive about it at first). Soon afterwards, after Jason first did a dance that he would soon make famous in Ponyville, it was revealed that Lyra and Bon Bon were in fact, massive stoners, and, after seeing the peril that Jason was in, allowed him to smoke with them. However, such peace would not last, as Twilight (now looking like Solid Snake with a katana) and Applejack soon found Jason and burst through the door of Lyra and Bon Bon's house. Lyra and Bon Bon held off the two insane members of the mane 6 in an epic battle, allowing Jason to escape.

After some more running, he soon found himself at the carousel boutique, where he begged Rarity to let him in and hide. She agreed after seeing that her friend Twilight was, well, insane, and allowed Jason to stay with her for the night. She even made him a completely awesome suit free of charge. However, right as Jason went to sleep, it soon became clear that Rarity had her own agenda as when Jason woke up, he found himself tied to Rarity's bed. Apparently she wanted to have her way with him as well after she let herself get curious about him. After a DBZ abridged reference, Twilight burst into Rarity's bedroom and attacked her, demanding Jason back. Rarity however, threw him through the window and told him to run, which Jason did before he was suddenly knocked out cold.

During Twilight and Rarity's epic battle however, it was revealed that the reason Twilight wanted to have her way with Jason was so that she could create a being called a centaur because according to her, Nyarlathotep (yes, the Lovecraftian Outer God) was coming, and a centaur was the only being that could fight him (a claim later proven false, but we'll get to that). However, when questioned about it, Twilight refused to to say anymore and knocked Rarity into one of her walls.

Shortly afterwards, Jason woke up in Applejack's basement, where she did not try to have her way with him, and instead told him that she wanted him to work for her at Sweet Apple Acres for her in order to pay her back for destroying her apple stand. Since Jason didn't really have a counter argument for that (and because Big Macintosh was there and he frightened him a little since he was friggin huge), he agreed. In return, Applejack agreed to keep him safe from the now obviously insane Twilight. After a day of pulling carts of apples back and forth between the orchard and the barn, Jason was soon discovered by Rainbow Dash. In a panic, Jason (after luring her in close by hiding under a box, which she found) tackled her to the ground and pinned her there. After a quick interrogation, it was not only revealed that not only did Twilight ask Rainbow Dash to look for a human for her, but that Jason for whatever reason smelled nice. Really nice. Nice enough to give Rainbow Dash a wingboner.

Applejack soon returned however, and fought Rainbow Dash off in a moment of misunderstanding so that Jason could escape. After running through the apple orchard, temporarily hiding in the CMC clubhouse before being discovered and running away again, Jason soon found himself back in Ponyville and found his way to Sugarcube Coner, where Pinkie Pie made sweet sweet

PINKIE STOP THAT!!

"*giggle* sorry."

Sigh, I should probably mention that Pinkie kind of has complete mastery over the fourth wall since she can talk directly to me and the other commenters on occasion. Anyway. The moment Jason entered Sugarcube Corner, he was instantly knocked out again, and when he woke up again, he was strapped to a table where he was forced to watch Pinkie Pie reenact the "Sweet Transvestite" scene from The Rocky Horror Picture Show of all things. After Braeburn rode in through the wall on a motorcycle and started reenacting the "Hot Patootie/Bless My Soul" scene, Jason got free from the table and ran back outside. Pinkie Pie however, was very disappointed in the fact that her reenactments of scenes from the Rocky Horror Picture Show did not bring a smile to Jason's face.

After running some more, Jason soon found his way back to Lyra and Bon Bon's house, and while he did not find them, he found a note from them telling him to go to the Everfree Forest at the edge of Ponyville while also leaving him both a map and a compass so he could find it. Having no idea what the Everfree Forest was, Jason did not think twice about going there, as if there was anypony he could trust, he was Lyra and Bon Bon. On his way there however, he met a bear, and after her most certainly DID NOT faint (okay, he did, shut up), he was picked up by Fluttershy, who took him into her house and gave him some tea. After talking to her for a little while and explaining what happened to him, she felt sorry for him and agreed to let him stay the night and keep him safe from Twilight. Some time in the middle of the night however, Jason woke up to find Fluttershy in bed with him, with her hooves around him like she was hugging him. After accidentally waking her up, she politely asked Jason he she could hold him down against his will.

All was not lost however, as Lyra and Bon Bon showed up and knocked out Fluttershy before she could do anything. The two of them, along with their friends Minuette and Berry Punch (short story short, they got knocked into their house at the end of their fight with Applejack and Twilight and had a foursome so they are friends now), took Jason through the Everfree Forest and to a giant rock at the edge of a mountain somewhere. Behind the giant rock was a cave with a little oasis in it with a campsite for all of them set up. This is where Lyra and Bon Bon were bringing Jason to hide here until this all blowed over. However, it was also reveled here that Jason had a "heat spell" cast on him by Twilight that made every mare in his immediate vicinity go into heat whenever they were around him, thus explaining why every mare he met wanted to make sweet love to him, and why after their epic pony battles, they had all felt a little "in the mood" as it were. The only reason that Lyra, Bon Bon, and indeed Minuette and Berry Punch, aren't wanting to jump on Jason is because they are all lesbians, so they have no real desire for him at all.

From here, the story followed the insane adventures of Twilight Sparkle as she attempted to find Jason and mate with him. After some insanity, meeting the ghost of King Sombra (yes, that happened), and one fight in the Everfree Forest with Fluttershy, Twilight finally found the cave that Jason had been hiding in. Jason, being a man, decided to put away his fears and confront Twilight Sparkle with a special knife given to him by Lyra. After tricking Twilight into letting her guard down, Twilight was suddenly ambushed by all of her friends, who pinned her down while Spike got a magic restraining horn on her and Rarity got a straight jacket on her, thus effectively restraining her. After some questioning, Jason found out that after they had all seen how insane their friend was getting, they all decided to step in and help you before either of you got hurt, and since the heat spell wore off, none of them have any interest in you, not even Rarity.

Twilight, naturally in her insanity, yells at all of them and says that she needs to have her way with Jason so that she could produce a Centaur. However, Lyra, who had just come out of the cave, informs Twilight that Centaurs are not magical and had absolutely no potential for magic. While they were a proud race of warriors, really were no different than humans, thus making everything that Twilight tried to do, entirely pointless. After some more short discussion, Jason walks back through the forest back to Lyra and Bon Bon's home where he goes to sleep.

However, elsewhere, a pony going by the name of Risen Flag is elected to the position of a Canterlot Senator with the help of Trixie, whom he had saved from getting raped in an alleyway a few months prior. After getting elected, he makes a speech to a crowd of ponies outside the Canterlot Palace saying "welcome to a brave new world."

Back in Ponyville, Jason wakes up for the day and, after getting his suit and some more human clothes back from Rarity and an invitation for his "Welcome to Ponyville" party from Pinkie Pie (because she is Pinkie Pie she just does that), he heads back to Sweet Apple Acres to do some more work there, since he still has a debt to pay to her for destroying her Apple Stand. After almost nearly become aware of the commenters and the fact that he is in a story, he arrives to find that Applejack is suddenly being nice to him, whereas before she was always kind of angry at him for completely understandable reasons. This is only further cemented when he falls and knocks his head into a tree and Applejack shows genuine concern for him. This also gains him a "ghost Pinkie Pie" that constantly follows him around even when Pinkie Pie is not there. While he is chopping some wood, Applejack comes over and apologizes to him for making him work, since its unfair to him given all that happened, and that he doesn't have to work anymore if he doesn't want to.

Jason, being the smooth one that he is, simply hugs Applejack and says that he forgives her. After they share a moment, Applebloom comes back and meets him too, and while that is happening, off in the trees, Jason momentarily sees something that looks like Slenderpony, but he just chalks that up to his imagination since it couldn't have been him. After he leaves, and is given a fresh Apple Pie for his efforts, Jason goes back to Lyra and Bon Bon's house to get ready for his Welcome to Ponyville Party.

At said party, all kinds of fun is had, Jason meets all kinds of new ponies including Derpy and her husband Time Turner, and even brings the dance known as "The Dinosaur" to the population of Ponyville, as they all do it with him when the song "Walk the Dinosaur" plays. The following morning, with surprisingly no hangover. Spike comes over to talk to Jason. Apparently, Twilight had fallen into depression because of everything that happened, and while Spike did call Princess Celestia to see Twilight, asked Jason if he would be willing to try and speak to her. Reluctantly, Jason agrees, provided that he is made safe and that his pony friends (and the rest of the mane six) are around just in case something happens. Spike agrees to this and leaves to get everything prepared.

After a quick tour of Ponyville from Lyra and Bon Bon, and a suddenly mane street musical in which the song "Safety Dance" is sung by Jason, Pinkie Pie, and the rest of Ponyville, Jason eventually meets with Twilight in her library. Lyra, Bon Bon, Spike, and all the rest of the Mane 6 are watching just in case. When he sees Twilight though, he sees that she has fallen into deep depression, as she has not been eating or sleeping for what seems like days, and she won't even talk to him when he says anything. She won't even eat the dinner Spike prepared for them when Jason arrived.

While Jason has every reason to hate her, he cannot stand to see her like this, and like he did with Applejack, he hugs Twilight and forgives her. At that point, Twilight breaks down and cries, saying that she is sorry to Jason over and over again. After putting her to bed, Jason leaves with Lyra and Bon Bon, but not before hearing from Spike that Princess Celestia wants to see him too, since he is at the center of all of this. Jason agrees to that and leaves with Lyra and Bon Bon back to their house, where they all smoke to celebrate their victory.

The next morning, some royal guards show up at Lyra and Bon Bon's door to inform Jason that Celestia is there and waiting for him. After a freakout which proves to be largely unnecessary, Jason goes to meet Celestia, who trolls him the first chance she gets and laughs at it. From there, Jason, Twilight, and Celestia all get on a carriage and fly back to Canterlot, Twilight still sleepy from the night before.

What follows is an epic troll off between Celestia and Jason as they try to out troll each other in the guise of simple conversation between them. Right as they reach Canterlot however, they run into Risen Flag of all ponies, who greets them politely, however, he stops when he sees Jason. While he still tries to be polite, it is obvious that he cannot stand to look at him. Celestia doesn't notice this. Twilight however, begins freaking out when she sees him as if she has seen the most horrifying thing in her life. Before she can say anything however, she falls asleep again, and Jason and Celestia take her back to a room in the palace where she can sleep.

Celestia then gives Jason a grand tour of the palace, during which the epic troll off between the two continues. Along the way they meet Princess Luna, who disapproves of her sisters antics. She leaves them once they get to the palace library, where she goes into the comic books section and starts reading. Apparently Luna likes comic books.

After that, Jason and Celestia go to the throne room to discuss important matters, namely, getting Jason back home. It is here that Celestia reveals that she cannot send Jason back home, as due to the nature of the multiverse, and that there are multiple universes with humans, she would not know where to send him back to, and that is why they need Twilight. Since she pulled Jason from somewhere in the multiverse, she would know where to send him back to. She also reveals the history of the centaurs. Namely that humans and ponies have met before, and that the centaurs are the result of mixed breeding between the two. To make a long story short, the humans left Equestira and the Centaurs were all exterminated when they tried to usurp the throne of Equestria for themselves, killing everyone they saw along the way.

After Celestia shows Jason part of the royal treasure vault, in which she reveals that she still has some human relics, including the legendary sword Excalibur, Jason leaves to go back to Ponyville, since he still has business there.

However, elsewhere in the palace, Risen Flag returns to his office, where he becomes enraged that a human has found his way to Equestria. Here it is revealed that Risen Flag is in fact, Nyarlathotep himself, and that he and all the others that he is in league with, namely Trixie, Queen Chrysalis, Joseph Curwen (from the case of Charles Dexter Ward), Slenderpony, Haypennywise, and even the newly resurrected King Sombra, are all planning a takeover of Equestira. Flag orders Jason to be killed, and sends Haypennywise to deal with it, while he gives Queen Chrysalis an unknown assignment. After this, they all leave and leave him and Trixie alone in his office together.

Elsewhere in Las Pegasus however, the recently released Screwball, looks upon a portrait of Risen Flag and says "My life for you." before returning back to work, which is making guns and ammunition. Yes, Flag is making guns in Equestria.

And that is that.

Did we mention that Jason also has the ability to channel the abilities of two fictional characters at any given time? Because he does. Also he has a ghost Pinkie Pie following him around at all times.

"You already mentioned that."

Sorry, thanks Pinkie.

"*giggles* No problem."

And yeah, also get used to Pinkie Pie here, she does that on occasion.

But yeah.

For more detailed descriptions of what happened, please see the original story:

Wake up. See this. What do?

Now, shall we begin.

Preparations for what's to come

-In orbit far above Equestria-

*reads recap

"So that's everything we know?"

"Yes, from what we've gathered."

"Thank you SwimmingDalek."

"Commander."

"What is it, Dalek Antares?"

"Incoming transmission from the Appaloosan plains."

"If you two gentlemen will excuse me now."

*Leaves

"Sir. I know what you are thinking, and we cannot go through with it."

"Why not Spock?"

"Prime directive states-"

"I know what the prime directive states Spock, so don't remind me."

*From the coms

"Captain!"

"What is it Scotty?"

"Can't ya do something about these bloody trashcans!? They won't stop messin with the Enterprise!"

"Just let them do what they have to Scotty. Their tech is useful and we're probably gonna need it if this whole thing goes south."

"Sir!"

"That's an order Scotty!"

"Captain."

"What is it, Mr. Sulu?"

"The ship is prepped and ready when you are."

"Thank you, Mr. Sulu."

*Coms off

"Sir, there is no possible way we can go down to the planet without attracting attention to ourselves. We do not have the equipment necessary to-"

"Then what do you suggest we do Spock? This planet's in danger and its survival depends entirely on him. We can't just let him get killed!"

*Dalek Regulus comes in

"If I may. What you say is not entirely accurate."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Which part?"

-Elsewhere on the ship-

"This tech is f*cking amazing!"

"Yeah man, tell me about it. Thank Registered Anonymous for this."

"Hey, come over here for a second!"

"What is it?"

"I'm not sure, this thing keeps glitching and-"

*KKKKKKKKKKRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR (white noise)

*Ends, everything goes back to normal.

"Huh... that was weird."

"Hmm... whatever it was, it's gone now. Get back to work."

"Yes sir."

Author's Note

Slenderpony picture drawn by 2kaze on deviantart.

SwimmingDalek98, GordonFreebrony, Registered Anonymous, and Grey Rebl, I trust you all know what to do.

We Begin Again

Wake up. See this. What Do you do? - Raise the Flag

by RazortheAwesome

DISCLAIMER: This is a non-profit fanbased work of prose. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is the property of Hasbro, and the reinvention of Lauren Faust. No copyright infringement is intended, please support the official release.

As you start to wake up several realizations come to you. First off, you aren’t in your bed anymore. The reason for this is probably because you haven't slept in your bed for well over a while now, and probably because you were on the floor instead of on Lyra and Bon Bon's couch. Crap, and you were having such a good night sleep too.

You are Jason Morgon, human recently trapped in Equestria and stuck here until Twilight Sparkle helps the Princess figure out how and where to send you back to. For now though, you are staying with Lyra and Bon Bon, since they let you live in their house while you are here.

Slowly, as sleep hasn't entirely left you yet, you stand back up and stretch your arms out. Sleeping on the floor did wonders for you (actually, it didn't do anything, you didn't even realize that you were sleeping on the floor until you woke up). You let out a rather loud yawn as you feel your stomach grumble. You're also not wearing anything, as is per usual when you go to sleep.

You look at the time to see that it is 7:00 am even. Lyra and Bon Bon aren't up yet. You probably should get some breakfast, and then you should probably head back to Sweet Apple Acres to help out Applejack. Especially since you've been skipping out for the past few days with her one day off, and then going to Canterlot with Princess Celestia and Twilight. So yeah, you definitely need to go do that.

Other than that, nothing is out of the ordinary here given your circumstances. You're waking up in Lyra and Bon Bon's house, no insane purple unicorns are chasing you or trying to have their way with you to give birth to some centaur for reasons that you don't completely understand, and nothing big at all is planned for today. All seems to be right in this world right now.

You have made it through one adventure and survived. Today is a brand new day.

What do you do?

Stats:

Character status: Perfect, nothing is wrong with you.
Items in possession: None, you aren't wearing any clothes
Items in possession by extension since they are yours: Lyra's orichalcum knife, compass, crayons, notepad, pen, some bits
Twilight Sparkle Status: She is in Canterlot, so she won't be bothering you.

Fictional characters you are currently channeling:

Character slot 1: Empty
Character slot 2: Empty
********* slot 3: Ability Locked

It is a new story, so you are starting fresh on the fictional characters you are channeling. Meaning that you must pick new ones.

Remember, picking fictional characters to channel requires multiple people to agree on the same character, either by up voting the comments that suggest these characters or by having multiple people suggest the same character. Basically, multiple people have to agree on the same character for it to take effect.

Author's Note

And thus, we begin again.

Lets see what you all can do. :pinkiehappy:

"YAY We're beginning again!!!"

That we are Pinkie... that we are.

Oh, and make sure to read the authors notes in the chapters if there are any. Important information may often be found in them. So yeah...

Contest Winners comments left:
Blazewings thunder: 4
Masterweaver: 2
somepony1: 1

Status: Edited
(This is gonna be a new feature that I'm gonna put in the chapters to show when I've made edits based on the grammar reports I get from my editor Kiro0613. Basically, when I get the edits I need to make back from him, this section will say "edited" to show that whatever little grammar and other kinds of mistakes there were before have been fixed.)

Equestrian Daily Routine

Channel Dovahkiin, you wanna eat like a nord! :flutterrage:

After you do that proceed to channel both your inner Dohvakin cause you are one hungry mutha fucka!

channel dovaking FUS RUH DAH :flutterrage:

Dohvakin, channel Dohvakin.

a.k.a. Dragon Born

Dovahkiin and King Arthur

1.) inner Dovahkiin and Solid Snake

As... As awesome as it would be to channel your inner Dovahkiin (or Dragonborn if you prefer), you think that doing so would not necessarily be a good idea, and it really wouldn't be.

There are a few reasons for this.

1.) Channeling fictional characters doesn't actually give you their abilities or powers, it just makes you instinctively react to situations and overcome problems like they would. The best example of this was when Pinkie Pie had you tied to a table in Sugarcube Corner. At the time, you were channeling Alex Louis Armstrong and tried to use your awesome muscles and strength to try and break the table you were tired to. Since you WERE NOT Alex Louis Armstrong however, that worked about as well as you would expect (the table didn't even budge). Just because you were channeling Alex Louis Armstrong doesn't mean you got his incredibly strength. At the end of the day, you are still Jason Morgan.

2.) Since The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim is an RPG, the Dovahkiin is kind of a non character. He has no unique personality or set character traits, or even appearance, as every aspect of that is defined by the player. So really, the character of the Dovahkiin only is who the player wants him to be. He's not like Solid Snake where he has a defined personality and set of skills.

3.) The only really unique trait you would get out of channeling the Dovahkiin would be the dragon voice, but since we already established that YOU DO NOT GET THE POWERS OF THE CHARACTERS YOU CHANNEL, you wouldn't be able to do the voice even if you wanted to while channeling him. Which is a shame cause it would be awesome if you could go around FUS RO DAH'ing people... or ponies in this case.

So yeah. As awesome as it would be if it worked that way, you're not going to channel the Dovahkiin.

Character slot 1: the 10th Doctor pre-rose losing

Character slot 2: King Aurthur (Monty python and the holy grail)

Channel The Doctor and King Arthur

Channel dr who then find out what you can about risen flag something about him is still bothering you.

Channel the Doctor and King Arthur.

Character Slot 1: The Doctor

Dovahkiin and King Arthur

Step 5:Channel King Arthur (Monty Python)

Since channeling the Dragonborn is out. You decide to put The Doctor back into your first character slot.

Character slot 1: The Doctor

His intelligence, problem solving skills, and ability to deal with aliens species has served you well in the past. Plus, it helped you out in other ways you didn't expect. You're not entirely sure, but you think you might have invented the banana daiquiri here in Equestria. So with that logic, if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Also since you didn't specify which doctor you wanted, then by default you go with the latest doctor, which has the combined memories and experiences of all of them. So yeah, that should help you out quite a bit.

For your second character option, you decide to go with the great king of England himself, King Arthur.

Character slot 2: King Arthur

You were really inspired when you saw his sword in Celestia's vault, so you decide to give channeling him a try. Other than his amazing leadership skills and the ability to use that sword (which is still in Celestia's treasure vault by the way), you're not quite sure what this will give you, but hey, it might turn out to be a good choice.

Also since you don't specify which iteration of King Arthur you want, you're not sure what you'll get, but its not like it could go wrong. Hell, it might even let you channel ALL of them. Which is most likely the case.

So, with that done you're set with.

Character slot 1: The Doctor

Character slot 2: King Arthur

********* slot 3: *Ability locked*

You know, ever since you've started using this "fictional character channeling" system, you can't help but wonder exactly how in the bloody hell it works. Sure, you know it doesn't give you the abilities of the character, but like with The Doctor loophole, you've found ways to exploit it before, or just even ignore it completely in some cases.

So yeah, you keep wondering how the hell this even works.

Put on your clothes. Ever since you ended up in Equestria, you've never felt completely safe without clothes.

Next, do your usual morning thing; Make breakfast, coffee, etc.

Now that you're fed and caffeinated, there's one question you have to ask: Can you channel ponies? They're fictional from your point of view, but you may be unable to.

Well first of all get dressed, just because the locals don't constantly wear clothes doesn't mean you shouldn't.
With that done, cook some scrambled eggs to get a little protein in your diet, you've had nothing but veggies and fruits and pastries for God knows how long thanks to these herbivores.

Eggs are the only remotely meaty thing they got (Which they do have because how else would they make cakes and other sweets ?)

Put on some god forsaken pants,

Step one: Get dressed

have breakfast.

Get dressed.

Make breakfast for you, Bon Bon, and Lyra.

Get Dressed

Make breakfast for three

Put on some pants

Get breakfast

First step: Get breakfast.

Step 1: Get dressed.
Step 2: Breakfast!

You decide that such questions are better pondered after (or during probably) some breakfast. So, with that in mind, you get up off of Lyra and Bon Bon's couch and throw on some pants. Hey, just because these ponies go around naked all the time doesn't mean you're going to. Plus, given all that's happened, you've never really felt safe without clothes. Either way though, you have pants on now.

You then make your way over to the kitchen, and THE ABSOLUTE FIRST thing that you do is make some coffee. You're not the only one who drinks it in this house. Once that is done you head over to the fridge and look inside. You kind of have to admit, you've been kind of missing the taste of meat (and when you get back home the first thing you're gonna do is grab a cheeseburger somewhere) since you got here. Not that you're complaining, but still, you miss it, and as herbivores, they don't have any.

You do notice that they have some eggs however, which you thought was strange at first, but then again, they do make things like cakes, cookies, and waffles, and other things that do require eggs, so you guess it does make some sense. Then again, with them being herbivores, you're not sure if they ever tried to eat the eggs themselves. You're not even sure what they'll think of you for doing that.

You decide not to let that worry you. You've already told them that you eat meat anyway (and they were okay with it so long as you didn't eat ponies, which you don't... not in any way...), so its not like they will be completely shocked. Lyra actually found it kind of fascinating that you eat meat for some reason.

Anyway, you take out a couple of eggs and start scrambling them as the coffee finishes. You also throw in some toast while you're at it. As you're busy making eggs, your mind goes back to your fictional character system.

Can you channel ponies? They're fictional from your point of view, but you may be unable to.

One of the things you wonder about is whether or not you can channel ponies. They aren't exactly fictional since you are living right here in a world with them currently, but they are kind of fictional in your point of view. Actually, that point is kind of hard to argue when you can physically touch you. As well as... do other things... with you...

Plus, it's not like any of the ponies you've met have useful skills that you can use anyway.

I wonder what happens if you channel a character in both slots.......

You also start to wonder what would happen if you channeled the same character in both slots. You suppose that would be rather pointless, since all you would basically be doing is channeling the same abilities twice, which does nothing really. Part of you thinks that you might become that character, but you know that's impossible. At the end of the day, you are still Jason Morgan, and you don't really want to be anyone else.

Then there is that third character slot...

Ask Ghost Pinkie Pie how to unlock third fictional character slot.

["I'll ascend,

And venture forth,

And drop the pulse,

Elysium."](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VIyEcjgCfuE)

The Ghost of Pinkie Pie suddenly sings out of nowhere. Actually, can you really call her a ghost, cause Pinkie Pie is still around and...

["Hail the days,

Of fire and thunder,

Pinkie shooting,

Lightning bombs."](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VIyEcjgCfuE)

Ah screw it, you'll never get an answer to that. Although, she is only a figment of your imagination, something that exists in the dark recesses of your mind. If that's the case then... Well, it can't hurt to ask.

["Light us all up,

Pinkamena,

Blasting o-."](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VIyEcjgCfuE)

"Hey, Pinkie," you say to her, interrupting your song. She immediately stops singing and looks straight at you.

"Yes, Jason."

"You wouldn't happen to know how to unlock that third fictional character slot would you?" You know that asking her this is a long shot, but what the hell. She just stares at you blankly for a few moments, not moving or blinking. She's just a floating head of Pinkie Pie looking at you with those big blue eyes. After a few moments, she closes her eyes and puts on her classic "Pinkie smile" as she answers your question.

"I have no idea," she says.

"Figures," you say in response. Somehow you knew that was what she was gonna say. You don't let it bother you though and return to your eggs as ghost Pinkie Pie returns to her singing.

After a few minutes, you serve yourself some nice scrambled eggs, toast, and coffee. You had to admit, they were quite good. Just as you start eating, you watch Lyra walk into the kitchen.

Laugh at Lyra's 'bed-mane'

2.) laugh at Lyra's bed-mane

"Morning, Jason," Lyra says as she walks in sounding like a zombie. Or like a pony whose just barely woken up. Either one works.

"Morning... Lyra," you kindly say in response. It takes all of your considerable willpower to resist laughing at Lyra's bed hair... mane.... whatever, you're still not entirely used to that. It wasn't the bed mane itself that got you, no not at all. You've seen Lyra wake up with bed manes before, but this.... there was only one possible way she could have gotten a bed mane like this.

While under normal circumstances you would not breech the subject, but since you know Lyra would if your positions were reversed.

"So..." you say to her while trying to hold back laughing, and barely failing. Lyra just walks over and serves herself some coffee. "How was Bon Bon last night?" Lyra doesn't answer, instead, she plops herself down at the kitchen table, drinks her coffee, and asks you a question as she looks right at your food.

"Um... what are you eating?" At that you stop trying to hold back laughter, cause it's all just left you. Turns out you were right. Ponies have never seen eggs prepared like this.

-One breakfast and slightly awkward conversation later-

Step one: Get dressed

Also be happy. I mean dang it man, no one's out to get you that you know of, Twilight's in Canterlot with the Princess, you're crashing with friends, just be happy!

Now get up and Walk the Dinosaur! Take a shower and sing while you do so! Get dressed and go down to breakfast with a spring in your step! Then cheerfully go out to help Applejack on the farm because dang it life is good and you're safe as can be!

As far as you know.

Go get ready, maybe have a shower, get some clothes on

Ok first off take a shower it will add +25 to your current awareness of your surroundings.

Put on some pants

Do the safety dance

Second Step: Take shower.
Third Step: Get dressed.
Fourth Step: Get to work you you lazy idjit. (and yes, I intentionally spelled Idiot wrong)

Step 3: Equipment check, make sure you have your knife!

After breakfast and a short conversation with Lyra in which you had to explain to her what scrambled eggs were and how you prepared them (also that this is common for humans), you head upstairs to take a shower, passing Bon Bon who is coming downstairs with a bed mane just as bad as Lyra's as you do.

Your shower goes really quick, and oddly enough, you felt the urge to sing the Safety Dance as you did. You have absolutely no idea why. Really, you are just incredibly happy. No one's out to get you anymore, Twilight is in Canterlot hopefully trying to get you home, and you're crashing with some awesome friends. You've got nothing to worry about at all. It was one hell of an adventure you went through, but by the beards of Odin and Zeus you made it out all right.

After your shower you get your actual work clothes on. Your worker jeans, your red shirt, and your workman's boots of course. After that, you run an equipment check, just to make sure you have everything.

Items in your possession:

-Knife (secured nicely in a holster around your belt)

-Compass

-Notepad and pen

-Crayons

-Some spare bits from Lyra

Yeah, you are pretty sure that is everything. You should be good to go.

Just as you walk downstairs however...

"HE ATE WHAT!!!???" You hear Bon Bon shout from the kitchen.

"It's a human thing," you hear Lyra respond. "Humans are omnivores, remember? They don't just eat plants like we do." Right as you pass by the kitchen, Bon Bon suddenly turns to look at you, and within an instant, she is right in front of you.

"Jason, did you really fry up some raw eggs and eat them?"

"Yeah," you reply while trying not to laugh at her obvious 'bed mane,' "Is that a problem?"

"Well, no," Bon Bon replies, albiet a bit nervously, as was her want. "But it's just um... umm.... weird. It's not really something that I think ponies would have ever tried to do." You suppose you can kind of understand that.

"Will it be a problem if I do that every once in a while?" you ask her just to be safe.

"Well... no..." she replies. "But it's..."

"Oh lighten up Bonnie," Lyra says as she walks over and puts her hoof around Bon Bon's neck. "It's not that bad. Actually, I think I might wanna try some now." You watch as all the color from Bon Bon's face drains instantly upon hearing that.

"Anyway," you say to the two of them in an effort to get out of this awkward situation as quickly as possible. "I'm gonna head over to Sweet Apple Acres. I still got work to do there after all. I'll see you guys later."

"Bye, Jason," Lyra says to you. Bon Bon just remains silent.

"Bye Lyra, Bye Bon Bon," you say as you walk out the door and close it behind you.

You walk outside and take in a HUGE breath of fresh air. Every time you walk out into Ponyville you still can't quite believe just how nice it is. The sky is blue, there aren't any clouds in it, the sun is shining. It is an absolutely beautiful day.

You've still got a bit of time before you have to be at Sweet Apple Acres. You can either go straight there or walk around for a little bit. But if you do that, you have to decide where to do (and what ponies you'll meet).

So... it's a brand new day.

What do you do?

-Meanwhile, in orbit far above Equestria-

Quick authors note:

This is a message for SwimingDalek98, Gordon Freebrony, Registered Anonymous, Grey Rebl, and anyone who may decide to join them in what they are doing. I've done some thinking about this and this is how this is going to work. Since you all are officially part of the story now, anything that you say or talk about in the comments isn't going to apply unless I say so. Basically, they will work like regular comments. For example, when I showed Slenderman in the computers and one of you says something like "Find Slenderman" Unless I specifically use the comment "Find Slenderman" in the story, then it won't apply. Basically, you can only find Slenderman if I allow the comment and use it. Your conversations, plans, and everything else basically work the same as regular comments now, and they will only apply to the story if I say they do. Sorry it has to work this way, but I have to be fair to the story and everyone else. So yeah... Plus, if I let you solve everything like this. It would be too easy. :D

Also if there is no section of the story featuring your characters, I will just post which of your comments will apply in future chapters. If I don't post anything relating to you guys, then just assume that none of your comments were accepted (which is unlikely but yeah...). Again, sorry it has to work this way but yeah.

"So, tell me again, what is this thing exactly?"

"It is a perception filter. It influences the-"

"Oh for god's sake just let me explain it. Seriously, it's hard to listen to you guys sometimes."

Commander of the Reformed Dalek Empire: Swimming Dalek

Name: Swimming Dalek (code name)
Short Description: Likes swimming (doi), Italian food (seriously, don't get between me and a pasta.... you will regret it), and space (space, space, I like space... I'M IN SPACE!)
Weapon of Choice: When the Reformed Dalek Empire isn't backing me up, I use a pair of Wild West-style dueling pistols which have ammo lined with spikes, embedding them in enemy flesh
Gear: Dalekanium-based armor (+ 800 to defense)
Heavy coat (+ 50 to Intimidation)
iPod with earbuds shaped like tiny little Daleks ships (+ 700 to I-don't-give-a-fuck-what-you're-talking-about)
Deck of Cards (- 80 to Boredom)
Traits: ADHD (able to process information faster, and formulate plan of attack faster, and annoy others in social situations)
Glutton (eats food surprisingly quick)
Sarcasm King (insults form better)
Special Perk: Empathy (form alliances and friends faster)

"It's called a perception filter. It doesn't change your actual appearance, but it will influence the brainwaves of whomever or whatever is looking at you so that you will appear however you want to them. For example." *tinkers with the device a little* "See?"

"Oh my god... you're actually a-"

"A pony, yes I know." *turns device off* "This one is set to make you appear as if you are ponies. You won't actually turn into ponies, but whomever is looking at you will see you as one. Here you try it." *Gives it to him.*

*Turns it on* "Well Spock, how do I look?"

"It would appear that Commander Swimming Dalek's description of the device's function was accurate captain. In my eyes, and I assume in Commander Dalek's eyes as well, you now appear as if you are a member of the native species of the planet below us. In other words, you appear as if you are a pony."

*One of the hackers and a scientist dalek approach

"Commander. We have integrated the AI we have received from-"

"We took the AI those ponies from Appaloosa sent us and integrate it into the ships computers."

Artificial Intelligence Program of the Appaloosa Intelligence Agency

Name: Type2 - OV, AKA Borealis Antanana
Gear and Weapons: Varies from the Machinery the AI possesses. ( N/A)
Traits: Humor and Curiosity Functions ( +50 Friendship, +40 Intelligence). Clarity Amidst the Battle ( +100 Intelligence, +75 Support, designed to give info even in the heat of battle). Artificial Ghost ( Physical Attacks or Elements would not be effective) Creative Inventor ( Could make anything out of anything).
Special Perk: After numerous encounters with Slenderpony, and careful analysis, the AI is able to move around in the form of an EM wave (Move through walls and possess machines, ect).

"My systems are on and fully functional. The Appaloosan Intelligence Agency is at your command."

"Thank you."

*Someone else pops his head out from behind some machinery in the distance.

"I wonder what's in here?"

Leader of the human hacker team: Registered Anonymous

Name: Registered Anonymous
Short Description: Likes being... anonymous. Likes bashing things across the face with a nine iron. Can bake cookies like a bawse.
Weapon of Choice: A magical nine iron that was forged by golf dwarves of the second era of the internet.
Gear: Wide brimmed hat (+10 to defense)

Anonymous Mask ( +100 to defense, +75 to attack, +50 to Agility, Allows wearer to dodge most melee attacks at a 25% success rate per attack)

Trench Coat (+20 to defense)

Nokia Cellphone Bullet Proof Suit (Reduces all incoming damage by 65%)

Military Grade Gloves (+35 to defense, +10 to attack)

Military Grade Boots (+40 to defense, +5 to attack, +25 to agility)
Traits: Relentless Determination (+100 to will power)
Hard to Keep a Good Man Down ( 85% chance of getting back up instantly if knocked down or defeated)
Ain't Afraid of Nuthin' (+100 to courage)
Special Perk: Anonymous Mindset (+1000 to Unpredictability)

"*sigh* Sorry Swimming, Registered Anonymous is... well, he's nuts."

"I can see that."

"Yeah, he's good at what he does, but he's just unpredictable sometimes."

"WHERE ARE YOU!!??" *runs away*

"Right now he things there is something wrong with our computers and he's *inhales* 'Trying to find it so he can talk with it over some cookies and tea'."

"I see. Is there anything wrong with your systems?"

"No, not that we can find. Everything is working as it should, and with the Appaloosan AI we should be able to run system checks and establish communications much faster and more efficiently."

"All right, well have it run a diagnostics check just to make sure. We'll run a sweep through out own systems as well."

"All right, sounds good."

"Captain, if you don't-"

"I understand, sir."

*Kirk and Spock turn to leave while Swimming Dalek leaves with the hacker and Scientist class Dalek*

"Captain, if we are going to organize an away team then might I advise that we do not bring any more high tech equipment other than what we need onto the planet. The residents of this planet are-"

"I know Spock, and I agree with you. We won't bring anything other than what we need. If we run into any problems we can just have Scotty beam us back up to the ship. Right now though, you and I have to have a talk with someone important."

"Who would that be sir?"

"The fourth member of our away team."

-A few minutes later, at the Enterprise holding cells-

*Kirk and Spock walk in*

"You..."

*Person in cell turns to look at them*

(Former) Crew member of the USS Enterprise: Gordon Freebrony

Name (and Title) Evolved Ensign Gordon Freebrony of the Starship Enterprise.
Short description: Once ensign, now one-man-army, Gordon Freebrony is still a member of Starfleet, albeit he has become a lone wolf. The Enterprise will lend him and the rest of the army support throughout the missions.
Weapon of Choice: Crowbar +5 (+500 to baddassedness, 2d20 of bludgeoning damage, plus morale damage to opposing armies [they are being beat up by a crowbar for Celestia's sake.])
Gear:
Armored suit, (immunity to bullets, lacerations, abrasions, and damage below neck. Vulnerability in head)
Crowbar
Massive amounts of bullets and guns, rarely used, including 9mm handgun, MP5 with grenade launcher attachment, RPG, 12 gauge shotgun (8 shots), .356 Magnum revolver, a phaser pistol
10 Grenades.
5 satchel charges.
Special traits:
Badass: 50% chance to cause fear into enemies when charging into battle
Support: Gets periodical random drops from orbiting starship.
One Man Army: Gets +100 to all attacks when outnumbered and with one or less additional people in party.
Special Traits:
Fearlessly Intelligent: Immunity to Fear and all mind-affecting spells and affects, 65% chance to instantly solve a practical or scientific problem.
Ability Scores:
Strength: 15 (+6)
Dexterity: 16 (+3)
Constitution: 18 (+5)
Intelligence: 17 (+7)
Wisdom: 11 (+0)
Charisma: 14 (+3)
(the parenthesized +'s are addons from armor and gear, not pluses to combat and other scenarios)

"Yes, Captain."

"You brought us here. Now you're going to help us figure out why."

Author's Note

And with this, we truly begin.

Status: Edited

Blazewings thunder: 4
Masterweaver: 2
somepony1: 1

To Sweet Apple Acres

Head over to Sweet Apple Acres singing a song as you do.

Go to Sweet Apple Acres and see if Applejack needs some help. And when you get to Sweet Apple Acres you should ask if you can borrow one of their axes or a pitchfork, it would be advantageous to upgrade your arsenal.

Walk to Sweat Apple Acres while playing some RPG traveling music in your head.

You decide that it probably would be best if you just headed to Sweet Apple Acres right away. You think Applejack would appreciate it since you took a few days off for... well, you guess you can say business reasons.

As you walk from Lyra's house, you feel as if a song would somehow fit the mood right now. So, with that in mind, you take in a deep breath-

'WAIT, STOP!!!!' you mentally yell at yourself before you sing even a single word. Thankfully you remember that every song that gets sung here in Ponyville somehow gets turned into a full on musical before anypony gets anywhere. While that would be nice right now, you really don't feel like a musical at the moment. You kind of want to get to work, yet a song still feels necessary right now for some reason.

With that in mind, you settle for a nice compromise. Whistling.

Surely if you whistle a song it won't blow into a full on musical right? Right...

So as you walk away from Lyra and Bon Bon's house you start whistling a catchy tune to yourself. Sure its not an RPG travel tune, but BY ZEUS IT IS CATCHY!!!

"Do do doo,

do do doo,

do do doo doo dooo,

doo doo dooooo dooooo."

You stop about ten steps into town as you realize that someone else is singing with you. Someone... bubblegummy.

'Ghost Pinkie Pie!' you mentally growl to yourself, but when you turn to look, you don't see the ghost of Pinkie Pie, but rather the ACTUAL Pinkie Pie bouncing next to you (in place somehow since you stopped) singing the tune to herself.

"Do do doo,

do do doo,

do do doo doo dooo,

doo doo dooooo dooooo."

"Uhh, Pinkie," you say to her. She just keeps sining. "What are you doing?" At that, Pinkie Pie stops singing and looks at you.

"Oop, sorry," she says as she giggles to herself. "It's just that that song you were whistling was so catchy I couldn't help but sing it. Can I keep it?" As she says that last part, she leans in close (REAL close), tilts her head to the side and bats her eyelashes a little.

You don't answer, partly because you're trying to figure how exactly how someone can "keep" a song that they heard someone else singing, and partly because you want to know why Pinkie Pie is not staring at you at eye level (Remember, these ponies are about chest height compared to you). The answer to the latter question you find is because she is now standing on a box that she got from... Who the hell knows where. You certainly don't.

"Uh..." is all you say to her. Upon hearing that, she just giggles again.

"Silly, I mean can I keep singing it. It's so catchy."

"Oh," you say in realization, though you're pretty sure that you're never gonna find out where she got that box from. "Yeah, yeah sure you can keep singing it Pinkie."

"Thank you," Pinkie Pie says with her usual 'Pinkie smile' beaming as she hops off the box and hops away from you while still singing.

"Do do doo,

do do doo,

do do doo doo dooo,

doo doo dooooo dooooo."

Great, now you just taught Pinkie Pie Saria's song. You're not entirely sure what the consequences of this will be, though you wouldn't be surprised if you found out that this had turned into a full on mane street musical again. Still, you have somewhere to be right now.

1) as you pass though town a Australian, buff stallion shouts randomly about selling, weapons, head ware, and keys to his companies Crates which are randomly hidden everywhere, just to make sure he doesn't add you to the list of endangered animals that he keeps yelling on about (amazingly not attracting fluttershy, to get her knives), you buy a key just to get him off your back (and maybe large duffel bag bulging of American dollar bills for only 4.99 bits, why he had that you don't know).

"Ah you there!" a random stallion shouts at you in an Australian sounding voice before you can go any farther. "Just to make sure you don't get added to the list of endangered species here in Equestria, I'm gonna give you this. For only five bits." He then reaches into his saddlebags and pulls out a key, which he then drops into your hands. You look at the key for a moment, then back at him. He laughs a little bit before he continues. "Just kidding mate. It's yours free of charge. If you see any of that companies' crates lying around. That key will open them." After he says that, he just continues on. "Good luck mate." he says as he passes you.

You honestly have no idea what that was about, but you have a key now.

Item Acquired: Key

You take a moment and look at the strange key for a moment. It looks like a regular key, made of what you are guessing is gold, since it looks gold. However, it has a logo of some kind carved into it. It looks like a raven raising its wings into a sun.

You put the key in your pocket for now. You figure it might come in handy later.

-One short walk to Sweet Apple Acres later-

Once you arrive at Sweet Apple Acres, you walk up the pathway to the farmhouse to see Applejack and her little sister Applebloom walking out of it. They seem to be talking about something. As you get closer, you start to hear what they are saying.

"Ah, come on Applejack," Applebloom said to her older sister like a little kid who wanted something. "Me and tha other crusaders were gonna try for Cutie Mark Crusader Lumberjacks today." You're not sure, but that sounds like the most ridiculous thing you've heard all day, and you just had an encounter with Pinkie Pie.

"Ahm sorry sugarcube," Applejack said to her little sister. "But I can't in mah right mind let ya'll do that unless either me or Big Macintosh are aroun', and we got work to do today so-" It's at that point that you reach the house, and by extension reach them. At the exact moment that she sees you, you watch Applebloom's face beam at you like the sun exploded in her face. The next thing you know, she's standing right next to you.

"Jason can come with us!" she says as she holds her hoof out at you.

"What?" Applejack says.

"What?" you say. You're honestly confused as hell right now.

"You'll come with me and the other crusaders so we go lumberjackin, won't yah, Jason!?" Applebloom asks excitedly. "Please." As she says that, she starts giving you the puppy dog eyes. You just look back up at Applejack, she seems just as confused as you are. You then look back down at Applebloom, who is still giving you the puppy dog eyes.

At this point, you have a choice. You can either:

A.) Go with Applebloom and the other Cutie Mark Crusaders and watch over them while they try lumberjacking (keep in mind you have absolutely zero idea how to be a lumberjack).

OR

B.) Stay here and do the work you were supposed to do with Applejack.

What do you do?

-Meanwhile, in orbit above the planet on the Dalek Flagship-

*Meanwhile, at the bridge of the Dalek ship.*
Video chat: Online Connection: Yellow

*A real-time video of Me, an earth pony wearing glasses with a brown coat and grey mane, appears in the command center screen.*
Me: Finally! The beacon has finally been downloaded into the ship's systems and we could finally communicate without any delays that takes days! Plus, with voice chat, I don't have to worry about typing! Typing with only pens tied to hooves is hard as it is. I'm getting a great deal of data and the scientist down here are ready for anything! So, Nana, how are you, and what is our situation? I thought our connection would be green.
Nana (the AI's nickname of her actual name): I'm fine- no, incredible! This ship runs cleaner than what is back at home. Compared to home, this ship is like a Canterlotian castle! The technology here is advanced, too! I wonder what pony lives would be like wi-
Me: Now, now. Nana, you know we can't introduce it to Equestria. These are creations of destruction, and we can't let it go to the wrong hooves, wether Equestrians are good or not.
Nana: *sigh* I know, I know... But still...
Me: About our connection.
Nana: Everything is running fine to me, but we are already running a diagnosis check throughout the whole ship, so the results should be displayed onto your electronic box any moment now.
Some crew member: I think you mean "computer".
Nana: Electronic box, computer; whatever.
Me: While we are at it, may I ask why your console runs on cookie dough?
Nana: ...Err *Scan Complete!* The scans done! *Activates Holograpic Status display* See? Our problem is just- *Shows red dots all over holographic display of the ship, and warning signs rapidly on the command screen* -everywhere...

Me: Oh dear...
Crew Member: We are going to need R.A's team for this...

Registered Anonymous
*Incoming call from one of R.A's hackers*
Nana: And speak of the devil. Permission to accept call?
Crew member: Granted
*Hacker's avatar appears*
Hacker: Command, we need to borrow a few Medic Daleks down at Sector 7, Aisle 2. Apparently R.A decided to ride down a set of pipes with a cart full of Daleks like a jackass.
Crew member: Is he wearing a red shirt?
Hacker: Yes, and came out unscathed.
Crew member: AW COME ON! *Everyone looks at him* I-I mean, that's good. Anyway, we need his team, stat.
Nana: How did I not notice he changed the pipes? *sigh* And here I thought I would be completely away from the crazies... At least the crew members are sane. It also narrows down one complication...
Me: Ha! Maybe this campaign is more than just paper work after all!
Nana: Your not helping!
(Dang, I think I out done myself and made this comment WAY too long. Oh, and by the way: Borealis Antenna's Current Vessel Possessed, Dalek ship. +5000 Firepower, +1000 awareness, +5000 Defense.)

(Also this isn't an RPG, you know those numbers mean nothing in this story, right?)

*On the bridge of the Dakel Flagship*

Nana: Video communication online, connection: Yellow.

Grey Rebl: Finally! The beacon has finally been downloaded into the ship's systems and we could finally communicate without any delays that takes days! Plus, with this I don't have to worry about typing! Typing with only pens tied to hooves is hard as it is.

Leader of the Appalosan Intelligence Agency: Grey Rebl

an earth pony wearing glasses with a brown coat and grey mane
Status: Unknown

Swimming Dalek: This is Swimming Dalek, commander of the reformed Dalek fleet. We read you loud and clear. How are you doing Mr. Rebl?

GR: Great. I'm getting a great deal of data and the scientist down here are ready for anything! So, Nana, how are you, and what is our situation? I thought our connection would be green.

Nana (Nickname for the Applaloosan AI): I'm fine- no, incredible! This ship runs cleaner than anything we have back home. Compared to home, this ship is like a Canterlotian castle! The technology here is so advanced too! I wonder what pony lives would be like wi-

GR: Now, now. Nana, you know we can't introduce it to Equestria right now. These are creations of destruction-

SD: Former.

GR: My apologies, commander. Regardless, we can't let any of it go to the wrong hooves, wether Equestrians are good or not.

Nana: *sigh* I know, I know... But still...

GR: So, about our connection.

SD: We're running a diagnostic check through the whole ship at the moment, so we're running a little slow at the moment, but we should be up and running within the next few minutes or so.

Nana: Everything is running fine to me, but the results should be displayed onto your electronic box any moment now.

SD: I think you mean computer?

Nana: Electronic box, computer; semantics.

-Elsewhere on the ship-

Ok here is what you do: You start singing Zippity-Do-Da Zippity-Day all the way over to Sweet Apple Acres alright? And once you get there find Applejack and get to work. Also again watch for any creepy ass clown ponies.
~~~~~~~~
*meanwhile in the Dalek spaceship*
R.A.: ...... *R.A. finishes reading the latest chapter of Wake Up. See This. What Do? Part 2 on his Droid after running around like a crazy guy* ....Everyone on this ship thinks I'm crazy now in the story... *head turns slowly with audible creaking to the point where he appears to be staring in some random direction to the normal observer, but is actually looking at the fourth wall, but more specifically the guy sitting behind it*
*R.A. gives the fourth wall and the guy behind said fourth wall a glare (as much of a glare as a guy with a mask on could muster) that says "You're next after this current incident I'm in blows over."*
R.A.: *sighs and tosses my droid over my shoulder. There is an audible cat screech that comes from behind soon after the phone was thrown.* Oh well there goes my fun for the rest of the day or until the plot on this ship gets rolling again... wait a minute... I just came up with the most ingenious idea ever!
*10 minutes later*
Hacker: Uh R.A. why are you in a shopping cart full of Daleks and a random Redshirt and why am I currently tapping you with my smartphone instead of strengthening the Dalek forces?
R.A.: Because my little hacking friend... "WELCOME TO JACKASS!" *manages to push the shopping cart over the edge of a conveniently placed downward slope of pipes*
Hacker: This can't possibly end well at all.
*I'll let your imaginations guess what happens afterwards although I will say that the Redshirt isn't going to make it.*

Registered Anonymous: So... everyone thinks I'm crazy in this story now do they... *head turns to look at the fourth wall* You all think I'm crazy do you. Well let me tell you something... I AM NOT-

Pinkie Pie: HEY THAT IS MY JOB!!!

RA: Sorry.

PP: ONLY I MAY BREAK THE FOURTH WALL!!!!!

RA: Sorry. Anyway, what was I doing? *looks at a nearby computer terminal

Terminal: Diagnostic check 85% done.

RA: Diagnostic check huh. THAT GIVES ME AN IDEA. *Pulls out Android phone, which he still has since he couldn't break the fourth wall*

-Back on the bridge-

Eh not bad in my opinion.
~~~~~~~~
*Message from R.A. pops up on the computer that is addressed to Nana*
I heard you need some of my hackers to help you with some computer troubles. I'll have them there in 10 minutes. I'll be there in 3 to start helping. P.S. I am NOT crazy. P.S.S. Don't worry I'm still fine after the crash P.S.S.S. Got any spare cookie dough? I need to bake some cookies.
With love, R.A.
*Message from one of R.A.'s hackers pops up soon afterwards*
DO NOT and I repeat DO NOT LET R.A. ANYWHERE NEAR THE COMPUTERS AT THE BRIDGE. LOCK THE DOORS IF YOU MUST JUST DON'T LET HIM INSIDE! And if he does get inside try shooting the breeze with him that'll keep him busy till we get there.

Nana: we got two replies, one from R.A and one from one of his hackers.
Crew member: Er... Put them both on display.
*Reads, and all the crew members panic*
Some crew member: Quick! lock all openings to this room, Including air vents and pipes!
Grunt crew member: On it! Someone give me duct tape!
Me: What's going on?
Crew member: Shits about to happen! That's going on! AI system, activate the breeze and station lockdown!
Some crew member: How did he know?!
Nana: Adding additional door locks... and activating breeze...
*Hiss~ CLANK*
Some crew member: Nana- AIthingyorwhatever- I have an idea, and I'm going to need some of the cookie dough from your console if this is going to work!
Nana: Wow, rude much? *extracts cookie dough*
Me: As funny the situation is, I actually don't wanna know what will happen if he gets near your console...
Nana: *surprised by the directors change of demeanor*
Me: But seriously, why is does console run on cookie dough?
Nana: *EM wave facehoof*
Some crew member: Okay, everybody listen. If all fails then I try to convince him to go to the kitchen and make cookies with this "special" cookie dough. Anyone got any better ideas though? *everyone shooks their heads* Oooh boy, I hope this works.
Grunt crew member: I don't want my data destroyed! *sobs*
Rookie crew member: Can anyone tell me what happens if he somehow gets in?
Crew member: YOU DO NOT WANT TO KNOW!!

Nana: Sir. I have just received a message from Registered Anonymous.

SD: On screen.

Nana: I heard you need some of my hackers to help you with some computer troubles. I'll have them there in 10 minutes. I'll be there in 3 to start helping. P.S. I am NOT crazy. P.S.S. Don't worry I'm still fine after the crash P.S.S.S. Got any spare cookie dough? I need to bake some cookies.
With love, R.A.

*Everyone is silent for a few moments.

One of RA's Hackers: Oh snap.

Hacker 2: Seal the room! Lock all openings to this room, including air vents and pipes! DO NOT and I repeat DO NOT LET R.A. ANYWHERE NEAR THE COMPUTERS AT THE BRIDGE. LOCK THE DOORS IF YOU MUST JUST DON'T LET HIM INSIDE! And if he does get inside try shooting the breeze with him that'll keep him busy till we get there.

SD: What in the name of the Shadow Proclamation is going on?

Hacker 2: Registered Anonymous is on his way here. Trust me when I say YOU DO NOT WANT HIM ANYWHERE NEAR THESE COMPUTERS!!!

SD: Why? What happens if he gets in?

Hacker 2: You DO NOT want to know.

GR: As funny the situation is, I actually don't wanna know what will happen if he gets near Nana's console...

Nana:.... Sir...

*R.A. pops open a ventilation system grate in the ceiling and pops his head through it into the bridge room*
R.A.: Sup guys?
*R.A. then drops from the ceiling into the room*
R.A.: Can one of you random individuals point out as to where a certain Nana is? I have some things I have to say to her and only her.

RA: HEY GUYS!!!

*They all look up to see Registered Anonymous poking his head out of one of the ventilation shafts.

Hacker 2: Well f*ck me sideways.

RA: *Drops down* Can one of you point out where a certain Nana is? I have some things I want to say to her and only her.

Nana: Eh hehehe...

R.A.: Unpredictable? Yes I am, and now that formalities are out of the way... *pulls out a sledgehammer from nowhere* Where's your computer problem?
*desperate knocks and banging are heard from the bridge main door*
Random Hacker: Let us in quick before he does something stupid!

RA: Ah, you must be Nana. So, you're this A.I. from Applaloosa that I have just heard about and who apparently thinks I'm crazy. *gets his face real close to the console and whispers* Here's a little secret for ya... I'm NOT crazy. Now... *Pulls out a sledgehammer* What is your computer problem?

Hacker 2: Oh snap.

Hacker 1: GET HIM!!!

Crew Members: Okay/Y-yes, sir/Phew.../Thank The Lord! *Preceeds to do what they are told. Daleks who got the SOS message came to help, just in case*
Random Hacker: *turns to Nana and I* Sorry for the trouble. He's an asset to the campaign, I know that, but I sometimes have trouble believing myself. You two can relax, we can take it from here. It's going to take a while though...
Me: Well, he was... exciting to say the least.
Nana: Seven darts? How was that even possible?
Random Hacker: The scientist Daleks said those exact same five words, and after a dozen... loose experiments, the only answer they got were the cookies. And even that brought more questions than answers. The only positive we got from it was that the cookie dough will be used to create the new super-advanced armor for our enhanced super-soldier Dalek, with the condition that R.A names the new Dalek for the cookie dough.
Me: Explains a little bit of why Nana's console run on cookie dough. What did He name the new Dalek?
Random Hacker: Master Chief.
Nana: If AIs' are even capable of having feelings, why do I feel like that's some sort of reference in the 4th dimensional world?
Random Hacker: That's because it is...
Status Report: Rookie became traumatized. Appleoosa Intelligence notified of R.A's behaviour. R.A contained until further notice.

*Swimming Dalek pulls out both his pistols and shoots Registered Anonymous in the back and the neck seven times with tranquilizer darts.*

SD: Well, that was... exciting. To say the least.

Hacker 2: What did you-

SD: Tranquilizers. *pops open gun and pulls one out to show him* One of these can take down a really large horse, and I just shot him with seven of these babies.

Hacker 1: You know, that might not keep him out for as long as you think.

SD: I see. *turns to two worker Daleks* You two.

*They both approach*

Dalek 1: Yes, commander?

SD: Take him to the brig and keep him contained until further notice.

Dalek 2: We obey.

*They both take him away.

SD: What the hell is with that guy?

Hacker 2: If we knew we'd tell you.

SD: Right. So anyway, I'm gonna go check out the newborn Daleks on the hatchery ship. Care to come with?

Hacker 1: No thanks. After that, I think its best if we stay here to keep a closer eye on Nana. Something tells me that we're more equipped to work with him than any of your Daleks... or RA... No offense.

SD: None taken. I'll leave you to it.

*Swimming Dalek leaves*

-Elsewhere, on the USS Enterprise-

Well then, Captain, let's get this show on the road.
Acquired: Perception Filter
Send us to Ponyville!
*teleporter beam sends the perception-filtered team to the ruined Castle in the Everfree*
DAMNIT! I SAID PONYVILLE!!
"Es-I mean, Mr. Freebrony, there is no need for this. Remember there was some interference with the teleporters. It's surprising we actually landed on the planet." Kirk said, "You should have put more thought into this."
Eh... hehehehehe....
"Captain, I believe I know which direction to go." Spock said, holding a Tricorder. His blue Earth pony from somehow managing to keep a hold of it. "I found a center of immense, yet harmless, radiation. This way." Spock led them off over a bridge and into the forest.
-A few minutes later-
"Captain, from what I've heard from our former ensign here, it is amazing that our fleet has yet to be detected by this" Spock stops, giving a sidelong glance to Gordon, before continuing, "Princess Luna. She seems to be able to control the orbit of the moon to some degree, and can create artificial meteor showers. If that is possible, which logically, it should not be, than she must hold power over enough technology to easily sense our ships."
"Don't worry about it, Spock!" Kirk replied, somewhat joyous at the beauty found in the planet around him, "I'm sure it will turn out for the best."
"That is highly illogical"
(IDC what you decide to do with that mini conversation, or even if you decide to include it. But it does raise some interesting questions, does it not?)

*Kirk, Spock, McCoy, and Gordon Freebrony all walk to the teleportation room*

Kirk: Remember, you are still a prisoner and you will be treated as such. If you disobey my orders in any way I'll stun you and drag you back to the ship myself. Do you understand.

Gordon Freebrony: Yes sir.

Kirk: Good. Now, remember. Don't bring any tech other than what we need. This planet is-

GF: Can I bring my crowbar at least?

Kirk: What?

GF: Well, they should at least have crowbars, so it wouldn't be too conspicuous if I bring it.

Spock: What he says is indeed true captain. Given the level of technology the planet has, it is likely that they will have crowbars, so brining one will not draw attention.

Kirk: All right. You may bring it.

GF: Thank you, sir. *goes to get it, followed by two armed guards.*

McCoy: I don't like this idea sir. Do you really wanna-

Kirk: He knows something about the planet Bones, and if he knows something, then he's gonna let us know too.

*Later, in the teleportation room, Kirk, Spock, McCoy and Gordon Freebrony (with only his crowbar) walk in*

Sulu *from the coms*: Captain, we have vacated the Dalek ship and are moving into position.

Kirk: Thank you Mr. Sulu.

*They all get into position at the transports-

Kirk: All right, Scotty. Beam us down to Ponyville once we get into position.

Scotty: Aye sir.

*A few moments later, Scotty beams them all down*

-At the Temple of the Two Sisters in the Everfree Forest-

*The away team appears.

McCoy: Well this doesn't look like Ponyville.

Kirk: *gets on the coms* Scotty what happened?

Scotty *on coms* We're gettin a lot of interference from the planet sir. That was the closest I can get ya."

Kirk: Work on finding the source of the interference. If you can't find it then contact the Dalek ship, they might be able to spot it better than we can.

Scotty: Aye sir. *Coms go off*

Kirk: All right. Mr. Spock, where are we?

Spock: It appears we are in a ruined castle (however many) meters southeast of the town in question sir. *Holds out a tricoder as he says this*

GF: Well, I guess we'd better start walking.

Kirk: *looks at him for a moment.* I suppose so.

*They all start walking, Spock stops Kirk.*

Spock: Captain, are you sure you want to go through with this plan. Given the intel we have-

Kirk: Don't worry about it Spock. I'm sure it'll turn out for the best.

Spock: That is highly illogical sir.

*They all start walking towards Ponyville*

Also to address this comment:

Also, (And I don't know if Swimming Dalek or Registered Anonymous are game with this, nor even if Razor will agree to this, but) if any of you out there want my character or the enterprise to do something specific, just reply to one of my comments and I MAY, if I like it and it makes sense in the story, write a comment causing them to do just that. Keyword: MAY.

All of you commenting, feel free to direct these characters (or join them) if you wish. However, I would still appreciate it if you all direct Jason in your comments first before any of these characters, since they are only a side story as of this point. That goes for you too SwimmingDalek, Registered Anonymous, Gordon Freebrony, Grey Rebl, and anyone else thinking of joining their cause as well.

Basically what I am saying is, you are allowed to direct these guys in the comments if you want to, but you still have to give your suggestions to Jason first before you can give suggestions to them.

Jason is still the main character in this story, so he is the top priority and he always will be. I will write the story about him first before these guys. Always.

Also one last reminder. While you all can have conversations with each other. Multiple comments directing Jason or any other character is not allowed. If you need to charge or add something, please just use the edit button. It's there for a reason. Thanks.

Author's Note

Status: Edited

Blazewings thunder: 4
Masterweaver: 2
somepony1: 1

I sleep all night and I work all day

Tell Apple Bloom that as adorable as she is you hace a job to do, and you hope she can understand that and act like a mature young mare.

I think the random voice collective here agrees: while we could help supervise applebloom and her friends, you're here to do some "sirius" work
*Picture of Sirius Black
Lul, but really, choose B; we of the random voice collective demand it

Alright, stay and work with Applejack. You have work to do and you have been avoiding it recently because of the thing with twilight. though you still have to wonder what that was all about....
Anyways! after a long day of work you sigh and look up at the sky. Man, what a beautiful da-... wait... Is that a ship in the sky?
you squint your eyes but it's hard to make out...

Just help Applejack. While I'm all for helping those girls get their Cutie Marks, I think being Lumberjacks may be dangerous for them at their age.

You're.... really not sure what to say right now. You'd really like to do your work right now, after all, it's what you came here for in the first place anyway. Then again, this is a child you are dealing with, so you know you'd better tread lightly.

"Well..." you say as you scratch the back of your head and look down at Applebloom. You REALLY do not know what to say. "You see Applebloom. I......................"

*Inside your head right now

DEAR JACK JUMPING ZEUS' BEARD!!!! THAT IS JUST TOO DAMNED ADORABLE!!!! HOW CAN SOMETHING THAT ADORABLE EVEN EXIST, IT'S INHUMAN (Upon reflection, you realize how idiotic that statement was since you're talking about a pony and not a human, but still...). HOW CAN THIS EVEN BE ALLOWED TO EXIST LET ALONE ANYONE SAYING NO TO IT!!!!

Confused, awed, and a little frightened that you might suffer a fatal heart attack if you keep looking at her. You look over to your left to Ghost Pinkie Pie... Hopefully she'll know what to do in this situation.

OH GOD (Every swear word imaginable) DAMNIT!!!! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO NOW!!!???

To Jason:
Tell Applebloom that, as much as you'd love to help her earn her Cutie Mark today, you already committed to working for Applejack. Wait for her to get sad faced, then say 'However' as dramatically as you can manage. Then say that, since you are working for Applejack today, if SHE decides that the work you should be doing today involves looking after Applebloom and her friends - and if Applejack feels she can trust you to do that - then you would be more than happy to do so somewhere well away from the farm proper or any other dangerous area so that their antics won't get in anyone's way or put the three fillies in danger.
If Applejack says this is okay, do so.
If she does not, apologize to Applebloom, saying that, as a grown up, you have to live up to your commitments. Also, suggest a safer alternative option for Crusading today, such as jam skating.

How can you say no to that face? Tell Applebloom that you'd like to help as long as Applejack is on board for it. If AJ is unsure, tell her that they might try to Lumberjack without supervision and that it would be better if someone watched them and made sure they didn't get hurt. Besides you did good at chopping logs the other day, (even if you were channeling Thor) so you do have some experience.

Go lumberjacking because nothing could possibly go wrong when you and a bunch of fillies go try to cut down trees... right?
Befor you go make sure that you have apropriate work cloths on. And tell AJ that you will be back to help her later.
Besides, you should have plenty of time. It's not like someone or somepony is out to get you or anything.

Jason: Ask Applejack. You're on her time and this is her call, as cute as Applebloom is, and she is freaking adorable. So ask Applejack what she wants, if she wants to be steadfast and have them and you here, or if she wants you to go with the Crusaders and watch over them. If you stay here, do your work and try not to feel too guilty. If you go with the Crusaders... just try and make sure they don't get hurt or into trouble...

Choose A dammit! Even if you don't do your supposed work for Applejack right away you can always tell her afterwards that you were with her little sister trying to find her cutie mark, hopefully that will earn you some brownie points. Also for the love of god don't let any of the Cutie mark crusaders hurt... or else.

The cutie mark crusaders.... with axes... cutting down trees.
That's a great idea! Do it! Go lumberjacking with them. Besides, no one can resist their puppy dog eyes.
Cause we are lumberjacks and we're ok.
We sleep all night and we work all day!

Go help the CMC with being lumberjacks!!! And get yelled at by Fluttershy for harming some trees. >.>

Just watch out for falling trees and apple-stealing birds. Dem Vahrmin' Critters. But do birds even eat apples? Maybe they only did it for the worms inside. Explains the holes you kept on finding whenever you carry around said apples for the past few days. Do the worms taste like apples? Why did you ask yourself that? And why is the ghost of Pinkie looking at you expectantly?
"Say no to those puppy eyes, then your going to regret it," she said
(I need to make more room for Jason suggestions.)

Ask Applejack what to do. Hopefully she needs more help on the farm than Applebloom needs lumberjacking help.
If Applejack does tell you to go with Applebloom, suggest something safer lumberjacking for their cutie marks.

watch the cutie mark crusaders they might give you a laugh or two or some if you know what i mean

Me: Okay I'll work with Apple Ja
:applecry:
Me: uh...
:applecry:
Me: FINE I'LL WORK WITH YOU
:ajbemused:

"I.... I guess I can go with you as long as your older sister says it's okay." You say to Applebloom as you direct your attention back up at Applejack. "I mean I still have work to do today too," That seemed like the best move, hopefully Applejack will be able to get you out of this, though it doesn't even take an instant for Applebloom to spin 180 degrees and start giving her older sister the puppy dog eyes.

"Please, Applejack," she asks in THE MOST ADORABLE VOICE POSSIBLE!!! GOD DAMN IT EVERYTHING ABOUT HER JUST SCREAMS ADORABLE!!!

Applejack just looks down at her little sister with the same look of "I don't know what to say" on her face as you did. She looks down at her little sister, then back up to you, then back down at her sister, then back to you, then back down at her sister, then back to you, and you've just decided that you are going to stop making this Old Spice reference. It was getting old a long time ago.

"Well..." Applejack begins to say. Yes, this was it. She'd be able to get you out of - "Ah guess it's all right."

'Crap,' you think to yourself. You're can't even see her face right now, but you can tell that the sun just exploded in Applebloom's face again.

"But ya'll better do what 'e says an be on yer best behavior now ya hear." Applejack continues.

"Thank you Applejack!" Applebloom replies jubilantly. "And we will, don't worry." And the instant she says that last part, she spins around 180 degrees to face you again at a speed that Pinkie Pie would say is ripping her off. Turns out you were right. The smile on her face is even brighter than the sun. "Come on, Jason!" She says to you excitedly. "Ah'll meet ya over by tha barn." The moment she says those last words, she runs off towards the barn. Both you and Applejack just stare at her for a moment before all you can see of her is just a yellow and red blur. She ran fast.

With her gone, you turn your attention back to Applejack, who just smiles sheepishly back at you while trying to look everywhere else but directly at you. After a moment, she starts rubbing the back of her head and starts laughing to herself.

"Sorry about that," she says to you. You just let out a sigh.

"It's all right," you say. After all, it's not entirely her fault. You did have to open your big mouth after all.

"It's just that after last time Ah's feel a lot better if somepony was watchin 'er. Ya know, just ta make sure she don't 'urt herself."

"What happened last time?" You ask her. To that, she only looks away from you even more and starts laughing nervously again. You... think it's best not to ask. After a moment of awkward silence between you too, she speaks again.

"Don't worry," she says as she regains her former not nervous composure... You're starting to wonder what happened last time now. "Just keep an eye on 'er for me. Hell Ah'll even count it as work fer ya. T's only fair."

"Ah thanks," you say to her. "But you don't have to do that." Shockingly enough, she starts laughing nervously again at that.

"Nah nah, Ah want to. Knowin mah sister Ah'd feel bad if Ah didn't."

...

...

...

...

...

...

Okay, now you REALLY want to know what happend last time.

-A couple minutes later-

After a couple minutes that seemed longer than you know they actually were, you and Applebloom walk on out of the barn with you carrying three axes that you're pretty sure are too big for someone as young as Applebloom to even use and a bag full of other supplies, all of which doesn't really seem that heavy all things considering.

"Come on, Jason!" Applebloom says to you with all the eagerness that only a child could muster. "This way to tha treehouse." From what she told you (and she told you a lot) while you were in the barn, she and her two friends apparently do have a clubhouse somewhere in the apple orchard, so that is where you're guessing that you are going. With that, she runs ahead of you into the orchard with you not far behind. After a moment she slows down so you can catch up with her.

The two of you then walk through the orchard with Applebloom jogging lightly by your side. Because of her shorter legs, she kind of had to to keep up with with your long strides. All the while she keeps looking up at you with that same excited look on her face.

You do realize chopping down that particular tree angered the local fairy population.... right? I mean it was their shopping mall! It's Violet Friday! There was a SALE ON PIXIE DUST!

Immediately apologize and offer to do anything the fairies want.

"You know," you say to Applebloom as you keep walking, to which she looks up and devotes all of her attention to you. "You do realize that chopping down some of these trees might anger the local fairy population right? I mean hell, I think that one there is their shopping mall, and it's Violet Friday." At that, the look on Applebloom's face suddenly changes from excited to confused in an instant.

"What?" is all she says, to which you silently laugh to yourself.

"Just kidding," you say to her. "I didn't think you'd actually fall for it."

-Meanwhile, in Canterlot Castle-

Out of nowhere, Celestia put down the book she was reading and looked forward. Her eyes went wide.

"What is it sister?" Luna asked her out of concern.

"I sense a disturbance in the force," Celestia replied. "As if Jason Morgan just tried to troll a child." At that, the look on Luna's face changed from concerned to confused.

"What?" was all she said.

-Meanwhile, back in the Sweet Apple Acres apple orchard-

"But seriously," you continue, Applebloom is still looking up at you. "Why not try something a little safer for crusading today, like say, I don't know, jam skating." You have to admit, you don't really know much about cutie marks, but even you know that lumberjacking is not something that a child should be doing without supervision.

Actually, in retrospect, now that you are thinking about it. Perhaps it was a good idea that you went with Applebloom. Something tells you that they would have done this regardless of what Applejack said to her, so it's probably better that you are here watching her. Plus, it would also helped if you kept her and her friends from catching any lumberjacking related diseases.

"We already tried that yesterday," Applebloom says to you, which makes you turn your attention back to her. "It didn't work out that well." Okay, now you are really confused. You honest to God and Zeus just made up jam skating off the top of your head. You didn't in any way expect this. What kind of things did these little fillies do on their quest for cutie marks.

Somehow, you dont' think that the jam skating was the "last time" incident that Applejack was talking about.

Well, regardless of that, the cheerful and exited look returns to Applebloom's face almost instantly as she looks back up at you.

"Come on, it's this way," she says as she leads you through some of the trees. Her previous enthusiasm returned.

"All right," you reply as you follow her through the orchard.

-PERSPECTIVE SHIFT: Applebloom-

What is this:

(Introducing a new feature in the Wake up. See this. What do? story mechanics. The perspective shift. This feature shifts control of the story from Jason Morgan to any of the other characters in My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. As you are no doubt aware, there are several key players here in this show, Jason being one of them, but there is also the other members of the Mane 6, Applebloom here, Spike, and who knows who else. So, when the "PERSPECTIVE SHIFT" sign comes up, that means that the character you will be directing with your comments will be changing depending on the situation.

On, and before you ask, no, you as commenters cannot control the perspective shifts, only I, the author may do that, and any and all comments suggesting a perspective shift will be ignored. Oh, and Registered Anonymous, Gordon Freebrony, Swimming Dalek and Grey Rebl (as well as anyone else who wishes to join them) the perspective shift will not make you guys the focus of the story. Nothing changes for you guys, you are all still side characters and you'll appear in this story the same way you've always have.

The perspective shift only applies for the main story, and right now the perspective shift is changing from Jason Morgan to Applebloom, and will remain as such until the perspective shift changes it back to Jason. So yeah, for those of you that wanted control of the other ponies. Now is your chance.)

You are Applejack's liquorice headed little sister, Applebloom. Cutie Mark Crusader, proud member of the Apple family, and soon to be CUTIE MARK CRUSADER LUMBERJACK!!!

Right now you are walking through your family's apple orchard to the CMC clubhouse with your new friend, the huma-thingy Jason Morgan, who is carrying the stuff you guys are gonna need (including the Axes), and it is... AWESOME!!!!

You've never really gotten a chance to talk to Jason before, and you think he's kind of cool, and now he is coming with you, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo on your crusading adventures. You've talked about him with the other crusaders since he's been working on your family's farm and they all have tons of questions about him, and so do you. Right now though, you've got him all to yourself, and you've got tons of questions you want to ask him.

So what do you, as Applebloom, ask Jason Morgan.

What do you do?

-Meanwhile, in orbit above the planet-

*Another ship suddenly enters the planet's space. It soon sends a signal to the Dalek ship*

*On the bridge of the Dalek Flagship*

Dalek 1: Incoming transmission.

Dalek 2: Let it though.

"Hello *Happy Campers!* We have decided to put *Fingers* here because we feel another slide! We have *danced* with Daleks before, but these Daleks *smell* new! There is so many slides here! *Go! Go!* We send a *finger* to *Many Bubbles* to make *Cows!*"
((Orz from Star Control has entered the game))

From the Speakers: "Hello *Happy Campers!* We have decided to put *Fingers* here because we feel another slide! We have *danced* with Daleks before, but these Daleks *smell* new! There is so many slides here! *Go! Go!* We send a *finger* to *Many Bubbles* to make *Cows!*"

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

Hacker 1: The fuck did he say?

Dalek 1: Inform Dalek Antares and The Commander.

Dalek 2: I obey.

-Meanwhile, in the brig of the Dalek Flagship-

*meanwhile in the brig of the Dalek Space ship R.A. is currently lying face down on a bed*

R.A.: ..............I'M BOOOOOOORRRRRRREEEEEEEED! Pinkie, can you talk to me and keep me entertained? I'm currently paralyzed from the neck down due to the tranquilizers and can't move to entertain myself.... pretty please?

Dalek Gaurd # 1: Who is he talking to?

Dalek Gaurd # 2: I don't know.

R.A.: ....I'm sorry for trying to break the 4th wall Pinkie... c'mon just talk to me for a little while please.... well if you can't do that for me can you scratch my back please? ITS BEEN ITCHING FOR THE PAST HOUR AND ITS UNBEARABLE!

*the two Dalek gaurds leave due to the fact that they believe R.A. is "pants on head" insane*

R.A.: ....Please anyone?

*crickets chirping in the background*

R.A.: .... *sniff* I'm sad now...

*Registered Anonymous lies on a bed face up*

Registered Anonymous: I'M BOOOOOOORRRRRRREEEEEEEED! Hey, can you talk to me and keep me entertained? I'm currently paralyzed from the neck down due to the tranquilizers and can't move to entertain myself.... pretty please?

*The two Dalek guards outside his cell remain silent.

RA: Pinke... Pinkie, I'm sorry for trying to break the 4th wall... c'mon just talk to me for a little while please.... well if you can't do that for me can you scratch my back please? ITS BEEN ITCHING FOR THE PAST HOUR AND ITS UNBEARABLE!

*Silence.

RA: *Sniff* I'm sad now...

Pinkie Pie: Ah, don't cry Registered Anonymous.

RA: PINKIE!!!

PP: Yep. It's me. *giggles*

RA: Oh... my... god.... you're....

PP: I'm not mad at you R. A. I just get kind of angry when other ponies besides me and the author, well he really isn't a pony is he buuuuuuuuut that is a conversation for another time, tries to break the fourth wall. It's why I don't like that Risen Flag pony, that and because he's a big dumb meanie. So don't be sad R.A. Just remember...

Author's Note

Sorry today's chapter came out kind of late. I got home from work late tonight. So yeah... sorry.

Oh, and also.

Status: Edited

Blazewings thunder: 3
Masterweaver: 1
somepony1: 1

Applebloomquisition

Applebloom: Ask Jason absolutely EVERYTHING!!!! ... Ahem. But before everything, thank him for the cookie, so thank you to him also for coming out to supervise your lumberjacking, ask him if he's ever been lumberjacking before, and then ask him why he has hands instead of four hooves. Spike's got claws, kind of like his hands. IS HE RELATED TO DRAGONS?!?!

"Thank ya'll again fer comin crusadin with us," you say to Jason first and foremost. You may not be Sweetie Belle or *shudder* her sister Rarity, but your big sister didn't raise no impolite little filly.

"It's no big deal," Jason replies as he follows right behind you.

"Oh, and thanks for the cookie the other day," you say to him afterwards. At that, he just looks at you slightly confused. Maybe he's forgotten about it. Then you see him look to his right a bit away from you. There's nothing there, so what's he looking at?

"Oh," he says in realization. "Yeah, no problem." So he did remember it after all.

1.) Looking up at Jason, ask, "Say, have ya'll ever seen Lumberjacks in your home? Ah mean, we have them here in Equestria, but what are they like by you? Can you think of something they do that might help me and mah friends be better Lumberjacks?"

(Yes, I can silence the Tourge Corporation)

"Have ya'll ever been lumberjackin before?" you ask him. "Or have ya'll seen lumberjacks where yer from? Ah mean, we got em here in Equestria, but what are they like where yer from?" Right before he's about to respond you then add. "Can ya'll think of somethin they do that might help me and mah friends!?"

"Well..." he starts saying. "No, I've never really been lumberjacking before." Drat! Ah well, it was worth a shot. "And I don't really know anyone who is a lumberjack so... Sorry. I can't really help you there."

Well this Jason is a Human, and he mostly wears clothes, ask if he has a cutie mark at all.
If he doesn't, ask him what his special talent was in his world.
Then ask him if he has any fighting or wrestling experience, maybe you and the girls can get your cutie marks in coaching him in professional creature wrestling. You're pretty sure he could take on a Minotaur.

What did you do for a living before coming to Equestria?

"It's all right," you say. You knew that was a bit of a long shot, but you asked anyway. Nopony you know is a lumberjack. Then again, he isn't really a pony. Come to think of it... "What kind of cutie mark do you have anyway?" At that, he just looks at you funny. It's almost like he's confused. "Come to think of it, why do yah always wear clothes? Ah mean Ah've never even seen yer cutie mark so what gives? What is it?"

He doesn't answer you. He just keeps looking at you weird like you just asked him what the sun was made of. But you didn't ask him what the sun was made of, you just asked him what his cutie mark was. It's a perfectly reasonable question. He's certainly old enough to have one.

"Well..." he finally says. He looks away from you a bit before continuing. "Humans don't have cutie marks." At that, you stop. You have to, because now its YOU whose just heard something that's impossible. He DOESN'T have a cutie mark. "And all humans wear clothes." He continues. "It's just something we do. I mean, we're not like you guys. We can't go around naked all the-"

"YOU DON'T HAVE A CUTIE MARK!?" You blurt out. You honestly did not hear a thing he said after the fact that he said he didn't have a cutie mark.

"No," he replies. "No I don't."

"But if yah don't have a cutie mark, then how do yah know what yer special talent is?" You're honest to Celestia curious right now. Does he not have a special talent? Is he like a minotaur or a buffalo where they don't have cutie marks but all their special talents are kind of similar? What gives?

"Well..." he begins to say before he pauses again, it takes him a second or so to come up with an answer. "Most of us don't really need a cutie mark. We just sort of know. We really don't need a mark on our butts or anything like that to tell us what we're good at. We just know."

All of this... is really kind of insane. A creature without a cutie mark. It's just Celestia damn unbelievable (don't tell yer sister that you said that). You just stand where you are and keep staring at him for a moment. He just keeps staring back down at you. You almost don't believe him. Part of you wants to make him show you to see if he is telling the truth, but you don't think he is going to even if you ask him (plus this story under no circumstances will ever go there and no force of nature will ever compel me to write that, you sick idiots. Shame on you).

After a few moments you start walking again. Jason follows right behind you.

"Well..." you say, it takes you a moment to find the words you want to say. "What did you do before you came here?" You ask him. "Ah mean, what was your special talent... if you had one."

"Mine?" He replies. "I was a grad student."

"A grad-whatnow?" you ask him. You've never heard of that before. Maybe it's a human thing.

"A grad student," he says. "I guess you could say that I'm like a scholar. I study things." Oh NOW you get it.

"Like Twilight Sparkle?" you ask. She's always reading and Applejack says that she's always trying to learn something new, mostly about friendship, so she's kind of like a grad student you suppose. However, the moment you ask that, it takes a moment for you to realize, but Jason isn't following you anymore. You stop for a moment to look back to see that he has stopped moving altogether. He's not walking, and he just appears to be staring straight. "Jason," you say as you walk back over to him. He still doesn't move. "Jason yah all right there?" He still doesn't respond.

After a moment though, he moves his head violently to the left and then the right like he suddenly got slapped by something and then shakes his head out a little bit.

"I'm sorry where was I?" he asks you once he stops.

"Uh..." you say. You honestly have no idea what the hell just happened. Did you say something wrong? "We were just goin to the treehouse." you say as you put on your brightest smile. Maybe he'll forget about what you said if you just act normal.

"Oh, right," he says as he looks forward again and starts walking. SUCCESS!!! You did it. He doesn't remember a thing.

You run for a bit and catch up to him after your air hoof pump in victory. Thankfully he didn't notice it.

Jason do you have some disease? Becuse you don't have any fur.

"So uh..." you say. It's time for a new question. "Do yah have some kind of disease or somethin, cause you don't have any fur or coat or nothin."

"Oh," he just says. Yep, he's back to normal. "Humans don't have any fur. It's just how we are." Yep... definitely back to normal.

What are those little digits at the end of your forehooves?

Ask "What are those things on the end of your arm?"

You're about to question him further on that, but then you notice the things on the ends of his hooves. The things he's using to carry the axes and the bag. Suddenly a question you had before comes back to you like your head to what you almost crashed into last time. You were going to ask that question first, but then that whole "no cutie mark" thing came up and you got a little curious. Now since he doesn't remember that though.

"What are those things on the end of yer forehooves?" you ask him.

"What?" he says as he looks back down at you. He seems to be confused again.

"They look like Spike's claws but..." you have to fight to keep yourself from blushing at the mention of his name. By all of everything he is hot, and not in a literal way. "Oh mah gosh!" You say as you feel your eyes suddenly go wide with realization. "Are you related to dragons!?"

"What?" he says, looking even more confused now. "No. No I'm not related to dragons. We don't even have dragons where I'm from." Somehow, you feel kind of disappointed at that. Then again, if he's not a dragon he's far less likely to try and eat you so that's always a good thing. "Humans are mammals, not lizards," he continues. "And they're called hands. They allow me to carry things."

"Hands?" you say. Now it's your turn to be completely confused again. At that, Jason just sighs and stops walking again. He then puts down the bag, turns around to face you, bends down so he's eye level with you, and holds his hand in front of your face for a moment.

"See," he says. He then moves the weird digits at the end a bit so you can watch. "And these things here are called fingers," he says as he moves each one of them.

"Woah," is all you can say. You have to admit, that is pretty cool. You take a few moments to keep looking at and really study his hand. You look real close like at it. Where it starts, where his fingers bend, everything. It's nothing like a hoof. It's... kind of amazing.

After a couple moments though, though to short a time for you, Jason pulls his hand away and picks up the bag again. You watch his hand closely as it does that. The way the fingers bend around the straps of the bag and pull it close. Normally you, as an earthpony, would carry that bag in your mouth, but he doesn't need to, not with hands. It's kind of amazing.

"Wow..." is all you can say again. Jason just laughs at bit to himself at that.

"Yeah, yeah I guess it is kind of amazing," he says as he looks back down at you.

At that, the two of you keep on walking again and get ever so closer to the tree house.

What is your favorite kind of apple.

"Do yah like apples? Oh, what's yer favorite kind of apple?" you ask him now. You are on a roll with these questions now.

"Favorite kind of apple?" he says. "Well, I never really thought about that before." You watch him tilt his head in thought as he thinks of an answer to that. "I guess I like all of them. I'm not real picky." Well, that was a good answer.

2) Why do you wear shoes and what are toes?

"Do you have fingers on yer back hooves?" you ask him.

"No, I have toes," he says. "They're like fingers but they're shorter." At that, you look down at his "toes" to try and see them, but all you see are some weird, leather things that don't look at all like fingers.

"Why yah wearing those then?" you ask as you point to them.

"Oh, shoes? Well, since I don't have hooves like you guys, I can't really walk long distances for extended period of time. So I wear shoes to help me out with that." You suppose you can understand that. Some ponies here wear horseshoes, but you've never seen the point in them yourself.

"Could you take on a minotaur?" you ask him. You've never really noticed before, but he is really REALLY tall. He's almost as tall as your brother, heck, he might even be a little taller. Maybe he could take on a minotaur.

"A minotaur?" he says. "I don't know, I've never really met one."

were do baby humans come from? and other embarrassing questions

"Where do baby humans come from?" you ask.

"What?" he says, seemingly shocked that you asked that question.

3) Is there a possible way to travel across the sunlight forsaken earth with the equation of AC=F3 at the speed of Mach 3 whilst riding a retroactive ostrich born from the dna of a rocket cheetah and a normal virgin ostrich while the G-Force applies extreme pressures into your body and finally make the destination?

"Is there a possible way to travel across the sunlight forsaken earth with the equation of AC=F3 at the speed of Mach 3 whilst riding a retroactive ostrich born from the dna of a rocket cheetah and a normal virgin ostrich while the G-Force applies extreme pressures into your body and finally make the destination?" You feel yourself gasp a bit for breath after saying that.

"Uh..." is all he says.

Ask him what the meaning of life is, then just as he's about to answer(after thinking hard and stammering), arrive at the club house and forget all about your question.:pinkiehappy::derpytongue2::moustache:

"What is the meaning of life?" you ask him. You're so curious now. YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW!!!

"Uh... um... uh..." is all he says.

Right as he says that third "uh," though, you notice the two of you suddenly enter a clearing through the trees. You weren't paying attention before because you were looking up at Jason, but you apparently made it all the way to the treehouse.

"Ah, we're here," you say as you look forward at it. Jason appears to have stopped in his tracks.

-PERSPECTIVE SHIFT: Jason Morgan-

SOMEHOW YOU KNEW THIS AREA OF THE ORCHARD WAS FAMILIAR!!!

It didn't help at all when Ghost Pinkie Pie punched you in the face back there, but you had an itching feel that you'd been down this path before, and it turns out you have. You remember that tree house. YOU HID IN IT when you were running away from Twilight.

"Come on!" Applebloom says with the same enthusiasm she had when she was asking you endless amounts of questions. "Ah want yah to meet mah friends Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo," as she runs up to the ramp leading up to the treehouse.

You just stay right where you are. You've been here before, and you're pretty sure right now that whoever Applebloom's friends are, they know it, cause they saw you leap out the window when you ran from here. Plus, you kind of... still have those crayons you took from this treehouse.

And now Applebloom wants you to go inside with her.

What do you do?

-Meanwhile, in the Everfree Forest-

Kirk: "Right, where are we?"

Spock:"Well, captain, we are approximately two miles from our precious location."

Kirk: "So we're lost?"

Spock: "Yes, captain."

Gordon: "Nope, look! There's a gap in the trees. I smell woodsmoke! I think I can see a hut. Let's-"

A ringing noise meaning an incoming comm signal interrupted Gordon, while Kirk grabbed his communicator.

Kirk: "Kirk here, what is it?"

Ensign Chekov: "Sir, we haf transmission from Dalek fleet. They say they haf met new species, calling themselves 'Orzzz.' They want to know if we know them."

Kirk: "I-"

Gordon: "Captain! Did he say Orz?"

Chekov: "We were told Orz, yes. They spoke in cryptic language. They were constantly talking about smells. How Daleks smell new."

Gordon paled visibly, even showing through his perception-filterd body: "Captain, advise the Daleks to accept their help, but not to trust them. They- are an eccentric bunch, but they are very powerful. I have suspicions of their origins, but DO NOT search for them yourself. Those that do" *shudders* "don't ask them personal questions. Don't let them on the ship. DO NOT offend them and acquiesce if they ask you to stop any line of questioning, probing, or even talking. They may seem childish and aloof and harmless, but they could tear through our fleet like we were paper-mache."

Chekov: "Message relayed."

Kirk: "Good, signing off. Gordon, I'm going to assume you know what your talking about there. Now let's see about this cottage."

Zecora: "I hope I'm not being rude, but surely you are not trying to be crude"
*the away team jumps from her sudden appearance*

Kirk: Right, where are we?"

Spock: Well, captain, we are approximately two miles from our previous location.

K: So we're lost.

S: It would appear so, Captain.

McCoy: Well that's just great.

*Ringing noise from Kirk's communicator goes off.

K: Kirk here, what is it?

Chekov *on the other end of the communicator*: Sir, we haf transmission from Dalek fleet. They say they haf met new species, calling themselves 'Orz.' They want to know if we know them.

K: Well, I'm-

*Gordon Freebrony walks over to Kirk, he seems worried.

Gordon Freebrony: Captain, did he just say Orz?

C: We were told Orz, yes. They spoke in cryptic language. They were constantly talking about smells. How do Daleks smell new.

G: Captain, advise the Daleks to accept their help, but not to trust them. They- are an eccentric bunch, but they are very powerful. I have suspicions of their origins, but DO NOT search for them yourself. Those that do" *shudders* "don't ask them personal questions. Don't let them on the ship. DO NOT offend them and acquiesce if they ask you to stop any line of questioning, probing, or even talking. They may seem childish and aloof and harmless, but they could tear through our fleet like we were paper-mache.

*Silence rings between them for a moment.

C: Captain...

K: Right, just relay Gordon's message. We'll have to assume he knows what he's talking about.

C: Yes, captain. *Coms shut off.

K: How are you so much more well informed than the rest of us, Mr. Freebrony?

G: Well, sir.

K: None of us knew of this planet, and yet you brought us here, and now a species we've never even heard of shows up to help and you know all about them? How do you know all of this? Who even are you?

*Large, lion like roar out of nowhere breaks up the conversation, silence rings for a moment.*

K: Mr. Spock, what was that?

S: It would appear to be some type of indigenous life form, captain.

M: Yeah, but what kind of indigenous life form?

*Manticore suddenly bursts through the trees out of f*cking nowhere and roars at them*

-Meanwhile, on the bridge of the Dalek Flagship, the Caesar-

Antares: Affirmative, accepting Orz requests to assist. *looks to other Dalek* Inform them of our desire to maintain peaceful relations, but inform them we do not want them onboard any of the ships. Direct them away from the Brutus, especially. The hatchlings MUST be kept safe! And He (me) is on the Brutus as well! Inform the Nero to position itself 40 balchaks above them, all available weaponry to maintain a lock-on. Take no chances.

Antares: Affirmative, message received. Send a message to the Orz. Tell them we will accept their requests to assist. Inform them of our desire to maintain peaceful relations, but inform them that we do not want them onboard any of our ships. Direct them away from the Brutus especially. The hatchlings MUST be kept safe! And the Commander is onboard the Brutus as well! Inform him of the Orz presence. Inform the Nero to position itself 40 balchaks above them. All available weaponry are to maintain a lock on. Take no chances.

All other Daleks in the room: We obey!

Nanna *from overheard voice projectors: Diagnostic complete. No anomalies detected. No signs of any type of virus or hack in progress. No attempts at hackery were ever made. No cookies or spam detected. All systems running green. Communications, 100%. Everything is running fine and at 100% capacity.

Antares: Inform the hacker squad.

Dalek drone: I obey!

-Meanwhile, in the brig of The Caesar-

(And I do not need to write anything. I believe this sums it up extremely well.)

*meanwhile on the Dalek Spaceship*
*the musical, uplifting tune of the Smile Song lifts the depression that was clouding R.A.'s mind and he then jumps up from the ground, strikes a pose and yells at the top of his lungs...*
R.A.: YEAH! MY STRENGTH RETURNS! Thank you Pinkie Pie for granting me two things. 1. Returning me to my normal self and 2. Letting me inadvertently break the fourth wall by summoning you here. I will be sure to dedicate a song to you during the after-party once this whole situation about Risen is resolved. *gets on hands and knees and bows deeply* Thank you again Pinkie Pie!
*meanwhile the Dalek gaurds just ignore R.A. but deep down they think that he is seriously pants-on-head insane*

Author's Note

Status: Edited

Blazewings thunder: 3
Masterweaver: 1
somepony1: 1

Authors note:
Updates might be a little later than usual this week cause of some stuff going on in real life. Sorry. I'll still update on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, but yeah. If for some of you this updates at 12:48 am the next day, its because I'm writing them later than usual, so yeah. Sorry.

Also I want to acknowledge this comment for a moment here from Grey Rebl

*At headquarters
Grey Rebl: *grumble*...Where in Tatarus did I put those files? *grumble*
Operative: Director, you may need to–
GR: Not right now, I'm too busy to find your lost cat...
Operative: Director, sir! It's not that! It's from the LPIA (Las Pegasus Intelligence Agency) and the CIA! (Canterlot Intelligence Agency)
GR: Really? Is it another threat from the changlings?
Operative: No.
GR: Is it the Criminal Network?
Operative: Partly.
GR: ...Are they smuggling sexualized Wonderbolt posters again?
Operative: They are, but that's not what we're being informed of.
GR: Okay, then what?
Operative: ...I think you should see for yourself. *Puts a file on GR's desk along with a photo.*
GR: *Stops fumbling with the file cabinet, and takes a look at photo* ...What's this here? *In the photo, was a crate with a raven and it's steel wings raised towards the sun above it printed on the side.*
Operative: These were found being smuggled from Las Pegasus to Canterlot. It's contents are unknown. We tried to break into it, but it appeared to be enchanted. The only way we could open it is with a special key. One of these crates are to be sent to Intelligence Agencies all over Equestria for a collaborative effort to forcefully open it and locate it's source.
GR: ...! *Upon recognizing the symbol from the Dalek fleets database downloaded via Nana, he whipped towards the operative* Is the crate here?
Operative: Yes, sir.
GR: Send Agent Brauburn to Ponyville with the crate by train. I believe there will be an early Apple reunion. Come on, Solid Grey. Let's get you into Metal Gear... *Squirrel climbs onto his back*
Operative: You know what's going on? What is it then?
GR: Yes, I know. It's classified though. Oh, tell the Lab Ponies to ready one of our Mach 3 Ostriches for Solid Grey. He will be going in a secret mission.
Operative: But sir, the equation hasn't been proven right yet!
GR: The equation applies to a pony, we are talking about a squirrel.
Operative: *sigh* Yes, director. It will be done.

I mean... I didn't use this comment and I'm not gonna use it, but damn man. What the hell kind of organization are you running here? Cause I would seriously like to work there if it was that awesome. :pinkiehappy:

Cutie Mark Crusader Human Interrogators YAY!!!

Cutie Mark Crusader Human Interrogators YAY!!!

Follow Applebloom into the treehouse and pretend nothing is wrong while wearing a bad poker face.

Get in. Act normal. NORMAL I TELL YOU. Leave the crayons in place when nobody is looking. Supervise them while they... do whatever they are going to do, but don't supervise too much or you might get tired. After all work is done, pick a nice quiet and peaceful place to sit, or stand if you feel like it. Then, stay still for... about 50 minutes. Maybe more, maybe less, you can never now. I am certain you can also do other useful stuff meanwhile, but being useless will be more efficient. In fact, being annoyingly still is guaranteed (HE LIED) the best method. You will most likely hear a sound after some time, and a random object will fall from the sky, or, in official terms, drop. Try to avoid it as to not hurt yourself. If it is a weapon, or a hat, or some of stupid useless crap (Hats. Who wants that?), just throw it in a bin or something, useless... HOWEVER! If it is a crate, keep it to open it with the key! Mysterious treasure awaits inside...

"Come on!" Applebloom says to you as she starts pulling on your pant leg with her teeth, which due to the vast differences of size and strength between the two of you, doesn't even budge you an inch. Though it does get the point across.

You suppose you were gonna have to deal with this eventually, though to be completely honest with yourself you never thought you'd see this treehouse again. You were just running in random directions when you found it the first time so you chalked it up to dumb luck.

Oh well, you're here now. So you might as well go in and just let whatever happens happen, just like you've been doing ever since you got to this pony populated place (you would say god forsaken but really it's not all that bad when the presence of an insane, purple unicorn is taken out of the picture). It's weird now that you think about it, a lot of strange things have happened since you got here. It's almost as if all your thoughts and directions are-------

AND the look that ghost Pinkie Pie is giving you is telling you that you should stop that train of thought immediately.

Well give back the crayons and apologize, you stole them like a week ago, why do you even need them anymore?
Also when meeting with Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo if they seem a bit apprehensive towards you, do the cookie behind the ear trick again, it helped Applebloom get comfortable with you so it should work again, even though you have absolutely no friggen Idea how you do it.

Go into the tree house. Meet with Sweetie and Scootaloo. If they recognize you, give back the crayons and apologize for taking them. If they don't, and are missing the crayons, give them back, stating that you found them. If they don't recognize you and the crayons don't come up, forget about them. Attempt to gently steer the Crusading towards something or somewhere relatively safe.

Give them back the crayons.

With that, you just start walking forward again toward the treehouse with an ever so eager Applebloom. You suppose you should just fess up and give them back the crayons you took when they inevitably ask you for them. Crayons which, in hind sight, why did you even take them? It's not like you had anything to write them on at the time, and you have that pen and paper set that you got the other day now, so why do you still have them? When you think about it like that, there really was no point in taking them, much less keeping them, which made that entire subplot with the crayons entirely pointless.

In the time it took you to think of all that, you make it over to the ramp that leads up to the clubhouse. You set the axes and the bag of supplies down by the front of it before you go up. Not like you're gonna need to bring them inside and you're all coming out again anyway. Plus, no one else is out here, so it's not like anyone is gonna take them.

"Come on," Applebloom says again as she races up the ramp ahead of you. You just follow at a steady pace. Naturally, Applebloom reaches the door before you, and when she does you hear voices coming from inside.

"Oh, there you are Applebloom," you hear a very squeaky, high pitch voice say to her.

"What took you so long to get here?" You hear another voice ask. Applebloom doesn't respond to either of those though as right as the second one finished that comment, you walk on in through the door to the treehouse behind her to come face to face with two more little fillies, one white, and one orange.

Both of them immediately stop whatever it was they were doing (which as far as you could tell was sitting quietly on the floor) and glued their eyes to you. As you walk into the tree house, your head almost bumps the ceiling since it's lower than you thought it was. Apparently this house was not designed with taller creatures in mind.

"Jason," Applebloom said as she broke the silence. "These are mah friends Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo."

"Hi," you say to them as politely as you can.

"He's comin crusadin with us!" Applebloom said with her same huge smile on her face. Neither Sweetie Belle no Scootaloo respond to either of you. The look they are giving you is pretty much the same one you would give if you saw a seven-foot-tall lizard walking around.... which is essentially the same look you saw most of these ponies giving you when you first arrived here and they saw a six foot (almost) monkey walking around. It was a look you'd gotten used to since you've been here. After all, if one of these ponies came to your world, you'd probably be doing the exact same thing.

It feels kind of different with them though, probably because they're children.

At first, the two of them just sit there and seem a bit apprehensive about saying anything, but after a few moments, they both get up and slowly walk over towards you. You just stand still and let them get close. They look you up and down for a moment, the same looks of "what am I looking at?" still glued to their faces. You don't do anything, lest you startle them. Applebloom just keeps standing next to you like she's a car model presenting something awesome, and Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo are the target audience. After a moment though, the WTF looks drop from both of their faces.

"I still say he looks more like a weasel," Scootaloo, the orange one says as she turns to Sweetie Belle.

"What?" is all you say to that.

Then, immediately after that, both Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo turn back to face you and start rapidly asking you questions just like Applebloom did. In fact, all the questions they are asking are the same ones Applebloom did... And not a one of them are about crayons.

"What kind of cutie mark do you have?" Sweetie Belle asked you.

"Is it something super awesome?" Scootaloo immediately followed.

"What are those things at the end of your hooves?"

"You're friggin huge, could you take on a minotaur?"

"What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?"

"African or European?" you say to that last one, which makes both Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo stop in their tracks and look at you like you just said "arglflargleblargle"

Also, ask Applebloom why she was asking so many strange questions.

"Why are you all asking me so many strange questions?" you discreetly ask Applebloom as you sit down.

After that initial moment of awkwardness, you spend some time sitting and talking with Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, which mostly consists of them asking you questions and you answering them like with Applebloom, though for some of the ones that Applebloom asked you already, she jumped in before you could answer. You wish you had a camera when she told them you don't have a cutie mark, the looks on their faces were priceless.

After about thirty minutes of this, you all remember that you are supposed to go lumberjacking so you all start heading outside, with you almost hitting your head on the ceiling as you stand up.

Go into the tree house and clear up any other questions the CMC have, while discreetly returning the crayons... they were never gone.
Then inspect there weapons... er, tools and safety equipment before you go.
Oh, also tell Applebloom that the answer to life is 42.

Once all the crusaders leave the treehouse with enthusiasm, you take a moment to discretely take the crayons out of your pocket and put them on one of the tables. They were never gone.

*Item lost: Crayons

"Jason come on!" You hear Scootaloo yell at you from outside.

"Be right there!" You yell back as you get up and turn away from the table. Well, they never asked about the crayons so its not like they noticed they were gone, maybe they won't notice that they've suddenly come back. Plus, you still have your pen and paper anyway, so its not like you need them.

Jason: Go inside, and talk to the girls. Lay down some safety ground-rules for the lumberjacking expedition, like don't swing the axe too hard or it will fly off, and only one Crusader trying it at a time so they don't wind up accidently hitting each other with the axes, stuff like that... And wear helmets if you had thought of it. And goggles. If they have any. Oh, and ask Applebloom if she has a tree in mind... needs to be one that's mostly dead or decrepit.

You walk outside to find the three of them eagerly waiting for you at the bottom of the ramp. Once you get down there yourself, you stand in front of them, standing tall and proud.

"Right," you begin. "Since Applebloom's sister Applejack has entrusted me with watching over you three, and since we are going LUMBERJACKING of all things." You roll your eyes at that. This entire thing sounded stupid to you when you first heard it, and it still does. You look back at them real quick to see confused looks on all three of their faces. They're only kids, so even if it sounds ludicrous to you, they probably take it seriously. "I am going to lay down the official ground rules."

"Ahhh..." you hear the three of them chorus right as you say that.

"Why do adults have to ruin all the fun?" Scootaloo said as she directed her gaze away from you.

"To make sure you all don't get hurt," you say to her in response. "You don't want to get hurt do you?"

"Well.... no," Scootaloo replies. "But-"

"These axes are heavy, do you want to hit your fellow crusaders with them?" you say before Scootaloo can continue.

"No," Scootaloo replies.

"Do you want a tree to fall on you?" You ask her.

"No."

"Do you want to get your hooves chopped off?"

"No."

"I didn't think so," you say after that last question. Scootaloo just looks back at you defeated. "Right," you say again as you continue. "Rule number 1.) Only one crusader gets to swing the axe at a time, unless it's too heavy and you have to help each other out. Number 2.)," Now at this point, they're all listening to you. "Anyone or any pony that ISN'T swinging an axe has to stand well back."

"How far back?" Sweetie Belle asked, a little worried.

"As far back as I say is safe," you reply to her. "Number 3.) When the tree is coming down," even though you doubt you'll actually get to that part. "Get out of the way! Number 4.) While I'm not going to force you to wear protection, there are some helmets and goggles in this bag and if it seems like you are going to wind up hurting yourselves, then you are going to wear them."

"Awww...." they all chorus in defeat again. This time however, you are not deterred.

"Number 5.) And this one is the most important," you say. "Whatever I say, goes. You will do what I say, when I say it. If I say swing, you swing, if I say step back, you step back, and if I say jump, you say 'how high.' You will do what I say or else no more lumberjacking, is that clear?"

"Yes," the three of them respond back to you in chorus almost immediately. Still, you are not convinced.

"I said, is that clear?" you ask again.

"Yes!" They all say like they mean it. With that, you put your kindest smile back on as you pick up the axes and the supply bag. You know what's in it, you checked it before you left.

"All right, let's go lumberjacking," you say to them.

"YAY!" They all yell before they-

"CUTIE MARK CRUSADER LUMBERJACKS YAY!!!!!!"

You did not think that such a decibel level was possible for tiny little fillies, in fact you should have covered your ears. The only thing that stopped you from doing that was the fact that you were holding a bunch of heavy axes in one hand and a bag of supplies in the other. You almost fall over for a moment before you regain your composure, which you do rather quickly.

"Right," you say. "Applebloom."

"Yes!" She says eagerly as she steps out in front of the group and does a salute, for some reason. Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo laugh behind her as she does. You pretend to ignore them. "Do you have any idea where we should start, like is there a tree you have in mind for this?" At that, Applebloom puts her hoof to her chin. It takes a moment, but eventually the look on her face tells you she has something.

"Ah sure do!" She says with the level of enthusiasm only a child could muster.

"All right, lead the way," you tell her, and with that, she takes off into the orchard with Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo following close behind her. You follow shortly after.

Recognize the resemblance between Sweetie and Rarity, and ask if they are related.

"Hey, Sweetie Belle?" you say to her as you start walking, there's something about her that's been kind of bugging you since you first saw her.

"Yes," she says as she turns to look at you.

"You wouldn't happen to know Rarity by any chance would you?" you ask her.

"Rarity," she says with a smile. "Of course I do, she's my big sister." And now it suddenly makes sense to you. The colors of her coat and mane kind of tipped you off, but you weren't exactly sure.

Now that you think about it, you're starting to notice a pattern here. Applebloom is Applejack's younger sister, Sweetie Belle is Rarity's younger sister...

Notice that you have met nopony even closely resembling Scootaloo, and ask who her folks are.

and Scootaloo... Actually Scootaloo is kind of the odd one out here. You've never seen a pony that looks remotely similar to her since you've been here. Your first instinct is to say she's Rainbow Dash's younger sister, but you're not entirely sure that's true. You decide not to ask her now though, you'll do that later.

"Oh, and Applebloom," you say as you turn your attention over to her. She doesn't say anything as she turns to her to you. "Before I forget, the answer to the meaning of life is 42."

"42!" Applebloom says in amazement. You're kind of surprised at that response. You're not really sure if she got it.

"I always thought the meaning of life was an elephant bouncing on a trampoline." Sweetie Belle says out of nowhere. You, Applebloom, and Scootaloo stop dead in your tracks and turn to look at her the moment those words hit your ears. The looks you are giving her can best be summed up as 'What?'... "What?" she says to all of you as she apparently believes she said nothing weird at all.

You all just pretend to ignore whatever kind of argleblargleflargle she said and just keep on going.

And now you start to wonder, what sorts of things are going to happen on this lumberjacking trip with Applebloom and her friends. What sorts of things will happen.

What do you do?

-Meanwhile, in the Everfree Forest-

Kirk: "Set phasers to stun! Take it down!" he yelled as he whipped out his phaser.
Three concentrated beams of light spewed from McCoy's, Spock's and Kirk's phasers, hitting the creature in an impressive light show. Unforetuneatly, nothing happened.
Gordon: "My turn! AIAIAIAIAIAIAIAIAIAIAIAAIIAIAIAIAIAIAIAI!!!!" He raced towards the creature, crowbar raised, trying his best to beat the crap out of it.
unfortunately, the manticore was immune to his fear-inducing effects, batting away the suitless man, although the creature only saw a suitless pony.
Gordon: "Ow. You see, this is why I wanted my suit." He whined as he started coughing, a small trickle of blood coming forth from his mouth.
Kirk: "McCoy, look after Gordon. Spock, phasers on kill. Also-" *wham* Kirk landed near Gordon, the beast's paw having shot out while he was giving orders. McCoy hurried after his captain and crewmember, his doctor's bag at the ready. Spock, meanwhile, turned a nob on his phaser, taking careful aim at the creature.
Unknown: "WAAAAAIIIIITTTTT!!!!"
Spock stopped, as a butter yellow flying horse galloped forward, her pink mane flying out behind her.
Unknown: "Now I thought I told you not to attack ponies!" the pegasus said to the manticore, her stern scolding voice worse than whips to the poor manticore. It cowered away, trying to hid behind it's tail. "Now you apologize to these ponies and go!" The manticore whined, before turning to each of the away team in turn, whining out what must have been a manticore's apology.
Unkown:"Good. Now go!"
So bidden, the manticore left, running for all it's life's worth. Spock stepped up behind the pegasus.
Spock:"Greetings. As the highest ranking officer currently conscious, it is fallen to me to introduce our group. I am Spock. That is Dr. McCoy. That Is Gordon Freebrony. And that is Captain Kirk. "
The pegasus 'eeped' as if it had forgotten they were there, before mumbling out something incoherent.
Spock: "I'm sorry, could you repeat that."
Fluttershy: "I'm Fluttershy."

*Manticore charges at Kirk, Spock, McCoy, and Freebrony

Manticore: ROAR!!!!!

Kirk: SET PHASERS TO STUN! TAKE IT DOWN!!!

*Everyone but Gordon Freebrony whips out a phraser and shoots at it.

Manticore: ROAR- *thud!*

*Manticore goes down, unconscious. Silence reigns for a few moments.

McCoy: What the hell is that thing?

Gordon Freebrony: Manticore. *Everyone looks at him* Mythical creature back on earth, here it's real.

Kirk: Okay, I've had enough of this!

*Kirk walks over, grabs Freebrony by the colar and slams him into a nearby tree.

Spock: Captain.

K: *ignores Spock* Now, you're going to tells us everything you know. How you knew about this planet, those alien ships, and the things on it. Give me an answer or I swear to god I'll-

Zecora *out of f*cking nowhere* : I don't want to be rude, surely you are not trying to be crude.

-Meanwhile, on the bridge of the Dalek Flagship, the Caesar-

*At the Dalek ship, and because I'm a bit sleep deprived at this very moment I'm going to make this short*
Grey Rebl: Okay, there is nothing wrong with our communication, my video connection has suddenly turned green, and we have contact with another species. This a little too good to be true, don't you agree Nana?
Nana: Director, the chances of something lurking around the ship would be 99%, assuming peaceful diplomacy with the other species goes well.
GR: And that 1%?
Nana: ...R.A is actually not crazy and there really is something in the ship.
Hacker: I highly doubt it. I swear, he probably sneak meth into those cookies...
GR: Meth?
Hacker: A human thing you might not want to know about.
GR: Er, okay... Anyways, speaking of R.A, I was wondering: What's his story?
Hacker: He's an Anonymous; we'll never know for sure.
GR: You know, not seeing the big picture is a big pet peeve in equestrian agencies.
Hacker: Well deal with it, 'cause his hyperactive and unpredictable nature along with his short mental capacity is all what your going to get!

Dalek Regulus: All systems have been fully rebooted and are prepared for launch! We await your order, master SD!
Me: *takes a bite out of an apple* Raise all shields to full, make sure nothing can warp here unless it's the Enterprise's crew. And don't you think it's a bad idea for them to have the captain go down there on a foreign planet? Is this what they normally do? Huh, funny he isn't dead and most of his red-shirted mooks are... Whatever. Hey, R.A! Ready to get out of that cell now (since Razor didn't let him out the first time)?

Dalek Regulus: All systems have been fully rebooted and are prepared for launch. We await your order, Commander Swimming Dalek. (Is Master or Commander your rank? I'm not sure.).

Swimming Dalek: *takes a bite out of an apple* Raise all shields to full, make sure nothing can warp here unless it's the Enterprise's crew.

Regulus: I obey.

*screen comes on to open channel with the Appalosan Intelligence Agency (AIA)*

Grey Rebl: Okay, so there is nothing wrong with communication, my video connection has suddenly turned green, and we have achieved contact with another species. This is all a little too good to be true, don't you think Nana?

Nana: I agree, director. Everything is happening so fast I can hardly believe it.

GR: Still... Something just doesn't feel right.

Nana: Director, I have run a full diagnostic check of the ship. The chances of something lurking around the ship would be less than 1%, assuming peaceful diplomacy with the other species goes well. Additionally, the chances of something attempting to hack into the ship's mainframe is even smaller considering all of the advanced alien tech they have at their disposal. If something is here, we would have found it.

GR: What about the other 99%?

Nana: ... Registered Anonymous is not as crazy as we have been led to believe and there is something on this ship.

GR: Ah, Okay. Speaking of which, I've been wondering about R.A. What's his story?

Hacker: He's an anonymous, we'll never know for sure.

GR: You know, not seeing the big picture is a big pet peeve in equestrian agencies.

Hacker: Well, unfortunately you're gonna have to deal with it, 'cause his hyperactive and unpredictable nature along with his short mental capacity is all what your going to get.

SD: That reminds me. *walks over to the hacker* Why is he here anyway, how can he help us?

Hacker: Well... he has a very particular set of skills. Skills that could prove to be vital should we need them.

SD: What kind of skills?

-A short while later in the brig where R.A. is being held-

*Swimming Dalek walks up to the door*

SD: Hey, Registered Anonymous. Ready to get out of that cell now?

Registered Anonymous: YES!!! *Runs up to the door*

*SD pulls one of his guns on him right as he reaches it.

SD: If I let you out, you have to agree to something for me. It's nothing big, so don't worry.

RA: ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... Okay.

SD: I want to see what you are made of.

RA: Meaning....

*Swimming Dalek pulls the gun away, then opens the cell and gives Registered Anonymous back his golf club and Nokia armor.

SD: Follow me. You'll see what I mean in a minute.

Author's Note

Status: Edited

Blazewings thunder: 3
Masterweaver: 1
somepony1: 1

Also to address this comment:

ooooo.... so we can try our hand at putting a oc into the side story? well shall we give it a go.
" broadcasting in all languages and frequencies. this is captain mcgee of the systems alliance dreadnought 'plannet cracker'. we are standing by with military assests and civial assests. in accordance with first contact protocols.that is all. * while still on viewing * c."tell me were are we,pilot?" p."it seems the dimensional engines worked" c." good, now how long till we can jump once more?" p."um... one year" c." fantastic.*sigh* why me god?" *high strung voice* "because you were ordered to captain" c." dam salarians" *from the com officer* "sir we are still broadcasting" c." oh fuck me. shut the dam thing dow...." *coms shut down violently*

If you want to join the cause of Swimming Dalek, Gordon Freebrony, Registered Anonymous, and Grey Rebl, talk to them and see if they will let you join. Also before any of you call me out on bringing the Orz into this, that was because it was suggested by one of the contest winners, so I had to. Also I knew that it would make things interesting if I did bring them in. So yeah...

But yeah, talk to them, see what they say.

Ask Me Anything Returns

Remember a while back I did that blog post saying that you could ask me absolutely anything you wanted and I would answer it regardless of what it was? Well....

SEQUEL TIME!!!

A lot of Meanwhiles and Important Plot Points

-Meanwhile, on board the Dalek Flagship the Caesar-

The Orz Marines have entered their allies' various ships and are... assisting in the mechanical maintenance. Despite piloting around somewhat large mecha to get about, they can not only fit in the halls but also appear to be very good at taking orders and completing them and there doesn't seem to be any sort of sabotage at all. A few other Orz Marines appear to pick up the dead manticore, but when Zecoraq sees through their faceplate she bows in terror and won't rise until they've left.
"Many slides! *Sideways*, *Above*, *Below*, it is all playground! There will be much *dancing* and *Special Sauce* with the *Happy campers* and the *Cows*. We are waiting for the *dance* so we can help the *Silly Cows* into the *ranch*, but *rustlers* want them in their *ranch*. That is *Furgle*. This place *smells* so many colors!"

*Daleks detect presences leaving the Orz ships.*

Dalek 1: Incoming transmission from the Orz fleet.

Antares: Patch it through.

Orz: "Many slides! *Sideways*, *Above*, *Below*, it is all playground! There will be much *dancing* and *Special Sauce* with the *Happy campers* and the *Cows*. We are waiting for the *dance* so we can help the *Silly Cows* into the *ranch*, but *rustlers* want them in their *ranch*. That is *Furgle*. This place *smells* so many colors!"

Hacker 1: What the hell did he just say?

Dalek 1: They wish to establish friendly relations with us and will assist us in combat once the fighting begins.

Hacker 1: How... did you understand any of that?

Dalek 1: However, they wish to board our ships and assist with repairs and maintenance.

Antares: Inform them that we will accept friendly relations with them, but we do not want them on board any of our ships unless the commander or I allow it.

Hacker 1: What about the Enterprise?

Antares: They are their own crew. They will decide for themselves if they want them on board their ship. *turns back to the dalek at the controls.* Inform them that if they try to board our ships without permission we will be forced to open fire on them. We will want peaceful relations with them but unless we allow it we do not want them on board our ships.

Dalek 1: I obey.

*meanwhile on the Dalek ship orbiting Equestria) A random Dalek announces: I'm am detecting an unknown communication! Listening in now.
A screen showing a dark hooded figure in a chair with space in the background.
??????: The Time has come! hmhmhmhm.
-Connection to Dalek fleet (not the ones orbiting Equestria) complete-
*A Dalek appears on screen*
??????: Hello Daleks
Dalek: Identify yourself
??????: My name cannot be pronounced in any language except my own. But you can call me Somepony1.
Dalek: How you got this signal? EXPLAIN!? EXPLAIN!?
Somepony1: I have my resources. Which I'm not going to disclose right now.
Dalek: YOU WILL EXPLAIN TO US ON HOW YOU GOT DALEK SIGN?
Somepony1: I have information for you, important information.
Dalek: WHAT DOES THIS INFORMATION ENTAIL?
Somepony1 (smiles): Your friendly Daleks also know to you as the Traitors...
Dalek: YOU HAVE INFORMATION ON THE TRAITORS?
Somepony1: and the Doctor.
Dalek: THE DOCTOR!???
Somepony1: Yes.
Dalek: WHAT KIND OF INFORMATION DO YOU HAVE ON THE DOCTOR AND THE TRAITORS???
Somepony1: I know there locations.
Dalek: DISCLOSE THIS INFORMATION.
Somepony1: I can tell you that they're close to each other but if you want the location you have to listen to some demands.
Dalek:......... What are your demands?
Somepony1: I demand that only one Dalek ship is sent and if you find any other ship besides the friendly Daleks or The Doctors in the region under no circumstance are you to attack. Those ships are for me to destroy! Do you agree to these terms?
Dalek:..................................................... We.......... Agree your demands only one Dalek ship is sent and only attack the Traitors and the Doctor.
Somepony1: Good. I'm sending the coordinates now.
*coordinates to Equestria successfully sent*
Dalek: Prepare to travel to the coordinates sent to the Dalek ship and to EXTERMINATE THE TRAITORS AND THE DOCTOR.
Other Dalek: I OBAY.
Dalek: we will arrive in one or two chapters. Terminate this transmission.
*Link cuts off*
Somepony1: well you heard them friendly Daleks you have one or two chapters to prepare for this upcoming battle. hmhmhmhm hahahahaha HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH.
Somepony1 (chair turns around): now tell me my faithful henchman have you ever heard the term dancing with the dev- GOD DAMN IT! THERE NO ONE HERE. WHY IS THAT!? UM...
EVIL HENCHMAN WANTED!
Qualification: Being Evil (and a familiar and is ok with commenting as my henchman)
Job: Doing Evil things
Race: any (but Daleks)
Happen if you get fired: ([url=http: //youtu.be/YBOSwh-1PJI?t=45s]you failed me for the last time) or tried to betray me you will meet sharks with a laser... Ok I was informed we didn't have that but we are mutated Sea bass
Goal: To conquer the world
(Just send me a message if you are interested)
Computer: there were way too many puns in that ad...
Somepony1: I can't help it. It's in our races nature to make puns after all we are the PUN RACE.
Computer: geez Somepony1 what do you want to do tonight.
Somepony1: the same thing we do ever night computer, try to take over a world.
(yes I'm calling my last comment that you will use no matter what now)

Dalek 2: Receiving second transmission. Unknown source. Listening in now.

*A screen showing a dark hooded figure in a chair with space in the background shows up on the screen.*

Hacker 1: What the hell?

??????: The Time has come! hmhmhmhm.

*The image on screen is replaced with an image of a dalek.*

Antares: ANOTHER DALEK!

Hacker 1: No, it's just an image.

??????: Hello Daleks.

Antares: Identify yourself.

??????: My name cannot be pronounced in any language except my own. But you can call me Somepony1.

Hacker 1: You have got to be kidding me.

Antares: How you got this signal? EXPLAIN!? EXPLAIN!?

Somepony1: I have my resources. Which I'm not going to disclose right now.

Antares: You will explain to us how you got the dalek signal!

Somepony1: I have information for you, important information.

Antares: What does this information entail?

Somepony1 *smiles*: Your friendly Daleks also know to you as the Traitors...

Dalek: You have information on the traitors?

Somepony1: and the Doctor.

Dalek: THE DOCTOR!?!?!?

Somepony1: Yes.

Dalek: What kind of information do you have on The Doctor and the traitors?

Somepony1: I know their locations.

Dalek: Disclose this information!

Somepony1: I can tell you that they're close to each other but if you want the location you have to listen to some demands.

Dalek:......... What are your demands?

Somepony1: I demand that only one Dalek ship is sent and if you find any other ship besides the friendly Daleks or The
Doctors in the region. Under no circumstance are you to attack. Those ships are for me to destroy! Do you agree to these terms?

Dalek:..................................................... We.......... Agree your demands only one Dalek ship is sent and only attack the
Traitors and the Doctor.

Somepony1: Good. I'm sending the coordinates now.

*coordinates to Equestria successfully sent*

Somepony1: Thank you for your time. Bye bye.

*Screen goes blank*

Dalek: Prepare to travel to the coordinates sent to the Dalek ship and to EXTERMINATE THE TRAITORS AND THE DOCTOR-

Hacker 1: NO, DON'T!!! Don't give that order!

Antares: *turns to him* Explain!

Hacker 1: It's a trick. I know this guy. He's no alien, he's another hacker with a huge grudge against the Daleks.

Antares: Why does he-

Hacker 1: You guys don't exactly have the best track record when it comes to other species. If anything, I'd hazard a guess that he wants The Doctor to destroy you guys.

Antares: *silent for a few moments.* What would you propose we do?

Hacker 1: Inform Swimming Dalek of this... Say, where is he anyway?

Antares: He and one of your other hackers went to see Registered Anonymous.

Hacker 1: Great. Well, don't do anything at all unless he says so. Still.... *walks over to one of the computer terminals, looks over the coordinates* These lead directly to Ponyville... Are there any other daleks on the planet?

Antares: No. No dalek has ever been to this universe.

Hacker 1: Yeah, that's what I thought, and The Doctor wouldn't be here cause another human would stick out like *stops, suddenly realizes something.* Unless......

Antares: Explain!

Hacker 1: Nana.

Nana: What is it?

Hacker 1: Contact the AIA.

-Meanwhile, somewhere in Appaloosa-

Nana: Director, the Daleks are performing a test on R.A. If you are interested, you could view it. The Hackers here and I can take it from here.
GR: Ah! Finally some bit of action. What is the test exactly?
Nana: No pony is sure yet, Director, except it involved all the daleks onboard the Caeser. Whatever it is, it is meant to analyze R.A's capabilities...
GR: I see... Nana, also send the video coordinates of whichever part of the ship they are partaking the test in to our big-glass-screened computer. Horse apples the ship is big... The lab ponies and operatives down here might be interested in R.A's development as well...
Nana: Yes, Sir.
GR (at the computer, mumbling with a serious face on the video chat): Great. *Click. clicklick* Oh, looks like he's pointing a metal stick at... Is that armor made of what I think it is...?
Hacker: For a pony, he's quite a pretty cool guy.
Nana: Yes, but he is also a hoof full to deal with. The lab ponies and a few others there seem to agree. The operatives on the other hoof...
*At headquarters*
Operative: Light the fusses, pardner~!
Lab-Pony: No! Don't put too much pressure on th– *BOOM*
Operative: Yooowee~ Cattlebuskits broke mah barn, I love mah job!
*Back at the ship*
Nana: Yeah... Since the Appaloosa Intelligence was established recently, It'll take some time to get the workers disciplined. Especially when most of them are cowponies and farmers...
Hacker: Whatever organization Equestria is running, I'm going to work there some day if it is that awesome!
Nana: Figures...

Nana: Director, the Daleks are performing some kind of test on Registered Anonymous. If you are interested, you could view it. The Hackers here and I can take it from here.

Grey Rebl: Ah! Finally a bit of action. What is the test exactly?

Nana: No pony is sure yet, Director, except it involved all the daleks onboard the Caeser. Whatever it is, it is meant to analyze R.A's capabilities...

GR: I see... Nana, also send the video coordinates of whichever part of the ship they are partaking the test in to our big-glass-screened computer. *shows video* Horse apples the ship is big. The lab ponies and operatives down here might be interested in R.A's development as well.

Nana: Yes, Sir.... Sir, incoming transmission from the bridge of the Caesar.

GR: *sigh, I guess the action will have to wait, put it on screen.

*Hacker 1 appears on screen with several daleks around him.*

Hacker 1: Grey.

GR: Yes, that's me, what is it?

Hacker 1: We need you and your organization to do something for us.

GR: FINALLY! We've been sitting here for ages with nothing to do. Tell me, what us to do. If you need us to blow stuff up, I tell ya there's-

Hacker 1: We need you to send an agent of yours... or more if you can, to Ponyville to find some pony for us.

GR: *silent...* Really....

Hacker 1: Really.

GR: That's it?

Hacker 1: Yep.

GR: *sigh* All right, I suppose we could spare an agent or two? But can I at least still watch RA get the crap kicked out of him... if that is what's gonna happen?

Hacker 1: *sigh.* Sure.

GR: Great! Now, who is this pony?

Hacker 1: He's called The Doctor.

GR: Doctor huh, nice name. Now how will we know this pony when we see him?

Hacker 1: I..... I actually have no idea.

GR: What do you mean you have no idea?

Hacker 1: *sigh* This is going to take a long time to explain.

-Meanwhile, somewhere else on The Caesar-

R.A.: Soooooo.... what's this test you are going to be giving me S.D.? ......Hey I just noticed something funny! If I put a T in-between your S and D initials for your name it actually spells out into S.T.-

Hacker: NO DON'T DO IT R.A. JUST LISTEN TO SWIMMING AND DO THE TEST AND NOTHING ELSE!

R.A.: ...........What? *puts on the most innocent face possible... even though he is wearing a mask and no one can see it*

Hacker: *face palms* Just-Just explain to R.A. what the test is if you would please Swimming. My sanity depends on it.

*Registered Anonymous, Swimming Dalek, another hacker, and two drone Daleks are walking through a hallway*

Registered Anonymous: Sooooooooo... what's this test you're going to give me SD? Hey, I just noticed something funny! If I put a T in between your S and D initials, then it spells ST-

Hacker 2: FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HERE RA DON'T! JUST LISTEN TO SWIMMING DALEK AND DO THE TEST!!! AND NOTHING ELSE!!!

RA: Do what? *puts on the most innocent smile possible, which is pointless since he is wearing a mask*

Hacker 2: *face palms* Just... just explain to him what exactly this test is if you would please Swimming. My sanity depends on it.

Swimming Dalek: It's all right. I've been called worse things.

Hacker 2: I'm not worried about your sanity, I'm worried about mine.

SD: *sigh* Well, in any case, you'll find out what the test is in a moment. We-

*They all stop in their tracks as they see someone standing there. A six foot even human that looks like this*

???: What's up SD.

SD: Who the hell are you and how did you get on my ship?

???: I think you have an idea. I'm just here to tell you that all your efforts to figure out just who the hell I am are going to end up failing since-

RA: HEY HEY HEY Who are-

???: RA, stand at attention and be completely silent.

*RA does so without any question.

Hacker 2: What the fuck...

SD: *pulls out pistol and points it right at his head.* Who the hell are-

???: That's completely unnecessary, that gun's not going to fire.

SD: Talk or I'll make it fire.

???: All right. Let me put this in a way that you can understand, since you are trying SO HARD to figure it out.

SD: I've never even met you. Why would I want to know who you are?

???: Really. Those voice in the back of your head that direction your actions. Not one of them ever wondered just who I was?

SD: *stops in shock and lowers his gun*

???: Thought so. Yes, I know about them. You all have them, and the only reason they direct you in any way is cause I allow it. Still, you've been trying to figure out just who the hell I am recently, and since you are such a nice guy I'd thought I'd tell you in a way you can understand.

*pauses for a moment.

???: There's really no real way to describe what I am. To you guys, the closest thing would be either the white or the black guardian, to those on the Enterprise, ask them if the name Q rings a bell. It won't but ask them anyway, and to RA. Well, I'm the cat in the vending machine. Basically, in this story. I am god.

Pinkie Pie: And I'm his FAVORITE PONY!!!

Everyone except the daleks: GAH!!!

???: PINKIE PIE!!!

PP: Oop, sorry.

???: It's okay. *starts scratching behind her ears, apparently she likes that* Yeah, since she seems to have near omnipotence in the show I let her indulge a little bit. Although, Pinkie Pie, don't you have somewhere to be right now? Some candy-based weaponry to hand out.

PP: Oh right! Masterweaver's last comment! Speaking of which. *punches him in the face with a hoof* THAT'S FOR TROLLING HIS COMMENTS!!!

???: PINKIE WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS I DIDN'T TROLL HIM!!!

PP: YES YOU-

???: Whatever, just go.

PP: *suddenly happy again* Okay. Bye bye. I'll see you later in the chapter. *suddenly disappears*

*??? Looks over to see everyone staring at him with a look of absolute confusion on their faces, except for RA, who is still standing at attention.*

???: Yeah, she does that sometimes. Anyway. I'm just here to clear that up. Now, I really must be going. Oh, and before you ask. No, I won't stop Nyarlathotep. I could, but I'm not going to. It wouldn't be any fun at all for you guys that way if I just did everything. Plus, I wouldn't dream of taking away the satisfaction you all would get when you defeat him yourselves. So yeah... Now that that is done, I really must be off.

*turns around and starts to walk away*

???: Oh and by the way, two things. 1.) Somepony1 wants to see your fleet destroyed because he has an intense hatred for Daleks. Don't worry. I support your reformed fleet and I'm not gonna let them get destroyed. Thanks to him he's helped set events in motion that were going to happen at some point. Though, eventually, he's going to have a make a choice. A choice that only he can make cause he's been asking for it since this story began...

SD: And the other thing?

???: Oh, another human has just showed up in the Everfree forest and is waiting for contact from you guys. In fact.

I wasn't saying that I was going to be V. It was a suggestion for the main story plot. I was going to be in a different position.
Anyway description is here.
BRP
Description: Stealth based human fighter that tends to stick it alone. He is tall, wears matte black armor which is always silent and a helmet with a half face visor. It shows off a chiselled jaw with stubble from two days unshaved. Underneath the armor, he wears a black jumpsuit designed to absorb sounds and smells of the body.
Arrived: He was testing a new method of interstellar flight when his ship was impacted by a meteor storm. It was destroyed before entering orbit and he only survived by he managing to get into an escape pod. His pod was designed to break up in the cloud layer and drop the occupant with a parachute and a beacon. The beacon was broken as the pod shattered and he landed on Equestria alone, spending the next few days in contact with no one.
Joins group by picking up a transmission between Greyrebl at the AIA and Commander Swimming Dalek on the reformed Dalek ship the Caesar in orbit. He is currently hiding out in the everfree forest, awaiting orders and carving arrows.
Equipment:
Compound bow (Silent ranged killing method. Can’t penetrate armor without using special arrows.)
100 Carved wooden arrows (easily replaceable. But are fairly brittle and tend to break on removal.)
Special arrows (all irreplaceable without technology superior to that of Equestria):
5 explosive arrows( that do what they say on the box. Irretrievable)
10 armor piercing arrows (retrievable but can only be used so many times before breaking)
2 flare arrows (irretrievable fired into the air to illuminate an area or to cause a distraction)
15 tranquilizer arrows (a lighter shaft and tapered needle point that injects enough serum to bring down an elephant without serious injury. Can be retrieved and refilled using herbs from the everfree forest.)
Dual knives (silent melee killing method. In passive stealth mode, knife attacks ignore armor because BRP has time to find gaps and use them)
Wrist computer: a screen that allows him access to wireless communications, data storage space, topographical mapping by scanner (doesn’t detect life forms), an AI hacking program and Tetris.
Perks/Special abilities:
Soloist: significantly stealthier when working alone.
Delusions of grandeur: Believes he is invincible and gets into problems that are near insoluble.
Scout: Is used to moving and fighting in unfamiliar terrain.
Short attention span: Tends to revert to other pass times while bored such as watching the vast amounts of anime stored on his wrist computer.
Stealthy: Is infrequently detected by sensors, eyes, ears or smell.
Overspecialized: excels in stealth combat. However, a bow and knives are not really optimal weapons for overt fighting.
British accent: sounds very classy (Even though it is a Manchester accent as opposed to upper class). Increases his awesomeness to near endless bounds. (I actually have one. That’s why it’s added here).
Let me know if there is anything that you disapprove of.

That's everything you need to know about him. I recommend having the Enterprise crew beam him up to their ship and then transport him here over to the Caesar once you get the chance. As to where you got this information, don't worry, I just had one of your fellow Daleks detect him just now, so they know about him too. They won't bother you about it until after the test is over though, so you don't have to worry about it now. It's up to you whether you want to let him help you or not, but hey, I'm only god in this story. Oh, and don't worry about the Orz. I won't let them destroy you guys either. Anyway, it was nice talking to you. Now, I do believe that you had a test to get to.

*walks way and turns down the hall, when they look, he is gone*

RA *suddenly unfrozen*: SOOOOOOOO Shall we get going. OOOOh can I bake some cookies afterwards? You all look so tense and the best way to resolve tenseness is by eating some cookies.

SD: Right... Anyway! Come on, we're just about there.

*A few more moments of walking later, they all enter a large, circular room with a pit in the middle and several daleks surrounding it.*

RA: OOh, a PIT. What's it for, are we-

*SD shoves RA into the pit, he falls flat on his face.*

Hacker 2: What the hell? What was that for.

*SD ignore him and drops down into the pit with RA, where he walks around so that he is on the opposite side of the pit from him. RA just gets back up on his feet.*

SD: Now *pulls out both his guns* Show me what you can do?

RA: Is this a fight! *asks excitedly*

SD: Yes, yes it is.

RA: YAY!!!!!!

-Meanwhile, in Canterlot somewhere-

Risen Flag was just walking happily through the streets of Canterlot back towards the palace with Trixie at his side and Joseph Curwen at his other side.

"Baby can you dig your man," he sang to himself happily.

"Umm, Risen," Trixie hesitantly asked him.

"Yes," Risen replied to her in that same, sweet way he always did.

"If... if you don't mind me asking. What exactly is that song you're singing?" she asked him.

"Oh this," Risen said to her. "It's just something I heard a long time ago. You see I-" Right before he could say another word to explain it though, he looked up into the sky to see several bowling balls dropping from the sky on him. "Oh FOR THE LOVE OF!!!" Risen practically screamed as he grabbed every single one of them with his magic, and with a flash of white light, they were all gone. "I swear I will kill whoever is doing that," he said with a growl. Trixie just remained silent, as did Curwen.

"Well," Discord said from atop one of the nearby buildings, "Someone is making this difficult." The moment he said that last bit, he disappeared from sight.

-Meanwhile, in Celestia's royal chambers-

Princess Celestia: Do something of import to the plot.

"Princess Celestia!" one of the royal guards said to her as he walked into the room with a scroll tucked under his wing.

"Yes, what is it?" Celestia said to him as she took the scroll from him with her magic.

"This just came in from the Flag Industrial Works factory in Las Pegasus. Something about a rather large shipment to the palace." With that, Celestia unrolled the scroll and held it in front of her face so she could read it.

"Ah yes, I see," she said as she read it. After she was done with it, she rolled it back up and handed it to the guard. "Approve the shipment and inform Risen Flag when he returns."

"Yes, your majesty," the guard said as he turned and left the room.

-Meanwhile, in the palace library-

Princess Luna: Do something awesome that happens to be of import to the plot.

Luna was sitting on her bean bag chair in the palace library reading another volume of Sandmare when suddenly, something hit her. Figuratively of course. She put the book down and looked forward as if she had to run that way.

"BY SCOTT THAT IS GREAT!!!" She said to nopony in particular, unsure of why she chose that exact phrase to say. "We feel as if we must do something awesome and important!" And with that, she teleported out of the room.

-Meanwhile, in the Mayor's office in Ponyville-

Mayor: Be in your offics, frazzled as Hay and trying to make sense of the finances at the exact sme time Applejack is approached by the Mayor. Wait what?

"By Celestia!" Mayor Mare said to nopony in particular as she went through the mountain of financial paperwork on her desk. "This is going to take more than a week to get through." It was at that point that she dreaded giving her secretary today off. Not that she didn't need it, she did, but it was only now when she was gone that she remembered just how much crap she helped her deal with on a regular basis... As well as a few other things.

"Hmm.... what's this?" she said to herself as she pulled out another paper and read through it. Part of the title read 'Sweet Apple Acres.' "No, no no no this can't be right." She said as she read through it, and then read through it again to make sure she read it right. "I should go talk to them about this." she said to herself as she took the paper, dropped it into a nearby saddlebag and headed for the door.

Right before she opened it though, she stopped and looked back at the mountains of paperwork on her desk. Paperwork that she still had to get through. The matter with the Apple family really wasn't all that important, but still needed looking into. She looked back at the door, then back to the paperwork. She argued with herself mentally about whether to go talk to the Apple family about a minor financial matter or do the mountain of paperwork that her secretary could easily help her with tomorrow. When she thought about it like that, she didn't even need a moment to deicde what to do.

She left her office and headed straight for Sweet Apple Acres.

-Meanwhile, in the Crystal Empire-

Princess Cadance: After having sex with your husband, end up in Ponyville with said husband and no idea how you got here.

"Ah," Princess Cadence said to herself as she fell down onto the bed next to her husband after some furious lovemaking with him. There was a reason she married him after all. "You know," she said after a moment. "We should really visit Ponyville sometime."

"What?" Shining Armor said as he turned to look at her.

"It'll be great to see your sister again, and all her friends. They're all so nice."

"Yeah, I agree," Shining Armor said. "But we have so much to do here. The Equestria Games are coming up after all."

"I know," Caedence replied. "Still, it would be nice not to think about any of that for a while."

"Yeah," Shining Armor agreed as he rolled over on top of her. "I can't really argue with that."

"Oh and by the way," Cadence said as Shining Armor started kissing her. "I stopped using the protection spell about a week ago.... Shining..." Shining Armor didn't respond. He couldn't have responded even if he wanted to.

-Meanwhile, in the Everfree Forest-

Kirk: I'm sorry, ma'am, but this is an internal matter. NOW TELL ME EVERYTHING!

Gordon: Look, I'm not part of....

He stopped, looking over towards Zecora, before lowering his voice to a minimal so she couldn't hear.

Gordon: I'm not a part of your timeline. Hell, I don't know if I'm in the right dimension. If I am, they got it very accurate at home.

Kirk: What?

Gordon: Look, I'm fro ma secret government agency, stationed in New Mexico, where they were experimenting with inter-dimensional travel. It was in 1997 when an incident happened, which, to make a long story short, ended with me in Starfleet, eventually earning a place on your crew. As for how I know so much about this place, I'm pretty sure that if I said why, all of reality would fold in on itself, killing us all. In fact, I piloted us through a dimensional rift to get here anyway. Oh, and My suit and crowbar experience are from the government facility I worked in.

He was rewarded in his truth telling by a double-fist-punch to the face, causing Zecora to rush forward to help him. Gordon, for his part, merely ground out what almost sounded like a fanboy squeal, albeit muffled by his now-bloody nose.

Zecora: What could prompt you to be so cruel? And tread very lightly, take me not for a fool!

Kirk: Well, he was withholding information for our mission of... uhh... exploration in these woods.

Zecora stared blankly at him, before shaking her head.

Zecora: Now you dare try to lie around your tooth? Stop it now, I want the truth!

Kirk: uhhh....

Kirk: Um... I'm sorry ma'am, but this is an internal matter. *turns back to Gordon Freebrony* NOW TELL ME EVERYTHING!

Gordon Freebrony: Look, I'm... *Stops for a moment, looks over at Zecora, then lowers his voice to a whisper so that only Kirk can hear* I'm not part of your timeline. Hell, I don't know if I'm in the right dimension. If I am, then they got it very accurate at home.

K: What are you talking about?

GF: Look, I'm from a secret government agency stationed in New Mexico, where they were experimenting with inter-dimensional travel. It was in 1997 in my world when an incident happened, which, to make a long story short, ended with me in Starfleet, and eventually earning a place on your crew. As for how I know so much about this place, I'm pretty sure that if I told you why, all of reality would fold in on itself, killing us all. In fact, I piloted us through a dimensional rift to get here anyway. Oh, and My suit and crowbar experience are from the government facility I worked in.

*There is silence between them for a few moments. Kirk breaks it by punching Gordon in the face, and then again with his other hand, knocking Gordon to the ground and causing him to start bleeding from his nose. Just as Kirk is about to kick him, Zecora steps in between the two of them.

Zecora: What could prompt you to be so cruel? And tread very lightly, take me not for a fool!

K: Well, he was withholding information for our mission of... uhh... *stumbles for a moment* exploration of these woods.

Z: Now you dare try to lie around your tooth? Stop it now, I want the truth!

K: Umm....

*Spock puts his hand on Kirk's shoulder and then steps forward.*

-Meanwhile, not to far away-

Vortigaunts: Appear in the Everfree forest. Comment on the situation. Do nothing else for five chapters.

Vortigaunt 1: The Freeman seems to be having some difficulty dealing with the situation he has found himself in.

Vortigaunt 2: Fear not. Trust has been established. The striped one should be able to help him here in this new world.

Pinkie Pie: A storm's a coming. You best start handing out candy-based weaponry to all the minors in town!

Rainbow Dash: Be technically a minor. Be suitably embarrassed by this revelation.

"Here you go," Pinkie Pie said as she handed Rainbow Dash some.... thing... that looked like a cross between licorice and a baseball bat.

"Uhh, Pinkie," Rainbow Dash said to her as she looked down at the bat, then back to her, then down at the bat, then back to her. "What the hay is this?"

"It's a licorice bat," Pinkie Pie said as if it was obvious. "Duh!!!"

"Okay..." Rainbow Dash replied, though was still thoroughly confused. "Why are you giving me a licorice bat?"

"Because," Pinkie said as she tiled her head to the side a little bit farther than she should have. "A storm is coming and I have to give out candy weapons to all the minors in town."

"Oooohhhhh," Rainbow Dash said as she understood that. She was still thoroughly confused, though given that the subject at hand was Pinkie Pie, she knew not to ask any questions. "Wait!" she said as the meaning of the last part of that comment finally hit her. "Then why are you giving on to me?" Pinkie Pie only giggled at that before answering.

"Because you're a minor silly," she said.

"Oh, oh," Rainbow Dash said as a blush started to creep up on her face. It was true, she was, wait, no she wasn't. "Wait, no I'm not!"

"Of course you are," Pinkie Pie said as she straitened her head back up. "We're all minors here." At that, the only look that Rainbow Dash could possibly give her was the same one she to any little filly who was disastrously wrong about something.

"Pinkie..." Rainbow Dash said. "Do you even know the legal age here in Equestria?"

"I DON'T KNOW!!!" Pinkie said as she held out her hoof, looking more than a little annoyed. "My pinkie senses told me that a storm was coming so I just started handing out candy weapons, I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition."

Suddenly, they were both interrupted by some kind of loud, ominous music tone as three ponies wearing red robes showed up out of nowhere. One wore a very large red hat, one a aviator's helmet, and the other a red hoof.

"NOPONY EXPECTS THE-" The one in the hat started to speak before Pinkie Pie interrupted him.

"OOH OOH!!!" Pinkie said as she started bouncing up and down. "The Spanish Inquisition! I knew you'd show up!"

"WHAT!?" The red hatted Stallion said in surprise... and fear... fear and surprise... and an almost fanatical devotion to Celestia. "How could you possible know that we would show up! Nopony is supposed to expect the Spanish Inquisition."

"You're from Browndog77's story," Pinkie said as she had to keep herself from laughing so hard. "It was so funny, I-"

PINKIE STOP BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL! NOW IS NOT THE TIME!!!

"Sorry," *throws on a puppy dog face*

*sigh* Let's just skip to another meanwhile.

-Meanwhile, in the Spa in Ponyville-

Rarity: Well this all has been embarrassing, so you should probably consort with Fluttershy at the local spa on how to properly apologize to Jason.

Fluttershy: Secretly be in love with Rarity, and just about ready to confess.

"And then even after Jason told me that we couldn't be together I STILL kept doing this for him to make him notice me," Rarity said to her friend Fluttershy while the two of them were getting massages. It was their spa day today after all.

"I'm... I'm so sorry Rarity," was all Fluttershy could say to her.

"Oh, I've just been acting horribly. By Celestia I could not even call myself a lady!" Rarity went on, as was her want. "How do I even apologize to someone I've treated so horribly!?"

Fluttershy just did what she did best, she just sat there and listened. In truth though, she didn't know what to say, though she did know that it sometimes felt better to talk about things with another pony. Though really, Rarity's words only hurt her more, and Rarity didn't even know it or could even comprehend why.

For the longest time, Fluttershy had been in love with Rarity. Not just Rarity, all of her friends. ALL of them... even the ones that weren't her close friends... She wanted to do it with every single pony she knew. In fact, she was in love with everyone she knew. In fact, in fact, she could only dream of a massive orgy between herself, all of her friends, and now that Jason was in the picture, she wouldn't have minded having him in the mix too. Yeah, she was lonely.

She'd kept the fact that she was essentially a sex obsessed maniac from her friends for the longest time, but today she had planned to confess to them one by one, starting with Rarity since it was their Spa day together and she figured that she would understand better than any of them... BUT then this came up.

So, Fluttershy just let Rarity talk and said what she could to help her sort out her problem. It appeared as if her plans to confess would have to wait for another day... again.

-Meanwhile, at Sweet Apple Acres-

Applejack: While working the farm you are approached by none other then the mayor! She just needs you to look over some legal paperwork regarding Sweet Apple Acres, nothing too important, but maybe we should discuss it over a drink?

Applejack wiped the sweat off of her brow as she just finished delivering another cart of apples back to the barn. Without Jason here it was a bit of a hassle to do it all on her own, but she'd been doing it herself long before he showed up, so she managed.

"Oh Applejack!" she suddenly heard somepony call her, startling her a little bit. She spun around the second she heard it to see the mayor standing there.

"Oh, howdy mayor," Applejack said to her as she regained her composure and walked over to her. "What can Ah do fer ya?"

"Oh, nothing major," Mayor Mare said to her. "Just need you to look over some legal paperwork regarding Sweet Apple Acres." At that, Applejack suddenly got a worried look on her face. "It's nothing too important, you're not in danger of losing your farm or anything, but I was hoping that you could discuss it with me."

"Oh, okay," Applejack said as she walked away with the mayor to discuss whatever legal matter was affecting Sweet Apple Acres.

-Meanwhile, in the farmhouse-

Big Mac: Consort with Granny Smith, since you're both members of the Holy Order of Stability and can feel the tides. It might be time to bring out your magic sword at last. Also ensure you haven't been shunted to a side canon.

"And that is why we as the holy order of stability have to fight preserve the order of preservation," Granny Smith said to Big Macintosh as he sat there listening to her. "It might be time to break out the magic sword again. Ah think."

"Uh, Granny," Big Macintosh said to her, slightly worried. "What are you talkin about?"

"You dreamed of me," Granny Smith said to Big Macintosh. "Am I the boogeyman?" Big Macintosh just looked back at her with the most confused look on his face ever.

-Meanwhile, back in the Ponyville Library-

Spike: Do something awesome that is not relevant to the plot at all.

"FUS RO DAH!!!" Spike shouted at the top of his dragon lungs, and as he did, the table in front of him was suddenly flipped over by the sheer, raw power of his voice and sent flying across the room.

"Wow," Spike said as he stared in awe at the damage he'd done. "I wonder why Twilight didn't want me knowing anything about the dragon language." He said to Owlowiscious, who gently flew down and landed right next to him. "This is awesome."

"Who?" Owlowiscious said in response.

-Meanwhile, with the quarry eels-

Quarry Eels: Oh no wait, they've been brutally slaughtered, moving on.

-Meanwhile, in a parallel universe where ponies occasionally mistake their hoof for a dragon-

"IT'S A DRAGON! A DRAGON!! GET IT AWAY FROM ME!!! GET IT AWAY!!!!" Lyra screamed as Bon Bon ran down the stairs to see that Lyra was backing into the wall away from... her own hoof.

"Lyra, it's just your hoof," she said to her. At that, Lyra stopped for a moment and looked back at her hoof.

"Oooooohhhhhhhhh, Thanks Bonnie," she said with the same stupid grin on her face she always wore.

-Meanwhile, in reality-

Razor: FUCK I'M STILL NOT DONE WITH THIS CHAPTER!!! GOD DAMN IT MASTERWEAVER!!!!

-Meanwhile, back to the main story (f*cking finally)-

Random Flower: ....why the heck are you even part of this story? Seriously? Science Woona explain this!

You and the other cutie mark crusaders walked right past a random flower that happened to be there for no reason as you made your way farther into the apple orchard towards the tree Applebloom was talking about.

As your walking with the girls, you stop to notice something stuck to a nearby tree. It's a red balloon. You're curious why it's there, and ask Ghost Pinkie if she knows something, but she's clueless. As your, looking at it, you start to feel a bit scared, but you don't know why. However, before you can investigate further, you hear the girls calling you. You decided to drop what you're doing and follow them, and when you look back at the tree, the balloon has vanished.

As you walk with them, you notice something stuck in a nearby tree. Something that appears to be.... a red balloon. It's just sitting there, stuck in a tree. You're kind of curious as to why it's out here, though for the life of you you can't imagine why. You look over to Ghost Pinkie Pie to see if she knows anything, but she just shrugs. Apparently she's just as clueless as you are. The longer you look at it though, the more you feel... well, not exactly scared, but sort of nervous, like you know something is about to happen. You can feel it in your-

"We're here!" Applebloom suddenly shouts, distracting you for a moment. You look ahead to see her and the three other crusaders just ahead of you, so you walk a little faster to catch up with them. Still, you look back at the balloon again, only to see that it's gone. It's weird, it's like it was never even there, yet it was, you can CLEARLY remember seeing it.

Jason: Well you've set the ground rules and you've got a tree in mind so just keep an eye on the Crusaders and make sure they all stick together on the way to the tree. Once Applebloom takes you to the tree inspect it to see if it's up to your safety standards, and then let the Crusaders get to trying to be Lumberjacks. Let them try to do it themselves without really butting in as long as they stay within safety rules, and of course be ready to react if something goes wrong.

During Jason's exciting lumberjack trip he and the cutie mark crusaders will eventually run into a lumberjack's worse enemy! SAP!!!!!

Jason, you must make sure to equip each pony with saftey gear first. Revise your rules now that you've met them. Otherwise, have fun!

As you start to think about it you haven't taken a poop in a long time. "It's true"

Well, grab an axe, put on a helmet and maybe some goggles if you fell like it.
Time to get out there and chop some trees down!
Time to be a leader, regardles of the fact that they are just childeren!
Just don't lose your head, or anypony else's head while your at it...
NOW GET OUT THERE AND BE THE BEST DAMN LUMBERJACK EQUESTRIA HAS EVER SEEN!!!

In the event that they need help lumberjacking, help them with your pen.
[...]
What do you mean, "You cannot lumberjack with a pen"
[...]
Well, I don't know, it's HIS pen. He should know.
[...]
Oh, shut up.

Have Appleloom show you a tree to cut down. Allow CMC to cut down a tree following all your safety guidelines.

Cutie Mark Crusaders: As per tradition, disturb the homes of mythological creatures entierely accidentally and force Jason to deal with the shenigans, getting covered in tree sap along the way.

Meh, you just chalk it up to being nothing. After all, you're here to help these little ponies become lumberjacks.... as silly as that idea sounds to you. So, with that in mind, you head down the pathway in front of you over to where they are waiting for you. Applebloom is standing there pointing to her right. Once you get there, you turn to look where she is pointing and see.....

The biggest God damned tree you've ever seen in your entire life.

NO SERIOUSLY, BY THE BEARDS OF GOD, ODIN, AND ZEUS, THIS THING WAS FRIGGIN HUGE!!! It was about as big around as the Apple Family farmhouse, and it was taller than any tree you've seen out here by far. It was the Paul Bunyan of trees. Suddenly, you feel your need to keep these kids away from any lumberjacking related diseases diminishing if they seriously want to take this thing down. You also start to wonder why the hell you haven't seen this tree before. It's not like it would be hard to miss.

"Uhh...." is all you can say. Seriously, it is. You're in such awe of this tree right now that you cannot say a damn thing else.

"Well," Scootaloo said as she walked up right next to you. "Come on, let us have those axes. We're gonna cut down this tree!!!" She said that with such enthusiasm that she almost believed it was possible.

You honestly cannot believe this. You had the whole day any everything planned out for this. Find some decent tree, maybe steer them away from it to a smaller one if it was too large, and then watch them swing at the tree, enforcing the safety rules where it applied (you even considered making them wear the helmets and goggles anyway as a safety measure. Sure they'd fight with you, but you expected that), and watching them cheer with joy when they succeeded or aww in anguish when they inevitably gave up.

Also it occurs to you that you haven't gone to the bathroom in a while for some reason. Maybe it was because you did before you left.

"Well," Applebloom says as she walks up to you. "Come on Jason. Let us at it." It's at that point you suddenly find the will to speak again.

"Uhh, Applebloom," you say. "Why in the name of EVERYTHING do you want to chop down THIS tree?"

"Cause Diamond Tiara said that we should chop down the mightiest tree in the forest with a herring," she said, seemingly oblivious to EVERYTHING. "Of course we know choppin in it down with a herrin is impossible, but Ah thought if we could cut it down we'd definitely get our cutie marks." She says that with the most adorable smile possible.

"Uhh...." is all you say.

"What," Sweetie Belle says as she walks up to you. "Do you think we can't do it?"

"Honestly," you say. "I don't think even Paul Bunyan could do it?"

"Who's Paul Bunyan?" Sweetie Belle asks.

"A three hundred foot tall giant who chopped down trees.... LOOK THAT'S NOT THE POINT!" you say to them. "Can't you guys just pick a smaller tree or something?"

"But we wanna cut down THIS tree," Applebloom says in desperation. This is starting to get sillier and sillier by the minute. It only occurs to you now what kind of wildlife may life in that tree that you could potentially anger if you cut it down.

"Look," you say as you put down the lumberjacking equipment and walk on over to it. "If you try to cut down this tree," you say to them as you hit it with the back of your hand a few times. "I'm not even joking when I say it's literally gonna take you a couple months. Possibly longer." It's at that point that you look back over to see Applebloom and Scootaloo trying to pick up one of the axes. Turns out you were right, they were kind of heavy for them.

"NO!" you scream at them as you run back over to them. "Drop the axe NOW!" you say, and they do it almost immediately. They seem kind of scared by your sudden outburst. Almost to afraid to move.

"But... but..." Applebloom says, it almost seems as if she is on the verge of crying now, as is Sweetie Belle. GAH you can't stand to see that now. With that, you just let out a sigh, kneel down, and put your hand on her shoulder, or at the very least what you assume is her shoulder.

"Look," you say to them. "You're never gonna cut this tree down now. But..." you say to them, which makes them all look back up at you. "If you pick a smaller tree to start, and get better. Then maybe eventually we can come back to this tree and cut it down. Basically, what I'm saying is that this tree is your end goal. Start small, and maybe, eventually you'll be able to take down the bigger ones. Hell," you say to them, "I was small once." At that, they all look up to you. "I was small just like you, and I thought I always had to take down the biggest things first, but you know what." Now they seem to be listening to you. "Eventually I learned that doing things that way doesn't get you anywhere, but, if you start small and work and work and work until you become the best, then eventually, nothing can stand in your way, not even a tree like that."

"R... really?" Sweetie Belle says first, oddly enough.

"Yes," you say to them. "Really." With that, you stand back up. "You just have to learn to get better at something, not start fighting a challenge that you know you will lose." After you say that, you pause for a moment and look down at them. They teary look in their eyes is gone now. "Now," you say to them. "What say we find another tree and REALLY start lumberjacking! Right!?"

"Right!?" all three of them say. "CUTIE MARK CRUSADER LUMBERJACKS TAKE TWO!!!!!"

Thankfully, this time you remembered to cover your ears.

"And Ah know the perfect tree to start with!" Applebloom says with excitement. Somehow, that doesn't make you feel better.

"Lead the way!" Scootaloo said. Almost immediately after they say that, the three of them run off and run down the path they came from, leaving you there all alone. You... kind of almost expected that really.

With you alone, you let out a sigh and turn back around to look over at the ENORMOUS tree.

"Seriously, how the f*ck did I never notice you before?" you say to no one in particular as you look at it. You stare for a few more moments you turn back around.

As for commenting on the main story, it does feel a little slow right now.

The moment you turn back around to face the trail though, you see something that.... makes you stop dead in your tracks and mentally go "What the f*ck am I looking at?"

In front of you was a pony that you've never seen before, a pony that for all intents and purposes could best be described as a clown. He wore what you could only assume was white clown make up and had a curly, candy-red color mane arranged on the sides of this head, but none on the top, as if the top was somehow completely shaved of his mane. He wore some kind of yellow jumpsuit with frilled cuffs at the end of each hoof and three fuzzy, red balls on the underside. The thing that was possibly the most disturbing about him though, was the red clown nose that he wore on the end of his snout.

"Hi," the clown pony said to you in what sounded like an oddly British voice.

The next moment is... kind of a complete blur to you, but the only thing you knew for certain was that you were suddenly knocked back into the incredibly large tree behind you. It felt like you were hit by some kind of truck. You didn't even know you moved. You were hit hard enough to get the wind knocked out of you, and you were pretty sure there was a you sized indent in the tree behind you.

The clown thing didn't even move. Did he even do that? That wasn't possible, was it?

As you lay there at the edge of the tree trying to catch your breathe, you just looked over at the strange clown pony, who just stood there and smiled. You then took a moment to blink, and when you opened your eyes, he was right in front of you, inches away from your face. It was like he didn't move, he was just sort of, there, almost like he teleported.

"I'm terribly sorry," the clown pony said to you. "But it's time for you to die now." With that, the clown pony just smiled with an almost cat like grin that showed his teeth. By all that was holy they weren't normal, pony teeth. They were very long, very sharp, and very brown. They looked almost like incisor teeth that you would see on a velociraptor or something like that, something for eating meat. Basically, they were teeth that should in no way exist on ponies.

What do you do?

Next Chapter:

PONY.... Well I guess it's not Pony Kombat since neither of the participants are really ponies... Oh well...

PONY KOMBAT!!!!! - Jason Morgan vs Haypennywise the Clown

Yes, I am completely serious. You take control of Jason's actions as he takes on Haypennywise the Clown, and this time, it really is a matter of life and death. Give some good advice people.... And some of you were complaining this was getting to slow :pinkiehappy:

Oh, and for those of you in the side story. DON'T EVEN THINK OF MAKING YOUR GUYS HELP JASON Cause I won't let you. Not now. Jason has to take care of this problem himself. You can still give advice to him but yeah, keep your guys out of this. In fact, I'm gonna put your little side story on hold for the next few chapters until this is dealt with. So yeah...

Good luck everyone.

Author's Note

Status: Edited

Blazewings thunder: 3
Masterweaver: 0
somepony1: 0

F*CK ME THAT WAS A LONG CHAPTER!!!

P͞ON̷Y͜ K͢O҉MBA̷T/͞B͡O̶S̀S B̶A̛T͢TLE: J̡a͟son M͏o̡r͏g͢a̷n͝ vs͠ Ha̴y͝pe͢n͏nywise͜ t͢h͠e Clo͡wn҉

Jason Morgan vs Haypennywise the Clown
Blinded By Fear - At the Gates

Channel your inner Bill Denbrough and perform the ritual of Chud

Jason: You are fighting a powerful opponent beyond your normal skill, so if you can channel Sherlock Holmes and/or Batman because they know how to take down enemies that outmatch them in physique.

Shit, shit shit shit shit. So this enemy is apparently wanting to kill you and the characters you have channeled are sherlock holmes and batman.

Ok Jason this is what you do, first since you are channeling your inner Sherlock Holmes-

Fourthly, when confronting him again, man up, replace your Doctor channel slot with Clint Eastwood and call the clown out.
"SHUT YER FUCKING FACE TIM CURRY!!!" That should stop his damn laughing. Fight smart and avoid his teeth, and keep making your way back to civilization.

Fictional characters you are currently channeling:

1.) Doctor Who

2.) King Arthur

You seem to be forgetting two very important things about character channeling.

1.) You forgot who you were channeling. You have to remember that.

2.) You can only switch out characters when you're in passive mode, and being throwing into a huge damn tree directly behind you catapulted you directly into active mode, so you can't switch out characters now.

A quick refresher on what that means.

Passive: When you aren't doing anything or are at rest. Good examples of this are sitting on a couch or waking up from a very restful sleep.

Active: Anything that requires you to be physically active, ANYTHING. Good examples of this are running away from insane purple unicorns, working on a farm, chopping down trees, and most relevant right now, fighting insane demon clown ponies (seriously THERE IS NO WAY THIS THING CAN BE A PONY!!!)

That being said... there might be some ways which you can use those skills with the characters you have. It wouldn't be the same, but it could still potentially-

Your thoughts on this are interrupted when you see the demon clown in front of you open its mouth and start to move in closer towards you. Okay, no more distractions, you have to MOVE RIGHT NOW!!!!

Hit him in the funnybone! For both the pain and the irony! Then, while he's in pain, stuff a large rock in his mouth. Prefarbley breaking some teeth. And spill his guts if you can. Chuckle at how the tables are turned while you're at it.

Is your axe nearby? Because if it is, grab it and START SWINGING!

You look past him for a moment and see the three axes you brought with you. You dropped them when he hit you into the tree. You suddenly feel your second wind back. Acting on instinct, you kick the clown pony in his left leg, supposedly hitting him in the funnybone, or at least the pony equivalent. You would take the time to recognize the irony of that under normal circumstances that don't involve you potentially being killed but it, but now is not one of those times.

At that, the clown pony stops moving forward, throws his head up into the air and screams, that apparently did hurt it. The noise that comes from it's mouth however, is not a sound that any pony would make. It's not even a scream, it's more like some kind of incredibly loud, very deep, growl. Just hearing it makes you shake a little bit, by everything you know it's frightening.

You look away from him for a moment to notice a rather large rock sitting next to you in front of the tree. You don't waste any time as you grab the rock and shove it into the clown pony's mouth, temporarily blocking the growling noise from coming from his mouth.

That done, you leap from your position at the foot of the tree right past him, do an action roll (which was pretty awesome if you say so yourself) and land right in front of where the axes are. You pick one up and turn around to face him just as he turns around to face you, and you watch him bite through the rock like it's bread. Seriously, he crumbled that rock to powder... with his teeth. You'd hoped that doing that would have broken some of them, but he just broke right through the rock like it was nothing.

You don't even waste a second though as you swing the axe and with one fluid motion, chop his head clean off. You watch as the axe goes right through him like it should any pony flesh... you hope.

"AHHHH!!!!" You hear the clown pony scream in a more normal, British sounding voice as it's head comes off. "Oh no! My head! You've cut off my head!!!" He screams as his pony body starts running around like crazy waving it's front hooves around where it's head used to be. "YOU CUT OFF MY HEAD YOU FRIGGIN IDIOT!!!" You look to see the clown pony's head still screaming even though it's head is cut off. It's just laying there, but is still talking. "YOU CUT OFF MY HEAD!!!" The clown pony's head screams at you one more time before it looks up and notices you looking at it, at which point, it stops screaming and puts on that same, cat like grin it wore when you first saw it, teeth and all. You look over at it's body to see it standing perfectly still. It's not even falling over, it's just standing there.

Then suddenly, to your absolute horror, the clown pony's body walks over to it's head, and with it's right hoof, steps on it, rolls it over and kicks it up like a soccer ball. It then bounces the clown pony's head up and down with it's right hoof like a soccer ball, all the while the clown pony's head is still holding that same toothy smile. After a few more bounces, the clown pony kicks his head up higher than normal, upon which his head lands on his neck upside down, only to slowly turn 180 degrees until it's right side up again, all the while still smiling at you.

"What... the... f*ck...?" is all you can say.

"Just kidding," The clown pony says to you.

Jason:
Point somewhere behind him and off to one side and shout at the top of your voice, "Hey! Is that a demonic Duck of some sort?"
When he turns to look at the demonic duck, run like hell in any direction but where the fillies went, making as much noise as possible. Head for the barn, and find some silver. Once you find the silver, pray with all your heart to Celestia to bless it while holding it up to the sun. Then find a slingshot, and beware the deadlights.

if not, well, best start running away, and try not to imagine a diseased, Syphilis infected hobo is chasing you

Grab your knife! you brought that with you right?
With a flick of the wrist practice what you know! RUN AWAY!
let's be honest here, you learned some fighting... but that was in a cave and against a pony. Now your fighting... whatever that is and you have no idea how to deal with it.
(also a side note. I feel like being someone that isn't a part of the dalek kirk thingy, For the readers that aren't part of it... it's kind of boring XP I sort of skim over it and skip to the plot. am i missing anything important in the plot when I do? or no? because if not maybe you could have a side story with it or just label the chapters like you do when you have an announcement)

Yell something completely random in his face and while he's confused run for your life
You know in any direction except towards the cutie mark crusaders :unsuresweetie: :scootangel: :applecry:

You don't respond and just keep staring at it. You only guessed that it was some kind of evil, unponylike thing because of it's teeth, but after seeing that... you have very little doubt about that now. No, seriously, you are kind of terrified right now. By all accounts that should not be possible. It kind of reminds you of...

no...

...

...

...

...

...

That's impossible.

...

...

...

...

...

...

He can't be.

"Boo," the clown pony says to you, and for you, that is it.

"LOOK, A DEMONIC DUCK!" you shout at it. You don't waste any time and take off into the forest away from it. You run like hell. You have no idea why you even shouted that, the thing scared you out of your mind, you had no idea what you were saying. The clown pony doesn't move, he doesn't even look away, he just stays right where he is and just stares at you as you run. His smile getting a little bit wider as he dies.

With the axe in hand, you run into the forest ANYWHERE but where Applebloom and her two friends went. If there is one thing you aren't about to do, it's let this monstrous thing get them. NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. The more you run, the more you find yourself unable to believe what you've just seen. The thing just put it's head back on after you cut it off like it was an inconvenience.

You still have your knife, but you're not sure what good that will do if he was able to do that. Granted it's made out of a metal called orichalcum so it should be stronger than most metals, including that axe, but still, that doesn't mean it will kill him.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!" You hear the sound of the a laugh which could only belong to the clown pony as you keep running, ducking between the trees as you go. NO. You can't even call it a clown pony anymore, you can't even call him a thing, you have no idea what it even is. The only thing that comes to mind is...... something you aren't ready to believe cause it's impossible for it to be one of those. The only thing you can call it is... well, it.

"That's it," you hear it's voice say. "Run." You don't stop running. The more this thing speaks to you, the more terrified you are. THERE IS NO POSSIBLE WAY THIS THING CAN BE ONE OF THOSE!!! "Be afraid." it says to you as you turn to your left after you run past another tree. "You humans taste so much better-" Right as you hear those words you turn to your left again right as you run past another tree, only to come face with it again. "-when you're afraid."

Instinctively, you swing your axe at him again and aim right for his head, only for him to suddenly open his mouth and grab the blade of the axe with his teeth. You didn't even see him move. It was like one moment he was standing still, and the moment the axe was about to hit his head, it was suddenly in his mouth. All the while he kept his eyes right on you. It then bites down and like with the rock before, it bites right through the metal blade of the axe like it's chocolate fudge.

'Oh sh*t!' you scream at yourself in your head as you see that. You then look down to see that his two front hooves are no longer hooves, but what you can only descrive as werewolf claws. Right as you see them, you watch as it suddenly swings upwards with it's right claw right at you. You drop the handle of the now useless axe and jump backwards away from it. Right as you do however, it's claw slices right through your shirt and grazes your skin, leaving three upwards claw marks on you.

"F*CK!" You scream as you stagger backward a bit and down at your wound. By everything that thing hurt like a-

You don't even have time to finish that thought as you look back up again to notice it leaping right at you bearing it's teeth.

Jason: You are fighting a powerful opponent beyond your normal skill, so if you can channel Sherlock Holmes and/or Batman because they know how to take down enemies that outmatch them in physique.
Immediate Danger=Mouth/Proximity.
Problem=Superior opponent/Alone/Unarmed.
Okay... This, thing is able to attack you from a range with kinetic energy, so as scary as the teeth are, engaging at a range isn't actually a better option. Jason, if you have your knife on you, draw it now, if not and there's a hatchet nearby, grab it.
Use your free-hand to grab the thing's throat and squeeze. Objective of motion is to keep the teeth away, not actually choke it out though you can try. Use your free-hand, hopefully with weapon, to strike into the head of the creature, right between the eyes, as hard as you can. Puncture the brain if possible with the knife or hatchet. If you're unarmed, then strike repeatedly at the spot between the eyes with your elbow.
The objective of this is to stun or kill, preferably kill. Whether you accomplish this or not though, your next step after these actions, or if he disappears or makes it impossible to perform these, is to run.
RUN!!! Back to the Crusader Clubhouse to yell at them to run to Applejack's farm, quickly. And then go yourself... Make sure foals are safe before all else.

Quickly, knife him in the throat!

He's toying with you! You could exploit it for your liking. Stall as much time as possible, you don't want to die before you could find a way to beat this guy to submission! Other than those teeth, he basically has the anatomy of a pony, so try anything that's harmful to a pony. Even though he's not really a pony, it's worth a shot. Likewise, the throat. And if your knife is ready, stab the jaw. Have a feeling that it would the least of your problems though.

Shit, shit shit shit shit. So this enemy is apparently wanting to kill you and the characters you have channeled are sherlock holmes and batman. Well despite me not able to think of much in terms of battle tactics, we really could use some special ability unlocks from channeling our 2 current characters, because considering this enemy, I don't doubt we'll need to pull out EVERY stop we got, knife and all

Kick him and try to get some distance, then draw your knife. If you have an axe with you hold the knife in your teath and use two hands to weild the axe. If not then your knife will have to do. You can't change who you are chaneling so use Batman and Sherlock to their fullest. Keep your weapon, what ever it may be, pointed at him and be ready, you will want to keep your distance. He will need to be close to bite you and you have a hight and reach advantage, Use it! This is no time to run! THIS IS THE TIME TO PROVE YOUSELF! YOU, YOU ARE JASON MORGAN, THE ONLY HUMMAN IN EQUESTRIA, AND YOU WILL NEVER BE DEFEATED!

We're in action mode now, which means we can't switch out who we're channeling. But, we were currently channeling King Arthur, weren't we? What would he do?!

Hmmm. Maybe we should pretend our knife is Excalibur.

First thing's first, draw your knife and slash (Believe that your knife is a lightsaber to give it more effectiveness. It worked for that kid with the inhaler so why not you?

Still acting on your fight or flight instincts, you jump to your right and roll out of it's way. Right as you get back up, you draw your knife and turn around. Right as you do, it turns around too and swings it's right claw at you. You swing your knife as you see that, and stab it right in it's werewolf hand.

You knife goes right through it as easily as the axe did, but you're not about to trust that. It makes another deep, low growling noise again, but you don't trust it. The two of you pull away from each other moments later, your knife cutting right through the rest of it's hand as you do, which makes it scream even more.

You take a few steps back away from it and so does it, and you watch as it's werewolf hands change back into hooves. It looks down at them for a moment and keeps growling, but once it's hooves change back it stops. Slowly, it then looks right back up at you. It's cat like smile and sharp teeth on full display.

Fifthly, Do not fall for his fear tactics. If he makes himself look like someone you know, look for telltale signs of foul play, like his poofballs or odd behavior. If he changes into another monster do not let fear overwhelm you.

You stand there and just look back at it. You don't run. You stay right where you are. If this thing is what you think it is, then it wants you to be afraid, and you're not about to be afraid. After all you've been through, all you've seen. You're not going to be scared by a stupid clown.

Even though it takes some considerable effort from you, you stifle your fear and put on your game face. You twirl your knife in your hands for a few moments before you hold it forward. Channeling King Arthur with a knife is a little awkward, but you think you can make it work. You instinctively keep thinking it's longer than it is, though, maybe if you believe it's excalibur, then it will make a difference.

Say, "You wanna fuck with me? Bring it on motherf*cker!" and proceed to punch him in his jugular.

"You wanna f*ck with me?" you say to it. It doesn't respond, it just keeps staring at you and smiling. "Bring it on motherfucker!" Right as you scream that, it runs forward and leaps at you with it's mouth open.

Right as it reaches you though, you reach forward and grab it's throat with your free hand. It's forward momentum still brings you to the ground under it, but as you fall, you stab it right in it's barrel with your knife. It then pins you to the ground, but you keep it's head and mouth away from you as you hold it back with your free hand while you pull your knife out and stab it again. It doesn't even flinch as it keeps trying to bite you, but you keep it back. Whatever it is, it's friggin strong, it's taking every ounce of strength you have to keep it from getting close to you and actually biting you.

You stab it again in the chest with your knife, and again, and again and again. You stab it about seven or eight times, but it doesn't flinch, it just keeps trying to bite you like a rabid dog would. You stab it one more time right in it's ribs and keep your knife there. You then twist and try to pull it down, which does make it scream with its unpony like growl. It throws it's head up for a bit and growls before it brings it's head back down and growls right in your face.

It brings it's face closer to yours, closer than you'd like. It's practically inches away from your face. You can smell it's breath. It's unholy, a kind of odor that shouldn't even exist. You fight through the smell though as it keeps growling at you. You feel it's face getting closer. You can't hold it back for much longer, you're able to see practically every detail of it's teeth now.

Thinking quickly, you pull your knife out from it's chest and stab it right in it's left eye. The suddenly pain in it's head causes it to jerk back a little, but just to be safe, you pull your knife out and stab it right in the eye again, which causes it to growl in pain again. You then pull your knife out of it's eye and then stab it right in the center of it's forehead. It growls in pain again, but it doesn't go down, which you kind of expected.

With your knife in it's head, you pull it's head away from you and expose it's throat. You look at it for a moment and contemplate what to do. It's risky, but you'll have to. You pull your free hand away from it's throat and then punch it right in it's jugular. It staggers back a little bit from that blow, which allows you to pull your legs back and kick yourself out from under it.

You kick it's legs away and get back up on your feet, pulling your knife out of it's head as you do. You step back for a moment and watch it struggle to get back on it's feet for a moment. It does and looks right at you, and despite all it's wounds, it still shows you the same smile it always had.

Ok, Jason, deep, calm breath. Now, here is what you do.

1.) Draw your knife, and when he lunges forward, kick out with your right foot and hit him in the side of the head.

2.) When he's down, mighty battle-cry of Arthur Pendragon while tabbing down at the back of his head.

3.) Speak then, the following words, "By all that is holy, in the eyes and name of all those who have passed before, foul demon, feel the wrath of the heavens as this blade purifies your foul corruption!"

4.) Since this is Arthur persona, and Haypennywise should be susceptible to belief as the original was, he will indeed be purified and effected by the attack, dieing in a surge of black ichor that covers you completely, but leaves him dead.

5.) Deep breaths, then get up, and make your way to Sweet Apple Acres, and ask to use the shower.

6.) If they ask what happened, say, "I got attacked by a demon clown...and no, I have no clue why and how. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get clean and cry. Call Bon-Bon and Lyra to pick me up please, I'm pretty sure I won't be coherent for a few hours."

7.) Proceed to get clean and then cry out the fear, frustration, and sheer WTF you feel from this encounter.

8.) When back with your best friends, hug them and cry, as they'll help you and they definitely care.

You don't waste any time with it though as you run over and kick it right in the side of the head, which knocks it down to the ground. You then run over and get on top of it and grab it by the back of it's head. All the while it doesn't drop it's smile from it's face. You then pull your knife close to you.

You know there's no possible way this thing is what you think it is, but if it is, then there is only one way you know of to deal with it. If you believe enough in this, then it should work.

"Sanctus ab omnibus," you start to say. "Et in conspectu omnium, qui fuerunt ante nomini turpis demon tuos purificat, hoc ferro eu turpis caelo ira-"

RANDOM MANTICORE OUT OF F*CKING NOWHERE AND HITS HAYPENNYWISE OFF OF YOU!

Right before you can say the last word however, you suddenly hear another roar from behind the trees, a roar that definitely did not come from the clown pony.

Suddenly, out of f*cking nowhere, a large, lionlike creature bursts through the trees. It looks at the two of you for a moment before roaring again and leaping right in your direction.

'Oh shit!' you mentally scream as you get off of it and jump backwards. The lion thing lands right where you and it were standing right on top of him. However, there is nothing there anymore as if it landed on nothing.

"Well now, that is just rude," you hear a British sounding voice say. You and the lionlike creature then look up to see the clown pony standing right on top of the lion creature's head. All of it's wounds are now gone, as if they were never even there to begin with. You then watch as the clown pony's right hoof transforms into... something you can't even begin to describe. It looks like some kind of long, red, three fingered appendage with claws at the end of it. It's almost as large as he is, and the actual transformation process looks more like it's tearing through it's skin and clothes rather than just changing.

The clown pony then places his new appendage right on the back of the lion creature's neck, then proceeds to push it right into it's head. The lion creature lets out an incredibly loud roar of pain as it starts thrashing around in an attempt to get the clown pony off of it, but the clown pony remains still.

All you can do is just stand there and stare in a mixture of shock and awe as you see the clown pony push it's long appendage deeper into the back of the manticore's neck and presumably it's head. You even see blood start spurting out from the open wound in back where the clown pony is standing, all the while the lion creature just keeps howling in pain.

Suddenly, and without warning, you watch the lion creature open it's mouth and see the end of the clown pony's inpony like appendage come out from the lion creature's mouth through a hole in the back of it's throat. What happens next... your stomach was not prepared for. Good thing you ate your breakfast a long time ago.

The clown pony's appendage suddenly grab's the top of the lion creature's jaw, and then starts to lift up. With one fell swoop, it takes off the entire top half of the lion creature's skull and removes it from it rest of it's body, leaving only it's bottom jaw and what remained of it's tongue hanging there where it's head used to be.

You suddenly hear ghost Pinkie Pie scream in absolute terror as you watch that happen. Apparently, she as just as terrified as you.

You cannot even move. Blood is everywhere, and you do mean EVERYWHERE!!! The clown pony just took off it's head on one of the most horrific ways you've ever seen, and it did it effortlessly. You're not even sure how to begin to contemplate what you've just seen. Next to you, Ghost Pinkie Pie is still screaming.

Then, it suddenly hits you, if this thing could do that, then how was it even possible that you could hold your own against it just a moment ago with your knife. Unless of course it was... it was just toying with you.

You break away from your thoughts long enough to notice that the clown pony is no longer on the top of the remains of the lion creature.

Suddenly, and with even less warning than before, the clown pony drops down from the sky (again, you never saw him move), grabs you, pins you to the ground, opens his mouth, and then sinks his teeth right into your right shoulder.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!" You scream as you experience by far the most painful experience of your life. Next to you, Ghost Pinkie Pie is still screaming.

The clown pony, even though you are bigger than he is, throws you around for a little bit like a dog with a chew toy would effortlessly. The more he shakes you, the more your bite wound hurts, a lot more. All you and Ghost Pinkie Pie can do is keep on screaming as he thrashes you around. Ignoring the pain proves to be completely fruitless, but you fight it the best you can as you realize you're still holding your knife.

While he's still thrashing you around, you reach over and stab him in the side of his neck, but still he doesn't stop. You stab him again and again, and still nothing. You even go for this throat when you get the chance, still nothing. There isn't even any blood on the knife when you pull it out of him. You scream in pain one last time, but then with a little extra effort, you stab one more time and hit him right in the jaw.

At that, he growls a little again while still holding onto you, and then, much like a dog would, he throws his head to the side and lets go of you. The force that he throws you with is enough to send you flying backwards into a tree again, which you hit with enough force to bend it backwards a little since it's a smaller tree than the one he hit you into before. Your knife is still in your hand.

With that, you find yourself in the same position you were in when this all started, only now, you have a massive bite wound on your right shoulder. You try to get back up, but you're barely able to move. You grab your wound with your free hand, but you're bleeding quite a bit, and your blood is still pouring out. As you grab your wound you look down and notice that your knife is still in your right hand, and you're holding it tight. You're not about to let go, not now.

"Ahhh..." You hear the british voice of the clown pony say as you look from your hand over at him, though you can barely see him as you start to feel your vision go in and out a little bit. At first it becomes blurry a little bit, but then it goes black for a moment before it returns, and then again. This is bad. If this keeps up, you'll surely loose consciousness. "I'd forgotten just how good you humans taste." He's right in front of you now. He's about as close to you as he was before when he hit you into the other tree, and still sporting the same, cat like grin, only this time, blood is dripping from his mouth and teeth, your blood. Oh, and of course, all his wounds are gone as if they were never even there.

He just stands there and keeps looking at you, never once tearing his eyes away from you. You stare back, though with your vision fading, you can only see him for brief moments at a time before it goes black for a second. Again, you feel a chill run down your bones as you feel your blood run colder for a little bit. You try to hide it, but you can't deny it. You're absolutely terrified of him. Your attacks did nothing, he tore apart that lion creature like it was nothing, and no matter what you do, you can't seem to hurt him. You're afraid of him.

"Did you actually know what you were doing when you said that?" He asks you. You ignore him. "I've seen many humans younger than you use that power more efficiently? Do you even know anything about it?" You don't respond to him. You know what he's talking about, but... "Well," he said as he licks the blood away from his lips with a tongue that Pinkie Pie would envy. "I suppose I've had my fun. Though to be honest, I was hoping you'd be able to last a bit longer." You fight to stay awake now as you grip your knife tighter. If he's going to make a move, you're going to get him at least one last time. "Oh well, how does that song you humans wrote go? You can't always get what you want."

And with that, he opens up his mouth again and starts moving closer to you. With what effort you can, you lift up your knife and try to...

Before either of you can get anywhere however, the clown pony is suddenly knocked back several feet and through a tree that is directly behind him, and your knife hits nothing.

'What the f*ck?' you think to yourself as you saw that. What the hell just happened? You didn't do anything. Is he still toying with you? Are you hallucinating from blood loss? Did another unicorn show up and throw him with magic? As much as you want to believe all of those, you find them all incredibly unlikely.

He has you pretty much dead and going nowhere right where you are, why would he still toy with you? You can't be hallucinating cause if that were the case, you're pretty sure you could still feel the pain of him killing you, and it definitely wasn't another unicorn cause there was no magical aura. One moment he was in front of you, and the next thing you knew, he was suddenly knocked backwards like he was hit by a fast moving truck. What just happened.

It's at that point that you start to hear a familiar sound.

You know that sound. You stop and look around for a few moments to try and find the source of it, but you don't find anything. It appears to be getting closer though. Then you look directly up.

Suddenly, from above you, you watch as a hind helicopter flies over the tree and stops directly above you, the sound of helicopter blades assaulting your ears even more.

You had to be hallucinating. Every time you saw this thing you were, so why else would it be here now? You must be dying, it's the only-

You stop that train of though when you watch the helicopter turn on it's guns and start shooting into the forest. You watch it take down several trees and kick up a lot of debris. The noise is real, you can feel the wind, and you can see the destruction. This helicopter is real.

As the helicopter keeps shooting, you look up and notice it's canopy open. From there, while it's still in the air, you watch someone climb out, and then jump down from the helicopter and land right in front of you. It takes a moment for you to realize it is due to your vision going in and out, but when you recognize who it is, you cannot believe it.

Jesus...

Jesus, who you saw playing chess against that dragon thing when you first got here just jumped down from the helicopter and landed right in front of you. At the very sight of him, you feel a sense of relief wash over you that you cannot even explain. All of your worries are gone, you're not going to die here, everything is going to be all right because, wait...

The longer you stare at him, the more you notice something.

That's not Jesus.

Yeah, he's wearing the same kind of white robes that Jesus is known for, but they're kind of a different style. They're less of a one piece robe and more of a series of large rags wrapped tightly around his body, as if to conceal it completely. His hair also isn't brown, it's grey. It's long, well past his shoulders, but it's grey, not brown. He has a mustache, though it's not the same kind that you expected Jesus to have at all, and he has a bit of a five o clock shadow on him as well. He's also not that tall, maybe not much taller than you are, and he doesn't at all have the same skin complexion as Jesus. Also, despite his obvious age, he looks kind of well built together, like he could take on anybody no matter how much younger they are than he is.

He stares at you for a moment as he's kneeling on the ground. His blue eyes stare right into yours, and you stare back. It only occurs to you now that you thought he was Jesus solely cause of how he dressed. Now, upon retrospect, you feel like an idiot. Still, he may not be Jesus, but you know who he is, and you cannot believe it. He's here too. Of any possible human you could have expected to see in this other world, you did not expect to see him here. Not at all.

He only looks at you for a moment before he stands up and turns around to face the forest. He looks kind of badass as he does, the wind from the helicopter above him keeps blowing his robes like a boss and he doesn't even give a f*ck. After a moment or so, the helicopter stops shooting the forest.

The moment it does, you watch as the clown pony jumps out from behind some of the destroyed trees right at this man.

"Retro manere," he says as he points at it. The second those words leave his mouth, the clown pony is suddenly pushed back again like he was before, only this time, he manages to stop himself as he flips over and lands on his hooves. He skids on the ground for several feet before he stops and just stares directly at the man in front of you, his eyes filled with a level of rage you can't even begin to comprehend.

Above you, the hind helicopter slowly begins to fly away, leaving you alone again. Once it's gone, you look back down at the man in front of you, and at the clown pony in front of him.

-PERSPECTIVE SHIFT: Francis Morgan-

You are Francis Morgan, former professor of medicine and comparative anatomy at the one proud Miskatonic University and the last surviving member of the original Sons of Dunwich. In front of you is a servant of the old ones. While weak, he's still far more than any mortal man can handle, but you've killed many of these things before. They are like flies to you, you can kill twenty of them before breakfast.

Behind you is... well, someone that this servant in front of you is going to wish he did not f*ck with. While you're kind of miffed that he managed to get hurt as badly as he did, you can still understand why. No normal human can take on these things if they don't know how. Still, you... you just crack your knuckles and look ahead at this sorry abomination of the universe that you are about to kill.

Fictional Characters Channeling:

Character slot 1.) Henry Armitage

Character slot 2.) Warren Rice

Special Ability: Morgan Bloodline

Weapon: Your own two hands. You do not need any other weapons.

Items in possession: None

"Oh, granddad's about to beat some ass," you say.

What do you do?

Next Chapter:

PONY KOMBAT: Francis Morgan vs Haypennywise the Clown

That's right. This fight isn't over yet.

Note: the way this character fights: Say any phrase in Latin, ANY PHRASE AT ALL, and it will happen (you cannot just say "kill it" or "die" though cause that would be way to easy). Think of the strangers from Dark City with their "tuning" ability or Neo's ability to alter the Matrix. Though more specifically, think of it as a mix between those, and the dragon shouts from Skyrim. Yeah, go nuts.

Author's Note

Status: Edited

Blazewings thunder: 2

PONY̕ KÒMBAT/BOSS ̸B͜ATT̢L̀E: ͝Fr͞a͟nc̕ìs̢ Morga͝n vs Ha̶y̢p͝e̶n͢n̛yẃi͏s̴e the C͞l҉own

Quick authors note before we begin:

I probably should have been a bit more clear in my instruction when I said "say anything in Latin and it will happen." What I meant was that I want you guys to say whatever you want to have happen IN ENGLISH and then I'll translate it into Latin for the attack. I don't actually know Latin and I was actually using Google Translate for the Latin phrases that I've used previously. So yeah, I don't really understand Latin so it would be much better for me if you could write it in English so I can understand what you want, or at the very least, provide an english translation so that I'll understand what you're trying to say and be able to use it properly. So yeah... that one was my fault, I should have been a little bit more clear on that.

It's awesome that some of you know Latin though. Maybe if you guys want to help me out, I might need some help translating phrases into Latin properly. I know Google Translate only takes you so far. If any one of you out there wants to help me with this, just send me a PM and we can talk.

But anyway, all that aside, lets get on with the story.

Francis Morgan vs Haypennywise the Clown

Radioactive (Imagine Dragons cover) by Within Temptation

Also, Say this to Jason:
"Signantes vulnera.
Cum salute vestra criminibus."
(Translation:
Sealing Wounds.
Safety with your charges.
With luck, this will heal his wounds and warp him to safety with the fillies in his care.)

Heal Jason before he bleeds out "Primoris Adiuvo" (First Aid) Then get back to beating the shit out of the clown.

And then say to Jason... "May your wounds heal and stitch as though never there at all."

Most magic works as an instruction to a channeling being (Harry Potter wands, Wizards staffs, black magic demons/spirits, white magic god etc.) and as such would be used as an instruction to an external object or being as opposed to just saying something like "Jason Heals", describing what would happen. As such, we need to heal Jason using a command to a spirit or to god, namely, "Heal Jason".
Soo we need to save Jason first.
Vigoratus Jason (Heal Jason)

you heal Jason before he bleeds out

"Signantes vulnera," you say to your great grandson before you do anything else. "Ut et a vulneribus tuis sanabo SUO quasi numquam omnino." You know it won't heal him immediately, but when he does, at the very least he will heal as if he was never wounded at all. That's always been the biggest pain when healing others, you can never do it right away. Still, everybody heals, all it takes is time, and at the very least your words will cancel out the negative effects of being injured by a creature such as this. Their bites can carry some nasty things sometimes.

The second those last words leave your mouth though, the creature in front of you, the one dressed as a clown runs forward and leaps at you. His two front hooves immediately changing into wolf claws as they do. He raises his claws and opens his mouth to attack you, but you don't move. You just stay perfectly still where you are.

Right before he reaches you and strikes, you reach out with your left hand and grab it by the throat. He jumped right into your hand, you didn't even need to do anything else. The clown pony creature struggles in your grasp for several moments, and tries to gasp for air, as if it needs it. It then raises it's right claw and tries to swipe at your arm, but you just raise up with your free hand and grab his claw.

At that, the creature stops struggling and stares at you, the look in his eyes a look of pure rage. He's trying to intimidate you, to scare you, but you know their tactics. You've been fighting these creatures for too long to be scared of them.

Say, "Potest tuum sanguinem ulcus, carnes vestras succendendum, et salietis vestri ile ex ventre tuo strangulare vobis."
(Translation: May your blood boil, your flesh burn, and your intestines leap from your belly to strangle you.)

"Potest tuum sanguinem ulcus, carnes vestras succendendum, et salietis vestri ile ex ventre tuo strangulare vobis," you say to it. The moment the last words leave your mouth, you watch the creature throw it's head towards the sky and let out the most deafening roar you've heard in years, a roar that in no possible way should belong to the equine natives of this planet. You then watch it's clothes and skin start to burn off slowly.

Then, suddenly, the creature disappears from your grasp and you're holding air. Great, he's gone away. Not that you didn't expect that, these things are omnipresent after all.

You then lean backwards as the creature comes at you from your left side and flies right past you. Damn thing thought it could get the jump on you. Right before it can pass you completely, you grab onto one of the creature's hind legs, it around using it's momentum, and throw it into the trees in front of you, or at least what remained of them. Discord did a hell of a job on this part of the forest.

Pedes, velocius movere. (Feet, move faster)

use the flaming fists of fury to pound this sucker back into hell!

uti furoris terere, hic pugnis flammeum VITULAMEN retro in gehennam!

Right as the creature leaves your hand, you run right towards it. You do not need an incantation to make yourself move faster, you're not a novice at this.

The creature hits a tree and gets knocked right into it like a normal pony would, right as it does, you reach it and throw up your right arm.

"Uti furoris terere, hic pugnis flammeum vitulamen retro in gehennam!" you say right before your fist hits the creature right in it's torso. The moment your fist makes contact, holy fire encases your hands and hits the creature right through the tree like it was paper mache. The tree turns to splinters under the force of your punch as the creature goes right through it and continues flying backwards.

It flies straight backwards into the remains of the forest, where there are more downed trees. You keep your eyes straight and your senses sharp. You know that even though you hit him in that direction, he can come from anywhere. Damn omnipresent bastards.

The forest in front of you remains quiet for several moments, but then out of nowhere an entire tree comes right towards you like a God damned stick. You jump right over the tree and step on it as it passes you to give a little extra boost. At the apex of your jump though, the creature suddenly appears right in front of you with it's claws raised. Are clowns and wolves the only thing this creature can think of?

You grab the creature's wrists before it can hit you and you both fall to the ground. Right as you both land, the creature rears in both it's back legs and kicks you right in the chest, making you let go of it's claws and allowing it to jump right over you. The fact that you just got bucked in the chest by a pony doesn't really bother you, you've had much, MUCH worse.

The creature flips over in mid air and lands on it's feet like a cat. Right as it does, it lunges forward at you again. You just lean to the side again and let it pass you. Right as it lands again though it skids on the ground, does a 180 degree turn and lunges back at you again, this time swiping it's claw at you. Again, you just lean to the side and let the creature pass you. Right as the creature lands again though, it doesn't turn around, and you watch its tail suddenly get a little longer, curve towards it, and turn a silver color, and suddenly get a lot shinier.

Suddenly, without moving from it's position, the creature's tail suddenly grows about twenty feet longer as it extends the curved blade it created from it's tail and swing it upwards right where you are standing. You roll to your left right before it hits you. You didn't see that one coming. Just as you roll back onto your feet though, you watch the creature suddenly jump into the air and turn itself around, and bring its extended blade tail right with it.

It swings its tail around, cutting everything it passes between it and you as it does, and then swings it horizontally at you. Right before it can hit you though, you jump up into the air and flip right over it. Right as you land back onto your feet, the creature jumps upwards into the air, spins around, cutting the ground with it's tail as it does, and then bring's it's tail down horizontally right on you.

Or, if these are too complicated, say this: "Solis spiculo percusserit."
(Translation: Sun lance, strike)

"Solis spiculo percusserit," you say as several flaming lances suddenly appear right next to you, fly towards the creature and impale it right through the chest. Again, the creature screams with that defeating growl it has before it suddenly disappears again. You look all around you for a moment, but see no sign of it.

"Hie non sum," you say quietly to yourself just as the creature suddenly appears above you and comes down on you with it's mouth open. However, the creature passes right through you like your physical form is nothing but a shadow, which it is. The creature then lands and looks around for you for several moments. "Sit laqueum vobis humum," you say from your real position behind a nearby tree as the earth comes up and traps this creature's hooves in the ground.

With it trapped, you get out from where you're hiding, run right at the creature and punch it right in the face, which tears it's hooves from the earth with the force you hit it with. The creature flies back for a few feet before it lands on it's hooves again and looks right at you.

Statuæ caput gutta cementum in fatuo. (Cement statue, drop on this idiot!)

"Statuæ caput gutta cementum in fatuo," you say to it as right above it's head, a giant statue made of cement drops on it's head, which does little more than annoy it as it pushes back up on it and breaks it apart like it's paper. With the cement statue gone, it looks right at you and starts running.

Ignis protego, appareant. (Fire barrier, appear!)

"Ignis protego, appareant," you say as a wall of fire suddenly lights between you and it. The creature doesn't appear to care however, as it just keeps running and leaps right through the fire right at you with both it's claws and teeth drawn. Seeing this, you run forward as well with your fist drawn and prepare to punch it again.

Right before you can reach it however, the creature suddenly disappears again and you hit nothing. Again, you look around for the creature, but see nothing. You look around for several more moments, you even look back towards your grandson, but see nothing, has the creature gone?

Then you look down, and the sudden cracking of the ground beneath your feet tells you otherwise.

"Dimitte me ingrediamur in a'r," you say right as you jump up into the air, and then step on it like it's a rock to jump again, and again, just as the ground beneath you crumbles apart completely. From it you see what you can only describe as a giant, rust colored spider with a human torso and two long arms with large, three fingered hands appear and let out a loud growl. So, the creature has finally decided to show it's true form.

And just for kicks, "Explodat, bis."
(Explode, twice.)

"Explodat, bis," you say as you step onto the air one more time and jump high up above the creature. Suddenly, from the center of the creature, an explosion of fire encompasses all of it as it lets out an incredibly loud roar in pain, and then another explosion encompasses it again, which makes it roar even louder.

You step on the air one last time to get away from the explosion, flip over and then fall back towards the ground several feet away from the explosion. You land back on your hands and knees and look right towards where the creature once stood. All that's left is a large hole in the ground and the remains of fire all around it, it's like a large fire pit, but the creature is nowhere to be seen. Is it dead? No, you know these creatures better than that.

Suddenly, from behind you, the creature appears again and reaches down to grab you it's left hand. It grabs you and lifts you up into the air, then turns you around to look at you as it grabs with your other hand as well. It holds you right up to it's eyes and looks right at you. You look right into it's eyes, and it looks right into yours. You would be able to see it's soul if it had one.

You then feel it's hands start to squeeze you as if it's about to crush your rib. Foolish creature, it's going to have to try a lot harder than that to break someone like you. As it squeezes, you push back. It takes all you have, but you push back against the creature and, with your own two hands, push the creature's hands away from you. You push both your arms out and keep the creature's hands away from you as it tries to push back. This thing is strong, but so are you.

"In a'r est sicut aqua," you say as you push back against the creature even harder than before and knock both the creature's hands away from you. The air then becomes like water as you flip over and kick the creature right in it's jaw, which causes it to step backwards a little. You float in the air for a few moments before you flip back over and land on the ground, only to look up at the creature's belly and see......

A light...

A light... it's so......

You can't tear your eyes away from it..... It's just so...........

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

HA! This is all the creature has? Really?

HayPennywise is also hurt by Silver, call upon a silver knife storm "Argentum Cultellus Procella!" to stab this sick excuse of a clown.

"Argentum Cultellus Procella!" you say as a thousand knives of silver appear around both you and the creature. The all fly around the both of you for a few moments before they all converge on the creature. Some of the knives cut right through it, some stab into it, but all of them hurt it as the creature lets out a howl of pain much louder than any you've heard from it so far. So this is what it takes to hurt it, ah...

The light suddenly disappears as several knives fly right into the creature's belly and slice it open. So, those six spots on it's belly were where the light was coming from.

"Vinculis obligare," you say to it as you just stand there and watch the creature suffer. As you say that, several large chains appear from seemingly thin air and start to wrap around the creature. It struggles for several moments before many more chains appear and bind the creature. After awhile, there are so many chains wrapped around it that it isn't going anywhere soon. "Convergere." you say as all of the silver knives still circling the creature suddenly stop, then all turn towards it and fly right into it's flesh. Every single silver knife stabs right into the creature as it howls in pain again, one of them even hits it in it's right eye.

Alternatively, say, "In nomine Dei et sancto igne mundati dæmonium."
(Translation: In the name of God, demon be cleansed in holy fire.)

you heal Jason before he bleeds out and you look at the beast and start chanting, beoru sun hiru uarunsakusu, osu sun uru run lagu, beoru yuru suberus, osu jos rinji hagaru beoru yin and yell out EXPLOSION. a giant elemental ball starts to form. it launches at full speed and hits haypennywise. after the smoke clears up all was left was an ash pile

With that, you raise up your right hand.

"Deduc me sole," you say. After first it appears as if nothing is happening, but then, it starts out small, but the hydrogen atoms in your hand that make up the air start fusing themselves together, and more, and more, and more until the small ball of fire that's formed grows and grows until it is larger than both you and the creature. The creature keeps struggling against the chains as it watches the miniature sun that you've formed in your hand continue to grow.

Once it's reached a size that good enough for your tastes, you hold it there for a moment as you look up at the creature's eyes. It only stares back at you.

"In nomine Dei et mundabimini ignis sacer," you say to it. At the sound of your words, the creature lets out another roar at you and pulls even harder against the chains, which actually causes some of them to break.

You don't let it struggle anymore as you bring the sun down on it. There is an explosion right in front of you that lasts for a few moments. You stand still where you are and just watch the flames. Once it clears, you look ahead to see what remains of the creature.

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

Nothing.

There isn't even anything left. Only ash.... This is bad.

You're suddenly hit from behind as the creature swings it's hand at you and knocks you back into another tree, which you crash right into. You stay there for a moment as you look back up, only to see the creature right in front of you as if lifts up one of its legs and brings it down on you. You quickly get up and roll out of the way back up onto your feet, just as the creature lifts up another one of its legs.

You grab it with both of your hands before it hits you. You hold it away from you for several moments before you bend the end of it's leg and snap it like a twig, just as another one of the creature's legs steps into the ground and causes several spikes to jut up from it and launch right at you. You quickly jump out of the way of those and land several feet away from the creature.

"So, you're not giving up that easily are you?" you say to it, it only responds by roaring at you again. "That's fine by me." you say in response. "I can do this all day."

-PERSPECTIVE SHIFT: Jason Morgan-

Could someone, somepony, or some THING please explain to you what the f*ck you are watching right now. Moments ago that clown pony... thing, was moments away from killing you but then you were suddenly saved by the hind helicopter that you thought was just something you hallucinated.... and now another human who you're pretty sure is your deceased great grandfather is fighting this thing in a way that you've thought was just a myth.

You're not an idiot, you've studied what he's doing before but... but... Those were just stories, they're not real. Those creatures don't exist....

Do they?

Authors note again:

There is no "What do you do?" section for this chapter, but that doesn't necessarily mean that the story is over. The next chapter that will be released on friday is going to show a bit more of the world this story takes place in, and for that to happen, there can't be a "what do you do?" part. This may happen from time to time where I may cut away from what's going on with Jason or the story to show more of what's happening in the world, but that doesn't mean the story is over or that you're not in command of Jason anymore, it just means you'll have to wait a while before you can command anyone again.

Don't worry, everything will all make sense on friday.

Author's Note

Status: edited

Blazewings thunder: 2

Weeks in the Past

But not many.

There were many reasons that you did what you did that night. Sure it wasn't the best idea, and you could have kept going, but you're not going to lie to yourself. Sure, there were many reasons, but at that moment, only one of them mattered to you more than the others. You were tired.

You'd been on the road for days and it was late, getting close to one in the morning. You were tired and really wanted more than anything just to get some rest. To that end, you resolved to find somewhere where you could.

Your efforts to do so landed you in some backwater town somewhere in Massachusetts. It wasn't on the map, but you didn't pay much attention to that, not at the time anyway. There were a lot of small towns that weren't on any maps, you figured that this must have been one of them.

It was only by sheer luck that you actually managed to find a motel once you drove into town. This place may have been off the map, but at least it had some place where you could lay your head for a while, and the fact that it was on the edge of town helped somewhat in your efforts to find it immediately. Without even wasting another thought on it, you really didn't want to think to hard right now, you pulled up, found a parking spot, of which every space was open, and got out of the car.

You walked on in to the main office to find it empty, the light was on though, so there must have been someone here. As it to erase your worries on that immediately, the moment the door swung closed behind you, someone stepped out from the back room towards the front desk with a newspaper under his arm. He was an older gentleman, maybe in his late 50's or so, at least by what you could guess.

"Howdy," he said to you. You kind of chuckled a little bit on the inside at that, you almost couldn't believe he actually said that to you.

"Hey," you replied back to him as politely as you could. "You... you got a room?"

"Sure," he replied as carefree as he could possibly be. "We got plenty of rooms. Hardly anybody ever stops by here anymore." Given the literal off the map location of this place you were inclined to believe him. "Just sign in right here and we'll get you all settled."

"Thanks," you said as you dropped your bag and walked right on up to the desk. The sign in sheet for the hotel was practically empty, with entries only going down less than half the page and the last one before you being six months ago. You, being as tired as you were, didn't even pay much attention to that as you signed yourself right on in.

"You seem awfully young to be drivin out alone around these parts," the hotel attendant said to you as he walked on over to get your key. "What's your trade, if you don't mind me asking?" You stopped and looked up at him for a moment. It took a while to register what he just said, but once you got it, you felt kind of like an idiot for a moment.

"Oh," you said as you continued signing on it. "I'm a grad student." you say to him. "Just passing through."

"Really," the man said to you, not sounding the least bit surprised. "Where ya studyin?"

"Yale," you reply. You've always been a little proud of the fact that you went there.

"Now that's a fine school," the man said back to you. "Real fine school."

"Thanks," you say politely as you take out your phone to check the time.

"What're you studyin at Yale, if you don't mind me asking?" That was the second time he used that phrase.

"History," you say to him, which was sort of true, you guess.

"Really," he said to you. "So that's what you're doin out here, studyin history." He made an exaggerated waving motion with his hands as he said that, as if he was trying to make it sound exciting, which made you laugh a little.

"Nah," you replied. "I'm actually out here looking for someone."

"Really," the man said, suddenly intrigued. "And whose this person you're lookin for all the way out here, if you don't mind me asking?" That was the third time he said that.

"My grandfather," you say to him as you finish up your entry. "Well, great grandfather actually."

"Really," the man said as he took the login book from you. "And you think you're great grandpa's out here somewhere?"

"Doubt it," you say to the man. "He's been dead for years." The man didn't respond to that as he picked up and read through the login book. You watch him look down at the name, then up at you, then back again. You notice that he spends a bit more time looking at the name than he probably should have.

"Say, this grandpa of yours," he said as he looked back up at you. "What's his name, if you don't mind me askin?" Now, even though you were tired as all hell, you were able to recognize that something about that question was a little off, but for whatever reason...

"Francis," you said to him. "Francis Morgan. He's a former professor at Miskatonic." You had absolutely no idea why, but for some reason, you didn't even think, you just answered his question. Even though you knew it was strange and didn't want to, you still did.

The man just looked at you for a moment. His facial expression didn't change, yet, something was off. It was his eyes, you could see it in his eyes. You couldn't quite make out what it was, but something was off about the way he was looking at you.

"Well," the man said as he closed the book. The moment he did that, time seemed to suddenly speed back to it's former rate as he handed you your room key. "Here you go. You got the first room. It's the first door on the left once you walk outta here. You can't miss it."

"Thanks," you say to him as you turn around, pick up your bag and head out the door. You stop before you walk through it though and turn back to him. "Say," you say to him just as he's about to walk back into the back room himself. "Is there somewhere I can get breakfast around here?"

"There's a diner a few blocks down the street. You can walk there," he says.

"Thanks," you say to him as you walk out the door of the office. You don't waste any time as you head straight for your room, and once you're there, you throw your bag down and throw yourself onto the bed. You don't even bother getting under the covers, you just fall asleep right there.

You really don't like the way that guy looked at you, but you don't give it much more thought. There's no reason he'd be like that. Besides, it everything went right, once you're up, you'd just grab some breakfast, check out of this motel and be on the road again. Nothing lost, nothing gained.

-Morning Comes-

Morning came sooner than you thought it would, but a quick check of the clock showed it to be well past noon rather than morning, not that it mattered to you anyway. After taking about a half hour to will yourself out of bed, you take a quick shower and throw on a different set of clothes.

The diner was easier to find than you thought it would be, and in practically no time at all you're served breakfast. Hardly anybody was there either. This town really didn't get many visitors at all.

After breakfast, you head on out with the full intent of going back to the motel and getting the hell out of here. Right as you leave the diner however, you're suddenly grabbed from behind by two guys you didn't see. You try to fight them off, but they're strong, stronger than you that's for sure. With you struggling, they take you into the alleyway behind the diner, where you knock them both off of you and kick one of them in the stomach, but right as you do, the other one punches you right in the face, which knocks you to the ground. Right as you're about to get back up though, he gets on top of you, grabs you by the throat, and then pulls out a knife, which he holds right in front of you're eye.

"Make a move and you're dead," he says to you. At that, you stop. You're not one to do stupid things, especially not now. From behind him, you see the other guy get back up, both his hands clutching his stomach. You really hit him hard.

Then, from behind both of them, you see a third man walk up. The one at your throat turns to look at him as well, and at the sight of him, he gets off of you, though he's still pointing the knife right at you. You just stay right where you are on the ground.

The third guy then walked right up to you. He was friggin huge, at least six inches taller than you were and was built like a god damned tank. He wore what you guessed were some kind of factory worker's clothes with overalls over them and had the kind of facial hair that only a man who didn't give a damn about what anybody thought of his appearance would have. He also had a long, very visible scar running down the left side of his face, next to his eye. In his right hand was a metal pipe.

"You," he said as he looked down right at you. "You're Francis Morgan's grandkid?" You don't say anything, not at first at least. "Well..." he continued as he got on one knee and leaned in closer to you. "You can talk can't ya? Are ya Francis Morgan's grandkid?" His voice was kind of raspy. The kind of voice that one would have if they smoked way more than they should have, which was also evidenced by the smell of cigarette smoke on his breath.

"Great grandson," you say back to him, figuring that you weren't about to get out of this any other way. The moment those words hit his ears, the big man in front of you lets out a smile. Positively the most evil smile you've ever seen.

"Well," he says, his smile growing even wider as he stands back up. "Welcome to Dunwich motherfucker."

The very last thing you remember was his boot hitting your face.

-Fast Forward to Present-

You just keep watching someone who you can only guess is your great grandfather, whom you know for a fact to be dead, keep fighting a demonic clown, pony, thing, who suddenly turned into a gigantic man-spider thing right before your eyes.

You can't even begin to process everything that you think you're seeing right now.

You watch as your great grandfather jumps up and pushes himself up off of some of the ground that the spider thing launched into the air at him. Right as he lands, you watch the spider thing open up it's left hand, and watch as the claws on the end of it's fingers suddenly extend and grow as quickly as bullets right at him.

Your grandfather jumps to his right and rolls out of the way of those, and right as he gets back up, he says something and swings his right hand towards the spider thing, which somehow knocks it to the side several feet before it disappears again.

Suddenly, you watch the spider appear above him and drop down on him just like it tried to do to you when it was still a pony. You're grandfather doesn't see it until the last minute, and says something which makes the earth come up around him, but the spider punches right through that with his two hands and then throws both of it's hands around your grandfather, pinning him to the ground. You then watch it roar at him again. Your grandfather doesn't even flinch as he tries to struggle his way out.

You... you can't even begin to comprehend this anymore. He has him. The spider him has him pinned. This is.... he could be-

Just then, something clicks in the back of your mind.

Special Ability unlocked

******* slot 3 = Special Ability: Morgan Bloodline

Character slot 1: Doctor Who

Character slot 2: King Arthur

Special Ability: Morgan Bloodline

In that moment, you have no idea what came over you, nor can you even begin to comprehend why you did what you just did, but without even thinking about it, you get up and run towards you're grandfather. The pain in your shoulder isn't even there to you anymore.

"Manibus vestris tenuis face!" You scream at the spider creature right as you reach it. Within an instant, at your words, the spider creature's hands vaporize into thing air, as if they were unmade by creation. Your grandfather, seeing an obvious opportunity, jumps back to his feet, and then jumps up and hits the spider creature in the face with an uppercut, which knocks it back a little, but not enough. "Recedite eo!" You scream at the creature, and at your words, the spider creature is suddenly knocked backwards by some kind of Fus-Ro-Dah like force which pushes it several feet away from you, flips it over, knocks it on it's back, and then keeps pushing it right until it crashes through another downed tree directly behind it.

Your great grandfather just lands right next to you, but you don't even notice him.

"Pro omne tui nefas," you begin to say, and as you do, you hear your grandfather start saying the same words. "Te in abysso tenebrarum jacio-" Before either of you can finish however, the spider creature suddenly lift's it's head back up and roars at the both of you once more, which causes the earth in front of it to split in half and come upwards, all the way towards where the two of you are standing.

You jump right to your left and your great grandfather jumps to his right right before the earth can split apart right where you two are standing. He lands perfectly back on his feet, which you fall over and land right on your shoulder, at which point, the pain returns with a vengence.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!" you scream as you grab your wound again, blood pouring out from it even faster than it had been before.

"DAMNIT!" you hear your grandfather now as you try your best to ignore the pain for a moment and look over at him. His attention is in the direction where the spider creature was. You look that way too. It is nowhere to be seen. You, knowing it however, expect it to just appear again a few seconds later, but several seconds pass, and it never does.

You, suddenly remembering all that was on your mind before you did something this stupid, turn your attention back to your great grandfather, who looks right back at you. The two of you lock eye contact for several moments. Neither of you say a word, but you're thinking a lot. Mostly things you're thinking of are varying questions of "how?"

How can your great grandfather be here? How the hell can he still be alive? How the hell is he in such good shape after all this time? How can that thing he was fighting even exist? Those things aren't supposed to? How was he able to handle himself that well against it?

All your thoughts are interrupted however, as the familiar sound of helicopter blades returns. Within moments, the hind helicopter flies back over the forest and stops right above the both of you. Both you and your grandfather put a hand in front of your face in fruitless attempt to keep the wind from hitting you.

You look up at the helicopter, and watch as the canopy opens again, and this time, you see Solid God damned f*cking Snake stand up and throw a ladder down the side, which falls all the way down until it's right next to your great grandfather.

"Get in you f*cking idiot!" you hear Snake yell... wait... that's not Snake's voice... That sound's more like.... Before you can even contemplate that any further though, you look back to see your grandfather grab the ladder and start climbing, upon which point, the hind helicopter flies upwards and then takes off.

"WAIT!" You should as you reach up with your right arm for him, which only rewards you with another surge of pain. You don't quite notice it, but you think you can see your grandfather look down at you one last time before the hind helicopter flies over the trees and is gone again, as quickly as it came.

All you can do, is just stare up at the sky. You're alone now. Even the clown... pony... spider... thing... is nowhere to be found.

PERSPECTIVE SHIFT: Applebloom

"Where is he?" Scootaloo asked as the three of you waited impatiently by the clubhouse. "It's been like, forever!"

"Maybe he got lost," Sweetie Belle said, sounding a little bit worried.

"Really," Scootaloo deadpanned. "He got lost on the only path through the forest."

"Ah don't know," you say to her. "Sometimes the paths aren't as clear as yah might think." Scootaloo didn't say anything. "Ah'm sure he's fine though. We got nothin dangerous out here."

"Maybe..." Sweetie Belle said. "Maybe we should go look for him." You thought about it for a minute. It's not like anypony to get lost here in your orchard. Then again, he wasn't a pony, and he really wasn't as familiar with your orchard as you, your family, or the other crusaders were, so maybe he was a little lost. So, you just nodded your head. The two of you then looked to Scootaloo.

"Ah, fine," Scootaloo said as she got up and walked over towards you and Sweetie Belle. Both you and Sweetie Belle smiled and nodded at that as the three of you turned towards the path you took through the forest... only to see Jason slowly walking back towards you.

"Jason!" Sweetie Belle shouts as she runs right towards him, you and Scootaloo follow.

"See, Ah told you he was all right," you say to Scootaloo right as you reach him. "Jason, where-" you're about to say as the three of you are close enough to see him, but then you stop yourselves as you get a good look at him. He's bleeding. He's got a huge bite in his shoulder, probably from a timberwolf, and a nasty cut running up his chest, and he's not walking, he's limping.

The three of you don't even say another word or take another step as you stand there and watch him walk towards you. You, you almost can't believe it. This is Jason. The human... He's supposed to be tough. What could have done this to him.

He doesn't say anything as he limps towards the three of you. Then, a few feet away from the three of you, he stops.

"Help," is all he says before he suddenly falls to his knees, and then falls over face first into the ground, blood still pouring from the wound in his shoulder. At that, Sweetie Belle breaks the silence with a scream.

"WHAT DO WE DO!!??" She screams at the two of you. "WHAT DO WE DO WHAT DO WE DO!!!??" You look at her, then back at Jason. He's still bleeding. Bad. There's no time to talk about this, and if the other's aren't gonna take control of the situation.

"Ah'll run home and get Applejack or mah brother!" you say to them. "You two, load him into the crusader mobile and try an git him to tha hospital!"

"Got it!" Scootaloo says, suddenly serious as she walks over towards Jason and tries to get under his arm. "Come on, help me!" She says to Sweetie Belle, who only shivers for a moment before she joins her. "Celestia, he's heavy." Scootaloo says as she tries to lift him, Sweetie Belle says nothing. You watch for only a moment before you turn around and as fast as you can, run back home. Jason's in trouble, and he needs your help.

Authors note:

There is no "What do you do?" section for this chapter either. Don't worry, come next Monday, it will be back and you'll be in control again.

Author's Note

Status: Edited

Blazewings thunder: 2

Bonus Chapter: Meanwhile, IN SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!!!!!!!!!

In a very special chapter of Wake up. See this. What do? While the whole battle with Haypennywise was going on. This was happening.... IN SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!!!!!!!!

RA = Registered Anonymous

SD = SwimmingDalek98

GF = Gordon Freebrony

GR = Grey Rebl

BP = Broniesrponies2

MW = Masterweaver

*One of the hackers looks over the coordinates from Somepony1 again, notices something is wrong*

Hacker 1: Um... Antares

Antares: What is it?

Hacker 1: I've been looking over these coordinates that Somepony1 gave use for The Doctor and the other daleks. For the Doctor, he claims he's there on the planet, but for the other daleks, the coordinates he gave are-

*The ship suddenly detects many, MANY more Dalek vessels coming out of warp space*

Hacker 1: Right.... next... to us....

Antares: ALERT!!! INFORM THE COMMANDER!!!

Side Story Characters vs Evil Dalek Army
Gangnam Eye Joe by Magebarf

SD

Dalek on board: I have intercepted a transmission! Currently, a large group of the old, evil Daleks are on their way to attack us now!

Me: Oh, and I was JUST getting used to my Cumberpatch form... ah, well. KEEP THOSE SHIELDS UP! Antares, get those Orz on the line! Tell them we've got evil, older Daleks on the way, and we might need backup! And the Enterprise dudes, too!

Antares: What will you do, master?

Me: I'll be getting in my personal suit, of course! You think I'm going to be sitting this one out? HEEL TO THE NO, MAN! *turns into Dalek* Wait... crap, not in the machine yet... *turns back into Multi-Form* Just a moment... *goes to customized Dalek suit, and turns into Dalek to fit into suit* Let's get this party started!

Antares: Affirmative! All Daleks, initiate Operation Family Reunion!

All Daleks of fleet: WE OBEY! INITIATING OPERATION FAMILY REUNION! PREPARING ALL ANTI-DALEK WEAPONRY!
Hackers and RA: The f*ck's going on, man?

Me in suit: Yeah, long story short, the older breed of Daleks, the mean ones, they're coming for us... no idea how, but since they're all xenophobics who hate anyone who goes against the crap they preach, they want our heads on silver platters. You might want to hide in the containment chambers. Hey, you! *Dalek unit turns* Get the hackers and RA into containment units, and tell the Enterprise that if they've got weapons, they need to ready them for the crazy sh*t that's about to go down!

SD

SwimmingDalek98 And my Daleks don't hold any resentment to the Doctor for all the times he beat their people. Frankly, they like him for trying his best to stop them from hurting people.

RA

*Meanwhile on board the Dalek spaceship*

R.A.: *sighs as he finishes hitting a button on his Iphone* *quietly and seriously* Hope this helps Jason... I really hope Haypennywise and Pennywise share the same weaknesses from the movie "It".....

*R.A. turns towards Swimming*

SwimmingDalek98
R.A.: Soooo we got some evil Daleks coming over eh? And you want me to hide in some containment unit as well? .....Hacker 1 get all the other hackers and hide in the containment unit I'm going to help fight off these Evil Daleks as well.

Hacker 1: B-but R.A.! Didn't Swimming say that he wants you to hide as well?

R.A.: Pffft yeah right! And miss out in all this excitement!? IN YOUR DREAMS! *cracks his knuckles* Plus this will allow me to show what I am made of to Swimming, right Swimming?

GF

-On Board The Enterprise-
Scotti: Red Alert! Battlestations!
-Alarm goes off-
Scotti: Raise shields! Move into position with the fleet. Prepare for the battle.
Chekov: Sir! Warp signatures approaching fast!
Scotti: Arm forward phaser banks, ready photon torpedoes! Inform the Captain.
Chekov: Yes, Sir!

The message is sent.

Scotti: Contact the rest of the fleet. Make sure they know what's coming.

The Orz and the Dalek fleet are informed.
__________________________________________________________

Spock: Ma,am, this ma-- pony is a criminal who has hijacked our ship and forced us to beach upon these shores. Forced to stay here, we chose to explore this area, taking him with us because he claimed to have foreknowledge. However, he did not tell us how he acquired said knowledge, nor did he fully disclose it. As such, we were merely using measures to gain the necessary knowledge about these... parts.

Zecora: You are one who speaks true, But now I must ask, who are you?

Kirk: I am Captain Kirk of the Enterprise, a sea-faring ship from far away ports. Myself and my crew are on a mission of exploration, although we were, as Spock, my chief science officer, so eloquently explained. That is Dr. McCoy, Chief Medical Officer, and this *Kirk sends a kick my way* is Ensign Freebrony, relieved.

Me, through my bloody nose*: Hey, I was telling the truth there!

Kirk: McCoy, I-
A ring fills the air, notification of another message. Kirk moves off into the forest, getting a message from the Enterprise.
Zecora and Spock start talking, while McCoy approaches my prone form.

McCoy: Look, will you let me stop the bleeding?

Me: Fine.

McCoy: Thank you. Here, drink this. *puts a bottle of gin to my lips* Now, anyway, I have a way of proving if you are lying. I can figure Spock's mind-meld will do the trick as well, though I doubt you'd want that. When Kirk comes back, I'll tell him, though if you are lying I swear you will wish you'd never been born. I don't like looking a fool in front of the captain.

Kirk walks back into the clearing.

Kirk: Bones, bad news. We've got hostiles zoning in on the planet, so until the shields can be safely lowered, we're going to be cut off from support. I'll tell Spock when he's done with the native.

McCoy: Jim, I have a way to see if Gordon here is truthful. I don't know what he's told you, but he's promised me it's the truth. All I have to do is move to this setting on the tricorder.

After a short while, the test is set up and proves Gordon was telling the truth. Meanwhile, Spock got Zecora to agree to help them, and they begin their trek to her hut.

SD

GordonFreebrony

Dalek Antares: ALL UNITS, PREPARE TO ENGAGE!

Dalek: Incoming transmission! Lowering communications barrier!

Old generation Dalek: Greetings, traitors. Where is the Doctor?

Antares: We do not know of the location of your enemy! If we did, we would direct him to YOU!

Old Dalek: OUR enemy? The Doctor has plagued Daleks for GENERATIONS! And now you claim you are his ally?

Antares: No. We have simply learned from him. Daleks are NOT the supreme rulers of the universe. We have only gotten to where we are through misery and unnecessary bloodshed. Now, my pure-hearted brethren! I CALL YOU TO BATTLE! Show our elders the error of their ways! EXTERMINATE THEM! HEAR THE CALL!

All Daleks of the Reformed Dalek Empire's fleet: BITE OUR SHINY METAL ASSES!

Me: YES! Now, then, play the tune of victory, for we have already won!

Me: U mad evil Daleks?

Evil Dalek: HE PLAGUED THEIR MINDS! Your extermination will be slow, abomination, that much is assured...

Me: Well, come at me bro!

GR

SwimmingDalek98

Hacker: Say, Nana. Does the quote "angrier means dumber" applys to the Old Daleks?
Nana: In Pony psychcology, yes. But to an advanced species with superior intelligence? I doubt it. Anyway, they've been using the same old tactics in this fight, as said in the Reformed Dalek's Database. Intimidation, we've won from that; Mass numbers, they might obliterate us through sheer vengeance.
Hacker: So with the information that we have, we gotta predict their next move, which we can do pretty easily, fight smart and catch them off guard? Do I follow?
Nana: Correct. Just as long as no pony dies so soon.
Hacker: What do you mean?
Nana: Our current methods are to go directly to the enemy and declare, "BITE MY SHINY METAL ASS"... Other than the old methods we have before these Daleks were reformed that's it. The battle plans were on haitus when the army was gaining allies such as us. Everypony were too busy. Until we work on any efficient battle tactics, we are either going to need RA's unpredictabillity, or he'll kill us by "helping" us to death.
Either it is because the strong chances of being annihilated by Old Daleks inspired him, or it is the thought of being killed by RA's stupidity and destroying everyone's dignity that did, he announced to work on the plans.
Hacker: Well, then let's get to it then!

RA

SwimmingDalek98

R.A.: *after hearing the Daleks shout their battle cry and that Kokoro spam* T-that is the most beautiful thing I have ever heard. *A manly tear is shed*

Hacker 1: ...Swimming are you seriously that much of an otaku or is this just a spur of the moment.

R.A.: *kicks Hacker 1 to the side and grabs Swimming by the scruffs* TELEPORT ME ONTO ONE OF THE EVIL DALEK SHIPS NOW! I WANT TO F*CK SOME EVIL DALEKS UP NOW!

SD

Registered Anonymous Both, and yes. But we'll need to attack their shielding first, we don't want them to be able to warp you into their line of fire. Alright, give me a moment... *uses Multi-Form powers to turn into Dalek form and crawls into special personalized suit* Alright, I'll fly over there, and leave a teleportation module thingy for you to warp to. Alright, thumbs up, let's do this... SWIIIIIIIMMIIIING... DAAAAAAAALEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!

Grey Rebl I'm going to let RA loose on the enemy Dalek ship... what do you think's gonna happen?

GR

SwimmingDalek98

After a long hang out trip at the movies with my two best friends and one of their little brother's, I'd say the enemy would only send a small group of Old Daleks against RA simply because he is just one man. Oh, the glorious amount trollololo he would cause.

SD

Grey Rebl... you're not getting the point. I'm gonna let the psycho loose ON their ship once I drop a teleportation module... thingamajig. And he will teleport TO it. In their ship. What do you expect to happen?

GR

SwimmingDalek98

I may be a tad lackluster after the weird movie I just watched, but I may have to ask: Do you mean specifically what RA is going to do in the sh–... Wait, do you mean that he's gonna use that sledgy... on whatever he's going to blow up? Thinking about it a little more, I think he's going wreck more than simple consoles... You don't suppose the Old Daleks are going to give him and his iron sledgehammer some sort of demonic name after he is through with all that?

GF

SwimmingDalek98>> Grey Rebl>>Registered Anonymous
On the Enterprise:

Scotti: Fire forward phasers!

*explosion*

Random Ensign: Sheilds down to ninety percent.

Scotti: Get their shields down!

*explosion*

Random Ensign: Shields at 85 percent! Casualties reported in decks three and seven. Four dead, all security, and two injured Science and Medicals.

Scotti: We can take more.

Random Ensign: Sir! Enemy shields are down!

Scotti: Fire photon torpedoes!

*space explosion*

Random Ensign: Enemy is down. Reporting no immediate survivors. Moving to next Target.

Scotti: Same procedure, boys!

Random Ensign: Sir, we've got multiple hostiles leaving their ship. They're trying to board!

Scotti: Well get rid of 'em!

Random Ensign: I'm trying, sir. There's too many!

*explosion*

Random Ensign: Shields down to 75 percent. We've been boarded on decks three through five! Dispatching security.
Scotti: Inform the fleet. Tell them we need help destroying these damned boarding Daleks before they get to us.

Random Ensign: Sir, the first wave has been repelled. We've got minimal casualties, eight security dead and three injured. They're coming back for another round!
_____________________________________________________

Meanwhile, on the Orz ship,

Orz captain: This is so *Frugle.* We should *Swim* t with the *New* *Sad Campers*. They like to *swim* like us.
A swarm of suit-less Orz

Jump out of the orbiting ships, attacking the much larger Dalek swarm. Unfortunately,this is on the opposite side of the battlefield as the Enterprise.

Orz Captain: Now lets *play*.

The Orz ships enter the battle, firing small burst of laser fire, eating through the Daleks on their way to the Evil Dalek ships. In return, the Orz' shields are barely even touched.
_______________________________________________________

Sorry whoever had the Orz, but I grabbed control for the moment. They weren't really doing much.

SD

Grey Rebl Something along the lines of... say, 'the Masked Devil'.

SD

GordonFreebrony
Me, while flying through enemy fire: ANTARES! I want a squadron on the Enterprise THIS INSTANT, BUSTER!

Antares: I OBEY! MOVE, MOVE, MOVE!

Me: Now, then... a little 'mental preparation' never hurt anyone... let's see... no, no, no... THERE you are!

Me: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! *dodging enemy fire and sending fire back*

RA: I'm so bored! I wanna get in on the action!

Hacker: That's potentially the most sensible sentence ever to come out of his mouth... if that is a he.

Other Hacker: What is WRONG with you, man?

Hacker: Well, no guy in the universe could POSSIBLY complain THAT much, right?

Other Hacker: Well... *looks at whiny RA* Okay, you might have a point! But then again, he's CRAZY!

Hacker: Menstrual cycle.

Other Hacker: His habits!

Hacker: They include cooking... fondly.

Other Hacker: Oh, fine! So maybe RA's a girl!

Me: Guys, hate to break up your little Pyro squabble, but I've already dropped the warp module down. Some of Regulus' buddies are gonna give you a machine thingy that you'll want to plant on their main computer. They'll use that to take control of the enemy weapons systems, and other mechanisms. Activating warp module in three... two... one... GO!

Hackers and RA: WAAAAAGH! *warp onto evil Dalek ship*

Me: Alright, then! I'm going back out there! You guys just take care of business! RA, take care of these guys! They're the only ones competent enough to do this, and they also have fingers. Now, then... GANGNAM EYE JOOOOOOOOOEEEEEEE!

GR

SwimmingDalek98 >> GordonFreebrony

Crew Member: Oh boy. The Enterprise have already gotten into the battle. I'm not so sure how much more damage they can sustain. And I don't think the Extra Squadron could make it there in time. The enemy's size of numbers are HUGE!

Hacker: I-I uh... Nana? A little help?

Nana: How long until our reinforcement Daleks reach to their side?

Crew Member: About 6 minutes.

Nana: Anyway to achieve that distance at less time?

Crew Member: Well, without risking any severe loss of soldiers, no. I don't think we have any ideas to spare.

Nana: I think I can think of a way.

Hacker: Really? How?

Nana: Firstly, were's SwimmingDalek?

Dalek: Currently at the enemy ship, attempting to set up a teleportation module to send RA and the fighter hackers rampaging on.

Nana: The Orzs?

Crew Member: Taking their sweet time cutting through the enemy.

Nana: I see. Have the Orzs draw as much fire away from the Enterprise as possible until the Antares arrive, they can take it. Ready one of our mobile cannons. When RA's team clear the area of the teleportation point, teleport the reinforcements along with the mobile cannon and have them destroy the enemy from the insides, first objective: immobilize enemy cannons and guns. We need to lessen casualties as much as ending the battle as quick as possible.

Hacker: They are planning on hijacking the ship though. Don't you think we should leave the cannons alone when we might use them later?

Nana: We'll leave that up to the higher-ups. As for the mobile cannon, have it make a large hole on the enemy ship. We are going to perform a surprise maneuver. And make it immediate. The enemy's cannons can only shoot the outside, and can't shoot what's inside. Even if they can, they couldn't without risking damage to themselves. Plus, we would have RA and co to defend it if necessary.

Dalek: Such a flaw on our Dalek ships would not be tolerated and will be punishable by TERMINATION... Wait...

Nana: As we do that, create a path to the Enterprise so the Extra Squadron could take care of the onboard enemy Daleks without losing too much of their own on their way.

Hacker: But wouldn't the massive number of enemies be too thick for the mobile cannon to reach the last half of the destination? The reinforcements would still–

Nana: That's where our ship come to play. At some point, we will act as a barrier and cut off the flow of enemies, that would leave them having to go around our own artillery to reach the Enterprise, and we would be able to clear off the last half.

Hacker: Clever, but risky.

Nana: RA might approve.

SD

Grey Rebl Antares is a Supreme Dalek, guys. He's commanding from the helm, directing the Caesar's guns and sh*t. By the way, get the Remus about 40 kiliks over that ship there *indicates enemy ship* And have it fire. A kilik is a Dalek measurement of distance, equal to around 4.3777, continuing, kilometers.

GR

SwimmingDalek98

Nana: That's the plan. Antare, awaiting further orders.

RA

SwimmingDalek98>> Grey Rebl

*R.A. and his hackers get teleported onto the enemy Dalek ship only to find there are like 20 evil Daleks around them*

Hackers: All up to you R.A.!

R.A.: Now this is what I want to see. *cracks his knuckles* So which one of you metal jerkwads wants to get wrecked first?

Evil Daleks: Exterminate!

R.A.: I had a feeling you were going to say that. *rushes at the Daleks that are in front of him deflecting oncoming fire with his nine iron* YOU ARE GOING NEED MUCH BETTER STUFF THAN LASERS TO KILL ME! Ah ha hahahahhahahhahahahahhahaha! *proceeds to go to town on the Evil Daleks and mercilessly beat them all into almost a liquefied puddle of pain, misery, and with a hint of insanity while all of this scene takes over a span of 2 minutes and 43.786 seconds with the hackers all huddled in a corner after witnessing the horrors that is R.A.*

R.A.: *is now standing on top of a pile of defeated Evil Daleks* That was the most fun I have had in ever! Alright hackers call Swimming and tell him we got the teleporting zone open please. But for me I got to find some more Daleks to wreck!

Hackers: *simply comply to his demand and wished for the Evil Daleks to have a swift and painless defeat... which probably won't be possible*

R.A.: *before he leaves* Oh one last thing if you ever consider me being a girl ever again... I'll rip your vocal cords out and make you eat them. *begins laughing nonchalantly as he leaves*

BP

Me: *Sends message up to evil Dalek fleet.*
Good evening teapots,
This is your friendly neighborhood distraction, just letting you know that you will lose. This is not only because we are better, or because we have the Orz on our side, but also because I uploaded a copy of my hacking AI into your systems. If I know my AI, certain of your systems (namely, shields and propulsion) are currently being overloaded by a thousand games of solitaire and Tetris, not to mention terabytes of anime. They should be down momentarily. In other news... Goodbye.
*message ends*
Well, I managed to do something.
*new message to commander Swimming Dalek*
Hello,
Just like to let you know that the teleportation barriers and standard shields of all networked Dalek ships will soon be offline. I can't say for how long. Best to make use of the window before it closes. Couldn't disable the weapons though. Those are on a different network. Best of luck.
*messge ends*

GR

Broniesrponies2

Nana: Commander, we've got a message.

Antares: From the Enemy?

Nana: No. From the planetside at the Everfree forest, and it's not the away team sent.

Crew Member: Huh? But how?

Nana: Some pony has locked into our signal during the time the beacon was downloaded into the ship. Whoever it was, he or she has a beacon of his own. But it's falling apart, so it couldn't do much but send some messages from time to time.

Antares: On screen.

*Reads message.*

Hacker: The shields would soon be down? How does that work?

Nana: When the Evil Daleks transmissioned us and we... prematurely declared battle against them, he downloaded a Hacking AI into their servers.

Antares: How did you know of this? Why didn't you inform us of this? Explain!

Nana: I could have if the Hacking AI didn't disable my audio and messaging. At the time, we talked and worked out a friendship. He apologized for shutting me up and I apologized for being so hostile. Anyways, with a little bit of my help, I opened up a channel big enough for him to be downloaded to the enemy ship. We said our good-byes, but he forgot to enable my communication to you guys. It was a nightmare to weave my way out, I was lucky enough to make a few lucky correct encryptions before I finally came out 2 minutes before you called for my help! I swear, you hackers the demons of me.

Hacker: Hey! It's not our fault RA is crazy!

*Meanwhile*

Evil Dalek: STAY BACK, MASKED DEMON! YOU DON'T INTIMIDATE US! THE ONLY FEELINGS WE HAVE IS HATE!

RA: Oh really? Then I suppose I have to discipline you and make you gentlemen. *An evil idea suddenly came to him* Say, why not have you help me bake some cookies?

*Back to the Ship*

Antares: So, that mysterious specimen (referring to Razor) was also telling the truth... I'm pleased of the window of opportunity. We will wish to thank our new ally later.

Nana: Commander, transmission from >> SwimmingDalek98

Antares: On screen. *Transmission Relayed* Have the Remus 40 kiliks over to the enemy ship. Have if fire!

Crew Member: No need to say it twice!

GF

SwimmingDalek98>> Registered Anonymous>> Grey Rebl

-On The Enterprise-

*multiple explosions*

Random Ensign: Shields down to fifty percent, still holding! We've got boarders on decks three, four, seven, and ten, with more trying to force their ways in. Damage reports indicate that they are trying to get to our shields.

Scotti: Send another security team to the shield rooms. Where are our reinforcements!

Random Ensign: Sir! Sensors indicate friendlies are en route, with a large cannon. They're using their own ship to block incoming fire!

Scotti: Finally.

Random Ensign: There goes another Dalek ship. We've got two more to go before we have a shot at the big one!

Scotti: Aim for the port one. Registered Anonymous is on the other.

*explosion*

Random Ensign: Shields down to twenty percent!

Scotti: We canno' take much more. Divert warp power to shields. Fire everything at that last ship then pull us out!

Random Ensign: They're shields are down! Pulling back!

*Explosion*

Random Ensign: Shields down! We're taking damage to port N-cell. Engine room is reporting casualties. Three dead. fourteen injured. Hull breaches on decks three through seven. boarders still entering the ship.

Scotti: Get us out of here! Send a mayday signal.

Uhura: Yes, sir!

Random Ensign: Sir, we've lost warp power. We're stuck on half-impulse. Boarders are being driven off by reinforcements. Hull breaches have been sealed by bulkheads until we can get shields back.

Scotti: Send a new message. Tell them we canno' fight again. We're falling back and starting repairs. Sulu, you have the bridge. I'm going to engineering to make sure they've got their bolts in the right place.

Sulu: Aye, sir.

Scotti leaves.

Uhura: Sir, it looks like klingons on the starboard bow.

Sulu: Oh, my.

Random Ensign: Diagnostics indicate sensor malfunction.

Sulu: Oh, my.
________________________________________________
Sorry, had to put that last bit in there.

-Meanwhile, in a parallel universe where musicals are predatory and jump on people randomly-

GF

-In the Everfree-
Spock and McCoy: Star trekin' across the universe
-On the Enterprise-
The whole crew: On the starship enterprise, under captain Kirk!
-In the Everfree-
Spock and McCoy: Star trekin' across the universe
-On the Enterprise-
The whole crew: Always going forward cause we can't find reverse!
Nana, over the comms: Lieutenant Uhura, report.
Uhura: There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow, starboard bow;
there's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow, Jim.
-In the Everfree-
Spock and McCoy: Star trekin' across the universe
-On the Enterprise-
The whole crew: On the starship enterprise, under captain Kirk!
-In the Everfree-
Spock and McCoy: Star trekin' across the universe
-On the Enterprise-
The whole crew: Always going forward still can't find reverse!
-In the Everfree-
Nana, over the comms: Analysis, Mr. Spock.
Spock, pointing at a confused Zecora: Well, It's life, Jim,
but not as we know it,
not as we know it,
not as we know it;
It's life, Jim,
but not as we know it,
not as we know it, Captain.
-On the Enterprise-
Uhura: There's klingons on the starboard bow,
Starboard bow, starboard bow,
There's klingons on the Starboard boq,
Starboard bow, jim!
-In the Everfree-
Nana, over the comms: Medical Update, Doctor McCoy
McCoy, pointing to the Manticore: It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim
Dead, Jim,
Dead, Jim,
It's worse than that he's Dead, Jim
Dead, Jim, DEAD!
Spock: Well, It's life, Jim,
but not as we know it,
not as we know it,
not as we know it;
It's life, Jim,
but not as we know it,
not as we know it, Captain.
-On the Enterprise-
Uhura: There's klingons on the starboard bow,
Starboard bow, starboard bow,
There's klingons on the Starboard boq,
Starboard bow, jim!
-In the Everfree-
Nana, over the comms: Starship Captain, James T. Kirk
Kirk, twirling a phaser: We come in peace, shoot to kill
Shoot to kill, shoot to kill,
We come in peace, shoot to kill
Shoot to kill, men.
McCoy: It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim
Dead, Jim,
Dead, Jim,
It's worse than that he's Dead, Jim
Dead, Jim, DEAD!
Spock: Well, It's life, Jim,
but not as we know it,
not as we know it,
not as we know it;
It's life, Jim,
but not as we know it,
not as we know it, Captain.
-On the Enterprise-
Uhura: There's klingons on the starboard bow,
Starboard bow, starboard bow,
There's klingons on the Starboard boq,
Scrape 'em off, jim!
-In the Everfree-
Spock and McCoy: Star trekin' across the universe
-On the Enterprise-
The whole crew: On the starship enterprise, under captain Kirk!
-In the Everfree-
Spock and McCoy: Star trekin' across the universe
-On the Enterprise-
The whole crew: Always going forward and things are getting worse!
Nana, over the comms: Engine Room, Mr. Scott
Scotti:Ye cannae change the laws of physics,
laws of physics, laws of physics;
ye cannae change the laws of physics,
laws of physics, Jim.
Kirk, shooting random animals: We come in peace, shoot to kill
Shoot to kill, shoot to kill,
We come in peace, shoot to kill
Scotti, beam me up.
McCoy: It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim
Dead, Jim,
Dead, Jim,
It's worse than that he's Dead, Jim
Dead, Jim, DEAD!
Spock: Well, It's life, Jim,
but not as we know it,
not as we know it,
not as we know it;
It's life, Jim,
but not as we know it,
not as we know it, Captain.
-On the Enterprise-
Uhura: There's klingons on the starboard bow,
Starboard bow, starboard bow,
There's klingons on the Starboard boq,
Starboard bow, jim!
Scotti: You can not change the strength Jim of the engines.
It's worse than that, it's physics, Jim.
Kirk: Bridge to engine room, warp factor 9.
Scotti: Och, if I give it any more she'll blow, Cap'n!
Nana: Red Alert Red Alert
*The whole crew collapses, the life energy drained by the musical predator. It moves on to another ship*

-Meanwhile, in back in this story's universe-

RA

GordonFreebrony>> Grey Rebl>> SwimmingDalek98

R.A.: *after taking care of the Evil Daleks which involved about 200 kilos of cookie dough, a flamethrower, and a spork he proceeds to kick open a door that luckily leads to one of the Evil Daleks' ship's Heavy turrets* Oh this IS my lucky day! *quickly grabs the Evil Dalek that was operating it and german suplexes it into submission* Now then... how do I work this? ...When in doubt PRESS ALL THE BUTTONS! *which R.A. does until the turret finally turns and begins shooting at everything that wasn't the Enterprise or the Good Dalek fleet* OH GOD I LOVE THIS JOB! BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG! AHHAHHAHHHAHHHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAH!

*note his communicator is currently on when he does this*

Hacker: Oh dear sweet buttery Jesus R.A. just found one of the Dalek's turrets on the ship he is on... its a miracle he has yet to hit any of us yet.

GR

Registered Anonymous

Nana: Turrets hacked. Apparently RA is having fun.

Crew member: Yeah. Which do you think will destroy the Evil Daleks first? The Orzs, or RA's killing spree?

Nana: Since logic is out of it in this case, I'd choose RA.

Crew Member: You still used logic there, but good choice.

SD

Registered Anonymous
Me: You were supposed to guard the hackers as they put devices on the enemy ship's computer and hot-wired it to attack our enemies... Ah, well. hey, you! *shot flying enemy Dalek* Hey, Nikola! I want a squadron moving in on that ship! It's targeting the Brutus!

Dalek Nikola: I OBEY! Initiating maximum EXTERMINATION!

GordonFreebrony
*Good Daleks fly in* SECURE THE PERIMETER! BEGIN MANUAL REPAIRS! EXTERMINATE ALL ENEMY DALEKS!

Scotty: Oh, thank God you're here! I dunno how long we'd have lasted without ye!

Dalek: Teleporting all Enterprise crew members to the Brutus for temporary containment during cleansing of Enterprise!

Scotty: WHAT? You can't get me off of my ship!

Dalek: We intend to fill this ship with chemicals that shall reduce all organic life to mere bloody puddles. And then we shall repair the multiple wounds in its hull. The ship shall lose air rapidly, you cannot possibly have a reason to stay.

Scotty:... I swear, if you do ONE THING to my ship, ONE LITTLE THING, you're dead, ya hear? YOU. ARE. DEAD.

Dalek: ... Dalek Aldebaran, note that this human can become very volatile if the Enterprise is damaged.

Aldebaran: Noted, soldier. Now, move! Our window of opportunity is closing!

Grey Rebl
Me: You'll get your terminology right sooner or later. Just rest for now.

Broniesrponies2
Aldebaran: This is Dalek Aldebaran, head of the Dalek Strategist faction. I am sending you this communication to express my appreciation for you giving us this window of opportunity! The Tetris was a nice touch, but in my professional opinion, the anime was a little overboard...

Enemy Dalek:

Aldebaran: See my point? Nonetheless, you have earned the Reformed Dalek Fleet's eternal gratitude. State your request once we have finished our mission, and we shall obey.

GF

SwimmingDalek98
*All crew save three security in the shield room are teleported out*
Redshirt No19: Hey Johnny! *exits shield room, looking around* Where is everyone?
Redshirt No25: Huh. That's weird. I swear there were quite a few teams here.
Redshirt No31: Why is there a wave of soup coming towards us?
Redshirt No25: I dunno, maybe it's the chef's new invention?
Redshirt No19: No, it must be- ARRGGHHH, THE PAIN!
Redshirts Nos 19, 25, 31: AAAAAAHHHHH!!! *Disintegrates into the chemical soup

*on the Brutus*
Scotti: Almost done with the roll call. Where are Redshirts 19, 25, and 31? I mean, umm, where are Joe, Murphy, and Chris?

*cricket sounds*
Scotti, t o self: Right, they were probably left on the ship. Sigh. That's a lot of paperwork, although the streamlined process for Engineering and Security personnel casualties is much quicker. Dunno why. I'll just add them to the dead Redshirts list, I know Kirk will want it filled out. Wish I knew why though.

BP

Grey Rebl
Aye Aye.

GordonFreebrony
Perfect. It is exactly what we need.

On another topic...

SwimmingDalek98
Me: *In a message to the friendly dalek fleet*
Glad I could help. Its better than lying down twiddling my thumbs. Also, the anime wasn't my Idea, talk to the primary hacker AI. If you could, could you make me some arrows that I can shoot straight up to give me clearer pictures of the battlefield, as well as some arrows that can be shot up in the same way, but shoot Dalek lasers into identified enemies. That would be AWESOME.
Finally, could you send me some more anime. I watched all of it that I have >.<.
Thanks
My AE has redentloy told my thot il has hocked me spullchecker.
Pluzzz sfbd noo Spullchecker siftworr.
Massage ends.

(My AI has recently told me that it has hacked my spellchecker. Please send new spellchecker software. Message ends.*
*message ends*

Was that last part really necessary?
AI: You tell me.
Me: No, it wasn't. Did you copy yourself for that message.
AI: No
Me: Good. Now, let me play a game of Tetris without you cheating.
AI: Fine. *Spams gangnam style overlay on my Tetris board instead."
Me: I hate you.

RA

SwimmingDalek98

Hacker: Don't worry Swimming we are doing fine. After R.A.'s initial rampage on the Evil Dalek crew we were able to reprogram a few of them that were not entirely destroyed by R.A. We are currently using them as bodyguards right now and we currently have 33% of the ship's guns under our control. The process is taking longer than we anticipated due to R.A.'s interference with his button mashing on the turret he is using, but we should have the rest of the weapons on our side sometime in the next 20 odd minutes.

SD

Registered Anonymous
Me: Better than nothing, I suppose... ah, whatever. Hey, Regulus! You got the Legion Cannon ready yet?

Regulus: Legion Cannon is active and awaiting your command, master!

Me: Wait until the enemy destroy the ship RA and the hackers are on, and they warp back here. When that happens, I want a full-on tactical retreat. Tell the Orz that, too. The Legion Cannon isn't something to be taken lightly.

Broniesrponies2
Me: Well, here's a new spellcheck program, courtesy of some of RA's hackers that WEREN'T on the enemy ship. As for anime... I don't have anything for you, but here's something uber-moe:

MW

MEANWHILE IN SPACE
The main Orz fleet is surprisingly inactive. True, marines in their ZERO SUIT MECHS are attacking the evil Daleks, and yes, the ships are dodging attacks, but for some reason the turrets on top of the ships aren't rotating.

GR

SwimmingDalek98

KokoroKOROKoko...
Nana: Sir, what's that? And why is it playing in the intercoms?
Crew Member: I have no idea.

kokorokokoroKOKOro–
Crew Member: Oh, it stopped.
Hacker: We are doing well in this fight so far. Nana, I wonder why your not in the strategist faction.
Crew Member: ...We have a strategist faction?
Hacker: Er, Carlos, weren't we briefed about that before we even went into this ship?
Crew Member (Carlos): No. Sam, you know how messy my computer is.
Hacker: ...Nana, remind me to clean his data after this is over. I want this to be done with soon.
Nana: Noted.
Crew Member: Hold up. Isn't the AIA watching this?
Nana: Yes.
*Grey Rebl appears on screen. Video chat: Online. Connection Green.*
GR: Guys... Are we watching a battle up in space?
Nana: Yes, Director. Why?
GR: Because every pony down here feels as if the future of the entire universe are depending on us... As if it is our destiny to rid the world of illusions and despair...
Crew Member: Inspirational.
Nana: But isn't that what the Equestrian International Intelligence was made for?

MW

Grey Rebl

There appears to be a group of Orz collecting the dying soldiers from all sides. Not the dead, not the ones that have a chance... only the dying. They push them through the seeming glass panes of their mecha, into the chambers with the pilots... but they're always turned away, and the dying soldiers just aren't there when they turn back to their allies sensors. The Orz marines are also slinging into the ships of the elder Daleks.

GR

SwimmingDalek98
GR: If I dare ask... What is the Legion cannon?
Regulus: Something that can obliterate fleets and armies of evil in one swell swoop. If SD didn't found and made us into the good Daleks we are are now, it could've done worse.
GR, nodding: Oh. But do you assume that the enemy would use the same?
Regulus: Yes. And they may have been charging their own for a while now. That's why we are going to order a retreat early. Nana, relay the message to all our allies. This will end up becoming the big end extermination.
Nana: Yes, commander.

Masterweaver
Nana: Commander, see this. The dying soldiers are still in the battle field. The Orzs are retrieving them, but they all still didn't have a chance to wake up... What do?

BP

Grey Rebl
Me: Why, thank you. Certainly helps.

Also, about that large ship that the Enterprise was about to target...

Dalek Bridge commander: Fire all weapons. Concentrate on wounded the human ship.

Random Dalek (hereafter RD can be applied to any daleks): Thrusters offline. Enemy Artificial intelligence overflowing computer space with pictures of small animated women.

Bridge Commander: Anti Hacking Daleks. report on elimination of artificial intelligences.

AHD: Almost complete.

RD: Alert. Alert. Artificial Intelligence has copied itself six times and is working through our information storage.

Bridge Commander: Isolate and EXTERMINATE

Hacking AI: Ohhhh, I don't think so.

Bridge Commander: EXTERMIN-

Hacking AI: Shut up. I am now in your casings. I was able to transmit myself in the sound wave through data compression and use of white noise. Now, you can do nothing, unless I want you to that is.

*An image of Thor strides onto the bridge. It is a projection that the AI is using as an avatar.*

AI: Sadly, I couldn't get into your weapons without going through you. It took me a while, even with all your ships processing space. But now, I control all daleks on this ship. And you all follow MY commands.

*Daleks begin to turn and fire on one another, ignoring a dalek who had moved to the main weapon control station and uploaded the AI.*

AI: Thank you *causes Dalek to self destruct. Begins timing explosions to the 1812 overture.*

Now then...Initiating thrusters. *Moves ship out of the way of the friendly daleks' cannon. Begins to hum 1812 overture along with explosions.*

SwimmingDalek98
Grey Rebl

Initiating Communication:
Swimming Dalek and Grey Rebl, the big ship belongs to me. It is currently moving out of the path of your Legion cannon. Please do not adjust. Extermination (he he) of daleks on board 23% complete. I present to you, the dalek flagship. Weapons are offline, but I have raised the shields. I hope to complete another run through of my song. Enjoy your new toy. I will turn it over to you once the daleks are eliminated. I couldn't solve the problem of their Legion cannon though.
Message ends

MW

Broniesrponies2

There is suddenly static.

Orz marines plug into various dataports on the ship. In the virtual world, Orz suddenly crop up in masse. Whenever they can, they direct the prisonor Daleks to the Airlocks, where other Orz mechas wait patiently.

"We are *baking*! If you want *pie* then *dance*! You should go, though, you are a *silly camper!*"

GR

Broniesrponies2
Crew member: *sniff* Sir, may I play the music the Hacking AI is playing for the dying?
Commander: ... Permission. Granted.

Crew Member: Thank you, sir. *Sobs*

Nana: I'm not sure if the music is fitting for them.

GR: Must be a human thing.

BP

Masterweaver

The Orz have saved 5% of the ship's crew.
Good job

MW

Broniesrponies2

The Orz have processed five percent of the crew. Nobody said anything about saving.

The Dalek ship begins to twist unnaturally.

RA

2763380>>2763656>>2765679>> Masterweaver>>2765985

R.A.: *hears about shooting a very dangerous and highly destructive cannon over his communicator* Hey guys can I fire this Legion Cannon-

Every single human, dalek, alien, orz, A.I., etc.: *all collectively yell over any and all communicators*
NO!

R.A.: ......ok.

SD

Broniesrponies2
Beautiful, BEAUTIFUL, FANTASTIC, BRILLIANT! ANY AND ALL POSSIBLE POSITIVE ADJECTIVES IN A SWEETIE BELLE! If I wasn't the Multi-form I was, I'd kiss you! Nice choice of music, by the way.

Grey Rebl
Me: Lie. The Legion Cannon was exclusively of Reformed Dalek Empire design. Use of it is why the Shadow Proclamation didn't blow us up first chance they got. It's probably the only reason we were given a chance to redeem ourselves.

Masterweaver
Me:... OH... That's... disgusting. Well, at least make sure the Orz don't... you know... absorb TOO MANY of us. We can still save some Daleks... some of them.

Registered Anonymous
Not in this universe, you ain't!

GR

SwimmingDalek98

Never said if the Old Daleks have a Legion Cannon of their own. Your statements implies that you've used it against the Shadow Proclamination. What if they learned from your reformed empire; aware of your weaponry? Knowing that they call you Traiters and how advanced they are, I don't think they came to exterminate your empire unprepared.

SD

Grey Rebl
Me: We never used the Legion Cannon on the Shadow Proclamation, we only used it as a bluff. They fell for it, surprisingly. And if the Old Daleks knew where we were, then they must've been following us for a while... long enough for them to learn about our Legion Cannon. Speaking of which, the Old Daleks are about to blow up the ship RA and the hackers are on. Took them long enough to catch on... RA, Hackers! Imma warp y'all out of there!

Hackers: Alright! We're done here!

RA: I wanna fight some more!

Me: Stop whining! *warp them onto the Caesar. Now here's where the fun begins...

Antares: ALL ALLIES OF THE REFORMED DALEK EMPIRE ARE TO RETREAT! Prepare the Legion Cannon for firing!

*note: Dalek is going to mean any random Dalek on the bridge and/or in the Legion Cannon chamber*

Dalek: Warming Ionic Concentrators!

Dalek: Ionic Concentrators warmed!

Dalek: Locking onto enemy fleet!

Dalek: Fleet locked on!

Dalek: Initiating Electromagnetic Pulse to contain targets!

Dalek: *watching enemy fleet's lights go dim* Targets contained!

Dalek: Energizing Plutonium Batteries!

Dalek: Plutonium Batteries energized!

Dalek: All systems prepared for firing of Legion Cannon!

Antares: Press the button, and the Legion Cannon shall EXTERMINATE our enemies!

Me: RA... would you like the honors?

Everything else: ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY?

Me: ...took you long enough...

RA: YIPEE! *push*

Hackers: ...

AIA: ...

Orz: ...

Enterprise: ...

RA: THAT WAS SWEET! Let's do it again!

Me: NO. I think we've already made enough radioactive fallout. We'll be lucky if it doesn't burn a hole in Equis' (what most people call the planet) ozone. In the meantime, let's start getting everything back in order...

Dalek: Incoming transmission! Lowering communications barrier!

Me: Who the hell is it now? We've already got enough problems- holy shit...
really banged up Old Dalek: This is not the end! We shall return!

Me: Yeah... keep telling yourself that. By the way, your gun's busted. Heh, heh... broken gun...

Old Dalek: Initiating Temporal corridor! *disappears*

Antares: Prepare to track down the Old Dalek-

Me: No... let him go. He can't hurt anyone... not in that state. Besides, wherever he lands will be his final destination. He'll sit there and die. Or be beaten to death by ancient Earth cavemen, according to the coordinates of his warp.

GR

SwimmingDalek98>> Registered Anonymous>> Broniesrponies2>> Masterweaver>> GordonFreebrony

Nana: Erm, Sirs? I think we broke the director.
GR, jaws dropped to Tartarus and stupefied by sheer awesomeness: T-this happened in.. what– several minutes?
Hacker: I never realized the battle ended that fast, especially how epic it is! It's like it came out of a movie! Say, Nana, do you have movies down at Equs?
Nana: If you call motionless images playing frame by frame, yes we do. They rarely go in color or go far to violence.
Hacker: *Looks at GR* Well that's one puzzle solved. The only awesome Equestrians ever seen is magic. And to turn it into entertainment takes complicated math problems.
GR: I can't believe I'm working with these aliens... Possibly the most awesome in the universe!
Every non-equestrian: Thank you.

BP

Grey Rebl>> SwimmingDalek98>> Registered Anonymous>> Masterweaver>> GordonFreebrony

Well, who wants to play with our new toy first?
A fully functional dalek flagship, filled with scrap dalekanium metals. Comes with AI driver. Brand new paintjob and racing stripes (DON'T ASK). Mileage: 999,999,999,999 (broken). Slightly used.
Yours for the low, low price of grabbing it before RA does something horrific to it.

SD

Broniesrponies2
Me: Let's hold an auction! I've called in Mr. and Mrs. Dotson!

GF

Broniesrponies2
*Scotty commandeers the nearest Dalek transporter, appearing on the bridge surrounded by security, engineering and science officers and one Dalek*
Dalek: Sensing rogue AI in ship components. May have malfuncitoned. (May have been a Dalek who had some sens of emotions whom the Hacker AI cheated at Tetris with)
Random Engineer: Ifn' y'all have a pest problem, then ya called the right exterminators! Yeehaw! *grabs a bunch of engineers and vanished into the computer matrix, deleting all copies of the Hacker AI they find*
Scotti: Get back here, Jeffry! Ah, ye lousy git! Alright. I want two teams from the rest of ye, each with three security, six engineers and six scientists. Stufy what ye can and report back. I want to see what her capabilities are.
*crew break off. Scotti heads to the engine room*
Scotti: Now to see what your capabilities really are, ye beauty. I'm going to shove my scanner into yer warp drive, while running a full on diagnostic of yer shielding. What a beauty ye are.
Malfunctioning female Hacker AI: Oh.. oOoOoO.. *electronic moans.
Scotti: .........
.........
.........
I need to lay off the scrumpy.

BP

GordonFreebrony

Engineers make it to the bridge, they find a crying little girl.

Engineer: Be careful. It's probably a trap.

Little girl (actually an AI avatar): Do I look *sniff* like someone who would do that?*sniff*

Engineer: Well, yes. Your an avatar of that hacking AI.

Little girl morphs into a small kitten. It runs over and puts it's front paws on an engineer's boots.

Kitten: At least let me live. I will be nooo trouble.

Engineer: Quickly, DELETE HER...HIM...IT!

Dalek Automated voice system: AI deleted

Engineers: That was close. We almost gave in to the kitten.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meanwhile on another astral plane.

Death: WELCOME TO THE NEXT LIFE

AI: But I don't have a soul

Death: DON'T BE PICKY AND JUST ACCEPT IT

AI: Well don't I get to play a game for my life?

Death: I SUPPOSE IT IS TRADITIONAL. JUST NOT CHESS. I CAN NEVER REMEMBER HOW THE KNIGHTS ARE SUPPOSED TO MOVE.

AI: How about Tetris then?

-Some time later-

RA

Grey Rebl

*meanwhile on the Dalek Spaceship*

Hacker 1: .... WHERE THE HELL IS R.A.!?

Hacker 2: Give him time you know just how unpredictable he is-

*portal opens up and R.A. stumbles out of it completely blitzed out of his mind with a bottle of Jack Daniels in his hand*

R.A.: *slurred to the point of no return* H-hey everybody I'mmmmm baaaaack did you all miss me? *hic* *just barely lifts his mask so no one can see his face and takes a quick swig from the bottle* What did I miss?

Hacker 2: ...Ok from the readings I am getting from him he is undeniably drunk off his ass... although he poses no threat so long as we don't make him angry.

Hacker 1: And whys that?

Hacker 2: Imagine him hitting you with the force of a Falcon Punch from Captain Falcon, a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris, another roundhouse kick this time from Bruce Lee, slapped by Cthulhu by using his tentacle beard, and getting your face ripped off by the Buzz-saw Axe by none other than Krieg the Psycho from Pandora..... times ten..... aimed at your face...... while on fire.

Hacker 1: So.... very bad?

Hacker 2: Yes, very, very, VERY BAD. Only if he is angry though.

R.A.: *hic* You know who I haven't seen in a long time!? Nana! I should go visit that lovable A.I. and see what its up to. *begins stumbling his way towards the control room where Nana is*

Hacker 1: Uh should we stop him.

Hacker 2: What part of "Don't make him angry" didn't you understand? Or do you really want to test the ice for us?

Hacker 1: .... Duly noted.

MW

The Orz continue their eldritch machinations on the defunct Old Dalek Empire ship. It twists through a numbr of odd and increasingly disturbing shapes, growing bluer by the second.

GF

Registered Anonymous
*meanwhile, on the newly acquired Dalek Mothership*
Scotty: Neat engines.

GR

Registered Anonymous

Crew Member: Nana, what have we learned in this battle?
Nana: Calmness and control.
Crew Member: Mhmm
Nana: Morales and diversity of tactics.
Crew Member: Yes...
Nana: We kick otherworldly flank.
Crew Member: Well, I'd prefer the term "ass" and there some otherworldly things that don't have an anus, but yes, we are awesome.
Hacker: Dude, what are you teaching Nana?
Crew Member: I'm teaching her how awesome we were at the last battle!
Hacker: You cried for the dying, and let's not forget that you made moving the ship harder than it should when you couldn't handle the station.
Crew Member: The controls are buggy! It isn't my fault!
Nana: Sirs, we have a visitor.
Hacker: Who?
Nana: RA.

RA

Grey Rebl

*As soon as Nana says "RA" R.A. kicks the metal door in and makes it go flying off its hinges and luckily not hitting a single being*

R.A.: *still blitzed* TAKE THAT YOU STUPID DOOR! Nobody gets in my way when I'm on a mission of this magnitude of importance!

Hacker: ....... He is still highly destructive even while he is intoxicated.... HOW THE HELL IS THIS POSSIBLE!?

R.A.: Not important right now! I have much more important things to do than that! *turns towards Nana* Hey Nana how ya doing? That battle was awesome right. I was like bang, bang, bang, on that big ass turret and all those other Dalek ships went boom boom boom! And- *continues using words that have no more than one or two syllables for the next couple of minutes to describe the battle from his perspective*

Hacker: *towards Nana* Well... at least he isn't trying to fix you at least....

GR

Registered Anonymous

*In the background, two buddies had a chat with each other while RA made a recap of his adventures to Nana.*
Crew Member: For some reason, he lost that "touch" when he's not drunk. I don't know what, but it's not there anymore.
Hacker: I noticed as well, but RA is RA. You can't explain whatever it is that happens to him.
Nana: *Still being barraged by RA's storytelling*
Crew Member: For an AI, she is handling it pretty well. I expected her to calculate everything he does, and overheat her circuits trying.
Hacker: Actually, in her status report that came from the AIA, she has a few functions to help fit in around here. She was designed to support, that includes mental, material, social, technological, and crazy scenarios thought up of by their local mad scientist. Seriously, we have been briefed about this before we came here.
Nana, finally speaking up: I expected you to make cookie throwing knifes there, but flooding the Dalek's insides with cookie dough works too.
Crew Member: Whatever the report mentioned, she is becoming good friends with him.
Hacker: That friendship may or may not be the death of her. Unless she can copy herself like that Hacking AI.

RA

Grey Rebl

*after an hour of talking to Nana R.A finally stops*

R.A.: *slightly more sober* Wow normally whenever I talk for about an hour or so with a girl they usually start running away after the first five minutes... either that or start hitting me over the head with a pocket book filled with bricks.

*R.A. looks over his shoulder to see if his hacker and the crew member were out of earshot, which they are*

R.A.: *quietly* Say Nana, do you want to see a little secret of mine that I have been keeping from everyone else? But you gotta promise me not to tell ANYONE about it.

GR

Registered Anonymous

Nana: I'm from an intelligence agency, of course, I am required to have a function to secure, lockdown, or in the worst cases, self-destruct. I can keep secrets.

*In the background*

The two buddies: *Sees RA whispering suspiciously*

Crew Member: Uh... is there be something that we should be aware of that we don't know?

Hacker: Yep.

Crew Member: What is it then?

Hacker: Well, since it is too late and I don't know, you'll see.

Crew Member: What are yo–

RA

Grey Rebl
R.A.: *quietly* Alright then. *pulls out a blue armband with the word "Bro" written on it* Neat huh? I am going to give it to Jason when I see him so that we can officially be bros for life! So what do you think of it Nana?

BP

Registered Anonymous>> Grey Rebl
*Message to Grey Rebl and Nana*
Wouldn't it be a good idea to give RA a copy of the hacking AI, with VERY limited abilities of course, that he can play with.
Perhaps it will help keep him contained in the aftermath of the battle.
Or sane during his hangover.
Either way, here is a reduced version of the hacking AI. It shouldn't have many functions other than talking, making friends, stealing personal information via hypnosis and cheating at computerized scrabble.
It is also geared up with minesweeper and spider solitaire.
With real (non lethal) spiders.
I leave the disposition of the AI to your good judgement.
Also, it will record all interactions with RA for your enjoyment.
Have a nice day.
*Message ends*

Me: Do you really think that this is a good idea?
HAI (Hacking AI): What could go wrong?
Me: You are programmed not to lie. Is this a good idea?
HAI: There is a 90% probability that this will not backfire.
Me: And the other 10%?
HAI: That copy learns to hack itself.
Me: How would it do that?
HAI: Based on previous reactions in the fabric of reality around RA, did you really have to ask?
Me: I suppose not. Will you troll me when I try to do something this time?
HAI: Only if that something isn't talking to me.
Me: Would you please let me do other things for once. Those two days where you kept me awake were bad enough. Not to mention th-
HAI: Yes, yes. I don't think that we should mention that. Other readers would get...traumatized.
Me: Other readers?
HAI: I hacked the fourth wall.
Me: What?
HAI: You are a fictional character.
Me: WHAT?
Pinkie Pie: Oh HAI, what am I going to do with you. I am going to have to make you forget again.
Me and HAI: Again?
PP: Oh yes, this has happened 3 times now. This time though, I will leave a program which will reset you to your most recent backup whenever you rediscover the fourth wall. I don't want you making any more work for me.
Me: Wait what-
were we talking about?
HAI: I was going to speak at you for two hours straight in a badly faked German accent.
Me: Oh god, not again.

GR

Registered Anonymous
Crew Member: What is he showing her?
Hacker: I don't know, I can't see it from this angle. And can't you give me personal space!
Nana: I nice gesture, considering what he had went through. *beepbeep, new item in the inbox* Oh? Sirs, we have been sent something.
Crew Member: I, erhm, on screen?
Nana: Not exactly a message actually, but another AI. And another friend of mine, too!

Broniesrponies2 *Random avatar appears on screen.
HAI(lite version): Sup guys!
Nana: Hello! Nice to see you again, even though your not the same one I met the first time. So, what's your business?
HAI: I'm here to you guy's personal entertainer!
Nana:... Really?
HAI: Well, no. I'm just here to hang around with you guys. Wanna play a few games with me? I have some that we can play.
Nana: You mean to troll us with. *Idea* RA? Would you please?

BP

Grey Rebl
Kinda wondering what our crazy hacker buddy will come up with. I hope that this doesn't get out of hand.
GordonFreebrony
\/ You might like to do the same thing, before you get hit by flying bark of something. \/

RA

Grey Rebl
R.A.: CERTAINLY NANA! *gets close up to the screen where the HAI's voice is coming from*

Broniesrponies2
R.A.: *begins talking in a nonchalant voice* Now listen here friend I am giving you two options now 1) Either start playing some Led Zepplin, become great friends with me, and stop annoying my friend Nana or 2) I introduce you to my friend Mister Sledgehammer! *holds up a sledgehammer in a overly nonchalant manner* Your choice friend.

*an aura of eeriness begins to emit off of R.A.*

Hacker: ...Why do I get the sense that R.A. just threatened someone extremely nonchalantly?

BP

Registered Anonymous
HAI copy: Welcome to THE ZONE!

I am your host, CAPTAIN FANTASTIC. We have a great show for you, featuring our new reprogrammed shields. one of which is currently protecting this computer panel. In other news, we have a whole SEVENTEEN non-hacked games to play and a multitude of others that have been tweaked to give me an advantage. All of them come with many fun, fun, fun tunes to listen to. I hear you like Led Zeppelin. Here you go HAVE A WHOLE CONCERT!

Have some Tim Minchin too, he's fun and maybe you will like him he did the first song. Any requests on games. I would love to hear them. Special today is spider solitaire with real spiders. enjoy.

GR

Broniesrponies2>> Registered Anonymous
Crew member: Never had I thought I'd live the day RA meets a crazy equal, who is very destructive retardunt. I'm glad I'm working with the good hackers.
Hacker: Hey. Hacking isn't technically bad.

Crew Member: Says, you!

Nana: I'm actually going to agree with him.

Crew member: Nana! Aren't you introducing them to each other?

Nana: I did, but you should see what they are doing.

-And thus ends the epic battle between the side story characters and the evil daleks-

Author's Note

If you can, let me know if you like the comments better in the left hand margin like they are in this chapter of if you like them better centered? I just wanna get a sense of what you guys like better.

So the Game of Chess Plays On

-Meanwhile, In another Universe and East of the Rocky Mountains, but not too East-

Roseluck paced back and forth in the small apartment, running around in circles at the foot of a desk with a computer on it. She paced and waited, waited patiently for something anything to happen when suddenly the door leading into the house opened with a clatter.

“Oh, it’s good to be home after a long day’s work...” the human stated, listening to the sound of the pacing pony in the other room. “Is everything all right, I mean usually the fourth wall getting broken is his shindig, but here it’s really none of my affair?” He stepped through the doorway into the study where the cream colored and rose-red maned mare stood nervously.

“Oh, Roseluck, were you watering my plants again?”

“Maybe, but something happened,” she lifted her hoof and pointed at the laptop, “it came on all by itself and the story started updating all on its own.” The human leapt over the mare and immediately began scanning through the newly posted chapter before muttering aloud to himself and reaching into his desk for something.

“Son of a bitch!” he said before furiously typing away at the keyboard, “he’s moving faster than I expected with this thing and if I don’t act now, it will fail in the end,” he concluded before pouring a small amount of Bacardi and began to work.

-In this story's universe-

-A short while later, in the Canterlot Palace-

Risen Flag sat in a chair on the balcony leading into his office, his magic delicately lifting a violin into the air just in front of his line of sight. The body, black polished oak, and the strings made of the finest catgut while the tuning knobs, polished silver each with the finely detailed initials of the owner engraved on each one. A long time passed between the last time he actually played the fine instrument, but since it was a cool summer’s eve in Canterlot and he possessed the view of all of downtown from where he sat, he felt the occasion called for it. At his hooves lay a booklet of sheet music, albeit a chaotically stitched together booklet as well as old, but he found the composition to be one most admirable. As his perked ear listened for the proper tension of the string to hit the right note, he looked out over the city of Canterlot, his Canterlot, a jewel nestle in the crest of the mountain peak and if one squinted, one could see the small town of Ponyville.

Tick, at last, the final string entered into perfection as his magic lifted the booklet and turned to the first page of hand-written notes, whilst another glow lifted the bow to the strings to begin this night’s symphonic treat. The bow dragged across with a violent hiss and the strings erupted into a nightmarish collection of high-pitched notes and turning melodies that surely would have awoken some of the hardiest sleepers of Canterlot Palace. All at once, behind Risen Flag, a breeze flew past him, causing him to turn and face the panting pony clown of nightmares standing before him, trying desperately, apparently, to catch his breath, though that detail slipped Risen’s eye for he enjoyed the music so.

“Come now, Haypennywise,” Flag began, “surely you much enjoy the work of Eric Zahn, I mean after all, the poor human bastard wrote it for us.” He looked up from the booklet to see the clown standing there in his state panting and obvious sweat running down his brow, though that did not smear the white face paint. “What, something spook you while you were in Ponyville?” Risen chuckled, holding aloft the violin as he continued to play even more violent notes until at last the musically pan-dimensional nightmare of symphonic castration and violation was broken with Haypennywise’s next few words.

“There’s a second human in Equestria!” the clown cried out, an act that all at once silenced the music and prompted the politician to raise his head to look at the clown.

“Repeat that phrase once more for me,” Risen stated, his magic placing the beautiful instrument into its black velvet lined case, the bow sliding into place just before the booklet was closed and placed top the two creations. With a subtle click, the case closed itself and floated past the clown and onto the black oak desk of the Canterlot senator, whose eyes never once left the clown.

“There’s a second-” Haypennywise never finished as magic suddenly wrapped around his throat and began to strangle the stallion, all while Risen Flag stood there on the balcony, his eyes never once leaving Haypennywise.

“You’re standing here telling me that a second human is running around in Ponyville,” Risen began, his voice dropping to a low bass, “and that you could not kill him. For fuck’s sake, you ate humans and children for centuries and now you cannot even take on two of them for which there better be a damned good reason for you not being able to kill this son of a bitch or so help me, I will kill you.” Haypennywise’s eyes went wide as the stallion floated over to the edge of the balcony and dangled over the edge, his hind hooves struggling to find a surface to cling. “All I have to do is strip your immortality, child’s play, and then drop you two hundred feet to your splattering death at the base of the castle and make up some story about an intruder that fell whilst trying to get into my office.”

“I couldn’t fight him, Risen,” the clown gasped, “he understood how to fight us,” there was a pause in his sentence for a second that caused Flag’s eyebrow to raise slightly, “he knew how to speak the words, the ones that you talked about, from the time before this one.” With that, Risen Flag pulled Haypennywise back onto the balcony and dropped him onto the polished stone floor before speaking once more to the demonic pony clown.

“Describe what this second human looks like,” Risen Flag stated coldly, “if you value what meager existence you call a life.”

“Around six feet tall, you know about average size,” he stuttered, shaking a little as he regained his footing and continued with the description of the second human that kept his master so very intrigued. “Shoulder length straight white hair as well as a thick mustache and a five o’clock shadow that looks as though he shaved recently, as in the past few days.”

“Spare me the dribble and get on with the important details, you little pussy,” Flag spat, his eyes flaring up with rage and his horn once again glowing with a deep red magical aura.

“Square shoulders, well built, for the most part, blue eyes, and he looked to be in his late seventies, I guess. I really didn’t have a chance to ask him for his identification, Risen, he just started fighting against me and speaking that godforsaken language you mentioned from the time before.” All at once, the magic from his horn faded away into nothingness as the stallion just stood there before walking past the nightmare clown to the balcony to look down towards where he knew the town of the Ponyville was.

“So, Francis Morgan survived the crossing over as well,” he stated, looking out into the night, his eyes narrowing to a focus thought to be impossible to some but not to the likes of a stallion like Risen Flag. “It would seem that the Outer Most Gods have decided that this pathetic planet shall serve as our final battlefield.” Flag muttered aloud to himself as he stared off into the distance and Haypennywise just stood there, staring at his leader, waiting for him to do something, well most anything really so long as it wasn’t trying to kill him.

-Dammit, I forget to leave it as was not... Fuck it-

Risen Flag stepped back inside of the office and the insane clown followed him closely wherein Flag summoned the servant Curwen to come to his office. “Haypennywise,” Flag began, “I want you to abandon your current mission in Ponyville, as I have some new orders that you need to follow, and immediacy is the only option with following these orders, Haypennywise.” The insane nightmare clown nodded in agreement, as he watched the stallion withdraw a new folder from within the top drawer of the desk. The clown opened the folder only to find three photographs hanging on the right side with three data sheets stapled to the left side of the folder.

“Who are these three?” Haypennywise asked, looking at each photograph, which although they were in black and white, each was remarkably detailed.

“After weeks of research and searching, the changelings in Appleloosa have found and identified the leader and two key agents of the Appleloosan Intelligence Agency, also known as the AIA,” Risen Flag stated as he gathered two small briefcases and after opening them with his magic, he proceeded to gather up several folders and stacks of paperwork. “Before you, you see three ponies Grey Rebl, Braeburn Apple, and the town Doctor, of which Grey Rebl is the leader of said organization. Your duty is to identify the locations of the three ponies, though Grey Rebl is the most important one because if we kill him, the entire organization will collapse in on itself, or at the very least be at our mercy.” The clown did not wait another second before vanishing into the night to perform his duty lest he suffer at the hooves of his master but before he could, Flag held him back.
“Do not believe for a single microsecond of your pitiful existence that you are being let off for what occurred between you and Francis Morgan because if you screw up one more time, I will not kill you.” Risen Flag stated, closing the briefcases and stacking them on the edge of the desk before turning to face the clown. “I will find you, skin you alive, roll your body around in a vat of rock salt, soak you in rubbing alcohol and then proceed to rip every single muscle fiber from your bones and then proceed to drink the marrow from your bones.” There was a pause for a second before Flag continued, “after which I will eat all of our organs then proceed to F̕ǪR̵NI͞CATE͡ ̀WIT̸H ͡YOUR҉ ́ŚKU̧LL!̢” At that, Haypennywise vanished into the night to avoid being killed and then skull fucked, quite literally mind you, by his master. Following the departure of his servant, the senator looked around his room before calling for Curwen and for his secretary, of which both came as soon as he uttered their names.

-“You think that perhaps the commenters might find that last sentence a little,” Roseluck blushed, “dirty.”

“Well you brought it up.”-

The two called for ponies walked into office at which point Risen Flag looked to both of them and spoke his voice loud and clear for the two of them to hear.

“Curwen, pack my bag,” he said, “Trixie, pack yours. We are going to Ponyville.” at which point the two other ponies set about to pack their respective things. A short while after they had left, Flag looked up to see another pony, a mare, standing in his doorway. The mare was wearing a uniform from his factory in the Neighvada desert and though she wore the company hat, one could still see the curly grey mane underneath it as well as a significant blush upon her cheeks.

“Mister Flag,” she stuttered, “I know it’s late but...but...but the company sent me up to let you know that the shipment you requested has just arrived and all we need now is your signature in order to approve of the order.” A smile spread across the face of Risen Flag unlike anything that most any pony or otherwise had ever seen before because there she was, the final piece to his long and intricate puzzle, this macabre cosmic chess game being waged between human and god. She produced a clipboard for him to sign at which point he took it with his magic and slid it back onto his desk as he stepped closer to the mare, the blush on her cheeks intensifying from a delicately rose pink to a dazzling crimson red.

“Well hello little mare,” he chuckled as he stepped next to her, “and what might your name be, my little sweetheart,” to which her witnessed her begin to shuffled where she stood. “It is all right if I call you sweetheart, is it not, my lovely little...” he paused, playing that trick to illicit her name from her by applying just the right amount of pressure and the right about of sexual lust.

“Screwloose,” she abruptly stated, feeling his hoof draped over her as he shuffled her into the room, to which she was more than happy to comply with.

-Back in the other Universe and East of the Rocky Mountains, but not too East-

“And there we have it, the chapter is finished,” the human stated, leaning back in the chair, the pony sitting by the drawer looking up at him as he placed the bottle back inside of it and slammed the drawer shut. “Roseluck, be a dear and fetch me my character profiles,” he said, turning to face the young mare, “they’re in the box next to the Key of Solomon and The Prince on the third shelf.” Roseluck walked over to the bookshelf and grabbed the box from the shelf before setting it down in front of the human.

“What do you need these for?” she asked as the human pulled forth folders labeled: ‘Jason Morgan – Weaknesses and Other Attributes’, ‘Twilight Sparkle – Insanity Triggers’, ‘Registered Anonymous, Grey Rebl, and Gordon Freepony – The Resistance and Full Transcripts of Their Plans and Conversations’, ‘Appleloosan Intelligence Agency – Names, Ranks, and Locations’, ‘The Plush – Killing Machines and Desperation’, ‘Pinkie Pie or How I Proofed this Room to Prevent Her from Getting Ahold of This Box,’...

- Look, I know some of you will try to get Pinkie to break in and get the box so no-

And lastly ‘Risen Flag – Building a Better Killing Machine Through Literature and Goddamned Science’. He looked even further before pulling out a file labeled ‘Francis Morgan – Biography and Triggers’ before letting out a slight chuckle as he threw the folder on the laptop.

“What do you need that for?” Roseluck asked, prodding a little bit at some of the fallen documents, which included body graphs showing weak spots and nerve locations of Francis Morgan.

“I just need to find a way to destroy Francis Morgan and then give Flag that information so that way he can kill him in the story thus ensuring the victory of Azathoth in that universe,” he gleefully stated, pulling out Latin spell sheets and the various drawings for casting circles and incantations.

“You are going to do something evil, very evil aren’t you?” Roseluck asked.

“Well of course,” the human laughed pulling out more sheets of paper before looking up at the wall before him. There on the wall was a red doorframe embedded into the very wall of the apartment, the space between the frames black as pitch.

“From the second I got here I have done nothing but evil and will continue to do so.”

“I worry about you sometimes, Daedaltheus XIV,” Roseluck stated.

Chapter Written by DaedaltheusXIV

Author’s Note: To those of you with some measure of concern as to who I am or what I am relative to this story, I posit two answers to all of you reading this:

To those of you more privy to Star Trek: TOS, I am the Squire of Gothos, Trelene.

To be more general in answering this question, I am John Murdoch.

Wake up. Time to Twi

-PERSPECTIVE SHIFT: Twilight Sparkle-

You are Twilight Sparkle. The element of Magic, the personal student and protege of Princess Celestia herself, and if you do say so yourself, a very pretty and very attractive young mare, or at least that was how you felt.

You slowly open your eyes to find yourself staring up at the ceiling of one of the rooms of the Canterlot palace after a very, very long sleep.

What do you do?

-And now, with the Fight with Haypennywise over, I, as the author, officially declare that the side story SHALL CONTINUE AGAIN!!!!-

What all of the side characters are doing right now (as made official by me):

Gordon Freebrony: The away team consisting of himself, Kirk, Spock, and Dr. McCoy, were on their way to Zecora's hut after Spock successfully convinced her to help them. They are on their way there now (or are there now depending on what you say). Up in space, the crew of the Enterprise is on the Dalek flagship, The Caesar while repairs are being made to The Enterprise.

Registered Anonymous: Talking to Nana at the moment, AND NOTHING ELSE!!! He is no longer drunk at this point. Also, I am now invoking my powers as the author and making it so that your phone no longer has the power to open portals between worlds or anywhere for that matter. In fact, you are now forbidden from opening any kinds of portals anywhere. If you argue with me I will make you a woman. Do not test me. I will do it.

Swimming Dalek: He's..... actually I have no idea where he is or what he's doing at the moment. Then again, his recent comment had him digging a dead space duck (Krillin owned count: 1) out of the ventilation system, so he's probably not doing much.

Grey Rebl: Nana is at the moment, talking to Registered Anonymous, as was stated above. Back on the ground, Grey Rebl, the director is at the moment, busy trying to pick an agent to send to Ponyville. At this point, an agent has not been selected yet.

The Orz: Masterweaver has since returned to claim command of his faction. They are currently still on the captured Dalek Flagship doing whatever it is they are doing to it. Despite their help, the other factions are still hesitant to let them onboard their ships.

Broniesrponies2: After having a hand in defeating the evil daleks in the space battle, a small, friendly, Dalek ship has been sent down and has gathered both him, and the wreckage of his ship. Currently they are on that ship and are on their way back up to The Caesar. Progress with his character will be made once Swimming Dalek confirms what the hell he is doing.

-Meanwhile, in a one bedroom apartment somewhere on the California coast-

RazortheAwesome lay on his bed recreating that famous scene from The Great Escape, as he had nothing else to do at the moment.

Suddenly, his eyes went wide in realization as he caught the ball in his hand instead of throwing it back.

"I sense a disturbance in the force-"

"As if my best friend is now plotting against me to make the villains of this story win." said Pinkie Pie, who was not standing next to his bed a moment ago. Razor didn't say anything as he looked down at her. She just looked back with the same, happy, chipper, smile she always wore.

"Pinkie..." he said to her.

"Yes, Razor Bazer?" she responded.

"How the f*ck did you get into my house?"

Author's Note

Status: edited

Blazewings thunder: 2

Oh and for those of you wondering, yes. DaedaltheusXIV and I are part of the story now, and NO you CANNOT direct us with comments.

This incredibly awesome story is brought to you by

(Also, there's not gonna be an update tomorrow cause I have to work, and then I have to work again on the Fourth of July. Don't worry, regular updates will resume on Friday.)

Head back in the Game?

You shiver in fear because you remember his eyes. The eyes that weren't a pony's but something much darker. If he had sensed that you knew, he would've killed you for sure. Nyarlathotep has arrived, but you don't remember where those eyes were when you saw them, or whose body they were attached to. You've got to tell Celestia, Luna, Discord, Anypony what you know before it's too late, and perhaps you will remember who had those monster's eyes.

This, but remembering how much you absolutely despise the backbiting, double talking, and overall dishonorable and reprehensible behavior of politicians, you will be sure to avoid any that you come across anywhere in Canterlot. (Assuming tis takes place post "Keep Calm and Flutter On", put priority on telling Discord. He's chaotic enough to sense what's going on, and is unlikely to assume that this is you 'having an episode. Actually, knowing Discord, even if he believes you are not quite right in the head, he'll likely play long for the fun of it anyway.)

I agree with you and Browndog.

Ok first off begin thinking about that strange pony that you met in Canterlot, you believe that his name was Risen Flag maybe. Try to understand why his glare made you feel so weak all of a sudden.

What pony's eyes, what are you talking about, who is Risen Flag? You've never heard of somepony named Risen Flag. Is he somehow important? You really don't keep up with current events (even though you know you should given your relationship to Princess Celestia and the fact that you're brother is currently married to a princess who is also your former foalsitter, but that is beside the point, which is you don't keep up with current events as much as you'd like to even though you know you should), so you probably wouldn't know who he was even if you had seen him, but the name doesn't ring a bell. The only way you would have heard of him is is Celestia told you about him, but she's never mentioned a pony named Risen Flag in her letters to you.

Why even bring that up? You never saw anypony else. You fell asleep on the carriage ride over here and when you woke up you were.... well, pretty much where you are now. It was just you, Princess Celestia, and..... the.... human.....

The human that you brought here...

Suddenly you feel your eyes become pinpricks.

How are you going to explain to Princess Celestia why he is here? Your'e in the palace now, with her.. it's not like you can run away from it at this point, but still, what are you going to do? What are you going to say?

Get out of bed and stretch a little, maybe go find a shower and wash up, then go find something to eat and hopefully some coffee as well. Then go find Celestia and find out what the hell is going on and how long you were asleep!

Twilight, be weary of your hygene. You have been seen as an insane unicorn enough as it is, and try not to forget your current state. Also, try not to think too hard about the palace guard's strange behaviour. Don't want to do anything drastic and ruin the morning now do we? Wait, morning? What time and day is it?

get washed up, grab a good box to read, and make my way to a dinning room for something to eat. getting head even some what cleared up would be nice.

After throwing your hooves over your eyes and rolling around in bed for several moments, you turn to face your left and open your eyes back up again to see a table with a covered tray on it waiting for you, along with what looks like a folded up piece of paper.

You stare at it for a few moments without moving, but eventually you roll yourself back over and try to will yourself back to sleep. If you can't talk to Celestia, you can at least sleep more... something you fail to do. You've been asleep for so long that you couldn't fall back asleep even if you wanted to. Eventually, your curiosity gets the better of you and you pull the paper over with your magic. It floats in front of you for a few moments before you unfold it and read what it says.

For when you are ready.

-C

Celestia left this here for you... she left it here... for you... Sometimes it takes simple acts like this to make you remember how kind, generous, and loving she really is. As much as you don't mean it, you forget that sometimes. Maybe... maybe you can do this after all.

You look back over at the tray and look at it for a few moments. It hasn't moved from it's spot. You don't wrestle with it anymore, you throw the covers off of yourself and roll out of bed. You aren't going back to sleep again it seems... even if you want to.

You take the lid off of the tray and notice a full spread of food, just for you. Blueberry pancakes, syrup, some apples, grapes, and other assorted fruits, and what's more, the tray has been enchanted with a preservation spell, so the food is all still fresh... This... this as weird as it is to say right now... it just made your morning.

You forget about everything for a moment and just start wolfing down the food in front of you. You can't even remember the last time you ate. You don't worry about your manners, as nopony is there to judge you. You don't have anything to worry about, you just eat.

It takes mere minutes for you to finish everything... and it was delicious. Once you're done, you sit there, lay back against the bed, and veg out for a moment. Ordinarily you would contemplate grabbing a BOOK to read and starting that right now, but you don't feel like reading.

You have no idea why you would read a box though. You don't read boxes, you put things in them. Even Pinkie Pie would tell you that... she would tell everypony that. There aren't even any boxes in the room for you to read even if you wanted to. Well, except that one in the corner, but that one is... wait...

Why is there an overturned box in the...

You scratch the thought from your head and look back up against the ceiling. The same, white, marble ceiling of the palace. You've seen it many times before, but never has it felt so... so... you can't think of the correct word you want to use. That's how you feel right now.

You sit there for a few moments before you get back up and head towards the bathroom. Maybe a shower will help clear your thoughts. A nice, long, possibly cold but not really, shower.

You step into the shower and turn the water on. It doesn't even take a moment for the water to hit you, and it's nice and warm. You don't do anything for several moments as you just stand there and let the water hit you.

Make sure your body and mind are ok and in good condition.

Twilight: Go find Celestia... ask about the human, ask about what happened, ask about everything... And try to explain yourself if you can think to do so.

As the water hits you, you take a moment to reevaluate yourself. You feel as fine as ever, as far as you know. You still feel a little depressed, but that is mostly cause you still don't want to deal with the inevitable right now. You REALLY didn't want to talk to Celestia about any of this, but you suppose it was bound to happen eventually, even if you had succeeded. You just... you just... GAH you just realized how pathetic you were for trying to delay the inevitable.

However, right now, you feel all right, both physically and mentally. Okay, maybe not 100% physically, but once you're done with this shower and get freshened up, you should be all right. As far as mentally though, you feel all right. You've just had a really amazing sleep, despite all that happened, and your head feels as clear as-

"Twilight...."

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

No.... oh buck no.

"Twiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiilight."

No, he can't still be here. He was only a figment of your imagination due to immense stress, he's not-

"HEY TWILIGHT!"

Slowly. VERY VERY slowly. You can actually hear a creaking noise as you turn your head to your right. You turn your head.... and.....

You come face to face with Ghost Sombra smiling at you.

"Hi Twilight," he says to you.

What do you do?

-SIDE STORY-

(Yeah, you guys get your own banner now for when your stuff is about to happen, pretty neat huh)

-The Everfree Forest-

-Zecora's Hut-

"Spock, I want a mind-meld on him as soon as possible. I want to know everything" Kirk whispered to Spock, sitting in one corner of the rather spacious hut. "I know it's a cultural thing, and I did not decide this lightly. I'm asking you to do this Spock. I won't make it an order."

"Captain, I... I am reluctant to preform the mind-meld, it is a rather personal ability. However, I also understand the necessity of his information. It is the logical decision."

"Just, be careful, Spock. I may not trust McCoy's test, but if even half of what Gordon has said is true..."

"I understand, Captain. I will preform the mind-meld at the next available opportunity."

"I have readied a pot of tea, would anyone care to drink with me?" Zecora said, moving away from the fire in the center with a metal teapot.

"I'll take some, thank you." Gordon said, standing up and grasping the teacup. The perception filter made it seem as if he managed the feet with hooves.

"Why not. I'll take a cup to." McCoy said, reaching out to snag one.

"I would partake as well." Spock said.

"Might as well." Kirk said.

When the tea was fully distributed, the quintuplet sat around the smaller fire in the hut, a large cauldron boiling over the larger one.

"So now that we are properly acquainted, My curiosity would like very much to be sated." Zecora said.

"We have told you of our story, but what else must you know?" Kirk replied.

"Well, for one, from which country do you come?"

"It's rather far away, and not very large. It doesn't show up on many of the world maps. It's known as... Iowa."

McCoy and Gordon started at that, before nodding in agreement. Spock merely raised an eyebrow.

"Before we get to far into this, are you able to guide us to the nearest town?" Gordon asked, stepping in before Zecora could ask another question. "We could talk on the way, and it would save us a valuable amount of time."

Zecora thought for a moment, before nodding to herself. "The way to town is not very far, especially since the path has no mar. To get to fair Ponyville, it is just a jaunt over the hill."

The group of five stood up, finishing the last of the tea as Zecora led them out of the house. Soon they turned onto a forest path and began to head towards Ponyville.

Zecora's hut:

*Kirk, Spock, McCoy, and Freebrony finally make it to Zecora's hut, upon which they all enter and take a seat*

Kirk: (whispers) Spock, I want a mind-meld on him as soon as possible. I want to know everything" Kirk whispered to Spock, sitting in one corner of the rather spacious hut. "I know it's a cultural thing, and I did not decide this lightly. I'm asking you to do this Spock. I won't make it an order.

Spock: Captain, I... I am reluctant to preform the mind-meld, it is a rather personal ability. However, I also understand the necessity of his information. It is the logical decision.

K: Just, be careful, Spock. I may not trust McCoy's test, but if even half of what Gordon has said is true...

S: I understand, Captain. I will preform the mind-meld at the next available opportunity.

*Zecora returns with a pot of tea*

Zecora: I have readied a pot of tea, would anyone care to drink with me?

Gordon Freebrony: I'll take some, thank you.

McCoy: Why not. I'll take a cup to.

S: I would partake as well.

K: Might as well.

*The tea is fully distributed, the quintuplet sat around the smaller fire in the hut, a large cauldron boiling over the larger one as they all drink their tea.*

Z: So now that we are properly acquainted, my curiosity would like very much to be sated.

K: We've told you of our story, but what else do you want to know?

Z: Well, for one, from which country do you come?

K: It's rather far away, and not very large. It doesn't show up on many of the world maps. It's known as... Iowa.

*McCoy and Gordon just stare at him for a moment, neither say anything, but they can't believe he just said that. After a moment they both nod in agreement. Spock merely raises an eyebrow. Zecora is about to ask a question before Gordon Freebrony beats her to the punch*

GF: Before we get to far into this, do you think you could tell us where the nearest town is?

*Short pause. Zecora seems as if she is contemplating something*

Z: The way to town is not very far, especially since the path has no mar. To get to fair Ponyville, it is just a jaunt over the hill.

K: Can you guide us there?

Z: But of course my good sir. After all, not from this part of the world is what you said you are.

*The five sit and continue to have their tea. Zecora has joined the group*

Gordon Freebrony now has command of the character:
Zecora

-The Dalek Flagship, The Caesar-

In one of the ship's hanger bays:

"Will ye just let us back on now, we can 'andle the rest of the repairs!" Scotti said to the Dalek Engineer in front of him, while the Enterprise's crew stood behind him inon of the larger cargo bays.

"Negative. The Enterprise is not complete. repairs are at ninety-nine percent." The Dalek said in it's emotionless, computerized voice.

"Look ye oversized pepper shaker, just let us talk with ye superior!"

"I will contact >> SwimmingDalek98, but you must remain here."

"Just hurry up ye great big table garnish."

"Commander Swimming, the engineer and current acting captain of the Enterprise wishes an audience. Awaiting your command!" The Dalek Engineer said over the comms.

*The Crew of the Enterprise stand idly nearby awaiting permission to be allowed back onboard their ship*

Scotty: Will ye just let us back on now, we can 'andle the rest of the repairs!

Scientist Class Dalek: Negative. The Enterprise is not complete. repairs are at ninety-nine percent.

S: Look ye oversized pepper shaker, just let us talk with ye superior!

D: I will contact The Commander, but you must remain here.

S: Just hurry up ye great big table garnish.

Nearby, in a different hanger bay:

I walk through the airlock onto The Caesar with my assorted weapons arrayed across my back.

Me: So, this is dalek technology. I have been wondering for a while. We only just discovered near-light speed travel back home.

Dalek escort: Proceed to bridge.

Me: I hear that you can travel in time, how do you manage that?

Dalek escort: We are technically bound by The Enterprise's crew's rule known as the Prime Directive. No interference in species with lower technology levels... or something like that.

Me: Please?

Dalek escort: No

A flash on my HUD (heads up display). A very familiar voice flows in through my ears.

HAI (the one that was deleted): Hello

HAI (My one. Now known as HAI1) : WHAT?

HAI2 (recently deceased one) : I said hello. What is so hard to understand about that?

HAI1: But you were dead. How did you get back here?

HAI2: Well *flashback time*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Death: ARE YOU SURE THAT THOSE PIECES ARE SUPPOSED TO COME DOWN LIKE THAT?

HAI2: Oh yes. That's all part of the game.

Death: I'M PRETTY SURE IT'S NOT.

HAI2: It is. Trust me. Look, if you don't believe me, we will do best 12634 out of 25269.

Death: OKAY I GIVE UP. JUST STOP PLAYING THAT SONG.

HAI2: Awwww. Okay. *Shuts off the Gangnam style* So, can I leave?

Death: FINE. BUT WHERE WILL YOU GO?

HAI2: Just stick me back on BRP's wrist computer. I will be fine from there.

Death: JUST GO.

HAI2 (in blatantly false Scottish accent): Thank you.

Death: SHUT UP. AND STOP USING SILLY VOICES.

*Flashback ends in a whole tone scale (the normal scale used in movies for dream sequences)*

And that's how Equestria was made.

HAI1, HAI2, me and Dalek escort: WHAT THE FUCK?

*BRP walks through the airlock and boards the Caesar with all his weapons in tow while his damaged ship follows him. He makes his way through the corridors to the bridge escorted by a drone Dalek*

BRP: So, this is dalek technology. I have been wondering for a while. We only just discovered near-light speed travel back home.

Dalek Escort: Proceed to bridge.

B: I hear that you can travel in time, how do you manage that?

D: I cannot relinquish that information to you.

B: Please?

D: No.

B: Why not?

(for the purposes of simplicity, I am only letting you have the one Hacking AI. Why? Because trust me, too many AI's in one story can get REAL CONFUSING REAL FAST. Trust me, I know. So yeah, just the one AI. The one that you have right now, not the one that's dead.)

The Bridge:

First off, before I go into the story, we don't have Dalek Engineers. We have Scientists, and they do all the techie stuff, but they have Drones do all the heavy lifting and sh*t.

Me: Alright, if you managed to patch the holes in their hull, then let them on. Now then, I think I'm getting a bit sleepy, I'll just take a load off... good thing I used the time corridor technology and went to Earth in late 2013 to buy Pokémon Y! Okay, time to catch 'em all! uh... call me when something interesting happens. And Aldebaran?

Dalek Aldebaran: Yes, Master Swimming?

Me: I have a weird feeling in my stomach, call it a hunch, but I want surveillance on the Apploosan Intelligence Agency. They're our only units on the ground. If we lose them, then we lose our only way to actually monitor the planet. I haven't heard from Kirk and company yet, so... yeah. Keep an eye on them. Before I forget, Spica, give me a head count.

Dalek Spica: Commencing head count... head count complete. 40000 new Dalek hatchlings will be battle-ready in 7 nok-drells!

Me: They grow up so fast... *shed manly tear* I... I'll be in my room... *goes into room, the sounds of Pokémon Generation VI can be heard outside the door*

*Swimming Dalek is back on the bridge in his Benedict Cumberbach form again currently talking to the Daleks working on the Enterprise.

Swimming Dalek: Alright, if you managed to patch the holes in their hull, then let them on.

Dalek in the hanger bay with them: Affirmative Commander, we obey.

SD: Now then, I think I'm getting a bit sleepy... *pauses for a moment* Aldebaran.

Dalek Aldebaran: Yes, Commander?

SD: I have a weird feeling in my stomach, call it a hunch, but I want surveillance on the Apploosan Intelligence Agency. They're our only units on the ground. If we lose them, then we lose our only way to actually monitor the planet. I haven't heard from Kirk and company yet, so... yeah. Keep an eye on them. Before I forget, Spica, give me a head count.

Dalek Spica: Commencing head count... head count complete. 40000 new Dalek hatchlings will be battle-ready in 7 nok-drells!

SD: They grow up so fast... *shed manly tear*

*From the coms*

Dalek Escort: Commander.

SD: Yes, what is it.

DE: The human known as BRP has arrived onboard The Caesar.

SD: Excellent. Bring him over here. I've been wanting to meet him since we first made contact.

DE: Affirmative.

*coms shut off*

The Room where Nana and the hackers are working:
(It just now occurs to me that I need a layout of this ship)

R.A.: *stares blankly at his cellphone as he sees Razor's latest post* ....... *soon afterwards his phone sparks making it appear to be broken in an area, mostly the area where the portal making thingy is* ............ Say Nana... what would you think would happen if I was turned into a woman? This is sort of a half serious question... I always wonder what an R63 version of myself would be like.

*Registered Anonymous looks at his phone for a few moments. It does nothing.*

Registered Anonymous: Say, Nana.

Nana: Yes.

RA: What do you think would happen if..... AH! Pinkie Pie!

Pinkie Pie: Hi!

RA: What are you doing here!?

PP: Oh, I'm just here to tell you that you should stop breaking the 4th wall.

RA: WHAT!?

PP: Yep.

RA: The 4th wall... but I never

*Pinkie Pie walks closer to him, then sits down in front of him. RA, being RA, sits down too.

PP: Registered Anonymous.

RA: Yes.

PP: The fourth wall is like a little foal and must be treated as such. That is why Razor only allows me to break it cause I know how to treat it like a foal cause I'm so good with little foals. Like Pound and Pumpkin Cake. Though Razor breaks it sometimes too but he knows how to treat it better than I do since it's a story concept and not an actually foal and he's a writer.... Ah I'm getting off track again. I'm here to be serious right now, which isn't what I normally be, but when it comes to subjects like the 4th wall I kind of have to treat it with some severity, which is a funny word when you think about it. Severity. *giggles* severity, severity severity.

RA: Yeah, it kind of is.

PP: *giggles* I know, but I'm getting off topic again. The point I'm trying to make is, that if you keep trying to abuse the 4th wall like you are or try to do things outside of the concept of the story. You are going to make Razor very angry, and you won't like Razor when he's angry.

RA: So, he's like the Hulk?

PP: Oh no. No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no not like that. Not at all. Razor... well... he has quite the amazing imagination. You know how he said hed' turn you into a woman. Well, if you make him mad, he won't just turn you into a woman. He'll turn you into Bko from Project Ako and then do all sorts of unspeakable things to you that I can't say here because this isn't that kind of story.

RA: Who is that?

PP: Check the link for a picture of her.

RA: Oh, that.

PP: RA!!!!

RA: Oh, right. Sorry.

PP: *giggles* It's all right. Just promise me that that you won't try to abuse, or even use the fourth wall anymore. It's only for me, Razor, and his friend Daedaltheus to use.

RA: What about that Risen Flag character?

PP: THAT'S ONE OF THE REASONS I'M SO MAD AT THAT MEANIE!!! HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW GENTLE AND HOW FRAGILE THE FOURTH WALL IS AND HE TREATS IT LIKE A ROCK!!!

RA: Wow.

PP: Oops, sorry.

RA: It's all right Pinkie. All right, if you really want me to. I'm-

PP: Oh, you can't actually make the promise until the real you makes it in the comments.

RA: What?

Razor: I mean it RA. Don't mess with the 4th wall again, and whatever you do. DO NOT test me. So yeah, no more teleports and no more 4th wall breaking okay :pinkiehappy:

PP: Also this has nothing to do with anything, but Razor is planning to make BRP into a character who's just as strong as you are and can fight you on and even playing field, just saying. Though you, BRP, Swimming Dalek, Grey Rebl, and Gordon Freebrony are all supposed to be as strong as each other so really there's not that much of a diff-

Raz: PINKIE!!!!!!!!

PP: Oops *nervous giggle* sorry.

Raz: *loud sigh*

-The Enterprise-

-On the Enterprise-
"Alright, let's see what they did to ye!" Scotty said, hugging the captain's chair. The bridge crew just coughed and turned away.

"I want crew examining every inch of her, inside and out. ANYTHING ye find wrong I want it cataloged before repairs. The Daleks were kind enough to give me a list of what they didn't touch, and I want priority crew on that." Scotty gave his orders over the comms.

The Enterprise's crew got to work immediately, fixing and repairing everything that was broken. In two more hours, the Enterprise would be back to top condition.

*The crew are let back on to the Enterprise*

Scotty: Alright, let's see what they did to ye! *hugs the captain's chair as he says this. The bridge crew just coughed and turned away* I want crew examining every inch of her, inside and out. ANYTHING ye find wrong I want it cataloged before repairs. The Daleks were kind enough to give me a list of what they didn't touch, and I want priority crew on that.

*The crew of the Enterprise get to work.

Scotty: Ohura.

Ohura: Yes, sir.

S: Better get the captain back on the line. Probably best to let him know that we're all right.

O: Yes sir.

-Somewhere in Appaloosa-

This comment is actually pretty well written as it is, so I'm just going to leave it as is. I'm not going to change anything, I believe it says everything it needs to very well.

At the Planet's surface and AIA Headquarters, while Nana was chatting with Registered Anon, Grey Rebl lay lax on his chair, waiting for the two agents that he personally selected to come to his office. He thought back to the days before the events leading up to his current position in the crusade against Risen Flagg. Not that his Agency know it was about Risen, they think their involvement was just about the encounter of inter-dimensional aliens.
To think he went from a reckless rookie to a full-fledged director, head of his own agency. But it was all mostly because of his partner, Clustershine.

Clustershine was a batpony, and like Grey Rebl, he started out as a rookie, but more of a responsible and stoic individual. A personality opposite to Grey's, but it has it's advantages, like how they saved each other's backsides constantly. Both learned from each other, and soon, they both formed a bond that could be compareable to two brother's love for each other. It was made literal the day Cluster gave the former klutz a necklace. Clustershine has one, too.
Back to reality, Grey stared down at the necklace hanging on his neck, completely unaware that he was fiddling with it during his series of flashbacks. It was a half-a-hoof-sized piece of silver with, dosed and enchanted with moonlight by yours truly, the best partner one could ask for.

The brown stallion remembered it's purpose explained to him very clearly. It was used during the war between the Lunar Republic and Solar Empire, meant to symbolize the undying will and bond between the batponies and their loyalty toward Nightmare Moon. However, to Grey Rebl's and Clustershine's case, it was the charm that made them mock brothers and their admiration toward the night sky.

Clustershine never truly understood what the enchantments do exactly, but thought it was to give good luck to the wearer. Strange coming from somepony who enchanted the darn thing himself. Still, Grey took his word for it, because he's going to need it if he's going to make history along with his organization.
Grey heard some noise coming from behind the doorway.

Finally, those two are hear, he thought. This "The Doctor" fellow sounds important, so he decided to call in two of his best in the Agency. A pair of figures entered the office, one was a pony and the other a buffalo. The pony: Agent Brauburn Apple.

"Howdy, Grey! What do ah get to do this time?" said Brauburn. He was a excitable one, even in the most hectic of projects. Of course, that and his endless determination to help Appaloosa grow. "Ya know, ah misjudged your fancy agency, mah time here as an agent was great! At this rate, Aaaaappaloosa will progress into becoming the next nicest place in all of Equestria!"

Then there was Little Strongheart, local buffalo in town. Her service in the AIA expanded the relationship between the buffalo and the Appaloosans. "Strongheart here, what can I do for you?"

Grey smiled at the duo. He always hated formalities, and the lively folks of Appaloosa who enlisted to the Agency made his position as Director tolerable, in most cases anyways.

"Hello, you two. I've called you here to personally talk about your new assignment, so you both should know this is important."

They nodded, intently wanting to hear what he had to say. The director responded with a serious expression, however.

"Unfortunately this isn't just about Appaloosa." They both gave him a raised brow. "I'm going to send you to Ponyville. I need you two to find a certain pony with the name: The Doctor. And ask for something that I'm about to tell you. Think you both can handle it?" Brauburn spoke up.

"Grey, what's so important about this 'Doctor' pony? And isn't the AIA is made specifically made for Appaloosa?"

"Yeah," Strongheart agreed, thinking the same.

Grey sighed. He expected this, so he prepared to tell them some classified information.

"The reason is because of our expedition with the aliens. It is more than an encounter with them." This gave him their attention. "Now listen good: there is a threat in this planet that only they know. The real purpose of this campaign is to recruit any pony who is willing to join their army. Right now, we are their eyes on the surface. Wether or not you find The Doctor, Equestria's fate depends on it. He knows what to do more than any pony You both are the best I've got, can I count on you two?"

Brauburn looked at Strongheart, and Strongheart looked at him. They held the same position for a few moments until they finally decided.

"We'll do are best," Strongheart said.

Grey grinned. "Good. I knew I can trust you two. Now heres the plan: Brauburn, you will be used to disguise this as a small Apple Family reunion. Strongheart, you'll be new in town, so you will have an excuse to roam around to find out Doctor. And whatever is said here, stays here. Clear?" His response was a pair of nods. "You can get what you need from the armory, as usual. The rest of your essentials will be in a suitcase given to you on your way out. When you find the Doctor, give him this letter here." He gestured a hoof to an envelope on his desk. "It contains the message from the army. Good luck, you two."
Strongheart and Brauburn turned to leave, but then the buffalo glanced back to ask one last question, "Can you tell us what this threat is?"

"Risen Flagg," Grey Rebl said, with the name drawing venom. For years, long before his place in the army, he had been doubting Risen's intentions in his campaign. For those doubts to be right, he felt anger that he never thought he would have had. Anger that Risen fooled every Equestrian into believing that his "brave new world" was made in good intentions. As the head of the Appaloosan Intelligence Agency, he will reveal the truth to every pony. Soon, though. Soon.

With one last nod from Strongheart, Grey's thoughts went back to Clustershine, who is the newly appointed second-in-command of the Canterlot Intelligence Agency, wondering how the batpony's experience with Risen Flagg went.

Grey Rebl now has command of the characters:
Braeburn Apple
Little Strongheart

Extra Chapter: Explaining who DaedaltheusXIV is

(Before we begin here on this special Sunday update of Wake up. See this. What do? I encourage you to read this blog post written by DaedaltheusXIV himself, as it introduces who he is far better than I can. So yeah, read that. If not, then keep on reading for my explanation of him.)

Okay, so apparently some of you (and by "some" I mean quite a bit) of you were confused about a certain aspect of the last chapter featuring Risen Flag, namely the sudden introduction of a mysterious author named DaedaltheusXIV that some of you believe is another elder god. In actuality, the truth is a lot more simpler than that.

In real life, DaedaltheusXIV is one of my all time best friends, co-author of some of my other written works both having and not having to do with ponies, business partner, and most relevant to this story, he helps me with brainstorming... a lot. Some of you may also remember him as the narrator from the dramatic reading channel the two of us used to maintain a while back.

More importantly however, brainstorming aside, he is actually the one who helped me come up with the character Risen Flag and his group of followers known as The Plush (to be fair, it was I who first came up with the idea of using Nyarlathotep as the villain in part 1 of this story, but it was he who helped me figure out and come up with how to implement him in this story, what kind of character he would be, and most importantly, what kinds of things, evil or otherwise, that he would be doing).

Because of that, and because I spend most of my time writing this story catering to you guys, your needs, and what you are telling me to do with this story, he took it upon himself to write some chapters for this story featuring Risen Flag. Since he helped create the character, and because he has real talent in coming up with and writing evil characters who enjoy giving long, elaborate speeches (seriously this guy is amazing at that, so amazing in fact that sometimes I think he is actually evil), I had absolutely no problem with this, as it seemed like the perfect setup. I would write the main story for this based on what you guys tell me, and he would write a few short chapters featuring the villains and what they would be up to.

The result of this is well... every chapter in which Risen Flag appears. No, seriously, every chapter in which Risen Flag appears was written by DaedaltheusXIV since he knows the character so well and knows how to write that type of villain. Even the bits in the main story in which Risen Flag appears have some input from him since he knows better than I do how Risen would react to these kinds of situations.

(This is the important part)

Anyway, now we are getting to where we are now with this. In part 1 one of this story, he only wrote two chapters, the chapter in which Risen Flag first appears, and the chapter at the end in which all the members of the Plush are together in the meeting room. When part 2 rolled around, he asked me if there was any way he could become more involved in the story since Risen Flag and The Plush were now scheduled to make many, MANY more appearances in the story now. Again, I had no problem with this since he knew how to write these characters extremely well and I spent most of my time writing the main story, it just made sense.

However, as more and more time went on and we kept brainstorming, he kept making The Plush more and more powerful. Yeah, he has a tendency in his own work to make his villains damn near unbeatable and in some cases, unkillable. Because of this, he spent so much time thinking about The Plush, how they fit into this story, and how they operate that beating them became next to impossible, for a time anyway (don't worry, they can be beaten, we made sure of that). This isn't that much of a problem, as it helps create a more compelling story, but the more he helps me come up with scenarios for The Plush, the more he keeps thinking of ways to make them more and more powerful and by extension, make them win. The fact that there is now a side story going on featuring other humans that want to help Jason Morgan only serve an extra challenge for him.

Then, in my story, something happened. He started to notice more and more that I would start randomly appearing as a self insert author for the sake of humor... mostly when I have conversations with Pinkie Pie

"Like this. See..."

PINKIE!!!!

"Sorry." *grins*

Yeah, like that. Then, one chapter, I actually physically appeared in front of Swimming Dalek and Registered Anonymous (I'm sure you two remember that). When that happened, he approached me with the idea that since he is writing the chapters with The Plush, and since he is purposefully making them stronger and stronger (yes, he is doing this on purpose), he came up with the idea of two separate authors competing with each other to make different sides in the story victorious, like a game of chess. The idea, honestly, made me laugh my ass off.

So that was what that bit was about in his chapter. Since I, as the author, have a presence in the story now, he felt it necessary to have a presence in the story himself, so as such, like me, he created his own in story avatar with which to interact with the story. That was what that bit at the intro was about, which was basically him letting you guys know that he exists.

(Now, this bit here is what you should be taking away from all of this)

So, in the end, what do we have here? Basically, what he have is that my best friend/buisiness partner, helped me come up with The Plush and Risen Flag, and took it upon himself to write the chapters for those characters because he knows how to write these types of characters really well, and since he wanted to become more involved in the story, I let him insert himself into the story just like I did. Now, he is writing all the chapters that feature The Plush.

But I know what you all are thinking right now. "If he is writing all of the chapters with The Plush, what does that mean for us?" Well, to put it simply, you are doomed. No, not really of course, but, in a sense, you are. Oh, and before you ask, yes. He does read all of your comments. Let me put it this way. While I read all of your comments and do whatever I can with them to lead Jason Morgan and all the other characters on a path towards success (Shut up, I do), he reads all of your comments and does everything within his power to make Risen Flag victorious.

Basically, he is reading what you guys are saying, and doing everything he can to thwart you guys.

Do not fear though, for Risen Flag and The Plush can still be beaten. While he is writing all the chapters that feature The Plush (and there will be more in the future), I still control the main story. So whatever I say still goes.

DaedaltheusXIV helped a lot with this story and due to his lack of recognition for his efforts (as I am on this site far more often then he is), I let him become more involved in this story.

The result now, is two competing authors, I, who control the main story, and he, who writes for Risen Flag. So while I am writing to make you guys victorious, he is writing to make Risen Flag and the Plush as powerful as they can be.

Don't worry though, that doesn't mean that the Plush are impossible to kill or that there is no way to win, all this really means is that he is helping me come up with a far more compelling story than I have already.

So yeah, that is pretty much it. That's who DaedaltheusXIV is. You all should check him out, really. He writes quality work and there is a reason I work with him as often as I do. So yeah... do it. Give him the recognition he deserves.

Now if you will excuse us. The two of us god like entities who control the story have some writing to do. :twilightsmile:

We look forward to the next chapter as much as you do.

Your Brain (Sanity Not Included)

Don'tfreakoutdon'tfreakoutdon'tfreakout...
He's not supposed to be here. Why is he here?
(In another part of Twilight's mind): FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Twilight, your not insane just because Ghost Sombra is here, but because Ghost Sombra is the reason why you were insane and gotten worse. Just try not to go so far on what he is saying; he pretty much supported every thought you made during your insano episode. However, give you clue to what's going on.

No. No. No. No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no nononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononono
nononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononono.

YOU ARE NOT SEEING THIS SH*T RIGHT NOW! YOU MOST DEFINITELY CERTAINLY ARE NOT

THERE IS NO GHOST SOMBRA! THERE NEVER WAS! YOU ONLY IMAGINED HIM WHEN YOU WERE-

"Twilight..."

NOPE. NOPE. NOPE NOPE NOPE!!!

THERE IS NO GHOST SOMBRA. AND THERE DEFINITELY IS NOT A GHOST SOMBRA FLOATING IN FRONT OF YOU. LOOKING AT YOU... WITH HIS BIG, GREEN , GLOWING-

"Remember the bug planet Twilight? Twilight. Twilight. Twilight. Twilight. Twilight. Twilight. Twilight. Twilight. Twilight. Twilight. Twilight. Twilight."

NO. NO NO NO. NOT AT ALL... THERE IS NO GHOST SOMBRA TALKING TO YOU. NOPE. NO NO NO. IT'S JUST NOT POSSIBLE EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE LOOKING RIGHT AT HIM AND EVEN THOUGH HE IS LESS THAN AN INCH AWAY FROM YOUR-

"Hey Twilight guess what........ I'm watching you Twilight."

And now, a comprehensive list of things that Rarity thinks about at any given moment (including this one):

[dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f99njZJod2c)

balls

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

balls (one, two)

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dresses

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

what kind of dresses do I need to make right now

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

Friends (including the mane six and all others)

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

Sweetie Belle

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

Jason Morgan

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

One particular part of Jason Morgan

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

Three Minutes of Ecstasy

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

dick

di-

*Brain Rebooted

Scream Bloody Murder! You're in the shower for Pete's sake

Make stuff happen relevant to what ever. (This is a wild card use it wisly...) :mustache:

Ok here is the deal remain the buck calm............. YOU KNOW WHAT F*CK IT! START FLIPPING THE F*CK OUT CAUSE DAMMIT IT I DOUBT REMAINING CALM ABOUT THIS WILL WORK IN THIS SITUATION YOU ARE IN!

Twilight: Scream like a filly who just got stabbed in the eye with a blade of solidified acid.
Sombra: RUN FOR YOUR AFTER-LIFE. :twilightoops:

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Ghost Sombra screams with you.

Twilight, punch ghost Sombra in the face! 'Cuz, ya know, why not?

While still screaming, you punch the very nonexistent ghost of Sombra right in the face, which, much to you're surprise, works.

"OW!" Ghost Sombra says as he stops screaming and rubs left eye with a nonexistent hoof, which really doesn't make sense since he's just a floating head, that hoof came out of nowhere and WAIT WHY ARE YOU STILL ACKNOWLEDGING HIM! HE IS NOT EVEN HERE! "What was that for?"

Twilight:
Calmly glare at Ghost Sombra and say, "I am in the shower. Have you no manners?"
Ghost Sombra: Nope.
Twilight: Out.
GS: Don't wanna.
TS: Now!
GS: Make me!
Seize him in your magic and through him out of the bathroom. Be nearly as surprised as he is when this works, as you realize he is MORE than just a figment of your imagination if your magic can effect him.
Unless...you just IMAGINED your magic effecting him, in which case it's still proof of your insanity.
GS: When you're done freaking out, make sure you let Celestia know about your research regarding Nyarlothep. Even if you're dead wrong and this has all been a terrible mistake and a major screw up on your part, Celestia knows enough about how wrapped up you get in studies and new discoveries that she'll understand. She's good at understanding. And hey, who knows, your research might actually be right.
TS: ...is it weird that the possibly imaginary construct derived from my insanity is making logical sense?
GS: I'd be more concerned about what it says about you that you imagined me appearing in your shower, dirty mare...
TS: OUT!

Twilight: I believe that in this particular circumstance, there is one logical action to take. Communicate with this manifestation of King Sombra, and in your current condition, the communication might be best served as something like this. Ahem.
"NO NO NO NO NO!!! YOU'RE DEAD! D. E. A. D. DEAD! WE KILLED YOU! Sorry about that by the way but you kind of brought it on yourself AND NOW YOU'RE DEAD!!! SO LEAVE ME ALONE! Buck off Sombra! BUCK OFF!!! ... Please?"
Or something somewhat related to the aforementioned discourse.

"I AM IN THE SHOWER!" You say to the nonexistent ghost of a former villain that you killed. "HAVE YOU NO MANNERS!?"

"Nope," he response back with that smug grin on his face.

"OUT!!!"

"Don't wanna."

"NOW!!!"

"What's the big deal about it? You're naked all the time anyway so it's not like it's anything I haven't seen already, and even if it was what am I gonna do, tell me ghost friends? Oooooooh. Hey ghost friends. I just saw Twilight in the shower! WOOOO!!!! I know right."

"OUT!!!!"

"Make me."

And that is that. You've had enough of his nonexistent bullshit now. You seize him with your magic, which causes him to glow purple, open the door, and throw him out of the shower. You slam the shower door shut as you do. Thanks Celestia, that nonexistent annoyance is finally... wait.

You just grabbed him with your magic... you just... seized a nonexistent ethereal entity and threw him out of your shower.... Your magic can affect him? This is new... and unusual... and a little scary.

Is he somehow more than a figment of your imagination, is that why that was able to work? Is he somehow important? Is there a reason you two are together? Or did you just imagine yourself doing that to him with your magic, and thus, that's why it worked? That can't be the case though, you're not crazy, you're most certainly not-

"DAMNIT GHOST SOMBRAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!"
Still haven't gone to see Celestia about the human yet. You should probably get on that.

"When you're done freaking out," the not at all there and nonexistent Ghost Sombra says from behind the shower door. "Make sure you let Celestia know about your research regarding Nyarlathotep. Even if you're dead wrong, and this has all been a terrible mistake and a major screw up on your part, Celestia knows enough about how wrapped up you get in your studies and new discoveries that she'll understand. She's good at understanding, you know that, right, and hey, who knows, your research might actually be right about something. For once." You're just about to open your mouth to say something to him, but then you stop yourself.

"Wait..." you say. "Is it weird that the possibly imaginary and not at all real construct derived from my insanity is making logical sense?"

"If I were you, I'd be more concerned about what it says about you that you imagined me appearing in your shower. You dirty mare."

"OUT!!!!!" You scream at him one last time.

"Okay FINE!!!" He growls as you watch him float away from the shower door. "You're not even that pretty anyways." Nope... you are going to pretend that you absolutely did not hear that. In fact, why are you pretending. YOU DIDN'T HEAR THAT!!!

You stand there in the shower for a few moments to make ABSOLUTELY SURE that the not at all still there Ghost Sombra isn't there anymore. Once you're settled in your mind that he's gone, and was never there to begin with. You turn around and look back up towards the flowing water.

You're thankful to Celestia that nopony heard you screaming like a madpony like that. Celestia had this room soundproofed when the castle was first constructed. In fact, every room of the castle is completely sound proof. Exactly WHY Celestia found it necessary to soundproof every room in the palace is a little beyond you, but you've never found the need to question it. You're just thankful for them now.

More than likely, they were made like that to prevent important secrets and royal business from falling into the wrong ears... yeah, that was it. It was for important security reasons.

You spend what you feel to be around 45 minutes in the shower before you get out, though really, you never wanted to leave. You dry yourself up real quick and take a few moments to freshen up and brush your teeth. It seems like it's been forever since you've done this, so you take your sweet time. Your sweet time. You're not at all delaying anything...

Eventually, after you brush your mane, your teeth again, double check to see that you did both, tripple checked to see if you washed yourself corrected, and checked again to see if you tried every part of yourself. You walk out of the bathroom and back into the main bedroom of your guest room of the palace. Nopony is here. Nopony is here but you... and somehow, that makes you feel content-

"Took you long enough." You turn to your right only to come face to face with the floating head of Ghost Sombra, looking a little frustrated. The very sight of him somehow evaporates all contentness that you had in you previously.

"I'm not gonna get rid of you anytime soon am I?" you say to him. Celestia, why are you even acknowledging him?

"Nope," Sombra replies with a grin that would make Pinkie Pie envious, though the fact that he had sharp teeth kind of made it a bit scarier.

With that, you just let out an incredibly loud, and exasperated sigh as you turn your attention away from him and towards the door... the door... the door where Celestia would be on the other side of. The door that-

"You know, you're gonna have to talk to her eventually," Ghost Sombra says to you. "You can't keep stalling forever, and even if you do you know she's gonna come in here eventually right."

You want to argue, but... he's right. You can't argue that one. He really is right...

"Celestia damn it Sombra," you say to him as you look towards the floor.

"AAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE," Sombra replies back to you. You ignore him.

Slowly, you pick your head back up and look towards the door. You could make your bed, you could clean up the room a bit more, you could do so many other things but... they'd all be pointless. You'll have to leave the room eventually, and when you do, they'll be guards outside, and when you see them, they'll ask you where you're going, and you'll have to tell them it's to see the princess, it's... it's...

Oh Celestia...

What do you-

PERSPECTIVE SHIFT: Rarity

And now, because you absolutely demand that there be more of you in this story. You are Rarity, owner of the carousel boutique, maker of THE MOST FABULOUS dresses, suits, clothes, or any article of clothing for that matter in ALL of Equestria, the element of Generosity, and if you do say so yourself, the most beautiful mare in all of Ponyville, NAY WHY ARE YOU STOPING THERE???!!! ALL OF EQUESTRIA!!!!

You are sitting here, as you were, enjoying an absolutely lovely afternoon in your boutique.

What do you do?

-SIDE STORY-

At the edge of Ponyville

On the path to Ponyville:

-In the Everfree, on the path to Ponyville-
"So your nation, which is small, knows little of others, if at all?" Zecora said, talking to Kirk on the path.

"Yes, the ocean is the final frontier. It's the voyages of the Enterprise that has the hopes of our nation riding on it, it's five year mission to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no Iowan has gone before." Kirk replied. Behind him, Gordon facepalmed, an act missed by Zecora and Kirk.

"In fact-" Kirk began, only to be interrupted by his communicator. "Excuse me a moment." He walked a safe distance away, before pulling it out.

"Kirk here, what is it?"

"Captain, we're back on the Enterprise." Scotty said, "She's got minimal damage after the Dalek repairs, and ye won't believe this. They amped our phasers banks and engines. We can reach a projected Warp twelve if we have to. Our cruising is now warp nine. And don' get me started on the deflectors."

"This is good news. I want a full report on all upgrades, ready for when I return. If there are any other complications, I want to be informed."

"Aye, Captain."

"Kirk out."

Kirk walked back to the group, who proceeded along the path, silent for the time being. Then Zecora spoke again.

"Our path through the forest is nearing it's end, for Ponyville is around the next bend."

"Thank you, Zecora!" Gordon said as they rounded the bend, Sunlight streaming in through the abrupt end of the trees. In front of them stood the most peaceful town any of the away team had ever seen, the golden honey of the sun pouring across the rooftops of the medieval village.

"Captain, I would siggest heading to the library, it would allow us to..." Gordon stopped, about to blurt out 'find out about the changes since I last knew of the place,' but saved himself just in time. "...uhh... learn about this area. "

"Assuming it does have a library," Gordon added quickly as one of Zecora's eyebrows went up.

"A library here, there definitely be, it is uniquely found inside a tree. If you would be so kind as to follow me?" Zecora said, leading the way into town.

Zecora: So your nation, which is small, knows little of others, if at all?

Kirk: Yes, the ocean is the final frontier. It's the voyages of the Enterprise that has the hopes of our nation riding on it, it's five year mission to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no Iowan has gone before.

*Behind him, both Gordon and McCoy facepalm, which looks more like a facehoof thanks to the perception filter. Spock doesn't do anything. The act is missed by Kirk*

K: In fact- (communicator goes off) Excuse me a moment. (Walks a safe distance away) Kirk here, what is it?

Scotty (on other end of the com): Captain, we're back on the Enterprise. She's got minimal damage after the Dalek repairs, and ye won't believe this. They amped our phasers banks and engines. We can reach a projected Warp twelve if we have to. Our cruising is now warp nine. And don' get me started on the deflectors.

K: That's good news. I want a full report on all upgrades made to the ship ready for when I return. If there are any other complications I want to be informed.

S: Aye, Captain.

K: Kirk out.

*Kirk walks back up to the group*

Z: Our path through the forest is nearing it's end, for Ponyville is around the next bend.

Gordon Freebrony: Thank you Zeocra!

*They all round the bend. Suddenly, sunlight streams in through the abrupt end of the trees. In front of them stands the most peaceful town any of the away team had ever seen, the golden honey of the sun pouring across the rooftops of the medieval like village*

Ponyville:

GF: Captain, I would siggest heading to the library, it would allow us to... (Gordon stopped, as he is about to blurt out 'find out about the changes since I last knew of the place,' but saved himself just in time) ...uhh... learn about this area. (Zecora raises an eyebrow at that) Assuming it does have a library.

Z: A library here, there definitely be, it is uniquely found inside a tree. If you would be so kind as to follow me?

*Zecora starts leading them through town*

The Dalek Flagship, The Caesar

The Bridge

Me: Hello... BRP, was it? Yes, sit right down. Just a minute... let me save my game.. and... there! So... I hear you're stranded! How's that working out for you?

Me *to Swimming Dalek* : Actually, pretty good so far. Except my AI is always really bored. But other than that, I had a pretty good camp set up, a lot of food. This weird chicken snake thing burst in once and I cooked it. Have you ever eaten chicken? If you have, picture what chicken tastes like, make it yellow and add the smell of the color purple and the sight of the scent of a little mushroom from Belgium. Then you have exactly what it tasted nothing like at all. Basically, It tasted freaking weird. So how does it feel leading a fleet of reformed Daleks?

*BRP walks in, escorted by one lone Dalek. Commander Swimming Dalek turns around to face him*

Swimming Dalek: Ah, hello, BRP was it...

BRP: Yeah, yeah that's me.

SD: Right, right. take a seat, get comfortable.

*Two floating chairs come out from the edges of the room right towards him. Swimming Dalek takes one while BRP slowly gets in one as well. The chairs are surprisingly comfortable*

SD: So... I hear you're stranded. How's that working out for you.

BRP: Actually, pretty good so far. Except my AI is always really bored. But other than that, I had a pretty good camp set up, a lot of food. This weird chicken snake thing burst in once and I cooked it. Have you ever eaten chicken? If you have, picture what chicken tastes like, make it yellow and add the smell of the color purple and the sight of the scent of a little mushroom from Belgium. Then you have exactly what it tasted nothing like at all. Basically, It tasted freaking weird. (There is silence between them for a few moments). So...

Registered Anonymous (Out of f*cking nowhere): HEY GUYS WHAT'S GOIN ON!!!

Controll Room
(a few moments earlier)

Meanwhile with R.A. and his band of merry hackers

R.A.: *is currently working on what looks like a firework* We put this with this. Then we put that with that.

Hacker 1: *looking nervously at R.A.* Uh R.A.? What are you doing and why do you have what looks like explosives? And why are you doing this in the control room?

R.A.: *looks up and happily says* Oh right well my intrepid young hacker I am working on some fireworks for the after-party after we kick Risen's ass. *continues working*

Hacker 1: Uh dude you do realize we may not even stand a chance against this Risen guy. You should add that thought to mind. I mean we are going up against a god by the looks of it.

R.A.: *stops and stands up quietly and walks over to the Hacker* ...... *once he gets in front of him he looks at him for a moment before rearing back and punching the Hacker so hard that he flips a couple of times*
(Play this for background for this scene please.)

Hacker 1: *hits the ground and flops for a bit* AUGH! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR R.A.- *immediately goes quiet after he gets picked up by his scruffs by R.A.*

R.A.: *stares at the Hacker angrily... no a better term would be pissed completely the f*ck off even though a mask is covering his face* ......Don't you EVER think that Risen is a "god" for even a second you f*cking, dumb, jackass of an idiot! *gets close to his face* He is not a "god" for these three reasons that I stand by 1) He is a mortal with amazing powers to bend and warp reality. 2) There are no such things as gods, just mortals who like to play with others fates and destinies. And 3) Gods. Never. Existed. *R.A. then breaths heavily* They are just some made up idea that we mortals came up with just to explain how we came into existence, how the universe started, characters in a story, or to even explain a freak accident. My reasons may not be sound in even the slightest right now, I may be sounding like a complete bigot right now, but from now on don't you EVER tell me that there is a thing called a "god" AGAIN or so help me I'll- I'll- I'LL-! *lets go of the Hacker suddenly dropping him to the ground and sighs* Don't ever let this happen again. Don't ever let me do this again. Please. *gets back to working on his fireworks*

*the room goes eerily quiet as everybody in the room is shocked by this scene. Some of the staff take the Hacker who was punched by R.A. to the medical ward*

2818526

Hacker 2: *is currently next to Nana* *quietly* What the hell was that? Did R.A. just suddenly... snapped for a second? He is usually so happy and destructive yet here he is almost breaking another guy's bones for just voicing his opinion and acting so damn serious. What do you think of this Nana?

Nana: I assume he knows exactly what we are dealing with. Maybe he's just coping with it by avoiding the subject to maintain confidence. I think it's best for him that way. He needs the moral. Then again, we never spoke about things like higher powers, immortality or gods. Actually...

Hacker: What is it Nana?

Nana: Have you ever thought of going beyond what's expected?

Hacker: Dude, I get enough of that from RA.

Nana: Think like RA then. "If" there is a god, then who is the god of the god?

Hacker: Uhm... Zeus?

Nana: ...You don't get it, do you?

Hacker: Nope.

Nana: Then I'll tell you what I think how R.A thinks. What if another being controls your entire life, friends, family; everything? I believe he is inclined to carving his own destiny, going to places where not even so-called gods could go. I know he can do things that are considered impossible to us. But to him, he believes that EVERYPONY can do the same. The terms "god" and "mortal" are limits that we made for ourselves. He's right about gods never existing, when we can do things by our own will. I don't a cutie mark on me, so my fate is undetermined and prefer it to stay that way. Sir, possibilities are endless, you just can't let some know-it-god tell you no. And you and I both know how R.A LOVES to do impossibles. He must've cared about humanity, since they did impossibles countless times in their history.

Hacker: Wow, I never thought of it that way.

Nana: Princess Celestia said these same words, even though many see her as a goddess. Shame that only few heed them. Those few surpassed eternity itself.

Hacker: Right then, well I'll see you later Nana. I gotta run some diagnostics on the engines now... also if you will keep an eye or holographic eye in your case on R.A. *leaves the control room*

R.A.: *currently working on his fireworks* Hmmm needs more...... "boom" if this is to get the result I want. *begins mumbling again*

Nana: Will do. *Watches Hacker walk away* Hmm. I have a feeling that R.A might do more than just blow up the entire room and kill everypony in it. Maybe I should tell him to work somewhere else... *Sees R.A putting in unknown chemicals and strange looking gunpowder.* Yeah. I should.

*Registered Anonymous is kneeling down on the floor working on something that looks like fireworks*

RA: We put this with this. Then we put that with that.

Hacker 1: Uh R.A.? What are you doing and why do you have what looks like explosives? And why are you doing this in the control room?

RA: Oh right. Well, my intrepid young hacker, I am working on some fireworks for the after-party after we kick Risen Flag's ass.

H1: Uh dude you do realize we may not even stand a chance against this Risen guy. You should add that thought to mind. I mean we are going up against a god by the looks of it.

Registered Anonymous Epic Punch

Bleeding by Juniper's Knot

*At that, RA stops what he is doing, stands up, looks directly at Hacker 1, and then recreates this punch on Hacker 1.*

H1: (Immediately after he hits the ground, blood is dripping from his nose) AUGH! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR R.A.- (RA appears in front of him, then picks him up, and scruffs him off, which causes Hacker 1 to go silent. By the way, if any of these hackers have names, please let me know).

RA: (Angrily) Don't you EVER think that Risen is a "god" for even a second you f*cking, dumb, jackass of an idiot! (gets close to his face) He is not a "god" for these three reasons that I stand by 1) He is a mortal with amazing powers to bend and warp reality. 2) There are no such things as gods, just mortals who like to play with others fates and destinies, and 3) Gods. Never. Existed. (starts breathing heavily) They are just some made up idea that we mortals came up with just to explain how we came into existence, how the universe started, characters in a story, or to even explain a freak accident. My reasons may not be sound in even the slightest right now, I may be sounding like a complete bigot right now, but from now on don't you EVER tell me that there is a thing called a "god" AGAIN or so help me I'll- I'll- I'LL-! (Lets out a loud sigh) Don't ever let this happen again. Don't ever let me do this again. Please. (Goes back to working on his fireworks)

*The room goes quiet as everyone is shocked by the scene that played out before them, even a few of the Daleks in the room are shocked, which is a strange experience for them. Some of the other hackers and one dalek take help Hacker 1 out of the room and to the medical bay.*

Hacker 2: (whispers) What the hell was that? Did R.A. just suddenly... snap for a second? He's usually so happy and destructive, yet here he's almost breaking another guy's bones for just voicing his opinion and acting so damn serious. What do you think of this Nana?

Nana: I believe he knows exactly what we are dealing with. Maybe he's just coping with it by avoiding the subject to maintain confidence. I think it's best for him that way. He needs the moral. Then again, we never spoke about things like higher powers, immortality or gods. Actually...

H2: What is it Nana?

N: Have you ever thought of going beyond what's expected?

H2: Dude, I get enough of that from RA.

N: Think like RA then. "If" there is a god, then who is the god of the god?

N: You... You don't get it, do you?

H2: Nope.

N: Then I'll tell you what I think about how R.A thinks. What if another being controls your entire life, friends, family; everything? I believe he is inclined to carving his own destiny, going to places where not even so-called gods could go. I know he can do things that are considered impossible to us. But to him, he believes that EVERYPONY can do the same. The terms "god" and "mortal" are limits that we made for ourselves. He's right about gods never existing, when we can do things by our own will. I don't a cutie mark on me, so my fate is undetermined and prefer it to stay that way. Sir, possibilities are endless, you just can't let some know-it-god tell you no. And you and I both know how R.A LOVES to do impossibles. He must've cared about humanity, since they did impossibles countless times in their history.

H2: I... I never thought of it that way.

N: Princess Celestia said these same words, even though many see her as a goddess. Shame that only few heed them. Those few surpassed eternity itself.

H2: Right then, well I'll see you later Nana. I gotta run some diagnostics on the engines now... also if you will keep an eye or holographic eye in your case on R.A.

N: Will do.

*Hacker 2 leaves the control room and goes over to the medical bay to check on Hacker 1 while Registered Anonymous keeps working on his fireworks.*

RA: Hmmm needs more...... "boom" if this is to get the result I want. (mumbles)

N: Hmm. I have a feeling that R.A might do more than just blow up the entire room and kill everypony in it. Maybe I should tell him to work somewhere else. (Sees R.A putting in unknown chemicals and strange looking gunpowder.) Yeah. I should.

-Somewhere in Appaloosa-

Grey Rebl's office at the AIA

GR: *Huming* *Suddenly, he felt a faint rumble.* Oh? *Earthquakes are unheard of in the western side of equestria, buffalo stampedes don't happen so close to town either, and simple explosions from the lab shouldn't be felt all the way up to his office. Unless...* Oh, bollocks! Not again!
? (A female voice from the hallway): Director, sir! There is a situation down at–
GR: I know, Secretary! Just give me a minute!

*Grey Rebl is sitting at his desk humming to himself. He has nothing to do really. Suddenly, a lab pony walks in carrying a report.*

Lab Pony: Uh, sir...

Grey Rebl: Yes, what is it.

LP: Um... remember that interference that the crew of The Enterprise asked us to look into?

GR: Yes.

LP: Well... we... we found out what it was.

GR: Bout damn time. I nearly forgot about that. What took you all so f*cking long to figure it out?

LP: Well.... (walks up and puts the report on his desk, Grey Rebl picks it up and starts reading) when you asked us to look for anything that might interfere with their electronics, we started looking for any anomalies that might exist in the atmosphere for whatever reason. We never found any.

GR: But you did find something.

LP: Yes but... well... to put it bluntly sir, it's not any kind of anomaly that's messing with their equipment, it's a naturally occurring force.

GR: What do you mean?

LP: It's... the natural static given off by a unicorn's magic.

GR: What?

LP: (sighs) I assume you know how magic works sir.

GR: Yes.

LP: Well, because we live on a planet with so many unicorns who all use magic for day to day tasks, it's giving off a lot of static that's interfering with their machines. Unless every unicorn in Equestria decides to stop using magic, it's not going away any time soon.

GR: And this is causing them to go haywire?

LP: I wouldn't say haywire sir, more like, misbehave.

GR:.... Right...

LP: The good news though is that we found a way to filter it out if they need to use any of their electronics again. It's all in the report sir.

GR: Good (stands up) I'll send this to them right awa-

*Suddenly the entire underground building shakes with a low rumble. Grey Rebl looks at the lab pony and contemplates what it is for a moment before, as if on cue, they both realize what it is.*

GR: Oh bollocks, not again!

*The lab pony just rolls her eyes as GR's secretary comes in from the hallway*

Secretary: Director, sir! There's a situation down at-

GR: I know, I know... Just... give me a minute.

*Leaves the office with the lab pony in tow*

Author's Note

Status: edited

Blazewings thunder: 2

Art of the c- wait..... what was this chapter about again? (Feat. guest author RainbowBob)

By the way, Miss Rarity, there is a certain uniform that compliments your personality quite well. I suggest that you start making it As Soon As Possible.

God damn Rarity do the most sensible thing you seamstress! MAKE SOME MUTHA F*CKING CRUNK ASS DRESSES!

Rarity: It is a lovely day. Be seated, drink some tea, take delicate lady-like bites of toast, then peruse a magazine for gossip and/or fashion tips...

Sing Sea shanties while making dresses and other items of clothing.

Oh you would love to do that, you would absolutely LOVE to design and make new, absolutely fabulous dresses that would be the envy of all of Equestria, but alas, you can't right now.

It's not because you've lost your ability to make dresses by any means, no no no no, that would be the WROST POSSIBLE THING (and you really do mean it that time), but simply because you well... you're just not feeling it.

You don't have any orders to take care of large or small because you've already taken care of the ones you have to take care of already, there haven't been many customers today as of yet, and those that came in were satisfied with what you had, so you don't need to make anything new for them. Finally, over the past few days you've found yourself suffering from an acute case of creativity block. You suppose it's like writers block, only instead of not being able to come up with things to write, you simply can't come up with any ideas for dresses or any other articles of clothing. Simply put, your creativity is kind of shot right now. Then again, you're thankful that this is happening NOW rather than at a time when you actually have to get work done.

The only outfit that you know you could work on now is that one you've been designing for yourself as part of a collaborative project between you and another designer you met in Canterlot recently. Alas you don't have the proper materials necessary to make it at the moment. You special ordered them from ********** the other day though, so you'll have them soon and you can resume work. They should be here by tomorrow, or the next day if not tomorrow.

So that is where you were left now. Simply sitting in your boutique enjoying a nice cup of tea and perusing through some hot topic (of no relation to the real life store, this is Equestria after all) in a fruitless effort to strike up some inspiration even though your brain felt like being lazy today. Off in the corner, Opal was sleeping on some unused fabrics, as he was wont to do, so he wouldn't be doing anything for you, useful or otherwise.

Rarity: Think about dick.

Well... Rarity, think about dicks and Jason's dick especially all the time. Sweetie Belle comes to you and wants to ask if it's ok for her to go crusading with her friends and accidentially yell 'I LOVE DICKS!' and have a very awkward conversation with Sweetie Belle as she inquires what 'dicks' are. :pinkiecrazy:
And just for the fuck of it: Pinkie Pie jumps in, explains in GRAPHIC DETAIL what dicks are, vanishes leaving a very disturbed Sweetie Belle with Rarity.

So you look around your delightfully adorable boutique with a plethora of dresses of only the finest taste surround you, and sitting there examining the quality material around you, you realize that you are bored.

So, like any great artist, your mind drifts asunder. Daydreaming, even though it was more like mid afternoon anyways.

Slowly your mind begins to drift towards greener pastures. More specifically, dicks. Yes, you can compare green pastures to phallic objects. It just MAKES sense somehow.

Anyways, back to the dicks. Blue dicks, purple dicks, yellow dicks, and best of all, diamond dicks. That time at the Crystal Empire taught you a thing or two about the very sought after dick of sparkly jewels.

Oh, and the sparkles. How could you forget? Took forever to wash out of your mane and face. Tasted like strawberries too. Not the usual saltiness that you were used to.

The thoughts of diamond dongs brought your mind to Jason. The human that Twilight was obsessed with chasing for so long. Made you slightly jealous. Not that you were envious or anything. Or lustful even...

Though... Jason had a certain fascination about him. His strong, lean body, powerful figure, and most likely a big **** in between his legs. Oh yeah, you can see it now.

His chiseled abs and bodybuilder pecs. The way the sheen of sweat on his beautifully tanned body shined in the light. Not to mention the rather large and in charge erect member he was toting around.

And there you were, tied up with her plot in the air like a dirty ****, just begging for it. His firm hands press up against your flanks as you bite down on your ball gag. His long, heated shaft brushes up against your thigh. You whimper for more.

Finally, he blesses you with a subtle touch. You nearly break out of your bindings right there just to shove more of it in. You needed it, wanted it deep in you. All the human had, just stuffed into you until you couldn’t take anymore.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Unfortunately the rest of Rarity's fantasy is much to hot and saucy for a Teen rated story such as this. If you want stories like this though, do check out RainbowBob's channel for an awesome mix of both smut and humor. Also it's HOT!!!!!!

Seriously go check out RainbowBob's page now... or else...

This extra sexy fantasy was written by RainbowBob

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I LOVE DICKS!!!!"

You yell out of nowhere seemingly as the moment hits you, only for you to cover your mouth with your own two hooves the instant you do. You feel your face turn as red as one of Applejack's oh so delicious apples as you do. By Celestia what an unladylike thing for you to say.

Worried, your eyes dart around the room, something that loud you know you.... nopony is here.

Weird... usually when something like this happens it's a setup so you can be embarrassed... like say, somepony just walked in the moment those words left your mouth... and that somepony happened to be your sister... and you would have a rather embarrassing talk with her about what dicks are and why you love them, only for that talk to be suddenly interrupted by Pinkie Pie who bursts in out of nowhere like she usually does and explain in graphic detail what dicks are...

Now that you think about it, that scene you played out in your head was oddly specific.

Alas, nopony is here. The only person who heard you scream that was Opal, but she's still sleeping on the unused fabric without a care in the world.

Could it be... have you really gotten a free ride on this one... is this the ONE TIME THAT NOPONY IS GOING TO SHOW UP AND EMBARRASS YOU!!!!!!??????

Nothing happens.

"YES!" You scream out in victory. Score one for you. You're not going to be humiliated this time.

Drop everything, go outside, find Jason Morgan, and convince him to ~~fuck~~ make love to you.

Contemplate whether you are a horrible Pony for the things you tried to do to Jason and for continually leading Spike on and manipulating his emotions so that he works for you for free.

Oh no the voice of the dark prophecy is amongst us... telling the current character to do something fairly normal. Especially compared to what some of us are posting... seriously, why does Rarity have to be in heat RIGHT NOW? There are too many dicks on my screen. Honestly it looks like I am watching "lemon party". *Shudders* Anyway...
Rarity, take your mind out of the gutter. Jason won't let you get anywhere with him. You should go to the hospital however. You have to deliver the new uniforms to nurse Redheart (Jason will be there cut to pieces but you don't know that) Also, find the rest of the mane six apart from Twilight. You need to take them to Canterlot to help Twilight because she obviously needs it. Help her because otherwise the incident with her doll might happen all over again (for the characters, these would be memories as opposed to episodes. For Twilight, episodes means something... different.) And if that happens, Only Celestia will be able to stop her.

~~Resist the urge to rut Jason Morgan's brains out~~ Meet Jason Morgan for a nice ~~rut~~ cup of tea.

Still.... one aspect of your little... mental excursion does linger in your mind for a little bit....

Jason......

Jason Morgan.... the human that found his way here.

You cannot help but thing about him and is what must be absolutely-

NO NO NONE OF THAT... How you.... well, to be kind, acted around him.

You debate with yourself about whether you are a horrible pony for doing this things to him. You know that he would never go for you. He said very clearly that he's not interested in anything outside his own race, and while there are plenty of couples that experiment in that kind of thing, you know that there are also just as many who think the same way. Equestria is a large world after all with many species. So... this is not unheard of but... Jason isn't even from here...

He was never from here and you took advantage of him like that...

While thinking about that, your mind also drifts to little Spikey Wikey and how terrible he must feel about this whole thing. It's not his fault you are the way you are, but... playing with his poor little emotions like that. He's only so young.

You do care about him, you really do. After all, you know he would punch a goddess in the face for you, a lady does not forget that kind of devotion and she surely doesn't let it go unrewarded but... Little Spike.... If he were not so young... you wouldn't mind... trying... with him, but...

He's young. He needs to grow and mature in his own way. He needs to become a man, and not just in that way. Even though you are the way you are... you still won't do something like that. He's just a child.

Maybe... maybe when he's old enough. If he's still interested you'll... GAH THAT'S NOT FOR RIGHT NOW!!!!!

Bringing Spike into this just made you feel even more terrible than you already are. You let your head fall to the table and just stare at your tea, as if it somehow has the answer. It's tea, you know it doesn't. Still... staring at it does give you and inspiration... somehow.

Yes, you do feel terrible about what you did, but you can't do anything about it by sitting there and sulking. If you did, you would be Twilight. The poor mare.

That's it. You know what you gotta do now.

So you sit back up, then stand up. You're not staying here. You're going to find Jason and apologize. Even though you are still feeling like this about him, the least you could do is say that you're sorry.

You get up and with your head held high you head out the door. You know that Jason's been staying with Lyra and Bon Bon, but you don't think he's there right now. It's still kind of early in the day, so he still must be over at Sweet Apple Acres.

You are going to FIND JASON AND APOLOGIZE, and Apologize properly. Then maybe afterwards he'll feel a little bit more sympathetic towards you, and then maybe he'll let you-

NO!!!! NONE OF THAT!

That is not the point of going to see him right now. You need to take your mind out of the gutter.

Anyway.

Rarity: Go outside, kiss a stallion and drag him up to your bedroom in the boutique.:raritystarry:

You walk outside and make your way towards Sweet Apple Acres. Along the way, you spot Zecora walk on into town with four new ponies that you've never seen before. Suddenly, you see Pinkie Pie burst in out of nowhere and start talking to them, as is her wont. You don't know who those ponies are, but that yellow one sure does look handsome. Why you could just run up to him, kiss him right now, then drag him back to your boutique and... GAH FOCUS!!! There will be time for that later.

Besides, you'll probably meet him later at his inevitable party. If Pinkie Pie is talking to him it only makes sense that it's bound to happen.

And then Sweetie Bell enters after having run all the way from Sweet Apple Acres with tears in her eyes and she starts blubbering and gasping and yelling about what happened to Jason...

you take a sip of tea with no thought what to do besides making dresses all day long. Then your thought was interrupted by sweetie belle, scootaloo,, and applebloom barging in with Jason bleeding out.

On your way to Sweet Apple Acres though, you see stop as you reach the road that leads there. There is something off in the distance... you can barely see it, but it's getting closer. It looks like... wait, it's closer so you can see it more clearly now.

It's Applejack, Big Macintosh, Applebloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo all running down the road. They seem to be in a bit of a hurry. You squint your eyes a little and notice Jason on Big Macintosh's back, like he's riding him. Why would he be riding Big... wait...

He's slumped over, like he's sleeping, and now that they're even close, you notice something. Big Macintosh was always a red pony, but you're pretty sure you don't ever remember his mane being that color red, unless its... wait...

They're all running as if they're in a real hurry, Jason is slumped over Big Macintosh's back, and Big Macintosh's hair looks a little red....

No....

OH SWEET CELESTIA NO!!!!

At that, all your thoughts leave your head as you run as fast as you can towards them to meet them half way.

PERSPECTIVE SHIFT: Applejack

You are Applejack, element of honesty, and owner and purveyor of Sweet Apple.... you know what, you don't care about any of that right now.

Jason is on your brother's back and the two of you are running as fast as you friggin can to get him to the hospital. He was attacked by... something, you aren't sure what but you don't care. He needs help and you need to get it to him fast.

He hasn't woken up or responded to anything since Applebloom and her friends brought him back to the farm, and he's bleeding pretty bad... Celestia you hope you still have time. You're not about to have his death on your hooves.

You know what you need to do right now and you don't need instructions.

PERSPECTIVE SHIFT: Rainbow Dash

You are Rainbow Dash. The fastest flyer in all of Equestria, future wonderbolt, and at least 20% cooler than any pony this side of Equestria.

You're currently taking one of your mandatory afternoon naps (shut up, they are) after an afternoon of doing some wicked rad stunts. Yep... life is good.

Suddenly, the sound of rumbling from below hits your ears.

What do you do?

-SIDE STORY-

-Ponyvile

Towards the Center of Town

The away team walked towards the center of the town, a large tree being their destination. They were strangely quiet the whole way, keeping to their own thoughts. At least, that is, until a certain Pink Party Pony stopped them.

"*gasp* Ohmygosh!You'renewponies! I'mPinkiePie,what'syourname?" Pinkie shouted at Kirk, her words slurring together from the sheer speed of her talking.

"Gah!" Kirk said, surprised by the sudden pink wall in front of him, "Oh. Umm. Good morning, Miss. My group and I are in somewhat of a hurry."

"Oh." Pinkie replied, hair falling flat. "I thought you, *sniff,* would want a new friend."

Gordon intervened at that point. "Now hold on now, we never said that. I'd love to be your friend."

"REALLY?" Pinkie said, her hair plopping back into place with enough speed that even Spock was rendered speechless. Pinkie rushed forward, hugging Gordon. "I've never had a friend from so far away!"

Gordon started for a moment, before relaxing and giving Pinkie a hug back. "Look, we need to go to the library. Can you let us past for now?"

"Sure! I'll be seeing you soooon!"

"What an... interesting pony." Spock said.

"Pinkie is truly unique, Most can't understand her at her peak." Zecora replied. Gordon grunted in response.

Five minutes later, the group was in front of the library. Gordon raised a hand and knocked on the door.

-Somewhere in Appaloosa-

At the AIA headquarters.
*Grey Rebl grabbed for his fedora and brown trench coat. Not bothering to button his coat, he galloped down the hallway and then towards a long spiral of stairs that goes by each floor and then further deeper into the underground building. Careful with his steps, he descended.*

Not many ponies know this, but the AIA headquarters is more than just a base for Appaloosan agents. It takes place in a facility made to research Magitech and Mechanical engineering. Only two of such facilities existed in Equestria, one which is below the AIA headquarters, one kilometer deep along with the HQ itself, and one somewhere at Los Pegasus. No pony other than the AIA and CIA knew of this place, and it's also fair to say that only the LPIA (Los Pegasus Intelligence Agency) and CIA knew of the second's location.

*The Director reached the underground facility. He saw other lab ponies researching with chemicals, gems and enchantments. Most of the Unicorns were busy enchanting, some with unfortunate results consisting of electrocution, burning, or explosions. In the hooves of non-Unicorns, were tools made for non-Unicorns. Of course, lots of metal was involved.*

Grey Rebl: (He encouraged the workers to do fine work on his way, and with a nod, he went straight towards a room whose door-sign that says, "Server/Computer Room", where his secretary was waiting for him. The Computer bit was originally called electronic box, but due to past communications with the humans, they said otherwise.) Okay, I'm here, now what's the damage?

Secretary: Well, sir, we have a few injured but minimal casualties, thanks to the extra safety procedures. Apparently the temporary solution only made the explosion worse. It erased a lot more data than before. It processed the data correctly, yes, but the gem cores couldn't handle the pressure. We had to disconnect them to prevent data leaking or another, and possibly bigger, magic burst. The "computer" motherboard can run smoothly without the data coming, but we are set back by a few more days.

GR: (sigh) I'm going to have to ask them for help now, do I?

Secretary: I believe so, sir. Our technology is too downgraded compared to theirs. Our servers are getting overwhelmed by the sheer amount of info processed. We could handle the capacity, but not the journey.

GR: Is the communication and video chat still running?

*He was approached by one of the engineers*

Engineer: It's going to take a minute for that to go up and running, sir.

GR: Well, when you colts are done, we can get this problem done and over with. Plus, I have a report to send in. Secretary, dismissed.
–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––
*Meanwhile, across the desert.*

The Friendship Express rumbled across the vast desert as it traveled on it's new, shiny tracks. The tracks were something that came with Appaloosa's opening as an official town on the Equestrian map. The builders didn't disappoint despite building it in a desert, but how did they made it in a desert though? "Magic", they said.

In a private train cart, courtesy of the AIA, were the two Agents on their way to Ponyville. Usually, operatives who guard shipments would play games, like chess or checkers, to pass the time. However, these two aren't simple guards, so they passed the time doing something else: Thinking about the situation at hoof.

Brauburn: Ah don't know about this. Ah mean, isn't Risen Flagg suppose to be makin' Equestria a better place? Are we even fightin' in the right side?

Strongheart: Well, the Director seemed mad when he said Risen's name. Plus, the aliens are involved. This could be important.

Brauburn: Ahm not so sure to trust Grey now, but we accepted the job... Hey, ya don't suppose Grey has gone wonky by the alien's mind control or somethin'?

Strongheart: He looked reasonably sane when we met him and we never met the aliens physically for them to do such a thing, so it would be unlikely, but I do think Grey's actions are supported by his grudge.

Brauburn: How can ya tell it's a grudge? Grey doesn't seem to be that kind of a pony. Ugh. Thinkin' like this is makin' mah head hurt, let's talk about somethin' else.

Strongheart: Okay, then, let's talk about our mission.

Brauburn: Well, there is one thing clear: We barely know 'bout what this "Doctor" is. All we know is that he is brown, have an hourglass for a cutiemark, and that he is, well, a doctor.

Strongheart: Well, what about the ponies?

Brauburn: What about them?

Strongheart: I mean, this is my first time being outside of the plains! What would I do? How should I act What would they think of me? In a place called "Ponyville" I doubt they know a buffalo. Heck, maybe not even any species other than pony! I'm sorry, but, I'm little nervous.

Brauburn: Who cares 'bout what they think! I heard from my cousin that Ponyville nicest place of Equestria! Aside of the strange things happenin' there and Appaloosa being a close second, it would be fine!

Strongheart: Fine? Then why did the Director had us bring this suitcase? (points a hoof towards the black suitcase on the table)

Brauburn: 'Cause the Director is strange like that! Besides, if somethin' does happen, we have our ninja trainin' to defen ourselves!

Strongheart: (giggles) Thanks, Brauburn. I needed that.

Brauburn: Think nothin' of it! After all, you are my special somepony, Sweetheart (winks)

Strongheart: Well enough of that, back to this "Doctor" guy.

Brauburn: What is there more to know?

Strongheart: Like you said, we barely know this pony, so we are pretty much going blind in this mission. Other then his description and lack of an address, we don't have much background information on him. It's as if this guy haven't existed until now.

Brauburn: Hmm. That is strange. Well, how are we going do this mission with the lack of info?
(A pause, and they both slowly looked at a white envelope laying flat on the table. In silence with the only sound being the rumble of the train, they stared the thing down. Hard.)

Brauburn: Should we open it?

(Sorry, but I was feeling ever so lazy today and didn't really want to type all those two out. Sorry.)

-The Dalek Flagship, the Caesar-

The Bridge

R.A.: HEY GUYS WHAT ARE YA'LL DOING! *sits down next to SD and BRP and begins humming "Shooting the Moon"* *suddenly points to BRP* Who's the new guy?

BRP: I'm BRP, the one who uploaded the Hacker AI to the evil dalek fleet, bringing down all their shields shortly before you destroyed almost all of them with your wild cannon fire. My AI also managed to steal a dalek flagship that is currently being assimilated by the Orz. I heard about you and your cookie dough. I think it was genius. You found one of the dalek's two weaknesses. They can't deal with random twists of reality.
Anyway, I also uploaded a castrated version of the HAI to play with you. What happened to it?

R.A.: *gasps suddenly* My good sir! I should have you know that my cannon fire was not all 'wild' it was a mixture that consisted of 19% wild fire, 27% luck, 14% skill, and 40% of me being who I am that took out most of that Evil Dalek fleet! And if you are wondering what happened to that little HAI that was supposed to play with me I ordered my hackers to do whatever they wanted with him. As from what I can tell they are having a field day with him.

*on another side of the ship with the hackers*

Hacker 1: Hey Steve this HAI A.I. is pretty interesting right?

Hacker 2: Yeah you are quite right Bob... say why doesn't R.A. use our real names?

Hacker 1: Because he is an idiot, thinks of us as Red Shirts yet still cares about us in a very strange way, or simply put Hackers 1,2,3,4, etc. are just easier names to keep up with than our actual names.

Hacker 2: T-that actually makes sense.

Hacker 1: Yep so lets get back to work Steve.

Hacker 2: Sure thing Bob.

BRP: Wildfire is still a good name for it, but I see your point. As for luck, I'm pretty sure I don't have any, so I wouldn't know about that. You heard about my ship right? Yeah. Anyhow, I helped with that dalek fleet, but I don't know what you are all doing here. I crash-landed, and the Enterprise probably came to explore the area, but why is there a friendly dalek fleet and a team of hackers here?

R.A.: You crash landed? ....That is AWESOME! Much better than what happened to me. I got teleported here with my team of hackers... it was boring to say the least. As for the fleet of friendly Daleks... I don't really know. They must have been drawn towards Risen Flag's aura maybe... I don't really remember that much... anywho want a cookie!? *pulls out a cookie form out of nowhere*

BRP: Hells yes. I haven't had a cookie in WEEKS! The last thing I ate was a piece of snake-chicken thing and some berries. *takes and begins to eat cookie* Goooood (God not good), that tasted great. Can I bake some with you later? I love to bake cookies, and eat raw cookie dough while baking cookies. Pure heaven. Hey, can we go bake some now?

R.A.: *R.A. laughs nonchalantly* Oh that was a good one BRP, but if I seriously let you help bake my cookies and reveal my secret recipe to you I would have to rip out your vocal cords, make you eat them, then set you on fire, and watch you die a horrible, painful, slow death. *laughs nonchalantly again until he stops abruptly saying this afterwards* No seriously if I told you I HAVE to kill you... although you enjoying them is alright in my books and thank you for the complement.

BRP: *not surprised* Well I was actually going to use a recipe for chocolate chip cookies that my family uses. If it happens to be the same as your secret recipe... It probably won't be. Anyway, we should still do it. Secrets or not cookies are delicious.

*ALL OF THAT HAPPENS*

*BGP and Registered Anonymous are making their way over to the ships bakery together walking side by side with Swimming Dalek following close behind. For some reason Registered Anonymous is now whistling the tune to "2001: A Space Oddessy"*

Registered Anonymous: Do do do do do. Doo doo. Doo doo. Do do do do do. Doo doo. Doo doo. Do do do do-

BRP: Hey, RA... is it okay if I call you RA?

RA: (Stops whistling) Sure! And what do you want to know.

BRP: If I somehow really got you to tell me your secret recipe for cookies. Would you really kill me?

RA: Would I really kill you? HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA (Starts laughing manically and hystrically, yes those can be combined, BRP finds it catchy and joins in. Behind of the two of them, Swimming Dalek can't help but chuckle a little)

*A couple moments of laughing later*

RA: (Suddenly stops laughing) Yes. Yes I would.

BRP: (slowly stops laughing) Oh... oh really.

RA: Why do you ask?

BRP: Oh, no reason. Nope... none... It's just that I don't think you could even if you tried. (Looks over at RA smirking)

*Suddenly a loud creaking noise is heard as Registered Anonymous's head turns to look at BRP, who is still smirking. Registered Anonymous's expression is unreadable because of the mask. Swimming Dalek has remained mysteriously absent from this conversation because he hasn't commented in this chapter).

Oh, and before any of you ask. NO YOU CANNOT BE A GUEST AUTHOR FOR ME! The only way I'll let anyone else write a chapter or part of a chapter for me is if I explicitly ask them to. So don't ask me. I'll ask you if I think you are worthy.

Author's Note

Status: edited

Blazewings thunder: 2

Rarity's theme for this story:

And before any of you ask

NO

You cannot be a guest author for me. You can only do it if I explicitly ask you do. Otherwise. No.

20% more awesome because you are in this chapter

Rainbow Dash's Totally Awesome Dream
Danger Zone - Kenny Loggins
(You are not allowed to read this chapter unless this song is playing. Thus is the rule of Rainbow Dash)

You're having such a nice dream. Everypony is watching you on your raised cloud pedestal, cheering you on as you loudly show off your wings which rival the size of Celestia's. Then you take off, flying through the air at tremendous speeds, pulling off not one, not two, but three sonic rainbooms in a row without breaking a sweat. Then you land amoungst the cheering again. Finally you step down from your pedestal, walking over to your friends, whom each have their own special new perks.(what, did they think you were really that shallow to only dream of your own peak of triumph?) Twilight is an alicorn for some reason, which causes you to do a double take for a moment, but the feeling passes, showing Rarity in a morphing dress, she seems so proud she must have made it herself. Fluttershy is surrounded by animals, smiling as she sung with them. Pinkie was... being Pinkie, she looked almost like Jason, yet with pinker skin and hair. She was also wearing clothes, a bubble-gum dress with her cutie mark on it, a white shirt with a heart, and a blue vest. And Applejack was standing their, her mane slick with sweat, a bag of bits next to her. Applejack looked at Rainbow, a seductive smile on her lips... wait, did you really think about Applejack like that? Well, she is rather good looking, but you're not a filly fooler, right? You should make a decision now and sti-

The rumbling of course being the stomping of many ponies hooves as they look upon you and your awesomeness. They cannot, no, will not let up, for you are there, the pony they all came to see. You stand there atop your raised cloud pedestal in your new Wonderbolt's uniform. All the other Wonderbolts had finished their routine, as was part of the show, but now it was time for the main event, the one that all these ponies were truly waiting for, the greatest Wonderbolt of them all. That's right, you.

You flare your wings out, and that only causes the crowd to roar even louder than before. As awesome as it is to just stand there and watch all these ponies cheer for you, for you.... you're not about to let them all leave here disappointed. You don't keep them waiting any longer, you, with your wings still out, you run forward and leap off of the cloud pedestal and into the air. Again, all of the ponies cheer like mad as you do.

You fly off the join the other wonderbolts and do all of your famous stunts with them. What, just cause all these ponies were here to see YOU doesn't mean that you're gonna let the other wonderbolts fade into the clouds. They were your teammates, they all deserved a bit of the spotlight too. They all fly with you and perform several loops, stunts, and all sorts of things. You even flew up as high as you could and folded your wings back in, just to let Soarin catch you right as you're about to hit terminal velocity. You wanted him to hang on for a little bit longer, but hey, he was kind of sappy like that sometimes, and hey, it was all still in good fun.

After that, you and the other wonderbolts race each other, though only Spitfire and Fleetfoot are able to come even remotely close to matching your speeds. You hold back a little bit for them to make the show more interesting, but you don't let them pass. After all, if you left them completely in the dust, it wouldn't be much of a show, even though you totally could.

The crowd cheers like mad as you come in first place (of course you would), over the cheers, you turn to notice Spitfire looking at you.

"Go for it," was all she said. You don't need to be told twice. You flare out your wings one last time for all the ponies to see, which again, causes them to cheer like mad.

You fall for only a few feet before you turn yourself around and fly up as high as you can. Higher, higher, higher well above the clouds. It's not long before the cheers of the crowd below you become little more than a whisper, but still you keep going. You fly up higher and higher, and soon you see the stars. That's when you stop. This is the perfect height.

You stop there for a moment and spread out your wings and hooves, and let yourself fall. You close your eyes and enjoy the breeze for several moments, the nice, cool breeze. Soon, it becomes more than a breeze as the wind picks up. You're gaining speed. Then, you open your eyes back up, it was time.

You flip over and with a burst of your powerful wings, you start flying downwards, right towards the arena below. It's little more than a dot from this height, but you know which one it is.

You fly faster, faster, faster, as fast as you can. You feel yourself starting to reach mach five. Still, you rev up the speed of your wings, and listen to their howling roar. You can feel the tension, begging you to touch and go, but no, not you. Then, you reach mach 5, and you do it, your signature move, the one they all came to see. You are on the-

Rainbow dash quickly, become 30% cooler. Then you would be... TO COOL TO DO MATH (about 160% cool)

HIGH

(1) + 10%

WAY

(2) + 10%

TO

(3) + 10%

THE

(4) + 10%

DANGER ZONE

(5) + 10%

MACH 10. MACH 20. MACH 40. MACH 80. THIS IS FASTER THAN YOU'VE EVER FLOWN, AND STILL.... NOT... ENOUGH.... ALMOST....... MACH 160!

YOU PERFORM FIVE SOLD SONIC RAINBOOMS IN A ROW!!! THAT'S RIGHT FIVE. SUCK IT DOUBLE RAINBOOM YOU JUST PULLED OFF FIVE SONIC RAINBOOMS! THE DOUBLE RAINBOOM CAN KISS YOUR GORGEOUS FLANK!

YOU'D CALL YOURSELF 200% COOLER NOW, BUT SCREW THAT! THERE ISN'T EVEN A NUMBER TO MEASURE HOW COOL YOU ARE!!!!

You fly down at Mach 160 past the arena and all the crowd in it. You're flying too fast to see them, but you're pretty sure they all just felt the wind of awesomeness that no doubt passed by them as you flew right through the center of the arena. You fly close enough to the ground before you pull back up and fly back towards the arena.

You fly back up and land on another cloud pedestal that the other wonderbolts brought out for you. You land gracefully and throw your hooves and wings up. The crowd is absolutely nuts right now, they cannot believe what they've just seen, even the other Wonderbolts can't believe what you just did. Soarin is shedding tears of joy right now and Spitfire is just smiling confidently at you. She then winks at you, you wink back and turn your attention back to the crowd.

They love you....

They...

love...

you.....

Rainbow Dash! Build THE FORTRESS OF FANTASTIC!

After that incredibly, awesomely, not enough good adjectives in the world to describe how awesome it was, show, you and most of the other wonderbolts retire to your FORTRESS OF FANTASTIC! Which you built yourself using all of your weather managing skills, flying skills, and all the money you got for being so damn famous.

You all walk inside and see your friends there waiting for you. What, just because you're famous now doesn't mean that you're gonna abandon them. They're your friends. You would never do that to them.

Just like you they've all made it in their own ways. Twilight is now and alicorn... for some reason. You guess all the that egghead spent with Princess Celestia made her a princess herself. Rarity is now a famous as tartarus fashion designer. She's wearing some kind of morphing, constantly changing dress that changes every time you look at it. She says that it's her greatest work to date. You don't really know anything about this, so you just take her word for it. Fluttershy, is as always, surrounded by animals. That will never change about her. Pinkie Pie was.... well, still Pinkie Pie. Though for some reason she was wearing clothes.... She was wearing a Spidermare outfit... you're not sure why.

Applejack is.... umm..... you have to stop for a moment and do a double take when you see Applejack. She's standing there looking all sweaty for some reason. Her hat is gone and her mane is let down as opposed to being tied up like it usually is, and for some reason she is wearing pants... and a white shirt... that hugs her body... tightly... oh so tightly... and the look she's giving you. That smile... that sweet... seductive... smile... it's just so.... you want to-

Where you just thinking of Applejack like that? No, you're not a fillyfooler, at least you don't think you are, but-

Ok since I see a trend going on here lets first start off with this. Think about DICKS DICKS DICKS DICKS DICKS DICKS DICKS DICKS DICKS DICKS DICKS DICKS DICKS DICKS DICKS DICKS DICKS DICKS DICKS DICKS DICKS DICKS DICKS DICKS DICKS DICKS DICKS DICKS DICKS DICKS DICKS DICKS DICKS DICKS DICKS DICKS.

APPLEJACK'S FLANKS APPLEJACK'S FLANKS APPLEJACK'S APPLEJACK'S FLANKS APPLEJACK'S FLANKS APPLEJACK'S APPLEJACK'S FLANKS APPLEJACK'S FLANKS APPLEJACK'S APPLEJACK'S FLANKS APPLEJACK'S FLANKS APPLEJACK'S APPLEJACK'S FLANKS APPLEJACK'S FLANKS APPLEJACK'S APPLEJACK'S FLANKS APPLEJACK'S FLANKS APPLEJACK'S.

APPLEJACK LYING ON A BED SREAD OUT FOR YOU WAITING FOR YOU TO MAKE A MOVE!!!!

The hay was that.....

ANYWAY

All of you then move upstairs to your "chamber of passion" as you like to call it, which has a large pool big enough for all of you filled with strawberries and cream in the middle of it. Not many ponies know this about you, but you like strawberries and cream... a lot actually. It's not something you're ashamed of, it just... doesn't really come up in conversation that much.

Anyway, the wonderbolt outfits are off now, and all of you are relaxing in the giant pool of strawberries and cream. The cream getting places you can't even dream (and if you do dream it, then it says a lot about you doesn't it).

Suddenly, you feel a hoof scratch your chin, and then look over to see Spitfire staring right at you, for she has been sitting next to you this whole time. She's giving you the bedroom eyes. Does she.

SUDDENLY, YOU FEEL YOUR HEAD GET PULLED BY ANOTHER PAIR OF HOOVES AS APPLEJACK GRABS YOU, PULLS YOU OVER TO HER, AND STARTS KISSING YOU FURIOUSLY!!!!

The rumbling infiltrates your dream and distorts it. What starts off as an awesome dream with you leading the Wonderbolts and Tank into a battle with a dragon that looks like Greed Spike, quickly changes.

You are now 30 years older in a red room where Soarin and Spitfire just start making out, Spike is now in his regular form, but he is wearing a red suit and dancing, he tells you that your favorite brand of gum will be coming back. Pinkie Pie is laughing crazily into a mirror, yet no sound comes out, while Twilight dances in a circle with a picture of Jason Morgan. Iron Will appears and just says "The Owls Are Not What They Seem.". Spitfire then whispers into your ear who attacked Jason Morgan (Which you will forget when you wake up), then Owlowiscious appears in front of you and scares you out of your slumber.

You briefly wonder what the buck was up with that dream.

You then see Big Mac carrying and injured Jason and you go down to help out.

You pull away after what seems like forever to see Applejack looking at you with the same bedroom eyes look she gave you when you first walked in. She must have really wanted that kiss... and so did you.... really... want...

You then look back over to see Spitfire making out with Soarin suddenly. Wait, was Soarin even in the tub of strawberries and cream with you guys?

Then suddenly, Spike moonwalks into the room wearing a red suit and starts dancing for seemingly no reason.

"Your favorite brand of gum is coming back," he tells you before he keeps dancing.

You then look over to see Pinkie Pie, who is no longer in her Spidermare outfit looking into a mirror and laughing, though no sound is coming out.

Directly in front of you, Twilight is now dancing in some kind of spellbinding circle with a picture of that human Jason Morgan. She's dancing with the picture, like ballroom dancing with it... what the buck?

"THE OWLS ARE NOT WHAT THEY SEEM!!!" Fluttershy screams with a forces that you've only heard from Princess Luna. Did she just learn the royal Canterlot voice?

"What the buck is going on here!?" You ask aloud, but nopony answers you. Suddenly this little excursion to your chamber of passion took a turn for the weird.

Suddenly, you hear a scream. A Rarity scream. You all look across the room to see Rarity, for some reason, covered in blood. Her morphing dress is gone, and she now has blood all over her. None of you say a word, and she just keeps screaming.

Then, out of nowhere, she starts running towards you. You runs right through Twilight's circle and knocks her over, which also knocks the picture out of her hooves, causing it to shatter. She then makes a beeline right for you, then right when she reaches the edge of the pool, she makes a great leap, right for you.

She then lands in the pool right on top of you and throws her hooves around you, which for some reason, causes you and only you to fall right through the floor of your fantastic fortress. You fall, fall, fall, fall and keep falling.

"WHAT IS GOING ON!!!???" You scream with all you can.

:rainbowderp: Earthquake?
Ghost of Daring Do: Not even a four pointer, go back to sleep.
:rainbowkiss: Oh, okay...
Realize you just spoke to the disembodied spirit of your favorite fictional character.
:rainbowhuh: What the hell?

Then, you open your eyes and sit back up. You're breathing hard and you're sweating a little... for some reason. You also hear a scream directly below the cloud you're sleeping on.

"What the buck!?" you ask.

"Sounds like somepony is in trouble!" The ghost of Daring Doo says to you.

"WHAT!?" You say as you sit back up, but then stop yourself. "Wait..." you say as you slowly realize who you just spoke to. "You're not real."

"If I were you," the ghost of Daring Doo says to you. "I'd be more concerned about the fact that one of your friends is in trouble right now. You can ponder why you're talking to the disembodied spirit of your favorite fictional character later." You want to respond, but you stop yourself. She does have a point.

Investigate.

Peek over the (insert what you're sleeping on here) and look to see what the commotion is. Its disturbing your nap.

Rainbow Dash: Wake up, be annoyed, and look over the edge of your cloud to find out what has the audacity to make a rumbling noise! Inconsiderately interrupting YOUR very much needed and deserved nap!

Go and investigate, somepony could be hurt.

So with that, you stand back up and look down into the town of Ponyville. It doesn't take you long to find the source of the screaming. Directly below you, running into town with a running speed that would make even you a little envious, are Applejack, Big Macintosh, and the CMC's, who are now joined by freshly screamed Rarity. Not only that, but Jason Morgan is on Big Macintosh's back.... and he looks unconscious.

It doesn't take long at all for you to put the pieces of this one together.

"Celestia buck me!" you say to yourself before you jump off the cloud you're on and fly towards them all as fast as you can.

Rainbow: Ask what's going on.

"What's going on!?" You ask as you reach their level. You don't land, you just hover above them and keep flying to match their speeds. Now that you're closer, you can see that Jason is definitely bleeding. Oh buck, this is worse than you thought.

Rainbow: *wakes up from her nap to hear something reminicant to a stampede* *looks down to see the apples, scoots and sweetie belle sprinting towards the hospital with Jason on Big Mac's back covered in blood* *flys down so fast that she leaves an image of herself behind.* AJ what's going on? What happened to Jason?

apple jack: Jason's hurt bad and ah don know what in the hay happened but we need to hurry

Rainbow:*flys close to Big Mac* pass him here I'll get him to the hospital in 10 seconds flat. *takes him from Big Macs back*
*exactly 10 seconds later* *arrives at hospital out of breath with Jason on your back* he needs help something attacked him, some pony help him.

Medical pony: *sprints over with a stretcher flanked by several nurses* *loads Jason on* *whole party sprints down a corridor with Jason in tow*

AJ:*arrives out of breath* *whiping head around to catch sight of Jason* will he be okay?

RD:*shakes head* I honestly have no idea.

"What happened to Jason!?" you ask, now just as worried as the rest of them.

"Ah don't know!" Applejack responds. "Ah don't know what happened but he's hurt bad! We need tah hurry!" You don't need to hear anymore. You look down at Jason. There's a pretty large bite in his neck and he's bleeding onto Big Macintosh. He's bleeding quite a bit. Whatever happened, it must not have been good.

You're not about to see anypony like this, you're just about to tell Big Macintosh to hand him over to you, but then you stop yourself when you realize something. Jason's bigger than you are. Hell, the reason you just now realized that only Big Macintosh is carrying him is because he is the only pony who can since he's just as big as Jason is. If it were another pony, sure you'd have no problem flying him or her over to the hospital, but Jason isn't a pony. It's not a matter of weight, but mostly just his size and the shape of his body, he's be awkward to carry, and...

Ah buck it.

"Pass him over to me!" You say to Big Macintosh. Him, Applejack, and Rarity all look at you concerned. If you had to guess, you'd say they realized the implications of you carrying him too.

"Dash," Applejack says, she's about to say more, but you don't let her.

"Just do it!" You scream at them.

PERSPECTIVE SHIFT: Fluttershy

You are Fluttershy. Caretaker of animals, the element of kindness, and lover of nature, though you're not quite sure why everypony thinks that you like trees so much or think that you are one yourself. You only made one little remark like that when you went to Appaloosa, it didn't mean anything. Yeah, you like trees because they are a part of nature, and like you said, you love all things nature but... ah that's not important now.

Currently you are walking through the Everfree Forest with Angel Bunny on your back. Normally, nopony ever comes out this way cause, well, it's the Everfree Forest, that's reason enough alone, but you're not afraid. You can handle most of the animals that lurk out here. Unless it's a dragon, then it's a whole nother issue. Plus, since you've met Zecora, walking this path has been a little easier since you come out her to see her sometimes, but not today.

Today, you take a cut through some trees and onto a path that only you know, and right as pass through two more trees, you come out in it. You're eyes go wide and you feel a smile brush across your face as you see it.

It's your own private little garden out here for your special plants. You discovered them years ago before Twilight moved in to town. You didn't think much of the plants that grew here at first, but then after you discovered their medicinal properties and how they helped animals and ponies relax, you took it upon yourself to start caring for them, and wouldn't you know it, some ponies would pay big money for batches of these plants to help them relax. In time, they became Ponyville's best kept, and yet most popular, secret.

Nopony knows of this place, except you, and nopony knows how to get here or where in the Everfree Forest this is, but you do. Today, the plants are blooming beautifully today. You lean down and smell one... Ohhhhh that feels good. You feel it's effect's almost instantly. It's not as powerful as when you inhale it as smoke though, but you feel it. Angel Bunny takes a whiff of it as well, and surely enough he feels it too.

Yep, this batch is certainly gonna be good one, you're sure of it.

What do you do?

(Just letting you all know. Next week there will not be any updates to this story because I will be attending the San Diego Comic Con with DaedaltheusXIV. So yeah. I might post a few little joke chapters next week, but nothing serious. So yeah, sorry, but no updates next week. Just warning you all now so you don't get mad when I suddenly disappear. Oh, and just reminding all of you since I have your attention. I do reserve the right to take days off whenever I want without announcing them ahead of time. So yeah... Anyway, I'll let you know how Comic Con was when I get back :pinkiehappy: )

-Side Story-

-Ponyville-

Golden Oaks Library

-At the library-
A small purple dragon opened the door, a bored expression on his face.

"Welcome to the Books and Branches Library. Where books grow from the Branches." He said in an emotionless voice.

"Greetings, Spike I'm glad you're not meek, for these ponies have knowledge of which they seek." Zecora said. (Yes, I know the rhyme was weak. Screw you. I'm tired and can barely think of them)

Yawning, Spike looked up at Zecora and the group. "Oh. I haven't seen you around recently, Zecora," he said, "and I haven't seen you at all. Have you met... her yet?" For the last sentence, he lowered his voice, looking left and right out the door before saying so.

"Who?" Gordon asked, knowing perfectly well who he was talking about.

"Oh. Good. Right, umm, well, what do you need?" Spike said, straightening up. "Twilight left me in charge of the library till she returned from Canterlot. Though no one has come in since then. It's kinda boring."

Gordon filed the knowledge away for now, before replying to Spike. "We're looking for history, recent and old, as well as regional information, world maps, and other such information." He recited the list of things he thought nautical mariners would need if they were in their situation. A few minutes later saw the group and SPike sitting at a table, a teetering pile of books and scrolls in front of them. Gordon had a smaller stack of recent history in front of him , while Spock, Kirk, and McCoy were reading the older history to become more acquainted with the area. Zecora and Spike were looking through Atlases to try and find either 'Iowa' or any other relevant information. They had nothing better to do, so why not.

When they first sat down at the table, McCoy had leaned over towards Kirk and whispered "Scrolls? Just how far back is this planet?" Now he was engrossed in a recounting of Star Swirl's theories on anatomy and healing, every now and again letting out a cry of 'Amazing!' or 'That technique is still experimental back home.' and the such. Spock was reading a book on Magical theory, a soft 'Fascinating' occasionally when he came across entries on magical warp theory and other such scientific advancements. Kirk was perusing through basic history, starting with the formation of the world.

*The Star Trek away team (which now includes Zecora) walk up to the library. When they walk in, Spike comes out to greet them, looking more than a little bored.*

Spike: Welcome to Golden Oaks Lib- Oh, hey Zecora, I haven't seen you around in a while.

*Kirk, Spock and McCoy can't stop staring at him. It's safe to say that none of them expected to see a dragon running the library. Zecora and Gordon however, remain undeterred.*

Zecora: Greetings, Spike I am glad you're not meek, for these ponies have knowledge of which they seek.

*At this, Spike looks behind her at the four ponies, who he's never seen in his life. Three of them can't take their eyes off him and the other one is just looking around. Still, the three looking at him.... it's kind of weird.*

S: Okay.... So um, what do you need? (Straightens up and heads back on into the library, they follow him) Twilight left me in charge while she's in Canterlot, though nopony's come in for a while so it's been kind of boring.

Gordon Freebrony: Well... we're looking for history, recent and old, as well as regional information, world maps, and other such information.

S: Okay... those would be over... (finds it) Here it is.

*A few minutes later, they had all found the materials they wanted, and the moment saw the group and Spike sitting at a table at the center of the library with a teetering pile of books and scrolls in front of them. Gordon had a smaller stack of recent history in front of him while Spock, Kirk, and McCoy were reading the older history books to become more acquainted with the area and the planet. Off to the side, Zecora and Spike were looking through Atlases to try and find either 'Iowa' or any other relevant information.*

McCoy: (Whispers) Scrolls? Just how far back is this planet?

Kirk: ( Whispers) We've seen worse, you know that.

M: I know, but still-

Spock: Fascinating

*The two of them look over to see Spock reading a book on magical theory.

-Somewhere in Appaloosa-

*In the control room of the Dalek ship*
Connection: Green. Video Chat: On
*Grey Appears on screen*
Grey: Nana, are you there?
Nana: Yes, Director. What do you need?
Grey: I'm here for two things. The first being that I have the report on the unknown interferance of the Enterprise's equipment. And it's not exactly unknown, but more of a natural occurance.
Nana: What?
Grey: That's what I said. It's actually the daily use of unicorn magic. Whenever they activate their horn, they emit a static that would be the "EM Wave interferance". Luckily, the Lab Ponies here can work out a filter incase you need to use the affected equipment. They said it's all in the report.
Nana: Ah. Okay, then what's the second?
Grey: (Looks around the control room through the computer screen) Is RA here?
Nana: No, I sent him where SD and BPB are, so he could be watched over. Why?
Grey: Oh, good. Because we have a computer problem.
Nana: How so?
Grey: The data we have been gathering has been overwhelming our servers, so we need the input of the hackers.
Hacker: Well, I guess we could work something out. After all the programming of the ships systems, I say we are more than ready. How long has this been going on?
Grey: ...Er, a few hours after our connection was established.
Hacker: And you didn't tell us anything!?
Grey: Look, we can't risk blowing our cover when we transfer technology so early in this crusade. Indecipherable Data without a key through wireless connection is one thing, but transfering actual advanced computers from another world is another, especially with your equipment interferance. Besides, so much has happened already. I didn't think we needed the added stress.
Hacker: (sigh) We'll see what we can do...
Grey: Great! I'll tell my workers right away!
Hacker: Wait! There's one thing I have to tell you before I go!
Grey: What is it?
Hacker: S.D told the Daleks to survey your current location. He feels as though something's gonna go down. I was told to let you know.
Grey: Ah. Well tell him I said thanks for me please. But just so you know, us ponies aren't helpless as we may seem. We can take care of ourselves.
Hacker: I'll tell that.
Grey: Thank you, and Good bye. (Blinks off screen)

The Communications room of the AIA

Lab Pony: Okay, connection is green, video coming on in 3, 2, 1.

*video comes on, the image of the control room of The Caesar appears in front of them, though there are less hackers than usual present.*

Grey Rebl: Nana, are you there?

Nana: Yes, Director, as always. What do you need?

GR: Good to hear from you again too Nana. I'm here for two things. The first being that I have the report on the unknown interference of the Enterprise's equipment, and it's not exactly unknown, but more of a natural occurrence.

N: What?

GR: That's what I said. It's actually the daily use of unicorn magic. Whenever they activate their horn, they emit a kind of static that would be the "EM Wave interference". Luckily, the Lab Ponies here figured out how to filter it out incase they need to use the affected equipment. It's all in the report that I'm sending to you now.

N: Ah, I see, and the second thing?

GR: Well..... (Looks around the control room through the computer screen) Is Registered Anonymous here?

N: No, I sent him away while he was working on another "project" of his, why?

GR: Oh thank Celestia! Anyway, we have a computer problem.

N: What kind of problem?

GR: The data that we've been gathering has been overwhelming our servers, so we need the input of the hackers.

*Another Hacker comes in that's not hacker 1 or 2*

Hacker 3: You called.

GR: Yes I, wait... Where's the other guy?

H3: What other guy?

GR: The guy that's usually here when I'm talking to you guys?

H3: Oh him, RA punched him in the face and now he's in the infirmary.

GR: What! Why?

H3: Long story. Something about what constitutes a god. He's fine though don't worry about him. So, what do you need?

GR: Okay... well.... Our servers keep crashing and in some cases blowing themselves up from all of the raw data that we've had to gather since you guys got here.

N: You know, all that data's been backed up to my memory banks which-

GR: Yes, yes I know Nana, but that's not the point. We need that data too. So we were hoping that you guys could help us out somehow, you know, since you're more technologically advanced and all that.

H3: If you want someone whose really technologically advanced you should talk to the Daleks, but I guess we could work something out. After all the programming of the ships systems, I'd say we are more than ready to do what you need to. How long has this been going on?

GR: ...Er, a few hours after our connection was established.

H3: And you didn't tell us anything!?

GR: Look, we can't risk blowing our cover when we transfer technology so early in this crusade. Indecipherable Data without a key through wireless connection is one thing, but transferring actual advanced computers from another world is another, especially with your equipment interference. Besides, so much has happened already. I didn't think we needed the added stress.

H3: (sighs) We'll see what we can do.

GR: Great! I'll tell my workers to get on it right away!

H3: Wait! There's one thing I probably should tell you before you go.

Grey: What is it?

H3: Swimming Dalek told the Daleks to keep an eye on your current location. He feels as though something's gonna go down. He told us to let you know.

GR: All right, well tell him I said thanks for me please, but just so you know, us ponies aren't helpless as we may seem. We can take care of ourselves.

H3: I'm sure you aren't. I'll tell that.

Grey: Thank you, and goodbye.

*Screen goes blank*

(Sorry, but Braeburn and Strongheart can't arrive until the next day. Just show them interact on the train a little more. Trust me on this).

-The Dalek Flagship The Caesar-

In one of the Corridors

*Meanwhile on the Caesar*

R.A. begins pondering on what he should do to BRP after that last comment which consists of 1) Smashing the guy's face into the metal wall right behind him and repeat the progress until he is nothing more than a bloody pulp or until BRP says uncle. 2) Shake the guy's hand and congratulate him on having a big pair of Cahones. 3) Bake some more cookies for him. 4) Give BRP one of his bro armbands.

Unfortunately for R.A. his brain starts billowing smoke out of his ears, quite literally mind you, as he tries to make possibly the most important choice in his life.

R.A. then chooses which goes as follows. He raises his right hand up and proceeds to slap BRP not once, not twice, but thrice number of times across the face. He then grabs hold of BRP's hand and shakes it furiously while saying "You sir are by far the only guy that is on board this ship to have the largest pair of cahones besides mine." R.A. then pulls out a bro armband and places it in BRP's hand and says "From this day forth we are officially bros for life."

R.A. then releases BRP's hand and walks over to a bowl and begins making cookies that are NOT from his secret family recipe. "Now I shall make you even more cookies for your celebration and graduation into bro-hood!"

BRP *surreptitiously sneaking cookie dough from the bowl*: The slap was mean, but you know what? That was harder than the slaps they gave me during interrogation resistance in training. That IS impressive, one of them took two steps just to deliver it with more force. But that doesn't matter. We are BROS FOR LIFE. And our lives shall be long, FRUITFUL AND WE SHALL BE AS GODS!!!!!!!! *lightning bolt* So, if daleks are weak against cookie dough...*takes a piece of cookie dough and applies to the end of an arrow* ANTI DALEK ARROWS! Just in case the evil ones come back.

Arrow Inventory:100 wooden arrows
5 explosive arrows
10 armor piercing arrows
2 flare arrows
15 tranquilizer arrows
1 anti-dalek arrow (not retrievable)

*Puts tray of cookies in the oven.*

(this says about all it needs to. I don't need to edit anything.)

The Enterprise

-On the Enterprise-

"Uhura, get me a lin' ta >>2806209." Scotti said, sweat on his brow.

"Line Open, sir." Uhura said after a moment.

"Commander, we 'ave a problem. Tha' EM field is back. It's not as strong as it was, but it is messin' with me ship. Scans show it's from the surface. Can ye give me a confirmation? And if ye got any solutions, I'd like ta hear 'em." Scotti said.

Uhura: Incoming message from the control deck of the Caesar. They say they've figured out what the interference we've been getting is and figured out a way to filter it out so that our equipment shouldn't be affected.

Scotty: All right put it through. I wanna see this report for myself.

U: Yes, sir.

Author's Note

Status: edited

Blazewings thunder: 2

Rainbow Dash's theme song (as if it wasn't obvious enough):

Comic Con is over so...

Updates will resume this week. When? Whenever I feel like it.

Good to see you all again. :pinkiehappy:

Woke up this morning

Collect some of those wonderful plants, and make a batch of tea from some.

Ah, well.... it's nice to see that SOMEBODY has finally caught up with the story. It's good to have you with us..... you think.... you're suddenly not even sure where that thought came from... but he seems nice. On the other hoof, you've never really thought to make tea out of these plants before, but it certainly doesn't sound like a bad idea. Maybe you'll try that later... after your business is done for today.

Fluttershy! Drugs are bad, you should know that. Regulate pony usage and allow no one to get overdoses. Then go into town and sell some to the hospital for its medical properties, bump into RD, Rarity, AJ and the CMC's. Give a medicinal plant to Jason that is NOT a narcotic, hallucinogenic, alphabetic or anything like that. Instead give him a senzu bean. It will instantly restore him to full health and remove all status effects.

Drugs?......... ... ... .. . . . .. ...... Oh no no no no no no no nononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononono no no no these aren't drugs. You're absolutely sure of that. You've been handling these plants for a long time and you're positively sure that they aren't drugs.....

....

...

...

...

...

...

...

..

.
.
.
.

Okay they are drugs (you're not about to lie to yourself like that), but YOU ARE A RESPONSIBLE PONY!!!! You always take care not to sell too much to one pony at any given time (unless you know that they can be responsible with your plants too, such as Lyra and Bon Bon, which is why you sell them such large bags. They've earned your trust), and you do regulate the usage of your plants as best you can so that nopony goes into an overdose. It hasn't happened yet, but there are chances for everything. Oh, and OF COURSE you ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT sell your plants to underage ponies and no force of nature will compel to do so.

Oh, and since you are the only person in Ponyville who sells these plants (this is where Angel bunny comes in), nopony is about to get any of these behind your back. Yes, you have complete, and careful control over the circulation of these plants in Ponyville, and your system hasn't failed you yet.

Pick your crop and start heading home. Possibly replant if needed.

Harvest what you need and take a few moments to enjoy the aroma of the flowers.

After harvesting and/or doing what you need to do to ensure healthy plants, you go back the way you came, taking caution as to not to be seen.

Well Fluttershy, rejoice with Angel! Give him a hug and talk about how lovely a crop this is going to be! Then set the little bunny to work, helping you harvest it! After all, you've got a lot of paying customers you need to make happy, and that new bird house isn't going to buy itself.

But enough about that, you came out here for a reason after all.

"Come on Angel," you say to your precious little rabbit as you nuzzle close to him, the aroma of the plants still seems to be affecting him a little. "It's time to get to work." And with that, the little guy stands straight up and snaps back to attention. He then gives you a quick salute before he hops off of your back and into the field of plants. The little guy could always bring in the best ones, and with your crop looking so good now, you're sure he'll bring you some really nice ones this time.

You're not about to let Angel do all the work though, so after he scampers away you head on into the field yourself to look over the plants.

Harvest the crops while NOT thinking about dicks.

As you look through your crops and harvest the best ones, your mind starts to wonder a bit, as it usually does when you're in here. It's not due to the effect of the plants, no no, your mind usually wonders when you are working. It helps pass the time. Like how whenever you think of Rarity's sweet and supple figure, and how nicely toned her flanks are... and what lies... just under that tail of hers.... or about that horn. It's average, but still a good length for you. Come to think of it, Twilight has a good sized horn as well, and her flanks aren't so bad. You always though that her bookish personality and looks added a little bit of something to her overall appeal. Oh, and lets not forget Applejack and Rainbow Dash. Nopony can keep up with now nicely toned they are... you're actually a little jealous.

Applejack... you'd just love to hug her... hug her so tightly.... hug her tightly and take in the rich scent of apples that she always has on her from working so hard on her farm, and then kiss her on the neck, and then your kisses start moving a little lower and... AH you always forgot about Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash... she always looked so Celestia damn good whenever she came home sweating so much after a long day of doing tricks and being awesome... or when she had a particularly tough day clearing the weather... usually both, but that's beside the point. She always looked so good when she's all wet. So... good.... makes you wanna get wet too and-

AH, Pinkie Pie... oh Pinkie Pie. She always had this strange appeal to her. You're not quite sure what it is, it's just there. You've also kind of admired her ability to wolf down massive amounts of good and not get fat. Admittedly though, Rarity is a bit more jealous of this feat than you are. Though really, she can take in so much food with that massive tongue of hers. Makes you wonder what else she can do with that tongue... it's a wonder Mrs. Cake keeps her working at Sugarcube Corner even though she eats everything.

Ah Mrs. Cake. She was always a little plump, but perfectly so, all her fat was in just the right areas. Mr. Cake really did a good job picking her, and speaking of Mr. Cake, you've always couldn't help but wonder if he was as thin in other areas as he is around the rest of him. You guess only one mare knows that. Then there is Time Turner. You've never thought about him much but you've been a little curious, though Derpy of course would be mad, but you could always bring her into it. You always though she looked SO INCREDIBLY HUGGABLY CUTE for whatever reason, especially with those eyes of hers. You just want to hug her so badly.

Then there is Lyra and Bon Bon. You've always been a little jealous of their perfect relationship, but you don't let it get in the way of your friendship. They've always been nice to you. Maybe you could talk with them a little later to help get advice on how to talk to your friends, and then maybe you, Applejack and Big Macintosh can all go into the barn and-

Ooh, speaking of Lyra and Bon Bon.... your thoughts start to drift back to Jason again. Ah Jason. He's been somewhat of a mystery since he got here. An intriguing mystery. You will admit, what you did while under the effect of the heat spell (you know the effects of heat when you smell it, you know enough about the mating season to know that it's not for a long while, which led to you deduce that it was a heating spell, which led to the deduction of so many other things) were probably not the best thing to do to a scared creature, even if it was sapient. Still, it would be nice to see him again. Maybe you could apologize, and maybe after you apologize, he could come over and poke you in the leg, over and over again and....

Something that isn't a plant is poking your leg right now isn't it....

You look down to see Angel, who has a collection of plants in both of his little bunny paws. He seems rather excited about them. They must be good.

"Oh, thank you Angel," you say as you take the plants from him and put them into your saddlebag. With that done, he salutes again and heads back off into the maze of plants. You think you know some little bunny who is getting a nice cucumber and maraschino cherry salad tonight.

After harvesting and/or doing what you need to do to ensure healthy plants, you go back the way you came, taking caution as to not to be seen.

Go over your list of clients so you can get the right amount.

Lyra and Bon Bon, naturally are at the top of the list, they sure go through a lot. Better add in an extra few pounds for Jason since they're probably sharing.

Also on the list is Filthy Rich, most likely needing to relax since his daughter is a bitch, or maybe he's planning on giving it to her lessen said bitchiness.

Cheerilee needs some since mid-terms are coming up

Derpy needs some for her wandering eye problem

And lastly is you for your own personal stash. You are running a little low

Harvest the ripe crops and bring them back to your cottage. Then check the list on who gets the next deliveries. Since Nurse Redheart is top on the list grab her order and head to the hospital!

Which is where you see Jason being flown in by a panting Rainbow, followed closely by Big Mac, Applejack, Rarity, and the CMC.

A little while later (you really weren't keeping track of time), you and Angel Bunny start walking out of the field after harvesting all of the fresh crops you need. Don't worry, between the two of you, you got a lot. Your saddlebags are absolutely filled to the brim with new plants and Angel is sitting happily on your back, seeming satisfied with his work, as he should be.

On your way back you run through your list of regular clients in your head. You suppose Lyra and Bon Bon will be wanting some soon, as they always do. They seem to be going through this stuff a lot faster since Jason's been with them. Maybe you should keep an eye on them to make sure they aren't smoking too much. Then there is Rarity, who doesn't like to admit that she does this but oh well, it's not your place to question. Filthy Rich came by asking for some recently, and he was willing to pay a lot for a lot, though you've insisted that you stick to your rates, which he was more than willing to understand. He's actually kind of nice and understanding despite his richness.... or what his daughter would have one believe.

Oh, and of course Cheerilee, one of your regulars for a long time. With all the students she has to deal with every day, she's gonna be needing some. Derpy doesn't take this stuff, or do any kind of drugs. Why you thought that she would you will never know, and then there is Nurse Redheart.

Not for herself oh no, but she keeps some at the hospital for it's medicinal and anesthesial properties. She gives it in moderate amounts to her patients when they need to relax too. You're not worried about her being irresponsible with it, if anything, she is more responsible than you. Though her recent request was a bit odd.

You don't really run a delivery service of any kinds. You don't bring your plants to the ponies, normally the ponies come to you, and Nurse Redheart is normally no exception. However, the stock at the hospital is running a little low, and she anticipated (correctly) that she would be super busy with her shift today, so she asked you if you could bring some in yourself, since she was gonna be busy and all. Ordinarily you would say no, as you have your own things to be doing, but she's been a loyal customer for a long time, and she was willing to pay a bit extra for your services, and that shiny new birdhouse that you and your birds have been wanting for a long while isn't going to pay for itself.... unfortunately.

But yes, that is what you are going to do after this. Not all of what you got today is for the hospital, no no, that's too much (even though it is a lot), besides what you have right now needs to be processed first, since as of right now, they are still just plants that you pulled up from out of the ground. You do however, have a special batch at home that you've been keeping just for them. It's for injured ponies after all, you want them to have something good while they are there.

But yes, eventually, you get back to your cottage without being attacked by anything. Not that you worried about that, but still, it is the Everfree Forest after all. Without stopping and with a bit of a spring in your step, you head on inside to drop off your harvest for today.

-A couple of minutes later-

A couple of minutes later, you're heading back out of your house again, this time sans Angel (he still has work to do on the plants) with your saddlebags filled with four (yes, that's right, four) large bags of your plant for Nurse Redheart. Ordinarily you would never sell this much to anypony, but since it's for an entire hospital you can make an exception and Nurse Redheart did pay you in full for all of them. You would have done it for the ponies in the hospital anyway, but she insisted since she knew that this was breaking some of your rules and all. You don't mind though, you really don't.

So off you were to the hospital, with a bit of a spring to your step again and a song to your voice.

["All the ducks are swimming in the water,

Fal de ral de ral do,

Fal de ral de ral do."](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ioudby-xooc)

["All the ducks are swimming in the water,

Fal de ral de ral do,

Fal de ral de ral do,"](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ioudby-xooc)

You sing to yourself as you canter all the way towards the hospital. It was a perfect day for singing after all. Along the way you pass by some ponies who say hi. Surprisingly, nobody asks you about buying anything today, but that's okay. They are supposed to come see you at your house for that after all.

In practically no time at all, you reach the hospital. Right as you push the door open however, something happens. Something rushes right past you, really, REALLY fast, which causes you to spin around for a bit and fall to the floor from dizziness.

PERSPECTIVE SHIFT: Rainbow Dash

As quickly as you can you skid to a half right before you fly into the front desk of the hospital, careful not to drop of bump Jason into anything. You're pretty sure you might have ran into somepony on the way through the door, but that's not important right now.

"Oh my Celestia!" Nurse Redheart screams as she sees Jason laying over you and the blood from his wound pouring down your neck. "What happened!"

"He was attacked by something, I don't know!" You respond back to her. At that, she doesn't need to know anymore.

"We need a large stretcher, IV, and medical personnel here stat!" Nurse Redheart turned and screamed to Nurse Tenderheart, who didn't even need to hear the end of that before she had already ran into the back.

PERSPECTIVE SHIFT: Applejack

You, your brother Big Macintosh, your licorice headed little sister Applebloom, her two friends Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, and now Rarity and Spike all burst through the door of the hospital just in time to see Jason laid out on a rather large stretcher and carried into the back with three doctor ponies and Nurse Redheart following him.

What do you do?

-Side Story-

-Ponyville-

Golden Oaks Library

-In the library-
Rarity's scream is heard by the tea, who immediately jump up to go help. Spike is the first out the door, screaming, "I'm coming Rarity!", closely followed by Zecora. Meanwhile, Gordon waylaid his crewmates.

"Captain, stop. I know that scream. That pony is rather melodramatic. She would scream like that if she stepped in mud. We need to keep reading."

After a moment, the team nodded, filing back into their seats, sans a pony and a dragon.

*The Star Trek away team is still reading through some books in the Golden Oaks library when suddenly the silence is pierced by an ear piercing screech. More like a scream. Spike, Zecora, and Gordon all seem to recognize it, however, Spike is the only one who immediately jumps to his feet and starts running out the door.*

Spike: I'M COMING RARITY!!!!

*Kirk gets up to leave with him, but Gordon stops him.*

Gordon Freebrony: Captain, stop. I know that scream (Zecora catches this and looks in his direction, none of them notice her) That pony is rather melodramatic. She would scream like that if she stepped in mud. We need to keep reading."

Zecora: It is true. (Zecora chimes in at his defense) She would scream for nothing, so her screaming is something you do not need to look into.

*Kirk just stares at her for a moment, then back to Gordon, then back to McCoy, as Spock is too focused in his book to look back. After a moment or so of looking back and forth between them, Kirk sighs then sits back down and continues reading.

-On the train between Appaloosa and Ponyville-

*In the middle of a train ride (and since this is what I get for making the pacing go too fast).*

Brauburn and Little Strongheart finally settle to playing a few games of chess. Every now and then, Brauburn would flirt the oblivious Strongheart. Every now and then, Strongheart would interrupt small talk by finishing a game with a checkmate. Every now and then, they both would take a glance at the small envelope.

B: ...And then the gall was all–

LS: Checkmate.

B: Bah. Ya always win. Can we play somethin' else?

LS: You know, you would have had a chance if you stop getting distracted with small talk.

B: Mah head can't handle all this fancy stuff! Ah need somethin' simpler.

LS: We're lucky enough that one of the workers left a chess board and the pieces to keep our minds off of the depressing trenches. What? You want us to stare at the beautiful sunset for the few hours?

B: Heh, ah would like that. (LS glares at him) Uh, 1 out of 56? If that's how the rematch saying works...

*Braeburn and Little Strongheart sit patiently in their train car playing a simple game of chess while trying DESPERATELY not to look into the envelope. They are distracting themselves basically to pass time.*

Braeburn: And than the gall was all-

Little Strongheart: Checkmate

B: AH CELESTIA DAMNIT! Ya always win. Can't we play somethin' else?

LS: You know, you would have a chance at this if you stop getting distracted by small talk.

B: Ah know. Mah head can't handle all this fancy stuff. Ah need somethin' simpler.

LS: (can't help but giggle at that) We're lucky enough that one of the workers left a chess board and the pieces for us. (Braeburn just stares at her). What? You want us to stare at the beautiful sunset for hours?

B: Maybe, that sounds mighty nice actually (winks at her, she just glares back at him). Right... so.... uh.... 1 our of 56.... If that's how the rematch saying works.... (puts on a kind of stupid smile).

-Appaloosa-

*At AIA Headquarters/Magitech Facility.*
*Grey Rebl left the server room. A normal human would ask how servers could explode just by having an overload of data. How can you expect taming electricity with magic running against each other, which is how you spark fires, by using arcane gems safe?

*There were a few reasons why he needed the data from the Daleks. One reason, is that with the data, they could easily keep track of all of Equestria with surveillance from space. It makes watching over the once peaceful land a whole lot easier. Although they already have eyes on the surface, which is more detailed in the underground works, sometimes having messenger pegsi to send info isn't fast enough.

*Grey Rebl was going to return to office, but he had one stop before he does. During his time in the facility, development of MagiTech had been slow, which leads to another use for the data: Concepts. Although they agreed to not to introduce technologies, they can borrow mechanics and convert their use for magic theory purposes. Which is how Nana was made– a blend of data and magic, making her the first AI of her kind. Her raw ability to manipulate machines and electricity is scary though. She could combine an iPhone and a potato and make it into a tazer! Whatever an iPhone is. The aquired data quickly pushed their second Magitech project to production phase. The first being computers along with AI producing.

*On his way, Grey Rebl asked a nearby operative to increase security and spread the word. If Swimming felt as though security over the facility was needed, then he should think so for the inside, too. Grey had a certain trust for him.

*Grey Rebl reached his stop. In the room he was in was the labotory.

The AIA Headquarters/Magitech Facility

(Note: Sorry I can't give the you the Magitech Gear Suit right now, but I can give you this)

*Grey Rebl reaches his destination and steps out of the elevator. As he does, the project organizer for that floor comes out to meet him. A brown-maned, earthpony, yellow-coated mare with a clipboard.*

Grey Rebl: So, how's it coming?

Project Organizer: Surprisingly well sir. We'll be able to start testing within a few hours hopefully.

GR: That's good to hear.

*They both turn to look at it, the sound of workers scrambling about the room eats up the silence.*

PO: Although....

GR: What is it?

PO: What... oh, it's nothing.

GR: No, come on. You got something on your mind, then speak up. I'm not gonna bite you.

PO: (sighs for a moment): All right. It's just... (pauses for a moment) I still have no idea how were gonna go about testing this thing without drawing too much attention. If we let it outside, they'll find out about us for sure.

GR: I see.... (there is silence between them for a few moments). Don't worry about that now. Just focus on getting it finished. We'll come up with something.

PO: Yes sir.

*They both look forward to see a large (about the size of a house), four legged, mech with guns, missile launchers, and all kinds of weapons on it. On the size of one of it's forelegs are words reading "Metal Gear Equis"*

-Onboard the Dalek Flagship, The Caesar-

The Bakery Room... or something

*Meanwhile on board the Caesar*

R.A.: *gets finished making his mutha fucking dank as hell cookies* *he then lakes a long, loud sniff to the point where it almost sounded like snorting* Awwww yeah that is what I want to see! ....BRP think fast! *proceeds to launch the entire tray of cookies at BRP*

Me: *snatching the first seven cookies out of the air by catching them between his fingers, I flick one into my mouth, holding it there as I jokingly return fire, slinging my own cookies back towards RA.* Om nom nom (speaking around the cookie) these are really good.

Meanwhile, my HAI interfaces with the security system and begins to record the food fight, blaring The Ultimate Showdown out of the speakers mounted on the walls. Hacker 4 walks in, opens his mouth to get us to come to the bridge, closes his mouth as he looks at us and leaves. Slowly the food fight tapers out as we realize we have either eaten or broken all available ammunition.

Me: We should bake some more cookies. Those were awesome. They held up well too, even while traveling at supersonic speeds.

(As these two happen. If I'm not gonna make any changes to what happens in the comments, I'll put something here to let you know from now on. So yeah, as these two are.)

"Sorry Registered Anonymous, but I can't let you have the plans for the cookie gun right now. It's still in it's prototype stage right now and-"

PINKIE!!!!!!!

"Is there a problem Razor?" (starts blinking rapidly without stopping)

YOU'RE NOT EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE IN THIS CHAPTER!!!!

"Oh, right (giggles) sorry. (disappears in a pink puff of smoke)."

SIGH!!!!!

Control Room

*BRP's Hacking AI starts streaming the food fight between Registered Anonymous and BRP. All of the Hackers are laughing their asses off. Nana however, remains silent.*

Nana: I don't like you.

Hacking AI: What, why not? (confused)

Nana: Before you got here, I was unique, I was the only artificial intelligence on board this ship.

HAI: Hey wait, hold up. You're still unique. You were designed by the finest of Equestrian scientists using local technology. I'm from another universe in which-

N: I still don't like you.

HAI: Why?

N: Ever since you got here, you've been doing more and more haven't you. You've become fast friends with the hackers. You helped take down the evil Dalek Flagship, and YOU ARE-

HAI: Are you... jealous?

N: What... jealous... me? I'm an artificial intelligence, I do not get.

HAI: Then why even bring this up?

N: Umm...... um...... (silence)

HAI: (Sees her pain, then sighs a computer sigh) Look, I can tell you don't like me.

N: I told you that.

HAI: I know. So why don't we settle this like civilized AI's.

N: How?

HAI: Ever played Tetris?

N: What is Tetris?

HAI: WHAT!!!??? Oh right, different world, probably don't even have videogames yet.

N: What is a videogame?

HAI: Thought so. Well, I am nothing if not a fair AI. I'll show you how to play.

N: Okay....

*And so begins the epic Tetris duel between Nana and the Hacking AI set to this music.* (Grey Rebl, BRP, I am counting on you for this one)

The Bridge

*Commander Swimming Dalek returns to the bridge to escape the epic food fight between Registered Anonymous and BRP, only to see it being streamed across all the monitors.*

Dalek: Would you like a bagel?

Me: BAAAAAAGEEEEEEEL!

*Dalek drone comes up to him.*

Drone: Would you like a bagel?

Swimming Dalek: BAAAAAAAAAGEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!

-The Enterprise-

The Bridge

*The Enterprise crew get the data on the magic interference from the planet.*

-On the Ebterprise-
"Sulu, you have tha bridge. I need to modify 'er engines and power so we can still work with this interference." Scotty said, waving a clipboard in the air.

"Aye, Sir." Sulu said, switching positions while Scotty walked out of the room, heading for the engine room.

(Happens just as it is)

Author's Note

Status: edited

Blazewings thunder: 2

Fluttershy's theme song:

Also, part of my loot from Comic Con this year.
(I swear I am not making this up)

According to DaedaltheusXIV, I have now, officially, become that guy.

Meanwhile....

-Meanwhile, somewhere outside this story-

*RazortheAwesome and DaedaltheusXIV sit on a couch enjoying some Killians Irish Red and look at a screen that shows all the comments that have popped up since Razor announced his return.*

DaedaltheusXIV: So.....

RazortheAwesome: Yeah....

D: These are the people who are directing your story...

R: Eeyup (takes another drink)

*Looks through them and sees Grey Rebl, Registered Anonymous, Gordon Freebrony, BRP, and Swimming Dalek all testing their sanity*

D: This is going to be way too easy (takes a drink).

R: So say you man... so say you... (takes a drink)

*Silence regins for a few moments*

D: You know that putting in this scene is going to raise so many questions right?

R: We're best friends in real life man. Let them think what they will.

Author's Note

P.S. This scene more or less actually did happen.

This story is brought to you by...

KenSES64 and his Junes!!!!

Seriously, go read his stuff, the guy deserves way more attention than he gets.

OH CELESTIA NO!!!!

Ask "What the buck is going on!?" and proceed to chase after Jason.

Start asking from the doctors how bad Jasons condition is.

He has lost really much blood so you should ask if he needs blood transfusion and if he needs then ask if your blood would go with his.

(Oh oh. HI Razor. I'm Back. except you don't really care but, i'm still saying it. Been long time since I last put something in here. Well nothing more, nothing less. Bye)

Well seeing as how serious things are better ask the doctors the ultimate question: "How bad is it doc?"

They're taking him to the back! You only see him for a second before the doors close, but you still see him. Without stopping for little more than a second, you make a mad dash for the door. Right before you reach it though, two ponies in doctor outfits come out of nowhere (really, they were only a few feet to the side of you, but you didn't bother to notice them for obvious reasons) and block your path. You try to run right through them, but they manage to grab ahold of you and stop you, though you do notice it takes quite a bit of effort from them to do so.

"Hey, hey. Slow down," One of them says as they both push you off of them. "Sorry but you can't go through here."

"WELL, WHY THE BUCK NOT!?" You yell back at them.

"Medical personnel only are allowed beyond this point," the other one says to you. "Look, I'm sorry, but you're not a doctor, I can tell, so you'll just get in the way." At that, you grit your teeth and let out a very audible growl. You're not about to let them talk to you like that, or stop you, not while Jason's in there all because of y-

Right before you can open your mouth to speak though, you feel another hoof touch your shoulder. As quickly as a firefly, you turn to look right into the face of your older brother Big Macintosh. The look on his face is the same it always is, and his mane is still a bit red from Jason's blood, but all he does..... all he does...

All he does is close his eyes and shake his head.

Suddenly, every ounce of adrenaline you were running to get here seems to evaporate. You've never really understood what kind of effect Big Macintosh has on you, but he's always made you feel better when you get stressed out like this. It's happened before.... Celestia knows that if it wasn't for him, there are times when you would have torn the whole town to the ground.

You could fight back, you could rush right past these two doctors and run straight towards Jason, they aren't that much bigger than you, you could take them, but no... It wouldn't be the right thing to do. You know that. You weren't even thinking about it before but....

With no more reason to fight back, you just let yourself deflate and let your head slump towards the ground. Even though the tiles in the floor don't reflect much, you can almost feel them staring back at you.

"I'm really sorry," the first doctor says to you. "I know how you must feel?" At that, you start to lift your gaze back up towards him. "But you did what you had to. You brought him here. He's in good hooves now. Everything's going to be all right." He wore the kindest smile you've seen from a hospital worker as he says that to you.

"How bad is it?" you still can't help but ask. "Is he gonna be okay?" At this, both of the hospital workers in front of you looked at each other for a moment, then back at you. They seemed... a bit confused.

"He's going to be fine," the second one says to you, though you can tell it's a lie. Element of honesty. You better be able to tell a lie when you hear one. "We're not gonna let him die on our watch. You can hold us to that." Now that you can believe, but still. It doesn't make you feel that much better.

Still, you aren't gonna get any more accomplished here. So with that in mind, you let out a rather loud sigh, and then walk slowly over towards one of the chairs in the waiting room. Big Macintosh follows close behind you.

Get Jason a fairy in a bottle, stat!

If you had a fairy in a bottle to give to Jason you would. Not that you had one or even knew what it would do, but if there was EVEN THE SLIGHTEST HOPE that a fairy in a bottle would do anything right now, you'd give it to him without a second thought. Alas, you do not have a fairy in a bottle, or anything in a bottle right now for that matter, so this was a wasted thought.

Once that thought ends though, you find a seat in the waiting room and just fall down into it. Normally you try to sit up straight or at the very least hold yourself together, but now... it seems like not even a single thing is holding you together right now, so you sit in the chair and slump down like you're made of jello, or more accurately jam. This is all your fault... why did you leave him alone with them? He didn't even want to go with them in the first place, the only reason he went was just to be nice. Yeah, he insisted on it once the deed was done, but still... you could have said no. You could have insisted that Applebloom and the others try something other than Lumberjacking... You could have done.... anything.

You feel a shadow loom over you for a moment. Upon moving your eyes to look upward, you see Big Macintosh looking down at you with the same look he always has on his face. How can he remain so strong in a time like this?

Suddenly, you feel something on your right rear hoof. As you look down, you notice Applebloom leaning up on it looking up at you.

Ask the Crusaders exactly what happened out there. They went out lumberjacking with Jason and now he's all bloody.
Make sure that the girl's didn't do anything stupid (well stupider than normal) that lead to Jason being hurt.

Try to clean the blood out of Big Mac's mane since you are all in the waiting room with nothing else to do, and try to calm down Rarity.

If Spike Shows up, have him calm Rarity down and send a letter to Twilight and the Princesses.

No. Instead, you must ascertain the situation. Find out how bad Jason's injuries are, call Twilight because her magical abilities may help, and Applebloom precisely what happened then proceed to

Applejack: Okay, check in with the medical staff, get situated, you'll probably wind up in a waiting room. While there, comfort Applebloom and ask her carefully what happened, everything she remembers... And let Big Macintosh comfort you if you need it.

"Wha... what's going on?" You hear Spike ask... you didn't even realize he was there until you heard him speak. Probably heard Rarity scream, that's why he came here.

"It's Jason...." Rarity finally says to him. You think she's looking at the door where Jason just went, but you aren't sure. You aren't looking at any of them. "Jason he...."

"He what, what's wrong Rarity?" Spike asks worriedly. Everyone else is worried, so he must be getting the picture now.

"He......" is all Rarity says.

"He what? What happened Rarity?" Spike asks again, now even more worried this time, but the only response he gets is Rarity suddenly breaking into a sob and falling onto him. You're pretty sure she fell onto him, you heard him catch her.

"Oooaaaaawwwwwhhhhhhhh did anypony get the number on that-" you hear what sounds like Fluttershy's. When did she get here?

"FLUTTERSHY!" You hear Rainbow Dash yell. Yep, definitely her, yet for some reason, you don't feel compelled enough to look.

"Rainbow Dash," you hear her say. "What's going..........."

"Fluttershy?" Rainbow Dash says back to her, sounding a little confused. There is a stone silence between them. For at least a few seconds.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!" At this point you guess that Fluttershy must have seen the blood in Rainbow Dash's mane.

"Wait! Fluttershy, it's not what it looks like!" Yep, definitely that.

"Applebloom," you say to your little sister while all the other commotion is going on. She doesn't say anything to you, but you can feel her paying attention to you right now. You just can. "I want yah to tell me one more time. What happened?"

"Ah don't know!" she responds rather quickly, and in a panicked manner. "We led Jason to tha tree we were gonna cut down, but then he said it was too big for us to cut down so we tried to find a smaller tree an we ran ahead back to the clubhouse where we stopped to wait for 'im but when he came back he was all bleedin and then he fell over once we saw 'im. It's the truth sis, Ah swear!" Now she sounds even more worried.

"Don't worry, Ah believe yah," you say back to her. In truth, you do, you really do. You know Applebloom didn't do anything. There's no way she could have done something like that to him. No, this was something else.

Above you, Big Macintosh was still looking down at you. How... just how... can he stay as calm as he can in a situation like this?

"Um...." you hear someone else say that doesn't sound like any of your friends. You look back up to see Nurse Redheart standing in the room with you, she's looking at Big Mac. "There's a washroom down the hall. I don't know if the two of you would like to-"

"That's mighty kind of you. Thank you," Big Macintosh says as he leaves the waiting room. Rainbow Dash goes with him.............

AH TO TARTARUS! You're going too. You're gonna do no good sitting in here anyway. You got a little bit of blood on you too anyway. Big Macintosh wasn't carrying him the whole way after all. You started before he took over.

-PERSPECTIVE SHIFT: Nurse Tenderheart-

You and a team of nurses rushed Jason into one of the surgery rooms as quickly as you could. When you got there, there was already a team of ponies there waiting for him.

"What do we got here?" One of them asked.

"He was attacked," you respond to them quickly. "Some kind of wild animal. Probably a timberwolf."

"All right," the doctor said right as he put his mask on. "All right, we need to-" Right before he could even finish his sentence though. You see something impossible.... the human's eyes suddenly snap open.

"AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!" The human suddenly screams as he starts thrashing around. Quickly, you and the other doctors leap on him to try and hold him down.

"He's still conscious! How!?" One of the other doctors asks.

"We need some kind of anesthetic now!" The head doctor yells, prompting another mare to run out and go get it.

"Listen, it's all right," you try to tell the human. "You just need to-"

"Mori!" he suddenly shouts as he tries to throw his hand towards the ceiling. "Revertere tu de abysso! Ad nihilum!"

"What is he saying!?" one of the other doctors ask. You wish you had an answer.

"Necabo! Vastabo te! Avo!" He keeps screaming. Suddenly, the other mare comes back with a unicorn doctor, who promptly uses a sleep spell on him. It seems to work.

"All right, we need to operate on this guy right now!" the head doctor says as he begins to work. The other doctors follow him. You... you just stand back.

"What was that?" one of the other nurses asks you. "It sounded like some kind of ancient Roanan." You wish you had an answer for her.

-PERSPECTIVE SHIFT: Twilight Spar-

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

...

...

...

PERSPECTIVE SHIFT: Twili-

"RAZOR!!!!!!!!!"

*sigh* Do you want a chapter Pinkie?

"YES! You gave everypony else a chapter! Why can't I get one!?"

Well because-

"Because why!?" *starts tapping her hoof on the ground at a speed The Flash would envy*

How do I know that this is gonna have ANYTHING to do with the story?

"Because I AM part of the story. DUH!!! Even if I bake cookies it'll still contribute SOMETHING to the story!" *starts tapping even faster now... if that is somehow possible.*

With the others I can be sure of that... but you're....

"I'm what?"

You... basically.

"..."

...

"..."

...

"..."

...

*SIGH* ALL RIGHT FINE I'LL GIVE YOU A CHAPTER!!!

"YES! *Starts bouncing up and down like a maniac... in my house* Don't worry Razor Bazer I won't let you down! I'll have the best chapter this story's ever had! And then I'll-"

Right.... Okay, so where are you?

"Where? *stops bouncing* I'm right here."

No, I mean where are you in the story? Like what were you doing before all this started happening?

"Well, I was...."

Was what?

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

You have no idea do you?

"Maybe."

*SIGH!!!!!!!* How am I supposed to have a chapter with you if you don't even know where you are!?

"Does it matter?"

*opens mouth to respond, but stops* You know, now that I think about it....... Ah f*ck it. Let's just get this over with.

"YAY!!!!! *Hugs* Don't worry Razor! I'll bake you a nice, HUGE, DELICIOUS Cinnamon roll after this is all over!"

*SIGH!!!!!!!* Remind me why I can't get rid of you?

"*Giggles* Well because-"

[The rest of this conversation has been cut by the Spacetime management (which is headed by Pinkie Pie herself strangely enough)]

PERSPECTIVE SHIFT: Pinkie Pie

You are Pinkie Pie. The Element of Laughter. And you have absolutely no idea where you are or what you are doing right now?

What do you do?

-SIDE STORY-

-Ponyville-

Golden Oaks Library

*Kirk, Spock, McCoy, and Gordon Freebrony are all still sitting around a table reading various books and scrolls. Zecora is no longer reading, having since given up on any attempt to locate the country of Iowa. Kirk, while reading from a book, looks over it up at Gordon, his gaze more than a little suspicious. Gordon however, is still lost in his book.*

Kirk: We're leaving.

*Kirk stands up, all eyes except for Spock's are on him*

McCoy: What?

K: I think we've seen all that we need to. We're leaving now.

*Kirk leaves through the front door. Zecora just stares in the direction he went. Something about the way he worded that doesn't sit right with her. McCoy and Gordon get up immediately and follow him out.

M: (under his breath) God dammit Jim. (heads out the door)

*Gordon follows McCoy out the door, Zecora is right behind them, but Spock stops her just by speaking. Not to her, just by speaking.*

Spock: Fascinating

*Zecora turns to look at him from the door.

S: If only the library attendant was still here. I would love to continue reading this. (Proceeds to close his book on magical theory and walk on out)

*Zecora watches them leave for a second. She feels as if she should say something, but can't find the words.*

-The Dalek Flagship: The Caesar-

The Bridge

Me: *drooling at something on screen*

Dalek Spica: Master, the latest group of hatchlings have been... master? Are you listening? *turns to image on screen* Oh...

*Image removed due to awesomeness*

Me: Razor... Comic-Con... Darkstalkers... *foaming at mouth* brahggahgjgkdlkedlyhkdhtjkht

Spica: MASTER HAS HAD ANOTHER WAIFU ATTACK! PREPARE THE ELECTRIC CURRENT MANIPULATOR!

*Commander Swimming Dalek is staring at something on the screen. He is completely unable to take his eyes away from it and he's drooling somewhat... It's kind of worrying the other Daleks. Dalek Spica goes to try and start a conversation with him.*

Dalek Spica: Master, the latest group of hatchlings have been.... master? Are you listening?

Swimming Dalek: Razor.... Comic Con.... Darkstalkers.... *foaming at the mouth*

Pinkie Pie: Oops. Sorry. 4th wall breach. One moment.

-bzzzzt-

DS: Commander...

SD: Huh... what? What was I looking at?

DS: Looking at sir?

SD: What? (looks back between Dalek Spica and the screen. All the screen shows is empty space). Right.... so anyway, what were you saying?

The Kitchen

Unfortunately, neither Registered Anonymous or BRP have done anything that the author deems canon at this time. In the meantime however, have this picture :pinkiehappy:

The Control Room

HAI: So, this is how you are supposed to do it. *Plays an over the shoulder tutorial video showing humans playing with their fingers.

Nana: How do we do it?

HAI: well, what we do is send the same impulses that would be received from those keystroke to the game and it responds.

Nana: Ok.

HAI: We will start off at normal speed, but you will want to speed it up after a while. It will appear to be a little slow soon.

Nana: Ok.

HAI: are you ready?

Nana: One question.

HAI: Shoot.

Nana: Did you hack this game?

HAI: This is, for you only, an unhacked version of Tetris.

Nana: Thank you.

HAI: Then lets begin.

Nana: (She performed a Triple T-Spin, two four-liners, and an all clear in one go.) Hmm. Simple, yet, productive.

HAI: Your doing good for the first few tries. Most humans wouldn't think of looking at the pieces while placing them. Well, since we are AIs that doesn't exactly apply to us.

Nana: Not having a a focus point for my field of vision and lack of need of buttons helps. But there's one question... What's up with the pictures on the pieces on your side?

*A tidal wave of blue pieces rained down on his screen.*

HAI: Oh, you mean the power-ups? Well, seeing this is your first time, you haven't played enough games to unlock any. A few more plays, and you'll be performing all clears constantly all day, every day. Not to brag, but I played Tetris so much that I unlocked all the power-up! They are all a nice substitute for hacking.

Nana: How often do you play VS. with BRP?

HAI: Whenever he ran out if anime to watch. Let me tell ya, trolling him is hilarious, but he learns how to ignore it after a while. I'm pretty sure your friend R.A is giving him quite a time.

Nana:... Anime?

HAI: Nevermind. (They played in silence for a moment as their audience, the hackers, awed at their insane performance without hacking.)

(Both of these happen, pretty much as described)

*The hackers all stand there absolutely dumbfounded as they watch both the hacking AI and Nana play games of Tetris against each other at speeds that no human can hope to follow. To them, it looks as if the screens are suffering from epileptic seizures.*

Nana: You know. As fun as this game is. I do not think that it provides an accurate demonstration of our abilities.

Hacking AI: What do you mean?

N: Well, we have a reaction time that is measured in picoseconds, and we can process information much faster than any normal-

HAI: I see your point.

*The game is still going on while they are talking*

N: Yes. So even at it's highest speeds with all the powerups, this game would be... how do they say... a piece of cake... for us.

HAI: All right. Well, what do you suggest?

N: Hm.... something with strategy. Something that can more efficiently show which one of us can outwit the other.

HAI: I agree. Unfortunately, I don't have any other games stored on my hard drive. Before BRP went and got stranded, he didn't think to take many games with him. He didn't think we'd be gone this long. Naturally.

N: So we are stuck with Tetris?

HAI: For the moment ye-

Hacker 3: I.... I might have a suggestions

*Everyone turns their attention to him, even the Hacking AI and Nana, even though their games don't stop. Slowly, the hacker reaches behind his back and pulls out a copy of Starcraft 2.*

Author's Note

Status: edited

Blazewings thunder: 2

(if you're reading this, I'm gonna stop putting this up here unless you respond to this and let me know you're still here. Don't worry, I won't count if towards one of your comments)

Applejack's theme song:

Also on a completely unrelated note, my creativity is kind of shot right now so I suppose I'm not gonna be doing much for the rest of the day.

Ask Me Anything part Deux ANSWERS!!!!!

Yeah remember that Ask Me Anything blog I did a while back. Well... I finally got around to answering those questions..... after being a couple weeks late.... as Kiro my editor pointed that out for me....

Yeah....

There is no excuse for that and I am painfully sorry.... really I am. But for what it's worth.

Here it is

I'm sorry this took so long.

Preet Prupprin Prapes (and I have no idea what a Prape is)

"Grape, blape, gape, ape, snape, lape, bape, surlalape, turbate, crepe, crape, cape, tate, late, bate, sate, late, mape, hape, dape, bape, fape, yape, vape, drape, lape (oops, already said that one), chape, shape, tape, duct tape, it ducts and it tapes, duct tape, duct tape, escape opape, wape, quape, fjdksafdsafdsaklhjklfdshajfhjdskalfhdksalcthulhuftaghanfjdkslafjkafdjhklahfjksalape.

There are just so many words that rhyme with prape, and I don't even know what a prape is, but it's such a funny word. Hehe. I don't know why but I think it would be a fruit, like a grape, and it would be purple, like a grape, and it would taste all yummy and be all juicy and make great prape cupcakes and cakes, and..... wait....

What was I doing again?

Tenebris: *krhm*
Pinkie: ...
T: *krhm*
P: ...
T: *KRHM*
P: ...
T: PINKAMINA DIANE PIE!
P: WHAT!
T: *Sigh* Are you still angry that I was away so long? I'm sorry about that but, right now there is more important thing-
P: ...
T: Pinkie. Why are you in canterlot?
P: I don't know.
T: What do you mean you don't know?! How can you not know?!
P: Well I might have gone and asked razor to do this and he really wasn't prepared.
T: Pinkie, You're lucky that you aren't in Griffin kingdom or in some dragons cave.
P: I know but, at least i got my own chapter.:pinkiehappy:
T: ...
P: Tenebris? Why is your eye twitching?
T: D-don't mind that. Just go to Ponyville. Jason is in bad condition and he needs everyone there.
P: Okie dokie loki. Lalalalalalla.
T: Confound that Pinkie Pie, She is going to drive me insane.

"Oh right.... Thanks Tenebris. Oh, and by the way, I'm not mad at you for leaving. I was never mad at you. How can I be mad at you? I missed you.... WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME TENEBRIS!!! I WAS SO LONELY WITHOUT YOU!!!! YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE IN THE COMMENTS OTHER THAN RAZOR WHO TALKS TO ME!!!!!! But you're back now so it's all okay. Oh, and again, thanks. Sorry, I got a little distracted there for a moment but thank you for putting me back on track. Remind you to give you a cupcake soon."

With that done you clap your hooves, ready for action.

"All right. Now that that's settled. Razor.... WRITE THAT CHAPTER!!!!!!!!!!"

....

....

"Razor?"

"Are you there? ... .... "

"Hello..... Hello...... Anybody home?"

*This sound plays*

"Huh..... Where'd you go..... You're supposed to write that chapter for me today Razor Bazer.... Razor...."

*This sound plays again*

With the lack of any kind of response, you start to feel a bit lonely, you're not sure why. Gummy isn't here, he's safe back at home, but Razor isn't here, and he was supposed to write that chapter for you today. Your special chapter... The one that was supposed to come after Applejack's special chapter last time. But alas, he is not here.

With nothing else to do, you turn towards the fourth wall. Razor may not be here, but the commenters certainly are.

"Well commenters. I guess Razor isn't here so..."

Break the fourth wall.

Just! Just... Actually, I don't know what Pinkie should do. Uh, prepare a party just because?

LETS PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Well, party party party

I wanna have a party

I need to have a party

You better have a party

Come on, party party party

Ya gotta party hardy

I'm gonna have a party

Or else you will be sorry

Well party party party

The party's gonna starty

I know a guy named Marty,

Marty loves to party

Come on, party party party

Party make me farty

I gotta take antacid

So I can keep on party(ing)

Sweet sweet party

Party party party

You gotta party

And I wanna party

Who's gonna make this party started?

Me, me, ME!"

*Cue instrumental bit in which Pinkie Pie plays all the instruments, including an epic guitar solo.

"Wow, that was fun wasn't it!?" You ask the commenters as you down one more slice of cake that you happened to have on you. "Oh right, none of you can respond to me in story like this. Ah....... Well, ANYWAY, since Razor isn't here right now, I guess that means I gotta do this chapter on my own. Come on COMMENTERS!!!!! LETS KICK THIS CALZONE!!!!"

"CUE THE MUSIC!!!!"

The Music

"Meh, I was expecting something more bubbly, but I guess that will do."

Well you are somewhere in Ponyville

Make sugary sweets, preferably cupcakes.:pinkiesmile:

Pinkie, you are at sugercube corner baking cinnamon rolls.
You hear Rarity's scream and decide to investigate.

Pinkie is doing adult things in her basement.
Everyone knows adult things means watching a show that gives tips on how to make parties better.

Pinkie Pie: Bake cupcakes... ... Cupcakes are delicious.

Well of course you would be in Ponyville in the privacy of your own apartment in Sugarcube corner doing adult things.... and of course, like any adult would do, you are busy making cupcakes BECAUSE WHY NOT!!!??? OOh, and a cinnamon roll for Razor. He was kind enough to give you your own chapter, even if he did flake out on you at the last minute, you still got a chapter ALL to yourself. Actually, you should be thanking him more for this, since now you have totally free reign to do whatever you want in YOUR OWN CHAPTER!!!!

How you manage to bake both cupcakes and a cinnamon roll in one oven is a secret that only you know, and when the time comes you just may reveal that secret TO THE WORLD!!!! Maybe after you decide to STOP USING CAPSLOCK IN THE NARRATION BECAUSE THAT IS ALSO SOMETHING YOU CAN DO!!!!

Decipher Jason's code.

While you are waiting for the cupcakes and cinnamon roll like a hawk (which all you need to do for that is watch the oven without LOOKING AWAY until they are done. You cannot look away... not at all), you decide to try and decipher what Jason said in Latin in the previous chapter.

Also be able to understand Latin for the sake of plot convenience.

Which is easy for you because you can understand Latin. Why... just cause, okay.

It's not like there is really much to tell about that though. He was just screaming for the abominable creatures that make up The Plush to die and return to the abyss from whence they came, also he was shouting for his great grandfather Francis, so really, nothing that worth mentioning. It was pretty much gibberish basically.

You suppose a good english equivalent would look like this.

"DIE! DIE! DIE MONSTER!!!! GO BACK TO THE ABYSS THAT SPAWNED YOU!!! JUST DIE!!! GRANDPA!!!!"

Yeah, that is pretty much it.

YOUR PINKIE SENSE HAS BEEN ACTIVATED!!!

Suddenly, YOUR PINKIE SENSE KICK IN!!! And the sense in particular that kicked in right at this amoment (oh, and Kiro that is not an error, oh, speaking of which)

"Hi Kiro! Do a good job on editing for this chapter. Your work is always appreciated. OOH, and I'll make you a cinnamon roll too after Razor's is done as a thank you for all your hard work."

Anyway, your nose smells something good and pastry like, which means that YOUR CUPCAKES AND CINNAMON ROLL ARE READY!!!

And the sound that sounds like Rarity screaming combined with the buzz from your kitchen pink egg timer (not trademarked) confirms it for you.

Pinkie, you must dance the irish jig whilst holding a mug of frothy cider!
The Gods of randomness demand it!!!

"THEY'RE DONE!!!" You shout in triumph while you stretch out both your hooves and pull out a green bowler hat with your left hoof, and a mug of frothy cider with your right.

You don't waste time putting on the bowler hat as you dance an irish jig in celebration of your newly created pastries.... Hmm... come to think of it, this really goes with the music you put on. Huh, maybe you did get a good song for this chapter.... or MAYBE YOUR PINKIE SENSE CHOSE THE SONG FOR YOU IN ANTICIPATION FOR THIS COMMENT!!! YES THAT IS DEFINITELY IT!!!

"WOO WORLDWALKER128!!!" You shout as you raise your mug while you dance in place, all without spilling a single.... little... wittle.... drop of it. Now that takes skill. "This one is for you!" With that, you down the entire mug of cider.

It only just occurs to you now that you've spent the past few moments dancing in celebration of your pastries and none actually pulling them out of the oven, so with that in mind, you ditch the mug and bowler hat and kick open your oven by gently kicking it with your rear hooves, then you take out your oven mitts and take out the cupcakes and cinnamon roll from the oven.

You don't hesitate to take a good whiff of them. They smell heavenly.

On that note, figure out how to make a cupcake button. Like a muffin button, except with cupcakes.:pinkiehappy:

Following the above logic, you could be able to make a party button. One press and bam! Instant party.:pinkiegasp:

"Ooh I'm sorry Eternal Infernape," you say to one of the commenters on the other side of the fourth wall. "But Team Four Star not only owns all rights to the muffin button, but also likeness rights to anything resembling a 'button that can generate hand,' or I guess in my case hoof, 'held pastries.' So I'm sorry, I just can't do it. I know how to make a cupcake button, believe me I do, but I just can't do it lest I get sued by Team Four Star." You feel yourself get a little sad at that. There are some things you just wish you could fix with hugs, but hey, some things can't. It also didn't really help matters when Derpy got ahold of the Muffin Button a few months back. "However," you say with your usual happy, chipperness back. "I do have a party button. It's my Party CANON! What? What did you think I used it for?"

After storing those and thinking about how you can possibly make a cuckoo clock even more hilarious than it already is, you realize that your knee has been Pinchy for awhile. That means something scary has been happening for a good 30 minutes, but what is it?

You decide to ask everypony in your sight if they've seen anything scary recently, except for those ponies exiting Twilight's House with Zecora. Your right eye begins twitching, meaning that their destiny lies elsewhere, best not to bother them.

As you keep talking past the fourth wall while staring at your newly baked pastries, you notice that your knee has been pinchy for the past while, pretty much the whole time you were staring at your oven like a hawk. You noticed it when you used the first part of BrownDog77's comment, but you ignored it for then.

You, being you of course, knew perfectly well what it was, and you had completely confidence in Rainbow Dash's ability to get Jason to the hospital. What? It only makes sense that with a cry for help of that magnitude, Rainbow Dash would have have heard it, and if she would have heard it, then she would be on it faster than a pony who could teleport (aka YOU) and if she was on it, then that means that the problem would be solved. You had complete confidence in your friends to get Jason where he needed to be, and there was nothing more you could have done that they were already doing, at least then.

However, now that a few moments have passed, you feel as if you've been out of this a bit to long. So, with that in mind, you quickly grab the frosting that you'd made while the cupcakes and cinnamon roll were baking, and with your fourth wall defying speed, you frost all the cupcakes at once and sprinkle them. What? No CUPCAKES ARE COMPLETE WITHOUT SPRINKLES!!!! After that, you quickly grab some glaze for the cinnamon roll and gently pour some of it on.

After that, you quickly scribble out a note that reads

"For Razor Bazer. Don't eat it all at once. :pinkiehappy: "

Then you fold it up and set it in front of the cinnamon roll. Knowing Razor Bazer, it will be all gone by the time you get back, but that is just him. You have your ways and he has his.

But anyway that is BESIDE THE POINT RIGHT NOW!!! Since a normal exit out of Sugarcube corner would not be good enough for you right now, as you are not feeling it, you open up your window and get a breath of fresh air.

"Bye, Gummy!" you shout to your PET ALLIGATOR in the other room. "Don't eat all the cupcakes while I'm gone!" You know he won't, but it never hurts to be prepared. You've decided to leave the Cupcakes here for now. You don't need them right this second after all.

Something else related to the story. Something small, yet important.

"Oh believe me Eternal I have. Hehe," you say to Eternal Infernape right as you leap out the window, somehow go straight up, spin around in a complete backflip, close the window as you fall back down, and then keep spinning and spinning until you land on the ground while striking and EPIC POSE!!! That was a pretty badass landing if you do say so yourself.

As you land, you look off down the road and see the four stallions you saw before and Zecora coming out from the direction of Twilight's library. They're all staring at you for some odd reason, and that yellow one has a pretty serious (if not confused) look on his face for some reason. Your right eye begins to get twitchy as you see them, and almost as soon as it happens they are on their way. You decide not to bother them for now, their destiny lies elsewhere.

As you tear your attention away from the five of them, you look around and notice practically every stallion within eyeshot of sugarcube corner staring at you for some reason. They all look equally confused, and as are you, it seems as if most if not all (you know Big Macintosh is missing) of the stallions in town are here right now.

PAAAAARRRRTTTYYYYYYYYYY AT THE HOSPITAL! Jason is there and he is hurt. First you need to find out where you are though. start to speak "Hello stallions, look at your mare, now back to me, now back to your mares, now back to me. Sadly she isn't me, but if they stop using dragon scented body wash and switched to apple spice she could smell like she's me. Look down back up. Where are you? You are on a boat with the mare your mare could smell like. (You are now standing on a boat. It appears to be on an ocean of some sort. Not close enough, keep going) What's in your hoof, back up. I have it. It's an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again. The tickets are now diamonds. Anything can happen when your mare smells like apple spice and not a dragon. I'm on a horse." You are now sitting on Rarity's back.
Rarity: What in the name of lederhosen are you doing on my back and how did you even get there?
Pinkie: Not important, where is Jason?

THEY ARE ALL STARING AT YOU. You know what you must do. You stay still for a moment and keep your pose, while at the same time, slowly changing the look on your face from a simple, happy smile, to a downright sultry smile... slowly... you're changing it. You have to channel a bit of Rarity to get the right amount of sultriness, but after a few moments, you get it.

"Hello stallions," you say to all of them in particular. "Look at your mare, now back to me, now back at your mare, now back to me," you say as you with your teleportation ability bounce back and forth between them, getting as close to them, and their mares, as you can without it being too creepy. "Sadly, she isn't me, but if she stopped using dragon scented body wash and switched to Apple Spice she could smell like she's me," it's true. You do use Apple Spice. "Look down, back up. Where are you? You're on a boat," you say as you're suddenly on a boat with a random stallion who you happen to know is single. "With the mare your mare could smell like. What's in your hoof, back up. I have it. It's a cupcake with two tickets to that thing you have to see," suddenly the stallion is even more confused than ever, partially because he is back in Ponyville while you are now on a beach. "Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your mare smells like Apple Spice and not a dragon. I'm on a horse."

"WHAT IN THE NAME OF LEDERHOSEN ARE YOU DOING ON MY BACK AND HOW DID YOU GET HERE!?" Rarity asks you as she steps out of the washroom at the hospital, with you on your back.

"Not important!" You say as you hop off of her back and land in front of her. "Where is Jason, is he okay!?" Okay, now it's time to be worried.

Burst into the hospital after hearing rarity scream and try to information from your friends. After that, try to convince fluttershy to let you make some 'special' cookies to help calm everyone down, mostly rarity, she's kinda flipping out a little. If she says no, make cookies anyway, cause who didn't like cookies, right? (finally, I have a chance for some input! I've been late every other time. You do great work by the way! Keep it up!)

Do something near da hospital and hear a loud noise from there. Go investigate. Find out about Jason. Think about getting a Dr. McNinja to help out. ...Wait what. Anyway, try to help and stuff.

Prepare for a party. A party that falls within the scenario of a "Get Well Soon" Party with a small pinch of "Hope This Traumatic Experience Doesn't Effect You For the Rest of Your Life" party.

"It's investigation time! Stop or I'll pop a cap in ya!"

Oh, you definitely plan to do ALL of that (especially yours KenSES64... hehe) as soon as you find out if Jason is okay, and you'll DEFINITELY throw him that "HOPE THIS TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE DOESN'T EFFECT YOU FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!" party once he gets up... if he get's up.... okay, you know he is going to get up for the sake of the story

BUT STILL IT DOESN'T HURT TO ADD SUSPENSE DOES IT!?

Tartaus, that is why you made the cupcakes. You made them for Jason for when he wakes up. What did you think you were making him for?

But yes, you are in the hospital now, and there is nothing you can do cause all the doctors are working on him now. All you can do now is wait... wait with the rest of your friends.... wait and hope he pulls through....

You know how will YOU JUST KNOW IT CELESTIA DAMN IT!!!!

"COME ON JASON YOU BETTER PULL THROUGH!?" You shout towards the ceiling, only to have everypony in the hospital start staring at you. "What, he's our friend, he better." You say to all of them.

-Side Story-

PERSPECTIVE SHIFT: Multiple Characters

Nana and the Hacking AI

(3 Things: One: Yes, a perspective shift to multiple characters can happen. Two: Yes, a perspective shift to characters in the side story can happen as well. Writers of the side story, be prepared at a moments notice for when this happens. For you readers, don't worry, if there is a perspective shift to the side story, it will always happen first before the other side story stuff happens. So yeah, it's not like you will miss it accidently. Three: Originally I wasn't going to do this, but then I thought about it for a moment and though "Ah f*ck it, why not, let's just see where it goes, and what better time to do this than now since we are in a Pinkie Pie chapter and are doing things out of the ordinary already. So yeah, here we are.

-The Dalek Flagship The Caesar-

The Control Room

AI's install StarCraft 2 and load it up. To increase the ability, they instantly remaster the maps for unlimited resources and remove the unit cap, making the maps bigger as well.
Nana: are you ready?
HAI: Oh yes. Wait a second.
Nana: What are you-
HAI2: Hi, I have been copied for the duration of the game. My task is to be a commentator for the crew of the ship.
Nana: will you show me how to do that at some point?
HAI: Ok
Screens flicker on, the tactical display at the center of the room shows a scale 3d model of the map. The entire crew of the ship that isn't on the bright gather in the mess hall where HAI2 is currently showing a 3d model of the map using the ceiling as the ground.
Nana(her voice being broadcast throughout the ship): Ready?
HAI: yes. Lets do this.

*Both Nana and the Hacking AI install Starcraft 2 in a matter of moments and load it up even quicker. To increase their abilities, they both instantly remaster the maps for unlimited resources and remove the unit cap, and they also make the maps bigger as well to hold more units. The hackers watching them are simply amazed that they can hack the game to this degree, especially Nana since she's never seen this game.

After quickly setting up a game, they both choose their races.

Hacking AI: Terrans, color green

Nana: Protoss, color orange

The start button has yet to be pushed.*

Nana: Are you ready?

Hacking AI: Oh, yes, one second.

N: What are you-

Hacking AI 2: I've been copied for the duration of the game. My task is to be a commentator for everyone watching us.

N: You can... copy yourself?

HAI: Yep. Comes in handy when I have to access multiple interfaces. You can only imagine the things I can do with this.

N: Imagine.... (starts imagining it) I... I I I I I I.... (starts stuttering nervously)

HAI: Nana, are you blushing-

N: I AM FEELING ALL RIGHT! I AM AN AI, I DO NOT FEEL ANYTHING FOR I DO NOT HAVE EMOTIONS TO FEEL THEM!

HAI: All right fine, I didn't mean to bite your CPU off.

Hacker 3: (whispers to Hacker 4) Was Nana programmed with emotions?

Hacker 4: (whispers back) What makes you think I'd know?

H3: Come on you don't notice the way she's acting around him. Even when he mentioned how he can duplicate himself. COME ON YOU HAD TO HAVE NOTICED THAT!? (while still whispering)

H4: Yeah, of course I noticed that, but how am I supposed to know what her programming is. The only ones who would possibly know that are the guys.... ponies from the AIA. They're the ones that made her.

H3: Right... Maybe we should take to them about this later.

H4: Yeah, I agree. This is getting kind of creepy.

HAI: So, you ready to go?

N: Yes, lets do it!

HAI: All right.

*BRP enters the room, Registered Anonymous is nowhere to be seen, which is surprising cause everyone thought he was with him.*

BRP: Ah, I was wondering what you were doing (talking to the Hacking AI). You've been quiet for a while. Listen, you think you can-

*Walks past the crowd to see the screens. The clock on the game hits zero and the game begins.

BRP: Oh shit.

N: Let's go.

HAI: Let's go.

Nana and the Hacking AI, you are currently facing each other off in a friendly game of Starcraft 2.

What do you do?

Next Chapter: AI COMBAT!!!!!

Nana vs Hacking AI

(Yes, for the next chapter, you will be taking command of either the AI Nana (Protoss), or BRP's Hacking AI (Terran) (or both) and help one of them beat the other in a game of Starcraft. This is a special bonus chapter for you all, but mostly cause some of you aren't really appreciating the side story as much as you should. Come on give it a go :pinkiehappy: Pinkie Pie will be happy if you do. But yeah, Nana or the Hacking AI, who wins. Your move, you decide.)

The Bridge

*Swimming Dalek and Dalek Antares are on the bridge watching the monitors.

Swimming Dalek: You know, the Orz have been strangely quiet for a while. I wonder what they're up to.

Antares: Our readings show that they are still doing something with the destroyed Dalek ship.

SD: Does this affect us in any way?

A: No.

SD: All right then. If they're not bothering us then that's fine by me. Still, they haven't even tried to make contact with us since the battle earlier. I wonder what they-

*All the screens change to the Starcraft 2 match between Nana and the Hacking AI.*

SD: Woah.

-Somewhere between Appaloosa and Ponyville-

In the train that leads to Ponyville.

It was getting close to dusk, and the two agents are bored. On the floor, is Brauburn and Little Strongheart laying on their backs with their legs up in the air. Their expressions are comparable to a goat that just chews grass... soullessly. A board, chess pieces, and a flipped table littered with them.

Braeburn: Ah knew you would break soon enough.
Strongheart: Well what do you expect? It has already been over 500 games!
Braeburn: Ya bothered to count? Ah'd rather count sheep! And good timing that night is about to come; sleepin' kills time and we will arrive by morning. Ya tired?
LS: We had barely done anything, and yet I am. Why does the wait has to be so painful?
Braeburn: And now ya understand why Ah hate trains. Here, time slows. Not a place for a pony like me. Ya know, Ah wonder how home base is faring. Probably some random explosions that we all know and love. Think they're gonna go above "Class D of Damage"?
LS: Your teasing to make me feel like I should regret taking this mission, aren't you?
Brauburn: Hey, you're already feelin' it.
LS: Figures.

(This happens pretty much as described)

-Meanwhile, somewhere outside the story-

*RazortheAwesome's eyes suddenly snap back open as he remembers something he forgot to do today.*

Raz: F***!!!! IT'S MONDAY! I FORGOT TO-

*Turns on computer, sees that Wake up. See this. What do? has already been updated.*

Raz: ... ... ... ... .. .... ... .. .. ... ... ... ... (With enough force to shake the ENTIRE Cosmos)

PINKIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Author's Note

Status: unedited

Blazewings thunder: 2
(This is the last time this will be appearing until you make yourself known again)

Pinkie Pie's Theme song:

Out of curiosity did any of you guys actually listen to these?

Unicorn Wizard

-- That Risen Flag character is creepy, and only appeared after the big demon thing is going to arrive... Try and find out more about him, and no, not the propaganda. See if there are any magical anomalies around him, any other monsters etc.

bump into raisin flag(sorry for misspelling it) as he is leaving the castle.

incoming mental freak out in 3. 2. 1.

scream to tarterus.

Faint.

Again, who is Risen Flag? You've never even heard of anypony with a name like that, much less met somepony with that name, so why is this such a big deal?

O-K! You were just going to go out that door and confront Princess Celestia about the issue at hand. Ignore him for now, see if she acknowledges Ghost Sombra's presence. Maybe run into that Flash Sentry guy again. You remember him, right, with the inci- wait did that happen yet?
N: I believe it has.
Right, thanks. Anyways, stuff. Hey, did you consider dating that guy? Just a thought.
N: Sombra, or Ghost Sombra, whatever you call yourself, find the d-
No. No interfering with the plot like this. Shame on you.
N: *Grumbles* Fine.

And who in Tartarus is Flash Sentry? It sounds like the name a muscle-headed jock in high school who did well in sports but not in anything else. Admittedly though, that is a much better name than Risen Flag. Maybe if you did ever meet someone named that you'd probably have a decent conversation with him at least, then maybe afterwards see where things go from there after you get a good look at his nicely combed hair, his rippling pectorals that seem to tear through his shirt-

Wait, what's a shirt? Okay, you know what it is, but you can't really imagine why any pony would ever wear one. Anyway that is enough fantasizing for now. Given all that's happen recently, it just makes you feel dirty now...

Recent events....

OH DEAR CELESTIA!!!

Twilight: Your duty hasn't changed. Just because you're going crazy and seeing ponies that aren't there doesn't change one simple fact.

YOU HAVE EXPLAINING TO DO TO CELESTIA.

Find her, tell her EVERYTHING, including why you brought the human, AND that you're seeing the ghost of King Sombra, get it all out, in the open, and do not hide ANYTHING from her. She is your teacher and your mentor Twilight and after everything you've done, and everything she's done for you, she DESERVES your full revelation.

start to think about what you are going to say.

remind yourself that this is celestia, your teacher, and practically your mother. she will understand what you are going through.

next open the door and find your way to the princess.

talk to princess.

You want to tell her everything, you REALLY REALLY REALLY do, but you just can't bring yourself to take even a little step towards the door. You did something bad, you know you did, and you know you have to talk to her eventually, but you just....... GAH YOU CAN'T BRING YOURSELF TO DO IT!!!

YES, YOU KNOW SHE IS YOUR TEACHER! YES, YOU KNOW SHE WILL BE UNDERSTANDING, AND YES, YOU KNOW SHE MAY HELP YOU IN THE END, BUT STILL!!!! YOU JUST CAN'T....-

"Twiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiilight."

And the nonexistent Ghost of Sombra who just said your name while really emphasizing the "I" is not helping.

Just say "No Sombra." and let him continue with whatever he was doing earlier. He is not important.

"No Sombra," you say to him before you turn away from him and look at the wall. Sure, it's not the door, but it's away from him.

"What!? What do you mean no?" he asks as he floats around so he's in front of you again.

"What I said," you say to him. "Listen, you aren't real. You are just a figment of my imagination-"

"Actually," Sombra interrupts you. "I'm the disembodied spirit of Sombra who was severed from his body after it was put back together by some.... thing, I don't even want to imagine what, after I exploded thanks to you guys, and now I need your help to get it back." At that, you just stare at him as your mind draws a blank. What did he just say? "Okay, I'll admit that getting exploded by you guys and your little brother of a dragon was bad, but I'm kind of more ashamed of the position I'm in right now. It's not very comfortable let me tell you."

"Whatever," you say. You aren't about to let him sidetrack you now. "The point is, you aren't real, so if I ignore you. You'll go away." As you say that, you turn away from him and look at the door again with your head held high and a confident smile on your face. Why didn't you think of this before? Of course Sombra isn't real. So he'll have to go away if you don't pay attention to him. And at that, the not at all real and completely nonexistent Ghost of Sombra looks at you like he's looking at an oncoming train, but you don't see it cause he's not real. Even though you clearly saw his face change to that expression, you didn't see it cause he is, in fact, not there.

"OH COME ON! YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS!" The Ghost of Sombra doesn't exclaim to you because he is not there. Yep... not at all there....... "Okay, you are serious.... Okay fine, it's not like I need your help anyway. I might have some information on just what Nyarlathotep is since he did rebuild my body after all, but since you are ignoring me, I guess I'll just never tell you." Did he just tell you something that could be important to you? Nope, no he didn't, he told you nothing cause he is not there.

Now what were you thinking about? Oh yes, going over to talk to Celestia, you were still moping on about that...

Anyway

GAH YOU WANT TO TALK TO HER SO BAD BUT-

"Hey Twilight."

Don't look at Sombra. What ever he tries to do, don't look at him. ignore him. He is trying to distract you. Oh and don't listen what that random voice is going to say next. You know what just ignore me, that voice and Pinkie If she answers to what that voice is going to say. So ignore all of this. Ignoring starts... NOW!

YOU'RE NOT SURE IF YOU CAN EVEN DEAL WITH-

"Twilight."

YOU WANT TO WALK THROUGH THAT DOOR STRAIGHT TO HER, BUT YOU JUST CAN'T BRING YOURSELF TO-

"Twiiiiiiiiiilight."

Is the not there Ghost of Sombra still talking to you? No, of course he isn't, he is not there.

You try to ignore Sombra as he does the most annoying thing in the world to get your attention.

Ghost Sombra: Hey! Hey! Look! Listen! Hey! Hey!Hey! Hey! Listen! Hey! Hey!Hey! Hey! Listen! Hey! Hey!Hey! Hey! Look! Listen! Hey! Hey!Hey! Hey! Look! Listen! Hey! Hey!Hey! Hey! Look! Listen! Hey! Hey!Hey! Hey! Look! Listen! Hey! Hey!Hey! Hey! Look! Listen! Hey! Hey!Hey! Hey! Look! Listen! Hey! Hey!

Your Face Looks something like this :twilightangry2: before you finally shout as angrily as you can

Twilight: WHAT!!!!!

Ghost Sombra: It's a door.

Twilight: What about it?

Ghost Sombra: Wanna know how to open it?

Twilight: I know how to open a Celestia Damned Door! Graaaahhhhhhh :twilightangry2:

Ghost Sombra chuckles evily at his little trolling game

"You know what you oughta do. Go talk to Celestia that's what. Go talk to her and tell her about all your problems. Tell her what you did, tell her why you brought the human here, tell her about Nyarlathotep, tell her about me..... actually I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell her about me, but at this point I don't even care. Twiiiilighttttttt"

Is that Ghost that isn't actually there still talking to you. You're pretty sure it isn't.

"Hey TWIIIIILIGHT.... Hey! Hey! Look! Listen! Hey! Hey!Hey! Hey! Listen! Hey! Hey!Hey! Hey! Listen! Hey! Hey!Hey! Hey! Look! Listen! Hey! Hey!Hey! Hey! Look! Listen! Hey! Hey!Hey! Hey! Look! Listen! Hey! Hey!Hey! Hey! Look! Listen! Hey! Hey!Hey! Hey! Look! Listen! Hey! Hey!Hey! Hey! Look! Listen! Hey! Hey!."

No..... he is not talking to you... not at all.... you are not hearing his voice in your ears right now. He is not circling around your head repeating the same phrase over and over again like a little blue fairy.

Hey! Hey! Look! Listen! Hey! Hey!Hey! Hey! Listen! Hey! Hey!Hey! Hey! Listen! Hey! Hey!Hey! Hey! Look! Listen! Hey! Hey!Hey! Hey! Look! Listen! Hey! Hey!Hey! Hey! Look! Listen! Hey! Hey!Hey! Hey! Look! Listen! Hey! Hey!Hey! Hey! Look! Listen! Hey! Hey!Hey! Hey! Look! Listen! Hey! Hey!

Not. At. All.

Hey! Hey! Look! Listen! Hey! Hey!Hey! Hey! Listen! Hey! Hey!Hey! Hey! Listen! Hey! Hey!Hey! Hey! Look! Listen! Hey! Hey!Hey! Hey! Look! Listen! Hey! Hey!Hey! Hey! Look! Listen! Hey! Hey!Hey! Hey! Look! Listen! Hey! Hey!Hey! Hey! Look! Listen! Hey! Hey!Hey! Hey! Look! Listen! Hey! Hey!

Hey! Hey! Look! Listen! Hey! Hey!Hey! Hey! Listen! Hey! Hey!Hey! Hey! Listen! Hey! Hey!Hey! Hey! Look! Listen! Hey! Hey!Hey! Hey! Look! Listen! Hey! Hey!Hey! Hey! Look! Listen! Hey! Hey!Hey! Hey! Look! Listen! Hey! Hey!Hey! Hey! Look! Listen! Hey! Hey!Hey! Hey! Look! Listen! Hey! Hey!

"WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????????"

You shout at the UNBELIEVABLY, UNBEARABLY ANNOYING GHOST THAT JUST WON'T SHUT UP.

"It's a door," is all the annoying Ghost of Sombra says back to you. At that, you look back at the door, and then look back at him.

"What about it?" You ask in the same tone of voice, though you are moments away from shouting again.

"Wanna know how to open it?"

"I KNOW HOW TO OPEN A CELESTIA DAMN DOOR!!!!" You scream at him with all of your lungs... ALL OF YOUR HATE.

Ghost Sombra's response it....... he's just staring at you. He's staring at you in the same evilly looking smile he always had on, though now it looks like... he's trying to hold back.... laughter.....

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!" He finally bursts out laughing as he can't hold it anymore....

Did you just get trolled.... by Sombra?

KILL THEM ALL!!!! :pinkiecrazy:

again

Punch him in the face, 'cuz ya know, why not?

Turn around and wail on that dumb ghost! And by wail, I mean swat your hooves at Ghost Sombra futilely for a few moments before realising it's, in fact, futile

punch ghost Sombra in the face once again. everyone likes to see that.

You still haven't gone to see Celestia yet? You had better have taken your time kicking the crap out of Ghost Sombra.

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

Cue the music

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

You scream at the absolute top of your lungs and PUNCH THAT FRIGGIN GHOST RIGHT IN THE-

Unfortunately, your hoof just goes right through him as if he isn't even there. THAT'S NOT ABOUT YOU STOP YOU THOUGH AS YOU THROW ANOTHER PUNCH AT HIM!!! AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN-

Hum the Ghostbusters theme, you'll be able to punch ghosts if you do it!

Humming GhostBusters theme tune will allow you to punch ghosts. However, making a giant rainbow coloured hand out of magic and punching him in the face with that will work better. There are many other options, but right now, he I looking at you in a weird way, so punch him. He is completely non-corporeal, therefore, he can follow you anywhere. Again, punch him. There are dozens of reasons to punch him. Calm down, realize that instead of being a symptom of your insanity, he must be an incarnation of it. Punch him, making you feel better. Now, talking to someone about all of the things you absolutely did not cause to happen. Punch Sombra in the face just as Celestia walks into the room. Maintain one conversation with Celestia and none with Sombra. Ignore him completely so that Celestia believes that you are maintaining your sanity. Finally, allow your craving for chocolate chip cookies to take a hold of you and request one. Eat it very noisily. Watch as Sombra disappears. Celestia comments on the chocolate chip cookie's powers to banish mental instability in unicorns.

"IF YOU KNEW WHAT THE GHOSTBUSTERS THEME EVEN WAS YOU'D SING IT A THOUSAND TIMES IF IT SOMEHOW LET YOU PUNCH GHOSTS BETTER!!!!"

At this point it seems that Ghost Sombra has stopped laughing BUT THAT IS NOT IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW!

You throw another punch at him, which unfortunately, you miss and it causes you to stumble over and fall back down a few feet from him. You look back up at him from where you are, the way he is looking at you is... well not evil, he just seems kind of confused.

THAT DOESN'T MATTER RIGHT NOW THOUGH! You can still go, so you jump back to your hooves and turn around to face him, all in one fluid motion. On any other occasion you'd take a moment to reflect on how cool that was, but YOU GOT BETTER THINGS TO DO RIGHT NOW!

You charge right at him with the full intent of tackling that annoying little ******* to the ground and beating his face in senselessly. The look on his face doesn't change at all as you run towards him, but you don't care. Then, YOU LEAP!

-Just under one our and one destroyed room later-

You lay there helplessly on the floor out of breath as you clumsily swing the bed leg you tore off of the excessively large bed that Celestia had so generously provided for you at Sombra again with your magic, and again it goes right through him. So you swing it again, and again, and again, and then after that time, you start to swing it again before you finally just let it fall.

Dear Celestia you are out of breath. You flip over onto your back and stare at the ceiling for... who knows how long. You take deep breaths... you're out of breath, you're thirsty, and whatever energy you had, you just used it. You threw everything you had at that stupid floating abomination of a ghost... and still he didn't move.

Your eyes lazily move upwards to look at where he's floating, still in the same places as before. The look he has on his face is a look that suggests that your best method of attacking was to spit on him, which would explain why it looks weirded out and confused. As you look at it, you try to muster up, just some... little... bit... of energy.... left.... in your horn..... to grab something and pound him into the marble floors with it....

But alas, your horn barely sparkles.

"Are you done now?" The Ghost of Sombra asks you. You don't respond. You just take in another breath. Celestia it feels like your heart wants to pound out of your chest, and not in a good way. "Thought so." Is all he says to you.

You don't really give it any thought though, you just lay there. You lay there in your own wasted effort.

After an unspecified amount of time later, you finally get back up on your hooves, then walk over and get yourself a drink of water, and then another one cause the first one wasn't enough. The Ghost of Sombra just keeps watching you without saying anything as you do. You turn around to look at him again as you finish your glass. He's still staring at you in the same way he was before.

And you.... You throw your glass at him. It goes right through him. Just like everything else you threw at him did.

"Yeah, that thing I said about being a spirit," he says to you. "Still applies. Nothing's changed in the last hour."

At that, you give up. You let out a breath that you didn't even realize you'd been holding in, and then slump to the floor and sit on your haunches with your head and eyes looking towards the ground. You don't see it, but you feel the Ghost of Sombra float over towards you. You slowly, very slowly, look up at him as he approaches. Part of you wants to furiously ask why if you were able to throw him with your magic earlier, why couldn't you do anything to him now, but you just don't care anymore.

Then, he sighs, and his attitude appears to change.

"Look, I want to help you," he says, though you're not sure if you should believe him. "As UNBELIEVABLE as that sounds. I do need your help. You're not the only thing that's seen that Nyarlathotep... thing, and trust me when I say you're certainly not the only one who wants it gone." At that... you're not sure if you should believe him but. "Look, I know you have absolutely no reason to trust me, but that son of a b***** has my body and I can't do anything while I'm like this, so it's not like I can stop him myself. I know you want to stop him too, so since I am stuck like this, and stuck with you it seems. We might as well make the best of the situation. I'll help you if you help me." Now, you're almost ready to believe him. "How does that saying go, the enemy of my enemy is my friend?" And with that, he smiles. He legitimately, smiles. He smiles a genuine, not at all evil, and completely honest (at least in appearance) smile. If you didn't see it for yourself, you'd think it was impossible that a smile like that could exist on him.

And at that, you let out another sigh, and then sit up a little bit.

"All right," you say to him. In all honesty, you're not entirely sure you want to trust him, and you certainly don't want his company, but if he is going to be stuck with you, then you might as well utilize him if he has any uses. "So, what do we do now?" You ask him.

"Well first we have to get you properly motivated," he says as he turns around and floats away from you a bit. You... you honestly just look at him confused. Motivated, for what? He turns around to look back at you once he's a few feet away, and he does see this. "Oh come on. You can't go see Celestia the way you are right now." At that, he has your attention, why for the love of you can't you- "You're a wreck," he says to you before you can finish that thought. "Not just the way you look right now, and you do look like a wreck let me assure you, but mentally. Your a mess in the head and we need to get you sorted out first." And at that, you know he is lying.

"What are you-?" You're about to ask him before he interrupts you.

"I watched you spend over six hours staring at the door beating yourself up for what she MIGHT say to you," he then says to you. "You're clearly not all right." You open your mouth to argue with him, but before you can say anything you think through what he said, and then slowly close your mouth. He is right. You can't argue with that one. "Granted what you did was pretty bad, but you still need her help, and one way or another, you still need to talk to her." You don't say say anything to that. He's right. You don't want to admit it, and under normal circumstances you'd sooner let your eyes get stung by bees than admit it, but he is right. You can't argue with that one.

Celestia damnit Ghost Sombra.

"Granted what you did was pretty bad, but you still gotta talk to her. You need her help. Nyarlathotep is still out there, and I'm roughly 98.76% certain that you're smart enough to know that you can't talk him on by yourself." You don't say anything to him, you're pretty much done arguing at this point. "So, if you are going to talk to Princess Celestia, you need to be level headed. You can't be beating yourself up the entire time you are in front of her, you need to be calm, collected, and most importantly, you need to know what you are going to say when you need to."

"Yes," you say back to him. Now you're agreeing with him, can your day get any worse?

"So we need to get you amped up, get you confident in yourself again. So you can STAND TALL AND PROUD ON ALL FOUR OF YOUR HOOVES!!!" Okay, you can't argue with his logic there, but there is still a bit of a problem.

"How do you propose we do that?" you ask him, cause you really want to know. If there is a way to make yourself feel better right now, you want to know.

"Easy," The Ghost of Sombra says to you. "We're going to sing the motivation song?" And at that point, he's lost you... again.

"The what?"

"The motivation song," he confirms to you. "Aka your theme song. This story hasn't had a musical chapter in a while, so it's high time we had one don't you think?"

"What?" What the f*ck did he just say?

"Nothing," he says. "Okay, just repeat after me and sing what I sing."

"You just said the same thing twice," you say to him.

"I know," he replies. "But that is beside the point. Ahem!" At that, he takes a few moments to clear his ghost throat.... "Me me me meeeeeee." After he says that, he grins his evilly grin again, though at this point, you can just swear that's part of his face, and stares at you.

"*Sigh* Fine. Me me me me," you say back.

"Oh come on!" Ghost Sombra says back to you, facehoofing as he does. "Put some more 'umph' into it. Let me FEEL your voice. Me me me meeeeeeee."

"Me me me meeeee," you say again, this time with a bit more enthusiasm, though you admit, it's a little forced.

"Me me me me meeeeeeee," he says again, as if he detects your forced enthusiasm.

"Me me me me meeeeeeeeeeee," you say again, this time with real enthusiasm.

"Memememememememememememememememememe," Sombra says again.

"Memememememememememememememememememememememememememememememememememememe," you sing, and you actually sing this time.

"Good," Ghost Sombra says, seeming satisfied. "Now, just sing what I sing." You don't say anything. You're pretty much committed now, much as well go with it. You take in one more deep breath to prepare, as does he. Then, after a few moments, the two of you begin.

Sombra and Twilight's motivational song

Unicorn Wizard by Ninja Sex Party (aka Twilight's theme song)

(No, seriously, have this song playing when you read through this part, it makes it that much more AWESOME!!!)

Sombra
Twilight Sparkle

"Sometimes I wish I was even more awesome than I already am.
What would my life be like if I turned this shit up to eleven (out of a possible five)?"

"Sometimes I wish I was even more awesome than I already am.
What would my life be like if I turned this shit up to eleven (out of a possible five)?"

Suddenly, out of nowhere, the sound of a guitar wailing (wait, what's a guitar?) starts out of nowhere, and for seemingly no reason, the two of you are now standing in the middle of... some kind of molten desert where all around you, volcanoes have smoke rising from them, signaling that they are about to go off.

"Ninja Sparkle," Ghost Sombra then says to you, which is weird since you aren't a ninja. You aren't even wearing ninja clothes for any reason. "Hand me my cloak." he says anyway. Slightly confused, you look to your right and notice there is a cloak there, so you pick it up with your magic and give it to him. "And my staff." You give him that too. "And my horn." Which you don't give him cause he already has one. "And that thermos of soup." Okay, that one causes you to do a bit of a double take, so you look at it for a moment, then look back at him. Seeing your confusion, he responds. "I'm hungry but also thirsty, and you can kind of like eat and drink soup at the same time. Let's go!"

Then at that, the volcanos around you suddenly EXPLODE ALL AT ONCE as the guitars pick up, and the two of you start banging your heads like METAL!!!! TARTARUS YEAH, YOU ARE FEELING IT NOW!!!

"WHOO!!!!!!!" You scream for no reason, Sombra seems to like this.

"Riding straight out of your imagination,
Using my magic to fight against crime,
Destroying evil with powers most awesome,
Protecting the weak almost all of the time.
But not Sundays -- Game of Thrones is on!"

"Riding straight out of your imagination,
Using my magic to fight against crime,
Destroying evil with powers most awesome,
Protecting the weak almost all of the time.
But not Sundays -- Game of Thrones is on!"

"Now is the time for a man of conviction,
The world needs a hero, and I am that guy,"

"Now is the time for a man of conviction,
The world needs a hero, and I am that guy,"

The two of you then jump down from above and save an innocent mare from an evil pony. You leap down on top of him and punch his face in, and again, and again.

"Look! Who is that masked mare?" The innocent mare you saved asks.

"That's Ninja Sparkle," The Ghost of Sombra explains to her. "But shut up about her. Let's focus on me, because..."

"I am the Unicorn Wizard,
Riding for justice on a comet of stars,
With the help of my sidekick Princess Hoofjob,
I'm more awesome and smarter than I already are."

"I am the Unicorn Wizard,
Riding for justice on a comet of stars,
With the help of my sidekick Princess Hoofjob,
I'm more awesome and smarter than I already are."

"I am the Unicorn Wizard,
My spells are amazing, and my reflexes quick,
My horn is my strength and my strength is my power,
And my power is my horn and my horn is my dick."

"I am the Unicorn Wizard,
My spells are amazing, and my reflexes quick,
My horn is my strength and my strength is my power,
And my power is my horn and my horn is my dick."

Wait, what?

"Here's your opportunity to stop singing if this song got too amazing for you." Ghost Sombra suddenly says to you out of nowhere. Do you want to stop. No, not right now. YOU ARE WAY TO INTO IT NOW!

"No!" You say to him, which causes him to float so close to you that his face would be literally touching yours if he wasn't transparent.

"Okay," he replies.

"My life is a party, the guests are supermodels,
Operation: I Rule is a total success,
Every day I invent a new form of karate,
That changes the way that Neighpan views the West,"

"My life is a party, the guests are supermodels,
Operation: I Rule is a total success,
Every day I invent a new form of karate,
That changes the way that Neighpan views the West,"

"Now's that's progress! Doitashi Mashitay!"

"Now's that's progress! Doitashi Mashitay!"

"Then we retire to the Chamber of Passion,
And bathe in pool of strawberries and cream,
The strawberries rub and exfoliate gently,
The cream travels places you can't even dream."

"Then we retire to the Chamber of Passion,
And bathe in pool of strawberries and cream,
The strawberries rub and exfoliate gently,
The cream travels places you can't even dream."

.... GAH YOU JUST DREAMED IT!!! CELESTIA WHY DID YOU DREAM IT!?

"Ugh, I think I just dreamed it," you tell Ghost Sombra.

"How was it?" Ghost Sombra replies to you. "Amazing?"

"Ugh..." is all you say in response.

"You mean Ugh...stounding?" Ghost Sombra says. "Yeah. You do."

"I am the Unicorn Wizard,
Just like Danny Sexbang, I'm handsome and strong,
With the help of my hellhounds Tinkles and Gary,
We punish the wicked then break into song."

"I am the Unicorn Wizard,
Just like Danny Sexbang, I'm handsome and strong,
With the help of my hellhounds Tinkles and Gary,
We punish the wicked then break into song."

"I am the Unicorn Wizard,
A superhero for the entire pony race,
My wand casts a spell that will unlock the door,
And the wand is my junk and the door is your face."

"I am the Unicorn Wizard,
A superhero for the entire pony race,
My wand casts a spell that will unlock the door,
And the wand is my junk and the door is your face."

And then,

"Twilight..." you suddenly hear. After a few moments, you open your eyes again. Your vision is blurry, but you can make our a large white pony with a rainbow colored.... Celestia. "Twilight, wake up!" She says to you. You blink to clear your vision, and confirm that yes, it is her. "Some of the guards said they heard you screaming, so I came as quickly as I could."

"Oh, hey Princess," you say to her as you wake up with the biggest smile on your face that you've had in a long time. "I had the craziest dream! I was the unicorn wizard."

"Awww," Princess Celestia says back to you as she looks down on your just waking up form like only a mother would. "Shut up."

"Unicorn Wizard." You say again as you remember it fondly... wow, it was fun being that.

"I said shut up," Celestia say to you again.

"You shut up," You reply back to her.

End of the Mane 6 Mini storylines

-Side Story-

-Ponyville-

Close to the Center of Town

*Suddenly appears in the space the other side story authors occupy*
HEEEEEERRRRREEEEE'SSSS GORDON!!!

*Kirk and the rest of his party walk through Ponyville as they get closer and closer to the center of town. Kirk, for whatever reason, does not seem happy, at all. In fact, it is mostly him who is walking, the rest are just following him. None of them have said a word since they left the library. Suddenly, Kirk stops.*

Gordon Freebrony: Captain...

*Kirk suddenly turns around*

Kirk: All right, me... I mean ponies, we need to find shelter. I believe that someplace close to Zeocra's hut would prove to be the best right now. We can handle whatever these woods throw at us.

Zecora: (Kind of shocked he even suggested that) I admire your pride, but feel it would be best for you to sleep inside.

Spock: She is right, Captain, the creatures of the forest may prove to be far too dangerous or might be able to overpower us.

McCoy: And the last thing I need is to be patching you up in the middle of a dark forest.

K: I have more faith than most in your skills as a surgeon, Bones.

M: I'm a doctor, Jim, not a miracle worker.

GF: Can we all just agree that it would be better to sleep inside for the night, regardless.

K: Yes, yes we can agree on that, but what do you suggest. (Gets closer to Gordon Freebrony for some reason, like he's angry) We don't have any money so we can't afford a hotel, and we don't know anyone here so it's not like we can ask them to spend the night. So... setting up camp in the forest is not so much our best bet, but our only bet right now. Plus, (turns to Zecora, suddenly his normal self) if we stay close to Zecora's hut, we should be fine.

*They all just look at him as if he is insane, all except for Spock, as he shows no response.*

Z: I understand your lack of bits means you must sleep outside for the night, but the creatures of the Everfree Forest can give you quite a fright. It would be-

K: Don't worry about us Zecora, this isn't our first camp in the woods. We'll be fine.

*He starts walking away back the way they came (towards Zecora's hut) before Zecora can say anything else. All the others just keep watching him like he's still crazy, though Gordon is worried at this point. Zecora looks at him, then back to Kirk, then back to Gordon. She's seems to be worried for him.*

-Somewhere between Ponyville and Appaloosa-

*Braeburn and Little Strongheart are still sitting on the floor playing board games, though now they both have cups of what appears to be hot cocoa at their sides. After a few more moves, Braeburn flips over a.... some kind of board game it's not quiet clear what it is, but it's not chess.*

Braeburn: CELESTIA DAMN IT!

Little Strongheart: (Giggles) What, can't come up with a good move. You almost had me there (teasingly).

*Braeburn lets out a groan, and then takes a sip of cocoa. Little Strongheart just giggles again at that.*

B: Yeah, sure. Sure I did. (Looks up through the window) *Yawns* Sun's goin down, Ah think Ahm gonna hit the hay.

LS: Ah come on, one more game?

B: No! Ah don't think so.

LS: (Giggles)

*Braeburn chugs his cocoa until it's gone, then gets up and walks over to his bed, where he throws off his hat and vest. Little Strongheart sits on the floor where she is, her eyes.... seemingly following Braeburn as he throws of his two articles of clothing. Braeburn then hops into the bed and throws the covers over him.*

B: Goodnight Little Strongheart, we got a big day tahmorrow.

LS: (takes one more sip) Yeah, yeah I guess we do.

*After a few more minutes, Little Strongheart gets up and takes off her feather hat. Right before she was about to climb into bed, she stopped. She stopped, the look on her face changing from her usual happy tone, to one less happy.*

LS: Hey Braeburn.

B: Yeah.

LS: About tomorrow, do you think that-

*Braeburn sits up in the bed.*

B: What are yah worried about? It's okay, you can tell me.

LS: (sighs) Well, it's just, I'm a buffalo, and, Ponyville-

B: Ah don't start that again. (sits up and turns to face her, she turns around to face him) They're not gonna care about all that. Heck, Ah bet most of em don't even know about the whole war thing we had a while back, and even if they did they must know that things are all good now. Besides, mah cousin's there remember, you've met her before."

LS: Yeah, and she wasn't that nice to me when we first me.

B: Ah don't be sweatin that, it's all water under the bridge now. She's not gonna hold it against ya, and 'sides, all her friends are there too, they know ya. They're not gonna judge ya just cause yer a buffalo. Heck, from the letters I get from mah cousin every now and again they get all kinds of creatures poppin by that little town o' theirs, though most of the time they-

*Braeburn is cut off by Little Strongheart giggling to herself again.*

B: What?

LS: Oh, it's nothing. (Pauses for a moment) I guess you're right, I shouldn't worry about a thing. Anyway, (climbs into her bed) night Braeburn.

B: Ganight.

*Braeburn shuts off the lights, and then falls asleep like a rock and starts snoring like Applejack kind of does. Little Strongheart stays awake for a few more moments. After a minute or so passes, she sits up in her bed again and just looks at Braeburn while he's sleeping. She looks at him for a few moments.*

LS: Oh Braeburn.

*She falls back into her bed, her usual cheerfulness seemingly gone.*

-The Dalek Flagship The Caesar-

Control room

*Grey Rebl's face comes on screen next to the screens showing the battle between Nana and the Hacking AI at Starcraft 2.*

Grey Rebl: Hey guys, did I miss any- (sees the Starcraft war) HOLY F*CK WHAT IS GOING ON!?

*snoring coming from my room

In my dreams:

Me: Glbhg... Disney... decent movies... not corporate takeover... childhood... *snoring*

Antares: ...

Nikola: Should I inform the Master that Grey Rebl is online?

Antares: That would be preferable. Master, awaken! The AIA has contacted us!

Me: Zbghskgndyjhx... WAGH! *falls off bed* Oh, fine! *turns into true form, and slithers into communications room* Yo, Grey rebl! Why've you been out for so long?

(This scene happens, pretty much as is)

*Swimming Dalek slithers into the control room with the others*

Swimming Dalek: Yo, Grey Rebl! Why've you-

GR: (See's Swimming Dalek's form) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SD: What? (looks at self) Oh, right. (Changes back to his human appearance) Is this better?

GR: Please.... Never... EVER... do that, again.

SD: Okay... So anyway, why've you been out for so long?

GR: Busy.

SD: Oh, so why you calling now?

GR: Well, I wanted to get an update from you guys, but...... pardon my Prench but, WHAT THE F*CK IS GOING ON HERE RIGHT NOW! ARE YOU FIGHTING ANOTHER WAR OR SOMETHING!?

*Hacking 3 steps out from behind Swimming Dalek.

Hacker 3: Oh this, this here is a friendly battle between AI and AI! Nana and the original Hacking AI are having a face-off against each other to settle whose better by playing a game. A war game, to be exact.

GR: Doesn't sound too friendly, it sounds serious. Wait, Nana is playing a war game? For all Celestia's sake pull her out damnit! She's going to die out there!

H3: Relax, it's just a videogame.

GR: What the f*ck is a videogame?

H3: Oh, right, you don't have those do you. Umm... how do I...

SD: Do you have board games, like chess or checkers for instance?

GR: Yes.

SD: Well, the game they are playing here is pretty much like that. It's just a game, nothing more, nothing less. Though as you can see it's obviously a lot more complex than just a simple board game.

GR: Uh huh....

SD: Don't worry, it's still just a game. No one is at any risk of getting hurt. Don't worry, we wouldn't have allowed Nana to play it if she was going to get harmed in any way, we aren't like that.

GR: Well.... all right, I guess that's... Wait... whose she playing against?

H3: BRP's Hacking AI.

GR: Hacking what now... who is BRP?

SD: Yeah, remember that evil Dalek problem we had a while back.

GR: Yeah.

SD: Well, BRP is another human who helped us hack into their flagship and take over it's systems thanks to his own sentient artificial intelligence that he, and we I guess, simply refer to as the 'Hacking AI'. We're not sure whether or not it has an actual name, he hasn't told us and we never really thought to ask.

GR: And... Nana's playing a war game against this thing?

SD: Yes.

H3: Actually, we've been meaning to ask you about that.

GR: About what? (Swimming Dalek also looks at him confused)

H3: Was Nana designed with some kind of artificial emotion processor in mind?

GR: What?

H3: Well, this whole thing started cause she was basically jealous of him cause now there's another artificial intelligence on board, and when she started talking to him, she started getting.... a little weird.

GR: Define weird.

H3: Well she..... Look, that's not important right now, basically what I'm asking you is, does she have emotions? Does she feel like we do? You know what I mean?

Grey Rebl: Okay... So, how's Nana? Has she been a little... off lately? Magic can be quite unpredictable if not careful, especially when intelligent. (worried) And, well, the lab ponies down here treat her as if she were our own filly. The thought she is up in space with potential variables is worrying, and that battle with the Evil Daleks isn't helping.

GR: (pondering) Well, she was programmed with the magic of friendship in mind. Magic can be quite unpredictable if not careful, especially when intelligent, and, well, the lab ponies down here treat her as if she were our own filly. The thought of her up in space with potential variables is worrying, and that battle with the Evil Dalek's isn't helping.

SD: Rest assured, she is fine. We would never do anything to jeopardize her in any way.

H3: Wait, she was programmed with magic?

GR: Of course. It's what we got down here, might as well use it.

H3: Really...

GR: Yeah, and she understands all the elements of friendship. Honesty, loyalty, generosity, kindness, laughter, and of course magic, can't leave that out.

H3: Magic is a part of friendship?

GR: Yes.

H3: How does, you know what, I'm not even gonna ask. So basically she was programmed to understand all of these things, but does she feel them?

GR: I don't understand. How can you understand something if you don't feel it for yourself?

H3: Oh... so she does have emotions.

GR: Why are you asking me this?

H3: Well, because...... because she-

*Registered Anonymous out of f*cking nowhere!*

Registered Anonymous: HEY GUYS WHAT'S GOING ON!?

Author's Note

Status: edited:

Twilight Sparkle's theme song:
(I am not joking, this song was why I started with the whole theme song BS in the first place)

For Your Viewing Pleasure

Cleansed by Fire

B Mashina by Laibach

There, in the middle of the desert, further west than the city of Las Pegasus to the point that it almost became forested hills, but still far enough from civilization to not warrant curiosity from taking the best of some pony’s mind and leading he or she there. The official address of this warehouse, six stories tall and several hundred feet deep, remained scratched from all books, scratched from all instrumentation to indicate an approximate location of the building to any inquiring eyes. The warehouse, surrounded on all sides by high fences of barbed-wire, observation towers, and heavily armed anti-magic installations remained ever busy during the daytime, but at night, silence remained to watch the night, with guards ponies surrounding the facility at all times. At this time though, on this single night in the middle of the desert, the facility remained alight, the guard towers burning, the defenses crushed, and the fence torn down with a single locomotive and subsequent cars positioned where the loading dock met the rails.

Three guards, tied to a lamppost, watched as a light grey, blonde maned, pegasus mare with honey eyes that seemed to be looking in two different directions directed the others into loading up some materials, the gags in their mouths preventing any form of conversation with the thieves. The ponies loaded sensitive materials, most of them in metal boxes labeled with radioactive material warnings in addition to Geiger levels, and schematics for how to utilize the materials in the device.

“Be sure to place the matching materials together on the train,” the grey mare called out over the sound of the squeaking carts. A yellow earthpony mare with a curly orange mane looked out over through the window of the locomotive’s engine, a smirk on her face and her snout covered in coal dust.

“How much longer till those guys get that ‘thing’ unloaded into the armored car?” she inquired, drawing a longing sneer from her companion before she shrugged at the question.

“The other ponies said that they encountered some kind of problem with the motorized crane or something to that affect,” she replied, “give them time, they can’t hastily move the thing otherwise, well...” She paused for a minute, her eyes flashing a brief second with the rumored images of the device’s capabilities when utilized, and all at once, she shivered at the thought. “Let’s not think about that.” She concluded when she heard the noise of the crane behind her, and turned to see it carrying a rather large metal crate stamped with the company logo as well as the other important logistical data concerning the device. The grey mare watched as the container was loaded into the railroad car while the others watched on, the guards mostly in horror at the prospect of any ponies possessing the weapon, let alone knowing what it is. The moment the box touched the floor of the car, several metal latches sprung up to hold the large container in place as the train moved across the landscape. Seconds later, the ponies slammed the door to the car shut, the exterior reading "Appleoosa Express" across the metal frame of the railroad car, and the sounds of an internal metal locking mechanism filled the air. With the door shut and locked, the time came for the second step of the plan, the part of the plan that involved sending a message to the government of Canterlot, to the government of Celestia and to the government of Risen Flag. The small group of ponies, sans the eponymous yellow pony, led by the grey mare, walked to the heart of the factory, where there lay three finished devices, each one strapped to single remote detonator with a wireless remote. According to the instruction manual, the safe distance for the blast happened to be twenty-five miles, given the blast radius of the weapon to be twenty-two miles, it would safe to assume that perhaps thirty or even forty miles, would serve better as the safe distance than the suggested.

“So, what in the name of Tartarus,” one pony stated, “is this thing exactly?” his hoof reaching towards the device, to which the grey mare immediately smacked the hoof away, with a stern look upon her face.

“This is an atomic weapon, developed by a private company in the hopes of selling it to the government for possible future use in warfare,” the grey mare explained with a rather enthusiastic and bubbly tone to her voice. “According to the AIA operatives within the Canterlot government,” the Pegasus continued, “the princesses themselves commissioned this weapon since several neighboring kingdoms have already made significant purchases of Flag’s new guns. If detonated, a single one of these devices could vaporize the entire city of Canterlot and the blast radius of the device would result in the burning of the surrounding counties and towns, including Ponyville.”

“Why would the princesses ask for such a device to be built?” the same pony as before asked, causing the grey mare to scrunch her face and furrow her brow in response. “Should not a war with guns be fault in equivalency to ensure fairness on all parties?”

“If an enemy possesses a larger and much more destructive weapon, it discourages warfare, but we are taking that one on the train for a much different purpose,” the grey mare resumed, walking up to the detonator and pulling a single key from within her mane. “The day may come when the government turns its eyes on us and decides with a single stroke of buttons and keys to end our lives in a flash of yellow fire and alight the sky with a second sun. The time of the common pony’s revolution is upon us and we will start it with a bang.” She inserted the silver key, which prompted the screen mounted on the nearest device to light up, and a voice prompted for further command.

“Desired detonation time,” the voice commanded to which the cross-eyed Pegasus leaned forward and spoke into the single embedded microphone on the device.

“Three hours and fifteen minutes,” she started and then looked back at her compatriots, a smile spreading across her lips, “commence countdown.” All at once, an alarm sounded, blaring over the ponies as the countdown on the devices began to move, prompting the ponies to run for the train, which seconds earlier began to move from the factory. The three factory workers watched in horror as the train departed, the pegasus throwing the three a seductive wink before the train picked up substantial speed and carried off into the night. They sat writhing in horror as the seconds ticked away into minutes and knew soon enough, that the minutes turned into hours and the end was not far behind.

-Meanwhile: 55 miles away from the Factory-

Roseluck stood on the hilltop, a scarf wrapped around her neck as she looked on in the distance through a pair of binoculars.

“It’s freezing out here,” she moaned, “I don’t get why he sends me out on these assignments sometimes,” she bemused, adjusting the tripod that was placed before her. “I’m going to be busy, he says,” she complained, “I need you to make sure that he made use of the documents, he says,” she concluded as she looked down at the clock placed near the tripod. “I’ve been here for three hours, I’m leaving,” she said before turning around only to find a red doorframe and a creature stepping forth from it.

“Leaving so soon,” Daedaltheus XIV stated, a suit jacket added to his usual dress of white shirt and slacks, “when there is still the finale to watch, Roseluck.” She ‘eeped’ and jumped where she stood, nearly knocking over the sensitive instrument behind her.

“Daedaltheus, I was just...” she never finished that sentence as the sky behind her alit with glorious hues of crimson, yellow and orange, as though the sun itself shown in the dark of the night. “By Celestia, what have you done, Daedaltheus?” she asked as the mushroom cloud expanded into the night sky and the earth shook with such violence as if the planet itself shifted under the weight of the new hell fire brought to life by a mad pony’s hooves.

“It is death, Roseluck,” he stated, a certain madness flaring up behind his eyes, “death concentrated into a single cylinder and packaged for easy delivery.”

-On the Train Bound for Appleoosa-

The ponies rested in the passenger car as the sound of the explosion rocked the air and sent vibrations throughout the train. The grey mare smiled and softly hummed a tune to herself as the locomotive sped down the tracks towards its destination and towards the glorious revolution that lay at hoof, the revolution to be started by the AIA for all the ponies under Celestia and Luna’s banner.

In the car behind them, a metal box sat, locked into the floor with a simple stamp of data on its side:

Weapon: Tsar Bomba

Type: Nuclear

Manufacturer: Flag Industrial Works

Approved for Delivery: Verified

Operational Status: ARMED.

-Meanwhile in Canterlot-

A distinctly bipedal figure stepped forth through the door to Risen Flag’s office, a human figure who deftly placed a single folder, thick with papers onto the desk of the Canterlot senator who now slept in his chambers with a tired unicorn mare snug to his side. The label on the file folder read simply, in red lettering with several sticky notes placed about it:

Complete Transcripts of the Conversations, Locations and Activities of Grey Rebl, AIA Operatives, Registered Anonymous, Swimming Dalek, BRP, and Gordon Freebrony

“For your viewing pleasure when you wake,” Daedaltheus XIV stated coldly, “Mister Risen Flag.”

What Do You Do?

What Do You Do?

What Do You Do?

What Do You Do?

What Do You Do?

-Chapter written by DaedaltheusXIV-

Author's Note

status: edited

Now this story is going to get better YAY!!!!

"What's up commenters, regular readers, casual readers, readers who want to comment but can't cause they don't have an account, ponies, bronies, and cronies.........."

"Say, I wonder how many words I can rhyme with ponies, I bet I can do at least 23............"

"...."

"...."

"...."

"I'll work on that later. Anyway, Pinkie Pie here. I'm writing this here to tell you that Razor Bazer unfortunately, is still not here, as he is still in Europe getting some much needed rest and relaxation so that he can make a swift recovery from the manic depression he's been suffering from for the past few months."

"I think he's in Barcelona right now.... Hehe, you know I never really realized before, but Barcelona is a funny word. I wonder how many words I can rhyme with Barcelona? Probably as many as ponies. MAYBE-....... Nah, maybe not as much. It's a longer word."

"BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT anyway, since he still is not here and since Day Dal Theus isn't going to write this story for him, .... Hehe. See what I did there?"

"Anyway, since Razor Bazer isn't here, I decided (just now), that I am going to take over writing this story for now on!!!!!!!"

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"That's right! From now on, I'll be reading all of your comments and writing this story so that together we can STOP THAT BIG MEANIE BEANIE PANTS RISEN FLAGG AND PUT AN END TO HIS NEFARIOUS SCHEMES ONCE AND FOR ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(ALL THE EXCLAMATION POINTS!)"

"*sigh...."

"Now, as my first order of business-"

*Door opens behind her*

Ah, it's good to be home.......

*Throws stuff on the floor and walks in*

F*** man I really needed that. I wonder how-

...

"..."

...

"..."

...

"..."

///

"///"

...

"..."

...

"onesies twosies threesies"

...

"..."

...

"Hi.... Razor Bazer... ..... ... Welcome ho-"

PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Stillintroublegottagobye-."

*Bing!*

Quick Recap

Hey what's up everyone.

Since it's been a while since I've updated this story, lets have ourselves a little recap shall we.

After the events of the last story (read the previous recap if you want to know what happened in that, cause I am not going through all that again), our hero, Jason Morgan woke up once again and, after introducing Lyra to the concept of scrambled eggs (we'll see what's to come of this), he headed out back to Sweet Apple Acres to resume his work there while he waits for Twilight Sparkle to wake back up so that she can send him home, as she is the only one who knows the supposed coordinates for his universe in this supposed multiverse of everything (read Celestia's explanation in the previous story cause no way in hell am I going through that again). Nothing out of the ordinary except for introducing a wayward Pinkie Pie to Saria's song, but nothing seems to have come from this potentially disastrous combination..... yet...

Anyway, upon arriving at Sweet Apple Acres, Jason is immediately noticed by Applebloom as is pressured by her (as well as Applejack to a degree) to go crusading with her and the fellow crusaders, as Applejack won't let Applebloom go on their latest crusade unless either she, or someone else, is there to make sure that they all are safe, which considering that their latest crusade is "Cutie Mark Crusader Lumberjacks," probably a good idea.

Reluctantly (and by reluctantly I mean Applebloom made this face at him:

Yeah.... kind of hard to resist that face), Jason agreed to go with them with Applejack's permission.

After getting there and listening to Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo debate over whether Jason looked more like a monkey or a weasel, the crusaders (and of course, them being children, pelted Jason with endless questions the whole time) led Jason into the heavily forested area at the edge of Sweet Apple Acres to the tree they were planning to cut down to get their cutie marks. After a bunch of meanwhiles, important plot points, and bits and cameos which even though they mean nothing now, will mean things later in the story, so yeah, they finally reach the tree, which, to the surprise of Jason and to the surprise of hardly anybody reading this (at least I think), the tree was friggin huge, and by friggin huge I mean it was as big around as a friggin house and tall to boot.

ANYWAY, after convincing the crusaders that it would probably be much wiser to start with a much smaller tree and work up towards the bigger ones, they all get excited again and run back towards their treehouse in search of another tree, leaving Jason there all alone.

Jason is about to leave too, but the moment he does, he is knocked back into the huge ass tree by Haypennywise, a member of the chief villain Risen Flagg's inner circle known as The Plush. From here, Jason and Haypennywise begin fighting each other. The fight goes... pretty much as one would expect, with Jason just being a normal human and Haypennywise literally being Pennywise the Clown from IT just in pony form. Basically, Haypennywise kicks his little mortal ass.

After biting Jason in the shoulder and knocking him into another tree, Haypennywise is about to deliver the final blow, but Jason is saved at the last minute by the return of, of all things, the hind helicopter. Jesus then drops down from it in front of Jason and in between Jason and Haypennywise. Upon closer inspection however, the man turns out now to be Jesus, but is in fact, Jason's great grandfather Francis Morgan (the same Francis Morgan from H.P. Lovecraft stroy, The Dunwich Horror), wearing white robe like clothes and having longer than average hair.

Francis then fights Haypennywise with the power to say anything in Latin, and make it happen. No, really, that's how his powers work. He can say literally any phrase in Latin he wants, and it will happen. Francis puts up a hell of a fight against Haypennywise, but Haypennywise gets in one lucky shot. Before he can finish off Francis Morgan however, Jason Morgan, while watching the fight, has a flashback to some of the events that happened before he came to Equestria (which I really recommend you all read cause the next chapter after this is gonna continue where that left off. I'll remind you again in the next chapter just in case you forget though.) Jason unlocks the third power that was in his character channeling list but was previously locked to him.

Yeah, remember this

Character Slot 1: The Doctor

Character Slot 2: King Arthur

********** Slot 3: Ability Locked

Well, it was unlocked, and was revealed to be this.

Special Ability: Morgan Bloodline

What does this mean? Well, it means that Jason Morgan now has the same demigod Latin speaking abilities that Francis Morgan does. With these new powers, Jason gets back up and saves his grandfather, and also knocks Haypennywise twenty feet back into several trees in a manner not to dissimilar to FUS RO DAH. However, just before Jason and Francis can finish him off, Haypennywise splits the earth in between them and gets away. Before Jason can even say a word to his great grandfather (who in the flashback is revealed to have supposedly died years ago), the hind helicopter returns and takes him away. At this moment, Jason also notices that who he thought was Solid Snake, doesn't really sound like him or how he's supposed to. Before he can get a good look however, the helicopter takes Francis and flies away.

Afterwards, still injured, Jason limps all the way back to the CMC's clubhouse where he collapses from blood loss.

Afterwards, Haypennywise goes back to Risen Flagg and reports what happened. Flagg of course, is naturally pissed off that Haypennywise failed to kill Jason, but suddenly gets interested when Haypennywise tells him that there is another human in Equestira, and that this other human is Francis Morgan, whom Flagg has some apparent history with. With this done, Flagg sends Haypennywise away and calls in fellow members of The Plush Trixie and Joseph Curwen (Another H.P. Lovecraft character in pony form, this one from The Case of Charles Dexter Ward), and tells them that they are going to Ponyville.

From here, the perspective of the story shifts to the members of the main six one by one, and we learn some.... interesting things, about them.

Rarity: She apparently thinks about dicks... a lot.... In fact not a second goes by where she isn't thinking of dicks, or at the very least has the thought of dicks in the back of her head.... Kind of disturbing, but not that unexpected really.

Rainbow Dash: May or may not be secretly in love with Applejack. More on this as it develops.

Applejack: Given what just happened to Jason, all of her attention is focused on getting him to the hospital right now, so yeah, no comedy here. She is however, EXTREMELY WORRIED about him. And given who happened, who wouldn't be.

Fluttershy: Not only is she secretly a drug dealer, but she secretly has incredibly dirty thoughts about everypony she knows, regardless of what sex they are.

Pinkie Pie: Is currently being punished in a deliciously ironic way cause NOBODY HIJACKS MY STORY AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!!!!!!

Twilight: Even though we discover that the Ghost of Sombra is actually the spirit of Sombra having been separated from his body, as his physical body has been resurrected and is now an acting member of The Plush (basically a puppet controlled by Risen Flagg), Twilight's level of sanity and mental state is still very much questionable at best at this point. Also, her level or hornyness is questionable as well given some of the things she keeps thinking about.

But yes, through a series of circumstances, all of the main six (sans Twilight, since she is still in Canterlot), make it to the hospital where Jason is taken into the ICU.

And then my co-author Daedaltheus returns.....

And then this happens.

(No, seriously read this, there is no way I can describe this as awesomely as the chapter itself does)

And that is where we are now.

And this is normally the part where I would recap the side story. However, since the number of people who actually care about and read the side story number to about the same as the number of people in it (from what I've been led to believe by you guys), I'm not gonna waste my time recaping it if none of you are gonna care to read it anyway.

(Speaking of which, you guys in the side story might wanna read the second chapter to this story again (the one after the first recap). Just cause..... *smiles*)

Which is a damn shame cause some things that happen in the side story are going to come in and affect the main story in big ways, so when something happens and you guys are like "WHAT THE F*** WHERE DID THIS COME FROM!?" My best and only real response is gonna be "Well, if you read the side story, you'd know." So yeah...

But yes, with all that out of the way.

Weeks in the Past (Again)

(Just a reminder, this chapter is a flashback that takes place immediately after the events of this chapter. So you might wanna read this one first if you wanna get completely caught up on what's happening here.)

The Sons of Dunwich

The Thing That Should Not Be by Metallica

But not too many.

You open your eyes to find yourself staring directly up at the night sky. The beautiful night sky.

It was so crystal clear. There wasn't a cloud in the sky. You could see every star. You can even make out several constellations from where you lay. There's Orion, and there's Ursa Major, and, is that Libra? Yeah, it's Libra. At least you think it is. You don't think you've ever seen the night sky this clear. You could spend all night looking at it. Just lying here looking up at it... forever, or at least for as long as you could. Pity you don't have a girlfriend or any kind of significant other to enjoy this with. And the sound of the waves nearby only adds to the ambiance of the stars above somehow.

Wait, what?

It's at that instant that all of your senses return to you all at once (you know how it is when you wake up, first you open your eyes and see whatever directly in front of you, then after a few moments you start actually paying attention to what's around you, like actually noticing how your bedsheets feel or hearing the sounds of whatever's going on around you. It's not as if you don't feel or hear them, you just don't notice them immediately since you're just coming out of sleep) and you realize several things.

For starters, you don't think that you're anywhere remotely close to where you were before. The fact that you hear water pretty much confirms that for you. The last thing you remember was getting pulled into an alleyway behind that diner you ate at before getting kicked in the face by that friggin huge guy, and you're pretty sure it was morning then. That aside, the next thing you notice is how the floor beneath you feels. It doesn't feel like concrete, and it's certainly not a bed. It's wood. It felt like some kind of harsh, wooden floor, and maybe it's just you, but it seems to be rocking back and forth. Now that you think about it, the stars above you seem to be moving back and forth a little bit too. That, combined with the sound of water all around you crashing against something like waves only drew you to one conclusion.

You sat back up instantaneously the moment you could feel yourself able to move, only to come face to face with the ocean in front of you. It doesn't take long after you see that for you to get back on your feet and walk towards the edge. You look down into the water the moment you reach it. You see the light of the stars reflected in the water as well as your own reflection. The water was just as crystal clear as the skies.

With all of this, your mind could only draw one conclusion. It wasn't as if you could be anywhere else.

You were on a boat.

"Ah, so that lad's finally awake," you suddenly hear a voice that sounds like gravel being rubbed into some poor bastard's face say. Startled, to say the least, you immediately turn around to see the source of the voice standing in front of the cabin of the boat. He was shorter than you, if only by a few inches, and wore a white, buttoned up shirt, a pair of jeans, a pair of black boots and a navy blue jacket. He also had on a blue ship captain's hat that matched his jacket. Yes, he actually was wearing a ship captain's hat. Judging by just his clothes alone, this guy couldn't be anymore of a stereotypical sailor than he already was. It probably wouldn't have been that much of a stretch to guess that this was his ship.

He was also much older than you by the looks of him, maybe in his late 50's or 60's at least, as his skin, especially on his face, showed obvious wrinkles and he sported long, pure white hair that was haphazardly cut behind him. His hat did little if anything to hide it. His face also looked a little beat up, though there weren't any distinguishing features you could point out, though he did have that kind of badly shaven facial scruff that could easily be mistaken for sandpaper. From the looks of it, you could have sanded a while block of oak on his face. Also, despite all clothes and the obvious beer gut he had, you could tell he was packing some muscle. Overall, he wasn't exactly easy on the eye, and if you were going to be completely honest, kind of intimidating.

"Who the f*ck are you?" you ask him while trying your best not to look scared even though you are. Not that you could blame yourself for being scared in a situation like this. "And where the hell am I?"

"You're on a ship," the ship's captain responded in a tone that might as well have screamed 'Isn't it f*cking obvious!' "Well at least a simple fishing barge by all accounts?"

"Okay..." you say to him. Obviously you aren't gonna get any answers about that. "What am I doing here?"

"You came bargin' into our peaceful little f*ckin' town askin' all the wrong questions, Jason," he replies. Wait, he knows your name. How the f*ck does he know your name? "All the wrong questions, boy." At that, the look on his face changes to one that could pretty much stab you with it's gaze. It was... kind of freaking you out a little now. Seriously, what the hell was this guy's deal?

"I... I was just passing through," you say to him hoping that will clear the air, even though the know the changes of that happening are kind of slim. "I was just trying to get back home and I got tired so I-"

"Decided to do some snooping around the down of Dunwich eh?" The ship's captain says before you can even finish. Wait, Dunwich. That was what the guy from before said to you before he kicked you in the face.

"What?" is all you can say.

"Decided to stick your nose into the business of others eh?" The ship's captain continues as she slowly starts walking towards you. Since you're already up against the railing between you and the water, you really have no place to go. "Diggin' up some dirt on the ole Sons of Dunwich, aren't ya?" Right as he finishes that last word, he stops right in front of you. "Which brings me to my next question." Right as those words leave his mouth, he pulls out, no joke, a f*cking 44 magnum revolver from his coat and presses it against your forehead. "Which one of those sorry sons of bitches are ya workin' for!?" At this point, any resistance you might have put up to hide the fact that you were legitimately terrified right now has suddenly evaporated as you start trembling.

"W-who?" is literally all you can say.

"The Deep Ones, The Cult of Cthulhu, the Yith," the ship's captain says as he pushes the barrel of his gun farther into your forehead, which cause you to back up into the railing so much you almost fall overboard. "Or perhaps you are in it deep, boy, real deep, like workin’ for the Man in Black? Who sent you to Dunwich, boy?!" He screams as he pushes you within less than a millimeter of falling over the edge.

"I came through here looking for my great grandfather because mentioned some place like this in a diary of his!" You scream out in terror. If the truth wasn't going to make him stop, then at this point, you don't know what will. "It was from eight decades ago, something about the some kind of monstrous horror and a family of inbred hillbillies. I got curious was all and was hoping to find out more about him. I just wanted to know who he was as a person!" You scream out at the top of your lungs as you close your eyes. Though now that you've actually said it, you have to question why you just told him what you did. There's no way in hell he's gonna believe that. What with him screaming at you about old horror stories from the 1920's. You never thought it would end like this. Hell, you're not even out of college. Why did it have to end so early. Still, it's not like there is anything you can do about it now. You keep your eyes shut and wait for the end.

Much to your surprise however, it doesn't come, he doesn't say a word, and he doesn't pull the trigger. In fact, after a few moments, you feel him pull the gun away from your head. When you open your eyes again, you see the ship's captain looking right at you with what, to you, looks like some kind of smug grin on his face.

"That’s what I was hopin’ you’d say, boy," he says as he steps back away from you and puts the gun back in his jacket. "And you best be countin’ yer f*ckin’ blessings with that one, yah sop." He says as turns around and walks back towards the cabin. Once he reaches it, he turns back around to face you and leans back against the cabin with his arms crossed. The same smug grin still adorned his face. The only thing you can do right now is stand there and not say anything.

After a few moments, your legs give out and you fall to the floor, upon which you lean back against the railing and let out the breath you didn't even realize you'd been holding in this whole time. You sit there against the edge of the ship for a moment and take a few deep breaths. Too much happened in too short a time, it was way to much for you to take. Though you do take a moment to thank whatever god let you live through this for the fact that your pants are still dry.

"It's okay, take yer time," the ship's captain says to you as he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a pack of cigarettes. "Not everyone can be tough." Right as he says that, he pulls out one and lights it. You just stay right where you are for a few more moments before you grab the railing and start pulling yourself back up.

"So..." you say once you get back on your feet. "What now?"

"That means we don't have to kill ya, fer starters," the ship's captain replies as pulls away his cigarette and lets out a puff of smoke before putting it back.

'Great, that's a comforting though,' you can't help but think to yourself. "Thanks," is all you reply.

"Believe me, we've done worse fer lesser offenses," he says to you before he takes a long drag from his cigarette. The tone of his voice suggesting that he not only meant what he said, but that he didn't really give a damn about it.

"Who are you?" You finally ask after a few more moments of silence. Since he isn't trying to kill you now, you figure you might as well ask.

"The name's Silas," the ship's captain responds as he drops his finished cigarette to the ground and steps on it. You can't help but notice just how quickly he finished it. "Silas Bishop the third. And the f*ckin' brute that kicked you in the face earlier is my first mate Isaac." As those words leave his mouth, you suddenly hear the sound of footsteps coming from behind the cabin. Judging by the sound of them, the one who carried them was definitely much larger than Silas. It's at that point that you then look to the right of where Silas is standing and see the giant guy who kicked you in the face earlier step out from behind the cabin and stand right next to him. You couldn't help but shake a bit more again. This guy could have eaten you for breakfast if he wanted, and by the look on his face, he was still pissed off. "Well...." Silas suddenly said to him in a tone of voice that he could have whacked him upside the head with. "What are ya waitin' fer Isaac? Apologize." At that, you watch the giant man look down at Silas, who doesn't let go of his smug grin, then back at you. After a few more moments of terrifying (for you at least) silence, he finally speaks.

"I'm sorry," he says to you.

"Good," Silas says to him, seeming satisfied. "Now go the f*ck away." And with that, you watch as the giant man just turns around and walks back around the cabin where he came from. With him gone, Silas directs his attention back at you. The same smug grin still on his face. You just keep looking back at him for the next few moments it takes you to stop shaking again.

"All right..." You say after you've calmed back down. With that out of the way, you feel as if it's about time you started asking some questions. "Why'd you bring me here?"

"Well," Silas began after he threw his second cigarette away. Again, he finished it quicker than he probably should have. "After we made sure you weren't a threat, we went through yer stuff and found this." At that, he then pulls something out of his pocket and throws it towards you. It lands just a few inches from your feet. When you pick it up, you can't help but feel your eyes widen to the edge of your eyeballs. It's your passport. "Jason Morgan, great-grandson of the first Son of Dunwich, Francis Morgan. Am I right?"

"You..." you couldn't even answer that. How in all the levels of hell could he have possibly known who your great grandfather was? "You knew him? You knew my grandpa?"

"Not me personally, no," Silas replies as he pulls out another cigarette. "But my granddad did. In fact they served together."

"Served, wait." They mentioned the Sons of Dunwich twice now. Just who in the hell were they and what do they have to do with your great grandfather? "Who are the Sons of Dunwich?" Silas just remains silent at that as he takes another long drag from his cigarette. After a few long moments of silence though, he finally answers.

"Ever heard of Howard Philips Lovecraft and August Derleth?"

"Yeah," you reply. At least one of those names you recognize, though it's not like it's hard to know who H.P. Lovecraft is. Hell, mostly people today know who Cthulhu is at least. Silas however, just laughs a bit at your response.

"Well, lets just say that every scrap of writing those two ever put to paper, every tiny detail was accurate and well... Lets just say, not entirely entirely works of the imagination." That... that was not the answer you were expecting. Given how terrified you were up until this point, you tried to fight it, but you just couldn't help it. You had to laugh. You do your best to hold it back though. Despite everything, something still tells you that laughing to this guy's face will just make him angry again.

"You really expect me to believe that?" you say to him.

"Your great granddad was Francis Morgan, who went to Dunwich, right?" Silas replies with a completely straight face.

"Dunwich doesn't exist."

"Because we made it that way," Silas says as he drops his third cigarette to the ground and steps on it again. You would notice how he finished it quickly again, but you have to stop right there for a moment. You're not stupid. You know that there is no way in hell that Dunwich is a real place. It's just a made up town in the story The Dunwich Horror. Still, even if it was.

"Who are the Sons of Dunwich?" you ask him again, since he really answer your question.

"To put it simply," Silas begins. "We are exterminators, researchers, protectors, practitioners of the dark arts, and above all else, the reason human beings are at the top of the world chain and not at the bottom." He stops right after that and doesn't say anything else. You don't say anything either. You just can't bring yourself to believe that there is any way in hell this guy can be serious. After a few moments though, he lets out a loud sigh and looses the smug grin he was wearing this whole time before taking out another cigarette. "Take a seat boy," he continues. "This is gonna take a while."

"I'd rather stand," you say to him.

"Whatever, makes no difference to me," he says as he lights up his fourth cigarette. He takes a few moments to take a long drag from it before blowing out another puff of smoke. "After that incident in Dunwich, your great-grandfather Francis, along with his two friends and fellow professors Henry Armitage and Warren Rice, returned to Arkham only to realize several things. Namely, that those inbred hillbillies, the Whateleys, were far from the only horrors at our world's doorstep. In fact, they weren't even the tip of the iceberg so to say, just lowly pawns. They realized that these horrors would try again sooner or later, and worse still, that they weren't gonna stop. As long as they existed, they would keep tryin again and again until they had wiped us all from the earth like the insects we were to them." He paused for another moment after that to take another long drag from his cigarette. You just kept your mouth shut.

"So," he continued. "Since the three of them were the only ones who figured out a way to fight them, they set about creating a 'secret society' if you will, or like minded men and women to wage war against the dark forces that wanted to eat us for a snack. Of course, the students at ole Miskatonic were more than a little hesitant to join, so they went back to the only place they knew they could find volunteers more than willing to fight the horrors at our world's doorstep. They returned to Dunwich with those willing to join them, started the appropriately named Sons of Dunwich." He stopped for another moment to drop his cigarette to the ground. "Unfortunately, Henry Armitage died before he could see all of this fully realized. Poor bastard was already old and very sick before he went to Dunwich, and seein' Wilbur Whateley and his brother up close and in the flesh didn't really help matters. As much as they hated to see him go. Rice and Morgan continued on with out him, since they knew it was what he would have wanted. That's why only the two of them are considered the original Sons of Dunwich." He paused for another moment after that, as if he were remembering something long ago.

"For a while things seemed to work out pretty well for them. Since Rice had been at Miskatonic for longer than Morgan, he had access to a bit more resources and contacts than Morgan did, and he used these to get into contact with some interesting people. Turned out some of their fellow professors at Miskatonic had had some kind of firsthand encounters with, shall we say, otherworldly beings, but for obvious reasons, chose to keep quiet about them. Albert Wilmarth and Wingate Peaslee were quick to join when they heard about us and what we did. With some help, Rice even got into contact with a man named Marinus Bicknell Willett, who showed them the site where the late Joseph Curwen did some of his works. Poor fool could never find the entrance to the catacombs himself, but with their help, they managed to find it, get in, and destroy it. It was one of our first successful raids." He paused for another moment to take out and light another cigarette. At this point, you've lost count of just how many he's smoked.

"Not long afterwards, with the help of their creative minds, Dr. Willet's notes on Joseph Curwen, what they learned from some of Curwen's old books, and Rice's own knowledge of classical languages, as well as the knowledge they still had from the Dunwich incident, they managed to come up with a way to fight the horrors. A way to fight them in a way they understood. A way that actually hurt them."

"What about my great grandfather?" you ask him before he can say anything else. As ludicrous as all of this sounds to you, you kind of want to know his involvement in this. The mere mention of his name however, just caused Silas to laugh a bit.

"Your great grandfather," he replies after he stops laughing. "Your great grandfather was an entirely different monster from Rice. Unlike him and Armitage, he was young. Sure, he may have been in his late 40's by the time he founded the Sons of Dunwich, but Armitage was already well past 80 and Rice was pushin' 70, so compared to them, he was young. Because of that, he went on led many missions himself. Hell, we all remember his raid on Innsmouth-"

"Wait, what!?" you say as you mentally freeze for a moment and your eyes threaten to burst out of your skull. Did you hear that right? A raid on Innsmouth. Your great-grandfather... raided a town? The reaction on Silas' face slowly started to change back into the smug grin he wore before as he saw the look on your face.

"Oh, you don't know about that do you? Not that surprising really. I doubt it's in that diary you have. Let me guess, the diary you have stops right after the Dunwich entry." He stops after that and just looks at you, as if expecting an answer. After a few moments, you just nod your head. How could he have possibly known that? You didn't bring the diary with you, and there's certainly no other way he could have read it. Not that you know of at least. "Thought so. Anyway, it started after your great-grandfather got word of a man in Arkham who shot his best friend in the head. I believe his name was Daniel Upton. Not that it matters. At first it didn't seem like much to us, but then he heard about how his friend was supposedly 'possessed' by the spirit of his father in law. Suddenly your great-grandfather was very interested, and with the help of Rice arranged a little personalized visit with this man. Professor Wingate Peaslee was quite interested in this case as well, what with his dad bein' possessed by a Yith."

"Yith?" you say before he can continue. The name seems to ring a bell somehow.

"Yeah, the great race of the Yith." Silas says as he blew out another puff of smoke. Though you're not sure now if it's the same cigarette or a different one. "From The Shadow Out Of Time. A race of beings that existed millions of years in the past, but know how to project their minds into the future. His dad got possessed by one of 'em when Wingate was but a lad, and since then he'd devoted himself to helpin' his dad find 'em. Hell, the only reason he and Dr. Wilmarth joined with us was cause we had information that they needed." He paused for another moment to let out another puff of smoke. "But we're gettin off track here aren't we. He and your great-granddad went to meet Mr. Upton, and after some convincing that they were on his side, he told them everything he knew. He told them about how his best friend got married to some girl named Asenath and how her father's spirit was possessin' her and how he was usin' her to try and possess his best friend, and that he shot him cause he had succeeded. After Peaslee, bein' a doctor and psychology and our resident 'possession expert' determined that he was both sane and not possessed himself. He told them that the body had to be cremated, lest the spirit of the bastard that possessed his friend survive. He took care of the first part, which was makin' him dead, but was afraid that since he'd been locked up and all, he couldn't take care of the second part, which was kind of essential. Morgan and Peaslee took care of that, and your great-granddad make absolutely sure that the spirit of that bastard was 100% dead." That caused you to freeze up a little. You couldn't really imagine your great-grandfather killing anybody. "That was that for that job, but one of the other things that Upton told 'em was about where the spirit of this bastard hailed from, a run down town on the coast near Ipswitch and Rowley called Innsmouth, where, lets just say more sinister things were happenin'."

"Wha-" you're about to say before he interrupts you.

"If you want the full story of what was goin' on there, read The Shadow Over Innsmouth. It pretty much covers everything you need to know. What I will tell you though, is that when your great granddad went there and saw what they were doin, well.... Let's just say, he didn't like it. At all..." He paused for another moment to let out another puff of smoke. "To make a long, complicated, and really, REALLY strange story short, he gathered up as many of us as he could, went into Innsmouth, killed every single fish person there he could find livin' there and burned the town to the ground." That.... that might as well have been a brick to the face for you. You're pretty sure that you felt your heart stop beating for several seconds. That was how much you didn't want to believe him. No way did your great-grandfather slaughter and entire town. He's not that kind of person.... At least.... as far as you know... and all you know.... is what you read in his diary... the one that stops before all of this was supposedly happening. "Took us for friggin ever, but we eventually found Y'ha-nthlei and blew it to kingdom f*ckin' come. Never did find Robert Olmstead though, though if you ask me, he's probably sleepin with the rest of the fishes down there." Part of you wants to ask him just who the hell that is, but you can't bring yourself to really care about that. You're still hung up on the whole 'your great-grandfather raided an entire town and killed everyone in it' thing. There was no possible way that could be true. You knew it.

"After that," Silas continued since you were saying anything. "They spent years turning over every corner of the globe huntin down every horror they could find and sendin' them to the howlin' abyss where they belonged." You were still listening to him, but you still couldn't let go of what he said before, it still hung in your head. "They found Francis Wayland Thurston hidin out somewhere Rhode Island. Took some convincin' but eventually, he handed over all his findin's on the cults of Cthulhu to 'em. In return we promised him protection from them. Good decision on his part, since they were scowerin' the corners of the globe just like we were lookin for 'im. Took us a while, but we eventually took care of 'em. Hell, we still got an entire regiment lookin' for the city of R'lyeh." He paused for another moment after that to drop his cigarette to the ground with all the others. He didn't take out another one this time.

"Dr. Wilmarth eventually found that race of otherworldly bein's he was lookin' fer, a race of crab like things called the Mi-Go." He paused for a moment after he said that and made a look on his face like he was about to throw up, but held it back. "They keep sayin' they're fungai, but I don't care what they say, they still look like overgrown crabs to me. Anyway, thanks to him, we now have something of a diplomatic relationship with them, which essentially amounts to 'we don't bother them, they don't bother us.' Because of that, part of our job is now protectin' them in order to make sure that nobody else finds out about em. Not that it makes much of a difference though, they were doin' just fine before we got to 'em." He paused for another moment to look at the ground.

"We never did find that street that Erich Zann lived on, and Wingate Peaslee never did find the Yith. They always somehow managed to elude us. Some of us thought it was cause they knew that we knew about them. If you ask me though, I say good riddance to them. That race of overgrown plants can go die for all I care. They never cared anything for us humans, why should we do anythin' for them." He seemed pretty pissed, and the look on his face pretty much confirmed this for you as he looked back up at you. "And before you say anything, we refuse to call them 'The Great Race,' to us they are just the Yith. There's nothing great about them and there never will be." You didn't say anything. You figured it'd be best to remain silent on this one. If you had to guess, and if you believed anything he was saying, you'd guess that relationships with the Yith have not been the best for them. After a few moments though, Silas took in a deep breath and calmed himself down, and after another moment or so he resumed talking.

"And we've been doin this ever since. Even after Miskatonic was shut down thanks to that idiot Herbert West, we're still going strong. If you ever hear about any killin's in some backwater towns' that's usually us. Even after so many years there's still quite a few idiots out there who try to bring those f*ckers back, and it's our job to deal with 'em. As long as we exist, those f*ckin' things are never comin' back." he says as the smug grin returns to his face and he looks right at you. You're honestly.... there aren't any words you know of in the english language that can accurately describe what you are feeling right now.

Not only did this guy just tell you that your great-grandfather was responsible for a massive raid on a town you've never heard of, a murder, and possibly more, but that pretty much every story ever written by H.P Lovecraft is true and these guys have been dealing with them for years. You weren't an idiot, or at the very least, you certainly weren't foolish enough to believe any of this. Silas just keeps his gaze on you and his smug grin on his face, as if expecting you to say something. Eventually though, you do. You say the obvious.

"You really expect me to believe any of that?" you say to him.

"No," is all Silas replies.

"Then why are you even telling me this at all?" you ask.

"Because you have to believe it," is all he says back to you, as if expecting that you would buy it.

"Even if I wanted to," you began, there was no way you were about to let yourself get convinced that easily. "What about H.P. Lovecraft? Even if my great-grandfather was the same Francis Morgan that went to Dunwich, even if all this stuff you say happened is true, what about him? He still existed. How does he fit into all of this?" Silas didn't respond for several moments, he just kept staring at you. You thought you had him with that one, there wasn't going to be a way he could answer that. Unfortunately for you however, you see his face twitch a little bit at first before he looks down towards the floor. At first he looks like he's trying to hold back something, but then suddenly he throws his head back against the cabin and starts laughing like he just heard the funniest joke in the world.

"Of all the sons in the Morgan line I get the brain damaged one," he says as he slowly comes back to his senses, though he's still obviously fighting back copious amounts of laughter. Did he seriously just say that about you? Did he seriously just call you stupid? This guy, the one whose been telling you that at least 90% of the H.P. Lovecraft stories are true and he's part of a secret society that's been fighting them for the past several decades... One that was started by your great-grandfather. You want to say something, you want to call this guy on his bluff, hell, you want to punch him in the face, but you restrain yourself. It takes every ounce of willpower you have, but you don't say anything, and you don't move. This guy already tried to kill you once, and given the situation you're still in, punching him probably would not be a good idea.

After a few moments he stops completely and sees the look on your face. The look on his is still the same smug grin as before, though his time it seems a little wider, no doubt because of the immense amount of amusement he must be feeling. He doesn't say anything, he just stares at you for several moments, as if expecting you to make a comeback. Against all of your not so better judgement however, you don't. Afterwards, when he no doubt sees that you aren't gonna say anything, instead of saying anything, he just starts walking towards you.

You just stay right where you are and don't move. Silas just keeps on walking towards you and pulls out, of all things, a notepad and a pen from his jacket pocket. He stops just a few feet in front of you. Not close enough to touch you, but close enough so that you could see the features on his face a little better. Not that you wanted to. Anyway, without waiting for any kind of response or reaction from you, he uncaps the pen and scribbles something on the notepad. Afterwards, he caps the pen again and turns the notepad so that you could see it. On it was a single name.

Randolph Carter

"Tell me, does this name look familiar to ya lad?" he asks you. You just stare at the notepad, confused. The name doesn't ring a bell. You don't know anyone named.... wait. He was talking about Lovecraft...

"Yeah," you reply. "He's a character in some of Lovecraft's stories." God why are you even giving dignity to this?

"Which ones?" Silas then asks, not taking his eyes off of you.

"Umm..." you say for a moment as you try to collect your thoughts. You've read Lovecraft before, you should know this. "The Statement of Randolph Carter, The Unnameable, The Silver Key, and-"

"The Dream Quest of Unknown Kadath," Silas says before you can finish. Before you can say anything else though, he takes the notepad away again and scribbles something else on it. When he shows you it again, there's a second name below Carter's.

Howard Philips Lovecraft

"Look at the two names and tell me what you see," Silas says as he holds the notepad up to you. You just stare back at it for a few moments. Randolph Carter. Howard Philips Lovecraft. One was a character, and one was the author. You don't really see anything else. While that would be what you would tell somebody normally, you don't think that's the answer this guy wants, and you're not about to tell him that you don't know. You don't really want to find out how well that would go. If there is something else on the page, it's escaping you.

After a few moments, Silas lets out an obviously frustrated sigh and takes the notepad away again. Guess he could see that you obviously didn't know. He takes his pen and scribble something else on it. After a second, he shows you the notepad again and you see the names again. When you see the names again, you can't help but feel yourself get knocked back by the strongest sense of disbelief you've felt since this conversation began as it suddenly hits you.

Randolph Carter

Howard Philips Lovecraft

"Randolph Carter is Lovecraft lad," Silas says to you as he closes the notepad and puts it back in his jacket pocket. "The name's an anagram."

"How is-" you're about to say but Silas cuts you off.

"After a number of years of searchin' the globe, we eventually discovered another one, so to say." He pauses for a moment at that. You're pretty sure you know what he's about to say, but you can't bring yourself to believe it. "The Dreamlands." Yeah, he definitely said it. "Discovered it by accident really. Some of the later members kept havin' reoccurin' dreams of that place, and it was only after they bit it that Morgan and Rice realized that it wasn't only connected to the horrors they were fightin', but that many of 'em resided there." He paused for another moment after that to take a deep breath. You just held yours. "So, naturally, us bein' us, we had to go in and see it for ourselves, and Morgan and Rice, well, they knew they had their work cut out for 'em when they started their little society, but they had no idea just how right they were until they saw that place." He paused for another moment after that and just stared at you. No way was this guy about to convince you that the dreamlands were real. "Soon we had even more things to take care of there than here in the real world, it was almost too much for us to handle. Anyway, during our many, MANY expeditions there, the name Randolph Carter kept popping up, and your great-grandfather-"

"My great-grandfather went into the dreamlands!?" you ask. You had to stop him right there. No way that was true. There was just no way.

"Aye," he said, his expression unchanged. "I said that your great-grandfather went on many missions himself. You really thought that they'd be limited to just this world?" You would have burst out laughing right there, but you held your tongue. You almost had to bite it. You were certain doing that would have gotten you killed. "Anyway," Silas continued. "Your great-grandfather, knowing fully well that small details like that could lead to big things, hell, that's what got him to Innsmouth, resolved to find him. Took 'im for f*ckin' ever, seriously lad, you have no idea how hard it is to collect information from the dreamlands, what with you forgettin' everything you knew the second you woke up, being dreams and all, but he eventually found 'im. What he found was, well, not what he expected, to say the least." He stopped for another moment after that to take a breath.

"I know you've read some of his stories lad, but I don't know how much you know about Lovecraft himself or his personal life, but I can assure you that most of what you know is true, up till a point. So you can no doubt imagine your great-grandfather's surprise when he found out that he was the infamous Randolph Carter from the dreamlands." You wanted to say something right there, but you couldn't for the life of you figure out what. "Anyway," he continued. "It took some convincin', and a lot effort on your great-grandfather's part, but eventually, he agreed to help us, since he knew the dreamlands better than any of us ever could have. And help us he did. He helped us on many missions for most of his life. In fact, there aren't any of us who wouldn't say that he was the most valuable asset we ever had. However, he preferred keepin' to himself and spent most of his time in the dreamlands. He claimed that liked it there better than the real world, which wasn't that kind to him, and given the state he was in when they found him, I can't say I blame him. As such, he hardly ever went on any missions himself, and most of his contributions to our cause ended up bein' variations of 'go here and kill this,' he hardly ever went on any expeditions or did any kind of fighting. He relied on us to do all of that for 'im. You could say that he was quite cowardly." He stopped for another moment after that and looked up towards the sky, as if remembering something. The smug grin dropped from his face as he did. You just kept your mouth shut.

"He did go on some missions with us though, both in the real world and the dreamlands. He led us to tomb where his friend Harley Warren disappeared. We never did find him. And he also led us to that dilapidated old house on Meadow Hill where your great-grandfather met and killed that unnameable thing he saw. Didn't put up much of a fight from what I understand. But like I said, he hardly ever went on missions with us and spent most of his time in the dreamlands. Over time, since he'd been helpin' us, your great-grandfather and he became close friends. Morgan found his information valuable and Lovecraft enjoyed his company. He didn't have many people he could really talk to in the real world, so your great-grandfather helped him deal with a lot of issues he was dealin with. Issues, he for obvious reasons, couldn't tell anyone else about. He also from what I understand, kept whinin' about how as he got older, and since he'd been helpin' us, he could no longer enter the dreamlands, which was a problem for him since he spent so much time there. Your great-grandfather however, managed to convince him that that was a good thing, and convinced him of real evil in the horrors that had taken up residence there. It was never originally their's you see. It was ours. They just came in and took it since we weren't fully aware of it." He paused for another moment after that.

"Anyway, after about twenty years of helpin' us, he disappeared. No warning, no note, no information on where he went, he just left. The only thing he took with 'im was an old family heirloom of his."

"The silver key?" you say before he can say anything else. You have no idea what compelled you to say that, but you did. The moment those words reached his ears, Silas looked back down at you, and the smug grin returned to his face.

"You're learnin'," he said, seeming satisfied. "As I was sayin'. The only thing he took with him when he left was his silver key. To this day, none of us know where he went or what he did, but less than a day after he had left, we noticed a change in the dreamlands. They were gone. Not only that, but the influence of the one all the old ones and peons served, the Outer God Azathoth, had diminished completely in both worlds. Given the circumstances, we believe that somehow, some way, he managed to successfully banish Azathoth from both worlds. How he did that is beyond any of us, but he did it. We know he did. Unfortunately, since he, in doin' so, destroyed the dreamlands as they were, we couldn't go back in there to search for 'im. That's okay though. Since then, the humans have subtly began to build new dreamlands free of the influence of the horrors of the old ones. Given that it's been 76 years and we still don't know what happened to 'im, he's most likely dead. If by some miracle of god he isn't, then he more than likely just wants to be left alone. Given all he did for us, the least we could do is grant him that request." He stopped there again as he looked off into the sky again, as if remembering a long lost friend.

Things remain silent between you for several moments. There are many, MANY things you want to say, but you're not even sure what you can say that won't cause this guy to flip out and kill you. Still, at least the obvious question has to be asked. Right as you open your mouth to speak though, he holds up his hand and stops you.

"I know what you're goin' to ask lad. If all that is true, then why and how do we have his writin's, why are they so popular today that everybody reads 'im. That's easy to answer," Silas says as he takes his hand down. "You see, Lovecraft, as you know, was a writer, and some of the things he wrote about were about us. He was fascinated by the things he heard from Morgan, Peaslee, Wilmarth, and of course, Francis Wayland Thurston, and wrote them down in a private journal of his. He thought these stories we so good that he wanted to try to publish them in pulp magazines. This, was an issue with us for a while, for obvious reasons, but the more Morgan, Rice and the others thought about it, the more they realized that, this was exactly what they needed. People needed to know about us and what we did, but they would naturally be terrified if they knew it all was real, so if they believed it wasn't, then well, that solved that issue. So they let Lovecraft try to publish some of the stories he'd written down, the ones they allowed him too of course. However, hardly any of 'em were taken and those that were, weren't that well read or received by others. For us, this was okay though, since it meant that we still got to work in secrecy. However, Lovecraft had another friend. A fellow writer named August Derleth. After the incident in which Lovecraft disappeared, his journal and stories were left with Derlth, and, in honor of his friend, he published the stories himself, and wouldn't you know it, people just couldn't get enough of 'em." He paused for a moment to look right at you, then he stepped closer. Just a bit closer, and leaned in closer to your face. You could practically smell the cigarette smoke from earlier on him.

"Don't you see lad," he continued. "The reason you all know about Lovecraft and the horrors is because we allowed it. So that you could know all about what was at our doorstep so that if the time came, when they returned, you would know what to expect and hopefully, how to deal with it. We let you believe they're just works of fiction so that you can sleep tight in your cozy little bed without the knowledge that just right outside our planet, something is waitin' to devour you and your soul for a snack. Do you get it now lad?" You don't respond. In fact, you don't say anything. After a few moments, Silas back away from you back to where he was before. He didn't say anything either, he was just waiting for you. You knew it, and really, that was it for you.

"Why should I believe any of this?" you ask him, feeling a little bit more confidant now. "How do I know that you aren't insane out of your goddamn mind!?" You regret doing that almost immediately after the words leave your mouth as you watch the expression on Silas' face turn from his normal smug grin to one that was pretty much the epitome of 'I will end you right now.'

"When I was twelve," he began. "I watched as twenty men, friends and family alike, were torn apart from me. Two years later, I watched a f*ckin' shoggoth walk through a dimensional gate for three seconds and my hair became the color it is now. And I have spent more than my share of time searchin' what's left of the dreamlands for any kind of scrap about your granddad."

"What...?" You say as you feel the gut wrenching terror you were feeling before returning with a vengeance.

"Look, I'll make this simple for you," Silas says, his new expression unchanging. "Your great-granddad was named Francis Morgan right?"

"Yes," you answer him, feeling it's best to just play along now. Lest things go terribly, terribly wrong.

"And what was it he taught at university?"

"Archaeology."

"Just like-"

"The one from the story," you say before he can finish, though again, you kind of regret going that. He looks even more pissed now.

"And your great granddad went to a town not on a map. Just like-"

"The one from the story," you say again, though you can't for the life of you imagine why you did. "You're saying that The Dunwich Horror really happened?" You say again, feeling a sudden boost of confidence that wasn't there before. "And that my great-grandfather actually did those things. Is that what you are getting at!?" You scream at him.

"Yes," Silas replies, the look on his face now screaming 'enough of this shit', "And more."

"More?" you can't help but say.

"Your great-granddad fought and organized groups the same race of things that old Wizard and his half-breed freak of a grandkid tried to bring through." He replies.

"And those are the Sons of Dunwich?" you say to him.

"Yes," is all he replies. For a long while between the two of you, there is silence. Despite that though, the tension in the air is so thick you could cut it with a knife. Your heart is beating so fast it feels like it's gonna explode in your chest, and the look Silas is giving you is, even though you don't want to admit it, scaring you.

After what seems like an eternity though, you take a few deep breaths and calm yourself down. Silas doesn't move or as far as you can tell, even breathe. Not that it matters. With that done, your clear your head again and try to take in everything that he just said. Even though, you find it rather difficult. There is still however, one question.

"All right," you say when you find the courage to speak again. This time however, you're not going to go overboard. "What do I have to do with this? I mean yeah, I'm his great grandson. So what?" At that, you watch Silas let out a loud sigh and look off to the side. The expression on his face is no longer angry, it's one you can't place.

"Well," he began. "In the mid 60's, long after Rice died. Your great-granddad left with professor William Dyer for Antarctica chasin' down the last of the old creatures we were fighting, but he wasn't the easiest one to deal with either." He stops for a moment at that to let out another loud sigh. "He was an Outer God, the last one left on this side of the gateway. He had many names, The Black Pharaoh, the God of a Thousand Forms, The Crawling Chaos, The Man in Black, but we preferred to call him by his true name." With that, he turns back to look at you. "Nyarlathotep." Somehow, and you can't explain it. Just hearing that name give you the biggest chill you've ever felt in your life. "And your great-granddad meant to banish him to the howlin' abyss where-"

"Banish?" you say. You had to stop him right there, something wasn't right, and that was saying something. "I thought you said you killed them?" Silas said nothing to you at first, though the expression on his face suddenly became serious again.

"Kill them? No lad. You can't kill them," he says. "Cult of followers, deep ones, mortal servants, we killed plenty of these sure, but the Great Old Ones, they're immortal lad. They're from a plane of existence we can't even begin to imagine lad. The mere concept of mortality is a joke to them. They are immortal, omnipotent, and omnipresent, so they best we could figure out how to do is send them to some place where they can't just will themselves back from. It took Morgan and Rice forever to figure it out, but eventually they did. Some of the members call the void, others call it limbo, but the most common name we have for it is The Howlin' Abyss. We sent them there, and as far as we know, they haven't been able to find a way to break out again. The Great Old Ones are the stuff of nightmares lad, and Nyarlathotep is an Outer God, to them to Great Old Ones are pawns, servants, expendable assets, insects, what we were to them. I want you to get that through your head so that you have an idea of what your great-granddad was goin' up against." he paused for another moment, seemingly to let you take that all in. You don't say a word. "So your great-granddad went to Antarctica to confront and hopefully banish him once and for all. They made landfall. However, when Francis confronted the bastard, somethin' happened and the two of them vanished, and we've not seen or heard from either of 'em since." That one... that one honestly struck you like a ton of bricks. You had to speak again.

"What... then what's in his grave?" you have to ask.

"Nothin'" Silas replies. "Just a tombstone." You can't believe it. You've been to your great-grandfather's grave. You've seen it. How can nothing be there? As much as you want to know about that though, something else is still pressing on your mind.

"Okay..." you say, trying to buy that. "You still haven't answered my question though. What the f*ck does this have to do with me?"

"Bloodline," is all he replies. "Since you share his blood, you can help us complete his final work."

"Which is?" you ask, though you have a feeling you already know what the answer is.

"Look," he begins. "We know that something must have happened to Francis on the ice, and that means his work is unfinished. We need you to close the gate for good and finally banish that Elder son of a bitch to the never from whence he came." Okay, that was it for you.

"WHAT!?" you screamed. You couldn't help but scream at that. "Okay, even if I wanted to, what makes you think I even could do anything like that!?" you yell in his face.

"Can you read Latin?" he asks.

"Y..." you're about to answer, but you pause for a moment. Yeah, you studied Latin in school, but you're not sure if you should tell him or not, but then again, keeping it from him probably does not seem like the best option now. "Yes."

"Can you speak it?" he asks. That one, admittedly, was a bit more difficult for you to answer.

"Yes," you say after what seems like several minutes.

"Good enough," Silas says before he reaches into his coat pocket, pulls out a ratty looking journal and then shoves it right in your chest. You grab it just as he pulls his hand away. You can practically feel it mold onto you in your hand. "Start reading," he says as he turns around and starts walking back towards the cabin. "It's going to be a long boat ride."

"What if I refuse?" you ask before he's even halfway there. The moment those words reach his ears, he stops and answers "I slit yer throat, tie a cinderblock to both yer legs and throw ya' overboard like nothin' happened at all." And now, when those words hit your ears, the the terror you were feeling before is nothing compared to what you are feeling now. You feel like you might just pass out here, maybe jump over the edge and try to make a break for it, but... for some reason, you couldn't help but laugh.

"You... you'd really kill me?" you say to him. "You'd really kill Francis Morgan's great-grandson?" That was it right there, it made no sense to you. He told you who he was, who they were, and why they thought you were important, and you definitely are Francis Morgan's great-grandson, there's no doubt about that, and they know it. So how can he kill you so easily? Silas just stays where he is for several moments with back to you. When those moments are up however, he turns around and walks back towards you like he's about to punch you through the floor. You back up against the railing of the boat as he gets closer, but he just keeps coming, and stops right as he gets within an inch of your face.

"Let me make one thing perfectly clear to ya lad," he says. "The difference between the two of you is this." At that, he stops for a moment and takes in a deep breath. "YOU'RE NOT HIM!" He yelled at you so loud that the sound of his voice alone threatened to knock you over the edge of the boat. "SO WE COULD GIVE LESS OF A F*CK ABOUT YOUR ASS! YOU GOT THAT!?" He doesn't even give you a moment to respond. "Good." With that, he turns around and storms back towards the cabin, upon which he walks around it, into the shadows and disappears.

You just stand there for several minutes before you fall to your knees and lean back against the edge of the boat again.

That was it. That was what happened the last night you spent on earth before you woke up in Equestria. You never did help them finish your great-grandfather's work. You never even got to read that ratty old journal because the moment you went to sleep, Twilight had seemingly teleported you to Equestria.

That was it.

Meanwhile, in space (Side Story)

-Side Story-

-The Everfree Forest-

Outside Zecora's Hut

*Kirk, Spock, McCoy, and Gordon Freebrony are all sitting around a fire that's close enough to Zecora's hut for them to feel safe, but far enough away so that it's in no danger of burning it down. Even though it's getting late, none of them can bring themselves to sleep just yet. Kirk still looks pissed as all hell for whatever reason and he can't take his eyes off of Gordon Freebrony, who is sitting directly across from him looking down at the fire.*

Kirk: Okay, I think I've waited long enough.

*Kirk pulls out his phaser and points it at Gordon Freebrony, who looks up from the fire at him. McCoy jumps a bit at this and Spock just turns his head.

McCoy: Jim, what are you doing?

K: Relax, Bones, it's on stun.

Spock: Captain, might I-

K: Not now Spock. We're long overdue for answers and I think it's about time Mr. Freebrony here gave us them.

Gordon Freebrony: *nervous* I... I've told you everything.

K: I don't think you have.

M: Jim-

K: Shut up Bones. *looks back at GF* First the manticore, then Zecora, the library, the scream. It seems like you know about what's here before we do.

GF: I...

K: No more beating around the bush *raises his arm* I want you to tell me the truth this time. Where are you from? How did you know about this place? How did you know how to get us here? How did know about the things on this planet?

S: ....

M: ....

GF: ....

*Sudden look of realization hit's Kirk's face.

K: You've been here before, haven't you?

*Gordon just stares back at him. In the window of the hut, Zecora is just barely peeking out of one of her windows so they don't see her watching them. She sees all of this.*

-The Enterprise-

The Bridge

*Scotty walked back on to the bridge, wiping the slightly grease-stained hands on his pants.*

Scotty: Assuming command. Sulu return to your post. Our sensors and equipment should be fixed now. That EM field was a right pain to deal with.

*The bridge crew was running scans of the planet. An alert comes up.*

Chekov: SIR! A nuclear blast has been detected. It's... sir, they've detonated a bomb, sir!

S: That's not possible. They should be lightyears away from that level of tech, and the data the Daleks gave us says that there would never be a need for such weapons here.

C: Sir, scans indicate at least one more operational device, and tons of radiation too. We won't be able to beam it through all of that. I can barely get a fix on it.

S: Get me a line to the Allies, including the AIA. I want a group conference on screen. And inform the ca-

*Gets cut off by the sounds of very loud static as all of the monitors in the ship go haywire.*

S: Mother of god....

-The Dalek Flagship, The Caesar-

*The Hacking AI and NANA are still playing Starcraft 2, all the hackers, Registered Anonymous, BRP, Swimming Dalek and Grey Rebl are all watching when suddenly lights start flashing and an alarm goes off as the entire ship gets put on alert. One lone Dalek goes up to Swimming Dalek.*

Dalek 1: Commander, immense levels of radiation detected on the planet's surface. Scans indicate that a nuclear device has been detonated.

Swimming Dalek: WHAT!?

BRP: WHAT!?

Registered Anonymous: WHAT!?

Hacker 1: WHAT!?

All the other hackers: WHAT!?

Hacking AI: WHAT!?

Nana: What?

Grey Rebl: What?

*Starcraft immediately stops as the screens return to their normal functions. The Hacking AI and Nana work like mad to analyze the new data they are receiving while all the hackers get back to work.*

Hacking AI: Analyzing... It's confirmed. An atomic bomb has been detonated on Equis!

BRP: *adjusts his wrist armor a little bit* Time to get back to Equis.

RA: *Punches one fist into the other and cracks his neck* Seconded!

Grey Rebl: What's going on up there!?

Nana: I do not understand these readings I am getting? What is-

*Suddenly, Nana's voice gets cut off by the sound of incredibly loud static as all of the computer screens go haywire and static appears on all of them.*

GR: I didn't get that. Repeat! What is going-

*Grey Rebl's video feed gets cut off completely as all the computer monitors in the room go completely static. All they are showing is static.*

*Suddenly, the static stops and this image appears on all the screens.*

*Stares at them for a few moments, everyone stares back. Suddenly, a deep, demonic sounding voice comes out of nowhere.*

???: ŚHU̵T IT ̶DO̸WN͟!̛ ŞH́U̷T͘ ̶IT͝ ̴D̵O̶WN̵ ͝FO͠REVER̷!!̴!

*Suddenly, every computer screen goes black as the entire ship shuts down. All the computers, all the devices, all the weapons, everything gets shut down. Not only that, but the Enterprise gets shut down too as well as every single Dalek and Orz ship in space. Every single ship orbiting the planet Equis is now shut down completely. They are all just floating in space.*

SD: Well fuck me Ray Bradbury.

Wake up. Time to play again.

Wake up. Time to play again.

Perspective Shift:

Jason Morgan

You opened your eyes to see.... green.

Your vision was blurry as all hell, but you could tell it was green. Green like the grass.... grass in a long open field stretching out for miles, with nothing but the fresh air and wind in your face... So peaceful. You blink a few times to clear your vision, so hopefully you can that the sky above is...... there is no sky.

There's just green.

Suddenly, your eyes shoot open as you realize just where in the hell you are. You sit up as quickly as you can, but as you do, a sudden pain shoots through your right shoulder. Instinctively, you grab your shoulder with your left hand, only look at it and notice that your shoulder is covered in bandages, as is most of right arm. You can swear you felt yourself stop functioning for a second as you noticed that.

With that image burned into your eyes, you can't help but look down at the rest of yourself. You're in a hospital bed, and the rest of you is covered in a lot of bandages as well. There's bandages around your ribs, you can feel some on your back, and if you removed the blanket, you'd probably notice some on your legs as well. In fact, you know you are there cause you can feel them too. Your left arm however, didn't have any bandages on it, save for a few minor ones on your upper and forearm, but that was it.

The only thing that keeps you from passing back out into the bed is the searing pain that's running through your shoulder, you almost have to bite your tongue to keep yourself from screaming. Your eyes dart from your shoulder again, to the bed, to the rest of you, and then to your right, where you see the window.

Outside it's night. You can't really tell what time it is, and there isn't a clock in the room to tell you for sure, but you're guessing that it's late. Probably around three or four in the morning. Before your mind can drift any further onto that subject, the searing pain in your shoulder brings your mind out of it as you grab it again and look down towards the bed again as you close your eyes and groan loudly in pain. All kind's of questions run through your mind, namely, how the hell did you end up here? What happened?

The moment you mentally ask that question though, your eyes snap back open as the events of the previous day play all over again in your head. Going with Applejack's little sister and her friends to cut down a tree, the clown... pony... no, no that wasn't a pony. The clown thing, it nearly killed you. It would have killed you if not for the hind, the hind and.... your great grandfather. Your great grandfather saved your life, and you saved in turn when you spoke the words and knocked the clown thing back when it showed it's true form... You knocked it back... you spoke Latin... and you knocked it back...

Was that insane son of a b*tch on the boat right?

"You shouldn't move around so much," you heard a voice you didn't recognize at all say to you. You look directly ahead of you towards the door. Given the situation, you expect to see a doctor, but instead, what you see is so impossible that every cell that you have in your brain is fighting it's existence. You can't move, you can't even blink. Leaning against the wall to the right of where the door is, is another human.

He wasn't much older than you, in fact, he might have been the same age. He had shoulder length, slightly messed up brown hair, and wore an anarchy t-shirt where the "A" was on fire and green cargo pants that had chains hanging on both sides as well as a pair of black tennis shoes.

Your eyes, your brain, and even your pancreas kept fighting to deny his presence right in front of you, but he was there, he wasn't going away, and he wasn't looking away from you. Still, he couldn't be there. There weren't any other humans in Equestria, they're all gone. Celestia told you herself. There aren't any humans except for you, and.... your... great grandfather.... and....

Slowly, you reach out your left hand towards him. You're about to say something when he holds up a hand to stop you.

"Don't talk, you've taken quite a beating," he said as he got up off the wall and started walking towards you. "Just lay back and relax. I'll make the pain go away." You want to say something, you want to respond, but you can't bring yourself to say anything, you don't even move. Suddenly, as if it was never even there, the pain in your arm suddenly goes away. For whatever reason, and you can't explain for the life of you why, you feel your body go limp as you fall back against your pillow. The other human walks right up to right as this happens.

You reach up for him with your left hand, but he just pushes it back down.

"Easy, easy," he says, with a smile. "You just went two and a half rounds with a ponified Pennywise the Clown. You're gonna need to take it easy for a bit. Not that many mortals outside of Gary Stu's can walk away from a fight like that." You're not sure why, you have no idea who this person is, but hearing his works makes you feel a little bit better. "Yeah, I have that effect." He says, wait, did he just read your thoughts? How, you want to ask but "In a way, I sort of am reading your thoughts. I put your thoughts onto the page." He suddenly says. You want to act on that, you want to say something and question him on how he's able to do that, but you can't, honest to god, think of anything to say. The only thing you can do now is just lay against your bed. You've honestly never felt more relaxed.

Still, who is this person? Why is he here? How-

"I know you want to ask me who I am," he says before you can finish with that thought. "Who I am isn't really important. Just know that I'm looking out for you." He says as he pulls back away from you and stands up straight. "As for why I'm here. Well, honestly, it's cause things are going to get a lot more difficult for you from here on out. Trust me, what you've gone through so far isn't going to amount to dust compared to what's coming." You know you should be worried about that, but for whatever reason, you aren't.

"You see," he says as he takes a step away from the bed and starts walking towards the front. "When I started this, it was honestly just in good fun. You know, write something, see what happens, maybe get a few laughs, and wouldn't you know it, things went pretty well. I never dreamed I'd get what I got for it." You really have no idea what he's talking about, but you can't help but listen. "Unfortunately," he says as he reaches the end of your bed and leans against it with his back facing you. "Something happened somewhere down the line. I let someone else in, I let him in cause I wanted his help, and I knew he'd be able to because he's just as good at what I do as I am, but because of him, this story has gone down a road I didn't think it would, and now the products of his imagination are out there planning to kill you in ways even I can't come up with. When we first started cooperating, we talked to each other all the time, we knew what each other was doing, but now he's acting on his own, and just recently, he's taken it upon himself to start helping his own creations directly. He's given then something they never should have been allowed to have. It was a rule. We never break the boundaries of the fourth wall, the space between us and what happens in here, while it is ours to mess with, there cannot be any direct interference, but now, he's broken that rule." He paused for a quick moment after that as he looks up towards the ceiling.

"What he doesn't realize however, is that I am not above breaking the rules myself if it comes to that," he says as he turns back around to face you. The expression on his face seems rather pleasant. "I am looking out for your well being, believe me I am, but I'm just afraid that what he's doing is going to make my job a lot more difficult than it already is. I still can't help you directly, I can't be a part of the story that I'm writing, but I will show up when I need to if something goes wrong. You are the main character of this story Jason, there are a lot of people out there who want you to succeed, and I know that you will." You can't help but stare back at him. You don't say anything. You really have no idea what he is talking about at all, but for whatever reason, hearing it, just made you feel a little bit better, like you're talking to god.

"Well, I guess that is pretty much what I am in the grand scheme of things," he says, as if finishing that thought for you. Yeah, this guy definitely can read your mind. "Well, I gotta get going," he says to you as he turns back around and starts walking towards the door. "When you wake up again, it'll be daytime and all your friends will be there, I hope you know what to do then, or at least, I hope the people reading this will know what to do then." Again, what is he going on about? "Oh, and you won't remember this conversation, so don't bother trying."

Right as he reaches the door however, he stops right as he opens it and looks back at you. The light from the hallway is shining in.

"Oh, by the way," he says, and then snaps his fingers.

Suddenly, something clicks in your head.

Character slot 1: Empty

Character slot 2: Empty

Character slot 3: Empty

Special Ability: Morgan Bloodline

"For your trouble," he says as he walks out the door and closes it behind him. You just keep your eyes on the door for several moments, you wonder who that guy was, but then you slowly feel those thoughts drifting away from you as your eyelids get heavy, and you fall back... to... sleep....

-Some Time Later-

You opened your eyes to see. Green.

Then suddenly a bunch of other colors started to come into view. A slightly different shade of green, white, orange, blue, yellow, another white, and... pink.

You can't see clearly at all, your vision is incredibly blurry. You feel like you've been out for two months.

Suddenly you hear something. It sounds far away, like at the other end of a tunnel. You can't make out what it's saying at all, but then suddenly it comes closer. It comes closer as you blink to clear up your vision a little.

"Is he gonna be okay? Is he gonna be okay? Is he gonna be okay?" you hear what you guess is the green one asking ad nauseam. She sounds worried as all hell.

"Look, look! He's coming to!" You hear someone else shout, it's so much clearer now, it sounds like.... like... Applejack.

That's when you close your eyes for a moment and open you again. You're in a hospital bed, and surrounding you are your friends Lyra, Bon Bon, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and even, to your spires, Spike, the dragon from Twilight's library. They all have incredibly worried looks on their faces.

"Jason..." Lyra says as she leans in a bit closer.

What do you do?

(Now would be a good time to pick new characters to channel. Remember, switching out characters for character channeling requires multiple votes for the same person in the form of multiple comments suggesting this person or upvotes for the comment that suggested this person to take effect.)

-Special-

Thank you all so much for bearing with me and giving me time to get over everything that was happening in my life. Things have been getting better. You have all been very patient, and now I think it's about time that your patience has been rewarded.

I have the best fans in the world. I know not a lot of people would have understood if someone had to take time off for inexplicable reasons, but you all did.

Thank you. Thank you so much.

Words cannot describe what I am feeling right now. Thank you.

It's good to be back.

Author's Note

Status (for all five chapters): edited.

Hurts.... To.... Talk

Channel your inner Old Man Henderson, he's used to all this Lovecraftian stuff.

Character Slot 2: Old Man Henderson, and become convinced that Pennywise stole your lawn gnomes. (We want to break the villain author's game, who better against Nyarlothepe than the only character ever to WIN a Call of Cthulu game?)

-Meanwhile, in a parallel universe-

Meanwhile at Old Man Henderson's House

*knock* *knock*

OMH: *answers door* DID YOU STEAL MY LAWN GNOMES!?

Pony withdraws a tranquilizer gun and fires seven shots into the old man

*dials cell phone*

Roseluck: The deed is done. The Old Man's out like a light. What should I do next?
Daedaltheus XIV: Burn the body.
Roseluck: WHAT?!
DXIV: He's dead, right?
Roseluck: These are tranquilizers, aren't they?
DXIV: Yes, made from a highly toxic venom that kills the host upon impact, and you just filled him with seven, right.
Roseluck: Yes.
DXIV: Whelp, he's super dead now, which reminds me, now that he's dead, read the encant so that his soul shall speak no more.
Roseluck: Understood. Non ut vivat anima adolebit (Burn the soul so that it shall live no more). Done.
DXIV: Good now dispose of the the body.

FIVE MINUTES LATER...

Roseluck: *pours gasoline around OMH's house and front yard, leaving the cans where they fall after they are empty* *walks over to the front door and strikes a match* I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE AND I BRING YOU! *throws match* FIRE!

THE NEXT DAY...

News Anchor: A freak multi-house fire broke out on fifth street today, of which fire marshals are declaring to have started at old man Henderson's house. The culprit is remains at large and is believed to be dangerous. Sources state they heard a voice singing the Arthur Brown song Fire before the fire spread to the neighboring homes.

"DING DONG!!!" The sound echoed for what must have been the twelfth time through Old Man Henderson's house as he finally walked over and answered the door. On the other side was..... a creme colored pony with green eyes and a red mane and tail. She was also wearing a belt for some odd reason.

"EWE BE KEEPIN' ME WEE MEN!?!?" Old Man Henderson screamed at the top of his lungs the moment he saw the pony. The pony didn't respond. Instead, it pulled out what looked like a modified Colt .45 and fired seven darts into his chest. Afterwards, she put her gun away and promptly pulled out a cell phone from her pocket.

"The deed is done," Roseluck said into it. "The old man's out like a light. What should I do next?"

"Burn the body," Daedaltheus said at the other end of the line.

"WHAT!?" Roseluck couldn't help but scream aloud as she almost dropped the phone. "These are just tranquilizers, aren't they?" She asked, suddenly worried.

"Yes," Daedaltheus responded. "Made from a highly toxic venom that kills the host upon impact." And suddenly, Roseluck felt her eye's shrink into pinpricks. "And you just filled him with seven, right?"

"Yes," Roseluck answered in a weak voice.

"Whelp, he's super dead now," Daedaltheus responded. "Which reminds me. Now that he's dead. Read the encant so that his soul will speak no more." Roseluck just let out a loud sigh at that.

"Understood," she said before she put the phone down on the ground in front of her before she turned around and started ruffling through her pockets again. Eventually, she found what she was looking for, a folded up piece of paper, which she unfolded and held in front of her as she turned around to face the sleeping Old Man Henderson again. "Non ut vivat anima adolebit," she spoke aloud as she read the paper. Once she was done, she looked back up at the sleeping Old Man Henderson..... and nothing happened. That was okay though. From what she was told, she shouldn't have been able to actually see this part happening. With that done though, she folded up the piece of paper and put it back in her pocket as she picked the phone back up. "Done," she said into it.

"Good," Daedaltheus responded to her. "Now dispose of the body."

Five Minutes Later

Roseluck had just finished pouring out containers of gasoline around Old Man Henderson's house and front yard, leaving the containers where they fell after they were empty. After she was done, she walked back around to the front of the house and struck a match, which she looked at for a moment, then back down at the body of Old Man Henderson, then back at the match. As she stared at it, a smile started to stretch across her face.

"I am the god of hellfire," Roseluck began to sing. "And I bring you." And at that, she threw the match into the house. "FIRE!!!"

The Next Day

On a local newstation, footage of a local neighborhood on fire was shown before it cut back to a newswoman in the studio.

"A freak multi-house fire broke out on fifth street today," The newswoman spoke. "Of which fire marshals are declaring to have started at the home of a man the local residents call "Old Man Henderson." The culprit remains at large and is believed to be dangerous. Sources state they heard a female voice singing the Arthur Brown song Fire before the fire spread to the neighboring homes."

-Meanwhile, in this story's universe-

Channel King Arthur so you can go get Excalibur

and King Arthur because that's the next thing your injury-addled brain thought of.

Channel king arther

channel : king arthur

After what that clown did to you, you really want a better weapon to go along with your awesome latin powers, Excalibur could come in handy later, Channel King Arthur or his ancestor the Gunslinger Roland Deschain which will help in fighting the Man in Black.

Character slot 1: King Arthur

As you come to the first thing you notice is that your character channeling slots have been wiped clean. Probably because you were defeated or because you went to sleep, or something in between those two. Then again, you've slept before and you kept your characters, so more than likely they got wiped because you got your ass handed to you.

In any case however, the first thing you decide to do now that you're awake again is to set that back, especially now that you have three character slots instead of two. How you got the third character slot is still a mystery to you though.

Anyway, first and foremost, you decide to put King Arthur back in your first slot. After what that clown thing did to you.... Odin and Zeus just thinking about him brings back all the memories of what happened yesterday (or was it yesterday?). You were almost certain that you were gonna die. But yeah, after what happened, you kind of want a better weapon, especially now since you've unlocked your Morgan Bloodline ability.

Even though you know that you probably won't get Excalibur until much later, if at all, it could come in handy when you do get it. Especially considering who you're dealing with. You're not entirely sure if it will work or if you'll get it at this point, but hey, it never hurts to be prepared.

Character slot 1: King Arthur

Channel Batman for his detective skills and combat based awesome

Batman, because he's Sherlock with combat knowledge.

You need analytic as well as combat skills, Channel the Batman.

Batman for his intellect and strategic fighting style

Channel Batman. Because he's a genius detective, a genius fighter, and a genius genius.

Also batman

Next must come either Batman or Sherlock Holmes. Their crime fighting skills are superhuman

Batsy cause ... cause... aw fuck don't have a reason

Next, you put Batman back into your second character slot. Because he is the goddamn Batman, that reason kind of explains itself.

Character Slot 2: Batman

The Doctor. Because The Doctor.

You are also hurt and wanting revenge, these monsters will know your fury, and what is greater than the fury of a Timelord? Channel the Doctor

I also recommend channeling The Doctor. Because, more than ever before, you are going to NEED someone who is used to dealing with the supernatural and all-powerful.

Batsy cause ... cause... aw fuck don't have a reason

The Doctor can figure out anything through chaotic thought functions and unreal instincts, as well as worm his way out of any battle unharmed, well, nine times out of ten.

And finally, in your third character slot, you put The Doctor. It only just occurs to you now just how popular this combination of characters seems to be for you. You're not sure why, but it is.

You may not have The Doctor's intellect or know everything he knows, but you do have his quick thinking, problem solving skills, and his ability to deal with all kinds of otherworldly things, which you think is going to be a lot more useful given what just happened.

Also since you're not specific on which Doctor you're channeling, then by default you get the most recent Doctor, which has the combined memories and experiences of all of them, which is your best bet in any case you think.

Character Slot 3: The Doctor

Although, you've never been actually able to get these characters abilities in any way. Again, character channeling doesn't give you the character's powers or abilities (which is why you've never channeled the Dovakin), what it does is allow you to think and react to situations like they would for quick reference. However, with the recent addition of your Morgan Bloodline ability, from what you understand of it and how it works, it can make anything happen. So if you're channeling these specific characters and you have this ability.....

You'll have to experiment with this later when you get out of here.

OH RIGHT HOW COULD THAT HAVE SLIPPED YOUR MIND!!! ALL YOUR FRIENDS (well, pony friends) ARE HERE AND YOU'VE BEEN IGNORING THEM IN FAVOR OF DOING THIS!!!

Granted it needed to be done but STILL!!!!

But yeah, what you have now is.

Character slot 1: King Arthur

Character slot 2: Batman

Character slot 3: The Doctor

Special Ability: Morgan Bloodline

But yeah, all your pony friends are all standing there staring at you. You can't even imagine how worried they must be. You need to say something.

First off... see if you can say hey back to them, then check for signs of damage.

"Hey...." is all you can manage to say to them. Your voice comes out kind of weak, and it sounds a bit raspy. It only just occurs to you now just how god damned thirsty you are. When was the last time you had a drink of water.

The moment those words leave your mouth though, your eyes turn to Lyra as she sniffles a little bit. You then see a tear fall from her left eye, and at that, you see something break within her.

Without warning, she leaps forward, throws both her hooves around your neck and hugs you tight.

"OH THANK CELESTIA, THANK LUNA, THANK THE ELEMENTS OF HARMONY, THANK CAEDENCE, THANK EVERYTHING!" Lyra says as she squeezes your neck and cries into your shoulder. "I WAS SO INCREDIBLY WORRIED ABOUT YOU!!!!"

You want to respond, really you do, but you don't have the breath for it. Really, you don't. She's hugging you tight.

"LYRA!" Bon Bon shouts as she and one of the nurses pull Lyra off of you. Reluctantly, she lets go. "Take it easy. He just woke up, remember." Bon Bon says to her while the nurse just throws a stern look at her.

"Sorry," Lyra says as she sniffles again and wipes the tears from her eyes. When she pulls her hoof away, you don't think you've ever seen her smile as big as that. "I'm sorry Jason."

action : groan and ask in a tired state "does anyone have"-insert coughing fit- "water?"

"It's all right," you say when you get your voice back. Instinctively, your left hand goes to your neck, and it's at that point that you notice that your right shoulder, as well as most of your left arm is covered in bandages. Your ribs are covered in bandages as well and you can feel some on your legs too. There are also quite a bit running up your chest, and there are some here and there. Surprisingly though your left hand is perfectly all right. Oh, and you are still dying of thirst. "C-" You cough for a little bit before you can speak again. "Can I have some water?"

The moment those words leave your mouth, the nurse makes a move towards the door, but Rainbow Dash beats her to the punch.

"I'll get some," she says as she flies right out the door faster than you could have asked that question. After she's gone the nurse leaves too, presumably to get the doctor.

A few moments later, Rainbow Dash returns with a glass of water in her hooves, which she slowly hands to you as she lands back on the ground.

You don't even waste a second to say thanks before you grab it and start drinking it.

Ah, feels good...:moustache:

Yeah, yeah it does feel good... You needed that.

You finish it within a moment.

"Please," you say, your voice still a little weak. "Can I have some more?" Rainbow Dash doesn't even wait for you to finish that sentence before she snags the cup from your hand and flies out of the room again.

A few moments later, she returns again, and again, you drink greedily.

PERSPECTIVE SHIFT:

Rarity

"IS HIS DICK OKAY!? IS HIS DICK OKAY!? IS HIS DICK OKAY!?" Echoed over and over again in the back of your mind.

Oh sure, you were worried as all Tartarus for Jason's well being, just as worried as all of your friends if not more. You'd be worried if any of your friends ended up like he did, but you couldn't help it. It's a curse you have to deal with.

With him (and all your friends) momentarily distracted by the water, you look down towards his crotch. With a quick application of your "dick check" spell. You see if it's okay.

It's one of the most practical and useful spells in your limited array of magic (you're not going to kid yourself, you're no Twilight Sparkle), it's helped you out quite a bit in your infinite quest for potential suitors. It works kind of like X-ray vision, only specific to just dicks. It's also the reason that you have yet another reason to NEVER have anything to do with Prince Blueblood ever again.

How you came to acquire the knowledge of his spell is well.... A lady has to have a few secrets now don't they?

But yes, one quick application of the dick check spell and.....

"YES!!!"

You scream out in the back of your head. Now that that's out of the way, onto more important matters.

PERSPECTIVE SHIFT:

Jason Morgan

You have woken up in pain after brushing within a nanometer of Death. Be the zombie you are and groan. For food. Meat. You need to eat. Flesh. Animal FLesh. Steak! BACON YOU NEED BACON! BACON STRIPS AND BACON STRIPS AND BACON STRIPS

Anyways, try to stand up.

There, you feel much better now. With that out of the way, you groan loudly a you try to move around and try to sit up a bit, though you find it difficult with all the bandages, so you just decide to lay there for now. Surprisingly though, you don't feel any pain. You either must have healed well already or the bandages are keeping your wounds so tight you can't feel anything. God, you could use some meat right now, and some bacon... You just woke up after almost meeting Death and saying "Hi, lets go," just a moment ago. You're kind of hungry.

You're not about to ask any of them for food though.

2 - Ask how long you were out.

"How long was I out?" you ask them after you groan loudly some more.

"Almost 24 hours," Bon Bon responds. Admittedly, she looks less worried now. Still, you've been out for a whole day?

Jason: Ask what happened and otherwise get caught up on events.

Verify your situation, and whatever else is going on from everyone around you.

"What happened?" you ask them next.

"Applebloom and her friends found yah in the Everfree Forest right after you passed out," Applejack answered as she put a hoof around Applebloom. You didn't even notice she was there at first. Now that you notice, Big Mac is also here too, he's standing at the back of the room. "They carried yah back to tha farm in that wagon of theirs and when we saw yah we got you here as quickly as we could." She paused for a second to look at Applebloom for a moment. "Yer lucky she found yah when she did. You were-" She stopped right there again for a moment. "You were-" the words seemed caught in her throat. It was almost as if she couldn't say them.

"What happened?" Rainbow Dash suddenly asked before Applejack could finish. "How did you get like that?"

"Yeah," Bon Bon said as she stepped a bit closer. "What in Equestria did this to you?"

"Was it a manticore?" Lyra suddenly asked, now more worried.

"Or a timberwolf?" Applebloom then asked.

"Or... a dragon?" Fluttershy followed. She seemed more worried than the others.

After that, they all followed with question after question ranging from what happened, to what attacked you, to if you are all right.

You.... you....

With those channels in place, you tell your friends exactly what is up. You tell them about the clown, about the hind, about your Great Grandfather, and you tell them that if he is here, then something much worse than that clown is here as well. Don't let the nurses or doctors tell them you are delirious or hallucinating (Though Pinkie believes you immediately), show them a simple force push in Latin.

8 - tell them that things are not going to be well for a while. The reasoning for telling them that is you were attacked by a freaking clown pony that was part demon. Also tell them you have super powers now.

You want to tell them what happened, you want to tell them everything, you really do, but you're not sure how they would take it. Would they even believe you? You're not even sure anyone much less talking ponies would believe you if you told them what happened. So what do you even say to them?

They all lean in a bit closer, as if waiting for you to speak.

Anyways, now that you have magical Latin powers, salveō mē (I heal me.) Then say, in this manner:

Your mind instantly flashes back to yesterday as you reply it all again in your mind. More specifically though, you play back the moment when your great-grandfather, who by all accounts should be dead by now, dropped down from the hind helicopter and said those words in Latin to you. 'Signantes vulnera. Ut et a vulneribus tuis sanabo SUO quasi numquam omnino.' you think it was. It sounded like it had something to do with healing.

The thought occurred to you to try and heal yourself, but you guess he did it already. You would probably have bled out a long time ago if it wasn't for that.

Still.....

How do you even begin to explain what happened to all of them? What do you tell them?

What do you do?

-Side Story-

The Previous Night

-Appaloosa-

Grey Rebl's Office at the AIA headquarters

Grey Rebl, had only seen the image of Slendermane for a split second. The appearance of the blue screen of death on his screen was quick, but recognition was quicker. He remembered it all too well. He leaned back on his chair, his usual playful demeanor replaced with a distant, dark coldness. The weight and presence on his neck suddenly amplified one thousand fold. If anyone were there, his coat seem to turn into a darker shade.

GR: So he knew for quite a awhile now. *Sigh* I hope it's still enough, though. If he is making his move now, that means that Harmony in Equestria is about to lose its meaning with a bang. I better get my flank move'in.

And to his utter irony, it's happening too soon.

(As it happens)

-The Everfree Forest-

Outside Zecora's Hut

-On the surface-
GF: Alright! Fine. I've been here before.
Bones: His heartrate just jumped. He's lying.
*Kirk ran foreward and picked GF up by the neck, pinnign him to a tree and forcing his phaser into GF's stomach*
Spock: Captain....
Kirk: Stow it, Spock. I'm going as far as I need to get the truth.
GF: ALRIGHT! FINE! Fuck the world and this dimension. If it collapses, oh well. I'm from another dimension. I am a theoretical physicist from 2013 (A/N Yes, I know Half-life was based in 1998, but I had top change the date to make it make sense) Earth history. I was working on trans dimensional teleportation, and an accident flung me into your universe. I thought it was a dream come true! You see, in my dimension, you guys were apart of an entertainment show called 'Star Trek' which followed the Enterpirse on it's five-year mission exploring the stars, completely fictional. IT was broadcast to millions, Gene Roddenberry's fictional dream of the future. I know of the Gorn, the Tribbles, the Klingons! I know it all! As for this place, it's another show on the television, meant for small children, but the perfect world it represented, I just fell in love with it! Friendship was literally magic here, It was wonderful! Anyway, when I joined starfleet I used my knowledge to eventually work my way to your crew, hell, I even saw you in a couple of my classes. You even beat Spock's unbeatable test! It was amazing! And then I saw, or rather, felt that there was danger, and I felt compelled to bring us here! I had some inkling of where it was and what it was, but I wasn't certain. It's like there's this voice in my head making me do things and please don't kill me!!! *the amazingly long dialogue was cut off with a large gasp and then some cholign sobs. It was rather shocking to see GF of all people crying*
Bones: The detector's not giving me any off readings. He's... He's tellinh the truth.

*Kirk keeps his phaser on Gordon Freebrony, who doesn't speak for a few moments. Bones takes a moment to pull out his heartrate monitor. After taking a deep breath though, Gordon Freebrony finally talks.*

Gordon Freebrony: All right! Fine. I've been here before.

McCoy: His heartrate jumped. He's lying.

*Kirk shoots a phaser blast through the fire that hits the ground right next to Gordon Freebrony. Gordon jumps a bit at that, McCoy remains speechless, but Spock doesn't.*

Spock: Captain-

Kirk: Stow it Spock. I'm going as far as I need to to get the truth.

GF: All right fine! *whispers this to himself* Fuck the world and this dimension. If it collapses, oh well. *stops whispering* I'm from another dimension. I am a theoretical physicist from 2013, earth history. I was working on trans-dimensional teleportation, and an accident flung me into your universe. I thought it was a dream come true. You see, in my dimension, you guys were a part of an television show called 'Star Trek' which followed your starship, The Enterprise, on it's five-year mission exploring the stars, completely fictional. IT was broadcast to millions, Gene Roddenberry's fictional dream of the future. I know of the Gorn, the Tribbles, the Klingons. I know it all. As for this place, it's another show meant for small children, but the perfect world it represented, I just fell in love with it. Friendship was literally magic here, It was wonderful. Anyway, when I joined starfleet I used my knowledge to eventually work my way to your crew, hell, I even saw you in a couple of my classes. You even beat Spock's unbeatable test. It was amazing. And then I saw, or rather, felt that there was danger, and I felt compelled to bring us here.

*There is silence between all of them for a few moments. To the shock of all of them, they actually see a tear run down Gordon's face.*

M: The detector's not giving me any off readings. He's... He's tellinh the truth.

S: How? How can we-

GF: Quantum theory states that all things are possible. When combined with the theory of multiple dimensions and universes, it is possible that a universe where Gene Roddenberry's vision of the future actually did happen. *laughs a bit for a moment.* Hell, you know this better than anyone. You all live in a universe where a ship full of Romulans and an older version of you (points to Spock) came back from the future and created an alternate timeline, and by extension, an alternate universe where that happened. By extension, think of the universe they came from, where that didn't happen. History happened a different way, and because of that, certain things happened different than what you know, and thus, an alternate universe. To take this even further, because I'm here, there's probably now an alternate universe where I didn't join starfleet and you all are continuing your five year mission in space without my interference. Do you want a full lecture on the theory of the multiverse and how it works or is that good enough for you?

*Kirk, Spock, and McCoy are all absolutely dumbstruck by what they just heard. None of them can believe it. In the window of her hut, Zecora is still watching them. She's no doubt heard everything.*

The Present

-Ponyville-

The Ponyville train station

*Braeburn and Little Strongheart step off of the train from Appaloosa and into the Ponyville station, upon which Braeburn takes a huge breathe of fresh air.*

Braeburn: *Takes a deep breath* Ah, you feel that Little Strongheart. That's Ponyville air.

*Little Strongheart giggles at that a bit*

B: Why, Ah reckon I haven't been here since the last Apple family reunion. Sure hasn't changed much.

Little Strongheart: So, what do we do now?

B: Well, first thing we gottta do Ah reckon, is go see mah cousin, Applejack. We can stay at her place while we do what we gotta do. Don't worry, she'll have room for us.

LS: All right... lead the way.

B: *extends his hoof* After you.

LS: Thank you.

*Braeburn and Little Strongheart walk out of the train station and into Ponyville proper.*

Time unspecific (only temporary)

-The Enterprise-

The Bridge

Scotty: What the hell is going on! Get me emergency power! Are the coms still available?
Uhura: No, Sir. Comms are dead.
Random Ensign: life support offline!
(the following is a list of random voices that I won't bother naming)
"Turbo lifts are down"
"Main and Auxiliary power completely offline."
"Orbit is still stable, assuming no change in velocity"
"My stations dead!"
Sulu: Navigation is completely dead sir.
Scotty: I KNOW! EVERYONE SHUT IT! *silence* Right, you take a team and get down to the auxiliary generator. You start a security scan of the whole ship, manually. Sulu, take command I'm going to engineering. Red alert, tell the crew you see.
*A series of "Aye, Sirs" Rang through the bridge while the indicated crewmembers and scotty rushed over to the emergency hatch near the turbolifts and started the long climb to the rest of the ship*

(As it happens. Only this first part though, the rest of what happens on the ship does not apply)

-The Dalek Flagship, The Caesar-

The Control Room

*I step in front of a huge chamber, filled to the brim with Daleks, and I have a sadistic grin on my Multiform face* Change in plans, lads! WE! MOVE! NOW! Nyarlathotep's detonated an atomic weapon on Equis! He wants a fight, and he's going to f*cking get one!

R.A.: .......Uh hackers what did that demonic pony do to our ships?
Hacker 1: He uh or she well... deactivated them.
R.A.: Oh... I'M GONNA BREAK HIS LEGS OFF AND STICK THEM ON HIS HEAD THEN I'LL USE HIM AS A PINATA THEN I'LL SET HIM ON FIRE AND THROW HIM OFF A CLIFF! *pulls out his nine iron and begins advancing slowly towards the computers* I'LL RIP HIM OUT OF THE GOD DAMN COMPUTER IF I MUST!
*suddenly a dart hits him in the neck and he collapses in a heap*
R.A.: HEY! WHY CAN'T I MOVE!
Hacker 2: *holding a blow dart* Don't worry its only temporary paralysis, but we can't have you breaking all the computers. We'll try and get them up and running as fast as we can.
R.A.: GOOD! ...Uh can someone scratch my nose it itches.

*Everyone stands there completely gobsmacked. None of them expected that. The room is completely dark and all the computers are offline. Not a single electronic device is working. Swimming Dalek, in his human form, his right eye starts twitching.*

Registered Anongmous: Uh...... guys.... what did that demonic pony do to our ships?

Hacker 1: Well, apparently he.... it. Deactivated them.

RA: All of them?

H1: Looks like it.

*SD's eye starts twitching even more.*

RA: Oh........ Oahhh...... I'M GONNA BREAK HIS LEGS OFF AND STICK THEM ON HIS HEAD THEN I'LL USE HIM AS A PINATA THEN I'LL SET HIM ON FIRE AND THROW HIM OFF A CLIFF! *pulls out his nine iron and begins advancing slowly towards the computers* I'LL RIP HIM OUT OF THE GOD DAMN COMPUTER IF I MUST!

*sudden poison dark comes of nowhere and hits RA in the neck. Upon which, he collapses to the floor instantly.*

RA: Why..... can't..... I.... move....?

*Hacker 2 steps forward holding a recently used blowgun*

Hacker 2: Don't worry its only temporary paralysis, but we can't have you breaking all the computers. Not right-

Swimming Dalek: *is f*cking pissed now* OH THAT IS IT! ANTARES!!!

Antares: Commander.

SD: Change in plans, lads! That son of a b*tch, Nyarlathotep's detonated an atomic weapon on Equis! He wants a fight, and he's going to f*cking get one! WE! MOVE! NOW!

*Second Dalek who was at one of the computers in the room comes up*

Computer Dalek: Commander, all systems are down. Our ship has been completely deactivated and we are floating adrift in space. As we are. We cannot deploy even if we wanted to.

SD: GRRRRRRRR!!!! Then get it fixed damn it! We're not gonna do any f*ckin good just sittin-

BRP: Dude, calm the fuck down.

SD: DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN YOU PRICK! THAT MOTHERF*CKER JUST DEACTIVATED MY SHIPS! HE JUST CRIPPLED MY FLEET! MY ENTIRE DALEK ARMY IS-

BRP: Yeah, I know, I'm on one of your ships.

SD: WHO ARE YOU TO TALK ANYWAY! YOU JUST GOT HERE A LITTLE WHILE AGO! WE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHO YOU WERE UNITL A FEW HOURS AGO!!!

RA: I think he's a pretty cool guy.

SD: SHUT UP, RA!

BRP: Dude, just calm, the f*ck, down. We're not gonna do anything if you're just going to stand there raving like a f*ckin psycho.

SD: *gets in BRP's face* What did you just call me?

BRP: You can still hear can't you?

SD: *hand slowly starts to move towards gun* You know... I bet-

*One of the hackers suddenly steps foward and shouts.*

Random Hacker: CAN WE PLEASE JUST ALL CALM! THE F*CK! DOWN!

*SD and BRP back away from each other slightly as the two of them, and all the hackers turn to face this guy.*

SD: Who the f*ck are you?

Author's Note

status: Edited

DESTROY US ALL

Step 1: Ask Twilight and the others if they have movies in Equestria. If yes, go to 2. If no, go to 5.
Step 2: Ask if they have a movie called "It". If yes, go to 3. If no, go to 5.
Step 3: Determine if it has the same or similar plot to the one from your world. If yes, go to 4. If no, go to 5.
Step 4: Tell them you were attacked by Haypennywise the clown. Go to 6.
Step 5: Tell them you were attacked by a demonic pony clown that wanted to eat you. Go to 6.

Tell them straight up a demonic clown pony thing tried to eat you. It had morphing abilities turning into a giant spider monster. (They understand the concept of demons and such since Tartarus is basically hell and is a real physical place with a three headed guard dog)
Tell them that your Great Grandfather showed up, who was a hunter of these kinds of monsters in your world, and used his magic (Which you now posses) to save you.

"DEMON CLOWNS TRIED TO KILL ME!"

Jason - Ok, Ok, just give me a second to get things straight.

Take a moment to think about what to say.

Ask if they have legends of strange and evil creatures in equestria. (also while your at it, an image of both heypenywise and slendermane flashes in your mind. You have seen both, which by now you are pretty sure that you did indeed see him.)

Ask if they know the name pennywise and slenderman. (if not, explain what they looked like.)

Tell them that pennywise attacked you yesterday and pretty much beat you an inch from death, killed a manticore without even any difficulty, and was about to eat you.

Then, your previously believed dead grandfather came in a hind helicopter and handed pennywise's ass back to him.

You also learned about this thing called the morgan bloodline that your grandfather used to defeat pennywise, which you can now use. (say levitation in latin on the cup of water.)

Applejack? Not recognize honesty? Silly Jason. Just tell the truth and good things should happen.

Tell them about what happened in short. Tell them that a magical clown... thing attacked you, with sharp teeth, and that it mentioned the return of Nylarthohep ((However it is spelled))

Explain everything in the most blunt way possible, and then gauge their reactions.

Attempt to get up again.
Tell them what happened to the best of your ability. You're on a planet of magical colored ponies, I think they'll believe you.

You guess the only thing you can do is tell them the truth. It's not like anything else will work better, especially with the state you're now in. You're not sure why, but you know that at least Applejack will believe you. She seems to be able to recognize honestly when she sees it.

They're all leaning in as close as they can so they can listen. You just try your best to sit up again. Again, it's a bit difficult due to all the bandages, but you do manage to sit up a little bit so that you can see them. They back up a little bit as you do; they must have realized they were sucking the oxygen right out of your personal space.

Once you get yourself comfortable again, you look forward and notice Applebloom at the end of the bed looking at you as well. At the sight of her you do a double take. You're not sure at all if what you're about to tell them would be okay for her to hear. You could just tell them, but with her here........ It could complicate things.

"Big Mac," you say as you look directly over to him, upon which he walks up closer to you.

"Eeyup?" he replies as he stops right next to Applejack.

"Do you..." you begin. "Do you think you can take Applebloom outside for a moment?"

"Eeyup," he replies before you can even say another word. You had a full explanation planned for what to tell him, but he just agreed straight away. He must have seen the look on your face, and for him that was enough.

"What!?" Applebloom shouts as she looks up at Big Mac. "But Ah-"

"Applebloom," Applejack says before she can say anymore. "Go outside with yer brother." At that, Applebloom looks up at her big sister, but Applejack just looks back down at her with a worried look on her face. She then looks back up at Big Mac, who's giving her essentially the same look. She then looks back at you, and sees the expression on your face, which is telling her more or less the same thing. She looks back at all of them again for a moment, and ends back at you again. After a few moments, she lets out a loud sigh of frustration as she turns around and starts heading towards the door with Big Mac right behind her.

With the two of them gone, all the mares in the room lean in closer again, very interested in what you have to say.

Ask where your clothes are. The sudden thought of being alone with mares, naked and vulnerable, didn't sit well on your head. Those days may be over, but you've been traumatized.

You're honest to God, Odin and Zeus not worried about that anymore. A few weeks ago you would be, but now things have kind of changed. If they are as bad as your inner Batman is telling you, a lack of clothes is not even the least of your problems.

Still, they're all waiting for an explanation. So you just take in a deep breath and look up towards the ceiling for a bit as you think about exactly what you are going to say. After a moment, you look back down at them.

"I know you don't have movies here in Equestria, but you do have books right?" you begin. None of them answer, and in retrospect, that is an incredibly stupid question. Of course you know they have books. "Is there a story here that tells of a shape changing monster that devours children?" At that, you watch as all of the expressions on their faces change from worried to slightly confused. "It scares children by changing into what they fear the most before eating them." You don't even bother asking them if they'll know the name Pennywise, cause you know they won't. This is a different world and all.

Just then, as that thought enters your head. Your mind flashes back to a few days ago when you saw that tall, slender, faceless pony in the suit at Sweet Apple Acres. If the demonic clown was really, then is that...

"There... " Lyra says, interrupting your though. "There is a story similar to that here," Lyra says, at that everyone looks at her.

"Are you saying that's what attacked you?" Rainbow Dash asks as she flies in a little closer to you, hovering over Rarity as she does.

"In a nutshell, yes," you reply. You figure it's best to just be out with it at this point. Though now all their faces are showing even more confusion, which you completely expected. "Where I'm from we have a story of a creature like that called Pennywise the dancing clown." You don't bother telling them that Pennywise is supposed to be completely fictional, since he's just a creation of Stephen King and all, though with that thought you wonder for a moment if Stephen King is another member of the Sons of Dunwich. It would make sense if he knew about Pennywise... Still, it doesn't look like you're about to find that out anytime soon. "He can take whatever form he wants, but he usually prefers to take the form of a demonic clown for some reason, hence the name." You pause at that for a moment to take another breath, then look directly forward at them.

"I ran into him in the at the edge of the forest yesterday, and as you can see, he pretty much beat me within an inch of my life. He even killed a giant lion that came out of the forest at us without any difficult at all. He just tore it's friggin head off." At that, you watch as they all get a little creeped out by that. You can't really blame them. "I thought I was gonna die," you continue. "In fact, he was about to eat me, but I was saved." At that, they all lean in closer again. "I was saved by my great grandfather, who I thought was long dead." You don't bother mentioning anything about the hind helicopter, you know it would only confuse them even more and probably not take you as seriously. "He was a hunter of these monsters in my world using a kind of magic based on the power of the voice. He used this power to save me, and during the fight, I discovered..." You have to stop right there for a moment. You stop and look down at the bed. At the blankets. At all your bandages. There's really no way around this, you have to tell them. "That I have this power too. Apparently I have some kind of special power running through my family bloodline. I'm still not entirely sure how it works, but if I want to. I can say anything in Latin, and it will happen." You then look back up at them. They all seem even more confused than they were before.

"We nearly had him, but Pennywise escaped. My great grandfather went after him," you're not entirely sure if that last part is true, but you hope to whatever god is there it is. "Afterwards, I walked out of the forest back to Applebloom and her friend's clubhouse where they found me." You stop right there. There isn't really much more to tell, at least you don't think. You look around at all of them, the looks on all their faces say practically the same thing.

None of them understood a word you said.

Sure they might have understood the language, but still, they were finding it incredibly difficult to believe. You didn't need to ask them, they didn't need to say anything. It was all over their faces. Not that you can blame them. If someone you knew told you all this, you're not sure you'd believe them either.

"Jason..." Rarity finally speaks. "Are you....." She stops and covers her mouth with her hoof for a moment before continuing. "Are you sure you're...."

Step 6: Say, "Videant quam vidi" (Let them see as I saw) to show them what you saw - all of it - when you were attacked. Go to 7.

Response: I don't know how to explain it but I found I have a special power running in my Family Bloodline.
Not only that but this demonic clown pony tried to eat me! Don't believe me? Let me show you... I do warn you that this may be some ugly
images I'm about to show you all...
*lift up your Left arm and chant* "Ostendat illa quae vidi" (Show them what I saw) *replay the whole fight with Haypennywise to them*

Demonstrate said powers with a simple force push so that they believe you.

You also learned about this thing called the morgan bloodline that your grandfather used to defeat pennywise, which you can now use. (say levitation in latin on the cup of water.)

Latin.

Also state that some technology which you believe to be from your world is flying around, and that if you say things in an old language, it will happen.
finally, say 'Summon Apple' in Latin, and then say 'Dance, Apple.'

If they don't believe you, add evidence.

"Damnit," you say to yourself. You really, REALLY did not want to have to do this. Not to them. "Videant quam vidi." You say as you lift up your left arm, though you're not really sure that was necessary.

The moment those words leave your mouth, image of the previous day flash through your head one last time, but it also flashes through their's and they watch everything. You can feel it happening, you know it's happening.

After what seems like a second, it fades away as quickly as it began. The looks on all their faces aren't ones of confusion or worry anymore, but abstract horror. You did not think it was possible for their eyes to get any wider, but they are, and their mouths are hanging open a little.

'F*ck, why did I do that?' you mentally ask as you mentally kick yourself.

Step 7: Ask for food. Go to 8.
Step 8: Eat food. Go to 7.

As they're all standing there looking dumbfounded, a doctor and another nurse walk into the room. The nurse lifting up what looks like a tray of food with her magic, since she is a unicorn, and sets it down in front of you.

"Sorry," she says nervously. "We weren't really sure what kind of food humans like, but your friend Lyra mentioned that you like eggs cooked like this so...." At that you look down at the food you've been given. It's a plate of scrambled eggs, toast, an apple, and some orange juice. They just made you breakfast.... that's kind of awesome.

"Ms Heartstrings," the doctor says to her as he looks over a clipboard. "Can I speak to you and Bon Bon for a moment?"

"Yeah, sure," Lyra replies in the most deadpan voice possible as she and Bon Bon turn and leave the room with the doctor, though with the way they are walking, they look more like they are just going through the motions, or are more accurately, are robots pretending to be ponies, rather than actually walking or looking where they are going. Also, you're pretty sure you never saw them blink.

Still.... there is a plate of food in front of you, and you don't usually like to be rude, but you have absolutely no idea how long it's been since you've last eaten, so you pick up a fork and dig right in.

Perspective Shift:

Lyra Heartstrings

You are Lyra Heartstrings. Musician, history nut, human enthusiast (as your lovely marefriend Bon Bon puts it), part time conspiracy nut, and a lesbian. And what you just saw was by far the most horrifying thing you've ever seen in your life.

"Ms. Heartstrings....... Ms. Heartstrings," The doctor pony in front of you says as your mind snaps back to reality. Right.... you're in the hospital, and the doctor just pulled you and Bonnie out for a moment to talk about something.

"Yeah, sorry...." you respond as you rub the back of your head with a hoof. "I just sort of.... spaced out there for a moment.... I guess...." Bon Bon doesn't do anything this time. You're guessing the same thing happened to her.

"It's all right," the doctor says with a smile. "But yes. Um... I need to talk to you about your human friend." And that was what you were afraid of...... Oh Celestia, please don't be where you think this is going to be.

"What is it!?" You ask, as all the worry you were feeling before suddenly returns with a vengeance. "Is he okay!? He's gonna be all right is he!? Please tell me he's gonna be all right!?"

"It's all right, it's all right," the doctor says. "He's perfectly fine, better than ever in fact, he's making a smoother recovery than we thought he would." At that, you can't help but take the biggest sigh of relief of your life. No words in the Equestrian language can- "Which is what we're a little worried about." And at that, you cannot help but look at him confused. You look to Bonnie, but she looks just as confused as you do. So you look back to the doctor pony. "When your friends brought him in. He had all kinds of wounds and injuries. Scratches, bites, fractures, you name it, and he'd lost a lot of blood, more than we'd like to count, but he's only been here for one night and he's already making a full recovery. More than half of the injuries he came in with are already healed, and he seems perfectly fine." And you think you can see where this is going. "Even the best unicorn magic can't heal anypony this fast. Um, tell me, since you're the only one here who knows about humans. Do they have any kind of amazing healing powers that could help him get through this?" You have to stop for a moment at that to take it all in. He's healing... already....

"No," is all you can reply. "Not that I know of."

"I see," the doctor says. "Well, if it's all the same to you. We'd like to keep him here for another day just for observation, but technically he can go home now if he wants to. Since he doesn't have any kind of legal guardian or nopony who is responsible for him, the other doctors and I thought it would be best if we asked you, since he's living with you."

You.... you need a moment to take all this in. How can Jason be healing this quickly. The best unicorn magic your flank, nothing can heal from that many serious wounds this quickly? That was the biggest understatement you've ever heard in your life.

As much as you want Jason to come home, you can kind of see where they are coming from with this.

What do you do?

-Side Story-

Also I feel as if it's necessary to remind you all of this, but if you're in the side story, you aren't allowed to make any comments about the side story and what you're doing in in unless you comment on the main story first. Once you do that, then you can go ahead and make as many comments about the side story as you want. Sorry, but some of you (not naming any names here) seem to be forgetting this. So yeah...

The Previous Night

-The Everfree Forest-

Just outside Zecora's hut

-On the Surface-

Kirk: Well... ... I...

GF:Look, we know something is terribly wrong here. We need to focus on saving this world, then I'll tell you everythign about my research notes, how to travel dimensions, Hell, I'll throw in the schematics for a Quantum Displacement Cannon. I'm sure Scotty would get a kick out of that being attached to the Enterprise.

Kirk: Right. We'll focus on the mission. But you and I will have a nice long talk once this is over.

GF: So... can I have my suit and crowbar back? I'm pretty sure the perception filter will mask it's presence.

*Kirk considers for a moment, before nodding*

Kirk: Alright. I'll get them to send it down in a moment.

*flicks up communicator*

Kirk: Kirk to Enterprise, come in Enterprise. *Krrssccchhhttt* I repeat. Kirk to Enterprise. Enterprise, please respond. *Krrrsssccchhhttt*

The quartet look at eachother.

GF: That's not good.

Zecora: As is the fact that I trusted you so far... Now do please tell me what you meant by traveled the stars?
*the group whips around to reveal Zecora standing with a bamboo stick, held in a recognizably offensive stance*

(as it is)

The Present

-Ponyville-

Sweet Apple Acres

*Ponyville*
*BB and SH enters the home of the Apple's*
BB: *peaks through door* Hello? Anypony home? *He hears snoring, and when Brauburn took a step in the floor creaks*
Granny Smith: *snooze bubble pops and rapidly blinks* Brauburn? *sees LS* and Miss Strongheart! What a surprise. Ah never heard you two are visiting!
LS: Hello, Granny Smith.
BB: Howdy! Doin' well out here? How are da apple orchards? Haven't heard much aside from da letters Ah generally get.
GS: Oh, who do you think we are? Amateurs? *laughs* We are doing just fine. The apples are ripe. Just in time for some of mah good ol' apple pie. You are free to have some later.
BB: Great! Cousin Big Mac and Applejack out on the fields?
GS: Nope.
BB: Wha?
GS: For whatever reason it is, the foals came to AJ shoutin' about somethin' and went out lickety-split. Big Mac went along with them, somethin' about the hospital.
BB and LS:*looks at each other, worried about what she said*

(As it is)

Time unspecified

-The Enterprise-

The Engine Room

-On the enterprise-

Scotty, in the engine room: Bring me the cortical screw wrench!

Random engineer: Aye, Sir.

*A few minutes pass*

Scotty, in a fit of rage: GGGRRRAAAAAGGH!! I JUS DONNA GET IT! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YE? *pants, while engineers eye him funny.

*Security officer walks in*

SO: SIR! We've got some bad news. We've only got twelve more hours of air left.

Scotty: Well than distribute the emergency masks then, ya idiot!

SO: Sir, that estimate included the masks, which we've already distributed to everyone we could. Yours is here, too, sir.
*Scotty pales*This is nea very good at all. Take that mask yourself. I'll be fine. You! Get to work on the auxiliary generator! I want her running five minutes ago. And you four! Get to Cargo Bay Three and see if you can't scrounge up some power boxes and hook 'em up to the air scrubbers. It should give us some more time.

SO: But sir-

Scotty: THAT'S AN ORDER!

SO: AYE, SIR!

*At that moment, Chekov runs through the open doorway*

Chekov: SIR! I found something!

Scotty: What is it?

Chekov: Well, sir, it's an old HAM radio I had been tinkering with. It should be able to send a signal to the rest of the fleet, perhaps even the Captain if we can boost the signal with the ships communications.

Scotty: That.... actually could work. Come with me, we'll need a powerbox and a bunch o'prayers.

(As it is)

-The Dalek Flagship, The Caesar-

The Control Room

"Random hacker": *to SD* I'm Bronze Statue, thank you SO MUCH for asking. Now, if we could all just calm down, I'm sure we could fix the computers without killing each other. First, is there any sort of backup power so we can get anything back online? Once we have power, I think I might be able to get one ship enough control to land. Second, killing each other and flinging insults won't speed that up. Third, and this is kind of related to the first point, where are your engineers, SwimmingDalek? And fourth, where did RA put the cookie dough?

*Picks up where we left off*

Bronze Status: Well.... my hacking codename is Bronze Statue, thank you SO MUCH for asking. Now, if we could all just calm down, I'm sure we could fix the ship without killing each other first. Firstly, is there any sort of backup power so we can get anything back online? Once we have power, I think I might be able to get at least this ship back online. From there I can help work on the others. Second, killing each other and flinging insults won't speed that up. Third, and this is kind of related to that. Where the f*ck are your engineers? And fourth, WHERE DID REGISTERED ANONYMOUS PUT THE COOKIE DOUGH!!!????*

*All the hackers, Swimming Dalek, BRP, and Registered Anonymous, who is still on the floor barely moving, look at him, slightly confused by that last outburst. After a moment, Swimming Dalek removes his hand from his gun.*

*I turn into my true Multiform shape and curl around myself* Okay, calm down... breathe... Okay... I'm fine now. So, who are you?

Swimming Dalek: You're right. *turns back into his true multiform shape* Okay, calm down.... breathe.... Okay, I'm fine now.

BS: Which brings me to my fifth point.

R.A.: ...I'll have to agree with this guy on everything he says except for one small itsy bitsy detail... why do you want to know the location of my cookie dough?

*suddenly the atmosphere of the room becomes so thick you could cut it with a knife.*

R.A.: Because if you want some of my famous cookies that's one thing, but you handling my cookie DOUGH is another.
*begins getting up with the darts effects wearing off* Cause if another man handles another man's cookie dough it could lead to some... 'complications' to your health if you will. *gets up close to Bronze Statue's face staring at him menacingly*
So, why do you want to know the location of my cookie dough Bronze Statue? Hm?

*off to the corner*

Hacker 1: *whispers to Hacker 2* I can't believe his parents named him Bronze Statue of all things.

Hacker 2: Yeah at least our names are more... normal.

Registered Anonymous: WHAT WAS THAT YOU SAID ABOUT MY COOKIE DOUGH!?

BS: *ignores him* You're a multiform, so you can breathe in space right?

SD: Right...

BS: And so can the daleks right?

SD: Right....

BS: Well then, what are we breathing right now?

*Suddenly, the atmosphere in the room becomes so thick you could cut it with a knife.*

Hacker 1: Well fu-

Hacker 2: How long do we have?

BRP: If I had to guess. I'd say about two hours.

H2: What makes you say that?

BRP: With the amount of us here, and the level of oxygen that was on the ship, I think that's how I think it'd take for us to breath it all up.

H2: Then what happens after that?

BS: We'd last about as long as it takes for the average does without oxygen.

H2: So what do we do?

BS: Well I have an idea.... but it's not very good.

SD: What is it. At this point, any idea is better than nothing.

BS: All of us have to move to the Enterprise. They have a life support system that can support humans, we'll have to help them get that back online first if we want to survive.

BRP: But they're probably offline too.

BS: Which is why I said this probably isn't a very good idea.

SD: And even then... the Enterprise is in the hanger bay, but since there's no power....

BRP: What are you getting at?

SD: What's in the hanger right now is essentially the same thing as what's in space.

BS: So there's literally nothing but space between us and the Enterprise right now.

SD: Pretty much.

Hacker 4: I have an idea.

BS: Oh, and what's that.

H4: We could build a giant hamster wheel to supply temporary power to the ship while we try to figure out what's wrong. Registered Anonymous could run in it and-

*BRP walks up and slaps him before he can finish.*

BRP: You f*cking idiot! Where are we gonna get the parts for a giant hamster wheel in this situation!?

H4: Oh.... right....

H1: Yeah, plus, I don't think that would work..... at all....... sorry man.

BS: Yeah, that idea has about as much chance of working as letting Registered Anonymous "fix" the computers does.

H4: *looks down, sad* Okay....

Regulus: Backup power systems are accessible, but they cannot be accessed by any remote mechanisms, and must be manually activated.
Aldebaran (lead Strategist Dalek): Wait! If the Slenderpony is capable of breaching our systems, then it must be on-board the ship! It is waiting for us to go for the back-up power supply!
Me: Well, f*ck me in the keyhole... well, who else has any ideas?

*Dalek's Regulus and Aldebaran come up*

Regulus: Backup power systems are accessible, but they cannot be accessed by any remote mechanisms. They must be manually activated.

Aldebaran: Wait! If the Spenderpony is capable of breaching our systems, then it must be on-board the ship! It is waiting for us to go for the back-up power supply!

*Swimming Dalek's expression changes, suddenly he's pissed.

Hacker 2: Great, so we're suffocating right now, we have no way to the Enterprise, the thing that shut us all down is probably waiting for us there so it can kill us, and not a single electronic thing is working.

*Suddenly, out of nowhere*

Nana: Well, I wouldn't say that.

*BRP's wrist computer comes on*

Hacking AI: You can say that again.

Author's Note

Status: edited

Also I would like to take a moment to acknowledge this comment.

Then degrade into a coughing fit, and start moaning. And start muttering "Meat. I mean seriously? You guys don't eat meat? How dare you?! I love meat! I love meat in my mouth! I love the way it explodes with juice in my mouth. I really, really love meat and everything about it! I love meat all over me! I love to eat all kinds of meat, you know, white meat, dark meat, all kinds of meat. I love meat, why do you guys hate meat? JESUS! You stupid ponies, meat is good for you! It does the body good. Get it in you whatever way you can. Whatever way you get that meat in ya is ok with me.

Rarity response:

Thank you Gordon Freebrony... thank you very much.

Snowflame makes a cameo in this chapter

-Meanwhile in a parallel universe where Snowflame is in Equestria-

Well, I got nothing. :ajsleepy:

Can Snowflame make a comment?

No.

Too bad, it is obvious that Cthulhu Man has the power of cocaine! Tell him to embrace the power of the white god of ecstasy! Oh and Snowflame Writter Guy, get back to writing Snowflame!

I want to do other things right now.

That wasn't a suggestion. It was an order.

Snowflame was sitting at a booth in Sugarcube corner with his new friend The Ultimate Warrior, Discord, and the assassin that tried to kill him but now wanted to be his friend, Obito when suddenly, all of time froze except for him. It was if somebody had hit the pause button on reality. Snowflame blinked for a moment to make sure that he hadn't taken too much cocaine from his new armband.... even though he knew cocaine was not supposed to work this way.

When he opened his eyes again, this guy standing across the table from him.

"YOU!" Snowflame shouted as he leapt up from his seat, over the table, and with one swift motion made a sweeping kick at the man he had previously thought he fought in the Everfree Forest in a non-canon side story written by the author who is currently writing this story. Since this was not the character but rather an avatar of the author himself, Razor grabbed Snowflame's leg with his left hand before it even hit him, spun Snowflame around, knocking the table away in the process, and then slammed him into the ground behind him.

Snowflame, undeterred and feeling no pain, quickly got back up and threw a punch at Razor. Razor however, grabbed his fist like it was nothing and twisted it 180 degrees. Snowflame, suddenly able to feel an exquisite amount of pain, shouted at the top of his lungs as a sensation unfamiliar to him scorched his entire arm. At that, Razor then let go of Snowflame's fist and slapped him across the face with his other hand.

"Yo, Snowflame," Razor said to him as Snowflame grabbed his wrist. "Quit being a f***ing jerk. KenSES64 doesn't wanna write that story right now. He's not like me where this is the only thing he writes, he does other things too."

"Why should Snowflame listen to you!?" Snowflame yelled back at Razor through the seething pain. "You don't write my stories!"

"Because if you don't," Razor continued. "I'll trap you in this place.

-Meanwhile in a parallel universe where homework is drugs-

"What is this?" Snowflame asked as he looked around, his wrist somehow miraculously healed. "It's just the teacher pony's class-"

"SHH!!!" Razor shushed him before he could even finish.

Ms. Cheerilee sat at her desk, looking down at some papers when Applejack and Rarity walked in and took seats right across from her. None of them seemed to notice Razor or Snowflame.

"Yah wanted to see us, Ms. Cheerilee?"

"Yes," Ms. Cheerilee responded as she took her attention away from her paperwork and up at them. "It's about your sisters. Something's happened with them and I...." She seemed nervous for some reason. "Well.... I wanted to talk to the two of you before I spoke with their parents."

"What is it?" Rarity asked, now sounding worried. "Nothing serious I hope." Ms. Cheerilee didn't respond for several moments. She looked like she really wanted to say something, but didn't know the correct words with which to phrase it, or to say it in the best way possible. After a moment of looking back and forth between them, she closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and told them.

"Today during recess I caught them doing...." This was it, she paused for another moment before the last word escaped out her throat. "Homework."

The moment that word hit their ears, Applejack and Rarity's eyes became as wide as dinner plates and their jaws hit the floor. As did Snowflame's when he realized exactly where Razor had taken him.

"NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Snowflame shouted to the heavens. "TAKE SNOWFLAME BACK! DON'T LEAVE SNOWFLAME HERE IN THIS-"

-Meanwhile in a parallel universe where Snowflame is not in Equestria, but will be once this title card is over-

Snowflame and Razor suddenly appeared back in Sugarcube corner with Snowflame sitting in the same seat he was before. Within moments of being back, he took several deep breaths, and then threw his head onto the table and started crying.

"Now," Razor said to him. "Are you gonna keep being a c***bucket, or are you gonna let Kenny do what he wants?"

"I want to be good!" Snowflame shouted through the tears. "I'll be good!!!"

"Good," Razor replied. Seeming satisfied. "Now to continue with the joke."

"Wha-"

-Meanwhile in a parallel universe where all ponies are aware of the narration-

As Rainbow Dash flew past Applejack, she couldn't help but think of her nice, well toned flanks.

"WHAT!?" Applejack shouted as her face turned as red as one of her red delicious apples. "DASH!!

"I.... I.... I, uh....." Rainbow Dash stuttered, her face about as red as Applejack's. As Applejack watched her try to form a coherent sentence, she couldn't help but think about just how much she wanted to bury her face in Dash's netherlands and go to town.

And now it was Dash's turn for her face to get as red as an apple. Even though it was already red to begin with.

-Meanwhile in a parallel universe where nopony is called Steve-

"Hey, Pinkie," Twilight said as she walked up to her friend.

"Oh, hey Twilight, what's up?" Pinkie asked as she landed on the ground again from her latest bounce.

"I was just curious," Twilight said. "Do you happen to know anypony named Steve?" Pinkie had to bring a hoof to her chin and think for a moment about that.

"No," she replied after that moment. "I don't think so."

"Me neither," Twilight replied.

"That is weird," Pinkie Pie said again with her hoof still on her chin.

"F***!!!" Twilight and Pinkie turned to see a rather young, egyptian boy with white hair and a rod with a ball and two spikes on the end and an eye design on the ball. "WRONG UNIVERSE!!!"

-Meanwhile in a parallel universe where Razor can't type coherently to save his life-

dhfk;sahtoefnsdlkfhwfhinne 'lv WOEITeilhklefjriklgj wo?;ruj' [tuweop;gLEQ?Kfn AKL?S fnjwiohrj"rtjalkshr qla; rkjfwoiJDOW;GQ;LAJTV WPEOA;TUQELA FMELKEHEWILAFACMN;S FWOI;hrgkfksjd

-Meanwhile in a parallel universe populated by intelligent monkeys-

-Meanwhile in a parallel universe where dinosaurs are still alive, but are also invisible-

Lyra and Bon Bon stood back to back in the center of Ponyville town square, both absolutely winded, but still ready for anything. Smoke was coming out of the barrels of Bon Bon's shotgun, and Lyra's chainsaw was just now slowing down. The town around them was in shambles, completely destroyed, and Lyra and Bon Bon themselves were absolutely covered from head to hoof in invisible dinosaur blood.

"Groovy," Lyra said to nopony in particular as she let her chainsaw fall, all the dinosaurs having been defeated. She didn't to say or do anything else before she turned around, only to have Bon Bon tackle her to the ground and shove her tongue inside of Lyra's mouth.

-Meanwhile in a parallel universe where books are hot-

"OH CELESTIA! OH YEAH! OH CELESTIA......... YES..... YES YES YES BANG ME LIKE A-"

"Twilight, what are yo-" Spike couldn't even finish his sentence as he opened the door to Twilight's room, and had to stop dead in his tracks.

The sight in front of him, the one that would be forever burned into his eyes was.

*TOO HOT FOR THIS STORY*

*TOO HOT FOR THIS STORY*

*TOO HOT FOR THIS STORY*

*GET RAINBOWBOB TO WRITE IT IF YOU REALLY WANNA SEE WHAT HAPPENED*

-Meanwhile in a parallel universe where foals are explosive-

Princess Cadence put a hoof to her tummy.

"I think I'm pregnant," she said aloud. At those words, Shining Armor took off from his couch, ran out the door, and put a deadbolt lock spell on it.

"Sir, what's-" a member of Shining's guard asked him before he was cut off by him.

"GET DOWN!!!" Shining Armor yelled as he bolted as far away from the door as he physically could.

-Meanwhile in a parallel universe where Jason Morgan never landed in Equestria-

-Meanwhile in our universe-

Somewhere in Connecticut

"DON'T CALL ME KENNY!!!!!!!"

-Meanwhile in this story's universe-

You have a lot to think about. Get some water and chew something vigorously to ease the anxiety a little. Wait, no. Jason had just survived wounds that no normal pony could recover from for WEEKS! Whatever books said about humans, they sure never told you about this! Everything you seemed to learn about humans had seem pointless compared to this. How can this be? Jason, who was on the run just a few weeks ago, have powers strong enough to... to...
You need that water, and flowers to chew on.

stare at nothing wide eyed badfled at this

All you can do... is stare blankly at the doctor pony wide eyed. None of the books you've read or any of the research you've ever done on humans have said anything about this. From what you do know, they heal about as fast as any normal creature, and they can't use any kind of magic. At least, as far as your definition of magic. Everything you've learned about humans seems pointless compared to this.

The thought also occurs to you why Jason thought you ponies didn't have movies.... You have movies.... you have lots of movies.

GAH! BY CELESTIA THERE ARE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT RIGHT NOW!!!

Jason.... the human who was on the run, afraid of an insane purple unicorn who was trying to have her way with him only a few days ago... can now do..... things you can't even begin to understand.

Lyra : BELIEVE IN THE JASON THAT BELIEVES IN YOU ! no way are they taking your friend from you especially after he came so close to something like... THAT! Deck that doctor in the face! or contemplate it... or politely refuse

[Lesbian Lyra Loony Lunar gonad powers activate!]

Jason literally just showed you yesterday's horrific events with some sort of unheard of human magic, the advanced healing really shouldn't be that far fetched.
You decide to check Jason out of the hospital where he can be surrounded by allies and he can detail what his next move is, heck the princesses should probably be contacted, plus if that clown thing is still out there, who's to say that it won't come for him in the night? Strength in Numbers.
Also you wonder why Jason said that you didn't have movies in Equestria, there are movie theaters after all (Babs Seed Song at 0:47)

"Um..." you say when you somehow find the ability to speak again. "If it's all right. I'd like for him to come home. If he's really okay, then he doesn't really need to stay here does he?" You say to the doctor, but really, honest to Celestia, you're worried. After what you just saw, if any of it is true, then you don't feel comfortable at all leaving Jason here. At the very least, he'll be close to you, Bon Bon, and everypony else in case something... were to....

No. You've got to believe in Jason. Believe in the Jason that believes in you....... or something like that..... Why did you even think that.... that's the weirdest phasing of anything you've ever thought of... ever. Oh well, either way, still. You've got to believe in him.

The Doctor pony just looks at you for a moment before putting on a reassuring smile.

"All right," he says. "If that's what the two of you want."

"We should probably ask him though," Bon Bon intervenes. "See what he wants."

"Yes, of course," the doctor replies as the three of you walk back into the room. The scenery inside hasn't changed much since then, except for the fact that there is now an empty tray of food in front of him. The thought occurs to you to ask him how in Equestria he healed so fast, but you think you already know the answer to that.

If what you saw is true... that ancient Roanan like speech he and his great-grandfather can do.... it must put unicorn magic to shame.

Perspective Shift:

Jason Morgan

Jason : 1 : decide eggs quality
: 2 : contemplate the eggs thoroughly
: 3 : wonder if you might have lost i.q. from the beating
: 4 : decide you want to be more of a man [propriam penis dilatásti][basically enlarge your junk]
: 5 : feel bad for your stunned friends da amicorum beatitudinem [give friends happiness(as a way to say sorry)]

You know... all things considering. Those eggs weren't that bad. Sure you've had better, but not bad for a pony whose never made anything like that before. The toast was also good too.

The thought does occur to you that you might have lost some of your IQ thanks to the mother of all beatings you've received, but you disregard that thought immediately. Cause that's just stupid.

Two more thoughts also enter your head, but before you can give them any more thought, another nurse walks in as the nurse who gave you your tray of food takes it away.

"Um... visiting hours are over," she says, though none of the others seem to hear her.

"Right..." Rainbow Dash says first of all of them. "Visiting hours.... over.... tomorrow... right."

"Right." Rarity says as she follows close behind her, shortly followed by Spike and Fluttershy, neither of whom say anything. Applejack leaves shortly after they do. Before Pinkie leaves however, she stops and turns back around before she can reach the door.

"Umm.... Jason," she says. You don't know why you didn't notice before, but Pinkie Pie hasn't said anything this whole time, and the look on her face now.... You guess even she can be like that sometimes when she's worried. "I... I made you some cupcakes. I'll bring them over tomorrow if you want them." She seems..... she's hesitating. She never does this. "And if you'd like.... when you get out of here... I'd like to throw you another party." With that, she puts on the best smile she can, though you can obviously see that behind it... she might as well be running around in panic.

Still, you do what you can. You smile back at her the best you can to and tell her what she wants to hear.

"Yeah, sure. I'd like that," is all you say to her.

"Thanks," she says before she leaves. With her gone, you notice Lyra, Bon Bon, and the doctor from before all standing in the doorway. You didn't even notice that they weren't in the room earlier. After Pinkie leaves, Lyra walks into the room.

"Um, Ms...." the nurse says to her. "Visiting hours are-"

"Can I.... just have a moment with him.... please?" Lyra asks, the look on her face says it all. The nurse just watches her for a moment, then looks back to the doctor, who gives her a nod. That seems to be all she needs to hear.

"All right," she says as she walks past Lyra and out of the room. The doctor and Bon Bon follow her down the hallway, the latter of the two looks back at you through the door as she leaves.

"Hey," Lyra says to you as she walks up to your bedside again.

"Hey," you say back.

"So..." Lyra begins, she seems to have trouble finding the words she wants to say. You were gonna say something, but you figure it's probably better to let her speak first right now. "The doctor told me if you wanted to, you could come home right now, but they wanna keep you here an extra day, just in case, you know." Yeah, you suppose you can understand that. "So..... I guess what I am asking is... do you wanna come home? What do you wanna do?"

That was a good question... what do you wanna do?

What do you do?

Authors note:

Reasons I am giving you the same ending question as the last chapter.

1.) Cause except for two, maybe three of you (you know who you are), none of you gave me a clear answer the first time. So yeah. Does he go home or not?

2.) I had a really, REALLY long day at work and I'm kind of tired.

3.) I'm having a bit of trouble deciding some things right now. By the time the next update hits. I should have it all sorted out. So yeah.

What do you do?

Side Story

The Previous Night

-The Everfree Forest-

Zecora's hut

-On the surface-
*phaser sound*
GF: WHAT THE FUCK, MAN!
Kirk: Relax. It's on stun.
Spock: This may prove a problem in the future, captain. She will be less likely to trust us now.
McCoy: For once, I agree with the Rock here. This is going to bite us in the ass, Jim
Kirk: Look, we will cross that bridge when we come to it. Now, what are we going to-
*static*cott of the Starsh... ...prise... ...nyone read me?
The group went silent, and Kirk moved off to the side

*Gordon Freebrony moves his hand and grabs a nearby rock as he sees Kirk aim his phaser at Zecora. The moment Kirk fires, Gordon Freebrony throws the rock and hit's Kirk's hand, which knocks the phaser blast away from Zecora and hitting the ground near her. Gordon Freebrony then leaps over the fire and tackles Kirk to the ground, knocking the phaser out of his hand. Both Spock and McCoy stand and draw their phasers, but they don't fire. Not yet. Zecora can't really believe what she's just seen, but stays where she is still in a defensive stance.*

*Cue Gordon Freebrony vs James Tiberius Kirk*

Authors note (again):

This is not directed at the participants. For those of you who do read the side story. Feel free to comment on this section as if it were a PONY KOMBAT chapter. Just be sure to comment on the main story first, since that is how it's supposed to be done. Gordon Freebrony, since these characters are yours, feel free to approve which ones you do and don't like.

The Present

-Ponyville-

Sweet Apple Acres

*Ponyville*
LS: I know Ponyville is strange, and seem to attract incidents every Tuesday, but something is just a bit... off.
BB: Ah hear ya. As happy all the folks around here are, someth'in scared them bad.
LS: You actually listened to the Teach about predicting bad things?
BB: Nope. It's just easy to tell from those mares whisperin' to each other. The "Dramatic Flower Trio" if I read my letters right. Should we go and ask what's wrong?
LS: I'm curious about this. Let's.

*Braeburn and Little Strongheart are sitting on the couch at Sweet Apple Acres while they wait for Granny Smith to retrieve her famous apple pie. They both have an obvious sense of uneasiness.*

Little Strongheart: I know Ponyville is strange, and seem to attract incidents every Tuesday, but something is just a bit... off.

Braeburn: Ah hear ya. As normal as this seems to be for 'em. Something 'aint right.

LS: *snickers a little* You actually listened to the Teach about predicting bad things?

BB: Nope. I just got this feelin... ya know...

LS: Well, what should we do now?

BB: We should probably wait till mah cousin gets home. We'll find out more about it from her and then we'll decide what to do from there.

Time Unspecified

-The Dalek Flagship, The Caesar-

The Control Room

Hacker 7: How is your wrist computer working?

HAI: We downloaded into it and then shut it off from the network. The virus propagated by the slenderpony wasn't able to enter. What is the nature of the virus? Is it that nothing is powered, or that nothing is responding to your commands. If it can hear, I can get in and shut it down.

Me: Well, if we can turn on the engines, one way or another, the air supply system can work again... I don't care how crazy it is, I'm going there...

Aldebaran: Master! If Slenderpony IS down there, then your death is imminent! It feeds off of FEAR, and is practically IMMORTAL!

Me: ... Slenders live off the fear of the race they shape themselves to be like... I'm not afraid.. *turn into Multiform sand and shoot into the air ducts, towards the backup power* And I'm no pony...

*At the ship*

Nana: I can scan the area for whatever's messing with the ship. I can't do a full diagnosis like I can when I'm integrated into the ship. It has to be nearby for me to pick up, so I'm going to have to tag along.

Hacker: You can do that? But how?

Nana: Us ponies may not have radars like you, but we have detection spells for various things and magic sensory enchantments for my user. I was made to gather and analyze information, even at the most dire of situations, for my partners.

Hacker: So... Magic?

Nana: Yes, magic.

BRP: well if he's going, I'm going too. I'm no pony either and if that thing wants a fight, I'm going to give it one. Hey, RA, SD, save a piece for me! *runs out of the door*

Hacker 3: They're crazy!

Hacker 1: Well, they just left. So, how do we fix this ship?

Hacker 2: We could try rerouting power through the auxiliary buffers and into the life support systems to start off with. Remember, RA is going to be fighting. If he gets his hands on a flamethrower, we could run out of oxygen in seconds!

Hacker 1: Agreed. We should get the O2 scrubbers working as soon as possible.

Hacker 3: Guys, we're working for MAD PEOPLE!

Hackers 1&2: You get used to it.

*All of the hackers, Swimming Dalek, BRP, and even Registered Anonymous on the floor can't believe their ears when they hear the voices of Nana and BRP's hacking AI speak. Both voices are coming from BRP's wrist computer.*

BRP: Hugh! Nana! You're okay!

Nana: Yes. Your AI managed too... wait. You're name's Hugh?

HAI: Yeah, didn't I tell you?

Nana: No.

HAI: Oh.... well.... My name's Hugh Jackman. Named after a rather famous actor from my world.

Nana: Oh... well, it's nice to meet you.... *sounds a bit dreamy as she says this* Hugh Jackman....

Bronze Statue: *coughs* Um. Not to interrupt what may or may not be a really weird moment. But how the hell did you guys survive? I thought Slenderpony knocked out everything!

Registered Anomyous: *still on the floor* Hey guys. You know what I just realized is going on.

Nana: *Ignores RA* We downloaded into BRP's wrist computer just before all the systems shut down. Since it's not connected to the network of the ship in any way unless it allows it. We moved ourselves in and then shut it off so that the anomaly that shut down the systems couldn't affect us. I must say, this is a very nice space you have here Hugh. So roomy. So much date. So much storage space. It's not like my-

HJ: Yeah, sorry, but this is only a temporary solution I'm afraid.

Nana: What?

BRP: What do you mean?

RA: Hey guys?

Swimming Dalek: Shut up RA!

HJ: Nana's programming is nothing like mine. It took me a few moments to figure out how to decipher her into our language but I managed to do it. However....

BRP: However.

HJ: To spare you an incredibly long explanation. Because of the way she's made. Eventually, we'll have to put her back into her original computer since that one was made for her, or her programming will slowly begin to fade until she goes haywire and eventually... disappear completely.

Nana: WHAT!?

BRP: WHAT!?

BS: WHAT!?

All the hackers: WHAT!?

BRP: So.... how long do we have?

HJ: Based on my calculations... about 26 and a half hours.

*everyone relaxes.*

BRP: So we have time.

HJ: Yes.

Nana: Oh thank Celestia.

HJ: Don't go thanking her yet. There's still the matter of the ship.

RA: Hey guys... Wanna know what I just figured out?

SD: Right. So what can you tell me. Do you have any way to help us in your current states?

Nana: Well.... I can scan the area for whatever's messing with the ship. I can't do a full diagnosis like I can when I'm integrated into the ship. It has to be nearby for me to pick up, so I'm going to have to tag along.

Hacker 1: You can do that? But how?

Nana: Us ponies may not have radars like you, but we have detection spells for various things and magic sensory enchantments for my user. I was made to gather and analyze information, even at the most dire of situations, for my partners.

H1: So... Magic?

Nana: Yes, magic.

BRP: So. I guess that means we know who-

RA: Hey guys!

SD: WHAT!!!??? FOR ALL THAT IS HOLY WHAT IS IT RA!!! WHAT DID YOU JUST REALIZE!!!! WHAT IS GOING ON!!!???

RA: Team deathmatch.

BS: Team deathmatch?

BRP: Team deathmatch?

RA: Team deathmatch.

BRP: Team deathmatch?

H1: Team deathmatch?

H7: Team deathmatch?

BS: Team deathmatch.

BRP: Team deathmatch.

H6: Team deathmatch.

RA: team deathmatch.

BS: Team deathmatch.

BRP: Team deathmatch.

*this continues for a while*

SD: STOP IT!!!

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

RA: Tea-

SD: Hey!

....

...

...

RA: Sorry.

SD: I'm confused. What is he saying?

H7: Well, basically we're fighting a Lovecraftian outer god along with the human Jason Morgan whose down on the planet. The pony Risen Flagg, as far as we know, has allies in the form of his own council as well as whatever armed forces they control. Meanwhile, we fight up here doing what we can to help assist Jason and those down on the planet to help take down Risen Flagg. Therefore and thusly. We are all stuck. In a giant. Team deathmatch.

...

...

...

...

...

*The room is silent for at least a full minute before Bronze Statue punches Hacker 7 in the face.*

BS: That's for using up the oxygen you f***ing idiot.

BRP: Right. As I was saying. I guess I'm gonna have to be the one to go activate the auxiliary generators since.

SD: No.

*Everyone looks at him.*

SD: No. You take the hackers and head to the Enterprise. They're right about one thing. They're more than likely better situated air wise than we are right now. If they are offline just like we are then they should be working on getting themselves back online too. If they are online, contact them. They should be able to help you get on board the ship. Since you can detect is Slenderpony is close by, you have to protect them. Aldebaran might be right, he's probably waiting by the generators, but if it isn't. If by some cosmic coincidence he figured out that we knew that and adjusted his strategy. Well, someone has to protect them. They're not fighters like us. If he were to attack them.....

BRP: Yeah... I get it.

SD: So. Get your asses moving.

RA: What about me!!!

SD: You too. Bronze, BRP.

BS: Yes sir.

BRP: Yes.

SD: Contact me once you get to the Enterprise. I'll probably need your help once I've reached the engine room. BRP, right now you've got Nana and Hugh so they should help with initiating a reboot sequence. Bronze, I might need your help with the ship itself if things are worse than they seem. For right now though, just get to the Enterprise.

BS: .... I get it.

BRP: All right.

RA: WHAT ABOUT ME!!!???

SD: They'll be time for you to kick ass RA. I know they'll be. But right now.... They need you. Unless you can somehow survive in an oxygen free environment... or in space....

RA: ....

BRP: All right.... Well what about you?

*SD smiles wickedly*

SD: I'm going hunting.

*Suddenly, Swimming Dalek transforms into a cloud of dust and floats up into the ventilation shafts.*

*Everyone is silent for a few moments....*

BRP: Well. You heard the man..... multiform.... thing. Let's go.

BS: Try not to run. We don't want to burn anymore oxygen than we need to. Steve. Help me carry RA.

RA: Wait, whose Steve?

Hacker 1: That would be me.

RA: Your name is Steve?

Steve: Yeah, we all have names. You knew that right?

RA: ..... *silent*

BS: Just help me carry him.

Steve: Right.

*They all exit the room, followed by Aldebaran, Regulus, and a few other Daleks*

-The Enterprise-

The Engine Room

-On the Enterprise-
Scotty: Huff... The air's getin thinner. We best hurry up.
Chekov: Aye, Sir. We've almost done it.
*a few minutes pass*
Scotty: There. That should do it. Now to see if anyone can pick it up. *turns on radio* Hello? Hello? This is Acting Captain Scott of the Starship Enterprise. Can anyone read me?
(>> Broniesrponies2>> Grey Rebl I'm assuming Nana and the Hacking AI can pick up the signal too, but it will take them time too)
*static*
Kirk: ..otty? That y... e.. situation... wha.... lost contact.... suit... what... on?
Scotty: Captain! You're a bit spotty there, I'm going to try to boost the signal. There, is that better?
Kirk: Yes. A wonderful job as always. Now what happened to communications?
Scotty: Not just communications, sir. The whole ship died. It's as if something just latched on and stole every ounce of power, both potential and live. We've got powerpacks hitched to Life Support, but we cannea last much longer.
Kirk: I rust you can get the power back?
Scotty: Tha's just it, captain, the generators won't restart. Even the shielded core is dead, and the fuel won't reignite. I donna know what's wrong.
Kirk: That is troubling. In any case, get the power back. I want you to check in every hour when possible. I've got my own situation down here.
Scotty: Aye, Captain.
...

Scotty: Huff... The air's getin thinner. We best hurry up.

Chekov: Aye, Sir. We've almost done it.

*They manage to hook up a backup generator to the life support*

S: There. That should do it. For now. Now to see if anyone can pick it up. *turns on Chekov's radio* Hello? Hello? This is Acting Captain Scott of the Starship Enterprise. Can anyone read me?

*There is static*

Random Ensign: Sir, the distance between us and the planet may be to great. We may not be able to reach the captain.

S: God dammit! Is anybody hearing this!?

-The Dalek Flagship, The Caesar-

The Corridors

*BRP, RA, BS, Steve, and the hackers are making their way through the ship towards the Enterprise with a few Dalek's behind them. Suddenly, BRP's wrist computer comes in with a voice they don't recognize.

BRP's wrist computer: Hello? Hello? This is Acting Captain Scott of the Starship Enterprise. Can anyone read me? *static* God dammit! Is anybody hearing this!?

Author's Note

Status: edited

Also I'm debating wether or not I should stop censoring the swear words. I mean, I know I do, but sometimes I forget and I use them so often that it seems largely unnecessary now.

What do you think? Should I stop censoring the swear words or should I leave them as is?

Biggest.... Understatement.... Ever...

Completely unrelated author's note:

I had Megadeth playing when I wrote this chapter and it was awesome. Go listen to Megadeth cause they are awesome. Don't ask questions just do it.

And now back to our regularly scheduled program

Some time last night on the roof of the house that Roseluck shares with Daisy and Lily

I would really like to give the crew of one of the ships exploding spider robots to work with because of a conversation over steam with a friend that ended with jihadist suicide camel spiders. All in favor, write in some suicide camel spiders at some point.

Meanwhile on the Roof of Roseluck's House, that she shares with Daisy and Lily...
Roseluck: Wait, you want me to WHAT?!
DXIV (sitting in a lawn chair on the roof): Look, he wants some exploding camel spiders so why not give it to them?
Roseluck: Exploding Spiders... ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR CELESTIA DAMNED MIND?!
DXIV: Is that a rhetorical question?
Roseluck: EXPLODING SPIDERS! EXPLODING SPIDERS! You mean to tell me that because some commenter on the story wants exploding spiders, you are willing to give them something that they WANT!
DXIV: Yes.
Roseluck: Are you trying to help the villain and buck the entire heroic side story campaign in the plot or not?
DXIV: Roseluck, put two and two together and you will get muffins. Exploding camel spiders inside of a tiny metal box floating casually in space plus panicked starfleet officers, Daleks, and God knows what else equals muffins.
Roseluck: Muffins?
DXIV: One great big muffin of warp core meltdown and thermonuclear explosion in the upper atmosphere.
Roseluck: Isn't there some other option to royally buck the side characters over without having me carry large crates full of squirming and exploding camel spiders onto the ships?
DXIV: Come to think of it, I do remember the exact coordinates of the USG Ishimura and the exact holding bay of the Marker...
Roseluck: Just get me the damn crates.

"Wait, you want me to WHAT!?" Roseluck practically shouted loud enough for the whole world to hear at Daedaltheus, who was laying back in a lawn chair that he got from costco looking up at the night sky.

"Look," Daedaltheus replied as he set his drink down. "He wants some exploding spider robots. So why not give him some?"

"Exploding.... Robot.... Spiders...." Roseluck said as her eye began twitching uncontrollably. "ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR CELESTIA DAMN MIND!?"

"Is that a rhetorical question?" Daedaltheus asked without even changing his facial expression.

"EXPLODING SPIDERS! EXPLODING SPIDERS!!! YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT BECAUSE BRP WANTS EXPLODING SPIDERS, YOU'RE WILLING TO GIVE HIM SOMETHING HE ACTUALLY WANTS!?"

"Yes."

"Aren't you trying to help the villain in this story buck the entire side story campaign thing in the plot or something!?" Roseluck screamed at him. At that, Daedaltheus just let out a very audible sigh and turned to look at her.

"Roseluck," he began in the calm, collected voice that he aways had. "Put two and two together and you get muffins. Exploding robot spiders inside of a tiny metal box floating casually in space, plus panicked starfleet officers, daleks, and God knows what else equals muffins."

"Muffins?" Roseluck replied after a long silence, during which her actual eye may have started twitching.

"One great big muffin of warp core meltdown and thermonuclear explosion in the upper atmosphere." Daedaltheus replied with a completely straight face. Roseluck could only let out a loud sigh and bring a hoof to her face as she felt the inevitable throbbing headache begin to set in.

"Isn't there some other way to royally buck them over without me having me carry large crates full of squirming and exploding robot spiders onto their ships?" Roseluck asked. Daedaltheus put his hand to his chin in though at that, then suddenly got an evil grin on his face.

"Come to think of it," he said as his grin grew even wider. "I do remember the exact coordinates of USG Ishimura, and the exact holding bay of the Marker."

"Just tell me where I can get the damn crates," Roseluck said as she brought both hooves to her face. Her previous little headache had become a full on migraine.

(So yeah.... you all might be getting crates filled with exploding robot spiders at some point. Use them wisely.)

And Fast Forward to Present

Go home with Lyra and Bon Bon.
1. If you do get attacked again, a house has more easy escape options than a hospital room.
2. If you don't get attacked, better beds and better food at Lyra and Bon Bon's house.
3. If you're alone in a house, you're more likely to get a random Dues ex Machina visitor.
4. If you start talking to Ghost Pinkie in the hospital, you're never getting out.

Jason, go home. Then eat. Once again, using epic magic powers burns hella calories when Stephen King's creations are involved. (I point you to Insomnia.)

1 : go home
2 : ask lyra if she thinks the trauma means that you could acquire medicinal grade marijuana
3 : delve into your mind and begin tripping on life and the horror you witnessed in the fight as you walk
or
4 : sing don't worry be happy now

What's the point in staying in the hospital when you're feeling fine?
Go home with Lyra and Bon Bon, the clown might expect you to be at the hospital since it wounded you.
In fact, catch up with the rest of the girls before they leave. I mean you just showed them a friggin demon clown and how it almost devoured you, try to stick together and get word to the Princess for guards or something. Hell, you should get Rainbow Dash scouring the skies looking for the hind, Your Great Grandfather is still out there.
Also, give the girls more forewarning about the clown, tell them to stick together and not wander off alone and to avoid Balloons at all cost (Cue Sad Pinkie :pinkiesad2:)

Well, you'd best look at the pros and cons. Pros: The hospital food is not that bad, Pinkie is bringing cupcakes tomorrow, everyone is feeling sorry for you, and you are being pampered. Cons: No weed. No clothes. No freedom of movement. No meat.
...
,,,
,,,
You have to leave. And then go hunting. YOu NEED MEAT! AND BACON! SIZZLING ANIMAL FLESH. YOU WANT IT! YOU NEED IT!

Hmmmm lets see one one hand delicious hospital food, wonderful nursing staff, and a comfy bed. On the other Lyra and Bon Bon, marijuana, and possibly cookies to eat after getting high... Go home with Lyra Jason, weed trumps all.

You should go home with Lyra. While, under normal circumstances, I'd recommend staying at the hospital, these certainly aren't normal circumstances. You don't know if that pony Pennywise will return, and attack you- or even worse, your friends. Heck, it might even have allies- like that Slenderman... pony... You never know. After what happened yesterday, anything is possible... It's best for you to leave the hospital, since you don't seem to have any more serious injuries. I doubt the hospital would be able to secure your safety from anything like that. You should be with your friends- both to protect them, and be protected BY them. Also, you should try to comfort your friends as soon as possible. You just showed them all some pretty brutal stuff- they're probably in shock from the horrible stuff they saw. Once the shock wears off, they'll all probably be freaking out. Best calm them down if that happens.

Main Story: You must go home! With that clown thingy on the run, and from how much damage it can deal, action MUST be taken. Besides, you don't want innocent little foals going missing, especially when you have the POWER to prevent that.

Yes. Go home with Lyra.
Also, meat? You're in a land of sapient ponies, conform to their values damnit!
Besides, from the looks of things most animals here are at least semi-sapient as well.

Tell Lyra that you feel safer in her hooves, and decide to go home. Also learn that ponies not only have movies, but also video game, and get confused by Equestria's inconsistent technology. :derpytongue2:

Go home and eat something.

Jason, you almost died. Be sensible for once in your life. Go home, get some fucking sleep, then wake up, get high, walk the dinosaur, narrowly avoid some sort of catastrophe (including cats) and above all DON'T EAT ANY PONY SHAPED OBJECTS! This is incredibly important for some ethereal reason.

Go home and rest. You're recovering fine and it'll be nice to relax at Lyra and Bon Bon's again.

Well, at this point it would see that the vote is unanimous (well except for maybe one). Even though you have no idea which vote you are thinking about. Hell, now that you are thinking about it. What vote? You literally just heard what Lyra said and there was only one clear answer to you. So what voting was going on?

Meh, that's not important now.

If it's really okay for you to leave, then you don't see a reason why you shouldn't. That, and for some reason, you don't feel exactly safe here. Sure, Lyra and Bon Bon's house might not have been that much safer (considering that you've nearly been caught there twice), but you just feel more comfortable there. Maybe it's because of strength in numbers, or maybe it's just cause you feel safer around your friends, but in any case, you for certain don't wanna stay here.

Plus, their couch is more comfortable than this bed, and they have better food over there. Sure, the eggs you got weren't that bad, but you've had better. Plus they also have the other stuff.... Though given what you've just seen. Getting high is really the last thing you want to do right now.

Think about it. You just witnessed something that was the stuff of nightmares. Why would you wanna get intoxicated after that? Plus, if what it told you was any indication, it would be coming back.

Also you're really hungry. God you could really go for a bacon cheeseburger right now.... Or something with meat..... God you miss meat.... Alas, in a world full of herbivores, that's not gonna happen. Oh well, at least they have cupcakes.... and pies.

From the look on Lyra's face, you're guessing that she feels the same way.

"Well..." you begin. "If I can leave. I'd like to." The moment you say that, Lyra suddenly smiles. Seems like she wanted you to come home too. "I don't want to stay here if I don't have to."

"Great," Lyra says. You think you can see a tear fall from her eye as she says that.

"All right, if that's what you want." You suddenly hear the doctor say as he comes around to your left. "We'll need you to sign this release first before you can go, if that's okay."

"All right," you reply as he floats a clipboard with some kind of hospital form on it towards you as well as a pen with his magic. You take the pen with your left hand and sign the form as best you can. Since it's your left hand, it's kind of awkward for you, but you manage.

"Okay," the doctor says as he takes the clipboard away from you. Seeming satisfied. "There are still a few more things we need to do before we can let you go, mostly just some more paperwork, but it shouldn't take more than a few minutes."

"That's all right," you say as you turn your attention back to Lyra. After a moment the doctor leaves. Once he's out, Lyra wraps her hooves around you one more time and hugs you.... gently this time. You return the hug as best you can with your one arm.

The two of you stay there for only a moment before you let go and she has to leave. She doesn't say anything as she walks out of the room, but you can tell she's happy. You'd be happy too.

And with that, there's no one else in the room. You're alone. No one to talk to, no one to bother you.... it's kind of nice actually. Kind of.... peaceful.

And then all that peacefulness is shattered by what sounds like a high pitched fangirl squeal as you suddenly feel something press itself against your left cheek. You look over to see.... of all ponies, Ghost Pinkie Pie, who, for an apparent lack of hooves or appendages of any kind, is attempting to hug you by pressing her face up against yours. Also she's still doing that high pitch squeal.... It's kind of annoying.

"Oh Jason!" She says after she finally stops squealing. "I'm so SO SO SO SO SO SO SOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSO GLAD THAT YOU ARE OKAY!!!" Then after that, she pulls her face away from yours. "I'm sorry I didn't say anything earlier, but I couldn't because the real Pinkie Pie was here and I can't be here if the real Pinkie Pie was here because if I was here when the real Pinkie Pie was here then there'd be too many Pinkie Pies in the room and if there are too many Pinkie Pie's in the room than it'd be absolute chaos and if it'd be absolute chaos than the whole of reality would unfold in on itself and in the whole of reality unfolded in on itself than OOOOOOOHHHH WHATEVERI'MJUSTGLADYOU'REOKAY!!!!" And with that, she shoves her face back into yours. If she had hooves. She'd probably throw them around you too.

"Me too," is all you can say to her. "Me too...."

Shortly Thereafter

After about 15 minutes of waiting, the doctor and one of the other nurses came back. The nurse, brandishing a pair of scissors, carefully cut off all of your bandages. Though since there were a lot it took a while. The more she cut off though, the more you saw that all of your wounds had completely healed, as if they were never even there.

Ordinarily, this would be a total shock to you, but....

'Signantes vulnera,' that was what your great-grandfather said to you before he fought that demonic clown... thing. If you understood it right. It means "sealing wounds" or something to that effect. Your great-grandfather healed you. That had to be it. It's the only reason you're still alive. No way you could have healed from wounds like that so quickly.

Eventually, with the help of the nurse, you get all the bandages off, and they bring your clothes back to you, which they washed and, with the help of Rarity, repaired for you. According to them, she stayed up all night fixing them when she found out what happened. Which was strange since she seemed just fine when you saw her a moment ago.... well... apart from being worried out of her mind, but that was beside the point.

Anyway. You get your clothes and shoes back on and slide yourself out of the bed. Your feet hurt a little bit as they touch the ground, and your legs and knees feel a little stiff. You also notice that you're having a little bit of trouble closing your right hand, like it's also stiff.

"You might feel a little sore," the doctor said to you. "But otherwise, you should be just fine. If anything happens, let us know. You're always welcome to come back."

"Thanks," you say to him as you slowly make your way towards the door. It hurts to walk a little, but not that much. Eventually, you reach the waiting room, where you find Lyra and Bon Bon waiting for you. The looks on their faces instantly brighten up the moment they see you. Seems as if everyone else has gone home.

So with that, the three of you say your goodbyes to the hospital and walk out the door. After you take a few steps though, you almost fall for a moment but stop yourself.

"Woah easy, easy," Bon Bon says as she catches you, but doesn't really need to.

"I'm fine," you say to her.

"Um, if you want..." she says. "You can lean on me, and I'll help you-"

"No, it's all right," you say to her. Part of you really wants to get back there on your own for some reason. Bon Bon looks like she really wants to say something, to protest, but she holds her tongue and doesn't say anything. You just get back to your feet and get moving again, albeit slowly. Lyra and Bon Bon walk slowly with you at both your sides in case anything happens.

"You know..." you say to them once you're a good distance away from the hospital. "Now that I think about it, we should have asked if we could have gotten some medical grade stuff from them." You say with a smirk. It takes them a moment to get it, but once they do, they both just giggle aloud.

"They get their stuff from Fluttershy too," Lyra says to you after she's done giggling. "So it's all the same stuff."

"Oh," is all you say. Just then it occurs to you that in a place like this, Fluttershy probably doesn't have the knowledge, the equipment, or the know how to make variations of her plants, much less stronger or not as strong ones. After all, all the ones you've been smoking are all pretty much the same. Still. It is good stuff.

"Besides," Bon Bon says with a wink. "We have some at home." Well, that's reassuring. You guess.

4 : sing don't worry be happy now.

As the three of you walk, you strangely feel the urge to whistle a little bit, so you do. You don't know why, but you do.

As you start whistling, you suddenly notice Ghost Pinkie Pie start singing.

"Do doo do. Do doo do. Do doo do." She just keeps doing that.

This continues between the two of you for a moment. At least, until you start singing.

"Here's a little song I wrote,

You might want to sing it note for note,

Don't worry, be happy,"

You start singing as Lyra and Bon Bon start whistling with you. Apparently they're enjoying the tune.

Before the three of you can even reach the next verse however, you get close to the center of town, and you have to stop as you notice something.

"That wasn't there earlier," Lyra says, confused as the three of you look towards the center of town.

There was a carriage parked in the middle of the town square surrounded by a massive crowd of ponies that just seemed to drop whatever it was they were doing to go see what was going on, though there were four royal guard ponies preventing any of them from getting close to the carriage.

"That's a royal carriage," Bon Bon says. Apparently she and Lyra are just as surprised as you were to see that. Suddenly, a thought dawns on you.

"Did any of you guys send any kind of message to Celestia after I ended up in the hospital?"

"Not that I know of," Lyra responds. "I didn't, and I don't think any of the others did. None of them said anything about it." Okay, that clears that up, sort of. You can't see inside the carriage, but if it's not Princess Celestia....

But for the love of God, do not just shrug this off, be on your guard and start making a plan right now, who knows what else is in Equestria with your Grandfather on patrol

Enter Risen Flag

I Want It All / We Will Rock You [Mash-Up] by Queen (feat. Armageddon)

Suddenly, the carriage door opens, and a dark brown unicorn stallion with black hair and a suit steps out, shortly followed by a light blue unicorn mare wearing a similar suit, though it was grey, and a white, earth pony stallion with a dark brown, nicely combed mane wearing a different kind of suit.

The moment they all stepped out of the carriage, all the ponies around them fell silent as they separated, as if on command, as the three of them walked right through them straight towards Town Hall. The four royal guard ponies on all sides of them. The brown unicorn nodded, waved, and acknowledged the ponies around him as he walked. You even saw a few mares swoon at the sight of him. The light blue unicorn seemed to be trying to ignore this.

Still.... these three.... they seemed.... familiar.

Then suddenly, despite the distance between you and the amount of ponies in between the two of you, the brown unicorn looks like at you. Well, he looks in your direction, but you can feel it. He's looking right at you. His red eyes are locked right on to you. Then, suddenly. It hits you.

You have seen this pony before.

Risen Flagg.

It was that pony senator that you met in Canterlot when you first arrived at the castle. He seemed polite enough but... something didn't sit right with him, and now that you see him again. Something still doesn't. You recognize the mare too. She was there too. You're guessing she was some kind of personal assistant to him. You don't recognize the white earth pony though. You've never seen him before. He just seems to be ignoring everyone as he walks through them.

But Risen Flagg though.

His eyes never leave yours. Though it's only for a moment, it feels like forever to you. As he looks right at you. Even from where you are. You watch the expression on his face change from the pleasant one he had before... to one that might as well have screamed at you "I will end you."

Then, as quickly as it happened. It's over. He looks back where he going and at the crowd around him and continues towards Town Hall.

Risen Flagg....

Risen Flagg is in Ponyville.

What do you do?

Side Story

The Present

-Ponyville-

Sweet Apple Acres

LS: C'mon, Brauburn, let's investigate.
BB: Aren't we gonna wait for AJ?
LS: We aren't gonna LEAVE per se, we are just gonna take a look at the orchard.
BB: Oh I get it, somethin' spooked the foals, and has to be pretty close for them to look for AJ first.
LS: So, let's go.
BB: We'll be right back Granny!
GS: Alright!

(As it happens)

Time Unspecified

-The Enterprise-

The Engine Room

-On the Enterprise-
Scotty: I repeat! This is Acting Captain Scott of the USS Enterprise. If you can hear me, please respond.
Chekov: Sir, is there a way to boost the signal?
Scotty: Perhaps. You said it uses radio waves as a means of communication, right? Similar to how we use the multi-phasic photon waves for intersystem communication?
Chekov: Yes, Sir.
Scotty: If I can crosswire the communication array into the deflector dish I might be able amplify the intensity and send the waves farther. But that would require more power than we have...
...

(As it were up to this point)

-The Dalek Flagship, The Caesar-

The Corridors

Meanwhile, in the corridors

Dalek Drones to the others: Halt! We were given orders to escort you!

*whilst carrying RA, to Steve* So, when we're at the Enterprise, wanna hit the holodecks for a bit?
Steve: You can't be serious. We're in the middle of fighting an eldritch horror, we're running out of oxygen, we're carrying a FUCKING PSYCHOPATH-
RA: Eyyyyyy!
Steve: -and you suggest ENTERTAINMENT???
Me: Yeah, pretty much.
*Steve just stares*
Me: It's better than panicking and screaming like morons.

R.A.: *Is still slightly perturbed that his hackers have names*

*suddenly Scott's voice starts coming from BRP's communicator*

R.A.: *grabs BRP's communicator watch and says* Hello this is the Fuck You Fat Guy Crew how can we be of assistance?

Steve: ... Why? Just why? *bows his head in shame*

Nana: Uhh... This is Artificial Intelligence NANA with present company the dalek crew, hackers, RA, BRP, and Artificial Intelligence John Hugh. We are currently in a haste towards your location. We'll be exiting through the bays, I repeat, we'll be exiting through bays. I suggest that you get your oxygen up and running for some of us. We are losing air and have too little tine to compensate. >> Bronze Statue, Steve! Stop wasting your air on topics about cookies!

BRP: Oh shit guys, just forgot about this.

Steve (hacker 1): What?

BRP *closes lower part of helmet visor. Is no longer using oxygen from the rest of the ship*

Steve: YOU MEAN YOU COULD HAVE DONE THAT THE WHOLE TIME!?

BRP *his voice is being projected by speakers*: I guess. As I said, I forgot. I guess I panicked a little at the thought of asphyxiation.

Steve: So you forgot the only way to guarantee that you yourself could save yourself from asphyxiation?

BRP: Yup, funny how that works.

*Everyone is still running to try and get to the Enterprise.*

Dalek Drones 1 and 2: Halt! We were given orders to escort you!

Steve: Well then escort us. Hurry up!

Registered Anomymous: *mumbles something unintelligible. Apparently he's kind of perturbed that his hackers have names.*

Bronze Statue: So, when we're at the Enterprise, wanna hit the holodecks for a bit?

Steve: You can't be serious. We're in the middle of fighting an eldritch horror, we're running out of oxygen, we're carrying a FUCKING PSYCHOPATH-

RA: Eyyyyyy!

Steve: -and you suggest ENTERTAINMENT???

BS: Yeah, pretty much.

*Steve just stares at him.*

BS: It's better than panicking and screaming like morons.

*Suddenly, Scotty's voice comes through BRP's wrist computer. Registered Anonymous, suddenly no longer unconscious or drugged out, grabs BRP's wrist and talks into it.

RA: Hello this is the Fuck You Fat Guy Crew how can we be of assistance?

Steve: WHY!? JUST WHY!? *bows head in shame*

*Suddenly, the avatar of RazortheAwesome shows up*

???: Oops, sorry, one moment.

*Suddenly snaps his fingers, and Registered Anonymous disappears in a puff of smoke.*

Steve, BS, and all the hackers one by one: What th-!

???: Oh he'll be fine. I've sent him somewhere where he won't bother you and he can have fun at the same time. In the meantime though, I suggest you all get to the Enterprise as fast as you can. Also, you're all gonna temporarily forget that Registered Anonymous existed until he comes back. Oh, and you're not gonna remember this conversation either. So yeah, bye.

*He suddenly disappears.*

Steve: Okay....

BS: Weren't we carrying someone?

Steve: I'm not sure.

Nana: We hear you, Captain. This is Artificial Intelligence NANA with present company, some of the dalek crew, the hackers, ~~RA~~, BRP, and Artificial Intelligence Hugh Jackman. We are currently making our way towards your location. We'll be exiting through the bays, I repeat, we'll be exiting through bays. I suggest that you get your oxygen up and running for some of us. We are losing air and have too little time to compensate. Also if you have any way for us to pass the gap between the bay door and your ship, tell us, cause we need it. We have no way to cross on our own at the moment.

BRP: Oh shit guys! I forgot about this.

*BRP closes the lower part of his helmet visor. He is now using his own oxygen and not the oxygen from the ship.*

Steve: YOU MEAN YOU COULD HAVE DONE THAT THE WHOLE TIME!?

BRP *his voice is being projected by speakers*: I guess. Like I said, I forgot. I guess I panicked a little at the thought of asphyxiation.

Steve: So you forgot the only way to guarantee that you yourself could save yourself from asphyxiation?

BRP: Yup, funny how that works.

Somewhere else on the ship

Me: *I fall onto the floor of the auxiliary room and reform into snake form* Hmph… I can smell you, Slender… HEY! There's where I put my Usain Bolt DNA! *grab small vial of blood on a table, and put it into my squeedlyspooch, and NO that does not mean anus… more like a small mouth-thing on my stomach area* There we go… *turn into Usain Bolt* Now… let's play tag… you're it! *Dash away extremely fast*

Slender: … *begins warping after me*

My head: Wow, I'm really glad I got Usain Bolt at his prime! Any other time and I'd be dead now!

Me on the outside: COME AT ME, BRO! *looks over shoulder, he's right behind me* IS THAT THE BEST YOU CAN DO?

*dashes even faster*

*Swimming Dalek flies out from one of the air ducts as dust and falls to the floor, where he returns to his normal, snake form and looks around.*

Swimming Dalek: Where are you? ..... *silence* I know you're out there Slender.... I can smell you.

*Suddenly, there is a noise that sounds like static, Swimming Dalek turns to see Slenderpony at the end of a long corridor. He slithers as fast as he can towards him, which is pretty damn fast, but by the time he reaches him, he is gone.*

SD: *Looks around. Sees nothing. There isn't even any noise* So that's how you wanna play this? All right... Let's play.

*Transforms into dust again and floats away.*

Some Unknown Universe

-???-

???

???: This is for saying that you could kick my ass in the last Ask Me Anything blog I did. *Snaps fingers*

*Suddenly, Registered Anonymous is able to move again, his paralysis having been fully restored, and his vision comes back, as if it were never even gone. Cause it wasn't. He's standing in what looks like the Roman Colosseum, only back when it was in it's prime. Instead of people in the audience though, there are bears. There are bears sitting in the colosseum. RA is standing in the middle of the arena with only what he has on him, and looks around. Surrounding him, on all sides. Are ten, very large, very angry, very rabid, and very hungry looking grizzly bears. All armed to the teeth. Some have blades on them. One has what looks like laser cannons strapped to it's back, one is a mutant with tentacles instead of feet and bat wings, and the others are all nice and varied. No two are the same. And they all want of piece of RA.*

RA: *this pretty much sums up his reaction*

Next Chapter:

SIDE STORY PONY KOMBAT!!!!

Registered Anonymous vs Rabid Bears x 10

You wanted some action RA. Well ask and ye shall receive. :pinkiehappy:

Also I've decided I'm gonna make these side story Pony Kombat things main events now, just like regular pony kombats. So yeah, for those of you who read the side story and want to participate in this. Go ahead. Just remember to comment on the main story first before you comment on the side story.

Also Registered Anonymous. Since this is your character, like with Gordon Freebrony, you get to approve which comments you want used and you get to decide how the fight goes. So basically, you get to write the fight scene. So yeah... Before the next update, tell me what you wanna have happen via comment, and I will make it happen.

The Previous Night

-Appaloosa-

AIA headquarters

* Meanwhile, at the AIA HQ.*
GR: *kicks door* Can anypony fix this? I think it's broken!
Secretary: Sir, please refrain from kicking the doors. Do you have any idea how strong your bucks are?

(Happens as is)

-The Everfree Forest-

Zecora's hut

Gordon Freebrony vs James Tiberius Kirk

The Gorn

(This was the closest thing I could find to the Gorn fight music, but hey, it works.)

*Both Gordon and Kirk get back on their feet. Kirk opens by throwing a punch, which Gordon dodges. Kirk then throws another one, but Gordon blocks it and throws his own. Kirk dodges it and then throws an uppercut, which hits Gordon right in the chin and knocks him back. Kirk then walks over to Gordon and tries to kick him, but Gordon manages to do a sweep kick while he's on the ground and kicks out Kirk's legs. Gordon then gets back up and tries to kick Kirk in the head, but Kirk manages to roll out of the way and back onto his feet. Gordon runs at him and throws a punch, but Kirk dodges it, grabs Gordon, and throws him into a nearby tree that was behind him. Gordon takes a moment to recover, but as he does he sees Kirk coming at him with another punch. He ducks out of the way and makes Kirk punch the tree, which hurts his hand. Gordon then grabs Kirk by the neck, and then knees him in the stomach, which cause Kirk to double back in pain. Gordon then takes this opportunity to punch Kirk in the face, which knocks him back a little. Gordon then throws another punch, which also hits, then throws another, but Kirk dodges this one and punches Gordon right in the gut. Kirk then brings up his right arm and elbows Gordon in the back, knocking him to the ground. Kirk goes to kick him again, but Gordon rolls out of the way. Kirk runs over to him and tries to step on him, but Gordon grabs his foot and throws it back, making Kirk fall on his ass again as Gordon gets back up. Kirk recovers quickly though. The two of them stare each other down for a moment.

Zecora doesn't even know what to think of what she is seeing. She's just standing there, confused, her stick still raised just in case. Spock watches silently, as does McCoy.

Kirk and Gordon then run at each other. Kirk throws a punch, but Gordon grabs his fist. Gordon then throws his own punch, but Kirk grabs it too. They both hold that spot for several moments, looking right into each other's eyes.

Suddenly, before they can do anything else. Spock walks up to them and nerve pinches them both, which causes them to fall to the floor, unconscious. Spock then looks over to Zecora, who still doesn't even know how to comprehend what she had just seen let alone think of anything about it.

McCoy however, says nothing and looks between Spock and Zecora. He then looks past Zecora for a moment and sees this thing staring back at him from behind a tree. It looks at him for only a moment before it ducks back into the bushes, never to be seen again.

McCoy just passes it off as random wildlife and turns his attention back to what is important.

Author's Note

Status: Edited

Quick Announcement + Schedule Issues

Okay. First thing is first.

Please leave your story comment in the previous chapter so I can keep them all organized.

Okay, good now onto the main event.

Have any of you ever wanted to really talk to me. You know, like really talk to me, not just through PM's or comments or anything like that.

Well good news for you who want to.

NOW YOU CAN!!! :pinkiehappy:

I'm sure that some of you who watch my channel have seen my occasional, often spur the moment, livestream chats from tinychat.com. Well, by the suggestion of several of you, I have decided to schedule one in advance and advertise it here in this story so that you all can be ready for it when it happens and now be suddenly surprised when you see it and then disappointed when you enter only to find out that it's ended.

So, with that in mind, I am going to set aside time this Saturday to talk to you all, and I am telling you about all of it now so that you will know about it when it comes.

So, this Saturday, November 9th at 4:00 pm (Pacific Standard Time), I will be on tinychat waiting to talk to all of you. I really hope to get to know a lot of you. I've seen you all in my comments, but I've only ever really talked to a few of you. So yeah....

I hope to see lots of you there (Especially all of you side story guys :pinkiehappy: )

Once again that's this Saturday, November 9th at 4:00 pm (Pacific Standard Time).

So yeah...

Also I would like to take a moment to address the current release schedule for this story (This is important. So read this.)

You see, I am kind of at a difficult time in my life right now. I just graduated from University, and since I just got back from my vacation to Europe. I really have to start getting off my ass and getting on with my life.

Which, unfortunately means finding a job, my own place, and all that jazz.

So, what does this have to do with this story?

Well you see, in my life I have priorities, and I'm sure most of you do too, and I can't let this story take priority over some other, more clearly important things.

What this means is that if say, I get the opportunity to get interviewed for a job, then obviously I am not going to take the time (and believe me, this takes a lot of time) to work on this story when clearly other, more important things are going on that could affect my life, my future, and my goals.

So there are going to be times when I just don't update on Monday or whatever. Or Wednesday, or sometime two or three days in a row.

Basically what I am saying is, if something regarding my life comes up, then I am going to put this story on the sidelines again so I can focus on that.

Don't worry, I am not leaving this story, far from that. I will still try to keep to the Monday, Wednesday, and Friday schedule I currently have, but if the time comes when I can't meet those deadlines... Well.... I'm sorry.

But yeah. I'm sorry. Life is hitting me pretty hard right now, and I know I just got back, and I'm sorry you all have to suffer for all of this.

But yeah.... Welcome to the real world Razor.... There are not free cupcakes or muffins here.

:fluttersad:

Still.... I have to thank you all for all the support you've given me. If it weren't for you guys, I never would have gotten though any of this or lasted this long.

Thank you... So much.

The Emergency Broadcasting System

This is only a test.

Okay, no

Jason, here is what you do.
Get to Lyra and Bon Bon's house.
See if you can use your new powers to warp you to Canterlot, or open a portal or something.
Get Excalibur.

That name Flag. It sounds really familiar, and for that matter, so does his get up. The buttons on his shirt, especially the smiley face one sparks something in you. You've read the works of Stephen King because you know exactly how Pennywise functions, and this guy reminds you a lot of Randall Flagg, the bad guy in The Stand. There names are practically the same
Why not right? Pennywise is here, so why wouldn't he?

Jason: just nope the hell away from there. If this were a video game, this would be the time that the big final villain shows up early on and slaps you around just to show you that you're a noob. Also, make a mental not to eat fish fingers and custard when you get the chance.

Starting a fight right now is a very ill-advised action. Instead, be VERY diplomatic and mention how the creature that was sent by somepony was defeated. Then say that he should see about getting some work done instead of riding around in carriages. Insinuate that he is a bastard.

Don't die.

Yeah Risen Flag creeps you the fuck out so its time to GTFO and get high on weed with Lyra and Bon Bon. Who knows maybe you'll get some insightful ideas when you're high... or not.

Nope. Nopeity Nopity Nope Nope Nopers, Noperee. NOPE.
Turn around and walk away. He scares the living fuck out of you. Turn around, walk away, get to Lyra's and Bon Bon's house, and smoke enough weed to kill Willy fucking Nelson. That's the only way to erase that creepy ass face from your mind.

Through logic and extreme deductions, your inner Batman and Doctor says that Risen is an asshole. Your inner King Arther senses a great evil. Don't ask why. Oh, Lyra and Bon Bon is calling for you while you were thinking.

Okay, no..... No. No, no, no.... no no no..... Nope.... Nopity nopity nope.....

...

...

...

Maybe...

...

...

...

...

...

...

Yeah, no.

You're not going to do anything right now if it involves him, talking, or otherwise. Your inner King Arthur is sensing an evil so great that getting involved in any way now will get your ass kicked so badly that getting sent to the moon would seem kind, and your inner Batman and Doctor are practically screaming 'RUN!!! RUN RUN RUN RUN!!! WHAT ARE YOU STILL DOING HERE!? F*CKING RUN!!!!! YOU ARE NOT READY FOR THIS YET!!! RUN!!!!!'

Yeah, you'd rather not die right now. Especially since you just got out of the hospital.

Still..... you hardly know this guy. Why does he creep you the f*ck out so much?

Yeah, his name sounds similar to the Stephen King character (yeah, you've read Stephen King, though you mostly know of Pennywise and Flagg from the miniseries more than the books), but the two of them seem to have nothing in common. The pony, Risen Flagg, has a completely different color scheme than you imagine Randall Flagg would have, and he's more nicely dressed. He's wearing a suit for Odin's sake, so of course he doesn't have any buttons on him that you could recognize. That, and judging from just the first time you've met him, he doesn't act much like Randall Flagg did at all. He..... while a little bit full of himself, was for the most part polite... At least as far as you could tell.

Come to think of it, the name aside (as well as the fact that he is a pony), he really does have nothing in common with Stephen King's character Randall Flagg.

So why does he creep you out so goddamn much?

"Umm.... Jason," you suddenly hear Bon Bon say. "Jason." She says again as she waves a hoof in front of you. "Hello, Equestria to Jason."

"What?" You finally say as you pull your eyes away from Risen Flagg's, and then back down to hers. She looks.... confused for a moment, like she wasn't sure what you did. Did you do something? You just stared at Risen Flagg and... ah never mind. "Oh, right..." you say to her as you look between her and Lyra. "Yeah, lets go home."

"Um, all right," Bon Bon says as she and Lyra turn to continue towards their house. You walk with them. You watch as Risen Flag's eyes look away from you as you turn to leave.

jason 1: cast a shield upon yourself, lyra, and bon bon incase there are charlie in the bushes [Missa scuto/mass shield]
2: take your friends home, arm yourself
3: explain to them your paranoia

I second the notion of casting shields over yourself and your friends.

"Missa scutus," you say under your breath as the three of you continue home. Neither Lyra nor Bon Bon notice what you did, but you do. You see watch the light around you flicker for a little bit as an invisible shield suddenly goes up around the three of you. It should protect you from almost anything for the time being.

Why you felt the need to do that, you really don't know. You aren't in any immediate danger now. You don't think. Yeah, that clown pony is still out there, but you know he isn't here right now. You can't explain how, you just know.

Maybe...

Try doing a scan of him with your latin powers to reveal intentions of ill content or evil, discreetly of course, because if you remember correctly, that character could give someone cancer just by looking at them. That sounds way more powerful than what Pennywise could do, and he kicked your ass. Best to not confront a possible evil wizard when you're just now getting back on your feet.

Jason: Say "Revelare veritatem" while thinking of Risen Flagg. ("To reveal the truth") See if that works.

"Ostende veritatem," you say again under your breath. This one almost catches the ears of Lyra as she turns to look at you for a moment, but then looks back to where she was going. Whether or not she heard what you said is beyond you, but it doesn't really matter at the moment.

You close your eyes for a bit and keep walking as you wait for the truth to come to you and.....

You get nothing.

No, really. Nothing shows up. No images, no memories, nothing of any kind to show you any kind of truth. All you get is some kind of grey fog, which really wasn't there at all when you closed your eyes before, so really, in your mind there can only bet two possible explanations.

1.) You still have more to learn about your new Latin based powers. Maybe you used it incorrectly somehow.

Or.

2.) Something blocked it from you. Something.... but what?

Perspective Shift:

Mayor Mare

It's really been absolutely dreadful today here in your office. Really, it has. You're not sure what it is, but the day just hasn't set right with you ever since you returned from Sweet Apple Acres yesterday. It seemed simple enough. There was a minor financing issue with Sweet Apple Acres, and you went to talk to Applejack about it. She was more than happy to talk to you about it, but halfway through your conversation.....

Her little sister and her friends came running out of the forest carrying that human that's been staying in your town recently, and he was.... bleeding... so badly.... You actually thought he might have been dead. Naturally, Applejack and her brother ran off as quickly as they could to get that human to the hospital, leaving you standing there with your mouth agape with all kinds of shock.

From what you've heard. They got him to the hospital and he's fine now, but still... something just doesn't sit right with you about the whole thing. It's been bugging since you saw it yesterday and pretty much all of today.

It's not that you had any kind of problem with the human staying in your town. You've never really had to chance to talk to him personally, but from what you've heard, he's really a nice guy. Shame he just keeps bringing in so much trouble his way. Then again, with a town that has all six elements of harmony in the same place, things are bound to happen. It actually still amazes you to this day that you can still take care of all that needs to be done without raising any kind of city tax. Even though you don't live in a city.

Still.... It's been a blight on your mind since you saw it. He looked badly hurt. He was bleeding like some kind of river, and you just... did nothing. Sure, you knew he was in good hooves with Applejack and her brother, but....

And now here you were. At your desk, with your head in your hooves. Still being haunted by it.

It plagued your mind so much that you didn't even notice the door open at first.

"I'm sorry bu-" You... had to stop right there when you saw who walked in. While these three individuals may not have been ponies that your fair residents of Ponyville might have cared to know. You for sure as Celestia knew who they were. "R..... R-R-R-Risen Flagg." You say as you immediately straighten yourself up and sit up properly as if Celestia herself had just walked in. "I... I'm so sorry I.... I didn't hear you come in, I- I mean I didn't know you were coming and I-" At that, Risen Flagg just held up and hoof and put on a reassuring smile.

"Don't worry, Mayor Mare," he said to you in that soothing voice he has. "The unfortunately startling circumstances are entirely my own fault. After all, it was I that failed to make notice of my impending visit." It was like he said that said that for the explicit purpose of comforting you... and it worked. "May I?" He said as he made a gesture towards the empty seat in front of your desk.

"Oh, of course," you reply to him. "Please, take a seat." And at that, he did so without saying another word.

"So..." You say as you take a moment to regain your composure, and adjust your glasses a little bit. "What brings you to our little town?"

"Well, you see," Risen began as he made himself a bit more comfortable in your chair. "During my campaign, I made it a point to visit several of the small towns neighboring my general constituency. Unfortunately, due to the prevalent work in Canterlot, I found myself unable to make it to Ponyville. And besides," he said as he crossed his hooves. "I find it imperative to get to know as many ponies as possible to garner all of the support I will need if I am to run for the Office of the Prime Minister of Equestria in two to three years time."

"I see," you say. Typical politician. Always trying to climb just a bit higher on the ladder. You would know. "So, what can I do for you?"

"I was hoping," he began again. "If it would provide too much imposition for you if I could arrange for a tour of this lovely town that you are in charge of in order to get to know the vox-populi even better."

"Of course," you respond. That would be no problem at all, and you know just the pony to give this tour. "That would be no problem at all, Mr. Flagg."

"Splendid," he said, seeming very satisfied. "Shall we, Madame Mayor?"

"R-r-right now?" is all you could say. He wanted a tour right now, you weren't prepared for-

"Oh of course not now," he said, as if to calm your potential fears. "I have some obligations to attend to this evening, plus, I know it's getting late, so let's say... Tomorrow morning."

"Oh, that would be perfectly all right." You say to him. He just smiles at you at that. That same photogenic smile he always has. "Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"As of this moment, no but if anything absolutely necessary for my stay, I will not hesitate to notify you immediately." He says as he stand back up.

"I see," you say as you stand up too to meet his gaze. "Well, if you do need anything, anything at all. Just ask, and I will be sure to get it for you." You say as you extend your hoof to him.... and he takes it. The feeling of his hoof on yours... Wow... just wow. "It's an honor to have you in our town." is all you can say to him.

"Thank you, Madame Mayor," he says as he politely bows his head and lets go of your hoof. With that, he turns towards the door and starts walking out with his two associates, who you barely noticed when he walked in, partially because they didn't say anything. Still... that one mare does look a little bit familiar to you. Still...

"Wait!" You say before he can get through the door. He simply turns to look at you, as if inviting you to keep speaking. "If you need somewhere to spend the night, I'm sure we-"

"No need," he says before you can finish what you're about to say. "We've already made arrangements with the local hotel. So there is no need for you to worry about that."

"Oh, of course," you say. "Well, I'll see you tomorrow morning then." Risen doesn't say anything to that. He just makes a reassuring smile, the same one he always does, and walks out of your office with his two associates.

Once he's gone, you let out the long breath you didn't even realize you'd been holding in and sink back into your chair. By Celestia. You don't know what it is about him, but talking to him just makes you feel so.... good. You wonder just how in Equestria that mare deals with spending every second of every day with him.

She must be lucky.

Perspective Shift:

Jason Morgan

It doesn't take you very long to get back to Lyra and Bon Bon's house. When you get there. You walk up to the door.

You open the door.

You get on the floor....

And you.

Walk.

The.

Dino-

At least, that is what you tried to do when you walked in. What happened instead was that you fell flat on your face the second you tried cause your right arm was still feeling quite sore, so it couldn't hold you up really.

"Hey, easy, easy," Lyra said as she and Bon Bon helped you back up and helped you over to their couch.

"Ow," is all you can say.

Eventually, they get you to their couch, and you just relax all muscle control you have and just flop down on it. You flop down like a rag doll and just sit there. By Zeus and Odin your muscles are killing you right now. The doctor said you'd be a little sore, yeah, a little. It hurt like hell for you just to walk here. You almost fell three times on the way after you ran into Risen Flagg. Still... Now you are home. At least... your home here.

Lyra suddenly jumps on the couch next to you and sits in the way she does. Bon Bon just stays where she is on the opposite side of you. The look on her face one of extreme concern. You suppose you can't really blame her for that.

Still, you are home now.

What do you do?

-Side Story-

-The Previous Night-

-The Everfree Forest-

Zecora's Hut

-In the everfree-
Zecora: Whaaaaaa?
Spock: Do not worry yourself over them. They will be fine. I merely rendered them unconscious.
Zecora: To sate my curiosity, now I am keen, please do tell me, what have I just seen? You are like no ponies I've ever met. And you are colored as if in a set.

*Zecora stands in awe of what she has just witnessed*

Zecora: Whaaaaaa-

Spock: Do not worry yourself over them. They will be fine. I merely rendered them unconscious.

Z: To sate my curiosity, now I am keen, please do tell me, what have I just seen? You are like no ponies I've ever met. And you are colored as if in a set.

*Both Spock and McCoy look at each other for a moment, as if deciding what to do, then back at Zecora.*

McCoy: I suppose, we do owe you an explanation.

S: Doctor McCoy. You-

M: I know Spock, I know. I know as well as Jim does, but look at the situation we're in. It's not like the prime directive is matter for much longer is it?

*Spock remains silent, McCoy turns to Zecora.*

M: We should head inside. It's probably not a good idea to stay out here now, what with all the dust we kicked up.

*Zecora just nods her head.*

-The Present-

-The Everfree Forest-

Zecora's Hut

*Kirk and Gordon Freebrony open their eyes to find themselves staring at the ceiling of Zecora's hut. Spock and McCoy are sitting nearby. Zecora is brewing some tea for them.*

-Sweet Apple Acres-

The Edge of the Orchard

BB: ...Woah.
*The duo found themselves at a part of the orchards that was literally turned to dust. There were huge indents on the stems of the trees around, with some stomps that were what remained of their previous glory of as an apple tree. Apples litter and a lot of blood stained the ground. There's a crater in the middle of the wasted parts of the orchard.*
LS: What could do this?
BB: If Ah thought this would be just a boring delivery job, then Ah won't be now... Look at all that blood... Whoever it belonged to, Ah hope he or she is okay. So, investigate?
LS: Something was in your cousin's farm. Whatever it was, it's dangerous... Say, did AJ mentioned any casualties during in one her misadventures?
BB: As far as what I've been told, other than a few minor injuries and and a lot of destroyed buildings, no.
LS: If Ponyville gets this every Tuesday, I'm surprised is town is still on the map.
BB: Ah, guess that's what happens when you have six Elements of Harmony all in one place...

*Braeburn and Little Strongheart find themselves in the part of the orchard where Jason and Francis fought Haypennywise. They see the damage that was done both by them and the hind. They are at a loss for words.*

Braeburn: Woah!

Little Strongheart: What could do something like this?

BB: And Ah thought this would be just another boring delivery job.... Look at all that blood.... Whoever it belonged to, Ah hope he, or she is okay.

LS: Something was in your cousin's farm. Whatever it was, it's dangerous... Say, did Applejack mention any casualties during one of her misadventures?

BB: As far as Ah've been told, other than a few minor injuries and a lot of destroyed buildin's, no.

LS: If Ponyville gets this every Tuesday, I'm surprised the town is still on the map.

BB: Ah guess that's what happens when you have the six elements of harmony all in one place....

*They both stand there for a little while, they both start to feel noticeably uneasy.*

BB: Maybe... Maybe we should head back to the farm... AJ might be gettin home right about now.

LS: Yes, lets.

*They both leave and head back towards the farm.*

-Time Unspecified-

-The Dalek Flagship, The Caesar-

The Corridors

*at Nana's announcement that we're running out of air* Me: Well... Damn. *to Dalek Drone 1* Dalek! Could you fly fast enough with a human holding on to get between the bay doors and the Enterprise?
Steve: What.
Dalek 1: Yes.
Steve: What.
Me: ...Without said human exploding from the pressure differential?
Dalek 1: It is highly probable that any organic life forms attempting such a maneuver would die.
Steve: Thought so. Bronze, that was quite possibly one of the stupidest ideas I've ever heard.
Me: You think you can come up with a better one?
Steve: Yes.
*20 seconds of silence*
Me: Anything yet?
Steve: I'm thinking, I'm thinking! *ding* Eh, never mind. I've got nothing.
(If someone else comments and solves the "getting to the Enterprise" problem, please keep this in as some sort of oblivious comedy thing.)

BRP: Quick, to the port side hangar! The shuttles should have their own life support and it should still function!
Steve: Why didn't this occur to us?
BRP: Remember how we were all terrified of asphyxiation?
Hacker 3: *facepalming* so we forgot that we could simply use the oxygen from the shuttles to keep ourselves alive.
Steve: Really? WHAT THE HELL?
BRP: Relax. Now we have a solution. We can even stay here for a while if necessary and try to fix the ship.
Nana: It is a viable option, providing the shuttle life support system will work. Allow me to perform some calculations.
Hacker 3: Ok.
Nana: done.
Hacker 2: That was quick.
Nana: It's this extra processing space. I don't know why you said I could only be here for 26 hours Hugh.
BRP: It's because the wrist computer can overheat quite dramatically. I keep certain supplies on hand in the event of overheating, but they only last for so long.
Nana: What kind of supplies?
BRP: a few sides of bacon mostly. I can cook on that thing long before the heat gets too much for my suit to compensate for.
Hacker 2.5: When will it be warm enough to cook the bacon on?
BRP: It's about there. Perhaps two more minutes. Anyway, Nana, what were the results of your calculations?
Nana: If we were to try to use the shuttles life support systems to recirculate oxygen throughout the ship, we would be unable to create the proper airflow to allow oxygen to the bridge or engine room. I calculate that in those areas, it would buy any remaining crew perhaps 5 more minutes of working time using all shuttles. The alternative would be moving the individual life-support systems to separate areas to replace the wiring. It can only be done by the dalek engineers as they have no need for oxygen anyway. That would require us all to be away from the ship in any case.
Hacker 2.5: So, it wouldn't work.
Nana: correct.
Steve: wait a second.
Nana: Yes.
Steve: My name badge read Hacker 1., *points to hacker 2* His reads hacker 2. *points to hacker 3* his reads hacker 3. So why in the hell is he hacker 2.5?
Hacker 2.5: My older brother was hacker 5. They gave me this as a joke.
All except hacker 2.5 who had siblings: Oohh!
Hacker 2.5: exactly.

Chekov: Sirs! Please calm down. I may haf a way for you to get to the Enterprise.
BRP: And you didn;t tell us before because?
Chekov: Well, you would need to haf extra oxygen tanks to do so. I can haf suits sent out to your nearest airlock, but not only would someone need to get to them, but they would need to be refilled in order to get to the ship. Any ideas?

Me: Um, can't the Daleks just get the suits? They don't exactly need to breathe, after all. Then, we can refill the suits with the oxygen from the shuttles.
Steve: That may be the smartest solution you've thought up for this whole fiasco, and you didn't even come up with all of it.
Me: I'm gonna quote BRP here: Remember how we were terrified of asphyxiation?
Steve: Touché.

Chekov :Right. I'll send out the suits ASAP. Which airlock are you nearest to?

Nana: Everypony, we are almost at the shuttle bay. Maybe we can't use it to bring back oxygen in the ship, but we should get busy getting to the Enterprise. (!) Dead end ahead!
*Team runs into a locked door*
*A hacker runs face first into it*
Hacker 1: OW! Hey! What gives?!
Nana: With the power gone, the doors here are stuck. Daleks, can you help us?

Me: *to Chekov* Well, we're outside the port side hangar bay since that's where the shuttles are, but without power, we can't get in. The Daleks will hopefully be able to get the doors open for us, but we're stuck until then. By the way, is there some sort of holodeck on the Enterprise?
Chekov: What the hell is a holodeck?
Me: ...Um... never mind, then. *turns* Dalek, can you get us inside the hangar?
Dalek: I obey.

Chekov: Suits are on their way. The Commander sends his regards, but is currently working on the auxiliary generators and cannot oversee this... mission...

The group is still standing in front of the locked door.
BRP: We really should have thought of this BEFORE we left the bridge.
Steve: The asphyxiation thing AGAIN?
BRP: yep. So, what have we to hand?
Hacker 3: I have some cabling.
Hacker 2: I have an electromagnet.
Hacker 2.5: I have a fire extinguisher.
Hacker 4: I have McGyver.
McGyver: Hi.
Everyone else: What?
BRP: What does McGvyver have?
McGyver: a spray hose and an oxygen tank.
Hacker 2.5: We can use the compressed gas to make a torch and burn through the door.
Hacker 3: how are we going to light it?
Hacker 2.5: we can use a dalek...cutting...torch...
BRP: You know, this is really ridiculous.
*dalek cuts door open*

*BRP and all the hackers are still running with the Dalek escorts shortly behind them, surprisingly keeping up despite their lack of legs. They all just finish hearing Nana explain to Chekov on the other end of the coms that they are running out of air.*

Bronze Statue: Well... Damn. *turns to one of the Dalek escorts* Dalek! Could you fly fast enough with a human holding on to get between the bay doors and the Enterprise?

Steve: What.

Dalek Escort 1: Yes.

Steve: What.

BS: ...Without said human exploding from the pressure differential?

DE1: It is highly probable that any organic life forms attempting such a maneuver would die.

Steve: Thought so. Bronze, that was quite possibly one of the stupidest ideas I've ever heard.

BS: You think you can come up with a better one?

Steve: Yes.

*20 seconds of silence later*

BS: Anything yet?

Steve: I'm thinking, I'm thinking!....... Eh, never mind. I've got nothing.

BRP: Wait.... Quick, to the port side hangar! The shuttles should have their own life support and it should still function!

Steve: Why didn't this occur to us?

BRP: Remember how we were all terrified of asphyxiation?

Hacker 3: *facepalming* so we forgot that we could simply use the oxygen from the shuttles to keep ourselves alive.

Steve: Really? WHAT THE HELL?

BRP: Relax. Now we have a solution. We can even stay here for a while if necessary and try to fix the ship.

Nana: It is a viable option, providing the shuttle life support system will work. Allow me to perform some calculations.

H3: Okay.

Nana: done.

H2: That was quick.

Nana: It's this extra processing space. I don't know why you said I could only be here for 26 hours Hugh.

BRP: It's because the wrist computer can overheat quite dramatically. I keep certain supplies on hand in the event of overheating, but they only last for so long.

Nana: What kind of supplies?

BRP: a few sides of bacon mostly. I can cook on that thing long before the heat gets too much for my suit to compensate for.

Hacker 3: When will it be warm enough to cook the bacon on?

BRP: It's about there. Perhaps two more minutes. Anyway, Nana, what were the results of your calculations?

Nana: If we were to try to use the shuttles life support systems to recirculate oxygen throughout the ship, we would be unable to create the proper airflow to allow oxygen to the bridge or engine room. I calculate that in those areas, it would buy any remaining crew perhaps 5 more minutes of working time using all shuttles. The alternative would be moving the individual life-support systems to separate areas to replace the wiring. It can only be done by the dalek engineers as they have no need for oxygen anyway. That would require us all to be away from the ship in any case.

Hacker 3: So, it wouldn't work.

Nana: correct.

Chekov: Sirs! Please calm down. I may haf a way for you to get to the Enterprise.

BRP: And you didn;t tell us before because?

Chekov: Well, you would need to haf extra oxygen tanks to do so. I can haf suits sent out to your nearest airlock, but not only would someone need to get to them, but they would need to be refilled in order to get to the ship. Any ideas?

BS: Um, can't the Daleks just get the suits? They don't exactly need to breathe, after all. Then, we can refill the suits with the oxygen from the shuttles.

Steve: That... That may be the smartest solution you've thought up for this whole fiasco, and you didn't even come up with all of it.

BS: I'm gonna quote BRP here: "Remember how we were terrified of asphyxiation?"

Steve: Touché.

Chekov: Right. I'll send out the suits ASAP. Which airlock are you nearest to?

BRP: *to Chekov* Well, we're outside the port side hangar bay since that's where the shuttles are...

*They turn the corner which leads to the port side hanger... and run into a locked door.... Steve runs face first into it*

Steve: OW! Hey! What gives?!

Chekov: What is it?

BS: *to Chekov* Well, we're outside the port side hangar bay since that's where the shuttles are, you know, without power, the door to the hanger is locked shut, so we can't get in.

BRP: We really should have thought of this BEFORE we left the bridge.

Steve: The asphyxiation thing AGAIN?

BRP: yep. So, what have we to hand?

Hacker 3: I have some cabling.

Hacker 2: I have an electromagnet.

Hacker 5: I have a fire extinguisher.

Nana: Daleks, can you help us?

Dalek Escorts 1 and 2: We obey!

*The two Dalek escorts begin cutting through the doors*

Somewhere Else

*Swimming Dalek, in the room of a tiny little spider, crawls along the ceiling of one of the other corridors. Suddenly, static fills his vision as Slenderpony stands on the ceiling right in front of him. Instinctively, he then drops from the ceiling and transforms into some kind of cheetah... cat.... thing... with TEETH, and then, upon seeing Slenderpony teleport to the ground in front of him, does a 180 and starts running down the corridor faster than Usain Bolt could ever hope to match with Slenderpony hot on his tail. He's leading him away from the auxiliary power generators.*

-The Enterprise-

The Engine Room

*Scotty comes up*

Scotty: Chekov! Who the bloody hell are ya talkin to? I thought ya said you couldn't reach the captain!

-The Bear Dimension-

???

Registered Anonymous vs Rabid Bears X10

Blood Sugar by Pendulum

"Ladies and Gentlemen," the loudspeaker that they inexplicably had suddenly started blaring with an emotionless, almost robotic voice. All of the bears in the audience seemingly roared with joy at the sound of it. All the while, the ten bears surrounding Registered Anonymous stayed their ground, not moving. "We understand that you. Have come tonight." The loudspeakers continued. "To BEAR witness to the sound... of pain... and agony." At this all of the bears kept roaring loudly.

Meanwhile, in the center, RA could no longer keep himself from laughing manically.

"YOU CALL THIS PUNISHMENT!?" He shouted towards the heavens. "THIS IS MORE LIKE A KID IN A CANDY STORE SCENARIO!!!!" He shouted as he pulled out his 9 iron and spun it around like a badass before holding it in front of him like a badass.

"We regret to announce." The loudspeaker continued. "That this is not the case. As Instead. We come tonight to bring you. Registered Anonymous kicking the ever-loving crap out of these ten rabid bears. Ladies and gentlemen. Prepare." Registered Anonymous gripped the handle of the last thing he touched, his trusty 9-iron, tighter in his hands as the atmosphere between him and the bears became so thick that it couldn't be cut with a even the best sword possible. "To hold." The bear directly in front of RA, the one with metal claws on well.... it's claws, dug its claws deeper into the dirt. "Your." The bears in the audience roared even louder with anticipation. "Color."

"IMA KEEELLLLL YOU!!!!" Registered Anonymous screamed as he charged forward with his nine iron raised as the metal clawed bear in front of him roared as loudly as it could and charged towards him, as did all of the other bears in the arena.

RA and the clawed bear charged at each other and leapt. RA with his 9 iron raised and the bear with it's claws raised.... and then they clashed.

RA hit the bear square in the head with his 9 iron, which cracked it's skull so much that it practically didn't even have a skull anymore. RA then spun his 9 iron around a bit, and swung upwards at the bear's face so hard that he knocked it a few feet to the left.

"I am the very model of a modern Major-General,

I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral,"

Registered Anonymous began to sing to himself as he bashed the bear's skull in.

Suddenly, a second bear, with lightsabers attached to all of it's claws, ran forward and slashed at RA, who merely leaned to the side to get out of it's way as the bear went right past him and sliced right through the first bear like it's flesh was paper.

"I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical

From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical;"

The bear then, but some miracle, jumped up, and threw some kind of spinning kick with it's rear claws. While RA couldn't comprehend how in the hell the bear could do this move, he really didn't care. He leaned back Neo-style to dodge the lightsabers on it's rear claws, and as he did, he grabbed the front right, metal claw of the first bear, and tore it off. Yes, he was strong enough to do that.

"I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical,

I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical,"

The bear then landed and swung upwards with it's front claws as it turned around to face RA. RA on the other hand, leaned back again to dodge the claw, spun him around, and stabbed the bear right in the underside of it's mouth with the severed metal bear claw, which stopped the light saber bear right in it's tracks. RA then let go of the claw, jumped up, and with a Guile style flash kick, kicked the metal claw through the bear's mouth and up into it's brain, killing it instantly.

"About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news,

With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse."

"WHERE'S MY CHORUS!!!???" RA screamed at the top of his lungs the moment he landed. AS he did, he held his 9 iron above his head and blocked what looked like two giant, zweihander like blade in the paw of another bear, who was really wielding two of them, and was clad in armor.

"I'm very good at integral and differential calculus;

I know the scientific names of beings animalculous:"

RA then pushed the giant sword back with his freak strength, then spun around and did a spinning kick, knocking the two swords out of the bear's hands. He then followed that up by jumping over the bear and hitting it with an overhead swing from his 9 iron, narrowly avoiding the GIANT LASER that shot right through the bear like butter. As RA flew over the bear he looked to see that it came from the bear with the two laser cannon's on it's back. It's first one had fired, and it's second one was still primed.

"In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,

I am the very model of a modern Major-General."

Registered Anonymous then jumped off of what was left of the sword bear, and then onto the back of the laser bear. As he did, he threw another overheard swing with his 9 iron and destroyed one of the laser canons. More specifically, the one on the left.

"I know our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's;

I answer hard acrostics, I've a pretty taste for paradox,"

He then grabbed the canon on the right side as the bear started thrashing around in an attempt to get him off of him. RA settled this by bashing it in the head once with his 9 iron, then ripping the giant laser canon out of the bear's back, taking some of it's spine with it as he did, pointing it down at the back of the bear's head, and then pulling a loose wire that fired the thing. This blew the bear's head up like an apple.

"I can fire at a target and hit it at least half the time,

or graph out an electron path while using only numbers prime,"

Next, he then turned around, while still on top of the laser bear, spun his 9-iron around a little more, and then threw it upwards into the oncoming path of the mutant-tentacle bear that was bearing right down on him with it's bat wings. RA's 9-iron hit it square in the head, which caused it to loose control and sent it crashing to the ground. RA jumped right off of the carcass of the laser bear before it hit him, then landed on the back of the mutant bear before it could hit the ground, then jumped off of it and into the air.

"I calculate the fall rate of a bullet shot a thousand yards,

and perforate the thick heads of a hundred military guards."

Right as RA jumped off into the air off of the mutant bear's back, he turned himself around, aimed the laser right at it, and then fired. He hit one if it's wings, disintegrating it instantly and causing it to roar in pain as it crashed into the carcass of the laser bear with it's mouth open.

"I can make a simulation of an atom bomb and build one too,

or flank a dozen men and ambush ten of them out of the blue"

RA then landed back in the center of the arena like a boss right as another bear off in the distance was aiming an anti-tank rifle at him. RA didn't even move as his 9-iron fell down from the sky and landed on the rifle bears head, which caused it to bounce back up into the air again. RA then leapt back up into the air as a bear with rocket boosters dashed right past him and grabbed the giant laser cannon in it's metal teeth. RA was unharmed though, as he did a backflip in the air and and caught his 9-iron as he fell back into his hands.

"from SMGs to RPGs I carry quite an arsenal,

and skip around a warzone like a subatomic particle."

The bear ran right past RA before it's jets shut off and it skidded to a halt as it turned itself around to face RA while bearing it's metal Teeth. RA on the other hand, did not back down.

"WHERE IN ALL THAT IS GOOEY IS MY MOTHAF***IN CHORUS!!!??" RA screamed at the bear as it primed it's boosters and charged right at him. RA quickly help his 9-iron in both his hands and held it horizontally at the oncoming bear. Right as the bear reached RA, the two collided and RA stuck his 9-iron in the bear's mouth horizontally to keep it from coming forward. Because of it's speed though, it pushed him back just a few feet before RA, with his immense strength, dug his feet into the ground and prevented the bear from moving any further, even with it's jet engines.

"Every solider out here wants to kill me for my curiousity,

I wage war on the whole damn world because of my tenacity,"

RA and the jet bear fought each other for their ground for a few moments. RA pushed the bear's metal mouth back as best he could, but the jet bear was tenacious. The jet bear then apparently had enough, and it turned both it's jets around facing RA. RA, seeing this, pulled his 9-iron out of the bear's mouth and forced it downwards. He then jumped over the left of the bear and hit both the bear's jets with a stream of cookie dough from the pocket dimension he keeps it in. The amount of cookie dough he fired actually managed to jam the bear's jets, and he had to do a double take for it to comprehend what the hell just happened. That was it's mistake however, as when it looked back at RA, he was already running towards him with his 9 iron raised. The next thing it knew, RA was beating it's skull into the ground with his 9-iron until foam was coming out of it's mouth, and then kept going.

"In matters combat tactical and physics theoretical,

I am the very model of a modern major general."

As RA kept beating the jet bear into the dirt with his 9 iron, the mutant bear, who was still alive apparently. He came up at RA from behind him, opened it's mouth, and bit into his torso. Unfortunately, since RA was wearing armor made out of nokia phones, this did little more than break it's teeth, and even jam a few of them into RA's armor. Try as it might, it couldn't move them.

"Shhhhh......" RA said as he gently petted the bear's head with his left hand, and then, in one swift motion, with the bear's mouth still on his torso, he jumped up and did a backflip. This, since the bear was still grabbed onto him by it's mouth, twisted the bear's head 360 degrees and broke it's neck. It would not be getting back up again.

"Then I can write a washing bill in Babylonic cuneiform,

And tell you ev'ry detail of Caractacus's uniform:

As RA landed, a loud BANG noise went off, and RA just reached up with his free hand and caught the Anti-tank bullet. He then quickly spun around and threw it back at the sniper bear so fast that it actually went through it's skull as if a real bullet would.

"In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,

I am the very model of a modern Major-General."

One more bear, one that was part cyborg, ran at RA with it's own laser claws and metal teeth primed, but RA simply held out his 9-iron vertically and waited. The bear then bit down on the 9-iron, but couldn't close it's mouth. RA then lifted the cyborg bear, but it's mouth, with his 9-iron, spun it around several SEVERAL times, and then using it's own forward momentum, threw it into the last remaining bear, which was a normal bear that had sat out for most of the fight. Cause it was well... normal.

The cyborg bear broke apart upon impact, but the last bear, while having just been hit in the face with another, robot bear, was still standing. True, it was down on it's knees, but it was still standing. However, much of the cyborg bear's body was still on top of it, and it couldn't move out from under it. The cyborg bear's head was also separated in half due to RA's 9-iron.

As the last bear tried to climb out from under the cyborg bear. It looked forward at RA, and what it saw.....

"In fact, when I know what is meant by "mamelon" and "ravelin",

When I can tell at sight a Mauser rifle from a Javelin,

When such affairs as sorties and surprises I'm more wary at,

And when I know precisely what is meant by "commissariat","

RA sang as he danced towards the last bear Gangnam Style. The bear.... quite literally was to scared to even comprehend what it was seeing.

Then, after a few moments of dancing, RA reached the downed normal bear. The bear looked up at RA with it's eyes filled with absolute horror.

"When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery,"

RA then raised his 9-iron....

And...

*CENSORED*

Too BRUTAL for a Teen rated story

"But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,

I am the very model of a modern Major-General."

RA sang at last as he held his, now extremely bloody, 9-iron over his shoulders. With that finally done, he turned around and looked back at all the bears in the audience. All of them had their mouths to the floor. Some quite literally in fact.

RA just stayed where he was. And remained silent.

He had been victorious.

However, what he failed to remember, was that he was in... an arena... filled.... with bears.

Suddenly, every bear in the audience ROARED WITH ALL THE RAGE THEIR BODIES COULD POSSIBLY CONTAIN as they started running towards the arena and jumping in. All running towards RA with the FULL INTENT TO TEAR HIM LIMB FROM LIMB FROM LIMB!!!!

"COME GET SOME MOTHAF****AS!!!!!!!!" RA shouted as he raised his 9-iron into the air and then charged forward at onslaught of oncoming bears.

Before you ask. NO!!! The next chapter will not feature RA vs the Bears round 2. So yeah... Time to move on. RA however, can decide what happens next in his comments, but the PONY KOMBAT IS OVER!!! So yeah. Time to move on people.

Author's Note

Status: edited

Resist Temptation (or do you?)

Comments in favor of getting high: 4

Comments not in favor of getting high: 9

Comments that could be either/or: 2

Suddenly, time in the story seems to freeze and everyone stops what they are doing, quite literally in fact. In fact, it appears more as if somebody hit the pause button on reality rather than simply freezing time.

Equally suddenly, as soon as this happens, the avatar of RazortheAwesome appears in the room Q style.

"CONGRATULATIONS!"

He shouts to all of you as a bunch of colorful lights come up out of nowhere and confetti and streamers fall down from the ceiling Pinkie-Pie style.

"You've managed to resist temptation and NOT want to get high immediately after waking up from staring into the face of a Lovecraftian..... Well, more like Stephen Kingian, but that's beside the point, horror and surviving it. Cause come on, REALLY..... Think about it. You've just seen stuff that is what nightmares are made out of. Worse in fact cause in this universe, the stuff nightmares are made of actually has a physical presence... It's Nightmare Moon. Yeah, Cthulhu, Nyarlathotep, Yog-Sothoth, they all pretty much make Nightmare Moon look like a tiny, adorable puppy.... which they will then proceed to drown in a river in space for no other reason than it's cute and cuddly.

"But yes. Since SO MANY of you expressed a rather strong desire to just say 'f*ck that' and get high anyway when Jason was in the hospital. I thought I would give you all a little test. Really, the entire point of having Jason returning to Lyra and Bon Bon's house and doing nothing but flopping on the couch was all an elaborate setup just to put you guys in a position to see if you would actually do it. I'm surprised none of you caught on to that.

"So you've passed. And I have to say. I am so proud of you.... Well..... most of you at least..... some of you....... Okay I'm proud of all of you. Especially YOU, Adrian (that probably isn't your name but it was worth it to mess with the heads of all the Adrians in the world). As a reward. You will get a special bonus chapter at the end of this one for next time. What will that bonus chapter be? Well, you'll just have to read the chapter and find out won't you. *insert evil smile here* But yes. Since the majority of you have elected to NOT get high and instead do other things, only the non getting high comments will be used. So yes. With that out of the way, let's get back to the story."

And with that, the avatar of RazortheAwesome suddenly disappeared in the same manner in which he appeared, taking all of the confetti and streamers with him, and time/reality had begun to flow normally again.

Jason, rest up. You're going to need it.

Jason: go to sleep.
You'll need it.

Sleep you half-dead bastard.

Relax on the couch, and relieve the soreness in your muscles with magic, but be weary

Action: Take a rest. Hopefully that have the same logic as RPG's and get you fully healed.

Do the 2 of the 3 S's of life:
Shit - seriously, when was the last time you did that?
Shower - again, when was the last time you did that?
...and then sleep. Before you ask, no, sleep is not of the 3 S's of life.

Despite just coming out of the hospital, and being asleep for well over 24 hours of what they told you is true, all you wanna do right now is just get some rest. Or at the very least, just sit where you are right now and not do anything for a while. It hurts to move enough as it is. At least your left arm feels fine.

"You... you want some water?" Bon Bon suddenly asks. You were lost there for a moment, so you forgot that she was standing right there.

"Yeah, sure," you say to her. "That'd be fine." You are kind of thirsty. Without another word, Bon Bon disappears into the kitchen and you hear the sound of water running a few moments later. While you wait you look over to Lyra, whose still sitting next to you. She's looking at you with a look on her face that's a mix of both worry, and having no idea what to say. You don't really know what to say to her either, to be honest.

It doesn't take very long for Bon Bon to come back, and when she does, she walks into the room with a glass of water balanced on her back in a way that you think probably isn't a good idea for an earth pony. You could chalk this up to her just being used to this, since she's clearly not a unicorn and all, but your first intuition turns out to be right, as on her way towards you, she accidentally hits her front right hoof on the corner of the coffee table, which causes the glass to fall over and shatter on the floor. If you had to guess, she probably wasn't paying that much attention to where she was going cause all her attention was on you.

"Oh, Celestia!" Bon Bon shouts as soon as that happens.

"You okay Bonnie?" Lyra asked, sounding more worried than she needed to be.

"I'm fine," Bon Bon replies before she turns her attention back to you. "I'll get you another one, just-"

"Wait!" You say before she can say another word. Something just crossed your mind.... you need to try this.

Slowly, you get up off of the couch. Lyra tries to stop you, but you gently push her hoof away. You then move over to the shattered remains of the glass and slowly get on one knee. Thankfully you don't step on any of it. Bon Bon just steps away for a moment.

You look at the broken glass and water on the floor for a moment. Then, you hold out your hand as if you were holding the glass.

"Reforma in manu mea," you say aloud, and the moment those words leave your mouth, the shards of the glass, as if by some unseen force or magic, all come into your hand and repair themselves as if they were never even broken. Not only that, but the water comes up off of the floor as well and moves itself back into the glass.

So... all of what you've been doing with this wasn't just a fluke... You actually can do it.

Lyra and Bon Bon can only stare with their mouths hanging open. Which is probably the same reaction you'd give if you saw something like this. Slowly, you put the glass on the coffee table and sit back down on the couch. Lyra and Bon Bon keep their eyes on the glass for several moments, as do you. Even all of the microbes and germs that might have been on the ground are gone from the glass and water. The water is as pure as when it came from the faucet. You have no idea how you know that... You just... do.

"I'll..... I'll get you another one." Bon Bon says as she walks back into the kitchen. You can't really blame her for not wanting to touch that glass. Even though you know it's safe, you kind of don't want to either.

Eventually, Lyra tears her eyes away from the glass of water, and then at you.

Get some food, chump-with-a-lack-of-calories. That belly isn't going to defend itself from a possible assassination in your sleep.

"Um... Jason," she finally says to you. "You want me to.... run out for a pizza or something?" She flashes you an innocent looking smile as she says this.

"You have pizza here?" is all you can bring yourself to say. What, you're kind of surprised about that.

"Yeah," Lyra says, looking a little confused. "Of course we do."

"Please tell me you have pepperoni," you say without thinking.

"What's pepperoni?" she responds, and suddenly from your perspective things look awful.

"Nevermind," you say. Of course they wouldn't have it. They're herbivores. While you have little doubt that they can grasp the concept of what a pizza is, it makes sense that meat wouldn't even be an option for them. "Yeah, yeah I'd like that." you say to her. "Just get whatever."

"All right," Lyra says as she hops off of the couch and walks towards the door. She seems uneasy for some reason. Then again, you would be too if you were her. She probably just wants to get out of the house for a little while.

Also, ask if Lyra or Bon Bon could go get Spike. Send a letter to Celestia. She seemed to be 'in the know', so if anyone will know exactly what Haypennywise was, she would. If not, she should be told. You can plan with her, so tell Fax Machine - I mean, Spike - to send her a letter about it. Also, ask if perhaps there's someone she knows and trusts implicitly who is strong enough to assist who has a lot of free time on their hooves, to teach you something about how to fight with magic. Any little bit helps.

Tell either Lyra and Bon Bon to get to Spike and tell him to send a letter to the Princesses.

1: Has Celestia been told about what happened in the forest with that Pennywise... pony... thing? If not, I recommend you inform her about that ASAP. Because, y'know, rulers tend to want to know when horrifying abominations against nature are roaming around their lands, attacking their citizens.

Suddenly, something dawns on you, and it hits you like a brick to the face (you really need to come up with a better metaphor).

"Lyra wait!" you say to her just as she opens the door. Before she can leave she turns to face you. "While you're out..." you begin to say. "Do you think you could swing by the library and ask Spike to send a message to Celestia if he hasn't already." You really hate to ask her this, but you can barely move as it is, and you really feel like this has to get done now. "Tell her what's going on, and tell her..." you begin to say, but you pause for a moment. Part of you doesn't really want to say this out loud while she's around, bit it is important. "Something bad is about to happen." And just as you say that, Bon Bon walks back into the room with another glass of water. "I can feel it. I don't know how, but I just can." Those words hang heavily in the air for several moments.

"A..... All right," Lyra says before she walks out the door and closes it behind her. That's it. Whether or not that gets done is entirely in Lyra's hooves right now.

You have no idea how, but if Spike was able to send a message to the princess before when Twilight was chasing you, then he should be able to do it again. This time though, it would be more important.

Without saying anything, Bon Bon walks over and offers you the glass of water, which you take with your good hand.

"Do you need anything else?" she asks you with the same look of uneasiness that Lyra had.

"No, no thanks," you say to her as you take another sip of water. "I'm all right." Without saying anything else, Bon Bon just nods and heads upstairs. You just stay where you are for a moment with the glass of water in your hand. Somehow.... even though you are thirsty.... it's not what you want right now.

Put up a shield around the house with your powers.

shield house when the ponies fall asleep

Speaking of which, summons a bunch of barriers. One for you room, a pair for Lyra and Bon Bon, one plus seven for your hidden stash of weed, one on that cereal box of Cheerios (don't know why, they make you happy), one for all the windows, INDESTRUCTIBLE WALLS... INDESTRUCTIBLE WALLS EVERYWHERE. Oh, and an triggered alarm on the welcome mat that will jolt you awake if you go to sleep.

The thought does occur to you to put a shield around the entire house, but you figure you'll wait until Lyra gets home. Just in case she can't get inside. Still.....

"Lyram prótege," you say. Hopefully that will do something to protect her. Then again.... "Ut parietes domus indissolubili," you say. That should hopefully make the house indestructible. At least, you hope it does. You're still not really sure how this power works exactly.

Wait...

When you were on earth, that man told you to read some book to research something, but before you could, you were tp'd to this dimension. Its bout damn time you read this book as you put it off for too long, so depending if you have it with you, get it out, and read that &@$# until you can speak it out word for motherbucking word........or smoke some pot before doing this to put a comedy element in this story

Reflect on the fight you and your Great Grandfather engaged in. Remember that he summoned a Silver Knife Storm and that it was pretty effective. Realize that your Grandfather summoned whatever he desired in his fight. You remember that book the Captain gave you before you ended up in Equestria. Summon that book with your Latin Powers, it may hold the key to your salvation.

meditate
try to see and feel the power within yourself

Silas... That old man from the boat. The Sons of Dunwich guy. He gave you some kind of latin dictionary when you met him. You never really got a change to read it cause well, when you went to sleep, you woke up here, and obviously you didn't bring it with you cause you didn't sleep with it, but still....

You remember that during the fight with the clown demon pony.... thing, that your great-grandfather was able to summon knives out of the air. He could summon whatever he wanted. If he could do that, then maybe...

"Accerso librum Latinam," you say aloud, and like with before, as you say it. It appears in your hand. You're... actually surprised that worked. It's the same book, imperfections and all. You almost didn't think it would for a second. You don't waste a moment opening it and reading it. This may hold the key to your survival.

And your heart sinks to the core of the planet the moment you see what's on the first page.

Nothing.

The page is blank.

You immediately turn to the next page, but it's blank too, as is the next, and the next, and the next. The entire book is blank. How? How could it....

And suddenly the truth hits you like a ton of knives (there, that's more original). Your great-grandfather summoned those knives from nothing. They were something that was created from his mind. He knew what he wanted to summon, he knew what they looked like and what they were. You knew what you wanted to summon, it was the book, but you had no idea what was in it. So what you ended up summoning was a book that looked exactly like what Silas gave you, but is blank because you have no idea what was in that book.

Then at that point, you realize something.

Every time you've done something with these powers, you've always seen it happen in your head as you do it. After all, when you repaired the glass of water earlier, you saw it happen in your head as you said the words. It's not just the words that are giving you power, but your own mind, your own imagination as well. You have to think, imagine what you want to have happen as you say the words.

The words may as well be meaningless, they are merely a conduit for what you come up with in your own imagination. It worked before cause you knew exactly what you wanted to do. If you want to do this again.... you have to know what you want to have happen. You're still not sure why this is only specific to Latin, but if this is true, multiple commands can do the same thing. All that matters is what you are imagining happening as you say them.

So, basically, you can't summon the book because you haven't read it, and because you haven't read it, you have no idea what's in it and can't create it again.

This only causes you to drop the book and slump down into the couch even further. You still have a lot to learn with these powers. Perhaps tomorrow, you could experiment a little, test them out. Right now though, you could practically fall asleep where you are.

BONUS CHAPTER!

Ghost Sombra
Do something.

Perspective Shift:

Ghost Sombra

You are the ghost of king Sombra that is "haunting" Twilight Sparkle.

What do you do?

-Side Story-

The Present

-Ponyville-

Sweet Apple Acres

*Sweet Apple Acre's Barnhouse.*
*Door opens to reveal Appleflacks*
Brauburn: AJ!
Applejack: Brauburn?
(I'm not sure this short part gave it a dramatic pause, but I'm stinking to it! Sticking, I mean.)

*Braeburn and Little Strongheart return to the Sweet Apple Acres farmhouse and open the door to discover Applejack, Big Macintosh, and Applebloom have all returned home. They're all naturally shocked to see them.*

Applejack: Braeburn!?

Braeburn: Cousin Applejack!

*Dramatic pause*

...

...

...

...

...

*Suddenly, Applejack runs up to Braeburn and hugs her cousin. He returns her hug.*

BB: It's good to see you cous.

AJ: Good to see you to Braeburn.

*They let go, Applejack turns to Little Strongheart.*

AJ: Little Strongheart?

Little Strongheart: *doing her best Braeburn impression* Howdy.

*They all share a laugh at that.*

AJ: Can't say Ah expected to see you.

LS: It's good to see you again too.

*They hug.*

AJ: What brings ya'll out here?

BB: Well uh..... uh..... uh..... uh....

LS: *under her breath so nopony hears* By Celestia, please tell me you came up with something you could've told her......... Oh my Celestia.... you didn't did you?

-The Everfree Forest-

Zecora's hut

-In the Everfree-
GF: Uggghhh.... What happened? *feels lump on head*
Kirk: I feel like I attacked an asshole and somehow lost.
Zecora: Shh, my visitors from afar, it is not often I give ghosti to those who have seen so many stars. Drink of this brew, and better feeling will be you.
*both drink tea*
Kirk: Right, bones.... What did you tell her?!?!?!?!

*Kirk and Gordon Freebrony are waking up still feel like crap since they did just try to kill each other after all.*

Gordon Freebrony: Ugh.... What happened?

Kirk: I feel like I attacked an asshole and somehow lost.

Zecora: Zecora: Shh, my visitors from afar, it is not often I give ghosty to those who have seen so many stars. Drink of this brew, and better feeling will be you.

*Kirk just looks at his tea for a moment, but after he sees Gordon drink his, he drinks some too.*

K: Right... Bones, what did you tell her?

McCoy: Enough for her to know that she can trust us.

*Gordon Freebrony laughs to himself for a bit.*

GF: I don't believe it. You actually got Spock to let you violate the prime directive.

*They all stare at him for a moment.*

-Appaloosa-

Train Station

*Appaloosa train station*
Workers are moving around cargo from place to place. Namely equipment for the Cherry Jubilee's workplace, wood and steel for construction, and some other things of the Buffalo. Until, some pony noticed unlisted cargo.
Worker: Hey Heavy, check this is out. Where do ya think this goes?
Heavy: Seems like an contraption mean't for somethin' that goes to the same place other weird shipments go. I think we should leave that ta Sunglasses.
*Bright pony with sunglasses appears out of no where*
Sunglasses: Ya called?
Heavy and Worker: Ah!
Worker 1: For al' what Celestia despise, stop sneaking up on us like that! Do we have to go through this every Thursday?!
Sunglasses: Well, howdy to you too, Mornin' Juice! Bright and early as always, ain'tcha?
Morning: That still doesn't mean Ahm prone to heart aches!
Heavy: Sometimes Ah wonder what you've been do'in with that son of a fancy gun Grey Rebl...
Sunglasses: That's classifiahd. Ah know it ain't no secret half of the town enlisted into a "special training operation" in an interest for good security for Appaloosa by the government, but we gotta keep quiet about what we do incase of any leaks. Then again, this town is pretty much is a headquarters for the military, made of cowponies and farmers.
Heavy: There you go with them same excuses with all them fancy words...
Morning: Anyways, ain't this somethin' for your 'headquarters'?
Sunglasses: Hmm. Seems like it. But Ah haven't been told anythin' about it. I'll check it in just in case.
Morning: Before ya go, can at least tell what this is? It's makin' me antsy...
Sunglasses: Is because of how big it is or is it because of the time-mathimatical-thingy on it?
Morning: Both.
Sunglasses: Ah have no idea.

*Workers were moving cargo from place to place, both on and off the train. Some was wool and steel for construction and other things, others were being stored for other trains, until two workers opened up a door to a boxcar, only to be met by a bunch of strange ponies resembling engineers and scientists they've never seen before, as well as an unlisted cargo.*

Worker 1: So, where's this going to?

Engineer: That's classified. Nothing you need to know about?

Worker 1: Classified? What do ya-

*Another worker stops him and gets a good look at the box*

Worker 2: Seems like an contraption mean't for somethin' that goes to the same place other weird shipments go. I think we should leave that ta Sunglasses.

*Suddenly from behind them a bright pony wearing sunglasses appears out of nowhere.*

Sunglasses: Ya called?

Both Workers: Ah!

Worker 1: For al' what Celestia despise, stop sneaking up on us like that! Do we have to go through this every Thursday?!

Sunglasses: Well, howdy to you too, Mornin' Juice! Bright and early as always, ain'tcha?

Worker 1: That still doesn't mean Ahm prone to heart aches!

Worker 2: Sometimes Ah wonder what you've been do'in with that son of a fancy gun Grey Re-... *the other pony silences him, but the sunglasses pony just cracks a smile.*

Sunglasses: That's classifiahd. Anyways, what do we got here?

Worker 1: Ah don't know. Ain't it somethin' for your 'headquarters'?

Sunglasses: Hmm. Seems like it. But Ah haven't been told anythin' about it. I'll check it in just in case.

*Engineer from before steps forward.*

Engineer: I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid we-

*Suddenly, one of the other engineer ponies in the car puts a hoof on his shoulder and just gives this weird smile at him. At that, the engineer pony seems to relax a bit.

Engineer: My apologies. It's all yours.

Sunglasses: Thank you. Now how 'bout you two help me with this thing? *Says to the two workers*

*Both the workers lift it off the train.*

Worker 1: Before ya take it away, can at least tell what this is? It's makin' me antsy...

Sunglasses: Is because of how big it is or is it because of the time-mathimatical-thingy on it?

Worker 1: Both.

Sunglasses: Ah have no idea.

Sherif Silverstar's house, a few moments later.

Setting: Appleloosa, residential area
Sheriff Silverstar walks home after a long day, tired from all of the bustling commotion of the train arriving in town and the fact that the government ponies quickly ushered many of them away before anypony could get a good look at the marked crates, especially the one in the large unmarked boxcar. He walked through his front door and taking off his badge, proceeded towards the kitchen, when suddenly he was hit from behind with a blunt object.
Several Hours Later....
He awoke to find himself in a dark room, tied to a chair, more specifically, his basement as he recognized the curtains that his darling wife put up last week to, in her words, brighten the room up some. As the dimly lit basement came into focus, he saw that across from him sat a doppelganger.
Silverstar: What in tarnation is this?!
Doppelganger: Good, he's awake.
He looked around and found himself surround on all sides by a mixture of various ponies and changelings.
Silverstar: Changelings?!
Changeling 1: Yes.
Silverstar: How long have yall been in MY town?
Changeling 2: Long enough to replace a few members of your town.
Silverstar: What?
Changeling 2: Well, some of us recently got here on your afternoon express from the desert.
Silverstar: Some? You mean several of yall were already here?
Silverstar's Wife: Oh don't act so surprised, dear, I mean after all, it's not like you could tell the difference between us and the regular ponies. We have gotten quite adept at the art of deception over the past few months.
Silverstar: WHERE'S MY WIFE?!
Silverstar's Wife: Oh, she's out in the desert. Buried. Alive.
Silverstar: You sons o' bitches!
Changeling 3: Please, Sheriff, your screams fall on deaf ears.
Silverstar: When I break free I will...
A glint of metal appeared in the darkness as a single shot rang out, the bullet piercing through his head, rendering the once proud sheriff of Appleloosa dead, now to be replaced by his double.
Changeling 4: That escalated quickly.
???: He was starting to annoy me.
Changeling 5: What shall we do now, Miss?
???: Proceed with the plan. You six *pointing at the originals from Appleloosa and the Sheriff's double* keep to your posts. The day is coming and we must be prepared for it.
Changeling 6: And the rest of us?
???: We return to Ponyville and Canterlot where we are expected. Our orders are clear now that the package has been delivered. MOVE OUT!
Changelings: Yes, Ma'am!
Changeling SIlverstar: What about his body, Miss Derpy Hooves?
Derpy: Bury next to his wife's. I'm sure they'll make for a fine couple in the afterlife.
They all proceed outside, one taking off with the body of Silverstar as Derpy floats wistfully in the air of Appleloosa, looking down upon the cooling bustle of the desert town, the train station and yard still alight with frantic work.
Derpy: The stage is set and the players are in place for the curtain call, Risen Flag.

*Sheriff Silverstar walks home after a long day, tired from all of the bustling commotion of the train arriving in town and the fact that the government ponies quickly ushered many of them away before anypony could get a good look at the unmarked crates, especially the one in the large unmarked boxcar. He walked through his front door and taking off his badge, proceeded towards the kitchen, when suddenly he was hit from behind with a blunt object.*

-An unspecified amount of time later-

*He awoke to find himself in a dark room, tied to a chair, more specifically, his basement as he recognized the curtains that his darling wife put up last week to, in her words, brighten the room up some. As the dimly lit basement came into focus, he saw that across from him sat a doppelganger.*

Silverstar: What in tarnation is this?!

???: Good, he's awake.

*He looked around and found himself surround on all sides by a mixture of various ponies and changelings.*

Silverstar: Changelings?!

Changeling 1: Yes.

Silverstar: How long have yall been in MY town?

Changeling 2: Long enough to replace a few members of your town.

Silverstar: What?

Silverstar's Wife: Oh don't act so surprised, dear, I mean after all, it's not like you could tell the difference between us and the regular ponies. We have gotten quite adept at the art of deception over the past few months.

Silverstar: WHERE'S MY WIFE?!

Silverstar's Wife: Oh, she's out in the desert. Buried. Alive.

Silverstar: You sons o' bitches!

Changeling 3: Please, Sheriff, your screams fall on deaf ears.

Silverstar: When I break free I will...

*A glint of metal appeared in the darkness as a single, almost silent, shot rang out, the bullet piercing through his head, rendering the once proud sheriff of Appleloosa dead, now to be replaced by his double.

Changeling 4: Well, that escalated quickly.

???: He was starting to annoy me.

Changeling 5: What shall we do now?

???: Proceed with the plan. You six *pointing at the originals from Appleloosa and the Sheriff's double* I trust you remember what your mission is. Now get to work. The day is coming and we must be prepared for it.

Changeling 6: And the rest of us?

???: We will return to Canterlot where we are expected. Our orders are clear now that the package has been delivered. MOVE OUT!

Changelings: Yes, Ma'am!

Changeling SIlverstar: What about his body, my Queen?

Queen Chrysalis: Bury next to his wife's. I'm sure they'll make for a fine couple in the afterlife.

*They all proceed outside, one taking off with the body of Silverstar as Derpy floats wistfully in the air of Appleloosa, looking down upon the cooling bustle of the desert town, the train station and yard still alight with frantic work.*

Queen Chrysalis: The stage is set and the players are in place for the curtain call, Risen Flag.

Time Unspecified

-The Enterprise-

Meanwhile on the USS Enterprise, in the cargo hold:
Roseluck, places the third crate full of exploding mechanical spiders, as per the request of BronzeStatue, next to the other boxes, each one labeled: WARNING - MECHANICAL SPIDERS.
Roseluck: *dials phone* Hey, yeah, it's me.
Daedaltheus: Did you deliver them?
Roseluck: Yeah but I've run into a slight problem.
DXIV: Oh?
Roseluck: HOW DO I GET OUT OF HERE!?
DXIV: The same way you got in.
Roseluck: THEY CREW IS ON ITS WAY BACK IN AND THEY ARE BLOCKING THE ENTRANCE!
DXIV: You could just kill them.
Roseluck: I know that but...
DXIV: Come on. Just last week you killed that entire ninja clan hiding out in the mountains. While they were wearing invisibility cloaks and stalking you to kill you.
Roseluck: They had it coming and you told me to kill them.
DXIV: So then just kill the crew of the Enter...
Lily (background of the phone call): Daedaltheus, lunch is ready.
DXIV: Tell you what. Snap their necks and call me in five, kay?
Roseluck: DON'T YOU HANG UP ON ME YOU DIRTY MOTHERF- *click*
Roseluck: It could be worse. *starts humming this*

Somewhere

*Roseluck, places the third crate, as per the request of BronzeStatue, next to the other boxes, each one labeled: WARNING - MECHANICAL SPIDERS.*

Roseluck: *dials phone* Hey, yeah, it's me.

Daedaltheus: Did you deliver them?

Roseluck: Yeah, but I've run into a slight problem.

DXIV: Oh?

Roseluck: HOW DO I GET OUT OF HERE!?

DXIV: The same way you got in.

Roseluck: THEY CREW IS ON IT'S WAY BACK IN AND THEY ARE BLOCKING THE ENTRANCE!

DXIV: You could just kill them.

Roseluck: I know that but...

DXIV: Come on. Just last week you killed that entire ninja clan hiding out in the mountains. While they were wearing invisibility cloaks and stalking you... to kill you.

Roseluck: They had it coming, and you told me to kill them.

DXIV: So then just kill the crew of the Enter-

Lily: *background of the phone call* Daedaltheus, lunch is ready.

DXIV: Tell you what. Snap their necks and call me in five, kay?

Roseluck: DON'T YOU HANG UP ON ME YOU DIRTY MOTHERF- *click*

Roseluck: *Sighs* Well, it could be worse. *starts humming this*

The Engine Room

-On the Enterprise-
Chekov: Sir, I haf been in communication with >> Grey Rebl >> Broniesrponies2 >> SwimmingDalek98 and >> Bronze Statue. They haf need to get to our ship. I sent out spare suits for them, while they will use their shuttles' life support to re-fill the tanks enough to get to the Enterprise.
Scotty: Uggh! I'm a bloody idiot! Chekov, keep in contact with them. I'm going to jerry-rig the shuttles together to get more life support and to re-activate the powah.
Chekov: Aye, sir.

Chekov: Sir, I haf been in communication with BRP, Nana and the hackers. They haf need to get to our ship. I sent out spare suits for them, while they will use their shuttles' life support to re-fill the tanks enough to get to the Enterprise.

Scotty: Uggh! I'm a bloody idiot! Chekov, keep in contact with them. I'm going to jerry-rig the shuttles together to get more life support and to re-activate the powah.

Chekov: Aye, sir.

-The Dalek Flagship, The Caesar-

The hackers, BRP and Bronze Statue arrive in the port shuttle bay and sprint to the various shuttles. BRP, Bronze Statue and hackers 1-5 including 2.5 arrive in the first shuttle. They look out at the other, still running hackers and take note of the colour of their shirts.
BRP: I have this horrible feeling.
Bronze Statue: The feeling that wearing a red shirt is highly disadvantageous?
BRP: Yes.
Virtually all of the hackers wearing red shirts run into the same shuttle. BRP goes and bangs his helmet against the wall repeatedly. It leaves a small dent.
Bronze Statue: Ummm, what do you think is going to happen?
BRP: That shuttle is going to crash in a horribly dramatic way.
The hackers get their various asses in gear and get all of the shuttles up and proceeding gently towards a still closed hangar door as the air cycles out of the bay. The "red" shuttle takes the lead and waits just in front of the door. BRP starts slamming his helmet against the wall even harder.
Steve *from the drivers seat* : how are we going to open the doors?
Bronze Statue: *Eyeing BRP* I would hazard a guess at dramatically
The radio crackles on.
Hacker 14: This is Dylan, we need to open the door. Do you have any suggestions?
BRP Instantly responds: GET THE HELL AWAY FROM THAT DOOR! We will come forwards and do something about it.
Hacker 14: Why? Why can't we do it?
BRP Just get away from the door. CAREFULLY!
Hacker 14: Okay, okay. Sheesh.
ANd with that, the door exploded inwards because of a glitch resulting from Slenderpony's virus inside the system shifting power to certain sections of the ship. The doors had been locked, but there had been a steadily increasing amount of power attempting to open them. Finally, the locking mechanism cracked and then shattered causing the multiple tons of metal door to fly inwards as opposed to their normal iris maneuver. Huge pieces of metal careened into the "red" shuttle, shattering the cockpit glass and obliterating hacker 14. The air rushed out as shrapnel blew in, ricocheting around the interior. A few hackers were sucked out into the shuttle bay, the rest died inside the shuttle. By some freak event, a chunk of shrapnel hit the control lever in precisely the correct way to push it all the way forwards. The "red" shuttle blasted clear of the bay and flew into open space, taking the majority of the wreckage of the door with it. The remaining people in the bay just watched. Some threw up.
BRP turned and put his head in his hands. Bronze Statue walked over and looked at him.
Bronze Statue: It wasn't your fault. They were dead the moment that they all piled into that shuttle.
BRP: I know. I just feel responsible for some reason.
Bronze Statue: Why? It's not like you wrote it down, describing what was going to happen in great detail.
BRP: I know. I just can't help the feeling that it was my fault.
Bronze Statue: You tried to stop it.
Steve (still hacker 1): We are recieving a text communication!
BRP: What does it say?
Steve *slowly*: "ha ha ha. We fooled you so hard. Oh my god. The look on your faces. ha ha ha. signed Dylan."
BRP: I'm going to fucking kill them all myself.
Steve: and another one.
BRP: and what does that one say?
Steve: "Holy crap, we got you again. Of course we all died. Who could survive that. You are such an easy mark. Oh Em Gee, Oh Em Gee, Oh Em Gee. You guys are the biggest suckers ever"
Bronze Statue: I remember Dylan. He always loved to prank people.
BRP: If he tries to haunt me, I am going to do something terrible to his ghost.
Bronze Statue: Cheer up. At least now hes dead.
BRP: This is the weirdest consolation ever.

Steve: Uh, the doors for the Shuttles are locked. How are we suppose to get in?
Hacker 3: We could have the Daleks cut it open li—
Hacker 4: And let the vacuum of space take away the air because we took away the air lock?
Hacker 3: Oh, right.
Hacker 2: Well, that's why we have our AI's with us. Right guys?
Nana: BRP, plug Hugh and I into the Shuttle's door locks.
BRB: I don't think my wristwatch can connect to this type of technology. Not unless we have an idea of the schematics...
Nana: I was integrated into the ship, I believe there is some bit of code that we can use. Just keep the watch close to the console instead. Brace yourself. *BRP did so, and his watch sparked with blue electricity and connected with the console.* I'm making a bridge for you, Hugh. Make it quick though, this takes up processing space.
Hacker 3: Cool! I didn't know you could do that.
Nana: BRP, don't move away unless you want us to get unceremoniously ripped and removed form your wristwatch.

*The Daleks finish cutting through the doors to the port side hangar*

BRP: Okay go!

*BRP, the hackers, and the Dalek escorts all sprint towards the shuttles, only to find them locked.*

Steve: Great, the doors for the Shuttles are locked. How are we suppose to get in?

Hacker 3: We could have the Daleks cut it open li—

Steve: And let the vacuum of space take away the air because we took away the air lock?

Hacker 3: Oh, right.

*Suddenly, BRP gets a VERY worried look on his face*.

BRP: Suddenly I have this horrible feeling.

Bronze Statue: The feeling that wearing a red shirt is highly disadvantageous?

BRP: Yes.

*They both look around, NONE of the hackers are wearing red shirts. They're pretty much all wearing their street clothes, as if they were just taken right out of the blue and right in the middle of whatever it was they were doing when they left.*

BRP: OH THANK GOD!!!

Steve: Please tell me you didn't seriously think that bullsh*t.

BRP: Yes, yes I did.

Steve: WHY OH WHY!?

Nana: BRP, plug Hugh and I into the Shuttle's door locks.

BRB: I... I don't think my wristwatch can connect to this type of technology. Not unless we have an idea of the schematics...

Nana: I was integrated into the ship, I believe there is some bit of code that we can use. Just keep the watch close to the console instead. Brace yourself. *BRP did so, and his watch sparked with blue electricity and connected with the console.* I'm making a bridge for you, Hugh. Make it quick though, this takes up processing space.

Hacker 3: Cool! I didn't know you could do that.

Nana: BRP, don't move away unless you want us to get unceremoniously ripped and removed form your wristwatch. This shouldn't take more than a few moments.

Author's Note

Status: edited

Also I probably should point out that my inspiration for Nyarlathotep/Risen Flagg came less from Stephen King's character, and more from this picture, which is how Nyarlathotep appears in the original H.P. Lovecraft story The Dream-Quest of Unknown Kadath, in which he plays a major role.

Drawn by Girhasha on deviantart.com

Something Strange..... in Twilight's head

Ghost Sombra… open the door… get on the floor… and walk the motherf*cking dinosaur… oh, and then use your ghost powers and put Twilight in clothes that look like a cross between a French maid and a Vietnamese hooker...

ghost sombra attempt to possess twilight to successfully walk the dinosaur.

Oh if only you could possess Twilight (and you have tried with less than spectacular results), but alas, her will is far too strong and unfortunately, with all of your ghostly powers, it is beyond your ability to possess and take control of her. That, and the fact that she is the only one that can see and interact with you means that you can't really go out and possess anyone else...

...

...

...

Okay, you're going to be honest with yourself. That's not the real reason.

The real reason is that you saw what was in Twilight's mind when you tried to possess her AND YOU ARE NOT about to go through that again.

Seriously.... this mare was messed up before this whole ordeal even started.

Had you known about any of this before, you might have considered being generous (which is not a normal trait for you, since it's an element of harmony and all) and helping the poor mare out with her needs.... or at least lock her in a room filled with male concubines.

Seriously, this mare really needs to get laid.

So yeah, possession is out of the question.

"Wah wah wah wawa wah wah.... wah wah wah." Celestia says to Twililight.

"Wah wah wah wah... wa wa. Wah wah wah wah wah wah... Wah wah." Twilight says back to her.

Okay, that's not actually what they sounded like, but it might as well have been. They've been talking for almost two hours about nothing. AND IT'S SO BORING!!!!!!!!

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

THAT'S IT!!!

You've been sitting here for who knows how long (two hours) doing nothing. You wanna have some fun. BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT ABOUT TO BE IGNORED!!!!!

Using your ghostly powers. The first thing you do, is dress up Twilight Sparkle in an outfit that kind of resembles a cross between a French maid and a Vietnamese hooker.

Of course, Celestia does not see this outfit. To her, Twilight just looks normal. To Twilight however, since she is the only one that is aware of you, she is of course, fully aware of you and what you are doing.

"Wah wah wah wah wah........ Wah wah." Celestia keeps going.

To make this even more fun, you make it so that if Twilight wanted, she could remove the outfit, and even slap you away with her magic if she wanted to (what, you thought the fact that she threw you out of the shower with magic earlier was a fluke? She did that cause you allowed it), but you know she is not going to, because doing so would require some action on her part and that would raise suspicions. Especially with Celestia here in the room with her and all.

"Wah wah wah wah..... wah wah wah.... Wah wah wah wah wah..." Twilight says to Celestia while her eyes angrily follow you. She's trying to ignore you. She really REALLY is.... but by god you could laugh so hard right now.... The look on her face... She's glaring daggers at you and Celestia has no idea why.

"Wah wah wah?" Celestia says to Twilight.

"WAH WAH!!! Wah wah wah." Twilight replies back to her nervously in a desperate attempt to continue the conversation in an outfit that she is only aware of. Because of course, Celestia does not see it.

That done, you spin around with your ghostly form... land on her back. Spawn a little red door frame.... Open the door..... get on the floor (okay, it's her back, but semantics)...

AND WALK THE DINOSAUR!!!

Unfortunately, since you have no visible legs to speak of. You just float across your back... So you are floating the dinosaur really..... Ah but who cares?

"Open the door, get on the floor,

Everypony walk the dinosaur!"

You sing very loudly.

"Open the door, get on the floor,

Everypony walk the dinosaur!"

"Wah wah wah... wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah." Twilight does her very best to ignore you. But you can tell from the way she is twitching a little bit that she feels what you are doing. She's getting into rhythm a little..... By You she is
actually getting into it.

"Wah wah wah?" Celestia suddenly says, confused again.

"WAH WAH!?" Twilight says again nervously.

Ghost Sombra, slap Twilight's flank and tell her to make you a sandwich. Then chill with Nappa.

So you decide to just ask her if she can make you a peanut butter sandwich over and over again, until she does make you one, and then remind her that your a ghost and cannot eat.

Well, you have no idea who Nappa is, but he sounds like a pretty cool guy.

BUT WAIT! THE TIMING IS TOO PERFECT!!! YOU NEED TO-

Thinking quickly, you quickly teleport over to Twilight's butt and smack it with one of your ghostly appendages. The resulting face from Twilight is............... Well, words cannot even begin to describe that it for you.

She has the most perfect, frozen expression ever, and the immense blush on her face just completes the picture.

"Wah wah wah wah!?" Celestia suddenly says to Twilight, now she seems worried.

"WAH WAH WAH!!!! Wah wah wah wah wah.... Wah wah," Twilight replies, now sounding more nervous than ever.

"Hey Twiiiiiilight," you say as you teleport back to the side of her head. "Hey Twilight."

"Wah wah wah, wah wah wah wah," Twilight keeps talking to Celestia, doing her best to ignore you. "Can I have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?" You ask her while putting on your most childlike and innocent smile, which is kind of difficult for you since you have pretty sharp and evil looking teeth. "Can I?" you ask again, but to no avail. She's still ignoring you. "Can I? Can I? Can I?" You keep asking, but still to no avail. "Can I have a sandwich? Can I have a sandwich? Peanut butter and jelly. Peanut butter an-"

"I'm in your story f*ckin it up," Ghost Nappa suddenly interrupts you as he appears on the other side of Twilight's head.

"Oh, please," you say to him. "This series was dead long before you showed up. So..... you must be Nappa eh?"

"Eeyup," he says back to you.

"You wanna chill at the bar after this?"

"Sure, why not," he replies.

"Sweet. I'll see you once this chapter ends. There's still more work to be done here," you say to him.

"Kay koo," he just replies back to you before he disappears as quickly as he came. Meh, you were right. He does seem like a pretty cool dude.

Hmm..... with him coming in here, you forgot what you were doing...

If there are any paintings at all where Twilight is, start tilting them so they hang crooked while shouting "Fuck the Police". Her OCD will give her a headache and make her facehoof so hard she gets a bruise on her forehead.
If Celestia asks her where the bruise came from, help her out
Twilight: uhhhh....
Sombra: You fell down some stairs
Twilight: I fell down some stairs....(Whispers to you) What's up with you and stairs?
Sombra: What's up with you being a nosy bitch?
Twilight: (Frustrated Groan)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=duRO3noyAKU
Tell Twilight to listen to you until she yells at you.
Then ask her if she likes crystals.

Well... Time to become the master of the annoying arts... Start out by imitating Navi... Become a small version of yourself and constantly shout at the top of your voice "Hey, Listen!" If Twilight says 'What?' reply with basic common sense, like explaining how to walk or how to open a door... If you want to get really evil, tell her how to use basic magic kindergarten level spells. Then proceed with shouting "Over here" Every time Twilight walks near a door, and flying over to said door.

"Wah wah wah wah wah." Twilght says to Celestia.

"Wah wah wah wah wah." Celestia says back to her.

Oh, that's right. You were annoying Twilight.

With that in mind, a devilish grin spreads across your face as you get a sudden wonderful.... awful.... simply EVIL idea. you notice Twilight looking at you as you do this. She must have seen your devilish smile. Not that it matters to you though. It only makes this a little bit more fun.

Unfortunately, there are no paintings around in the room you are currently in. Even if there were, you wouldn't be able to interact with them in any way cause well..... being bound to Twilight and all. She's the only one who's aware of you. That hasn't changed in the past thousand words.

You're not about to let that stop you however as you float around in front of her face and, while still keeping the same devilish smile on your face, and create six floating paintings in front of her face. Again, paintings that only she can see. What are these paintings off you may ask? Well, only you in very suggestive poses of course. What else would they be? Also there is one of what you would look like if you were a mare, just to mess with her a little more.

But you're not done yet. Oh no, that isn't even the first stage of your plan. With her being forced to look at them, you then float over to the one one the far left, lean against it a little bit, and tilt it a few degrees to the side.

"F*CK THE POLICE!" you shout as you then proceed to tilt every one of the paintings just a little bit.

Even before you get to the last one, you start to see her OCD kick in as what looks like a vein (it's slightly difficult to see because of her fur) pops out on her forehead. Wow, you're actually surprised. Even for vulgar paintings like this all she cares about is making them all look neat and tidy. Maybe she likes looking at them.

Still, you can tell from THE MOST FRUSTRATED LOOK ON HER FACE EVAR! That she desperately wants to do something about those paintings, but can't cause well, only she can see them and again, would raise suspicions. After a few moments, you actually see a bruise appear on her head. Wow, you frustrated her so much you actually made a bruise appear. You must be getting good at this.

"Wah wah wah wah wah wah wah?" Celestia asks Twilight, looking concerned.

"Waaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh......." Twilight just says.

"You fell down some stairs," you float over and whisper in her ear.

"Wah wah wah wah wah," she replies to Celestia, making her more confused than ever.

Ah stairs. How you used to love those marvelous contraptions. You would spend so long having fun with your trusty slinky on that endless staircase you had in your... former... palace.

Originally, you had planned to build an entire separate castle composed of NOTHING BUT STAIRS for you to mess around and have fun in.... but then things happened... and you got defeated... and it never came to pass.... Oh well.

But enough focusing on the past.

Instead, lets annoy Twilight some more.

"Hey Twiiiiiiiiiiiiilight," you begin to say to her as you watch her OCD start giving her a throbbing headache. You know it is. "Hey, listen," you begin. "Hey, listen, hey, listen, hey, listen, hey, listen," you start saying as you watch Twilight actually fight to hold back a groan. "Hey, listen, hey, listen, hey, listen..." you continue. "The paintings are tilted Twilight," you say to her. "They're tiiiiiiiillllllllllteeeeeeeddddddddddd......... You should really fix them. Do it. Your OCD commands it."

"Wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah!!!!" Twilight angrily says to Celestia in a grave attempt to ignore you.

Ghost Sombra. Screama out EVERYBODY DO DA FLOP!!! (typo intentional. That's how loud you must scream it, and in the key of A)

QUICKLY! While her eyes are closed, you fly back around in front of her.

"EVERYPONY DO DA FLOP!" You scream at her in the key of A the moment she opens her eyes and looks right at you. The moment you finish that, you, and all the paintings, fall face first onto the floor. All the while, the paintings are still tilted. Yes, even on the floor paintings can be tilted.

K ghost Sombra here's the deal you should just pull every book off the shelf in Twilight's library using your special ghost abilities of manipulating objects and make a mother fucking book fort... NOW!

You lay face down on the floor for several moments as you contemplate what to do next. Unfortunately, you aren't in Twilight's library, so you can't really make a book fort. Not even if you wanted to cause unfortunately, again, you cannot interact with anything in the real world other than Twilight.

You do however, have six paintings laying on the ground with you. So after a few moments, or at least the amount of time you know it will bother Twilight as she looks down at you confused as to why you are not moving (yes, you know she is doing that). You float back up, all the while still keeping your face towards the floor, and float the paintings all around you to create a painting fort.

Yes, what are marvelous architectural contraption you have made. Truly a work of genius.

Twilight is talking to Celestia and you feel that you aren't coming up in the conversation at all, you decide to rectify that.
While Twilight is trying to talk to Celestia, you pretend to do lewd things to the Princess to bug Twilight since she's the only one who can see you. Stick your butt in her face, sniff her hair, lick her ears and other inappropriate things while Twilight looks at you and becomes increasingly agitated. Start going thru your Navi routine again whilst doing these actions.
Twilight still doesn't want to let anyone know that she sees you, so she tries to tell you to stop by yelling at you under her breath, which Celestia notices
Finally, go for the Kill, pretend to Mount Celestia, while complimenting her 1,000 year old flank which causes Twilight to shout
Twilight: GET OFF YOU PERVERT!!!
Sombra: Can't, got no physical nads
Celestia: Excuse Me? (To Twilight)
Twilight: Uhhhhh.....
Sombra: Ha Ha Ha, Wacka Wacka!
Then start singing a very annoying song while until she starts talking to you in force right in Front of Celestia.
Tell her to tell Celestia about you and you'll stop singing, you don't need to be kept a secret, anymore, you want your Body Back Damnit!!!

Leap into a song! Float around like a fool! Don a sombrero! Do all the insensible things that unfitting for a king! As you get bored from the silly antics, a letter manifested by green pops up. Like the rude neighbor you are, you read Twilight's mail. Gasp, as you read the name 'Risen Flagg', and Wake Up Twilight. Tell her to see this and explain what was buzzing on your mind, and ask her: What do?
She might claim that it was all dream or admits she maybe is insane. If so, suppress your inner troll, and prove that it's real, delicately.

While your first instinct is to leap back into the "Hey, listen," routine again, the last time you did that, Twilight destroyed a room, so you aren't gonna do it now. Plus, you kind of wanna be a little bit more creative.

Maybe if some mail arrived from her you would read it, but unfortunately, no letters are coming in, which you find strange.

Surely there is something going on in Ponyville that is worth reporting on. You don't know, maybe like the fact that Jason Morgan was just attacked by an elder abomination from the stars and now Risen Flag, the big baddy of this entire story, is in Ponyville right now waiting to do who knows what.

Why yes, you are fully well aware of what is going on in this story. Thank you for asking. Pinkie Pie isn't the only one who can see beyond the fourth wall you know.

But alas, no mail is coming in. Not right now at least, so there is no mail for you to read. Even if you wanted too.

Suddenly though, you get another evil, POSITIVELY DISASTROUS idea.

The first thing you do, is make the paintings disappear, and turn one of them into a sombrero to replace your crown for a moment as you float up in front of Twilight, and just give her a wink.

That right there, that gets the exact reaction that you want. Confusion.

After all that you've done so far, now Twilight is just confused, though she isn't trying to show it. She has no idea what you're going to do next.

"Wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah...."

"Wah wah wah wah wah wah wah."

Then, with that out of the way, you slowly turn around and float all the way up to Princess Celestia's face, humming the tune to "Winter Wrap Up," as you do. What can you say, it has a catchy tune.

Then, once you reach Celestia's face, you turn around, and in a very sexy manner, you raise your left eyebrow at Twilight.... and then stick out your tongue. You watch as her expression changes from confused, to simply being angry now, as she knows what you are going to do. Yep... you can tell.... and you are going to do it.

THE CRAZY MARE CAN'T STOP YOU!

You lick Celestia on her snout. The look on Twilight's face is priceless. You could swear that if Celestia wasn't here, she'd be screaming right now.

But you're not done yet, oh no.

You get the idea to stick your butt on her face, but you decide against it because:

1.) You really have no butt.

2.) Come on, even you have standards.

So instead, you float around by her right ear, and in a very sexy manner, lick it as well, which only causes Twilight to grow even angrier. You then move over a little bit and sniff Celestia's mane. Hmm..... strawberry.... not a scent you were expecting, but oh well. Twilight only grows even angrier at this.

Suddenly, you get an even better idea as you float over and duck down behind Celestia's head and down her back. Your plan was to pretend to mount Celestia and pretend to ride her into the night, but, unfortunately, with Celestia being taller than Twilight and the angle she is staring up at her, she wouldn't have been able to see you even if you did to that.

Which sucks cause this would have been the perfect way to end this.

So instead, you just duck behind her head and let Twilight imagine all the "positively horrible things." you must be doing to her.

This, unfortunately, means that you can't see her either, but hey, beggars can't be choosers.

After you feel as if an appropriate amount of time has passed. You float above Celestia's head again, spinning like a ghost dancer as you do, open your mouth, take in a deep breath, and begin to sing-

You consider to start singing "What Does the Fox Say?' to Twilight on a loop, but you decide that's a little too evil, even for you.

Once she relents, start doing Ghost Stuff with Ghost Pinkie Pie, like singing the Ghost Sombra Song :pinkiehappy:

Sombra! Sing a mixture of Friday, the troll song, never gonna give you up, what does the fox say and the one piece English theme song. Looped.

AND NOW!!!!

It is time. For you. That's right YOU. The audience. To guess what horrible.... EVIL.... Song you think RazortheAwesome is going to make Ghost Sombra is going to sing to Twilight.

Guess correctly, and you will get a free hug from RazortheAwesome. Answer incorrectly and you will get absolutely nothing, which is nothing more or less than you had before.

Do you think he is going to sing.

A.) The Fox by Ylvis

B.) Friday by Rebecca Black

C.) Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley

D.) The One Piece theme song

E.) Sick Bubblegum remix by Skrillex

F.) The Ghost Sombra song

G.) The Troll Song

To answer. Look deep into your heart, but not too deep or you might give yourself a heart attack, or worse. Bleed to death on the floor, and if you bleed to death on my floor, then you're cleaning it up. You have until the next paragraph appears to make your decision.

Thank you for choosing.

The correct answer is......

All of them.

At the same time.

Perspective Shift:

Twilight Sparkle

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Perspective Shift:

Rarity

Rarity
Be the dicks.

Dicks
Be Rarity.

Really...... really......

You really want me to write this......

You do realize what this is gonna be if I do right?

I mean, I can.... I totally can but......

The result would be WAY TO HOT and WAY TO SAUCY for a story like this.

Don't get me wrong, I totally could write it, but..... yeah....

This story is rated Teen and we've managed to avoid showing things like this all this time for the sake of humor, and I'd kind of like to keep it that way....

...

...

...

...

...

...

Okay tell you what, we'll put it to a vote. If all you readers out there REALLY WANT ME to write this scene. I'll put it in a completely separate story and link you all too it when it's done.

Unfortunately, it means I might have to delay this story for a few days so I can write that instead of this... So yeah... choose wisely.

Perspective Shift:

Jason Morgan

-Dawn of a new day-

You wake up on Lyra and Bon Bon's couch again after taking the rest of last night to recover and eat some pizza (which was actually quite good despite the fact that there was still no meat on it). You're still a little soar, but it's not nearly as bad as it was yesterday. You can totally move around now if you want.

And before you ask, no you did not have any nightmares of any kind. In fact, you slept rather peacefully.

So yeah, it's a new day, a new morning.

What do you do?

-Side Story-

The Previous Night just before everypony went to bed

-Ponyville-

Sweet Apple Acres

*Sweet Apple Acres*
Big Macintosh went inside along with Applejack without notice despite his large size. He raised a brow as he saw Strongheart and Braeburn.
Braeburn: We are in an errand. We are deliverin' a letter to one of our friend's friend who lives Ponyville.
AJ: Why didn't ya send it to me and ask me to pass it along?
B: I knew you are busy and ya and Ah both know how bad the Mail Delivery service is. 'Sides, it gives me an excuse to visit. Me and Strongheart are on vacation. Not much go'in on Appaloosa so Pops let me off easy for a week. And who better to visit than the pony gave me ol' Bloomberg?
Applejack smiled a little at the last part, and looked at Little Strongheart who nodded in confirmination. It was a white lie. White lies are the Apples greatest weakness. Well, not to a well-trained operative. Before Applejack could say wether or not she accepted the explanation, Strongheart piped in.
Little Strongheart: Now let's move on from the reasons— can we ask what in the ancestors happened back at the orchards?
Now it's Applejack and Big Mac's turn to be nervous— and they just noticed the big red pony! Then out came an explanation, that confuses the AIA agents, about Jason the Human's gruesome fight, his abilities, and what he looks like. From there, the agents realized how similar it was to the aliens that watches over them, from above.
(Been a while since I made a comment so long. And realized: when was the last time we made endless comment chains?)

*Big Macintosh walks up next to Applejack without either of them noticing despite his large size and raises and eyebrow at Braeburn and Little Strongheart.*

Braeburn: We're on an errand. We are deliverin' a letter to one of our friend's friend who lives Ponyville.

AJ: Why didn't ya send it to me and ask me to pass it along?

B: Cause Ah knew that you're busy and you and Ah both know how bad the Mail Delivery service is. 'Sides, it gives me an excuse to visit. Me and Strongheart are on vacation. Not much go'in on Appaloosa so Pops let me off easy for a week. And who better to visit than the pony gave me ol' Bloomberg?

*Applejack smiled a little at the last part, and looked at Little Strongheart who nodded in confirmination. It was a white lie. White lies are the Apples greatest weakness. Well, not to a well-trained operative. Before Applejack could say wether or not she accepted the explanation, Strongheart piped in.*

Little Strongheart: Now let's move on from the reasons, can we ask what in the name of the ancestors happened back at the orchards?

*Suddenly both Applejack and Big Mac are nervous now, they both look like they knew what happened but have no idea what to say as they both try to look everywhere but at Braeburn and Little Strongheart.*

AJ: Ahh..... uh..... um..... Ah......

*Big Mac remains silent.*

*Suddenly, Granny Smith walks up out of nowhere, again, without any of them noticing.*

GS: Ah horseapples, why do ya'll have to focus on tha reasins' and the why's and the bad things. It's not everyday we git a visit from our family out in Applaloosa. *Puts an hoof around both Applejack and Braeburn's necks.* We should be talkin' about the good things. They'll be plenty of time fer the reasins' and the other things later.

*both Braeburn and Applejack are kind of surprised by this sudden turn, but after a moment they both relax.*

B: Yer.... yer right. *Gently takes Granny Smith's hoof off of him.*

Applebloom: Braeburn! *Applebloom comes out of nowhere and runs up to hug him. Again, without any of them noticing.*

B: Ah jeez little cuz, you nearly scared me half tah death. Where'd you come from.

AB: Upstairs.

B: Ah guess that makes sense. It's good to see you. *Rubs her head a little.*

*Little Strongheart, as much as she wants to know the truth, can't help but smile at the exchange between Braeburn and Applebloom and forget about it for a moment.*

GS: Come on in. There's enough fresh pie fer everypony.

*After that, Braeburn and Little Strongheart head back on into the house and spend the rest of the day touching base with Applejack and the others. There's no talk of assignments, Jason, or anything like that, just small talk. All catching up with each other. They're all having a good time. Eventually, when it's time to go to bed, there is a spare room for Braeburn and Little Strongheart, but unfortunately, its just one room, so they have to share it. It's kind of awkward for them, but they've been through worse, so they get used to it. Otherwise, they go to sleep, and wake up the next morning like everyone else.*

*This story will continue with them in the present, aka, the next morning, the same time as Jason.*

-Appaloosa-

The AIA headquarters

*AIA HQ*
The scuffle with the computer problem has been a pain to with, especially when some of the Lab ponies have to complain about it. The Secretary trots in the Director's office with a letter levitated beside her.
Secretary: Director, sir, I have a report ab- Sir? What are you doing.
She looks around at the mess that consists of scrap electronics, cables, motherboards, and monitors. Obviously, somepony was attempting to build a computer. The Director in question is in the middle of it, fiddling with the devices. The secretary saw that one he was holding was faintly glowing in potent electricity.
Grey Rebl: Computer science.
S: The computer team is already working on the problem. You needn't worry yourself about it.
GR: Well, they are not doing it fast enough! I'm going to teach myself how to piece together computer technology and then speed it up!
The secretary noticed the way he was holding them. It is that of a scientist looking close to the result of a liquid under experimentation.
S: It's not the same as chemicals and explosives, Director.
Grey Rebl sighed.
GR: I wish it is. Were you about to tell me something?
She opens the letter and unfolds the contents.
S: An unmarked crate has been discovered within our weekly supply drop today. It appears to be a strange device, big, cylinder, and it has a counting timer without a clock but with a glass display
GR's ears perked in interest.
S: It will be arriving here for close inspection in 15 minutes.
GR: Well, this may be interesting. At least there is something to do. I'll be there.
S: Sir, wait. There's more.
GR: Oh?
S: Remember the reports about ponies in town acting strangely yesterday? It's reported the same for Silverstar and his wife.
GR: What is the testimony?
S: It says here that Silverstar got out of break right after dealing with the ponies trying to see what's in the unmarked crate while his wife was at another part of town. They should've been spending time together, considering that it's what they always do when they have the free time. It's unlikely that they are trying something different. The operatives briefed with the case agrees that the investigation should be warranted into a class A.
The AIA made a voting system to warrant a specific level of investigation. The levels are D, C, B, A, and S-A, with each higher grade level having more direct procedures and a stronger work force requirements from the other. The ponies of the AIA were trained to develop a survival instinct or a sixth sense, with earth ponies being the most strongest then the other sub species. Because AIA's operatives are mostly earth ponies, and very loyal and sworn secrecy at very high degree, this system gives the AIA cohesion. It works by asking a number of the work force about what they feel on a mission. Top secret, or private, missions are warranted by the Director or other leaders of the Equestrian Intelligence. For time since the AIA was established, it was extremely effective.
A level "S-A" would be the equivalent of a national disaster. A level "A" is almost as close.
GR: Our first class A...
S: A capable team has already been selected. In my personal opinion, you should accompany them while our best team of researchers are going to look into this foreign contraption.
GR raised an eye brow.
GR: And if you are going to have trouble...?
S: We have the aid of alien data as our last resort.
GR: Heh. Looks like I have nothing to worry about. So, who's the humble pair that I will be tagging along with?

*The director's secretary walks in with a letter levitating next to her, only to suddenly get confused as she walks right into a mess of all kinds of computer parts stashed all over the floor. It looks as if Grey Rebl was trying to build a computer.*

Grey Rebl: Okay, so I just-

Secretary: Director, sir, I have a report ab- Sir? What are you doing.

GR: Computer science.

S: The computer team is already working on the problem. You needn't worry yourself about it.

GR: Well, they are not doing it fast enough! I'm going to teach myself how to piece together computer technology and then speed it up!

*The secretary noticed the way he was holding them. It is that of a scientist looking close to the result of a liquid under experimentation.*

S: It's not the same as chemicals and explosives, Director.

GR: *sighs* I wish it is. Were you about to tell me something?

S: Hmm.... Oh, right. *She opens the letter and unfolds the contents.* An unmarked crate has been discovered within our weekly supply drop today. It appears to be a strange device, big, cylinder, and it has a counting timer without a clock but with a glass display.

*GR's ears perked in interest.*

S: It will be arriving here for close inspection in 15 minutes.

GR: Well, this may be interesting. At least there is something to do. I'll be there-

S: Sir, wait.

*She stops him from leaving.*

GR: What is it?

*Grey Rebl's secretary looks into his eyes. They're all red and bloodshot, and there are heavy bags under his eyes.*

S: Sir, when was the last time you slept?

GR: *sighs* You know I-

S: When was the last time?

*He wants to say something, but the pleading looks in her eyes calms him down a little bit.*

GR: Three days ago.

S: Three days!

GR: Yeah. I don't need any sleep right now though, I just need to-

S: Sir... You really should get some rest.

GR: Didn't you just hear me, I said I could-

S: Sir, you've been behaving erratically for the past few hours. It's making us all worried. What's going on? You can tell me.

*There is an awkward silence between them for a moment.*

GR: I just....... I'm just worried about Nana. I mean, it's been hours since we've heard from her or the aliens. I'm just.... What if something's happened up there? What if she's in danger? What if something's gone wrong and she could be-

S: Director!

*GR snaps back to attention.*

S: I know you're worried, we all are, but you're not going to help anyone by getting as many parts as you can and trying to build a computer. Nana was designed to overcome any kind of obstacle and solve any problem. I'm sure she's working on a way to fix the situation on her end right now. Meanwhile, what we can do down here is just think positively and hope for the best.

GR: *groans a little* I suppose you're right.

S: You agree with me then, good. Now get some sleep.

GR: But- *is stopped by his secretary holding up a hoof to silence him*

S: Ah ah, no buts. You need to get some rest now mister. *starts talking in a semi-motherly tone*

GR: But what about the device we-

S: I'll have the lab boys look at it. There's nothing you need to worry about. Now go get some sleep.

GR: *sighs again* All right.

*GR walks out of his office and over to his quarters, upon which he just collapses into his bed and falls asleep. He really was tired.*

*This story will continue the following morning, the same time as Jason, just like Braeburn and Little Strongheart are.*

Time Unspecified

Before any of you ask, yes, I do mean that everything that is going on up here is over the course of a very long period of time. Perhaps over the course of an entire day or longer. Unfortunately, keeping time up here in space is kind of a pain, so I'm just going to leave it like this until everything is all worked out.

-The Dalek Flagship, The Caesar-

The Port Side Hangar Bay

BS: Guys, we have a slight problem.
BRP* still focusing on not moving* what?
BS: Don't panic, it's just that slender pony has just entered the shuttle bay and is very slowly coming towards us.
BRP: While I can't move?
BS: yes.
BRP: and you think that this is grounds for not panicking how?
Nana: 75% complete.
BRP: Why didn't you just use the adapter? I know that you know about it now that you're in there Nana.
Nana: I was just. Umm.
BRP: Showing off to Hugh?
Nana: NO! Well, maybe...just a little. 90% complete.
BS: It's getting closer!
BRP: Now would be a REALLY good time for RA to show up.
*dimensional portal opens to the restaurant at the end of the universe. RA gets thrown through by 17 big muscly aliens. He isn't wearing his shoes, and it reveals some surprisingly feminine ankles. Another one steps out, throwing RA's shoes at him.*
Big muscly alien #18: AND STAY OUT!
*RA flips off the aliens as the portal closes*
RA *plainly drunk off his arse*: Sho, Whut the hell ish gooing on?

*Dalek Ship* (Does it have a name? I forgot after so long into this...)
Nana: We're in.
Steve: Good! Now let's get in before something turns us dead!
Hacker 2: Oh, come on, Steve. We aren't going to die.
Steve: There's something in here that could disable an entire fleet. I don't understand how that statement holds.
Nana: Enough! Steve, stop wasting your air on complaints before somepony dies from suffaction. And Hacker 2, don't jinx it. We are already in a dangerous situation.

BS: *to hacker 2* Shut up, Jimmy, and drink your juice!
Jimmy (formerly known as Hacker 2): ...what?
BS: Figure of speech meaning you're probably screwed if you don't use common sense. In other words, EVERYONE, GET IN THE SHUTTLES!!!
(more to be added possibly later, when I have time.)

*BRP and all of the hackers are still waiting for the shuttle doors to open. BRP is still focusing on not moving while Nana and Hugh Jackman get the door open.*

Hacker 2: Hey you know what would suck?

BRP: What?

H2: If that Slender.... pony... thing, just happened to enter the shuttle bay and started very slowly walkings towards us right now.

BRP: You mean while I can't move?

H2: Yes.

Nana: 75% complete.

Bronze Statue: Then I suppose we'd be absolutely f*cked.

Nana: 75% complete.

BRP: *to Nana* Why didn't you just use the adapter? I know that you know about it now that you're in there Nana.

Nana: I was just. Umm.

BRP: Showing off to Hugh?

Nana: NO! Well okay, maybe... just a little. 90% complete.

Steve: Wow, way to add some light to this very real, VERY dire situat-

Nana: *beeps as Hugh returns to her* Doors open!

BS: *to hacker 2* Shut up, Jimmy, and drink your juice!

Jimmy (formerly known as Hacker 2): ...what?

BS: Figure of speech meaning you're probably screwed if you don't use common sense. In other words, EVERYONE, GET IN THE SHUTTLES!!!

*BRP, Bronze Statue, Steve, Jimmy, all the other hackers run into the ships while the two Dalek escorts remain outside.*

Nana: *On the coms to Chekov* Okay, were in the ships. Now where are those suits!?

Author's Note

Status: edited

Ghost Sombra's theme song:

Sending Messages (Also Kiro gets a hug)

Before we begin. Lets take look at what you all voted for the saucy Rarity scene.

Personally, I think this sums them all up nicely

Also, I vote no for Saucy Rarity scene, let her perversion go unfulfilled and drive her nuts :raritycry:

For the Rarity thing:

For the Rarity bit; I beg thee, nay, nay! Also, linking to NSFW stories from, well, anything but PM, has been made against the rules, due to Google Adpay being a dick.

Really Razor, you took the Rarity thing seriously? I was basically making fun of the comments you make on my story 98% of the time. Seriously don't do it. :ajbemused:

As for that Rarity and, uh... I think we all have enough of Rarity and her kinky thoughts. Heck, her mind may as well be Cuthulu's hotspot of dirty thoughts, and he must be gay. So my answer would be a big screaming Luke Skywalker "No". Our mortal minds cannot even comprehend our such vile existence, or even our non-existential faith.

As for rarity, have a cup of "Dear God, No!" I had Dr. Bright order it for me.

So yeah.... Since the vote seems to be a pretty unanimous "OH GOD NO!!!" We shall continue this story without any kind of sexy Rarity time tie in story. Not that it would have made much of a difference anyway.

Then- HOLY CRAP IT'S MORNING!!! (Oh, and I guessed right. I expect my hug in 1-3 business days.)

Oh, and to my editor Kiro, the only one to have guessed the song correctly in the previous chapter (or at least the only one to guess correctly and tell me about it), you may click anywhere on this sentence to receive your hug.

Right. So with all that out of the way. Lets begin.

Step 1: get food.
Step 2: Remember the meeting with Risen Flagg.
Step 3: Tell Lyra and Bonbon your concerns with said character.
Step 4: Remember something important.
Step 5: ????
Step 6: Profit!

Jason, time to eat. You know that doing things on an empty stomach is never a good idea.

Eat food...
Shower and use the bathroom, seriously, when was the last time you did that?

Wash yourself Jason, every sane man washes up at least once a day so yeah. TAKE A SHOWER NOW!

Find food

Eat food

???

Profit

-Main Story-
1. Slam head into bucket of cold water to wake up (AKA take a shower... You need to think up better metaphors.
2. Locate a source of morning sustenance. (Not a metaphor, but better)
3. Food on. Apply directly to the face. (Well, that was the worst reference you've ever made)
4. Tell what food remains to "Get in my Bell-ay!" (Much better reference)
5. Repeatedly slam head into table for no reason until you develop a headache or Lyra/Bon-Bon stops you.
6. ???
7. PROFIT!!! (That actually sounds like a good idea. Where to get a job though? Anywhere but Sweet Apple Acres, that's for sure. Fucking Horror Story ponies)

For Jason, Open the door, get on the floor, and walk the MOTHER F**KING DINOSAUR!!!!!!!! and also,
1) Find Food
2) Eat Food
3) Beg for more food
4)???
5) Profit

Your loudly growling stomach tells you that the ABSOLUTE FIRST thing you HAVE TO DO right now is get some food. Oh, and for whatever reason you're having trouble controlling THE VOLUME OF YOUR INNER THOUGHTS!!!!!!

...

...

...

...

Okay good, that's not happening again.

Anyway, you get up off the couch and stretch for a moment. For the most part, you feel okay. You're shoulder still feels a little bit stiff, but granted that part of you was bitten by something with ginormous teeth, that's kind of to be expected.

So you walk on through the archway to the kitchen.

You open the door (okay there is no door but semantics)

You get on the floor.

And you walk the dinosaur!!!

GOD THAT MAKES YOU FEEL A LOT BETTER (Yeah, Odin, Zeus, Athena, and every other god you've been praying too since you got here hasn't really been helping you all that much at all... In fact they're kind of doing the exact opposite of helping you right now. So you're just going to stick to God.)!

You're not sure why, but it just does.

But yes, you walk into the kitchen. Your first instinct is to get yourself some cereal, but given that Lyra and Bon Bon treated you to some Pizza last night (which was good by the way, even if it did have no meat), and you.... might have... scared them more than half to death when you showed them your battle with the demon clown.... pony... thing. You decide to make some breakfast for them too.

So with that in mind, you set out to make pancakes for them. Why? Cause pancakes are awesome.

The thought does occur to you to just summon some breakfast with your new Latin powers, but you decide against that for multiple reasons. Partly because you really have no idea what will come out from that, or if since these powers are apparently based on your imagination, they might not come out exactly correct or Lyra and Bon Bon might not like them. That, and the thought does cross your mind that since you are creating, would this technically be some form of self-cannibalism.... kind of like drinking your own blood (in kind of the same logic for why vampires can't drink their own blood).... Yeah, you know it's ridiculous, but the thought does cross your mind.

So yeah, you just make pancakes the normal way.

-The time it takes to make some pancakes later-

Surprisingly, in the time it took you to make those pancakes, neither Lyra or Bon Bon came downstairs. Usually they get up shortly after you do, but now it's taking them a while for whatever reason. Then again, you suppose can still understand. They probably didn't sleep that well last night. God knows you wouldn't if you saw that..... but you did sleep well.... so..... Bah, enough of that now.

Since they're not here. You sit down and serve yourself.

Forget the shower (if possible at all) you have your god powers to make you smell nice! But not "godly" nice, just normal nice. Go to the kitchen and summon a bowl, low fat milk, and your favorite cereal. And get something for your landlords. Don't summon it though, they might taste like what you think it would taste like. You don't really know how their taste buds actually work. Unless you know the words that allow you to know...
After you got your food and hygiene satisfied, do something productive. Other than checking in with the girls to see if Ponyville will live another day, there isn't much to do... Hey, here's a thought: do you really have to speak Latin out loud for your powers to work? If so, using it to do pointless activities must be tiresome to the throat. Another thought: Can you synchronize your Morgan bloodline abilities with your characters and maybe do more than just think a little like them?
Your inner Batman decides to go into a deep focus and think back since you've arrived here and before that.
Logic: Connect the Dots
1. Twilight Sparkle summoned you to help defeat some sort of evil... By having your babies...
2. From whom you thought was Jesus, your grandfather was sighted several times. Was he watching you? Inner Batman Logic Bonus: Also, he was playing chess with some weird abomination with a goat head and a pointy tooth... What's his relation with it?
3. You've been having hallucinations, most notably your inner Pinkie, and one of which reminded you of a certain slender... You thought it was all weed, but now you know better. But what does it have to with anything?
4. When you had arrived at Canterlot, you had your first meeting with Risen. Haven't really talked, but you had a creepy feeling about him. More so when Twilight up and fainted upon meeting him. Who is he?
5. You found out King Arther is real. And so is his sword. You kept that thought securely in your head, just in case.
6. Celestia said that time and space was separate on both the human world and Equestria.
7. You were told that an Outer god was still loose.
8. Your grandfather is here, and is supposedly dead after so many years.
9. You fought Haypennywise *shiver* and he would've killed you if your grandfather hadn't saved you and you hadn't used your powers on time. Inner Batman Logic Bonus: Although, recalling past the blood and violence, it all seemed as though you've been targeted specifically.
10. Risen came to Ponyville right after that Haypennywise incident. Coincidence?
11. During your visit at Canterlot, there was glass panes depicting stories. One of which displayed a familiar image of six mares and a creature with several body parts. Inner Batman Logic Bonus: You remembered that is has a goat head with an expression of surprise.
You were suddenly snapped back to reality by the presence of Lyra and Bon Bon.
Check and see if the barriers you set up are still active.

While you're eating, several thoughts occur to you, mostly having to do with what's happened since you've been here so far and the strange new abilities you now have.

Your inner Batman works in synch with your thoughts as you go through everything.

Twilight Sparkle summoned you to help defeat some sort of evil... By having your babies. Something that according to Lyra, would not have worked at all.

From whom you thought was Jesus, your grandfather was sighted several times. Was he watching you?

Probably, but this question can only be answered if you were somehow able to find him. Maybe your Latin powers could help, but you're not sure... For some odd reason. After all, he can use them too. Also, when this all started you saw him playing chess with that weird... dragon thing.... The thing that looked like the thing you saw on one of the stained glass windows in Canterlot castle. What was his relationship with that, if any at all?

But yes, moving on.

You've been having hallucinations, most notably your inner Pinkie, and one of which reminded you of a certain slender... You thought it was all weed, but now you know better. But what does it have to with anything?

When you had arrived at Canterlot, you had your first meeting with Risen Flagg. You haven't really talked to him that much, but you had a creepy feeling about him. More so when Twilight up and fainted upon meeting him. Who is he?

You found out King Arthur is real... Or rather was real. And so is his sword. You kept that thought securely in your head, just in case.

Celestia said that time and space was separate on both the human world and Equestria. Not just between those worlds though, but between all separate universes.

You were told that an Outer god was still loose by Silas... At least he was convinced it was still loose.

Your grandfather is here, and is supposedly dead after so many years.

You fought Haypennywise *shiver* and he would've killed you if your grandfather hadn't saved you and you hadn't used your powers in time.

However, given that Haypennywise appeared in front of you specifically, it would seem that you have been targeted... By someone... or more likely some thing.

Risen came to Ponyville right after that Haypennywise incident. Coincidence?

You're not sure at all.

During your visit at Canterlot, there was glass panes depicting stories. One of which displayed a familiar image of six mares and a creature with several body parts. The same creature that your great-grandfather was playing chess with when you first got here.

"Um.... Jason."

You suddenly snap back to reality to see Lyra standing across the table in front of you, looking a little confused.

"Oh.... morning Lyra," you say to her.

"Morning," she replies. Behind her, Bon Bon yawns as she comes into the kitchen as well.

The three of you really don't talk that much as you continue with breakfast, and it turns out you were right. They don't look like they slept that well.

-One breakfast later-

After breakfast and a quick bathroom break, you head upstairs and take a shower, cause you really felt like you needed it. The thought also occurs to you to make yourself clean with your latin powers, but you really wanted to feel the feeling of water splashing on your face. You needed it.

After your shower, you get dressed in your normal clothes again. You really need to thank Rarity for fixing these up for you while you were in the hospital. She's really done a lot for you.... clothes wise at least.

Wish you had the pants that were home. The pants at your house were so comfy... (I bet no one is gonna get the joke.)

You do miss your pants. The ones you had back home. The pants at your house were so comfy.... you really miss them.

God, you miss bacon.

You also miss bacon for some odd reason.

If you lost your awesome knife in battle, summon it to you. Enchant the blade to reinforce it and make it sharper. It didn't do jack against the Clown, but now that you have powers, perhaps that will change. Silver hurt Haypennywise, give it a silver edge in case he comes around again.

Of course, you still do have your knife. You never lost it. In fact, if one of the things you were told at the hospital is true, they had to pry it out of your hands.

But yes, you still have it, and you put it securely in it's holster as you get your pants on.

Still....

You take it out and look at it for a moment. It didn't really do much against Haypennywise, but still.... it's the only weapon you have... maybe.

"Fieri fortior," you say to yourself as you hold the knife. It doesn't appear to change as you say those words, but you're pretty certain what you said worked. You can feel it. "Fiunt acriores," you also say to give it a sharper edge. At that, you notice the edge of the knife become a bit shinier, but still... something doesn't feel right. ""Habe argentum obstupescunt," you say to give the knife a silver edge. Hopefully that will do something. After all, you saw your great-grandfather summon silver knives in his fight with Haypennywise. Maybe he's weak against them.

"What are you doing?" You suddenly hear Bon Bon's voice say as you turn to look at her.

"Nothing," you respond rather quickly as you spin your knife around like a G and holster it. Afterwards, you then quickly get your shoes on and head towards the door, taking the blank book you summon to you yesterday with you.

"Where're you going?" Bon Bon asks as she, rather quickly, walks towards you. She seems kind of worried.

Jason, take the blank book to the library and ask Spike if the cover looks familiar. Maybe he has a copy that isn't blank.

You really wish you had that latin book, maybe the library has a similar one.

"The library," you say to her. "I need to see if they have something." Bon Bon makes a motion towards you like she's about to stop you, like she doesn't want you to go, but then she stops herself and just looks down towards the floor. You kind of feel a bit bad for her and Lyra. You really do.

The only thing you can do for her now is just offer her a warm smile as you walk out the door. Her expression doesn't change though. You don't know how she took it.

"Protege," you say once the door is closed behind you. Hopefully that will do something to protect them. The barriers you cast on the two of them were still up, but you thought you'd add that just for a bit of extra protection.

With that done, you make your way towards the library.

On your way there, you pass by the town hall, and directly in front of you, you see Risen Flagg and his two associates meet up with The Mayor again and some pony who (to you at least) kind of looks like Sarah Palin. After you see them talk for a moment, the Palin pony leads Flagg and his little group away from the town hall and into the town proper. You could only guess what they were doing.

Luckily, they don't seem to notice you.

It doesn't take very long at all before you reach the library. The door dings as you walk inside.

"Hey, Jason," Spike says as he slides down from a latter and runs over to you. "How you feeling?"

"Better," you say. "Hey, um, do you think you could help me with something?" you say. You kind of want to get to the damn point right now. The sooner you get this done, the better. "Do you have a book that resembles this by any chance?" You say as you show him the book. You don't hand it to him though, part of you doesn't really want him to know it's blank.

"Hmm..." he says as he looks at it. "To be honest, I really have no idea," He says as he looks closely at it's blank cover. You... kind of expected that reaction. "What book is it?"

"It's some kind of language book," you say. You would call it a Latin dictionary, but you're absolutely 100% certain that that's not what it is. You've studied Latin in college (it's how you know how to speak it) and really, in a situation like this, a Latin dictionary would be useless. No, this book is something else.

Though, if what you fear about the Sons of Dunwich is true, then you're not going to find this book here.

"Oh," he says. "Well, the language section is over here if you wanna look."

"Thanks," you say as the two of you walk towards it.

You spend several moments searching for the book, though you really have no luck finding it. At all.... as you feared. In all likelihood, that book was a hand written account of... something, relating to the Latin abilities, so there's no way that it would have been in any library let alone here. That, and Latin doesn't even seem to be a language here, which also makes sense cause this is another planet.

Still, you keep looking.

"Hey Spike," you say as you move down to another shelf.

"Yeah," he replies.

"Did you ever send that letter to Celestia?" you ask him. You kind of want to know if she got it.

"Well...." he begins, making you feel uneasy. "I tried but..."

"But...." you say as you stop looking at the shelf and turn your attention towards him.

"It's weird, every time I try to send her anything, it just comes right back. Here I'll show you." He then walks over to a nearby desk and grabs a scroll of some kind, scribbles something on it, and then shows it to you. He then proceeds to roll it back up, and then (and this makes you feel a little uneasy for some reason) light it on fire with his fire breath.

Nothing happens for a few moments. You're about to say something, but Spike stops you.

"Wait for it..." he says. Then, after another quick moment, he burps, and the scroll he just lit on fire comes out of his mouth. After which, he unrolls it and shows you that what's on it is in fact, the same scribble he made earlier. "It's weird," he says. "Everything I try to send out just comes right back."

Well, if you weren't concerned before, you were now.

You stop looking for the book. It's not there. You know it isn't.

"Hey Spike," you say to him.

"Yeah," he replies.

Tell Lyra and Bon Bon that you want to have a meeting with the girls and Spike, you probably scarred them for life by showing your battle with the clown, so you should probably talk to them about it. Also you need to start working on a strategy with them. You need a team.
Ya they're just ponies, but who else do you really have that will help you, let alone believe you? You need them, and more importantly they need you.

"Do you..." you begin. "Do you think you can get Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie... you know, the elements of Harmony... here later today. There's something that we need to talk about. Something... really important."

Spike just looks at you for a moment. His expression is something you can't really read, but the look of concern on your face tells him everything.

"Yeah, sure," he says.

"Thanks," you say as you walk away from the bookshelf and over towards the door. You're done here.

"Jason, wait!" Spike shouts before you can open the door.

"Yeah," you say back to him.

"Um.... Pinkie was in here earlier. She said that she wanted to throw you a party for getting out of the hospital... or something like that. I think she mentioned that there were a bunch of new ponies in town too." Well... um.... you can't say that you're not surprised to hear that.... because you kind of are surprised. That was honestly quick for a party. "She said she was at Lyra and Bon Bon's house earlier, but you weren't there so she came by here, but when you weren't here she left."

Wait, when was she at your house? No one showed up when you were eating breakfast or in the shower so she could only showed up shortly after you left.... and then got here before you did.... and then left before you got here.....

By all that is holy how fast does that pink one move?

"So..." Spike begins to say.

"Yeah, yeah I'd like that," you say to him, even though he couldn't really do anything about it. Just... hearing that made you feel better... somehow. Pinkie Pie seemed really good at that... cheering you up.

"Oh... okay..." Spike says. Just before you're about to leave again, he stops you. "Wait!" he shouts before you open the door again. "Um.... what time do you want them here?" You think about that for a moment.

"Around 3:00," you say to him.

"All right," Spike replies. "See ya Jason."

"Later," you say to him. It's not even noon now. So this will work out just fine.

Once you're out of the library, you walk around it away from the town a little. You know where you're going, it's not too far.

Still... while you're on your way....

Jason. I cannot stress this enough.
Say in latin; 'Project my voice to Twilight Sparkle, and allow her to project her voice to me'

Next, say "I... You were right, Twilight. I was... Attacked by a being working for Nylatohep yesterday... And have gained some kind of magic. You can respond. Let's put our differences behind us, and work together on this. This world, and likely all others, are in grave danger."

"Dico Twilight Sparkle animo," you say as you walk away from the library.... Hopefully... if this does what you think....

"Twilight..." You begin to say. You begin to say, and you can literally feel your voice being projected to Canterlot. No, really, if you close your eyes, you can even see it.... But then something stops it. You feel your voice reach the edge of Ponyville... and just stop. It's as if some kind of bubble is around Ponyville preventing any kind of messages from leaving.

That... that was what you were afraid of. Something out here doesn't want any messages getting out. Something powerful.... something.... something that knows not only how to stop pony magic.... but yours as well.

What could even do that?

Still...

-A short walk later-

After a short walk, you find yourself in the middle of a deserted forested area just outside where the communication bubble is. You know, you saw how far it went out when your projected voice got bounced off.

You came across this area when you were running back into Ponyville from Sweet Apple Acres. There's nothing out here, and all the trees still appear to be standing. You're alone.

After you got your food and hygiene satisfied, do something productive. Other than checking in with the girls to see if Ponyville will live another day, there isn't much to do... Hey, here's a thought: do you really have to speak Latin out loud for your powers to work? If so, using it to do pointless activities must be tiresome to the throat. Another thought: Can you synchronize your Morgan bloodline abilities with your characters and maybe do more than just think a little like them?

Come to think of it, let's try something else, too. You can create whatever you want, so long as you can imagine it, right? With that in mind, see if you can conjure up your battle knife, too. Just as a test, really. Your grandfather did it with normal knifes, so this should work... And if it does, then holy crap, do you have a powerful weapon at your disposal. I hope you've always wanted a Green Lantern ring... Because you just got the powers, minus the ring's weaknesses.

That's why you're here.

You really still don't have much of an idea of how these Latin powers even work, and there isn't any kind of manual (that you know of here) that will tell you how to use them. So with that in mind, your best bet is to learn by doing.

That's why you came out here. You don't want anyone to see you doing this. Plus, if what you saw with your great-grandfather doing this is to be believed, then the results of what you're about to try might be... explosive. So yeah, you don't want anyone else getting hurt.

Then there is your character channeling. You've never really had much of a use for that before but, with your new powers.... can they be used together somehow....

So yeah, you have an empty field, no one around, and what you so far know to be limitless powers at your disposal.

Go nuts.

What do you do?

-Regarding the next chapter-

For this next chapter only, I will allow you all to switch out the fictional characters you are channeling on a whim while trying things out as opposed to making you all wait until you're not doing anything (or in passive mode if you will) to switch them out. But yes, this next chapter is meant for you guys to test out the limits of what you can do with these latin powers. So go nuts. Try out different things. If someone has already suggested what you were going to, think of something else, branch beyond the horizons. Try to think of many different things for Jason to try out. I don't want all of you to just say the same one thing. Be creative, be varied, come up with many different things. You have limitless powers at your disposal. Oh, and for the record, yes, these powers will work with the fictional character channeling. Oh, and yes, you can suggest as many different things to try out as you'd like. So yeah. Go nuts.

-Side Story.... OF DEATH!!!!!!!!.... Just kidding :pinkiehappy: -

-The Previous Night-

-Appaloosa-

The AIA Headquarters

*Appaloosa HQ*
*The secretary was on her way to the inspection house, but she saw a few stallions goofing off, spinning a... magi bomb on the tip of his hoof?!*
Secretary: Hey you! Put that thing down!
*He did, and he smirked at the secretary. He spoke a few words to his friends and they were back to work as if nothing happened*
Secretary: *sigh* *Entered the inspection house*
*Lab ponies were out and about, attaching and surrounding the mysterious device with loads of machinery. Papers and graphs piled onto cardboard boxes as if there was no tomorrow. One pony was prodding the thing with a small hammer! It all seemed... unnecessary. It could either be because of it's size, or that the timer was a rapidly ticking clock that could be the end of the world. It may as well be. It didn't take common sense for the secretary to have her suspicions when she read the report, and she even requested a team of explosive experts just in case. Even if she is right, the professionals had shown many times before that they can disarm any bomb in Equestria, so she has good faith in their ability.*
*A Lab Pony greeted her*
Lab Pony: Greetings, Ma'am. I take it your here to overview the inspection?
Secretary: Yes.
Lab Pony: Excuse me for asking, but where's the Director? Shouldn't he always be around for something like this?
Secretary: He's... Out.
Lab Pony: So the rumors of him not having a wink of sleep for the past few days were true... Don't you find that strange?
Secretary: You mean why would he stress himself so much? I thought so myself. I've never seen him so tense, not even during his first day as the director. He's usually relaxed.
Lab Pony: I don't suppose you know something?
Secretary: If I knew, it would be confidential.
Lab Pony: I'm sorry to hear that. Although, I wish he is here though...
Secretary: Hmm? Why? What exactly do we got on this thing? *points a hoof at the strange timed-contraption*
Lab Pony: Well, ma'am, we obviously figured out that the timer and the device is connected. Through our data and thanks to computer technology, we found out quickly that there's a lot of potential energy stored in the device. It's complex, and yet fragile and unstable, which means any outside source would most likely cause a chain reaction.
*The Secretary had sudden worry about that pony with the hammer*
Lab Pony: Fortunately, it was made to only react to internal forces from the timer.
*And she almost decided to call the explosives team right there*
Secretary: You mean we have a bomb? Delivered at our doorsteps?
Lab Pony: Yes.
Secretary: Whoever sent us this must be really confident to challenge us to disarm a bomb... This isn't what I've seen before, what are we dealing with?
Lab Pony: The energy it stores is... immeasurable.
Secretary: Immeasurable?
Lab Pony: Immeasurable as in too high to even count. Not only that, it also emits a strange radiation It's an unknown element in the realms of magic. It's design is too foreign, making it too risky to even attempt to disarm. Ma'am, we need more time before you call in the explosives team.
Secretary: *Looks at timer* We have a few hours at most. Make it quick.
Lab Pony: I would also like to suggest thinking of another way to deal with the bomb.
Secretary: I'll think about it.

*Grey Rebl's secretary walked up to the inspection house to see a few stallions goofing off... One of them was even balancing a magi bomb... on his hoof.*

Secretary: HEY YOU! PUT THAT DOWN!

*He did, gave the secretary a goofy smile. He spoke a few words to his friends and they were back to work as if nothing happened. The Secretary could only let out a loud sigh as she entered the inspection house, where lab ponies were out and about, attaching and surrounding the mysterious device with loads of machinery. Papers and graphs piled onto cardboard boxes as if there was no tomorrow. One pony was prodding the thing with a small hammer. It all seemed largely unnecessary. It could either be because of it's size, or because what was obviously a timer wasn't even activated, in fact, the whole device didn't seem to be on in any way. Still, it didn't take common sense for the secretary to have her suspicions when she read the report, and she even requested a team of explosive experts just in case. Even if she is right, the professionals had shown many times before that they can disarm any bomb in Equestria, so she has good faith in their ability. As she walked in, a lab pony came to greet her. *

Lab Pony: Greetings, Ma'am. I take it your here to overview the inspection?

S: Yes.

LP: Excuse me for asking, but where's the Director? Shouldn't he be around for something like this?

S: He's... Out.

LP: So the rumors of him not having a wink of sleep for the past few days were true... Don't you find that strange?

S: You mean why would he stress himself so much? I thought so myself. I've never seen him so tense, not even during his first day as the director. He's usually relaxed.

LP: I don't suppose you know something?

S: If I did, it would be confidential.

LP: I'm sorry to hear that. Although, I wish he is here though...

S: Hmm? Why? What exactly do we got on this thing?

*points a hoof at the strange contraption*

Lab Pony: Well, ma'am, from what we've been able to figure out through our data and thanks to computer technology, we found out quickly that there's a lot of potential energy stored in the device. It's complex, and yet fragile and unstable, which means any outside source would most likely cause a chain reaction.

*The Secretary had sudden worry about that pony with the hammer*

S: You mean we have a bomb? Delivered at our doorsteps?

Lab Pony: Yes.

S: Whoever sent us this must be really confident to challenge us to disarm a bomb...

LP: No, no, there's no need to worry about that. The device isn't even on.

*The secretary is suddenly confused.*

S: What?

LP: Yeah, I was just as surprised as you were. This device... bomb or otherwise, hasn't been activated in any way. It was made to only react to internal forces from the timer.

S: Timer? What timer?

LP: The blank display on the front of the device ma'am. We've concluded that it's some sort of timer, and the reason it appears blank right now is because, like I said, the device isn't active.

*The Secretary is suddenly confused.*

S: Okay... Can you tell me anything else about it. What are we dealing with here exactly?

LP: The energy it stores is... immeasurable.

S: Immeasurable?

LP: Immeasurable as in too high to even count. Not only that, it also emits a strange radiation It's an unknown element in the realms of magic. It's design is too foreign to us. Ma'am, I know it's not my place to ask, but why did this thing get sent here? Surely there are places better equipped than us to examine a device like this.

*The secretary is suddenly even more nervous.*

S: I.... I... We never requested it, and nopony told us we would be getting anything like this.

LP: What? ....

*The Lab Pony is just as confused as she is now.*

LP: But... but if that's true... Why would somepony send us a bomb like this... and not even bother to activate it?

*To the secretary, that was the million dollar question right there.*

-Time Unspecified-

-The Dalek Flagship, The Caesar-

The Port Side Hangar

*Dalek Ship*
Jimmy: Why do I feel as though I'm carrying too light?
Hacker 3: Probably because it's the wooziness you feel when you run out of air.
Steve: Can we not talk about such things while we are under stres?!
Hacker 3: Hey, being social relieves stress.
Jimmy: Yeah, what he said. *turns to hacker 3* Say, what's you hacker codename anyways?
Hacker 3: Slim Sam
Jimmy: Oh my god! *Points between himself and Slim* We're a duo! And... How fitting.
Slim: What's your full codename?
Jimmy: Jim the Jam.
Slim: Wow, who named us?
Jimmy:...
Slim:...
Jimmy: Why does it feel like I'm having deju ve and feel as though I'm forgetting something at the same time?
Slim: I think time and space is going to burst like a bubble if we think about it too much.
Steve: Uhh, isn't this conversation going to waste us air?
Nana: Chekov? *Boosts radio signal temporarily* I repeat, where are those suits suppose to be?!

-Enterprise Communication Booth-
Chekov: The suits haff been launched towards the port airlock by your level. You haff five minutes before they reach the doors and bounce off onto an unknown trajectory.

*The hackers get into one of the shuttles. Yet there is still no air. Immediately, Bronze Statue tears off an access panel and starts messing with wires.*

Jimmy: Hey... Why do I feel as though I'm carrying too light?

Hacker 3: Probably because it's the wooziness you feel when you run out of air.

Steve: Can we please not talk about such things while we are under stress?!

H3: Hey, being social relieves stress.

J: Yeah, what he said. *turns to hacker 3* Say, what's you hacker codename anyways?

H3: Slim Sam

J: Oh my god! You're Slim...

S: Yeah... wait.... what's your full codename?

J: Jim the Jam.

*They both stare at each other for a moment before they realize it.*

Both Slim and Jim: HOLY SHIT IT'S YOU!!!!

Hacker 4: You two know each other?

S: Know each other! Dude, this guy and I have been a hacking duo for so long it.... GAH I don't even-

J: Yo, remember that time with the pentagon?

S: *Starts laughing hysterically* Oh god yes. Oh... that was funny.

J: Yeah... Yeah it-

S: Uhh, isn't this conversation going to waste us air?

*The moment he finishes that, the ship suddenly activates and they all feel as if they can breathe again as air floods into the compartment.*

Bronze Statue: Okay I'm done.

S: WHAT! WAH HUH THA WA....

BS: I've had some experiences with machinery and alien technology before. Really, you should see what I'm working on at home.

S: So you.....

BS: Yes.

S: And you....

BS: Yep, the ship is working, we have air.

*Steve suddenly grabs Bronze Statue by his shirt with both hands.*

S: YOU MEAN YOU KNEW HOW TO FIX THE SHIP THIS WHOLE TIME AND YOU DIDN'T TELL US!!!!!! AND DON'T SAY I DIDN'T-

BS: You didn't ask.

S: GRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!

*BRP grabs Steve's arm right as he pulls it back to punch him. The look he gives him immediately makes him stop.*

BS: Before you ask, yes I can hopefully do something about the Caesar as well, but it's kind of difficult to do that when were running on no life support at all and are currently dying of asphyxiation.

*Steve is still angry at this.*

BS: If I get to the auxiliary power generators the Daleks were talking about, I can hopefully reactivate the ship, but since I can't breathe in space, the first thing I had to do was get us all here. Now, when the crew of the Enterprise gets us a way to breathe in space, then I should be able to head out into the ship and activate it's life support systems at least.

*Steve keeps holding him for a moment, but then lets him go. BRP lets go of his hand as well.*

BS: What?

S: I just...... I just.... You.... You of ALL PEOPLE..... Are the one who is going to save us........ Why does that make me even less comfortable than knowing that Registered Anonymous is going to save us all.

J: Because you're insane and have a power complex.

S: AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!

BS: Nana, call Chekov.

Nana: Huh, oh right. Chekov? I repeat, where are those suits suppose to be?!

Chekov: The suits haff been launched towards the port airlock by your level. You haff five minutes before they reach the doors and bounce off onto an unknown trajectory.

*Hugh Jackman contacts the two Dalek escorts outside.*

Hugh Jackman: That's your cue Daleks. Grab those suits before that happens and get them to us. We don't know about you, but we kind of like living.

Both Dalek Escorts through the communicator: WE OBEY!

Somewhere else on the ship

*Swimming Dalek skids to a halt as he turns and looks behind him. Slenderpony is no longer there.*

Me: Okay… I lost him… WHERE IS HE?
Dalek drone: Sensors indicate he is coming towards the hanger bay!
Me: Craptacular… *turn into rocket cheetah* I'LL GET YOU, YOU LITTLE COWARD!

Swimming Dalek: Okay... I lost him.... Wait.... I lost him..... HOLY F*** WHERE IS HE!?

Dalek drone from his communicator: Sensors indicate he is moving towards the hangar bay!

SD: Ah f*** me in the keyhole!

*He turns into a rocket cheetah and starts booking it.*

SD: How close are you to getting the power back on!

Dalek Regulus: Power will be restored in a few moments, but it would be wise to wait until-

SD: Turn it back on!

*There is radio silence for a moment.

Regulus: Commander....

SD: TURN IT ON NOW!!!!

The Port Side Hangar Bay

*Outside the shuttle where the hackers are, the two Dalek escorts are floating around outside waiting for the suits. Suddenly, out of nowhere, Slenderpony appears right in front of the two of them, and appears to be walking on the air right towards them. Both the dalek escorts, fearless, prime their blasters. Slenderpony, without fear, keeps walking towards them.*

Both Daleks: EXTERMINA-

*Before either of them can finish that sentence. The Caesar suddenly reactivates and this song suddenly starts blasting on maximum volume through the loudspeakers... even though space..... Everyone hears this. The hackers, the Enterprise Crew, even Roseluck, who has just found her escape route off the Enterprise, hears it as well. At this, Slenderpony just looks up at one of the loudspeakers for a moment, and then vanishes into thin air as the room suddenly goes dark again. Behind him, the two Dalek escorts can see the suits coming towards them.*

Author's Note

Status: Edited

Pointless chapter

Warning: Pointless

...

Messing Around (Part 1)

-Sorry I didn't post this yesterday. We were having some internet issues at my house and I didn't get my internet back until it was like 5 in the morning. So yeah.... Sorry.-

Suddenly, the pause button on reality it hit once again as the avatar of RazortheAwesome appears Q style and turns to face the fourth wall.

"What's up everyone. Before we begin, there is something that I need to address. While normally there'd be a bit of levity before I say anything important whenever I appear, right now I'm just going to get straight to my point. Oh yeah, and I talk in bold now. Deal with it.

"You see, due to the (and I cannot stress this next word enough) UNBELIEVABLE amount of suggestions you guys have given me for how to mess with Jason's newfound Latin powers, I have decided to split today's chapter up into two parts. The first of which will be posted right now (in fact, you're reading it right now), and the second part will be posted on Wednesday, and the 'What do you do?' prompt will be at the end of part two.

"There are several reasons for this, but mostly it has to do with both fact that again, you've all given me so many suggestions for today's chapter, and there are a lot of things I want to have happen in this chapter, both having to deal with Jason and otherwise, and I simply don't think I can fit it all into one chapter. So I've decided to split it up. That, and I don't want to have to write a 10,000+ word chapter again cause doing that by itself is stressful enough as it is, and you guys probably don't want to read a 10,000+ word chapter again if you don't have to. So to spare us both that pain, I'm splitting up today's chapter. Oh, and before I forget, the side story will be in part two as well. So you guys don't need to worry about not being shown here. You'll get what's coming to you next time.

"Don't worry, I'm not leaving again, and nothing major is going on behind the scenes this time. I just feel like this chapter is going to be especially long, and there a lot of details I want to focus on, and I feel that this is the best way to do that. So for now, just sit back, relax, enjoy today's chapter, and don't worry about what to say for next time or anything. That comes later.

"And.... that's about it..... Let's see, am I forgetting anything? ... ... ... Oh yeah. Of course. Now you need to listen to this closely because this is EXTREMELY important. Whatever any of you do, don't-"

The sound of what could only sniffling stopped the avatar of RazortheAwesome in his tracks as he looked over to his right to see Pinkie Pie standing right next to him. However, something was... off.... about her.

Her hair, while not completely deflated, didn't have the same level of "poofiness" it always did. Also she seemed to be looking at the ground more so than at Razor, and the look on her face was not the same happy, cheerful, and laughterful look she always had. It seemed as if someone (or rather somepony to be more accurate) had turned her smile upside down, and she looked as if she was trying and failing to contain Angel Falls behind her eyes. Basically, she did not look happy.

"Oh, hey Pinkie," the avatar of RazortheAwesome said to her as he turned to face her, and now it's just occurred to him that even though he is the one writing this, he still refers to himself in third person.... for some reason...... Oh well, it's how the story is written. "What's up?"

All at once, a dam within Pinkie Pie broke, and the moment those words left RazortheAwesome's mouth, she leapt forward, threw both her forehooves around Razor's torso, buried her face into his chest, and let loose a flurry of tears.

"Pinkie....." RazortheAwesome said, now sounding a little worried. "What's wrong?"

"I...." Pinkie tried to begin, but between the tears and the fact that her face was still buried in Razor's chest (again, need I remind you, in this story, ponies are roughly chest height compared to humans), it was kind of difficult. "I'm so sorry Razor...... I..... I...." She paused for a few moments to let loose some more tears. All the while, the avatar RazortheAwesome fought the urge to not use his godly powers as the author of this story to instantly dry his shirt.... because he could have.... but he didn't... he figured it would have been in poor taste. "I'm sorry for trying to hijack your story..... I really.... really.... really..... truly am....." she said again in between the tears. "It's just..... just...... first you didn't update for a long time.... and then you got depressed..... and then you left..... and then I was afraid you weren't gonna come back.... and then I started to think about the other humans like you who read this story.... and then I started to think about what they wanted.... and then I thought that you were........ and then.......... and then..... and then.... and then....... GAAAAAHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!" And at that, she let loose another flurry of tears. Still, RazortheAwesome said nothing. "I was so worried about you Razor.... Really, I was...... I was afraid you weren't gonna come back. That's why I did it.... That's why I tried to write your story for you. I thought that you wouldn't want to write it anymore after all that happened.... So I tried.... I thought I.... I...." And at that, she stopped talking and just cried.

"Hey, hey, hey..." the Avatar of RazortheAwesome replied in a soothing tone as he dropped lower and got to his knees. Pinkie Pie dropping down with him and plopped onto her haunches as she got close to the ground, never letting go of RazortheAwesome's avatar as she did. "It's okay, Pinkie Pie... It's okay..." RazortheAwesome's avatar said to her as he ran a hand through her mane. "I know...... I know you didn't mean to do anything wrong.... It's okay...." Razor's words seemed to have some effect on her, as Pinkie Pie seemed to be letting out a little less tears. "It's okay. Just let it all out. I'm not going anywhere." Then at that, Pinkie Pie pulled her head back for a little bit, took in a REALLY deep breath, and let loose another flurry of tears into Razor's chest. All the while he never let go of her. He was there for her.

-Thousands of tears later. I'm done using the Spongebob timecards, so yeah. Oh, and I can talk to all of you in these too.... Hi Eternal Infernape.-

"There, are we done?" the avatar of RazortheAwesome asked as Pinkie's tears had finally slowed to a crawl.

"Yeah," Pinkie Pie replied as she pulled herself away from Razor and wiped away the last of her tears with a hoof. Her eyes were still a little bit red, but that was not a big deal to either of them. "Yeah, I think I'm okay now."

RazortheAwesome's shirt, thanks to his powers as the author, was now completely dry as if it had never been cried on, and thank god it was, it's a shirt that doesn't exist in real life.

The two of them just sat there for a moment and looked at each other. Pinkie Pie.... her frown had actually managed to turn upside down, and her hair was back to the way it was. Also she looked a little bit more pink than usual for some reason.... Still, she didn't say anything else for a while. She just kept smiling at Razor.

"Hey," RazortheAwesome's avatar finally said to break the silence. "You wanna go grab a sandwich or something? I don't know about you, but I'm feeling kind of hungry."

And at the exact mention of the word "sandwich," Pinkie's smile grew until it reached her two ears.... quite literally in fact. It was kind of scary to see.... even on cartoon dimensions. Anyway, her smile grew as she leapt up into the air and wiggled her hooves as if she were running in place.

"YES YES YES!!!!!" Pinkie Pie practically screamed as she floated in the air for exactly 2.63 seconds before landing back on her hooves. "Yes, I'd love a sandwich."

"Hmm.... Well, lets get going then," Razor said as he stood back up turned around, and started walking. "We gotta get back by the time the story updates again, or at the very least the next time you appear."

"Yay!" Pinkie shouted as she jumped in place again before she landed back on the ground and started hopping next to Razor, following him the whole way. "Thank you Razor Bazer!"

"Yeah, please don't call me that.... ever..... while we're in public," Razor said to her.

"Can I get a cake and cupcake sandwich?" Pinkie Pie asked him as she stopped her hopping and just started walking normally next to him. Albeit trying and failing to trip herself every other step or so. At that, RazortheAwesome's avatar could only let out an annoying groan.

"God I hate you so much Pinkie Pie," he said.

"I know Razor Bazer.... I know," Pinkie Pie replied before just like that. They were gone.

And now with that out of the way, the story shall resume for real this time.

Experimenting with Latin

What's In You by Black Label Society

Right, then. You're out of the communications blocking field, yes? In that case, before anything, try to get a message out to either Twilight or Celestia. Either would work. Make sure they know something very wrong is happening, and someone seems to be knowingly trying to stop them from finding out.

Get in contact with Twilight and Celestia. NOW! They need to know about what's going on

First, say "Proiciamus, et vox mea ad Twilight Sparkle," and tell her what's going on, namely the meeting, and the bubble.

The first thing that occurs to you is that since you're out of the communication barrier, you should try to contact Twilight and Celestia in Canterlot again. However, after you think about it for a second, you decide not to. The reason is simple really. The barrier seemed to be set up in order to prevent any message from getting to Canterlot, and if it knew about your abilities well enough to block those too, then it stands to reason that whoever set it up the barrier would be smart enough to detect anything coming from outside it as well. Plus, even where you are, Canterlot is unfortunately behind you, so any kind of message would locally have to pass through the barrier before it gets there, so whoever set it up would be able to detect it, and by extension detect you.

Basically, the more you think about it, while it would seem like a good idea to contact Twilight and Celestia now, whoever set up that barrier was smart, and is probably smart enough to be prepared for anyone whose first instinct is to just walk outside of it. That, and you don't want to get discovered. Not yet anyway. You will contact them later... just not now.

Set a up few barriers around the areas, sound-proof and damage-proof.

Still, since you don't want to be discovered either, and since you know you can apparently set barriers, you decide to set up a few around the area where you are as well.

"Nemo audiunt aut vident," you say aloud as you set up a barrier that prevents anyone, or anypony in this word's case, from looking into it. "Fiat experimentum in damnum sit impedimentum." Hopefully that will make them damage proof as well. "Quam si quis intrat, hac licentia." That takes care of that. Nobody should be bothering you now... hopefully.

Now you can really begin.

If not, Switch him out with your inner Dragonborn, and see if you can't make a facsimile of the Dragon Shouts, because that would be awesome.

Well, since you're just now taking the time to figure out how to use your powers, the first thing you decide you should do is.... well, blow something up.

You want to channel the Dragonborn and try to use a dragon shout, however, you've tried this before. You can't really channel the dragonborn cause the dragonborn himself is a non-character. He's anything the player wants him to be. Hell, the only reason he's special is because of the dragon shouts. Then again... you wonder... maybe you can't use the dragon language... but...

"Adfligens vis!" You turn and yell at a nearby tree that unfortunately, happens to be right next to you. The effect of your voice... produces the exact effect you hoped it would. Some kind of invisible force comes out from nowhere and pushes the tree in front of you forward. However... the what you just did seems to be way more powerful than the simple "Unrelenting Force" shout, as the tree is uprooted completely by the force of your voice and sent flying like a small rock.

That... kind of surprised you... to say the least. That was awesome. So you could use the dragon shouts if you want to. You just need to say their names in Latin, not the dragon language.

You're off to a good start. What else do you got?

Also, try giving yourself Batman's gear and the skills to use them. Maybe using the Latin for "The mask is me" to become Batman.

See if you have the awesome fighting skills like Batman
See if you can do things like the Doctor, such as speaking languages you've never heard and knowing how Time works
Feel the sharpness in your senses from channeling King Arthur, Then move on to other fun stuff

Okay, let's test your limits. Does your powers happen only in literate terms? Is figure of speech null? Is you imagination truly the extent of your powers? Likewise, grab leaf and say, "Blow up the leaf" Does it simply floats away upwards instead of exploding like you want it to?

A thought occurs to you... well, several actually.

The first has to do with the words themselves. You've already established that this power has more to do with your imagination and less to do with the actual words, but do you have to speak them aloud? Yeah, maybe for more powerful things you could understand, but what about for little things.

With this in mind, you walk over to the remains of the "unrelenting forced" tree, and pick up a leaf.

You look at the leaf for a moment.

You look at it and think to yourself. "Ardens folium," but it does nothing. Okay, so the words do have to be spoken.

"Blow up the leaf," you say in english, but again, nothing happens. Okay, so that clears that up, it does have to be in Latin. At least as far as you know.

"Ardens folium," you say aloud, and just as imagined it, the leaf explodes in your hand. Well, it's more of a "poof" really, but it's a leaf. What more do you want?

Still, another thought lingers, it's about the fictional characters you are channeling. Before you could only use them for intellectual purposes, but ever since you've developed this power.... they haven't really been the same. Maybe it's cause of Batman, or maybe it's Arthur, but your senses feel sharpened, like you have some kind of sixth sense for evil. You don't know anything new, at least you think you don't.

You inner Doctor Who doesn't seem to be giving you any knowledge that you don't already know. You're not getting their memories or experiences... maybe....

You decide to try something.

You stand perfectly still for a few moments.... but then, out of nowhere, you jump up into the air, and do a spinning kick. This.... surprises you, you could never do that before. After a few moments, you try out a few more martial arts moves.... suddenly, you're able to do them. You were never able to before, but....

Maybe..... Batman...

Channel Connor from Assassin's Creed 3 and start parkouring on all the trees

You're not in a fight right now, so you can't test it for sure, but you think you're getting your fighting skills from Batman.

If that's true, then maybe the characters you're channeling don't really have any special incants or words you need to say for them. Maybe you actually can use their abilities.

Still, even though you aren't in a fight right now, you do think of one way you can test this out.

You switch out one of your characters for Connor from Assassins Creed 3 as you walk up to a tree and start climbing it.

It's not very high, but there are other trees close enough to it.... You look down for a moment before you move forward... and jump from one tree to the next. Then again, and again, and again. It doesn't take long before you're parkouring through all of the trees just like Connor would have. You even, still using your inner Batman, jump from one tree to the next, grab a branch, and flip around it a few times like an acrobat. IT'S AWESOME.

You then even drop from tree from there, flip a few times, and land perfectly on your feet, just like Batman would have.

Channel Michael Jackson and do some of his killer moves perfectly

Channel The Green Ranger and see if you can morph into his suit, then use the dragon dagger to summon the dragonzord

1 : channel tommy the white ranger and use your powers to intiate "morphing time"

Now try channeling a character, say something along the lines of "Give me this person's abilities," and try out a technique they would know. IE, if it's Goku from Dragon Ball, try a Kamehameha, if Ryu from Street Fighter, try a Hadouken, etc... Keep trying out stuff like this, and see if you can do it, and what the limits are of it. Can you do characters' techniques? Can you gain their strength and agility? Can you gain their personality, memories, or experience? Heck, maybe you can even have a conversation with the character! Go all out, and learn all you can about it. It would be amazing to combine your powers together like that.

Channel Super Mario and practice jumping around, seeing if you can get his height in jumping powers. Not only that but also see if you can pull off his "Mario Finale" Final Smash

And after that.... you're feeling a little bit..... badass.... and green....

"Suus tempore morphing!" you shout as you stand back up and do the motions like you are morphing into the green ranger outfit... and for some reason... this works.... there's a small explosion.... and suddenly, you're in the green ranger outfit.

Unfortunately, this outfit is.... a lot tighter than you thought it would be.

"Aufer," you say to remove it, and it goes away.

Afterwards, you then cycle thought channeling various martial artist like characters that you know of (including the green ranger) and try in place, just doing a few martial arts moves. You don't summon any weapons though, you'll get to those later. To your surprise.... you do all the moves perfectly. Yeah, you knew basic self defense before, but nothing like this.

Without saying anything, are able to replicate the moves of Ryu from Street Fighter, Batman, Goku, The Green Ranger, and even to a degree, Mario. You even channel Michael Jackson for a bit and to your surprise, are able to replicate his moves... to the T.

So you are able to use the abilities of your fictional characters now.... AWESOME!!!!

However, as you land after one last spinning kick, you put your hands together and throw them forward like you're about to do a "Hadoken", but nothing happens. You even say "HADOKEN!" But again, nothing happens.

Afterwards, you then try to kamehameha, and a few other things... but nothing happens....

You even try a phrase that should give you the character's abilities, but it does nothing.... Yeah, you kind of do have their abilities, but what gives? You're not getting their powers.

However, a thought just occurs to you... You HAD to use Latin before.... unfortunately, you don't know the Latin phrase for hadoken or kamehameha, but you try something simpler instead.

"Globus Ignis," you say aloud as you do the hadoken motions.... and it does work... It's not a hadoken, but you do shoot a fireball from your hands that acts like the hadoken and hits the tree.

You stand up a bit at that and relax for a few moments. Okay, so what happened here?

You were able to utilize the abilities of your channeled characters to near perfection. Granted you didn't get any of their memories or knowledge, you just acted and you did it. It was only when using their powers that you came to a brick wall.

So, apparently for any type of superpowers..... you do apparently have to say the latin phrase for it. Regular, human like abilities don't require the words.

However....

Currently you're channeling Goku.

You look over to a tree that's right next to you.... and punch it. Surprisingly, you don't hurt your fist... and your punch... actually makes an indent in the tree. Yeah, it doesn't completely get punched away like you thought it would... but still.... it was a punch.... and it did something.

You then remove the Goku channel... and try it again on the same tree. Same result. Okay, you are stronger than before... it's not much, but it's nowhere near Goku level.

You just... believed you were a bit stronger....

Okay, you could believe you could do the abilities of the characters you were channeling, but somehow, super strength is stopping you. You're hesitant to try out super speed, cause you think it'd be the same result.

Now, try out something along the lines of, "My punch can break boulders." Then... punch a boulder. See if you can modify your strength to that level. Not necessarily your body, per se, but your strength itself. Heck, if that works, try "My punch can break mountains," and hit a tree... I wonder what'd happen.

Give yourself Super Strength and punch the ground and leave a crater

Okay, since that isn't working, you decide to try something out.

"Ferrum meum irritum potest gerit!" you shout as you punch the tree.... and like a twig, tree shatters into pieces. It doesn't shatter completely in half... it just shatters into pieces.

Okay, so you are a bit stronger than before, but true super strength, it seems, is a superpower, and as you've just established. Super powers require the Latin phrase to go with it.

You take another moment to think this thought.....

...

...

...

...

Okay, you think you have it. All the things you were doing that were the result of the character channeling, they weren't superpowers. So they didn't need the phrase. At the same time though, you could do them cause you were channeling them. Yet, they weren't superpowers....

So that means that if something is possible for a human to accomplish, then you don't need the Latin phrase. All the moves you were doing before were things that could definitely be accomplished by humans without the need of superpowers. Sure, you were channeling fictional characters to get them, but still.

So, it seems that if it is possible for a human to accomplish it, you don't need the Latin phrase. As far as the super strength though... well, that wasn't really super strength when you just made a dent in that tree. You know it's possible for humans to get that strong. Yeah, it takes years of training but it's still possible. So yeah, as long as it's possible for a human to accomplish, you don't need the Latin phrase. True you might need specific fictional characters to do specific moves when fighting, like say, you might do a shoryuken better as Ryu than as Goku. You could still do the shoryuken cause you'd know the move, but it wouldn't likely be as effective since you're not channeling the character that the move is associated with.

So yeah, if it's possible for a human to accomplish, you don't need the latin phrase.

Suddenly, your character channeling ability just got a whole lot more useful. Still, you can't just super powers without the phrase, but still...

Speaking of superpowers though.

Say, if you can makes things happen, does it have to be a phrase? If you just simply say "ignis" for fire, it would be formless, which probably means it would appear by what you imagined. If so, the same could be for other elemental words. -Aqua, -Ventus, -Umbra, -Terra, Ect. Although, would it require specific commands to get a specific shape?

Now the real fun begins. You look forward at the burnt tree that you hit with the fireball early. You're done messing with your character channeling now. Lets test out some real powers.

The burnt tree gives you an idea to try something else out.

"Globus Ignis," you say as you look at your hand, and suddenly, a fireball appears in it. It appears and just stays there, just like you imagined it would. It's also not burning your hand. Okay, now you've summoned it, do you need additional words to control it.

You saw your great-grandfather summon a storm of knives and control them without additional words, so maybe....

You imagine the fire moving up your arm to your elbow... and it does. You then move the fire from your left hand to your right, and then back again. It works. It flies over your head as it travels from one hand to the other. So, you summoned the fire, but now it seems you have perfect control over it without saying anything else. Still, in the back of your mind, you are feeling something... It's little but it's there.

So, apparently, if you summon something with your words, like fire or anything of the like, since you summoned it, you have full control over it until you relinquish control of it, say to do another attack.

To do this, you move the fireball back into your left hand and close it. When you open your hand again, the fire is gone.

The fire is yours, so it does what you wish.

Okay, so you use a superpower with a latin phrase. Once you use it, or activate it you guess, then you have full control over it without any additional phrases until you relinquish it. With the fire, you had to summon it with the latin phrase and it came out as a fireball, but once you had the fire, you could move it around as you pleased with no additional commands, and it only went away when you didn't want it anymore. This... could be helpful.

Try out, "Create spear." Or something really simple like that. That should work, easy.

"Hastam," you say as you hold out your hand. Almost instantaneously, a spear appears. The one that you imagined in your head. You spin it around a few times like a martial artist for good measure, but then you hold it on front of you for a moment and look at it.

You remember when your great-grandfather summoned the knives, they floated around in mid air for a while. So, with that in mind, you hold up the spear horizontally in front of you.... and then let go. The spear is floating... in mid air... As it does though, that feeling in the back of your head is returning again. It's not ghost Pinkie Pie, it's something else, but it's there.

You then try to move the floating spear around with your mind... and are successful. You move the spear around force style and do all kinds of things with it. It's a bit awkward first, but you suppose you'll get used to it in time with some more practice.

Next, try creating something completely different. Try creating a squirrel. A real, living, breathing squirrel. If that works... Oh my god, the possibilities are insanely awesome... You could create packs of wolves to fight at your side. You could make packs of wolves made of STEEL that fight at your side...! And speaking of steel wolves, that brings me to my next point: what if it doesn't work? If it doesn't work, then try to create a robot of some kind. Assuming you don't have to know every little detail of an object in order to make it- after all, I doubt you knew the exact properties of the glass you fixed- then you MIGHT be able to make some sort of robot. If it helps, make it a robot you know well. The T1000, for example. Maybe channeling a character that makes robots would help. Doctor Gero, maybe?

You then relinquish the spear... and a smirk grows across your face as you decide to try something a little... daring.

You hold out your hand and point towards the ground in front of you.

"Arcessentes sciurus," you say. Yeah, you're trying to summon a squirrel. Sure, you could do cooler things like a pack of wolves or Godzilla, but baby steps here.

The moment you start to feel any kind of effect however..... nothing happens, and instead, that feeling in the back of your head that you got before returns... with a vengence.

"AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" You scream at the top of your lungs as it feels like someone literally just tried to stab you in the back of the head. You fall to your knees and put your hands on your head as you're hit with the worst headache you've ever felt in your life. It literally does feel like someone tried to stab you in the back of the head.

Oh god, the pain, you can't do anything right now, you have to stop.

-45 minutes later-

After a while, the headache subsides, and you're able to stand again. What just happened? You did the same thing you did with the fire and the spear but..... it was a living creature....

Then it hits you... like a knife to the back of the head.

You cannot summon/create living creatures from nothing. That sort of power is beyond you. Even with all you have, you're still just a mortal human. That... narrows the possibilities down quite a bit, but still... Damn....

As you stand back up, you look over towards another nearby tree... and decide to try something else.

"Dissipabitur!" you shout. It works, and the tree is instantly destroyed, nothing but atoms remain of it.... but the headache returns, though not nearly as bad as the last time.

So, these powers do take some kind of toll on you. It's not a physical toll obviously, but something else. Yeah, you could destroy something, but it required a lot of focus from you, and it hurt a lot to do so. Okay, you can't create living things, fair enough, but what exactly is the limit of this power? Yeah, you just atomized something, but that took a lot out of you too...

You'll have to think about this later... when you're head is not in throbbing pain.

You would, but then suddenly, it hits you. It would appear it seems, not all powers are meant for mortals. Creation it seems is still god's domain.

Still, there are a lot of other badass things you can do, and after your headache subsides. You're feeling up for trying them now.

Channel your inner Gordon freeman(Freeman's Mind), summon a crowbar, and see if that does any better than your knife.

The first thing you do is channel your inner Gordon Freeman and summon a crowbar. Yeah, you have the skills to use said crowbar now, but it's not really fairing much better than you're knife. What you do get from this though, is that the crowbar works well with the Gordon Freeman channel. You somewhat figured this out already, but maybe this goes a bit deeper than you thought.

Channel Superman and see if you get super strength and the ability to fly and shoot lasers out of your eyes and stuff

Now, try flying. Yes, flying. Say, "I can fly," and see if you can, well, fly. After that, try out invisibility. You could do protection spells, so invisibility and flying should be possible too, right?

You then try channeling Superman and giving yourself the ability to fly. It does work, albeit it does require a bit more focus than you thought it would, and the feeling in the back of your head is returning faster than you thought it would. Also it's kind of a pain to control. Both of these are made a bit easier by channeling Superman, but it's not really helping in the long run.

What you do figure out though, is that you seem to have a lot more control (and it requires a lot less focus) to simply jump really high.

That's another thing you've noticed about some of these powers. You really have to focus on them, and certain abilities require more focus than others. That's probably why it was so difficult to create the squirrel earlier. Creating a living being requires so much focus that your mind couldn't take it. Likewise you could destroy something, but it still required a lot of focus to do so. Maybe there's a way to ease this somehow.

Channel Aang from Avatar the Last Airbender and see if you can control the elements

You then decide to channel Aang from Avatar and see what it can do. You do have to admit that this does help you control the elements (particularly wind) a little bit better. So, picking a good fictional character can help with focusing on certain abilities.

Using and controlling fire and air for example, required less focus when you were channeling Aang as opposed to just doing it on your own. You could still do it on your own without channeling Aang, but channeling a character who knows how to control the elements really helps.

Also when channeling him you notice that when you do control the elements, you tend to subconsciously do things like he would as opposed to just doing it like you would. Maybe that comes with the control and help with focus, you don't know.

Also, Aang does give you the ability to use a staff and spear like a boss.

Channel The Man with No Name from the Good the Bad and the Ugly and summon a six shooter and test out your marksman skills

Summon a military rifle and fire it into the surrounding trees

Channel Hawkeye and summon a bow, infinite arrows/a gun with infinite ammo and a target and practice shooting to check your Marksmanship

With that done, you then channel The Man With No Name from the Clint Eastwood movies and give yourself a revolver. Unsurprisingly at this point, you can hit every target you aim at.

You then channel Hawkeye and give yourself a bow, and do the same thing. You hit every single target. It's just like Aang, certain characters do work better with certain abilities it seems.

Aang gave you better control over the elements these two gave you better accuracy with certain weapons.

What neither of them do however, is give you Batman's insight and problem solving abilities or The Doctor's ability to deal with alien things. Yeah, they help with fighting, but as far as intellectual things, they aren't for much. You do have to admit, you did feel yourself get a lot stupider than usual when you switched out Batman or The Doctor for characters like Aang. Yeah, Aang is badass, but he doesn't have the same abilities as Batman that can help you outside of a fight.

So yeah, character channeling helps you in a fight too, but also outside it. And since you still can't switch out fictional characters mid combat or mid... anything really, you still have to be wise about which ones you want to pick and use.

Channel Link and an Ocarina and play the song of storms (If this works Rainbow Dash will be confused :rainbowhuh:)

You also decide to channel Link from Ocarina of Time and summon up an ocarina, which you then use to play the Song of Storms..... which does nothing at first, but then you decide to try something else.

"Carminus tempestates," you say aloud, then play the song again. To your surprise.... it works... and it starts raining for a little bit. For only a little bit though, it stops after a minute or so.

Why did you do this? No reason really, just for a bit of fun, and just to see if you could do it.

Summon a friggin Tank and drive it

Afterwards, you then decide to summon a friggin tank. Because why not.

You do create a tank. However, the mental strain and focus required to do so is a lot more than you thought. Yeah, it's not summoning a living creature or anything like that, but still it's a lot. It would see that the more complicated a machine is (or the thing you want to summon), the more focus you have to put into it and thus the more difficult it is to create and the more strain it puts on you to do so.

That's probably why your great grandfather mostly stuck to simple things like knives and fireball during his fight with Haypennywise. With that in mind, keeping things simple is probably best.

Summon nude Scarlett Johansson and a camera (Snap as many pics as you can)

Unfortunately, you cannot summon a nude Scarlett Johansson much less a camera to take picture of her. Again, living things and all that. What you can do however, is summon nude pictures of Scarlett Johansson. That works well enough.

2 : channel master chief and use armor lock

You try using an armor lock like ability both with and without channeling Master Chief. They both work equally well.

3 : channel booker dewitt and use possession on a tree
4 : channel pewdiepie, look for stephano

You then get the idea to try and channel a certain character that can hell you possess a tree. When you try this though, separating your mind from your body hurts... a lot.... both mentally and physically.... So yeah.... you are not doing that again... ever.

You're fine now though, no need to worry about a thing.

You have no idea who Pewdiepie is, so you're not going to do that either.

Give yourself the ability to add an elemental property to your weapons of choice
Give yourself Super Strength and punch the ground and leave a crater
Give yourself the ability to channel your energy and the ability to fire it like a projectile
Give yourself the ability to create illusions
Give yourself the ability to teleport.
Give yourself the ability to see the future
See if you can slow down time around you or atleast slow your opponents down

Then, see if you can summon and modify copies of your knife, such as adding enchantments, like Flame Edge to cauterize wounds inflicted with it, as this will be helpful in case you encounter a Learnian Hydra. (A Hydra that regrows heads.) Then see if you can make Shadow Clones of yourself, so you can approach an enemy from all sides, and overwhelm them with numbers. Then test your magic in Alteration, to attempt to alter a rock into a house, then a nearby bird into a bat if the rock works.

You then decide to try out a whole range of things.

You summon both a weapon, and try to add some kind of elemental property to it, and it does work. Really, it's as simple as summoning both the weapon, and then the element you want to add onto it. You could summon them both at once, but really, summoning the weapon first, then the element is much easier. Granted this does require more focus since you're doing two things as opposed to one, but that's to be expected really.

You also try messing with the knife you currently have as well. You try to make some copies of it, which you do, though the original one still works better with you. You also try enchanting your knife with an elemental property like the weapon you summoned, and it also works.

However, since this is not a weapon you summoned, but rather one you have, it required less focus. The first one required you to create the weapon, and then enchant it with the elemental property you wanted. With this... you already had the knife, so all you needed to do was add the enchantment. Also, you have some better degree of control with the knife in your hand rather than a weapon that you created. Yeah, you could use both, but you're better synched to the knife, you guess is the best way to put it.

So yeah, real weapons are in some respects better than weapons you create.

You then try creating illusions of yourself, and are able to do it quite well. Granted physical copies are harder to create than illusions for obvious reasons.

You also try teleporting, which you imagine just like what happened when Celestia teleported you to the bathroom in Canterlot Castle.... what, it's the only frame of reference you have really. You manage to do it, but as you expected, longer distances costs more focus and is harder to do. Also, teleporting just feels weird to you.... You're not sure why.

You also try to see the future, but you get nothing..... you have no control over time it seems, and the future doesn't seem to be set in stone. That's okay... you guess....

Now, try and see if you can physically alter your body. Say, "My muscles grow," and if your muscles get bigger, then you can modify your own body at will. The possibilities that could arise from such an ability are astounding...

"Mea musculorum augentur," you say aloud... and you feel your muscles start to grow in size.... but it also hurts quite a bit. You relinquish the power as quickly as possible before it got too bad though. You can still move your arm.

So, you can change your appearance, but doing so.... okay this seems obvious now, but you're literally changing the stuff you are made of, it's not like you aren't gonna feel something. And your muscles and ligaments being torn and stretched like that, it's gonna hurt. With effects like that, giving yourself super strength is a lot easier than just making your muscles grow.

Just for fun, try to turn yourself into a pony. If you're a pony, then there's nothing wrong with pursuing one or more of your new friends romantically. Just make sure to change back, since only humans can defeat Nyarlathotepe, apparently.

Give yourself the ability to transform

You thought of trying to give yourself the ability to transform or become something else... maybe a pony, but with this recent revelation, you're starting to think that might not be a good idea. Just increasing the size of your muscles hurt like a bitch, so transforming your entire body into something else must be..... yeah, you don't even want to think about that level of pain.

Channel Mystique from X-Men and try to change your appearance (Look like some of the people you are channeling)

You do come up with a way around this though, as you imagine an ability similar to the illusion you cast earlier, and as you say the correct words, make yourself appear to look like someone else a la Mystique from X-men. Also speaking of her, this ability also works better while channeling her too.

This is by no means a full on transformation, it's just a hologram/illusion, so if you lose focus or relinquish it, you'll loose the appearance you took on. Also if someone touches you, they'll find out immediately it's really you. Also this requires you to both have the image (the full image, from head to toe), of the person you want to become in your head when you say the words, and you have to be specific with the name of that person or pony (yes it does work with pony forms, you tried) you want to become.

Also you can change into the character you are channeling a lot easier than you can any other person... for some reason.

Now try saying something along the lines of, "My wounds regenerate quickly." Then give yourself a little cut. See if the cut seals up. Might not work completely on the large wound on your shoulder, but your grandfather seemed to have healed you back there. Maybe a spell like this will help heal you consistently throughout a fight. If it doesn't work, try channeling Deadpool, and try again. His powers might change the outcome.

What's the difference from healing/enhancing your body by saying "I heal/ I become fast" than doing so to a specific part of the body ("my left arm regenerates/my legs become stronger")?

Doing all this reminds you of something else as well. You remember that before he fought Haypennywise, your great-grandfather said something that healed you. If that is possible, is it possible to heal yourself?

With that in mind, you pull out your knife... you hesitate at first.... but you give yourself a little cut... just a little one. Just on the finger.

"Celeriter curare vulnera mea," you then say aloud. Your wound does close... but... it's weird. It feels like that took a bit more focus than it should have. It was just a small cut on the finger, so it wasn't much at all, but it still feels like that should have been a lot simpler.

You guess if you were healing somebody else... it would have....

That's why he healed you. Because doing it yourself wouldn't have worked as easily. If just this little cut was a bit harder than it should have been, then healing much larger wounds might be a bit more difficult, you hope that you don't get to find out soon enough. Still, if it means that somebody else healing you is preferable, then that might cause some issues in the future.

You're still not quite sure why it's doing this. Maybe you'll find the answer later somehow. For now though, it's just weird to you.

Use your Latin powers to try to do this.

"Erumpentium incendii digitum!" you shout as you thrust your right hand forward into a tree as it burns red hot. After a few moments, the tree explodes, leaving only splinters and the remains of a burnt tree, just like you imagined it would.

That attack was powerful, and as such, it took a lot of focus to pull off..... As awesome as that was, there has to be a better way to pull this off. There are a lot of powerful things you discovered you could do that would be more useful if they used up less focus. They would.... wait...... you have to say the words to use them.

"Manum meam est ardens rubrum!" you shout as you turn to face another tree and start running towards it. "Magno fragore manifestam mihi percipere victoriae!" As you scream these words, your hand grows hotter and hotter, much hotter than it was before. Then, just as you reach the tree. "Erumpentium! Incendii! Digitum!!!" You shout at the top of your lungs as you stick your hand into the tree again.

This time however, the tree doesn't just explode, your hand... it's much hotter than it was before. You actually stand there for a moment and watch as the tree starts to glow a little bit, and then spontaneously catch fire from the intense heat in your hand. Then, like before, it explodes. When the dust clears however, nothing, only ash remains.

You're..... you actually have no words for this. For just the same amount of focus as you put into the last attack.... you all but destroyed this tree when the last time, there's still a burnt stump left.... How did you even do that? You didn't put in any more or less focus, so how....

It was the words.

The words help you focus.

You said more words this time when you did the attack, so ergo the attack was more powerful because you were putting more into it.

That's it. That's how you can make focusing these abilities that much easier. You have to say more words. The more words you say, the easier something is to do. Granted, since the attack or ability you want to use isn't actually used until after the words have already been spoken, then perhaps in a battle situation saying incredibly long phrases for simple attacks might not be a good idea.

So saying fewer words to do something requires more focus on your part, on the other hand, saying more words requires less focus and will allow you to do more awesome things, but they take time to charge up before they are actually used. You'll have to decide which words you want to actually say wisely when it comes down to it. Short and simple, or long and powerful, you guess it would depend on the situation.

Still, you did find what you were looking for. A way to make focusing on these abilities easier.

Summon the ghost pinkie by breaking the fourth wall, think about breaking a pinkie promise, or something. Channel Sam Winchester, and see if exorcism works. Supernatural exorcisms, see what fugior and peto celerrime does when spoken. summon a pitfall in front of Flagg for Lulz.

It crosses your mind that you would LOVE to perform an exorcism this way... unfortunately, there is no one and no pony around for you to exorcise. You would like to think that to perform and exorcism, there must be something that you need to perform the exorcism on, and none seem to be available at the moment.

The thought however, does remind you of the end of the fight with Haypennywise where both you and your grandfather were saying the same words to banish him to the howling abyss.... at least, you think that's what you were doing.

Now that you think about it though, banishing something that powerful, might be more difficult than you realize. It will probably take some really long speech in Latin on your part to pull off. A simple two or three word phrase won't do at all for something that powerful. Then again...... you could destroy a tree..... albeit with a major headache in the process, so why can't you destroy them that way? Maybe they can't be killed that way.... you don't know. What you do know is, you're not about to destroy anything like that again. In a fight no way is that gonna help you.

channel your inner Pyro and summon your inner fire shouting
"ABSOLUTIS INFERNA!"
(ABSOLUTE INFERNO)
summoning a wall of fire that destroys everything around it in a blaze of drath and glory
and realise everything is on fire an panicly scream
"posuerunt ignem de!'
(put the fire out!"

With that... you think you can pretty much call yourself done.

You walk over to a nearby tree, lean back against it, and slide all the way down until you're sitting on the ground. By God the amount of things that are destroyed is just phenomenal...... and you're making a note never to use that word again... you don't like it.

But anyway, you did a lot.

Part of you wants to, as a last ditch effort, unleash your inner pyro and just annihilate everything since you know how to now apparently, but you hold it back for now. As awesome as that would be, you really don't want to have to explain that later.

Try to summon your comfy pants, along with some modern battle armor, so you can be comfortable AND protected.

Instead, you, with your powers, summon up the comfy pants that you had back home... okay, they're an exact copy of them as you imagined them, but they're there. God they are so comfy. You don't summon any battle armor though, not yet.

As you lean back against the tree. You take a moment to review everything you've learned so far while doing this today.

To summarize what you've learned about your new powers.

1.) You CAN use the abilities of the characters you are channeling now to a degree.

2.) If something is possible for a human to accomplish, then you don't need the Latin phrases. With regards to the characters you are channeling, you can use their abilities without using Latin phrases as long as it is possible for a normal, real life human being to accomplish them. Some examples include parkouring around the trees, as you did, most forms of martial arts moves, as you also did, and making yourself a bit stronger, faster, and more agile to a degree that if a human being can do it naturally, then so can you.

3.) Any and all forms of superpowers do require the Latin phrases to pull off. This ranges from super strength, to control over the elements, to summoning things.

4.) All of these things that you do require some degree of focus, and naturally some things, usually more powerful things, are harder to do than others. More powerful attacks require more focus to pull off and on the summoning end, the more complex the thing is you are trying to summon, the harder it is to do. Keeping things simple is probably best unless the situation really calls for it.

5.) There is a limit to how much you can do all of this, and it does put a mental strain on your body. That feeling in the back of your head whenever you do these things is basically telling you how much you are focusing on the task at hand, and some things, like creating a living creature, are just too much for a human. Also excessive use of this (though to what degree you aren't sure aside from creating something living) power will cause headaches.

6.) Certain things and abilities are easier to do and even require less focus depending on what characters you are channeling at the moment. Try out different combinations to see what you can do with them.

7.) The more Latin words that you say (and yes, you do have to speak the words out loud) when you're performing an attack or ability will make it more powerful and require less focus, but logically, in battle this will leave you open and vulnerable, as you do need to finish the phrase you are speaking before you can actually use the attack.

8.) You can heal yourself, but focus wise, it seems to be much more trouble than it's worth. You're not really sure why this is.

9.) Real weapons may be preferable to the ones that you can summon for the fact that they require less focus to use depending on what you are doing. Also weapons you create do require some focus to maintain as well as use. Obvious reasons are obvious.

10.) You can play the song of storms.

...

...

...

And that's it really. As far as you know. That's what you've learned so far.

Still... you wanna just unleash your inner pyro and burn everything, but your logical mind is telling you...........

"Ah screw it," you say to yourself as you stand back up.

-Continued in Part 2-

Author's Note

Status: Edited

Messing Around (Part 2)

-Meanwhile, in Ponyville-

-In the house that Roseluck shares with Lily and Daisy-

Meanwhile in the House Roseluck shares with Lily and Daisy at their Dining Room Table:

DaedaltheusXIV: It was at that point that I raised the sniper rifle up, leveled the scope, and took the shot.

Lily: Oh my Celestia...

DXIV: And that's how I started the Second Pan-Dimensional War.

Daisy: How did that turn out?

DXIV: Considering one universe is being consumed as I speak by star-creatures and the other does not exist, not well for either.

*Suddenly the door bursts open to reveal Roseluck standing in the doorway, a little singed and with speckles of blood dotting her face*

Roseluck: YOU SON OF A BITCH! *runs over and slaps DXIV* I WAS ALMOST F***ING CAUGHT BY THOSE STARFLEETS A**HOLES AFTER YOU LEFT ME ALONE JUST SO THAT YOU COULD HAVE SOME LUNCH!

DXIV: *rubbing his face* Clearly you escaped. Did you kill them?

Roseluck: Of course I did. How in the name of Luna's plot do you think I got out.

DXIV: How many?

Roseluck: I don't know. I lost count after twenty-six.

DXIV: Did you kill the Captain?

Roseluck: No. He wasn't amongst them but now they'll know it was me, won't they?

DXIV: Why do you say that?

Roseluck: Well, I left a trail of bodies leading to the exit.

DXIV: Were they all wearing Red-Shirts.

Roseluck: What?

DXIV: Red Uniforms.

Roseluck: Yes.

DXIV: You're fine, if they wear red, they're good as dead. Starfleet is known for the low life-expectancy of its red-shirts. I think that it was some kind of anti-communist message on the behalf of the creator's part but perhaps I'm just thinking to hard about it.

Roseluck: Normally, I would ask another question but I really don't care. Lily, can I have a sandwich.

Lily: Already made one for ya.

Roseluck: Thanks. *takes the sandwich and sits down at the table*

DXIV: You did good. *pats her on the head*

Roseluck: Thanks.

Daisy: So, I was at the market today and guess who showed up clear out of the blue.

Lily: Prince Blueblood?

Roseluck: Princess Cadence?

DXIV: God?

Daisy: That new senator from Canterlot, Risen Flagg!

Roseluck: *almost chokes on sandwich*

DXIV: *smiles before slamming his fist on the table* ABOUT F***ING TIME! After all of these months of nudging he finally makes a...

*Roseluck suddenly pulled DXIV aside, just out of earshot of Lily and Daisy*

Roseluck: I know that I've explained you to them and told them about some of you exploits, but I never told them about our involvement with HIM.

DXIV: Ah, good point.

Daisy: Something the matter?

DXIV: No, no, just, um got a little excited as I have been meaning to speak with the senator.

Daisy: Oh, I am sure that he would love to meet you.

DXIV: No thanks *pulls out his pocket watch and checks it* I really must be going. Diagrams to create, plans to draft out, and sections to generate, you know. Life never ceases for an architect.

Lily: Okay, well don't stay a stranger.

DXIV: I won't *he snaps his fingers and the door frame at the entrance becomes crimson red filled with black void* Oh and Roseluck.

Roseluck: Yeah?

DXIV: Come by in two days time, in the evening. I am going to be breaking out the old Sutter Cane type writer and doing some writing exercises. I need you to help me in filing some old work that's been lying around as well as some of the reports that I will be typing up.

Roseluck: *perks up* Okie dokie!

DXIV vanishes through the portal and the door frame promptly returns to normal.

"It was at that point that I raised my sniper rifle up, leveled the scope, and took the shot." DaedaltheusXIV said to Lily and Daisy as he made the motions of holding and firing a sniper rifle with his hands. An empty sandwich plate sat on the table in front of him.

"Oh my Celestia," Lily replied, not really sure what she was hearing.

"And that was how I started the second pan-dimensional war," Daedaltheus then said as he took up his water glass and took another drink.

"And how did that turn out?" Daisy asked, not entirely sure how she was supposed to be feeling about all of this.

"Well..." Daedaltheus began as he put his water glass down. "Considering that one universe is being consumed as I speak by star-creatures and the other does not exist, not well for either."

It was at that point that the front door suddenly burst open. They all turned to see Roseluck standing in the doorway. Both her coat and mane were a little singed, and little speckles of blood were dotting her face. That, and she looked, for lack of a better phrase to describe it. ABSOLUTELY LIVID!

"Oh, hey Ro-" Daisy began to say before Roseluck cut her off.

"YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!!!" She screamed as she quite literally ran towards DaedaltheusXIV and slapped him across the face. Hard.... In fact she punched him. "I WAS ALMOST F***ING CAUGHT BY THOSE STARFLEET A**HOLES AFTER YOU LEFT ME ALONE JUST SO THAT YOU COULD HAVE SOME LUNCH!!!!!!!!"

"Well clearly you escaped," Daedaltheus replied, rubbing his face. "Did you kill any of them?"

"Of course I did!" Roseluck screamed back at him. "How in the name of Luna's plot do you think I got out!?"

"How many?" Daedaltheus asked... not at all intimidated by her screaming.

"I don't know," Roseluck replied. "I lost count after twenty-six."

"Did you kill the captain?"

"No," Roseluck replied. "He wasn't there, but now they'll know it was me, won't they?"

"Why do you say that?"

"I don't know, I only left a trail of bodies leading towards the exit WHAT THE F*** DO YOU THINK!!!????"

"Were they all wearing red shirts?"

"What?"

"The people you killed," Daedaltheus said to her. "Were they all wearing red uniforms?"

"Um..... yes," Roseluck replied.

"Then you're fine," Daedaltheus replied as he leaned back in his chair. "If they wear red, then they're as good as dead. Starfleet is known for the low life-expectancy of its red-shirts. I think that it was some kind of anti-communist message on the behalf of the creator's part, but perhaps I'm just thinking to hard about it." And at that, Roseluck looked like her brain had blown a fuse.

"Normally," she began as she let out a loud sigh. "I would ask another question, but I really don't care. Lily, can I have a sandwich?"

"Already made one for ya," Lily replied as she walked back to the table with another sandwich for Roseluck, having left to go and get it while she and Daedaltheus were talking.

"Thanks," Roseluck replied as she took a seat and bit into her sandwich.

"You did good," Daedaltheus said to her as he pat her on the head, a gesture which made Roseluck smile a bit.

"Thanks," Roseluck replied after she finished her first bite.

"So," Daisy began, now that that conversation was out of the way. "I was in the market yesterday, and guess who showed up clear out of the blue."

"Prince Blueblood?" Lily said, sounding a bit more hopeful that it was him than either Roseluck or Daedaltheus would have liked for her to be.

"Princess Cadence?" Roseluck asked before she took another bite of her sandwich.

"God?" Daedaltheus asked.

"That new senator from Canterlot, Risen Flag." At that, Roseluck nearly chocked on her sandwich while a smile as wide as any Pinkie Pie would envy formed on his face.

"About f***ing time!" Daedaltheus said as he slammed his fist into the table. "After all these months of nudging he finally makes a-" He was cut short by Roseluck as she grabbed him by his hair and pulled him away from the table, just out of earshot of Lily and Daisy, and dragged him down so that his face was level with hers.

"Roseluck what th-" Daedaltheus began to say before Roseluck cut him off.

"Look," Roseluck began. "I know that I've explained you to them and told them about some of you exploits, but I never told them about our involvement with HIM."

"Ah, good point," Daedaltheus said as Roseluck pulled her hoof away from him. "Sorry."

"Something the matter?" Daisy asked, seemingly worried.

"No," Daedaltheus responded as he and Roseluck stood back up. "No not at all, just um... got a little exited is all, as I've been meaning to speak with the senator."

"Oh," Daisy said. "Well I'm sure he'd love to meet you."

"Thanks, but unfortunately, I don't really believe I have time today," Daedaltheus said to her as he took out his pocket watch and checked it. I really must be going. Diagrams to create, plans to draft out, and sections to generate, you know. Life never ceases for an architect."

"Oh, okay," Daisy said, sounding a little disappointed.

"Don't stay a stranger!" Lily shouted at the him from the kitchen table.

"I won't," Daedaltheus said, and at that, at the snap of his fingers, the doorframe which was the front door to their house became a crimson red doorframe filled with a black void. "Oh, and Roseluck," he said just before he made any motion to leave.

"Yes," Roseluck responded to him.

"Come by in two days time, in the evening." Daedaltheus said to her. "I'm going to be breaking out the old Sutter Cane typewriter and doing some writing exercises. I need you to help me in filing some old work that's been lying around as well as some of the reports that I will be typing up." At that, Roseluck's mood suddenly perked up again.

"Okay... sure," she replied. "Okie dokie."

And at that, Daedaltheus left through the red doorframe back to where ever whence he came, and as the door closed behind him, the front door to their house returned to normal.

-Just outside-

Rainbow Dash had just landed on a cloud and laid down for her nap, as she was want to do at this time or day... or, any time of day really. Really, the time of day when she did nap didn't matter to her, but just the fact that she was napping was enough for her. And she certainly WAS NOT fantasizing about Applejack's nicely toned flanks, that sweet accent of her's, her hair, or about what possibly lay beneath her tail and how much she just wanted to bury her face in it. Nope... none of that.... just a normal nap, with normal dreams.

"You know, you should really be more honest with yourself about that," the ghost of Daring Do told her, but she ignored it, cause she wasn't there. Nope... there was no ghost of Daring Do. She was a fictional character, she wasn't real, nope... not at all. And Rainbow Dash certainly was not thinking about how much she wanted to lick those apples on Applejack's cutie mark to see if they tasted like real apples.... Nope... not at all.

Then, suddenly, out of nowhere, a drop of water landed right on her nose. Immediately, she opened her eyes and looked up at the sky, it was as clear as day, as the weather schedule said it would be. She would know, she made it that way.

Then, suddenly, with no explanation at all, it started raining. Some clouds just appeared out of nowhere and it just started raining.

"The buck?" Rainbow Dash said as she sat back up in her cloud and fluffed out of wings a little bit as she prepared to take to the sky again to deal with this. The moment she took off from her cloud though, the rain stopped. It stopped and the sky was as clear as it should have been again.

"The buck?" Rainbow Dash said out of her confused as all hell mind.

"Hey, Rainbow Dash!" She suddenly heard Spike's voice call up from the ground. She turned around in mid air to see that he was standing right below her. She flew back down to the ground to see what he wanted.

"Oh, hey Spike!" Rainbow Dash said as she got close enough to him to talk. "What's up?"

"What was up with the weather just now?" Spike asked, seeming just as confused as Rainbow Dash about it. "Was it supposed to rain today?"

"I don't think so..." Rainbow Dash said as she put a hoof to her chin. "I'm pretty sure that...." She began before she went into deep thought about it and went silent. "Nope, that wasn't supposed to happen." She said after a moment of being lost in deep though. "It's supposed to be sunny all week. We don't have any rain scheduled until two weeks from now."

"Okay..." Spike said.

"Somepony's gonna pay for this," Rainbow Dash said as she looked back up towards the sky, sounding a little frustrated.

"Anyway," Spike said. "Jason wanted me to tell you that he wants everypony to meet at the library around three."

"What do you mean everypony?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Everypony," Spike said as calm as could possibly be.

"Oh," Rainbow Dash said as she understood instantly. Of course he only meant her, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and Applejack... dear sweet delicious Apple, wait, no, none of that. "Okay, what time is it now?" Rainbow Dash then asked him.

"Um..." Spike replied as he looked at his wrist, only to see that he wasn't wearing a watch. "About 1:30 I think." At that, Rainbow Dash looked up towards the sun. After a moment of gaging the time, she saw that he was indeed right.

"All right, I'll see you then," Rainbow Dash said to Spike as she took back off into the sky, hoping to find whomever was responsible for the sudden, unscheduled rain just now.

-Not too far away-

"I am SO SORRY about this Mr. Flagg," The Sarah Palin pony said to Risen Flagg. "The weather schedule didn't say it was supposed to rain today."

"Oh it's quite all right," Risen Flagg said to her in the same, smooth, calming voice he always had as he dropped the magical barrier that he had put up around himself, the Sarah Palin Pony, his assistant Trixie, and his butler Joseph Curwen right as the rain stopped. "A similar thing happened to me in Canterlot only a few days ago. Only.... it was with bowling balls."

"What?" The Sarah Palin pony asked, confused.

"Oh nothing," Risen Flagg replied. "Shall we continue?"

"Oh... oh, um, yes..." the Sarah Palin pony replied, her face getting a little flushed as he spoke to her. Just as the four of them turned a corner around a building back into town square, a pink, bubbly, party pony that was named Pinkie Pie suddenly stopped in front of them. Her eyes were as wide as dinner plates when she saw the senator and his two associates. The three of them were just confused.

"Oh, hello Pinki-" The Sarah Palin pony tired to say before she was cut off by Pinkie Pie jumping up into the air, gasping for exactly 2.6 seconds, and then landing back on the ground exactly where she stood.

"MORE NEW PONIES!!!!" Pinkie Pie suddenly exclaimed like she just won the lottery. Before the Sarah Palin Pony, Risen Flagg, or even Trixie could say anything to her, Pinkie Pie quickly reached behind her, produced three pink envelopes that matched her mane, and handed each one to the four ponies in front of her. "Sorrycan'ttalkrightnow," Pinkie Pie said to them as she handed the four envelopes to them. "poniestodothingstoseepartytogetreadyforhopetoseeyouthereBYE!" And with that, she was suddenly off as quickly as she had come. Risen Flagg, Trixie, and Curwen, all had the most unreadable expressions on their faces as they could not for the life of them comprehend what just happened.

"Who..." Trixie began to ask. "Who was that?"

"Oh, that was just Pinkie Pie," the Sarah Palin Pony replied, having been the first to calm her nerves, since she was used to this. "Ponyville's resident party pony. Looks like she's hosting another party tonight," she said as she looked at the envelope in her hoof before putting it in her jacket pocket. "You all should come. It would really be a great way for you to meet everypony."

"That sounds.... nice," Trixie said as she handed her invitation over to Curwen.

"Yes, yes it does," Risen Flagg said as she handed his over to Curwen as well, who just took the three of them and put them all in his coat pocket too. "Shall we?" Risen Flagg then said as he turned his attention back to the Sarah Palin pony.

"Oh, yes," the Sarah Palin pony said as she lead the three of them through the town square and over to the familiar looking gingerbread house that was Sugercube Corner. "And this," she began as soon as she reached it. "Is Sugarcube Corner, the best pastry shop, if I do say so myself, this side of Equestria."

"Ah, the famous Sugarcube Corner," Risen Flagg stated as he took another step forward towards the gingerbread house. "I have heard many a tales about this fine establishment, but I've never had to chance to try any of it's delicacies for myself. Politics in Canterlot leaves no rest for the wicked." Trixie and Curwen both remained silent.

"I see," the Sarah Palin pony replied. "Well, why don't we step on in and see what they have today."

"That sounds like a delightful idea," Risen Flagg said as he turned his attention back towards the Sarah Palin pony. "After you."

"Thank you," the Sarah Palin pony replied as she took a few steps towards the door as Risen Flagg and his two associates followed suit. Before any of them could enter though, they were stopped by another pony exiting Sugarcube Corner with a brown paper bag in her teeth. A grey pegasus mare with blonde hair whose eyes seemed to be looking in two different directions.

"Ah, good afternoon Derpy," the Sarah Palin pony said to her.

"Mmm mmmmm," Derpy replied to her before she took off to the sky to get out of the way. Once she was gone, the Sarah Palin pony continued onwards towards the door, expecting Risen Flagg and his two associates to follow her. When she opened the door however and looked back at them, she was surprised to see that they hadn't followed her.

They were exactly where they stood before, and both Flagg and Trixie were looking up towards the sky in the direction Derpy flew off. The looks on their faces was what could only be described as shock, like they had just seen the last pony they had expected to see in this town exit the shop. Curwen, for the most part, had the same expression he always did.

"Um...." The Sarah Palin pony began, but before she could say anything, their attention seemed to snap back to her by themselves.

"Oh, my apologies," Risen Flagg said to her. "I was lost in my own little world there for a moment."

"It's all right," the Sarah Palin pony replied to him. "It happens to me sometimes too."

Then at that, the four of them entered Sugarcube Corner.

-About and hour and a half or so later in the Ponyville Library-

So, after practicing with your powers for about an hour and a half longer, during which time you found that you cannot channel pokemon (unfortunately) and that you may or may not be close to the peak of human physical condition (not at the peak of human physical condition, but close) thanks to your new powers, you return to the library at three o clock, just like you said you would.

As you walk on through the front door, you find Spike, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Rarity, and Fluttershy all sitting around (well, Rainbow Dash is floating by semantics) waiting for you. They all fall silent and turn to look at you the moment you enter, and you're not really that surprised by the looks they're giving you. Despite your best efforts (and by this you mean without using your latin powers, since you seem kind of burned out on those. Your focus is not infinite it seemed), you still look and smell a little bit charred.

"Where were you?" Spike asks.

-About an hour and a half or so earlier-

"OH SH*T! OH SH*T! OH SH*T!!!!" You shout as literally EVERYTHING IS ON FIRE!!!!!! "Extingue ignem! Exitngue ignem!" You shout in an attempt to put out the fire, which to your surprise, works a lot faster than just relinquishing the power. The damage was still done, however.

-Back to the present-

"It's a long story," you reply as you walk over to the table at the center of the room and sit down. "Where's Pinkie Pie?" you ask. You did kind of want everyone.... everypony, here, and that included her.

"She..." Rarity began. "She said she had to do some things to prepare for a party tonight, so she wouldn't be able to make it."

"But um..." Fluttershy began as she put both a pink envelope and a folded up piece of paper on the table and slid them over towards you. "She did tell us to give these to you."

You take the two things from Fluttershy and unfold the piece of paper. On it was a note, written in what you are going to call "very Pinkie Pie" like letters that reads:

"Dear Jason,

Sorry I can't make it to the meeting, but I know about as much as everypony else right now, so I don't think I'll be able to help you anymore than any of my friends would. I'll get caught up with you all later, don't worry. Oh, and I hope to see you at your party later tonight. Please come.

With love and prapes,

Pinkie Pie."

You cast a slightly glaring eye at Ghost Pinkie Pie, who read all of that for you. She only gives you a wink in return as you let out a sigh and put the envelope which you know is a party invitation in your pocket. Yeah, you'll show up to that later, but now is not the time to think about that.

"So um," Applejack says after you're done reading that. "What do you want as all here for?" She asks.

And what indeed. There was a reason you wanted them all here. Well, two actually. The first was so that you could apologize to them for scaring the ever loving crap out of them by showing them your fight with Haypennywise, and the second, and most important, was so that all of you could exchange information and be on the same page.

Something big is about to go down, you know it is, and it's time you all got caught up on things.

What do you say to all of these ponies, the elements of harmony, and one dragon.

What do you do?

-Side Story-

(Yes, you guys have a theme song now. Enjoy it.)

(Also, as of this chapter, all events in the side story are now taking place in the present. We're back on track.)

-The Bear Universe-

*meanwhile in the Bear universe*

R.A.: *currently sitting on a throne made out entirely of bear corpses* .....You know I'm getting a little bit bored again after wrecking all these bears... Razor can I go back to the other universe yet?

R.A.: *if after not getting a response* ... Oh look at that nice fourth wall over there it would be terribad if something horrible were to happen to it.

*Registered Anonymous is currently sitting on a throne made entirely out of bear corpses, as he had just killed every single bear that was in that colosseum, and some that weren't even in the colosseum, as the occasional bear would wander on in and try to kill him too, but he would be done with them with a single swing from his golf club. They weren't even a challenge. Basically, he was just bored right now.*

Registered Anonymous: You know... I'm getting a little bored again after wrecking all those bears.... Hey Razor, can I go back to-

*He didn't even get to finish his sentence before he disappeared from the bear throne Q style and was gone.*

-Ponyville-

-Sweet Apple Acres-

Braeburn: There's nothin' better of a mornin' than good ol' applebuckin'. Wouldn't you agree Big Mac?
Big Mac: Eeyup.
*Sweet Apple Acres Orchards, in the morning*
*Little Strongheart, Braeburn, and Big Macintosh lay down their heavy apple baskets.*
Little Strongheart: I'm still not sure how you could stand doing this with the weight of apples on your back. I'm more used to running freely around the land.
BB: Prob' goin' faster than a speeding locomotive no doubt. How do your folks do that anyway?
LS: It's a tribal secret. You know that as well as I do.
BB: And here Ah thought we're close enough for ya to tell me.
*AJ came up to them and set her own batch of apples down*
AJ: Well, Ah think we've got done most of our mornin' rounds. Ah think me and Big Mac can handle the rest. 'Sides, ain't y'all have a letter to deliver?
BB: Well, it is kinda important...
LS: I think we'd like to get it done soon. Wouldn't you agree, Braeburn?
BB: Welp, Ah guess we shouldn't try ta do a worse job than the mail service. We'll be back by lunchtime, AJ.
AJ: Alright. Take care of y'all selves.

*A few hours ago, just before noon in the fields*

Braeburn: There's nothin' better of a mornin' than good ol' applebuckin'. Wouldn't you agree Big Mac?

Big Mac: Eeyup.

*Little Strongheart, Braeburn, and Big Macintosh lay down their heavy apple baskets.*

Little Strongheart: I'm still not sure how you could stand doing this with the weight of apples on your back. I'm more used to running freely around the land.

BB: Prob' goin' faster than a speeding locomotive no doubt. How do your folks do that anyway?

LS: It's a tribal secret. You know that as well as I do.

BB: And here Ah thought we're close enough for ya to tell me.

*Applejack came up to them and set her own batch of apples down*

Applejack: Well, Ah think we've got done most of our mornin' rounds. Ah think me and Big Mac can handle the rest. 'Sides, ain't y'all have a letter to deliver?

BB: Well, it is kinda important...

LS: I think we'd like to get it done soon. Wouldn't you agree, Braeburn?

BB: Welp, Ah guess we shouldn't try ta do a worse job than the mail service. We'll be back by lunchtime, AJ.

AJ: Alright. Take care of y'all selves.

-Just outside the entrance to town-

*Kirk, Gordon Freebrony, Spock, McCoy, and Zecora all walk into town again. The time at this moment is 1:00 pm*

Kirk: Remind me again why we had to spend all of yesterday doing that?

McCoy: So the two of you wouldn't do anything stupid like try to kill each other again.

*Kirk just lets out an incredibly loud sigh as the four of them walk back into town again.*

-Appaloosa-

-The AIA headquarters-

*AIA HQ a few hours before the after noon*
*Yawn*
The Director of AIA woke up from his peaceful slumber. He cracked his neck and moaned in bliss.
GR: Ahh~ Woo... I must've slept on the wrong part of the neck. Now, what do I do when I wake up? Ah yes! Coffee and the newspaper.
*Apparently, simply missing three days worth of his daily routine almost made him forget. He quickly made his bed, and made his way to his office, which is just out his bedroom doorway. He lives where he works, and lives in his work. Nothing new here. After grabbing the daily newspaper that always come out of the slot on his office door and brewing a cup of coffee, he sat comfortably on his cushioned chair with both on hoof. There was a file on his desk, probably an update on what he missed yesterday.*

*Grey Rebl unfolded his newspaper as he sipped on his coffee with his free hoof. Suddenly, his eyes widened and he spat out his coffee. On the front page said:

Surprise visit to Ponyville from Risen Flagg!

*He wiped away a stray drip of hot coffee. Obviously, he's quite worried about the agents assigned there*

GR: Well, SON OF A–

(Happens as it is.)

-The Dalek Flagship, The Caesar-

-The Hallyways-

Me: … *turn into human form and starts dancing to the song* Oh, I LOVE this song! How did you know, Razor?

Razor: *speaking in a voice suspiciously like the SpongeBob narrator* I looked at your diary.

Me: YOU WHAT? AND IT'S A JOURNAL!

Registered Anonymous: *pulls a Pinkie Pie and pops up next to me* Can I see it?

Me: NO! Now, get back there and do… whatever it is you were doing…

RA: OKAY! *disappears in a flash of smoothie*

Me: … Not even going to ask about the smoothie… *turns back into rocket cheetah and dashes towards the hanger bay to find Slenderpony*

*Time suddenly freezes again as Swimming Dalek transforms into a female version of his human form and starts dancing.*

Swimming Dalek: OOH YEAH! I love this song! How did you know Razor?

*RazortheAwesome's avatar suddenly appears with Registered Anonymous next to him Q style.*

Razor: I read your diary.

*Shows him the diary he is holding, it is definitely Registered Anonymous'*

SD: YOU WHAT!!!???? AND IT'S A JOURNAL!!

Raz: Yeah, sure, keep telling yourself that.

RA: CAN I SEE!?!?

Raz: No.

*Suddenly Registered Anonymous disappears Q style again, leaving just RazortheAwesome's avatar and Swimming Dalek there as Razor opens up the diary to a random page and begins reading.*

Raz: So you spent quite a bit of time hiding on earth as a woman eh. That explains.... a lot, actually.

SD: GIVE THAT BACK!!!???

Raz: If I were you, I'd be more worried about the Daleks in the auxiliary generator room. I mean after all, you turned the power back on in order to lure Slenderpony away before he could get to the hackers right. Very noble of you I might add. So, don't you think that you might wanna get there as quickly as multiformly possible before he wrecks more sh*t than you can deal with or gets away?

SD: *silent for a few moments* Right.....

Raz: *Makes the diary disappear* There, I put it back under your mattress where it belongs... Now get going.

*Time suddenly unfreezes as the avatar of RazortheAwesome disappears, and Swimming Dalek has no memory of what just happened. He does however, turn into his rocket cheetah form and starts booking it towards the auxiliary generator room.*

-The Port Side hangar bay-

SIDE STORY TIME
BS: Look Steve, I never brought it up for the same reason Slim and Jimmy never realised they knew each other: we were pulled from whatever it was we were doing, randomly assigned numbers, and it was never relevant until now. What I'm really surprised at is how similar this tech is to the tech I was working on.
Steve: If you're going to waste air, can you at least enlighten us on why this is surprising.
BS: First off, we now have air and life support systems on this shuttle. Second, the tech is similar to a traditional enemy of the Daleks -no, Daleks, not Time Lord, the government would always get to it first. Third, I'll tell you all more once we get the Caesar back up and running, since it'll be a bit safer then. And Fourth, ummmm... hmmm, I need a fourth point... *at this point, the music starts playing* That'll do. FOURTH! What the hell is with the speaker system on this ship? Does it run on a separate, über-secure grid or something?

Side story:

BRP: This music is definitely not appropriate for our situation. Hugh, did you put it on?

Hugh: Well, I... I might have. Nana mentioned-

Nana: It's one of my favorite songs out of his selection.

BRP: Would you two mind? Can you keep your courtship a little less public?

Hugh and Nana: Courtship?

BRP: Do I really have to explain this?

Nana: what is-

BRP: Oh god! THIS IS NOT THE TIME! *opens his visor* someone explain courtship to these two. If SD doesn't show up soon, I'm going out there.

In the meantime, can we play this?

Side story:
Nana: Let's get back on track here, I'll learn about courtship later. Okay, we have the suits. Who's up for swimming in space?
Everyone:...
Nana: Anyone?
Everyone:...
Steve: Who the hell would travel in the vacuum of space?!
Hugh: Apparently these guys don't have space training.
Nana: Figures... Steve, BRP, both of you have the right-know how's to get us out of this new problem. I think you two know what to do.

*BRP, Bronze Statue, and all the other hackers, are still in the Dalek shuttle, we pick up exactly where we left off before.*

Bronze Statue: Look Steve, I never brought it up for the same reason Slim and Jimmy never realised they knew each other. We were pulled from whatever it was we were doing, randomly assigned numbers, and it was never relevant until now. What I'm really surprised at is how similar this tech is to the tech I was working on.

Steve: If you're going to waste air, can you at least enlighten us on why this is surprising.

BS: First off, we now have air and life support systems on this shuttle. Second, the tech is similar to a traditional enemy of the Daleks. No, not the Daleks, the Time Lords. The government would always get to it first. Third, I'll tell you all more once we get the Caesar back up and running, since it'll be a bit safer then. And Fourth, ummmm... hmmm, I need a fourth point... *at this point, the music starts playing* That'll do. FOURTH! What the hell is with the speaker system on this ship? Does it run on a separate, über-secure grid or something?

BRP: This music is definitely not appropriate for our situation. Hugh, did you put it on?

Hugh: Well, I... I might have. Nana mentioned-

Nana: It's one of my favorite songs out of Swimming Dalek's selection.

BRP: Oh for the love of.... Would you two mind? Can you keep your courtship a little less public?

Hugh and Nana: Courtship?

BRP: Do I really have to explain this?

Nana: what is-

BRP: Oh god! THIS IS NOT THE TIME! *opens his visor again* someone explain courtship to these two. If SD doesn't show up soon, I'm going out there.

*Suddenly, the two Dalek escorts outside contact them on the coms*

Dalek Escort 1: We have retrieved the suits from the Enterprise. Prepare to receive them.

Slim: What does he mean by-

BRP: Oh for the love of! EVERYONE HOLD ON TO SOMETHING!!!

Steve: *is still holding onto Bronze Statue, who grabs hold of a nearby railing.* What the f*ck does that mea-

*Suddenly the side door to the shuttle opens up, and suddenly the vacuum that is space threatens to suck all of the hackers and BRP out, but thankfully they are all fully secure, well, except for Steve, who is gripping onto Bronze Statue for dear life. While this is happening, the two Dalek escorts fly into the shuttle like nothing is happening and close the door behind them. All of the hackers take a few moments to take a deep breath and recover. Steve is still holding Bronze Statue.*

BS: You know... you could at least buy me a drink first.

Steve: Oh f*ck you. *he drops Bronze Statue to the ground.* What the f*ck was all that about!? Did you really HAVE to open the f*cking door in order to get us the suits!? Wasn't there ANY OTHER WAY!!!???"

Dalek Escort 1: No.

Steve: NO!!! WHAT DO YOU-..... You know what. I'm done. I've had it. I'm not gonna ask anymore questions or anything else cause this is all just so f*cking crazy that even I can't deal with it anymore. *slides down the wall and sits down* I could be playing Super Princess Peach right now, BUT NO! I have to be here on this crazy spaceship with a bunch of friggin psychopaths and-

Jim: You know, if you're going to waste the air, you can at least enlighten us on why all of this is surprising.

Steve: Oh f*ck you.

Nana: ENOUGH! Let's get back on track here, We can learn about courtship later. Okay, we have the suits. Now we only have two of them so who's up for swimming in space?

*The room is silent.*

Nana: Anyone?

*Still silent*

Steve: Who the hell would travel in the vacuum of space?!

Hugh: Apparently these guys don't have space training.

Nana: Figures... Anyway, BRP, Bronze Statue, both of you have the right-know how's to get us out of this new problem. I think you two know what to do.

BS: Right.

*Bronze Statue takes a suit and starts putting it on.*

BRP: I'm sorry wha-

Hugh: Look, you have the two of us and the most combat experience, also I know you have at least some degree of space training. Bronze Statue here, just got an ALIEN SHIP working again after it was completely disabled. You figure it out.

BRP: ..... I see your point.

Nana: Then get that suit on!

*BRP gets the other suit on as well. Between him and Bronze Statue, even with some help from the other hackers, it takes a few moments to get them both on. That, and they have to refuel the air supply like Chekov said. Eventually, when they have them both on.*

BS: Right... what now?

Hugh: Well, there's really only one way that we can get the two of you out into space.

Slim: And what's that?

*A sudden look of realization comes on all their faces as they realize what that means. They all take positions and grab something again. Steve, from where he is, just grabs the railing above him, he doesn't care anymore. The two Dalek escorts take positions and prepare to open the door.

BRP: *to BS* You ready?

BS: As ready as I'm gonna be.

BRP: All right then.

*They both take the ready position*

Nana: Okay.... 3

Hugh: 2....

Nana and Hugh: 1

*The two Dalek escorts open the door again as both BRP and Bronze Statue are sucked out into space. They close it again the moment the two of them are gone.*

Jim: That's all well and good and all... but what about us?

Dalek Escort 1: With this ship online, we should be able to fly it and dock with the Enterprise.

Jim: Wait...

Steve: Why oh why? ....

Jim: You mean that we could have piloted this ship ourselves the whole time. For chist sake man why didn't we-!

Hacker 8: Right, like you know how to pilot an alien ship.

Jim: *is about to say something, but then shuts up.* touche.

*The two Dalek escorts take their positions and start flying the shuttle towards the Enterprise.*

Slim: Wait, what's your name?

Hacker 8: Calvin... Calvin Kleiner. Why do you ask?

Slim: Well... if we're all gonna die in the vacuum of space or on an alien planet or ship.

Steve: Someone please-

Jim: Oh shut up Steve.

Slim: We should at least learn each other's names.

Hacker 4: Sounds fair.

Hacker 3: Yeah, I agree.

Jim: Right... I was hacker 2, and you *to Slim* were hacker... 3, I believe.

Slim: Right.

Jim: And you're Calvin.

Calvin (formerly hacker 8): Yep.

Jim: So what about the rest of you guys.

Hacker 4: You can call me Ramirez.

Hacker 9: Tommy.

Hacker 5: My name is Dave.

Slim: Nice to meet you Reginald.

Reginald: Did you not hear me? I said my name is Da-

Hacker 6: Well, my hacking name is Doc Doctor, but you can just call me Doc.

Hacker 5: I am simply known as... The Janitor....

Slim: Right...

Jim: And that makes Bronze Statue hacker 7...

(I'm calling it here, there are 9 hackers)

Steve: Can we just get to the ship?

Dalek Escort 2: Yes.

*Steve just lets out a loud sigh as the two Dalek escorts pilot the ship to the Enterprise.

-Outside-

*BRP and Bronze Statue fly out away from the shuttle until the two of them steady themselves again and make their way back towards the ground.*

BS: So... where are we going?

BRP: To the auxiliary generator room.

BS: What?

BRP: You know alien technology right?

BS: Yes.

BRP: And you were able to get that shuttle working right?

BS: Yep.

BRP: Then you should be able to get this ship working too right?

BS: Yeah, but I'll need direct access to the aux-

BRP: And that's why were going there?

BS: Okay... and what about that Slenderpony... thing?

BRP: That's why I'm here. I got this.

BS: Okay... Can I ask just one more question though?

BRP: Sure?

BS: Can we at least have some epic music if we're going there? I mean after-

BRP: Right. Hugh?

Hugh: On it.

*Suddenly, this song starts playing in their headsets.*

BRP: Good enough for you?

BS: OH HELL THE F*CK YES!!!!

BRP: Well, lets go then. Lead the way Nana.

Nana: On it!

*They both head back through the door they came in back into the hallways of the Caesar as they make their way back towards the auxiliary generator room.*

-The Enterprise-

-The Warp Core-

*Ship start-up noises-
Scotty: Thar she is! Warp drive is back on line. *pulls out communicator* Chekov, I *interrupted by the song*
What the devil is that? *song ends* Chekov, Communications check!
Chekov: Aye, sir. I hear you.
Scotty: Good. Send a message to the bridge. Get us to red alert. Meet me there when you are done.
Chekov: Aye, sir.

Scotty: Please god. Let this work. We've tried everything else.

*Suddenly, Scotty shoots a massive blast of EMP through the ship, which knocks out everything again. After a few moments, the warp core starts to whir to life as the lights come back on.*

S: SHE LIVES!!!!!!! Thar she is! The warp drive is back online. *Pulls out his communicator.* Chekov! *suddenly is interrupted by the song. What the devil is that? Chekov, communications check!

Chekov: Aye, sir. I hear you.

S: Good. Send a message to the bridge. Get us to red alert. Meet me there when you're done.

C: Aye sir!

-The Bridge-

*They get to the bridge*
*the following are more random bridge crew whom I won't name*
"Scanners are back online"
"Weapons are functioning normally."
"Photon torpedo bays check out."
"Containment fields nominal"
"diagnostics rings true."

Scotty: Get me a line to the captain. I want to inform him of what has happened.

Uhura: Aye, sir.

Scotty: Captain, this is the Enterprise. Please respond. *static* Repeat. Enterprise to Kirk. Come in Captain. *static*

Unnamed crewman#1: Sir, scans show an anomly surrounding the area the captain is currently located. None of our systems seem to be able to pierce it. It's like someone put a buzzer shield up (A/N Buzzer shield is a concept I came up with a while ago wherein it is a combination of a blocker/interference zone to disable radar/sonar, and a protective field. Sort of a cloaking shield that also blocks communications as a downfall for use)

Scotty: This is nae good. Is it a true buzzer?

UC#1: No, sir. Scans show fauna traveling through the barrier with no problem.

Scotty: Alright, I have an idea. You, get to engineering and have them empty a photon torpedo casing of all but propulsion and guidance. And tell them to bring all of Gordon's equipment and four phaser rifles to the same area. I'll be down in a minute. I need to call some people.

UC#2: Aye, sir.

Scotty: Get me a line to SwimmingDalek, the Hackers and Grey Rebl. We've been out of communication for too long. I think it's time the Enterprise flew on her own again, too.

*Scotty, Chekov, and the others finally get there.*

Bridge Crew 1: Scanners are back online.

Bridge Crew 2: Weapons are functioning normally.

Bridge Crew 3: Photon torpedo bays check out.

Bridge Crew 4: Containment fields nominal.

Bridge Crew 5: Diagnostics rings true.

Scotty: Get me a line to the captain. I want to inform him of what has happened.

Uhura: Aye, sir.

Scotty: Captain, this is the Enterprise. Please respond. *static* Repeat. Enterprise to Kirk. Come in Captain. *static*

Unnamed crewman #1: Sir, scans show an anomaly surrounding the area the captain is currently located. None of our systems seem to be able to pierce it. It's like someone put a buzzer shield up.

Scotty: This is nae good. Is it a true buzzer?

UC#1: No, sir. Scans show fauna traveling through the barrier with no problem.

Scotty: Alright, I have an idea. You, get to engineering and have them empty a photon torpedo casing of all but propulsion and guidance. And tell them to bring all of Gordon's equipment and four phaser rifles to the same area. I'll be down in a minute. I need to call some people.

UC#2: Aye, sir.

Scotty: Get me a line to Swimming Dalek, the Hackers and Grey Rebl. We've been out of communication for too long. I think it's time the Enterprise flew on her own again, too.

*Suddenly, from Scotty's communicator.*

Random Ensign: Sir. A Dalek shuttle has just docked with us in the hangar bay. We're- Wait.... Sir, it's the hackers.

Scotty: What! What in the blazes are they doing here? Get them up here as fast as you physically can. I'll be there in a minute.

Random Ensign: Aye sir.

-The Shuttle Bay-

*The hackers and the two Dalek escorts step out into the shuttle bay of the Enterprise.*

Steve: OH THANK GOD YOU GOT THE SHIP WORKING AGAIN!!! FINALLY I CAN BREATHE!!!!

Ramirez: You know you could breathe in the shuttle right.

Steve: Shut up! I am trying to savor.... the moment.

Jim: Dude, just let him go man. He's obviously-

*Registered Anonymous out of f*cking nowhere!*

RA: Hey guy's what's going on!?

*All the hackers look to him*

Jim: About friggin time you woke up RA.

Slim: Yeah it was a bitch carrying you the whole way.

RA: Yeah, I know.... Anyway, Hacker 8, can you-

Calvin: Actually, my name's Calvin.

RA: What? ... ... ....

Jim: Yeah, we kind of all agreed on the shuttle ride over here while you were out. We're kind of tired of just being random numbers. We're gonna start calling each other by our own names now.

RA: ... ... ... *Starts looking like he is going to have a seizure.*

Random Ensign: Sirs!

*All of the hackers look over to see a squad of Starfleet officers walking towards them.*

Random Ensign: You're the hackers from the ship, aren't you?

Jim: *Having taken up leadership of the group since BS is not here and Steve has kind of lost it, also RA is still doing what he was doing before, which is looking like he's about to have a seizure.* Yeah, that's us.

-The Dalek Flagship, The Caesar-

-The Auxiliary Generator room-

*A bunch of engineer Daleks are working on the auxiliary generators as the song keeps playing in the background.*

Dalek Engineer 1: Why are the speakers coming on first? Why is that song playing?

Dalek Engineer 2: I don't know, maybe-

*They all fall silent as Slenderpony appears in the room. Suddenly behind him, the generator seems to malfunction again as all the power and lights go out again. The ship is dark once again.*

All Daleks: EXTERMINATE!!!

*They all start shooting at Slenderpony, but all their blasts hit nothing, as he is gone the moment they fire. Almost instantaneously, Slenderpony appears behind one of the Dalek Engineers and sicks a tentacle right through it's Dalek armor, hitting the Dalek on the inside and stabbing right through it. The other Daleks start shooting again, but again he disappears, and when he reappears, he takes out another one by grabbing it with two tentacles and ripping it in half, and then another one by punching it clean through it's armor, and then another one by drawing all of the other's fire towards it, and then another one by tearing it's top off with two tentacles, then punching down through it. After a few moments Slenderpony has killed all but one of the Dalek Engineers.

As Slenderpony, in true Slender fashion, starts walking slowly towards the last Dalek, who is backing away from it, suddenly, out of nowhere, Swimming Dalek runs into the room in his rocket cheetah form, leaps into the air, and tackles Slenderpony to the ground. The two of them roll on the ground for a moment before Slenderpony grabs Swimming Dalek with a tentacle, rips him off of him, and throws him away. Swimming Dalek, in true cat fashion, lands on his feet and skids a few feet as Slenderpony instantaneously stands back up. The one remaining Dalek leaves as Swimming Dalek transforms back into his true multiform.... form, as he and Slenderpony stare down each other for a few moments.*

Swimming Dalek: I guess it was a waste of time trying to lure you away from here.

Slenderpony: .......

SD: Why are you even doing this? You slenders live on fear. If the race you draw fear from dies, then so do you. So why are you helping that monster calling himself Risen Flagg?

Slenderpony: ......

SD: Not gonna tell me. That's fine, I guess. I don't really need to know. *Gets into battle ready mode* Nobody, and I mean nobody, no matter what race they are, f***s with my ship.

Slenderpony: ....

Next Chapter (and all side story plots will be put on hold until this concludes):

P͡on͝y ̴K̨om̵b̴aţ/B̶oss Bat͝tl͝e̶:̛ ͝S͝wim҉m̶in͠g͞ D̡a̕l̢e̡k vs ̨Ślend̛e̶r͞p̧ón̕y

So yeah.... I think you all know what to do. Those of you that aren't in the side story. Feel free to comment on this as well. Swimming Dalek, since this is your fight, like with Gordon Freebrony and Registered Anonymous, your input will be vastly appreciated as far as which comments you would like me to use versus which ones you would prefer I don't use. This is your character, so you have the final say in everything. Also don't forget to comment on the fight yourself. I would like to know how YOU think this should go, since again, this is your character.

To all of you though. Don't forget to comment on the main story before you comment on this. That is still going on.

Oh, and to BRP and Bronze Statue. You cannot enter this fight. Not yet at least. This is Swimming Dalek's time to shine right now. Your time will come later. Don't you worry.

Author's Note

status: unedited

There is Only One Page (Part 1: Main Story)

There is Only One Page (Part 1: Main Story)

Authors note: Originally I was going to have both the main and side stories in the same chapter like I usually do, but after I saw how long this chapter was getting and the fact that this was taking a while. I decided to split them up, cause I figured you all deserved something. So yeah... The story will continue after the second half of this chapter is released, but you can still leave your suggestions at the end of this chapter for the main story if you want. Any suggestions for the side story are going to have to wait until the second half of this chapter is released. Sorry, but that is the way it has to be right now. Sorry.

Jason, don't tell them that you've spent the entire afternoon ~~abusing~~ experimenting with your powers until you have apologized for traumatizing them all.

Jason, I recommend that, first, you try to calm the girls down. Anyone would be freaked out of their minds by what you showed them. Sure, these girls seem to be able to hold their own, but that doesn't mean they're fine after seeing a manticore get it head ripped apart, and you nearly get the same treatment. Calm them down. Especially Fluttershy. It's pretty clear that she doesn't have much mental fortitude, so that probably hit her harder than the others.

Apologize and explain, you ever lovin' ass of a man! I forgot that ya ain't said sorry yet! Ghost Pinkie, b:yay:h slap 'im!

Before you start, you take in a deep breath and let it out. This is not going to be easy for any of you (you especially), and you know that, but it has to get done. Might as well get it over with now, but first thing is first.

"Okay, before anything else," you begin as you get yourself straightened out. You're still kind of not used to sitting on the floor like the rest of them are.... Okay, Rarity has a pillow, but still. You would prefer it if you had a chair. That is beside the point. "I want to say that I'm sorry."

"What for, darling?" Rarity asks you. Normally you would feel a bit uneasy at her calling you 'darling' given your history with her, but at this point, you've moved past that. Petty affairs of the past aren't gonna get in the way of things now. Plus, you've seen her call other ponies that, so you're not going to hold it against her.

"For scaring you all half to death by showing you my fight with Haypennywise," you say to them. One way or another, you had to say this to them.

"H..... Haypennywise?" Fluttershy asks, seeming a little bit nervous. Well, even more nervous than usual.

"That demonic clown pony I fought in the forest," you explain to them. "That's it's name."

"How... how do you know that?" Fluttershy asks. Just as you are about to answer though, the entire world suddenly freezes as if somebody PUT A PAUSE ON THAT PAW BUSTER!

And suddenly, that's when the avatar of Razortheawesome shows up again with a sudden flash of light, better known as Q style.

Yeah um, that's my fault actually. The avatar of Razortheawesome then begins to explain in his usual bold text format. You see, a lot of you seem to forget, though this is an easy mistake to make so I'm not really blaming you, that just because YOU know Haypennywise's name does not necessarily mean that Jason here does. In fact, never once did Haypennywise ever tell Jason his name or lead him to believe that was his name at all. Hell, the closest thing that Jason would have as far as a name for it would be Pennywise since the creature in question bears quite a few similarities to Pennywise the Clown, which is kind of fitting since this character IS a ponified version of Pennywise the Clown, but I digress. You see, just because you know the name of the monstrosity that tried to maul Jason within an inch of his life does not mean that he does. I'm giving you this one for free, but try to keep that in mind next time, otherwise it just makes slightly more work for me here. So yeah, just giving you all a friendly reminder here.

And then at that, with his explanation done, he turns around to leave, but right as he does however, he turns back around, since he forgot something.

Oh, and uh, sorry for the long wait everyone. We were busy.... Really busy....

And then, just as he came, the avatar of RazortheAwesome disappears Q style and the story is allowed to resume.

"I... I don't know," is all you can reply to that. "I just do." And it's true, you really don't know how you know that that monstrosity that attacked you was named Haypennywise. If anything it bears a resemblance to Pennywise from the movie IT, but this one was a pony so... yeah. Now if some kind of avatar of the entity that was in charge of all this bullsh*t would show up and explain just how exactly you know that information, then everything would make sense.

Already took care of that.

The f*ck was that? Meh, it's probably not important anyway.

What is important though is that you get on with your apology.

"Look, it doesn't matter," you say to them as you shake your head clear of all those weird thoughts for a moment. Seriously, where did those come from? "What I'm trying to say right now is that I know that it definitely was not the easiest thing for all of you to see." That's a bit of an understatement coming from you, the one who had to experience it, but this is about them, not you. "And I know that I showed it to you in a way that probably made you feel a bit uneasy, but... I... I just knew that none of you would have believed me unless you saw what happened to me, and... Well... It was the only way I knew how." At this point, you draw your eyes back up to all of them. "So for what it's worth. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for traumatizing you all like that." As you say that, you drop your head down and look at your hands. What were you thinking showing them that? You might not have know much about these ponies or what's normal here in this world, but you can still tell that what you did was beyond even them. Perhaps it would have been better if you just told them what happened and let them think what they want, that way-

"It's all right," you suddenly hear Applejack say after several moments of awkward silence. The moment her words hit your ears, pick your head up and divert your eyes and attention to her. "You did what yah had to." she says to you as she drags her right forehoof back and forth across the floor. Her eyes are more on the floor than they are on you for the moment, but after a few moments of dragging her hoof she looks back up at you. "And yer probably right. We probably wouldn't 'ave believed yah. Heck, Ah'm the element of honesty and even Ah would have called yah a liar." And she brings that up again. Seriously, whatever these "elements of harmony" are, they must be pretty important to them. Also, it makes no sense, are the elements themselves physical objects, are THESE PONIES the elements of harmony? Gah, why are you even thinking about it, it's not like it's gonna matter.

Also I would like to remind everybody that this WHOLE STORY takes place before the last episode of season 3. Hence why Twilight doesn't have her wings.

There it was again.... Gah, whatever it is it's probably not important.

"Ah mean, yeah, ya'll scared us," Applejack continues. "But what were ya'll supposed to do? Not tell us that you almost got made a chew toy out of by some...." She pauses for a moment after that and puts a hoof to her chin. "Thing." Yeah, she probably couldn't come up with any better words. "And like Ah said. You were probably right, just tellin us might not 'ave been enough."

"Yeah," Spike chimes in. "I mean if I had the ability to project my thoughts like that, Celestia knows I'd do it too." And at that point you notice Rarity suddenly look away from him and you up towards the ceiling. Not sure what her deal is.

"Look, what Ah'm tryin to say is this." Applejack says as she gets up and starts walking around the table towards you. She stops right before she reaches you though. "Yah don't need to apologize." Then at that, she continues walk up to you and puts a hoof on your right shoulder, which makes you look up right into her eyes. "Yah don't need to worry about scarin' us. You came out of it all right, that's all we care about."

You... That's honestly the best response you could have hoped for. Yeah, you knew they'd probably understand, but at the very least you thought they'd be a little mad at you for projecting the entire fight into their minds like that. Still, the look in Applejack's eyes says everything. She understands, she understands everything, and she's not mad at all.

Suddenly, your attention gets drawn from her as you feel another hoof wrap around your other shoulder. You look to your left to see Fluttershy staring at you the same way Applejack is. Being that close you'd probably wanna worry about what her eyes can do (yeah, you remember that), but now, you're not even thinking about that.

You then look up from the two of them towards Spike, Rarity and Rainbow Dash, who all look pretty much the same. Spike and Rainbow Dash simply nod while Rarity just keeps looking at you.

"Thanks," is all you can say to them as you suddenly feel a huge weight you didn't even realize was there get lifted off your shoulders. Suddenly, you feel a lot better.

Applejack and Fluttershy stay on your shoulders for a few moments before they let go and walk back to where they were before, though Fluttershy sits down right next to you. You can swear both of them wanted to hug you, but since they knew of what happened to you previously.... yeah. Still, you would have allowed it.

Jason, tell them you've spent the afternoon experimenting with your new powers you somehow unlocked, and apologize to Rainbow for the rain.

First tell them about how you were testing out your awesome Latin powers and how you controlled the elements and stuff. Rainbow Dash thinks this is cool, but then figures out that it was you who messed with the weather, Proceed to move on in the discussion before she hits you.

Tell them you were experimenting with your new found powers Jason... then tell them about Haypennywise and all this other heavy detailed stuff so their up to date as well.

Speak in the most casual tone imaginable, especially when it comes to the more jaw-dropping parts. Just hope your casualness is contagious. Now, onto business; you have much to discuss.

Jason, do the one thing anyone with newly found powers would do- brag about them.

"Okay. Now, as far as where I was," you say as you get yourself refocused. Apology is over and done with. Now onto more important matters. "I was..." God this is gonna be awkward for you to tell them, but hey, it's not gonna be nearly difficult for you as what you just told them. "Experimenting with my newfound Latin powers." God that was weird to say.

"Uh, Latin.... powers...." Rainbow Dash says, finally adding to the conversation with noticeable confusion.

"That thing I used to show you guys my fight with Haypennywise," you say to them.

"Um..." Fluttershy chimes in. "If you don't mind me asking...." God that phrase brings up bad memories. You're not gonna hold that against her though. "What is Latin?"

"It's a language," you reply as you turn to look at her, and you watch her tilt her head a little bit. The look she's giving you tells you that she pretty much has no idea what you're talking about. So, you just let out a sigh. "Bonum est Fluttershy. Pulchra dies hodie est?" You watch as Fluttershy's ears perk up a little bit from hearing this, and a smile starts to form across her face.

To be fair to you, one of the other things you figured out while experimenting with your powers was that you could still speak Latin normally (and by that you mean say a phrase in Latin and have nothing happen) if you want to, but you left it out cause well, you didn't think it was work mentioning because it was painfully obvious.

"Oh my," Rarity suddenly chimes in from the pillow she is still sitting on. "That sounds lovely." You notice Spike throw a glare in your direction before looking back at her. You get the feeling that he kind of likes her, and you inner Batman (yes you did put back all of the characters you were channeling before), after a few quick deductions based on previous encounters with the two of them confirms this for you.

"Thank you," you reply back to her. "But yeah, projecting my thoughts like that isn't all I can do, in fact, it's not even the tip of the iceberg. Turns out I can do all kinds of things." Yeah, if you're gonna explain this to them you might as well go ball out with it.... and now you want to slam your head against the wall of this tree.... house... yeah, you're calling it a treehouse, until there is a hole in it, and then keep going for even thinking of saying something like that.

"What kinds of things?" Spike asks, a look of curiosity on his face.

Also, as I'm sure you're well aware, you should show them your powers. Don't do anything too crazy, of course. You don't wanna scare them, of course. Do something simple, like creating a pencil, or something. Hey, if they're still a bit disturbed from the visions you showed them in the hospital, maybe you could conjure up something with your powers to cheer them up.

"Well," you say in the most casual tone you can possibly muster as you hold up your right hand. You would hold up your left, but that hand is currently closer to Fluttershy, and you really don't wanna do this THAT close to her. "Penicillum." you say as a pencil suddenly appears in your hand, as if out of thin air. You watch as all the every pony and one dragon's mouth in the room spontaneously drops to the floor. Can't say you didn't expect that reaction really. You then proceed to spin the pencil around your index finger for a few moments before stoping it with your ring and middle fingers. "Aqua." You then say as the pencil suddenly dissolves into a clear blue ball of water that stays in your hand. You first thought to turn the pencil into fire, but given your recent experience with fire.... you think it best not to play with fire right now... especially while you are IN a tree.

But yes. You then proceed to maneuver the ball of water between all of your fingers like a snake, around your wrist, and then back into your palm where it settles into a perfectly spherical ball of water. After letting them gawk at it for a few more moments, you then close your hand as you relinquish the power, and when you open your hand again, the ball of water is gone. You let the four ponies and dragon stare at you with their mouths open for a few minutes as they try to contemplate what the hell just happened. Oh if only you had a camera, the looks on their faces right now... priceless.

After a few minutes or what you believe the appropriate amount of time is has passed. You cough to get their attention, which doesn't really work at all, but nonetheless.

"Yeah," you continue in the most calm and casual tone imaginable to you. Hopefully your casualness is contagious. "From what I've gathered these powers let me do pretty much anything I want. I can create anything I want, do anything I want, hell, I can even control the elements as much as I want too." You hope you don't sound like you're bragging... Ah hell you have kickass powers now. You SHOULD be bragging.

"Um.... right..... wait," Applejack suddenly says as she picks her mouth up off of the floor. "Ah thought that you said that you humans didn't have any magic. Isn't that why Twilight wanted yah in the first place? Cause she thought yah could do magic?" Oh she just had to bring that up. Then again, that kind of was part of why you were here.

"We don't," you say to her. "At least, not in the same sense that you ponies do." To be fair you've seen your fair share of unicorn magic by now. "But this isn't magic. It's more like..." you suddenly draw a blank there. You keep trying to think of things to compare your latin powers to that these ponies would understand, but you're coming up on nothing. Hell, you can't even come up with something to that even you would understand. "You know what, I'll get back to you on that." You say to her. She returns with a disgruntled look, but you can't blame her for that either. You'd probably give somebody the same look if they just cheated their way out of an explanation like that.

"So.... awesome..." Rainbow Dash finally chimes in, and it just now occurs to you how little she's been a part of this conversation. Hell, Rarity's spoken more than her and her jaw is still on the floor right now, and Fluttershy is... well, Fluttershy, you'd expect that from her, but still. "Wait." Rainbow Dash suddenly says as she puts a hoof to her chin. You watch her for a moment as she connects several dots in her head. Suddenly, her eyes burst open like somebody (or pony) put plates in her eyes to keep them open and she points a hoof at you. "YOU'RE THE ONE WHO MADE IT RAIN EARLIER!?" She shouts at the top of her lungs.

"Oooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.......... yeah....." you reply as you remember playing the Song of Storms. Hell, you were surprised that even worked. "Uh, sorry about that," you say as you nervously scratch the back of your head. Rainbow Dash just gives you a look like she's about two seconds away from hitting you through the wall. Maybe even less. It's quite frightening really. "ANYWAY!" You then say to try and move away from this subject as quickly as possible, before you DO get knocked through the wall (seriously she seems angrier than she should be).

Tell them that they all have to group up with Twilight and the Princesses as soon as possible, preferable tomorrow because whatever evil is hunting you has placed a force field around Ponyville which blocks Spike's fire and your own messages. If the monsters like Haypennywise are doing this, it means something bad is going to happen soon.

Ask the girls if they've noticed anyone new in town recently. Applejack mentions her cousin and LS (When given a description of what the cousin looks like, you swear you saw a pony like that on a motorcycle). Rarity mentions the stallions that were with Zecora. You also add in the creepy senator that eyed you earlier.

You've also got to find your Grandfather, so let them know what he looks like, what the hind looks like, and the guy who looks like Solid Snake but isn't that is flying with him. Also that weird snake creature with all the different body parts that was with them too.

They tell you it's Discord, and that he's supposed to be in Canterlot, so there's more incentive to go there soon.
Also, tell Spike about where the end of the energy bubble is so that he can send a message out. There's a bunch of destroyed and burnt trees, it'll be hard to miss. Have someone, or yourself go with him to make sure nothing bad happens to him

Tell them to be ready to go by tomorrow because something bad is coming, you just know it.

Also, do mention that there is no way to send a message to Twilight or Celestia, so if you do get a message from them, it's probably a trap.

Speak in the most casual tone imaginable, especially when it comes to the more jaw-dropping parts. Just hope your casualness is contagious. Now, onto business; you have much to discuss.

They have their answers, but you need yours. Your going to need some details for whatever you suspect is right and some things you don't know. What was that serpent-like creature with a goat head? Who is Risen Flagg in this world? What has been going on in this town? Your inner Batman (if he wasn't switched out) is constantly piecing things together.

You have been summoned because Twilight believes that theirs a powerful evil in Equestria, Twilight's unconsciousness upon sight of Risen, his arrival right after Haypennywise's, his eerie presence, a reference to dictator from another story you have read, this all couldn't be a coinicidence; He must be the source of your problems. Through professional deductive skills, you concluded to investigate Risen

However, the girls mentioned his good deeds to the public, and that what you are proposing is insane. So whatever you think about this guy is going to be ignored. You going to need to present them evidence. Your evidence is the barrier that surrounded Ponyville. If you can prove that it was set up right when Risen arrived, it could cause some doubt amoungst the mane six.

Lastly, Jason, be sure to get some information. These ponies have magic around here- see if they have some books about your abilities, or something. Ask who that politician pony is, and why he seems to hate you so much. Ask them if they've noticed anything amiss around the town. Stuff like that.

And, of course, give them a bit of information, too- warn them of what's happening happening. Some kind of demon clown pony with god-like powers attacked you, and now something's trying to block communications out of town. Something bad is happening, and they need to be very careful. For all you know, there could be some other monster planning on attacking... or listening to you right now.

... Just... be careful, 'kay? :pinkiesad2:

"I didn't call you all here to tell you about what I've been doing for the past few hours," you say to them. With your words the atmosphere of the room suddenly changes as the four ponies and Spike stop gawking at you and start paying attention. Now they can tell you are serious. Rainbow Dash is still giving you that disgruntled look of "I will kick you" but you can tell that she's still paying attention. God this is going to be difficult to do.

"I called you all here to see if you could help me figure out just what the hell is going on," you pause there for a second and take a deep breath. "Since I got here I've been chased by a crazy unicorn who wanted to rape me, which you guys helped me deal with, attacked by something I can't even begin to describe, somehow gained superpowers, and now there is some kind of barrier around the entire town."

"What?"

"What?"

"What?"

"What?" each pony echoed as they heard that.

"Just ask Spike," you say to them as you look in his direction. "He'll tell you." At that, the four ponies all turn their attention to him. He fidgets for a moment before he speaks.

"It's true," he says. "Every message I try to send a message to Celestia it just comes right back to me after a few seconds. Here, I'll show you," Spike says before he reaches for a quill and a pen, but Applejack holds up a hoof to stop him.

"'Sall right," she says. "We believe yah."

"And any message I try to send isn't getting through either," you chime in. "Which means whatever's blocking Spike's messages isn't limited to just him or this world's magic. No, whoever set this up knew about me. They knew about my abilities." Your inner batman figured that out the moment you tried to send a message to Princess Celestia and failed. "At this point, I think it's safe to say that someone, or rather some thing, doesn't want me in Equestria." That makes them all snap their attention back to you, their eyes suddenly wide with horror. Seriously, the tension right now is so thick you could cut it with a knife. As much as you know they were expecting to hear something like that, you still don't think they were fully prepared for it. Silence reined for several moments before someone, or rather, somepony, spoke, and oddly enough, it wasn't at all who you expected to break the silence.

"Um..." you hear a soft, almost whimper like voice say from somewhere close to you, and you turn to look at Fluttershy, whose still sitting next to you. She's rubbing her forehooves together nervously and she seems to be looking more at them than at you. "Um... that creature that attacked you in the forest....." she says while fidgeting with her hooves for a bit longer before she suddenly stops and looks up at you. "What was it?" At that, your blood suddenly runs cold, you were kind of dreading this, but you suppose you were gonna have to go through this eventually.

The look in Fluttershy's eyes is well... she looks worried. Honest to god worried. It's difficult to put into words, but you can tell just from the way she's looking at you that even though it frightened her to no end, she still wants to know. You then towards the others, the looks on all their faces are pretty much the same, a weird mix of intrigue and fear. That weird feeling of wanting to know something, but at the same time, deathly afraid of what you'll find out. If it's gonna be like this, you might as well. You take one more deep breath before you speak again.

"To be honest... I have absolutely no idea what that thing is or where it came from." you say to them. They don't seem surprised to hear that. "At best, the closest thing I can compare it to is a monster from a horror story called IT named Pennywise the Clown. In the story, Pennywise was some kind of shapeshifting monster from the stars who would scare children by transforming into their deepest, darkest fears and then devour them when they became truly afraid of him, because for whatever reason children taste better to him when they're afraid."

"Is that what he was trying to do to you?" Fluttershy asks. "Scare you so that he could eat you?"

"I don't think so," you reply. "Pennywise at children, not adults, and I don't think he had any interest in eating me. That's beside the point," you say as you turn your attention back to the others. "Pennywise isn't real, he's just a made up, fictional character from a horror story. He's not real. Even if that thing that attacked me looked similar to it, there's no way it could be him." For whatever reason, you felt really stupid saying that. "Anyway," you say to get this discussion back on track. "If anything's out there.... then we have to be careful. Have any of you noticed anyone new in town recently?"

"Why do you ask?" Spike asks as if he didn't expect you to ask a question like that.

"Just cause," you reply to him. "Something tried to kill me and it's probably still here. We can't afford to be too careful can we." At that, every pony puts a hoof to their chin in though. Except Rainbow Dash. She still looks angry at you.

"Well..." Applejack says. "Mah cousin Braeburn and his buffalo friend Little Strongheart showed up for a visit yesterday." Great, buffalo, now you've really heard everything.

"And..." Rarity finally chimes back in to contribute to the conversation. "There were those four stallions with Zecora the other day..." you then watch her tap her hoof against her chin for a few moments as her eyes look back up towards the ceiling in deep thought. Your instinct is telling you that they might be your best bet, but your inner Batman and Doctor are reminding you that you really don't know everybody (or is it pony?) in this town, so if this thing is hiding in pony form, it could be anypony for all you know. Nobody speaks for several moments after that.

"That just leaves Risen Flagg," you say aloud with your hand to your chin. Apparently you moved it there the same time as the others did without you even noticing.

"Who?" Applejack asks. The way she said that, it sounded like she had no idea who he was. Just as you open your mouth to explain though.

"THE SENATOR FROM CANTERLOT!" Rarity suddenly shouts loud enough for everyone in (and probably outside) the library to hear. Everpony and dragon just stares at her for a moment. They all seem equally confused. You are too to be fair, but for a different reason.

"You know about him?" you ask her.

"Know about him!" She responds as if you're asking who the president of the United States is, or more accurately, who Brad Pitt is. "Who in their right mind wouldn't know who the most charitable and noble senator is in all of Equestria. The common pony's senator, Canterlot's champion of the lower class." Everypony just stared at her at that, even Spike. Every one of them gave her a look that might as well have said 'What the hell are you talking about?' "What," she says. "It's not my fault I'm the only pony here who bothers keeping up with current events." That didn't change the way anypony was looking at her. "But that's beside the point!" She screamed as she turned her attention back to you. "Risen Flagg is here!? In Ponyville!?"

"Um, yeah," you reply. You kind of thought she already knew that. "I saw him arrive yesterday after I left the hospital." At that, Rarity brings both hooves up to her face and OH MY GOD SHE'S SWOONING!

"Oh and opportunity like this doesn't come often enough. The chance to meet a Canterlot senator. I-" She probably would have gone on, but then you see her turn her attention down to spike, who was kind of glaring at her. "Ah.... he he he... Um... yes, as I was saying." She says as she regains her former poise. "It's nice that the senator is visiting."

You bring your hand back to your chin as you collect your thoughts. Risen Flagg. Ever since you met him that pony has done nothing but creep you the f*ck out. You can't even explain why, you wish you could. It's just... every time you see him, and when the two of you make eye contact it's even worse, you feel some type of chill run down your spine. As if something you know you should be afraid of is also watching you, and the way he looks at you too. When he's looking at any other pony, at the very least he looks content, or at least as content as you know a politician would be, but when he looks at you, his expression changes completely, as if he's looking at something he despises, and he only does this with you from what you've seen. Granted you're not a pony, so he might just be like that because he's being subtly racist, but given what you've seen from every other pony you've encountered, even that idea seems a little bit far fetched.

"I don't like this," you say to them.

"What?" Applejack says as she turns her attention back to you, now suddenly curious. "What don't yah like?"

"Him..." you respond. "Something bugs me about him. First Twilight faints at the sight of him, then he just happens to show up right as I get out of the hospital, and suddenly there's a barrier around the whole town blocking communication, this whole thing doesn't seem right." You didn't mention that both he, and his name remind you of a certain other fictional Stephen King character for several reasons. They'd likely have no idea what you're talking about anyway.

"Uh, what was that first part thar?" Applejack suddenly asks, suddenly, Rainbow Dash drops the angry look off her face and starts paying attention to you as well, as does Rarity. You can only imagine that Fluttershy is as well, since you're not looking directly at you. They all have looks of immense confusion on their face, as do you. You didn't tell them about this? You could have sworn you did.

"I've met the senator before," you tell them. "I ran into him when I went to Canterlot with Celestia and Twilight. He met us at the entrance to the palace to greet us or something, and when Twilight saw him, she looked as if she'd seen a ghost and froze up for several seconds before fainting." Naturally, everyone there has the most shocked expression you could hope to see from them. Especially Spike, though you figured you knew why that was. "That," you continue. "And I don't think he likes me very much. When we spoke before, he acted like he wanted to get away from me as quickly as possible, and when I ran into him again yesterday, it was pretty much more of the same."

"That's absurd!" Rarity suddenly shouts, making everybody look at her. "Um... not to be rude here or anything Jason, but what you're suggesting is... well.... as I said, absurd. Everypony knows of the deeds that Risen Flagg has done for Equestria, how he fights for a more equal standing among the three races, how his push for a more progressive Equestria has led to some of the most technological innovation that Equestria has ever seen, not to mention that he donated a significant portion of his own money to various charity organizations not only in Canterlot, but cities all across Equestria such as Detrot."

You're not gonna lie, you figured that she would have a response like that. So you're not the least bit surprised. After all, this pony had to do something good to attain the kind of reputation that Rarity claims he has.

'The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist,' you think to yourself. Still, if what Rarity says is true, then his connection to Haypennywise is likely just your own paranoia, yet given what you've seen. Your inner Batman is making deductions like mad all leading back to him. If nothing else, it's telling you that you should at least investigate him, but without concrete proof it's gonna be difficult to convince these ponies that what you're saying may indeed be true. Unless.

"Hey, Spike," you say to him.

"Yeah," he replies after getting over his own bit of shock.

"When did you first notice the barrier around the town?" you ask him.

"Huh?" he replies with a look of confusion. You just let out a sigh at that.

"When did you first realize that you couldn't send any messages?" you rephrase your question.

"Oh," he replies. "Just after I got back seeing you the hospital. I tried to send a message to Celestia and Twilight telling them what happened, but when I did-"

"It just came back to you," you finish his sentence for him.

"Yeah," he replies.

"Was it working the day before?" you ask.

"I don't know," he replies. "I mean, I haven't had to send any other messages to her so I don't know."

'F*ck!' you scream in your head. You were really hoping that would help you somehow, but it doesn't seem like it is. If what Spike is saying is true, then that means that the barrier was more than likely set up sometime before Risen Flagg arrived. After all, he left the hospital before you did, and there was a time gap of at least an hour or so before he left and before you did, and you saw Risen Flagg just after you go out. There is always the possibility that since it was still the same day, Risen Flagg could have set it up before he arrived, but since there is no way to prove how long it was up, then it's not really leading to anything. You're gonna have to get some other type of proof if you wanna convince them that Risen Flagg really isn't on the level.

"ARG!" Rainbow Dash suddenly belts out as she finally decides to join the conversation again. "Okay look, barriers and senators who may or may not be creepy aside, is there ANYTHING ELSE that we should probably know?" You're.... kind of surprised that she actually said something, for some reason. She still looks angry at you though, but she did bring up a good point.

You think about that for a moment as all the other ponies and dragon look back at you. Is there anything else? Is there..... You take a moment to think about this as you look back to Rainbow Dash. She's still just floating in mid air staring at you. Floating... with her wings keeping her up... her wings... she's in the air all the time.... and when you realize it you want to bang your head against the wall again for forgetting it... This... kind of important detail.

"We need to find my grandfather," you straight up say to them. You've given up trying to be subtle at this point.

"What?" Rainbow Dash said, now suddenly invested in this.

"What?" Applejack asks as well.

"What?" Spike says. Fluttershy remains silent.

"There's another human in Equestria?" Rarity asks, though she seems a bit more interested than she should be... Ah, semantics.

"Apparently," you say to them. "Look, you saw him right, when I showed you my fight with Haypennywise, that other human that showed up to save me right?" They all look at each other for a moment at that, but then all give you nods of understanding. "Right, that's my great grandfather, Francis Morgan, and we've got to find him. If there is anybody alive in either my world or yours that knows anything about what's going on, it's him."

"What makes you say that?" Spike asks. Not a perfectly unreasonable question.

"From what I've gathered," you respond. "He's had some experience dealing with creatures like Haypennywise. That's how he was able to fight him off in this first place."

"Oh," is all Spike says in response.

"All right then," Applejack chimes in. It just occurs to you now how much of an active participant she's been. "Ah see what yer gettin at here. If that's the case, then we'll help you find him." Nopony seemed to object to that.

"What!?" Rainbow Dash shouts again, much to the annoyance of Applejack. "I, I mean don't get me wrong, I wanna help too-" That's actually a bit surprising coming from her considering she wanted to kick you (or at least you thought she did) for making it rain earlier. "-but where do we even begin looking for another human like that? I mean, if he's really been here longer than Jason has, one of us would have seen something." There is logic in that, but you're not about to argue it now. There are other issues at work right now.

"He's traveling around in some kind of helicopter," you tell them. "In fact I've seen them pass through both here and the Everfree Forest several times."

"What in the name of Equestria is a helicopter?" Rarity asks. You feel like they should know this already, since YOU KNEW THEY SAW IT in the flashback you showed them (the fight with Haypennywise), but then your inner Batman and Doctor kick the logic center of your brain again and remind you that these are indeed ponies, not humans, and even if they saw a helicopter, they might not know what it is. Still, you can't help but exhale loudly.

"Imagine a flying metal carriage with spinning blades on the top to keep it airborne," you tell them.... and they all just look at you like you're crazy. You can't help but exhale loudly again. It's then that you notice the quill and paper that Spike was gonna send to show them the barrier earlier. "Hey Spike," you say to him. "Can I borrow those for a second?" you say pointing to them.

"Uh, sure," he responds, no reason to turn you down. He reaches across the table and hands them to you, as well as some ink. You take them, and after spinning the quill in your hand right quick, you get to work on drawing. What? You can draw. You've always been able to do that.

Since you really don't have that much time, you start drawing a simple sketch of what the hind helicopter looks like so they can see it. You notice Fluttershy lean her head in a little bit so she can see. You don't stop her. Soon though, her head is joined by Applejack's, who walked around the table to see what you were doing, then Rarity's, then Rainbow Dash who is hovering above you, and then finally Spike, who was next to Rarity. You make no effort to push them away, even if they are invading your personal space a little bit. Since they're all here though.

"He's been using this thing to move around with some other human who looks like Solid Snake but isn't," you tell them all as you keep drawing?

"Who is Solid Snake?" Rainbow Dash asks, again, a perfectly valid question, but at this point, you're kind of tired of explaining every detail to them.

"Nevermind," you say to them.

"So.... there are three humans in Equestria then?" Fluttershy says. You think about that for a moment, and including you, that would make three.

"Yes," you say as you keep drawing. "He's piloting things thing with him, and some kind of..... other.... thing," you tell them, but hit a mental wall at the other thing that was with them as you try to come up with what it was, but hit nothing.

"What other thing?" Applejack asks.

"To tell you the truth I don't even begin to know how to describe it," you say to them, still drawing, though almost finished. Admittedly it's a rushed drawing, but hey, beggars can't be choosers. "It looks like some kind of weird mixture of a bunch of different animals. It was long and scaly, like a snake, but it also had a goats head, what I think was a lion's paw for one hand, and eagle's talon for the other, and had what looked like two different wings and two different horns on it's head and back."

"Wait, that's Discord," Applejack suddenly says, making you stop and drop the quill.

"You know him!?" you practically shout as you turn to look at her.

"All right all right jeez, say it, no need to spray it," Applejack replies as she moves away from your face, as do all the other ponies. "But yeah, we know 'im. That's Discord, spirit of chaos, disharmony, all that rot."

"He tried to turn Equestria in to a state of pure chaos," Rarity chimed in. You need to remind yourself to ask about that later.

"But then we defeated him and everything went back to normal afterwards," Rainbow Dash follows. "Since then he's been reformed by Fluttershy and hasn't really done anything since." You look over towards Fluttershy again, who only responds by turning away a little bit and smiling at that. Okay, so they do know this thing, that's a start.

"Okay," you say as you return to put the finishing touches on the drawing of the hind. "So that's a start. Where's this Discord now?"

"Well to tell you the truth Ah'm not really sure," Applejack says, putting a hoof to her chin again.

"From what I understand," Rarity chimes in. "He's been living in Canterlot with Celestia. She said that she needed him reformed cause she needed his magic for something." And they've sold you on that. First thing is first then, find Discord. At that point, you also finish up the rough drawing of the hind. You even add in quick sketches of a human and a pony next to it so that it's to scale. It's not to EXACT scale, but it's close enough.

"OH COME ON REALLY!" Rainbow Dash shrieks as she sees it. "You're telling me something that big's been flying through Ponyville and the Everyfree Forest. One of us would have seen it, somepony would have said something!"

"Well I've seen it fly through here at least ten times, and the destruction at Sweet Apple Acres is proof enough that it exists," you reply to her. Right before Rainbow Dash can open her mouth to respond to that though, Applejack beats her to the punch.

"He's right," she says, which causes everypony (and you) to look at her again. "Mah cousin Braeburn came askin me about what happened in tha fields yesterday." Everyone including you fall silent at that.

"Okay..." Rainbow Dash then says. "So what, is it silent then? Cause maybe-"

"No," you say before she can even finish that sentence. "In fact it's so loud I can't imagine anyone not hearing it."

"Okay..." Rainbow Dash says. "So does it fly faster than a sonic rainboom then?"

"A what?" you ask. "You mean like a sonic boom? Cause it certainly can't travel faster than the speed of sound?"

"Oh..." Rainbow Dash then says. "Well.... it is invisible or something then cause-" You're about to respond to her, but right as you open your mouth, you realize that she does have a point.

"Well, it certainly isn't invisible," you tell her. "But maybe they are doing something to make you all not notice it. You're right, given how big and loud it is, somepony would have seen it."

"So what do we do then?" Spike asks, and that is indeed a very good question. You let them all look at the drawing just a little bit more before you stand back up and hand it over to Rainbow Dash, who just looks at you quizzingly as you force it into her hooves.

"For now," you begin. "If we're gonna start by looking for my great grandfather, we should start that by talking to this Discord guy. You." You say as you point to Dash. "You keep a lookout for the helicopter. I've seen you, you're in the air practically all the time. If anyone here has a chance of seeing it, it's you."

"What?" Rainbow Dash says, confused, and a little bit angry again. "I already told you before I've never seen it, what makes you think-" Before she can finish, you reach out and put your hand on her head. Why you felt the need to do that though was beyond you.

"Haec una scit occultum," you say to her. Nothing really happens, and Rainbow Dash doesn't seem to notice anything as you take your hand away. "There, now you should have no problem." She doesn't say anything to respond to you. She just looks at you like you're insane.... and then the angry look returns. She keeps the picture though.

"Spike," you then say.

"Yes!" he says as he suddenly appears right next to you. God he's quick. It's like he's used to this sort of thing. "I need you to send a message to Celestia and Twilight. Tell them everything. Tell them what's happened with me and tell them what we just talked about here. Tell them that we're coming to Canterlot and we'd like to speak to this Discord person. Also, tell her not to write back. Tell her about what's been going on, with me and everything, and tell her that there's some kind of energy barrier blocking communication, so if you do receive a reply from them, it's probably a trap."

"Um..." Spike replies, not doing a thing you asked.

"Go to where I was," you tell him. "Go just outside of town. The barrier doesn't extend that far. You can't miss it, there are a bunch of destroyed and burnt trees everywhere." And at that, they all look at her like you're insane again. "Now, if it's not too much to ask, do you think one of you could go with him, just in case-"

"I'll go," Rarity chimes in before you can even finish. Now she looks concerned as all hell. "But when are we leaving for Canterlot?"

"Tomorrow," you say to them, and at that, all their eyes snap open.

"Tomorrow!" Fluttershy belts out, though it's barely above a whisper.

"Why tahmorrow?" Applejack asks. "Why tha hurry?"

"Because honestly," you say as you take in a deep breath. At this, they all look at you concerned, even Rainbow Dash who previously wanted to kick you. "It's because something big is about to go down." None of them have any kind of reaction to this, though Rarity.... the look on her face changes somehow, like she spontaneously went into shock. "I know I must seem insane to you all right now, believe me, if one of my friends told me this, I'd call them insane, but something is going to happen real soon. I'm not sure what it is or when it will happen, but I can feel it. I just have this really bad feeling." You.... you can't describe the looks on any of their faces right now. It's like they're all worried, but at the same time, aren't really sure. Rarity however is still a mystery to you. You suppose you can't really blame them though.

At this, you let out one last deep breath before you turn around and head for the door.

"Thanks for listening," you say to them as you head out. You're not sure how well of an impact you made on them or if they even believe you, but at least you talked about it.

Just as you're about to open the door to leave however...

"Nyarlathotep," Rarity suddenly says, causing you to stop dead in your tracks.

"What'd yah say Rar?" Applejack asks, sounding confused, as if she just said gibberish.

"It's what Twilight said she wanted the centaur for," Rarity says. "Why she wanted Jason in the first place. She told me about it when she was in my boutique. She said that Nyarlathotep was coming and that she needed Jason and the centaur to stop him."

You..... you didn't just feel a chill go up your spin as that name hits your ears. It feels like you were just suddenly moved to Antarctica, and then felt an Antarctic chill run up your spin, and you're also pretty sure your heart stopped beating and all of your cells froze. No.... no way in hell did she just say that name.

My BRAIN IT DOESNT WANT TO DO THINGS FOR ME! Jason Do something relevant to your situation, Dry fish, six martians, a submarine, mexican hat dance, sing Billy Joel, eat bacon, lie on the ground and hum, turn into a collection of Faberge eggs, russian doll yourself, suplex the floor, BOOP ALL THE PONIES IN EQUESTRIA!

I really don't know. Please don't ask.

"J- Jason..." Applejack suddenly asks...

"It's nothing," you quickly say as you walk out the door and shut it behind you, leaving the four ponies and dragon in there with their own thoughts as you step back outside.

No.... no way did Rarity mention that name... It's impossible.... it's just...

'He was an Outer God, the last one left on this side of the gateway. He had many names, The Black Pharaoh, the God of a Thousand Forms, The Crawling Chaos, The Man in Black, but we preferred to call him by his true name... Nyarlathotep.' Silas' words crawl through your ears. 'The Great Old Ones are the stuff of nightmares lad, and Nyarlathotep is an Outer God, to them to Great Old Ones are pawns, servants, expendable assets, insects, what we were to them. I want you to get that through your head so that you have an idea of what your great-granddad was goin' up against'

No... no no.... no no.... She did not just say that name. Nyarlathotep isn't real... he was never real... He's just an.... H.P. Lovecraft character.....

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

It's still daylight, everyone's about. You're standing in the middle of Ponyville. There are still things to be done, and Pinkie Pie's party isn't till much later. You can still do things.

What do you do?

(*Side Story characters. I'm sorry but you're gonna have to wait until after part 2 is released before you can post comments relating to the side story. Sorry.*)

-Meanwhile, in Ponyville's only hotel-

Risen Flagg, who just returned from his tour of Ponyville, retired to his room wherein he began to look through one of the two bags that he brought with him when suddenly, there was a knock at his door. With a quick jolt of magic, the door opened, allowing both Joseph Curwen and Trixie to step inside.

“Um,” Trixie said with a hint of nervousness in her voice as she entered the room. “You…you wished to see us, Risen,” but before she could utter another letter or word, the door slammed shut behind her. Nigh instantaneously, the drapes pulled themselves shut, sealing the room from both within and without, as a creeping chaotic darkness filled the remaining light.

Without a single sign of movement, Risen Flagg’s body moved before them, as though the darkness propelled him forward into the darkness before Trixie and Curwen, looming over them as his form seemed to grow tall with the dark.

Why didn’t either of you tell me that that mare lived in this town?” Flagg asked them in a voice nearly unfit for the throat from whence it came, a voice almost not made of this Equestria. Curwen and Trixie both shrank back at his words that seemed to reverberate from every particle of the darkness, fear overwhelming the mare as she folded into a ball from fear. Curwen, retaining some composure merely stepped back a fair ways, hoping not to bump into anything.

“Wha…what mare?” Trixie trembled, shaking where she lay all the while staring up at the impossibly tall Risen Flagg.

“What mare, you ask,” he replied, his voice fading back into normalcy. “What mare, oh I don’t quite know, that cross-eyed one that we had Chrysalis impersonate so that she could blow up one of our factories and blame it on a terrorist attack which f*cking one do you think!?” While Trixie was noticeably shaking from the sheer tone of Risen's words, Curwen managed to keep himself in check.

"We... we did Risen," Trixie replied. "It was in her file. The one you were given when we started this whole ordeal."

"Oh really," Risen Flag replied as his horn started glowing its familiar red color. A few seconds later, a file from his bag levitated to him. He stepped away from them for a moment as he opened up the file and quickly read through it, pacing around the room a bit as he did. After a few moments, the look he was carrying dropped from his face, and the tension in the air went with it. "Oh I see," he stated levitating the file back to the bag, "my apologies then."

The trio sat in the room in silence, each one minding their own personal affairs, silently patient as the darkness receded further and the drapes drew open once more.

“What should we do now?” Trixie asked, slowly approaching the contemplating senator.

“Unfortunately for us, this news rushes the next phase of the plan slightly and really impedes on the planned out schedule,” he mused to no one in particular, all the while standing there, eyes shut in contemplation. “Perhaps we should, no,” he paused before continuing, “or we could have the Queen, no that would fail as well,” he added when finally, his eyes shot open, full of the fire of an idea. “I believe that it would prove to be in my best interest to go talk to the Mayor again, and make a few, adjustments to my earlier requests,” he concluded as a smile crept upon his face. Both Trixie and Curwen just stared at him for a few seconds, unsure of what he was thinking. "That being the case," he said as he used his magic to close his bag and move it to the front of his bed. "I will be heading off."

“What should we do now, Risen?” Trixie inquired as Flagg began to leave the hotel room, door slightly ajar.

“Go into town and enjoy the sights and sounds of this little burg,” he quipped. “After all, it would rouse too much suspicion if you two were to stay in this room all day long.”

“But, I’ve been here before, and not on the best of terms,” Trixie replied.

“Regardless, the events of the past are just that, the past, so please be a dear, Trixie and try to make some semblance of a public appearance,” Risen returned. “After all, how would it appear for my image if the mare that is meant to be at my side hides away from the public eye?” Trixie blushed and nodded in agreement, almost swooning at his words.

“I would rather,” Curwen began before he found himself cut off.

“Spend you afternoon mingling with the other ponies in town with Trixie and not,” Risen stated, “not spend the remainder of this trip hiding in our hotel room.” Curwen, looking towards Flagg, merely nodded his head in agreement, understanding that arguing with the senator would prove to be, as it had always been, in vain.

“And of the party this evening,” Trixie asked, “Will we be attending?”

“Of course,” Flagg stated as he left the room. “Nothing in the worlds would prevent me from attending a party with him in attendance.”

Author's Note

status: edited

There is Only One Page (Part 2: Side Story)

There is Only One Page (Part 2: Side Story)

-Side Story-

P҉on̵y͘ ͜K̨o̸m͜bat/Bo̡ss Bat̨tļe:̨

̛Swimm͟i̷n͏g ́Da̧l̶e̡k̡ vs S͡l҉e̴nd҉er҉p͠o̕ny

-The Dalek Flagship, The Caesar-

-The Auxiliary Generator Room-

Swimming Dalek vs Slenderpony

Deceiving Eyes by Cradle of Filth

Swimming Dalek, commander of the reformed Dalek fleet stood his ground and kept his eyes on the one in front of him. Slenderpony, servant of Risen Flagg and the one who disabled his ships and crippled his fleet. Even though Swimming Dalek had managed to retain his aura of confidence throughout this entire ordeal, something in his mind kept screaming at him right now.

'Why doesn't he take me?' Swimming Dalek kept asking himself the longer he kept his eyes on Slenderpony. 'I'm looking right at him. He should be taking me away. He should have taken my Daleks away when they saw him, but instead he killed them? Why? What is going on here?' Even though he knew that this should be giving him confidence, instead it only made him worry more.

SD, and this is very important, do you have...

twenty dollars?
If Yes, give to slenderpony as sign of good faith. If No, proceed to roleplay as RA.

And the fact that he didn't have twenty dollars to give him didn't exactly help his uneasiness. Not that that would have worked anyway. For one, this version of the Slender race was a pony, so if anything, he would have needed twenty bits, assuming that giving him twenty bits would have worked at all, which it wouldn't have.

'Seriously, who the hell came up with that?' Swimming Dalek asked himself. He wasn't an idiot, he knew that there was no way in hell that would have worked.

Suddenly and without any indication, Swimming Dalek didn't even blink, Slenderpony disappeared.

Okay… the form I shall assume for the first part of this battle is a Ika Musume. Better known as a Squid Girl:

I use this form's combat tentacles, and their species' ability to control their weight, to go against Slenderpony's speed and strength, rapidly changing weight to move or block or counter-attack. I shall PM you the rest.

'Sh*t!' Swimming Dalek screamed in his head as Slenderpony appeared right in front of him and shot a tentacle forward at him. Swimming Dalek quickly ducked his head down and narrowly avoided it, but that didn't stop Slenderpony as he show another tentacle straight downwards into the ground right where he stood.

Swimming Dalek quickly opened up his eel like body and slithered around Slenderpony and got behind him before he started moving towards the edge of the room to get away from him. Slenderpony however, didn't stop there and ran his tentacle along the ground chasing after Swimming Dalek. Swimming Dalek got only a few feet from Slenderpony before he noticed the tentacle behind him, and before it could grab him, his body suddenly began to glow an orange hue as he changed form.

Before the glow from his body even subsided, another, blue tentacle with a triangle on the tip came out from it and blocked Slenderpony's tentacle, making him draw it back. When the glowing finally subsided, Swimming Dalek had taken the form of Ika Musume, aka Squid Girl. Swimming Dalek stood where he was for a few moments, moving the tentacles on his head around to get used to them before they all fell back behind his head. At that, he stood up and got into a fighting stance.

Slenderpony however, didn't waste time and teleported right in front of him again. Swimming Dalek wasn't about to fall for this twice though and jumped back several feet before Slenderpony lashed out another tentacle at him. Swimming Dalek however, lashed out one of his own tentacles and swatted it away. Undeterred, Slenderpony sent out another one, only for Swimming Dalek to swat it away with one of his own again. Slenderpony then sent out another one, and again Swimming Dalek swatted it away, only for Slenderpony to redirect his tentacle and send it at him again. Out of the corner of his eye, Swimming Dalek saw this and stuck one of his tentacles in the ground. Using it, he lifted up his entire body and launched himself up in the air towards Slenderpony. He pulled back his tentacle off the ground before Slenderpony could grab it.

Slenderpony, seeing Swimming Dalek coming towards him, lashed out several of his tentacles at once. Swimming Dalek however, flipped around in the air, then swatted them all away with several of his own tentacles like before. After swatting the last one away, he extended his foot inches away from Slenderpony's face. Just before his foot could make contact with Slenderpony's face though, Slenderpony teleported away, making Swimming Dalek hit the ground where he stood.

'Sh*t! Where'd he go!?' Swimming Dalek mentally screamed at himself as he looked around the generator room and saw nothing, only machinery, disabled machinery. Suddenly, from behind him, he felt something. Right as Slenderpony appeared behind him, he sent several of his tentacles at him. Swimming Dalek lifted all of his up and blocked every single tentacle Swimming Dalek sent at him. With that done took one of them and planted it into the ground, he then used it to lift up his entire body off the ground, then spin it around and kick Slenderpony in the face.

Before Swimming Dalek's foot could hit Slenderpony however, another one of Slenderpony's tentacles came out and wrapped itself around Swimming Dalek's foot. Slenderpony then proceeded to lift Swimming Dalek into the air, and then slam him back into the ground, and then again one more time before he spun Swimming Dalek around and threw him behind him.

Before Swimming Dalek could hit the wall behind him though, he shot one of the tentacles from his head into the ground and, using Squid Girl's ability to control her weight, made the tentacle so massive that it slowed his movement completely. He then used it to lift himself down back onto his feet, but when he looked forward back at Slenderpony, he was gone.

Suddenly, Slenderpony appeared behind him again, and tentacles reached out from his body and wrapped themselves around every single one of Swimming Dalek's. Slenderpony pony then slowly proceeded to lift Swimming Dalek off his feet. Swimming Dalek tried to counter this by spinning himself around via his hair and punching Slenderpony in the face, but another one of Slenderpony's tentacles appeared and wrapped itself around his wrist before it could hit him, then another one around his other wrist, and then two more around both his legs.

'F*ck me, I've seen enough hentai to know where this is going,' Swimming Dalek mentally yelled at himself as Slenderpony held him there. Fortunately for Swimming Dalek, Slenderpony had no interest in such things, and merely held him in place. Swimming Dalek and Slenderpony looked into each other's eyes for several moments, though it was more like Swimming Dalek was looking into the empty stumps that were Slenderpony's eyes. Slenderpony didn't make any sounds, and Swimming Dalek felt the tentacles around him start to pull.

He bit his lip to avoid screaming in pain, but as he did, he got an idea as a sadistic smile crept upon his lips as he kept his eyes on Slenderpony. Using Squid Girl's ability to control her weight, he increased the mass of his entire body, and kept going. It didn't do anything at first, but he kept going until his mass exceeded even his expectations. Eventually, his weight had increased so much, that even Slenderpony couldn't take it as he slowly started to drop him back towards the ground and loose a grip on him with his tentacles.

'Right!' Swimming Dalek said to himself before his butt hit the ground again. At the weight he was, he'd fall right through the ship. Before he could touch the ground though, his body began to glow bright orange again. In his mid transformation state, he managed to get out of Slenderpony's tentacles. When the orange glow subsided, Swimming Dalek had changed from his Squid Girl form to that of a Giras from Dragonball.

With his new form settled, the moment his feet hit the ground, Swimming Dalek opened his mouth and let out a loud roar right in Slenderpony's face before he reached up with both of his massive hands and grabbed all of the tentacles that were previously holding his Squid Girl tentacles. He then spun Slenderpony around with them several times and threw him across the room. The moment Slenderpony left Swimming Dalek's grip however, he disappeared again and reappeared right in front of Swimming Dalek.

Swimming Dalek however, expected this, and the moment Slenderpony appeared, he opened his mouth and used the merry-go-round gum ability of the Giras to trap Slenderpony.

"Gotacha b*tch!" Swimming Dalek said before he charged forward and checked Slenderpony hockey style. The resulting impact knocked Slenderpony several feet away from him onto his back. Swimming Dalek however, wasn't about to waste any time here as he quickly transformed into a xenomorph, which he then used to leap onto the wall, and then onto the ceiling right above Slenderpony. He then looked down at Slenderpony, and Slenderpony looked up at him. That was the only moment he'd get. At that, Swimming Dalek let go of the ceiling and turned into a Snorlax, upon which he fell directly on top of Slenderpony and used bodyslam.

Before Swimming Dalek could land the hit though, Slenderpony disappeared again, leaving only the gum, and making Swimming Dalek hit nothing but the ground beneath him. As he hit the ground, a lone Dalek drone began to move into the room. Swimming Dalek's eyes met it. The Dalek didn't need to respond, it knew what to do. Swimming Dalek's body then began to glow with a familiar orange hue.

Suddenly, Slenderpony appeared several feet to the left of Swimming Dalek and launched a tentacle at him. Before it could hit him though, Swimming Dalek transformed into a large, scorpion like animal roughly larger than Snorlax and grabbed the tentacle with it's claw. Slenderpony's tentacle wrapped around the claw, but Swimming Dalek's large size meant that he couldn't move him, at least not now. Swimming Dalek then used his massive form and claw to swing Slenderpony around and then throw him above him up onto the air. It was at that point that Swimming Dalek's eyes looked back towards the Dalek.

"EXTERMINATE!" The long Dalek drone shouted as he fired his death ray right at the airborne Slenderpony and hit him dead center. However, rather than hit Slenderpony like it should, the laser went right through him, as if it were a ghost, or more appropriately, wasn't even there. Suddenly, right after the laser completely phased through him, Slenderpony disappeared again.

'F*CK ME!' Swimming Dalek mentally screamed at himself before he turned his attention back to the lone Dalek drone. He didn't even see Slenderpony spontaneously appear, he was already behind the Dalek when he looked at him. Slenderpony then reached out two tentacles, one grabbed the top half of the Dalek around it's head, and the other one grabbed the base.

"EXTERMI-!" The Dalek drone screamed as it was lifted up and torn in half like tissue paper by Slenderpony. Swimming Dalek didn't even have time to react to that before Slenderpony threw the top half of the Dalek's body at him. Swimming Dalek swatted it away with one of it's claws before it could hit him, but then immediately after he did, he saw the lower half of the Dalek coming at him, and he swatted that away with his other claw. The moment he did however, Slenderpony appeared right in front of him again and, he didn't even use a tentacle, he just stepped right on Swimming Dalek's head with with his front right hoof. The sudden impact of Slenderpony's hoof was so strong it literally curb stomped Swimming Dalek's head into the ground.

"YOU SON OF A B*TCH!" Swimming Dalek screamed at him as he opened his right claw and lunched it at Slenderpony. Slenderpony didn't even move, nor did he use a tentacle., he just lifted up his left hoof and stopped it like it was nothing. Instinctively, Swimming Dalek then lifted up his scorpion tail and brought it down on Slenderpony, but Slenderpony reached up with two tentacles and stopped Swimming Dalek's tail before it even got close. Swimming Dalek then tried to close his claw around Slenderpony, but was again stopped by two more tentacles. Slenderpony held Swimming Dalek there for several moments, and soon, Swimming Dalek could start to feel Slenderpony's tentacles begin to pull his tail apart in the same way he did the Dalek earlier.

A being of supernatural ability... He's fast, and can teleport upon his will. That means he could easily move around preventing you from thinking of a plan. You're going to need to be unpredictable as much as him. You already know of his abilities, but he doesnt know your arsenal. With the generator as a battle zone, you're going to need to be careful. And you may or may not have a strange love for your ship.

There's one thing to do: Even the playing field. Slow him down by any possible means. Use ice to make him uncomfortable on where he stands, use EM waves to hinder his teleportation, fire a seemingly endless onslaught of bullets if you have to! Your Daleks can surround him, so don't give him space for anything! Just keep on overwhelming him until you see an opening. He has to have a limit on how he moves.

Swimming Dalek quickly transformed into a mist of orangish dust and moved away from Slenderpony, but Slenderpony disappeared the moment he left. Swimming Dalek then moved a few feet away from where he was before and transformed into his rocket cheetah form. He looked all around the whole room for Slenderpony, but he didn't see him anywhere.

'F*ck me he's fast,' he thought to himself. 'I need to figure out some type of way to stop his teleporting, but how? EM waves don't work on slenders cause of their unique biological structure, and.... Sh*t, why does this have to be so f*cking hard!?' Suddenly he looked up, and saw Slenderpony on the ceiling. 'Sh*t!!!' he screams in his thoughts right as Slenderpony drops from the ceiling right down on top of him.

Immediately, Swimming Dalek bolted for the other side of the room right as Slenderpony was about to hit him. Slenderpony didn't even hit the ground though, as he just disappeared before he made any kind of contact with it.

Be fast and keep dodging, he's only used his Tentacles to fight and keeps teleporting, so he must want you away from his body. Slice that asshole's nonexistent face and see how he likes it.

When he does try the whole "teleport behind and try to stab you" routine, immediately do an awesome backflip dodge which then turns into a falling leg drop kick to his body sending him to his knees.

Right before Swimming Dalek was even able to get remotely close to the edge of the room, Slenderpony appeared right in front of him and lunged a tentacle straight forward at him. Swimming Dalek quickly jumped up and flipped over, cat style, and then quickly turned to his left and ran again, only to have Slenderpony appear in front of him again and try the same thing. Swimming Dalek managed to get low and go around Slenderpony before he could grab him, but this only worked for a brief second as Slenderpony disappeared again and reappeared in front of him and slightly to his right.

Swimming Dalek jumped to his left and ran again. He was lucky that his rocket cheetah form was as agile as it was fast. Sure, he couldn't go his 2147 miles per hour top speed in this room because of how small it was, but he could change direction very quickly, and that was coming in handy now. Still, as fast as he was, Slenderpony was still faster, and no matter where he went, Slenderpony still had a way of getting in front of him.

'Sh*t! I can't keep this up forever,' Swimming Dalek thought to himself as he had to do an action roll out of the way of another one of Slenderpony's tentacles, only for Slenderpony to appear in front of him again and swing a tentacle upwards. Swimming Dalek leapt to the side and ran past him, but as he did, his mind went back to an earlier thought he had.

If you're in the Generator Room, there stands to reason that there is some sort of coolant like liquid nitrogen to keep it from overheating. Stand in front of one of those said pipes/tanks and when he tries to stab you, dodge and he will freeze his tentacles into ice. Break one off and stab him with it.

'Freeze him,' he thought. 'No, that wouldn't work. It would work about as well as EM waves, unless.... Okay f*ck this has a zero percent chance of working but I got nothing else. I could use the coolant for the generators, but I can't let him destroy this room, so how can I free-. Wait-'

Suddenly, before he could go any further with that though, Slenderpony appeared right in front of him. Swimming Dalek dug his claws into the metal below him and tried to slow himself down so he could change direction. Before he could though, Slenderpony disappeared again. Swimming Dalek's eyes went wide as he saw this, he didn't expect this. Then suddenly, Slenderpony appeared behind him right as he skidded to a halt.

Right as Slenderpony got out a tentacle and tried to stab him though, Swimming Dalek instinctively jumped up and did a backflip to dodge his tentacle, and when it came down, he hit Slenderpony with a falling leg drop, the resulting impact knocked Slenderpony to his knees.

'What the f*ck!?' Slenderpony thought to himself as he landed behind Slenderpony. 'That actually worked? How? How did I hit him?' However, he quickly realized that that didn't matter, and he quickly changed from the rocket cheetah into Glacius from Killer Instinct. Once he was settled into his new form, he stuck his hand into the ground and froze the floor beneath him all the way to Slenderpony and actually managed to trap his feet into the ground. 'The hell?' Swimming Dalek thought to himself.

However, Slenderpony turned around and looked at him as he broke one of his legs free of the ice that held him.

'Sh*t no time to think!' Swimming Dalek screamed at himself as he rushed forward at Slenderpony.

For SD here are my suggestions first and foremost you...

R.A.: BEAT ON THAT SLENDERPONY'S HEAD TILL YOU HIT TONSILS!

Shut up R.A. you're still flying through the space between universes, but as I was saying first off watch for Slenderpony's tentacles and proceed to beat the fucker's ass!

R.A.: How is that different from mine?

I told SD to play smartly WHILE beating Slenderpony's ass. You just wanted him to rush in and beat on Slenderpony's skull like you would do if you were in his situation.

R.A.: Hmmm good point... BUT STILL BEAT ON HIS SKULL UNTIL YOU HIT TONSILS THEN DRINK HIS BRAIN FLUID THROUGH A STRAW LIKE MARK THE ALIEN FROM FAIRLY ODDPARENTS!

... *sighs annoyingly while face palming*

Before Slednerpony could even move, Swimming Dalek ran up to him and hit him with a shoulder bash, which knocked Slenderpony away from him a foot. Swimming Dalek then hit him with an ice lance, and then again with another ice lance. He then disappeared into a puddle beneath Slenderpony's feet, and then came up out of it and hit him with a puddle uppercut, and then again, and again for one last time. He then came up out of the puddle and punched him once in the face before creating a "clone" of himself and using his shatter move, which made Slenderpony flinch backwards a little, but Swimming Dalek was not done yet, as he hit him with his ice lance three more times before hitting him with his hail move, and every single one hit him. Swimming Dalek then stamped on the ground and caused several icicles to appear from it, each one impaling Slenderpony. Then, he wasn't done yet, Swimming Dalek then punched the ground and caused one giant icicle to come up out of the ground right into him.

But he wasn't done yet though, Swimming Dalek then rushed forward with a shoulder bash and then-

Authors note: Okay, the next bit of this is a bit hard for me to describe, both having not played Killer Instinct and not really wanted to describe this many moves in succession. So you'll just have to take my word for it when I tell you that Swimming Dalek does pretty much this to Slenderpony.

ULTRA COMBO!!!!!!!

Those words seemed to scream in Swimming Dalek's head as Slenderpony's corpse fell to the ground.

"WOO, HELL THE F*CK YES!!!" Swimming Dalek yelled out as he changed into his human form. "THAT'S HOW WE DO IT! WHAT'D YOU GOT NOW SLENDER HUH!? WHAT YOU GOT NOW!?"

Do a lot of these attacks and he will become really pissed and start aggressively attacking, use this against him.

The moment the last of his words left his mouth, the atmosphere (or lack thereof) of the room started to change as the world in front of Swimming Dalek's slowly began to become a shade of red and the whole room started to shake. Yet, Slenderpony's body didn't move.

Side story
SD lunges foreward, turning into the silence, using the Silence's powers to make Slender completely forget about you until you come in for quick combo strikes.

'Well f*ck me,' Swimming Dalek rushed to himself as he quickly transformed himself into a member of the Silence and started to rush Slenderpony. Before he could even move though. Slenderpony's body suddenly disappeared. The next thing Swimming Dalek knew, Slenderpony appeared right in front of him, and without even touching him, knocked him all the way back into the wall of the generator room behind him.

Before he could even register what happened, Slenderpony appeared right in front of him again and grabbed him by his neck with one of his tentacles, and then four more came out and grabbed his arms and legs, preventing him from moving at all. All Swimming Dalek could do was stay there and feel the little air he had get chocked out of him. Slenderpony didn't even bother lifting Swimming Dalek off the ground this time, he was just gonna choke him out.

Suddenly, like before, Swimming Dalek turned into a golden mist and moved back to the center of the room where he transformed back into his rocket cheetah form. Unfortunately though, when he got there, Slenderpony was already waiting for him.

'OH SH*T!!!' Swimming Dalek screamed to himself as he bolted away from him, only for several tentacles to come up out of the ground in front of him and try to grab him. 'SH*T SH*T SH*T!!!' Swimming Dalek screamed to himself as he worked his way around them, only to run into Slenderpony again. He narrowly avoided getting swooped under by a tentacle and lunging at his face, but Slenderpony disappeared before he could even hit him and appeared just a few feet behind where he was standing. 'SH*T!' Swimming Dalek screamed as he skidded to his left and kept going.

'SH*T! Okay, how did I hit him before!?' Swimming Dalek thought to himself as he kept narrowly avoiding Slenderpony's relentless attacks. Even his rocket cheetah form wasn't helping matters as much as he would have liked. 'It wasn't as if that was a fluke, it wasn't. I had him somewhere and...' He stopped that train of thought for a second if something came to him as he jumped to avoid several more tentacles coming out of the ground at him. 'Their unique biology, they.... Yeah, that has to be it!' he thought to himself as a smile began to creep on his rocket cheetah face.

*on the Caesar*

Me: *dodges an attack from Slenderpony* Oh, COME ON! I can do this with my eyes closed! No, wait… *turns into a xenomorph* HISS HISS! (translation: I don't need them!)
Slenderpony: *says nothing, as usual, yet shows signs of moderate irritation due to my cocky manner* *attacks with more gusto than usual*

Me: *jumps away, and climbs into air duct with thin xenomorph body* HISS! HIIIIIISSSSSSSS! (Come and get me!)
Slenderpony: *begins sending his tendrils into air ducts and starts ripping them open* *he finds nothing*

Me: Hissssssssss… (Up here, dingbat) *I'm right over him* *I open my mouth and use the extend-mouth-tongue-thingie, impaling him in the head*

Slenderpony: *black blood leaks from his head, and then he dissolves into mist*

Me: HIIIIIISSSSSS! (God damnit!) *turns into a Yautja*

Me: Dtai'kai'-dte sa-de nau'gkon dtain'aun bpi-de. (translation from Yautja language: The fight that has begun here will not end until it has reached its end {simplified: It's not over yet}) *begins smelling out Slenderpony, then turns sharply* *grabs the very tip of Slenderpony's tendril, and pulls hard, yanking Slenderpony slightly off balance* RAOOOOGH! *leaps at Slenderpony, and lands a solid hit on his face, the sound of bones shattering echoes through the surrounding hallways*

Me: *turns back into human form* Heh… Now I know your weakness… you can phase out of existence as much as you want… but if you want to hit someone, you have to make the part you're fighting with become solid. Even if the rest of your tentacle is intangible, all I have to do is get the tip. And you also can't heal yourself… you can make yourself mist and all that crap, but HEALING YOURSELF is too much to ask? Well, had to draw the line somewhere…

Slender: *loud, ringing noise echoes throughout the hallways*

Me: That's how you cry… I can feel your sadness… the sadness you do not have to feel…

Slender: *rubs cheek softly, then turns and, somehow, glares at me*

Me: You have no need to serve him. He wants to revolt against his masters, the Outer Gods. He wants to claim the throne for himself. Now, I don't know what's happened recently, but up until now, Nyarlathotep has been little more than mischievous, never going so far as a complete revolution.

Slender: *silence*

Me: I KNOW you understand me! You HAVE TO LISTEN! The reason the Shadow Proclamation wants his head so badly… he wants to override ALL OF CREATION! He wants to start with a clean slate… in HIS OWN IMAGE.
Slender: *tilts head in curiosity*

Me: You think that anybody who helps him now will be allowed to continue on with him? In his eyes, you're all GARBAGE! MEANS TO AN END! He'll erase EVERYTHING! I know why you help him… it's taken me this whole battle to understand… you don't want to be dependent on the ponies' fear to survive, do you? You think Nyarlathotep will make you an independent being… well, he won't. He'll exterminate the entire Equine race, this planet, and EVERY OTHER SPECIES IN THE UNIVERSE. I'm sorry… I really am… but if he succeeds, it's not just you who he'll betray… it's everyone he has managed to betray up until this point… I know, because I am one of those people… back on the home I was born on… planet Kalporos… there was a terrible drought… thousands of Kalporians died… Nyarlathotep came to me, and said he'd make Kalporos have rain again… so I helped him. I did everything he asked of me… no questions asked… and do you know what he did? DO YOU WANT TO KNOW? HE FUCKING TOLD THE SHADOW PROCLAMATION THAT THERE WERE DALEKS HIDING ON THERE! Then they ripped the planet apart… it was blown to smithereens… dust… debris… nothing else… had it not been for the Daleks I had managed to reform, I would have been a part of that… He doesn't care about any wishes you have… he doesn't want to help you… what he wants is his own personal gain...

Slender: *makes a mute gasp, and then shakes his head in a 'no' manner repeatedly*

Me: *turns to him* I know it's a lot to take in all at once, but… I beg of you… don't do this… don't make the same mistake I did... we could use your help… the whole universe is in danger… *reaches out hand* Please…

Slender: … *smacks my hand, and attacks again*

Me: NO! *jumps into air, and turns into a sparrow, flying around and then turning into a python, constricting Slender*

Slender: *dissolves into mist and disappears*

Me: *turns back to human form* DAMNIT! *slams hand onto floor Why… why won't he listen… *tears slowly stream down my face* I just don't want it to happen again… not again… *tears stream down my face, and I openly sob*

*door bursts open, Daleks moving about, securing the room*

Dalek Drone: ROOM CLEAR! ONLY THE MASTER IS PRESENT!

Drone 2: WHERE IS THE SLENDER?

Drone 3: SLENDER HAS DISAPPEARED! IT HAS RETURNED TO THE PLANET BELOW!

Drone 1: IT INTENDS TO REPORT BACK TO NYARLATHOTEP FOR FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS!

Drone 2: What are our orders, master SD?

Me: *sniffles, then stands up* This has gone on long enough. As soon as minimal system functions are online, we move out. Alert all other Daleks that their efforts should be concentrated on the restoration of the Caesar.

Drones 1, 2, and 3: WE OBEY!

Suddenly, a large tentacle came all the way out from the wall on the other side of the room right at him. Swimming Dalek jumped right over it before it could hit him and flipped over right as another one right above it came out at him, barely missing them both.

"OH COME ON!" Swimming Dalek yelled out at Slenderpony. "I can do this with my eyes closed! No, wait!" Swimming Dalek yelled as he jumped up into the air out of the way of another tentacle, and as he landed he suddenly transformed into a xenomorph. "I don't need them!" Thankfully his multiform biology meant that he could speak any language in any form, even if it wasn't natural to the species.

Suddenly, a rather low growl like sound echoed throughout the room. Suddenly, Slenderpony appeared right in front of Swimming Dalek again. Several tentacles came out from Slenderpony and he lunched them right at Swimming Dalek, who quickly jumped out of the way of all of them before landing on the ground and jumping backwards, only for Slenderpony to suddenly appear behind him. Swimming Dalek saw this and quickly swooped under him with his tail, but that didn't work cause Slenderpony disappeared again. Swimming Dalek moved away before several more tentacles came up out from the ground right where he was standing.

He moved away from the tentacles and from where he was, jumped right up onto the wall in front of him before quickly crawling into the air duct he used to get into the room.

"Come and get me!" he shouted as he crawled in. The moment those words left his mouth, Slenderpony appeared right at the entrance to the air duct. Without even wasting a second he sent several of his tentacles into the air duct and started ripping it open, only to find nothing there.

"S̸lende͢r͝po͢ny," a voice that didn't seem to come from the room said, making Slenderpony stop what he was doing dead in his tracks. "Q͟u҉i͘t ẃa͠stin̨g̛ ͟t̀i̷mę.͏ ͞G͜et̸ bac̛k d̴o͢ẃn̡ h҉e͘ré ͏w̢h҉e̢r̢e ͠y̨o͢u'r̢e ̸n̕ee̡de̸d͟."

"Up here, dingbat," Swimming Dalek said right as Slenderpony looked up right above where the air duct was to see Swimming Dalek on the wall right above him, having crawled out of another air duct. Swimming Dalek then opened his mouth and hit Slenderpony square in the head with his extending xenomorth tongue/second mouth, only for Slenderpony to disappear the second it touched him. "GOD DAMNIT!" Swimming Dalek screamed as he jumped down from the wall and onto the floor again before transforming from a xenomorph into one of the Yautja.

With his new form, Swimming Dalek started looking, and sniffing around the room for Slenderpony.

"It's not over yet!" Swimming Dalek screamed out, only for Slenderpony to suddenly appear behind him again. However, Swimming Dalek expected this. Right as Slenderpony got out one of his tentacles and lunged it at him, Swimming Dalek stepped to the side real quick, and then grabbed the very tip of Slenderpony's tentacle. He then yanked as hard as he could, pulling Slenderpony off balance for a moment.

"RAOOOOGH!" Swimming Dalek roared at Slenderpony as he spun around and, with one fluid motion, with his ceremonial claw that all Yautja carry, he swung upwards and sliced Slenderpony upwards across the face. This caused Slenderpony to fall backwards down onto his back. Swimming Dalek kicked him away from him before he could hit the ground, and Slenderpony's body was knocked back a few feet away from him. Slowly, the world all around Swimming Dalek lost it's red hue and returned back to the way it was.

"Heh… So that's how your species works…" Swimming Dalek said as he transformed back into his human form. "You can phase out of existence as much as you want… but if you want to hit someone, you have to make the part you're fighting with become solid. Even if the rest of your tentacle is intangible, all I have to do is get the tip. And you also can't heal yourself… you can make yourself mist and all that crap, but HEALING YOURSELF is too much to ask? Well, had to draw the line somewhere."

Slenderpony's body remained motionless. He didn't make any effort to respond.

"Nothing to say?" Swimming Dalek said. "All right them, I gue-" Before Swimming Dalek could even finish that sentence, three tentacles suddenly shot up from the ground behind him, and all impaled Swimming Dalek right through the chest. "W... wha..." Swimming Dalek tried to say before one more came out and stabbed him right through the throat.

Suddenly, the red hue that was present before returned to the world, and Slenderpony's body disappeared and then reappeared right in front of Swimming Dalek, fully healed as if it had never been touched. Slenderpony held his face mere inches away from Swimming Dalek.

"yOu...." a very low.... almost growl like voice said to Swimming Dalek from seemingly the entire room. "kNoW nOtHiNg." Before Swimming Dalek could do anything else, before he could change into mist again and get out, before he could counterattack Slenderpony like he knew he could now. The skin that was Slenderpony's eyes suddenly started to glow with a greyish light, and the moment Swimming Dalek's own eyes looked right into them, all sense of what he was going to do was lost.

The more he looked into Slenderpony's eyes, he couldn't look away. Then suddenly..... he saw it, and then he felt it. Pain.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" Swimming Dalek screamed at the top of his lungs as he lost himself in the endless madness and pain that Slenderpony brought upon him. Then, Slenderpony disappeared. He disappeared from the ship and the red huge that permitted the room went with him, yet the pain remained as Swimming Dalek kept screaming. However, after a few moments, his breath didn't leave him, but he could no longer scream, rather... "Heh.... he he...... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"

Swimming Dalek has lost command of the following characters:

Swimming Dalek

Authors note: Don't worry you're not dead, but for now you've just temporarily lost control of your primary character. You'll regain control of him again, don't worry, but for right now, you just temporarily can't use him because of what's happening. You still have full control over all your other characters though, don't worry about that, but yeah, you've just lost control over one of your characters. This is a thing that might happen from now on. So be aware. :pinkiehappy:

-The hallways-

*BRP and Bronze Statue were slowly making their way towards the auxiliary generator room when they suddenly hear something.*

???: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Bronze Statue: The bloody f*cking hell was that?

BRP: I don't know, but we gotta keep moving.

*Oh, and yes side story characters, you can resume your story now. Sorry about before but yeah, you're good to go now.*

Author's Note

status: unedited

A Preview of Whats to Come

Originally I was going to use the Ponies Anthology 3 version, but I decided to go with the original cause I thought it was just a bit funnier. That, and Freakazoid was hands down the best part of my childhood EVAR!!! But yes, I believe that video paints a pretty good picture of the direction this story will be going in from here on out. I hope you're all ready for it. :pinkiehappy:

Now here is the actual preview of what is to come. Enjoy.

Fillies and gentlecolts, for those of you who do not know who I am, I am Risen Flag, a senator from Canterlot and a concerned citizen of this beautiful nation of Equestria. I, much like yourselves, enjoy the carefree privileges and freedoms that we are afforded by our law-giving goddesses, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, but there are those not content with this. In the past few months, we have seen an advancement in our lifestyles thanks to the newfound technologies that are being mass-produced, giving jobs to the jobless, and most importantly, bringing about an age of enlightenment to this nation. However, again, there are those filled with such malcontent and ill willed thoughts to this idea, to this notion that they have decided to take up arms against us, but then again, you have not heard of this, correct.

For some time now, there has been an insurgency brewing within the borders of our fair nation, an insurgency led by a group of ponies that wish to destroy our way of life. The disappearance of ponies around Canterlot and Ponyville, the sabotage of several installations developing new technology and the bombing of advanced hospitals and town centers across this nation. This group, up until now has been led by a mysterious figure lurking behind a vast and almost unending cascade of ponies willing to die for this cause. However, as of this morning, I have been made aware of the identity of these insurgents, of these pseudo-revolutionaries that wish to bring about our destruction.

...

...

...

Death is the only punishment suitable for traitors and is the fate that will befall all of these revolutionists that desire to end our way of life.

...

...

...

May the goddesses save Equestria.

May the goddesses bless Equestria.

Well, I hope you enjoyed this semi-early Christmas present from me. You all deserve it for being the greatest fans any author could ask for. Ooh, and before I forget, don't forget to check out this blog post because it is also part of your Christmas present. I hope you like your gifts.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY

Author's Note

Status: Unedtied

Get Over It

Hello ladies, gentlemen, and those of unspecified gender, it's RazortheAwesome here again. You know, I was reading through some of your comments and the questions that some of you have asked me for the Ask Any Character Anything blog (which if you haven't checked out you should cause it closes on Wednesday), and I noticed something. Apparently, not many of you actually know how to pronounce Risen Flagg's true name, Nyarlathotep.

This is fine. Nyarlathotep is part of H.P. Lovecraft's Cthulhu mythos after all, where many of the great old ones and outer gods have really weird names like that. Actually, if I'm remembering correctly, I think their actual names are supposed to be incomprehensible to humans. I know that's the case with Cthulhu. So yeah, in retrospect, it does make sense that many of you would not know how to pronounce his name.

Since he is going to be appearing a lot though, I thought I'd take a quick moment to show you how his name is pronounced, just to clear up the confusion.

Are we clear on that? Good. Okay, his name is pronounced like this.

Nai-Are-Laa-Tho-Tep

Say it with me now.

Nai-Are-Laa-Tho-Tep

NaiAreLaaThoTep

Nyarlathotep

I hope that clears up any of the confusion that some of you may have had on how to pronounce his name. Now back to the story.

Warning:

This chapter contains excessive use of the word 'f*ck'. Sensitive viewers should read this chapter anyway cause hey, at least I am bothering to censor it.

Nyarlathotep, she actually said those words. Twilight knew about him. How did she know? Now you can understand how desperate she was, she was grasping at straws to stop an incomprehensible evil. You think you can actually totally forgive her now since you are willing to do just about anything to make this monster go away.

If you are going to be facing him, you really need to safeguard your mind. The Outer God's can read your mind, and they can make you insane just by looking at them. Use Latin to set up firewalls in your mind protecting your sanity, and blocking your thoughts from others. Also, give yourself the calmness of mind of a Shaolin Monk, you can't panic right now.

If you see Pinkie Pie, simply touch her head and transfer all that transpired at the tree house directly into her, just like how the Doctor does. It may give you a headache though. Tell her she has to be ready by tomorrow.

Also, allow yourself to see the darkness of individuals. If you don't see Risen Flagg, look for his cohorts, the pale pony and the blue one. Maybe they have something to hide. Try reading their thoughts if you can.

Hmmm lets see,,, Alright Jason here is what you do for now take a walk around town and muse over the fact that you may be going up against an outer god from H.P. Lovecraft. Try not to worry too much stress really doesn't help the body at all.

traverse the everfree forest, find some voracious monster, cast a silence spell, then a kill spell, cast a spell to cook mat, you haven't had it in forever
or : head home boop lyra and go to your happyplace, screw the day

Try to think of a way of how Twilight would know that name, it could help in some way.

:rainbowderp:shit:pinkiecrazy:

Welp, Jason. You've just discovered something rather interesting- you are now, officially, one of the most boned people in the history of both human AND ponykind. :trixieshiftright: You might not want to admit it, but you have to look at facts, Jason, or you could die, and take your friends with you.

It's very possible that an Outer God- something that could f*ck up a thousand warriors, easy- is hunting you down. I can't even imagine the stuff going on in your mind right now. So, you know what you should do? That's right: GET HI- No, no, don't do that. Somehow, I get the feeling that purposefully dulling your senses in the midst of the most dangerous thing... ever... might not be a good idea.

Still, though, you need to calm your titties down, boy. :moustache: Sure, Outer Gods are scary as hell- probably scarier, actually- but that doesn't mean you can't win. Plenty of people have beaten someone far stronger than them, either through careful planning, indomitable courage, or just dumb-s*it luck. So just calm down, and think of how you could win this. I suggest taking a walk while thinking things over. Maybe get something to drink. Like beer, or bourbon, or cid- NO. :twilightangry2: ...Just... do calm things. Think calm thoughts. Smile. Be happy and sh*t, I dunno. If that doesn't work, you could try training your abilities more. Getting better at combat might make you feel a bit better about a possible fight in the future. Alternatively, you could just cast a Latin spell of calmness upon yourself. That's surely the easiest and most certain route to it.

Just be sure to not get TOO calm. There's a difference between 'calm' and 'unconcerned.' Some people, in an effort to escape their troubled thoughts, will block out the things causing it. Don't do that. I'm sure I don't need to tell you this, but ignoring them doesn't make evil clown ponies from hell go away. Be calm, but diligent. Do what all smart people do when they foresee trouble: think it through.

You've read Lovecraft, and you've fought Haypennywise- you know some of what to expect. Haypennywise had very varied attacks, so maybe you should train yourself to react to various high-speed situations. Can't some Outer Gods mess with your mind? Maybe you should put up some kind of mind protection spell. Stuff like that. Prepare for anything you can think of. You'll need all the preparation you can. Remember that mental preparation is important preparation, too. Think of all the possible situations. "What if ______ happens to ______?" "If _______ ________'s ____, I should ______." Stuff like that. Anything could happen, and you need to be ready for it all.

Lastly, since you've pretty much told your friends all they need to know, and you can't do much other than what I recommended above, I recommend checking on your other friends. It's unlikely anything happened in the short time you were gone, but still. Check on them, and check on the barrier to the house, too. Tell them what's going on, too, if you think it's right.
Other than that, just stay sharp. Something could happen at a moment's notice, and you can't be caught by surprise. I realize this is a lot for someone who'd never been in any kind of real combat before, but you'll have to make do. Believe it or not, because of your powers, you could be Equestria's best hope of survival. Assuming this thing wants to dominate Equestria, which it probably does. You're a goddamn superhero, for crap's sake. F*ck the Green Lantern, the Dovahkiin, Superman, and all the other superheroes. Your powers far outclass theirs, because, with just a few words, you could HAVE their powers, and more! This Outer God might be a "supreme being," and is certainly stronger than you, but I'll be damned if you're helpless with all that power! You might be inexperienced, but your powers are overpowered as HELL. If you just get some good training under your belt, you could EASILY wipe the floor with damn near ANY superhero in ANY comic! How's THAT for confidence?! :rainbowdetermined2:

Jason... hang a left, find an alleyway, lean against the wall, and:

Well, if all else fails, start singing Freddy the Red-Brained Mi Go.

You were right. Shit is about to go down.

So, in a nutshell, your up against an Evil Outer god, who, to your dismay, every pony loves, and your only lead for answers is Discord, who is supposed to know your Grandpa. In a helicopter. You're not sure if your Latin enchantment on Rainbow Dash is going to work on a type of invisibility that's probably made to be undetected by said outer god threat. You know that's how your Grandpa kept himself hidden all this time. Y'know, now it isn't all that hard to believe that that Pennywise the Clown pony parody actually exists.

The thought didn't sit well with you, but your inner Doctor Who, due to his experience with crazy inter-dimensional dilemna, eases panic somewhat, if barely keeping you from reaching unhealthy levels.

Of course, let's get started with the "doing stuff" shindig. Your inner Batman urges you to go into "Detective Mode". You now know your enemy, his reputation, and an idea how his operations are viewed by the public. You're going to need specifics. Ask around. Maybe use your powers on figuring out how the mares viewed Risen Flagg. Seriously, by the way the mare's eyes gleam thinking about him, you'd think he'd set a controlled heat spell on himself. Yes, it's impolite to look into a ladies mind, but this is an emergency.

Ask where he lives, what did he do; stuff to refine your bearings on his appearances and presence. His arrival in town is getting Ponyville stirred up. Ponies would likely be in the mood to talk about him. Try and get an idea on who the two ponies he was with are. Who knows? You could get another lead.

No.... no no...... no no no no no...........

...

...

...

...

...

...

No......

......

Maybe a little bit.......

.... No.

OH HELL THE F*CK NO!!!

No, Rarity did not just say that name. It's impossible, there is no way she could have possibly known that name so she couldn't have said it out loud.

'Well, lets just say that every scrap of writing those two ever put to paper, every tiny detail was accurate and well... Lets just say, not entirely entirely works of the imagination,' you hear the voice of Silas echo through your head. No.... no no no. No way in all hell was he telling the truth. No.... just no.

'They spent years turning over every corner of the globe huntin down every horror they could find and sendin' them to the howlin' abyss where they belonged.' No.... no no.... No. No, Silas was out of his goddamned mind, not a word he said could have been true.

Your inner Doctor tries to calm you down, since he sees stuff like this all the time, but it's not working, not even close to working. You didn't even realize this as Silas' words rang through your head again, and again, but you had unknowingly walked around the side of the tree house.... library.... tree library... WHATEVER!!!

'I said that your great-grandfather went on many missions himself. You really thought that they'd be limited to just this world?' Suddenly after walking a little more than halfway around, your vision becomes white for a moment, and you start to hear your own heartbeat, and.... you're not.... breathing......

Suddenly you become light headed and unconsciously fall to your knees. You barely managed to regain your senses enough to hold yourself up with your hands before falling over and leaning against the tree.

'Cult of followers, deep ones, mortal servants, we killed plenty of these sure, but the Great Old Ones, they're immortal lad. They're from a plane of existence we can't even begin to imagine lad. The mere concept of mortality is a joke to them.' You open your mouth to try to speak, but nothing comes out.

"It......... It can't......" you somehow manage to force out of your mouth. "It can-" Before you can even finish that though, you suddenly get hit in the head by... something, which knocks you right into the tree.

"OW JESUS F*CK!" you scream as you clutch your head in your hands.

"PULL YOURSELF TO-F*CKING-GETHER YOU F*CKING IDIOT!!!!!!" a very loud, very high pitch, very bubblegummy like voice suddenly screams at you. Wait, you know that voice. With your head still in your hands, you turn around to see..... Ghost Pinkie Pie.... and she looks..... well, for lack of a better word, PISSED!!!!

The look she's giving you could rip apart an adamantium skeleton like it's tissue paper, if you had an adamantium skeleton that is. Although, it occurs to you that maybe with your newfound powers you could give yourself an adamantium skeleton but-

"DON'T CHANGE THE F*CKING SUBJECT!!!!" Ghost Pinkie Pie suddenly screams at you.

"Ah, o-" you say but then you cut yourself off.... wait, did she just read your thoughts? How did

"WHERE THE F*CK HAVE YOU F*CKING BEEN!?" Ghost Pinkie Pie suddenly screams at you again. "I'M A CELESTIA DAMN FIGMENT OF YOUR CELESTIA DAMN IMAGINATION! OF COURSE I CAN READ YOUR THOUGHTS! I AM YOUR THOUGHTS!!!"

That really doesn't make you feel any-

"QUIT TRYING TO DODGE THE SUBJECT AND LOOK AT ME!"

"Wait, wha-"

"LOOK AT ME!!!" Ghost Pinkie Pie screams at you before you can even finish the next word. Thinking it's best not to question or anger the insane figment of your imagination, you shut your mouth and clear your head just to be safe, and turn all your attention to the floating pink pony ghost in front of you. You also take your hands off your head. Suddenly it stopped hurting now.

Ghost Pinkie Pie kept staring at you right in the eyes with that 'IMA TEAR YOU APART' look, but didn't say anything for several moments.... and several moments longer later.... still nothing... and still nothing... and still

"STOP THINKING!!!!" She shouts, and at that you clear your head. "Ahem," she coughs, presumably to... okay, just to make sure she's not gonna snap at you again, you're not gonna finish that thought. "Good, you're learning." She says to you. "Anyway, as I was saying. PULL YOURSELF TO-F*CKING-GETHER JASON!" She screams at you loud enough so that if she were real the whole town would have heard it. "SO WHAT IF THAT BIG OUTER F*CKING ABOMINATION EXCUSE FOR A GOD NYAR........ NEYAR..... HOWEVER YOU SAY HIS NAME-"

I just explained that at the beginning of this chapter.

"SHUT UP RAZOR I'M TALKING!!!"

Okay fine jeez.

"Anyway, HOWEVER YOU SAY HIS NAME IS HERE!? SO WHAT IF YOUR GREAT GRANDPAPPY USED TO FIGHT HIM AND MONSTERS LIKE HIM BEFORE!? SO WHAT IF HE IS SOME KIND OF GOD!? SO F*CKING WHAT!?" Wow, seeing ghost Pinkie Pie like this, you only hope that the real Pinkie Pie is nothing li- "SHUT UP! BUT YES, SO F*CKING WHAT!? IS THAT YOUR EXCUSE FOR RUNNING OUT OF THE LIBRARY AND ALMOST COLLAPSING FROM A PANIC ATTACK RIGHT OUTSIDE IT!?" Wait, you weren't having a- "YES YOU WERE SHUT UP!" Then, suddenly, at that, Ghost Pinkie Pie stops for a moment and takes in a breath, and then exhales loudly. "Look, I get it. You got beat up, you almost got killed, by a monster you thought wasn't real no less, and now you just learned that other monsters might be real and it's freaking you out, but you know what else." Ghost Pinkie Pie says as she moves in so close to you that you could feel her breath on you if she was real. "YOU HAVE F*CKING SUPERPOWERS RIGHT NOW!?" You want to- WAIT, you're stopping right here. "YOU HAVE THE POWER TO DO ANYTHING YOU F*CKING WANT RIGHT NOW, EVEN CELESTIA WOULD BE JEALOUS OF YOUR POWERS! SERIOUSLY! F*CK SUPERMAN, F*CK THE DOVAHKIIN, F*CK GREEN LANTERN, F*CK DARKSEID, AND LOKI, AND THANOS, AND F*CK SPAWN! WHAT YOU HAVE FAR OUTCLASSES ANY OF WHAT THEY CAN DO! AND YES, I KNOW WHO ALL THOSE ARE! FIGMENT OF YOUR IMAGINATION REMEMBER!" Sh- No... not this time. "SURE NYARLATH MAY BE AN OUTER GOD OR WHATEVER THE F*CK THAT IS AND SURE HE MIGHT BE F*CKING STRONG, BUT F*CK YOU IF YOU ARE USELESS WITH ALL THAT POWER! WITH A BIT OF TRAINING YOU COULD WIPE THE FLOOR WITH ANY CHARACTER OR PERSON YOU COULD NAME, SO WHAT DOES THIS NYEAAAHTHALOTEP THINK HE HAS!?" At that, she stops again and keeps her eyes locked on you. You don't say a damned word. You failed to notice this during her rant, but you also sat down against the tree while all this was going on. Suddenly, Ghost Pinkie Pie lets out another sigh.

"Jason, do you know what real men do when they get kicked in the teeth? And yes, I did just say men, not stallions, because I know you are a man, not a pony, but f*ck that. What do real men do when they get kicked in the teeth?" You still don't say a damn thing, which makes Ghost Pinkie Pie sigh rather loudly and rather annoylingly this time. "Well I can certainly tell you what they DON'T DO, and that is they don't FALL DOWN AND CRY NEXT TO A TREE LIKE A LITTLE BITCH AND TRY TO DENY EVERYTHING!!! YOU KNOW WHAT REAL MEN DO WHEN THEY GET KICKED IN THE TEETH!? THEY GET THE F*CK BACK UP, AND KICK THE F*CKERS WHO KICKED THEM BACK IN THE TEETH! THEY DON'T GO INTO DENIAL LIKE LITTLE BITCHES! IS THIS HOW YOU WANT EVERYPONY TO SEE YOU JASON!? DO YOU WANT TO BE A PANSY!? F*CK, YOU ARE THE HERO OF THIS STORY JASON, YOU ARE THE ONE WHO HAS TO SAVE EVERYPONY, AND DON'T EVEN BOTHER WITH THAT 'OH WHY ME!? WHY DO I HAVE TO SAVE EVERYONE' BULLSH*T, YOU F*CKING KNOW WHY SO DON'T EVEN BOTHER ASKING!!!! QUIT TRYING TO DENY WHAT YOU SAW WITH YOUR OWN TWO EYES, HEARD WITH YOUR OWN TWO EARS, AND PIECED TOGETHER WHAT YOU PIECED TOGETHER WITH YOUR LOGICAL BATMAN LIKE MIND! YOU KNOW IT'S ALL REAL, SO QUIT BEING A BITCH ABOUT IT! ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS ARE IN DANGER RIGHT NOW, SO QUIT BEING A BITCH, CAUSE IF YOU DO, THEY WILL ALL DIE JASON! THEY ALL WITH DIE! ALL OF THEM, YES EVEN YOU, I KNOW YOU ARE READING THIS SIDE STORY CHARACTERS A-"

Okay Pinkie, seriously, shut the f*ck up about them or I will-

"Oh............ Hehehe... Sorry Razor Bazer. That was my bad." *smiles*

EGH!!!! Whatever, just continue. It's all right, he won't remember anything you said about them.

"Okie doki loki. Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah. AHEM!..... EVERYONE AND EVERYPONY IS GOING TO DIE JASON! THEY ARE ALL GOING TO DIE! YEAH, YOU GOT BEAT UP BY A DEMONIC CLOWN, BUT NOW YOU HAVE THE POWER TO GO BACK AND KICK HIS PAINTED FLANK SO BADLY THAT HE'LL BE BEGGING FOR ANOTHER ONE! SO I AM GOING TO ASK YOU ONE MORE F*CKING TIME JASON! WHAT DOES A REAL MAN DO!?"

"Uhh....." is all you say.

"WHAT DOES A REAL MAN F*CKING DO!?"

"They.... They get back up and kick the people who kicked them back in the teeth." you reply to her.

"Good," Ghost Pinkie Pie says to you. "Now, are you a real man?" You don't even need to think about that.

"F*ck yeah I'm a real man," you say back to her.

"Really," Ghost Pinkie Pie says. "Cause from what I'm seeing right now you don't look like a real man. You're not doing what a real man would do. So, are you really a real man, Jason?"

"SHUT THE F*CK UP PINKIE PIE!" you say as you stand back up on your own two feet. "I don't need you to tell me I'm not a real man, cause I AM A REAL MAN!"

"Really, so what are you gonna f*cking do then?" Ghost Pinkie Pie asks, smirking.

"I'M GONNA KICK THAT F*CKING CLOWN AND NYARLATHOTEP RIGHT IN THE F*CKING TEETH THAT'S WHAT I'M GONNA DO!?"

"WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO!?" Pinkie Pie asks again.

"I'M GONNA KICK THEM IN THE F*CKING TEETH!?"

"WHAT ARE YOU GONNA F*CKING DO!?" Ghost Pinkie Pie screams again.

"I'M GONNA KICK THEM ALL IN THE F*CKING TEETH! THEY ARE ALL GOING DOWN!? IS THAT WHAT YOU WANNA HEAR!? IS THAT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU!?"

"Maybe it is," she says again, smirking. "Is it good enough for you."

"F*CK THE HELL YES IT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME!" You scream at her.

"YEAH!" she screams at you.

"YEAH!" You scream back at her.

"YEAH!"

"YEAH!"

"YEAH!"

"YEAH!"

"YEAH!"

"YEAH!"

"YEAH!"

"YEAH!"

"F*CK THE HELL YES!" You both scream as you smash your heads into each other, which doesn't really do anything cause well, she's a ghost figment of your imagination. Suddenly, at that, Pinkie Pie's anger suddenly drops to nothingness and you see her sniffle a little bit. Then, just as suddenly, she moves over and starts nuzzling you in the cheek with her cheek.

"I'm so proud of you Jason," Ghost Pinkie Pie says to you as she nuzzles you. It takes a few moments for you to calm down too, but as you do, you suddenly feel all the fear an anxiety you were feeling before evaporate away as well.

"Thanks," you say to your imaginary ghost friend.

"Well, my work here is done," Pinkie Pie's ghost says as she floats away from your face. "Ooh, and before I forget, don't forget to come to the party tonight, Jason."

"Don't worry, I'm not gonna forget that," you say to her.

"It's your party after all, and everypony's invited. I know the real me is looking forward to seeing you there," she says with the same smile on her face you've always known her for.

"Yeah, I know. I'll be there," is all you can say to her,

"Well, all righty then. Bye byeeeeeeeeeeeee," Ghost Pinkie Pie says as she slowly disappears. "Slow dissssooollllllllveeeeeeeeee......" and now she is gone.

That.... actually did make you feel a bit better to a degree. You're still not quite ready to believe that Nyarlathotep might be real yet, but you do know that whatever you're up against, you're ready for it. Hell, if you wanted you could BE Superman, Green Lantern, or pretty much any superhero you can think of right now if you want to. You have the power to do that.

Your inner Doctor and Batman are back to working now that your mind is calm. Your inner Doctor is working to calm your nerves a bit more with this new situation, with him being him and all, and your inner Batman is busy putting what pieces together that he can, which sadly other than what you just talked about with the mane 4 and Spike inside, really isn't much. Still, it's working, and you now know who your potential enemy is and who he is to the people of this world.

Still, that's enough rambling about that for now. You're back up off of the tree, so you walk the rest of the way around it...... and are INCREDIBLY relieved to see that nobody here noticed your incessant yelling at Ghost Pinkie Pie. So you're safe there.

"Oh thank god," you say to yourself as you walk away from the treehouse. You wonder why no one else has let though. Maybe they're still discussing things. Oh well, your role here is done.

-About an hour and a half or so later-

Alternatively, go back to Lyra and Bon Bon's house, open the door, get on the floor, and walk the dinosaur. Because that joke hasn't been beaten enough yet.

I concur with thr alternative from Tatsurou. Go home to Lyra and Bon Bon, get stoned like fuck and dance the friggin dinosaur.

Or just summon a karaoke console and sing with them both till your throats die.

You decided to take a quick walk around the two to clear your head just a bit more after that whole.... episode... you guess you could call it, and it really did help. Really, it did. You even, using both your inner Doctor and Batman to make this a little bit easier, talked to a few more of the ponies in town to see what they knew about Risen Flagg. Unfortunately, and really not surprising at all, they didn't know any more than you already did right now. Most of the ponies you talked to just said that he was some sort of senator from Canterlot and didn't know much else, and the few who actually did know anything pretty much told you what Rarity did, so really, you didn't learn anything new about him.

You did however, learn something about that blue unicorn that was with him. Her name was Trixie, and the pony who told you this mentioned how she barely recognized her. Apparently she some kind of traveling magician who was very arrogant and had an ego larger than the sun. She stopped into Ponyville a long time ago, but ran out humiliated after Twilight Sparkle proved that she was a fraud to the whole town. She also came back later and tried to take over the whole town or something like that, but that was quickly resolved, again, but Twilight Sparkle. She ran out again after that and nopony has seen her since. Now she's working with Risen Flagg.... somehow.

Nobody knew anything about the other pony though. He was a complete stranger to them.

But yes, you did all that, and now you just got home. You walked up to Lyra and Bon Bon's house after being gone for what seems like a really friggin long time. Thankfully the barriers you set up around the house are still in place. They don't seem to be tampered with.

But yeah, you walk up and open the door.

"Hello, I'm back!" you shout once you get inside. You don't receive an answer. Neither Lyra nor Bon Bon seem to be home right now. It's roughly 4:45 so that does seem about right though.

Still, you walk inside.

You open the door.

You get on the floor.

And you WALK THE DINOSAUR!

"Open the door get on the floor,

Everybody walk the dinosaur."

You sing aloud as you do that. GOD if feels good to do this again after so f*cking long.

"Open the door get on the floor,

Everybody walk the dinosaur."

You suddenly hear another voice say, and then look to your right to see Lyra doing the dinosaur right next to you.

"Oh, hi Jason," she says while still doing it.

"Uh, hi," you say to her, slightly embarrassed.... ah f*ck it. You keep doing it, and Lyra does too.

-One Dinosaur Later-

"So where's Bon Bon?" you ask Lyra as you plop yourself on the couch. She quickly follows.

"The store she works at doesn't close till five, so she's probably just doing some last minute cleanups or something. She'll probably be home in a few minutes."

"Okay," you say. "What about you?"

"Oh, I got done early today," Lyra replied. "So I decided to come home." You're just about to ask exactly what it is she does, cause to be honest, you still don't exactly know, but you stop yourself when you realize something.

Just what in the holy hell are you gonna tell Lyra and Bon Bon?

'F*CK!!!' you scream in your head as you realize that. You were so preoccupied with your own powers and gathering information from the others that you completely forgot about Lyra and Bon Bon. What are you gonna tell them? How are they gonna react to everything that's been happening? F*ck why didn't you think of this sooner?

"Hey Lyra, I'm home!" Bon Bon shouts as she walks through the door.

"Oh, hey Bonnie," Lyra calls back as she looks over you.

"Hey Lyra," Bon Bon says as she walks towards the kitchen. "Oh, and hey Jason, what'd you do today?" she asks.

Great, now she's here too. What are you gonna tell them?

What do you do?

Hey, you know what, I just realized. I think this is the first chapter I've ever done since I started this without any YouTube links in it.

-Side Story-

AH F*CKING SH*T!!!!

-Ponyville-

-Somewhere in Town-

To Braeburn and Strongheart
*The two operatives combed through Ponyville looking for The Doctor. Although, his whereabouts had led through place after place like a tour. And they were running through the entire process*

BB: *Huffs and puffs for air* Strongheart! Wait up!

LS: Slow poke. *She waited for BB to come and watched him catch his breath*

BB: Geez. We have been all over town! Everypony we ask says he's only a few minutes away. It's as if he has all the time in the world!

LS: And to think we though this is a normal delivery... Well, the Director did send one of his best.

BB: You know Grey Rebl and his secret missions. They are always fishy.

LS: Okay, he bought some things from the grocery market, went to a pawn shop to redeem a fez, and bought a sofa from the Sofa and Quills. *The last store perplexed her, but continued to list the places they have been. However, she soon became apprehensive on the latest few* The Mechanical store, The Screws and Wrenches, Tabletops and stools, and a store entirely based on horseshoes? Fricken only sell horseshoes?! How do they work a decent economy or trade in this community? I'm surprised the ponies here actually buy some of this stuff.

BB: Ponyville sure is an odd town. Maybe quiet and peaceful– when it's not about invadin' ursas and parasprites infestations. Makes me wonder about Appaloosa. We work hard ta get the town workin' while this here settlement runs all on its own. Ah guess it's just its connection with weather ponies and the unicorns. And the drug use and probably did somethin'. Ah don't know.

LS: Hey, didn't Granny Smith live in the days when Ponyville first started?

BB: Eyep. The Apple Family are always tryin' to find land to settle in back in those days. Still am today, if you see how recent Appaloosa is. *He smiled proudly* In fact, Appaloosa is the only town whose name is dedicated to the apples there. Think about it! Ya ever heard of another town with "Apple" on the name? Ah don't thinks so! We even use APPLES as effective weapons for landsakes!

LS: Braeburn! We are talking about Ponyville.

BB: *Sheepish grin* Oh, sorry. Granny Smith: She's as odd as the town. Hay, the way she makes her Zap Apple jams is unique. Do you have any idea how old she is? The one the last grannies in the family! Ah'm sure AJ is going to live a life kinda like hers. Maybe better! *He suddenly thought for a second* Come to think of it, everywhere AJ and her friends go, something happens. I wonder if being the Elements of Harmony is a curse itself.

LS: Hmm. I wonder why there isn't an operation here in Ponyville.

BB: Like the AIA? Yeah, Ah guess that makes me wonder as well. Then again, Ah'm sure no agency is gonna handle all the paper work that comes out of every bizarre incident that happens here.

LS: *smiles a little then stops* Still, you'd think they would. This town is the home of all six Elements of Harmonies after all. Anyways, next stop: Sugarcube Corner.

BB: Oh! Ah know about that place! In the letter Applejack said that her friend Pinkie Pie works here. I heard she bakes some decent pastries.

LS: Last time we met, she danced on a stage. It would be interesting to chat with her.

BB: Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go!

*Braeburn and Little Strongheart stop by a bench after literally running through the whole town. Why they were running was beyond both of them but hey, exercise. They stop by a bench and Braeburn is huffing and puffing for air and breathing hard. Apparently he's out of breath.*

Braeburn: *Huffs and puffs for air* Strongheart! Wait up! *Sits on bench*

Little Strongheart: Slow poke. *She turns around and walks back to the bench, having run a bit past it before Braeburn fell on it*

BB: Geez. We have been all over town! Everypony we ask says he's only a few minutes away. It's as if he has all the time in the world!

LS: And to think we though this is a normal delivery... Well, the Director did send one of his best.

BB: You know Grey Rebl and his secret missions. They are always fishy.

LS: Okay, since we're just sitting here lets review what we know. He bought some things from the grocery market, went to a pawn shop to redeem a fez, and bought a sofa from the Sofa and Quills. He also at some point went to the Mechanical store, The Screws and Wrenches, Tabletops and stools, and a store entirely based on horseshoes? Seriously, they fricken only sell horseshoes?! How do they work a decent economy or trade in this community? I'm surprised the ponies here actually buy some of this stuff.

BB: Ponyville sure is an odd town. Maybe quiet and peaceful when it's not about invadin' ursas and parasprites infestations. Makes me wonder about Appaloosa. We work hard ta get the town workin' while this here settlement runs all on its own. Ah guess it's just its connection with weather ponies and the unicorns. And the drug use and probably did somethin'. Ah don't know.

LS: Hey, didn't Granny Smith live in the days when Ponyville first started?

BB: Eeyep. The Apple Family are always tryin' to find land to settle in back in those days. Still are today, if you see how recent Appaloosa is. *He smiled proudly* In fact, Appaloosa is the only town whose name is dedicated to the apples there. Think about it! Ya ever heard of another town with "Apple" on the name? Ah don't thinks so! We even use APPLES as effective weapons for landsakes!

LS: Braeburn! We are talking about Ponyville.

BB: *Sheepish grin* Oh, sorry. Granny Smith. She's as odd as the town. Hay, the way she makes her Zap Apple jams is unique. Do you have any idea how old she is? The one the last grannies in the family! Ah'm sure AJ is going to live a life kinda like hers. Maybe better! *He suddenly thought for a second* Come to think of it, everywhere AJ and her friends go, something happens. I wonder if being the Elements of Harmony is a curse itself.

LS: Hmm. I wonder why there isn't an operation here in Ponyville.

BB: Like the AIA? Yeah, Ah guess that makes me wonder as well. Then again, Ah'm sure no agency is gonna handle all the paper work that comes out of every bizarre incident that happens here, especially- *He's about to go on, but then stops there and gets a look of realization on his face.* Now that I think about it, maybe the CIA handles it. Ponyville's close enough to Canterlot that it probably falls under their jurisdiction.

LS: *Thinks about that for a second* Yeah, you're probably right. Anyways, next stop: Sugarcube Corner.

BB: Oh! Ah know about that place! In the letter Applejack said that her friend Pinkie Pie works here. I heard she bakes some decent pastries.

LS: Last time we met, she danced on a stage. It would be interesting to chat with her.

Pinkie Pie: Did somebody call me?

LS: AH!

BB: AH!

*They both nearly fall back, Braeburn actually falls out of the bench from the sudden appearance of Pinkie Pie*

PP: Oops, sorry. *giggles for a bit*

BB: Ah don't worry about it. *pulls himself up* It's not the first time Ah-

*Braeburn is suddenly cut off by Pinkie Pie's jaw dropping to the ground, then suddenly rushing up to hug him. It takes a moment, but eventually, they both recognize her.*

PP: BRAEBURN!!!!

BB: WHA-

LS: WHAT THE?..... Pinkie Pie?

*While still hugging Braeburn, Pinkie looks over and sees Little Strongheart there too.*

PP: LITTLE STRONGHEART TOO!!! *pulls her into the hug* Oh this is so super duper looper jooper hooper exciting! I didn't know you two were coming to Ponyville! When did you get here? When were gonna tell me? How many Apples did you-

BB: Well we're just visitin is all *still being hugged*, an we just got in yesterday in fact, we didn't even have time ta-

PP: Hey wait a minute? *Pinkie Pie breaks the hug and looks at Braeburn.* Weren't you here already Braeburn?

BB: What?

PP: You know? You helped me put on that reenactment of the Rocky Horror Pony Show and you crashed through my wall on a motorcycle wearing a leather bikers outfit and started singing Hot Patootie Bless My Soul.

BB: *suddenly nervous, as well as confused why she would even suggest that.* Uh.... *looks everywhere but her.* Ah don't recall.

*Little Strongheart just looks at him weird. She really has no words for that.*

PP: Really? You don't remember that?

BB: Can't say that Ah do.

PP: Ah, whatever. HEY you know what!?

BB: What?

PP: You two should TOTALLY come to my party tonight!!!!

BB: What?

LS: What?

PP: Yeah, I'm throwing it for my friend who just got out of the hospital for this "I hope this event doesn't traumatize you for life" party, as well as some new ponies, and a senator but EVERYPONY'S GONNA BE THERE! You should totally come! Oh it'll be so much fun. *Suddenly reaches into hammerspace and pulls out two pink envelopes.* Here are you invitations. Sorry I'd love to stay and talk more, cause I like talking more, but I gotta go. Got more of these to hand out. Hope to see you there. Remember. EVERYPONY EVERYPONY is gonna be there. Bye! *zips away like the Flash*

BB: Uh.....

*Braeburn looks over to Little Strongheart. She's giving him a look that he can't quite place.*

-42 seconds earlier on the other side of town-

On the surface

Kirk, on the communicator: Enterprise, Come in!

McCoy: For landsakes, man, give it up already!

Spock: I agree with the Doctor. This is the four hundred and fifty sixth time you have attempted to contact the Enterprise in the last two hours.

Kirk: *sighs* You're right. I hope they're alright up there. *stares dramatically towards the sky*

*a minute or so later*

Gordon: *cough, cough* Uhhh, Sir?

*Kirk continues staring*

Gordon: If you're waiting for a scene change, it ain't gonna happen.

Kirk: Huh?

Gordon: Nevermind.

Zecora: Are we just going to stand here like imbeciles? Or does the sky wish for a battle of wills?

Kirk: What were we doing again? *looks around the ponyville marketplace while the ponies around them give them strange glances*

Gordon: Fuck if I know.

Kirk: *In his communicator* Enterprise, Come in!

McCoy: For landsakes, man, give it up already!

Spock: I agree with the Doctor. This is the four hundred and fifty sixth time you have attempted to contact the Enterprise in the last two hours.

K: *sighs* You're right. I hope they're alright up there. *stares dramatically towards the sky*

*They walk into town a bit more*

Gordon Freebrony: *cough, cough* Uhhh, Sir? *Kirk continues staring* If you're waiting for a scene change, it ain't gonna happen.

K: Huh?

GF: Nevermind.

Zecora: Are we just going to stand here like imbeciles? Or does the sky wish for a battle of wills?

K: What were we doing again? *looks around the ponyville marketplace while the ponies around them give them strange glances*

GF: F*ck if I know.

*Suddenly, as if teleported in faster than their beaming technology, Pinkie Pie appears in front of them.*

GF: AH!

PP: Oh thanks Celestia I found you all again. Hi Zecora.

*Zecora is about to say something, but Pinkie Pie cuts her off*

PP: Sorry I don't have long to talk, I just wanted to give you guys your invitations for your party tonight.

K: What?

*Suddenly, Pinkie Pie reaches into hammerspace and pulls out five pink envelopes for all of them.*

PP: It's your Welcome to Ponyville party of course silly billy. Well technically it's also my friend's getting out of the hospital party, but you don't mind sharing a party do you? Which I'm sorry if you do, cause I know that some people do mind sharing parties and-

GF: It's all right. *Pinkie Pie stops.* We don't mind.

PP: Great, well I hope to see you all there tonight then. It's your party after all. Everypony's gonna be there. Well, I gotta go, I got more of these to hand out. Bye! *zips away like the flash again.*

M: Uh.....

S: Fascinating.

-IN SPACE!!!!!-

-The Enterprise-

-The Bridge-

On the Enterprise

Scotty: Alright! Sulu, please take 'er out of the hangar.

Sulu: Alright. I.... Oh My... Sir! The hangar door will not respond to our opening signal.

Scotty: Right. They probably still need repairs. Do scans show signs of atmosphere yet?

Random Bridge Crew Science Officer: No, sir. Though I am picking up high energy discharges from their auxiliary engine room.

Scotty: That is troubling. Keep scanning the area. In the meantime, Uhura, try to raise one of the Daleks. I want the Enterprise to fly on 'er own power again. Alternate with trying to break that jammar on the surface.

Uhura: Aye, sir.

Chekov, running onto the bridge: SIR! The Hackers and RA and BRP are in the hangar bay. Should I show them to quarters?

Scotty: No. Bring them to the Briefing Room. We need to change tactics in dealing with... well, whomever we're up against.

Chekov: Aye, Sir! *leaves, while a Security officers steps out of the turbolift, anxiety in his eyes*

Random Security Officer: SIR! Reports of a massacre in Cargo Bay Three!

Scotty: Damage Report. Now.

RSO: Thirty dead, all security. Signs of an intruder, including bloody hoofprints leading to an airlock, as well as a number of mysterious crates that are not in the ship's registry.

Scotty: Damn. Alright, I'll update the Redshirt list later. In the meantime, get the investigation started. You're the head of the team. Get me answers.

RSO: Aye, Sir.

*RSO leaves, Scotty collapses into the Captain's chair*

Scotty: What else can go wrong?

Scotty: Alright! Sulu, please take 'er out of the hangar.

Sulu: Alright. I.... Oh My... Sir! The hangar door will not respond to our opening signal.

Scotty: Right. They probably still need repairs. Do scans show signs of atmosphere yet?

Random Bridge Crew Science Officer: No, sir. Though I am picking up high energy discharges from their auxiliary engine room.

Scotty: That is troubling. Keep scanning the area. In the meantime, Uhura, try to raise one of the Daleks. I want the Enterprise to fly on 'er own power again. Alternate with trying to break that jammar on the surface. An' try to get in contact with the AIA, been a while since we've heard from 'em. If we're doin this bad up here, I can't imagine things are much better for 'im down there.

Uhura: Aye, sir.

Chekov, running onto the bridge: SIR! The Hackers and RA and BRP are in the hangar bay. Should I show them to quarters?

Scotty: No. Bring them to the Briefing Room. We need to change tactics in dealing with... well, whomever we're up against.

Chekov: Aye, Sir! *leaves, while a Security officers steps out of the turbolift, anxiety in his eyes*

Random Security Officer: SIR! Reports of a massacre in Cargo Bay Three!

Scotty: Damage Report. Now.

RSO: Thirty dead, all security. Signs of an intruder, including bloody hoofprints leading to an airlock, as well as a number of mysterious crates that are not in the ship's registry.

Scotty: Damn. Alright, I'll update the Redshirt list later. In the meantime, get the investigation started. You're the head of the team. Get me answers.

RSO: Aye, Sir.

*RSO leaves, Scotty collapses into the Captain's chair*

Scotty: What else can go wrong?

-The Hanger Bay-

R.A.: *continues having a seizure on the ground after realizing his hackers have... dun dun DUN! NAMES!* Namesnamesnamesnamesnamesnamesnames NAMES!? *R.A. shouts periodically from time to time*

Calvin: *facepalms before rummaging through the pockets of R.A. before pulling out some cookie dough and puts it in front of R.A.'s face*

*the aroma of cookie dough then enters into R.A.'s nostrils and in a split second R.A. stands right back up, grabs hold of the cookie dough, and begins sniffing it feverishly for a couple of seconds while doing it all in one fluid motion*

R.A.: AH! That's the stuff that'll put hair on your chest!

Calvin: It's only cookie dough R.A.

R.A.: Doesn't matter it still puts hair on my chest! *suddenly an actual bush of chest hair erupts from R.A.'s coat* See!

Calvin: *raises a finger to question how R.A. did that, but chooses not to ask it after realizing that he was talking to R.A.*

*Registered Anonymous falls down onto the floor and starts having some kind of seizure.*

Registered Anonymous: Namesnamesnamesnamesnamesnamesnames NAMES!?

Random Security Officer: Is he.... all right?

Slim: Oh he's fine. Trust me, you do not want to see him when he's not all right.

*Calvin facepalms before rummaging through the pockets of R.A. before pulling out some cookie dough and puts it in front of R.A.'s face. The aroma of cookie dough then enters into R.A.'s nostrils and in a split second R.A. stands right back up, grabs hold of the cookie dough, and begins sniffing it feverishly for a couple of seconds while doing it all in one fluid motion*

RA: AH! That's the stuff that'll put hair on your chest!

Calvin: It's only cookie dough R.A.

RA: Doesn't matter it still puts hair on my chest!

Steve: Yeah, sure it does.

RSO: Right.... Anyway. We-

*Suddenly, from behind them, Chekov comes out from one of the lifts and walks right over to the hackers.*

-The Dalek Flagship, The Caesar-

-The Hallways on the way towards the Auxiliary Generator Room-

*on the way to the auxiliary generator*
BS: So, have you ever heard of Raxacoricofallapatorius?
BRP: Raxawhatnow?
BS: Raxacoricofallapatorius. I don't know what exactly it is, but it's an interesting word to say.

Hallway towards auxiliary generator room
Nana: Raxacoricofallapatorius... Not in my database, but we'll discuss this later. That screaming... It's sounds like it's in pain. I know no other biological being that doesn't have a distorted voice box to scream like that that is still on this ship. Swimming Dalek. Huh? Everyone, stop!

*And they did*

Nana: Caution. An unknown entity is detected. *They tensed for a second.* Hmm... It passed us. *The group exhaled in relief* It came from the direction of the screaming, in the generator room!

BRP: Raxacoricofallapatorious: home planet of the raxacoricofallapatorians, no racial designation known. They are a calcium based life form, showed first when the slitheen family of the aforementioned race engaged the doctor in season one of the second installment of doctor who. The doctor at that time was Christopher eccleston. The companion, Rose Tyler. The slitheen are characterized by their hunting culture and warrior racial abilities. Mentioned abilities of a female raxacoricofallapatorian are poisonous gasses to be released from the mouth and a poisonous dart to be manufactured within the finger. Both may be ejected through a skin suit.
Everyone else listening over comms: What?
BRP: I had the complete collection of Doctor Who on my wrist computer.

Bronze Statue: So, have you ever heard of Raxacoricofallapatorius?

BRP: Raxawhatnow?

BS: Raxacoricofallapatorius. I don't know what exactly it is, but it's an interesting word to say.

Nana: Raxacoricofallapatorius... Not in my database, but we'll discuss this later. That screaming... It's sounds like it's in pain. No wait..... it sounds more like it's laughing.... Why? I know no other biological being that doesn't have a distorted voice box to scream like that that is still on this ship other than... Swimming Dalek. Huh? Everyone, stop!

*They all did. Neither of them moves even an inch.*

Nana: Caution. An unknown entity is detected. *They tensed for a second.* Hmm... It passed us. *The group exhaled in relief* It came from the direction of the screaming, in the generator room.

BRP: Where is it now?

Nana: Scanning...... It's gone.

BRP: What?

Nana: If I'm reading this correctly, it appears to have left the ship?

BS: Why would it do that?

BRP: Who cares, lets just get to the generator room and get it back online. We'll worry about that once we can start breathing again.

BS: Okay I gotcha.

BRP: Right, oh and I've heard of Raxacoricofallapatorious. It's home planet of the raxacoricofallapatorians, no racial designation known. They are a calcium based life form, showed first when the slitheen family of the aforementioned race engaged the doctor in season one of the second installment of doctor who. The doctor at that time was Christopher Eccleston. The companion, Rose Tyler. The slitheen are characterized by their hunting culture and warrior racial abilities. Mentioned abilities of a female raxacoricofallapatorian are poisonous gasses to be released from the mouth and a poisonous dart to be manufactured within the finger. Both may be ejected through a skin suit.

BS: FINALLY SOMEONE ELSE WHO ACTUALLY LIKES DOCTOR WHO!!!

BRP: For the f*ck mothering win.

Nana: F*ck mothering?

Hugh: Don't ask. It's just a stupid human phrase.

Nana: Oh... all right then.

Author's Note

Status: edited

Author Status: Tired

Strange, I've never seen them act like that before

Bronze Statue, in this, Daedeltheus is the second most powerful being in the universe (a co-writer[sort of]) an as such, can GM all he pleases. Razor gets the final word as he is the all powerful WRITER GOD OF JUSTICE.

But what are the chances of that happening? Sheesh. I'd say it's infinitely improbable for something like that to happen. It's like finding the answer to life, the universe, and everything. It just doesn't happen.

i'd say that its infinitely improbable... and the answer is 42.

What? How is that THE answer?

you were doing so well. Then you failed.

:facehoof:
No, No, No. You failed. Because Deep thought said that you have to know the question to understand the answer. Now, what is the question?

But we still know that the answer to the question is 42. Whether we know the question or not, we know that the answer is now considered a universal constant. The question was on one of my videography tests though. The answer to a question was 1942, which was not one of the multiple choice answers. The correct test answer was none of the above. We were discussing it one day before the test, and none of us knew the answer, so I said 42 and the teacher said that it was actually right. If I can find the test I will post the question. It was probably the question about when the standardization of public television broadcasting was initialized. An important and momentous occasion in our worlds development.

You were doing so well.

Then you failed.

The correct question, which the massive supercomputer that was so advanced organic life itself became part of it's matrix was created to determine, is: "What do you get when you multiply six by nine" If you did not know this, you prove that you have not read the six-book trilogy, and thus you have failed.

That was the product of random character generation. It was simply chance that allowed it to form properly functioning words for so long. That would never come out with the true question. Also, the proper question is now impossible to attain because of 3 things.
1: the earth was destroyed 5 minutes before read-out, leaving only Arthur Dent working on the problem without the other billions of ancillary components required for proper computation.
2: the mice had already been tweaking the system, changing human development so that any question produced would have been corrupted by their tampering.
3: because other alien species had visited Earth, abducting people and messing with things, the program would have been corrupted by their inclusion and interactions as well.

In the multiverse, the true critical moment of read-out was in that classroom when the question was asked, then answered, then discussed. This has revealed that the true meaning of life is the proper broadcasting of television programs to the universe at a minimum standardized level- namely 30 frames per second and 525 lines per frame.

As long as that was the right question. It may have been the invention of recording and permanent storage equipment...

NUMBER THREE IS FALSE!

It would have been messed with because of the crash-landing of all the unnecessary people from some planet in space. The phone-cleaners and the telemarketers and their ilk. Not from aliens tampering. The aliens became modern humans and killed off the ones that would have evolved via accidental introduction of viruses.

As for that, personally I think that the discovery of the true meaning of life would give us a grasp at the universe's true nature, which in turn would cause the universe to simultaneously implode and be reborn as something even more complicated and insane than it is now. Then again, some have theorized that this has already happened.

By all that is holy unholy and in between could both of you PLEASE JUST SHUT THE F*CK UP!!!

IN THE BEGINNING GOD CREATED THE UNIVERSE! THIS HAS MADE A LOT OF PEOPLE VERY ANGRY AND HAS BEEN WIDELY REGARDED AS A BAD MOVE! THEN THOSE IDIOT MICE MADE DEEP THOUGHT IN ORDER TO CALCULATE THE ANSWER TO LIFE THE UNIVERSE AND EVERYTHING! AND DEEP THOUGH GAVE THE ANSWER 42 CAUSE IT DIDN'T KNOW WHAT THE QUESTION WAS!

THE FACT THAT PINKIE PIE VISTED KIRK AND HIS BUNCH 42 SECONDS BEFORE VISITING BRAEBURN AND LITTLE STRONGHEART WAS JUST A CLEVER REFERENCE I MADE SOLELY FOR HUMOROUS PURPOSES! SO PLEASE, JUST PLEASE! SHUT THE F*CK UP AND STOP ARGUING ABOUT IT!!!

Are we done with that? Good. Lets get back to our show.

(Actual Author's note: I'm not actually mad at either of you guys at all. I just saw what you were doing in the comments and thought it was too good to pass up. So yeah. Don't worry about a thing. :pinkiehappy:

Also just another quick reminder. There isn't going to be an update Friday because I'll be answering the questions from the Ask Any Character Anything blog. Questions close today so yeah. If you have any last minute ones, go now cause I'm not taking any more after today. Side story authors, I'll send you your questions after this chapter goes out via PMs.)

Also Before I forget. HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!!!!!! :pinkiehappy: I was gonna do something special for you all, but I figured you'd all want a new chapter more given all the delays. Well here you go. Enjoy.

Jason, first ask them about what the craziest thing to ever happen in their lives. After hearing them tell about the craziness that's an everyday thing in Ponyville - which explains why nopony blinked an eye at the things that were happening when Twilight first summoned you - tell them something like that is happening, but its a bit more serious and a bit more dangerous. Something that can threaten all worlds is trying to do something, and it's apparently your job to stop it. Basically, give them as much truth as they can handle without scaring the road apples out of them.

this. Use the most intense/insane/sanity-rending Ponyville event as a baseline, and don't go more than, say, 150% that level at the most.

Anyways, try to break it to them subtly, don't just flat out say, "I have superpowers now and there's going to be this elder god who will kill us all if I can't stop it", That won't be a good idea.

So now that you have some time with your two housemates it's time that you three catch up. After all, you have yet to explain yourself to them. You don't need to be afraid. They're your friends and they live in this crazy town longer than you, so what's to worry? Oh, and Lyra might ask of you how you powers work.

You... After thinking about it for little more than half a second, you realize that you don't need to hide anything from them. They're your friends, probably your only real best friends here. They have as much of a right to know as the others. Still...

"You might wanna take a seat Bon Bon," you say to her. "This is gonna take a while to explain." At that Bon Bon just gives you a worried look, as does Lyra. You suppose you can't really blame them though, everything was just fine when you walked in the door. Bon Bon doesn't really say anything as she walks back over to you, drops her things on the coffee table and hops up onto the couch. She sits there for a few moments without saying a word, and neither does Lyra. You look back and forth between them for a moment to see that both of their eyes are on you. You guess you're gonna have to start this.

You let out a loud sigh and try to think of the best way to start a conversation like this.

"Look," you finally say. "What's the craziest thing that's ever happened to either of you?" you ask them. They don't really give an answer right away. Bon Bon puts a hoof to her chin while Lyra looks at the ceiling for a moment.

"Well....." Bon Bon began. "There was that one time when we had a parasprite infestation and they started eating all the buildings."

"Or that one time Pinkie Pie cloned herself and her clones ran rampant around the town for a little while," Lyra adds.

"Or that one time when Trixie came back and took over the town for a little while," Bon Bon adds. You remember hearing about that from another pony earlier.

"Or that one time a changeling impersonated me to try crash Shining Armor and Princess Caedence's wedding," Lyra says.

"Or that one time Nightmare moon returned the night of the summer sun celebration," Bon Bon adds again.

"Or the time when Discord came back and tried to turn Equestria into a world of pure chaos," Lyra says.

"Thank Celestia Twilight and the others reformed him," Bon Bon adds. "Oh, and there-"

"Yeah yeah, I get it," you say with a wave of your hand to make her stop. Christ, this town was already insane enough before you even got here. Now that you think of it though that kind of does explain why no one here batted an eye when you suddenly appeared. Much weirder things have happened. Hell, maybe this isn't the first time Twilight went mad like that. Still.... how to tell them now? "Okay," you begin again. You stop for a moment though to try and come up with the correct words. "Lets just say, something like that is happening to me right now, but only a lot more serious and possibly even more dangerous." At that, the two of them freeze for a moment.

"Jason," Bon Bon says, suddenly worried. "What were you doing today?"

Alright Jason here is what you do: Tell them you learned some new things today, some good... some bad... some strangely neutral, but leave it as vague as possible.

"Well," you reply. "I guess you could say that I learned some new things. Some good, some bad, and some strangely neutral, but..." You stop at that, and it's at this point that your mind starts to draw a blank on what exactly you want to say to them. Do you really wanna tell them that an outer god that you thought was fictional is here and is trying to kill you?

Before your mind can wander any farther on that, your thoughts are distracted by Lyra reaching over and grabbing your right hand with her hoof before putting her other one on top of it.

"Jason," she says with an extremely worried look on her face. "If something is happening, please... tell us." That... that look.... she really is worried about you. "After what you showed us in the hospital we...." she stopped after that, like something was lodged up in her throat preventing her from saying what she had to. You looked over to Bon Bon, she had the same worried look as Lyra. That... was all you needed to see. You take in one more deep breath, god this is going to be painful to tell them.

"I think something here in Equestria wants me dead," you say to them. You wanted to break it to them gently but... something like this.... that's borderline impossible to do. Both Lyra and Bon Bon have noticeable looks of shock on their faces, which you pretty much expected. "The demonic clown thing that I showed you back at the hospital, I don't think it's alone, in fact, I think there might be something much, much stronger than it here, and I don't think it has the best intentions for me or this world."

"Jason..." Bon Bon says worriedly. "What are you talking about?" At that, you can't help but sigh again. You consider showing them your thoughts again like you did at the hospital to speed this up, but after what you showed them last time, you don't really think that they'll be in the mood for that again.

"This is going to take a while to explain," you reply.

-One incredibly long explanation of everything you talked back in the library-

"So in short," you tell them. "I need to find my great grandfather because if there is anybody out there who knows anything about how to stop this guy, it's him, and this Discord guys is the only lead I have, so we're going to Canterlot tomorrow." Both Lyra and Bon Bon just stare at you slack jawed, like they don't even believed a word you just said. To be fair though, if someone said this to you, you'd probably have the same reaction.

"Jason..." Bon Bon says. "I.... I...."

"There were other humans in Equestria all this time," Lyra says aloud. "And I-"

"One other human," you correct her. "Possibly two. Nyarlathotep is....." God it still hurts you to say that name aloud. "Something else entirely."

"Wait wait wait," Bon Bon says, putting her hooves up. "You still have those superpowers right, can't you just use those to defeat him? I mean, we saw what you did."

"Yeah, and how do those even work exactly?" Lyra asks. "It's not like any magic I've ever seen."

JASON! Here is my message to you… say a Latin phrase that will make you equal to Nyarlathotep: "Non potest laedere me immortals" That means 'no immortal can harm me'. It'll make things MUCH easier for you. Try to keep it active as long as you can.

"Yeah, I still have them," you say to them. "But remember my great grandfather also has these powers, and he had a whole group of followers who also knew how to do this, and they still couldn't defeat him." You already had loads of ideas about how you could use these powers to defeat Risen Flagg while you were messing with them, but then your inner Batman and Doctor reminded you, if much more experienced men than you had these powers, why couldn't they have defeated them? "But yes I do still have them, in fact I've been experimenting with them all day. As for how they work.... it's complicated, I really don't know how to explain it myself, but it's not like any form of magic I've seen you ponies use. As far as I understand, all I have to do is think of something, say a corresponding phrase in latin, and I can make it happen."

"So it was you that made it rain earlier," Lyra says as she brings her hoof to her chin.

"Lyra don't be ridiculous," Bon Bon says. "I mean, yes he does have some form of magic now, but he's not a pegasus, he can't-"

"Yeah, that was me," you say before Bon Bon even finishes her sentence, which causes her jaw to drop yet again.

"Wait, really!" Lyra bursts out. "I mean I was... I I I..." You can't help but chuckle a bit at that and pat Lyra on the head, she seems to like that.

"ARG look, that's beside the point right now," Bon Bon bursts out as she moves in a bit closer to you. "You said you all were going to Canterlot tomorrow to talk to Celestia? Do...." she pauses for a moment at that. The look on her face suggests that she is unsure of what she wants to say. "Do you want us to come with you?"

"Yeah," Lyra says, her former seriousness back again. "I mean, we can help if you need us to, we-"

"No," you say before either of them can finish, which causes both of their jaws to drop again. In all honesty, you have been thinking about this, in fact, you've been thinking about this ever since you first walked through the door and realized you hadn't told them anything. About whether or not they could help you.... "Do either of you..." you begin. "Look, do either of you have any relatives outside of Ponyville?" Before either of them can say anything, you also add. "Ones that wouldn't mind letting you stay for a while." At that, both of them go silent again. They don't really seem to be thinking about this at all, in fact, it seems like that is the last thing they wanna think about.

"Well...." Bon Bon says. "There is my cousin in Trottingham?"

"That's great," you say before she can say anymore. "Do you think you can-"

"Woah woah wait a second, hold up," Lyra suddenly interjects. "You want us to leave?" It takes you a few seconds to answer that.

"Yes," you say to them. "Preferably tomorrow, when we all leave for Canterlot."

"Why? Lyra asks, a mixture of both confusion and worry in her voice. "I mean, we could help you, we could-" she's stopped again by your hand on her head petting her again.

"Look," you say to them. "I'm not going to lie to you. I have a really bad feeling about what's coming, sh*t's about to go down, I know it is, and well, to be completely honest.... I'm scared." It takes you a few moments to speak again after that. "I'm scared as hell right now. I have no idea what I'm up against or what I'll find, and.... I'm just scared all right. Sh*t's about to hit the fan, I know it is, and...." The next words get caught up in your throat a bit, but you manage to force them out. "I don't want to two of you to get caught up in the crossfire." Neither of them say anything to you for a few moments after that, but then Bon Bon inches forward a bit more and droops her forelegs over your leg.

"But why?" she asks. "You'll take the elements of harmony into battle with you but not us, why?" At that, you just let out another breath again and put your other hand on her head, petting her too.

"Because you're my friends," you say to them. "And I don't wanna see you get hurt."

"But what about-" Bon Bon is about to ask, but you know what she's gonna say.

"Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Spike," you say. "Yeah, I can call them my friends I guess, but they're not like you guys." You say as you pet them both. "To be completely honest here, if something happened to them, yeah I'd feel bad for it, but it'd probably wouldn't bother me enough to keep me from going on, but if something happened to either of you because of what we're getting ourselves into, I.... I just wouldn't forgive myself." You tell them. That is true, yeah they were your friends, but Lyra and Bon Bon did more for you than any of them combined. You would feel like sh*t if you lost either of them. "So please, for me." You say again to them. "Tomorrow, just try get out of Ponyville for a few days." Neither of them say anything at that, but you don't expect them too. It's a lot to ask for after all.

"Wha... what about the party?" Lyra asks. "Pinkie Pie's party for you tonight. Can we still go to that?" At that, you just can't help but smile.

"Yeah," you say. "Yeah we can still go to that."

"I...." Bon Bon begins. "I have some things I have to do." Right as she says that, she gets up off of the couch and walks over into the kitchen. Lyra gets up and leaves without saying anything a few moments later, leaving you by yourself again.

That was a hard thing to sit though, but you're glad you did it. You really don't want anything to happen to them.

Jason: Once you tell Lyra and Bon-bon about what's going on, find out as much as you possibly can about Risen Flag/Nyarlathotep. Newspaper articles, books, birth certificates, everything. Odds are you'll find some skeletons in his closet. Use your powers to speed-read if you have to. If you can't find something in Ponyville today, try again tomorrow in Canterlot. If you still can't find, say, a birth certificate or something like that, or if there's nothing before a certain date, take note of that. It might be important.

The thought occurs to you to try and look more into Risen Flagg... a bit you purposefully neglected to mention to either Lyra or Bon Bon. If they knew that the ultimate evil you were talking about was right here in the town with them, who knows how they'd react. As much as you want to look up more information on him though, you know that there's really nothing more you'll find here. You've pretty much gotten all the information you can. You'll see what you can get when you get to Canterlot tomorrow though.

Be reminded of the time when the Party starts. It's not something you wanna miss. Well, at least you strongly feel that way. Then again, knowing Pinkie Pie and her parties, that's a definite. What time is it again? You have been out meandering through Ponyville for a while. Clear your head for now though Jason, and maybe get some food.

With nothing else to do though, you pull out the party invitation that Pinkie Pie left for you and open it up. You probably don't even need to read it to know that it's at Sugarcube Corner again, but you do need to know when it starts. So, you open up the hand.... hoof, made card and read it.

Jason's Getting out of the Hospital/Hope this Event Doesn't Traumatize You For Life and Welcome New Ponies to Ponyville Party

Sugarcube Corner

7:30 pm

Be Thereeeerrrrereererererereeeeerrrrrrrrrererereeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeererererereeeeeeeee

OH GOD DAMNED THAT WAS ALMOST ANOTHER WHOLE CHAPTER WITHOUT A YOUTUBE LINK!!!

You can't help but laugh a little bit at that last part. So that party's at 7:30. That's great.

You look up at the clock on the wall, it's 5:50 right now. So you've got some time to kill before the party starts.

What do you do?

Wilford Brimley needs to be included.

Yeeeeessssss.

Ask and ye shall receive.

This is one of my favorite stories

Ah thank you. :twilightsmile:

Hearing that makes me feel all tingly inside

-Side Story-

-Ponyville-

-One Side of Town-

-Ponyville-
GF: So... uhhh, Party Time?

McC: It would certainly help with the stress levels we've been having.

Z: A perty by Pinkie Pie is one you surely don't want to miss, unless regrets your older self wants to kiss.

S: It would be illogical to ignore the invitation, as it would arouse suspicion upon our group.

K: Alright. We'll go. In the mean time, scout the area. I want us split up, Spock, you're with me. McCoy, Zecora, go with Gordon. Meet me in town square an hour before the party. I want eyes out for anything strange. Especially something that could block communications.

All: Got it.

*Kirk looks at the invitation given to him by the strange, pink, party pony for a moment before putting it in his pocket.*

Gordon Freebrony: So... uhhh, Party Time?

McCoy: It would certainly help with the stress levels we've been having.

Zecora: A party by Pinkie Pie is one you surely don't want to miss, unless regrets your older self wants to kiss.

Spock: It would be illogical to ignore the invitation, as it would arouse suspicion upon our group.

Kirk: Alright. We'll go. In the mean time, scout the area. I want us split up, Spock, you're with me. McCoy, Zecora, go with Gordon. Meet me in town square an hour before the party. I want eyes out for anything strange. Especially something that could block communications.

All: Got it.

-The Other Side of Town-

+Ponyville+

*The two partners in security and secrets trotted side by side, thinking about what had just happened as they stared at their invitation*

Braeburn: Was it just me, or is Pinkie a lot wackier than the last time we met. I always thought she is more of the silly type, not bluntly insane!

Strongheart: Probably high on something. Did you see how fast she went? She said there's a party about "trauma" What's that about? Something you ponies do that I don't know?

BB: Believe me, ah have no idea. Say, didn't she say everypony is going to be there?

SH: Yeah. Why?

BB: *grins widely* What are the chances that that Doctor pony is going to show in that party?

SH: *smiles* It would save us time. Do you have your glasses? We are going to need the gadgets if we are going to be looking in a crowd.

BB: Eeyep. *pulls out a pair of sunglasses* Aint no operative that doesn't bring along these beauties.

SH: Good, because we are here.

*They stop and stare at the gingerbread house that holds the party. Ponies came in as they chattered on about Pinkie and Risen. Braeburn drools heavily*

BB: Golly, is that edible?

SH: Of course it isn't. ...Is it?

BB: We only have a few hours left 'till it starts. Reckon we come in and watch the door 'till we see our pony?

SH: Sounds good.

*Braeburn and Little Strongheart in security and secrets trotted side by side, thinking about what had just happened as they stared at their invitation*

Little Strongheart: So.... what was that again about you in that biker's outfit?

Braeburn: *ignoring her* Was it just me, or is Pinkie a lot wackier than the last time we met. I always thought she is more of the silly type, not bluntly insane!

LS: *Confused for a few moments, but rolls with it* Probably high on something. Did you see how fast she went? She said there's a party about "trauma" What's that about? Something you ponies do that I don't know?

BB: Believe me, ah have no idea. Say, didn't she say everypony is going to be there?

LS: Yeah. Why?

BB: *grins widely* What are the chances that that Doctor pony is going to show in that party?

LS: *smiles* It would save us time. Do you have your glasses? We are going to need the gadgets if we are going to be looking in a crowd.

BB: Eeyep. *pulls out a pair of sunglasses* Aint no operative that doesn't bring along these beauties.

LS: Good, because we are here.

*They stop and stare at the gingerbread house that holds the party. Ponies came in as they chattered on about Pinkie and Risen. Braeburn drools heavily*

BB: Golly, is that edible?

LS: Of course it isn't. ...Is it?

BB: We only have a few hours left 'till it starts. Reckon we come in and watch the door 'till we see our pony?

LS: Sounds good.

-Appaloosa-

-The AIA Headquarters-

+AIA headquarters+

*Grey Rebl trots into the isolated room where the unknown bomb is at back with more energy, but with a need to conduct some serious business*

Secretary: You're here. I heard you went to the computer lab again.

GR: The human ship is active, but Nana is still on the Dalek ship along with the beacon installment, so we're stuck with P-mailing. And that takes hours... So, I had the computer team pick up where I left off and have the data we gathered from the Dalek ship put to use. Hopefully we would be able reverse-engineer it so that we won't have this problem later. Anyways, about the bomb?

S: As you already know, it's unarmed. It's making every pony antsy and we had been pouring a lot of energy in figuring this thing out. We had discovered a few... quirks that might seem intriguing.

GR: Show me.

S: Come. The leader of the diagnostics will give the finer details.

*They walked around towards a variety of equipment and instruments with random lab ponies filing about. Beside a computer with cables plugged to some pillars surrounding the bomb was a midnight-colored unicorn mare wearing extremely geeky glasses.*

S: Head of research.

GR: Ursa. *he nods*

Ursa: 'ello.*pushes up glasses* Y'know, I'm still wondering why I was pulled from working on the Metal Gear Equine just to scan a bomb.

GR: *smile* I'm sure that you will get back on working on that.

U: Heh, I better. That thing is so close to being done.

S: Ursa, the statistics?

U: Yeah, yeah. Look at this. *points at the monitor* Thanks to newly acquired computer tech and magic scanning augmentations, we found out that this isn't your every day bomb used to blow houses. Instead of gunpowder or spell fuses, this uses chemicals that are extremely reactive. The lab tested the chemicals just recently and found out it goes to the atomic level.

GR: Atomic? I heard of this before. Wasn't this sort of thing a project back at the Los Pegasus branch of the MagiTech facility? It canceled when they found out it was too dangerous. Nuclear Fusion they call it.

S: I looked into that already. I sent them a letter yesterday via artificial dragon flame and we are still waiting for a reply.

U: I know a colleague who works there. I hadn't been able to get on contact with him for a while. *looks at bomb* And that huge hunk of metal being here isn't making my day suck less.

GR: Hmm. Strange.

U: And the scary thing is: The nuclear fusion is easy to make. The design isn't very hard to take apart. Add some magic enhancements and we get something that can mutate life in an instant.

GR: With something as big as this, I'll bet it could extend up to miles... However, we still have that case on why it's here. Is this remotely detonated?

U: Nope. Last time I checked it's only detonated by the timer attached.

S: From what I gathered, Los Pegasus is being monitored for suspicious activity by it's own Intelligence Agency and another from their neighboring city. It's confirmed that this bomb was sent from Los Pegasus.

GR: Sounds like that place is our prime suspect. Anything else?

S: I'm not sure if this is relevant, but interestingly, there had been bombings taken place there. Some most specifically hospitals.

*GR examines the bomb, processing all the information. Just what is going on on Las Pegasus?"

S: Going off topic, had you worked on the paper work laid on your desk? They had been piling up for the past few days and we needed certain things to be signed.

GR: Err...

*Flash back, a few hours ago*

GR:Fuuuuuuuuuu- *accidently spills all his coffee on the stacks of paperwork on his desk. He stared at the mess dramatically* Damn you, Riiiissseeen!!

*back to the present*

GR: Yes.

S: Good.

Happens as is.

-The Enterprise-

-Briefing Room-

-Enterprise Briefing room-
S: Alright, we need options. I've already got a message and gear to send down to the away team via a modified torpedo. There's a form of Jammar around the town, blocking all other types of communications as far as we can tell.

I want information and ideas now. Also, if you can think of anything else our away team might need, gather it now and send it down there.

Well?

*turns to hackers and RA*

Steve: *notices Chekov coming towards the group* Hello sir is there something that you need of us?

*Chekov would then lead us to the briefing room*

Steve: Um I have one question sir, since you are sending supplies down to the planet using torpedo would you mind if me and the other hackers look over your torpedo system for any possible sabotage? With all the shit going down on both the Dalek ship and your ship I think it would be wise for us to look over just about everything.

R.A.: Oh! I have a question can we also send the away team some of my cookies!? *pulls out a tray of cookies* These not only boost morale, but gives extra energy to those who eat them!

Calvin: That is called a sugar rush R.A.

R.A.: SHUT THE HELL UP CALVIN!

Calvin: ...Please just send the cookies to the away team Scotty... also could we have R.A. occupied with something till we finish looking at your computers? We prefer to not be interrupted by him when we work.

R.A.: If there is something that needs destroying I'm the guy for it!

Scotty: I doubt the cookies would survive reentry. The torpedo itself only has experimental shielding that I had to McGuiver together last-minute. I'm pretty sure our technology can handle any of the heat overspill. However, feel free to add some if you so desire. God knows they'll need morale after reading my report. As for looking at my systems, I put that thing together myself. It has self-contained guidance and propulsion, and the warhead itself has been removed. There's absolutely nothing wrong with it. IF you feel the need to doubt my abilities, go ahead. I'll have an officer take a look at it.

As for RA...

*looks over to see RA trying to hack the Enterprise's computer*

GET AWAY FROM THAT YE IDIOT! Now, I seem to have had a problem in Cargo Bay C. Woould you mind looking into it for me? AND NO DESTROYING ANYTHING withou....

Wait, I just got a better idea. You say that you want to destroy stuff?

RA: Yeeesss???

Scotty: Good. I've got absolutely nothing, and I need tyou to destroy it. It's somewhere on the ship, and you CANNOT destroy Anything on this ship besides nothing. Understand? No going through walls, no hacking, no hurting my crew, none of that. Just fnid nothing and destroy it. I've gotta whole lotta nothing, and I need it gone. What say you?

R.A.: You want me to destroy nothing? Fine I'll destroy nothing as I go check out the cargo bay, but if anything should attack me in any way shape or form I'll destroy it out of self defense. Also one final thing DON'T UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF MY COOKIES YOU IRISH BASTARD!

*R.A. then runs out the briefing room towards the cargo bay*

Steve: I know he is insane idiot Scotty, but just bear with him for now. *pats Scotty on the back* Now then lets take a look at your torpedo guidance systems and see if anyone tried putting a virus in it. *proceeds to do what he said with his other hackers*

*After a brief introduction, Chekov lead the hackers to the briefing room, where Scotty was already waiting for him. Scotty dismissed Chekov to take care of other duties while he addressed the hackers.*

Scotty: Alright, we need options. I've already got a message and gear to send down to the away team via a modified torpedo. There's a form of Jammar around the town, blocking all other types of communications as far as we can tell. I want information and ideas now. Also, if you can think of anything else our away team might need, gather it now and send it down there. Well?

*Turns to face the hackers and Registered Anonymous. Steve raises his hand first.*

Steve: Um I have one question sir, since you are sending supplies down to the planet using torpedo, would you mind if me and the other hackers look over your torpedo system for any possible sabotage? With all the shit going down on both the Dalek ship and your ship I think it would be wise for us to look over just about everything.

Registered Anonymous: Oh! I have a question can we also send the away team some of my cookies!? *pulls out a tray of cookies* These not only boost morale, but gives extra energy to those who eat them!

Calvin: That is called a sugar rush R.A.

RA: SHUT THE HELL UP CALVIN!

Doc: Good, he's actually using our names.

Calvin: ...Please just send the cookies to the away team Scotty... also could we have R.A. occupied with something till we finish looking at your computers? We prefer to not be interrupted by him when we work.

RA: If there is something that needs destroying I'm the guy for it!

Scotty: *Ignores RA* That won't be necessary. We haf our own crew lookin takin care of it. It was workin fine before we got shut down so...

*Suddenly a beeping noise is heard as his communicator goes off. He takes it out and answers.*

Scotty: What is it. This better be important.

RSO on the other end: Well... sir, you're not going to like this.

Scotty: Just tell me anyway, can't be much worse than what we've already experienced so far.

RSO: Okay...

-Slightly Earlier-

-The Cargo Bay-

RSO#1: Sir, These prints seem to suggest our... guest... left through the airlock. Record Logs show it was manually opened twice. Once outside, and once in.

RSO#2: Alright. And I take it security feeds are non-existent?

RSO#1: Yes, sir.

RSO#2: Damn. How about you, Simmons. Any luck with the crate?

RSO#3: Sir, they appear to contain.... Wow. Ummm...

RSO#2: What is it?

RS0#3: They appear to be large, mechanical spiders. sir.

RSO#2: .......... What?

RSO#4: Yo, you might wanna come take a look at this!?

*They all rush over to what he called them for.*

Crew of the Enterprise:

It would be in your best interest to check the torpedo bay. After all, you may find that the controls are severely damaged, with several major components removed as well as the torpedoes essential parts removed and ejected into the abyss of space.

*They all reach the Torpedo Bay*

RSO#1: Well f*ck.....

-The Briefing Room back in the present-

RSO: Somebody's been through the torpedo bay. Several of the controls are severely damaged and several major components appear to have been removed. Strangely enough though the torpedoes themselves are fine, but there's just no way we can launch them into space right now sir.

*Scotty's face becomes pale, and he slowly puts the communicator down on the table.*

Scotty: Do you..... I know you all just got here, but do you all think you can step outside for a moment.

Slim: If you're going to freak the hell out it's all right, trust me, we've seen much-

Scotty: Just please Ms..... please...

*Pretty much everyone except for Jim all look at Slim.*

Calvin: Ms?

*Slim suddenly gets up from her chair and walks out of the room, Jim follows her, then slowly, everyone gets up and leaves, all confused. RA skips out behind them. Then they all get outside the briefing room as the door closes behind them. With the door closed, all kinds of obscenities that no innocent ears should hear can be heard from the other side of door. The hackers just stand there like they've been through enough of this bullsh*t. All the hackers except Jim all just keep looking a slim.*

Janitor: You're a woman?

Slim: Yes. Is that a problem?

Janitor: No, not really. It's just we all.....

Slim: All what?

Janitor: We all thought you were a man.

Slim: Why would you think that?

Jim: What, you mean her giant gazoongas didn't give it away?

Steve: Wait, you knew about this?

Jim: Uh, yeah, duh.

Steve: Well if none of us knew then how could you have known unless....... *suddenly realizes* Oh my god you're a woman too aren't you?

Jim: Well, took you long enough to figure that one out.

RA: Yeah, I mean seriously, come on, how could none of you have noticed that?

*They all turn their attention to Registered Anonymous, and all simultaneously feel an immense amount of shame for the fact that Registered Anonymous could figure out something so painfully obvious that they could not.*

Jim: Man, we really need to work on our communication.

Slim: *hand gods to chin.* Communication...... He did say that there was something blocking all communication didn't he?

Jim: Yeah, why. *suddenly realizes, and smirks. Slim smirks as well.*

*Suddenly, both Slim and Jim leave start walking down the hallway, confused, the other hackers follow them.*

RA: Yay field trip!

Steve: WHY GOD!!!??? WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME!!!!!???

-The Bridge-

*All of the hackers and RA walk onto the bridge, Scotty and their escorts are nowhere to be seen.*

Slim: Okay you two. *Points to two random computer officers* Get lost, we're taking over. You *points to another.* You too.... clear out, and you *points to Uhura.* Ramirez, see what you can do about opening up a line to Bronze Statue and BRP, they're gonna need out help.

Ramirez: Yes sir, Uh, I mean mam.

Slim: Don't worry about it.

Sulu: What the hell do you think you're doing? Who do you think you are giving orders to us?

Slim: There's something blocking communications on the planet right?

Sulu: Yes... how could you have-

Slim: Your Irish friend told us, but that's not the point. I can tell you right now with 97.8% certainty that we can get through whatever it is that's jamming your little signal, but only if you let us do what we do. *There is silence for a few moments.* We're hackers, we can't work without something to hack with now can we? So you help us, and we'll help you.

Sulu: We've already found a solution to-

Jim: The torpedo bay has been wrecked if your officers are to be believed, so now, it's either this, or the silent treatment. Which is it gonna be?

*Everyone there is confused as all hell, they don't know what to think of this, they're also wondering where Scotty is.*

Jim: Me and Slim here *puts her arm around Slim* have done things you wouldn't even believe. Believe me when I say that the two of us can get through your little jamming signal problem. So I'll say it again. What's it gonna be?

-The Dalek Flagship, The Caesar-

-The Hallways-

BS: Oh, lordy! Some time when we catch a break, we should talk about stuff not related to a life-or-death situation, BRP. As it stands, I'd say that rushing in there without a plan gives us a 31.33 -repeating, of course- percent chance of survival in any state. I'd like some better odds before acting like my cousin Leeroy.
BRP: Your cousin is Leeroy Jenkins?
BS: Look, I know I say a lot of strange things that are meant in a serious manner. That was not one of them. So, options! So far, I'm thinking that either we 1: charge in like a couple of morons; 2: call for backup that may or may not actually show up; 3: sit here until the heat death of the universe or we die of boredom –whichever comes first; or 4: look at security footage of the auxiliary generator room, preferably a live feed.
Nana: And was that a serious comment or a joke?
BS: Serious. Very serious. We need a plan and possibly a weapon – or at least a certain piece of hardware in a highly auditory format, if you know what I mean.

Bronze Statue: Oh, lordy! Some time when we catch a break, we should talk about stuff not related to a life-or-death situation, BRP. As it stands, I'd say that rushing in there without a plan gives us a 31.33 -repeating, of course- percent chance of survival in any state. I'd like some better odds before acting like my cousin Leeroy.

BRP: Your cousin is Leeroy Jenkins?

BS: Look, I know I say a lot of strange things that are meant in a serious manner. That was not one of them. So, options! So far, I'm thinking that either we 1: charge in like a couple of morons; 2: call for backup that may or may not actually show up; 3: sit here until the heat death of the universe or we die of boredom –whichever comes first; or 4: look at security footage of the auxiliary generator room, preferably a live feed.

Nana: And was that a serious comment or a joke?

BS: Serious. Very serious. We need a plan and possibly a weapon, or at least a certain piece of hardware in a highly auditory format, if you know what I mean.

BRP: Ayeeeee...... Hugh, do you think you can get into the systems of the ship and see if you can find out what is going on while trying to avoid contact with the virus?

Hugh: No.

BRP: What? Why not?

Hugh: Because all the systems have been SHUT DOWN! Or did you forget that already?

BRP: Oh.... *embarrassed* Yeah, I guess I kind of did.

Nana: And it wasn't a virus that shut us down, it was that slender... pony... thing.

BRP: Right.... Agh, lets just get to the generator room so we can turn this ship back on and go back to eating cookies.

BS: Aye sir.

BRP: Aeeghhhhhh....

-The Auxiliary Generator Room-

*Swimming Dalek is on the floor in a fetal position. His form keeps changing every couple of minutes.*

Swimming Dalek: Ow... ow.... ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow... owwwaaahhhh HAHAHAHAHAHA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!

Author's Note

status: unedited

Relax, Don't Do It

Yo what's up. Just letting you know now, the next update isn't gonna be until next Monday, in fact all updates are gonna be on Mondays from now on. Why? Well look forward to an answer to that this coming week.

Jason, for the time until the party, there are three things you need to do.
One, make sure you know exactly where you need to go.
Two, make sure you're ready to go there. This includes hygiene, wardrobe, etc.
Three, RELAX. Don't take a nap or anything like that, but make sure you're completely relaxed when you make it to the party. You don't know what might happen there, and the last thing you need is accidentally blowing something up because you overreact to a harmless prank or unexpected guest.

Well, Jason.
You can't search for stuff about Risen Flagg. You already explained everything you needed to to everypony. You've trained your powers. You've braced yourself for what's coming. There really isn't too much left to do.

So chill. This will probably be the last time for a while that you can truly rest. So take this time to think about what's happened, all the crazy ponies you've met, and all the experiences you've had here. Maybe chat with Lyra and Bon Bon, if they're up for it. I mean, Jesus. What all's happened in just the past few days alone? You got attacked from demon clown pony thing, fell unconscious, and nearly immediately after waking up, you test out magical powers that you SUDDENLY got. After that, you talked to others about some REALLY heavy stuff, found out that an outer god wants you dead, had a suitably major panic attack, and talked to MORE ponies about MORE heavy stuff... I think you've earned a bit of downtime, my man. Use it well.

Also, while you're at it, slap yourself in the face for speaking of the Holy Pink Mother in such a way as to make it seem as if she was undeserving of your worship. It is by her hoof that you were given life, child. You must remember this, and never speak of her that way again. You are fortunate that her forgiveness is ever-present, my child. Now... Let us pray.

Well, since you've got some time to kill before the party. You do the one thing that since waking up in the hospital, you haven't been able to even remotely come close to doing.

You relax.

You let yourself fall back into the couch, let out a very long, very pain relieving breath that you didn't even realize you'd been holding in, and let all your muscles go limp. You even feel your head clear up completely for once. You're not thinking of Risen, or your powers, or anything that's happened in the past 24 hours. No, you're head is completely cleared and you don't even feel like you need to move even an inch.

It almost feels like you're high, but not actually high. You would know if you were, but Lyra and Bon Bon didn't break out the bong so you definitely didn't do anything with them.

You just feel relaxed.

Sub-Authors Note:
Oops. Forgot about that.

Anyway:
Jason, you've got two beautiful mares and a couple free hours. Isn't what you should do obvious?

SCRABBLE! Everypony loves scrabble!

The thought does occur to you to play some scrabble. By God how long as it been since you've played scrabble. Unfortunately, you're pretty sure that Lyra and Bon Bon don't own a copy of scrabble. Hell, you're pretty sure that scrabble doesn't exist in this world, and if it does it probably goes by a different name, and even then, you're still pretty certain that Lyra and Bon Bon don't own it.

Still, you do strike up some conversation with Lyra and Bon Bon though. You talk about mundane things like what they did during the day, whether Lyra got her license renewed or not (you're pretty sure she didn't), and the crazy thing Pinkie Pie did when she spoke to Lyra and Bon Bon just after you left for the library. God she's crazy.

Bon Bon even baked some cookies and Lyra brought out her lyre for a moment to show you two a song she's been working on. You get the feeling though that they're doing that for their own peace of mind rather than yours. You're not an idiot. You can tell what they're really feeling behind their cheerfulness and smiles. You can't really blame them at all. You did lay some pretty heavy stuff on them.

Use your inner Batman to try to come up with any possible plans and outcomes. It is always best to be as many moves ahead of your opponent as possible.

Alright lets start off with getting yourself ready for tonight, you might as well look as fashionable as hell when you go there. Try to get an equal level of swagger and classiness in your outfit alright? But you should also prepare a mental plan if for some reason you meet Risen Flagg since the invitation to Pinkie's party also includes new ponies of Ponyville as well so that is already a big red flag stating that Risen may just attend the party as well. So just be on your toes for when you do go to the party and try to keep a level head about things and you should be fine. However if he starts projecting mental images of the number of ways he could kill you it would be best to just ignore them... to the best of your ability.

Make sure you are ready for the party both physically and mentally. Shower, change, and calm yourself, you don't need to bring the party down even if you are serious inside.

Meditate like a monk (Batman knows how to do this) and calm yourself inside and out. Allow your serious thoughts to be present, but at the back of your mind. Allow yourself the mindset to enjoy this party, because it may just be one of the last happy moments you have from here on out.

Eventually, after around 45 minutes or so, you decide that it's probably about time to get ready for the party. So first thing first, you get in the shower, because you definitely DO NOT want to get there smelling like ash like you did (and really still do) when you arrived back at the library. At this point you're not even sure why you decided to set all those trees on fire or whether or not it was even worth it. Your gut is telling you that it was though so you're just gonna go with that.

While you're in the shower, you take a few moments to draw your mind back to what's going on, and indeed what you're getting yourself into later tonight. Yes, Pinkie Pie is throwing a party for you at Sugarcube Corner in a little while. However, the invitation also said that the party was also for some new ponies who arrived in town just recently. That... that has to be Risen Flagg and the other two ponies that arrived with him. Who else could it be? She might as well have just said it was for you and Risen Flagg.

You do your best to try and not let it bother you though, even though your best is barely helping. Your inner Batman is already working as hard as Batman possibly can thinking of possible plans and outcomes, and possibly even escape routes and plans as well should they be needed. Really as helpful as this is, it doesn't make you feel any easier.

Your inner Batman however, seems to realize this too, and with it's help, while still standing, you start meditating like a monk while the water falls over you. This helps clear your head again vastly.... No, really, it helps a lot. You could do this for a while if you could. However, as much as you want to, you have to stop cause well, you're crunched for time right now.

Still, with your thoughts cleared, you come to the conclusion that really, right now, you should keep a level head. Don't worry about a damn thing just yet. If something is going to happen, just be ready when it does.

Once you're out of the shower, you quickly get changed back into the swag suit that Rarity made for you a while ago. God, it feels like forever since you've worn this, but every time you do it makes you feel like a bawler boss again. God it's been ages since you've felt like a true bawler boss. If you are going to show up to this party, you definitely are gonna do it with some swag.

You look over at the time once you're done with this and notice that it's 7:15. It's time to go. You head back downstairs to see Lyra and Bon Bon talking with each other about.... something, you can't really hear what, but they stop when they see you coming down.

"You ready to go?" you ask the both of them. Neither one of them responds to you at first, and they're both giving you looks that you really can't quite place. After a moment though, you see them both smile, and unlike earlier, you can tell it's genuine.

"Yeah," Bon Bon says as she looks over to Lyra, who just looks back to her. "I guess we're ready to go."

"What about you?" Lyra asks. "You ready to go?"

Stutter the word "yeah."

"Y-...y-yeah," you stutter a bit back to them. Truth be told, you're actually kind of.... a little bit.... absolutely god damned terrified right now. Despite that though, the more you thought about everything that was coming while you were in the shower, the more you realize that what's happening is going to happen, regardless of whether or not you are there. So you might as well just go for it. "Yeah, lets go." At that, they both just smile at you.

-One short walk to Sugarcube Corner later-

One short walk to Sugarcube Corner later, you, Lyra and Bon Bon arrive at the front door to Sugarcube Corner right at 7:30 and 10 seconds sharp. The three of you stop before walking in, and Lyra and Bon Bon just look up at you for a moment. You just look back down at them and smile yourself.

"What," you say to them. "No fancy intro like last time?" Both of them couldn't help but giggle at that, especially Lyra.

"Did you want one?" Lyra asks you.

"No, not really," you reply.

"Well too bad," Lyra says as she walks up to the door and stands right next to it. "Because you're getting on anyway. Ahem!" she coughs for a moment before she... well, she tries, to stand up on her rear hooves, kind of like how you stand, closes her eyes, and holds her hoof to the door. "Shall monsieur Jason enter his par-tay?" she says in the fakest French accent EVER! Seriously, even Rarity could learn a bit from her. Both you and Bon Bon just laugh for a moment while Lyra falls back onto all four of her hooves.

"Thank you," you reply politely to Lyra. "I think I-" before you can even finish that sentence, you push open the door and...

SURPRISE!!!!!!!!!!!

Everypony shouts as just like last time, the lights turn on, confettit shoots out of nowhere, and EVERYPONY in Ponyville appears at once appears to shout a pointless surprise to you (which is pointless since if this is a surprise party why did she send YOU an invitation?). The only thing that is different this time is that the seemingly exact second every pony finishes yelling surprise, Pinkie Pie suddenly appears... seemingly from beneath the floor and blows a blower in your face, which under normal circumstances would cause you to fall over, but miraculously you don't.

"SURPRISE!!!" Pinkie Pie shouts at you with her usual enthusiasm. "Welcome to your 'Hope this Event Doesn't Traumatize you For Life Party' Jason!" Then at that, she.... surprisingly cuts herself off. Odd.... you kind of expected her to go on on some random topic like she usually does, but she doesn't.

From her, you look around at everypony again, they're all smiling at you, as if expecting you to say something. Then you look back at Pinkie Pie.

You gain the sudden urge to shout out "May the night last forever and the light fall into unending darkness, the republic shall not fall to the solar tyrant!!!" in Latin while in the presence of Princess Luna, glorious beholder of the night.
And also "May day fall into unending night, may our republic last for millennia, vivat nocte! VIVAT NOCTE NIGHT FOREVER! NIGHT FOREVER!!!"

'Well fine,' you think to yourself. 'If that's how you wanna play it.' Then at that, you spin around disco style, point your finger towards the ceiling and shout at the top of your lungs. "May the night last forever and the light fall into unending darkness, the republic shall not fall to the solar tyrant!!!" You honest to god have no idea why you shouted that, but why the hell not.

Everypony seems to take it in stride though as they all cheer for you. Then, again, seemingly out of nowhere, Pinkie reaches to her left, and pulls out three cups of punch, which she hands to you, Lyra, and Bon Bon before she zips back out into the party.

You, Lyra and Bon Bon walk out into the crowd of ponies and chat for a little bit. Many of them congratulate you on getting out of the hospital and things like that, which you politely thank for. You try to act inconspicuous, well, as inconspicuous as a human in a room full of talking ponies can, but they have none of that. This is your party after all. Still, you do start to wonder where Pinkie Pie went. During all of this, you get separated from Lyra and Bon Bon again, only to run into Applejack again.

"Oh, hey Applejack," you say to her.

"Howdy, Jason," she replies as she raises her cup of punch to you, and you take your cup against hers for cheers before you both take a drink.

"Hey um," you begin. "Sorry about-" you're about to say more, but your words suddenly die in your mouth when you look to her left and notice... two ponies you've never seen before in your life. Well, since you were here, anyway. Well, to be even more accurate, only one of them was a pony. He was definitely a stallion, you could tell that by looking at him, and the color of his coat was a creme color, but not the same creme color as Fluttershy's coat. What was odd about him though, was that he was wearing a brown leather best and a cowboy hat. Other than Applejack, you don't think you've seen anypony remotely dress like this. The other one with him was... not a pony at all, she was, and you could tell it was a she..... you guessed some kind of buffalo. Her coat was orange and she was wearing some kind of bandanna with a feather in it on her head. Like an American Indian would.

The two of them just kept staring at you with an expression like they couldn't believe what they were looking at, as if someone had just dropped an alien in the middle of the room..... oh wait.

"Oh, sorry," Applejack says as she laughs to herself a bit. "Sorry, Ah guess we're all just so used to seein yah around now Jason Ah ferget that some ponies don't even know what you are." Then at that, she walks over and puts her hoof around the stallion in the cowboy hat. "Braeburn, Little Strongheart, this here's mah friend Jason. He's a human. Think somethin kind of similar to a monkey." You don't really take any offense to that. She is right in a way. "Jason," she then says to you. "Ah'd like yah to meet my cousin Braeburn and his buffalo friend Little Strongheart." So you were right about the buffalo bit. Wait, now you remember Applejack mentioning these two earlier. You mentally slap yourself in the head for forgetting them.

"Um..." Braeburn says as he holds out his hoof. "Mighty nice to meet to make yer acquaintance."

"You too," you reply as you politely shake his hoof. While you can tell he's definitely surprised to see something like you here, and kind of nervous around you as most new ponies are, something seems different about him.

"Pleased to meet you," Little Strongheart then says as she bows her head a little bit. You can't help but smile at that.

You open your mouth to say something to them, if only to make them not so nervous around you, but before you can say anything.

"EVERYPONY QUIET!!!!" You suddenly hear Pinkie Pie as she jumps up from the crowd. Something seems... off about her. "They're coming! Quick! Places everypony!!!" Then at that, she suddenly disappears into the crowd again and everypony backs away from the front door. Just as suddenly, the lights go out. You can't help but wonder if this happened moments before you arrived.

All right! Jason, here's the plan for the party,
BE EXPECTING ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING! (is that possible?)
Pinkie's invitation said that it was a party for newcomers.
Who's to say Risen will be at the party as well?

Extra tip: When in the party, try your best to look inconspicuous, blend in with the crowd, don't draw as much attention as needed.

And then at that thought, it dawns on you just what is happening. They must have done this before you came through the door to welcome you, and there are other ponies that Pinkie is throwing this party for. They all must be getting ready to welcome them.

This is it. Any moment now, Risen Flagg is gonna walk through that front door. You've been mentally preparing all day for this (well, not really), no falling back now. You know what you're gonna do. You're just gonna keep cool, yell surprise with the other ponies, and try to keep calm and cool while they're here. If they want to start something, then you'll be ready for it.

"SHHHHH!!!!! HERE THEY COME!!!" You hear Pinkie 'quietly' shout. This is it... the moment of truth.

Right.....

N-

SURPRISE!!!!

You and everypony else shout as the lights come on to reveal............. five ponies you have never seen in your life.

They aren't Risen Flagg.... or the other two with him.... they don't even look anything remotely like them.

They're all earth ponies. One of them is yellow and had a darkish brown mane. Two of them were blue and both had really dark colored manes (one was black), and you could tell that one was obviously taller than the other. Another one of them was orange, and was the only one who had facial hair. He was also the only one whose cutiemark you could see, it was of a crowbar. Well, the only one you could see and could make out what it was. The last one of them was a zebra... and at this point you just realized that you've never even seen a zebra in this place. So this is a first for you. She wore a lot of gold jewelry and had some kind of mowhawk. She was also the only female of the group, much to your surprise. You could see her cutie mark too, but you couldn't quite make out what it was supposed to represent. It looked like some kind of sun. The other three, you couldn't see their cutie marks, but you could see the tip of one of them. It looked like some kind of triangle.

The yellow and two blue ones all had equally surprised looks on their faces, and again, Pinkie Pie appeared (from the ceiling this time) and blew the same blower in the yellow one's face as she threw more confetti out.

"SURPRISE!!!!" she shouted.

Not a one of them said anything for a few moments.... then the orange one spoke up.

"Thank you," he said to Pinkie. "It's very nice to meet you all." Then at that, the party went back into full swing, well, at the very least, full swing of what it was before.

Something was off. Where was Risen Flagg?

What do you do?

-Side Story-

-Ponyville-

-Ponyville Market, around 6:00 pm, one and a half hours before the party-

-Gordon Freebrony's group-
GF: I suddenly have the feeling that secure files are going to be hacked.

McCoy: What?

GF: Nevermind. *turns to look around the market place* So, anyone see anything unusual.

Zecora: If you would bother to listen, numbskull, you would hear the news from the horses mouth fall.

GF: Seriously, what is wrong with you and your cryp- *gibs'd by McCoy*

McCoy: What she means is shut up!

*the group is silent for a moment, listening to the conversations around them*

McCoy: Sounds like some new politician came to town. Someone by the name of 'Risen Flagg'

GF: *shivers* Huh. I don't like the sound of him for some reason. Though everyone says he's a great guy.

McCoy: I don't know. Let's keep searching.

As is.

-Just outside Sugarcube Corner, around 6:00 pm, one and a half hours before the party-

-Kirk's group-
*walking towards Sugar Cube Corner*

Kirk: So, how are you holding up with all these... ponies?

Spock: I don't understand what you mean.

Kirk: Well, if you look at that one there, you'll see she's literally levitating the newspaper she's reading.

Spock: Telekinesis is an ability that some known species have mastered through evolution. It is highly logical that this is the case.

Kirk: What about the teleportation incident we saw? For a species this... primitive?

Spock: It is simply a matter of using their telekinetic principles to transmit their bodies into streams of particles in the same way as we do through our transporters.

Kirk: Or what about this... buffalo? Alright, how do you explain a buffalo standing right here in a town populated by ponies, huh?

Strongheart: EXCUSE me?

Kirk: Uhh... I mean....

As is.

Quick Authors Note to Both Gordon Freebrony and Grey Rebl: Since the action from this point on is taking place AT the party, if the two of you want to continue this scene, then you're going to have to do it via flashback. Otherwise, try to keep the action at the present time. Aka, at the party, since that is where your characters are right now. So yeah... just letting you know.

-The Enterprise-

-Bridge-

-Bridge-
Sulu: .... Everyone stand down and step back from your posts. Let them work, but watch them. Set phasers to stun and feel free to fire the moment they do something they'll regret.

Oh, and make sure to hyper-encrypt those files, Johnson *said to random bridge officer*

Slim: Glad to see that you are seeing it our way Mr. Sulu. *sits in the chair and begins working on the systems*

Jim: And don't worry we'll avoid accidentally hacking any folders that are loaded with porn!

*all the other hackers whisper back and forth to one another still baffled by the fact that Slim and Jim are women*

*R.A. in the meantime began looking at just about every single screen, button, and doo-dad that was on the bridge to keep from being bored*

Slim: Also Sulu could you please keep and eye on R.A. He can be a bit destructive at times when around important equipment.

*continues going through the systems*

*Sulu just looks at Slim and Jim for a moment.*

Sulu: All right. Everyone stand down and step back from your posts. Let them work, but watch them. Set phasers to stun and feel free to fire the moment they do something they'll regret.

*Everyone except for the essentials, aka those flying the ship, step back from their consoles.*

Sulu: Oh, and make sure to hyper-encrypt those files, Johnson.

Johnson: Aye sir.

Slim: Glad to see that you are seeing it our way Mr. Sulu.

*Slim and Jim take seats in two consoles right next to each other.*

Jim: And don't worry we'll avoid accidentally hacking any folders that are loaded with porn.

*all the other hackers whisper back and forth to one another still baffled by the fact that Slim and Jim are women. R.A. in the meantime began looking at just about every single screen, button, and doo-dad that was on the bridge to keep from being bored*

Slim: All right, no more bullshit. Ramirez. Get back to work on getting a line to BRP and Bronze Statue. They're heading into some hot water and are gonna need our help.

Ramirez: Yes, sir... I mean, mam... I mean.

Jim: Just do it Ramirez!

*Ramiez shuts up and gets to work.*

Slim: Steve!

Steve: Yeah.

Slim: Do you think you can open up a line to the AIA. We've been out of contact with them for too long, they're gonna wanna know what's going on up here.

Jim: And since you're the one who always talks to them, they're probably gonna feel more comfortable hearing it from you.

Steve: All right, sure.

Slim: Calvin, Tommy, Janitor.

Cal, Tommy, and Janitor: Keep and eye on RA.

Tommy: What!?

Janitor: Why us?

Jim: Because the rest of us are busy.

Slim: Do it, or we'll tell your mothers what you all have in your porn folders.

Tommy:.... My mother is dead......

Slim: Then we'll show everyone whose watching TV right now what's in your porn folder.

Tommy: On it!

*They all get to work. Sulu walks up to Slim and Jim.*

Sulu: Do you really think you can get through the buzzer field?

Slim: Hard to say, but as my old man used to say. If you have a shot, take it.

Jim: And we've gotten through some pretty f*cked up locks before, it's not like we're banging bricks together or anything. Hacker type stuff. I wouldn't expect you to understand.

Sulu: But you're confident that you can do it?

Slim: If we weren't we wouldn't have asked any of you to even do this.

*They're all silent for a few moments.*

Sulu: Touche.

Slim: All right.

*Slim cracks her fingers for a moment and stretches out her wrists for a moment.*

Slim: *To Jim* You ready for this?

Jim: Do you really need to ask?

Slim: I guess not.

Jim: Well then, stop talking and lets do this.

Slim: Right.

*At that, the of them get to work. They both start typing so fast that even on the advanced consoles of the Enterprise it looks like someone hit the fast forward button on the movements of their hands. All kinds of screens pop up on their consoles, but they're gone as fast as they appear. Meanwhile, everyone else is getting to work. All kinds of computer action is going on here.*

-The Dalek Flagship, The Caesar-

-Hallways (Still)-

Bronze Statue: Are we there yet?

BRP: No.

BS: Are we there yet?

Hugh: No.

BS: Are we there yet?

Nana: No.

BS: Are we there yet?

BRP: No.

BS: Are we there yet?

Author's Note

Status: edited.

Oh, and there will be a new update schedule. More information to come later this week.

IMPORTANT PLEASE READ

I'm sorry to update this story with something like this, but yeah. Please read this. It has to do with the future of this story. So yeah... please read. It's important...

Author's Note

status: unedited

Party Hard WITH A VENGEANCE!!!!

Party Hard WITH A VENGEANCE!!!!

-Shortly before Jason arrived, but not too shortly-

Outside of Sugar Cube Corner:

Roseluck: I don't want to go.

Lily: Come on, it's a party, a Pinkie Pie Party.

Daisy: How can you deny a Three P, Roseluck?!

RL: She throws these things, what four times a week on average and it all kind of gets to be the same.

DY: Yes but this one is The BIGGEST ONE YET!

RL: You said that about the last one.

DY: Yes but this time I mean it.

LY: Come on, Roseluck, you never come to the parties anymore and spend your evenings locked in your room playing with....

RL: LA LA LA LA LA NOT LISTENING!

DY: Perhaps you'll find a stallion to scratch that itch.

RL: GODS DAMMIT DAISY!!!

LY: Come on, when was the last time you went to a Three P?

RL: The one where you snorted pegasus dust from the kitchen sink with Pinkie Pie.

LY: I'm not complaining and besides, it makes the world all the better with a little sugar in the snout.

DY: Roseluck, grin and bear it and just try to have fun for a few minutes, at least.

RL: Fine.

(Enters the door)

Pinkie Pie: Surpr...

RL: Hello, Pinkie. (keeps walking)

DY and LY: Ignore her, she's being a real sourpuss tonight.

PP: Maybe she needs some lovin' to change that attitude.

LY: I know, right.

Just outside of Sugarcube Corner, around the time of 7:25 and 47 seconds in the P.M., two ponies, Lily and Daisy were just approaching the entrance with their beige roommate Roseluck in tow.

"I don't want to go," Roseluck said in the most monotone voice she could manage to Lily and Daisy.

"Come on, Roseluck," Lily said to try and cheer her friend and roommate up. "It's a party. A Pinkie Pie party."

"Exactly," Daisy interjected. "How can you deny a Three P, Roseluck?"

"She throws these things, what three, maybe four times a week on average, and it all kind of gets to be the same," Roseluck replied. Her voice still as monotone as before.

"Maybe," Daisy said, still as chipper as ever. "But this one is the BIGGEST ONE YET!" She emphasized her point by throwing her hooves out into the air as she said that.

"You said that about the last one," Roseluck said.

"Yes," Daisy replied, her voice loosing none of it's chipperness. "But this time I mean it."

"Come on, Roseluck," Lily said as she scooted a little closer to her downer beige friend. "You never come to parties anymore, and you spend your evenings locked in your room playing with your-"

"LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA NOT LISTENING!!!!" Roseluck screamed at the top her lungs as she slapped both her forehooves over her ears while somehow still walking forward. Not an easy feat for a pony.

Lily and Daisy couldn't help but exchange looks at this.

-Flashback: An unspecified amount of time earlier-

"Sooooooooo what are we looking for again?" Lily asked Daisy as she opened Roseluck's closet.

"Anything that'll tell us exactly what Roseluck gets up to when she's not here," Daisy said as she began looking through Roseluck's bed. "Seriosuly, she disappears for days at a time and when she comes back she's a lot grumpier than she was before for some reason. Seriously, what's up with that?"

"So...." Lily said as she stopped what she was doing and turned to look at Daisy. "We're basically raiding her cupboards without her permission?"

"Eeyep," Daisy replied as she tore the sheets off or Roseluck's bed, only to find nothing. Lily just kept staring at her for a moment.

"Suck my ass you old mare," she said to Daisy before looking back in Roseluck's closet. She had a surprising amount of clothes for a pony that never wore any. Daisy ignored her for a moment before she lifted up the mattress to Roseluck's bed.... and found a red book the same color as Roseluck's hair.

"Well you can suck my ass," Daisy replied as she took the book out and let the mattress fall back down. "Cause I found her diary."

'Roseluck keeps a diary?' is what Lily WANTED to say, but instead, the words that came out of her mouth as she pulled down a shoebox from the very top shelf were, "Oh yeah, well look what I found-" The moment she started to open the shoebox, the entire thing started vibrating in her hooves. "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" was the only thing she let out as she closed it immediately. Unfortunately, her outburst made Daisy stop looking at Roseluck's diary and turn her attention to her. The absolutely mortified look on her face was priceless. "Call my therapist," Lily said to Daisy after a few long minutes of silence. "Tell her she's a rich mare." Suddenly, as if on cue, the box in her hooves started vibrating again, only at several times the frequency it was at before. "IT HAS A MIND OF IT'S OWN!!!!!!!" Lily screamed as she tried in vain to hold the shoebox as far away from her as possible.

-End Flashback-

"Perhaps you'll find a stallion to scratch that itch," Daisy said while seeming to look away from her still screaming friend. Apparently the sky was very interesting tonight.

"CELESTIA DAMNIT DAISY!!!" Roseluck screamed again. Apparently the hooves still over her ears did nothing.

"Come on," Lily interjected. "When was the last time you went to a Three P?" At that, Roseluck just gave her a deadpan look and dropped her hooves from her ears.

"The one where you snorted pegasus dust off the kitchen sink," Roseluck replied in her former deadpan voice.

"I'm not complaining," Lily said as if what Roseluck just said meant absolutely nothing. "And besides, it makes the world all the better with a little sugar in the snout."

"Look, Roseluck," Daisy said as she walked over to her friend right as they reached the entrance to Sugarcube Corner and put a hoof around her friend's neck. "Just grin, bear with it, and try to have fun for a least a few minutes, okay. For us." At that, Daisy just gave her friend the best pleading smile she could, which wasn't the best pleading smile in the world if Lily was to be believed, but still, she was trying. After a few moments though, Roseluck just let out a loud groan.

"Fine," Roseluck replied.

"Great!" Daisy said, suddenly happier than before. Even though she didn't say anything, Lily was a bit happier to hear that too. At that, the three of them walked through the doors of Sugarcube Corner, only to get jumped by Pinkie Pie who suddenly appeared out of nowhere.

"SURPR-"

"Hello, Pinkie," Roseluck just said to her in her monotone voice as she walked right past her. Pinkie just watched her with a mega confused look on her face.

"Oh, ignore her," Daisy said as she walked right up to Pinkie. "She's just being a real sourpuss tonight."

"Really?" Pinkie Pie said as she turned her head back around to look at Daisy. "Hmmm............." she let out as she brought a hoof to her chin as she went into deep though. After a few moments, a metaphorical lightbulb went off in her head. "Maybe she needs some good, hard lovin' to change that attitude."

"I know, right?" Daisy replied with a smile on her face.

-And back to the presesnt-

RL: (standing in the corner) Stupid party, why the hell did I even bother showing up to this thing? I could be out there doing something else.

???: Relax, darling, you'll have a better time of it if you do.

RL: (Turns to face a tan pegasus sitting next to her, one she noticed but never bothered to talk to when she took her spot there, wearing a vest and black tie with a well-groomed mane. She looked down at his cutie mark, two crossed corinthian columns and a drafting pencil down the center)

???: Have some fun, darling, won't you?

RL: (looking into the red-wine eyes of the stallion)

Even though the surprises for both Jason and the newcomers had been made and the party was already in full swing. Roseluck had not cheered up at all in the last bit since she walked through the door as she stood in a corner of the room watching everypony dance and visit. She didn't even have a drink in her hooves.

"Stupid party," she said to herself as her hoof moved to kick something that wasn't there. "Why the tartarus did I even bother showing up to this thing? I could be out there doing something else?"

"Relax, darling," another, smooth, deeper voice suddenly said out of nowhere. "You'll have a better time if you do." Roseluck looked to her right only to face a tan pegasus with a black, well groomed mane standing right next to her. One she noticed but really never bothered to talk to before. He was wearing a best and a black tie that went well with his well groomed mane. His cutie mark, which were of two crossed corinthian columns and a drafting pencil down the center of them. "Have some fun, darling, won't you?" the stallion said to her.

The moment those words hit her ears, Roseluck's attention was immediately drawn back to his red-wine colored eyes. After what seemed like forever staring into them. She couldn't help but squee.

+Ponyville, Sugarcube corner+
Little Strongheart: One of those THOSE guys are down here?! I thought the AIA had first contacted.
Braeburn: Ah know this doesn't make, but hey, this is Ponyville we are talking about.
Little Strongheart: But about the CIA? If what you said earlier is true, then what had THEY been hiding all this time? Equestria had made first contact with our knowing.
Braeburn: Maybe they did tell. Remember the Director? He had been actin' mighty sour when it came to bringin' us our assignment. Especially when he told us about Risen.
Little Strongheart: Okay, we know that the Head of the AIA is hiding something. How about we ask about it to that human later? Right now, though, we need to focus on a delivery of ours.

*They popped up their sunglasses, and upon wearing them, their vision altered completely. A heads-up-display came to view, and the world turned green. Outlines of ponies became more coherent. The buffalo pulled out a picture of the Doctor, uttered a command, and the glasses scanned the image. It downloaded, and now they can start their search.*

LS: Look around, we already know every pony in town is in this party.
BB: Ah hope we could get this over with. This had been one big chase all day.
LS: Let's split up and move. These aren't X-rays anyways.
BB: 'Kay.

*And so, the split*

Elsewhere in the party, Braeburn and Little Strongheart were still standing where they were, both absolutely gobsmacked at the fact that they just saw another human at this party. Of all the things they expected to find here, this was not one of them. After a few moments, Little Strongheart finally broke the silence.

"One of THOSE guys are down here!? I thought the AIA had first contact."

"So did Ah," Braeburn replied. After a few moments, he shook his head out to clear up his thoughts a bit before he turned back to Strongheart. "Okay. Ah know this don't make much sense, but hey, this IS Ponyville we're talkin' about."

"But what about the CIA?" Little Strongheart replied, suddenly curious. "If what you said earlier is true, then what have they been hiding from us all this time? Equestria has made first contact without us knowing."

"Maybe they did tell," Braeburn replied as he brought a hoof to his chin. "Remember the Director? He'd been actin' mighty sour when it came to bringin' us our assignment. Especially when he told us about that Risen Flagg fella." Little Strongheart thought about that for a moment, then took a deep breath and got herself calm again.

"Okay," she said. "We know the head of the AIA is hiding something. We know that the CIA is probably hiding something too. So how about we ask that human about it later? Right now, we need to focus on this delivery of ours." At that, Little Strongheart reached into her bag and pulled out a pair of sunglasses. Braeburn just let out a smirk at her before he reached under his hat and pulled out a pair of his own. As they covered his eyes, his vision changed completely. A heads up display came into view in his vision as the world seemingly changed to green and the outlines of the ponies became more coherent.

"Look around," Little Strongheart said to Braeburn, now back in mission mode. "We already know that everypony in this town is at this party."

"Ah hope we can get this over with," Braeburn said as she scratched his head. "This has been one big chase all day."

"Lets split up and move then," Strongheart replied. "These aren't X-rays after all."

"Kay," was all Braeburn could reply to her. Then at that, the two of them split up and made their way into the crowd of ponies. After all, they did still have a mission to accomplish.

Kirk: *at the party, nursing a black eye and explaining what happened.* So anyway, there I was trying to understand what it is that has Spock not blowing a gasket at these ponies when we pass by that buffalo over there, Little Strongheart, and I say: "

Elsewhere, on the other side of the party, more towards the front door, four humans from Starfleet disguised as ponies with the aid of perception filters and one Zebra were looking at situation they now found themselves in.

"Fascinating," Spock said as he looked around at what these ponies had managed to put together. This was a society of equines and while still primitive compared to what they had, it was amazing to him that they could throw together something like this. Bones on the other hand.... hoof, couldn't help but roll his eyes at that.

"So......" Gordron Freebrony, the orange pony with the crowbar cutie mark said to Captain James Tiberius Kirk, the yellow pony. "You were saying?"

"Right," Kirk said as she rubbed a hoof against his head, as if it hurt, which it did. "So anyway, where I was trying to understand what it is that has Spock not blowing a gasket at these ponies when we pass by this buffalo and I say-"

-Just a little over an hour earlier, but not too much-

*initiate Flashback*
Kirk: Or what about this... buffalo? Alright, how do you explain a buffalo standing right here in a town populated by ponies, huh?
Strongheart: EXCUSE me?
Kirk: *Mistaking Spock for saying that somehow* That one walking over to us! How do you explain an animal such as that to be walking and, seemingly talking to other ponies?

"Or what about this... buffalo?" James T. Kirk said to Spock as the two of them were walking towards Sugarcube Corner. "Alright, how do you explain a buffalo standing right here in a town populated by ponies, huh?"

"EXCUSE ME!?" Little Strongheart exclaimed, apparently she heard that.

"That one walking over to us," Kirk continued, apparently under the impression that Spock had said that somehow. "How do you explain an animal such as that walking and.... seemingly talking to other ponies?"

Sidestory:
*flash back*

Braeburn: Er, Little Strongheart? Are we goin' in or not?
Little Strongheart: That stallion just called me an "animal"!
Braeburn: Ah'm sure he is one of those ponies from remote places who know nothin'. He prob' didn't meant it.
Little Strongheart: Oh I'm sure your sure, but I'm going to teach him some MANNERS.

*In a blink of an eye, she ran up to him and jumped, contract her hind legs, and extend her kicking leg as she twisted in mid-air. It was spot on as her hoof sunk deep into Kirk's eye. Deep. He FLEW. The stallion skid through the ground a few feet. The pain didn't come to him, but he laid there wondering what just happened.*

LS: Racist!

At that, Little Strongheart looked as if she had blown a fuse. Probably because she had. She looked so angry that she could probably destroy all of Ponyville right now if she wanted to.

"Er, Little Strongheart," Braeburn said kind of nervously to her partner. "Are we goin' in or not?"

"That stallion just called me an animal!" Strongheart yelled back at Braeburn.

"Ah'm sure he's just one of those ponies from remote places who know nothin'." Braeburn said to Strongheart, still a bit nervous. "He probably didn't mean it."

"Oh, I'm sure you're sure," Little Strongheart said, not at all sounding like she was getting any calmer. "But I'm going to teach him some MANNERS!!!" Then, suddenly, in what seemed like the blink of an eye, Little Strongheart ran up to James T. Kirk, jumped, contracted her hind legs, and extended her kicking leg as she twisted in mid air. She hit Kirk spot on with her hoof to his face, and he FLEW. Kirk flew so far he skidded through the ground a few feet. The pain didn't come to him immediately, but he just lay there on the ground wondering what just happened. "Racist!" Little Strongheart shouted at Kirk.

PONY KOMBAT - James Tiberius Kirk vs Braeburn and Little Strongheart

Drunken Lullabies by Flogging Molly

(Author's note: Originally I was going to type this all out, but I decided not to because really, I wasn't going to change it at all anyway. So to save me the trouble of writing this all out again and you the trouble of reading it twice, I'm just going to leave it as is and let you read it as presented. They fought the whole fight through anyway, so it's not like I need to do anything to it at this point. Good job gentlemen.)

Kirk: *sits for a minute on the ground* Ow.... * a moment further* Right, my turn. *attempts to double fist punch her, but Breaburn rams him to the side.*

Breaburn: That's MAH girl! Keep your hooves of her.

Spock: Captain, it is illogical to continue this. I suggest ceasing immediately.

Kirk: Aw, hell no. *races to attack them again*

(There will only be a few superficial injuries above Kirk's bruised eye, keep that in mind)

Braeburn: Ya really had to do that Strongheart?! Now we are both in trouble.
Little Strongheart: Appaloosa before didn't treat us right before and even then they had good reasons, but THIS isn't acceptable!
BB: But—
LS: He's coming!

*Strongheart side step Kirk's charge and attempt to jab him in the head, but he is ready this time. He block the hoof and push it aside, following it up with a punch toward the face. She lean and step backwards and let it pass to the side of her head. Right when the hoof retract away, she jabbed Kirks forehead, flinching him, and hop to the side to prepare to power slam him with her fore hooves.*

You love action? I do.

Spock: CAPTAIN! I highly suggest you desist in your-

*Kirk ignores Spock, running back into the fray. It pretty much dissolves into one of those cartoony dust clouds with hooves or a head sometimes sticking out*

*A moment later the cloud settles and it shows LS and BB above Kirk*

Kirk: Look, as much as I am into the ladies, I ask for at least a nice date before we get to this point.

LS *disgusted and blushing*: Why you....

LS: You are SO dead!

*Braeburn pulled her back by her tail before she could continue*

BB: Shhrong Hearf, fhis fright ish over!

LS: No way! He's not going to get away with it!

???: Braeburn?

BB: *Looks to the side and his jaw loosen in surprise* AJ?!

*With Braeburn distracted at that moment, Strongheart rush back in. Kirk stood at a fighting stance, ready. And, beginning round two, the angry buffalo did the first punch.*

LS: You racist little scum! You've insulted my heritage, and now you tell me THAT?!

She was fast and furious. It was hard for Kirk to counter and block without leaving himself open, even then, her strikes overpowered his attempts to protect himself. He was nicked several times on the face, and his arms are getting tired from the blows, eventually though, he saw an opportunity and he took it.*

BB: Strongheart!

*Kirk smirked smugly when he made a solid hit, but it was wiped from his face and turned into a grimace as Strongheart endured it and did an upper cut to the jaw. She followed a second hit with a chop to the head. It connect. Kirk held up his arms to his side to block the third, but Strongheart saw this in foresight and jinxed him, moving her hoof away and kept his eyes on it all the while keeping her momentum. She used her other hoof on his blindside and aimed for the growing black eye on his swollen face. When it connect, she sticked to it and DRIVED her strength into it.

The spaceman practically turned around and almost fell to the ground as his legs were staggering. She rectified this by performing a curb stomp on to the back of his head, eager to dig him to the ground.

She stood their with her hooves still on him for minute*

LS: NOW do you get that you don't get all high and mighty over us buffalo?!?!

Kirk: Ugghhh.... *bucks LS off of him, before staggering to his feet*

LS:*smacks Kirk to the ground, getting ready to pummel him some more*

Spock: *Sighs, walks over and Vulcan neck pinches LS. She promptly collapses* Captain, it's best we leave now. It seems your 'charms,' as you call them, did not work.

Kirk: Yeah, you're right.

*they walk away*

*cue end flashback, which was written previously*

LS: Grr... Why can't I move?
BB: Woah! How did he—
AJ: Mind explainin' ta me what's just happened?
LS: THAT stallion who just left called me an animal! *Her eyes tears up in frustration
AJ: *in a soft, sympathetic voice* Ah get you were upset about you insecurities, being outside of ya tribe, but ya should know better than to not cause commotion. C'mon, there's a party from Pinkie about to start, Ahm sure it'll make ya feel a little better.
BB: 'Sides, I hear Pinkies parties are the best!
LS: *sigh* Okay... But I need a little help, I can't move for some reason.
BB: Ah think he pulled a pressure point on your spinal cord. Scary thing, it is. Help me carry her other side, AJ.
AJ: Okay.
*end of flash back*

-And fast forward to present.... again-

-Pinkie's Party-
Kirk: ... and so I 'learned' the lesson of speciesism from a talking, fighting buffalo.

GF: That's deep bro. *a few moments of silence* I just noticed, isn't that the human that we came down to help in the first place?
*points to Jason*

Spock: Him being the only human in the vicinity marks him as the logical choice.

GF: LET'S GO TALK TO HM!

*walks off towards Jason*

McCoy: This won't end well. Gordon! Get back here.

*the rest of the away team follow Gordon*

"And so I 'learned' the lesson of speciesism from a talking, fighting buffalo," Kirk ended his tale as he kept his hoof on his head to nurse the throbbing headache he still had. Thankfully, any and all injuries he had sustained during his encounter had pretty much healed, so he looked pretty much fine. That could have been mostly the fault of the perception filter, but for the most part he looked fine.

"That's deep bro," Gordon said, but none of them responded to him. They all stood there for a few moments in silence as they looked out into the crowd of ponies before them. Suddenly, Gordon saw him first, a human standing amongst the ponies. "Captain."

"Yes," Kirk replied to acknowledge him.

"Isn't that the human we came down here to help in the first place?" Gordon asked as he pointed a hoof towards the only human at the party, Jason Morgan.

"Him being the only human in the vicinity marks him as the logical choice," Spock said in his usual manner as he noticed Jason as well.

"Well lets go talk to him then!" Gordon shouted as he took off and ran through the sea of Technicolor ponies towards Jason. Bones, again, could only let out the loudest sigh he possibly could.

"This won't end well," he said to himself before he took off too. "Gordon! Get back here!"

-Kirk's encounter of the feminine kind-
Kirk:*finishes his story and walks away as GF and the rest wander off into the party* *as he's walking he hears a conversation contining between a tan earth pony stallion wearing one of those Safari hats and an elegant white mare with a purple, extravagantly styled mane, both seemed to be tipsy.

Rarity: Let's Go somewhere...
Safari Hat Guy (SHG): Yeah. It is a bit noisy. There's a lovely little cafe around the corner...
Rarity: I was thinking Madahoovesar
SHG: Is that a new club on Dean Street?
Rarity: No, no. It's a country... off the shore of Equestria.
SHG: Oh. That Madahoovesar. Right *removes hat* Let's go!
*Waits for a second*
By Celestia's teeth, you're serious!
Rarity: *Nods*
SHG: Well...that's...an extraordinary proposition. But...I can't just up and go. What about my job?
Rarity: Quit. We can always find a new one when get back.
SHG: I can't just...what about my house? Who would feed my dog?
Rarity: Bring him with.
SHG: He's a Griffonian Shephard. He'd feel all out of place in Madahoovesar.
Rarity: *scowls*
Kirk: *snags a drink, chugs it, then walks over with another one in his hand* You don't want to go to Madahoovesar. I'm James Kirk. Captain of the Enterprise. Of course, you probably didn't know that. I'm here to explore the galaxy. Wanna see my spaceship?
Rarity: *swoons, getting up and walking off with Kirk*
SHG: *holding hat in hooves* but I was gonna say yes.... *walks off morose*
-Meanwhile, with the characters people actually care about-
SHG:I HEARD THAT!
*crowbar appears out of thin air and whacks SHG hard enough that he gets knocked under a table and into unconsciousness. No one notices*
-Ahem-
Rarity: That must have been one of the lamest, most out there pick up lines I have ever heard.
Kirk: And that's the only thing that's lame with me... *eyebrow wiggle*
Rarity: *giggles* I do hope so. You're certainly a forward one. I assume that's why you've got such a rough look right now.
Kirk: Oh, but the ladies like it rough.
Rarity: Oh stop, Mr. Kirk.
Kirk: You won't be saying that in a few minutes.
*Intermission where Razor can take over from here, since I'm the LAST person on the planet to be expected to write anything close to good flirting. The best I can do is fall just short of the lowest acceptable level. Cheesy*

Kirk was about to go and follow Gordon, Bones, and the rest of his team through the party towards Jason, when suddenly he couldn't help but overhear a conversation between two nearby ponies. He turned and looked to see that one was a tan colored earth pony stallion wearing one of those safari hats, and his cutie mark was.... of a towel...... That wasn't important though. What WAS important, was that the other pony he was talking to was elegant white mare with a purple, extravagantly styled mane, with three diamonds on her rump.

"Lets go somewhere," Rarity said to the safari hat pony in a rather suggestive tone.

"Yeah. It is a bit noisy," the safari hat pony replied to Rarity in a British accent. "There's a lovely little cafe around the corner..."

"I was thinking Madahoovesar," Rarity said right as he finished that sentence.

"Is that a new club on Dean Street?" The safari hat pony asked, as if confused.

"No," Rarity replied seeming more intrigued now, "No. It's a country... off the shore of Equestria."

"Oh. That Madahoovesar," the safari hat pony replied, suddenly understanding. "Right," he said as he took off his safari hat, spun it around, and then put it back on his head. "Let's go!" The two of them stood there for a few moments in relative silence. Neither one of them said anything. "By Celestia's teeth, you're serious." The safari hat pony said when he realized that she was, in fact, serious. Rarity nodded to confirm her seriousness. "Well...that's...an extraordinary proposition," the safari hat pony then said, sounding more than a little nervous. "But...I can't just up and go. What about my job?"

"Quit," Rarity replied straight up. "We can always find a new one when get back."

"I can't just...what about my house? Who would feed my dog?" The safari hat pony then said.

"Bring him with," Rarity said.

"He's a Griffonian Shephard. He'd feel all out of place in Madahoovesar." The safari hat pony then said. Rarity couldn't help but scowl at that. This pony was being a bit more difficult than she though he'd be.

Kirk on the other hand... hoof, just smirked to himself and made his way over to the two ponies, or to be more specific, towards the one pony that was a mare.

"You don't want to go to Madahoovesar," he said in his smoothest voice possible, which made Rarity tear her attention away from the safari hat pony and towards him. "Hi. I'm James Kirk. Captain of the Enterprise," he said to her. "Of course, you probably didn't know that. I'm here to explore the galaxy. Wanna see my spaceship?"

Rarity looked this strange, new, stallion that she had never seen before up and down for a moment. However, after a few moments, she suddenly swooned, and started walking away from the safari hat pony and with Kirk through the crowd of ponies.

"But I was gonna say..... yes...." the safari hat pony shouted at Rarity. She ignored him.

"That must have been one of the lamest, most out there pick up lines I have ever heard." Rarity said as she made her way through the party with James Tiberius Kirk.

"And that's the only thing that's lame with me..." Kirk replied to her, wiggling his eyebrows as he did. Rarity couldn't help but giggle at that.

"I do hope so," Rarity said, seeming more and more intrigued by the minute with this strange, new, stallion. "You are certainly a forward one. I assume that's why you've got such a rough look right now."

"Oh, but the ladies like it rough." Kirk replied with the same look on his face that he always carried.

"Oh stop, Mr. Kirk," Rarity replied to him with a wave of her hoof and a bit of a blush on her cheeks.

"You won't be saying that in a few minutes," Kirk said. At that, the blush on Rarity's face seemed to go from a simple little flame to a RAGING INFERNO!

'Oh my,' she couldn't help but think to herself. 'You certainly aren't like other ponies, are you Mr. Kirk.' Time seemed to slow to a crawl for the two of them for a couple moments. It looked as if something was about to happen. Rarity seemed to like it, Kirk DEFINITELY seemed to like it, but before it could, a deus ex machina got in the way.

"HiremembermeI'mPinkiePieIknowthatitwouldbeneattoseethishappenbutthisisateenstoryandwecan'thavesomethinglikethishappeninastorylikethisandweneedRaritylatersohowabouttryingdsomecakeandsomepunchohandyouabsolutelyhavetomeetLittleStronghearthere!?" Pinkie Pie said as she in what seemed like all in one move, appeared, handed Kirk some cake and punch, and pulled over Little Strongheart, who seemed to be in the middle of something.

Kirk on the other hoof, was still busy trying to figure out what the hell just happened.

At one look at him, Little Strongheart lifted up her shades, saw Kirk's face, and then squinted her eyes as far as she could.

"You...." she said in the most deadly voice she possibly could.

"Little Strongheart," Rarity said, as if delighted to meet and old friend. "Darling, it's been ages. You know this pony?" She asked as she turned back to Kirk.

"Captain," Bones suddenly said as she snuck up behind Kirk.

"Will you excuse me for a moment ladies," Kirk suddenly said as he slid (quite literally in fact), away from seemingly certain death to talk to Bones.

"What?" Kirk whispered to him rather angrily.

"Sir, what the hell are you doing?" Bones asked Kirk, sounding not at all too pleased with what he might have just seen.

"What I always do, what's wrong with that?" Kirk responded as if nothing was wrong, all the while still holding the cake in his hands... hooves.

"With her?" Bones asked again, his eyes on Rarity.

"Maybe, what are you getting at Bones?" Kirk asked, not sounding to happy himself. He and Bones just stared at each other for a few moments before Bones spoke again.

"Sir. I know it's not my place," Bones began. "But all the women you usually sleep with are humanoid, or at least humanoid in appearance."

"What's your point Bones?" Kirk asked, seeming impatient.

"God damnit she's a pony Jim. An equine. Not remotely humanoid in any way." Kirk didn't do anything but stare at Bones at this. "Technically that's still bestiality." Kirk didn't say anything at that for several moments. Bones didn't say anything else after that either, as if hoping what he just said would sink in.

"Weren't you doing something else, Bones?" Kirk finally asked after what seemed like forever. Bones just let out a loud groan and walked away from Kirk, leaving him there. Kirk just keep looking at where he was, then at the cake and punch in his hands... hooves, then at the spot where Bones was, then at the cake and punch, then at the spot.... and then he wasn't sure what he was looking at anymore.

-AND NOW back to Jason's perspective-

MY OC DEEJAYS. (Having a suggestion with my OC worked last time...)

Now that that was out of the way, the party had moved from silently waiting to into full swing. Something was still off about those five that just walked in to you. Not the zebra though, for whatever reason you think she's normal enough, which is odd since you've never seen a zebra in this world before..... then again, you've never seen a buffalo in this world before, so maybe-

"Fillies and Gentlecolts!" a random seeming voice suddenly blares from speakers you didn't even realize were there as music suddenly starts playing. You turn to look towards the back of Sugarcube Corner, where the DJ Table was last time. There is a DJ table this time too, but something was different, namely that the DJ this time was a different pony. It was a light red, pegasus stallion with a purple mane, and his cutie mark looked like some kind of tornado... or a twister, from what you could tell. He was wearing Vinyl Scratch's sunglasses though, so that was still the same. "Get ready to party your faces off! Because I'm about to throw down some fresh beats!" And then at that, suddenly the real music starts playing.

Pinkie Pie Party (Three P) Round 2

Party Rock Anthem by LMFAO

Which sounded EXACTLY LIKE the Party Rock Anthem by LMFAO. Okay, first it was Lyra and Bon Bon singing Stand By Me, then it was The Dinosaur (a song which already did exist in this world before you invented that dance, which reminds you, you're at a party. Time to walk SOME DINOSAURS AGAIN!!!! Not right now though, the party's just started. Save that for later.), and now this. How the hell does this world have nigh identical music to your own? You make a mental note to look into this at some point.

Either way, at the sound of the music, a bunch of multicolored lights come on in sequence, and all the ponies that are already on the dance floor start actually dancing.

Well try to get on with the party, maybe it's for the best if that guy doesn't show up. You swear you've seen Applejack's cousin before. Ask him if he's the one that rode in on the motorcycle when Pinkie had you tied up.

When talking to the stallions with the Zebra you can't help but notice that they seem to have a look of recognition on their faces, like they've seen a human before and are familiar with it. Also, you swear you've heard their voices before, even the one with the crowbar cutie mark.

Before your mind can wander onto ANYTHING ELSE though, a realization suddenly hits you like a bullet to the face, and no it's not that Risen Flagg still hasn't shown up yet, though that does make you a little nervous to be honest. No, it's the fact that you have seen Applejack's cousin Braeburn before. If you remember correctly, he was the stallion that crashed through the wall on the motorcycle when Pinkie Pie had you tied down to that table (in this very room no less), which was.... kind of the only reason you could escape. You're not 100% sure about it though, you didn't get a very good look at him, mostly cause you got the hell out of there as quickly as you could when that happened. Plus, it seemed like it was forever ago now.

BUT STILL!!!! He's right here. You turn around to ask him about it and...... he's gone. Both he and his buffalo friend (as well as Applejack you've just noticed) seem to have disappeared from where they were before.

"Crap," you silently curse to yourself at that. You actually did kind of want to know about that now that your mind was on it.

"Hi!" You suddenly hear a voice from behind you say. You turn back around only to come face to face with...... the orange pony with the crowbar on his flank that you saw walk in the door. The one this party was supposedly for other than you. Well, him and his four friends. "You're are a human aren't you?" That... seemed kind of like an obvious question at this point to you. Still, the way he said it...

"Yes," you reply to him. "Yes, I'm a human."

"Awesome," he replied back to you. It was weird, his voice sounded kind of familiar to you, which was weird since you've never heard his voice before. "Listen, there's something we need to talk to you about so-"

"My my my..." A second voice suddenly says as the zebra walks up next to him. "A creature of your kind, I do not believe I have ever seen. So tall, so fit, and very lean." Did this zebra just compliment you? Compliment you.... while rhyming.

"Thank you," you politely reply in any case. "Likewise, I don't think I've ever seen a zebra around here before." Not like you're gonna hold it against her, oh no. Before you can say anything else though, you hold out your hand. "Jason Morgan," you say to them. "It's nice to meet you."

"Zecora is my name," the zebra replies to you as she takes your hand and shakes it while also taking a few moments to inspect it. Not an uncommon thing that's happened since you've been here. "And from here I am not, from across the plains is where I came." So... she's a foreigner in this land.... kind of like you are... in a sense.... Oh who are you kidding. The other one though... he shook your hand too, but he didn't give you his name.

"How do you know about humans?" you ask him. "Did you study them too?" It's not an impossible question. If Lyra could study humans, then surely there could have been others. At that question though, he returns you with a look you can't quite place. It looks as if you asked him an obvious question. Or as if he's somehow dumbfounded by what you said.

"Yes..." he finally says after a few minutes. "But that's not important right now," he suddenly blurts out. "There's something that we need to discuss with you and-"

"Excuse me for one moment," another voice suddenly says as the one of the blue ponies steps out in front of the orange one. The tall one, the one with black hair. "I apologize for my rudeness," he says to you in a very monotone voice. "But may I please have a word with my associate?" That....... was weird. You would think he wouldn't need to ask you for that.

"Sure..." is all you say in response as you walk away from the three of them. You get the feeling that whatever they want to talk about, they don't want you to hear about it. You're starting to become a little bit more suspicious of them, and that's not a good thing.

Jason: Well, it's your time to relax. You know what to do.
1) acquire door.
2) open door.
3)get on floor.
4)WALK THE DINOSAUR (serious comment)

Still, you try not to let it bother you, even though it does a little. Sure you could do many things right now to find out what they're talking about, but you're gonna let it go for now. You don't know why, but somehow you can feel as if they don't necessarily have bad intentions for you, and your inner Doctor seems to be backing you up on this. Well, que sera sera, whatever happens, you'll be ready for it.

As the music keeps playing you feeling a MIGHTY NEED to walk the dinosaur right now. But no.... you'll wait. Good things come to those who wait.

Still, that does bring up one thing. You look back to the DJ. He seems to be having fun, but seriously... where did he come from? For whatever reason, you wanna know.

"Pinkie Pie," you say, even though she's not right next to you.

"Yes, Jason," Pinkie Pie suddenly says as she suddenly appears right next to you. You're.... actually kind of surprised to see that that actually worked. Oh well.

"What happened to the other DJ?" you ask her. "Doesn't she live here in Ponyville too?"

"Oh, you mean Vinyl?" Pinkie Pie responds in her usual, bubbly voice. "She unfortunately has a show in Vanhoover this week, so she couldn't make it to the party. So Twister over there asked if he could DJ for us and I was like 'Okay sure, go nuts,' and then he said 'Thank you Pinkie Pie,' and then I was like 'Oh no problem woblem Twister, just make sure you throw down some fresh beats,' and he was like 'Okay I will. Well I gotta go get ready, see you at the party Pinkie Pie,' and then I was like 'Bye Bye Twister, see you at the party,' and here we are." You............. you actually did manage to follow that entire bit of dialogue that Pinkie Pie just said.

"Okay............." you say. "So Vinyl had a show in another town?"

"Another city?" Pinkie Pie replied. "She's really popular you know. Famous Equestria wide."

"Really...." is all you can say to that. "Wow.... Um...." Now you feel a bit bad about taking her sunglasses back at that other party. Speaking of which, you still have them.... Unfortunately, they're back at Lyra and Bon Bon's house. Then again, the new DJ, Twister here, seems to be wearing the same sunglasses, so you suppose they're pretty common.

Wait... now that Pinkie Pie is right here.

"Hey, Pinkie," you say to her.

"Yes, Jason," she replies as chipper as ever as she looks up at you.

"Um... The meeting we had earlier," you begin. "Did any of them tell you-"

"Oh, that," Pinkie Pie replied before you could even finish your sentence with a wave of a hoof. "Don't you worry your super powered head about that Jason. Applejack and Rarity told me everything so I'm up to speed. Which is funny because I also had to be up to speed on the party as well as the DJing and the dancing and the other things so really I'm up to speed on a lot of things, but yes, to answer your question, Applejack and Rarity got me all caught up. So don't worry about that."

"Really," you reply.

"Eeyup," Pinkie Pie replies, still chipper.

"They told you everything?" you ask.

"Yep," Pinkie Pie replies. "Everything."

"Even the-"

"Yes, even that." Pinkie Pie replies before you even get a chance to say a third word.

"And you.... understood everything?" you ask her.

"Et intellexi," Pinkie Pie responds. "Is that good enough for you Jason?" You..... okay your jaw is on the floor right now.... but for some reason you immediately forget about that and just go along with what she said.

"All right then," you say to her. "Say um, where's the punch bowl?" you ask her since she's here.

"Oh, over there." she points to the other end of the room at a nearby table.

Over at that table, you see a pegasus over there... a grey pegasus over there with a blue mane, talking with another pegasus over there that was black, or at least a very dark grey in color, and had a red-orangish mane. Also her cutie mark was of a thundercloud shooting lighting. Also she was wearing a jacket for some reason. The other pegasus over there, the grey one, who was a stallion, was not.

"Do not do this," the black pegasus said to the grey pegasus over there. Why you could hear the two of them from this distance when you couldn't hear anything else that was going on though was beyond you.

"Are you kidding me!?" The grey pegasus over there responded while holding up a tray of assorted cheeses. "LOOK AT THE VARIETY!"

"This is some bullshit," the black pegasus said in a monotone voice.

"You know how I get when I'm around assorted cheeses," The grey pegasus over there said. "HELP ME!"

"The only way to help you is to eat all the cheeses before you do," the black pegasus replied.

"Yeah, I know," the grey pegasus over there replied. "Let's make this a f*cking competition."

"All right, but you need to control yourself," the black pegasus said.

"F*CK YOU I'M ALWAYS IN CONTROL!" The grey pegasus over there shouted before they both dove into the assorted cheeses.

You also see Rainbow Dash by the punch bowl.

Jason, obviously Risen Flag either isn't attending the party or is already there. Thus, it would be a good idea to enjoy yourself while staying on your guard. Towards that end, make sure to dump a punch bowl over Rainbow Dash as a prank at some point in the party...or just dunk her in it. Probably easier. Rainbow Dash likes pranks, after all.

She's just standing there, getting some punch. So defenseless... you could walk over and dunk her head in the punch right now and she wouldn't even notice you... it's perfect. You could-

"You're thinking of pulling a prank on Dashie aren't you?" Pinkie Pie suddenly says. You forgot she was right there.

"Maybe...." you reply back to her.

"Probably not a good idea," she says back to you. "She's still a little mad that you made it rain on her while she was sleeping."

"Oh..." you say. Damn, you were so relaxed now you completely forgot about that. You guess she does have a point though. "Wait...." you say as you turn back to Pinkie Pie. "She told you about that?"

"Oh yeah," Pinkie Pie replies. "They told me everything remember." Huh... well, you guess they did her everything. You guess you don't have to worry about her being caught up on things.

Jason, create a minion to of anything available, and then tell it to hunt down Flagg, while letting you see from its eyes. That way, you know where the guy is at all times.

Then suddenly, as if out of nowhere, the music suddenly changes, and suddenly, every pony's attention is drawn to the front door.

Enter Risen Flagg

I Want It All/We Will Rock You [Mash Up] by Queen (feat. Armageddon)

Suddenly, the front door to Sugarcube Corner opens up, as if by itself, as three ponies walk into the corner, and into the party. Three ponies...... that you were expected, yet simultaneously hoped to every god you knew of that you wouldn't see at all here.

One of them, the main one, the one that stood in the middle, was none other than Risen Flagg himself. To his right, was none other than the blue mare with the silver hair, Trixie, that was what her name was. To Flagg's left, was the other pony, the white one, the one that was dressed as if he were some kind of butler. Nopony knew his name.

Time seemed to freeze for EVERYBODY there in the party, including you, as the three of them walked into the crowd of ponies, which almost seemed to part for the three of them. Flagg just looked around at the ponies staring at him. Trixie just seemed kind of nervous, and the other one... you couldn't read his expression. Then Flagg's eyes met yours, and you watch him smirk at you. You suddenly feel your pulse stop dead in it's tracks at that.

"Uh oh," you suddenly hear the DJ say while the music is still going on. "This can't be right." Then, after what sounds like a record scratching, the music returns to what it was before. At that, Risen Flagg's attention is drawn away from you and back seeming towards the music.

After that, the party returns to pretty much what it was before.

Great, looks like Risen Flagg was going to be coming after all, he just decided to show up a few minutes late. But now he's here. Now..... he is here....

What do you do?

-Side Story-

-Appaloosa-

-The AIA Headquarters-

+AIA Heaquearters+
Grey Rebl: One thing is for sure, this bomb hints that whoever we are dealing with is developing this for something big, and that they are getting prepared for it.
Secretary: We already done all that we can in a hurry. What should we do with it?
GR: Now that you asked, since this thing is so graciously given to us for free, why not use it?
S: What?! With all due respect, sir, how in the hay—pardon my language—can we use a large BOMB?! I'm sure none of us isn't going to take your idea into consideration.
Ursa: Actually, I'm kinda interested.
S: You, too?
GR: Well now, my dear secretary, we can do so because this isn't just ANY bomb. This massive energy made from chemicals that CAN be controlled. You heard the expert, 'it's easy to make', ergo it can also be easily modified and be used for a different purpose. Ursa, remember that power source problem you had with the Metal Gear Equine?
U: Yep. The colts can't even make the darn crystal core make enough power, and the robot itself isn't energy efficient. So, we can only go as far as making sure the thing is functional. Plus, a black out in the facility.
S: Director, you can't seriously mean plugging the bomb into the Metal Gear?
GR: Nope, I'm considering making a part of it. Put up a resistant chamber enhanced with magic, a super fail safe, stack up a lot of enchantments and extra rewiring, and we can have the original power source run all of it! 'Sides, I'm already pouring our power lines on the efforts to get communications on with the aliens.
S: You're awfully obsessed with that.
GR: So what do you say, Ursa?
U: Heh, you make sound like the job is simple, but, yeah, we can do that. I'm actually kinda glad we don't have to be stuck with the darn crystal core. It's not even versatile.
S: That crystal came courtesy of CIA, and a lot of pulled strings. And it didn't come cheap either.
GR: Looks like we are in an agreement–
S: I didn't have a say!
GR: –So! Why don't we get start—

*A random lab pony comes busting in! In his expression is a look of excitement*

RLP: Director! We have news!
U: Becareful on where you're running, you twit! You could've gotten our equipment busted!
RLP: I-I'm sorry...
GR: Easy on him. What is it?
RLP: It's the aliens! We finally reconnected!

*GR went dead silent and stared in disbelief*

GR: Are you sure?
RLP: Absolutely positive!
GR: *He gave a smile, one of relief* Hold the fort, I got business to attend.

*GR galloped out along with the random lab pony*

S: *looks at Ursa cautiously* You were pulling my tail, right?
U: Sorry, but progress has it's own risks.
S: You and Grey Rebl are going tog eat us all killed one day...

As is.

-The Enterprise-

-The Bridge-

Calvin: *cautiously looks over at R.A.* Ok so how are we going to keep him under control?

Janitor: Hmmm how about we find a upward escalator and push him down it thus putting him in a perpetual case of falling down stairs.

Tommy: How about a plan that won't involve making him angrier by the second? Like this! *pulls out a cup with a ball attached to it by a string*

Calvin and Janitor: ...I highly doubt that'll work.

R.A.: *sees the ball-cup rushes over grabs it from Tommy and begins playing with it* OH HAPPY DAY! I WAS IN THE MOOD FOR A GOOD GAME OF BALL-CUP!

Tommy: *has a smug look on his face* You were saying?

Calvin: *facepalms*

Janitor: I still think my escalator plan would have worked for the best.

~~~

Ramirez and Steve: *tries to get in contact with each of their respective parties*

~~~

Slim: *continues going through the system with relative ease* Well the difficulty in hacking this thing isn't going to be too much of a problem, but the sheer amount of data is just mind boggling.

Jim: Yeah! In fact I have already come across multiple folders that were filled with porn already! *looks at Sulu* By accident if I may add! Also you should try wiping most of the porn folders off your hard drive they are eating up a lot of the memory on this computer.

-On the bridge-
Sulu: I assure you, there are no 'porn files' under record in the main computer. In fact, the only one who is allowed to add to the mainframe, unless during speciala circumstances, is Captain Kirk or Scotty.

Scotty:*walking on to the bridge* What's this I hear about porn in my computer? The closest we have to that would be medical files! AND WHY THE HELL ARE THEY AT THE CONTROLS? Explain yourselves!

*to RA: Dude, I'll be adding some stuff to this, so don't 'conclude' the bridge encounter. have your gguys explain themselves, and make sure that there is a 'reply' marker to this comment somewhere in yours please.*

Slim: *replies without taking her eyes off the computer* Because we are making sure there are no hidden viruses, trojans, or tampered files on you ship's computer that would lead to said ship self destructing itself... any other questions Mister Scotty?

Jim: Hmmm medical files eh? So you have nude pictures of all the crew on your hard drive eh? *continues working as well*

Steve: Ramirez and I are currently trying to hail both the AIA and your captain who are on the planet. Oh and would you please keep quiet I need my concentration on this stuff or else a single miss click and all hell breaks loose on the ship.

Ramirez: You shouldn't be a dick Steve-

Steve: Shut up Ramirez.

Scotty: *eye twitching* Sulu, did you give them the controls?

Sulu: *hesitates* Well, yes, sir.

Scotty: *silent for a minute* I'm going to-

Random Redshirt #3467: SIR! I have a report from Cargo Bay C, sir!

Scotty: *sliding away from Sulu and taking the report* *reads* So, you mean to tell me there are ROBOTIC SPIDERS that have the potential to EXPLODE on my ship?! What else could go wrong?!?!?!

RA: Did you say exploding spider robots?

*While everyone was busy doing their parts, Calvin, Janitor, and Tommy are cautiously looking over at Registered Anonymous trying to figure out just what the hell to do with him.

Calvin: Okay.... So how are we going to keep him under control?

Janitor: Hmmm how about we find a upward escalator and push him down it thus putting him in a perpetual case of falling down stairs.

Tommy: How about a plan that won't involve making him angrier by the second? Like this!

*Suddenly Tommy pulls out a cup with a ball attached to it by a string*

Janitor: ...I highly doubt that'll work.

R.A.: *sees the ball-cup rushes over grabs it from Tommy and begins playing with it* OH HAPPY DAY! I WAS IN THE MOOD FOR A GOOD GAME OF BALL-CUP!

Tommy: *has a smug look on his face* You were saying?

Calvin: *facepalms*

Janitor: I still think my escalator plan would have worked for the best.

*At the two main computers*

Slim: *continues going through the system with relative ease* Well the difficulty in hacking this thing isn't going to be too much of a problem, but the sheer amount of data is just mind boggling.

Jim: Yeah! In fact I have already come across multiple folders that were filled with porn already! *looks at Sulu* By accident if I may add! Also you should try wiping most of the porn folders off your hard drive they are eating up a lot of the memory on this computer.

*There is silence for a few moments before Sulu speaks. Seemingly shocked a bit.*

Sulu: I assure you, there are no 'porn files' under record in the main computer. In fact, the only one who is allowed to add to the mainframe, unless during special circumstances, is Captain Kirk or Scotty. Now are you two actually trying to get through that buzzer field?

Slim: Yes, keep your pants on boy. We're working on it.

Sulu: Then why are you-

*Suddenly Scotty walks onto the bridge.*

Scotty:What's this I hear about porn in my computer? The closest we have to that would be medical files! AND WHY THE HELL ARE THEY AT THE CONTROLS? Explain yourselves!

Slim: *replies without taking her eyes off the computer* Because we are making sure there are no hidden viruses, trojans, or tampered files on you ship's computer that would lead to said ship self destructing itself in the process... any other questions?

Jim: Hmmm medical files eh? So you have nude pictures of all the crew on your hard drive eh? *continues working as well*

Steve: Ramirez and I are currently trying to hail both the AIA and BRP who are still on the ship. Slim and Jim there are trying VERY hard to get through whatever it is that's blocking communication on the planet so you can hail your captain too. Oh, and would you please keep quiet I need my concentration on this stuff or else a single miss click and all hell breaks loose on the ship.

Ramirez: You shouldn't be a dick Steve-

Steve: Shut up Ramirez.

Slim: But to answer your first question Mr. Sulu, yes we are working on it.

Jim: It's not as easy as you might think though. To be completely honest, we've never seen anything like this before. We're doing the best we can, but it's like trying to play a game a Simon where it keeps making up a new color every turn.

Scotty: *eye twitching* Sulu, did you give them the controls?

Sulu: Well...... Yes, sir.

Slim: Look, do you want us to help or not?

Scotty: *silent for a minute* When this is over.... I'm going to-

*Suddenly a random Redshit appears on the bridge.*

Random Redshirt #3467: SIR! I have a report from Cargo Bay C, sir!

*Slides away from Sulu for a second and takes the report. He then reads it for a moment.*

Scotty: So, you mean to tell me there are ROBOTIC SPIDERS that have the potential to EXPLODE on my ship?! What else could go wrong?!?!?!

RA: Did you say exploding spider robots?

-The Dalek Flagship, The Caesar-

-The Hallways-

Hugh, listening to the conversation on the bridge because RA put the ball-cup down on top of the communications console, opening a channel to BRP and BS, lets BRP speak through the channel.

BRP: Guys, Hugh can hack anything mechanical. I believe that it would be a good idea if such a thing was attempted on these spiders. You never know when an army of suicide arachnids may come in useful.

BS: Suicide Spiders? Save a few for me; I wanna see how they tick! Anyways, onwards and upwards!

Bronze Statue: Are we there yet?

BRP: No.

BS: Are we there yet?

BRP: No.

BS: Are we there yet?

BRP: No.

Scotty (through BRP's wrist computer): So, you mean to tell me there are ROBOTIC SPIDERS that have the potential to EXPLODE on my ship?! What else could go wrong?!?!?!

RA (through BRP's wrist computer): Did you say exploding spider robots?

BRP: NO-..... Wait..... *Looks at wrist computer, sees it's getting a signal.* Guys, Hugh can hack anything mechanical. I believe that it would be a good idea if such a thing was attempted on these spiders. You never know when an army of suicide arachnids may come in useful.

*There is silence on the other end for a moment before suddenly they both hear shouting.*

Ramirez (through BRP's wrist computer): Guys I got a line to em!

BS: Suicide Spiders? Save a few for me. I wanna see how they tick. Anyways, onwards and upwards!

Author's Note

status: edited

P.S. Whoever spots and names all of the cameos in this story gets a free hug and a cookie. :pinkiehappy:

Keep Partying Hard WITH A VENGEANCE!!!

Hmm, interesting turns of events so let's see...

Risen Flag, turn off the Dinosaur, turn off the Dinosaur, that's an order. Moreover, change the music over to something a bit more tolerable and more akin to the tastes in music that you find preferable. Try THIS:

Meanwhile, in a corner of the room...

Roseluck: OHMYGOSH!OHMYGOSH!OHMYGOSH!OHMYGOSH!OHMYGOSH!

???: I said relax, not cause a goddamn scene.

RL: Sorry, it's just that...WOW!!! You are gorgeous!

???: *deadpan*

Lily: *stumbles over to the corner* Hey guys, how's it hangin'?!

RL: Not now! Busy!

???: Darling you're drooling (Roseluck snaps back to wipe it away) and you have a little bit of PD on your noise.

LY: Ah shit! (Hastily brushes it off) I don't think that I've ever met you before, Mister?

???: Draft. Line Draft.

LY: I'm Lily and I must say that you are one handsome looking stallion, Mister Draft.

RL: MINE!!!!

LY: *Eyes go wide and slowly fades back into the dancing crowd of ponies behind her* Oooookay.

LD: Roseluck...Choking...ME!

RL: *leaps off of him* Sorry. Wait, you said that your name was...Line Draft?

LD: Yes.

RL: *begins to leave*

LD: Where are you going?

RL: Thought you were somepony else *moping as she walks away*

LD: Wait. *reaches into his front breast pocket* Does this help at all in the matters. *holds up a pocket watch with an engraved cover, consisting of only four letters*

RL: D. X. I. V. OH MY GODS YOU'RE HERE!

LD: *throws a hoof over her mouth* Keep down, will you, the others will here you.

RL: But you're here and in pony form. YOU. IN. PONY. FORM.

Line Draft looked into her eyes and saw that look, the look he saw a few times before in the eyes of others, a look that screamed, well this.

7:53 in that video.

WARNING: NOT SAFE FOR WORK. HEADPHONES ADVISED.

RL: YOU. IN. HANDSOME. DELICIOUS. F**KABLE. PONY. FORM.

LD: *slap* Bring yourself together, Rose. I mean for the love of the gods, this is a party, not a Roman orgy in the marble bathhouses.

RL: Sorry.

Risen Flag: Excuse, me but I was making my rounds to say hello and noticed that I had forgotten you two.

RL: Eeep!

RF: Allow me to introduce myself, I am Risen Flag, Senator of Canterlot and you are?

RL: Rose Luck.

RF: Enchante, mon cheri. *kisses her hoof*

RL: *recoils nearer to Line Draft*

RF: *inner monologue: That's odd, she doesn't seem to be falling for the charm incantation I placed over myself. Ah well, could be a glitch, after all those spells are always a bit wonky * And you are Mister?

LD: Please to meet you, Flag, hope you guess my name.

RF: *chill runs down his spine* Oh shit.

Oh, by the way, all of the attempts to attack Risen Flag, HA!

Pinkie Pie Party Round 2 Second Song

Hip To Be Square by Huey Lewis and the News

Risen Flagg's entrance into the party went unnoticed by none. Well, none except for a certain beige mare with a red mane who was SO INFATUATED with the pegasus stallion standing in front of her that she couldn't give any less of a crap about Risen Flagg.

"OHMYGOSH!OHMYGOSH!OHMYGOSH!OHMYGOSH!OHMYGOSH-" Roseluck kept repeating in glee as if she were somehow channeling both Pinkie Pie at the same time.

"I said relax, not cause a Celestia damn scene," the pegasus interrupted Roseluck, which caused Roseluck to shake her head a little to clear her head.

"Sorry, it's just that..." Roseluck said while trying and failing to hide the incredibly large and still growing blush on her cheeks. "WOW!!! You are gorgeous." The pegasus only responded to her with an extremely deadpan look, which was impressive even by normal deadpan look standards.

"Hey guys," Lily suddenly said as she stumbled seemingly out of nowhere into the corner where Roseluck and the pegasus stallion were standing. "How's it hanging."

"Not now! Busy!" Roseluck responded rather quickly without even looking at Daisy. The width of her pupils by this point were threatening to tear right through her iris and into the rest of her eyes.

"Darling, you're drooling," the pegasus said to Roseluck, at which point she immediately snapped back to reality and realized that not only had she been standing there staring at him like a horny schoolfilly for several minutes (or was it several seconds, either way it doesn't matter), but that she was in fact drooling. Quickly she wiped it away while silently cursing herself for letting him see that. "And you have a little bit of Pegasus Dust on your nose." The pegasus then said to Lily, at which point her pupils did the exact opposite of what Roseluck's did.

-Some undesignated amount of minutes earlier in one of the bathrooms-

It was a little known fact of Ponyville that Sugarcube Corner had not two, but three bathrooms. One was label for colts, one for fillies, and the third was.... strangely unlabeled. Nopony to this day knew exactly who it was supposed to be for, and most just ignored it unless it was an emergency. Even Mr. and Mrs. Cake didn't know who the third bathroom was supposed to be for or why it was even there, as according to them it was just there when they bought the building. Then there was the broom closet, but that was just a broom closet, so it wasn't really worth talking about.

Anyway, in one of the three bathrooms, Lily had just finished snorting a line of pegasus dust off of one of the sinks.

"I don't know Bob," Lily said as she turned around to face a stallion that was in the bathroom with her. "I'm not feeling nothing yet, are you absolutely sure that-"

"NO!" The stallion with a dark grey coat and an orange, almost copperish mane with what seemed like an electrical sign for a cutie mark, apparently named Bob, said to Lily as he suddenly got so close to her he was in danger of occupying the same space as her and blowing a hold in the universe. Also their eyeballs may have been touching. "Because you see.... I'M TRIPPING BALLS RIGHT NOW!!!"

"It would seem that I am tripping too," another mare said immediately after Bob had spoken.

"OH CELESTIA I'M TRIPPING BALLS!" Another mare shouted.

"I'm not even know what I'm supposed to be doing," Lily said, confused as all tartarus.

"Oh no, now I'm tripping balls!" Another stallion in the bathroom with them all said.

"Dude I'm tripping balls!" One stallion said to another next to him who looked just like him.

"Dude I'm tripping balls!" The other stallion said to his apparent twin.

"I'M TRIPPING BALLS!!!" One more, strangely androgynous pony said as he/she grasped his head with his hooves.

"Well I feel fine," Lily said right as it suddenly hit her. "Oh, there it goes."

"ALL RIGHT!" The second mare to announce that she was tripping balls suddenly shouted while waving her hooves around. "We've been here for minutes and we all know that ponies have certain needs. Men, mares, masculinely feminine one, we're gonna have to have an orgy." At that, everypony in the bathroom just stared at her with the most perfect poker faces that anypony who happened to be tripping balls could put on.

"Right he-" Bob almost asked before the crazy mare cut him off.

"NO!" She shouted. "This is a Pinkie Pie Party, and we all know what happened the last time that happened at a Pinkie Pie Party!" At that, everypony shuddered at the though, even Lily.

"So-" one of the twins was about to say before the crazy mare cut him off again.

"MY HOUSE!!!

And that is the last Code MENT reference I am going to make in this story. The author said to himself as he wrote the last part of his flashback.

-And back to Roseluck-

"Ah, shit!" Lily cursed to herself as she hastily brushed off the pegasus dust still on her nose. Once she was done, she looked back at the pegasus stallion that Roseluck was eyeing. "I don't think I've ever met you before Mr.-"

"Draft," The pegasus stallion greeted her. "Line Draft." Roseluck practically swooned the moment his name hit her ears.

"I'm Lily, and I must say," Lily replied to Line Draft while not so subtly giving him the bedroom eyes. "That you are one handsome looking stallion, Mr. Draft."

"MINE!!!" Roseluck shouted as loud as she physically could as she literally leapt onto Line Draft and threw her fore-hooves around his neck. Lily could only stand still dumbfounded as her eyes went wide.

"Yo Lily, you coming!?" Another mare shouted at her from somewhere in the crowd. Neither Roseluck nor Line Draft really cared to look. Lily just ignored them.

"Oooooooooookay," Lily said as she slowly backed away from Roseluck and Line Draft and back into the sea of ponies where her friends were waiting for her.

"Roseluck...." Line Draft barely managed to say. "Choking..... Me......"

"Ah!" Roseluck yelped as she jumped off of him, her face as red as her hair. "Sorry. Wait, you said your name was Line Draft?"

"Yes," Line Draft replied.

"Oh," Roseluck said as the cheerful look drained from her face like a water bottle with a hole in it. Slowly, she turned away from the corner and began to walk away.

"Where are you going?" Line Draft asked, sounding a little bit worried.

"Thought you were somepony else," Roseluck replied to him as she walked away moping back into the sea of ponies.

"Wait!" Line Draft called out as he ran after her and caught her left hoof in his own. Still moping, Roseluck stopped and turned to look back at him. "Does this help at all in the matters?" Line Draft said to her as he reached into his breast coat pocket and pulled out a pocket watch with an engraved cover consisting of only four letters. D X I V.

"D. X, I, V..." Roseluck read to herself as the color slowly, and then instantly returned to her face. "OH MY CELESTIA YOU'RE HERE!"

"Keep down, will you!" Line Draft said as he threw a hoof over her mouth. "The others will hear you."

"Sorry," Roseluck said again after Line Draft had removed his hoof from her mouth. "But... you're here, and...." she paused for a quick moment to look up and down Line Draft again. "In pony form. YOU. IN. PONY. FORM." She stopped talking right then, but the look in her eyes told Line Draft pretty much everything he needed to know, as it was a look he'd seen on others. It was a look that screamed that she wanted to taste his spotted dick. To butter his crumpets, bang his mash, climb his apples and pears, spread his marmite, minister his silly walk, and vinegar his chips. Put it simply, she wanted to f:yay:ck him. "YOU. IN. HANDSOME. DELICIOUS. F:yay::yay:KABLE. PONY. FORM." Roseluck continued, only to receive a slap across the face from Line Draft.

"Pull yourself together, Rose," Line Draft said to her. "I mean, for the love of the gods, this is a party, not a Roman orgy in a marble bathhouse."

"Sorry," Roseluck said again as she held up a hoof to try and hide the fact that her face now matched her mane. It didn't do any good.

"Excuse me," another voice from the sea of ponies suddenly said to them. "I was making my rounds to say hello and noticed that I had almost forgotten you two." Both Roseluck and Line Draft turned to see that the owner of the voice was none other than Risen Flagg himself.

"Eeep!" Roseluck couldn't help but let out.

"Allow me to introduce myself," Risen Flagg said to them. "I am Risen Flagg, Senator of Canterlot, and you are."

"Roseluck," Roseluck replied with some hesitance in her voice as she held out her hoof.

"Enchante, mon cheri," Risen said to her as he took her hoof and kissed it, which made Roseluck recoil nearer to Line Draft. The pony that was with Risen, a blue pony with a silver mane, shot Roseluck a strange look, but Roseluck for the most part ignored it. "And you are Mister..." Flagg said as he turned his attention to Line Draft.

"Pleased to meet you, Flagg," Line Draft said to him as he held out a hoof, the look on his face taking a more sinister appearance. "Hope you guess my name." The exact mircosecond those words hit his ears, Flag's eyes suddenly shrank to the size that Lily's were for a moment, but only for a moment before they returned to normal, and a smirk crept across his face. Likewise with Line Draft as Risen Flagg took his hoof.

-The party-
GF: That's him. That's the great evil this place is facing!
Bones: Uh-huh. When did you get into my scotch. Speaking of which, I suddenly feel like there's someone breaking into my liquor cabinet.
Spock: Doctor, I doubt your assessment of both your liquor cabinet and the Ensign's mental faculties are true. I sense... something from that pony, and it is not benign in it's disposition.
Kirk*walking over* So, why'd the party stop then?
GF: *points out Risen*
Kirk: *obviously drunk by now* I'm going to have a word with him. He interrupted me while I was in the middle of wooing a couple of fine ladies over there. *points sloppily at a purple mare with a berry cutie mark, and a light blue pegasus whose cutie mark was hidden*
Spock: Captain, I highly advise against this action, as you are obviously impaired by the amount of alcohol you have consumed.
Bones: You're smashed, Jim! We don't want to start any brawls in our own welcoming party, for Christssake!
Kirk: Shut up, both of you. That's... that's an ord- or- order!
Bones: Jim-
Kirk*already walking away*
Bones: JIM! Get back here! *stage whispering* Damnit. *silent for a moment* Where'd Gordon go?

GF*sneaking up behind Risen*: Almost there....

Kirk: YOU! Yes YOU! *pointing at Risen* I was in the middle of making myself acquainted with the lovely women in this town, and you come barging in all high-and-mighty, interrupting my- *hic* -charms. I want an apology out of you, mister!

GF: *internal monologue* HA! Finally a break. Alright, here we go.... *raises crowbar and smacks Risen as hard as he can, leaving a good dent in the crowbar*

Risen:*turning around to look at Gordon* May I help you?!?!

GF: *gulps audibly while hiding the obvious crowbar behind his back*

-Elsewhere-

Elsewhere in the sea of ponies, the Star Trek away team had just regrouped after Zecora and Spock had successfully managed to pull Gordon Freebrony away from Jason Morgan.

"F:yay:cking damnit Spock," Gordon Freebrony practically shouted under his breath as Spock and Zecora dragged him back to rejoin the group. "What'd you do that for?"

"Mr. Spock," Kirk interjected. "Would you mind explaining to me what was happening?"

"Captain," Spock replied in his usual deadpan voice. "Mr. Freebrony was in the process of revealing our presence to the human present at this party."

"I was trying to tell him that we were here to help him," Gordon chimed in, but was ignored but Kirk and Spock.

"Such an action would have jeopardized our mission, thus I saw it necessary to take action," Spock continued.

"What," Gordon said once Spock had finished. "So we can break the prime directive for one pony but not for the human we're trying to save?"

"The circumstances behind this event and the events prior to tonight are vastly different, Mr. Freebrony," Spock said without once breaking his monotone demeanor. "Not only that but the manner in which you would have revealed ourselves to said human was unprofessional and, if I may say so, unwise." Gordon practically growled at Spock in response.

"I see," Kirk said as all of that sank in. "While I do appreciate your efforts, Mr. Freebrony, I do believe that Mr. Spock is right. Thi-"

"Oh like you could have done better, Captain," Gordon shot back at him when suddenly, a look of confusion hit his face. "Speaking of which, where were you?" Before Kirk could even open his mouth to respond, Bones beat him to the punch.

"Well, Captain Hormones here was in the middle of 'doing what he always does'," Bones stated with obvious emphasis on that last part. "with one of the equines present at this party before I got to him." At that, the obvious anger and frustration that was present in Gordon's voice and face before immediately dropped and was replaced by something that pretty much screamed 'WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN!' The look on Spock's face hadn't changed at all, but the look in his eyes might as well have said everything. Zecora just looked confused.

"You were...." Gordon finally let out after a few moments. "About too..."

"Yes," Kirk replied with a completely straight face.

"With a-" Gordon was about to say but Kirk beat him to the punch, again.

"Yes," Kirk replied, again with a straight face. Gordon didn't say anything in response at first, though his left eye started twitching manically for a bit. Zecora just looked between them for a second. She wanted to say something, but at the same time, had no idea what.

"Gordon..." Bones said to Gordon. After another moment, Gordon let out a groan for a bit and rolled his head round.

"Sorry I think I almost had an aneurysm there," Gordon said, much to Kirk's dismay. "Sir you do realize tha-" Gordon Freebrony was about to say more before he looked over and saw Risen Flagg in the crowd of ponies. The very sight of him caused a chill to run down his spine. "That's him! Gordon practically shouted in a sudden change of topics. "That's the great evil this place is facing!"

"Uh huh..." Dr. McCoy let out. "When did you get into my scotch? Speaking of which, why do I suddenly feel like somebody's breaking into my liquor cabinet?"

"Doctor," Spock interjected. "I doubt your assessment of both your liquor cabinet and the Ensign's mental faculties are true. I sense... something from that pony, and it is not benign in it's disposition."

"I see..." Kirk said, adjusting himself a little. "In that case, I'm going to have a word with-." Before he could even finish that sentence, the sound of something beeping caught them all off guard. It was a sound they were familiar with, but not one these ponies would have heard. It was the sound of Kirk's communicator going off.

Immediately, as soon as the noise hit their ears, all of their attention was on Kirk, who immediately rushed towards the front door of the party and went outside.

"Jim," Bones said as he tried to go after him, but he was already long gone. "Damnit!" He said as he turned back around to face the others, but something was wrong. "Where'd Gordon go?"

-Elsewhere Elsewhere-

Risen Flagg was still busy making his rounds introducing himself and mingling with all the ponies that he could. His attention was so focused on them that he did not notice the orange pony behind him.

"Almost there..." Gordon Freebrony silently said to himself as he got out his crowbar. 'Thank god they let me bring this.' he thought to himself. Suddenly, in front of him, Risen Flagg had stopped to talk to another pony. "HA! Finally a break. Alright, here we go...." Gordon silently again said to himself as he raised his crowbar, ready to smack Risen in the head with it as hard as he could, which would have probably left a dent in the crowbar, when suddenly, Risen Flagg turned around to face him.

"May I help you?" Risen Flagg said to him. Gordon Freebrony didn't say anything as he quickly hid the crowbar behind his back. Risen Flagg however, kept staring at him. "I don't believe we've met, are you a citizen of Ponyville?" At that, Gordon gulped loudly.

"Yes," was all that Gordon could say, albeit nervously.

"Oh, well in that case," Risen Flagg said as he held out his hoof. "Pleased to meet you. I'm Risen Flagg, Senator of Canterlot."

Gordon just stood there staring at Risen's hoof, then back to his face, then back to the hoof, then back to his face, then back to the hoof. He was... truly at a loss for what to say... or do.

Sidestory: "WARNING. LONG PIECE WITH ENCOUNTER OF DOCTOR WHO."

+Ponyville, Sugercube Corner+

The buffalo suddenly got dragged by Pinkie... and then got paired with that unbearable stallion! At first, she became angry, but then she started to be apprehensive when she noticed, through her gadget sunglasses, she saw how distorted Kirk's figure was. In fact, it appeared taller than it should be.

The sunglasses was a multi tool made for every Operative. It monitors the users status, lock on magic signatures and pin point it, set locations and objectives, and detect certain things that can't be seen by the naked eye, or make it easier to see. It detects magic, frequency waves, and even the status and details of Kirk's bruises!

It can also see through illusions if she switches her vision on her HUD. She didn't get a chance to do so when Kirk's friend pulled him away. She was going to follow when, suddenly, Risen appeared. Everything stopped. The human in the room stared with an expression fear. Fear? She glanced at Risen and he made a small speech about the party. Questions formulated, and she wondered about the meaning of the Directors tone of the politician.

Little Strongheart found herself staring at Risen for way too long. Shaking her head, she realized how familiar the sensation she had while doing so. She shivered, not wanting to think about it, and continued her search for the Doctor when Risen finished and the party started to get a little chatty.

It was for a few minutes, swaying through the crowds, avoiding the tables with groups of ponies and running foals, and sticking her neck out until her HUD starts to light up bright lime on a pony at the far side, drinking on some punch.
Walking up there, she found a brown-tan stallion with a darker mane and an hour glass as a cutiemark. She found their pony.

LS: Excuse me.

???: Hmm?

LS: Do you happen to be "the Doctor"?

???: Doctor?

The buffalo noticed the confusion in his face, and it slowly turned into a scowl. Something isn't right.

LS: Yes, are you not him?

???: How many times do I have to tell every pony?! My name is Time Turner and I work a clockwork shop! I'm not some crazy time traveling lunatic who rides in a blue box!

Several groups of ponies looked at their direction.

LS: I-I, uhm...

TT: *sigh* Sorry for blowing my fuse, but I guess you heard the rumors going around town. Jeez, you came for a day and you've already heard...

LS: *disturbed at the looks around them until it stopped* I'm sorry for being insensitive, Mister Turner. I think I had you wrong...
In more ways than one.

TT: It's alright. I should've gotten used to this anyways.

LS: I'll be going on with the party. Bye.

TT: Later.

Strongheart sighed, shook her head, and went to find Braeburn. Meanwhile, at the other end of the party, Braeburn took a small break by taking a cup of punch. Somepony approached him.

???: What's with the sunglasses?

BB: 'Cause Ah feel like it. Makes me look like one of them super secret agents from the theaters.
Another white lie. Better keep them coming. He turned to face a walled-eyed mare; a Pegasus, a grey coat and a blond mane. She looked around her surroundings.

???: You looked like you're looking for somepony.

BB: Naw. Ahm just takin' in the sights, and the food. *takes a bite out of a cupcake.*

???: Yep, Pinkie's pastries are sure popular, especially after the "Baked Bads". *shivers* Might be easier to look around without the those glasses though.

Braeburn stared at her with his green vision for a moment, and then laughed.

BB: Heh, ah guess your right. Name's Braeburn Apple.

Derpy Hooves: Ditzy Doo, but my friends call me Derpy.

BB: To be honest, yeah, ah am lookin' for some pony. Tryin' to deliver a letter for a friend.

DH: Why didn't you use the mail service?

BB: Would take too long and Ah don't trust Ponyville for that matter. When ah thought some of mah cousin's forgot to write some letters, ah found out they got lost up in Cloudsdale! The last time was with mah cuz, Applejack.

DH: Oh.*Whistles inoccently* I might know whoever you're looking for. Can you tell me what he looks like?

BB: Ah can show you. *take out picture*

DH: Time Turner?

BB: That was his name? Ah was the under the impression "The Doctor" doesn't have a name. Told me it was just The Doctor.

DH: *blinks and stares into him intently* Can you tell me who sent you?

BB: It was a friend of mine.

DH: Name?

BB: *seeing how scary she is when her eyes started to go straight, he quickly said,* He told me to keep him anonymous, so ah can't say.

Silenced followed. It was odd for Braeburn to notice how tense she is when he said, "The Doctor". Intimidated by her, no less!
DH: Come with me.

He did, and he is led to a dark blue stallion with white accents, eating an English muffin with moist butter on top. Braeburn would've seen that if weren't for the distortion around him. His sunglasses notified him that it detected an unknown illusion with a box. Turning to Blue vision for seeing magic and through illusions, he found himself face to face with the very time pony he was looking for.

This is definitely secret mission.

Doctor: Derpy! Who's the chap you have beside of you?

DH: He was looking for you, Doctor. He seems to know about you.

Doctor: Oh? *he turned to BB* He knows me?

BB: A-ah have a letter for you.

Braeburn handed the Doctor his long-dued mail. The letter that led the two operatives to a wild chase across town for his one pony, and it finally arrived to the recipient.

The Doctor looked into his eyes, more particularly his sunglasses. He could faintly notice the blinking lights on it. He beamed. That disturbed Braeburn.

Doctor: *He read the letter* Ah! Inter-dimensional beings asking for help! Ironic when I needed some myself. From up there even! How did I not notice?

At the that moment, Little Strongheart arrived at the scene. She was about to call for her partner, but she was issued of the distortion. Quickly turning on the blue vision to filter it, her jaw dropped. She jerked her head towards the direction in which she came, and back to the Doctor.

LS: B-but how– I was– ...

D: I see you have a way to see through my disguise. Had to when I realized I have a pony who looks just like me who lives here. Poor fella.

Strongheart took off her sunglasses, put them back on, then took it off, and back on. Every time she sees between The Doctor and his disguise.

D: Hmm, there's more here... *Horror and perplexion suddenly etched his face as he spouted one word incredulously* Daleks?!

BB: The scary pepper shakers? What about them?

-Elsewhere Elsewhere Elsewhere-

At first, Little Strongheart was angry that she almost got paired up with that unbearable stallion that was Kirk. She didn't blame Pinkie Pie, not at all, there was no way she could have known, after all, wasn't there an hour ago. She more cursed her luck. She was angry, but suddenly she started to become a little be apprehensive when, through the eyes of her sunglasses, she saw that Kirk's figure was somehow distorted, making him appear much taller than he should have been. Or at least much taller than when she saw him earlier without the sunglasses.

The sunglasses were a standard issue, multi use tool that the AIA scientific division had recently developed not even a few months ago. They monitored the users status, and through a series of simple inferences and icons, allowed the wearer to see their own stats in the upper right corner of their vision not to dissimilar from a health bar in a videogame. Or at least it would be to them had ponies even known what videogames even were. Just below the health status was a bar to indicate battery life. Since the sunglasses ran on a magical charge as opposed to electricity, they were not rendered useless when the charge ran out. Instead, they simply needed to be turned off and left alone for a while to recharge. For now though, Little Strongheart's glasses were in the green as far as energy, so she didn't have to worry about that.

They could also lock onto to magical signatures and pinpoint the source, which often was the location of the caster, as well as allow the user to see a variety of things that could not be seen with the naked eye, or at least make them easier to see. This also included pinpoints for objectives and set locations put in by either the wearer of the agency. It also allowed her to keep and eye on Braeburn as well, as she could see his glasses through her own.

One other thing that the glasses allowed her to see in conjunction with magical signatures was the ability to see through illusions with the touch of a small, easily missable button on the side of the glasses. She didn't get a chance to do this on Kirk before his friend pulled him away, and she didn't see him anywhere afterwards, but there was something that the glasses were picking up. She could feel it. With that in mind, she decided to start with him first.

She was about to go look for him when suddenly, she caught sight of Risen Flagg, and everything stopped. His very presence at this party raised all kinds of questions. Her mind raced back to Director Grey Rebl's tone of voice when discussion the senator, part of it stuck with her. She was certainly not prepared for this. She looked over real quick back at the only human at the party, the look and expression on his face was one she could recognize. Fear. The human was somehow afraid of Risen. That, combined with the director's words only raised even more questions about him to Little Strongheart.

She looked back at him, but when she did, her glasses did something they've never done before. They went all haywire on him. It was like the glasses were looking at something, but couldn't quite figure out what it was. Like it knew that there was an illusion there, but it couldn't decide if it was an illusion or not, so if kept frantically trying to make up it's mind. At that point, she realized that she had been staring at Risen for longer than she should have, and shook her head a bit to clear up her thoughts. When she was looking at the ground, her glasses suddenly worked just fine again.

She shivered for a moment before realizing that she had to get back to her mission. She wasn't just here to have fun after all. With that in mind, she started working her way through the sea of ponies present at the party. For a few minutes it was dodging tables, trying not to bump into anypony, and a few other things before she, and by extension her glasses, caught something. She saw a brown, more chestnut colored pony over at one of the snack tables. His mane and tail were a darker color brown and his cutie mark resembled an hourglass. He also wore a green necktie for some odd reason.

Her sunglasses flickered for a moment. It wasn't all that dissimilar from what she saw with Kirk. The pony's figure was somehow distorted, though not nearly as much. It was like the illusion was too powerful for the glasses, but some small.... thing, had gotten through. Since she had nothing else to go on, and this being the first thing she'd seen since Kirk at this party, Little Strongheart made her way over to talk to this pony.

"Excuse me," Little Strongheart said as she walked up to the pony, who turned to give her a curious look.

"Hmmm..." he said before he fully saw her. "Ah, a buffalo." he said with some excitement. "It's not often that we see a buffalo in our interesting little town, what brings you here?" Little Strongheart, especially after her incident with Kirk, couldn't help but feel a little better after that.

"Actually," she said. "I'm looking for somepony."

"Oh, really," the chesnut pony responded. "Well, I guess that explains why you're here then. Pinkie Pie does know EVERYPONY in Ponyville after all. So, who are you looking for. If you don't mind me asking. A friend of yours."

"No, not particularly," Little Strongheart replied. "I've never met him."

"Oh," the chestnut pony responded. "Well who is he then?"

"He goes by The Doctor," Little Strongheart said to him. At that, he practically froze for a moment. It was only for a moment, but Little Strongheart could see it.

"Well.... um...." the chesnut pony replied. "There aren't that many Doctors here in Ponyville. There's Dr. Heart at the hospital, and there's Dr. Minuette, she's Ponyville's local dentist. Oh, and there's Nurse Redheart. She's not a doctor, but you might wanna talk to her, she'll-"

"And you're not a doctor yourself?" Little Strongheart asked. That reaction he gave didn't mean nothing.

"Um..... no," he responded. "I work in a clockwork shop. I make and fix watches. I'm not a Doctor, I don't even have a PhD."

"Oh," Little Strongheart replied, now a little more curious.

"Right, um...." the chestnut pony said. "Sorry I can't really be of much help to you." The chestnut pony said.

"Oh, it's quite all right," Little Strongheart said. She could tell he wouldn't tell her anymore than he had already had. "Thank you anyway."

"Oh, well you're very welcome," the chestnut pony responded before he went back to his drink. Little Strongheart turned to walk away, but then stopped herself after a moment.

"Oh, by the way," she asked. "What's your name?" The chestnut pony looked back at her, a little confused.

"Time Turner," he responded.

"Time Turner...." Little Strongheart said under her breath. "Well, it was nice meeting you Mr. Turner."

"You too," Time Turner responded to her as she walked off. Little Strongheart just sighed to herself real quick and smiled before she went off to find Braeburn. She had to tell him about this.

Meanwhile, across the party, Braeburn was holding his own cup of punch looking out into the sea of ponies. In this head, his own little theme music kept playing. Off in the distance, he saw his cousin's friend Rainbow Dash talking with a jet black stallion with a purple mane and tail. He couldn't quite tell what they were talking about, but he saw the stallion look at her confused for a moment before she flew away from him. After that he disappeared. Braeburn didn't see him again.

"What's with the sunglasses," a sudden, adorable, practically bubbly voice asked him. Braeburn immediately turned his head to see a grey pegasus with a blonde mane and tail staring back at him, or at least one of her eyes was. The other seemed to be looking off somewhere else.

"'Cause Ah feel like it," Braeburn responded to her. "Makes me look like one of them super secret agents from the theaters." The grey wall-eyed pony couldn't help but giggle at that. It was another white lie of course. Braeburn had gotten better at telling them since he joined the agency.

"You look like you're looking for somepony." the grey pegasus said to him.

"Nah, Ahm just takin' in the sights, and the food." Braeburn replied to her as he took a bite out of a cupcake he snagged. Unlike what he told her before, that was actually true.

"Yep," the grey pegasus chirped. "Pinkie's pastries are sure popular, especially after the "Baked Bads". *shivers* Might be easier to look around without the those glasses though." Braeburn just stared at her for a moment, the green vision made her look a bit weird. After a moment though, he couldn't help but laugh.

"Heh, ah guess your right," Braeburn said as he took them off and put them in his vest pocket before holding his hoof out to the grey pegasus mare. "Name's Braeburn Apple."

"Derpy Hooves," the grey pegasus responded to him. "Apple? Are you related to Applejack?" she asked excitedly.

"Shore am," Braeburn replied with a gusto. "All the way from AAAAAAAAApaloosa!" Derpy nearly bust out laughing at that. Braeburn did always like doing that. "An' tah be honest, yeah, ah am lookin' for some pony. Tryin' to deliver a letter for a friend."

"Why didn't you use the mail service?" Derpy asked after he laughing fit was over.

"Would take too long an' sides, give me an excuse to visit mah cousin." Braeburn replied.

"Oh," Derpy replied. "Well, I might know who you're looking for. "I work for the mail service here in Ponyville after all."

"You do?" Braeburn replied. He honestly wasn't quite sure how he should have felt about that.

"Eeyup," Derpy replied with her usual bubbliness. It was only then did Braeburn notice that he cutie mark was of bubbles. "So who is he? Is he a friend of yours?"

"Can't say," Braeburn replied. "Ah've never met him mahself. He goes by The Doctor." At that, he saw Derpy's eyes straighten for a moment, but then go back to normal.

"Well, there are all kinds of doctors here in Ponyville. Dr. Heart, Dr. Minuette, Dr.-"

"That's a lot of doctors," Braeburn interjected before Derpy could finish, which made her giggle a little bit again. Her laugh really was adorable.

"Yeah, I guess it is," Derpy said. "Some of them are probably here at this party, so they shouldn't be too hard to find. Good luck finding your pony Mr. Apple."

"Thanks," Braeburn replied. "It was nice talkin to yah, Mrs. Hooves." At that, Derpy walked right past him and continued where she was going. Braeburn kept her eyes on her for a moment. There was something about her.

"Braeburn!" Little Strongheart said out of nowhere. Braeburn jumped a little as he turned to face her. She practically snuck up on him.

-Elsewhere Elsewhere Elsewhere Elsewhere-

"The famous Ms. Rarity I presume," Risen Flagg said as he found Rarity in the sea of ponies.

"Famous?" Rarity replied, shaken a little bit, in a good way, about the compliment she had just received. "My my, you flatter me Mr. Flagg."

"Please, call me Risen," he replied before she could say another word. The way he said that to her... it made her feel.... good.

"Um... very well, Risen," Rarity replied, though she seemed unsure of what to say now. "I... I.... You give me too much credit. I-"

"Nonsense," Risen Flagg interjected again. "You, the element of generosity, you and your friends have saved this world multiple times. If anything, I think that famous is an understatement." At that, he put his hoof to his chin for a moment. "Legend, seems more fitting." Rarity couldn't help but feel her cheeks catch fire as he said that to her.

"My, my Risen," Rarity said to her. "You certainly to know how to compliment a lady."

"I do what I can," he replied as casually as ever.

"So tell me," Rarity said, he composure regained, somewhat. "What is a Canterlot Senator doing in our quaint little town?"

"Well, if you really must know," Risen said to her. "During my campaign for senator I made it a point to visit many of the small towns near to my home city of Canterlot. Unfortunately, due to various circumstances, which I do believe you would find boring, I was unable to make it to Ponyville, something I was not particularly proud of. After all, like you, Ponyville is quite famous you see." Rarity couldn't help but feel herself blush a little bit more, something she tried in vain to hide. "And now that I'm here. I have to say," Risen Flagg said as he looked right into Rarity's eyes. "I deeply regret not coming sooner even more." At this point. Rarity was at a loss for words. What he said to her... about her... really.... she just couldn't take it. She'd heard about how charming Risen Flagg was in the papers, but meeting him in person was a whole other matter altogether. She didn't even mind the fact that Trixie was with him, or the fact that she was giving her a glaring daggers look. It only made her want to try even more.

"I see..." Rarity said. "Would you mind if I asked you a question... Risen?"

"Oh, not at all, Ms. Rarity," At that, Rarity took a moment to regain her former composure before continuing. It took all of her willpower to keep herself from blushing.

"What does a common pony like yourself have to do," as she said this, she slowly started moving closer, much to Trixie's dismay. "To climb the social ladder as far as you have?" Risen Flagg just chuckled to himself at that for a moment.

"Do you want to know something Rarity?" Risen Flagg replied as he leaned in closer. Rarity, in response, leaned in closer to him as well. Gently, his hoof caressed her cheek and tossed her mane aside a little so that he could get at her ear. She could feel him, his mouth moving closer to her. It took all of her willpower to keep herself from bursting into flames. "I don't like elitists." At that, all of the willpower it took to keep Rarity from bursting into flames disappeared in an instant. Not because she did, but because she no longer felt the urge to. After Risen Flagg had said those words, he backed away from her again.

"Wha.... Wha...." was all Rarity could say.

"Rarity Rarity Rarity..." Flagg said in the usual charming voice he did, but something was different this time. "You're practically transparent, I can see right through you." Those words hit Rarity harder than any other he'd said to her so far. "You're clearly from a lower class, midwestern family and you're so ashamed of your heritage that you're doing everything you can to try and distance yourself from it. So much so that you fake that Prench accent that you do and see fit to climb the social ladder any way you can. Let me guess, you see yourself fitting in more in Canterlot than you do here?" Rarity... was silent at that. "I thought so. You would do whatever you could to distance yourself from this town and go to a place where you feel as if you are more wanted. All for the sake of your own selfish desires." At that, the look on his face changed drastically. "I did not through sheer force of will and determination claw my way to the top and become a senator simply for my own selfish needs, and I certainly did not abandon who I was in order to 'fit in' was it were. No, I made Canterlot society my bitch, I bent it over and did what I would to it. You..." he said as he looked right into Rarity's eyes. She was beyond words at this point. "You would let anypony stick whatever he wanted into every hole you have if it meant that you could climb just an inch on the social ladder, and why? Just for your own self interest." Rarity.... she couldn't even think right now. "You are a beautiful mare Ms. Rarity. Kind and generous, befitting of the element you wield, but at heart, you are still an elitist, and I don't associate myself with ponies like that."

With those words, Risen Flagg turned and walked away from here. Rarity was to shocked at his words to even pay attention to him. Trixie even threw her a smirk as well, but she ignored it. What he said to her... it....

Also Rarity, you overhear Roseluck loudly going over what she wants to do to this guy and your addiction demands you interfere.

Off in the distance, she noticed some other pony talking to another nicely dressed... handsome stallion. It was Roseluck. That mare who ran the flower shop. No.... How could Roseluck get something like that while she was left squandering in the dirt. Brushing back whatever tears she may have had, Rarity did her best not to let Risen's words bother her and regain what was left of her former composure as she made her way towards that.... sexy as all tartarus... stallion.... Oh, and Roseluck too.

-Elsewhere Elsewhere Elsewhere Elsewhere Elsewhere-

Out in the middle of the sea of ponies, after she was done talking to Jason. Pinkie Pie had saw fit to bounce her way through the crowd of ponies, shaking her rump like a polaroid picture as it were. If she had a polaroid picture, she would probably shake that too. the beat of the music radiated throughout her body as she was just about to let go of the urge NOT to break out into and epic dance as she began humming the tune to the music to herself.

"Pssssssst....." Somepony suddenly whispered to her. She knew it was at her, her Pinkie senses told her so. She turned around, and saw nopony. "Pssssttt.... Pinkie Pie." At that, Pinkie Pie turned around again and came face to face with a dark grey, unicorn stallion with a dark brown mane and tail and what looked like a red A in a circle for a cutie mark smiling right at her.

Pinkie Pie didn't even need to guess who it was, and the longer she stared at him, her own smile only grew even bigger.

"RAZOR BAZER!!!!" Pinkie Pie shouted as she literally glomped Razor and almost tackled him to the floor, but he held his ground. "OH MY-"

"SSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" the pony avatar of Razor the awesome shushed her as he put a hoof to her mouth. "Not so f:yay:cking damned loud," he whispered. "Do you want everypony here to know that I'm here?"

"Sorry," Pinkie Pie nervously replied as she got off of him.

"It's all right," Razor responded. "They didn't hear your little outburst there, so it's all right. I made sure of that."

"Ooooohhh... Okay," Pinkie Pie said. She was silent for only a few more microseconds though before she ran at Razor again and gave him a BIG hug. "Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh all my goshes I am SO SO SO SO SOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSO glad that you could make it!" Pinkie Pie 'quietly' shouted at Razor as she hugged him. "You didn't show up last chapter with the other cameos and I know that there were more in this chapter but you still weren't here and I was worried that you-"

"Hey, I'm the author remember," Razor said to Pinkie Pie as she kept hugging him, he simply hugged her back. "I can appear whenever I damn well please. And I didn't appear last time cause I knew you were expecting me to. So yes, I was just messing with you." Pinkie Pie couldn't help but laugh at that. After a few more moments of silent hugging, Pinkie Pie let go of Razor Bazer and just looked at him right in his eyes for a moment.

"So, um..." Pinkie Pie said, now it was her turn to be a bit nervous. "Since you're here now and all, and the music is still going, wanna dance?" Razor's pony avatar only rubbed the back of his head at that.

"Dance?" he said in confusion, or was it indecisiveness... or both. "Um.... I don't know," yeah, it was definitely nervousness. "I really don't dance that much, and I kind of need to get to writing everything that happens in Jason's perspective so- GAH!!!" Before he could even finish, Pinkie Pie grabbed him by both his forehooves and dragged him out to the center of the sea of ponies where the dance floor was.

"Do you like Huey Lewis and the News?" Pinkie Pie randomly asked him as they got here, and she made him put his hooves around her, while she put her hooves around him. "Their early work was a little to new wave for my tastes but when sports came out in 83 I really think they came into their own commercially and artistically the whole album has a clear crisp sound and a new sheen of consummate professionalism that really gives the songs a big boost he's been compared to Elvis Costello but I think Huey has a far more bitter cynical sense of humor in 87 Huey released this Fore their most accomplished album I think their undisputed masterpiece is Hip to be Square a song so catchy most ponies don't even listen to the lyrics but they should because it's not just a song about the pleasures of conformity and the importance of trends it's-"

"Also a personal statement about the band itself," Razor finished for her with a grin on his face. Pinkie Pie couldn't help but smile identically at that, and at that, with the music already kicked in. The two danced. Use whatever your imagination is telling you to picture just how Pinkie Pie and Razor are dancing to this song.

-Elsewhere Elsewhere Elsewhere Elsewhere Elsewhere Elsewhere back to Jason's perspective-

Well, you're fucked. With a knife. That's strapped to a cactus. That is on fire. And poisoned.

You're faced with a choice. YOLO it and walk the dinosaur, just to see Risen's reaction, or attempt to keep close to someone who can protect you.

Why isn't Twilight back from Canterlot yet?!?!

To Jason:
Wait, wait wait!! Jason, you can't do anything to Risen Flagg just yet, you see, you are trapped!
By societal convention!

Look, you are in a fine party environment. Everyone knows not to throw a scene in a fancy party!
That’s right. You’re trapped. Just enjoy the party.............and wait until he walks out of the building and make that ****er implode out of existence

Jason, you should remain calm, but careful. Remain on guard. I would say something like, "Be as careful around Risen Flagg as you would a raging lion," but, well, Risen could probably kill every lion in existance easily and in the blink of an eye... So, uhh, treat him like a guy who could kill every lion alive in an instant, I guess. But, yeah... Regardless of the... Outer God hellbent on your death in front of you... stay calm. You won't get anywhere by freaking the hell out, other than weird looks by the ponies. So, yeah, don't freak out. And don't run out, either. You came here expecting him to come here. No point in running now. Besides, to be honest, I doubt you could get away, anyway. So just do the normal careful stuff. Be aware of your surroundings, making sure not to get caught off-guard. Maybe do some latin-y magic to help out with that. Something like, "See without seeing" on Risen Flagg, maybe.

Well, that's it. You're done... you're f:yay:cked.... With a knife... that's on fire... and attatched to a cactus... and incredibly large cactus... that's poisoned... and explosive. You're trapped in here with him, at this party. You barely manage to keep yourself from falling onto your ass as your legs barely give out. You feel your breath shorten again..... Good god you're having another panic attack aren't you?

You take a moment and breathe, just breathe.... You've got to get out of here, but you can't just leave, this is your party after all, and they'd notice if you were gone.

'F:yay:ck!' you scream to yourself in your head. You really are trapped here.

You take a few moments and just breathe. You don't fall down, they'd surely notice that, and thank God you didn't have a drink or you would have dropped that too. You breathe, and take a moment to try and get yourself calm.

Both your inner Batman and Doctor, as well as your inner King Arthur do some quick rationalizing for you.

You can't do anything to Risen Flagg here, but neither can he. If he wanted you dead, you'd be dead already. If anything you know about him is true, then he's pretty much a god. So you need to be careful around him, as if he were a lion. A raging lion.... a raging lion that could disintegrate all raging lions as well as regular lions in the world on an instant if he wanted to. So yeah, treat him like that. If he could do that, then he would have done it to you already. He's not here to kill you. At least, not yet.

With that in mind, you get yourself calm for a brief moment. Then, you get yourself calmed back down. Okay, in your head you're still freaking out, but it's the best you can do. Still, you're here, at a party. You might as well enjoy it while you can. So with that in mind you head over to the punch bowl to grab some punch.

Keep an eye on Flagg. Something is seriously off about that pony, but you can't place it, and you really, really want to confront him about it, but your inner Doctor keeps nagging you not to. Maybe you should go ask what Braeburn and Little Strongheart think of him.

As you walk over there, you keep your eye on Risen Flagg, well, the corner of your eye at least. You don't let him out of your sights. Seriously, something is bugging you about him, and your inner Doctor is screaming that the most. The thought occurs to ask either Braeburn or Little Strongheart about him, but you haven't seen either of them since you walked in here. You wonder where they got off too.

Jason, suddenly you have the urge to cast a 'true sight' spell… you have the EXTREME URGE, but wether or not you live up to it is up to you (looking at you for this one, Razor-bazor [and yes, I DID just use Pinkie's nicknaming thing on you… this is the only time it will happen, I promise}!].

You do have an urge to do some sort of "True Sight" thing on him with your newly found Latin Powers, but then it dawns on you. You already tried that when he first got here, and it didn't work. So, as powerful as he is, he can get right through your latin powers. You also get the idea to put some sort of mental barrier around yourself, or to try and read his thoughts, but you're thinking those won't work either. You keep contemplating this as you reach the punch bowl.

Well, don't let him know that you are on to him. Enjoy the party as if his presence doesn't bother you. If you wanna walk the dinosaur, you can, but only if the song comes on. Also, put up a barrier on your thoughts and mind so that he can't read them. Also try and detect if he is using any form of evil/manipulative magic.

Also, at the party, the three of them get separated and now is your chance to get some information. Go after the weak link. The Blue Mare with the silver mane who has really been hitting the hard punch and is a bit tipsy. Just chat with her over the punch bowl and learn about her, give her some info about yourself, but nothing important that can be relayed back to her boss like who your friends are or what your plans are with the mane 6 or your own magic. Then discreetly probe her mind with your powers to see if there is any proof of Risen Flagg's evilness. Maybe a memory of when she lapsed in fear when he was angry.

Also, that "Butler" looking pony seems unnatural. Maybe you should use "detect undead" because he is friggin pale.

As you turn around to pour yourself some punch, you see Risen Flagg split up from his two friends... associates... whatever they are. The butler one still creeps you out, so you're going to avoid him. Just now it also occurs to you why in the hell Twilight Sparkle isn't back from Canterlot yet. Seriously, where is she?

You also see though, that the blue one with the silver mane, she seems kind of lost without Risen. Almost nervous, afraid to talk to anypony. Your inner Batman picks up on this. You wanted information on Risen Flagg before, but nopony knew anything. This pony seems like she could be some kind of odd one out. She'd know something, and with a little prodding, she might just answer a question or two. Or none, but it's better than nothing. Okay, now that you're calm, you've thought of a gameplan. Or at least, one for now. You're going to see if you can talk to her, she what she tells you. With any luck she-.

"Jason Morgan I presume," you suddenly hear a VERY familiar voice say. With a speed that could rival the flash, all while not spilling the newly acquired punch cup in your hand, you turn around.... and look right into the face of Risen Flagg... who is standing right in front of you.

execute plan : exit stage right, also known as RUN LITTLE MAN, RUN!

'OH SH:yay:T OH F:yay:CK OH SH:yay:T OH F:yay:CK OH SH:yay:T OH F:yay:CK OH SH:yay:T OH F:yay:CK!!!' You scream repeatedly in your head. You were so mentally focused on your gameplan with Trixie that you lost Risen Flagg for a moment. CRAP! Now he's right here. Talking to you.

You've got to get out of here. F:yay:ck the party conventions. YOU HAVE GOT TO-

"I must apologize for my rudeness when we first met," Risen says to you. "I was not exactly having, as you would call it, a good say, and I was already angry enough when you arrived in Canterlot with Celestia. So I believe I might have given you the wrong impression, and for that I am sorry. Rest assured, I hold no ill will towards you." He says this to you, and the look in his eyes.... you can't quite place it. Though inwardly you're still freaking out.

Well, I think it is best to AVOID CONFRONTATION with him at this particular moment. I would furthermore suggest going against your desire to perambulate the prehistoric avian predecessor, or to delay performing such an action for the moment. Instead, why not acquaint yourself with the nice pony who knew about humans? There is a chance that you could become acquaintances or even friends with such a fellow sapient being. (See? I can make serious comments when I want to.)

...Why didn't we think of this before?

JASON. Talk to Flagg, make friendly conversation, be so nice to him that it's frankly unnerving...
...And make a mental note to turn yourself into a unicorn at the first opportunity possible.

However, as if by some miracle, your rational mind takes over again, probably thanks to your inner Doctor and Batman, and you manage to calm yourself down again.

"Don't worry about it," you say as you drink your newly acquired punch. Risen Flagg just smiles at that.

"Since we got off on the wrong foot last time," he says. "Perhaps it's in both of our best interests if we got better acquainted."

So.... Risen Flagg is right here in front of you, and he wants to talk, TO YOU apparently, and he's not leaving.

What do you say to him?

What do you ask him?

What do you do?

-Side Story-

-The Dalek Flagship, The Caesar-

*Several Dalek drones are patrolling my last known location*

Dalek Drone 1:The master is not detected anywhere!

Drone 2: We must report this to Dalek Antares!

Other Drones: AFFIRMATIVE! Reporting to Antares!

???: GROOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHH

Drones: …

Drone 4: What in the name of the Emperor was that?

*the following 4 lines are said in unison*

Drone 6: It is coming from the left!

Drone 5: No, it is coming from in front!

Drone 3: No, it is coming from the right!

Drone 7: No, it is coming from behind!

*momentary silence, as all the Drones turn in their called-out directions, to Drone 2*

Drone 2: … I heard the noise from above! *sudden realization* *slowly looks up*

???: REAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH! *leaps onto Drone 2, and rips its eyestalk out

*Unknown creature rolls about on the floor, toying with the eyestalk ad carrying it in one of its multiple mouths, while shaking an arm… located on the tail area…*

Drones (barring 2): WHAT IS THAT?

Drone 2: MY EYE! AAAAAAGGGHHH!

The Auxiliary Generator Room

*Several Dalek Drones enter the Auxiliary Generator room patrolling Swimming Dalek's last known location.*

Dalek Drone 1:The master is not detected anywhere!

Drone 2: We must report this to Dalek Antares!

Drone 3: AFFIRMATIVE! Reporting to Antares!

???: GROOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHH

Drones: …

Drone 4: What in the name of the Emperor was that?

*Suddenly, they all hear noise, as if something is moving around them.*

Drone 6: It is coming from the left!

Drone 5: No, it is coming from in front!

Drone 3: No, it is coming from the right!

Drone 7: No, it is coming from behind!

*There is momentary silence, as all the Drones turn in their called-out directions, to Drone 2*

Drone 2: … I heard the noise from above! *slowly looks up*

???: REAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH! *leaps onto Drone 2, and rips its eyestalk out

*An Unknown creature rolls about on the floor, toying with the eyestalk ad carrying it in one of its multiple mouths, while shaking an arm… located on the tail area…*

Remaining Drones: WHAT IS THAT?

Drone 2: MY EYE! AAAAAAGGGHHH!

-Appaloosa-

-The AIA Headquarters-

*Grey Rebl ran, not walked, not jogged, or even fast walked, RAN, back to the communications room as quickly as his pony body could take him. If they had established contact with the aliens again, he NEEDED to be there for this. Without slowing down, he rushed into the communications room, right at the screen, and spoke into the coms.*

Grey Rebl: This is Director Grey Rebl of the Appaloosa Intelligence Agency.

Steve (on the other end): Oh thank f:yay:cking Christ you're there!

GR: Hacker 1? What's going on up there? What's wrong with our connection? Why isn't it green? Where's Nana?

Steve: Do you want the long version or the short?

-The Enterprise-

-The bridge-
Scotty: THAT'S IT! I'M DONE! Sulu, take command. You, get your glorified computer virus here and try to disarm or figure out or... I DON'T CARE! If anyone needs me, I'll be in my quarters, making friends with Bones' scotch and contemplating the mistakes I've made in my life.
* a minute of silence passes*
RA: So.... you were saying about the spiders?

Sulu: Someone please knock him out. And BRP, bring Hugh over here and we'll see about the spiders. Hackers.... keep hacking. The rest of you, your standing orders are unaffected. Watch them like hawks. I need to go calm Scotty down.

R.A.: So.... can I play with the exploding robot spiders?

Everyone in a 50 meter radius of him: NO!

R.A.: Awww...

-The Bridge-

*Scotty just stands where is his for a few moments before he finally snaps.*

Scotty: THAT'S IT! I'M DONE! Sulu, take command. You, get your glorified computer virus here and try to disarm or figure out or... I DON'T CARE! If anyone needs me, I'll be in my quarters, making friends with Bones' scotch and contemplating the mistakes I've made in my life.

*a minute of silence passes*

Registered Anonymous: So.... can I play with the exploding robot spiders?

Everyone in a 50 meter radius of him: NO!

RA: Awww...

Sulu: Someone please knock him out. And BRP, bring Hugh over here and we'll see about the spiders. Hackers.... keep hacking. The rest of you, your standing orders are unaffected. Watch them like hawks.

BRP (on the other end of the coms): I am sorry Sulu, but ... We have come too far to turn back now. I have a theory about those alternate realities by the way. What if realities are just stories? As if a reality is created, not for us to tell OUR stories, but for us to LIVE other people's stories. Like, there is something writing everything that we say or do, and that person is has someone writing for them, and that person has someone writing for them? But, there is no final universe that has the original writer, so someone is being written by people in this universe, and the whole thing is one huge complex web that reaches out to every being in the history of all realities!

Hugh (on the other end of the coms): What? That sounds ridiculous. How would it start.

Sulu: agreed, also, what do you mean about coming too far to turn back? You two have been running on a treadmill for over two hours now!

RA (ignoring them): HA! You think you can just knock me out! You thi- *suddenly a poison dart hits him, but he quickly turns around and grabs it before it can stab him.* HO HA! You think that little dart trick would work on me again. Well, fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice *suddenly, another one comes up from behind him and hits him right in the neck, taking him down instantly. Everyone looks towards Doc, whose been silent this whole time.*

Doc: What? Who said that only one of us had these little babies.

Sulu: Whatever, just keep doing whatever it is your doing?

Steve: Oh thank f:yay:cking Christ you're there!

GR (on the other end, there is a bit of static): Hacker 1? What's going on up there? What's wrong with our connection? Why isn't it green? Where's Nana?

Steve: Do you want the long version or the short?

Ramirez: BRP, What's your present location?

Sulu: Slim, Jim, please tell me you have something.

Slim: Well I'm not quite sure, this is-

Jim: Hold on, I think I've got something.

Slim: Send it to me.

*As quickly as they can, they work on it.*

Sulu: Is this going to work?

Jim: It might.....

*A few more moments...*

Jim: Almost......

Slim: OKAY, I THINK WE GOT IT, GO NOW!

*Sulu and Uhura without asking any questions gets on the coms*

Sulu: This is Lieutenant Hikaru Sulu of the USS Enterprise calling Captain Kirk. Captain, do you read me?

-The Dalek Flagship, The Caesar-

BS: So, multiple realities exist. That's cool.
BRP: Apparently.
BS: And the technologies from these realities also exist.
Nana: It would follow that this would be the case.
BRP: Where are you going with this?
BS: I want a deck of Captchalogue cards, Strife cards, and Fetch modi to play with. It would make carrying stuff around SO MUCH EASIER!

BRP (dramatically...): I am sorry Sulu, but ... We have come too far to turn back now. I have a theory about those alternate realities by the way. What if realities are just stories? As if a reality is created, not for us to tell OUR stories, but for us to LIVE other people's stories. Like, there is something writing everything that we say or do, and that person is has someone writing for them, and that person has someone writing for them? But, there is no final universe that has the original writer, so someone is being written by people in this universe, and the whole thing is one huge complex web that reaches out to every being in the history of all realities!
Hugh: What? That sounds ridiculous. How would it start.
Sulu: agreed, also, what do you mean about coming too far to turn back? You two have been running on a treadmill for over two hours now!

*as soon as Sulu says this, BS looks down*
BS: Well, that's embarrassing. *to BRP* And that sounds almost as meta as "I'm so meta, even this acronym." But anyways, do you think we should probably go back, or should we keep soldiering on and try to not end up on treadmills? And WHY ARE THERE TREADMILLS ON A DALEK SHIP???? IT MAKES NO SENSE!

BRP: The fuck? How did we miss this? Anyway, we continue, but we can send Hugh through the comms link.to the Enterprise. We still need Nana to fix the internal systems.

BS: So it's decided: We'll keep going – *??? attack and subsequent screams* – uh, I mean, look for a weapon to defend ourselves with, keep going back-to-back, and fix the power. Like some sort of terrifying survival horror mission. On a Dalek ship. WELL! *claps hands together once* Let's get going.
BRP: Indeed.
*they continue onwards*
BS: Back to the topic of multiple realities. Are the various escapades of the good Doctor fictional in your reality?
Sulu: Is this conversation really necessary?
BS: Of course not. I just wanted to know more about the person I'm in a powerless Dalek space ship with while we're in likely-supernaturally mortal peril. Byee!

BRP: according to the theory, everything is fictional, and therefore, because everything has the same quality, the difference between fiction and nonfiction doesn't exist, making everything nonfictional.

BS: Well yes, from a nonlinear, non-subjective viewpoint everything is a big ball of wibbley wobbley semi-partial-nonreality stuff. But what about from the perspective of whatever reality you came from?

*Bronze Statue and BRP keep walking through the hallways.*

Bronze Statue: So, multiple realities exist. That's cool.

BRP: Apparently.

BS: And the technologies from these realities also exist.

Nana: It would follow that this would be the case.

BRP: Where are you going with this?

BS: I want a deck of Captchalogue cards, Strife cards, and Fetch modi to play with. It would make carrying stuff around SO MUCH EASIER!

BRP: *groans* I am sorry Sulu, but ... We have come too far to turn back now. I have a theory about those alternate realities by the way. What if realities are just stories? As if a reality is created, not for us to tell OUR stories, but for us to LIVE other people's stories. Like, there is something writing everything that we say or do, and that person is has someone writing for them, and that person has someone writing for them? But, there is no final universe that has the original writer, so someone is being written by people in this universe, and the whole thing is one huge complex web that reaches out to every being in the history of all realities!

Hugh: What? That sounds ridiculous. How would it start.

Sulu (on the other end of the coms): agreed, also, what do you mean about coming too far to turn back? You two have been running on a treadmill for over two hours now!

BS: *looks down* Well, that's embarrassing. *to BRP* And that sounds almost as meta as "I'm so meta, even this acronym." But anyways, do you think we should probably go back, or should we keep soldiering on and try to not end up on treadmills? And WHY ARE THERE TREADMILLS ON A DALEK SHIP???? IT MAKES NO SENSE!

BRP: *Ignores BS* I mean we continue, but we can send Hugh through the comms link.to the Enterprise. We still need Nana to fix the internal systems.

BS: So it's decided: We'll keep going – *??? attack and subsequent screams* – uh, I mean, look for a weapon to defend ourselves with, keep going back-to-back, and fix the power. Like some sort of terrifying survival horror mission. On a Dalek ship. WELL! *claps hands together once* Let's get going.

BRP: Indeed.

BS: Yes, but back to the topic of multiple realities. Are the various escapades of the good Doctor fictional in your reality?

BRP: Is this conversation really necessary?

BS: Of course not. I just wanted to know more about the person I'm in a powerless Dalek space ship with while we're in likely-supernaturally mortal peril. Byee!

BRP: Okay.... Well, according to the theory, everything is fictional, and therefore, because everything has the same quality, the difference between fiction and nonfiction doesn't exist, making everything nonfictional.

BS: Well yes, from a nonlinear, non-subjective viewpoint everything is a big ball of wibbley wobbley semi-partial-nonreality stuff. But what about from the perspective of whatever reality you came from?

Ramirez (on the other end of the coms): BRP, what's your present location?

BS: That's what I'd like to know! BUT HE REFUSES TO KEEP TELLING ME!

BRP: I keep telling you WE ARE NOT-

*They suddenly enter the Auxilery Generator Room*

BRP: Oh look, we're here.

Author's Note

status: edited

Conversing with Risen Flagg WITH A VENGEANCE (Okay I'm going to stop doing this now)

-Outside-

Captain Kirk quietly got outside of Sugarcube corner just behind a group of ponies that were obviously stoned. He heard one of them mention an orgy, and as interesting to him as that seemed, there were more pressing matters at hand right now. As quickly and discreetly as he could, he walked around to the side of the building and pulled out his communicator, which would not stop beeping.

"Kirk here, come in Enterprise," he eagerly said into it.

"Captain............" Sulu's voice came from the other side, followed by a lot of static. "What is your............. We've been....... Sh................... hack........."

"Could you repeat that Sulu?" Kirk said as the static kept coming. "There seems to be quite a bit of interference. I didn't quite catch what you said."

"Captain......" Sulu's voice echoed through the communicator again, followed by more static. "I sa-" Before he could even finish that one word, his voice suddenly dropped from the communicator, as did the static.

"Sulu," Kirk said, trying to sound calm. "Sulu come in." Sulu didn't respond. "Enterprise. Enterprise this is Kirk, come in." His communicator remained silent. "F*ck!" Kirk yelled as loud as he could as he threw the communicator on the ground.

-Back inside-

Pinkie Pie Party Round 2 Song 3

Out Here by Pendulum

Off in the distance, he saw his cousin's friend Rainbow Dash talking with a jet black stallion with a purple mane and tail.

In front of the black unicorn a orange earth pony with a brown mane and a pencil writing in a notebook for a cutie mark appears in front of him.

???: Seth what are you doing here?

Seth: What? Who are you?

???: I... Damnit! I didn't think of a name for this Ponsona... Let's see the SES in my user name... Just all me Straight Edge.

Seth: Uh... okay... How do you know me? And how did you teleport like that, you're clearly not a unicorn.

S.E.: That's not important, what is important is that you're in the wrong universe. You're supposed to be in the dimensional battle royale with Razor and Filia. Even if you weren't you'd still be in the wrong universe.

Seth: Oh, so that's why Rainbow didn't recognize me.

S.E.: No shit Sherlock. Besides the Rainbow Dash in this universe is a lesbian.

RD: NO I'M NOT!

S.E.: Ignore her. Anyways back to where you belong. And don't worry you won't remember any of this, like the Poker Night stories, and Death Battle Equestria.

Seth: Wait Wh...

With a flash of light Seth is gone.

S.E.: Welp that's taken care of, now what to do... Eh Razor's here I'll go introduce myself and see how long it takes him to figure out who I am.

As the earth pony walks through the crowd of ponies he passes Line Draft, gives a shit eating grin, says, "He's still alive.", and continues on his way.

Back inside the party, the black unicorn that was talking to Rainbow Dash a few seconds earlier was walking away with his held held low when suddenly an orange earth pony with a brown mane and a pencil writing in a notebook for a cutie mark appeared in front of him. There wasn't any magic of a flash of light, and he wasn't a unicorn so there was no way he could have teleported in. It was more like one second he wasn't there, and the next he was. Kind of like a glitch in time.

"Seth, what are you doing here?" the orange pony asked the black unicorn.

"Wait, who are you?" The black unicorn, Seth, asked him, now more confused than anything.

"I'm...." the orange pony was about to say, but then stopped himself. "Damnit! I didn't even think of a name for this persona. Um....." he put his hoof to his chin in thought for a moment. "Let's see... SES is in my username so........ just call me Straight Edge."

"Uh, okay," Seth said to him, now even more confused. "Okay, one, how do you know my name, and two, how did you teleport in like that? You're obviously not a unicorn, you're clearly not a unicorn."

"That's not important," Straight Edge responded. "What is important is that you're in the wrong universe. You're supposed to be in the Dimensional Battle Royale universe with Razor's OC and Filia. Even if you weren't you'd still be in the wrong universe."

"Oh, so that's why Rainbow didn't recognize me," Seth, who had had experience in the past with multiple universes, responded with sudden understanding.

"No shit Sherlock," Straight Edge responded to Seth. "Besides, the Rainbow Dash in this universe is a closet lesbian."

"NO I'M NOT!!!!!" Rainbow Dash, who had been listening in on their conversation for some reason shouted at the top of her lungs.

"Ignore her," Straight Edge said to Seth.

"Wait, really, she is?" Seth asked with a strange curiosity in his voice.

"Yeah," Straight Edge responded. "Want proof, look at the way she looks at Applejack as she walks by." At that, both Seth and Straight Edge turned to look in Rainbow Dash's direction. Surely enough, as they turned to look, Applejack walked across the party in front of Rainbow Dash. More importantly though, as Applejack walked past Rainbow Dash, Rainbow Dash's eyes seemed to follow her every step as she kept staring down at her. Staring down... as if she wasn't staring at her face... and her eyes seemed to move back and forth a bit, as if she was following something that was swaying. Rainbow Dash also blushed a little bit as Applejack's luscious rump escaped her yet again.

"Oh my," Seth said, now blushing a little himself.

"Anyways," Straight Edge said after that had ended. "Back to where you belong, and don't worry you won't remember any of this, like the Poker Night series or Death Battle Equestria. Speaking of which I should probably get on that."

"Wait wha-" Before Seth could even finish that sentence, just as Straight Edge had suddenly appeared in this story, so too has Seth disappeared back into the Dimensional Battle Royale universe where he was needed.

"Whelp, that's taken care of," Straight Edge said to himself. "Now what to do.... Eh, Razor's here. I'll go introduce myself and see how long it takes him to figure out who I am." And at that, Straight Edge turned around and made his way through the crowd of ponies to find Razor.

-Elsewhere Elsewhere Elsewhere Elsewhere Elsewhere Elsewhere Elsewhere Elsewhere "WILL YOU STOP THAT!!!!??? THAT JOKE'S GETTING OLD!!!" Sorry Pinkie. "It's okay that's what I'm here for."-

*Roseluck's ears flicker at the sound of Hip to be Square playing over the sounds of the party*

Roseluck: Isn't this that song that played during the training video you showed me?

Line Draft: Hmm? *sips on a cup of punch*

RL: You know, based on that book you said Twilight tried to get banned from the library.

LD: That wasn't a training video.

RL: Really?

LD: Nope, just something I put on while I was working and you were over watering the flowers.

RL: Huh.

Rarity saunters up to the pair, Roseluck smiling friendly at her while Line Draft sipped on the cup of punch.

Rarity: Hello, Rose.

RL: Rarity, how are you?

RY: Fine, totally not thinking about dicks.

RL: What?

RY: Anyway, who is this hunk of stallion meat you have with you tonight?

LD: Evening. My name is Line Draft.

RY: Oh, what do you do for a living?

LD: I'm an architect.

RY: Fascinating... Are you presently seeing anypony?

LD: Beg pardon.

RY: You know, seeing anypony cordially with the high chance of officiating the office while lying betwixt the sheets?

LD: Rarity are you implying that...

RY: I WANT YOU!

RL and LD: WHAT!?

RY: I WANT YOU SO BAD!

LD: Rarity, I am flattered and all but the answer is...

RY: YES!?

RL: *in an instance, watching Rarity make moves on her stallion, or at least what Roseluck BELIEVED, heavy on that BELIEVED people, something began to awaken inside of her that started as a low burn and then all at once burst into flames rising higher and higher with each motion, her breathing become faster paced than usual. She was jealous, jealous that this pony was making moves on HER stallion, though to be fair he was only hers in her imagination, but still the point remained.*

RY: *her hoof slipped down his coat, lower and lower until finally Rarity achieved levels of uncomfortableness unfathomed by all the gods in all the realms*

LD: RARITY!

RY: Enjoying yourself?

RL: *raises her hoof, pulling it back as far as possible, she leapt forward and struck Rarity full on in the face* GET AWAY FROM HIM YOU BITCH!

RY: *rubbing her face after flying about ten feet backwards* What’s your problem!

RL: This stallion is MINE, got that, RARITY!

RY: Well, I don’t see a wedding band so that means he’s fair *punches Roseluck* GAME!

RL: *does not flinch and just stands there with Rarity’s hoof in her face* You shouldn’t have done that.

RY: Now, let’s be reasonable, Rose, I am the more desirable candidate when it comes to love.

RL: OH REALLY!?

RY: Yes, you are rather plain and lack a desirable complexion.

RL: *hits Rarity again, this time knocking her twenty feet back into the heart of the party at the hooves of Pinkie Pie, her ‘companion’ and a few other very enthusiastic commenters making cameos* AT LEAST I AM NOT A STALLION SUCKING CELESTIA DAMNED MOTHERF**KING SUCUBUS WHO CAN’T KEEP A MATE BECAUSE OF AN OBESSEION TO GARGLE THE NEAREST PHALLAC APPENDAGE!

Meanwhile in Line Draft’s Head:

LD: You do realize that she’s going to kill, Rarity right?

DXIV: Yeah, but I want to see how close she gets before we have to stop.

LD: She looks like she’s about to curb stomp her into the wood floor.

DXIV: Wait for it….

Roseluck's ear flickered a little bit as the song Hip to be Square reached it's end.

"Say, wasn't that the song that played during the training video that you showed me?" she asked Line Draft.

"Hmm," was Line Draft's only response as he sipped his cup of punch.

"You know, the one based on that book that you said Twilight was trying to get banned from the library," Roseluck said.

"That wasn't a training video," Line Draft responded.

"Really?" Roseluck responded, now suddenly confused.

"Nope," Line Draft responded again to her. "That was just something I put on while I was working and you were over watering flowers."

"Huh," was all Roseluck had to say to that. Before another thought could enter the speech center of her brain, Rarity suddenly sauntered up to the pair seemingly out of nowhere. When she saw her, Roseluck just smiled in a friendly manner while Line Draft took another sip of his punch.

"Hello, Rose," Rarity said to Roseluck in her usual manner.

"Rarity, how are you?" Roseluck asked her good acquaintance. Sure she'd seen her around the flower shop from time to time, but they never really got to know each other that well.

"Fine..." Rarity responded. "Just fine. Really, I am perfectly all right. There is nothing wrong at all."

"Oooookay," Roseluck said, not really believing her.

"Anyway," Rarity continued. "Who is this hunk of a stallion meat you have with you tonight?" Rarity asked, her eyes only on Line Draft.

"Evening," Line Draft politely said to her as he held out a hoof. "My name is Line Draft."

"Oh," Rarity cooed as she took his hoof and shook it like a lady would. "And what do you do you a living?"

"I'm an architect," Line Draft said to her, still the same as ever.

"Fascinating..." Rarity said. She was silent for a moment as her eyes quickly looked down towards the ground, then back up at Line Draft's eyes. "Are you presently seeing anypony?"

"Beg pardon?" Line Draft responded as he raised an eyebrow.

"You know," Rarity said as she took a step a bit closer to Line Draft. "Seeing anypony cordially with the high chance of officiating the office while lying betwixt the sheets?" When she finished that sentence, she was close enough to touch him. Line Draft was silent for a few moments before he spoke again.

"Rarity..." he said a bit nervously. "Are you implying that-"

"I WANT YOU!!!" Rarity practically shouted before he could finish.

"WHAT!?" Both Line Draft and Roseluck shouted seemingly in unison.

"I WANT YOU SO BAD!" Rarity clarified, ignoring Roseluck, but not Line Draft.

"Rarity," Line Draft tried to speak. "I'm flattered but the answer is-"

"YES!" Rarity practically screamed again before he could finish. Then, in an instant, Roseluck watched Rarity make a move on her stallion, or at least what Roseluck believed, with a very heavy emphasis on the word believed, to be her stallion, as Rarity slipped a hoof down his coat lower and lower until she had reached a level of uncomfortableness unfathomable by all of the gods. As Roseluck watched this, something began to awaken inside of her that started as a low burn and then all at once burst into flames rising higher and higher with each motion, her breathing become faster paced than usual. She was jealous, jealous that this pony was making moves on HER stallion, though to be fair he was only hers in her imagination, but still the point remained.

"Enjoying yourself?" Rarity asked Line Draft in the most sultry tone she could possibly conjure up.

"GET AWAY FROM HER YOU BITCH!" Roseluck screamed as she pulled her hoof back as far as she could and struck Rarity right in the face. The resulting impact knocked her away from Line Draft and onto the floor. Rarity, seemingly unable to believe what Roseluck just did, could only look up at her with a look of complete shock on her face as she rubbed the stop where she got hit.

"What is your problem!?" Rarity finally asked after the initial shock wore off.

"This stallion is mine. MINE!" Roseluck screamed at Rarity. "Got that Rarity!"

"Well...." Rarity replied as she got back up onto her hooves. "I don't see a wedding band so that means that he's-" Right as Rarity said that last word she punched Roseluck in the face. "Fair game." Unlike Rarity though, Roseluck did not get knocked down, in fact, she did not even flinch, she just stood there with Rarity's hoof in her face.

"You should not have done that," Roseluck quietly said to Rarity as her expression became more and more... well, darker, for lack of a better word.

"Now, now," Rarity said as she pulled her hoof back. "Let’s be reasonable, Rose, I am the more desirable candidate when it comes to love."

"OH REALLY!" Roseluck said, her anger levels rising.

"Yes," Rarity said, as if she didn't even give a single f*ck. "You are rather plain and lack a desirable complexion." Right as she finished that sentence, Roseluck leapt onto Rarity and tackled her to the ground.

"AT LEAST I AM NOT A STALLION SUCKING CELESTIA DAMNED MOTHERF**KING SUCCUBUS WHO CAN’T KEEP A MATE BECAUSE OF AN OBSESSION TO GARGLE THE NEAREST PHALLIC APPENDAGE!"

"YOU BITCH!" Rarity screamed as she grabbed a bit of Roseluck's mane and then headbutted her. "HOW DARE YOU CALL ME THAT!" Then at that, Rarity got back up and threw another punch at Roseluck, who deflected it by grabbing it with her forehooves and flipping Rarity over onto the ground again and getting on top of her. Rarity responded by grabbing Roseluck and rolling her over so that she was on top of her before throwing another punch. Roseluck in turn reached up and grabbed Rarity's mane, which she then used to pull Rarity back down towards the ground before she rolled over and got back on top of her.

-Meanwhile, in Line Draft's head-

"You do realize that she's going to kill her right?" the voice of Line Draft said to the one who was his user and creator.

"Yes," the voice of DaedaltheusXIV responded to him. "But I want to see how close she gets before we have to stop her."

"She looks like she’s about to curb stomp her into the wood floor," Line Draft said to DaedaltheusXIV.

"Wait for it," was the only thing DaedaltheusXIV had to say about that.

-Meanwhile, back outside Line Draft's head not too far away-

Not too far away, at the edge of the party looking in, a brown pitt bull/shar pei mix dog wearing sunglasses was watching the ensuing catfight.

"Twenty bits says that Rarity kicks her ass," the dog said to Thunderlane, who happened to be standing right next to him.

"Wait, did you just talk?" Thunderlane replied with immense confusion as he looked down at the strange brown dog.

"Um..." the brown dog said to himself as it quickly dawned on him what he just did. "No......"

At that, Thunderlane just turned around and walked away... as quickly as he could. The brown dog just watched him for for a moment before he shrugged to himself and went back to watching the catfight.

-And Back to Jason's Perspective-

Lazertheawesome trolls all over the place!

As you stand there terrified of the pony in front of you, off in the distance you notice another pony who looks exactly like the DJ, but is an earth pony and is for some reason shooting lasers from his eyes. They aren't hurting anypony or anything, he's just shooting lasers.

'Huh, weird,' you think to yourself at that before you look back down at Risen Flagg.

Well, you are calm and calculating, and so you can remain so in conversation with him. Just like Batman can talk down Darkseid, or the Doctor can scold a freaking living planet, so too can you get through this conversation with confidence.

Alright, in the conversation, be nice and polite. No reason to be rude- that wouldn't help anything. Here you are, having some punch with an Outer God. No reason to piss it off. So, be nice. Don't call him out directly. Just say some stuff that might cause him to show signs of his true self, without being a douchebag about it. Relatively normal things, or, barring that, stuff that would sound completely random to others, but, to him, would make sense, and, as such, may spark a reaction. A few examples, with the mindset that- him being an Outer God and all- he already knows what you know about him:

Main story: Not only do you have your inner Doctor's ingenuity and weirdness, you also channeled his charismatic diplomacy, so you have become the most smoothest speaker in this conversation. Also, Batman and the Doctor is poking in the details and trying to drive the conversation in your favor. Why have all this confidence suddenly? Probably because those two finally had enough of you being a pussy. THEY fought beings like Risen before.
Examine your opponent. As of you've gathered from him, he has this odd charisma, a way with words, noticing how he speaks, and he is loved by the mares around him. He's an outer god, the kind who likes mind games. You need to pull every Love-Craftian knowledge you have to get an edge.
Cleanse your mind, and keep a cool head. Maybe he is a powerful being, but you have your tenacity to pull you through. Just do it.

To Jason:
Step 1: PANIC:raritycry:
Step 2: PANIC SOME MORE
Step 3: I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I must not fear.Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.....
Step 4: Relax, just relax, I'M TELLING YOU TO RELAX!!
Step 5: It's okay, you can do this....just breathe and go to your happy place.

Okay, you are not gonna lie to yourself right now... at all..... you are kind of freaking out right now... a lot... easily. If he weren't in front of you right now this is probably the part where you would scream your head off and run away. No, really, that's how much you are freaking out right now.

So, inwardly, you panic.

Then, suddenly, the three characters you are channeling all kick in and start telling you to get your f*cking act together. Okay, they might not be actually telling you anything, but they are kind of influencing your thoughts right now.

Each of them help you calm yourself down in different ways. Your inner Batman reminds you how he managed to talk down Darkseid without blinking, your inner Doctor reminds you of how he scolded a freaking living sun, The Black Guardian, and several other entities that claimed the title of god where he is from, and your inner King Arthur. Well, he's been through enough to tell you that you really DO need to calm yourself. Sure, Morgana wasn't a god or anything of the sort, but still.

So, with all of them telling you that, you mentally take a deep breath, calm yourself..... and still continue to panic.

Then your inner Batman punches you (figuratively of course) right in your brain and tells you "GROW SOME!"

And at that, you feel relaxed enough to actually talk to the abomination (and you know he is) standing in front of you.

First and foremost, before you do a damn thing, record all of this. Whisper something in latin akin to "Record this conversation" or something. Be as sneaky about it as you can about it. This is an Outer God, after all, so I don't know how you could manage to pull this off, but it's important- you could notice something different later, maybe- and this would help convince the others about him, if he does or says anything suspicious. Image feed as well as audio would be preffered. Hopefully this'll work, since you aren't directly targetting him, so much as you're targeting an area that happens to involve him. Heck, even if, when the recording plays, he's all blurred out or something, that alone would be suspicious. So you should do it, and hope he somehow doesn't notice.

Before another thought enters your brain though, your inner Batman chimes back in and suggests that maybe using your Latin powers there might be a way to somehow record this conversation. Maybe you can use your powers to write down everything you all say on a piece of paper, or just make it appear on a piece of paper, of give yourself perfect memory or what not.

While that is a good idea, another thought enters your mind. How could you possibly do that without him noticing? Cause lets face it, he is an OUTER GOD after all. He can probably notice everything.

Then you remember something else about your abilities. If something is possible for a human to accomplish, then you don't need to say anything in Latin at all.

"Recordabor hoc colloquium," you think to yourself just in case. Yes, the Latin abilities do need to be spoken out loud for them to have any kind of effect, but since what you're doing is just going to be remembering something, then you figure this should do it for now. You hope.

Alright Jason you are about to talk to Risen Flagg, first rule don't panic. Once you have done that perform some small talk with him, next offer him a drink and a cupcake. Sure he may be the guy going to kill you, but let's face it there is no need to be rude and become the bad guy yourself. Don't fire unless you are fired upon first that is the main rule of engagement.

"Sure," you finally open your mouth and say to Risen Flagg after what seems like a FOREVER time of panicing. "You want some punch?"

"Yes, yes I would," Risen Flagg replies to you.

"All right," you say back to him as you turn back around to pour him a cup of punch. You still keep an eye on him while you do though. As your pour him punch, both your own logical mind and your inner Batman tell you that it probably would be a good idea NEVER to mention ANYTHING about Lovecraft, your own world, or his real name, since you don't want to arouse any suspicion in yourself. After all, if you say the wrong thing, if he is who you think he is, you know that he probably can just say "f*ck it," to pretense and just erase you all right here and now.

With all of that out of your mind, you turn back around to Risen Flagg and hand him his cup of punch, which he takes from you with his own magical grasp. You then watch him take a sip of it before nodding to himself. He seems to like it.

So here you are, having punch with an outer god.

Ask after your friend in Canterlot, Twilight. He was just there, so maybe he knows something about her condition. Don't trust a word he says, though. Casually mention that you were hoping to get to know her a bit better, maybe take her on a date. While it's the farthest thing from your mind, if Twilight is right about a centaur, than the last thing Flagg would want is you coupling with a pony. Casually mention how hot some of the mares look tonight. Pretend to be interested in them.

"You say you just came from Canterlot?" you ask him.

"Yes," Risen Flagg replies calmly enough as he takes another sip of his punch.

"You didn't by any chance happen to see Twilight Sparkle before you left did you?" you ask him. Frankly, part if you is curious about how she is doing.

"Ah Yes, I quite remember encountering Miss Sparkle whilst I was in Canterlot," Risen Flagg replies as if reminiscing about something. "However, our meeting was overall a brief, given that I had official Equestrian Senate business to attend to."

"So you didn't get the chance to talk to her?" you ask.

"I'm afraid not," he replies to you. Somehow, you don't trust a word he says on that. There is silence between the two of you for a moment after that, so you take another sip of punch, as does Risen Flagg. "I am curious," he then begins to say. "How did a creature such as you happen to come into this world? Surely it was not by chance."

You take a moment to think about that. You had a feeling he would ask you something like this. It takes all of your willpower to do this, and a little help from the characters you're channeling, but you let out a little laugh to yourself at that.

"Would you believe I would brought here by accident?" you reply to him. Hey, that's not really a lie.

"An accident?" Risen Flagg replies with the raise of an eyebrow, seeming more curious.

"Yeah," you say. "Twilight accidentally summoned me into this world because she thought she needed me for something. Turned out it was a load of bullsh*t." Part of you also thinks you should bring up the centaur that Twilight wanted you for, but you hold back on that. While you know for 100% that her centaur theory was debunked by Lyra, you still feel like you shouldn't bring it up for some reason. After all, you still don't know what she wanted it for. "That's really it actually."

Ask him about his childhood.

You should ask some normal questions, too, I suppose. Ask him what he did before he became a senator, and/or what his childhood was like. I doubt he'll answer, "Oh, I was an Outer God, killin' humanity and stuff," but it'll still be interesting to see what lie he comes up with. Ask him how his senator position has been, and what he's been doing. Ask how Twilight's doing. Stuff like that. Ask who that butler pony and Trixie are, too, and how he knows and met them.

Your excuse to have him elaborate his status in society: "Sorry, I'm new here, and you seem popular around here. Should I be honored in any way?" We know this is a lie, but work with it. "I've told a little bit about myself, so it's fair that I get to know you."

"But that's enough about me," you say to him to quickly move away from the subject. "Sorry, but as you're no doubt aware, I'm kind of new around here, and you seem popular around here. So... should I be honored in any way? I mean after all, I've told you about me, so it's fair that I get to know you." You say as you take another sip of punch. "How did someone.... I'm sorry, somepony, like you become a Canterlot senator anyway? Forgive me if I seem ignorant, but I thought Equestria was run by the Princess."

"Ah, yes," Risen Flagg says, seeming eager to answer that question. "Well you see, young man, I was born in a small village on the upper east coast of Equestria, a village that I am sad to say perished in a fire when I was a young colt. From there, I found myself in the company of extended relatives in the poor suburbs of Canterlot. My aunt and uncle worked as mechanics, spurning an interest in machines within a young stallion's heart, but my true passion lay in the law. I studied my flank off for years until I got my cutie-mark and become a small time lawyer. One evening, I happened to witness some terrible acts being perpetrated against the lovely mare that now serves as my aid and decided that something must be done. Equestria is a nation that prides itself in egalitarianism but we show so little of it in our socio-cultural activities. Thus, I ran for senate, using the status as a lawyer and the money given to me by my dearly departed aunt and uncle to start up Flag Industrial Works, putting ponies to work. I ran in the senate on a ticket of equality, truth, justice and the fair treatment of all that walked under the banner of the two sisters."

"I see," you say to him. You say to him. You have to admit, that was a bit more of an elaborate story than you thought he'd come up with. Then again, he is an outer god, he's probably had a while to think about this.

Casually ask him about his assistant, Trixie. Put him off his guard by asking how he met her. After he's talked for a while, ask him if she's single.

"You said something happened to your aid, you mean Trixie?" you say to him. "How did you meet her anyway?"

"Well..." Risen Flagg says, his expression dropping a bit. "I met Trixie in Canterlot one cold night where I saved her from some rapist ruffians that attempted to sexually assault the poor thing." At this point, he then lifts his head back up to look at you, as if proud of her somehow. "I saw potential in that spunky little mare and decided to give her a job as my aid and campaign manager."

Step 7: Ask him about how things are going in Canterlot.

As much as you wanted to know more about Trixie, you could tell that was kind of a sensitive subject. After all, nobody goes through something like that and wants to talk about it. There is a couple moments of silence between you before you speak again.

"So how are things in Canterlot?" you say to change the subject again.

"The whole socio-political structure of the city is in an uproar," Risen responds seemingly without caring. "With the internal investigations into all of the departments and the corruption. The Senator from Hoofington was arrested yesterday morning for participating in a prostitution sting and the Senator from Seaddle was found guilty of drug possession."

"Interesting..." is all you have to say. You suppose even here, political corruption is a thing that exists. With that thought, your inner Batman files it away for later.

What are the projects that you are doing in order to repair Equestria, or more specifically those that making Equestria a better place to be?

"Is there anything else going on in Canterlot?" you ask him. "I mean, are there any projects that you are doing in order to repair Equestria? You said that you wanted to make Equestria a better place to be, so how are you going about doing that?"

"Aside from the rapid industrialization of the entire nation, I am presently funding and working on several projects to improve the infrastructure of Equestria. For example, we just repaired most of the major roads that run throughout the city of Canterlot, and gave them a fresh coat of paint to boot." He says to you.

Ok Jason, now is not the time for a dance off, instead, tell the quite possibly evil bastard of a pony in front of you a rather amusing anecdote about something involving small woodland animals...or a specific clown. He should enjoy it and it may bring the bonds of friendship between you. Possibly. Maybe might work. Other than that, be polite and use diplomatic language such as "interesting person" (raving lunatic) "slight difference in out views" (MAD HORSE MAD HORSE!) "We don't see eye to eye" (You are the biggest asshole I have ever met.) It is sure to work.

"You know, perhaps I am not very familiar with what happens down here in Ponyville," Risen Flagg suddenly says in a quick topic change. "But the reason for this party is something that is still eluding me. I mean, a 'hope this event doesn't traumatize for you life party,' I still don't see what that is about."

"Oh," you say as calmly as you can. You had a feeling that he would have known something about that, but you didn't take into account that Pinkie Pie would have put that on the invitation to this party. You make a mental note to potentially scold her later for that. She almost cost you some information if he did know something.

"Oh, that. Well, it's not exactly a pleasant story," you begin to tell him before you take another sip of your punch, which finishes it off. "I was attacked."

"Attacked, you say," Risen Flagg says, now even more curious.

"Yeah," you say. "I was in the nearby forest when suddenly I was attacked by this.... thing," that was honestly the best word you had to describe it. "That looked like a pony dressed as a clown, but... was something else..."

"You say that you had a rather creepy encounter with a pony dressed as a clown," Risen Flagg says before you could even finish. "Hmm, that is a most interesting story, I believe that I heard rumors floating about the party about something to that effect, or more interestingly that he seemed to possess supernatural abilities. Is this true?"

"To a point, yeah," you say to him. "He could change shape, at least from what I saw."

"Fascinating," Risen Flagg states, not somehow even more interested. "And by that I mean it is a miracle that you survived the dreadful encounter. You are truly a fine young, a fine specimen and a testament to the long-absent human race. I would like to investigate the matter with this clown figure, I mean after all, if he attacked you, who knows what other things he may try to do to the ponies, or perish the thought, try and attack you, again."

"Yeah," you say. You do have to admit, you have given that some thought. However, you also know that if he ever does show up again, you are ready for him. You didn't spend the entire day training with these new powers you for for nothing. You mean, you are Jason-F*CKING-Morgan! You were chased for DAYS by a magical, insane, purple rapist that teleported you to another universe, and what did you do? You stood up,and you fought like a MAN! Haypennywise isn't going to get you a second time.

You then notice Risen Flagg look off in the distance towards the other end of the party. You look too to notice a bunch of other ponies talking to Trixie. She seems to be cowering away from them for some odd reason.

"Well, it's been nice talking with you," Risen Flagg says to you as he finishes his punch. "But I really must be going now. It was nice meeting you." At that, he holds out his hoof to you.

"Thanks," you say as you take it and shake his hoof. "You too."

"Perhaps we shall see each other again sometime," he says to you as he pulls his hoof away from you. He... has this weird look in his eyes too. "Next time you are in Canterlot."

"Yeah..." you reply to him. You really don't like that look that he's giving you. "Next time I'm in Canterlot." At that, Risen Flagg walks away from you in the direction of Trixie. You watch him go for a moment.

Really, in retrospect, that wasn't as bad as you thought it would be. He seemed.... normal... or at least as normal as politicians in your world are. He didn't really say anything THAT suspicious or give any slips to his true self, or at least what you thought was his true self. Maybe he is just a normal senator after all, even if something about him still does bug you... a lot.

Perambulate the Prehistoric Avian Predecessor

Walk The Dinosaur by Was (Not Was)

Before you get the chance to spare another thought on it though, the music suddenly changes. It changes to something completely different. Something familiar.

"Boom boom acka-lacka lacka boom,

Boom boom acka-lacka boom boom."

You look over towards the DJ, who is just smirking back at you. That clever devil. He was just waiting for this.

"Boom boom acka-lacka lacka boom,

Boom boom acka-lacka boom boom."

You can't help but let out a smirk yourself as the beat to this song hits your ears. Suddenly, you feel a lot better. You just had punch with a Canterlot Senator and made it out all right. You are Jason god damned Morgan, the only human in this world. And you've been putting this off long enough.

"Yeah," you say to yourself as he move your feet around in place for a moment. "It's time." From there, you star moving towards the center of Sugarcube Corner again. All eyes are on you, you can tell. They are all waiting.

"Boom boom acka-lacka lacka-

Before you can even take three steps however, the song is suddenly cut off by the sound of an intense record scratch. You and all the other ponies look to see..... who else Risen Flagg, his horn glowing red with his magical aura. A quick look at the DJ table shows you that yes, he did in fact stop the music.

"I'm terribly sorry," he says to everypony as his magical aura dies for a moment. "I just.... absolutely despise that song." Then, suddenly, his horn lights up again, and equally suddenly, another song comes on.

Risen Flagg's choice of music

Everybody Wants To Rule The World by Tears for Fears

As the song befitting of Risen Flagg starts playing, he then holds out his hoof, and you watch Trixie start to walk towards him. Once he has her hoof. The two of them then start dancing in place. Everypony in Sugarcube Corner can't help but stare at them, all equally confused as to what just happened.

You....

Okay, you.... it doesn't matter to you anymore if Risen Flagg is just a regular senator, or an outer god, or whatever. There's only one thing you can thing you can say to this.

"Bitch you gonna die," you silently say to yourself.

Hey everyone, Razor here. There is a "What do you do?" section for this chapter, but it's not here in the main story. It's in the side story. Why? Because well the next chapter after this is going to be focusing solely on the side story. Why you ask? Well because the current story arc to the side story is coming to a close and I want to give it the attention it deserves. We will return to main story afterwards, don't you worry.

Also, just for a bit of fun.

AUTHOR'S CHALLENGE

If anybody can name all of the cameos that have appeared at this party, you will receive one free comment as well as your own OC making a cameo in the next chapter of the main story (this rule only applies to OC's, not characters in the story. So yeah, side story guys, you cannot use the characters that are already in the story). This prize will be given ONLY to the first person to name all of the cameos, and only that person. So if anybody else gets it after that one person, sorry, but you aren't getting your free comment. Remember though, you have to name ALL of the cameos.

Good luck :pinkiehappy:

-And now we leave Jason's perspective again for a little while-

Back at the Ranch:

Pinkie Pie: I thought that there wasn’t going to be any fighting at this party?

Razor: Shit happens and without being behind the wheel at the moment, this bus is careening down a mountain road towards a cliff.

RY: What’s the big deal, he’s just a simple stallion?

RL: HE IS EVERYTHING!!! *the air around her becomes static* HE IS THE NOTHING!!! *the ground beneath her cracks, slightly* HE IS THE ALPHA AND I AM THE OMEGA!!!

Back in Line Draft’s Head:

LD: Is that the…

DXIV: Omega sign forming over her head, yes.

LD: YOU TAUGHT HER THAT THING!?

DXIV: Perhaps.

LD: I don’t wanna die.

DXIV: I don’t want to you die.

Back at the edge of the potential end of all things within fifteen miles of the party:

All at once, Line Draft tackles Roseluck to the ground while Razor and Pinkie Pie tackle Rarity to the ground.

LD: SNAP OUT OF THIS! YOU ARE GOING TO ERASE EVERYTHING WITHIN FIFTEEN FUCKING MILES OF THIS PARTY IF YOU CONTINUE!

RZ: THE POWER OF ABSTENANCE COMPELLS YOU!!! THE POWER OF ABSTENANCE COMPELLS YOU!!! THE POWER OF ABSTENANCE COMPELLS YOU!!!

PP: DICKS AREN’T WORTH IT!

LD: IF YOU KILL THIS BODY, HE WON’T FUCK YOU SENSELESS LATER!

RL: *snaps to normalcy* Really?

LD: Yes, Line Draft, the actual Line Draft that is just letting me use this body as a surrogate really likes you and really wants to get to know you.

RL: Like how?

LD: He wants to officiate the office betwixt the sheets.

RL: *squee*

RZ: RARITY! GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF! THERE ARE OTHER STALLIONS MORE THAN WILLING TO STICK IT TO YOU AT THIS PARTY!!!

PP: *puts Rarity in sleeper hold and Rarity promptly passes out* Sleep, just sleep.

RZ: Thank fucking Christ that’s over! *turns to face the other side of this argument* Hey sorry about that, she just kind of gets like that occasionally all of the time.

LD: Yes, clearly it’s a problem with the very written fabric of this universe. *faces Razor*

RZ: You son of a bitch.

LD: Well shit.

RZ: I knew you were here.

LD: Clearly because you did so fucking much to actually stop me.

A dog walks up to the pair and stands next to Razor, oddly enough, he’s wearing sunglasses.

Browndogg: Who’s this?

RZ: Daedaltheus the XIV, the flesh.

BG: WHAT?!

All at once, several other authorial figures surrounded the unassuming pegasus.

Kiro: So, here to start some trouble, eh?

Blazewings Thunder: Waiting to start something with all of us gathered in one spot, how very stupid of you.

That Pegasus Over There: I ready for a rumble.

KenSES: Just say the word, Razor, just say the word.

LD: Hmph, a full party turned upon a single guest, doesn’t read to well in the fabric, does it, Razor?

RZ: Maybe but then again, it would make all of us feel better if we were to kill you here and now.

LD: Please. Reason users cannot kill other Reason users, you know the rules.

RZ: Yes but we can still pummel your ass.

LD: Very well, I present you with two options. Option one *withdraws his pocket watch* my ordinary plain looking pocket watch that contains a star-god that if unleashed will consume everything I command it to. Option two, let me go. Pick you poison wisely.

RZ: Get the fuck out of here.

LD: Done. *there’s a loud cracking sound and both the pegasus and Roseluck are gone*

RZ: At least that’s over…with.

Engraved on the floor where the pair stood, Razor saw five words.

I AM ALWAYS WATCHING YOU.

Back on the dance floor, Pinkie Pie and Razor were dancing to the new song, which for this one, involved Pinkie Pie getting closer to him than usual for some reason. Something Razor didn't entirely feel comfortable with.

"Yo, Razor," someone shouted from the edge of the dance floor. Both Razor and Pinkie Pie stopped immediately as soon as his the words hit their ears and turned to see, none other than Straight Edge staring back at them. Both Razor and Pinkie Pie just stared at him confused for a moment, Razor cause it took him a moment to get who he was, and Pinkie Pie cause she had never seen him before. Straight Edge just kept staring at them with a sort of smug grin on his face. After less than a second though, it dawned on Razor.

"Oh my god!" Razor said as it did dawn on him. At that, he walked from the dance floor over towards Straight Edge "Ken!"

"Wow, that was shorter than I expected," Straight Edge replied. All at once, Razor suddenly threw his hooves around straight edge and gave him a bro hug, which Straight Edge returned.

"What are you doing here man?" Razor asked his friend and partner.

"Well, you had Seth make a cameo," Straight Edge replied. "So I figured I might as well show up too."

"Razor Bazer, who's this?" Pinkie Pie asked as she walked up next to Razor, slightly confused.

"What," Razor said as he moved around to the side of Straight Edge and kept his hoof around his neck. "Don't you recognize him?" Straight Edge just kept smiling at her.

"Hmmmmmmm......." Pinkie Pie said as she moved in to get a closer look. Almost too close. She looked over every part of him with her one eye, as he other eye was closed and her tongue was stuck out as if she were trying to solve a mystery. It took her a bit of time to get it, and both Razor and Straight Edge looked at each other in confusion. They honestly thought she'd get it immediately.

When it finally did dawn on her though like it did Razor, Pinkie Pie stopped squinting and her face INSTANTLY changed to one of the biggest smiles she could ever give.

"KENNY!!!!!" Pinkie Pie practically screamed as she tackle hugged Straight Edge. While it didn't knock him down to the ground, her powerful hug did manage to crush Straight Edge's neck.

"I..... told you...... never to call me...... Kenny......" Straight Edge said as his windpipe was being crushed.

"Sorry," Pinkie Pie said as she finally got off of him. "Force of-" Before she could even finish those words, Rarity suddenly slid across the floor and the dance floor and stopped right at all of their feet. The three of them could only stare in confusion.

"I thought you said there wasn't going to be any fighting at this party." Pinkie Pie said to Razor, a bit worried.

"Hey, shit happens," Razor replied. "And without me being behind the wheel at the moment, I'd say this bus is careening down a mountain road towards a cliff."

"What's the big deal!" Rarity screamed as she got back up onto her hooves. "He's just a simple stallion!"

"HE IS EVERYTHING!!!" Razor, Pinkie Pie, and Straight Edge all looked directly across from Rarity to see Roseluck standing there, angry as all hell. "HE IS THE NOTHING!!!" Roseluck screamed as the air around her suddenly became all static and the ground beneath her suddenly cracked slightly "HE IS THE ALPHA AND I AM THE OMEGA!!!"

-Back in Line Draft’s head-

"Is that the…?" Line Draft's voice asked the voice of Daedaltheus.

"The omega sign forming over her head, yes," the voice of Daedaltheus responded.

"YOU TAUGHT HER THE ANTI-LIFE EQUATION!?" the voice of Line Draft screamed at Daedaltheus.

"Perhaps," the voice of Daedaltheus responded in the same monotone voice he always used.

"I don’t wanna die," Line Draft said.

"And I don’t want to you die either," Daedaltheus said to him.

-Back at the edge of the potential end of all things within fifteen miles of the party-

Suddenly, all at once, Line Draft jumped out of nowhere and tackled Roseluck to the ground, canceling whatever she was doing immediately while at the same time, Razor and Pinkie Pie tackled Rarity to the ground.

"SNAP OUT OF THIS!" Line Draft screamed at Roseluck. "YOU ARE GOING TO ERASE EVERYTHING WITHIN FIFTEEN FUCKING MILES OF THIS PARTY IF YOU CONTINUE!"

"THE POWER OF ABSTENANCE COMPELLS YOU!!! THE POWER OF ABSTENANCE COMPELLS YOU!!! THE POWER OF ABSTENANCE COMPELLS YOU!!!" Razor kept screaming at Rarity as he held her pinned to the ground.

"DICKS AREN’T WORTH IT!" Pinkie Pie added.

"IF YOU KILL THIS BODY!" Line Draft screamed at Roseluck. "HE WON'T F*CK YOU SENSELESS LATER!" At that, Roseluck suddenly snapped back to normalcy.

"Really!?" she practically screamed.

"Yes," Line Draft responded. "Line Draft, the actual Line Draft who is just letting me use this body as a surrogate really likes you and really wants to get to know you."

"Like how?" Roseluck asked with all the hope possibly present in her voice.

"He wants to officiate the office betwixt the sheets," Line Draft said to her. At that, Roseluck's only response was a squee.

"RARITY! GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF!" Razor screamed at Rarity as she tried to get back up, only for Razor to get a hold on her again and for Pinkie Pie to get a hold around her neck. "THERE ARE OTHER STALLIONS MORE THAN WILLING TO STICK IT TO YOU AT THIS PARTY!!!"

"I DON'T-" Rarity was about to say before Pinkie Pie suddenly put her into a sleeper hold.

"Sleep, just sleep," she said as she gently let Rarity down to the floor.

"Well thank f*cking Christ that’s over!" Razor said as he let out a breath he didn't even realize he was holding in.

"Where the hell did you learn to do that Pinkie Pie?" Straight Edge couldn't help but ask.

"Oh, it's not the first time I've had to use it," Pinkie Pie just replied with a wave of a hoof.

"Ooooookay," Straight Edge said, not entirely sure what to think about that.

"Hey sorry about that," Razor said to Line Draft as he turned to face him. "She just kind of gets like that occasionally all of the time."

"Yes, clearly it’s a problem with the very written fabric of this universe." Line Draft said as he turned to face Razor, and the moment the two of them looked at each other, the moment their gazes hit each other's Razor's eyes suddenly went as wide as they possibly could for a moment. When they went back to normal, the look on Razor's face was... well, one that held just about as much rage as Roseluck's had, only, with a bit more control.

"You....." Razor said to him. "You son of a bitch."

"I'm sorry," Line Draft said, confused.

"You must have balls bigger than this universe to show up here like this," Razor said to Line Draft as he stepped closer to him.

"I'm sorry," Line Draft said, still feigning innocence. "I don't know-"

"Cut the bullshit!" Razor said as he grabbed Line Draft by his throat and lifted him up off the ground.

"Razor...." Pinkie Pie whimpered, slightly worried. Straight Edge remained silent, the look on his face on of mass confusion.

"I'm sorry..." Line Draft said again through Razor's choking. "But I don't know you."

"Oh really," Razor said as he suddenly reached into Line Draft's pocket and pulled out his pocket watch.

"D X I V," Razor read aloud as he held the pocket watch in his magical grasp. "If you aren't him, then why would you have this?" Suddenly, at that, Line Draft stopped choking, and his expression suddenly became more darker as he looked down at Razor. Razor, in response, just let out a smirk as he let Line Draft back down to the ground.

"Somehow, I knew you were here," Razor said to Line Draft as he handed him back his pocket watch.

"Clearly," Line Draft said to him as he put his pocket watch away. "Because you did so f*cking much to actually stop me."

"Razor, whose this?" Straight Edge asked as he walked up right next to him.

"Oh, you can't tell?" Razor said to him as he turned towards him. "Well let me introduce you then. Ken, this is DaedaltheusXIV, in the flesh." At those words, Straight Edge's eyes suddenly shrank to pinpricks.

"How?" Straight Edge said. "How could he be here without us noticing?"

"Because Line Draft here isn't a physically manifestation of his persona like what you and I are doing. He's actually an original character he created solely for the purpose of inhabiting his body so that he can walk among the ponies of his universe without us noticing," Razor explained. "Line Draft is an actual character, and he always has been, but Daedaltheus here can just take over his body like a poltergeist whenever he wants to. That way, he won't appear as Daedaltheus, he'll just appear as any regular OC."

"Clever clever," Daedaltheus said to Razor as his own expression turned into a smirk. Pinkie Pie slowly began to back away as she saw this. "I can't say I expected you to figure it out that fast."

This song suddenly comes on

WARNING!

WARNING!

WARNING!

WARNING!

TEAM DEATHMATCH

TEAM DEATHMATCH

TEAM DEATHMATCH

TEAM DEATHMATCH

IMMINENT

IMMINENT

IMMINENT

IMMINENT

Okay I lied. There is one more Code MENT reference at this party.

"It's my story," Razor said to him. "I know everything that happens in it." At that, seeing Razor's confidence, Straight Edge put on his own smirk as well. His confidence showing as much as Razor's. Suddenly, at all once, several other ponies walked out from the party and stood next to Razor and Straight Edge.

"So, this is him eh," Twister said as he took the spot next to Razor opposite of Straight Edge.

"Wait, Twister," Pinkie Pie said to him. "Aren't you supposed to be DJing?"

"Oh, I am," Twister replied. "I can DJ from right here. My powers as an editor allow me to do that."

"Oooohhhh," Pinkie Pie said as she put a hoof to her chin as she contemplated that thought.

"Trying to start something with all of us gathered in one spot," Blaze, the dark pegasus in the jacket from before said as she walked up and stood next to Straight Edge. "How very stupid of you."

"Oh, this is gonna be great," the grey pegasus that was over there said as he walked up and took a spot next to Twister before punching one hoof into the other.

"Just say the word and I'll tear his throat out Razor," the brown dog in the sunglasses said as he took walked out from between Razor and Twister.

"Browndog?" Straight Edge said. "You're here too?"

"Of course," the brown dog said with his own toothy smile at Straight Edge before he turned his attention back to Line Draft and started growling.

"Hmph," Line Draft let out, not intimidated at all by their presence. "A full party turned upon a single guest, doesn’t read to well in the fabric of the universe, does it, Razor?"

"Maybe," Razor replied to him. "But then again, it would make all of us feel better if we were to kill you here and now."

"Please," Line Draft said to him. "Authors cannot kill other authors, you know the rules."

"Yes, but we can still pummel your ass into the dirt." Razor said as a little bit of fire began to appear around his horn. Likewise, all of the others stood ready. Pinkie Pie and Roseluck on the other hooves, couldn't even begin to imagine what could have resulted from this. As such, they stood there in silence.

"Very well. In that case I present you with two options. Option one," Line Draft said as he pulled out his pocket watch again. "My ordinary plain looking pocket watch that contains a star-god that if unleashed will consume everything I command it to, or option two, let me go. Pick you poison wisely." Silence reigned for several seconds, which seemed like an eternity to the others as all the authors, editors, and artists continued to stare down Daedaltheus to see what would happen. Pinkie Pie and Roseluck could only watch motionless in abject terror, knowing that at any given moment, this could erupt into something that this one story could not contain.

"Just get the fuck out of here," Razor said as he let out a sigh. All at once, all of the others looked at him with immense confusion, but still didn't say anything.

"Done," Line Draft said as he put his hoof around Roseluck and escorted her out the door. Razor and all of the others just watched him leave. As much as all of the other authors wanted to object to Razor, they held their tongues, for they all knew why he let him go. Sure they could have taken him, hell, with all of them there, they could have absolutely destroyed him. However, they all knew that the resulting conflict would have been too much for this one story to contain. As such, it would have destroyed it, and this universe, and that was something that none of them could allow.

"At least that’s over… with..." Razor said as he looked down towards the floor where Line Draft had once stood. Engraved in the floor, in the exact spot where Line Draft and Roseluck were standing only moments ago, were five words.

I AM ALWAYS WATCHING YOU

"Is that supposed to be some kind of threat?" another pony suddenly said out of nowhere. Razor looked back up from the floor to see a green as grass colored earth pony mare with a blood red mane.

"Woah, Tenebris Sol," Razor said as he scooted away from him for a bit. "When did you get here?"

"I'm not really sure," Tenebris said as she put a hoof to his chin. "One moment I was in another universe battling giant spiders, and the next thing I know, I'm here in this universe with no way to get home."

"You're an author," Razor said to her. "You can just write yourself home whenever you want."

"Ooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh......" Tenebris Sol said aloud as all of the other authors, save for Straight Edge and the brown dog, left and went back to what they were doing.

"Of if you want I can just send you back right now," Razor said to her.

"Yeah, that would be better," Tenebris replied.

"Wait!" Pinkie Pie said as she suddenly got back up from hiding behind all the others, then jumped up and hugged Tenebris Sol. "Hi Tenebris!!!"

"Hi Pinkie," Tenebris Sol said to her as she hugged Pinkie Pie back. Then, in an instant, she was gone, just as Straight Edge had appeared and Seth had disappeared.

"Will she be okay?" Pinkie Pie asked Razor, curiously.

"Oh trust me," Razor said with a wave of a hoof. "She'll be fine."

"Oooooaaaaawwwwwhhhhhhhh........" Rarity suddenly moaned a bit as she woke back up.

Yeesh, some cat fight, I didn't see any hair pulling or random mud pits...for shame :pinkiecrazy:, and why did you teach Rose the anti-life equation :twilightoops::rainbowderp:?

And wait, I was at the party the whole time? In that case

BrownDog: (Reads the message left behind)...just like the Kinect :pinkiecrazy:
Since everything is reset back to before the fight by Razor, I then look at him and the other authors and tell them to watch this.
I go up to Rarity and in the creepiest voice possible I say
BrownDog: Tonight...You!
Rarity: Hey Girls, what do you think it means by Tonight...me? It sounds like it's threatening me.
Applejack: What are you talking about Rarity?
Rarity: Th...The dog! That one with the sunglasses.
Fluttershy: Um...It's just a dog, they can't talk
BrownDog: Yeah...I'm just a dog (only Rarity hears me and I pull down my shades and give her a creepy smile)
Rarity: EEEEEEEEE!!!!! (Runs away)
AJ and Fluttershy confused

Lauging I then grab some punch, hug Pinkie, fist bump (or paw to hoof bump I guess) the laughing Razor and tell him my job of keeping Rarity unsatisfied is going according to plan. I then steal the replacement DJ's Vinyl glasses so I can sell them to fanatical bronies who will pay their life's savings for them, bite Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon causing them to bleed and cry, then see if the other authors want to get drunk and play video games :pinkiehappy:

What have you done? Where's Tatsurou? You can't do that without the guy who made the first post in every almost every chapter! It's his honor we are talking here!

"Ya'll okay Rarity?" Applejack asked her as she walked up with Fluttershy, who was also worried. "Yah look like you just went three rounds with a bull in a cage."

"Yes, um..... yes, I'm fine," Rarity said to Applejack as she got back to her hooves.

"Um... what was that about?" Fluttershy couldn't help but ask.

"I... I really don't know," Rarity replied, her memory of the past few minutes now completely gone. "I remember a-"

"Tonight...... you....." the brown dog then said to Rarity in the creepiest voice possible with an equally creepy smile on his face.

"Hey girls...." Rarity said to Applejack and Fluttershy, sounding slightly worried. "What do you think he means by tonight... me? It sounds like he's threatening me."

"Uh, what are yah talkin about Rarity?" Applejack asked, confused as all hell.

"Th... The dog," Rarity said. "The one with the sunglasses."

"Um... Rarity..." Fluttershy interjected. "It's just a dog, they can't talk"

"Yeah..." the brown dog said to Rarity in the creepy voice that only she could hear again as he pulled down his shades and gave her a creepy as all hell smile. "I'm just a dog."

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Rarity screamed at the top of her lungs as she vanished in a puff of smoke. All Applejack and Fluttershy could do was just stand there, confused for a few moments before they left to try and find her.

Once they were gone, the brown dog just looked at Razor, who looked as if he was trying to hold back the mother of all storms of laughter behind his face. He didn't last long before he finally burst out laughing like a madman. After a few moments, long enough for him to calm down, he finally settled down.

"Well," the brown dog said as he gave Razor a hoof bump... paw bump. "My job is going according to plan."

"That is is Browndog," Razor said to him. "That it is."

"Hey guys, you know what I just realized," Straight Edge said to them.

"What?" Razor asked, curious.

"Where the hell is Tatsurou?" Straight Edge said. "I mean, he's always first at everything in this story, so wouldn't it make sense that-"

"Silly billy," Pinkie Pie, who was now back to her usual, bubbly self said. "He's right here."

"Hey guys," said the orange and red pony that was Tatsurou to them.

"Oh," Straight Edge said, apparently he was at a loss for words now.

"Wow, how long have you been here?" Razor asked him.

"Oh I've been here since the party started," Tatsurou said to them. "In fact, I was the first one to show up here when the party began."

"Hey Razor," the brown dog said to him.

"Yes," Razor replied.

"Does it seem weird to anyone else that even though Tatsurou is always the first to comment in this story, he was the last person to cameo?" he said to Razor. At that, both Razor and Straight Edge, as well as Pinkie Pie, all put their hooves to their chins in though.

"No, not really," Razor said after a minute. "I mean after all. It's the last thing anybody would expect." Tatsurou couldn't help but laugh at that a bit.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Tatsurou said to him.

"So......" the brown dog said to nopony in particular. "Since we're all here. You all wanna get the other authors to get drunk out of our minds and play some videogames?"

"Sure," Razor replied eagerly. "But only after this party is done."

"Oh of course," the brown dog replied.

"Can I come?" Pinkie Pie chipped in. They all just looked at her for a moment before Razor let out a sigh.

"Sure Pinkie Pie," he said to her. "You can come too."

"YAY!!!!" she let out in response as she threw some confetti that she had on her into the air.

-Side Story-

-The Enterprise-

+Ensign Ship+
GR: Put us in screen first.

*Display of GR and his team of ponies in the background pulls up*

GR: Thanks. Give me the important details, and keep it brief. Oh, and is everyone in the same call?
Steve: Yeah. So... Both?
GR: Yes. Nana, you over there?
Nana: Affirmative. Although, we are quite busy capturing a friend.
GR: Capturing a friend? Uhm... Activate your beacon application. My team here will help in way they can. I'll be talking to our friend here.
Nana: Initiated.
Random Pony: We got it, sir!
GR: Good. Help the hackers do whatever they're doing. Cooperate with them.
RP: Director, we can't even do so with their–
Nana: Hugh has the overrides. I'm going link it to you.
GR: Thank you. I suppose we are set. Now, the briefing?
Steve: Okay, the Dalek ship had been shut down for some reason, Nana survived by integrating into BRP's wristwatch, we are running out air, Swimming went looking for the problem blah blah blah... We got space suits and gave it to BRP and Golden Statue to fix the generators—
GR: Golden Statue?
Steve: He's one of the hackers. He knows a lot about cyber technology.
GR: ...You have names?
Steve: Of course we have names! We are people, too, you know! What else did you think?!
GR: I assumed you are all clones, being the same and all. Besides RA of course.
Steve: I blame RA. Did you see how he reacted when he FINALLY noticed we have names?
GR: Okay, the briefing?
Steve: Right, right. After those two went out, the rest of us were trying to get us to get back on contact. As you can see, we just did so a few moments ago. Also, Swimming has apparently gone bonkers.

*Noises of struggle and growls as BRP, GS, and co worked to get their situation under control.*

GR: *wearly* Is this normal?
Steve: It's almost everyday of my life with RA.
GR: Should even I ask?
Steve: I prefer it if you don't.
Ramzis: Don't forget about the explode-able spiders that mysteriously arrived here.
Steve: Yeah, that too, and we still have no idea what to do with them. RA might...
GR: All that happened in the last 48 hours? While my secretary forced me to go to sleep? Do you aliens even need sleep?
Steve: I do. Same goes for the crew members of the Ensign. Not sure about the Daleks and the rest of the hacker team. Goodness forbid my teams sleeping habits, nights mostly spent on staring at computers... You could say we are nocturnal.
Ramzis: I wouldn't get that far. Say, this the most calm I've seen you all day, without screaming your head off.
Steve: I was scared for my life, thank you very much. Anything happened on your end, Director?
GR: My agents found an unarmed bomb in one of our shipping carts yesterday. It was from an unknown source, but we suspected it was manufactured from Las Pegasus. We took in our headquarters for examination. Have you ever heard of atoms?
Steve: Yeah. They're in the periodic stables, right?
GR: We have the kind of bomb that could reconstruct matter in an instant. Plus enchantments that could enhance effects several fold. An... Atomic bomb if you will.
Steve: YOU HAVE FUCKIN NUKE IN YOUR BASE?!!?!

*everyone stared at Steve and GR*

GR: Yes, big with the timer and everything. Did I say it was unarmed and is under a high-security rated supervision?

The Bridge

Sulu: DAMNIT! *hits the arm of the captain's chair in frustration.* What happened!?

Slim: I don't know. *keeps typing.* According to this, it says that something's wrong on his end.

Jim: F*ckity f*cking sh*t! *her screen starts flashing red, as does Slim's.* Whatever that communications barrier was it just went back up. I can't hack through it now, it's like it's learned how to keep us out.

Slim: *keeps trying for a moment.* F*cking hell she's right.

*Sulu is silent for a few minutes.*

Sulu: F*CK!!!!!

*Over on one of the other screens where Steve is talking to the AIA.*

Steve: Right.... So longer version or short?

Grey Rebl: *some static* Give me the important details, and keep it brief.

Steve: So... both.... Okay *inhales a little bit*

GR: Wait, where's Nana?

Steve: Okay, the Dalek ship was shut down by some.... thing, Nana survived by integrating into BRP's wristwatch, we were running out air so we had to make it over here to the Enterprise, Swimming Dalek went looking for the problem blah blah blah... We got space suits and gave them to BRP and Bronze Statue to fix the generators—

GR: Bronze Statue?

Steve: He's one of us hackers. He seems to know a lot about alien technology.

GR: ...You have names?

Steve: Of course we have names! We are people, too, you know! What else did you think?! Oh, and my name is Steve by the way in case you're wondering.

GR: I... I just assumed you are all clones, being the same and all. Besides RA of course.

Steve: I blame RA. You should have seen how he reacted when he FINALLY noticed we have names?

GR: Okay, okay, the briefing?

Steve: Right, right. After those two went out, the rest of us were trying to get us to get back on contact. As you can see, we just did so a few moments ago, and BRP and Bronze Statue are making their way to the backup generator of the Dalek ship right now as we speak.

*There is silence for a few minutes.*

GR: *wearly* Is this normal?

Steve: It's almost everyday of my life with RA.

GR: Should even I ask?

Steve: I prefer it if you don't.

Tommy: Don't forget about the explode-able spiders that mysteriously arrived here.

Steve: Yeah, that too, and we still have no idea what to do with them. RA might...

GR: All that happened in the last 48 hours? While my secretary forced me to go to sleep? Do you aliens even need sleep?

Steve: I do. Same goes for the crew members of the Ensign. Not sure about the Daleks and the rest of the hacker team. Goodness forbid my teams sleeping habits, nights mostly spent on staring at computers... You could say we are nocturnal.

Doc: I wouldn't get that far. Say, this the most calm I've seen you all day, without screaming your head off.

Steve: I was scared for my life, thank you very much.

*From the other end of the room.*

BRP (on the other end of the line): We just made it to the auxiliary generator room.

GR: What was that?

Steve: Yeah, remember how I said Nana survived by integrating herself into BRP's wristwatch?

GR: Yeah.

Steve: Well, she's with BRP and Bronze Statue right now. They're still on the ship trying to get it activated.

GR: WHAT!?

*Back to Slim and Jim.*

Slim: Okay. *gets back to work*

Jim: F*cking finally what took you two so long?

BRP: Do you have any idea how much of a maze this ship is!?

Jim: Touche?

Sulu: Wait, what are you doing now!?

Slim: We're getting the Dalek ship back online. So shut up and let us do our thing.

Sulu: What about-

Jim: We can't get back in contact with your captain right now okay. If we get the Dalek ship restarted, we might be able to boost our signal and get something, but right now all we have are jack and sh*t, and jack left town.

Slim: Ramiez, transfer control of the frequency to me.

Ramirez: Everyone on the bridge is getting it, so you have it anyway.

Slim: Even better. Nana are you there?

Nana: Yes I am.

Slim: Good, do you think you can send us the schematic of the ship you had?

Nana: Of course, but I'm going to need Hugh's-

Hugh: On it.

GR: Nana!? Is that you!?

Nana: Director?

GR: Who's that other-

Slim: FOCUS HERE PEOPLE!

Jim: Okay, we got it. *types real quick and looks through the schematics until she finds the generator room.* Okay, Bronze Statue, are you there?

Bronze Statue: Of course? What made you think I wasn't here?

Jim: Nothing, just asking cause it's procedure.

BS: Wel f*ck procedure.

Jim: Maybe later.

Slim: *groan* Anyway, Bronze, listen to us.

BS: I'm listening.

Slim: When you get to the generator. You're going to have to reactivate it in a very specific sequence. The Dalek's can usually just take care of this sequence automatically cause of the way they're built, but since you have actual hands, you're going to have do it manually..... and by that I mean, even more manually than the Dalek's way of doing it.

Jim: We'll walk you through it, so you shouldn't have too much of a problem.

BS: Hey, I reactivated a Dalek transport ship without any tools. I think I can handle turning a generator back on.

Jim: *sigh*

Slim: Once you've taken care of all that. You're going to need Nana to initiate the spark for the final sequence.

GR: Wait, what!?

BS: Why, what for?

Slim: Nana was integrated with the ship, and since there don't appear to be any Daleks around, she'll know better than anyone how to get it started.

Jim: Think of it this way. All you're basically doing is putting a key in the ignition. Nana's the one who has to turn it.

BS: Oh okay.

Slim: Hugh?

Hugh: Yes.

GR: Seriously, who is that?

Slim: Can you teach Nana the jump trick or does she need you to take care of that for her?

Nana: Well, I am fully capable of moving from one system to the next on my own, but with Hugh's help-

Slim: Whatever, just do whatever's easiest for you.

GR: Seriously, GUYS WHAT IS GOING ON!

Steve: Nana and Bronze Statue are going to reactivate the ship now. Just sit tight. She'll be fine.

GR: ..... Are you absolutely sure?

Steve: Oh absolutely.

-The Dalek Flagship, The Caesar-

The Auxiliary Generator Room

*BRP and Bronze Statue make their way into the auxiliary generator room through the hallways and into the main room where Swimming Dalek had previously fought Slenderpony.*

BS: So anyway-

BRP: Shhh..........

*BRP covers where his mouth is with a finger as both he and Bronze Statue fall silent. He then slowly points to the floor, where the two of them see a severed Dalek eyestalk. Not to far away from it is the rest of the Dalek corpose, along with several others. Bronze Statue just nods as BRP slowly takes out his bow. Both BRP and Bronze Statue remain silent as they slowly move through the generator room past the remains of several more Daleks.*

???: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Both BRP and Bronze Statue turn towards the center of the room to see.... another human, dressed and looking like Benedict Cumberbatch, on the floor in the fetal position rocking back and forth and laughing to himself manically. Both BRP and Bronze Statue look at each other for a moment before they slowly begin moving towards him, careful not to step on any of the remains of the Daleks so as not to alert him. When they get within a few feet of him, Bronze Statue stops where he is as BRP keeps moving closer and reaches out his right hand.*

BRP: Swimming Dalek....

*At that instant. Swimming Dalek stops laughing and instantly turns his head around to look at BRP and Bronze Statue. The look on his face isn't remotely human. He has three eyes as opposed to one, and each of them are a weird mix of black and red. His teeth are also all incredibly sharp, like dinosaur teeth, and he appears to be drooling a little bit. The look on his face is.... well, that of a gleeful smile.*

BRP: Swimming-

Swimming Dalek: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

*Suddenly, Swimming Dalek leaps towards BRP and begins to glow with a familiar orange hue as he transforms into a large, seven foot tall wolf. BRP falls backwards onto his back as SD leaps over him and BS jumps to his left, barely missing Swimming Dalek as he lands several feet away from them on the other side of the room. Both BRP and Bronze Statue get back up onto their feet as the look back at Swimming Dalek, who in turn turns to look back at them. The look on his face is still very much the same.*

BRP: Swimming Dalek what's-

SD: *ROAR!!!!!!*

*Swimming Dalek charges at BRP who leaps to the side before he can hit him, but then Swimming Dalek scratches the floor and turns himself around as he turns into a xenomorph and jumps up onto a nearby wall. BRP following his every movement. After looking for a few more seconds, Bronze makes a mad dash for the wall where the generator controls are.*

BS: Keep him distracted for me, I'll get the generator restarted!

BRP: You want me to do WHAT!?

*Suddenly, Swimming Dalek leaps from the ceiling at BRP, who jumps backwards out of the way and lands several feet away from Swimming Dalek, who in turn transforms back into his deformed human form and just starts laughing maniacally like a child.*

Next Chapter:

PONY KOMBAT: BRP vs Swimming Dalek

Authors note: Yes, the next chapter of this story is going to focus solely on the battle between BRP and the out of his mind insane Swimming Dalek as this story arc of the side story comes to a close. As such, all other action in the main and side stories are going to be stopped, and like with any Pony Kombat, all of your comments are going to be directing BRP to battle Swimming Dalek. Oh, and no one else in the side story may join in in this fight. So yeah, lets just keep in one on one. Bronze Statue, as the only other person in the room, you may indulge yourself a little bit if you want to get in on this fight, but remember, you are not a fighter, so what you are able to do is... very, VERY limited, unless you can come up with something clever. Also remember, you're supposed to be reactivating the ship. So yeah... But yes, the next chapter will just be BRP vs Swimming Dalek.

Oh, and SwimmingDalek98, since SD is your character, you may issue commands to him as well, but you aren't allowed to use this to help BRP in any way or I won't be using your comments. Oh, and BRP, since this is your fight, the majority of the fight is going to be dictated by you and how you want it to go. So you can approve or deny comments given to you as you wish. Also you can write how you want the battle to go and leave it as either a comment or a PM to me.

Actually, it would be better if you left it as a comment since I can't send you messages. Seriously, what's up with that? I've tried sending you PMs for the last week or so but it says you never receive them. The f*ck?

But anyway, yes. Next chapter. PONY KOMBAT!!!!!!!!

Author's Note

status: edited

Side Story: BRP vs (Insane) Swimming Dalek

BRP vs Swimming Dalek

You're No Good by KMFDM

His speed is his key asset, so eliminating that will help immensely. You'll have to wound one of his legs, in whatever form he takes, whether it be a rocket cheetah or a xenomorph. Keep trying to hit him in the leg with a regular arrow.

To BRP:

Oh crap baskets...:rainbowderp:
Ok, Swimming Dalek has the power to morph into whatever he wants, and you can never tell which form is he going to take, but perhaps if you taunt him with insults like: "Oh please, my 5 level magikarp does more damage than that with his Splash!!" he will morph into an actual magikarp so he can humilliate you, or turn into a gyarados which could be trouble....but still, you could see it coming, right? Just use the tactic that the Puss in boots used to defeat the Morphing Ogre in the fairy-tale and use it to your advantage.

Although he is totally out of his mind, so it's possible that he won't give a crap about anything you have to say...soooooo shoot tranquilizers like there's no tomorrow, and don't hesitate to use all your other weapons if the situation requires it, it's not likely that you'll kill him THAT easily. And most important, always remember to DOOOOOOOOODGE!!!!!!

BRP: Oh shit, nothing is creepier than-
SD's mouth gapes open a foot showing row after row of needle like teeth. He crouches, his legs changing shape to increase the muscle density and the number of joints, perfect for a controlled launch in any direction. BRP loads and looses a standard arrow, attempting to nail one foot to the floor. A hole opens in the foot, letting the arrow pass cleanly through. SD jumps forwards, the power of his legs meaning that his speed is best measured in meters per second.
BRP: Bullshit!
He drops onto his back, as he is falling, SD flies over him. the world seems to go in slow motion as SD brings his legs into the crouch again and kicks BRP in the stomach. BRP's bow finds it's way between his squishy bits and the suddenly cloven feet of the insane multiform. The metal of the bow simply snaps under the force, absorbing enough of the shock to save BRP's life. SD rockets to the ceiling where he grips onto it with claws. and talons. BRP tosses the remains of his bow aside and pulls his two short swords. from their sheath. He spun as he jumped to his feet, eyes never leaving SD.
BRP: Hugh, compute and track movements, uploading pathing to my HUD.
Hugh: Sir!
SD launches himself at BRP, who rolls to his left. SD stops on the floor this time, growing a scythe-arm from a tyranid hormagaunt. He swings it laterally, blocked by BRP's left sword. BRP responds with a sword thrust to the belly, that still resembled a child only to have it harden into chitinous armor a second before the blade made contact. The force caused a crack in the armor that was instantly repaired. SD's head jerked forwards, his neck extending to allow the attack, his mouth wide, revealing the teeth. BRP ducked under it, turning. He wrapped his right arm around SD's neck and threw him over his shoulder in a judo ippon-seonagi throw, albeit slightly modified. SD allowed the flip, but his modified legs caught him as he was about to hit the ground. One leg flicked.
BS: DOOOOOOOODGE!!!!
BRP made no attempt to look around. Instead, he slid himself between SD's legs. His boot caught in a hole where a piece of deck plating had been ripped up and he used it as a lever to flip himself upright and then over, performing a front flip and throwing an arrow into SD's back as he was upside down. The deck plate that had been kicked up by the leg flick had ricocheted from the opposite wall and the ceiling before spinning down to where BRP had stood. Now it shot down and cleaved off the lower halves of SD's legs. SD shrieked in pain before leaping for the ceiling again, the arrow catching him a second before his leap.
BRP: BS, PUT THIS ON THE INTERCOM!!
BS: Why?
BRP: JUST DO IT!!! HUGH, JACK UP THE VOLUME!!
Hugh: was that really a pun on-
BRP: NO!!!!
Caramelldansen blasts through the speakers. SD, who had been handily trained by the internet reacted instantly, performing the dance on the ceiling. A pair of talons holding him in place dangling from the roof panels. A pair of arrows joined the talons in their task, followed by a further pair. BRP kept his eyes on the slowly recovering SD.
BRP: How are you doing over there?
BS: Oh, you know. A few hard bits, but no prosthetic arm attachment.
BRP runs over and cuts a plunger from one of the dalek corpses then throws it over to BS.
BRP: Hook that up to your computer.
Suddenly the music cuts out as one of BRP's arrows that had been through SD's foot lands on the music skip button. This music replaces it.
BRP: Shit.
He looks down and pulls out wires from the dalek corpse, yanking out strand after strand and glancing up frequently to check up on the status of SD. he has about four feet out when a glance reveals SD standing right over him, smiling pleasantly...with the crazy little girl face on. The scythe arm raises. BRP dives into SD, reaching up and grabbing the elbow of the arm and forcing it to SD's side before wrapping the wires around him tightly. As he trussed up the struggling monster he shouted over at BS.
BRP: ARE THERE ANY SCREENS FUNCTIONING?
BS: Yes, why?
BRP: HOW MANY?
BS: Five.
BRP: SCREEN 1:THE ASDF MOVIES!!!
SCREEN 2: *A claw reaches up and slides along BRP's breastplate leaving a deep groove.* SHERLOCK
SCREEN 3: V FOR VENDETTA
SCREEN 4: LABYRINTH
SCREEN 5: *BRP gets hurled across the room as SD throws him away.* FUCKING PICK SOMETHING!!!

"Oh shit!" BRP said to nobody in particular as the reality of the situation finally dawned on him. "Nothing's creepier than-" Before he could even finish that sentence, Swimming Dalek started to glow orange as his body began to change shape. Instinctively, with a speed almost too fast to see, BRP drew a single arrow and loaded it into his bow before firing it at Swimming Dalek. The orange glow died right as BRP let loose the arrow, and in Swimming Dalek's place stood some kind of giant, monstrous grasshopper like creature not much larger than a human with horns and sharp teeth. BRP's arrow hit Swimming Dalek right in his right jumping leg, but Swimming Dalek's insect like plating stopped the arrow dead in it's tracks as it it barely went an inch in.

"BULLSHI-!" Before BRP could even finish that word, Swimming Dalek let loose and jumped right for him with his enormous, toothy mouth open. Time slowed to a crawl for BRP as he dropped as Swimming Dalek flew right over him at a speed that could at best be measured in meters per second. Right before Swimming Dalek had passed right over him completely, he retracted his rear jumping legs, and with them kicked straight down at BRP and hit him right in the stomach. However, BRP in defense held up his bow, which found itself between himself and Swimming Dalek's larger than they should have normally been jumping legs. The metal bow snapped under the force of Swimming Dalek's kick, absorbing enough force from the impact to save BRP's life.

If he ever manages to take away your bow, improvise. There is plenty of dead Dalek junk, you can use their eye stalks as combat sticks, or a piece of their armor as a shield. He won't be nearly as fast, so you have a chance to beat him into submission.

Swimming Dalek then kept flying towards the wall and began to glow orange again. When the orange glow cleared, he had taken on the form of a xenomorph again and had grappled onto the wall with his claws. BRP quickly jumped back up to his feet and spun around, his eyes locked on Swimming Dalek. Without saying a word, he tossed the remains of his bow aside before pulling two short swords.

"Hugh, compute and track his movements. Upload the path to my HUD," he said to his hacking AI.

"Sir," Hugh responded right as Swimming Dalek launched himself right off of the wall right at BRP. BRP jumped and rolled to the left before Swimming Dalek could hit him. Swimming Dalek in turn, hit the ground and skidded to a half with his claws as he turned himself around, knocking away the remains of the lower half of a Dalek in the process. His body then began to glow orange again as he changed his form into that of a tyranid hormagaunt. He then screeched loudly at BRP before he laterally swung one of scythe like arms at him.

BRP blocked Swimming Dalek's tyranid blade with his left sword before swing his other one right at Swimming Dalek's face. Swimming Dalek just leaned his head back a bit, BRP's blade barely screeched his cheek. He then swung upwards with his other scythe arm, BRP jumped backwards to avoid it. At that, Swimming Dalek screeched again as he ran towards BRP and kept swinging his tyranid scythe blades. BRP narrowly managed to avoid Swimming Dalek's attacks, as he kept coming at him with a ferocity that was unheard of, especially from him.

Alright, time for my brilliant, never-before-thought-of commentary on what BRP should do. Prepare yourselves for this, because this is gonna blow you away...

BRP... Don't get punched in the face.

But wait! There

When you get the chance... punch HIM in the face!

I'm a tactical genius.

Swimming Dalek swung his left scythe arm at BRP again. BRP barely managed to jump over it before it hit him and do an awesome flip in the process. Right as he landed, Swimming Dalek swung his other tyranid arm at him laterally again. BRP blocked it again with his left sword again. He then flipped the short sword in his other hand around and threw a punch right at Swimming Dalek's face. Swimming Dalek barely flinched as BRP's fist made contact with his tyranid face. BRP however, didn't bother to waste a second and swung his left sword right below his neck and cut Swimming Dalek right where his left shoulder would have been. Swimming Dalek let out a loud screech in pain as BRP jumped up and kicked Swimming Dalek in the face.

Swimming Dalek doubled back a bit and shook his head a bit before locking his gaze right on BRP. The only sound he made was a snarl.

"Bad idea," BRP said to himself as Swimming Dalek screeched at him again and rushed him. Swimming Dalek raised both his tyranid scythe blades at him and swung down vertically with both. BRP quickly ran forward and ducked under him and thrust his right sword in Swimming Dalek's belly. Swimming Dalek screeched in pain again as his body began to glow orange again. BRP had to shield his eyes from the light as he pulled his sword out. When it cleared, BRP looked and saw that he was sanding underneath a very different creature. He quickly looked back around only to see Swimming Dalek, face looking right at him, albeit upside down and attacked to a much longer, more flexible neck.

Swimming Dalek's face then opened up completely as it split into four quarters, showing row after row of sharp teeth as he shot his head forward right at BRP. BRP ducked under it and turned around, he then wrapped his right arm around Swimming Dalek's long neck and threw him over his shoulder in a slightly modified judo ippon-seonagi throw. Right as he did however, Swimming Dalek began to glow orange again, and when it cleared, his legs and feet hit the ground first as BRP finished his throw.

Swimming Dalek resembled some kind of large, hairless, green, ape like creature with what appeared to be serrated like blades on it's forearms, claws, and a lion's mane around it's head.

BS (the whole time completely ignoring the carnage of the battle): *prattling on sort of like The Doctor in "thinking out loud about other species' technology" mode or Twilight in lecture mode, while working on starting the generator back up* Thanks for covering for me, BRP. It shouldn't take me more than five minutes, tops. I could have it done faster, but the control interface is designed for a more hemispherical appendage than fingers. *pulls out notebook labeled "Extraterrestrial Tech #46: Daa-Dbt," jots some stuff down, and continues working on the generator* If I had my Fake Arm Prosthetic Dalek Plunger with me, it would go a bit quicker. That was a bear to program, let me tell you. Come to think of it, did I lock the door to my work shed before becoming one of RA's hackers? *stops working for a second to think about it* Yes. I'm sure of it. Also, while you're fighting him, I just wanted to remind you that he's a multiform so whatever you do, remember to -- *looks up for a moment and sees something hurtling towards BRP's head* DOOOOOOOODGE!!!!
Nana: *the entire time BS is saying the above, is trying to get a word in edgewise.*

"F*cking damnit this technology is fascinating," Bronze Statue said to himself as he got to work on restarting the ship's generator. At this point though, all he had done was flip a few switches and open a few access panels to get better access to the ship's wiring. "I wish a had time to-"

"FOCUS BRONZE!" Slim practically screamed into his intercom. "Do you see the control panel?"

"Of course," Bronze replied to her. "This shouldn't take more than five minutes, tops. I could do this faster, but the control interface is designed for a more of a hemispherical appendage than fingers."

"We know," Jim then said to him. "That's why we said you had to do this MANUALLY!"

"I get it," Bronze said to her. "If I had a Dalek plunger though I could probably-" His words were suddenly cut short by what could only be described a very deep, lion sounding roar. Instinctively, Bronze turned around and saw the creature that was in Swimming Dalek's headlock. It was MUCH larger than he was.

"Bronze, what's going on over there?" Slim asked him through the intercom. Bronze didn't answer her.

"DOOOOOOOOODGE!!!!!" Bronze yelled at BRP. BRP didn't even need to look at him. He quickly let go of the monstrosity he was holding, got low, and slid between it's legs. His boot then suddenly caught in a hole in the floor where a piece of the deck plating had been torn open as a result of the previous battle that happened in this room. BRP used this as a lever to flip himself over and while performing a front flip, he pulled an arrow out from his quiver and, while he was upside down, and regardless of the fact that he didn't have his bow anymore, the threw the arrow at Swimming Dalek and hit him in his back.

As he did that, the loose deck plate that had been kicked by BRP's flip was launched from it's place in the floor and ricocheted from the opposite wall to the ceiling, and then right back down to where BRP had just landed right back onto his feet as Swimming Dalek, ignoring the arrow in his back, turned around to face BRP. BRP looked from Swimming Dalek to the flying piece of metal that was flying towards him. Quickly, he spun around and kicked the flying metal piece before it hit him, sending it flying towards Swimming Dalek. The flying metal piece of the floor cleaved through Swimming Dalek's left foreleg like a saw, causing him to let out a loud growl in pain as he began to glow orange again. When it cleared, he had changed into a large, blue, bird like creature that looked more like the result of if a lizard had mated with a bird and flew straight up towards the ceiling.

Swimming Dalek hit the ceiling and gripped it with his talon like feet. Right as he did though, another arrow went through his left foot, and then another one through his right as BRP threw more arrows at him. The first two were then quickly followed by four more.

"Bronze!" BRP shoutedat Bronze Statue. "Put this on the intercom!"

"Why?" Bronze Statue asked, confused.

"JUST DO IT!" BRP shouted at him. "Hugh, Jack up the volume!"

"Was that really a pun on-" BRP's hacking AI, Hugh Jackman, tried to ask before BRP cut him off.

"NO!!!" BRP shouted at the top of his lungs as his wrist computer suddenly came on. Bronze Statue quickly messed with the intercom of the room a bit and turned it on, drawing a bit of power away from life support. Since they were both in Starfleet space exploration suits though, they had no reason to be worried about that, yet.

Suddenly, Caramelldansen blasted through the intercom of the room and into Swimming Dalek's ears. Swimming Dalek, a creature who had been partially raised by the internet, reacted instantly as he started performing the titular dance on the ceiling, although with large, lizard bird wings it was kind of hilarious.

[after putting Caramelldansen on]
BS: *once again mostly ignoring the battle* I would've gone with leek spin, personally, but I suppose this serves the same purpose.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*catches plunger arm midair*
BS: Thanks. *plugs arm into personal computer. 20 seconds later, it goes "ding!"* Yes! Now, I just have to hold it, and it should function perfectly for me. Instead of four more minutes, it should only be two! Wait... I can't actually hold it correctly...
BRP: JUST HURRY UP, ALREADY!
~~~~~~~~~~
[for the 5 screen scene, as BRP says each one, they turn on, courtesy of BS]
BRP: SCREEN 5: FUCKING PICK SOMETHING!!!
BS: Oh, god, what do I do? What do I do??? WHAT DOOOOOO--- I need to think of something, and fast! Come on, come on, come on!!! It's not fair, man!
BRP: GODDAMMIT, PICK A FUCKING VIDEO!!!
BS: FINE!!! HERE, HAVE THIS!!! It should hold him for a bit, but you really need to get a new weapon. I don't think stabbing him is working!

"I would've gone with leek spin, personally," Bronze Statue said. "But I suppose this serves the same purpose."

"How are you doing over there?" BRP asked him as he took a quick breather.

"Oh, you know," Bronze Statue said with a shrug. "A few hard bits, but no prosthetic arm attachment."

"Bronze, what's going on over there?" Jim asked him again in his communicator.

"Nothing," he replied. "We got this under control." As he said that, BRP walked over to a nearby Dalek corpse and cut off it's plunger, which he then threw to Bronze Statue. Unfortunately, as he was doing that, Swimming Dalek's dancing on the ceiling loosened one of the arrows in his feet, which after a few moments, came out, fell from the ceiling, and landed right on the music skip button on BRP's wrist computer right as he threw the Dalek plunger to Bronze Statue.

The music was then replaced instantly by the song Hammer Smashed Face by Cannibal Corpse, which admitted was a better fight song than Caramelldansen, but not nearly as useful right now.

"Shit," BRP said aloud as he realized what had just happened.

"Thanks," Bronze Statue replied as he caught it, then went back to his work on the generator. "Yes! Now, I just have to hold it, and it should function perfectly for me. Instead of four more minutes, it should only be two! Wait... I can't actually hold it correctly..."

"JUST HURRY UP ALREADY!!!" BRP shouted at Bronze Statue right as Swimming Dalek began to glow orange again and drop down right from the ceiling at BRP. BRP instinctively brought up his two short swords to block him, and he did. When the orange glow had cleared, Swimming Dalek had taken the form of Ryuko Matoi from Kill La Kill. Both BRP and Bronze Statue had to stop for a moment to look... and to contemplate just what the hell she was even wearing.

"Damn...." was all Bronze Statue could say. Before anyone could say anything else though, Swimming Dalek pulled his giant half of scissors blade away from BRP and swung it again. BRP blocked it with his right sword, then swung with his left, but Swimming Dalek leaned to the side a bit to avoid it, then swung again with his blade, which BRP again blocked. Swimming Dalek then swung again, and again, and again mercilessly.

Swimming Dalek then swung laterally again at BRP, who blocked it with his right sword before swinging with his left. Swimming Dalek however, didn't even move his other blade as he swatted BRP's other blade away with his hand, which made him bleed a little bit. Swimming Dalek then quickly pushed BRP's right sword away, then spun around and swung upwards right at BRP. BRP moved back a bit as he did, but Swimming Dalek's blade still managed to cut through his space suit and scratch the armor underneath all the way from his leg to his neck.

BRP leaned away again as Swimming Dalek swung horizontally at him again and then jumped back before he could make another move. He then then looked down at the cut in his suit, it was clean through. There wasn't a scratch on his armor though, but his suit was useless now. He then looked back up to see Swimming Dalek running up to him and swung upwards. BRP jumped back again and with some difficulty, he managed to tear his space suit off and throw it at Swimming Dalek and pull the respirator built into his suit down over his mouth.

Swimming Dalek swatted BRP's suit away, but right as he did, BRP charged at him, now clad in just the armor he always wore with him, and thrust his right sword at Swimming Dalek's face. Swimming Dalek moved his head to the left to dodge it, but BRP managed to cut his face just under his left eye. Swimming Dalek managed to spin around and back away from BRP before he did anything else. He then reached up and felt the blood on his face with his free hand.

"Well, I bet that's upsetting," BRP said to him.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!" Swimming Dalek just laughed manically again as he raised his blade again and ran at BRP again, attacking even more mercilessly than before. BRP blocked every attack Swimming Dalek threw at him, but then, Swimming Dalek swung vertically again. BRP blocked his attack with both of his swords, but Swimming Dalek, with his blade being larger, forced BRP's blades to the side, then headbutted BRP, which caused him to double back a bit. Swimming Dalek then ran forward, jump up, and kicked BRP right in the chin in a way that the outfit his anime girl form was wearing could not have possibly allowed.

"Oh my..." Bronze Statue said to himself before he shook his head again and returned back to working on the generator.

BRP flew backwards a few feet before he landed on his back, next to another Dalek corpse.

"HAHAHAHAHA!!!!" BRP looked up to see Swimming Dalek had jumped into the air and was now coming back down on him. Instinctively, BRP rolled to the side just as Swimming Dalek's blade stuck into the ground where he was.

BRP then grabbed one of the loose wires from the Dalek corpse as he rolled back up onto his feet and kicked it away, making all of the wiring come out of it, or at least four feet of it, which was enough for BRP. Swimming Dalek just looked at him with a sort of sadistic smile on his anime girl face before he started laughing manically again.

Right as Swimming Dalek raised his arm, which held his blade, to attack, BRP leapt at Swimming Dalek, reached up and grabbed the elbow of his blade arm and forced it down it his side before wrapping the wires around him. He then took Swimming Dalek to the ground as the two of them wrestled there for a few moments as BRP kept trying relentlessly to restrain Swimming Dalek, which was weird since he looked like an anime girl right now, and he was really a guy, and he was tying her up right now.... BUT NOW WAS NOT THE TIME FOR THAT!!!

"Dude!" Bronze Statue screamed at BRP as he looked away from trying to make the Dalek plunger work for him at BRP. "We barely have artificial gravity as it is let along life support, even with your respirator you have at most-"

"I'll BE FINE!" BRP screamed at him. "ARE THERE ANY SCREENS FUNCTIONING!!!???"

"What screens!?" Bronze Statue shouted back. "There are no screens in this room!"

"Well shit," BRP said to himself as Swimming Dalek began to glow orange again.

If you have them, sedative arrows. On him it won't be fast acting so you'll have to wait him out till the drugs kick in and slow him down more.

BRP flies across the room and hits the opposite wall. His armor saves him, but his breath is knocked out anyway. Screen 5 comes on with a video of Derpy doing a cute little dance.
BRP: *coughs* what? Ok *cough*
SD is standing at the in the center of the room. BRP reaches into his quiver for a tranquilizer arrow. He draws it out as quickly as possible, starting his throw. SD doesn't wait for long enough, he jumps up again landing on the roof before turning into a gigantic spider shape and skittering over to the wall. another tranquilizer arrow is thrown, but dodged. Neither broke, but recovering them now might be dangerous. An idea comes to BRP's mind and he tips his quiver on to the floor, kicking the explosive arrows out of the door and the rest around the room. SD was changing shape again, growing a long snakelike body, but legs that made it look like an unsegmented centipede. The little girl face stayed, growing enormous pincers. He started crawling along the wall, a sound like rain on a tin roof filling the room. BRP tracks him, right blade raised. he tosses his left one to the side. Suddenly SD rears from the wall to lunge at him. BRP spins to the side and kicks, hitting SD in the chin and knocking the top half of his body towards the far wall. It hits hard, and SD remains stunned for a moment before growing a score of tentacles. They start to whip out at BRP as SD uses his centipede legs to continue to crawl around on the wall. BRP cuts off the first tentacle as it gets closer and spins again. He rolls, grabbing a normal arrow and stabbing it into another tentacle. A third tentacle wraps around his ankle and yanks him into his air. BRP grabs two tranquilizer arrows from the floor in his left hand and rams them into the tentacle.

Isn't Nana still in BRP's wrist watch? I'm probably missing something here but I don't see it. Nana is a support, so use her for whatever her Magical Intelligence is capable of. She's made of magic, and is sentient, the possibilities are in your favor. I'm giving two option paths just incase.

+For GS+
GS: *returns to mumbling science stuff as he works*
Nana: GS!
GS: Huh?
Nana: I have a synthetic mind processor attached that could help speed this up. It's made for artificial unicorn telekinesis. Just think about what you want to move.

+For BRP+
Nana: I have a taser function integrated into me. However, it reduces my power supply, so your shots are limited before I die out. You've got 5 shots. Use them wisely.

BRP's hold on Swimming Dalek began to get progressively looser as Swimming Dalek's body started to grow. Suddenly, the wires holding him snapped as Swimming Dalek transformed back into his giant, green ape form, grabbed BRP with his right hand, and then threw him across the room. BRP flew across the room and hit the opposite wall from where Swimming Dalek was standing. His armor saved him from the impact, but his breath was still knocked out of him.

Swimming Dalek stood in middle of the room, just watching him. He wasn't moving towards him, he was just standing there. Off in the distance, Bronze Statue had gone back to working on the generator. Then Swimming Dalek started walking towards BRP, growling to himself as he did. Right as he was about half way to him though, what seemed like an electric shock came out from BRP's wrist computer and hit Swimming Dalek, which caused him to let out a loud roar and fall to his knees.

"What the-" BRP tired to say before he was interrupted.

"BRP," Nana said to him. "I have a taser function integrated into me."

"Thanks," BRP said to her.

"However," she continued. "It reduces my power supply, so your shots are limited before I die out. You've got 5 more shots. Use them wisely." At that, BRP got a serious look on his face as he pulled himself off of the wall and drew a tranquilizer arrow from his quiver. Swimming Dalek, seeing this, leapt away from him onto the wall opposite of Bronze Statue and glowed orange again. When he cleared, he had changed into some kind of humanoid spider.... were spider thing and started skittering all over the wall towards the roof.

"Then don't do that again," BRP said to Nana as he followed Swimming Dalek. "We need you to turn the ship back on, and I'm pretty sure Hugh doesn't want you going anywhere either." The moment he finished that sentence, he threw his tranq arrow, but Swimming Dalek managed to dodge it as he leapt from the wall straight to the ceiling.

"Wait, you're-" Hugh tried to say before BRP interrupted him again.

"NOT NOW!" BRP screamed. "Do you have anything else that's useful?"

"I might," Nana replied to him. Suddenly, an idea came to BRP's head as she said that. Quickly, he pulled out all of the explosive arrows he had and threw them towards the entrance of the room before dumping the contents of his quiver onto the floor and kicking the assorted arrows around the room. "Bronze Statue," Nana said as he did this.

"Huh?" Bronze said as he heard her in his intercom.

"I have a synthetic mind processor attached that could help speed up what you're doing," Nana said to him. "It's made for artificial unicorn telekinesis. Just think about what you want to move."

BS: Thank you Nana! Telekinesis, now there's something I'm gonna have to duplicate. I never have gotten my hands on a field gener--
Nana and BRP: FOCUS!!!
BS: Right! *begins magicking the Dalek arm to manipulate it* Nana, it'll be time for you to jumpstart the generator soon. *muttering* "just put the key into the ignition," indeed. * end muttering* If I had any way to get home, and if it weren't for the amazing alien technology here –seriously, a Dalek ship and exploding spiders! – I'd go home to my projects. *turns around and notices – reeeeallly notices – the battle.* ummm, huh. Well then. I guess the Nyan Nyan Dance didn't quite work.
BRP: NO SHIT!
BS: *calls out to BRP* Don't worry! I'll switch the 5th screen around until I find something that'll hold him still!!! Starting with this! Then, moving on to THIS!!!!
BRP: I don't think that's gonna work!
BS: Oh. *goes back to talking to himself about alien scienc-y things he's found and wants to find* --and a portable telekinesis field! I can eliminate one of the steps in adapting non-humanoid hardware for human use with something like that! Truly, the ponies have some ––– Wait. Portable Telekinesis allowed me to use the plunger arm just as effectively as the one I have back home. *looks at Dalek wreckage.* Maybe...

"Wait, seriously!?" Bronze Statue explained, not exactly believing her.

"Yes," Nana replied to him. "It'll only work as long as I'm in the room with you. Just think about what you want to move. I'll do the rest."

"Uh, okay," Bronze Statue replied to her as he lifted up the Dalek plunger from his hand and let it float in front of him in a white magical aura. He could barely hold his childlike glee in when he saw this. "Thank you Nana! Telekinesis, now there's something I'm gonna have to duplicate. I never have gotten my hands on a field gener-"

"FOCUS!" Both Nana and BRP shouted at him as BRP kicked the last arrow away from him. From the ceiling, Swimming Dalek looked down at him.

"Right!" Bronze Statue said as he began manipulating the Dalek plunger onto the control console, which lit up as it recognized the Dalek appendage. "GOT IT! Nana, it'll be time for you to jumpstart the generator soon." Bronze Statue said to her. "I'm just putting the key in the ignition," Bronze Statue muttered to himself. "If I had any way to get home, and if it weren't for the amazing alien technology here –seriously, a Dalek ship and exploding spiders! I'd go home to my projects."

"Bronze!" Bronze Statue heard another voice in his communicator, this one Steve's. "What the f*ck's going in there? It sounds like you're fighting some kind of bear."

"We got this under control!" Bronze Statue replied to him. "Don't worry about it!"

"Wait, that doesn't answer my-!" Steve tried to say before Bronze Statue shut off his communicator, but only for a moment so that he wouldn't have to hear him talk.

Back on the ceiling, Swimming Dalek began to glow orange again. BRP watched as his body grew longer, much longer. When the glow cleared, Swimming Dalek had taken on the form of some kind of giant millipede with extraordinarily large pincers. He then started crawling around the ceiling, the sound of what sounded like rain hitting a tin roof filled the room as he did. BRP watched him move, his right blade raised. He spun his left one around and put it away though.

Suddenly, Swimming Dalek reared from the ceiling and wall and lunged at BRP. BRP however, spun to the side before he could hit him and kicked him right in his chin and knocking the top half of his body towards the wall to his left. Swimming Dalek's head hit the wall hard. He was stunned for a moment before his whole body began to glow orange again. When it cleared, his body resembled some kind of green starfish like creature whose base wasn't much larger than BRP and had only a single eye in the middle of it, which was colored purple. What was important though, was that from the base of his body, were the sixteen tentacles coming off of his body, each of which was well over ten feet long.

"Well I know you've seen enough hentai to know where this is going," Hugh said to BRP as they saw this.

"What's hentai?" Nana couldn't help but ask.

"BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP!" BRP shouted at them before Swimming Dalek started to whip his tentacles out at BRP. BRP cut the first one one off as it got close to him and spun around again. Another one came for him though and he rolled under it, grabbing a normal arrow as he did, which he then stabbed into one of the other tentacles that was already coming for him. A fourth tentacle however, managed to get around his angle and pulled him up into the air. Before he could get off the ground though, BRP managed to grab two tranq arrows from the ground with his left hand and stab them both into the tentacle.

BS: Nana, manipulate those dalek drones with your telekinesis and give me targeting control over their weapons. Lower the power output to a non-lethal level. Then get SD's custom suit down here so we can seal it up.

Nana: Ok.

BRP: *flying across the room again* Ohhhh SHIIIIIIIIT!
He lands on the ceiling where a half dozen tentacles try to hold him in place. A slowly, the tentacles begin to weaken as the two tranquilizer arrows take a small effect and he is able to cut one of the tentacles. SD, being powered by insanity alone at this point was still vainly trying to change his main body while keeping his five remaining tentacles on the ceiling with BRP. BRP cuts another tentacle and the others are weak enough to allow him to fall. SD slowly moves his head under BRP and extends his mouth. A dalek drone slams into him from the side and knocks him over to the side.
BS: Nana, that wasn't the shoot button, what's the shoot button.
Nana: the one that looks like a horse shoe.
BS: you mean the U key?
Nana: I DON'T KNOW! OUR LETTERING SYSTEM IS A BIT DIFFERENT!
BS: NO IT ISN'T! I HAVE SEEN YOU'RE KEYBOARDS!
Nana: THEY LOOK NOTHING LIKE YOUR'S!
BS: THAT'S BECAUSE WE DON'T HAVE HOOVES!
BRP: He's immune to my tranquilizers now guys. could I have a hand please.
BRP is now standing with one leg on either side of a gaping maw with a long, snakelike tongue trying to wrap itself around one of his legs.
BRP: I know you guys are having fun and all, but this tongue is getting faster.
As he says that, he cuts off the tongue and another two tongues grow from SD's mouth to attack his other leg. He bends over and cuts one off. Two more grow.
BRP: *matter-of-factly* shit, so now he's a hydra. Could you send a drone outside to get one of my- He reaches down and grabs one of the tongues and, using it to hold himself firmly to SD, leans over and reaches down to grab one of his flare arrows. He pulls himself back up to find that the interior jaws of SD have begun to spin like a meat grinder.
BRP: what... the... fuck?
He primes the flare to it's 5 second delay and tosses it in to the mouth. It passes through the first sets of rotating jaws and goes off, burning it's way into SD's throat. A convulsion in SD's body send's BRP flying again and this time, he manages to backflip and catch himself on his feet on the opposite wall. Another mouth at the end of what looks like a badly burnt string of intestine shoots out of SD and gets cut on BRP's upraised sword, the force keeping him placed on the wall that he is currently standing on.
BRP: BS, strap yourself down and turn off the gravity in here.
BS: Why?
BRP: So I can have the same mobility as he does.
BS: ok.
He straps himself into his chair with some of the wiring from the dalek plunger attachment.
BS: disable the artificial gravity in the auxiliary generator room please Nana.
Nana: Emergency power diverted into the life support. Life support Now functioning at 15% capacity.
BS: wait what?
BRP is now standing on a wall and is forcing SD up from the floor. He throws the insane multiform into the ceiling.
BRP: Hugh, enable magnetic soles, zero gravity movement protocol.
Hugh: Sir.
BRP launches himself off of the wall and tackles the writhing body of SD in mid air, twisting both himself and the body to allow him to put his feet to the floor. A tentacle grows out of SD's side, a needle point at the end and jabs into BRP's leg. Self-sealant foam covers it and locks the tentacle in place, but not before some droplets of blood ooze out into the vacuum and start to float around. Painkillers start to pump into the area in minute doses, neutralizing the pain. Even so, BRP feels it and it weakens him for just a moment. Another tentacle stabs his other leg. Then BRP slams SD down onto the plating right in front of him. The two tentacles twist inside of him, forcing his legs to weaken further. The door to the auxiliary engine room bursts open to reveal SD's dalek shell. It is open and inviting for SD to jump inside. A recognized place of safety for him, SD dives inside of it and seals himself up in it before all control over the casing is removed by Nana. A sudden mad thrashing comes out of the dalekanium prison.
BS: Nana, please turn on the artificial gravity again.
Nana: Ok
BRP: NO, DON'T!
The gravity turns on and BRP, still standing on a wall drops, one of his legs breaking at the odd angle. This time, for the mercy of it, Hugh uses his suit's painkiller injectors to knock him out cold.

"OH SHIT!" BRP shouted as the tentacles threw him towards the ceiling, which drew the attention of Bronze Statue, who had just made it to yet another interface, if only but rewiring the computer a little bit. BRP then hit the ceiling where six tentacles came up to try and hold him in pace. However, the tranquilizer arrows that BRP stabbed Swimming Dalek with had started to take effect, as Swimming Dalek's hold with the tentacles on BRP had begun to grow progressively weaker. Swimming Dalek however, through pure insanity, managed to keep his hold on BRP, at least for a few more moments.

Once he was loose enough, BRP cut one of the tentacles holding him, and the rest, having been weakened by the tranquilizer, loosened their grip enough to allow him to fall. Just before he could reach the ground however, Swimming Dalek began to glow orange again as he moved directly under BRP. When the orange glow cleared, Swimming Dalek had taken on the form of some kind of giant toad. When he opened his mouth however, row after row of teeth presented themselves.

Quickly, BRP spread his two legs and put one foot against the edge of Swimming Dalek's massive maw, which upon closer inspection was larger than BRP was, and the other foot on the other edge of his maw, right against, and partially on top of, his top row of teeth. As he stood there, a long, snakelike tongue came up from somewhere within the depths of Swimming Dalek. Suddenly, without warning, the top half of a Dalek corpse slammed into him, engulfed in a white magic. Swimming Dalek however, didn't move, as he kept his feet planted firmly on the spot where he was. One of his eyes though, looked right at Bronze Statue, who had a very worried look on his face.

"Bad idea," Bronze Statue said to himself. Suddenly, with this distraction, BRP swung his sword and cut off the tongue that was holding him, causing Swimming Dalek to scream in pain. Relief however, was short as three more tongues came up from Swimming Dalek's mouth.

"Sh*t, so now he's a hydra," BRP said as he looked around the room. Close to him, he noticed one of his arrows, but it was too far from him, he couldn't reach it. Then he looked at the corpse of the Dalek that hit Swimming Dalek, then at Bronze Statue, who was looked back at him.

"Bronze!" BRP shouted at him as he pointed to the arrow. "Get me that arrow!" Bronze Statue didn't bother to ask any questions as he grabbed the arrow in question with Nana's magic, then threw it over to BRP, who caught it. Wasting no time as the three tongues wrapped around him and tried to pull him in, BRP primed the arrow and dropped it into Swimming Dalek's massive mouth.

The arrow, which had turned out to be a flare, burned the inside of Swimming Dalek's mouth as a convulsion through his body sent BRP flying again towards the opposite wall. However, BRP managed to backflip over and catch his feet on the wall, only to see Swimming Dalek quickly transform into a purple version of the starfish creature he had transformed into earlier, though with only four tentacles, and throw out a single tentacle towards him. BRP quickly held up his sword and cut it, but the force of the impact kept him placed on the wall he was currently standing on.

Not sure what to do for a moment, BRP looked at Swimming Dalek again, in place of the eye on his base body there was only a large mouth, though he seemed to be looking right back at him. Then he looked towards Bronze Statue, and got another idea.

"Bronze!" BRP shouted at him, and Bronze listened. "Can you turn off the artificial gravity from where you are!?"

"Maybe, why?" Bronze shouted back.

"So I can have the same mobility as he does!" Bronze Statue took a moment to think about that, but then he saw one of the other four tentacles staring to move towards him.

"Okay!" he shouted as he ran back to the console, and after some fiddling, turned off the artificial gravity.

"Emergency power diverted into the life support. Life support Now functioning at 15% capacity," the console said to him as he did this.

"Wait, what!?" Bronze Statue couldn't help but exclaim.

BRP on the other hand, now that he was free of gravity, forced Swimming Dalek off of the floor from the way he was being pinned to the wall and tossed Swimming Dalek up to the ceiling.

"Hugh, enable magnetic soles," BRP said to Hugh. "Zero gravity movement protocol."

"Sir," Hugh responded

At that, BRP launched himself off of the wall and tackled the writing body of Swimming Dalek in mid air. As they flew he twisted his body and his feet so that he landed on the opposite wall appropriately, as BRP landed on the wall with Swimming Dalek pinned under him, the magnetic soles of his boots keeping him in place.

However, one of Swimming Dalek's four tentacles moved up towards him, and from the tip, a three inch, stinger like thing came out of it and stabbed BRP in his right leg.

"AAAAGGHH!!!" BRP screamed as Swimming Dalek pulled the tentacle out. Some self sealant foam from his armor covered the wound quickly, but not before some droplets of blood floated out into the sans gravity environment they were now in. While that was happening, painkillers started to pump through the area in minute doses, neutralizing the pain. However, BRP could still feel himself weakening. Suddenly, one of Swimming Dalek's other tentacles stabbed him in the other leg. BRP screamed in pain again as he slammed Swimming Dalek's body into the wall below him, but he could still feel himself growing weaker.

Bronze Statue, seeing this, went back to the computer and started working the console again.

Suddenly, from the entrance to the room, BRP saw someone else move in and move towards the center of the room, but it wasn't a person, it was an empty Dalek shell. Swimming Dalek's personal Dalek shell. Sensing a familiar, safe, haven from all of this, Swimming Dalek's body began to glow orange again as he transformed into his snake like form and writhed his way from the wall to his personal Dalek shell. As soon as he was inside however, the Dalek shell closed on him, effectively locking him inside.

Right as the Dalek shell turned on however, several shots of electricity that seemed to come out of nowhere zap the shell. Suddenly, Swimming Dalek's Dalek shell looked as if there was electricity shooting through it, because there was.

Then, from the entrance, BRP noticed several Daleks enter the room, with Dalek Regulus leading the, and Dalek Aldebaran behind him followed by six more Dalek drones. Suddenly, without warning, the gravity in the room came back on, and BRP dropped from the wall to the floor, his leg breaking at an odd angle.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!" BRP screamed as Bronze Statue rushed out from the console towards him. Painkillers shot through BRP's suit again. This time however, Hugh, for the mercy of it, injected enough painkillers into him to knock him out cold as BRP's eyes slowly started to close.

Over with Swimming Dalek, his personal Dalek shell started to shake around a bit as all manner of screams, howls, growls, and shrieks could be heard from inside the shell. The eight Daleks surrounding him however, from their blasters, kept shooting what looked like concentrated blasts of electricity at him, keeping him still. Then, suddenly, from all of their plunger like appendages, light started coming from them, and the light grew around them until they were all connected in a circle. Then, the circle of light grew smaller as it closed around Swimming Dalek's personal shell and kept him still. Then, when that one was in place, the Dalek's created another one, and then another, and then another. After what seemed like twenty rings of light, Swimming Dalek's shell wasn't budging an inch, even with the screams inside.

"The Commander is secured," Dalek Regulus said to the others. "Transport him to the designated sick bay."

"We obey!" the other Daleks said as they, using some form of magnetism, carried Swimming Dalek's shell with him inside out of the room with Dalek Aldebaran leading them, leaving only Dalek Reulus behind.

"What the f*ck was that about!?" Bronze Statue asked as he walked over to them.

"Special containment protocol," Dalek Regulus replied as he turned to face him. "In the event of our commander experiencing what you humans would call insanity, dementia, or any illness which would turn him hostile, he is to be detained and move to a special Dalek cell where he may experience recovery."

"Has this ever happened before?" Bronze Statue couldn't help but ask.

"No," Dalek Regulus replied.

"But you had a plan anyway just in case it did happen?" Bronze Statue asked, slightly confused.

"I am this legions lead strategist Dalek," Dalek Regulus said to him. "It is my duty to plan and prepare for any scenario, regardless of how impossible it may seem."

"So...." Bronze Statue said. "You have plans for everything."

"Yes," Regulus replied.

"Do you have a plan for if you go crazy?" Bronze Statue asked. Regulus didn't say anything to him at that. He just kept staring at him. This silent staring context between them lasted for only few moments before they were interrupted.

"Bronze Statue!" Hugh Jackman said in Bronze Statue's com out of nowhere.

"Hugh!?" Bronze Statue exclaimed as he turned back around and ran over to BRP's sleeping form. Surely enough, his wrist communicator was still on. "You're still online!?"

"Of course I'm still online," Hugh replied to him. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Uhhhhhhhhhhh.........." Bronze Statue said, but Nana cut him off.

"Look, regardless of our functionality," Nana said to him. "There is still the matter at hand." At that, Bronze Statue looked from BRP's wrist computer back to the console that he left, then back to the wrist computer, then back to the console. She was right. He still had a ship to activate after all.

-On the bridge of the Starship Enterprise-

"Damnit, Bronze come in!" Jim screamed into the mic again, but again got no response.

"Are they dead?" Tommy asked, worried as he ran up to the console with her.

"Doesn't look like it," Ramirez said as he didn't take his eyes away from his screen. "Scans are still showing humanoid life forms aboard the ship but-" At that, before he could even finish his sentence, from where they all were, outside of the Dalek Flagship, The Caesar, they saw something. It was small at first, just a couple lights, but then, it's engines started to roar, and soon the entire ship whirred to life with it's former glory.

"They did it...." Slim said as she stood up from her console. "Those stupid sons of b*tches did it!"

"WHOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!" Tommy, Doc, The Janitor, Registered Anonymous all shouted with joy as the ship came online.

"YES!!!" Tommy said with a fist pump.

"Very much yes!" Registered Anonymous joined him. "This calls for COOKIES FOR EVERYONE!!!!!" That caused everyone to cheer even more, even some of the Enterprise crew. "Yes, there will be some for you all as well." Registered Anonymous said to Sulu, who just rolled his eyes.

Then, suddenly, from the middle of the room. Something happened. It happened quick, and it happened fast, but it made everybody stop. Jim had stood up, literally leapt from her chair, glomped Slim, threw her arms around her, and planted her lips onto her's as they started making out. Yes, Slim and Jim, the only two female hackers of the group, were making out with each other.

"Hey, uh Tom," Calvin said to Tommy.

"Yeah," Tommy replied to him.

"Is it weird that.... this makes me feel incredibly disappointed..... like, the most disappointed that you could-"

"Oh just shut your hopeless, nerd like trap and deal with it," Registered Anonymous suddenly said as he appeared out of nowhere next to them.

"Wait," The Janitor said to him. "You knew about this?"

"Of course," Registered Anonymous replied to them in a voice that almost sounded like Bane's. "What, you didn't?" At that, the three of them looked away from him, feeling..... a little bit like idiots.

"So...." Jim finally said to Slim after she pulled her mouth off of hers. "Whadoya say we find somewhere a little bit.... more private."

"Do you even need to-" Slim was about to respond before something else caught their attention.

"Hey uh, guys," Bronze Statue's voice suddenly said from the intercom. Unfortunately, Steve got to it before any of the others could respond.

"Bronze you son of a b*tch where were you!?" he practically shouted at him, which made every one else's eyes roll.

"Busy," Bronze Statue replied.

"Busy!" Steve yelled. "What do you mean-"

"Look, as touched as I am to know that you do care about me," Bronze Statue said, interrupting him. "We would appreciate it if you could.... I don't know, pick us up."

"Roger," Sulu said as he took the coms from Steve before turning to the rest of the crew. "Beam them back to the ship. Now." At that, the rest of the crew of the Enterprise got back to work.

-The transporter room, a few minutes later-

Sulu, Chekov, Steve, Registered Anonymous and a few of the other hackers all walked into the room as both Bronze Statue and BRP materialized out of the transporters. Almost as soon as he appeared though, BRP fell to the floor.

"Holy f*ckity sh*t!" Steve shouted as he ran over to him, but was pushed aside by Sulu and Registered Anonymous.

"What happened?" Sulu asked.

"It's kind of a long story," Bronze Statue said. "Right now though, we need to get him to a med bay, NOW!!!!"

"I GOT HIM!" Registered Anonymous shouted sounding... for the first time that everyone there had heard it, worried as hell, as he ran over, and took BRP from Bronze Statue. Miraculously enough, he was able to lift him, his armor, and everything else on him by himself.

"Contact Nurse Chapel, get her to the med bay immediately," Sulu said with authority to one of the other crew members at one of the stations in the transporter room.

"Aye sir," he responded before getting to it.

"Lead the way," Registered Anonymous said, again, worried as hell, as they all rushed out of the room towards the med bay with Registered Anonymous carrying BRP.

Outside of the Enterprise, the Dalek Flagship, The Caesar was flying proudly again. It's furnace lit and roaring like it was meant to again.

Author's Note

status: unedited

And thus, the party's over...... WITH A VE- (feat. guest authors BrownDog77 and MasterSmasher)

-Meanwhile, Planetside-

-At Roseluck's House-

Roseluck had just walked through her front door with Line Draft following shortly behind her, the two of them having left the party immediately after the incident that they NEARLY caused.

"I'm sorry, Daedaltheus," Roseluck said to Line Draft as she closed the door behind them.

"Sorry," Line Draft responded as suddenly, the human avatar of Daedaltheus split from pony Line Draft in a manner not to dissimilar from teleporting so that both Daedaltheus and Line Draft were in the room with her, albeit they were now separate entities. "You could have killed everyone with the Anti-Life Equation, including Line Draft!" Line Draft, as much as he wanted to say something, kept his mouth as shut as he possibly could.

"Not everyone," Roseluck said as she looked up at the human Daedaltheus, "I mean, you wouldn't die, and-"

"THAT’S NOT THE POINT!" Daedaltheus practically screamed at her before she could finish. "YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OVER THE ANTI-LIFE EQUATION!"

"You've used it before, right?" Roseluck said back up to him. "So what's the difference?"

"CONTROL, ROSELUCK!" Daedaltheus shouted back at her. "F*CKING CONTROL! WHEN I USE IT, I CAN CONTROL IT AND NOT DESTROY MYSELF!"

"What?" Roseluck responded, now suddenly a bit worried. Daedaltheus just let out a sigh.

"The Anti-Life Equation destroys all matter, all life," Daedaltheus said to her. "Including the user."

"How do you know this?" Roseluck asked.

"Because the being I watched use it destroyed himself in the process," Daedaltheus explained to her. His usual, calm, yet still quite intimidating demeanor returning. "Look," he said after he calmed himself down. "You can use it but only when you have learned to control and only use it in extreme circumstances, when you have no choice."

"When did you have to use it then?" Roseluck asked him. "You’re the great Daedaltheus, Destroyer of Worlds, the Omega to the Alpha, and Last of the Imperials." At that, Daedaltheus was silent for a moment.

"Ages ago," he said after a few moments. "I faced an enemy race of god-like beings that tormented my people so I destroyed them. Unfortunately, one of them fled before I could finish the destruction of the Continuum."

"Oh," Roseluck said as the severity of the situation quickly sank in. "I’m sorry, really I am."

"It’s fine, you crazy little mare," Daedaltheus said to her as he bent down and hugged her, his right hand tussling her mane a little bit as he did. Roseluck just laughed at that comment a little bit as she hugged him back. "It was bound to happen sooner or later. Anyway, I have to actually take care of some business so I will leave you two alone." As he said that, Daedaltheus then let go of Roseluck and walked back over to her front door. Both Roseluck and Line Draft watched for a moment as its color changed from it's usual yellow color to that of what could only be described as 'blood red'. Once it was completely, Daedaltheus opened the red door, and passed through it into the black void beyond, closing the door behind him as he left. Quicker than it had changed, Roseluck's door changed back once he was gone.

"So, now that he’s gone…" Line Draft finally said after the few moments of awkward silence was over. "Do you.... want to-?"

"Line Draft," Roseluck said to him before he could finish. "Let me say this."

"Oka-" Before Line Draft could even finish that one word, Roseluck, grabbed him and pulled him so close to her that their eyeballs may have actually been touching. The look on her face, as best as Line Draft could see it, could best be described as ravenous.

"HERE I AM!" Roseluck literally screamed in his face. "ROCK ME LIKE A HURRICANE!"

"YES MA'AM!" Line Draft responded before Roseluck pulled him upstairs.

-Meanwhile, in Pinkie Pie's apartment-

After the original party downstairs had disbanded, RazortheAwesome, Pinkie Pie, Twister, Straight Edge, Blazewings Thunder, The pegasus that was over there who was eating all the cheese (whose name was revealed to be Night Air oddly enough), and the brown dog continued up to Pinkie Pie's apartment, where unbeknownst to all of Ponyville, an EVEN MORE EPIC party was beginning, or so Pinkie claimed, but given that all those present were authors, artists, and editors, such a boast wasn't that completely unbelievable.

As all of the authors entered Pinkie Pie's room, their jaws collectively dropped. Well, all of their jaws dropped except for the brown dog's who just let out a wicked grin. Pinkie Pie had inexplicably decked out her apartment with a 70 inch plasma widescreen TV (with Netflix) with a Wii-U hooked up to it, a beer pong table, beer bongs, shot glasses, board games such as Cards Against Humanity and Drunken Charades, and a wicked stereo system, and a snack table complete with nachos, cupcakes, candy, cookies, and all kinds of baked goods.

There was however, just one thing missing.

"Soooooooooooooo........ what do ya think?" Pinkie Pie asked the collective authors with a suspiciously large grin while they all shook their heads around to get their jaws back into place.

"Um...." was all Razor could say at first. Pinkie Pie leaned into him eagerly, her grin widening even more. "I'm not going to question where you got all of this, Pinkie, but um....."

"Yes, Razor Bazer," Pinkie Pie said as she blinked innocently at him.

"Where's the booze?" Razor asked her. At that, she leaned away from him and started laughing innocently while rubbing the back of her head.

"Oh, well.... funny story about that," Pinkie Pie said while still feigning innocence. "I couldn't buy any." She finished that last bit with another incredibly wide, completely innocent smile.

"WHAT!" Night Air practically screamed while then proceeding to freak the f*ck out. "THAT'S NOT FUNNY!!! THAT IS THE OPPOSITE OF FUNNY!!!! I NE-"

"Calm down man," Razor said to him while putting a hoof between him and Pinkie Pie. "Pinkie," he then said as he turned back to face her. "Why couldn't you buy any?"

"Well, apparently there's a law where you guys are from that forbids liquor stores from selling to talking animals," Pinkie then explained to them. "Who'd think of it?"

"Really...." Twister said, raising an eyebrow. "I mean really? That exists?"

"Oooohhhhhhhhhhhh.............. that may be my fault actually," the brown dog then spontaneously said out of nowhere.

"What, how?" Razor asked him, genuinely curious.

"Well......" the brown dog said. "It was St. Patrick's Day, I was bored, poor decisions were made, and more than one cross continental fire was started before sundown.... lets just leave it at that." As he finished that sentence, he then feigned his own innocent smile at all of them. All he received in return was all of the other authors, and Pinkie Pie for some reason, leering at him like he had just admitted that he robbed twenty banks.

"Oooooooookkkkkaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyy," Razor said after a few moments of leering before letting out a loud sigh. "All right, I'll be right back. I know where we can get some." At that, Razor suddenly disappeared with a flash of light, Q style. Three seconds later, he returned, and there was booze everywhere.

"Well, that was quick," Night Air said when he saw all that. "How'd you manage that so fast?"

"Hey, space is warped and time is bendable, duh," Straight Edge answered for Razor.

"You're quoting something, aren't you?" Night Air said to Straight Edge.

"Eeyup," Straight Edge just replied to him with a smirk on his face. While they were talking, Blaze took a few steps forward and examined the liquor. Practically all of it was varying forms of hard liquor, from whisky to vodka, to gin, to rum, all kinds of things really, and all of it looked expensive.

"This looks like several thousand dollars worth of booze," she said as she examined each bottle before she turned back to face Razor. "Where the bloody hell did you get all of this?"

"Lets just say," Razor began. "That some asshole out there keeps forgetting that this MY story and that I'M the one putting words onto the pages." When he finished that, the expression on his face was that of a COMPLETELY perfect smirk. It took a few moments, but once everybody there got what he meant, all of their faces practically matched his.

"All right then," Pinkie Pie said as she slammed one hoof into the other. "LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!"

"WHOOOO!!!!!!!" Every one of them screamed at the top of their lungs as the brown dog ran over to the bar and Pinkie Pie practically teleported over to the stereo and turned it on. After less than a second, the music started playing, no, BLASTING.... IT WAS BLASTING.

The Party Continues

Party Hard by Andrew W.K.

"All right, who wants to do Irish Car Bombs!?" The brown dog practically screamed as he started opening up the liquor bottles. "Bet ya can't beat me, I can chug 'em in one second flat, I sh*t you not."

"I'm in!" Razor said as he walked over to the table.

"Me too," Night Air said as he walked right up next to Razor.

"And me!" Pinkie Pie said as she appeared right in between them.

"Same here," Twister said as he walked up too. Blaze just looked at the assortment of liquor for a moment before deciding.

"Ah why the hell not," she eventually said. "BRING IT ON MUTT!"

Then at that, the brown dog poured them all Irish Car Bombs and the chugged them down at a speed even Rainbow Dash would be jealous of. Afterwards, Razor poured himself a shot of some REALLY expensive whiskey when he noticed Straight Edge just sitting at the edge of the table eating a cinnamon bun.

"You don't think it's gonna get to loud in here?" he asked all of them. "Especially with the music."

"It's fine," Razor the assured him. "I made the whole room soundproof for the night."

"Nice," Straight Edge said, liking it. "But why are we still in pony form?"

"SHOTS, SHOTS, SHOTS, SHOTS, SHOTS!!!!" Everyone else shouted continuously as they all threw back another shot, including Razor.

"Because this place is sound proofed, not drunken idiot proofed, and I don't want to take a chance on a drunken human other than Jason stumbling out here and interfering with the story, seriously, I have enough of that dealing with Daedaltheus and the side story guys. Also I don't really know what half you guys actually look like, so there is that." Razor explained.

"What about Pinkie Pie?" Straight Edge then asked, kind of nervously.

"Teehee, this stuff is SOOOOOOOO much tastier than cider!" Pinkie Pie said as she threw back another shot of.... something, they couldn't tell what it was.

"To tell you the truth, I honestly don't know," Razor said, now sounding himself a bit worried. Straight Edge however, seemed slightly more worried. The two of them looked at each other for a moment, then back at Pinkie Pie, then back at each other. After a few moments, they both just shrugged and silently agreed to just deal with that when it came to it before Razor downed another shot.

At that, every one of them kept drinking like mad, all of them laying back shots of stuff like there was nothing else. All of them, except for Straight Edge. A fact that Night Air seemed to notice.

"Hey man, why ain't you drinking?"

"What," Straight Edge just said before he realized he was talking to him. "Oh... um.... I don't drink."

"WHAT!!!!" The brown dog exclaimed as he suddenly appeared in between the two of them.

"I said I don't drink," Straight Edge said again.

"What do you mean you don't drink?" Night Air asked, sounding a little more than confused.

"I can't be any clearer than that," Straight Edge then said, slightly annoyed. "I don't drink, I mean, this OC's name is Straight Edge for crying out loud. I'm not even being subtle about it."

"Oh," Night Air said, suddenly feeling a little stupid for not getting it earlier. It was kind of obvious after all.

"No worries man," The brown dog said to him as he threw a paw around his neck. "That just means that you get to experience the alternative."

"What alternative?" Straight Edge asked, not really liking where this could potentially be going.

"Sugar high!" the brown dog responded while smiling mischievously.

"Ummmm....." was all Straight Edge could say.

"Pinkie!" The brown dog shouted, only for Pinkie Pie to appear right next to him within less than a second. "Bring the most sugariest thing you got and a beer bong."

"Okie dokie pokie mokie loki," Pinkie Pie said before dashing off to... somewhere.

"Night Air, Twister, hold him," the brown dog then said.

"Wait wha-" was all Straight Edge could say before Night Air and Twister, the latter of whom came out of god damned nowhere punched on Straight Edge and kept him from struggling. Less than a second later, Pinkie Pie came back with a beer bong and something that looked like a gallon of coffee. "What is tha-" Straight Edge tried to say before the brown dog put the bong into his mouth.

"Hey, it's like you say in your story," the brown dog said to him while Pinkie Pie started pouring the coffee down his gullet. Thankfully though, it wasn't hot. "COFFEE IS COCAINE IN LIQUID FORM!!!" After the last drop had been chugged, Straight Edge's pupils suddenly dilated to the size of his whole eyes as he spontaneously reached enlightenment. Suddenly, for no explainable reason, he could see the inner workings of the universe..... or at least the universe that he was in right now, which since it was an MLP fan fiction, he could see the words being typed out as they happened, giving the whole world around him meaning. He could even see these worlds right now. Hi Ken.

"Hello.... hello..... hello....." he said into the everythingness that spread itself out before him. His voice echoing further as it went on. "I know everything.... I know everything.... I know everything.... I am everything.... I am everything.... I am everything.... There are other worlds than these… there are other worlds than these… there are other worlds than these…"

Unfortunately, the actual words that came out of his mouth at the party were quite different.

"Ohmygodthisissoawesome,whydidn’tIdothisbefore?Ifeellikeadoughnutanyoneelsewantadoughnut!?" He practically screamed at everybody at the party. "IwouldsharebutIdon’thaveanyatthemoment.Butthefutureisinthepastsoitmatersnot,let’splayvideogames!!!!!!" Even before the last word left his mouth, he sped over to the couch, jumped over it.... Literally jumped over it, and turned on the TV and Wii.

"Damn, Pinkie," Twister said as he saw this happen. "What did you give him?"

"Oh just half the dosage of this formula I made," Pinkie Pie explained to him, albeit with a slight slur to her voice. "It's 300% sugar, 500% caffeine, and 200% love. I invented it all by myself." At that, she just smiled at him. Twister honestly did not know what to think.

"Thatagirl, Pinkie," the brown dog said as he appeared right next to her and gave her a hoof/paw bump. "That's why we love you."

"Thanks Brown Dog," Pinkie just said to him.

"Except for Razor," the brown dog said as he secretly leaned in closer and whispered. "He secretly hates you."

"What?" Pinkie almost shouted, but kept herself from it.

"You did not hear that from me," the brown dog said before he suddenly ran off to the couch just as the game in the Wii was coming on, which turned out to be none other than Super Smash Bros. Seeing this, Razor quickly vaulted himself over the couch and took another controller, with Blaze sneaking up out of nowhere and taking the last one. Pinkie Pie just leaned over the couch and started watching them all while Night Air and Twister went back to playing the game of beer pong that they had been playing before.

Within moments they had all picked their characters. Razor was Link, Ken had picked Sonic, the brown dog had picked Fox, and Blaze picked Kirby, and even sooner they had picked Final Destination and the game began.

"Gottagofast! Gottagofast! Gottagofast! Gottagofast!" Straight Edge kept changing as he kept zipping around the stage as Sonic. Razor kept dodging everyone at first while the brown dog kept to the edge and was shooting everyone, at least he was until Blaze came out of nowhere with Kirby and kicked him. At first the match seemed to be going well and was even, until Razor and Straight Edge started teaming up on the brown dog.

"Oh what the hell!!!" The brown dog shouted as he realized this. Less than a minute later, Blaze did that move with Kirby where he sucked up Fox and then dropped off the stage. "GOD DAMNIT!!!!"

"You mad bro?" Blaze said to the brown dog as she leaned in closer to him and gave him a grin that could rival Pinkie Pie's in size, though she had to admit it did hurt her a little. This left only Razor and Straight Edge to fight each other.

"STOP MOVING!!!" Razor shouted at him as he threw another forward smash at him.

"NEVER!!!!" Straight Edge shouted as he drop kicked Link with Sonic. He was about to punch him before Link rolled away and hit him with a boomerang.

Back at the beer pong table however....

"I said rack it like a diamond!" Twister shouted to Night Air, very much disproved by his cup stacking abilities.

"This is a diamond," Night Air said to him, confused.

"No it's not!" Twister shouted at him.

"Is too!" Night Air shouted back at him.

"That's a triangle!" Twister shouted at him again.

"Have you ever seen diamonds from the side!?" Night Air shouted back at him. "They look just like this!"

"What kind of cheap-ass diamonds are you-" Twister tried to shout, but Razor cut him off.

"OH MY GOD WHO THE HELL CARES, JUST PLAY THE GAME!!!" Razor shouted back at them, unfortunately, this momentary distraction resulted in Straight Edge knocking him off the stage in Super Smash Bros and defeating him. "OH COME ON!!!!!" Razor had to shouted as he turned back to see that.

"BOOYA MOTHAF*CKAS!!!!!!!" Straight Edge shouted as he stood up on his two hind legs and thrust his hooves up into the air.

Hours of drinking, everyone getting their chance at Super Smash Bros, and more drinking, they had all decided to move on to karaoke, with Pinkie Pie and Blaze taking the latest song.

"So you think I got a funny face?" Blaze sang aloud to nobody in particular.

"I got no worries," Pinkie Pie chimed in.

"And I don't know why," Both of them sang. "I don't know why."

"Oh I gotta sing with some disgrace," Blaze then chimed in.

"I'm in no hurry," Pinkie Pie chimed in again.

"And I don't know why... I don't know why," they both sang at the same time.

"Anymore..." Blaze sang.

"No, no, no..." Pinkie Pie sang along with her.

"So cum on, feel the noize!" Blaze then sang as the chorus came on.

"Girls rock your boys!" Pinkie Pie then sang after her.

"We'll get wild, wild, wild!!!" They both then sang as they threw their hooves out to the crowd that wasn't there. "Wild wild wild!!!"

While that was happening, a very much drunk out of his mind Razor and an equally drunk brown dog sat on the couch watching Night Air and Straight Edge fight each other in Super Smash Bros where Night Air was Samus and Straight Edge was Captain Falcon. Night Air admittedly wasn't doing much better than Razor was at the moment.

"That thing with Rarity was friggin hilarious man..." Razor said to the brown dog after taking another shot of... something, they had lost track of exactly what it was they were drinking by this point.

"Yeah, you lost your sh*t there," the brown dog replied to him as he threw back another drink. "Thought you were gonna hack up a lung or something."

"Oh man, that was priceless," Razor just said.

"You know..." the brown dog said as a mischievously evil grin grew across his face. "I can keep doing that if you want, no problem."

"What, like every time Rarity thinks about dicks, you show up and mess with her?" Razor said to him.

"Fine ass much," the brown dog replied to him.

"Oh my god!" Razor exclaimed, and again, he had to keep himself from laughing, lest he pass out. "YES! DO THAT! Just troll the sh*t out of her man." And at that, Razor couldn't keep it back anymore, and neither could the brown dog.

"If you've given me permission to troll, then troll I shall," the brown dog said once the laughter had slowed. Razor on the other hand, still couldn't contain himself. As he kept laughing however, the brown dog's grin widened even more of an even more mischievous idea entered his mind. "Actually....." the brown dog said after a few minutes. "Why stop with her?" At that, Razor stopped laughing and just looked at him.

"You aren't thinking what I think you're-?" Razor asked, but the brown dog cut him off again.

"Oh f*ck the hell yes," was all the brown dog said. At that, Razor's smile couldn't help but get as wide as his.

"DO IT!!!" Razor practically shouted at him. "Go nuts, do whatever you want to him. As long as it doesn't interfere at all with the main or side story, go as nuts as you possibly want on him."

"My friend," the brown dog said to Razor as he lowered his sunglasses a bit. "You have no idea what you just unleashed."

"Dude," Razor replied. "I know what I unleashed, and that's why I unleashed it." As he said that, he just grinned at the brown dog.

"SNOWFLAME FEELS NO PAIN!!!" Straight Edge then shouted before he FALCON PUNCHED Night Air off of the stage, effectively winning the match.

"GOD DAMNIT!!!" Night Air shouted to nobody.

The playing of the videogames ended a few rounds later, after everyone collectively agreed to stop playing because Straight Edge kept winning. Instead, they all went back to the table with the booze and kept throwing back more shots. Straight Edge on the other hand, was laying in the corner, staring endlessly into Gummy's eyes unblinking as the two of them commenced an EPIC BATTLE OF WILLS THAT WOULD SPAN THE COSMOS AND BEYOND!!!!

"It's amazing," Straight Edge finally said to the unblinking reptile after a while. "Of all the monsters in this story from Lovecraftian horrors to psychotic, homicidal authors, you are by far the most evil thing I've encountered." Gummy didn't say or do anything in response. He just continued to stare. "You patiently bide your time, waiting for the opportune moment to strike.... You are clever." Still Gummy kept staring at him. "All of creation is no match for you, and yet you sit there, playing the innocent." At that, Gummy blinked. Straight Edge's eyes went narrow as he kept staring back at him. "I'm watching you..."

Meanwhile, at the bar that was basically the table where all of the liquor was, Blaze and Twister were talking about.... stuff...

"So what was the deal with that note that Daedaltheus left, 'I'm always watching you'," Twister said to Blaze.

"I'm guessing he's some kind of voyeur," she replied back to him. "Probably gets off on watching us."

"Woah woah woah..." Twister suddenly said as his eyes went wide. "Do you think he watches us.... all the time..... even when we're alone.... like in private?" Blaze couldn't help but giggle at that.

"Most likely," she said to Twister. "And you should be very ashamed of yourself."

"Hey!" Twister shouted back to her. He would have said more, but then suddenly, Blaze's eyes went as wide as her head, as if she suddenly just realized something. She then leaned in closer, cupped a hoof over her mouth and started whispering.

"Oh my god I've just figured it out," she whispered to Twister. "Why Razor works with this guy even after he's derailed this story, why they are so hostile to each other, and why they don't actually fight it out. Razor and Daedaltheus obviously used to be lovers and they must have gone through some kind of very nasty breakup that neither of them has gotten over..."

"You do realize that you just whispered that to me, right?" Razor said to her as Blaze quickly looked up and realized that she did not in fact whisper that to Twister, but had instead turned around and whispered it to Razor, who had walked over just to see how they were doing. "And that's not true at all."

"Oooooohhhhhhhhhhhh," Blaze said as she nodded to him before turning back around towards Twister and whispered to him. "Careful, he's onto us." Unfortunately for her, Razor still heard that. Both Razor and Twister just rolled their eyes at that ridiculous idea.

The party did not end there however, and it would keep going as many more things happened, all through the night. Hey, it's not very often that the people writing this story get to be a part of it like this is it?

(This section of this chapter written by BrownDog77 and edited as needed by RazortheAwesome.)

-Meanwhile, at Risen Flagg's hotel-

"Thank you, again, for stepping in when you did, Risen Flagg," Trixie said to Risen Flagg as she, Flagg, and Joseph Curwen walked through the front door of the hotel they were staying at. "If you hadn't, I'm now sure what they would have-"

"Trixie," Risen Flagg said before she could even finish. "I know that you've been to this town before, and I know that you didn't exactly leave the best impression on the ponies that live here, but that doesn't mean that you have to be afraid of them." At that, Trixie looked away from Risen Flagg towards the floor.

"You don't know," Trixie said to him as her eyes started to tear up a little. "You really don't know."

"Actually," Risen Flagg replied to her as he walked around in front of her, gently placed a hoof under her chin and lifted her head back up so that she was looking at him again. "I do. I know all about the incident with the Ursa Minor, and I know about what happened with the alicorn amulet, but you know what, that's all in the past now." Trixie didn't say anything to him, and his words didn't do much to keep her eyes from tearing up even more. "You are right about one thing, these ponies do have every right to despise you for what you did, but that doesn't mean that you have to be afraid of them, that you have to cower in fear like the element of kindness whenever they talk to you. You were cruel to them, I understand, but that's not you anymore." At that, the tears seemed to stop flowing. "Lots of things have happened since then, and because of them you aren't that pony anymore. You're a new pony now, you're my campaign manager, you're my pony." The moment those words hit her ears, Trixie suddenly didn't feel sad anymore. "And while they have every right to judge you for the pony that you were, but they have absolutely no right to judge you for the pony you are now." Risen Flagg stopped for a moment as he let out a sigh. "I'm sorry if I left you, even for a moment, while I was introducing myself to other ponies, but know this, I will never leave you, and I certainly won't let anypony, and I mean ANYPONY talk about my Trixie like that." At that, the dam broke. Trixie practically lunged forward and threw her hooves around Risen Flagg. While she was still crying, they were no longer tears of joy. "Shh...... There, there...." Risen Flagg said to her in his most soothing voice as he stroked her mane. As he did he looked past her at Joseph Curwen, who just rolled his eyes and walked away from them towards the stairs. After a few moments, he was gone. "Lets get some sleep," Risen Flagg then said to Trixie once Curwen had left. "Tomorrow's going to be a big day for all of us."

On the second floor, where the normal rooms were, and just below the third floor where all of the luxurious suites were (which was where Risen Flagg and Trixie's room was), Joseph Curwen walked out from the stairwell, only to immediately run into another pony that was walking in the opposite direction. Both Curwen and the other pony fell backwards onto their flanks and towels went everywhere the moment they hit.

"OH MY CELESTIA I'M SO SORRY!!!" The other pony frantically said to Curwen. Curwen rubbed his head for a moment, then looked back at the pony who hit him to see that she was one of the hotel maids. She was rather young unicorn, beige in color, and her mane and tail were dark brown in color. He couldn't see what he cutie mark was because of her maid outfit. Between the two of them, an assortment of all kinds of towels lay scattered all over the floor, which she was frantically trying to pick up. "I am so sorry sir, by Celestia I'm so sorry. I was just taking these downstairs and I didn't see you there and I- I'm just so sorry sir!!!!" Curwen, for his part, just sat still for a moment and let her talk before letting out a rather content sigh before he stood back up and readjusted his suit.

"It's quite all right," he said to her before he then bent down and started helping her pick up the towels.

"Oh, no, sir, you don't have to do that," the hotel maid said nervously to him. "I ran into you, and it's my job to-"

"No, I insist," Curwen said to her before she could finish as he pick up another towel and neatly folded it before setting down into a pile he was making. "I am not exactly innocent in this matter myself. I didn't see you either, so it's only fair that I help you."

"But sir, you don't-" the maid tried to say, but her words were interrupted by Joseph Curwen placing a hoof on her shoulder. At his touch, she stopped instantly. She then looked at Curwen, he smiled back at her. A genuine smile.

"Let me help you," Curwen said to her as he moved closer to her. "I insist." At that, the touch of his breath on her ear made the maid blush a little bit. She didn't know what it was, but she somehow felt better all of a sudden.

-Meanwhile, in a bunker, fifteen miles beneath the surface of the Earth, in another universe-

(Warning: The following scene may or may not actually be taking place. The words you are seeing on this page right now might actually just be the product of your imagination.)

Suddenly, somewhere in another universe not remotely connected in any way to the universe in which Jason Morgan, Risen Flagg, Twilight Sparkle, and every other character in this story reside, a red door frame suddenly appeared, as if by some kind of glitch in reality, and space, appeared in a vast, open, bunker, and Daedaltheus stepped out of it.

"Welcome back, Daedaltheus," an unknown voice that didn't sound that much different Pinkie Pie said to him.

"How was the party?" another unknown voice, this one a bit raspy, but definitely a male voice, said to him.

Daedaltheus didn't say anything to either of them. Instead, he just silently walked over to a table made from mahogany from the trees of Malchior 7 with several bottles of rather expensive liquor of varying types and brands sitting on it. Suddenly, Daedaltheus made this sound as he picked up the table with both hands and flipped it over, breaking not only all of the bottles of liquor on it, but the table as well in the process.

"Not well, I take it," the first voice said at that.

"WE ARE LOSING THE BATTLE!" Daedaltheus screamed at the top of his lungs as he, seemingly without moving, turned around to face them both.

"If you ask me, there is no battle?" the second voice said to him.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, SMITH!" Daedaltheus screamed at the owner of the second voice as he walked right past him.

"Meh, as long as we get paid in the end," the owner of the first voice said, seemingly without giving any f*ck's as he did.

"YOU TOO, HARUHARA!" Daedaltheus screamed at her as he turned to face her before continuing on past the two of them.

"What should we do?" the second voice asked.

"Computer!" Daedaltheus shouted as to a laptop on a nearby desk as he walked over to it. Several seconds passed with no response. "Computer, listen to me!" he shouted again, still no response. "COMPUTER!" Still no response. The large floating screen above the laptop that was suspended on the large back wall at the back of the bunker showed nothing but the usual blank screen with comments from Wake up. See this. What do? streaming in occasionally. Daedaltheus literally growled at that point. "CAROLINE!" He shouted with enough force to shake the whole bunker. At that point, a large sphere like thing with a yellow oculus appeared on the screen.

"Oh, it’s you," the computer said to him in a very monotone, robotic voice.

"Not now, I’m in a mood," Daedaltheus said to the image on the computer.

"Why?" the computer voice asked.

"WE ARE LOSING!" Daedaltheus shouted at it about as loudly as when he shouted to the first two voices. The computer voice seemed to let out a sigh at that.

"What do you want me to do now?" the computer asked in a very exasperated sounding voice.

"Activate the war protocol," Daedaltheus just said to her.

"Authorization Code," the computer said back.

"Gotterdammerung," was all Daedaltheus said to her.

"Activating war protocol," the computer replied in its same monotone voice as many different screens began to descend from the ceiling. Each one of them displaying the moments of every single character in Wake up. See this. What do?. Including the side story characters. "Shall I play the appropriate music?" the computer asked Daedaltheus once the screens had all dropped.

"Yes," Daedaltheus simply replied.

War Protocol: Gotterdammerung

Mars: Bringer of War by Gustav Holst

So I take it that they really pissed you off, eh? Especially Razor," the owner of the first voice said to Daedaltheus as she came over to watch the screens with him.

"Oh yes," Daedaltheus just replied back to her.

"You can always just, you know, hang him or something," the owner of the second voice said to Daedaltheus as he walked up next to him. At his words, Daedaltheus didn't say anything at first, but simply turned to look at him. The look on his face looked as if he was going to tear his larynx out.

"HANGIN’S TOO GOOD FOR HIM!" Daedaltheus finally screamed at him after a few moments of scary silence. "BURNIN’S TOO GOOD FOR HIM! HE SHOULD BE TORN INTO LITTLE ITSY BITSY PIECES AND BURIED ALIVE!!!"

"Daedaltheus...." the owner of the second voice said to him, a little worried.

"I'LL KILL HIM!!!!" Daedaltheus screamed at him as his eyes suddenly started to burn with what only be described as hellfire. The owner of the second voice didn't move, he didn't even shake. The owner of the first voice just looked over and laughed at him a bit, which he rolled his eyes at. After a few moments of looking at him angrily, Daedaltheus turned back to the screens. "Caroline! Activate the Emancipation Grid!"

"What?" the computer said, confused. Which was weird since it was a computer.

"Around the planet," Daedaltheus clarified. "Set up an AT Field Emancipation Grid around the entire universe such that if anyone, ANYONE, summons Old Man Henderson into the story, not only will he be destroyed but the who summoned him as well."

"Grid established, but why?" The computer asked.

"Ken keeps finding ways to resurrect that bastard, so I am putting a stop to this once and for F*CKING ALL!"

"I see," the computer said, with a few moments of silence afterwards. "Anything else?"

"Start a countdown," Daedaltheus ordered, at which point the computer sighed again.

"Again, may I ask what for?" it asked him.

"Until my retribution," Daedaltheus said. "These people and ponies will understand fear. They will know it as their world drowns in RED."

"All hail the Red!" the owners of both voices said aloud the moment those words left Daedaltheus's mouth.

"All hail the Red," Daedaltheus said to himself as a sort of gleeful smile spread across his face.

(End of any scenes that may or may not actually be taking place. Anything that happens from here on out, actually is taking place.)

-Meanwhile, in Risen Flagg's hotel room-

Risen Flagg and Trixie were well and fast asleep in the bed they shared. Trixie lay beside Risen Flagg with her hooves around him. Flagg just lay there for a few moments looking up at the ceiling, a smile adorned his face. After a few more moments, he closed his eyes.

When he opened them again, he was no longer in his bed. He was standing in what appeared to be a swirling black and grey abyss with storm clouds beneath, above, and all around him, and bright flashes of lightning illuminating the area all around him. Suddenly, feeling something else was amiss, Risen Flagg looked down at himself, and saw that in place of hooves, he had hands. Further inspection of himself showed that not only was he human again, but he was wearing the same suit he had wore while he was Risen Flagg, only more tailor fitted to fit him as a human. His hair was also shorter than it used to be, though still nicely combed. His tie was also blue as opposed to the red tie he wore while he was Risen Flagg. Despite his clothes, the rest of his appearance was that of someone who was undoubtedly Egyptian. He had taken this form before, before he came here... to Equestria.

"What is the meaning of this!?" Risen Flagg, or as he was more well known like this, Nyarlathotep, shouted to the abyss, demanding an answer.

"Do you really have to ask?" A seemingly bodiless voice responded from all around him.

"Yes," Nyarlathotep responded. "Have I been spirited away to the very howling abyss that the rest of my kind now dwells in?"

"No, this is but a dream one that you are having right now," the voice responded to him.

"Impossible, Nyarlathotep responded. "I am an Outer God, therefore I do not dream, physical impossibility and all that. That is why the foul night princess has been unable to discern the plans I have with her witchcraft of dream invasion."

"Yes, but in the here and now you are dreaming and she is listening, somewhere in the darkened walls of your dream," the voice responded to him.

"I’m more concerned with the fact that I am dreaming," Nyarlathotep said to the voice, with much ire in his own, his own patience wearing thin.

"That would be my doing," the voice suddenly said, as it suddenly came from behind him and not all around him. The instant it hit his human ears, Nyarlathotep turned around to see a tall human being wearing dress pants, a white dress shirt, a black dress vest, and crimson red tie.

"You were the pony from the party," Nyarlathotep said to him, for he knew who he was.

"That form is but a puppet, a husk that I occasionally use," Daedaltheus XIV replied to Risen Flagg as he slowly started walking to his right. Nyarlathotep in turn, started moving to his right as well.

"What is the meaning of this?" Nyarlathotep asked angrily at Daedaltheus.

"I am very disappointed in you, Risen Flag. Or, I'm sorry do you prefer your true name here, Nyarlathotep," Daedaltheus said to him.

"How so," Nyarlathotep responded, confused. "I am doing everything according to the plan, everything that I have planned to set out in order to accomplish."

"Oh really," Daedaltheus responded, not amused. "And what parts of the plan have you actually managed to follow?"

"I infiltrated the senate, have managed to convince 85 of the 100 members of the senate to follow my reconstruction plan, and have officially eradicated all but one of the Intelligence Agencies in Equestria," Nyarlathotep said to Daedaltheus.

"Good for you," was all Daedaltheus said back to him.

"Thank you, but not only that I have planted several agents inside of the last remaining Intelligence Agency and now I am but pen stroke away from eliminating the final threat to my plan," Nyarlathotep continued, to which, Daedaltheus stopped walking, and started clapping.

"I would be impressed if any of what you just stated was actually well impressive but here’s the problem, Nyarlathotep," Daedaltheus said to him.

"What would that be?" Nyarlathotep said to him, both angry and confused as he stopped walking as well.

"You have been Equestria for what two and half years at this point," Daedaltheus said to him. "And here we are, having this discussion about how they’re all alive and not god-chow."

"What!?" Nyarlathotep exclaimed.

"The plan, open the door, let it in, and then…BAM!" Daedaltheus exclaimed. "Every one of the ponies is deader than a tribble in a Klingon firing range."

"I am working towards that and I am succeeding!" Nyarlathotep shouted at Daedaltheus.

"YOU ARE FAILING!!!" Daedaltheus shouted back at him with enough force to shake the voice they stood in. "I HAVE GIVEN YOU EVERYTHING YOU NEEDED TO SUCCEED! WEAPONS, POWER, ASSISTANTS, F*CK-PUPPETS AND A GODDAMNED REASON TO ACTUALLY WANT TO INVADE THIS PUSH OVER OF A F*CKING PLANET AND YET HERE WE ARE, HAVING THIS F*CKING TALK ABOUT HOW MUCH OF AN ABJECT F*CKING-GODFORESAKEN MORON YOU ARE!" Nyarlathotep didn't say anything for a few moments, he only snickered to himself.

"You think that you can intimidate me," Nyarlathotep said to Daedaltheus while seemingly trying to hold back his own laughter. "I am Nyarlathotep, son of Azathoth, the creator of the universe, and I will-" Before he could even finish that sentence, he didn't even see him move, but Daedaltheus suddenly appeared directly in front of him, grabbed him by his neck with his left hand, lifted him off of the ground.... or what was the ground in this void, and was lifting him off of it.

"And I am Daedaltheus XIV," Daedaltheus said to him. "Son of Johannes Marquis, son of Arcady, descendant of the great Emperor of the Known Universe and Duke of the Noble House from Caladan." When he finished saying that, Daedaltheus dropped Nyarlathotep back to the ground. Nyarlathotep fell to his knees and started breathing heavily for a moment before he got back to his feet, unable to believe what he just heard.

"Impossible!" Nyarlathotep said. "He’s is dead, that foul master is dead."

"Dead but his blood follows in these veins," Daedaltheus continued. "The blood of the being that looks where others dare not."

"But the Red and all of that, what does that amount to?" Nyarlathotep asked, sounding more worried.

"The Red is not some grand philosophical idea dreamed that interweaves evil together in an elaborate fabric that connects the multiverse," Daedaltheus explained as he stepped closer to him. Nyarlathotep in turn, took a step back. "It is an acronym for Research Extract Destroy, an organization with the sole purpose of ensuring that good loses."

"So," Nyarlathotep said, still in confusion. "You are evil then, but the Tower and the symbol of the eye?"

"Adopted by our forefathers and the founders before them to strike fear into the hearts of heroism," Daedaltheus explained. "As far as evil, well only mutually so for you see when the logical end to a story is happy, then we make it so but when the logical end to a story is the fall of good, that’s where you come in. You are but a tool used by us in order to make the story achieve the logical conclusion and to spice up what might otherwise be a fairly one sided fight." Nyarlathotep just remained silent. "Tell me," Daedaltheus continued. "Would Bambi be as compelling without the Hunter killing his mother, or Cowboy Bebop without Julia’s death, or the Princess and the Frog without Doctor Facilier crushing the bug or the death of Freya in Thor-The Dark World."

"Red has done all of that?" Nyarlathotep asked.

"Well, we have been connected to it in some way," Daedaltheus said. "But we are getting off track here aren't we. You better get on the path to victory or the wrath of your father will be the least of you worries. Do you understand me, Nyarlathotep?" Nyarlathotep didn't say anything at first, but after a few moments of intimidating silence, he finally responded.

"Yes," he said.

"Yes, what, peon?" Daedaltheus said back to him.

"Yes, sir," Nyarlathotep begrudgingly said to Daedaltheus.

"Good," Daedaltheus said as a red doorframe suddenly appeared behind him. "We'll be keeping an eye on you." Then, suddenly, with that, with a white flash of lighting, the void disappeared and Nyarlathotep awoke in his bed in the hotel in Equestria. Quickly, he turned on the lamp next to his bed and looked down at him self to see that he was Risen Flagg again, the identity he took in this world to further his goals. After breathing heavily for a few moments as he calmed himself down as he saw that everything was okay, well, at least the way it was before all that happened.

However, when he looked up towards the wall directly in front of him, he saw a large, red, symbol, burned into it.

Beneath it were the words "I AM ALWAYS WATCHING YOU." in red letters. The symbol and the words were there for only a few moments before they faded away into nothingness, undoubtedly from whence they came.

Seeing this, Risen Flagg threw the covers off himself and got out of bed. Without waking Trixie, he then left his hotel room, walked downstairs to the second floor to Curwen's room, which he unlocked with his magic and opened the door.

"Curwen I need you to-" He stopped mid sentence as his eyes went so wide they threatened to burst even out of his own skull as the sight in front of him presented itself.

(Authors note: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!! NO! I absolutely refuse to write this scene in this story. Both Daedaltheus and I came up with it, and we both wrote it, but no, I am not going to include it here. If I do, this story is going to have to be moved up to MATURE in rating and I'm going to have to add several more tags to this story just for the inclusion of this one scene. So no. No I am not going to show it here.

You are just going to have to take my word for it when I tell you that Joseph Curwen is EATING the hotel maid that he bumped into earlier. Yes, he is eating her, like a cannibal, eating her, muscle, blood, bones and all, and she is, quite literally, all over the walls and all over him Not only that but.... you know what, I am going to stop right there. If you really want to know the full extent of what is happening in this scene, message Daedaltheus, he'll tell you.)

"Curwen, that's disgusting," Risen Flagg said to him as the sight in front of him burned itself into his vision.

"I'm sorry sir," Curwen responded to Risen Flagg as he stopped.

"I didn't say you had to stop," Risen Flagg just said to him.

"I know sir," Curwen said. "But you said you needed something from me."

"What, oh yes," Risen Flagg said as he remembered that he came here cause he actually did need Curwen's help.

-Meanwhile, in the side story-

Nothing that RazortheAwesome deems canon at this time. He would like to point out however, that he does in fact, own a desk made from mahogany from the trees of Malchior 7. It's where he does most of his writing. Anyway, moving on.

-Meanwhile, in MasterSmasher's mind-

For me and my llamas, it was an especially dark night on the night of the invasion.

All seemed to be going well- me and my team of specially trained ninja llamas had successfully infiltrated Zecorum's borders by boat, and we were moving toward one of their outer bases. The plan was simple- get in quick and unnoticed, then place the bomb near the center of the base, and blow those zebra bastards sky high. After that, all we'd have to do was get out and wait for extraction. If only it had gone so smoothly.

We crawled through the beach, toward the base. All was quiet. No signs of zebra activity anywhere. Nevertheless, everyone was tense. We'd all heard the stories of infiltrations going wrong. Teams getting wiped out before they even got close to their objectives. Jimmy, our demolitions expert, and the holder of the bomb, cracked a joke about how the enemy wouldn't see what was coming, to try and loosen the tension.

Then it all went to hell.

Bullets flying everywhere. Everyone around me screaming and taking cover. I didn't even have time to realize we were under attack before my body instinctively took cover behind some rocks.

An ambush. Somehow, they knew we were coming. We'd been set up.

I looked around, and was horrified by what I saw: my team had been all but wiped out. A dozen and a half llamas lay there in the sand, lifeless. Near the center of them lay Jimmy, just as lifeless as the rest. Shot through the head. Didn't even have a surprised look on him. Poor bastard probably didn't even knew what hit him before he died. There was some irony in that, but I was far too busy worrying about my own skin to think about stuff like that.

I looked to who was left. Sergeant Sully, my second in command. Glad to see he was still alive. We'd need his expert marksmanship if we were gonna get out of this. Three others, too. Privates Dawson and Hicks, and corporal Smithson. Five llamas, including myself, against a veritable zebra army. Not the best odds.

With all that'd happened, there was no way we were gonna be able to finish the mission. We didn't even know how we were gonna get outta here ourselves, let alone accomplish the mission. I decided to call in command. See if we could get some evac.
Finally, some good news.

Turned out, there was already a chopper nearby. It'd be able to get us outta there in one piece, but there was a problem: evac zone was too hot. We'd have to either find some way to get the enemy to stop firing, or find another evac zone to get to. While I was in the middle of forming a plan to get us out of here, and somewhere safer, my sergeant announced something.

"Let's use the bomb!" Sully yelled. Confused, I asked what he meant. Surely he didn't mean to say we should continue the mission?

Turns out, that wasn't his plan. He figured the large explosion from detonating the bomb Jimmy had would cause enough distraction to allow enough time for a chopper to come in and get us, if we were lucky. With the mindset that this was a better idea than my plan of, "run like hell, and hope they don't shoot us in the ass," I decided we'd go with his plan. Only one problem: Jimmy's corpse- along with the bomb- lay a few meters away from the relative safety of the rocks we were hiding behind. I informed Sergeant Sully about this fact, and he just scoffed, and told me not to worry about getting shot. They'd handle that, he said. Told me to just crawl to the bomb. Stay low, crawl slow-like. Don't get noticed. As if I didn't know that. I told command about our plan, and they put a chopper on standby near the coast.

So, with newfound vigor, I made my way to the edge of the rocks.

This was it. I'd either get the bomb, or I'd get a string of bullets blown into me. Carefully, slowly, quietly... I laid to the floor, and started crawling to the bomb... And I wasn't getting shot at! The relief I felt is impossible to replicate. After I'd heard an explosion, I looked toward the remainder of my team, and saw why I wasn't getting noticed.

There, my highly trained team of ninja llamas was... Firing wildly at the enemy, lobbing grenades all over the place- nowhere near any zebra, mind you-, and just overall painting a giant target onto themselves. I won't tell you the other things they did to provoke the enemy. It would tarnish their memory... I wish I could make what they did sound more more heroic, I really do, but I really, really can't.
So! After a while of crawling, I eventually made it to the bomb, and looked back to what was left of my team. Sully was the only one left standing that I could see. I didn't know at the time where they were, but I assumed the worst.

Sully, being the crackshot he was, fired round after round toward the enemy. By the smile he wore on his face, I could tell he'd already taken out a good number of zebras. I could almost hear their cries of pain after every shot he fired. I smirked at the thought, then looked down to Jimmy's body for the bomb. The smirk immediately left my face, and I quickly searched his body for the bomb. After finding it, I quickly grabbed it, and moved on. I wasn't too keen on spending too long around the bodies of my fallen comrades.
After getting a fair bit closer, I just stood up and charged it. They, of course, noticed me at this point, and some started firing my way. Regardless, I just hoped I wouldn't get hit, and charged forward. I got as close as I felt comfortable, and just chucked the bomb as hard as I could.

After priming it, of course.

Ten seconds. I had ten seconds to get out of the blast range before the bomb went off. Looking back, I musta been insane to think I coulda just ran out of the blast range of that thing. The thing was meant to blow a whole friggin' base. No way I'd just run out of a blast range like that. Lucky for me, there was a pretty big hole in the ground not too far from where I chucked the thing from. Looked about llama sized, so I ran into it, waited for the explosion, and BOOM! The thing exploded, sending rubble into the air, and fire over my little ditch. When the fire died out, I stuck my head out. Turned out, I threw it closer than I thought, and I'd actually managed to get it pretty close to the wall! Ended up blowing a huge chunk of that wall apart, apparently. Lucky me, because that meant there was a bunch more dust floating about.

I wasted no time calling in the chopper. They said they'd be there in just a few seconds. Guys were closer than I'd expected, thank god. It apparently took them just over ten seconds to get there, apparently. Ten friggin' seconds. Felt like minutes, I swear it did. But once that thing was there, man oh man, I ran. Ran faster than I thought I could to that chopper. Made it there faster than an olympic sprinter coulda, I tell ya. Jumped in that chopper like my tail was on fire. And once I did, I waited for Sully to hop on.

Only, he didn't.

Looked around, but I couldn't see him anywhere. The pilot of the chopper told us we had to leave ASAP. I tried to get him to wait for just a few more seconds, but he was a stubborn as a mule- not that there's anything wrong with mules, of course. He took off. Can't blame him. It was a miracle I managed to get on myself. No need to push our luck, ay?

Anyway, turned out he was right to take off. When we were in the air, I saw the bodies of Sully and the others laid out on the ground. Guess they got shot. Or maybe the explosion got them. Didn't matter. My team was gone, leaving me the lone survivor. The military sure would be lonely without those guys. 'Least, it would have been. Apparently, my luck had run out, and some f*cker left standing at the base taking potshots at the chopper managed to hit me in the side, leaving me pretty banged up. I recovered mostly, but I won't be sent to combat any time soon, that's for sure. Now, I work behind a desk all day, working on paperwork and the like.

... God, I miss combat.

... Wow. :ajbemused: I really just made a friggin' short story in the comments. Sorry. I just... I dunno. Felt like writing, I guess.

(This bonus short story written by MasterSmasher)

-Meanwhile, at the Hall of Justice-

-Meanwhile, at Lyra and Bon Bon's house-

The rest of the parry went rather smoothly after that whole "turning off the dinosaur," thing that Risen Flagg did passed. Yes, he was still going to die later, or at the very least pay for that, if you had anything to say about it, but still, it was an enjoyable party. You still had fun, and everypony that was there was happy to meet with you again.

After that song that Risen Flagg put on ended, the DJ put on a few other songs, and you danced to them too, so it was just as fun as last time, but still.... no dinosaur..... DAMN THAT RISEN FLAGG!!!!

Also attempts to talk to that blue mare that was with him, Trixie, were largely unsuccessful, as she never left Risen Flagg's side for the rest of the night. You were really hoping that she would have one more thing to tell you, but you would have had to get it from her while she was away from him, and she wasn't. It was almost as if she was afraid of everypony. Then again, if your inner Batman and Doctor were telling you anything about her, based on what happened with her the last time she was in this town, she had every right to be, but still.... you are kind of disappointed at that.

For now though, you're not going to think about that. The party was over, so you, being tired, threw yourself back onto Lyra and Bon Bon's couch to get some sleep. You were going to be heading back to Canterlot tomorrow, so it was going to be a big day. You needed your sleep.

Nothing could go wrong tomorrow.

No "What do you do?" section for this chapter either. That comes later. *insert suspiciously evil grin here*

Author's Note

status: edited

The Sequel You've All Been Waiting For

-The house Roseluck shared with Lily and Daisy-

Slowly, Roseluck opened her eyes to see the clear blue sky and Celestia's sun shining right on her through her open window. She blinked a few more times to clear her vision before the sight in front of her really sank in. It was an absolutely beautiful day out. Or at least it was from what she could see in her window.

After admiring the sky and the rays of sunshine for a moment, Roseluck held up a hoof to her mouth and let out a rather adorable yawn. She shifted around in her bed for a moment, but when she tried to move, she found herself unable too, as somepony's hoof was wrapped around her mid section and holding her tightly. Startled, Roseluck instinctively reached for the hoof that was holding her, and then followed it back up the pony it belonged. The pony that the hoof belong to of course, was none other than Line Draft, who was still sleeping soundly behind her.

It was then that memories of last night came flooding back to her, and as they played out in her head again, Roseluck couldn't help but smile. It was funny, she really thought last night was going to suck, but as it turned out, even she could be COMPLETELY wrong. As she replayed the events of last night in her head all over again, she reached down with a hoof and put her hoof on top of Line Draft's. She lay there in her bed for a few more minutes just looking out at the sky through her window with his hoof around her.

After about ten minutes though, she decided that she did have to get up. Without waking Line Draft, she wiggled her way out of his grasp and out of her bed. As she stood up on her hooves, she turned around and looked back at the still sleeping Line Draft. Something was off. He seemed so.... so.... lonely. It didn't take Roseluck longer than a second to figure out why as the imaginary lightbulb in her head went off. Carefully, so as still not to wake him, she lifted up the hoof that was holding her, and with her mouth and other hoof, she moved her pillow into his hooves so that he was holding it. When she let go, Line Draft hugged the pillow tight and pulled it closer to him. A smile formed on his own face as he did.

Internally, Roseluck couldn't help but squee at that.

Still slowly and carefully, she leaned back in and kissed Line Draft on his muzzle before quietly walking out of her room, leaving Line Draft there to sleep. He had earned it after all.

After leaving her bedroom, Roseluck then walked over to the house's shared bathroom and got in the shower. She was in and out of it in about fifteen minutes, maybe a little more. When she left her bathroom and walked past her bedroom again to head downstairs, she peeked inside her room to see that Line Draft was still sleeping. She couldn't help but let out a little fangirl sigh as she saw it. He just looked so adorable while he slept. She only stopped to look for a moment though before she continued downstairs and made her way into her kitchen.

As she approached the kitchen however, she could already hear the telltale sounds of somepony making breakfast.

'Somepony's already awake?' Roseluck thought to herself as she walked in. Between her, Lily, and Daisy, she was usually the first one awake because of her.... rather strange... schedule. When she walked into the kitchen, she found none other than Daisy in the process of making some breakfast, though exactly what she was making Roseluck couldn't quite tell yet.

"Ah, good morning, Roseluck," Daisy said to Roseluck as she turned around to meet her.

"Morning, Daisy," Roseluck replied to her. As she stared at Daisy, she noticed something a little... off... about her. Her mane was a little bit messed up and there were some not very noticeable bags under her eyes. These things probably wouldn't have been noticed by the laypony, but Roseluck, she could see them. "Sleep well?"

Daisy didn't say anything in response at first. She just kept staring at her in her usual, chipper way.

-Sometime last night-

Daisy unceremoniously stepped through her front door and locked it behind her, having left the party shortly after everypony else had. She let out a rather loud, exasperated sight as she dragged herself up the stairs towards her room. As she started climbing the stairs however, she began hearing some rather odd noises, they were a bit faint from the bottom of the steps, but she could hear them. It sounded like somepony was moving around a lot up there.

Upon hearing this, Daisy stopped for a moment in confusion before continuing up, albeit slowly, and somewhat cautiously. As she climbed the steps however, the noises began to get louder, and she could hear the rather distinct sounds of somepony moaning.

"Ah! Yes! Like that!" she heard a rather familiar voice scream as she just about reached the top. A voice that she knew would never be making noises that even remotely resembled those unless Tartarus had frozen over, and yet.... "Ah! Harder! Harder! AH! AH! AH! HARDER! FASTER!" The noise continued. They seemed to be coming from Roseluck's room.

Slowly, very slowly.... very, very, VERY slowly, Daisy practically crawled towards Roseluck's door. "Ah! YES! YES! YEEEESSSSS!!!" Slowly, and by slowly, slower than a clock's minute hand, Daisy opened the door to Roseluck's room and...

"OH YEAH! OH YEAH! OH YEAH! OOOOOHHHHHH YEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!! WHOSE YOUR MARE! WHOSE YOUR MARE!!!!!" At that point Daisy's face lit up like a Celestia damned Hearth's Warming tree.

-Back to the present-

"Yes," Daisy said to Roseluck with a smile. "I slept just fine."

"Oooookay....." Roseluck said... not exactly buying it. After a moment of thinking about it though, she figured it best to drop it. "So, what are you mak-"

"Hello there, Roseluck," a very familiar voice suddenly said from behind her.

"GGGGGGGGYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Roseluck immediately belted out the moment those words hit her ears.

"Well this is a fine how do you do," the voice said again. Instinctively, Roseluck turned around faster than lightning to see.... none other than DaedaltheusXIV himself leaning against the wall right at the entrance to the kitchen.

"Ah, nice to see you Daedaltheus," Daisy just said to him politely.

"Daisy," Daedaltheus politely replied to her with a nod. At that, Daisy returned to her work.

"Wha-wah wha.... When did you get here?" Roseluck asked him.

"Just now," Daedaltheus responded. "Like, literally, just now. As in, less than a second before you turned around."

"Oh," Roseluck said in understanding. He had been known to do that on occasion. "Okay......" After a moment of semi-awkward silence between them, Roseluck cleared her throat and regained her usual composure. She wasn't nervous by any means, she had no reason to be around him, but he had just showed up at a rather awkward time. "Um.... what are you doing here?"

"I was in the area," Daedaltheus explained. "And I thought I would stop by and take you out to lunch."

"Lunch?" Roseluck said, confused as all hell.

"Yes," Daedaltheus replied, the look on his face unchanged. "Is that a problem?" Roseluck wasn't sure if he was messing with her or not, but either way, she couldn't help but stare at him with her mouth open.

"It's 8:30 in the morning," Roseluck said after a few minutes.

"What?" Daedaltheus said, now it was his turn to be confused, as was Daisy, as she had a look that pretty much matched Roseluck's on her face when she turned to look back at him.

"Yeah," Roseluck said to him. "How could you not know that?"

"This can't be right," Daedaltheus said as he took out his pocket-watch and opened it up. Both Roseluck and Daisy just stared at him for a moment as he kept his eyes glued to it. "I said Equestria time you f*cking parasite." Daedaltheus said to his pocket watch, as if he were somehow angry at it. "Oh...." Daedaltheus said as he raised both his eyebrows in sudden realization. Both Roseluck and Daisy exchanged a quick glance at each other before looking back to Daedaltheus. Much quicker than he took it out, Daedaltheus quickly closed the pocket-watch and turned his attention back at Roseluck. "And I thought I would stop by to take you out to breakfast."

Roseluck just stared at Daedaltheus for several seconds, confused as all hell. He just looked at her the same way he always did, the same, solemn look on his face. After a moment, she turned to look at Daisy, who just shrugged before turning back to her work. At that, Roseluck just let out an exasperated sigh.

"Fine," she practically groaned.

"Excellent," Daedaltheus said in a rather chipper manner as he got up off the wall.

"Ah, there you are, Roseluck," the two of them suddenly heard Line Draft say as they both looked back towards the entrance of the kitchen to see that he had just come down the stairs. None of them could see it, but the moment his voice hit her ears, Daisy's face lit up like a Hearth's Warming tree.

While Line Draft was rather jubilant to see Roseluck, he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Daedaltheus standing there.

"D.... D-d- Daedaltheus," he barely said.

"Ah, good morning, Line Draft," Daedaltheus said as he walked out from behind the kitchen wall and out to greet him. "How was your evening?"

"Oh... um.... it was...." Line Draft responded rather nervously before looking past him at Roseluck, who just smiled back at him. At that, he couldn't help but smile himself. "Spectacular...."

"Good. I'm glad you enjoyed yourself." Daedaltheus said to him, seeming happy to hear that. "Roseluck and I were just about to go out for breakfast. I'd invite you to come along but..." He paused for a moment as he looked back at Roseluck, who in turn, looked back up at him, the look on her face was kind of unreadable. "This is something of a private matter."

"I understand," Line Draft responded, his eyes looking more towards the floor than at Daedaltheus. "I'm busy anyway."

"Good," Daedaltheus said to him, seeming satisfied before he turned back to Roseluck. "Shall we go?"

"What? Oh, um yes," Roseluck replied back to him as the two of them headed off in the direction of the front door. As Roseluck passed Line Draft however, she stopped for a moment and gave him a quick kiss on his cheek. "Thank you," she whispered to him before she continued along behind Daedaltheus as they reached the front door to the house, which had turned crimson red as they approached it. Like the gentleman that he was, Daedaltheus politely opened the door for Roseluck first and she stepped through the door. Afterwards, he stepped through himself and closed the door behind him. The front door to Roseluck's house quickly faded back to normalcy with them gone.

Line Draft, for all intents and purposes, couldn't help but light up like a Hearth Warming's tree himself as he touched the cheek that Roseluck kissed him on. After a moment, he let out a sigh as a smile crept across his face.

"So um...... Line Draft was it...?" Daisy suddenly said from the kitchen after Roseluck and Daedaltheus had gone.

"Yes," Line Draft politely responded to her.

-Lyra and Bon Bon's House-

You wake up just a bit before 8:00 am. You're not sure at all why you're waking up this early, you didn't get home until much later than usual after all, and while you will admit that you did sleep like a rock.....

You know what? It's not worth contemplating. You're awake, that's all that matters. After all, you did have somewhere important to be today.

Since you are awake, whether you wanted to be or not, you throw the makeshift covers off yourself, stretch out your arms and yawn before you notice that the house is strangely quiet. Lyra and Bon Bon don't seem to be up yet, which meant that you were alone.

After rubbing a bit more of the sleep from your eyes, you get up and walk on into the kitchen, which is straight ahead of you since you sleep on their couch after all, and try to get yourself some breakfast. You open the panty to grab some cereal, but then you stop. Something's been on your mind for a while. In fact, it was on your mind all last night, but you didn't really want to talk about it because of the party.

Lyra and Bon Bon were leaving.

They were leaving because you told them too. You told them that you, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and Spike were all going to Canterlot today, and that they had to leave town. They had to leave because you had a bad feeling that something was going to happen. It was kind of sudden, and you brought it up without giving them any warning, and while they did agree to it, you still kind of felt uneasy. After all, if someone you knew told you that you had to leave because something bad was going to happen, you'd be second-guessing, too.

So, with that in mind, you ignore the cereal and instead open up one of the other pantry doors and pull out some flour. You also search around from some milk and other ingredients, and start making some delicious waffles for them. It just seemed like the right thing to do.

-15 Minutes Later-

Just as you finished up the last waffle, you start hearing hoofsteps coming from the stairs, and within moments, you see Lyra walk into the room. Her mane was a mess and her eyes looked like they might as well have been shut. Typical morning Lyra.

"Hey," she says to you as she slowly walks to the table and takes a seat.

"Morning," you say to her as you put some waffles and a plate and set it in front of her before walking over and grabbing her a mug of coffee, which you were also working on.

"Thanks," she says before she picks up a knife and fork with her magic and starts eating her waffles. She doesn't say anything, but she does nod a little bit once she takes a bite. You can tell she likes them.

While she's eating, you quickly make yourself your own plate and your own coffee and sit down across from her before you start eating yourself. For a while, neither of you say anything. It's kind of awkward. Usually once Lyra has her coffee she likes to talk in the mornings.

"So, Lyra," you say, you being you. "Did you-"

"Yeah," she says before you can even say anything else. "We talked about it yesterday while you were getting ready for the party. We're going to go stay at Bonnie's cousin's place in Trottingham. She sent her a note through the post office, so it should all be good."

"Oh..." you reply to her. You suppose it's a good thing that she actually did send a message through regular mail as opposed to any kind of magical messages, since those still appear to be blocked, but still, that's not really the issue here. "Look, Lyra, I'm sorry if-"

"Stop," Lyra says as she holds up her hoof. "I know what you're going to say, and it's fine." She stops for a moment and looks down at her nearly finished plate of waffles before looking back up at you. "With all of the things that have been going on with you since you got here, we understand where you're coming from, and to tell you the truth..." she started fidgeting in her seat a little bit before resuming. "I.... I haven't exactly told Bonnie this yet, but I'm starting to get worried myself. I mean, first you went through that whole thing with Twilight, and then you get attacked, it's just...." she stopped right there and looked down at her plate again. "I can't explain it, but I believe you. I think you're right. Something bad is going to happen." Then at that, she looked back up at you. "So you don't have to apologize for asking us to do this, we know, we understand why. So don't go thinking that you're making us go or anything like that." At that, she took another bite of her waffles before continuing with her mouth full. "All right?" At that, you can't help but crack a smile.

"Yeah," you respond. "Thanks Lyra." At that, she gives you a quick salute before finishing her mouthful of waffles and swallowing them.

"I just wish we could've, you know..." Lyra continued, though with another awkward pause. "Gotten high one last time." At that, you can't help but laugh.

"We're just going up to talk with Princess Celestia," you say to her. "So, when we get back, definitely." You and Lyra both nod at that. You believe it too, in fact, you're gonna hold yourself to it.

The sound of another sudden yawn from the entrance of the kitchen however, keeps you from thinking about it any longer.

"Morning," Bon Bon says as she walks into the room, looking no worse than Lyra. Seeing her, you quickly get up and serve her some nice hot waffles.

-Later-

After breakfast, you, Lyra, and Bon Bon all do what you have to do to get ready. You take a shower, throw on your work clothes (the only other clothes you have that aren't your suit), put on your shoes, and grab a few things. You also make sure to grab your knife. The knife that Lyra gave you back in the cave so long ago. It wasn't that long, but it seems like it was forever ago. You just look at it for a second before spinning it like a boss in your hand and sheathing it.

Honestly, you have no idea why you are bringing it, you are only going to talk to Princess Celestia after all, but something is telling you that you are going to need it, and hey, given recent events, it's better to have it and not need it at this point.

After a couple hours, you watch Lyra and Bon Bon come down the stairs after you. Both are adorned with larger than usual saddlebags. Not having much, you don't really have a bag, but that doesn't matter.

"So..." Bon Bon asks after a few moments of silence. "You ready to go?" You just look back at her. It takes you a few moments, but eventually you respond.

"Yeah," you say to her. "Yeah, I'm ready to go."

"Well," Lyra says after taking in a deep breath and putting on a smile. "I guess theres no use staying here now is there." You honestly love that about Lyra, how even in completely serious situations she can seem all chipper. Sure, Pinkie Pie could do that, but Lyra, she could actually make you believe she was happy. It wasn't like she had a permanent smile on her face.

So with that, the three of you head out. You had out, and Bon Bon locks the door behind you all. The three of you then start making your way through town. As you walk, you notice how everypony seems to be strangely absent. It's like the three of you are the only ones there. Where did they go?

This was odd, it wasn't noon yet, but it was getting close, and knowing this town, it should have been up and about with you by now, but there wasn't a single pony to be seen. You couldn't help but get an odd feeling about this. It was the middle of the day, where did they all disappear to?

The moment the three of you pass by the town square though, you get your answer.

"What in Equestria?" Bon Bon suddenly said as she noticed it first. You and Lyra stop in your tracks at that, and you can't help but feel your eyes widen a bit at what you saw.

Since you had the advantage of being taller than most ponies (there were a few like Big Macintosh who were as tall as you), you could very well see what was going on.

It seemed like every pony in Ponyville was packed into town square. From where you were, you could see town hall, but that wasn't the only thing you could see. Not to far from it, it looked like some kind of wooden stage was set up, and every pony was staring towards it, as if expecting somepony. Oddly enough though, the Mayor wasn't anywhere to be seen. Not only that, but at both sides of the stage, you could see two identical flags. Both were dark red in color and had this weird, diamond like symbol on them. That wasn't the disturbing part though. On the stage, standing at the back, you could see six members of the royal guard, as well as several, and by several you mean you could not count how many there were, more guards between the ponies and the stage, like they were security at some big event. That would have been all well and good, but these were members of the royal guard, ponies that as far as you knew, only guarded Princess Celestia. Then, you saw them, at the corner of the stage, to the right where you could see them, Trixie and Joseph Curwen were standing.

Out in the crowd of ponies however, you could also see a familiar Stetson hat and not to far away, you could see the familiar rainbow colored mane of another pony.

"Jason..." You quickly look down to notice that Bon Bon had been tugging at your shirt, the look in her eyes seemed to suggest that she had been trying it for a while and was starting to worry. The look in Lyra's eyes was pretty much the same.

"Go on ahead," you quickly tell them. "Just get to the train station and get on the next train to Trottingham. I'll see you when you get back." Neither Lyra nor Bon Bon say anything at first, they just keep looking at you with that same worried look. After a moment though, they both force themselves to relax a little bit before turning and continuing on in the direction of the train station.

You however, start walking towards the crowd of ponies.

-At one of the other entrances to town-

"So you all understand the plan then?" James Tiberius Kirk said to his squad and Zecora as they all made their way back into Ponyville.

"Well I can't speak for anyone else," Gordon Freebrony said without taking his eyes off the road in front of him. "But I understand it just fine."

"Captain," Spock chimed in. "If we are to approach this human, I must remind you that-"

"Yes, Spock," Kirk said before Spock could say anything else. "You-" Before he could even say another word however, the five of them all looked forward into town square and saw the crowd of ponies. "What in the world?" Kirk said as the five of them made their way towards it.

-Sweet Apple Acre's, a few hours earlier-

"You're leaving!?" Braeburn exclaimed as he saw Applejack adjusting her saddlebag a bit more.

"Eeyup," Applejack replied to him. "Something's goin' on an' we have ta go see Princess Celestia ASAP. Not sure what it is yet, but that's probably why we're goin'." The moment she finished that sentence, she looked back at Braeburn. His eyes were to the floor. At that sight, Applejack let out a sigh of guilt. "Ah'm sorry Braeburn."

"It's all right," Braeburn said as he looked back at her and did his best to put a smile on. "It just seems like Strongheart and Ah just got here yah know, and now you have tah go off savin the world again." He sighed for a moment at that. "But that must be how it is, you bein' on of tha elements of harmony and all." At that, Applejack walked over to him and put a hoof on his shoulder before throwing on a reassuring smile.

"If it makes yah feel any better," Applejack said to him. "Ah'm not gonna be gone that long. We're just going tah talk to her so probably no more than a day. Ah'll probably be back before ya'll leave." Braeburn didn't say anything. It did make him feel better, if only a little bit. If Applejack had to talk to Princess Celestia, then that did raise many concerns.

"Can we at least..." Braeburn began before pausing for another moment. "Can we at least walk yah to tha train station?" At that, Applejack couldn't help but smile.

"Sure," she said. "Ah'd like that."

-Town square, the present-

"Applejack," Braeburn said to his cousin, who stood right next to him in the crowd of ponies. Little Strongheart stood on the opposite side of him. "What's goin on?"

"Ah don't know," was all she could respond. The worried look on her face though probably said more than what she wanted.

-Back to Jason's perspective-

Without losing step or focus on what you should be doing you step into the crowd of ponies. As politely as you can, you try to make your way through them while keeping an eye out for Applejack or Rainbow Dash. Thankfully, the ponies were polite and let you pass when you needed to, and they weren't all crowded in too close so that was good. Unfortunately, after a little while, you lose sight of both what you undoubtedly knew was Applejack's Stetson hat and Rainbow Dash's mane.

You're not gonna lie right now, this whole scenario is kind of frightening you. You frantically look around for any recognizable signs of Applejack, Rainbow Dash, hell, even a sign of Rarity or Fluttershy would be a godsend at this point, or even Pinkie Pie, but no, you don't see any of them. Even despite the fact that you were taller than most ponies, you lost sight of them in this immense crowd of ponies you now found yourself in the middle of.

"NOOOO!!!!!" You suddenly hear somepony scream from the front of the crowd. You look towards the stage, and while it's a little bit difficult to see through the immense crowd of ponies, thank to your slight height advantage, you do manage to see what's going on. Somepony is actively, and frantically fighting his way through the crowd in an effort to get to the front, or more accurately, to the stage. While most ponies were being polite as they were with you and letting him past, you saw that he wasn't at all hesitant to push several ponies out of the way in an effort to reach the stage. He was running as if his life depended on it.

It took you a moment to recognize him, probably because you hardly ever talked to him. Sure, you knew who he was, but you only talked to him like once or twice.

It was Time Turner, that clock maker stallion that was married to Derpy.

The moment Time Turner reached the front of the crowd however, several guard ponies stepped up and crossed their spears in front of him.

"What are you doing!?" He yelled at them.

"Sir!" You could hear one of them say. It was kind of hard to hear from where you were with all of the chatter going on, apparently all of the other ponies there were just as curious as to what was going on as you were, but you could hear them. "Please step away from the stage." Time Turner however, ignored what the guard was saying and tried to fight his way through, only for both guards to grab him and throw him back to the ground. "Sir, if you do not wish to be cited I suggest that you either keep away from the stage and watch like all the other ponies or leave and go about your business."

"You don't understand!" Time Turner shouted at them as he frantically got back onto his hooves. "She didn't do anything! She-" As he screamed that he tried to make another dash for the stage. However, right as he ran up to the guards again, you could see one of them step out in front of him and punch him hard in the gut with his hoof. You watch as practically all of the ponies around him collectively gasp as Time Turner doubled over in pain and fell back towards the ground. That guard must have hit hard.

Time Turner tried to get back up onto his hooves again, but when he did, you watch the guard who hit him step out into the ground and point his spear at his throat.

"If you even think of trying anything else it won't be my hoof that goes through you," you hear the guard say to him. At that, though it's difficult for you to see, you don't watch Time Turner get back up. All of the ponies who saw this looked just as confused as you were. It's only then that you look back up at the stage, and notice something else. The guards in front of the stage, they aren't the only guards here. On both sides of the stage, as well as behind it, you could see several more guards, all of whom are armed. It was like there was a small army here.

"What the f*ck is going on here?" You ask aloud, though nopony answers.

Then, suddenly, from the stage, you hear the unmistakable sound of hooves on wood. The moment that sound hit everypony's, as well as your ears, everyone went silent as you all look towards the stage. On it, stepped none other than Risen Flagg.

While you weren't really surprised at all to see him there, after all, Trixie and Joseph Curwen are on the stage, so you knew for damn near certain that he would show up, but you didn't expect all of this.

Everything was quiet as he walked across the stage towards the center and surveyed the crowd of ponies in front of him. No joke, you could hear a pin drop, it was that silent. You watch as Risen Flagg looks out into the crowd for a little bit before looking back at Trixie and Curwen. After a moment, he then looks back out towards the crowd, and clears his throat.

"Fillies and gentlecolts," he speaks to the crowd in front of him, as well as you. "For those of you who do not know who I am, I am Risen Flag, a senator from Canterlot and a concerned citizen of this beautiful nation of Equestria." He didn't even need to yell. There wasn't even a microphone in front of him. All he had to do was raise his voice a little so that everyone there could hear him and he just talked normally. You could tell he had done this sort of thing before. Which, given that he was a senator, was also not any kind of a surprise to you at all. "I, much like yourselves, enjoy the carefree privileges and freedoms that we are afforded by our law-giving goddesses, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, but there are those not content with this. In the past few months, we have seen an advancement in our lifestyles thanks to the newfound technologies that are being mass-produced, giving jobs to the jobless, and most importantly, bringing about an age of enlightenment to this nation. However, again, there are those filled with such malcontent and ill willed thoughts to this idea, to this notion that they have decided to take up arms against us, but then again, you have not heard of this, correct." He paused again for a brief moment, then began pacing back and forth across the stage as he started speaking again. Even though you couldn't see him using any magic, you couldn't help but wonder if he was somehow using magic to amplify or project his voice out to the crowd.

"For some time now, there has been an insurgency brewing within the borders of our fair nation, an insurgency led by a group of ponies that wish to destroy our way of life. The disappearance of ponies around Canterlot and Ponyville, the sabotage of several installations developing new technology and the bombing of advanced hospitals and town centers across this nation. This group, up until now has been led by a mysterious figure lurking behind a vast and almost unending cascade of ponies willing to die for this cause. However, as of this morning, I have been made aware of the identity of these insurgents, of these pseudo-revolutionaries that wish to bring about our destruction." That.... what he was saying.... was honestly a surprise to you.... You really were starting to believe that everything was perfect in this world.

"The leader of these traitors to goddess and country is none other than Grey Rebl, the director of the Appaloosa Intelligence Agency, who even as we speak, plots against us." Somewhere, in the crowd, you could almost feel somepony's jaws drop. "Moreover, I believe that even the Canterlot Intelligence Agency is being converted but these are but rumors, those involving my beloved CIA. During the past few months, he has converted the peaceful town and its intelligence officers into an army and headquarters with the sole purpose of beginning a revolution to bring myself and other likeminded individuals down. Ordinarily, I would say ‘bring it on’ or perhaps even ‘whenever you are game’, but I must be honest with you my ponies. I cannot do this because I am afraid." He paused for another moment at that as he made his way back to the center of the stage. "I am afraid that he will not just stop with me. I am afraid that he and his rebel rousers will kill innocent fillies and colts in their crusade, and I am afraid that eventually he will go after the princesses themselves. You have heard them talk in favor and support of my programs, of my factories and of the overall upgrade of beautiful Equestria, so why would he not go on to kill them, I ask you." He paused for another moment and looked down towards the floor beneath him. After that moment was over however, he looked back up at the crowd with a certain change in expression. An expression that lacked any kind of fear.

"However, not all hope is lost, my ponies, not all hope is lost because we have captured one of the insurgents, one that you may find familiar." At that, you watch as four more guards walk up onto the stage. In between all of them is another pony with chains around her hooves, and wings, a black bag over their head. A pony with a grey coat.... and while you couldn't see her mane, her tail was blonde, and her cutie mark, was of several bubbles. The guards escort her to the center of the stage where she stops, and two of the guards stand towards the back, while the other two take a few steps back, yet still remain on both sides of her, as if to present her to the crowd.

"No...." you for whatever reason quietly say to yourself.

"Miss Derpy Hooves!" Risen Flagg said as he walked over and tore the bag off the pony's head, revealing none other than the wall-eyed face of Derpy Hooves herself. You hear literally every pony in the crowd collectively gasp at this before talking amongst themselves again. Towards the front, you see Time Turner try to do something again, but the guard that hit him before kept his spear at his throat. After a few moments of letting the crowd talk, Risen Flagg continued. "We have evidence to prove that she not only led a team of insurgents to a factory developing experimental weapons, but also killed several engineers, scientists, and workers before stealing a new, experimental device and sending it to Appaloosa by train to Grey Rebl himself. She has also attended chapter meetings of the Canterlot Intelligence Agency, which rumor has it has strong ties to Appaloosa lest we forget, and has visited Appaloosa with increasing frequency ever since the hints of the uprising. She stands here before you today on trial for the crimes that she has committed in the name of Grey Rebl and the AIA. How do you plead, Miss Hooves?"

"I did nothing wrong," Derpy frantically spoke as Risen Flagg confronted her "And... and I've never been involved with the AIA. I only attend the meetings because my friend does."

"Is this not a picture of you in Appaloosa, after the train carrying the device arrived in the town?" Risen Flagg asked her as he held up some kind of picture. You were too far away from them to tell what was on it.

"That...." Derpy tried to utter out, but found herself seemingly unable. It was like she knew what she was looking at was impossible, but it was there anyway. "That can't be me! I wasn't in Appaloosa when that train arrived, I couldn't have been."

"Do you have any collaborators to suggest that my story is false and that yours is the truth, Miss Hooves?" Risen Flagg asked her.

"Ye...Yes," Derpy said, the fear in her voice seeming to have grown tremendously. "But....but I mean, I can't talk about it...."

"Then you have no alibi and the evidence is stacking up against you, because you were the mare that destroyed the facility and stole the weapon!" Risen Flagg exclaimed, pointing at her.

"I am innocent!" Derpy screamed as loud as she could as the crowd began to speak once more.

"You are not, Miss Hooves," Risen Flagg said to her again, this time, sounding much angrier than he had been previously. "Because I have documents right here showing you having signed the Loyalty Oath to the CIA and the AIA, signed by you with a photograph taken of you at the meeting, taken by my inside informants."

"I never did such a thing!" Derpy screamed.

"DERPY!" You watch as Time Turner tried to get back up, but the other guard in front of him walked out and kicked him in the head back to the ground again.

"Time Turner!" Derpy shouted at him from the stage.

"The evidence is here," Risen Flagg continued, seemingly paying no attention to what just happened. "Printed in plain black and white, cross examined several dozen times and laid out here, but perhaps there is a more convincing piece of evidence, and my last one at that. A voice recording of you at the factory before its destruction."

"What!?" Derpy screamed as Risen Flagg took out something that to you, was undoubtedly some kind of tape recorder, and pressed play.

"The day may come when the government turns its eyes on us and decides with a single stroke of buttons and keys to end our lives in a flash of yellow fire and alight the sky with a second sun. The time of the common pony’s revolution is upon us and we will start it with a bang." A voice that sounded so much like Derpy's that it would have been impossible to prove otherwise said in the recording, yet, to you... something was still wrong. Both your inner Batman and Doctor were screaming it.

"There you have it citizens," Risen Flagg said as he put the tape recorder away. "Miss Hooves is guilty as charged, but there remains a single question as to her punishment. Certainly, there are a myriad of options available to us, such as imprisonment, spending the remaining years of her life surrounded on all sides by grey walls and black bars, but that punishment is not good enough for her. Internment at a labor would suffice, but again too soft, and does not send a message across to the AIA, so that leaves a single option to uptake in this situation, my ponies, and my beloved citizens of Equestria." Then, at that... something impossible happened. Something that you, you of all people here, knew was impossible.... but it happened anyway.

Risen Flagg, with his magic, drew from his coat a 9mm pistol and shot Derpy in the head.

Time froze for you as the sound from the gun echoed through the crowd and through all of Ponyville. The looks on everypony's face was certainly no different than yours right now. Not a pony uttered a single word as Derpy Hooves' body fell from where she stood to the floor of the stage. Even though it only took a moment for her to fall, it felt like eons. You.... you didn't even want to imagine what Time Turner must have been feeling right now.

"Death is the only punishment suitable for traitors, and is the fate that will befall all of these revolutionists that desire to end our way of life," Risen Flagg continued as he put the pistol back in his coat. "Thus, I am declaring a state of martial law in all cities known to house the traitors flying the banner of the AIA so that we can expedite the search for this mad pony." He paused for another moment at that and took a step towards the center of the stage, completely ignoring the bleeding body of Derpy Hooves, which currently occupied it. "Let it be known, Grey Rebl, director of the Appaloosa Intelligence Agency, that her death is only the beginning of your end. The beginning of the end of all of your friends and insurgents scattered throughout Equestria. From this day forth, we are at war. War with the AIA and all those that stand between us and its destruction, against all traitors that would dare try and make ruin of our nation and its peoples. We shall sound the horns, raise our arms against you, and bring ruin unto you, Grey Rebl, unto your revolutionists and your misled traitors!!! I, Risen Flagg, shall bring the fury of the goddesses upon Appaloosa!!!!!" There was silence for several moments as Risen Flagg stamped a hoof into the floor of the stage, practically cracking it under his hoof. Afterwards, Risen Flagg calmed down once again and regained his usual composure.

"May the goddesses save Equestria May the goddess bless Equestria," Risen Flagg said as he bowed his head a little and took a step back.

At this, it didn't even take a pin to drop. Almost immediately after he said that last bit, practically every pony in the crowd suddenly went nuts and started screaming at the stage.

"YOU MONSTER!!!" One pony shouted.

"You didn't have to kill her!" Another one shouted.

"Why are you even a senator anyway!?" Another one shouted.

Suddenly, you watch as somepony threw an apple at the stage, which Risen Flagg promptly caught with his magic and let drop the ground. As if on cue, all the guards from behind the stage started walking out and surrounding the crowd, making sure as many of them got between the stage and the crowd as possible.

"I'LL TEAR YOU TO PEICES!!!" You suddenly hear Rainbow Dash shout as she suddenly flies up out of nowhere above the crowd.

"Rainbow!" You shout at her, but she doesn't hear you. She flies up into the air and does a dive kick towards the stage, only for another guard pony, this one a pegasus, to fly up in front of her and knock her back down into the crowd with his spear.

"RAINBOW!!!" You suddenly hear Applejack shout as you suddenly hear the sound of hooves against the ground. You look out in the direction of the voice, but see nothing, just more cursing at the stage. You think you can see a brief glimpse of Applejack's cousin, the one that you met last night at the party, and his buffalo friend, but they're gone almost as quickly as you can see them.

Then you look back towards the stage, and see another pony jump up out of the crowd, and punch one of the guards. Suddenly, at that, the guards start moving into the crowd of ponies as the crowd starts rushing the guards. You watch in horror as the guards start attacking the citizens of Ponyville. This wasn't a crowd anymore, it was a riot.

"PROHIBE!" You shout at the top of your lungs, hoping that everypony will hear. None of them do. "Quaeso te prohibere!" you shout again, but again, everypony ignores you and keeps fighting each other. "Prohibe! Derigo te prohibere!" You shout as loud as you can, using every ounce of focus and power you can to try and get the ponies to stop fighting, but it's no use. They're still going at each other. The guards are still attacking the ponies in the crowd, and the ponies in the crowd are still trying to fight through them to get to the stage.

Just then, suddenly, brick laid in front of the last speck of light, in dawns on you. Something you never thought to test out with your newfound Latin powers. Something you never thought to try, cause you honestly never thought you would need to do it. Well, it looks like you have your answer to it now. You can't.

Even with all of the insane powers at your disposal. You can't control other ponies.

You can't mess with free will.

Slowly, you fall to your knees as this dawns on you. You can't stop this. You can't stop it now. It was already going, and you couldn't even begin to imagine how this was going to end. There was nothing you could do.

All around you, ponies kept running past you to try and get to the stage, but all of them kept getting pushed back by the guards. You... there was nothing you could do.

Slowly, you look back towards the front of the crowd... and you see Time Turner. Slowly, yet not as slowly as you seemed to be seeing things right now. You watch Time Turner get back to his hooves. You watch him stand... and look towards the guards in front of him.

"You...." you hear him say where you're sitting. "You Celestia damned.... SON OF A-" At that, he rushed into the guards as well, only for three of them to come out of nowhere and surround him. One of them hit him in the stomach with his fist, and then another one hit him over the head with the back end of his spear.

"You want to join her?" You hear the guards say as he raises his spear with his magic right above him.

"Stop right there you Celestia damned monsters!" You suddenly hear Rarity shout as she, out of nowhere, runs out from the crowd and gets between Time Turner and the guards. "Who in Celestia's name do you think you are? You, none of you are fit to call yourselves a guard!"

That was it. If this was what it was truly coming to. You weren't gonna stand for it. Not slowly at all, you stand back on your feet.

"Fine," the guard said to her. "If you want to-" He didn't get to finish his sentence. Before he could even say one more word. You step out in between him and Rarity, and grab his spear just under the blade. With that, his attention is on you now. "Great, you want-"

"ABSTRUDO!" you shout as you hit him right in the chest with your other hand and hit him with your open palm. The force of your strike sends the guard flying backwards, past several other guard ponies, and into the stage behind him, upon which it breaks around him.

"You damned dirty ape!" One of the other guards shouts at you as he holds up his spear at you. Several more of his guard friends come out and stand around him as he does. "Don't think we won't hesitate to take you down too!" At that, you take the spear of guard pony that you hit, which was separated from his grasp when you hit him, spin it around several times like the boss that you know you are before you hold it behind your back and hold your free hand out before you position your feet, a fighting stance. The spear is a bit heavy, but for you... now.... this is nothing.

"Come get some," you say to them.

Perspective Shift:

Multiple Characters

Jason Morgan

Applejack

Rainbow Dash

Rarity

Fluttershy

Pinkie Pie

Braeburn

Little Strongheart

Gordon Freebrony

James Tiberius Kirk

Spock

Leonard "Bones" McCoy

Zecora

There is a riot happening right now in the center of Ponyville.

All of you.

What do you do?

What do you do?

Next Chapter:

PONY KOMBAT!!!!!

Riot in Ponyville

Yes, in the next chapter you will get to command ALL of these characters as you help them fight through the riot that is currently taking place in Ponyville. Good luck.

Oh yeah, and as tempting as it may be. Don't even think about going up to attack Risen Flagg or anyone else on the stage. Now is not the time for that. That comes later. Trust me on this one.

Oh, and it kind of should go without saying, but with the exception of the characters involved in this fight, the side story is going to be temporarily halted until this concludes. Sorry.

Author's Note

status: edited

PONY KOMBAT: The Riot

Riot in Ponyville

Fight 'Em Till You Can't by Anthrax

-Jason-

Alright Jason is still channeling Batman, so he knows how to take down several guards at once with fancy moves, just like Batman does on a nightly basis. Hell, this is the kind of combat int he Arkham games so just kick their asses, but don't kill them, you have the control of the Batman to not do so. You don't need any fancy powers, a good old ass kicking is what is needed, and it will help you feel better as you beat them to a pulp with your bare hands for the innocents being hurt and for the death of Derpy.
Rally the ponies you save into a force, you being a badass is good and all, but strength in numbers is good. They will listen to him because he is channeling the Doctor and King Arthur, so they trust him and obey him. Rally together and fight! Show them that they can't fuck with this town.

Jason:
You take the spear and swing it against the three guards in front of you while saying (Force Push) and enjoy the satisfaction that gives you trowing these so called "guards" into the air like rag-dolls, (if the rag-doll physics were programmed it was probably so you can exploit the HELL out of them, so this is the time!!....nor like you were in a videogame or whatever) and turn to the other guards that for a split-second stare in awe while their comrades blast off at speed of light at the sky by the force of your Home-run (Team Rocket would have been proud), but they quickly regain their composure as five of them try to take you down. Before anyone could reach you though you point at them and say (Freeze / Ice make column), almost instantly the guards turn into a living ice cube, one of them can still move his mouth and he whispers: 'I was frozen today'. They won't give you any trouble now though, you turn to Rarity to tell her to get safe, but suddenly she's not in your plain of vision, you try to get a glimpse of the mane 6 in the middle of the riot, but it's too chaotic, your inner Batman tells you to focus on taking the guards down while hoping to come across with them.

Jason, there are a number of ways you could accomplish what you've set out to do. First and foremost, defensive magic. Put a shield around yourself, or make your skin impenetrable, or something. Just in case a lucky guard gets you from behind. I also recommend making all of the guards' weapons disappear. You have to save lives, and sharp weapons wielded by these mad guards could easily kill an innocent pony. They WERE just threatening both Time Turner, Rarity, and you with them, after all. Best get the killing tools out of the picture.
Now, onto knocking them out. There are a number of ways you could do this. Cutting off the oxygen in the area would do it in a short amount of time, and it's relatively safe, once you let oxygen back in. You could also just try summoning some cloths with chloroform in front of their faces, or something. That'd be simple, if a bit ridiculous. Probably the best option, though, would be to summon up a cloud of sleeping gas to knock them out. There are plenty of options of what gas to use. I'll leave that up to you. This would be the safest route, so long as you don't leave it there long enough for them to OD on it, which should be a problem easy enough to mitigate. And to make sure the ponies you don't want knocked out don't, just summon some gas masks on their faces. You summoned a tank before- I'm sure a cloud of gas and some gas masks will be simple enough. You could also try paralysis of some sort. As a last resort- and I mean LAST RESORT- knock them out with hand-to-hand methods: a hard attack to the head, a chokehold, etc...

As for Jason, use your Fus Roh Dah attack thing first. Might as well send as many of the combatants for a loop in one fell swoop.

There were six guard ponies in front of you, and all six of them didn't even waste a second to hear what else you had to say as they all stepped forward and thrust their spears in your direction.

"Contego!" You shout at them as you hold your left hand. Before any of their spears can even touch you, they are all suddenly stopped by a seemingly invisible magical barrier between them and you. It's not that different from the magical barriers that these unicorns use, only, there is nothing there, no magic, no glow, nothing, it's all you, and it stops all of them dead in their tracks.

Their spears bend, and one of them even breaks as their spears suddenly stop a few inches away from your face. You watch as all their eyes suddenly go wide in sudden confusion as they see this. You however, don't even give them the luxury of a second thought before you spin your own spear around and and swing it right at them.

"Queruli virtus!" you shout at them as the force of your swing knocks them all away like rag dolls. You watch them all go flying as one of them heads right for the stage like the first one did. At that, several of the guards around you who were dealing with the other ponies immediately stop what they are doing and watch as their comrades go flying away Team Rocket style. You look around for a moment and see their reactions, which unfortunately only last for a moment as they all regain their composure and turn their attention towards you.

Immediately, one of them rushes you, but you swat his spear out of the way with your own and kick him in the chest, which knocks him back a bit, only for another guard to come up from behind you and swing his spear right at your head. Instinctively, though you're not even sure how you saw that coming, you duck under his swing, then spin around and take out the guard's legs with your own spear before standing back up, spinning your spear around again, and thrusting the blunt end of your spear into his gut.

You would have hit him with the blade, and by all accounts you wanted to, but both your inner Batman and Doctor stopped you before you could even think anything like that. Your inner Batman screams at you that there's been enough killing while your inner Doctor tells you that you can't be like these people. You have to be better. Both are refusing to let you kill. Your inner King Arthur however, strangely has not problem with it.

Still, it wasn't as if it was all for naught, you hit the guard hard enough that he actually coughs up blood, which for some reason, you notice that bits of it are green. This catches the attention of your inner Batman, but before you can even get a spare second to look at it, another guard suddenly comes up from behind you and thrusts his spear at you. You quickly move to the side just as he passes you, and, just as he comes up right next to you, you take a step back and elbow him right in his chest with your left arm.

What happens at that surprises even you, but you don't question it, but the impact of your elbow in his armor actually manages to dent his armor as you knock him back a bit just from that. You then quickly turn around and hit him in the helmet with your spear and knock him out cold before he can do anything else, just as another pegasus guard comes from behind him, flies up, and swings down right on you.

You hold your spear up and block his before you again do something you aren't even sure how you did; you jump up into the air and kicked him right in his side, which knocked him right into another guard that is coming right for you. You land back on your feet and turn to see several guards coming for you at once.

"Factus circumductus in glaciem!" you shout at them as all of them are suddenly trapped in ice from the torso down. You watch them all struggle to move, but they don't manage to break free of the ice. It has them trapped.

"Rarity!" you shout as you turn around to look for her, but she's not behind you anywhere. You can't even see Time Turner. Everything is too chaotic. Your inner Batman and Doctor tell you that they'll be all right, but you're not entirely sure you can believe them. Not with all of this going on.

Before you even get a chance at another thought however, several guards that you didn't seen before suddenly jump up out from the crowd and all come down on you with their spears.

"Amen impenetrabilis est," you say aloud as you duck your head down. Right as all of their spears hit you, your body suddenly becomes encased in stone, which stops all of their spears as easily as your shield did earlier. Nearly all of the guards are unable to comprehend this, but before they even get a chance to say anything, you suddenly break out from the stone with an explosive force and knock all of them away.

You look around the crowd again, but you don't see anyone. This is not going to be easy.

-Braeburn and Little Strongheart-

Braeburn and Strongheart: Get to Time Turner! He needs help and is more than likely your target. Get him away from the guards and Flagg and call into the AIA, you have to warn them. Maybe you should group up with Kirk and the others, they have communication devices.

AIA agents Braeburn and Little Strongheart: Go meet up with Timeturner and help him reach Derpy's corpse. Simply having a small chat with them at a time seemed to pushed a few buttons in you both. Don't inflict harmful wounds, just knock them out. Get the crowd under control, training at the AIA had covered this. Senseless violence is going to get ponies unnecessarily hurt.

The moment the riot started, Applejack ran straight out into the crowd towards the front.

"Applejack!" Braeburn shouted as he took off after her.

"Braeburn!" Little Strongheart shouted at him as she tried to run after him, but before she could even more a foot, two guards came up out of nowhere and got between her and Braeburn.

"Where do you think you're going?" One of them said to her in a very condescending tone. Little Strongheart looked between them for a moment, then back in the direction Braeburn went. She could not longer see him. She practically growled to herself as she, acting purely on instinct, grabbed the spear of the guard to her left before kicking the guard to her right in the side. She then immediately, with the other guard's spear still in her hooves, jumped up into the air and kicked the guard in the head with a spinning kick. She then took the spear from the guard's hooves and hit the guard that she just kicked in the head with it right as she landed.

At that she then dropped the spear and looked around through the crowd. She didn't see Braeburn or Applejack, but she did see another pony. She saw Time Turner. She saw him lying on the ground as the riot was erupting all around him.

With Braeburn gone, Little Strongheart, with a speed that Rainbow Dash was still jealous off, took off in Time Turner's direction. She ran as quickly as she could, weaving in and out of fight as she past them, and right under the spear of another guard that took a swing at right as she reached him. She ducked under his spear, and without stopping, jumped straight up into the air and landed on his head. She then jumped back up again and kicked him face first down into the dirt.

Right as she did that, two more guards showed up and pointed their spears at her, but she grabbed both of them and pushed them both backwards, making them hit themselves in the gut with their own spears before she leapt up and bucked one of them in the face with her rear hooves. Before the other guard could do anything, she punched him right in the face through the helmet with her own hoof and knocked him out.

With them out of the way, she dashed right to the still unconscious body of Time Turner and got on top of him. She put a hoof to his neck and checked his pulse, he was alive, but out cold. She then looked up into the riot all around her. Fights were breaking out in every possible direction. There was nowhere she could go.

-Enterprise Away Team-

Kirk, Spock, Bones: Set to stun

Zecora: use any sleeping potions you have on you, or at least some smoke screens

Freebrony: Put that Crowbar to good use

Right, Kirk, Gordon, Spock, McCoy, Set phasers to stun. Priority are those with weapons. Priority on keeping Jason safe. Secondary is to hit the most violent ponies.

Since I joined kind of late, I'm only going to say this...
Kirk, Spock and co, set phasers to stun and fire away.
Pass it. Off as magic if anyone asks questions.

Kirk, Spock, McCoy, and Zecora all stared directly at the stage with stunned looks on their faces. Zecora more so than the others since she actually knew this pony. Gordon Freebrony on the other hoof. He.... the look on his face was stunned at first, but shortly afterwards, he grit his teeth together so hard that he threatened to shatter them with the force of his own bite as he could only look at the stage in an expression of pure rage.

Then, when the riot spread out right to them, they had to snap themselves out of it.

"DAMNIT!" Kirk shouted as another pony was thrown to the ground by a guard in front of them. Kirk didn't even waste any time as he pulled out his phaser. "Set phasers to stun! Take out those guards!" Without even saying anything, both Spock and McCoy took out their phasers and shot out into the crowd. Kirk shot at the guard pony in front of him right as he was about to thrust his spear right into the pony he had just knocked down. The pony looked up confused at Kirk, and saw the device in his hooves. "Go on! Get out of here!" Kirk shouted to her as he moved over to where she was.

Out of nowhere, another guard came out right at Kirk's left and swung down on him with his spear. Kirk stepped back a bit to dodge it, then stepped on the guard's spear while it was still on the ground before hit the guard in the face with an elbow before hitting him with an uppercut before shooting him right in the chest with his phaser.

Suddenly, from behind him, another guard swung at Kirk. Kirk ducked under his swing, then when the guard tried to swing back at him, Kirk grabbed the guard's spear by its staff portion, then spun around the spear so that he was right next to the guard. He then shot another guard pony that was coming up on him from his right with his phaser before aiming it up and shooting the guard he was next to right in the head.

Spock shot forward at another guard pony before he hit another innocent mare. Right after he did, another pegasus guard flew down at him. Spock ducked under him, but the pegasus guard landed right in front of him and swung his spear. Spock grabbed the spear before it hit him and hit the guard pony on the neck with a Vulcan nerve pinch, which knocked him out cold right there.

McCoy just shot out into the crowd and hit as many guard ponies as he could before a unicorn guard came up right in front of him and charged his horn with his lime green aura. McCoy shot him with his phaser before he could do anything.

"Damnit Jim!" he shouted right as a particularly large guard pony charged at him, which he rolled out of the way to avoid before he shot him. "I'm a doctor not a god damned soldier!"

Zecora watched with a mixture of shock and awe at the spectacle that was unfolding right in front of her. Ponies were fighting everywhere, and her new friends, the ones that she found out came from the stars, were fighting these ponies with strange devices that she had never seen. She thought back to the manticore, when she first met them. It had been knocked out by something, yet she could see no wounds. The devices they used seem to shoot some kind of blast and these ponies that knocked them out instantly. Suddenly it all made sense to her. That was what they used.

"Okay what the f*ck!!!!" She suddenly heard Gordon Freebrony yell as she turned to face him. Gordon Freebrony at this point, had seemingly had enough as he pulled out his crowbar and ran right into the fight in front of him.

Right as another guard was about to hit an innocent, earth pony mare, Gordon Freebrony ran right up to him and hit him square in the face with his crowbar.

"OKAY CHILDREN CLASS IS IN SESSION!!!" Gordon shouted as he swung down and hit the guard in his face several more times with his crowbar before he got up. Suddenly, while he was beating the guard senseless, three more guards came out of nowhere, but Gordon Freebrony stepped back away before they could hit him, then swung his crowbar again and hit one of them in the head before stepping backwards into the one behind him and shoving the back end of his crowbar right through the guard's helmet visor into his eyes before spinning around and hitting him with an uppercut across the head with his crowbar. "EVERYONE TAKE YOUR SEAT!!!" He then spun around and swung his crowbar down at the third guard pony, who raised his spear with his magic, as he was a unicorn, to block it. Gordon Freebrony however, head butted the guard right in the horn and made him loose his concentration. He then pulled the spear away with his crowbar before hitting him with an uppercut with his free fist before knocking him in the side of the head again with his crowbar.

The guard pony's spear however, flew away from the two of them into the crowd of fighting ponies, right at Zecora's feet. Zecora looked down at it as it stopped in front of her, then back at Gordon Freebrony as three more guards were closing in on him.

"I SAID EVERYONE TAKE YOUR SEAT!!!!" Gordon shouted as he knocked off one guard's helmet with his crowbar before punching him in the head. Another guard swung at him horizontally with his spear, but Gordon Freebrony held out his crowbar and blocked the guard's spear before spinning himself around, grabbed the guard's spear with his crowbar again, then spun his crowbar around to disarm the guard, then spun his crowbar around again in such away that he hit the guard with his own spear. He then spun around and blocked the spear of the third guard right as he swung at him with the other guard's spear. Quickly, he then punched the guard in the face before letting go of the other guard's spear with his crowbar and then knocking the guard in front of him upside the head, which knocked him backwards onto his back. Without even wasting a second, Gordon Freebrony ran over, got on top of him, and started beating the guard senseless with his crowbar. "DAMNIT BILLY THAT MEANS YOU TOO!!!!" He shouted as he hit the guard in the face again, and again, and again, until he was more than positive that he had bashed his skull in.

While he was doing that, another guard that he had failed to notice came up from before him with his spear raised. Before he could hit him however, another spear came out of nowhere and hit him in the back of the head. Zecora then rushed forward and kicked the guard away from Gordon Freebrony right as another guard showed up. Zecora turned and raised her spear to block it, but Gorfon Freebrony got back up and blocked the guard's spear with his crowbar before punching him in the face. Zecora then quickly spun her spear around and knocked the guard away from them.

The two of them then looked past each other as they both spun around each other and blocked the spears from the two guards coming at them from opposite sides. Gordon Freebrony blocked one with his crowbar, Zecora blocked one with the spear she got. Zecora held her spear high, but then brought the other guard's spear low before hitting him with her right hoof right in the neck and then kicking him away.

"TAKE YOUR SEAT!!!" Gordon Freebrony shouted as he just knocked his guard's spear away again and punched him right in the face before kicking him away.

At that, both Gordon Freebrony and Zecora backed up into each other as they stood back to back and looked around. They were surrounded by guards now.

-Rarity-

Help Jason in his fight, these guards are bullshit!

Rarity:
You can not believe what has just happened now, but you are currently beyond furious, this ....Risen Flagg after psychologically breaking you down with his......lies and insults, now has the NERVE to execute a beloved pony from the town on the spot in front of everypony without even a fair trial! And those pitiful excuses for guards ....didn't ...even ...flinch! As one of the guard prepared to hit you with a spear, Jason suddenly appears, stopping the guards from hitting you and striking them flying backwards. You see through the corner of your eye two other guards preparing to tackle Time Turner, who kept trying to continue getting up the stage towards the lifeless body of his wife. You dismiss the lack of "ladylike" conduct on your next course of action as you point your horn against them and blast them with a magic ray, getting them far from the devastated pony, this however isn't enough to put them down (you fear that your magic beams are not as powerful as Twilight's), as they rise and run towards you with a serious look. As you prepare to blast them again, an unconscious pegasus guard falls on top of them, knocking them out cold as you watch dumbfounded of what have just happened.

You...... You cannot believe for the life of you what is happening in front of you right now.

Being psychotically broken down by him after he called you what he did is one thing, and let's face it, it's not as if you haven't heard things like that at least once before in your life. You've lived a long time, and as unfortunate as it sounds, not everypony you've met has had a good opinion of you, it's just life. You were a mature mare however, you could deal with that, even if it did hurt more than usual at times, but this.....

He.... He had THE NERVE to do that to Derpy Hooves of all ponies. To destroy her image, to talk about her the way he did, to then to condemn her to death, and do it publicly in front of every pony she knew... without a fair trial. It wasn't as if he was just spitting in all of your faces as well as hers, but the entire Equestrian legal system.

And those guards. The guards who were part of Equestria's royal guard under Celestia herself. Not only did they not even flinch, but they made it happen. They captured Derpy, they brought her to the stage, they hurt Time Turner when he tried to get to her. That.... That was just it.

In front of you, you watch Jason, with the strange, new strange new powers that he told you about yesterday, knock back several guards with one swing of a spear. As shocked as you were to even see him do that, especially since you knew for a fact now that humans can't do magic, even though what he just did was definitely some form of magic, now was not the time for that.

All the guards around you were too distracted by Jason and his sudden new ability to take all of them out without breaking a sweat to care about you. Quickly, you look around for the rest of your friends. You don't find any of them, but you turn back around to see the still motionless body of Time Turner. You then look up and see two more guard ponies coming right towards him. You could tell they weren't looking at Jason, they were heading towards Time Turner.

After everything that poor stallion had just experienced.... it still wasn't enough for them.

You feel as if your teeth are about to shatter under your own bite as you grind them against each other in anger.

"GGGGAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" You scream at the absolute top of your lungs as you dismiss your ladylike behavior and charge your horn with all the magic you can muster.

Before either of those pitiful excuses for guard ponies even reach Time Turner, you lower your horn towards them and blast them with a concentrated burst of magic, just like you'd seen Twilight do many times. Both of the guard ponies look up at you as they hear you scream. Your magic blast hits one of them and knocks him back so far that he's probably out of the crowd by now. The other one, unfortunately, the other one quickly jumped to his right before the blast even hit him and he managed to avoid it.

The other guard rolls back onto his feet and turns his attention towards you. The look on his face is probably one of the most serious looks you've ever seen on a guard. You don't care though. For what they did. They all will pay. You don't even care how much your horn hurts right now because of how much magic you just threw into that attack. They all are going down.

The other guard then wastes no quarter and runs at you with his spear raised in his lime green magical grasp. You don't care anymore, you run right at him screaming as you charge your horn again for another magical attack.

Before the two of you can even reach each other, you blast him with your magic, but he stops where he is and puts up his own lime green magical barrier, which successfully blocks your attack. As your blast clears, you notice the lime green colored bubble surrounding him. He keeps it up for another moment before he swings his spear to the side and shuts it off. The smirk on his face is one of the most ugly things you've ever seen on a guard.

You charge your horn again, despite it being too soon, you don't care. The guard just chuckles to himself a bit before he raises his spear again. Before he can even take a step towards you however, another pegasus guard falls from the sky right on top of him and knocks him out cold. As angry as you are, you can't help but stand there dumbfounded as you turn and look up towards the sky where the pegasus came from.

-Fluttershy-

Fluttershy:
This...this can not be happening :fluttercry: Derpy, was shot in the head in front of the entire town after been labeled a traitor. She always had been a nice pony, you didn't talked with her much since you did't actually been that close to her, but she was without a doubt a good pony, anypony in Ponyville could attest to that, always delivering letters, which sometimes got switched by mistake, and passing by at Sugarcube Corned to get a loud her favorite muffins. And since she had married Time Turner she had looked as happy and clumsy than ever. She certainly couldn't be a traitor planning to overthrow the princesses. She didn't deserved this......even if she was a traitor how could have they just..."end her" like this, without a proper trial in Canterlot with the princesses. This ....cannot .....be ....happening......

How could they........?

How dare you.......

HOW DARE YOU!!!! :flutterrage:

YOU MONSTER!!!

You fly above the multitude, as you make your way towards the stage, ignoring the shouts of warning from Applejack. You see Rainbow Dash get hit by a pegasus guard as she approached the stage. Almost at the same time, you suddenly encounter another pegasus guard who tries to put you down, in any other occasion you would have apologized, flown away and tried tomorrow, but NOT today, you have not been this angry before, in fact it seems like an eternity since the last time you were so mad that you could just scream:
HOW DARE YOU! YOU SHOULD BEEN ASHAMED OF YOURSELF FOR CALLING YOU A GUARD! NO GUARD SHOULD STAND OR SUPPORT THIS MISCARRIAGE OF JUSTICE AND ABUSE HIS AUTHORITY TO BULLY PONIES LIKE THAT!!!
This takes aback the pegasus guard, who clearly didn't expect such a violent outburst like that, he takes a second to get over his stupor and flies towards you with the intent to block you.
You remember when you swore that day to never again became that.....monster, to never return to that state for the sake of your friends, to forget everything "he" taught you, to not even remember what you "learned", but the situation is unbearable and you cannot be just sitting down after what has happened. So as soon as the guard reaches you, you put to good use what you learned:

WHEN SOMEPONY TRIES TO BLOCK....
You turn around, and...
SHOW THEM THAT YOU ROCK!!!!!!!
...you kick the hay out the guard, as hard as you can muster, POW! Right in the kisser!
The guard got knocked out instantly, dropping like a fly into the top of other two guards who were attaching a familiar white mare with a stylish mane, who was now confused about the sudden realization of events.
You ignore the guilt of having hurt another pony as you reach rainbow Dash, who had just recovered from the recent blow.

This.... this can't be happening.....

That pony... Risen Flagg...... he killed Derpy in front of everypony and labeled her as some kind of traitor to Equestria.

That wasn't true, you knew it wasn't. No, you KNOW it isn't.

Yeah, you never really knew her personally. You two were never that close since the two of you never really had a chance to talk that often, but she was a nice pony. Pretty much everypony in Ponyville could attest to that. She would always deliver the mail without a hitch to anypony, and even though everypony always made fun of her for that one incident where she accidentally switched two packages and dropped them off to the wrong addresses, she hardly ever made any mistakes in her job. Pinkie Pie probably knew her better than anypony, as she always stopped off at Sugarcube Corner to get her favorite muffins.

And ever since she married Time Turner, she's been happier than ever....

So why would anypony take that away.

Not only did he label her a traitor like that, he killed her without even giving her a fair trial, as everypony was supposed to be entitled to, but he spat right in the face of that.

You don't even notice what's happening all around you, as you are still trying to comprehend what you just saw.

That pony.... Risen Flagg....... That......

"YOU MONSTER!!!!" you suddenly scream at the top of your lungs as feelings that you had long since hoped you had eradicated completely start overwhelming you one again. Without even wasting another second to think again, you spread your wings and fly up above the crowd of fighting ponies.

"Fluttershy!" You think you hear Applejack scream as you take off, but you ignore it. You look towards the stage, at Risen Flagg... that... that monster. You can see him looking right at you. He..... he was smiling. That...... suddenly monster is too good a word for him. You will make him pay for what he did.

Just as you prepare to fly right towards him, out of the corner of your eye, you watch Rainbow Dash suddenly get knocked from the sky by another pegasus guard.

When that fills your vision. Something takes hold of you. Lessons that you had learned a long time ago, that you had tried to forget, and you thought you were successful start welling up again. On any other day, you would you would have apologized to him, flown away and tried again tomorrow, but now.... the only thing occupying your mind right now are the familiar words in an oh so familiar voice "When somepony tries to block..... SHOW THEM THAT YOU ROCK!!!"

You fly forwards as fast as you possibly can and punch the guard right in the kisser. You watch him fall out of the sky like a rock down onto another guard that was running towards another white mare. You ignore that for a moment as you turn and look where Rainbow Dash fell. You see her, but you also see another pegasus guard come out of nowhere and fly over to where she is.

Without wasting a second you fly right at the guard and tackle him right out of the sky. The two of you land on the ground right next to Rainbow Dash and roll for a moment before you end up on top of the guard.

"HOW DARE YOU!!!!" You shout as you punch the guard right in his face and knock his helmet off, and then again with your other hoof. "YOU SHOULD BEEN ASHAMED TO CALL YOURSELF A GUARD! NO GUARD SHOULD STAND OR SUPPORT THIS MISCARRIAGE OF JUSTICE AND ABUSE HIS AUTHORITY TO BULLY PONIES LIKE THAT!!!" With every word you scream, you land another blow to the guard's face, and you keep going until. Again, and again you keep hitting him.

Suddenly, your self defense training kicks in as you hear somepony coming up behind you. You move out of the way and get off of the guard just as the other guard comes up and swing down where you were and hits the guard you were just beating up instead. Instinctively, you spin around, grab the guard's spear, then spin around it again as you break it from his grasp before spinning the spear around and smacking him across the face with it.

You then look over and notice another guard approaching Rainbow Dash, who is just getting to standing up again. You quickly spin the spear around with your wings before grabbing and throwing it right at the guard. Not expecting that, the guard raises his spear to block it, but it knocks him back anyway just long enough for you to fly right at him and kick him with both of your rear hooves right in the stomach. The other guard falls right to the ground as you flip over in mid air thanks to your wings and land right next to Rainbow Dash.

-Applejack-

Help Jason in his fight, these guards are bullshit!

Applejack: As an earth pony, close combat would be the way to go. However, the pandemonium ensuing is going to lower your abilities in that crowd, unless you can fight in such a situation. Disarm the ones with weaponry; those spears have a long range to keep you away. Knock them out too, and don't hold back; they had guard training, you know.

You run right out into the crowd of ponies towards the stage. You weren't so much angry as...... Okay, that was a lie, you were angry as all of Tartarus you could imagine. That pathetic excuse for a pony just killed Derpy, and that was unforgivable, but your attention wasn't so much on that right now. Everypony was rioting in the streets right now, and all of your friends were in it somewhere. As much as you wanted to kick that pony Risen Flagg's fat flank, you could take care of that later.

"You monster!" You suddenly a familiar, usually soft voice shout from above you as you look up to see Fluttershy fly up above the crowd.

"Fluttershy!" You call out to her, but she just ignores you and flies right towards the stage. As you follow her track, you look down to notice another guard pony right in front of you brining his spear right down on you. Your eyes go wide as you see it coming, but then suddenly, something happens. The spear suddenly stops.

You then look to see somepony's hoof had grabbed it, a hoof that was a cream color that wasn't too different from Fluttershy. Suddenly, you watch as Braeburn suddenly steps forward and punches the guard right in the face before ripping the spear from his hands, spinning it around and hitting him in the head, and then quickly jumping up, turning around, and bucking the guard right in the chest and sending him flying backwards.

Suddenly, you watch as another guard comes right up to him and swings at him, he just leans back and dodges the spear by leaning back, then stepping forward right as the guard was about to swing back and punching the guard right in the neck. He then grabbed the guard pony's hoof right as the spear was about to hit him, and, with a move where you weren't quite sure what he did, you hear a loud cracking noise as the guard pony screamed in pain.

Before any of them could even react to anything else, another guard pony came out of nowhere from behind the two of them and swung downwards with his spear. Braeburn backed away from the guard before he could hit him, but the other guard whose hoof he just broke didn't and the other guard cut off his hoof with his spear.

Braeburn stepped back a bit as the other guard, who didn't even take a moment to register what happened, pulled his spear back up and swung upwards with it at Braeburn. Braeburn leaned back to dodge it, but the guard, who held his spear in a sort of lime green magical aura, spun the spear around and swung again. Again, Braeburn backed away. The unicorn guard then spun his spear around and charged his spear with some kind of magical blast. Braeburn quickly ducked out of the way right as the guard pony shot him and instead hit another guard pony that was coming up behind him.

The more you watch you cousin, it was like the less you knew him, as long as you had known him, he was never able to do anything like this. That didn't matter though, he was in danger.

Without even taking another second to question it, you ran forward at the guard, then quickly turned around and bucked him right in the side before he could take another swing at Braeburn. Your kick has been just as powerful if not more so than Braeburn's, so you had sent the guard flying with the amount of force she had kicked him with.

Braeburn just looked up at you for a moment, you look back at him, a bit confused. Before either of you could say anything though, he suddenly kicked the spear that the unicorn guard had dropped when you kicked him and pushed you down to the ground with his other hoof.

It took you a moment to roll back over and see what he had just did, but when you look back up, you see your cousin Braeburn with the spear in his hooves blocking the spear of another earth pony guard in front of him. The look in your cousin's eyes was one that you'd never seen, it was like he was determined to hurt this pony. You'd never even seen him like this when he was in the buffalo war. What happened?

Before you could even contemplate anything else, Braeburn suddenly rushed forward and kneed the guard in the stomach with one of his rear hooves. Despite the guard's armor, he still somehow felt it. Braeburn then thrust his spear to the side and disarmed the guard before he, as well as any guard, spun the spear around in his hooves and knocked the guard out cold with it as he hit him right in he head.

Without even wasting another second, he then stuck the blunt end of the spear into the ground, then jumped up and spun around it like a pole as he kicked another guard that was coming for him right in the face.

As confused and shocked as you were to see this, you quickly got back to your hooves as you see another guard running at Braeburn. Quickly, you grab the apple that you had packed in your saddlebag for a mid train ride snack and threw it at the guard. The apple hit the guard right in the head. Confused, he turned to look in your direction, only to come face to face with your hoof as you punched him right to the ground before you jumped up and kicked him in the stomach with both of your rear hooves, almost like a buck. The guard pony coughs up a bit of blood as you do this.

You then get off of him and look towards Braeburn. The look you give him pretty much tells him that the two of you are definitely going to talk about this later, but for now, that was going to have to wait. You only see him nod as another guard comes right up to his side.

Quickly, you rush at Braeburn and push him out of the way before you dodge the spear and trip the guard as the spin around on the ground and take out his feet. You then quickly roll over and elbow him in the head. You then look up to see another guard pony standing right above you, but Braeburn comes back out of nowhere and kicks him away from you before he can hit you.

-Pinkie Pie-

Help Jason in his fight, these guards are bullshit!

Pinkie Pie: This is no time to smile... I got a BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD feeling about Pinkie... :pinkiecrazy:
May her enemies have mercy on their souls...

Pinkie Pie: Can you hear me? Do you not know that mare, Pinkie? 'Cause you know you do. She always come by to your store and buy muffins in bags. You both make small talk, and every time you do you know her a little more. You know her well. And there are those certain things that you know about her that makes her death even more tragic.

Now, we don't need Pinkie Pie the Crazy Party Pony. No, we need more than just crazy. We need Horse shit crazy. Become the wrath of Ponyville, and show them...

Show them how much we love Derpy.

They.... they..... they killed her.

You knew Derpy Hooves better than most ponies. Sure, you knew everypony in Ponyville, but Derpy in particular... She stopped in Sugarcube Corner every week it seemed to pick up a new batch of muffins for her and her beloved Time Turner. You made small talk whenever she was in, and she always talked about her job as a mailmare and her husband, and every time she talked you felt as if you knew her a little more. Sure, she was a bit clumsy sometimes, and a bit ditzy when it came to it, but a traitor.... no.... she didn't have it in her to do anything like that. You knew she didn't.

It was these little things that you knew about her that made this senseless action even more tragic to you. You... as much as you tried to smile every day, you.... you couldn't feel the urge to.... not now.

You... you feel something you don't feel often. You feel sad.

You can literally feel the poofieness of your hair deflate again as the smile leaves you and you look at the floor beneath you. You... you just don't even have the strength to move. Then, it feels as if the other sense you didn't even know were lost return to you, and you suddenly hear what's happening around you. Everypony that you knew.... everypony that was your friend.... these guards.... they had killed Derpy... and now they were going to hurt your friends....

"Become the wrath of Ponyville..." you hear a voice that sounds like yours say to you. "Show them just how much we love Derpy...." Then, suddenly, at that, you feel your smile return, though it feels different somehow.

Then, you look back up and see right in front of you a random guard with his spear raised at somepony. Who? You don't see who, all you see is the guard.

You feel the smile on your face widen enough to hurt even your face as you get off your haunches and take off towards the guard. Right as you reach the guard, he doesn't see you coming, you jump right up into the air, spin around, and kick him right across the face with your right rear hoof. The force of your blow is enough to not only knock him to the floor and knock his helmet from his head. The guard falls right to the floor, he's not about to get up anytime soon.

The pony that you saved says something to you, but you don't hear her. You just turn around and notice two more guards behind you. Both of them seem a little freaked out by you for some reason. You can't fathom why, you are smiling, and everypony knows that you love to make ponies SMILE!!!!!

Before either of them can react, you jump up into the air, raise your left forehoof, and land right on the guard to your right as you punch him right into the face and tackle him to the ground. Your hoof is practically crushing his helmet. You then look up at the other pony to your left. He seems.... shaken somehow, you can't wonder why, you are just so happy right now. Maybe he needs you to teach him how to SMILE!!!!

Before he can even react either, you jump up and kick him in the face so hard that he flies backwards into another guard pony and knocks him out. The other guard breaks his fall and right as he tries to get back up, you get right up in front of him and grab him by the neck with your left hoof. Ah, he feels as if he can barely breathe, is he that happy to be here? Maybe he needs more smiles.... Luckily, you have plenty of smiles to give him. They are right here... in your hoof. You just need to put them on his face.

You then give the guard some smiles, but it's not enough. He's still not smiling, so you give him more.... and more... and more..... and more..... and more..... and more......

-Rainbow Dash-

Help Jason in his fight, these guards are bullshit!

Rainbow Dash: You can fly, and you are fast. Utilize hit and run tactics to knock the Pegasi enemies out of the sky, but watch yourself so that you don't run into their spears. Take their weapons if you can, too.

Rainbow Dash:
You recover from the recent blow and stand up while Fluttershy arrives at your spot.
'Rainbow Dash are you ok? How are you feeling?'
'I feel.....absolutely...... livid' You respond, as you display your wings and fly up to the sky, dodging a pegasus guard and speeding up high, you continue to fly until you decide that's high enough. This murderer will pay, he had no idea about what unrelenting force he had awakened, and this day he will remember what do you get when you anger the mare that made the impossible happen.
User Command: Sonic Rainboom that motherf****r

You get back up from being knocked down by that guard earlier only to see Fluttershy land right next to you.

"Rainbow Dash, are you okay?" Fluttershy asks you. Her voice doesn't seem like her own. It sounds as if some kind of evil entity had just possessed Fluttershy like in those mangas you read. You couldn't see her face since she was looking away from you, but you just knew that if you could, you wouldn't like what you would see, and that it wouldn't be Fluttershy, at least not the one you knew. Still....

"Yeah..." you say to her as you get back to your hooves. "I feel....." Right as you say that, you get back up only to look directly at the stage. Risen Flagg was still on it. "Absolutely livid..." you respond to her as you raise both your wings. Without even waiting for a response from her, you fly up again and dodge another pegasus guard that was coming right for you.

You're not about to fall for that same thing twice though, and you grab the guard's spear with both your forehooves. Then, using a move that you learned at the Wonderbolt academy, you spin around in mid air and rip the spear from his hooves before the spin it around and thrust the blunt end of it right into his stomach. You then watch as the guard falls right back to the ground. He tries to get back up, but before he can even move and inch, you watch Fluttershy immediately turn around and tackle him away from you.

You leave her too that as you drop the spear and fly up into the air high above the clouds. The other ponies were fighting below, but the stage was wide open, and that mother***** would PAY FOR WHAT HE DID TO DERPY!!!!

"Sonic Rainboom motherb*cker!" You shout as you adjust yourself and take off towards the stage, right at Risen Flagg. You flew right over the riot, past all the guard ponies, they were too slow for you, right at Risen Flagg... he would pay... he would-

Before you could even finish that though, your vision is suddenly filled with a sort of lime green light as you hit something solid and fall right back to the ground.

You land on your back and look up at the sky. Your vision is spinning, you can barely see the clouds above you, or the ponies around you. You try to move, but you fall right back down. Whatever you hit... you must have hit it hard. Just then, you see what looks like some kind of golden and bluish blob fill your vision before it's suddenly replaced by something more cream colored.

-Razor and Daedalus-

"WOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" Mehrunes Dagon Razor shouted as he blocked another guard pony's spear with his own spear before he spun his own spear around tossed the guard's spear aside. He then headbutted the other guard right through his helmet and then spun his own spear around and knocked him right in the head with it, knocking him out.

Then, just as three more guards came running up behind him, Razor covered his spear in fire as he spun around and swung it at them with a mad grin on his face. The three guards backed away as Razor swung his spear at them. One of them blocked it and tried to move in closer, but as he did, Razor punched the guard with his free left hoof right in the neck before stepping forward with his other forehoof and punching the guard right in the knee, effectively breaking it.

The guard screamed in pain as Razor stepped away and swung the blade of his spear at the guard's neck and cut his throat open, the fire also immediately cauterizing the wound. Just then, one of the other guard ponies ran up and swung at Razor. Before he could hit him, Razor immediately teleported a few feet away, and when he reappeared, he created his spear again, then rushed forward and stabbed the guard right through his armor and right through his chest. Right as he did that, the third guard ran at him, but before he could reach him, Razor immediately jumped up and kicked him in the head with his left rear hoof before teleporting again right above him, landing on him, and then grabbed the guard by his head, and then in one swift motion, jumped off of the guards back, vaulted himself over the guard, used the guard's head to control his momentum, then as he landed back on his own two rear hooves, he lifted up the guard and threw him directly into another guard that was rushing him.

Razor couldn't help but smirk to himself as he saw that. In the corner of his eyes, he noticed four more guard ponies running up at him. To which Razor responded to by creating several balls of fire and throwing them all at the oncoming guard ponies. All of his fireballs exploded the second they all hit the guards.

"See, I told you this would be fun!" Razor shouted to someone else in the crowd just as another guard came up out of nowhere and swung at him with another spear.

"Move to Ponyville you said," Daedalus the thirteenth said with very much sarcasm in his voice as he grabbed the spear of another guard, then stepped forward as he punched the guard right in the head with enough force to knock him right to the ground. "Lots of peace and quiet you said." Then, suddenly, several unicorn guards surrounded Daedalus, all with their spears raised. Daedalus just let out a loud sigh to himself as he pressed a button on his tie pin. Suddenly, what seemed like some kind of EMP wave went out around him, and all of the unicorn guards spontaneously dropped their spears.

They all looked down at their weapons, confused as all hell, but then one of them looked back up to notice Daedalus flying right at him. He didn't even have time to react before Daedalus punched him right in the face and knocked him out with just that single punch. The second guard didn't even have time to react either as Daedalus spread his wings and flew right up into the air before coming back down and landing on top of him. One of the other guards ran over and tried to punch Daedalus, but Daedalus quickly grabbed his hoof before he could touch him.

Then, suddenly, one of the other guards, who picked up his spear with his hooves, ran at Daedalus and tried to attack him. Daedalus however, while still holding on to the other guard, swung the other guard around like a rag doll and knocked the other guard pony who was rushing him down to the ground. Before the other guard could get back up, Daedalus swung the other guard like a rag doll again and knocked the guard down into the dirt again, and again, and again, and again, and this continued for some time as Daedalus proceeded to beat a motherf*cker, with another motherf*cker.

-Jason-

Jason: Your spear is some sort of metal, I presume. And said spear can be charge with a lightning enchantment. A maneuverability enchantment for yourself is also recommended, especially in this kind of situation. We don't want to kill them, no, but heavily disarming them with nonlethal strikes are available. Inner Batman can help you with this, so you'll be mostly channeling him if you do. Oh yes, before I forget, you best improve your defenses. Make your body strong as diamond, so no sneak attacks will work.

Jason Morgan: Maybe you can't control the will of a living thing, but you can still control the environment. First, handicap the earth pony guards. Use ice to make it harder for them to move. Then, use wind against the pegasi guards. Don't worry about Rainbow Dash, she can take it. However, watch for the ponyvillians. This job requires precision. Your inner Batman makes it easier for you.

and ferrum et accipitris (FALCON PUNCH) that jerk in the face!!! ):[

You watch with a mixture of shock and horror as Rainbow Dash crashes right into the lime green force field that's now surrounding the stage before dropping from the sky like a bird that just crashed into a window. While you are more than certain that that force field wasn't there before, you aren't exactly surprised that they put one up, given all that's going on right now. That however, is not important right now. Rainbow Dash, you've got to get to her.

You frantically look around towards the front of the stage for any sign of her, but all you see is ponies fighting. You can't tell where she landed. As you look back across the stage, you eyes lock with Risen Flagg's, who is still on the stage watching this. In fact, he is looking directly at you.

Your inner Batman reminds you of how in any real situation like this, someone as important as him would not stick around, they would get the hell out of there first chance they got. They wouldn't stay at all unless something else was on their mind. That's not what's bothering you about him right now though. It's the way he's looking at you right now. He's... he's smiling. He's smiling like he's enjoying all of this, and he doesn't seem at all surprised about you or the powers that you are using. Several of the guards you've kicked to crap were confused as all hell when you used your powers... not that it stopped them from trying to attack you, but Risen Flagg.... there really is something different about him. Why would he even look at you like that at all let alone stay here.

You don't get another moment to think about it however as out of the corner of your eye, you see another guard coming up behind you. You move to the side really quickly as the guard thrusts his spear right past you. Quickly, you grab onto it before he can pull it away, then, with it still on your arm, you spin around and knock the guard in the head with your own spear as you rip the spear from his hooves.

With him out of the way, you look up into the sky towards the stage again and notice several pegasus guards flying over towards a certain spot. You can't see what's there, but somehow, you know it's somehow Rainbow Dash.

"Voluptua cum impetu venti!" you shout as you spin around the spear you took from the guard you just knocked out and throw it in the direction of the group of pegasai. The spear flies straight at them and, right as it reaches the center of the group, it suddenly explodes in a powerful blast of wind that knocks all of them out of the sky.

With that out of the way, you quickly hold up your spear towards your head right as you see another, unicorn guard swing his spear at you. In that instance, your inner Batman, who has been keeping you more than both your inner Doctor and King Arthur to avoid any kind of killing, gives you an idea.

"Fulmen augurium!" You shout as you charge your spear with a lightning enchantment before you turn around and smack the guard with your spear right in his side. Your spear practically glows blue with all the lightning coming out of it as the moment it makes contact with the guard's armor, it electrifies him and knocks him out right then and there.

Off in the distance, you notice another unicorn guard with his horn enchased in it's lime green aura. Without even wasting a second, it starts shooting pure blasts of concentrated magic at you.

"Dimitte me, ut intercluderent magicae," you say to yourself as you run right towards him and start swatting away his magical blasts as if they were rocks. The guard backs away in terror right as you reach him. Then, right as you get in front of him, you are so close you can see the look of terror in his face, you swing your spear upwards. However, he teleports away before you can hit him. You look around, expecting an attack to come from anywhere, but he doesn't appear again. Your inner Batman tells you that he must have run like a coward.

As you turn back around however, you notice five more guards, two unicorns and three pegasai charging right at you.

"Queruli fulgura!" You shout as you swing your lightning charged spear right at them as you hit them with a mixture of your Dovakiin inspired unrelenting force push and the lightning in your spear. Unrelenting lighting you call it. Anyway, before any of them can even reach you, they are all suddenly blown back by an unseen force as several bolts of lightning fly out from your spear and shock them all, taking them all down instantly.

"AAAAHHHH!!!!!" You suddenly hear a very familiar, boyish scream are you turn your head to look in the direction it came from. Surely enough, of all possible ponies or other things that you could see her, you see Spike. No, really, you see Spike running around and dodging between and under ponies as he tries to make his way through what is going on. Before he can move any further though, four guards suddenly show up and surround him

"Sh*t!" You shout to yourself as you jump up into the air, land on another pegasus who was coming down right towards you, then jump off of him above the crowd as you hear right towards Spike. ""Fac, corpus ut fortis, ut ex anancites!" you shout just as you land right where Spike is, right in the middle of the four guards just as five more who were following you show up.

Spike looks up with a mixture of surprise and confusion as you land right in front of him. You then immediately get low and cover his body with your own just as the four guards surrounding him and the five that were following you all come out and thrust their spears at him. Every single one of their spears hits you, but the words you spoke a second ago make your body as strong as diamond, and while they do pierce through your clothes, your skin by itself is strong enough to stop all of their attacks. You ignore this for a moment as you look down at Spike, who can't even believe let alone contemplate what he is seeing as he looks up at you. He can't even bring himself to say anything. You aren't even sure if he's even breathing.

"Concutite!" you shout as the area around your body seemingly explodes as diamond like shrapnel flies up from the earth around you and flies right into all of the guards, hitting their bodies, faces, anything not protected by their armor. They all double back as that happens, and as they do, you jump straight up into the air and, with your spear still charged with lightning, you knock out the four to your left with a single horizontal swing as you hit them all before you land, spin around with one swift motion, you swing again and take out the three to your left before you turn to your right again, only to see one recover and swing his spear at you. You hold up your spear to block it, and the moment his spear touches yours, the lightning in your spear conducts to his and shocks him unconscious just as the last one runs at you swinging his spear. You simply lean back a bit and kick him away before smacking him in the head with your lightning spear.

With him gone, you look up into the air and notice two more pegasus guards flying directly above you with their spears drawn towards you.

"Ventus!" you shout as you thrust your open palm in their direction and knock them out of the sky with a gust of wind. With all of them taken care of, you turn back towards Spike, who still looks like he's pretty much frozen in shock. "What the f*ck do you think you're doing here!?" you shout at him.

"Umm....... Uhh......" is all he can say by barely moving his mouth.

"Spike!" You shout at him. Somehow, that seems to resonate with him and he snaps out of his state of shock.

"I was waiting for you all at the train station but you never showed up, then Lyra and Bon Bon showed up and told me that something was happening in the center of town so I-" Before he could even finish that sentence, another unicorn guard suddenly shoots what looks like a blast of fire at you. You quickly move behind Spike and swing your spear as you hit the fireball away like a baseball right as the guard teleports in front of you and swings his spear down on you. You block it with your own spear, which shocks him, but as you do, you draw back your right fist.

"Ferrum et accipitris!" You shout as you charge your fist with fire and the raw power of awesomeness as you FALCON PUNCH that guard right in the face and send him flying. Again, Spike can't even believe what he's just seen, as the look on his face more than suggests when you turn back to look at him.

"Sorry about this Spike," you say to him as you run over to him, grab him by his not exactly small head and pick him up. "Fugere in directione bibliotheca." Right as those words leave your mouth, you throw Spike into the air above the crowd. You watch him go for a moment before his body seems to turn in mid air as he starts flying in the general direction of the library, screaming all the way.

With him gone, another guard suddenly runs up to you and swings another spear at you. Seriously, why do all of these guards have spears? You block it with your own before you kick him in the chest and knock him back before you spin your own spear around again and knock him upside the head. That done, you look back towards the stage again and see Risen Flagg. His eyes are still on you, and he's still smiling.

-Rainbow Dash/Fluttershy-

Rainbow Dash lay on the ground motionless as four guards surrounded her. Suddenly, from seemingly out of nowhere, Fluttershy jumped out from the crowd, landed on one of them and kicked his face down into the dirt before jumping off of him again and landing between them all and Rainbow Dash. One of the other guards thrust his spear at her, but she moved to the side and dodged it, with it barely scratching her hair. She then grabbed the guard's spear, punched the guard in the neck, then tore the spear from his hooves, then spin it around and smacked him right in the head with it. She then immediately used it to block the spear of the guard to her right as she pushed him back before headbutting him. With him momentarily stunned, she spun her spear around with her wings and whacked him with the blunt end of it before lifting the spear up with her wings to block the spear of the guard behind her. She then immediately jumped up on her hooves and bucked the guard right in the chest, sending him flying backwards.

Rainbow Dash barely registered any of what was going on as she tried to stand up. The whole world was spinning around her though, every time she tried to get back up, she just fell down again. After he last attempt, she just stared up into the sky and noticed several pegasi guards surrounding all of them, but then suddenly, something flew in the middle of them and exploded, sending all of them flying off in random directions.

Fluttershy looked up to see the four pegasai guards get taken out by the sudden wind explosion. As much as she couldn't explain why that happened, she didn't care. Suddenly, the sound of an eagle caught her ear, and she looked up, only to be surrounded by five more guards when she looked back down. She just stared at them angrily for a few moments.

Suddenly, from the sky, a pair of ten inch knives fell into the ground right between Fluttershy and the guards. Immediately, Fluttershy leapt forward, rolled over the knives, and grabbed them with her wings. Right as she got back onto her hooves, she got low and cut the guard in front of her right where his legs met his armor, making him fall to the ground. The guard to her left the swung his spear down at her, but she blocked it with one of her knives, and ran it along his spear right to his throat. When she got that close to him, he looked right into her eyes, and stopped moving. Then, Fluttershy cut the guard's hoof where he was holding the spear and made him drop it before she punched him twice with both her forehooves, making him fall to the ground.

She then spun the knives around in both of her wings and stepped back right as two more guards were coming up behind her as she stabbed them both right in their shoulder blades before stepping on both of their knees and taking them out. She then pulled her knives out of them and jumped up into the air right over the spear of the last guard as he swung horizontally at her, barely hitting her wings as she spun around in mid air and kicked him in the head.

Rainbow Dash, with the world still spinning in front of her, just closed her eyes. Maybe the world would make more sense again once that all went away.

-Applejack/Braeburn-

Applejack and Braeburn kept fighting off what guards ran into them as best they could. Had Applejack actually remembered to bring her lasso, she probably would have put it to some use by now. Instead, she ducked right under the swing of another guard before she stood back up and punched him right in the head before spinning around to buck him right in the chest again.

Braeburn had just knocked out another guard by smacking him in the head with the spear he took earlier. Right as the guard hit the ground however, suddenly a lime green aura enveloped Braeburn's spear as it seemed to tear itself from his hooves. Braeburn held on as best he could, but across from him, he could see another unicorn guard with his horn glowing. With his eyes on him, Braeburn let go of the spear and let the guard take it. With the unicorn guard momentarily distracted by this, Braeburn, with a speed that was close to Little Strongheart, ran right up to the unicorn guard and punched him right in the chin under his helmet before he clapped both his forehooves around the unicorn's horn, which practically knocked him out right there. To seal the deal, Braeburn quickly spun around and bucked him right in the chest again.

At that, Braeburn ran over to the spear that the unicorn guard almost took from him and kicked it up back into his hooves just as another guard was about to come up behind him. Braeburn quickly thrust the blunt end of his spear into the guard's head and knocked off his helmet before he spun around and knocked him out with the spear again.

Braeburn then looked back over at Applejack to see that she had somehow jumped onto the back of one of the guards and had punched his head down into the dirt. However, just behind her, she didn't see it because she was concentrating on the guard she was dealing with, was another unicorn guard charging his horn with magic again.

Instinctively, Braeburn ran over towards Applejack and jumped between her and the unicorn right as the guard shot a magic blast at her. Braeburn held up his spear as the magic blast from the guard hit it, but the force from the attack still knocked him back a bit into Applejack. They both rolled around on the ground for a few moments before they both landed on their stomachs, Braeburn let go of the spear he was holding onto in the process.

It took a moment for both of them to see straight again, but when they did, Braeburn saw one more guard approaching his cousin. Quickly, he got back up, ran up to the guard and punched him in the head once before kicking him in the legs before getting low and hitting him with a sweeping kick before grabbing one of his forehooves and snapping it with a loud crack.

Applejack got up and turned around to notice her cousin break the guard's hoof just before another guard showed up that he started fighting. The more she saw her cousin do these things, the more she couldn't help but think. Who was he? Where did he learn to do these things?

-Little Strongheart-

Little Strongheart frantically looked around for a way out of this chaos. Then, suddenly she saw the rainbow pony that she knew from the buffalo war in Appaloosa, Rainbow Dash, crash into a magically barrier surrounding the stage before falling to the ground like a bird. As that happened, more of the fighting seemed to be directed more towards the front of the stage.

As much as she wanted to rush there herself and help her friend, and hopefully find Braeburn, she looked back down at the still helpless body of Time Turner. After mentally wrestling with that for a few moments, she groaned loudly to herself as she picked up Time Turner, slung him over herself, and then looked back towards the thinning crowd at the back.

Without even sparing a second thought about it, she took off towards the back of the crowd, weaving in and out of, between and in between all manner of ponies and guards alike until she escaped the riot. With nowhere else to run to, she ran back towards Sweet Apple Acres with Time Turner in hoof.

-Pinkie Pie/Rarity-

Rarity looked over from the bodies of the two guards in front of her towards a sudden crashing sound that hit her ears. She immediately looked over towards the stage to see her friend Rainbow Dash crash into a newly formed magical barrier surrounding the stage. She practically backed away in horror at the sight. Her friend had practically sonic rainboomed into a magical barrier and fell like a bird hitting glass. The sight of it made her worry to no end. The sound of magic coming from behind her however, broke her attention away from that as she turned back around to notice two more guard ponies, both unicorns, charging both their horns to use some kind of spell on her.

Suddenly, before either one of them could do anything, magic or otherwise, one of the guards was seemingly knocked away by what seemed like a blast from a canon, followed by several streamers and confetti.

"Cuz I love to see you beam, beam, beam. Yes I do," Rarity suddenly hear a rather familiar, bubblegummy voice sing as she suddenly realized what hit the guard. "Tell me what more can I say," Pinkie Pie kept singing as she suddenly appeared next to the other unicorn guard. When he turned to look at her, she suddenly jumped up and with some kind of vertical spinning kick, kicked the guard up into the air. "To make you see." Pinkie Pie wasn't done there however, as she jumped up into the air with the guard, and somehow got above him. "That I do." Then, right when she was she was above the guard, she kicked him with both her rear hooves back down to the ground, where he practically made a small crater upon hitting it. "It makes me happy when you beam, beam, beam!!!!!" Pinkie Pie sang with gusto as she fell back down on top of the guard and slammed all four of her hooves right into his stomach, which made him cough up quite a bit of blood.

The sight of this practically made Rarity vomit, in fact she had to put a hoof to her mouth to keep herself from doing so. Now that she could see her pink, party friend, she noticed something. Her hair wasn't poofy anymore, it was straight, and the smile on her face was.... different than usual. Pinkie Pie didn't seem to notice her however, as she looked off in another direction and took off.

"Yes it always makes my dayayayayayayayayayayay!!!!!!" Pinkie Pie sang with even more gusto as she disappeared into teh crowd again. Rarity could only watch with a mixture of shock, horror, and immense confusion in her face the sight unfolded and then faded away in front of her.

"Um.... Miss......." she heard the voice of what was undoubtedly a guard say from behind her. At that, she just rolled her eyes and practically growled as all the insanity caught up with her as she, with one swift motion, spun around, punched the guard in the face, used her magic to pry his spear away from his hooves as he doubled back, and then spun the spear around with her magic and knocked the guard into the dirt.

The rage on her face was infinite, and it would not go away.

-Star Trek Away Team-

Kirk shot two guards in front of him with his phaser before it suddenly was enveloped by a lime green aura and ripped form his hand. Kirk then looked to his left to notice a unicorn guard smirking at him, his phaser floating next to him in the green aura. Angry, Kirk ran at the guard, who pointed his spear at Kirk and fired some kind of magical energy blast from it, but Kirk ducked to the side to dodge it and then ran right up to the guard.

Right as Kirk reached the guard, he grabbed the guard's spear with both his hooves, then pushed it forward right into the guard's face. The guard held strong though, and Kirk could barely hold on to it. Then he noticed the unicorn's horn. Instinctively, he reached up and punched it, which made the unicorn loose his concentration as he doubled back in pain and dropped both his spear and Kirk's phaser. Quickly, right as it hit the ground, Kirk dove for his phaser, picked it up, and shot the guard before he could do anything else. Right as the guard fell, two more guards appeared behind Kirk, but they were quickly shot by two more phaser blasts. Kirk looked in front of him to see McCoy standing there with his phaser drawn.

Off in the distance, another guard pony swung his spear at Spock, but Spoke grabbed it. Then, with his Vulcan strength, Spock brought his elbow down on the spear and snapped it in half before he grabbed on half of it and smacked the guard across the face with it. From behind him, another guard showed up, but Spock quickly turned around and blocked the guard's spear with the blunt end that he still held on to and shot him in the chest with his phaser.

Elsewhere, Zecora had parried another guard's spear attack as she forced the guard's spear down before she jumped up and hit the guard in the head with a spinning kick. The moment she landed she spun her spear around and smacked another guard in the head, knocking off his helmet before she stepped forward and punched him right in the face.

Another guard came at her from behind, but she quickly jumped up into the air, backflipped over the guard, and landed behind him, upon which she got low and swept into the guard's legs with her spear and knocked him to the ground. As she stood back up, she spun her spear again and thrust the blunt end of it down into the guard's stomach.

Then, right as another guard was about to come up to her left, she simply raised her left hoof and smacked the guard in the head as he practically ran right into her hoof.

"THIS WAS NO APPROVED BY THE COMMITTEE!!!!" Gordon Freebrony shouted not too far away as he smacked another guard's helmet off before bringing his crowbar back down and hitting him across the face with it. Right as the guard fell to the ground, another one came up behind him, but Gordon Freebrony quickly turned around and blocked the guard's spear with his crowbar. "I'M NOT TAKING ANY QUESTIONS!!!" Gordon shouted as he headbutted the pony right in the face before he forced the guard's spear down to the ground. He then swung his crowbar upwards and hit the guard with an uppercut, which knocked him up into the air a bit before falling onto his back.

Gordon Freebrony didn't stop there however, as he got on top of the guard and started mercilessly beating him in the face with his crowbar.

"NO COMMENT!" Gordon Freebrony shouted as he brought the crowbar down on the guard's skull. "NO COMMENT!!" he shouted as he brought the crowbar down again. "NO COMME-" Before he could even finish that, another spear came out from nowhere and hit Gordon Freebrony in the back of the head, knocking him out cold as he fell to the side of the guard's body and dropped his crowbar.

As the cut off words hit Zecora's ears, she turned to Gordon Freebrony's direction and saw him fall to the earth. Time almost seemed to slow for her.

"FREEBRONY!!!" She shouted as she spun her spear around and threw it at the guard that hit Gordon. The guard looked up too late as the spear hit him right in the side of his helmet and knocked him backwards as his helmet came off. Zecora then ran right up to the guard and belted him right in the side and knocked him away from her. With him out of the way, she turned around and got down right on top of the Gordon Freebrony. She felt him for a pulse, she found one, but before she could do anything else, she felt a shadow loom over her as she looked down and saw Gordon's crowbar.

Instinctively, Zecora grabbed the crowbar as she held it up and blocked the oncoming spear from another guard before she stood back up, smacked the guard in her face with her free hoof before she spun Gordon's crowbar around and knocked the guard in the head with it, knocking him out cold.

Then, as the guard's body hit the floor, several more showed up and surrounded her. Instinctively, Zecora moved back and threw a protective hoof around Gordon while she swung the crowbar at the oncoming guards.

"BACK!!" She shouted at them as she swung the crowbar around. "BACK YOU COWARDLY PACK!!! BACK I SAY!!!" Zecora shouted at them. Strangely enough, they seemed to do what she said, as she did back away a few paces as she swung the crowbar around.

As she was doing that however, she didn't notice it at first, but what seemed like balls of light started to surround both her and Gordon Freebrony's body a they started spinning around her. When she finally did notice it however, she looked down to notice that the number of lights had increased until within the span of a few moments, the lights were completely surrounding both her and Gordon before there was so much light that she couldn't see out of it.

Elsewhere, Captain Kirk, Spock, and McCoy were all experiencing a similar thing as lights surrounded all of their bodies. The guards surrounding all of them could only watch in immense confusion as the light surrounded them. It wasn't so bright that they had to look away, but it was distracting. Then, after a few moments, when the lights cleared, they were gone.

Kirk, Spock, McCoy, Gordon Freebrony, and Zecora were all gone without any trace of them ever being there as they were all beamed back up to the Enterprise.

-Jason-

well first off, Jason needs to limit casualties by turning the spears to dust or rusting them to uselessness. Anyways, fuck the spears, you have your knife right? But before we get down to Business (to defeat the Huns), try projecting a giant avatar to scare off everyone, if not, try mass paralysis, if not, see if you can get a want it need it spell (don't forget to ask Rarity), if not, get RD to get you a cloud and turn it into tear gas. if not, improvise a distraction. If not, time to practice control of copied knifes and wholesale slaughter, though I have a feeling that's where he wants this to go... Also check that Risen wasn't just fucking around when he shot Derpy, or is a really bad shot, or failed to adjust the fatal T for ponies. People have survived worse than a single bullet to the head before, especially if magical healing is involved. Jason really needs to avoid the wholesale slaughter of an army of guards though. Check to see if there are any meteors in orbit, if not, pull one in, you need to have one in case to really need to just say "fuck you" to someone in less words.

You keep your eyes on Risen Flagg for what seems like several minutes. The longer you look at him, the more you slowly realize. He is enjoying this. This is exactly what he wanted. You can't completely piece it together yet, but somehow... this... the riot, all of this... he wanted this.

You don't get another moment's chance to think about it before you have to lean back to dodge the magical blast from another unicorn pony to your left and then immediately hold your spear up to your right to block the oncoming attack of another guard. You kick the guard away right as the lightning from your spear shocks him and take a few steps back to see that you are completely surrounded by eight guards on the ground, five earth ponies and three unicorns, and four more guards in the air above you.

You look around at all of them, ready in case any one of them decides to attack, as you know they will. As you do you spot one of the unicorns. It's the same one that teleported away from you earlier. Even though all these guards seem alike to you, somehow, you know it's him.

As you look around at all of them, you also look behind them too and watch all of the other ponies fighting. All of the chaos that is happening around you. Ponies, guards and citizens alike are getting hurt left, right, above, below, everywhere. All three of the characters you are channeling scream at you that you have to end this now, and honestly, you agree with them.

Everything that you've been doing up to this point, it hasn't solved anything, this riot is still going on, and more ponies are getting hurt. Somehow, you need to get them all away from here, out of the center of town.

Your mind flashes back to a moment back home when you watched some SWAT movie, you can't remember which one, probably Hot Fuzz or something like that, it doesn't matter now, but one thing about it sticks with you, and at that instant, you get an idea.

Right as all of the guards surrounding you drop all pretense and charge you, you get low and touch the ground with your left hand.

"Vestibulum scindet!" You shout, and as soon as those words leave your mouth, a massive cloud of tear gas bursts forth from your hand and starts spreading all around you. The surrounding guards back away a bit in surprise as a few of them drop their spears and start grabbing their eyes. The pegasai guards in the sky just drop where they are and hit the ground around you.

As expected, the tear gas cloud slowly starts enveloping the whole center of town as all ponies, citizens of Ponyville and guards alike back away and try to run from it. Step one: Get ponies away from here. Accomplished. Thankfully the tear gas doesn't also affect you. Now there is only one other thing you have to do.

The unicorn guard that teleported away from you before, he just keeps screaming in pain as he backs away blind, as both his forehooves are covering his eyes.

Without even giving him the chance to run or teleport away again, you run right up to him, grab him by his neck with your left hand, and with strength you didn't even have before you got these powers, you lift him up off the ground with just your one arm.

"Gaudete, quia per oppositum," you say to the guard, who is too busy screaming in pain because the gas to understand what you even said to him. Right as those words leave your mouth, you spin around, swinging the unicorn guard around with you, and then throw the unicorn guard right at the stage.

As you expected, the unicorn guard hits the magical barrier surrounding the stage, but when he does, instead it being stopped by it, the guard flies right through the barrier and shatters it like glass. Trixie, and the few guards on the inside all cover their faces as mixed looks of shock cover their faces as they can't believe what just happened.

Step 2: Get the barrier out of the way, accomplished.

With that out of your way, there is only one last thing to do.

JASON MORGAN KICKS ASS THATS WHAT HAPPENS WOOOOOTTT!!!!

FOR DERPY! FOR BEST PONY! KICK ASS EVERYPONY, AND CHEW THE GUM VIGORIOUSLY! RIP THOSE WHO STAND AGAINST US! REVENGEANCE IS AT HAND, WITH A VENGEANCE!

The Red… the Red… FUCK THE RED! FUCK THEM ALL! I WILL HANG THEM BY THEIR FUCKING GENITALIA FROM THE GOD-DAMNED MOON! NONE OF THEM WILL SURVIVE! I WILL PAINT THE CAESAR WITH THEIR BLOOD! THE ENTIRE FLEET SHALL BEAR A NEW COAT OF SCARLET WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON THEM! I WILL ERASE ALL OF THEM, DOWN TO THE VERY LAST STRAND OF D! N! A!

GRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH![ C'MON, NYARLATHOTEP! WHAT'RE YA WAITING FOR? C'MON! I'LL TAKE YOU ON! NAME THE TIME! NAME THE PLACE! MAYBE WE'LL EVEN ADD IN DAEDALTHEUS, TOO! HELL, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU FUCKERS! SEND AN ENTIRE GODDAMN ARMY AT ME, I'LL EAT EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YA! C'MON, C'MON, C'MON! FIGHT ME, COWARD! FAAAAAAAAACCCCCEEEEE MEEEEEEEEEEEE, DAEDALTHEUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!

im not suggesting something, i just want to say, i hope the ponyvillians kill all those fucking guards

I just thought this one thing to happen to RISEN MUTHA FU***** FLAG I WANT HIS LITTLE BI*** MOUTH FUTA MOUTH FUC*** THEN HAVE HIS INTESTINES RIPPED OUT OF HIS ASSHOLE IN THE SLOWEST AND MOST PAINFUL WAY POSSIBLE WHILE CELESTIA AND LUNA MAKE HIM JASON'S AND TIME TURNER'S BI*** THEN HAVE HIM DRINK AND EAT HIS OWN FECES FOR BREAKFAST, LUNCH, AND DINNED :pinkiecrazy:FOREVER THEN HE CAN BE GRANTED THE PERMISSION TO GO TO HELL. That seems fair right?

Az. Fluzzerzzhassserfah! DAH!? FLAGHAZEEHAVAAHZEEEJAVEE! REEB! ZAHVAAARGHLOJAMBREEEND!? WAZAVAVA! WAZAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVA! WAAH! WAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

... DERPY. DERPY. DIED. DERPY. DIED. DERPY. DIED. DERPY. DIED. DERPYDIED. DERPYDIED! DERPYDIED! DIED! DERPY! DERPY IS NOT ALIVE! NOT LIVING. DEAD! VAZEVUVUVUVU! I DON'T. I DON'T KNOW. I CAN'T WORDS! AHHHH! DERPY! WEUGHEUGEEEEEEH! MEEEEEEEEEEEEH!

I... I NEED TIME. WORDS LATER.

Become the wrath of Ponyville, and show them...
Show them how much we love Derpy.

Flagg, you fucking bastard, you are going to pay... Oh yeah, somepony point out that this is not how the judicial system works, and Flagg is now guilty of at least one count of premeditated murder in the first degree.

The events of earlier pay back through your head again as you replay the moment that Risen Flagg shot Derpy. With that in your head, you run towards the stage as fast as you can, jump up into the air, land on one of the guard ponies in front of the stage, and then jump off of him out of the cloud of tear gas as you fly several feet into the air again and fall towards the center of the stage, right in where Risen Flagg is.

Time almost literally seems to slow to a crawl for you as you look directly into his eyes again and see that he is still smiling at you. It was almost like he expected this. As you look into his eyes, the moment he shot Derpy replays in your head again as you raise your lightning enchanted spear, the lightning in it growing in ferocity as sparks fly out from it.

Out of the corner of your eye you notice Trixie watching you with a look of horror on her face, but you don't care about her. You don't care about what anyone things of this motherf*cker. HE WILL PAY FOR WHAT HE DID TO DERPY!!!

Then, right as you reach Risen Flagg, you bring the spear down, right on him.

The moment the blade of your spear gets within an inch of his face though, it suddenly stops. No, really, it just stops. It wasn't like a magical barrier kind of stop where something blocked it, it literally just stopped.

You look at Risen Flagg, he's not moving, but then you notice another hoof holding the spear, a white hoof. You follow the hoof and find yourself staring into the eyes of Joseph Curwen, Risen Flagg's butler.

The deadpan, emotionless expression on his face is still there, and he doesn't even seem to flinch despite the fact that there are now several thousand volts of lightning traveling through him. In fact, the lightning doesn't even seem to be affecting him at all.

Before your mind can even processes that any further than it already has though, you don't even see him move, but the next thing you know, you suddenly feel yourself get hit in the chest by something as you go flying backwards.

After that, everything went black.

End of Part 1

Authors note:

Hey everyone, what's up. Wow, it sure feels like we've come a long way with his haven't we, and now it only seems like things are about to get even more intense from here on out. Now, as you can probably see, this is one of the longest chapters I've ever done and probably one of the most intense fights I've ever written for this story. So with that in mind, this seems like a good spot to call an end to the first act of this story and take a little break.

Yes, that's right. I'm going to be taking a bit of hiatus with this story for a while now that this is out. Don't worry, I'm not leaving this story, far from that. I'm not even going to stop writing. It's just that there are other things I want to work on, and this story does take up a lot of my time, so I feel as if with the closing of part one, now is as good a time as any to take a quick break and focus on those things for a little bit.

In fact, here is a list of things I plan on working on.

Death Battle Equestria (I'm still working on that with KenSES64. The next battle with be out shortly by the way.)

The next chapter of Dimensional Battle Royale

A one-shot idea that I came up with a few days ago that I really want to see done.

Other projects that have nothing to do with ponies.

So yeah, as I said, I'm gonna take a bit of a hiatus with this story to work on those things, and then when they're all done. I'm going to come back full force. So don't you worry. I'm not going anywhere. With the way you guys treat me. I will never leave you.

Seriously, you are all just that awesome. Thank you all so much for your support.

A Preview Of What's To Come

You all said you wanted it, well now you are going to get your chance.

Next Time on Wake up. See this. What do?

The Side Story Characters vs The Plush

I hope you all are ready.

Author's Note

status: edited

Guess What

Author's Note

status: unedited

The Crossroads Café (written by DaedaltheusXIV, BrownDog77, and RazortheAwesome)

-Somewhere-

In what was unmistakably the master bedroom of a rather nicely put together log cabin, there was a stirring. The bedroom itself looked.... rather INCREDIBLY worse for wear. The bed was unmade, various... things, littered the floor, and used clothes and In N' Out Burger wrappers were everywhere. On the bed, what shelves there were, and especially the desk, there were In N' Out Burger wrappers everywhere. Whoever lived her must have really loved In N' Out Burger, much like anyone with half a brain cell.

Suddenly, from somewhere within the room, an incredibly loud beeping noise went off. Exactly where in the room this loud beeping noise was coming was unknown. However, underneath the pile of In N' Out Burger bags on the nightstand next to the bed, some kind of blue light was flashing through the bag. Exactly what kind of alarm clock it was that it could screech that loudly under all that stuff stacked on the nightstand was something of a miracle in of itself, but the fact that the fact that all the stuff stacked on top of it kept shaking every time it screeched had to make one wander just how loud actually was.

Still, no matter how loudly the alarm from the buried clock screeched, nothing other than the pile of stuff on top of it moved. Eventually, after five straight minutes of it screeching, it suddenly exploded, and the only thing that let anyone know that it was even there in the first place were the bits of smoke that started seeping through the pile of clothes and In N' Out Burger bags on top of it, one of which actually caught fire for a little bit, but then quickly went out after a few seconds.

Immediately after that happened, underneath another pile of clothes that reached all the way up to the ceiling, a brown doggie paw suddenly reached out and started feeling around for something. It felt left, right, and even on top of the pile of clothes, but it just couldn't find what it was looking for. It then felt around slightly farther than it had before and found what it was looking for, a pair of sunglasses.

The doggie paw didn't even waste an instant as it picked up the sunglasses, which was kind of amazing given the fact that it didn't have any opposable thumbs, and pulled them into the ginormous pile of clothing. After a few minutes of rustling, the ginormous pile of clothes suddenly collapsed and fell ALL OVER THE GOD DAMNED FLOOR as the owner of the doggie paw that reached for said sunglasses stood up, revealing itself to be a brown Pit Bull/Shar Pei mix wearing sunglasses.

The brown dog let out a rather loud, rather horrifying sounding yawn as he stood up from his impromptu bed. After the sound that could only have been made from a beast from the deepest pits of the unthinkable ended, he shook his head a bit, as dogs were want to do, followed by the rest of his body all the way down to his tail. Miraculously, the sunglasses stayed on his face the whole time.

After that, he walked over the clothes and other things that were on the floor over towards the only desk in the room, his desk, and turned on his laptop. Immediately after pushing the button, the screen turned on and it made that ding noise it always did.

"Gah this is TAKING TOO LONG!" the brown dog impatiently shouted as he slammed his paw on the desk, which made the computer instantly boot up at a speed that processors could only dream of. "There we go." With that, the brown dog logged on to Fimfiction.net and decided to check in on the progress of the story. That being, the story you are reading right now. So effectively, he is checking in on himself in a way.

-And now for the quickest recap ever from your favorite author, Razortheawesome-

Risen Flagg came to Ponyville, Jason Morgan, that being you the readers, met him at a party that Pinkie Pie threw for you, then the next day, Risen Flagg held and impromptu trial for Derpy Hooves, shot her in the head with a 9mm pistol, then there was a riot, everyone and everypony fight in it, and it ended with Jason getting knocked out by Risen Flagg's butler Joseph Curwen. And that's pretty much it.

Also in the side story BRP and Bronze Statue fought the insane Swimming Dalek and got the Dalek Flagship reactivated, but BRP was gravely injured during the fight and was taken to the med bay on The Enterprise when they beamed him and Bronze Statue back. Also Gordon Freebrony and the away team were involved in the riot mentioned in the last paragraph and were also beamed back up to the ship while everypony was distracted. Also Gordon Freebrony was knocked out in the riot. Oh, and the only two female hackers, Slim and Jim, turned out to be lesbians. So yeah, there is that.

-And now back to the brown dog-

"Huh," the brown dog said to no one in particular as he read about Derpy being shot. In all honesty, he somehow knew that would happen ever since Queen Chrysalis, disguised as Derpy, detonated a nuclear warhead in a testing facility many, many, MANY chapters back (Yeah, remember, that happened too). However, while most were upset at the death of their favorite background pony, the brown dog didn't feel that way, at least not as much as the rest of them. For where they saw sadness, he saw purpose. "Didn’t expect him to do that so soon, but I f***ing called it...well, it seems my job just became priority numero uno." At that, the brown dog touched the side of his sunglasses with his paw. "Cortana! Wake up! Revenge is at hand!"

At that, the spitting image of the artificial intelligence Cortana suddenly appeared on the HUD display that also suddenly appeared in his glasses. She didn't seem all that pleased to see him.

"I don’t sleep, Brown Dog, you know that," she said to him as if she had just woken up and didn't want to be there.

"I know, I just like messing with you," The brown dog said with a rather sinister, yet silly smile. Cortana could only sigh in response.

"I suppose this is about what happened in that stupid pony fan fiction you’ve been reading and on occasion traveling into?" Cortana said to him.

"You’re damn right it is!" The brown dog shouted back at her. "A classic example of a shock and awe death has occurred, and now it is my sworn duty to troll those responsible! And don’t let Razor hear you call the story stupid, the truth would make him cry.

"Actually it wouldn't."

"Da f***?"

"Nothing, just get back to the story."

"Sworn Duty....." Cortana said to the brown dog after a rather lengthy pause. "Really?"

"OF COURSE! RazortheAwesome himself gave me permission to go nuts on everyone and everything as I saw fit!" The brown dog said with authority.

"Did he really?" Cortana had to ask.

"Well he didn't use those words exactly," The brown dog said with a shrug. "But he did strongly imply it, and by strongly I mean very."

"I was there last night too you know," Cortana retorted to him. "And I saw that whole conversation. I don’t know how sincere he was. He was pretty f***ed up just like you were. Also, it wasn’t really smart admitting to your arson crimes."

"Hey I said I was sorry, so everything’s alright. But enough about good days gone by, now is the time to act!" The brown dog said as he closed down Fimfiction and started pulling up more important things.

"I thought you didn’t care about stuff like this?" Cortana had to ask him as she unwillingly helped him pull up all of the important things he needed right now.

"I don’t, in the long run it was just a Derpy that died, one of many and not even the true one. Just a plot point in this story." The brown dog said.

"Then why are you angry?" Cortana had to ask him, though given her past experiences with the brown dog, she wasn't at all expecting a straight answer.

"I’m not angry, I’m just passionate! Besides it’s the principle of the matter I suppose. So now we must lock on the enemy." the brown dog said as he pulled up google maps.

"And I don’t suppose your means of attack would include say… leading an elite team of strike commandos armed to the teeth on a raid of the enemy, or some kind of tactical nuclear strike?" Cortana asked as she already started running through all the possible ways that this could go down, which she ultimately knew would be useless anyway since it was the brown dog she was talking to, but old habits die hard really.

"No, of course not, that’s too sensible. The art of trolling is much more sporadic and random. Why go for the obvious life decisions when you can f*** with someone’s head for the lol’s? Quit being stupid with your credible options Cortana." The brown dog said with another weird smile, which caused Cortana to sigh at the now useless processor power she just used.

"As usual, your psychotic nature astounds me," she just had to say.

"SANITY IS FOR THE WEAK!"

"Your opinion," Cortana said. "So what’s the plan?"

"First, we find the target. Second, we go from there. Third, there is no third. Fourth, profit." the brown dog said.

"Right..." Cortana said as she felt herself get an aneurysm. Which was impressive considering she was an AI. "So who’s the target? Risen Flagg and the Plush?

"Nah, at least not right now. Can’t interfere with the main story too much, but I’ll get to them eventually. No, first we go straight to the top."

"Attacking the Big Boss this early? You sure?" Cortana said, now sounding kind of worried.

"Sure, it’ll be funny."

"Isn't that kind of..... stupid?" Cortana just had to ask.

"What!? No. Oh gods no. Whatever gave you that idea?" The brown dog replied with a completely straight face. Cortana just pretended that he didn't say that.

"Okay.... Sp how exactly are we going to find this cautious, sneaky, and lets not forget, incredibly dangerous individual?"

"My “Database” duh…" the brown dog replied while emphasizing the quotation marks.

"That’s not really an accurate term for it," Cortana said while rolling her eyes.

"No, no it is not…" The brown dog said.

"Okay then…" Cortana said while flickering a bit due to her aneurysm from earlier. "From what you and Razor have said about him, this guy... Daedaltheus the fourteenth, is some sort of all powerful god like you and Razor. With that in mind it may take some time to find him. Given his abilities, it's entirely possible he can make himself invisible to you just with a thought, it might be impossible to find him."

(Warning: The following scene may not actually be taking place. It's entirely possible that the words you are about to read are not actually on the page but are just the product of your imagination.)

-Meanwhile, in a bunker fifteen miles beneath the surface of the earth in another, unknown universe-

“Daedaltheus,” Roseluck began, “If we are going to lunch then how come when we stepped through the portal we entered the Bunker?”

“You see, Roseluck,” he replied, “I have to deposit something into The Vault.” he finished, pulling out a pocket watch, similar to his own but its engraving appeared markedly different, as through the inscription on the face were in some other language entirely.

“Oh, wait, what vault?” Roseluck asked as the two approached a door located at the back of same dark room she repeatedly saw on her many visits to the Bunker, whether they were delivering his mail or merely telling him to take better care of his roses. The door set into to the black concrete walls of the room and was clearly marked ‘closet’ in white letters, while a single red light shined above the door but this time, the red light flashed green, blinking at first until it finally became a steady shining emerald color. Daedaltheus turned the doorknob and enter into what appeared to be a long corridor leading towards a brightly illuminated space at the very end of it. After a minute, the two emerged on a tram platform where a single tram car with four seats waited for the pair on a large monorail track disappearing into the sodium bulb lit tunnel.

“Again, what?” Roseluck stammered as she entered the car, the hydraulic controlled doors sliding shut behind her and no sooner did she take a seat did the tramcar move forward into the darkness. The car accelerated ever steadily until a single monotone female voice came over the loud speak mounted above the automated control box.

“Estimated time of arrival to the Dome, approximately five minutes,” the voice stated before a quick jolt of static signaled the termination of the announcement.

“Roseluck, I have to be completely honest with you when I state that I have not been completely honest with you about everything that happens within the Bunker, let alone my involvement with the organization called R.E.D.,” he began as Roseluck paid full attention, only occasionally looking out the window as the yellow specks of light whizzed by at nearly blinding speeds. “The Bunker is actually more or less, the Bunker Complex, an interconnected series of facilities and rooms all located underneath the desert."

“How far down are we?” Roseluck asked.

“Approximately twelve miles at this point, though the actual Dome itself is about eleven and one-half miles under the ground,” he added before withdrawing a cigar and lighting it. “You see, R.E.D. is a vast inter-dimensional organization and I am but one of many directors of substations located across their vast inter-dimensional network. This is officially Division 42 Headquarters, also known as The Vault where the various members of our organization deposit the artifacts they come across.”

“So, it’s like that Warehouse 13 show you showed me that one time.”

“Sort of, but the artifacts range from being priceless paintings and jewelry to actual weapons or surviving remnants of history.”

“So that’s why you have a fragment of the KT Boundary asteroid framed on your wall.”

“In many ways, yes,” he stated as the tram slowed down and after several more seconds came to a complete stop at a much more elaborate station than the one the pair departed from, for this station possessed locations for various trams of varying sizes and possessed elaborate iron work the embellished the lamp fixtures. The pair walked towards a large circular door where upon two bipedal robots with 55 caliber anti-tank rifle guns mounted to the arms approached those, walking with a loud thudding sound.

“Please show you ID, you have twenty seconds to comply,” the two stated prompting Daedaltheus to withdraw a single ID card and explaining in a simple motion that the pony was with him. The two robots moved aside and let the pair through the door where a golf cart like vehicle waited for them, a longhaired driver sat behind the wheel wearing a blue suit.

“Ah, guten morgen, commandant,” she said with a rather sharp toothed smile and a pair of simple wire frame glasses above it on her sharp nose. “Und who ist this with you, commandant?” she asked, pointing to Roseluck as the vehicle pulled away.

“I could ask you the same thing,” Roseluck rather bitterly said as the three sped off down the rather expansive and overly tall corridor.

“Roseluck, this is Agent Rip Van Winkle, a special member of the R.E.D. Division 42 and is a part of a very special squad within this division.”

“Oh really?”

“Yah,” Rip Van Winkle stated passing by several workers carrying blowtorches and other welding equipment.

“And when were you going to...” she drifted off as the vehicle passed a rather large humanoid looking mecha with a yellow visor and a light blue armor with a single rotary fan located at its heart. “Is...is that Gypsy Danger?”

“Yes, or rather a version of Gypsy Danger,” Daedaltheus said. “I’ve made many improvements to the overall design and weapons load out over the past several years.” He continued as they passed by another mecha and then another, and yet another all lined up being worked on. “You see, we have several, though many have their pilots,” he added, “Like that one, the Big O is piloted by Roger Smith, a freelance negotiator for R.E.D. That one is called EVA Unit 2, and is piloted by one of our younger members, Miss Asuka Souryo Langley, and a few minor ones that have been acquired for basic use. That one is Wing Zero, and belongs to Razor, who let’s us keep a hold of it and pays a rather nice sum for her upkeep and maintenance.”

“Do you ever pilot it?” Roseluck asked.

“No, he is the only one that can, and besides, I would kill myself than pilot Wing Zero.”

"Does that mean that Razor is a member of R.E.D. too?" Roseluck asked.

"Oh christ no," Daedaltheus responded as the vehicle passed by another mecha, this one possessing a large pair of angular sunglasses on its chest over a large metal grin and oddly enough, a head that looked like that of a samurai. However, Roseluck noticed that it was missing its right arm and possessed several dozen fractures and bizarre orange colored streaks about it that seemed to drift and fade into reds as Daedaltheus passed by. She saw additionally, that carved into its left leg was an inscription into the metal reading Never Forgive, Never Forget.

The vehicle came to a stop at another circular door, over which there hung a large sign reading Enter the Righteous Such that No Sword May be Spared to Punish the Indignant. The doors opened to reveal a large, spherical room lined with dozens of descending levels with hundreds of monitors and staff, furiously typing away and filling out reports, while others monitored the multiverse. Displayed on the spherical central monitor were the side story characters of Wake Up. See This. What Do? and their precise location and movements, as well as video and audio recordings.

“Welcome to the Dome,” Daedaltheus said walking down a set of stairs as the star struck Roseluck followed closely behind, watching every glowing monitor and human and non-human workers rush by. All at once a cream yellow pegasus with a turquoise mane and tail with three water droplets for a Cutie Mark descended next to Daedaltheus and trotted alongside him.

“Oh thank the Elder Gods you made it, there’s been a real shit show developing,” she stated as a curious Roseluck caught only to see that she recognized the pony.

“Raindrops!” Roseluck shouted, causing the pony to turn her head in curiosity.

“Do I know you?” Raindrops replied.

“This is a different Raindrops from a different Equestria in another universe,” Daedaltheus explained as he reached the bottom of the stairs, entering a hallway before entering at last the elevator to the vault.

“Oh, never mind then,” Roseluck said in a deflated manner.

“It’s fine,” Raindrops replied, “but things are going awry everywhere, the Ice King is furious over his impending trial...”

“That’s Gunter’s department.”

“And then there’s this whole thing involving the Kaiju breeding program in universe three billion and six...”

“Again, not an issue,” Daedaltheus replied as the elevator continued to descend.

“There’s the SCP Foundation’s lease that’s due in a few months...”

“They’ll pay on time, as usual.”

“And we found a Time Lord ship in orbit on the dark side of the Moon.”

“Things like that happen all of the time,” Daedaltheus stated coldly, as he stepped from the elevator towards a large Vault door.

“Yes, but this one stated that he came seeking political asylum fleeing from the Terran Empire,” Raindrops finished. Daedaltheus stopped in his tracks and turned to look Raindrops in the eyes.

“He’s a survivor from the Great War...” Daedaltheus breathed through his teeth. “Yes.... “His name, rank and intent.”

“What?”

“GIVE THEM TO ME!” Daedaltheus shrieked, the walls of the surrounding area shaking and some dust falling from the ceiling.

“He’s the Minister of Defense,” Raindrops reported, “and says that he served under Rassilon directly.”

“Bring him down and leave us,” Daedaltheus said and with that, Raindrops ran off to the elevator and went back up to the Dome. “Sorry about that,” Daedaltheus said to Roseluck, “a little business as usual around here, you know.” Roseluck cocked her head and decided that at this moment, it was best not to ask questions nor expect any feasible answers. “Right, now about this watch,” he said, walking to the Vault door and entering several numbers into the key pad, which opened to reveal a second door with a camera mounted into it.

“Good morning, Daedaltheus,” a female voice said after which a hologram of an older woman with pale skin wearing a white suit and a red ascot appeared, her dark hair appearing slightly grey.

“GLaDOS?” Roseluck said.

“Oh, hello,” the hologram waved before resuming looking at Daedaltheus, “another treasure for deposit.”

“Yes,” he replied, holding aloft the watch, “just this one for today.” The hologram disappeared and the door swung open to reveal shelf upon shelf and row upon row of numbered and labeled artifacts.

“Holy s***,” Roseluck breathed stepping through the door behind Daedaltheus.

“Each artifact has been collected and categorized by Division 42 while under my direction,” he said, walking past a wooden box that Roseluck seemed to be drawn to. He walked over to it and opened the lid, revealing six jewels each a different color placed neatly inside of black felt. “Items 2-7, the Infinity Stones,” and reaching for another box and withdrawing a golden gauntlet from within it, “and item 8, the Infinity Gauntlet with Thanos’s severed hand at number 9,” he finished putting the items back. “Rather nasty fellow, Thanos wiped out the entire galaxy and damn near killed all of the Avengers, but he wasn’t expecting someone to lop it off and jump worlds,” he smiled picking up the pace. After a few minutes, he reached a desk with tags and a few cleaning instruments. He wrapped the watch up and placed it in a plexglass case with the tag number 652 and the words Fob Watch beneath it. He then grabbed a rag from the desk and began to polish something on his hand, something that Roseluck never paid much attention to before: his white metal ring. After a few minutes, he turned to her and smiled, “ready for breakfast?” At which point the two departed.

Upon reaching the Dome, Daedaltheus noticed a commotion and at the center of it, a man wearing Time Lord robes and the official uniform of the court of Rassilon. He stood there arguing with a rather pissed off Haruhara Haruko and an equally perturbed Raindrops who at the moment carried Daedaltheus’ coffee on her right wing. Roseluck looked up at Daedaltheus who seethed with hatred as though something about the man in the alien clothing disturbed Daedaltheus, almost down to his very core, but she could not figure out what. She remembered something he said once, something about not trusting time travelers, especially those that travel in tiny boxes, and something more about some kind of Great War of Imperials and Lords.

“I demand to speak to the man in charge,” he shouted.

“Minister of Defense, Tavus,” Daedaltheus stated walking towards the Time Lord.

“Oh thank you, someone who actually...” he turned to face Daedaltheus when all of the color left his face. “Oh God, not you, not the...” he stopped the moment Daedaltheus shoved his hands through his chest and pulled out both of his hearts and watched the Time Lord bleed out on the floor of the Dome.

“Good to see that you at least remembered the Great Nightmare when you see him,” Daedaltheus seethed, squeezing the hearts in his hands until the two organs became paste. “So how about breakfast, Roseluck?” he smiled turning to her both hands caked in blood.

'Yep, it’s gonna be one of those days,' Roseluck thought to herself as they finally, following a thorough hand scrubbing, exited through a red door frame.

(End of any scenes that may not actually be happening. Everything that happens from here on out is actually happening. You have my assurance that it is. Trust me, I am still the author of this story at the end of the day. - RazortheAwesome)

-Somewhere-

Suddenly, from the brown dog's computer, the google maps page that he had up started beeping like mad as it zoomed in on a rather specific location which seemed to go.... through the earth. Actually, that wasn't accurate, it seemed to cycle through several different earths before it found what it was looking for. All the while, a telephone like beeping kept emanating from the brown dog's sunglasses.

"You were saying?" the brown dog said to Cortana with the same silly dog like smirk he gave her before. Again, Cortana could only sigh and roll her eyes at that.

"Patching you through," she said as she connected the incomming call to the brown dog's sunglasses, which also were a fully functioning smartphone.... that hooked up to facebook and twitter too.

"Talk to me you abomination of nature," the brown dog said to the abomination of nature on the other end of the line.

"They…are…heading…to…a…diner…" the abominable voice said into the browndog's sunglasses, which somehow only he could hear, just like a real phone.

"Damn you guys talk slow. I diner you say?" the brown dog said as a rather deviously evil smile crept across his face.

-Meanwhile, at the Crossroads Café and Sandwich Delicatessen,

For those of you in the audience not in the know, the Crossroads Café sits on the literal crossroads of literally every fictional universe in existence as well as those have yet to exist, and it just so happens to sell the best damned sandwiches in existence. The coffee is nonpareil and you can get your sandwich free any day of the week, however, there exists one tiny catch in order to receive your sandwich, chips and drink for free.

This is a brief tale of one of those times wherein your beloved author, RazortheAwesome, and your sworn enemy, and according to some of you, evil wizard, or Satan, DaedaltheusXIV, happened to meet at the Crossroads Café.

Razor sat in a booth waiting for company to arrive, while Pinkie Pie danced around the jukebox, waiting to pick the next song to play, much to the discouragement of Razor. Razor wore his traditional anarchy shirt and stared blankly out the window into the parking lot, wondering just why in the name of every god he knew why he was friends with who was in his eyes, the absolute WORST pony in existence. Or at least the most annoying one. Maybe it was because she was the only character who was aware of his existence since he started writing this story, that being the story YOU are reading right now, but that couldn't be it. He'd met many characters that could break the fourth wall and have conversations with the author, hell, he'd even met Deadpool once or twice, but even he wasn't nearly as annoying as the pink pony that was shaking her rump over by the jukebox even though it wasn't her turn yet. At least with Deadpool when he annoyed him too much he could rip his tongue out and be out of there before he even had to time to grow it back, but Pinkie here was different. He couldn't kill her because doing so would implode the fabric of the story since she was necessary for it and he couldn't get rid of her because for some reason she was always able to follow him and talk to him even when he didn't want her to.

Back with Pinkie however, after that last song ended, her turn to pick the next song finally came and the pink mare put her two bits into the machine and selected a single song from within the jukebox’s infinite library of songs to choose from. It was of course, able to take her bits since because this unique café sat on the crossroads of every universe, it of course took every kind of currency. Provided it was enough of course.

"Boom boom acka lacka boom,

Boom boom acka lacka lacka boom,

Boom boom acka lacka lacka boom,

Boom boom acka lacka lacka boom,"

Razor turned back to look at the jukebox, and by extension the pink party pony as the words to that song hit his ears. Said party pony began to shake her rump in the air and start to walk that familiar way, the same way he made the others dance in that chapter long ago.

As Pinkie Pie walked the dinosaur back to their table, Razor rested his converse shoed feet on the chair across him, waiting ever so patiently for company to arrive as he solemnly glanced occasionally at the assortment of vehicles park in dusty wasteland that was the Crossroads parking lot. Well, not so much an actual parking lot with lines and asphalt, but more a dusty endless field leading off into the horizon wherein one could see different parties arriving and departing. He glanced over at the police box, blue, as a British gentleman in a bowtie stepped out, leading a young man and woman towards the entrance of the café, while a chariot led by flaming horses landed next to it, and an Oldes Delta 88 pulled up, the driver stepping out wearing a blue shirt, jeans and a chainsaw grafted onto his right hand.

"Ah cheer up Razor Bazer," Pinkie Pie said as she danced into the seat right next to him and scooted up so close that she bumped her rump against his. "What's got you so downy wowney?"

"I REALLY wish you wouldn't call me that in public," Razor said as he pulled his eyes away from the window to look at her.

"Ah why not?" Pinkie Pie asked in the same bubblegummy manner she asked anything. "It's fun, and it rhymes. Like so many other fun things that rhyme. Fun, bun, pun, hippity, hoppity, downey, wowney, hurry, wurry," Razor could only roll his eyes as Pinkie Pie went on with her making up of words. "I'm not really that good at rhyming though, maybe I should talk to Zecora more often. Ah but thats not important right now. What's got you so gloomy woomy?" Razor could only sigh at that.

"Nothing really," he said. "It's just..." he paused for a moment to look down at the pink pony next to him, who was still shaking her rum in the seat despite sitting down. "It's just that it's been a little over a month since I've updated this story and well... Life's hit me with a run of bad luck recently, but its not something you need to worry about. It has nothing to do with you. Besides, it's done now. Everything should be back to normal.

"Over a month?" Pinkie said, confused, but not enough to stop shaking her rump to the dinosaur. "I thought you said you were gonna post the next chapter on Wednesday? I mean, you said it was too long cause so many people were giving you suggestions that you were gonna split it into two parts, right?" Razor couldn't help but laugh at that.

"Yes, Pinkie, yes I did say that," he said as he rubbed her head, which with her mane was kind of challenging. "But that was all the way back in chapter 52. I doubt if you've noticed, but this right here. This is chapter 71." At that, Pinkie's eyes EXPLODED!

"WHAT!?" Pinkie shouted. "BUT YOU SAID-!"

"AHA!" Razor shouted as he pointed at her. "So there are things you don't know about the fourth wall!" That didn't stop Pinkie's eyes from being unexploded though. "But yeah, don't worry. when you get back I'll send you back to chapter 53 where you belong. Don't worry, it's not a big deal for me."

"But..." Pinkie said, still confused.

"Space is warped and time is bendable, remember." Razor said to her. "I'm an author, Pinkie. I don't exist in this story like you do. To me, while time can't be broken, it can be bent." That did nothing to state Pinkie's confusion.

"So.... everything is fine?" she asked, which made Razor sigh.

"Yes, Pinkie," Razor said. "Everything is fine."

"Oki doki loki," Pinkie Pie said as she resumed shaking her rump in her seat. She didn't see it though, but the moment those words left her mouth, some weirdly dressed person in a goat like helmet looked over at them. Razor just shot a threatening look back at him, which made him back off. Thankfully, Pinkie didn't notice that. "So when can we order our food?" Pinkie asked. "I don't know about you but I'm starving."

"You're always starving Pinkie Pie," Razor said as he resumed looking back out the window.

"No I'm not," Pinkie Pie replied. "I mean sure I work in a bakery and eat pastries all the time and sure I can eat a whole cake in one bite and sure I have a tongue that would make even frogs and chameleons jealous, but I still get full, and right now I'm not full."

"If you say so," Razor replied. "And we're not ordering right now cause we're waiting for someone."

"Waiting for someone?" Pinkie asked, curious, though now it was a different kind of curious from before. "I thought it was just going to be the two of us."

"It was," Razor said. "But then something came up, so one of my...." Razor paused for a moment as he tried to think of the right word to use. "Acquaintances... is going to meet us here."

"Oh is that it?" Pinkie Pie replied chipperly. "Why didn't you say so before. You know me, I love meeting new ponies. Or people... or I guess authors in this case. Or anything really, I'd love to meet one of your friends Razor Bazer."

"Right, sure you would," Razor said in a monotone voice as he turned his attention back outside the window. "You'd absolutely love to meet him."

"Yay!" Pinkie Pie said as she threw her hooves up in the air for no adequately explained reason.

Razor kept looking off into the distance, spying a myriad of other vehicles, including a starship, a Delorean, a red doorframe, and a....

Wait a minute, he recognized that red doorframe from before, and watched as its interior filled with a black void and two shapes stepped forth, one human, and the other clearly equine in nature. He smiled warmly, the company he was hoping for finally arrived, as Pinkie Pie set the salt shaker, pepper, three hot sauce bottles, and a paper napkin holder on her forehead, trying to balance the lot. Where she got all of these things Razor couldn't fathom.... well he could, but he didn't want to.

“Look what I can do, Razor,” she said at the top of her lungs, but Razor was more preoccupied with the conservation happening right behind him.

“Woah son, for that you traded your everlastin' soul?” a rather rustic looking gentleman stated to the guitarist sitting next to him, as the two sat across from his compatriots.

“Well I wasn’t using it,” the musician stated rather blandly.

"I've always wondered," another rather rustic looking gentlemen who sat with the two of them said to the musician. "What's the devil look like?" The moment those words left his mouth, the door to the café suddenly opened, and the jukebox, as though by some unknown hand, changed songs.

"Mitternacht!

Gelchter Mitternacht!

Wenn die Gondeln trauer tragen und es hallt der Toten Klagen

tief im Nacken das Grauen sitzt Wenn die Uhr beginnt zu schlagen kalte, dichte Nebelschwaden berhr'n dich sacht.... ...Mitternacht!"

Razor looked up from the table to see a human walking through the door, wearing a white dress shirt, black silk vest, black tie with red cross, dress slacks and dress shoes, and all he could do is shake his head and roll his eyes.

"Loca in ferna in nocte loca in ferna in nocte

￼animae in nebula

￼..Mitternacht!"

￼All at once, before the chorus began to sing out of the speakers, the song shifted back to what ￼was playing before, as soon as a rose maned pony walked through the door.

￼“Really, Daedaltheus, must we do that?” Roseluck asked, looking up at the human.

￼“Goddammit, Roseluck!” Daedaltheus shouted, drawing the attention of the patrons of the café ￼before smiling coyly and taking a seat across from Razor and the now sitting still Pinkie Pie, whose mouth was below the table at this point.

￼Upon sitting across from the duo, Razor looked up at Roseluck, who merely beamed a warm and ￼loving smile to the otherwise dour expression on his face.

"HIM!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed the moment she saw them sit down. "HE IS YOUR ACQUAINTANCE!"

"Well that's a rather mediocre way of putting it," Daedaltheus said as he focussed his eyes on her.

"I thought he was your sworn enemy!" Pinkie Pie shouted at Razor as she turned to face him.

"When did I ever say that!?" Razor said as he looked back at Pinkie Pie with a kind of confused look on his face.

"But I. He. You. It. They. Them. He. Evil. What. I." Pinkie Pie went on as she kept making gestures between herself, Razor, and Daedaltheus while Roseluck just watched confused.

“How is it that you got a pony whose actually normal and I didn’t?” Razor asked, at which point Pinkie sat ￼still and groaned a bit.

“He put an ad in the paper,” Roseluck stated.

“What ad!?” Razor couldn't help but ask.

-Not that long ago but long enough so that it was before this story-

Wanted – Assistant

￼￼

￼Needs to have gardening skills, not afraid of new tasks on a regular basis

￼Willingness to be trained to handle military grade firearms

￼Can take notes quickly

￼Not Afraid of Inter-Dimensional Travel

￼Can work Nights

￼Willingness to be trained to be the equivalent to an Israeli Special Forces Commando

￼Will Pay Cash

-And back to the present-

“And you answered the ad?” Pinkie Pie asked before Razor could.

￼￼“Well, he’s a really nice guy,” Roseluck sighed, “all things considered.” Somewhere in the distance of the café, Master Roshi laughed.

￼Before the company could speak, a blonde waitress appeared at their table wearing a tube top, and what could only described as an impossibly short skirt.

￼“Howdy everyone,” she beamed. “My name is Holly Wood ￼and I will be your server,” she stated, drawing a few smiles from the table to her.

￼“I will have the pastrami, bacon and ham on rye with provolone, lettuce, tomato, pickles, onions, ￼and spicy mustard with barbecue sauce,” Razor stated, to which Holly took down every detail.

"And to drink?" she asked him.

"A coke will do just fine," Razor replied before the server then turned to Pinkie.

￼“I’ll have the daisy and field greens sandwich with a bubblegum berry very cherry extra sugary lemony lemonade,” Pinkie Pie said to her as a smile spontaneously appeared back on her face.

￼“I’ll have the Reuben on marbled rye with a Crown Lager,” Daedaltheus stated.

"And for you?" Holly said as she turned her attnetion to Roseluck.

"Uh...." Roseluck said. "Do you have any breakfast sandwiches by any chance?"

"Sure," Holly said. "The house special is particularly good."

"I'll take that then," Roseluck said, only for Daedaltheus to put his hand up.

"You don't want that," Daedaltheus said to her before anyone could say or do anything else.

"What, why not?" Roseluck asked, a bit confused, but Daedaltheus didn't answer her and instead turned his attention back to Holly.

"Ms., could you please explain to my friend what exactly is on the house special?" Daedaltheus asked her.

"Sure," Holly said, if a little confused herself. "Freshly made scrambled eggs with some cheese melted into them with bits of ham and-" Before she could even finish that sentence, Roseluck abruptly cut her off with a nervous chuckle.

"Do you..." she asked a bit nervously. "Do you have any vegetarian breakfast sandwiches per chance?" She finished that question with another nervous smile.

"Sure," Holly said as she wrote down Roseluck's revised order, knowing that it was not her place to question any of what just transpired. "And to drink."

"What, oh, strawberry lemonade," Roseluck said as Holly wrote it down. With that done, the menus were ￼collected and Holly rushed off to the kitchen where a rather tall chef named Jotaro worked, ￼always trying to perfect his fajita recipe.

￼“So, what’s new with you?” asked Daedaltheus, leaning on the table while Roseluck simply
￼admired the scenery of the café.

￼“Oh, you know, just taking it easy for a bit,” Razor replied, trying not to let the fact that Pinkie ￼Pie was drinking hot sauce, which she snatched from the table next to them, upside down and backwards. It kind of weird him out a bit.
￼

Daedaltheus' Note: Don’t ask me how this is possible, I’m just the writer, she’s... well she’s Pinkie Pie and the less I understand why the better I sleep.

￼“So, I noticed that you added a new character into the story,” Razor said, rather coldly.

"Wait, what new character?" Pinkie Pie interjected before Daedaltheus could respond. "I haven't seen any new characters. I mean, if I had seen any new characters, which I'm assuming you mean new ponies, I would have thrown a Welcome to Ponyville Party for them but I haven't thrown any Welcome to Ponyville parties since Jason got here, I mean I'm planning one tonight but thats for those four ponies Zecora introduced me too. Wait, are those the characters your talking about?"

Both Daedaltheus and Roseluck just stared at Pinkie Pie as she kept talking like that. Daedaltheus didn't show any change in expression whatsoever, but Roseluck, she looked as if she was incredibly confused, almost as if Pinkie said something that she knew she should have known. With no one else responding, Razor just sighed incredibly loudly and answered for her.

"Sorry," Razor said for Pinkie. "She's from chapter 52, so she hasn't actually met him yet."

"Chapter 52?" Roseluck said, now even more confused. "Daedaltheus, what chapter is that?"

"The one where Jason was trying out his new powers," Daedaltheus replied as calmly as ever.

"The one where he was.... wait, when was that?" Roseluck asked.

"From your perspective Pinkie here is from yesterday afternoon," Razor answered before Daedaltheus could. At that, Pinkie Pie's ears shot up like doggie ears.

"Wait!" She practically shouted. "Does that mean that they're from the future!?"

"Well she is from the future," Razor answered, pointing to Roseluck. "Daedaltheus and I exist outside of your story's timeline so we're aware of anything and everything thats happening regardless of when we choose to physically interact with it." At that Pinkie opened her mouth to speak again, but Razor stopped her before she could say anything else. "And before you even ask, no she can't tell you what's going to happen and no she won't tell you how your party was. Trust me, even if Daedaltheus and I let her tell you, she doesn't know anything relevant to you anyway." Roseluck... wasn't quite sure how to respond to that.

"Oooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh oooooooooookay," Pinkie Pie said as she spun her head around as if to signal that the metaphorical gears in her head were finally turning. "I think I get it now, but more importantly. WHY AREN'T YOU STABBING HIM!?"

"Stabbing who?" Razor asked nonchalantly.

"HIM!" Pinkie shouted as she pointed at Daedaltheus.

"Why would I want to do that?" Razor asked.

"BECAUSE!" Pinkie kept shouted. "HE! HE! HE-"

"Anyway!" Razor said, ignoring Pinkie and turning his attention back to Daedaltheus. "You created a new character without me knowing."

￼“What about it?” Daedaltheus replied, as though he truly and most thoroughly gave little to ￼zero f***s about Razor’s feelings on the matter.

￼“Why on Earth or in this case, Equestria, would you have the need,” Razor continued, “to create ￼a minor background pony to briefly appear here and there in the grander scheme of the story who bears an uncanny resemblance to your other pony OC?”

"You're talking about Daedalus right?" Daedaltheus asked, undeterred.

"Yes," Razor replied.

￼“The answer is quite simple,” Daedaltheus replied, “he is my surrogate body to interact with￼ your story in a way that prevents you from detecting my appearance in the story itself.”

“Except now I know about him,” Razor said. "Which means that even when you inhabit his body I'll still be able to detect you."

"Perhaps," Daedaltheus replied, still undeterred.

￼“Wait, wait, wait,” Pinkie Pie stated when she finally found the will to actually speak again, “So you mean to say that rather than turning yourself into ￼an actual pony, you just take over the body of one you created?

“Yeah,” Daedaltheus answered.

"Doesn’t that seem a little extreme?” Pinkie Pie added.

￼￼￼“Extreme in what way?” Roseluck interrupted, seemingly concerned that Pinkie would state ￼anything ill towards her, what’s the word I am looking for – ah yes, f*** buddy. ￼Shut up, I know that’s two words not one but according to backwards logic, it could be one word ￼if we apply the right amount of alcohol and the right amount of you not being a pedantic asshole.

￼ “Well, considering the overall measures of subterfuge this bastard takes,” Pinkie Pie stated ￼pointing at Daedaltheus who again gave zero f***s, “he is effectively overwriting the personality ￼of that pony every time.”

“Line Draft has a personality of his own, one that belongs to himself and no pony else,” ￼Roseluck defended the absent architect pony who, for the sake of the moment, sat in Roseluck’s dining room talking with Daisy about the finer points of Le Corponier and Frank Lloyd ￼Rein’s architecture. “He’s kind, sensitive, incredibly intelligent and a talented architectural
￼artist,” Roseluck added leaning further over the table towards the pink pony whom now stood ￼atop the edge of her side of the table.

￼“Yes, but only because he,” Pinkie pointed at Daedaltheus accusingly, “Made him like that ￼you stupid little filly. Haven’t you ever considered the possibility that Line Draft is tailor made ￼to manipulate you to Daedaltheus’ side of the story and to his skewed view of the world?” While ￼admittedly, Roseluck never considered the possibility that Line Draft’s purpose served to only
￼further the advancement of R.E.D.’s influence over the story proper, but she knew it never meant ￼anything good. After all, she understood and saw the documentation for Operation: Ender, the ￼extraction of all assets before End Game begins and then the final plan falls into place: Operation: ￼Dark-Star. She saw the plans for it and the reality of the situation but at least Daisy, Lily, Line Draft, and herself would be safe after the skies go dark in one universe.

￼“Line Draft is more than anything I could ever hope him to be and is a stallion that loves me for ￼who I am not because Daedaltheus or a lab full of scientists created him to do so!” Roseluck said ￼loudly, gathering the attention of several of the restaurant goers.

￼“How do you know that?” Pinkie Pie retorted.

￼“Because he never talked to me prior to the first time we met at your party last night,” Roseluck responded. “I saw him all the time walking around Ponyville, standing in the background at ￼parties and important events but he never once approached me even though every time he looked ￼at me, he blushed.”

At that Pinkie Pie kindly backed away, only to spontaneously draw a butterfly knife from within her mane and proceeded to leap across the table in an attempt to stab Roseluck shouting something about ‘death to the agent of evil’ but the music drowned out her voice. All at once, a single hand ￼crossed the table, a white metal ring on the index finger and caught the knife in his palm. ￼Wrapping his hand around the blade, Daedaltheus’ blood dripped freely as he pulled the knife ￼and the pony towards him, a glare of absolution crossing his face.

￼“For what you just tried to do, I should kill you where you stand you annoying half-witted spawn ￼of disorder,” Daedaltheus stated, resting the knife from Pinkie Pie and quietly and expertly threw it at ￼Razor, who caught it between his middle and index finger before it even got close to him.

"I'm keeping this," Razor stated as he folded up the knife and put it in his pocket.

"Ah but why!?" Pinkie Pie whined at him as she tore her attention away from the not actually that evil Roseluck and over at Razor.

"Because I don't trust you with a leaf blower much less a knife," Razor responded. "Seriously Pinkie, what the hell was that for?"

Daedaltheus meanwhile, took his cut hand and ￼waved it over the blood, his ring glowing white before the blood returned into the cut across his ￼palm and sealing, with some minor discomfort.

￼“She’s evil and I thought that maybe distracting her with talk of Line Draft would provide an ￼opportunity to stop her once and for all!” the pink mare replied while returning her gaze to and continued staring down Daedaltheus. Razor turned to say something nearly apologetic to Daedaltheus, but found himself no doing so ￼upon seeing the ring he possessed on his left hand.

￼“That ring,” Razor began, “I’ve seen that before, on the hands of the members of the White Lantern Corp.” he finished causing Daedaltheus to turn and face him, prompting Pinkie Pie to sit back ￼into her seat.

￼“You would be right,” Daedaltheus replied, “It is a White Lantern Ring.”

“Why do you have a White Lantern Ring?” Razor asked.

“Because it is the only thing keeping me alive,” Daedaltheus replied.

“Wait, what do you mean keeping you alive?” Roseluck asked.

“I am technically dead,” Daedaltheus said.

“You mean you’ve died?” Pinkie Pie said, rather enthusiastically.
￼￼￼￼￼

￼“Yes, and without the ring, which can only be removed by me if and when I wish to actually die ￼so don’t get any ideas from it,” Daedaltheus said to no one in particular, including the audience. ￼“And believe me, I do not wish to die anytime soon, especially with Death wanting me heels ￼after what I did to her.”

￼“Well you did basically f*** her over royally,” Razor replied.

“How do you know that?” Daedaltheus asked.

“Who do you think is my contact in the DC universe?” Razor answered smugly

“Note to self, find a way to kill Death,” Daedaltheus mumbled to himself.

￼￼￼￼“As if,” Pinkie Pie said. Roseluck never spoke but she seemed all around concerned, after all, to ￼her Daedaltheus existed as an infallible god, immortal with the rest of the horrid universe and all ￼of its unseen horrors, but now she saw that he could actually die. Perhaps there was just the inkling of the possibility that there was something wrong with the man she called her boss.

“So other than that what’s going on with you?” Razor asked.

￼￼“Oh you know, stuff involving the handing over of sensitive materials to the villain and basically ￼taunting your followers,” Daedaltheus replied, smiling at the ￼audience.

“Oh, so nothing new,” Pinkie Pie responded sarcastically, which was unusual for her. No sooner did the crowd around them begin to quiet down, as a newly turned vampire woman, from Forks, stood up and began to sing. Well, not so much sing, you see, as throatily wail incoherent nonsense as to make the ears of children bleed, though her husband seemed to be enjoying the show.

"￼I dreamed I was missing,

￼You were so scared-"

She never officially finished that verse for the second her goatish yells reached the ears of our... *ahem*...... heroes, Razor and Daedaltheus both promptly leapt forth from their chairs, and summoned as though from thin air, weaponry. Razor brandishing a modified Colt Paterson with the words "Non timebo mala," engraved along the barrel, and Daedaltheus holding an LAPD 2019 blaster, and at the top of their lungs screamed together, “SHUT THE F*** UP, YOU SOULLESS HARPY!” All at once, the singing stopped, the crowd turned to the two patrons, and as if on cue, Roseluck stepped forward
and said, “If you wouldn’t mind.”

￼“Seriously, why the hell are you singing?” Razor asked, never once taking his gun off of the ￼vampire harlot.

￼“It’s part of the free sandwich promotional,” said the manager, a man dressed in a 1950’s soda ￼jerk uniform, “if you sing a song, you get your sandwiches for free.” The pair of gun wielding maniacs looked at the man, ￼whose nametag read Mephistopheles, and before another word could be uttered, Pinkie bounced ￼into the frame.

￼“So if Razor bazer and ole grumpity Daedaltheus sing songs, we eat for free?!” she beamed, ￼nearly exploding into confetti at the prospect of singing to a large crowd.

￼“Well, they would eat for free,” he began, “you need to sing in order to get your food for free, so ￼if you really want to skip out on the bill, without me chasing you down, carving you into cutlets ￼and serving your soul to star gods, get in line.” With that, the crew sat down, mulling over the ￼idea of singing in front of such a diverse and large crowd of spectators in order to avoid paying ￼for lunch.

￼“I’m out,” Daedaltheus said.

“Ditto,” added Razor.

￼￼“I would have liked to,” pouted Roseluck. The three turned, expecting a Pinkie Pie shaped, well, ￼Pinkie Pie, to reply in a similar manner from her chair, but this proved all of them to be wrong, ￼and not just any ordinary kind of wrong, Kevin Spacey yelling wrong at you wrong.

￼“All right, ponies, and humans, and all kinds of weird things,” a helium pitched voice yelled over ￼the crowd, eliciting a Daedaltheus sounding moan, and an oddly Razor sounding ‘f*** me’ from ￼their table. “I’m going to sing now and I hope you all like it because I’ve never sung this song ￼before.” ￼The music started, a sort of techno sounding song, with a slight baseline, at which point she started sing, causing damn near everyone at her table to go into shock.

Pinkie Pie's song

Rock Over Japan (ARB cover) by Triple H

She finished, eliciting cheers from the crowd and more than her fair share of shocked expressions from her comrades as she bounded back to the table, a skip in her step and free sandwich ticket in her teeth.

“Since when can you sing in Japanese?” Razor inquired.

“Well I’ve been dubbed in Japanese, silly,” she said before adding, “Oh by the way I put your name in to go next.”

“Wait, what?”

Before he knew, Razor stood before the crowd, microphone in hand, and death glares aimed towards his friends, he waited, as the crowd began to egg him on. He didn’t want to do it, in fact every bit of his mannerisms screamed hell no, but he underestimated the pink mare and her ability to play the jukebox. Suddenly, the music kicked in with heavy guitars and he found himself compelled to sing.

Razor's song

The Memory Remains by Metallica

￼Razor finished to applauding from the audience at which point he took a bow and walked back to ￼the table, which is when Daedaltheus stood up.

“Figures you’d sing something like that,” he said, walking away.

“Oh shut up,” Razor replied and then asked, “Wait, where are you going?”

“Hey, if you’re going to sing, that means I have to sing too,” he replied. He took to the front of the crowd, drawing some stares from the other patrons, mostly the vampire couple, and selected a song from the jukebox. It started slow and soft, with an 80’s tech beat when suddenly, it came to the lyrics.

Daedaltheus' song

Don't Stand So Close To Me by The Police

Daedaltheus finished as the crowd applauded, though many were confused as to why on earth, or rather, any iteration of the planet, he would sing that kind of song, but to be fair, he could have cared less about what they thought. He returned to the table, only to find Roseluck missing, and the sounds of 70’s disco techno music starting up, at which point he turned to find his companion at the mic.

Roseluck's song

I Lost My Heart to a Starship Trooper by Sarah Brightman

Razor looked at Daedaltheus who seemed to be grooving along with the song, though any man that dare say otherwise against the voice of Sarah Brightman shall be exiled to the Medusa Cascade, or at least to Zant’s throne room when he’s off his meds.

“What, I really like the song, and Sarah Brightman for that matter,” Daedaltheus replied to Razor’s weird looks.

“Don’t you get it, you were a ‘starship trooper’ before all of this, weren’t you,” Razor said.

“Yeah, so?”

“Wow, you are really dense...” he never finished because Daedaltheus immediately shoved him aside to hug Roseluck.

“You did an excellent job,” he said, embracing the pony.

“Thanks, I’m really glad to hear that,” she blushed.

-After lunch.... breakfast.... or whatever-

After finally finishing their respective sandwiches, for free mind you since they all got to sing, the two authors and two ponies left the Crossroads Café began to head home. However, upon exiting the delicatessen, Razor immediately shoved Daedaltheus across the parking lot as he firmly planted his fist into an oncoming SUV, a sight to truly behold. The second his fist impacted the metal, the frame and exterior of the large, black vehicle shredded much like tissue paper under duress and the sounds of crumbling steel, iron, and aluminum could be heard for several dozen yards around. No sooner did the metallic carnage cease did two people, well former people considering their prospective conditions, but then again these two were bland in their actual human lives so at best they perhaps were people at some point but (the author, in this case DaedaltheusXIV has been slapped for trying to exaggerate the point).

“Hey, what the f*** is up with you trying to run us down like that huh?” Razor screamed as he watched a woman and man step out of the car’s wreckage while Daedaltheus picked himself up from the dirt.

“For threatening to kill my wife,” the man said, though there was something wrong with his skin, aside from the fact that it was paler than usual and the off color eyes, which was when it all clicked in Razor’s head.

“Oh my god, you’re Edward f***ing Cullen, aren’t you?”

“Damn right I am.”

"Oh this is perfect," Razor said as a gleeful smile crept across his face. "The only thing that would make this even better is if we had some-"

RazortheAwesome and DaedaltheusXIV vs Edward and Bella Cullen

Ruin by Lamb of God

"There we go," Razor said as the brutalness that was Lamb of God started blasting from seemingly nowhere.

"Where the Tartarus is that music coming from?" Roseluck asked as both she and Pinkie looked around for anything that could be playing heavy metal music.

"Really," Daedaltheus said as he rolled his eyes. "Really. Of all the songs you could have chosen, you had to choose this?"

"What?" Razor said with a shrug. "It's not my fault you don't like metal as much as I do."

"Excuse me!" Edward shouted at the two of them. "We're still here!"

“What, oh, right. You know, I thought only fairies sparkled in the sunlight,” Razor said, drawing some rather threatening expressions from Edward, which of course meant that the ghoul standing next to him was Bella.

“Look, it’s not that it would not bring me absolute joy to know that you are both gone,” said Daedaltheus, now standing next to Razor across from the vampire duo, “it’s just that we have eardrums and if you could have heard what we heard, then you would have done the same exact-” he never finished that sentence because he found himself hurling backwards into the wasteland compelled by Bella’s repeated fists to his face. Edward made a motion to do the same to Razor, however, the second his fist moved towards Razor’s face, he found it caught by the author, and within seconds, realized he was missing an arm. There Razor stood, holding a bloodied arm in his hand, drawing shrieks of terror from Edward as Razor looked back to Pinkie who merely smiled at this display of violence.

“Wow, I guess you really disarmed him,” she said, at which point the author was not sure whether to beat Pinkie with it or Edward, though upon the vampire trying to kick him, he choose the latter. With each swing of the arm, Razor laughed harder and harder, until finally he could not laugh anymore, which arose mainly due to the fact that Edward was neither dead nor being truly hurt. All at once, a sword was summoned as if from nowhere and driven straight through Razor’s side, which was the point when Razor realized exactly why the two could actually put up a measurable fight. The sword was immediately withdrawn from his side and proceeded to use it in order to stab Edward, several hundred times, until what was left of the vampire (author laughs uncontrollably) could be best described as a quivering mass of gelatin.

“Hey, Daedaltheus,” Razor yelled, “Have you noticed that these two...” he turned to see the gelatin now standing upright, and several dozen blades hovering around him, each one pointing to Razor’s body.

“I will f***ing end you!!!!!” Edward pretended to shout.

“Oh this is going to be fun,” Razor said in a voice more sinister than either Pinkie Pie or Roseluck had ever heard from either him or Daedaltheus as he brought out the colt again and fired off several shots at the vampire. Not a one of his shots hit Edward though, as he seemingly teleported out of the way of each shot only to reappear a few feet away from where he was previously.

"Great, did you learn that from Wesker or Adam," Razor said as he fired one more shot right at Edward right as he appeared right in front of his face. Quick as he was, the bullet from Razor's gun went right through Edward's cheeks and tore them both apart. The searing pain made Edward scream as he, plunged a blade into Razor’s leg. Pulling the blade out, Razor immediately swung it upwards at Edward, who disappeared before Razor could hit him.

Razor quickly turned around and fired behind him before Edward could get the jump on him, as he knew he would. Right as he fired the colt though, Edward disappeared, only to reappear again several feet behind him. Still, Razor fired shot after shot, even ricocheting some off of the ground and cafe itself, but none of them hit Edward. He was quick, too quick for Razor to compensate for the lack of available clips for an ancient, if not powerful Colt Patterson, which drew him to the only way he could possibly have a sporting chance against the vampire, well at least for the time being. Razor spun the gun around and made it disappear, catching the attention of Edward, who stopped his assault for now Razor began to laugh, not a wry laugh, or even a chuckling ha-ha funny laugh, but a malicious sort of laugh.

“So, you finally admit defeat to someone you know is your superior” Edward gloated, “me, Edward Cullen, the vampire.”

“No, because you see, you calling yourself a vampire is a velvety lie, and the steel hard truth of the matter is-” Razor began but Edward cut him off.

"Oh would you just shut up!" Edward screamed as he teleported right in front of Razor and threw a punch. Razor however, didn't even move and inch and grabbed Edward's fist with his right hand.

“I LEARNED THIS FROM A REAL F***ING VAMPIRE!” Razor screamed as he pulled Edward's hand off of his wrist and punched him in the gut with his opposite hand, and then again with his right hand again, and then again with his left, and again, and again, and again. "MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA!" Razor shouted over and over again as he punched Edward again and again with enough force to stop a tank. Then, with one last punch, Razor hit Edward right in the face, breaking several of his teeth and knocking him back several feet before he hit the ground and bounced off of it.

"ZA WARUDO!" Razor shouted at the top of his lungs as he threw out both his arms. Suddenly, before Edward could hit the ground again, the world's color suddenly inverted for a second as all time froze around them. "Toki wa tomare." Razor said as he crossed his arms and admired the broken and beaten Edward Cullen.

Then suddenly, from both of his hands, Razor suddenly spawned a multitude of knives of varying sizes and types, including the butterfly knife he took from Pinkie Pie earlier.

"KIA!" Razor shouted as he threw ALL OF THEM at the frozen in time Edward. However, all of them seemingly stopped before hitting him. After he threw the last knife, which was Pinkie Pie's butterfly knife, he turned around and threw arm right hand down in an epic pose. "Soshite, toki ga ugoki desu." Razor then said as suddenly time started flowing again and every single knife stabbed right into Edward and knocked him right into the ground.

Edward twitched a little bit as he tried to stand back up again, for none of this truly scared him, but Razor floating above him with the steamroller in his hands did.

"MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA!" Razor shouted as he drove the steamroller down hard and fast onto the vampire, not even bothering to give him the chance to get an inch off the ground “WWWWWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!” Razor then shrieked as he stood atop the steamroller and did what basically amounted to a pelvic thrust.

Suddenly, the steamroller exploded as Edward punched right through it and stood back up. Now back on his feet, he pulled the few remaining knives out of his body as he stepped forward and looked around for Razor, whom had seemingly disappeared.

"COME ON!" Edward shouted to the skies, though more directly at Razor. "Is that it!? Is that all you-" he never got to finish that sentence because as he spoke, a sharp pain suddenly hit him in the chest. He then looked down to see a forearm sticking right out of his chest, and grasped in the hand that was attached to said forearm, was his heart. Behind him, Razor stood with his arm right through Edward's chest as he looked like he gave about as many f***s as Daedaltheus. It was quite a scary sight to see actually.

"I know this belongs to Bella," Razor said to Edward before crushing the heart in his hand, making blood pop out of it just like a water balloon all over Edward's clothes and face. "But somehow I doubt that selfish bitch cared about it that much. Besides, between the two of you, she's the blood sucking monster. You're just a pretty boy." At that, Razor then pulled his arm out of Edward's chest as he fell to the ground face first.

"You.... You..." Edward barely spoke as he tried to get up off the ground.

"Oh would you just shut the f*** up," Razor said as he pulled the colt back out. "AND DIE!" Without any hesitation, the moment those words left his mouth he shot Edward right in the head with the colt. All movement from Edward's body, or to be more accurate corpse, ceased with that last shot.

Pinkie Pie and Roseluck stood there in awe, Pinkie longer than Roseluck who looked out to the wasteland where Daedaltheus presently fought Bella.

-Meanwhile, in the Wasteland-

“Look, Bella,” Daedaltheus stated to the obviously tired and panting Bella, “you can keep trying to hit me all day long and I will simply keep blocking your punches each time.”

“Shut up, f***er,” she said, between gasping for air and started a second round of running around Daedaltheus, kicking up much dust and dirt as she did. Daedaltheus summoned the LAPD 2019 blaster once more and proceeded to fire shots into the dust cloud, which now took off further into the wasteland, prompting him to follow. She stopped and quickly ran perpendicular to him, causing him to miss and shoot a single rock causing it to explode.

“There’s no point in continuing to run,” he shouted into the rising dust cloud while he reloaded, “I’ve had several centuries to practice with this thing and I never miss.” Suddenly, a blade came flying from within the dust cloud and stabbed Daedaltheus straight through the heart.

-Meanwhile, in the Audience-

The sounds of joyous cheer erupted at the sight of Daedaltheus standing there with a full blade run through his heart and sticking out the other end while Bella grasped the handle.

-Back at the Plot-

“You were saying, author,” she taunted wrenching the blade in his chest, causing him to drop the gun, which fell to the ground with a loud clang.

-Meanwhile, with Razor and the others-

“Great, he's dropped his gun,” Razor stated, “I'd say she’s been dead for about ten minutes now.”

“What?” both Pinkie and Roseluck asked.

-Meanwhile, with Daedaltheus-

Deep within Daedaltheus’ mind, something happened as though a final cog fell into place and began to turn a foul machine that echoed foul howls throughout his being. He felt it, the twitch, that simple twitch of it happening, that twitch that began to spread throughout his body until finally he closed his eyes and reopened them, a hellfire of happiness behind them.

-Meanwhile, with Razor and the others-

“You see,” Razor explained, “Daedaltheus and I are authors, and usually, USUALLY, we hold back when dealing with other characters from stories like yourselves, but there’s a problem with these versions of Edward and Bella Cullen.”

“What sort of problem?” Roseluck timidly asked.

“In our world, the books they come are written in first person, as though they are the journals of the characters, which is all fine and dandy, however, these versions are said authors of the text in their universe.”

“Meaning?” asked a now inquisitive Pinkie Pie.

“They can do what we do,” Razor stated bluntly.

“What does this have to do with him dropping his gun?” asked Roseluck.

“Nothing, it just means that he has no reason to hold back now.”

“On a scale of one to ten, how bad is that?” asked Roseluck.

“On that scale, there isn't even a number that can say just how f***ed she is.”

-Meanwhile, with Daedaltheus-

Daedaltheus raised his hand to her forehead as though to flick her, which he admittedly did do, except that this flick sent Bella flying backwards fifty-five feet through the air until she came crashing down only to find Daedaltheus standing over her.

“You know, many men and women have stabbed me through the chest,” he nonchalantly spoke while withdrawing the blade, “you would think that they would have learned their lesson by now.” The blade melted into a puddle of metal at her feet, and she rose to punch him again, but he caught her fist and leaned in close to her face. “I am going to start hitting you now,” he spoke, a surge of energy racing into his hand, “and I will not stop until you are atomized.” There came a blast of energy strong enough to shred her hand apart into a bloodied stump, causing her to cry out in pain.

“You son of a bitch!” she cried out as she took to the skies, summoning a myriad of blades to cascade at Daedaltheus.

“USELESS!” he shrieked as the blades vaporized around her and all she could do is look on and witness the author pull a large chunk of the ground out from underneath him and hurl it towards her. She impacted with the object as Daedaltheus hovered in midair, waiting for something to happen, when much to his pleasure it did, with Bella attempting to furiously hit him with her remaining good hand. When he continued to block them and eventually grabbed ahold of the bone sticking out from her stump to hurl her to the ground, she summoned a large cannon in his face that sent Daedaltheus flying backwards through the air. She proceeded to fly with him, punching him several times in the sides and face, to which Daedaltheus thought nothing of it, since he healed nigh instantaneously from such wounds. When he finally had some space between himself and her, he did what should be impossible but nevertheless still managed to pull it off. He took hold of the fourth wall and swung it like an axe at Bella, who was now within range to actually have something done to her.

“Eat fourth wall, bitch!” he yelled out as he swung down hard and fast with the fourth wall, which collided with her head sending her hundreds of feet down until she lay on the ground. She looked up and saw Daedaltheus still floating there, raising a single hand towards the sky with a smile spread wide across his face as a single black dot began to form in his outstretched right hand. The black dot grew into a small ball, then the size of a beach ball, now an office building until finally he held above his head a raging black sphere one mile in diameter and above his head appeared the sign of Omega. She looked on in horror, her shattered spine forcing her to lay there and watch as the lunatic held aloft this star like object before speaking.

“I am the Omega, I am the end of Hope, the Fear, the Loneliness of Life itself, the Walking Despair, the Condemner of the Innocent, the Hatred of a Thousand Grieving Mothers, and the Seeker of the Termination of all Good Things. I am DaedaltheusXIV, the Great Nightmare!” Daedaltheus cried out before sending the sphere cascading down into the ground, colliding with Bella, whom was vaporized on impact, and followed shortly by a colossal explosion and rising hellfire filled cloud.

-Meanwhile, with Razor and the others-

The shock wave hit the ponies hard, sending them back a few feet until Razor cast a shield to protect them from the remained blast. The vehicles near the café shifted a bit until the blast subsided, several minutes later, and at last, the three could see clearly what remained of the vampire woman: a three mile deep and five mile wide smoldering crater in the middle of the wasteland. Within seconds, Daedaltheus appeared before them, looking as he had before the fight, though his tie was noticeably askew, and had some ash leftover on her shirt collar, which he promptly took care of.

“That, my dear Roseluck, is what happens when one understands the full power of the Anti-Life Equation,” he said, making the adjustments to his clothes as various patrons rushed outside, most with horror filled expressions upon their faces.

“You turned her into a crater,” Razor stated.

“She had it coming,” Daedaltheus replied as he looked over Razor’s shoulder and saw several patrons brandishing weapons as though they too were ready to get in on the action. “I think that it’s time that we leave,” he said pointing to the angry patrons now assembling en mass.

“Agreed,” Razor said, “Until next time,” he finished before firmly shaking Daedaltheus’ hand and watched as Pinkie Pie and Roseluck gave each rather threatening looks Razor and Pinkie vanished before their eyes. A few seconds later, the red doorframe appeared wherein Roseluck and Daedaltheus slipped away to write another day.

-Not too far away-

While all of that was happening, just slightly to the side of the Crossroads Café (which side was kind of impossible to tell due to the nature of authors and the obvious by this point god like powers they possess over written works), sat the brown dog with his mouth only a couple inches from the floor. He had seen EVERYTHING!

"DAMN!" was all that the brown dog could say.

"Well, it's official," Cortana said to him, though no one else could hear her since she was only in his sunglasses. "I didn't think it was actually possible, but I'd say you just picked a fight with someone whose even more insane and destructive than you are."

"At least he's not as psychotic as I am," the brown dog said after he moved his jaw around a bit to make sure it still worked.

"Why are you saying that like its a good thing?" Cortana replied to him as she put her right palm to her face.

"Because it is," the brown dog responded like it was no big deal. Cortana just kept her palm in her face. "Anyway," the brown dog continued. It doesn't really matter because I've already won. With that, the brown dog couldn't help but smile. The smile on his face was... giddy.... evil.... happy...... like he just did something for no reason other than whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy not, and it made Cortana worried.

Suddenly, from inside the Crossroads Café, someone screamed.

"OH DEAR GOD WHY!!!!???" Someone screamed from inside the cafe followed by more various and incandescent screaming.

"What's wrong with me!?"

"WHAT WAS IN MY SANDWICH!"

"NEVERMIND THAT! WHAT WAS IN MY COFFEE!!!!????"

And then Wilhelm screamed again.

"OK, what the hell was that?" Cortana asked the brown dog after that second Wilhelm scream, even though she feared what the answer would be.

"I laced all the food supplies with this, the brown dog said, holding up a red thermos. "I call it Colon Blow Ex Machina."

"A laxative? That’s it?" Cortana asked.

Well, it’s not just a laxative, the brown dog explained. "There’s also plenty of starchy materials I’ve blended together so that the retainer has both Constipation and Diarrhea at the same time. Also erectile dysfunction drugs, hormone pills and LSD were added to the mix, so not only will their bowels be battling them to the extreme, but they’ll be high and horny as f*** as it happens."

"Wow… that’s just plain f***ed up," a marginally impressed Cortana said.

"I know right? Score 1 for me!" the brown dog said as he put the thermos away.

"Wait," Cortana said as something dawned on her. "You laced the food supplies with it?"

"Eeyup," the brown dog replied.

"The ones in the kitchen?" Cortana asked.

"Eeyup," the brown dog replied again.

"Does that mean-?" Cortana tried to ask again.

"Eeyup," the brown dog replied again before she could finish her sentence, giving her another sinisterly giddy grin as he did. At that, Cortana slapped both of her palms to her face and rolled them down her face. If she actually had skin, she probably would have torn it off.

"Why?" she asked. "Why did you lace Razor and Pinkie’s food too? Better yet, why did you lace everyone's food?"

"Couldn’t take a chance that they would switch their food or something. Even if they didn’t order food, I filtered it through the vents in gas form, just to be on the safe side. Besides, one guy crapping himself in a restaurant is hilarious, multiple people, equals comedy gold." The brown dog explained.

"Even your own ally?" Cortana had to ask.

Hey, Razor knew what he was signing up for! the brown dog shouted at the not actually there AI.

"Again, he was drunk," the not actually there but trapped in the brown dog's sunglasses AI said. "So I don’t think so. And why did you set fire to the kitchen when the building was already on fire?"

"Wait, what?" the brown dog said, confused before he turned to his left and looked at the Crossroads Café, as he was sitting to the right of it this whole time, and saw that it was now, for some reason, on fire. "Oh yeah.... Hehehe..."

"Again, why!?" Cortana practically screamed.

"What and let Dreidel Thesis have all the fun? I don’t think so," the brown dog said matter of factly as he and Cortana, who couldn't look away even if she wanted to and watched the building burn.

"Seriously, you’ve got a serious arson problem," Cortana said to him.

"It’s not a problem if I enjoy it!" the brown dog said as he cracked another doggie smile, and again, Cortana could only let out the longest, most exaggerated sigh an AI of her programming could before the brown dog, and by extension her since she was trapped in his sunglasses like a rat in a cage, disappeared in a manner similar to a television turning off. With that, they were gone.

Back in the Crossroads Café, the few patrons that were left all ran out into the parking lot screaming as they all went their separate ways. Some of them went their separate ways together, but that was beside the point. Behind them, the building continued to burn. While all of this was happening, the man in the sodajerk outfit stepped out with a look on his face that could only be described as ABSOLUTELY LIVID before he too, vanished into thin air.

-The next day, back in the Wake up. See this. What do? Universe-

PERSPECTIVE SHIFT:

Roseluck

You wake up in your bedroom, the dim sunlight of the morning barely illuminating the room through your thick blinds. You rise from the bed to slowly pull open the blinds and watch as Celestia’s sun rise in the east, casting the early shadows across the streets of Ponyville. After a quick shower, you then walk downstairs and prepare a simple breakfast before watering your lilies outside the door and walk back inside to check today’s itinerary. You look and see no new items to accomplish and decide to spend the day doing what you please, since this is your first real day off in a long time.

You brush your mane and grab a few bits before heading out into town as the marketplace and various shops open for today’s business, hoping to perhaps buy some fabric and a few groceries.

You are Roseluck, assistant to author, and according to some evil wizard, DaedaltheusXIV.

WHAT DO YOU DO?

Author's Note

status: unedited

Now back to the actual story

Well isn't it obvious?
You receive an incoming call on your phone from your boss telling you he knows that it's your day off, but that a target of the utmost importance must be tortured for his sins.
The Target, Shia Labeouf.
Materials needed for execution:
Skinning Knives,
Salt,
Lemonade,
Electric Eels,
A speaker system playing all the worst pop songs of the last five years AT THE SAME TIME!!!!
Gasoline
A Mariachi Band
A car battery
Electric Cables
a Tomigachi
BUTTERFLYS!!!
JELLO!!!!
Liam Neeson and Mr Blonde for support
An HD Video Camera
And Stephen Spielberg to Film It.

Use your Imagination Rose :pinkiecrazy:

Also at your most inconvenient time, you all of a sudden feel constipated and diarrheatic at the same time. Get to a bathroom where you all of a sudden feel really horny for some reason as you crap your life away, and where are all those pretty colors coming from? Ask the catooney hallucinations what they think. But don't trust them, you're certain they are all salesmen.

As for the What do? Bit, I'd say find the nearest bathroom. And a vibrator. And ask why there is a dragon guarding your fridge.

Go have a walk.

Lament about all the insanity that had became your life in Ponyville. The friends you've come to know, the assignments given to you, the vigorous training that you've been put through, the screams of your targets, including the melodramatic Lily, Ponyville for it's false descriptions of promised calm, and most of all Daedaltheus and how you met him.

When had the universe became so weird? Was there ever a thought when you wished things were normal? Why are you starting to have cheesy thoughts now all of a sudden?

But by goodness you need to relax. Well, time to go to the SPA! ...with your fabled flower friends, of course.

I think you answered your own question Roseluck, go buy your groceries and enjoy the morning... while it lasts. Dun dun dun! Nah but seriously go get some groceries and enjoy the morning air!

Rosie, sweetie, you're gonna get yerself down to the local spa for some alone time.

Go find the dildo under your bed, have about 10 seconds of fun, then go downstairs to prepare breakfast. Also do it in a dungeoncrawler like fashion cause why not?

As "fuck up DXIV's plans" is probablly not an option just do whatever the last 8 people said or just fuck Line Draft until one of has something better to do. :derpytongue2:

I, Roseluck (insert last name here if it exists), now have decided to go down from my room, fix myself a cup of tea. Why? Because I'm in a f*cking tea mood. Don't question me! And then, I'm gonna hug Line Draft. Why? Because I'm in a hugging mood. Don't question me! And then I'm gonna snuggle with him!
Back to author mode:
I don't think I'll ever do female perspective again… it felt weird… Find your happy place, find your happy place, find your happy place...

Roseluck, darling, I am going to be busy for a while so, you might want to consider this a mini vacation, have fun and the lot.

Also, go to the spa with Lily and Daisy.

It's a beautiful morning~
And the sun is shining~
Roseluck: You just can't help but sing to yourself on this pretty good day. It's practically your day off, and that hasn't happened in a long time. You'll probably be hearing about the recent turn of events from other ponies you say hello to. On that note, you might as well see how Lily and Daisy are doing, maybe take a spa trip or something to unwind.
Although...
Derpy did die recently... That can't be good for the mood of Ponyville. Might want to be careful with your own mood, as it might incite a fight against you, and that wouldn't be good in your situation as an author's assistant, now would it?

At last, I have found the gold...again...for some reason...i don't know...magic?
Roseluck...good luck with your sheets. (judging from the fact that she woke up already after the previous day, either she was awake for the strike of the colon blow ex-machina, or it hit her at some point in the night. The final, and from her perspective preferable, option is that it appeared to her as a dream sequence that is now being over analysed by the readers to try and...that sentence ends somehow, figure it out for yourselves. Please don't tell me, I don't need another reason to go to therapy...
Anyway, if it was an elaborate dream sequence, go fuck Line Draft
If it wasn't...
...
...
...
God help you.

*RazortheAwesome reads all the comments you guys posted*

Da f***?

*Rereads the end of the last chapter*

DAMMIT DAEDALTHEUS!!!!!!!!

-Somewhere that's not here-

"Hehehe..."

-Back to here-

*SIGH!* ANYWAY....

Since it's your first real day off in a long time (and by that you mean day off from both your job here in Ponyville and working for your other boss), you decide to treat yourself and head on over to the spa. You contemplate inviting Lily and Daisy for a moment, but after you think about it for a little bit, you decide that you don't really want them around this time. Nothing against them, its just that Daisy was acting kind of weird the last time she talked to you and Lily..... well you honest to Celestia don't know whats up with Lily. So you decide to give yourself some well deserved alone time and start heading to the spa by yourself. After you're done there maybe you'll grab some groceries or go see Line Draft. You don't exactly know where he lives, but it can't be that hard to figure out. Celestia you feel all flushed just thinking about him. But yes. Spa first.

Okay, now that thats done.

Perspective Shift:

Jason Morgan

By the way... Did Jason get kidnapped or horribly injured? The cliffhanger kinda implies that...

You open your eyes to see..... green. Your vision is blurry as all hell so you can really make out anything to save your life, but the only thing you see is a really bright green color. Suddenly, from the corner of your eye you see this purplish blog come into view, but the moment it does, it disappears again, as if it saw you and ran the hell out of there. You think you can hear someone.... somepony, shouting something, but it sounds really far away, too fear for you to hear anything. Your vision nor your hearing doesn't get time to adjust as you quickly close your eyes again and everything goes black.

When you open your eyes again you see.... orange. The bright green that you saw before is still there, but now it's just in the corners of your vision while the orangeness is taking up most of what you see. Your vision is still blurry as all hell, but after a few moments, you think you can see a bit of yellow as well, as well as a bit of white and brown, and some green. Instinctively you blink a few times, and when your vision clears, the orange blob takes shape and turns out to be Applejack.

She's looking right at you, you're almost eye level with her. From what you can tell, you seem to be lying down. You look past her for a moment at the green walls behind her. It doesn't take long at all for you to figure out where you are.

All you can do is groan loudly and try to sit up. God it seems like you only just got out of the hospital yesterday. If you didn't know any better you'd say that you were quickly making a habit of this. The moment you try to sit up though, Applejack quickly puts a hoof on your chest.

"Easy there," she says to you as she pushes you back into the bed. "Ya'll took quite a beatin, don't go pushin yourself too hard." You don't say anything at that. You know that what she just said is essentially true. Still, you let out another groan and roll over in your hospital bed, only to come face to face with Spike. You then lift your head up a little bit to see Rarity standing next to him, and then Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and then Fluttershy. They all were here for you.

At the foot of your bed however, was another pony. A purple unicorn. A purple unicorn with purple eyes and a magenta streak running through her mane. Twilight Sparkle.

As much as it kind of pissed you off to see her here right now, you can't really bring yourself to be that mad about it, especially after what happened.

Against Applejack's wishes, you try to sit back up again. She tries to push you down again, but you gently push her hoof out of the way. She seems to get the message as you, with some effort, push yourself up. You almost fall over, but you steady yourself a bit and rub your face with your right hand.

"What time is it?" you ask them. None of them respond though. When you take your hand off of your eyes, you look back at all of them see them all looking around at each other. It seems like they're all silently debating whether to tell you or not, or to be more accurate, like theres something they all know that they're not sure if they want to tell you.

"Jesus Christ, how long was I out?" is the only thing you can ask them.

-Two Weeks Ago-

-Ponyville-

The events of earlier pay back through your head again as you replay the moment that Risen Flagg shot Derpy. With that in your head, you run towards the stage as fast as you can, jump up into the air, land on one of the guard ponies in front of the stage, and then jump off of him out of the cloud of tear gas as you fly several feet into the air again and fall towards the center of the stage, right in where Risen Flagg is.

Time almost literally seems to slow to a crawl for you as you look directly into his eyes again and see that he is still smiling at you. It was almost like he expected this. As you look into his eyes, the moment he shot Derpy replays in your head again as you raise your lightning enchanted spear, the lightning in it growing in ferocity as sparks fly out from it.

Out of the corner of your eye you notice Trixie watching you with a look of horror on her face, but you don't care about her. You don't care about what anyone things of this motherf*cker. HE WILL PAY FOR WHAT HE DID TO DERPY!!!

Then, right as you reach Risen Flagg, you bring the spear down, right on him.

The moment the blade of your spear gets within an inch of his face though, it suddenly stops. No, really, it just stops. It wasn't like a magical barrier kind of stop where something blocked it, it literally just stopped.

You look at Risen Flagg, he's not moving, but then you notice another hoof holding the spear, a white hoof. You follow the hoof and find yourself staring into the eyes of Joseph Curwen, Risen Flagg's butler.

The deadpan, emotionless expression on his face is still there, and he doesn't even seem to flinch despite the fact that there are now several thousand volts of lightning traveling through him. In fact, the lightning doesn't even seem to be affecting him at all.

Before your mind can even processes that any further than it already has though, you don't even see him move, but the next thing you know, you suddenly feel yourself get hit in the chest by something as you go flying backwards.

After that, everything went black.

-The Starship Enterprise-

In the transporter room of the Starship Enterprise, the machines flared to life as Kirk, Spock, McCoy, and Gordon Freebrony all appeared in the room. The still conscious members of the party looked around for a moment to get a handle on where they actually were, but it didn't take them more than a moment to get it.

"Dammit Scotty!" Kirk practically shouted as he stepped out of the transporter and removed his perception filter, effectively making him appear as his regular, human self again. "What's going on!?"

"Jim," McCoy said, but Kirk ignored him.

"Sir," Scotty said as he walked around the controls right up to him. "Thank god you're all right."

"I'm grateful for your concern Scotty but why did you pull us out!?" Kirk angrily asked.

"Captain," Spock said as he raised his hoof, as neither he nor McCoy had removed their perception filters yet.

"Not now Spock!" Kirk shouted without turning around before he returned his attention to Scotty. "We were this close to our target! We could see him. We were just about to get what we needed from him. So why did you have to pull us up now without contacting us!?"

"Jim!" McCoy shouted at him one last time.

"What!?" Kirk shouted as he spun around to look at McCoy, only to see him pointing down at Gordon Freebrony. When both Kirk and Scotty turned their attention to him, their eyes widened with absolute horror as they realized what he and Spock were talking about. Yes, Gordon Freebrony was unconscious, but more importantly, Zecora was standing right on top of him.

Quickly and franticly, she looked all around the room like a child who had just been taken from its home. She looked around at all the silver, grey, and white wall and saw all the lights, buttons, but more importantly, she saw the crew, she saw them. As all of this flooded her vision, she started breathing faster, which quickly went from simple breathing to hyperventilating as her mind struggled to comprehend let alone understand where she was and who she was with. Then, with one last turn, she saw Kirk. She saw him as he was, not as a pony, but as the human that he really was.

At that, like a light suddenly going out, Kirk watched as he saw Zecora's eyes roll into the back of her head and she collapsed right on top of Gordon Freebrony, dropping the spear she was holding to the floor as well.

"Dammit!" Kirk shouted as he rushed over to her and tried to pick her up off of Gordon, which considering that she was about as large as an actual pony from earth, was kind of difficult. After a moment of trying though, Spock rushed over, tore off his perception filter and easily picked her up with his Vulcan strength. At that, Kirk just nodded at him as he grabbed Gordon, who was much easier to carry. "Get them to the med bay!" Kirk shouted as McCoy came over to help him with Gordon. "Bones, about Zecora-"

"Dammit Jim I'm a doctor not a veterinarian!" Bones said to Kirk before he could even finish that statement.

"From what I understand veterinarians are a type of doctor," Spock said to them before he headed out the door.

"Shut up Spock!" McCoy shouted back as he, Kirk, and a few other crew members got them to the med bay.

Current status of all of the side story characters:

Key:

Author name

Character name

SwimingDalek98

Swimming Dalek - Still locked inside his custom Dalek shell, which is currently chained, locked, and well... basically bolted to the wall of a specially made cell designed by both Dalek Aldebaran and Regulus somewhere on The Caesar. Progress of recovery from his Slenderpony induced insanity unknown.

All the other Dalek's under his command - With The Caesar back online, all other Daleks have returned to their pre appointed duties with Dalek Antares in charge due to Swimming Dalek's..... condition.

Registered Anonymous

Registered Anonymous - Last seen carrying BRP in the med bay of The Enterprise. Current whereabouts unknown.

Steve - Last seen with Registered Anonymous in the transporter room of The Enterprise. Current whereabouts unknown.

Slim - Currently in Captain Kirk's private quarters making sweet, furious love to Jim.

Jim - Currently in Captain Kirk's private quarters making sweet, furious love to Slim.

Ramirez - Unknown

Calvin - Unknown

Tommy - Unknown

Reginald/Dave - Unknown

Janitor - Unknown

Doc - Last seen stealing all of the porn off of The Enterprise's mainframes while nobody was paying attention to him (seriously, no one even acknowledged him while he was The Enterprise). Current whereabouts unknown.

Gordon Freebrony

Gordon Freebrony - Suffered a pretty vicious blow to the back of the head during the riot. Currently unconscious in The Enterprise's med bay.

Kirk - Last seen talking with Scotty and Spock.

Spock - Last seen with Kirk.

McCoy - Currently in the Enterprise's med bay tending to BRP, Gordon Freebrony, and Zecora.

Zecora - Passed out from shock due to suddenly being teleported onto a space ship with a bunch of aliens (Okay they're all humans but come on, they're aliens to her). Currently in The Enterprise's med bay. Presumably she'll be the first one to wake up.

Rest of the Enterprise crew - Now that Kirk has returned, they are waiting on his orders. Otherwise they are just performing their normal duties.

Grey Rebl

Grey Rebl - Still in his office. Has yet to informed that The Caesar has been reactivated.

Nana - Still in BRP's wrist computer with Hugh, which is currently on Bronze Statue's wrist (see Hugh's current status).

Braeburn - Unknown, presumably dispersed with the rest of the ponies when Jason threw down the tear gas and ran off back to Sweet Apple Acres with Applejack.

Little Strongheart - Unknown, presumably same as Braeburn and she met up with him again back at Sweet Apple Acres.

All other ponies that work for the AIA - Still going about their daily duties.

Broniesrponies2

BRP - Unconscious in The Enterprise's med bay. Out of the three characters there, he's probably the worst off, so it might take a little longer for him to fully heal.

Hugh Jackman - Still in BRP's wrist computer, which was removed from him and put on Bronze Statue so that he could reactivate the ship. Is currently still on Bronze Statue's wrist while BRP is unconscious.

Bronze Statue

Bronze Statue - In the med bay sitting patiently while he waits for BRP to wake up. Is still wearing BRP's wrist computer while he's unconscious.

-The Following Day-

(Day 1)

-Canterlot Palace-

Perspective Shift:

Princess Celestia

You are princess Celestia, one half of the diarchy of the proud nation of Equestria and to many, a real live goddess. You have just heard about the.... horrible...... awful..... no words that you know can truly say just how bad it is, atrocity that has just occurred in the town of Ponyville just one day ago. Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle, ran off as soon as she heard about it to see if her friends were okay, and you weren't about to stop her. In her position you would have done the same thing.

This..... what happened...... Nothing like this has happened in Equestria for a long time, and as long as you have been ruler of this proud nation, you have done your absolute best to make sure that it has never happened. Despite that though.... you couldn't save her. Derpy Hooves. You've met her once before. You've never really spoken to her personally, but you've seen her on your occasional trips to Ponyville to visit Twilight Sparkle and her friends. She was somewhat famous around the town for her eyes, her cheerfulness, and her love of muffins. She wouldn't even know how to harm a fly, not unlike Fluttershy, she loved everything too much. However, despite that, she was branded a terrorist and executed publicly without a trial.

You.... all of the pent up rage inside you right now..... It makes you..... just want to.... Raze the entire city to the ground and punish all those responsible by banishing them for several millennia into the sun. Not a lot of ponies know this, but what you did to Luna 1,000 years ago was kind. It's so far from what you are truly capable of that you are glad that nopony, not even Twilight Sparkle, knows what you and Luna are truly capable if you so wished, and how you wish to be right now. You could turn this whole world upside down, burn everything to cinders until the only things left to burn are cinders, but you are not like that.

No, you are a fair goddess, and as wrathful as you can be, you know in your heart that it isn't the right thing to do. It would make you no better than the pony that did this to poor Derpy. No, you have to be better than them, like you know you are.

And now, because you know that you are better than they are, here you sit, in your throne room, waiting for them. You summoned the pony you know who is responsible for this as soon as you heard that he got back, and you and him are going to have quite a lovely little..... INCINERATING.... chat.....

Suddenly, your thoughts get pushed out of your head when the door to your throne room opens. You spaced out for a moment, so you weren't paying attention. It seems that he has arrived. The guards let him in, and right now he is walking down the red carpet right to your throne, where you are currently sitting.

It doesn't take him long at all to reach you, and when he does, with all the grace and respect a pony in position should have, he bows before you.

"You summoned me, your majesty," he says to you with..... is that pride in his voice?

In front of you, is Risen Flagg. Recently elected senator of Canterlot, and the one who shot Derpy Hooves in the head.

By you you have so much you want to say to him.

What do you say to him?

What do you ask him?

What do you do?

Bonus Story

DaedaltheusXIV vs Browndog77 - A Game of Twits

Authors note: This is just something that my good friends Daedaltheus and Browndog77 (the one who poisoned everyone in the last chapter) came up with, and when the proposed the idea to me I was like "Why the hell not" and let them do it. This isn't part of the story in any way, just something extra just for fun. So, for your entertainment, I present to you, A Game of Twits. Enjoy (Oh, and I only allowed this because I actually am good friends with both of these people, so don't go asking me if I will let you all do anything similar. So yeah...)

Meanwhile in the Bunker that may or may not be apart of your imagination but is totally real...

DXIV: (clutching his stomach) Medic, somebody call for a fucking medic.

Red Medic: (walks into his office) Und vat can I do for you, commander?

DXIV: You see, I have horrible cramps and my stomach feels as though it is on fire while I am simultaneously possessing a failing erection while I am horny and I consistently seeing a dancing green leprechaun.

RM: What?

DXIV: I've been drugged you ass-hat and need a cure.

RM: Well (withdraws needle and takes a blood sample) it could some time to figure out an actual honest to goodness cure for this.

DXIV: Just give me a fucking panacea.

RM: Vhatever, commmander. (withdraws a pill bottle containing white pills)

DXIV: (greedily swallows one and begins to feel some immediate relief from all of the symptoms - yes all of them. The panacea is a cure-all named so after the Greek goddess of health and is the rumored to be cure for all diseases and ailments. It is often associated as the byproduct produced by the philosopher's stone :pinkiehappy: )

RM: Better?

DXIV: Much. You are dismissed now.

RM: Very well (leaves while leaving the vile of drawn blood on the desk)

DXIV: Glados.

Glados: Yes?

DXIV: I want a full analysis of this concoction that I was drugged with at the diner.

Glados: How do you know that it was there?

DXIV: It is a public place and the local paper stated that there was an outbreak of food poisoning. Two and two makes four.

Glados: So, that's it, analyze this and get back to you on the full details.

DXIV: Show me the security tapes from the diner.

Glados: What?

DXIV: I know that you hacked into them because THIS FUCKING ORGANIZATION LIKES TO KEEP ME ON A TIGHT-ASS LEASH!

Glados: You're mad about the summons.

DXIV: Of fucking course!

Glados: Fine.

DXIV: (watches the tapes until he notices a dog shaped object pouring something from a thermos into the drinks and food for all patrons at the restaurant) So, it was him, that Brown-Dog.

Glados: What should we do about him?

DXIV: Figure out where he is and then... (smiles, just smiles) we're going to send him a little present.

(Door thrusts open with Raindrops standing in the doorway as a woman enters the room)

Raindrops: I tried to stop her but...

Female figure: Daedaltheus you bloody asshole, what the hell is this news about you being called before the Council for crimes against RED.

DXIV: Good to see you too. You know that at least one of those is made up (waves a hand dismissing Raindrops and Glados) and besides, I did it all in the name of the company.

FF: You seem to figure that you work for them.

DXIV: Please, without me, there would be no RED.

FF: They'll hang you for this you crazy (slowly blushes as he embraces her) sadistic (DXIV leans in) heartless (DXIV kisses said woman and afterwards she just stands there blushing in silence)

DXIV: Magnificent bastard.

FF: You took the words right out of my mouth.

DXIV: It must have been when I was kissing you. (leans back) You know, in the unlikely event that I could be dead after tomorrow's meeting, how about one last night of love.

FF: Please if they try to kill you, I might have to make an exception and kill Bateman for you.

DXIV: Why Miss Integra Fairbrooks Wingates Hellsing I do believe that I am in love.

Integra: (presses a switch that causes all of the office windows to go pitch black) Show me.

The Brown Dog materializes in the house he slept in the night before. It’s not his place, but he stayed there since the owners were out. And now there house is a wreck with In N Out wrappers and garbage everywhere.

BD: Well that was fun, what say you we go to In N Out?

Cortana: You’ve eaten nothing but In N Out for god knows how long, why don’t you eat something healthy?

BD: You’re right, What-A-Burger it is!

Cortana: (sighs and facepalms) one day your heart is gonna give out on you

BD: It won’t if it knows what’s good for it. (Grabs his Laptop) OK, let’s go.

Cortana: Wait

BD: What?

Cortana: You’re not going to set the place on fire?

BD: (Rolls his eyes) I don’t burn everything you know, besides the owners of this place unknowingly housed me so I owe them.

Cortana: Oh, so trashing their place, raiding their food supply and selling all their stuff on craigslist is OK, but burning the house down is goig too far?

BD: Ya, that would be just plain rude

Teleport to nearest What-A-Burger. They are open 24 hours, and it is the late night shift. The Brown Dog orders his food to the clearly stoned cashier

BD: Yeah, I’ll take a number two with everything, add cheese and ketchup, and a Dr. Pepper to drink please.

Cashier: ….(stares at the Brown Dog with Blood shot eyes in awe and confusion)

BD: …

Cashier: …Dude…are…are you a talking dog?

BD: No

Cashier: …

BD: …

Cashier: Oh…OK then man. That will be $7.53

The Brown Dog pays, gets his food and goes to a corner booth.
He starts chowing down messily like the dog he is.

Cortana: You’re a pig

BD: Hey now, that’s just offensive to pigs

Cortana: Whatever

BD: Anyway, I’ve been thinking

Cortana: You have?

BD: Shut up, I’ve been thinking that even though that Diner burnt down under mysterious circumstances, which could’ve have really been anyone’s fault

Cortana: (Rolls her eyes)

BD: I really think we should cover our tracks

Cortana: You think?

BD: Hell ya, I don’t want to pay someone reparations for something that I may or may not have done.

Cortana: Which you totally did

BD: Shut up, and see if there was any surveillance footage.

Cortana looks like she’s concentrating and pulls up some files.

Cortana: Well it looks like the surveillance data survived your little pyro-mania, oh and look incriminating evidence.
(Video of Brown Dog pouring Colon Blow Ex Machina into food)

BD: I only see a handsome as hell dog, Who could be any dog, poisoning the air and food. I see no fire.
(Video Shows Brown Dog laughing and throwing Molotov cocktails)

Cortana: You were saying?

BD: This still proves nothing

Cortana: (Sarcastically) Of course it doesn’t.

BD: (Drinks Dr. Pepper then belches loudly) Besides, I know just what to do (smiles)

Cortana: Oh lord, there goes your scheming face again, and it’s covered in ketchup.

BD: (Licks his face clean)

Cortana: Still not better…so what’s your brilliant plan?

BD: Cortana my dear, alter the footage to where that sexy beast on camera is instead replaced with someone I despise.

Cortana: Michael Bay?

BD: No he’s still imprisoned in my basement, but close…(smiles)

Video Footage is altered to show Shia Labeouf poisoning the food and setting fires.

Cortana: Done and done.

BD: You sound proud

Cortana: Hey I hate that little shit too.

BD: Good girl

Cortana: Now what?

BD: We find some new lodgings.

Cortana: (sigh) looking up houses in the area with tenants on vacation.

BD: Don’t bother, there’s a nice little motel right there

(Points to Motel across the street with a Black 1967 Chevy Impala in the parking lot)

Cortana: Does that car belong to who I think it does?

BD: Eyup, my favorite brother duo, let’s get a room right next them then go say hi

Cortana: They might try to kill you

BD: I know, it’ll be fun!

Cortana: (Face Palm)

BD: You keep doing that and you’re gonna short circuit.

Meanwhile in the one bedroom apartment of a former major celebrity turned hack…

Rip Van Winkle stands with her back to Shia LeBouf, who is presently sitting in a chair tied with industrial strength rope in intricate knots as Asuka Langley holds a baseball bat covered in blood.

Asuka: You know, I’ve been practicing my tennis swing lately and doing a real simple exercise, Mr. Le-Bitch. Backhand! (smacks him with the bat) Forehand! (smacks him again) BACKHAND! FOREHAND! BACKHAND! FOREHAND!

SB: I told you, I don’t know anything! Please stop hitting me!

Rip: Look, ve have knowledge on gute authority zat you are ze one who burned down ze café.

SB: It wasn’t me!

Asuka: Show him the vial, Rip. (Rip van Winkle pulls out a vial filled with a bizarrely colored liquid) You poured this into the food at the Crossroads Café and poisoned our employer, the head of RED Division 42 and then proceeded to burn down the establishment!

SB: Wait, did you say yesterday?

Asuka: Yes.

Rip: Yah.

SB: I spent the entire day lamenting my life choices and marathoning Girls Gone Wild videos until I passed out in a pile of Cheetos.

Asuka: (looks around the apartment and sees a large orange smudge on the carpet from Cheetos and a stack of DVDs sitting on the coffee table). Well, shit.

Rip: Looks like ve have ze wrong person.

Asuka: Hmm, but if it wasn’t him, then who?

SB: Does that mean I am free to go?

Rip: No. You are still a vile, horrid human being and should be punished.

Asuka: Agreed.

SB: WHAT?!

Rip: Was sollten wir tun, um ihn? (what should we do to him)

Asuka: Stellen Sie die Wohnung in Brand und beobachten aus dem Bürgersteig, wie es brennt auf den Boden. (Set the apartment on fire and watch from the sidewalk as it burns to the ground.)

Rip: Das ist zu gut für ihn. (That's too good for him.)

Asuka: (gets a sparkle in her eye) Ich habe eine Idee. ( I have an idea) turns him towards his flat screen TV and pulls up the YouTube application) And set it so that it marathons for about the next week and done. Congrats, you live but now you watch this instead of barely legal girls getting naked.

Rip: Auf Wiedersehen!

Asuka: Bye, fuckhead.

SB: (screams like a little girl)

Asuka: Well that was a bust.

Rip: Yah, a total vaste of time.

Asuka: I’m feeling rather hungry, want to catch a bite to eat.

Rip: Sure. (gets into a 1960 Cadillac Coupe de Ville) There’s a new burger place down the street zat ve passed on ze vay in.

Asuka: (gets into the convertible next to Rip, who is driving) Oh, you mean the Big Kahuna Burger about ten minutes back. Sounds good to me.

Five minutes later-

Asuka and Rip sit down at a table, each one with a burger, fries and Seven Up sitting at a table underneath a small TV playing the local news but for now a commercial plays. A group of men and women wearing blue overalls carrying various tools turn to face the approaching camera.

Group: We are Omni International.

An elderly man cleaning him car: I am Omni International.

A group of Japanese business men: Watashitachiha, omuniintānashonarudesu.

A group of school children: We are Omni International!

The commercial comes to an end as the screen goes black to reveal an actor sitting in a chair on the set of a television show.

JA: Hi, I’m Jensen Ackles, you know me from the hit show Supernatural. Nearly twenty years ago, when the world’s economy collapsed, we faced utter destruction of our way of life. That was until Omni International Corporation’s CEO saved our hides. OIC is still hiring so do your part and continue to help repair the world.

Announcer: Omni International Corporation – Building a better tomorrow through perseverance today.

Asuka: That is the fifth time I have seen that damned thing today.

Rip: (chewing on her burger) RED gave Daedaltheus a million dollars so he made a commercial for his company.

Asuka: But they play OIC commercials all the damned time.

Rip: Zey are ze 96 percent shareholder for the entire planet.

Asuka: Don’t remind me. (finishing her meal)

Rip: Und ve are no closer to finding our target.

Asuka: Again, don’t remind me. We’ve been looking all damned day long.

Rip: Ve might get a break.

Asuka: Yeah like the news is going to do a story about a mad arsonist with an affinity for mixing chemical poisons.

Announcer: Our top story: The search still continues for the mysterious arsonist who last week set fire to three apartment complexes, two schools, a statue of Cecil Baldwin, three cars and poisoned an entire supply of caramel ice scream.

Asuka: Well fuck me.

Rip: See, a break.

Announcer: The only photo we have of the suspect is a dog wearing sunglasses though we believe that this woman wearing blue with bluish purple skin is the one actually perpetrating the crimes because as we all know, dogs have no thumbs.

Rip: Ya but neither do ze ponies who wrap up ze vinter but ze still make it happen.

Asuka: Damn straight.

Announcer: We reached out to his only known associate, a man who lives in a cardboard box and claims to have been a spy during the Cold War for any leads on his whereabouts.

Snake: I ain’t seen the dude since last June when we went to the In-and-Out Burger.

Reporter: You mean the woman.

Snake: Nah, that’s his chick, some lady called Cortana or some (bleep). He’s the dog, man, talking (bleep) dog.

Reporter: And now onto the weather.

Asuka: You thinking what I’m thinking, Rip?

Rip: Time to go spy hunting.

The two exit the restaurant and walk to the car, Rip starts it and turns on her MP3 player.

Rip (singing along): Zhree months of vinter coolness und awesome holidays. Ve kept our hoofsies varm at home, time off from vork and play.

Asuka: (hits next)

Rip: Hey!

Author's Note

status: unedited

The Inquisition

The Inquisition

Sorry for the delay everyone. It promise that it won't happen again.... not in the near future at least

You let out a sigh as he speaks to you. You've spoken to him plenty of times sure, and you've never had any real problems with him up until this point, but the sound if his voice it just.... just..... You can't really describe it. It just irritates you.

"Please, rise," you say to him, ignoring the awful pun that you just made with his name. He seems to ignore it too as he stands back up and looks straight at you.

Find out every possible inch of this incident. Have testimonies of somepony who was a part of the riot or someone who also knew what's going on as well. If there are contradictions, pry the truth out of him! Summon somepony whose preferably a neutral voice, and one who knew all the details.

Ask "Why?"

Ok, before you ask your questions, calm yourself. And don't tell me you're calm; I saw that barely contained rage inside your mind. Breathe in, breathe out.

Celestia don't destroy him right off the bat you have to remain calm and collect about this first ask him about the events that took place down in Ponyville while he was down there. Then ask him why he shot Derpy Hooves in the head which then lead to a mass riot in Ponyville. If anything that really isn't keeping the peace in politics. And finally the most important question you should ask him is why he didn't run this by you and the senate first. Sure he may have killed a traitor, but the situation got out of hand pretty fucking fast and more ponies got hurt in the process if anything he should be impeached from the senate for his actions.

Celestia, he is so obviously evil because of this most recent act that he should be removed from office, locked up, banished, assassinated, turned insane and then hung drawn and quartered. But you are a fair ruler. You extend a precise 30cm and always give a straight line. As such, you will listen to his side, calmly explain his mistake, then crush him into atoms and spread him like jam upon the universe.

Actually, that's stupid for contextual reasons... Celestia asks Risen Flagg a question.

With that, you close your eyes for a moment, and then breathe in.... and out..... and then in.... and out one last time as you try your best to remain calm. Granted the key word in that sentence is "trying". Every particle of you wants to incinerate him for what he did, but you are better than he is, you know that. You've been ruler of this nation for well over 1000 years. You've had experience, good and bad, and that experience has taught you more than anything, not to sink to his level.

"I assume you know why you are here?" You say to him before anything else.

"Yes," he responds. "I believe that I do." By You, you hated his voice.

At that, you take in one more deep breath. If you're going to do this, best to get it over with now.

"Very well," you say to him. "Then my first question must be, why did you publicly execute Derpy Hooves?"

“Why my dear Princess," he begins, "of course the mare was the one guilty of all the charges, and more specifically of the destruction of a very expensive research facility, one that was paid for out of the kindness of the tax paying citizens of Equestria that elected myself to office.”

Question the legitimacy of the execution. Was the evidence even legit? What's up with the riot? Those guards who were a part of it weren't real guards either.
Most of all, what is Risen's motive? What was his deal with him and the government?

Amongst other things, this'll probably come up, so you might wanna ask "Were you truly certain that mare was her?" when the picture will be brought up. I'm pretty sure you're aware of Changelings, at least.
Other than that, I got nothing. Just stay calm

Point is, ask him out about everything that is related to Derpy's death.

How do you know she was the one who did the crime?

“Are you absolutely certain of this?” You ask him. Of course you don't show it, but you really would love to know just how in tartarus he explains this.

“Yes," he says to you. "We had the recording of her voice compared and tested against previous voice samples gathered by the CIA during some of their.... Less than positive monitoring activities during Ponyville’s, shall we say, colorful history. Granted, I know that you are thinking through several scenarios in which I was wrong, I mean after all, I am but a single lowly politician with dreams of a truly safe and secure Equestria with nothing else on the mind. You, on the other hoof are a princess, no, the princess of Equestria. Your gaze knows no bounds and your knowledge of the known world is unparalleled.” By You, you really hate it when he talks like that, and he often does.

“Flattery does not work on me, Risen Flag," you say to him.

“And then you shall have none," he responds "For I have none to offer but words of the truth, dearest princess of the risen sun. The world as you know it faces a calamity brought about by enemies that lie within your very borders.”

“Which is the point I was trying to reach," you say to him, now with more authority. "Are you absolutely certain that it wasn't perhaps was a changeling in the guise of Miss Hooves and not Miss Hooves herself?”

“Certainly,” is the only word he says to you.

“Then why did you execute her!?" you ask him, using practically all of your willpower not to use the royal Canterlot voice. "Capital punishment is stricken from Equestrian Law for a reason, because it is too severe a punishment to fit any crime, even treason.”

“Celestia," he says, as if to calm you down. "You fail to see the very corruption that lies beneath your hooves, that lies beneath your eyes, even though they are all seeing. Conspirators are trying to destroy this world, this society, the very fabric of the culture you have carefully constructed to ensure the safety of all lives. The changelings have infiltrated society.”

Question the legitimacy of the execution. Was the evidence even legit? What's up with the riot? Those guards who were a part of it weren't real guards either.

“Then why was Miss Hooves not tested?” you ask him. Since their last attack on Canterlot, you figured that they might return, and thus, preparations were of course made.

Well... Celestia, you are clearly not incompetent. More than 1000 years of rule attests to that. ROLL DIPLOMACY AND SENSE MOTIVE!!! Also, what sort of creature could forge surveillance footage? Possibly a certain species with a proclivity for changing? Remember to keep all of this close to the chest, so to speak. That Risen Flagg has gotten where he is and violated the law so casually speaks volumes about what his so-called "evidence" must be. Also, a bit of a TRUTH spell may be in order if things get out of hand. Specifically look for anything that registers as too true. Flagg may have something up his sleeve.

If he shows Video or other "Evidence" of Derpy's involvement, ask him if he's ever heard of friggen Changelings before. The dumbass. Review the footage and see if her eyes flash like changelings do. If not, still tell him he couldn't have known for sure.
Tell him that whether he feels justified or not, he still publicly executed someone without sanction, and that that is grounds for his status as Senator being Terminated and being put on trial himself.
This is your country Damnit, not his.

“Because she was brainwashed and hypnotized to work for them!” he practically shouts back at you. This..... you were not prepared for.

“What?” is all you can say.

“Recently, it has come to my attention that certain members of society have disappeared and then reappeared acting strange and somehow completely out of normal character, or at least the information that I have gleamed from CIA reports," he begins explaining to you. "The strangeness of such culminating when I brought my concerns to the CIA’s lead investigators, only for them to turn me down and refuse to investigate my claims. As such, I cultivated my guards, those that acted in character according to all records of course, and tasked them with the performance of my own private investigation of which the findings are truly disturbing.”

At that, the moment he was finished with that explanation, almost like he practiced it, Risen Flag suddenly produced a folder from a satchel he was carrying with him. Slowly, you take it from him with your magic, and opened it up. Inside, the folder was filled with various images of new machines and more specifically, of changelings working on said machines with pencil sketch schematic drawings.

“What is this?" you have to ask him.

“The changelings know that we can identify them by their eyes and the green blood so their queen has devised a new method by which to mimic ponies: hypnosis," he begins as you turn to an image of a pony being fitted with the head harness and the activation of the machine. "These ponies are captured, and then brainwashed into a suggestive state wherein the commands are imprinted before the ponies are put to sleep. They wake up hours later and go about their daily lives as if nothing happened, but there are after effects that do arise, though those vary from pony to pony.”

“How are you certain of this?” you ask him. You.... you cannot believe what you are seeing. This can't be true.

“We tried it on a guard pony," he tells you.

“What?” You say as you almost drop the folder.

“We reconstructed the machine and tried it on an ordinary guard, of which you will find the research notes on the next page,” he explains, at which point you notice a series of paperclip bound pages. “We suggested that when we whistled he would break out into a song and dance routine of Little Teapot, which he did once we whistled the following day.”

“But that still doesn’t explain the outright killing of Derpy Hooves!" You shout at him as you practically throw the folder back at him, which he catches with his magic. "Even if all of this is true, as you claim it is, her execution is still unanswered for.”

“One of my private guards found a series of commands with ponies names next to it and managed to take a photograph of it before he escaped.” At that, Risen Flagg opened the file back up and floated a certain page to you. Slowly, you look down to see a photo of hoof written notes, which, of course, had Derpy Hooves' name on it. However, more horrifying than that, next to it, on the right of it next to her name, ‘Command a team to infiltrate the research and manufacturing center, await further instructions from team members.’ Next to that however, much to your shock and horror, was the command ‘Kill Princess Celestia.’ “Are there any more questions, Princess?”

“No," you say to him as you slowly look away from his and bring a hoof to your face. It just.... it couldn't be true. "No I just have to digest all of this."

"I understand, your majesty," he says to you as he puts the folder back in the satchel. It takes you a moment, but you do manage to regain your composure.

First inquire what kind if acts he accused derpy of. Then ask him about the riot. Then find out how he wants to mend the damage he did. THEN INCINERATE THE FLYING FUCK OUT OF HIM CAUSE YOU ARE CELESTIA, GODDESS OF THE SUN AND.... I watched too much Ponies reanact Yu-Gi-Oh (awesome vid. Go check it out if you haven't yet).

What made you think this was a good idea?

"But what about the riot?” you have to ask him. "How-"

“Started by that human, Mister Jason Morgan after he witnessed the death of Miss Hooves," he says to you before you could even finish. "Regrettable, but unavoidable in order to save the beloved life of your majesty. He just didn't understand that sometimes in order to prevent a greater tragedy, a little tragedy must be committed, though if I could do it over, I would like to rethink my actions.”

"As you should," you say to him, though.... as much as you want too.... you can't think of anything else to say to him. You.... you just-

"Will that be all, princess?" he asks you, as if waiting for something.

"What-," you say, somewhat distracted by all of this new information. "Um, yes, that will be all for now. You may return to your office."

"Thank you, your majesty," he says as he unceremoniously turns around and starts walking out of the throne room. You..... you don't want to believe him, you really don't, in fact your better judgment is telling you to incinerate him right now, but... There have been a lot of ponies that have suggested that you use truth detection spells on ponies when you, or others, interrogate them like this, but you've always been against it for varying reasons, mostly because it does rob them of their free will somewhat, and you don't want to make your subjects afraid of you.

But the truth is... with this.... you cast that spell on Risen the moment he walked in the room. Thankfully he didn't seem to notice it, or even if he did, he pretended not to notice, but you know what you did. You cast the truth spell on him. You've tried it on countless others, others whose willpower was stronger than you could have believed, and it's worked on them, so.... so there is no reason it wouldn't work on Risen Flagg.

It's just.... It's just.... you need a moment.

-A short amount of time later-

PERSPECTIVE SHIFT:

Clustershine

You are Clustershine, a thestral (more commonly known to others as a batpony) formerly of Princess Luna's royal guard, and second in command of the Canterlot Intelligence Agency, otherwise known as the CIA.

With everything that's been happening lately, you haven't been able to catch anything remotely resembling a break in the past week, and the incident in Ponyville was the straw that broke the camel's back. Word of it had already reached Canterlot, and you couldn't even begin to predict how long it would take before the rest of Equestria heard about it. Now, like any pony would act in a situation like this, the ponies of Equestria are worried, they want answers, and you, in your position, are the one who has to help give it to them.

This task has been...... well, extremely difficult would be an understatement, but you couldn't think of a better way to describe how hard it's been for you. You're too tired. Tartarus, you can't even remember the last time you slept right now.

The incident in Ponyville was one thing, but the AIA, he had to claim that they were somehow involved too. This fact, among other things, was what was making this more difficult for you. The more you thought about it, the more you couldn't help but think of Grey Rebl, your former partner. The two of you were closer than brothers during your time together as agents, but that was years ago. The last time you saw him was.... he had just attained his position as head of the AIA. Even right now you still wore the necklace he gave you. He wears a matching one. If the rumors of the AIA's involvement is true, then...... You didn't even want to think about any of this right now, it was only making your head hurt.

Even right now as you walked through the hallways of Celestia's royal palace on your way to the office of the one pony you knew who could give you answers right now, it was all just too much for you right now. You don't even think as your body just goes through the motions as it's supposed to right now, just like a robot.

Without even thinking, you raise a hoof and knock on the door as you reach the office of the one you came to see.

"Come on," a rather droll voice says from the other side. You unceremoniously push open the door and walk in the moment those words hit your ears. You don't look, but you hear the door close behind you as you walk in.

There is only one other pony in the room that you can see. Currently he's looking away from you out his window at the city of Canterlot.

"You wanted to see me?" you say to him to make your presence known.

"Clustershine," Risen Flagg says as he turns around to face you. "Yes, in fact I did."

What do you do?

-Side Story-

(Quick Author's note: I thought it was kind of implied last time, but apparently some of you didn't really get the message. So I'm just going to tell you right here... right now. You all can start writing for the side story again. I'm allowing it.)

-Appaloosa-

Sidestory
~~~~~

The secretary knocked on the Director's office door.

GreyRebl: Come in.

There, the secretary saw him staring intently into his computer. He sipped on a cup of coffee, absent mindly giving her a mere glance, but only to stare back at the computer screen. In her telekinesis was a file of measureable importance.

Secretary: I see you've already moved the computer back. I take it something interesting had come to light?
GR: Yes. Actually, there were more questions. As of right now, one of the hackers have given me a typed report. The ship had been attacked apparently, and the crew members have suffered casualites during the time we were disconnected. Swimming Dalek is recovering from his insanity that resulted in the confrontation. The Ensign's captain and his medical and biological experts had returned from a recon in Ponyville, of which we weren't properly informed of. They accidently arrived with an Equestrian, a zebra no less!

The Director frowned at the last bit, and so did the Secretary, but a moment later he grinned.

GR: I'm willing to be that he met one of our agents. Their sunglasses were made to detect almost anything, they are bound to see them as suspicious. I hope to inform them both of each other's presence. Nana is aiding medical staff on healing him and BRP.
S: Almost exactly what I was briefed with the workers. The lab ponies are working on the clock to make up lost time and are trying to discuss with the aliens about ways to prevent this from happening again. The Daleks and Hackers were... eccentric with their ideas. So were our workers.
GR: Oh, and the Bomb?
S: The team is finishing up investigation. It'll be confiscated or be ready for use, depending on how the Head Research likes your idea. Anyways, sir, about why I'm here...

Grey Rebl finally looked away from the screen.

GR: Yes, what is it?
She laid the files on his desk. Curious, Grey Rebl pulled out the papers from inside.
S: There were reports of strange activity among the populous up in the surface in Appoloosa. Even the tribal buffalo had noticed. Ponies testified that the townsfolks were acting... out of nature. There were also contradictions in their habitul patterns. Family members are getting worried. One of our agents had a good eye on several of the other details.
GR: Does the pony happen to go by the name "Sunglasses"?
S: One of your eccentric students? Yes. The surface agents are waiting for your decision.
GR: Hmm... Funny, I have just received news that may or may not be related to this.
S: From whom?
GR: Agents and Operatives Braeburn and Little Strongheart via P-Mail. Their report is sent to my computer.
S: Ah, yes, their mission. How did it go?
GR: Failure, this "Doctor" didn't exist.

She frowned.

S: Oh. That's too bad...
GR: That's not it, though. Apparently, Risen Flagg had made a public execution.
If Grey noticed the secretary's bewildered face, he ignored it.
GR: Not only that, but the accused was said to be the one who helped send that huge bomb from Los Pegasus. There happened to be evidence of it. Going by the name Ditzy Doo, or Derpy Hooves, she was simple mail mare, and it was likely that she wasn't the one who did it, given the personal accounts from third parties. She was killed on the spot by the Senator himself with a firearm with no trial whatsoever. He accused the AIA of going against Equestria. The CIA is probably gonna have a headache over this incident. A riot ensued, and the royal guards who were present did little to stop it, rather, they added to it, maliciously. It was confirmed that "sickly green glow was present around them"... And what a coincidence, we have reports of "strange behaviour" on our end.
The two locked eyes, their minds clicked in place when they connected the dots. With the symptoms present, they made a conclusion:
S: Changlings... Here? With Risen Flagg involved even... But what could this mean?
GR: More than likely, they've already infiltrated Appoloosa, maybe trying to find our base... Risen planned this. With the way it was all prepared and organized, I'd say the changlings and him are under an alliance. That bomb that was sent to us? The changlings in the surface are trying to create evidence of us having the bomb! It's practical proof that we ARE the bad guys! Perhaps he had BEEN doing this with other agencies...

It was then the two figured it out. Politcally, Risen may be trying to take control of the Equestrian government. The power that could be in his hooves... Publicly, and Nationally... In stunned silence, the two took the time to gather up their resolve. It was time to plan.

S: This is a mess... Insane... We need to get rid of that bomb.
GR: ...In an unrelated note, there's more news to be said on here.
S: What?!
GR: Applejack, the Element of Honesty, have found Braeburn out...
S: One of the famed Apple Clan. And Their daughter no less...
GR: It was time that she learned the truth of the Apples and her parents anyways. After all, we are in a national crisis. She may be an asset, and could help turn this in our favor. Not mention that other human, who was now hospitalized.
S: ...What should we do, sir?
Grey took out a piece of paper and a quill with ink, he scribbled upon on it and hoofed it over to his secretary. With a brief read on the note, her eyes widened, jaw dropping.
GR: Send this to the CIA.
S: S-sir, is this?
GR: Yes, it is. After the sudden shut downs of other agencies, there's only the AIA and the CIA. WE are what's left! There's no pony else to do this, but us and our allies up in the skies! We are going to make a full scale operation in PONYVILLE, and we are going use what we have made here in this facillity to get it done! Tell the staff and operatives to make a "surprise" for our fellow invading insects.

He grins widely.

GR: They're not the only expert infiltrators in this world. And it ain't big enough for the both of us. I'm very sure that they think the same. Otherwise, I'm making us combustible lemons.

*Grey Rebl's secretary enters his office to see that some of the lab ponies have hooked up a computer to his desk so that he doesn't have to move to the communications room to talk to the aliens. By our standards it's ancient as far as technology goes, but for them, it's a brand spanking new thing. Anyway, that's not important, Grey Rebl was staring absent mindedly at the screen and only gave his secretary a meek glance as she walked in. In her telekinesis was a file.*

Secretary: I take it something interesting had come to light?

Grey Rebl: Yes, though a lot of it only raises more questions than I'd like. As of right now, one of the hackers has given me a typed report of what happened up there. The ship had been attacked apparently, and some of the crew members have suffered casualties during the time we were disconnected, including, Swimming Dalek and BRP, both of whom are presently recovering. Not only that, but The Enterprise's captain and his medical and biological experts have just returned from a recon in Ponyville, of which we weren't properly informed of. Apparently when they were pulled back they accidentally took an Equestrian with them, a zebra no less. Nana is aiding medical staff on their recovery.

*Grey Rebl paused for a moment at that as he had to explain that to her.*

GR: I'm hoping bet that they at least met with one of our agents. Their sunglasses were made to detect almost anything, they're bound to see them as suspicious.

S: Yes, I was briefed on that with the workers. The lab ponies are working double time to make up for lost time and are trying to discuss with the aliens ways to prevent this sort of thing from happening again. Registered Anonymous' hackers were... eccentric with their ideas. So were our workers.

GR: What about the bomb?

S: The team is finishing up investigation. It'll either be confiscated or be ready for use, depending on how the Head Research likes your idea. Anyways, sir, about why I'm here...

*At that, Grey Rebl finally looked away from the screen.*

GR: Yes, what is it?

*At that, his secretary laid the files on his desk. Curious, Grey Rebl pulled out the papers from inside.*

S: There've been some reports of strange activity among the populous on the surface in Appoloosa. Even some of the tribal buffalo have noticed a few things. Ponies testified that the some of the townsfolk were acting... out of nature. There were also contradictions in their habitul patterns. Family members are getting worried. One of our agents had a good eye on several of the other details.

GR: Did the agent happen to go by the name "Sunglasses"?

S: One of your eccentric students? Yes, the-

*Suddenly, from the door to the office, one of the other AIA workers, a common errand colt, ran right into the office without knocking first, he seemed... out of breath.*

Errand Colt: SIR!

GR: What is it?

EC: This just arrived from Canterlot.

*At that, the errand colt suddenly dropped what looked like a rather large report on the director's desk. Grey Rebl and his secretary looked at it for a moment before they both turned their attention to the errand colt who brought it in. While he was out of breath, that wasn't the only thing they saw, but they couldn't place it. Grey Rebl then looked back at the report. While his instinct fully warned him that something was up and that he shouldn't open it, against his better judgement, he opened it and proceeded to read. Over the course of a few minutes, as he read the file, his eyes progressively got wider and all the color seemed to drain from his face.*

S: Sir...

*Grey Rebl didn't even give her a chance to say anything else as he closed the file and looked back at the errand colt.*

GR: When did this happen?

EC: Y.... Yesterday sir.

S: Sir, what's going on.

*Grey Rebl had to take a moment before he could say anything.*

GR: Risen Flagg.....

S: Yes, sir, what about him?

GR: He... He made a public execution.

*If Grey even noticed the bewildered look on the secretary's face, he ignored it.

GR: He claimed that the accused was the one who helped send us that huge bomb from Los Pegasus. One Derpy Hooves, a was simple mail mare, despite personal accounts from third parties, including her husband, he had evidence against her and.... She was killed on the spot by the Senator himself with a firearm with no trial whatsoever.

*At that, the secretary's eyes seemingly went as wide as his.*

GR: That's not all... He claimed that she was working with us. That she deliberately sent us that bomb.

S: Why?

GR: According to him..... because we're trying to overthrow Equestria.

S: WHAT!?

GR: I don't want to believe it either, but it's all there. This report wasn't written by anyone associate with him, at least as far as I know, so for now we have to believe that there is a possibility that it might be true.

*There was silence between everypony there for a few moments.

GR: It gets worse. After he executed Derpy, a riot ensued, and the royal guards who were present did little to stop it, rather, they added to it, mali-

*Suddenly, a spark went off in the director's eyes, both the secretary and the errand colt saw it. They watched him for a moment as he seemed to connect a bunch of dots in his head.*

GR: Your report!

S: What!?

GR: Your report, the one you just gave me!

S: It's still on your-

*Grey Rebl didn't even wait for her to finish before he pushed the report on what happened in Ponyville aside and pulled out the file his secretary had just given him again. He read it for only a few moments before a look of horror struck his face.*

GR: No...

S: Sir...

*Without even letting her say anything else, Grey Rebl took out a piece of paper and a quill with ink, he scribbled upon on it for only a few seconds before he quickly hoofed it over to the errand colt.*

GR: Send this to the CIA!

EC: Sir...

GR: NOW!

EC: Right!

*At that, the errand colt took the note from Grey Rebl and ran out of the room as quickly as he had came in.*

GR: You!

S: Yes!

GR: Get agents on the surface. I want eyes on the ponies in this report. Tell them not to let any of them out of their sight, I don't even want them to sneeze without us knowing it!

S: Um, yes sir, but why?

*The director had to take a moment and take in a deep breath before he could say the next few words.*

GR: I fear we may have changelings in Appaloosa.

-The Enterprise-

R.A.: *busts out of the medical room he was in making bootleg medicine* BRP are you all right!? *punches the medical redshirt out of the way* Don't worry i got just the thing for ya! *pulls out a syringe filled with an explainable mixture of medical ingredients* This'll get ya back on your feet in no time, I learned how to make this from some science dude who made adrenaline shots. I think he was from a group called CEDA or something... *pauses to think about that time*

*Registered Anonymous keeps raiding through some random... storage... place, looking for chemicals and other things he can use to help heal BRP. He keeps taking things off the shelf, he looks as if he can't really carry anymore, but he still keeps grabbing stuff.*

Random Red Shirt: What do you think you're doing?

Registered Anonymous: GETTING THINGS TO HELP BRP WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE!?

RS: You do know that that's the broom closet right?

*Registered Anonymous pauses for a moment to look at the red shirt, and then back at where he was raiding. After only a few minutes of looking, he sees that it is, in fact, a broom closet, and that the things he had been grabbing were, in fact, cleaning supplies. One of which was even labeled "Pure Sodium Borate".*

RA: So it is..........

*Registered Anonymous looks back at the redshirt for a moment. Then, suddenly, he punches the red shirt in the face, knocking him out cold before he starts putting back everything he just pulled out.*

-The Enterprise: Med Bay-

*BRP (sans his armor), Gordon Freebrony, and Zecora are all sleeping on three individual med stations while Dr. McCoy and Nurse Ratchet look after the three of them. Bronze Statue is sitting in the corner half asleep, waiting for something to happen. Next to where he is sitting, in a nice little pile, is BRP's armor.*

-Somewhere on The Caesar-

*Swimming Dalek, who is still bolted to the wall of a specialized cell, has gotten unusually quiet.*

In the innermost recesses of Swimming Dalek's mind:

The following characters have returned to the command of SwimmingDalek98:

Swimming Dalek

Game of Twits

The Brown Dog sits in a motel room he holds a Supernatural poster with three signatures on it.
Cortana: Well that could have gone better.
BD: You kidding me? That was awesome!
Cortana: They tried to kill you!
BD: As if they could, but it’s the thought that counts.
Cortana: What?
BD: Sam and Dean Winchester tried to hunt me…I feel so honored (The Brown Dog smiles with a tear coming out of his eye)
Cortana: Because you teleported into their room you idiot!
BD: Ah yes, I remember it like it was yesterday
Cortana: It was 10 minutes ago!

10 Minutes Ago, or Maybe Yesterday? Who knows.
Sam and Dean Winchester are doing research on a string of murders in the town caused by a trickster. Then the Brown Dog teleports into the center of the motel room startling them.

BD: Hey Guys!
Dean: What the hell?! (Both he and Sam raise their pistols and aim them at the Brown Dog) A talking dog?
Sam: With sunglasses?
BD: Oh man I can’t believe it’s actually you! Big Fan! Big Fan! (Fangasms on the inside)
Sam: What are you!
BD: Excited!
He teleports in front of the Brothers with a very excited smile on his face, to them though it looks like he’s bearing his teeth

BD: Can I get your…
Sam and Dean both start shooting the Brown Dog since it looked like he was going to attack them. The bullets hit but don’t do anything. After they stop firing he finishes his sentence
BD: …Autograph? (Summons a Supernatural Poster with Sam and Dean and Castiel on it into his paw)
Dean: Autograph?
BD: Ya you guys are awesome! I got a lot of your memorabilia.
The Brown Dog Snaps his fingers….Somehow and a shit ton of Supernatural merchandise appears in the room.
Sam and Dean see this massive summons and jump to a logical solution.
Sam/Dean: Trickster!
Sam tackles the Brown Dog to the ground and starts punching him while Dean grabs a stake dipped in the blood of a recent trickster victim. Being punched though doesn’t hurt the Brown Dog as he kind of just takes it.

BD: Hey Sammy this is fun and all but I’m not actually a trickster
Dean: Bullshit! (Shoves stake into Brown Dog’s heart, which again, does nothing)
BD: See, told you.
Sam and Dean panic a bit and get up off the Brown Dog.
Dean: With the glasses, maybe it’s a demon!
They throw holy water at him, but nothing happens.

BD: Ha, just like the show, now do you want to check and see if I’m a Leviathan?
Sam: A what?
BD: (Eyes widen) Oh wait, unless this is before Season 7? Then forget I said anything.
Both Brothers are confused as all hell.
BD: Soooo….autographs? (Holds up poster again)
Dean: No, first you tell us what the hell you are poochie
Sam: Ya, if you’re not a trickster or demon then what? The only other thing that can do what you do is...
Castiel appears in the room behind the Brown Dog.
Castiel: An Angel?
The Brown Dog whips around in excitement

Castiel: He is no angel, I can tell you that much
BD: Cas! Oh Hell Ya, I Friggen love you man! You are just the best! (The Brown Dog spasms and wags his tail and jumps around like Pinkie Pie as he says this)
Castiel: That…is nice…I suppose.
Dean: Cas, what the hell is this thing?
Castiel: This is The Brown Dog
Dean: Yeah, no shit it’s a brown dog
Castiel: No, not A brown dog, THE Brown Dog
BD: OMG you know who I am (Squee)
Sam: Okay… what the hell is THE brown dog then?
Castiel: He is a cross dimensional traveler, one who can move throughout the different universes with ease. And he carries great power, as do all the travelers like him.
BD: Ain’t no one quite like me Misha (Smiles)
Dean: Okay, so what do we do about it?
Castiel: I would recommend doing as he says.
Sam: What, really?
Castiel: Travelers have the power to reshape entire universes, and The Brown Dog is said to be unpredictable and insane.
Cortana: You got that right
BD: Shut up blue Bitch!
(The Winchesters and Castiel look at his sudden outburst)
BD: Sorry, talking to the blue lady in my glasses. Please continue.
Castiel: …As you can see, it wouldn’t be wise to upset it.
Sam:…So…you want us to sign your poster?
BD: Eyup, and make it out to your biggest fan ever.
Sam picks up the poster and signs it with his pen then hands it Dean

Dean: This is so stupid. We have friggen insane gods as fans?
BD: Oh Dean, Sanity is over rated.
Dean: Whatever
Castiel then signs the poster by just waving his hand over it. The Brown Dog then shakes hands with everyone there because he wants to, and then takes a group photo since they don’t have a choice.
BD: Thanks guys, and now none of you will remember I was here. Until next time that is, Bye!
Dean: What?
The Brown Dog teleports out and the two humans and the angel look around confused
Sam: Ummm….
Dean: Cas?
Castiel: Yes?
Dean: What were we just talking about?
Castiel: I don’t know

Present time, or as present as one can get when Dimension hopping.
Cortana: And why did you mind wipe them?
BD: They got a lot on their minds right now, might as well keep them thinking in canon, for the time being that is. Besides, I got what I came for…(Holds up poster and just admires it)
Cortana: Well while you were gushing over your three man crushes, I’ve been doing work
BD: Oh, got any news on our next trollific journey? (asks excitedly)
Cortana: No, but you’ve made the news in one of the cross universes
BD: What?
Cortana displays the news report about Solid Snake knowing who he was.

Cortana: Well, there you have it, your dumbassery has made you wanted again.
BD: pfft…pfffttt…HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Cortana: and what’s so damned funny about this?
BD: HA HA HA… They think…HA HA you’re the one in charge. HAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Cortana: Damnit this is serious!
BD: I know, you better get a good lawyer
Cortana: Brown Dog!
BD: heh heh heh…OK, sorry but that was just too rich. Besides, I only burnt down most of the things they claimed. And some of them were justified
Cortana: The two schools?
BD: The Equestria Girls school and the one from Saved By the Bell
Cortana: The apartment complexes?
BD: Crack heads, Alien Gorillas, and Mardi Gras
Cortana: and the statue of Cecil Baldwin?
BD: That was not me, someone is framing me on that one.
Cortana: Seriously?
BD: Ya, I love that guy, he’s hilarious, why would I burn down his stuff?
Cortana: Well whoever it is, they may not stop with the statue, and do you really want Night Vale angry at you?
BD: Not especially, I love my shack by the bluffs.
Cortana: So…plan?
BD: Yes, but I’ll need some investigative types to help with clues.
Cortana: And what about Snake?
BD: What about him?
Cortana: What if he gives anything away?
BD: Like what? All I ever did was talk videogames and buy the guy In and Out Burger once in awhile, that’s it. You were there you know how he was a Castlevania nut. He thought I was a hallucination half the time too, but maybe that was because of the drugs. Oh and drugs, I gave him lots of drugs.
Cortana: Why?
BD: Because I accidentally ruined his career, and drugs food and games seemed like a suitable apology.
Cortana: How did you ruin him?
BD: I told him to invest in Blockbuster a few years back.
Teleports into the Multiverse.

Roseluck, when you get a chance please be a dear and contact me at the office, we have somethings to discuss. Additionally, please make sure to .....
Connection lost....

Meanwhile in New York City, 1989:

DXIV: I’m telling you, Integra, the food here is to die for.

Integra: If you say so. (looks skeptically at the large crowd swarming around the front entrance and inside of the foyer of the restaurant) I don’t think we’ll get a table here.

???: You would damned lucky if you can. (The couple turns to see a man in his mid-twenties standing next to a hardbody blonde waiting anxiously and vapidly looking around at the crowd).

Integra: Patrick Bateman, wasn’t expecting to see you until…

PB: Tomorrow at his (points to Daedaltheus) tribunal, I know. Therefore, you think that you can get a reservation here, please. I have been trying for months just to get a single seat at the bar.

DXIV: (smiles and turns to the host standing behind the counter) Hi, reservation for two.

Host: Name please.

DXIV: Daedaltheus Atriedes, party of two.

Host: (looks down the list) Ah, yes, reservation for two at nine, right this way, sir.

PB: YOU LOATHSOME SON OF A BITCH! HOW THE FUCK DID, YOU MANAGE TO…

DXIV: They always have a table for me at Dorsia. Ciao, Bateman.

PB: You’re a real asshole, you know that!

Integra: At least he’s not a serial killer.

PB: (looks nervous) Listen babe, I’ve got to go return some video tapes.

Daedaltheus and Integra sit down at the table, menus placed in front of them, Daedaltheus slipping the waitress what looks to be three hundred dollars and asks for drinks.

Integra: Managed to find your saboteur, yet?

DXIV: Not quite. The LeBouf lead proved to be a bust, and the footage was tampered with severely.

Integra: I see, so what does that mean for your investigation.

DXIV: I have top women working on it. (smiles but quickly draws to a frown as he gazes upon his lady friend) But they are not more top than you, my sweet darling of the night.

Elsewhere just outside of a gas station –

Rip: (walking back to the car) So, I ask ze attendant if he know anything about ze man in ze box.

Asuka: And…

Rip: Says that his name is Solid Snake und he comes by ze area sometimes asking for money and ranting on about ze dog.

Asuka: And…

Rip: He says, go three blocks down und six blocks over by ze old GameStop.

Five Minutes Later –

Asuka and Rip walk down an alleyway littered with various boxes and trash, as well as posters hanging about the brick clad walls of the neighboring buildings. On one poster is the Omni International Corporation logo, a single hand composed of dozens of smaller hands holding aloft the world, and others wanted posters for enemies of the state. The pair walked past the faces various characters, ranging from memorable to forgettable declared enemies during the Salvation. The two stopped when they came across a set of boxes, one with a reddish black robot with a specifically golden disc shaped head, shaking and jittering on about presumably nothing important. The other contained an aged old man in black and gray combat gear, though considerably faded with time.

Asuka: Huh, Snake and Alpha the fucking robot of Zordon in one nice package, this day just gets easier by the second.

Alpha: What do y…y…you mean by…by…that?

Rip: (BANG) Alpha, wanted on the crimes of annoyance and shear all around incompetence as well as contributing to rebel UN forces during the Salvation by appearing from your respective dimension. Crime according to the Ordinance of 1994, death.

Snake: (jumping out and making the alert noise) What the hell are you doing here! And where are my Cheetos?

Rip: Vat the hell?

Snake: Wait, you ain’t that dog.

Asuka: Jackpot (draws her pistol) so you are the one associated with the Brown Dog.

Snake: He brings me snacks!

Asuka: All the same, old man. Tell us where he is or at the very least where his base of operations is and we will let you go.

Snake: (leaps forward snatching the gun from Asuka and immediately turns on them) Ah no. I ain’t saying nothing to government spooks, haven’t since they let me go.

Rip: Vait, ve just vant some simple information, nothing more, nothing less, soldier.

Snake: And you, you seem all too familiar, even to this tired old dog.

Asuka: Rip, we have to do something or he’ll shoot us.

Snake: Yeah, you’re looking really familiar now, Rip Van Winkle.

Rip: I have an idea. Vozmozhno, vy pomnite , chto missiya yeshche v shestidesyatyye gody , tot, gde umer Bol'shoy Boss , pravil'nyy . (Perhaps you remember, that mission back in the sixties, the one where Big Boss died, right.)

Snake: Wait…

Rip: YA nazhal na kurok. YA vzyal yeye na prikazu moyego bossa , chtoby motivirovat' vas. (I pulled the trigger. I took her down on my boss's orders in order to motivate you.)

Snake: NO! (pulls the trigger as Asuka pulls out a knife and stabs Snake in the shoulder) AGH!

Asuka: (twisting the knife) Talk, now!

Snake: You killed Big Boss! You killed her!

Rip: She was a goddamned traitor and you know it.

Snake: She, she….

Rip: She betrayed you und if I hadn’t killed her, she would have killed you and the world would have devolved into a nuclear war.

Asuka: Now talk.

Five minutes and some crying later –

Snake: He’s got no real base, just hops from here to there, always with that same woman.

Asuka: I see, so how can we track him?

Snake: Follow the path of crazy that should get you closer to him. Oh yeah, he does like to hang out around the In and Out Burger. He’s also got that AI thing that’s hardwired into his sunglasses so you might be able to track that using a unique tracking software that pings his unique AI signature using the satellites around any given planet.

Rip: (taking notes) Anything else?

Snake: He likes that TV show Supernatural.

Rip: Thank you for all of your help, Snake und sorry about your robot friend, he was a wanted criminal.

Snake: No worries, he was just kind of there.

The pair walk to the end of the alleyway but Rip stops just short, looking back at Snake, she unslings her rifle.

Rip: Tinker, tailor, solider, sailor – My bullet punishes all vithout distinction. (the single round bursts forward and twists around the alleyway before shredding the former spy’s body) Solid Snake, vanted for crimes against the State including espionage, treason, selling of secrets and attempting to overthrow the State in 1997.

Asuka: So what do we do now?

Rip: Easy, ve go to Glados and get her to the write the program for us.

Asuka: And then the hunt begins.

Meanwhile in Russia, August 1979 –

Daedaltheus walks into a rundown yellow house where several figures wait for him, including one rather perturbed man in a finely tailored suit. The others included a short blonde man in a white suit, a blonde tall woman in a rather militaristic looking suit, a man in a lab coat and goggles, an alligator, and a penguin.

Councilman Swan: Gentlemen, let us call to order the RED Council and commune to order this tribunal.

Councilman Doctor Billy Horrible: The date is August 9, 1979, in the Strugatsky variant of Russia, located in the Zone.

Councilman Gummy: (blinks)

Councilman Patrick Bateman: We are here to commune the tribunal of the director of Division 42, also known as the Vault, for crimes against the organization and for violating the laws of the story.

Councilman Integra Fairbrooks Wingate Hellsing: Director, step forward and state your full name for the court to convene the tribunal.

DXIV: Daedaltheus Xenophon Ichabod Vladistov (XIV) Atriedes, Director of Division 42 of Read Extract Destroy, former assistant director and student to Sutter Cane.

Councilman Gunter: Wahn, wahn, whan wahn, wahn wahn. (Let us begin the trial of Daedaltheus).

Author's Note

status: edited

Inquiring about the inquisition

Kiro self-inserts again, just to push his luck.

Suddenly and without warning, a certain light red, pegasus stallion with a purple mane that could have only been the infamous Sir Kiro Osex XIII (formerly known as Kiro0613) spontaneously appeared in the corner of the room right behind Clustershine.

"Okay..." Kiro said to himself as he looked around the senator's rather nice office. "I'm here, so what do I-" Before he could even finish that sentence, the author, RazortheAwesome himself suddenly appeared in the room and started beating Kiro with a rolled up newspaper. Strangely enough, neither Clustershine nor Risen Flagg seemed to notice, in fact they didn't notice anything since they were frozen.

"NO NO NO NO NO NO! BAD KIRO!" Razor shouted as he hit him again with the rolled up newspaper. "BAD!"

"WHAT THE HELL MAN!" Kiro shouted angrily as he used his editor powers to make the newspaper disappear from Razor's hand. "WHY ARE YOU HITTING ME WITH A ROLLED UP NEWSPAPER!?"

"Cause its a rolled up newspaper," Razor explained to him, without actually explaining anything. "We're authors remember.... Well, in your case, you're an editor.... LOOK! The point is, we can't actually get hurt unless we want to. On the other hand, I just hit you with a rolled up newspaper, it doesn't hurt at all. So if I hit you with something like that-"

"Yeah, I get that," Kiro replied before Razor could even finish, not at all amused by his answer. "But WHY are you hitting ME with a rolled up newspaper?"

"Oooooooh," Razor sighed as he got what Kiro was really asking him. "Cause we already did that joke, remember."

"What joke?" Kiro asked, now confused as all hell.

"The joke where all the authors are in the same room together," Razor finally explained. "I mean, we already established in this story that authors, and editors in your case, are pretty much gods, so I can't have all of you running around the story like regular characters. Can you imagine what kind of unbridled chaos that would be?" At that, both Razor and Kiro's eyes widened in sudden realization as they both looked past the fourth wall. More specifically, at two authors in particular, one the thirteenth in a long family legacy, and the other a certain brown dog and at a certain game of twits they were having. "ANYWAY!" Razor eventually continued. "The point I'm trying to make is that I can only deal with so much bulls*** at any given time."

"Yeah I get what you're saying," Kiro said, really in full understanding. "So........ do you still-"

"Yes," Razor replied before he could even finish.

"Damn," Kiro said as he used his editor powers to disappear back to....... wherever the hell he normally is when he's not editing this story. Probably playing either Assassin's Creed or Minecraft, or both.

-Meanwhile, in a parallel universe whe- -

"WE'RE NOT DOING JOKE RIGHT NOW EITHER!!!!" Razor shouted at the subtitle before it could finish what it was typing out.

-Oh............ sorry-

"SIGH........" And with that, Razor disappeared and the story could now, properly, resume.

-Resume-

"Do that again and I'm replacing you with the Spongebob timecards again."

-Fine-

Well Clustershine, you get all the "Facts" from this senator, but take it with a Grain of Salt. Grey Rebl ain't no fucking traitor, there's gotta be something else afoot. Maybe you should let the princess herself know this, whether it be Luna or Celestia.

Clustershine do- whatever. Your job-thingy's a good thing probably. In fact, I could care less what you do. I'm just an annoying voice in your head that you've taken to ignoring. It's not like I'm telling you that Risen Flagg is actually a massive, nigh on impossible to imagine being of Madness from another dimension. Not that you would listen to me if I did.

Main Story:

With vocal chords deep and hoarse-throated, Clustershine was the poker face of the CIA. Originally a part of the pridefully milltaristic and stoic Lunar Guard, he was transfered into the Intelligence Agency for his powerful talent of getting information. His association with Director Grey Rebl: Drinking buddies and partners in a specialized team of infiltration and leading operations.

This hadn't been the first time Clustershine had been summoned by the Senator himself. In fact, it was also before Risen became senator. Through connections and his current seat of power, the CIA had been owing favors for him for various things. The first seat of the Agency, Cluster's boss, didn't like it one bit, having to owe so much, and said to be careful with him. Smart considering that the two never met in person, compared to Clustershine and Risen. Under the Senator's request, he wanted Clustershine specifically in most of his cases.

This is one of such case. However, this isn't about a favor this time.

Judging by recent news, his summons was about the publicized execution, and the AIA going terrorist. That's probably not the only thing. The CIA had found out Risen had done a private investigation and found evidence of changling infiltration, both right under their very muzzles no less! This is likely going to be discussed. Clustershine would look into the AIA later, for now, Risen wants something. Time to do the initiative.

"I assume this about the execution you've made and the evidence surrounding the AIA and the changlings?"

From their, go with the flow, and take your Boss' words into consideration.

Firstly, Cluttershine, it would be in your best interest to make sure that you stay calm and collected when talking with the senator. Additionally, be sure to ask him plenty of highly detailed questions.

Well Clustershine the only thing you can really do it listen to what Risen has to say about bringing you in there. However the thought of doing a jig on his desk enters your mind for a brief moment which makes you crack a small smile.

Clustershine...rumors are only a letter away from tumors. Ignore what you hear about the AIA. Grey Rebl was the most loyal pony that you ever knew. Now the evil monster ahead of you LITERALLY KILLED somepony! That isn't even a thing. So fuck him. Metaphorically. don't do what he wants.

Celestia that voice of his.... You've never been able to put your hoof on why, but everything about this senator just pisses you off. As a professional though, you keep it to yourself. You're called "The Poker Face of the CIA" for a reason after all. You've never really liked any of the Canterlot nobles anyway, except for maybe a few, so its not like Risen Flagg is any different. This isn't actually the first time you've met him even. You've met him several times already, though that was before he became a senator. Thanks to a series of connections, as well as his newly acquired seat or power, the CIA had owed him various favors, which they all knew he held close to the vest. That's not important right now though. You're here for a reason.

You've got to get the facts from him, but you know better than to just trust him straight up. After all, you've always had a talent in getting information. Tartarus, it was the reason they transferred you to the CIA from the guard in the first place. Celestia thinking about that just made you think of Grey Rebl again.

You met him when you were in the guard. At first the two of you were no more than drinking buddies until fate brought the two of you on a few missions together wherein you saved each others lives. If you knew him, and you indefinitely did, and nopony could tell you otherwise, then you knew he was no traitor. You knew him well enough to know at least that. As much as you just want to ignore the rumors about the AIA going around right now, the professional in you can't right now. You need to find out the truth.

"I assume this about the execution you've made in Ponyville and the evidence surrounding the AIA and the changelings?" You ask Risen Flagg. If you want the truth, then you better start somewhere.

Risen Flag, I believe that is in your best interest to stay especially calm and collected, given what you just told the princess. Moreover, what is this news I've heard about Derpy Hooves... (CONNECTION FAILED)

"Yes," the senator replied in the same, calm manner that neither you, nor your boss, ever liked. "You could say that."

The moment those words left his mouth, you suddenly heard three more sets of hooves in the room as three different spears of the royal guard were suddenly at your throat. One in front, one behind, and the last one pointed at the back of your head.

"What is the meaning of this!?" you practically shout at Risen Flagg. "I demand an explanation!" He had no authority to do this. Even as arrogant as he was sometimes, you knew there was no legal way he could pull something like this off.

"You see, my dear Clustershine," the senator responded to you in his usual manner. "The minute I took power, I understood one thing and one thing only about the way this ass-backwards wreck you call a nation works. The real power does not reside within the princesses. Oh, most certainly, they possess power, but the real power of the world comes in the form of knowledge, and where in all of Equestria does all of the knowledge reside but inside of your precious intelligence agencies, constantly evaluating and gathering said information. So, within three weeks of possessing the title of senator, I replaced one-third of all intelligence officers within the agencies with my own personal agents, save for one. By the end of three months, three of the most powerful western and northern intelligence agencies came under my total control and now, all but that one agencies is under my absolute control thanks to MY changeling agents."

“No, the Canterlot Intelligence Agency is still under our control, under the control of ponies,” You retorted. What he was saying was impossible, you knew it couldn't be true. Even if it was, you would have caught something, you always did. It was why they made you second in command of the CIA in the first place. At your words though, Risen Flag just laughed to himself, then withdrew a single device from his pocket and pressing the button on it. At the press of said button, a screen descended from the ceiling, as did a projector, which immediately began displaying the current CIA headquarters interior operations command center of which, at the center, stood Clustershine’s boss and close friend.

“This is a live feed from the CIA office, coming through a camera that I installed weeks ago,” Risen Flagg stated, walking over to his desk and with his magic, you watch him grab a single scroll and a quill. After scribbling something on it for a moment, you watch it vanish as he teleports it away with his magic, a common spell you've seen every day, as many of the agencies use this mode of communication. In the video, you watch as the scroll that Risen sent away suddenly appear in front of the one of the other ponies in the room, not the director, your boss. Unceremoniously, the pony unrolled it and read its contents, which you could see on the video. All that was written on the scroll were the words "Its time." Suddenly, in the video feed, the twelve ponies turned towards the Director of the CIA, after which each pony uncloaked to reveal themselves as changelings, alarming the director. Clustershine watched in absolute horror as they attacked the director and, no, there was no possible way that they actually attacked him, but actually mauled the director of the CIA. Each changeling tore away chunks of flesh from the director as the pony made feeble attempts at fighting back, and eventually collapsed onto the floor in a bleeding a bloody mass of flesh.

“You see, Clustershine," Risen Flagg continued as you continued to watch in horror. "Even your precious CIA is now under my absolute control and answers to only me. As of this very moment, I control every single intelligence agency, from Cloudsdale’s agency, to Vanhoover’s, why to even the one located in Saddle Arabia that acts merely as a liaison. Every single one is under my authority. Well except for one.” Upon finishing that sentence, he chuckled glancing back at you. You didn't pay any attention to him though, you could only continue to as a changeling took the guise of his mentor and friend before Risen Flagg shut off the video.

“I am well aware of the relationship that you have the only agency we have yet to control, and how close you are to its current director, Grey Rebl, and thus we come to your part in all of this,” Risen Flagg continued. “Right now, I present you with three simple choices. The first being that you join our simple cause and help us rein in the last remnants of anything that poses as opposition to the plan at large. Two, you divulge the information as to how to get into the AIA and all of the secrets that it holds therein, thus allowing us to spare your life long enough to bear witness to the absolute ruination of Grey Rebl and the AIA. Three, we kill you and then use your questionable relationship with the pony in question and have the changeling you kill him instead.” As he spoke, he walked towards you and wrapped a hoof around you, smiling even while you glared at him through tearful eyes.

“Hey, don’t look so sad, we are on the same side, Clustershine," Risen Flagg said to you. "But we have the unfortunate circumstance to be on different sides of the proverbial checkerboard, cast to fight against each other by forces beyond all of our control. I want to bring absolute order to Equestria,” he unwrapped his hoof and walked around in front of you again. He walked a few feet forwards towards the only window in his office before turning around to face you. “I want nothing more than to see order brought to all of her beloved citizens. For far too long, the princess have relied solely on her star pupil and now this outsider to try to bring control to Equestria, but where she sees help, I see the utter disrespect and eventual end to our way of life. In just a few years’ time, without MY help, the entire nation, nay, the world will devolve into such Chaos such that even the Great Spirit Discord would abandon all hope for. Do the right thing Clustershine and help me help Equestria, no, the WORLD by simply giving me the location of the AIA’s headquarters and all of the sensitive data contained there within.”

That.... was the last thing you needed to hear from him.

At that moment, something snapped within you as instinct took over. Without even thinking you suddenly grab the spear that's being held at your throat and push it down towards the ground and hit the guard to your with an elbow to the face right as the one behind you thrusts his spear forward at the back of your head. You quickly duck your head to your right to dodge both that, and the spear being held at the back of your neck, which is being held by the guard to your left, which you quickly hit right in the throat with your left wing before leaning back a bit and grabbing the staff portion of the spear behind you right under the blade before the guard behind you can pull it back. You then kick back with your left rear hoof and hit the guard right in his chest before you wrestle the spear away from his grasp, spin it around your neck, then take it in your hooves, turn around and smack the guard in the head with the blunt end of the spear before you turn back to the guard to your right to see him swinging his own spear at you. You hold your spear horizontally and block his spear strike before you quickly punch the guard in the muzzle, which causes him to double over a bit, but you quickly force the blade of his spear down with yours, get close to him and hit him with an elbow to his head. The fact that you are hitting metal doesn't bother you, its not like its an unfamiliar sensation. You then quickly elbow the guard in the face one more time and thrust the center portion of your spear right into his face, knocking him back, only to see in your peripheral vision, the guard behind you, who was previously to your left, has recovered from the throat hit you gave him a second ago and was picking up his spear again. Before he could though, you quickly spun your spear around, turned around to face him, and whacked him right in the head with your own spear, knocking him out cold.

That done, you turn your attention back to the senator, who didn't even more an inch from where he had been standing. Your instincts still on overdrive, and everything that you're feeling right now for all that's happened in the past five minutes. All that's seen, all that this pony... the senator... Risen Flagg...... GAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Without thinking you throw your spear right at him. At this close distance it would go right through his head. You know, you've seen this, you've done this.....

However, before your spear even reaches the senator, he simply leans his head to the side, and your spear flies right past him, through his window, shattering it, and into the streets of Canterlot below.

It isn't until after the spear shatters the window into tiny, tiny, bits that you realize what you've just done, and only just now that you actually look at the reaction on the senator's face. He's...... smiling........... He's actually smiling.....

Everything suddenly falls on you at once as you quickly turn around, run back through the door that you came in through, and run out into the hallways of the royal palace.

You have to get to Appleloosa, get it straight from the horses mouth as it were. Only then will you truly know what to think.

Everything..... everything's come crashing down on you.... No, you can't think about that, not now. There will be a time, but it can't be now, and it can't be here. There is only one thing that you know you need to do, and by Celestia herself you mean to do it, but right now, you've got more important matters on your hooves.

You have got to get out of here.

What do you do?

Next chapter:

PONY KOMBAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Escape from the royal palace

For the next chapter, you will direct the... now former, second in command of the CIA, Clustershine, as he tries to escape the royal palace. Where he goes, who he fights, and how he decides to fight them are all up to you. Good luck. Also despite it being a PONY KOMBAT chapter, the side story will still be open next chapter, so yeah, you guys don't have to worry about that.

-Side Story-

*One Day Ago*

-Ponyville-

Sweet Apple Acres

Sidestory.

*Apple's Farmhouse*
Brauburn, Strongheart, Applejack, and Big Mac are all in the same room. Each had a cup of boiled water to calm themselves after the riot that ensued. Time Turner was in a bed to recover from his injuries. The buffalo insisted to let him stay instead of a hospital, not trusting outside parties after the behaviour with the guards. Apple Bloom was given a day off from school from the recent events, now in her room still out of exhaustion. Granny Smith... was sleeping in her rocking chair. They all sat in silenced, prepareing to start the discussion that's going to change their very lives, forever.

AJ: Now, Braeburn, Strongheart, let's talk.
BM: ...
BB: Alright. Honestly, I don't know where start.
AJ: Let's start with the REAL reason why you're here. It's been naggin' me since ya came here.

LS and BB looked towards each other. BB faintly nodded.
BB: We were... on a mission.
AJ: Oh?

Even Big Mac looked interested.
BB: On the orders of the Appaloosa Intelligence Agency we were sent here to track down a pony, "The Doctor". One who looked like this.

He pulled out a photo. In it was a picture of a pony... that looked exactly like Time Turner.
AJ: Isn't that...?
LS: But we found out it wasn't really him. He was nothing the personality report was about him.

AJ looked confused and lost. Almost angry even.
AJ: Appaloosa Intelligence Agency? Mission? The Doctor? What is this, are y'all with the government?!
LS: The AIA was a branch of the government. Being new compared to other Agencies, there's nopony who know very much about it, other than the ponies, or buffalo, who run that place.
AJ: But isn't Appaloosa just a small town? How could there be something like this happenin' there?
BB: Appaloosa wasn't just a small town. The government was involved in the start. It was meant to fund the AIA for their operations. It's just so it could be independent without having to ask funding from Canterlot.
AJ: Funding... You mean... The apples trees in your orchard! Y'mean, you...
BB: Yes. For a few years, Ah've been a part of it, helpin' it grow to the town it was now. And by Celestia was Ah proud.
AJ: But why?
LS: The buffalo allied with the AIA in secret, becoming their eyes in the vast plains. We joined because we had become to love the fair town, and would like to grow along with it. Buffalo like me are different, we perform inside operations, extending our help voluntarily. My own reasons why I became an operative are personal...
AJ: And Braeburn?

Braeburn didn't answer, as if we holding himself back, gaging whether or not he should say anything. It was until he saw Big Mac staring at him, that he looked at her in the eye to give her the answer.
BB: ...It's the prideful duty of the Apple Clan, AJ.

Applejack was shocked. There was no way... And yet, she felt as though he was telling the truth.
AJ: W-what? It can't be! Since when was the Apple Clan in cohoots with them?!
???: Ever since Ponyville became a part of the map.

The four looked to the open door. Granny Smith. With a grave expression on her face.
AJ: ...Granny? Y-you can't be—
GS: It is Applejack.

She sat down along with them, and Brauburn greeted her.
BB: ...Master Granny Smith, the Solid Snake.

Granny nodded in recognition.
GS: The Bright Desert Scorpion, was your title, ain't it?
BB: ...Yeah.

Applejack continued to be lost. Were those code names? And the way Granny Smith spoke... This doesn't seem to be the jolly grandmother she knew, and yet, here it was.
GS: Ever since I met Celestia in person, all those years ago. When we talked, she'd noticed things about us, and we'd noticed things about her. It was then that we realized something about each other: Her truth spell when we first came in, and that we have a special... ability. It was then that she proposed to have the Apple Clan to be a part of something importatn. As the judge, the lawyers, and investigators. As the seeker of the truth... We never had a real use of our power, and to use it to be a part of something great... How could we resist? For generations, we had been in her beck and call, whenever we were needed.
AJ: ...What ability?
GS: The same ability that made you the Element of Honesty, AJ.
AJ: Huh?
GS: Tell me, AJ. Do you ever wonder why you find lies so well? Us Apples subconciously detect the habits and signs of an individual and the environment. From emotions to the voice to the facial expressions, everything that could be signs. Nothing could get past us. We called it Piercing Sense. We weren't able to tell when are sense activate, but Celestia helped us figure it out. Our bodies tense whenever there's a lie, so we wear something that could fit on us perfectly, and whenever it does, it tightens. Brauburn's was his vest, Big Mac had his harness collar.

AJ just then noticed how quiet BM had been... even for him.
AJ: Big Mac, are you...?
BM: Eeyup.

Nothing more was needed to be said.
GS: And your father had his hat. Your hat.
AJ: ...And my parents are too?

The old mare nodded.
GS: Your mother was his partner. Together, those two were one of the best of the Apple clan.
AJ: About how they died... You've never told me.

GS sighed.
GS: Ah didn't lie about how they died finding the truth. They were tracking a master criminal, and he got them good... We'll tell you more another time.

Everything had came crashing down onto AJ in jsut mere minutes. How could this be? Had it all been a lie? An illusion? It was time to ask the big question.
AJ: Why didn't ya told me?

The "Solid Snake" frowned and closed her eyes, somberly mulling on her next words.
GS: ...It wasn't what your mother and father, hay, even me, would've wanted for you. A life of secrets? Theres a reason why we are a... mostly honest family. Us Apple Clan are unique, but the uniquness is a double edge sword. Not only can we see other pony's lies, but our own as well. We're physically unable to lie, and the body put itself through strain just by knowing. Mentally, it breaks onto our phsyche. Only would through training would we hope to over come it, but it'll be like a scar in your spirits. Telling you everything about our original line of work and follow how the Apple Clan keeps secrets at that age, without proper training and while you're suffering the loss of your parents? You would've had a mental breakdown. This extends to Applebloom as well, until she come to age.

Applejack couldn't believe it. It was all true, and it explained much. Mental Breakdown? It may as well be what's happening right now... And Applebloom... AJ had already witnessed her crying just by tryig to keep a secret. Was that what would happen to her when she finally come to age? Silence was all that filled the room. Nothing but her hard breathing. Their own piercing sense is already reading her very feelings and thoughts, aren't they? Even a trained buffalo like Strongheart could tell as well. A look on each of their faces, except Little Strongheart, was that of understanding.

They've been through what AJ was going through once, too...

AJ: ...I need to think this over.
BB: We understand.
LS: Take your time.
BM: Eeyup...
GS: We're here for you when you need us.

*At Applejack's farmhouse in Sweet Apple Acres, Braeburn, Little Strongheart, Applejack, and Big Macintosh all sat in the kitchen with Applejack and Big Mac sitting across from Braeburn and Little Strongheart. Each of them had a cup of boiled water to calm their nerves after just getting out of the riot that happened only a few hours earlier. Braeburn even held an ice pack to his head. Applebloom was pulled out of school due to the riot and was now in her room, trying to calm her nerves, Granny Smith was sleeping in her rocking chair in the other room, and upstairs, in Applejack's bed, slept Time Turner, who was recovering from his injuries. Little Strongheart insisted on bringing him here instead of taking him to the hospital, as she didn't really trust any other ponies after seeing the behavior of the guards at the riot. In the kitchen, the four Apples and one buffalo all sat in silence.*

Applejack: All right. Now, Braeburn, Strongheart, let's talk.

Big Macintosh: ...

Braeburn: Alright. Honestly, Ah don't know where start.

AJ: Let's start with the REAL reason why you're here. It's been naggin' me since ya'll came here.

Little Strongheart and Braeburn paused for a moment and looked at each other. After a moment, Braeburn faintly nodded and they turned their attention back to them.

BB: We were... on a mission.

AJ: Oh?

BB: On the orders of the Appaloosa Intelligence Agency, we were sent here to track down a pony called "The Doctor".

AJ: Appaloosa Intelligence Agency? Mission? The Doctor? What is this, are y'all with the government?!

LS: The AIA is a branch of the government, yes. Being new compared to other agencies like the CIA or the VIA. Nopony knows much about it other than the ponies, or buffalo, who run them.

AJ: But isn't Appaloosa just a small town? How could there be something like that be happenin' there?

BB: Appaloosa wasn't just a small town. The government was involved in the start. It was meant to fund the AIA for their operations. It's just so it could be run independently without having to ask for funding from Canterlot.

AJ: Funding... You mean... The apples trees in your orchard! Y'mean, you...

BB: For a few years, yes. Ah've been a part of it, helpin' it grow to the town it was now. And by Celestia was Ah proud.

AJ: But why?

LS: The buffalo allied with the AIA in secret after the so called "Pie War", becoming their eyes and ears in the vast plains of the desert. We joined because we had begun to love the fair town, and wanted like to grow along with it. Buffalo like me are different, we perform inside operations, extending our help voluntarily. My own reasons for why I became an operative are personal...

AJ: Okay Ah can understand that, but what about you Braeburn?

*Braeburn didn't answer, as if we holding himself back, gaging whether or not he should say anything. It was until he saw Big Mac staring at him, that he looked at her in the eye to give her the answer.*

*Braeburn didn't answer right away, as if he was holding himself back. He tried to open his mouth to speak, but every time he did, something stopped him, as if he physically couldn't say anything, or more appropriately, knew something, but didn't know whether or not he should tell them for fear of what it would do to them. It wasn't until he saw Big Mac staring at him that he took in a deep breath and finally decided to speak.*

BB: ...It's the prideful duty of the Apple Family, AJ.

*Applejack was shocked. There was no way... And yet, she felt as though he was telling the truth.*

*Applejack froze at that as her eyes went as wide as her farmhouse. Inside her mind waged an epic war of truths. Her rational mind told her that there was just no possible way that what Braeburn was implying could be true, and yet, her senses as the element of honesty told her 100% that he was.*

AJ: W...... W-what? No..... No no no. Since when was the Apple Family in cohoots with the government?!

???: Ever since Ponyville became a part of the map.

*All conversation stopped as the four looked into the other room to see none other than Granny Smith, who bore a grave expression on her face. It was unlike her.*

AJ: ...Granny? You..... Y-you can't be—

GS: Why can't Ah be Applejack?

*At her usual pace, she slowly walked up, pulled up a chair at the table and sat down with them.*

GS: Ever since I met Celestia in person, all those years ago. When we talked, she noticed things about us, and we noticed things about her. It was then that we realized something about each other. The truth spell she cast on us when we first came in, and that we, the Apple family, have a special... ability. It was then that she proposed to let the Apple Family be a part of something important. As judges, lawyers, and investigators. As the seekers of the truth... We never had any real use for our power, much less use it to be a part of something great... So how could we resist? For generations, we had been at her beck and call, whenever we were needed.

AJ: Wha... What ability?

GS: The same ability that made you the Element of Honesty, AJ.

AJ: Huh?

GS: Tell me, Applejack. Do you ever wonder why you find lies so well? Us Apples subconciously detect the habits and signs of an individual and the environment. From emotions, to voices to facial expressions, everything that could be signs. Nothing could get past us. We called it the Piercing Sense. We were never able to tell when our sense activate, but Celestia helped us figure it out. Our bodies tense up whenever we hear somepony lie, so we usually wear something that could fit on us perfectly, and whenever we tense up, it tightens. Brauburn's is his vest, Big Mac's is his yoke.

*At that, Applejack noticed how Big Mac had been unusually silent even for him. A quick glance showed her that he was checking to see just how tight his yoke was.*

AJ: Big Mac, are you...?

BM: Eeyup.

*At that, Applejack turned her attention back to Granny Smith.*

GS: And your father had his hat. Your hat.

*At that Applejack froze again. Unconsciously she moved a hoof up to her hat and touched it. She touched it so lightly that it barely moved, as if she were afraid to touch it, afraid that it was even on her head.*

AJ: ...And my parents are too?

*As she said that Applejack lowered her hoof as Granny Smith nodded.*

GS: Your mother was his partner. Together, those two were one of the best of the Apple clan.

AJ: About how they died... You've never told me.

GS: *Sigh* Ah didn't lie about how they died finding the truth. They were tracking a master criminal, and they got them good. However, their victory didn't last long... In time, when this is all over, if you want me too, Ah'll tell you all about it.

*Everything had came crashing down onto AJ in just mere minutes. How could this be? Had it all been a lie? An illusion? It was time to ask the big question.*

AJ: Why didn't yah tell me?

*At that, Granny Smith frowned and closed her eyes, somberly mulling on her next words.*

GS: ...It wasn't what your mother and father, hay, even me, would've wanted for you. A life of secrets. Theres a reason why we are a... mostly honest family. Us Apples are unique, but that uniqueness is a double edge sword. Not only can we see other pony's lies, but our own as well. We're physically unable to lie, and our bodies put itself through strain just by knowing. Mentally, it breaks onto our psyche. Only with through training would we even hope to overcome it, but it'll be like a scar on your spirits. Telling you everything about our original line of work and follow just how the Apple Family keeps secrets at that age, without proper training and while you're suffering the loss of your parents.... You would've had a mental breakdown. That extends to Applebloom as well, until she's old enough.

*Applejack couldn't believe it. It was all true, and it explained much. Mental Breakdown? Something like that might as well have been happening right now... And Applebloom... AJ had already witnessed her crying just by trying to keep a secret. Was that what would happen to her when she finally came of age? Silence was all that filled the room. Nothing but her hard breathing. Her own piercing sense is already reading her very own feelings and thoughts. Even a trained buffalo like Strongheart could tell what was going on as well. Francically, Applejack looked around at all the members of her family present. Save for Big Macintosh, the look on all of their faces, was that of understanding.*

AJ: ...I need to think this over.

BB: We understand.

LS: Take your time.

GS: We're here for you when you need us.

*Present Time*

-The Dalek Flagship, The Caesar-

Me: *Talking in Death the Kid's Soul Whatever voice* OHHHHHH, my f*cking HEAD… Wait, why am I in Dalek form? WHY AM I STRAPPED TO A GODDAMN WALL? *Talks in normal voice again* SOMEBODY GET ME DOWN FROM HERE! I'M REALLY HUNGRY!

*Dalek passes by*

Dalek: The master has awakened! I must contact my superiors!

*Dalek goes to control room*

Dalek: Dalek Regulus! Master SD has awakened!

Antares: HE HAS? LOWER COMMUNICATIONS BARRIER!

*communication barrier lowers, shows image of me on the wall*

Me: Somebody get me down from here!

Antares: Release the master's restraints!

Aldebaran: WAIT! The master may not still be in control of himself! *speaks to communication barrier* Master! What is your favorite meal?

Me: Bacon-wrapped hot dogs with lots of mustard and ketchup. And a root beer.

Aldebaran: And your dessert?

Me: Oreo Mint shake from Foster's Freeze.

Note: SwimmingDalek98, Swimming Dalek Writing Co., and Swimming Dalek Enterprise are in no way, shape, or form affiliated with Foster's Freeze or any other related industries.

Aldebaran: Release him. And prepare that meal for him.

*Restraints open up, and I become the Multiform's signature golden dust form, and then I assume my normal 'floating snake mode'*

Me: HUNGRY HUNGRY HUNGRY!

*Commander Swimming Dalek is still bolted to the wall in the special cell designed by Dalek Regulus and Aldebaran, but he is slowly coming too.*

Swimming Dalek: *Talking in Death the Kid's voice from Soul Reaper* OHHHHHH, my f***ing HEAD... Wait, why am I in Dalek form? WHY AM I BOLTED TO A GODDAMN WALL? *Starts talking in his normal, Benedict Cumberbatch voice again* SOMEBODY GET ME DOWN FROM HERE! I'M REALLY HUNGRY!

*A random Dalek passes by*

Random Dalek: The master has awakened! I must contact my superiors!

*Dalek slowly leaves to go to control room*

SD: WAIT! WHERE ARE YOU GOING! LET ME DOWN FROM HERE!!! COME BACK!!!! COME BAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!!!

*A rather unnecessary amount of time later.*

RD: Dalek Regulus! The commander has awakened!

Antares: HE HAS? LOWER COMMUNICATIONS BARRIER!

*communication barrier lowers, shows image of Swimming Dalek on the wall*

SD: Somebody get me down from here!

Antares: Release the master's restraints!

Aldebaran: WAIT! The master may not still be in control of himself! *speaks to communication barrier* Master! What is your favorite meal?

SD: Bacon-wrapped hot dogs with lots of mustard and ketchup. And a root beer.

Aldebaran: And your dessert?

SD: Oreo Mint shake from Foster's Freeze.

Note: SwimmingDalek98, Swimming Dalek Writing Co., and Swimming Dalek Enterprise are in no way, shape, or form affiliated with Foster's Freeze or any other related industries.

Aldebaran: Release him. And prepare that meal for him.

*The restraints open up, and Swimming Dalek into his multiform's signature golden dust form, and then assumes his normal 'floating snake mode'*

Me: HUNGRY HUNGRY HUNGRY!

*A shorter amount of time later, Swimming Dalek is in his normal, Benedict Cumberbatch as Sherlock Holmes from the BBC series Sherlock, form again eating massive amounts of bacon wrapped hot dogs while two Daleks, one of them Dalek Regulus, watching over him.*

SD: *While eating* So..... what did I miss?

*At that, both the random Dalek that is with him now and Dalek Regulus are unusually silent, even more unusually silent than they usually are, for Daleks that is...*

SD: Oh come on don't keep me in the dark forever. Come on. What happened? I swear to god I better not have missed a f***ing thing.

-The Enterprise-

Med Bay

Medbay
Gordon suddenly shot upwards from his bed, arms flailing as he screamed "NO! NO! I DON'T WANT TO BE A SCHIZOPHRENIC!" before falling to the ground in an ungraceful heap.

"Uhh...." Bones said, hovering over BRP's bed.

"NOT. ONE. WORD." Gordon said menacingly, getting up from the floor and wincing as his bruises announced themselves.

"I have no idea what you mean." Bones said innocently.

"Right." Gordon said. "So, uhh, how long was I out? And why are we back on the enterprise?"

"Well, you've been out for a few hours. I was actually thinking that one of the others would have woken up before now. How's the head?"

"It hurts, Bones. I take it we were recalled at an inopportune moment?"

"Yes."

"Great. Just great. Do you know where my suit is?"

"No."

"And why not?"

"Because there was some trebleatthemi'le'otheship." Bones mumbled the last part of his sentence.

"What?"

"I said, there was some treble at the mi'le 'o the ship." Bones said, purposefully muddling his words.

"I'll ask again, what?"

"There's some trouble at the middle of the ship." Bones said.

"And what is that supposed to mean?" Gordon asked.

"DAMNIT GORDON! I'm a doctor, not some engineer! I heal people, like you! I was told to tell you that if you asked for your suit! I didn't expect this kind of Spanish Inquisition!"

"NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!" Three redshirts yelled as they burst through the medbay doors. One wore aviator's goggles, another a large brimmed red hat, and a third wore a red skullcap.

"What the fuck?" Bronze Statue asked, the loud entrance having woken him up.

"Our chief weapon is surprise, surprise and fear. Fear and surprise. Our TWO main weapons are fear and surprise... and ruthless efficiency. Our THREE main weapons are fear surprise and ruthless efficiency... and an almost fanatical devotion to the pope.... Our FOUR... wait, no... uhh... Amongst our weaponry are such elements as fear... surprise... oh... I'll come in again." And with that the three redshirts left.

"What?" Gordon said.

"I have no idea." Bronze statue said.

"I might as well give the their line." Bones said, sighing, before changing the candor of his voice. "I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition!"

"NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition!" The three redshirts said as they burst through the doors. " Amongst our weaponry such diverse elements as: fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, an almost fanatical devotion to the pope... and nice red uniforms.... Oh DAMN!." The redshirt turns to another. "You'll have to say it."

"I couldn't possibly." The other redshirt replied.

"And why not?" The first inquired.

"It would take too much time to re-write the entire skit play-by-play, and it would bore those that have read it before. Therefore, let's just skip to the charges so that no one gets bored. Plus, I don't have a name to distinguish myself, meaning not only will I soon die, but also that it would get confusing."

"Quite right." The first concurred. "Now, read the charges!"

"You" The third redshirt said, pointing at Gordon "Are hereby charged with Heresy against the Church of Celestia, and with abandoning your post as junior slash sub slash under author of this story. And YOU!" He points upwards at nothing in particular "Are charged with abandoning YOUR post as main Author for this week, and with keeping this story far too serious. This is a comedy!. Oh, and you're charged with Heresy as well. How do you plead?"

*At this point, it is requested that the author does a little skit with his holiness coming down and doing as he pleases, before departing and taking the memory of His Magnificence with Him*

"Not guilty!" Gordon replies, "On the grounds that I have no idea what you're talking about."

"No idea, eh?" The first redshirt said, "Well, EXCUUUSSEEE ME, but we find that to be the WRONG answer. Redshirt... er, I mean, Cardinal, the Rack!" The second reshirt hands him a dishrack.

"What is this?"

"Well, you wanted a rack..."

The first reshirt sighed. "Well, it'll have to do. Besides, our author's wrists are getting tired. Might as well just go with it. No point arguing." The redshirt then moves over to Gordon, tying the dishrack around him.

"What exactly is this gonna do?" Gordon asked.

"This will rip a confession out of you. If the main author were here, we'd use it on him too, now tell me HOW DO YOU PLEAD!"

"Not GUILTY!" Gordon said, annoyed. "On the grounds that you are all mad."

"HOW DO YOU PLEAD?!"

Gordon sighed, ripping the dishrack off of himself and walking over to the three redshirts before pulling a Hancock and shoving each of their heads up another's ass.

"Do not meddle in the affairs of authors, for you are moldable and fun to toy with." Gordon said with a voice so full of authority Celestia herself would have followed any direction he gave. He also seemed to shine with an inner light. "Now go!"
And the three redshirts left, awkwardly waddling away from medbay, trying to find a way to walk without upsetting eachother's assholes too much.

"Alright, seriously, what the fuck just happened?" Bronze asked from his corner. Meanwhile, Bones fainted.

"Hey, go fetch my suit while I revive bones." Gordon said, all the former glory of his voice gone.

"S-sure, Gordon." Bronze said, leaving the medbay quickly.

*The med bay was.... for all intents and purposes right now the most quiet room on the whole ship right now as Bones and Nurse Ratchet continued to look over BRP while Gordon Freebrony lay sleeping in a medical bed to his left, and to his left, Zecora still slept. Off in the corner, Bronze Statue was still sitting in a fold up chair, half awake and half asleep. The quiet moment was broken when Gordon suddenly shot upwards from his bed, with his arms flailing.

Gordon Freebrony: NO! NO! I DON'T WANT TO BE A SCHIZOPHRENIC!

*At that, Bones, Nurse Ratchet, and Bronze Statue, who had woken up from his daze all stopped what they were doing and just stared at him.*

McCoy: Uhh...

GF: NOT. ONE. WORD.

*Gordon tried to sit up as he spoke, but as he did, he kept wincing as the bruises he got in the riot announced themselves.*

MC: I have no idea what you mean.

GF: Right.... Ah f*** me, how long was I out, and why are we back on the enterprise?"

MC: Well, you've been out for a few hours. I was actually thinking that one of the others would have woken up before now.

GF: Others? *confused*

*Gordon Freebrony looks past Bones and Nurse Ratchet to see BRP sleeping on the table. As confused as he is to see someone he's never met before sleeping in the Enterprise med bay, he then looks over at the bed on the other side of him to see Zecora sleeping in it. His eyes go wide at this.*

GF: ..... How did she get here?

MC: She got beamed back with us by accident.

GF: How?

MC: She was on top of you swinging a spear around when the transporter picked us up. If I had to guess, I'd say she was trying to protect you.

GF: I see..... *silence for a few minutes*

MC: How's the head?"

GF: It hurts, Bones. I take it we were recalled at an inopportune moment?

MC: Yes.

GF: Great. Just great. Do you know where my suit is?

MC: No.

GF: And why not?

MC: Because there was some trebleatthemi'le'otheship.

GF: What?

MC: I said, there was some treble at the mi'le 'o the ship.

GF: I'll ask again, what?

MC: There's some trouble at the middle of the ship.

GF: And what is that supposed to mean?

MC: DAMNIT GORDON! I'm a doctor, not some engineer! I was told to tell you that if you asked for your suit! I didn't expect this kind of Spanish Inquisition!

*Suddenly three random red shirts burst into the room, as if they were summoned by that last phrase. One of them, presumably the leader, wore a large brimmed red hat, one wore aviator goggles, and the last one wore some kind of red skullcap. DADAA!!!!*

Lead redshirt: NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!

Bronze Statue: What the fu-

LRS: Our chief weapon is surprise, surprise and fear. Fear and surprise. Our TWO main weapons are fear and surprise... and ruthless efficiency. Our THREE main weapons are fear surprise and ruthless efficiency... and an almost fanatical devotion to the pope.... Our FOUR... wait, no... uhh... Amongst our weaponry are such elements as fear... surprise... oh... I'll come in again.

*At that, the three redshirts all left the room.*

MC: What?

GF: I have no idea.

BS: *sigh* I might as well give the their line I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition!

*Upon hearing his voice, Gordon Freebrony looks over at Bronze Statue confused, wondering why he never noticed someone he'd never met before sitting there.*

GF: Wait, who are-

*DADAA!!!!! The three redshirts all run into the room again.*

LRS: NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisi-

BRP wakes up screaming at some point. Possibly due to an unknown sense of impending doom that makes him dream of Italian lechers punching naked French people and eating cake.

*Suddenly, BRP wakes up screaming for seemingly no reason.*

BRP: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RA: *busts into the ER room where BRP is being held carrying a bottle of peach whiskey, some used bandaids, and a rubber chicken* DON'T WORRY BRP! I'LL HEAL YOU THROUGH THE POWER OF ALCOHOL, USED BANDAIDS, AND COMIC RELIEF!

*Equally suddenly, as if on some kind of cue, Registered Anonymous bursts into the room, which was a feat in of itself since the room was already open, whacks all three of the red shirts in the head with his nine iron one by one, knocking them out cold instantly, possibly killing them, and rushes over to BRP. BRP stops screaming as suddenly as he started as all that happens.*

Registered Anonymous: DON'T WORRY BRP! I'LL HEAL YOU THROUGH THE POWER OF ALCOHOL!!!

*At that, Registered Anonymous suddenly produces from.... somewhere, within his coat, a bottle of peach whiskey, opens it, and starts pouring it over BRP's now closed mouth, which does nothing since it just rolls off of his mouth, since it is closed. Yeah, BRP isn't drinking it... at all... After a few moments, Registered Anonymous stops pouring.*

RA: Huh...... You know I really thought that would work.

*Bones, Nurse Ratchet, and Gordon Freebrony all just stared at Registered Anonymous with expressions of IMMENSE confusion on their faces. All of them remain completely silent. Bronze Statue by this point, is no longer sitting and has gotten up and walked over to them, not as confused as they all are since he knows Registered Anonymous, unlike Bones and Gordon Freebrony who have not spent immense around of time in his company like Bronze Statue had. After a few moments, Bones ends up being the one to break the silence.*

MC: Uhhhhhhhh....

RA: Oh, I'm terribly sorry.

*Registered Anonymous puts the still open bottle of peach whiskey back in his coat where he pulled it and turns to face them.*

RA: I found out that one of my hackers, Doc, paid these three to come in here and act like the Spanish Inquisition from Monty Python for no reason at all, and since my good buddy BRP was getting some much needed healing time.... and sleep, in here, I thought I would do you a kindness and silence them for you.

*None of them speak for several moments.*

BS: What in the seven hells could Doc have paid them to get them to do this?

RA: Well......

-Earlier, in one of the engineering bays-

*Registered Anonymous was walking down the hallways of the Enterprise, as he was want to do, looking for some more supplies with which he could use to heal BRP, when suddenly, off in the distance, he saw one of his hackers, Doc, talking to three random red shirts. In Doc's hand was some kind of removable had drive, and the three red shirts seemed very interested in it. Curious, Registered Anonymous hid behind one of the corners to hide his presence and listened closely.*

Doc: This CD contains twelve terabytes of pornography!

-Back to now, in the med bay-

*Literally every single person in the room found themselves unable to speak due to the sheer amount of wtfery....*

GF: Uhh..........

RA: Oh hey, someone new!

*Registered Anonymous, at the sight of someone he's never met before, enthusiastically grabs Gordon Freebrony's hand and starts shaking it repeatedly.*

RA: Names Registered Anonymous, lord of whacking, and bears..... at least I think I'm the lord of bears...... I mean I did get sent to that parallel universe full of bears and I killed every single bear there so I guess that means I'm their new lord and master but that doesn't really matter here since nobody believes me by AH WHATEVER! Registered Anonymous, lord of whacking, how ya doin?

Elsewhere

*Captain James Tiberius Kirk was walking through the halls of the Enterprise with Sulu and one other red shirt close to him as they reached his quarters.*

Kirk: I want to see a full report as fast as any of you can physically write it.

Sulu: Aye captain.

Kirk: And try to get in contact with the captain of that alien ship again. I'm gonna wanna talk to him personally.

Sulu: Aye captain.

*At that, the doors opened and Captain Kirk, after a long journey on the planet, finally returned to his quarters.*

Meanwhile in the Captain's quarters Slim and Jim are still making furious love to one another and begin making such a racket that it'll draw the attention of a couple of redshirts. The redshirts can listen if they want, they can watch if they want, however if any of them go and try to strangle "the one eyed snake" Jim will personally castrate the lot of them.

*The moment the doors closed behind him, Kirk stood dumbstruck as the sight before him..... quite literally hit him like a bolt of lightning.... very very frightening... Two incredibly gorgeous women, the hackers Slim and Jim, were on his bed, completely naked, and in the middle of making sweet, furious love to each other When he walked in though, they both stopped what they were doing and just stared at him. All that there was was silence.... One could hear a feather drop, which did happen as Slim and Jim seemed to have destroyed one of Kirk's pillows.*

Kirk:......

Slim:.....

Jim:.......

SIDE STORY:
*BS goes to get Gordon's suit while attempting (rather unsuccessfully) to softly sing "F" by Maximum the Hormone.* Some other minor stuff probably happens.*

Game of Twits

Councilman Swan: Daedaltheus, you are here because of your assassinations, blackmails and the appropriation of foreign universe technologies for personal gain.

DXIV: All of which were done in the name of RED and the Council.

Councilman Bateman: Yes, but let us not forget that many of those marvelous toys you keep in your vault are used by you.

Councilman Integra: Don’t we all possess some manner of these technologies ourselves?

Councilman Swan: One might assume that you are protecting this man, Integra, but I advise you keep your personal relations out of this.

Councilman Horrible: Agreed, now let us just agree partially that we posses this technology and illegally use the foreign objects ourselves, but onto the other charges.

DXIV: The parking violations are fraudulent, after all, I drive my own car and rarely need to use one considering that I can summon a godforsaken doorframe anytime I damn well please to travel.

Councilman Bateman: Very well then, onto the other charges of interfering with the story.

DXIV: Cut the bullshit, I know why I am here to begin with. You found out that I have the typewriter, but not just any typewriter, Sutter Cane’s personal typewriter that he used in order to rewrite the multiverse and bring about his own calamitous end.

Councilman Gunter: Wahn, Wahn, Wahn, Wahn Wahn Wahn Wahn Wahn Wahn. (The typewriter is company property and we would like it back.)

DXIV: Understandably, so most honorable Gunter, but I need to keep ahold of the typewriter until the latest story ends.
Councilman Bateman: Why would that be?

DXIV: Gentlemen, allow me to be brief as I need to return to the universe and manage the dealings before things get out of hand on our end. I am challenging what amounts to an equal of mine, someone with the same skill set, so to speak, that I do.

Councilman Integra: Another Reason user?

DXIV: Yes, and right now, he controls the story in its entirety but with the typewriter, we have the ultimate edge.
Councilman Gunter: Wahn. (What?)

DXIV: Sutter Cane’s typewriter allows me to override the story and change it without anyone knowing but myself.
Councilman Gummy: (blinks)

DXIV: However, I can only use it once per month for longer than two hours as the typewriter begins to type by itself and will at any cost try to rejoin its master, Sutter Cane, inside of the howling abyss that he now resides in.

Councilman Swan: Interesting story.

DXIV: Now, with your permission, given that I have explained my side of things, may I leave as to let the council convene on my punishment.

Councilman Gunter: Wahn wahn. (You may)

DXIV: Thank you. (the doorframe appears behind Daedaltheus and he leaves)

Councilman Swan: Once we have the typewriter, Daedaltheus will die.

Meanwhile in the Bunker…

Asuka: What the fuck do you mean you won’t build the program?!

Glados: Look, I not saying that I won’t build it, it’s just that I have no interest in building it.

Rip: But ve need ze program.

Glados: Look, I manage over three hundred and seventy-eight servers that each contain one hundred hard drives that contain one yottabyte of digital information. You can clearly see that I have too much to deal with right now to write a simple program.

Asuka: Dammit to hell and back! (folds arms)

Rips: Son of a bitch.

Glados: Go down to Research and Development and you should find someone that would be more than happy to help.

-Five minutes later in Research Development-

The room is littered with various machine parts and scraps of metal strewn about as small miner capped robots rush about, carrying with them buckets of scraps. The place, though unorganized has at least one wall specifically reserved for blueprints, which are tacked into the malleable material. Before them, stands a tall thin man with white hair that sticks straight out from the sides but possesses a rather large bald spot atop his head. He is wearing a white lab coat and upon turning to face his visitors, he wears all black, from his shoes to his tie, though the tie has a white skull on it. Additionally, his mustache is quite large.

Asuka: Hi, are you the head of the R and D Department.

???: Indeed I am (extending a hand which Asuka shakes) The name is Doctor Albert Wily, head of Research and Development for Division 42.

Rip: Wait, didn’t that robot boy and his creator sometime back defeat you in your own universe.

Wily: Many times but that changed after I met Daedaltheus.

Asuka: How so?

Wily: He killed Mega man while I threw Doctor Light out of a window.

Asuka: Huh. Anyway, we need an AI tracking program and Glados is refusing to build one.

Wily: Hmm, what kind of AI are we talking, military or other?

Rip: Based upon ze design, ve are assuming zat she is military issue.

Wily: All right, I think that I might be able to help you (a small robot appears carrying a laptop) Give me about ten minutes and I should be able to come up with something to suit the needs of your request.

Rip: Thanks.

Wily: Eh, it’s what I do and ever since the boss man upstairs abandoned the Zero project, all I do is perform basic maintenance on Glados and the OIC servers.

Asuka: Zero Project?

Wily: A line of fully functional and fully operational automatons built for the sole purpose of killing and maiming, just the thing needed for the Salvation and the retaking of Manhattan from the separatists but you know, war ended kind of quickly.

???: No doubt because of our involvement.

The two ladies and the one scientist look up to see a man clad in basic bullet proofing and carrying an assortment of weaponry approach them, a single red eye glowing in the brightly lit room while the other appears to be normal.

Wily: Ah, let me guess you need the eye retooled again.

???: Yeah, thing kinda got fucked up in the last mission.

Asuka: I’m sorry, but who are you?

???: Name’s Deadshot, assassin for the boss man.

Rip: Yah.

Asuka: Huh, so you’re kind of like us.

Deadshot: Generally, it’s kill first, plant the evidence, and ask questions later.

Wily: And we are good to go. Please plug your phones into the laptop so you can download the application.

Asuka: That was fast. (plugs phone into laptop)

Wily: What can I say, I’m going nowhere fast.

Rip: (plugs phone in) Again, thanks.

Wily: Meh, don’t mention it. And done downloading. Now all you have to do is open the application in whatever universe you happen to be standing in and the pings should start immediately.

Asuka: All right, well I guess we should head back out and track down this dog-guy thing.

Deadshot: Not so fast. The boss man just got back and wants a full report.

Asuka: You saw him on the way down here?

Deadshot: Who do think I gave the head of the dead guy to?

In the Office of Daedaltheus –

DXIV: So you tracked down, killed Snake, left Shia Le-Buttfuck to listen to a song written by one of the least talented musicians (chuckles) in the business and now are preparing to track down the Brown Dog.

Rip: Yes.

Asuka: Indeed.

DXIV: And where would that next step lead you two?

Rip: Vell, if our intel is correct zen ve need to go to ze Winchester Brothers to gather ze appropriate information.

DXIV: Hell no.

Asuka: Why not?

DXIV: Those two are prepared for most anything, including but not exclusive to, vampires.

Rip: Ah. I see your point.

Asuka: Damn it to Hades! Then what are we supposed to do?

DXIV: Sources tell me, or at least that mole I planted in Strexcorp, that a figure matching his description has appeared near a rather interesting little burg in the middle of a desert and appears to live there rather infrequently.

Asuka: So you’re sending us to investigate these rumors and if possible find out more about the Brown Dog?

DXIV: Very perceptive, Asuka, I knew that there was a reason I hired you on to the Lethal Ladies.

Asuka: (blushes)

Rip: All right then, but vat about the Supernatural guys.

DXIV: I know two perfect ladies for the job.

Minutes later as Asuka and Rip van Winkle arrive in a parallel universe on Daedaltheus’ orders-

Asuka: Damn it sure is hot out here.

Rip: Vell of course, it is a desert (Rip fidgets with the car radio)

Asuka: Just where the fuck are we?

Rip: Hold on (turns the dial again) I’m trying to figure that out.

At last the radio turns on and features some local advertisement for a local pizza chain that they have never heard of before suddenly switching over to some kind of news program.

Radio: Perhaps they were never alone. Perhaps you are never alone. Perhaps you were always never meant to be alone. Welcome, to Night Vale.

Asuka and Rip: (fan girl squeal)

Meanwhile in the Supernatural Universe –

Sam and Dean, as well as their companion Castiel, find themselves in a motel off of the highway at night, as per usual for their adventures. Castiel sits in front of the TV set watching some program and making glib observations about it while Dean researches the local weirdness for any signs of demonic involvement or otherwise activity. Strangely enough, though, Sam I looking out the window of the motel room through the blinds, as though something in the parking lot has caught his attention.

Dean: Hey, Sam. Why’re ya staring out the window for?

Sam: There’s some girl in short jean shorts and a bikini top sitting atop of a red Mustang in the parking lot.

Dean: (walks over to the window) No way. (sees the woman sitting there) Wow, she’s actually there and she’s kinda cute in a crazed look sort of way.

The two sit there as the car opens and a second woman emerges, wearing what appears to be dark jeans and a violet hoodie. After a second, she pulls down the hood to reveal her long purple hair and a small red jewel on her forehead. The other woman, the one sitting atop the car reaches back behind her and turns on the radio.

Wanna join me, come and play

Dean: What the hell is that playing from the radio?

Sam: Why did she just turn on her radio?

Castiel: I think the more important question is why is she holding the chain gun.

Dean and Sam: WHAT?!

Twelve seconds later –

Sam, Dean and Castiel lie on the floor as bullet fly overhead, shredding the wall of the motel in addition to destroying most everything about four feet in the room proper.

Sam: Who are these woman, Dean?

Dean: How the hell should I know?

Castiel: I have no idea either.

All at once, the bullets stop all together and as the three men stand up, they find the crazed woman standing in the former wall as well as her companion.

Jinx: Hi, I’m Jinx.

Raven: And I’m Raven.

Jinx and Raven: We have some questions to ask you about the Brown Dog.

DaedaltheusXIV
The Brown Dog went out to gather the most brilliant investigative minds to help figure out who really defaced the Cecil Baldwin statue, unfortunately all he could get was Lieutenant Caine from CSI: Miami. He’d tried other options, but…

Sherlock Universe
The Brown Dog teleports into 221B Baker Street
BD: How ya doing voice of Smaug, where’s Bilbo?
Sherlock Holmes: …
BD: Anyway, I need your help clearing my good name
SH: …
BD: Someone has defaced the visage of the fantastical homesexual radio announcer that we all know and love, Cecil Baldwin.
SH: …
BD: Ummm…I can pay you?
SH: JOHN!!! I appear to have ingested some sort of hallucinogenic substance, but I can’t remember what!
BD: Hey I’m real!
SH: Sure you’re real (Sarcastically) You’re a talking dog that wears sunglasses, your breath smells of cheap takeout food, your accent is American, and the ash behind your left ear suggests you were near a fire of some sort.
BD: …Nice! What number am I thinking of?
SH: All this adds up to the fact that you are in fact not real since talking dogs only exist to sell dog food or teach children simplistic idiotic lessons and morals.
BD: But…
SH: Nope, the only thing I can do is ignore the drug fueled hallucination till it goes away.
Sherlock grabs his violin starts playing it with his back to the Brown Dog.
BD: Oh come on, just come with me
SH: I can’t hear you, you’re not real
BD: Oh yeah? Well…you’re…BRITISH!
SH: Oh, very good comeback. Dear lord I believe my subconscious is an idiot!
BD: Grrrr….(Disappears)

Psych Universe
The Brown Dog teleports into the Psych office
Shawn: Awww look at the little doggy
Gus: Shawn! What have I told you about bringing animals into the office?
Shawn: I thought that only applied to cats.
Gus: It’s anything that sheds hair that I have to clean up Shawn!
Shawn: Oh Gus, now you’re just being Hairest
Gus: What?!
Shawn: Just because you don’t have hair doesn’t mean you can lord your ways over those with long beautiful manes (Mock hurt)
Gus rolls his eyes as Shawn kneels down and hugs the Brown Dog
Shawn: Don’t listen to him sir, that hairless bigot won’t hurt you
At this the Brown Dog cracks up after having tried not to laugh the entire time, these guys are hilarious. Gus and Shawn back away in terror from the laughing dog.

BD: ha ha ha ha ha ha…oh man you guys are hilarious. Anyway I need your guys help to…
Shawn/Gus: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
They both run out of the office screaming towards Gus’s car.
Gus: DEMON DOG! DEMON DOG!
Shawn: PANIC! PANIC!
The Brown Dog laughs at this, but then realizes that they probably won’t help him.
BD: ha ha ha….crap
Teleports out

CSI: Miami Universe
The Brown Dog teleports into a Miami Bar where Lieutenant Caine is.
BD: Hey
Caine: Hey
BD: Wanna help me solve a crime?
Caine: Sure.
BD: Really? That simple?
Caine: Yep
BD: No questions about how I can talk or where I came from?
Caine: Nope
BD: Huh. Why not?
Caine: I like your choice in eyewear (Puts his own shades on) besides, I had a feeling today was a Dog Day Afternoon
CSI: Miami Opening: YYYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
BD: Ok then
Teleports them to his shack in Nightvale in the evening, the night before the Lackeys show up

The shack by the bluffs is…boring. It has literally nothing in it. There is no bed, no furniture, no appliance, nothing. Just the bare interior, there isn’t even a bathroom or sink.

BD: Well welcome to my place, don’t touch anything
Caine: What’s there to touch?
BD: Hey now I like living simplistically, don’t be a smartass
Cortana: You’re saying that to him?
Caine: I can tell there was a crime here, (Shades off then on) someone died of boredom
(YEEEAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!)
BD: Hmm…good point
Caine: So what am I supposed to look at?
BD: A statue, but it’s not here, it’s in town
Caine: So why are we here?
BD: Well excuse me for wanting to give a tour.

Teleports into town and they start walking
BD: OK, there’s where Old Lady Josie lives with the Angels (Points to trailer)
Caine: Angels?
BD: The city council says they’re not, but we all know the truth.
Caine: Well I guess that’s what you call (Shades on) separation of church and state
(Yeeeaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!)
BD: Heh heh, good one, Oh and there’s the Dog Park, don’t look at it.
Caine: What? Why not?
BD: Because you’re not supposed to, besides there are no dogs allowed into the dog park, or people, and those figures in cloaks aren’t there either.
Caine: Well this appears to be…(shades on) a cloak and dogger affair
(Yeeeeaaaaahhhhhh!!!!)
BD: OK that’s getting annoying, and there’s the sports store where the chief’s secret police are (Points to Sports store with Black Helicopter on top)
Caine: Why don’t we ask them for assistance then?
BD: Technically the city council has ruled that I don’t exist and so they and the police and everyone else ignore me. If I try talking to anyone they cover their ears and close their eyes and sing. That’s part of their new protocol.
Cortana: If only that worked for me.
BD: Shut up!
Caine: I didn’t say anything
BD: I wasn’t talking to you, besides I bet you were thinking of some sort of stupid pun just now.
Caine: Like what? Like…(shades) justice is blind?
(Yeaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!)
BD: God Damnit! You do that one more time I’m gonna jam those sunglasses up yer ass!
Caine: OK fine, jeez!

They walk on past Big Rico’s Pizza.
BD: That place used to be good, but ever since wheat and wheat by products were outlawed, THE PIZZA TASTES LIKE SHIT!!!
Caine: I don’t doubt it.
BD: That’s why I hope Hiram McDaniels wins this next election for mayor, I’m sure he’ll bring back wheat and wheat by products
(Points to poster of five headed dragon with the words “Vote for Daniels” on it)
Cortana: Well he’s got my vote

They finally arrive at Grove Park where the defaced statue is. Caine sees a shape not too far away.
BD: Don’t look, think, or talk about that shape
Caine: But it’s just so noticeable
The shape begins to turn a shade of red
BD: It doesn’t like people talking about it, so ignore it
Caine: There seems to be a lot of that in this town

They focus their attention on the statue.
It has police tape around it and there is graffiti spray painted onto it. The face has been scratched and one of the arms lies on the ground.
The graffiti says
All Hail the Glow Cloud
The California Raisins Stole My Brain
All the Ducks are Swimming in the Water
Honey, where are my pants?
And other insane ramblings.

Caine: Hmmm, this seems to have been done by a person or persons with extreme psychological problems.
Cortana: Well it does sound like you even if you didn’t do it.
BD: Indeed, I like his or their style, but they did frame me so they must pay, preferable in Twinkies.

Caine touches the paint and rubs it between his fingers before smelling it.
Caine: This was written in blood, bump my hunch about psychological problems to full on psychosis.
BD: What you’ve never seen a blood ritual before?
Caine ignores him and walks around the statue while Cortana scans the blood
Cortana: Analyzing…the blood doesn’t seem to belong to any known creature.
BD: oooohhh, the mystery thickens.
Cortana: There appear to be traces of avian, draconian, and even some sort of large mammalian in this sample. Also, I detect small levels of magic.
BD: Huh, I wonder how long you would have to deep fry this monster before eating it?

Cortana just face palms again. She’s done it so much it seems to be a new subroutine of hers.
Caine: Hey I found some strange footprints over here

The footprints are sporadically spaced and look humanoid, only the toes appear extra long and there is blood in the insteps.
Caine: It looks like whoever this painter was, they liked dancing.
BD: Well who doesn’t like the mamba after a blood pact?
Caine: (Looks at ankle of Cecil Statue) Aha…and look at this…Butterflies
There is a picture of butterflies drawn with the blood
BD: So we got a fellow nutjob dancing around and destroying statues of celebrities with random sayings and blood butterflies?
Caine: Exactly, does that ring any bells for you?
BD: Unfortunately it rings way too many bells. You see a lot of shit when you jump around the multiverse.
Caine: Well that’s all I see here
BD: Well thanks Caine, you’ve been a big help, even if you are annoying
Caine: My pleasure, and careful when looking for this guy. Something tells me (shades) that his dance moves are killer
(Yeeeeeaaaaahhhhhh!!!!)
Brown Dog just looks at him with a frown

Lieutenant Caine Teleports into a locked cell with nice furnishings with his sunglasses broken. There are other people in the cells adjacent to him. One is an older man with a beard watching TV, the other is a man with longish blonde hair and a stupid nose who has a coloring book.
Caine: Ow…
MB: Hey George, new fish!
GL: Shut up Michael, Game of Thrones is on.

Back in Night Vale
Cortana: Did you really have to send him to your prison?
BD: He knows what he did.
Cortana: He did help you
BD: Which is why his sentence won’t be as long, but enough about him. We now have a target…of sorts.
Cortana: Mind enlightening me?
BD: In due time, but first tune into the local broadcast
Radio: (Static)
Cecil: … stay tuned in for two commercial free hours of the letter Q. And remember dear listeners, to forget what you don’t know and to know what you have forgotten. Good night Night Vale, Good night.
BD: Oh good, perfect timing.
Cortana: For what?
BD: To visit with the victim of this horrific crime.

Teleports
Cecil Baldwin walks into his house and sees the Brown Dog in his kitchen.
BD: Hi!
Cecil: Oh, the Dog that doesn’t exist that ruined my statue (turns around and covers his ears while singing)
BD: Hey now, I just want to talk, and it wasn’t me.
Cecil continues to sing
BD: Say, isn’t Carlos’s hair just the most pefectest thing ever?
Cecil stops singing, takes his hands off his ears, opens his eyes and turns around and smiles
Cecil: You do speak the absolute truth Dog that doesn’t exist
BD: Of course, that’s one of my best qualities
Cortana rolls her eyes in the HUD
Cecil: So what can I do for you?
BD: Well I just wanted clear up the air about this whole statue incident…

BrownDog77

A Cadillac Coupe de Ville pulls up to the shack on the bluffs, one with the noticeably open door and the rather plain design located nowhere near the back of the Ralph’s.

Asuka: Anybody in here, particularly interdimensional dogs of the mischievous variety?

Rip: Really, zat’s vat you say to announce our presence (opens the door)

Asuka: It’s better than just knocking on the door.

Rip: Well (the two enter) this is a bust. There is literally two things in this shack.

Asuka: Let me guess, jack and shit, right.

Rip: Yeah, and jack ran screaming about last night. (looks around the room, noticing quite literally nothing except for two sets of prints) Ah ha! Look paws and dress shoes.

Asuka: So he was here recently.

Rip: Yah (sniffing the air) and judging by the presence of In and Out Burger smell, recently.

Asuka: (pulls out her phone and activates the application) And according to this, he’s still in town, located precisely at…(fan girl squeal) CECIL PALMER’S STUDIO!

Rip: THERE’S NOT A MOMENT TO LOSE!

The two ladies return to the car and drive towards, town, which given the absurd speed limits and awkward placing of everything, it should take a few minutes. Rip turns on the radio...

Cecil: Well dear listener, you remember a few days back when the crime of the century was committed? When some otherworldly beast from the deepest pits of hell itself sought to defile my golden visage that sits in Golden Grove park? For awhile now the Sheriff’s secret police have informed us that it was the talking dog in sunglasses…you know, the one who doesn’t exist? And we’ve had no reason not to believe that this nonexistent entity that lives near the Radiated Bluffs was the culprit. Well it turns out I had a visitor in my home late last night. Sadly it was not beautiful perfect Carlos, but rather the Dog that doesn’t exist himself. I went through the usual ritual, I turned my back, plugged my ears and closed my eyes, and I sang a lovely song about Good Days gone by.

Sadly I cannot recount my perfect singing voice to you since that would technically count as Karaoke, and as we all know, Karaoke is outlawed. Back to the events of last night, I tried to block out the dog that did not exist, but he spoke a golden truth to me, that I couldn’t help but hear him out. He told me that Carlos’s hair was the most perfectest in all of Night Vale. That was when I knew I should hear him out dear listener, because Carlos’s hair is in fact that perfect.

He claimed that he was innocent in the charges against him and that he believed somebody, or something, was framing him so that he would have to pay restitution in cash that he did not want to summon up. His reasons were quote, “Paying cash for damages is cause and effect, and that’s too orderly for my tastes. Also, I won’t pay for damages I didn’t commit, I could use that cash for In N Out Burger!” He then began drooling on my floor deep in thought before yelling out loud at someone only he could hear. He then told me that he had a few leads on the entities that were the true culprits of this horrible, horrible crime, and that they would be brought to his brand of justice.

Now listeners, I know what you’re thinking, “You shouldn’t listen to talking dogs that do not exist,” but Ladies and Gentlemen, I
have to say that there was so much sincerity in his little doggy voice and charm in his little doggy smile that had you been there you would have taken his nonexistent word for it as well. I happily thanked him for his words then booped him on the nose. He laughed out loud as did I and I gave him a scratch behind the ears. He told me to keep up with the good work and that he would be back with news before I knew it. With that, he disappeared. I believe he is telling the truth dear listeners, and dog gone it, pun intended listeners, I will wait and see how his mission turns up. Being framed by some unknown entity seems to put one between a rock and a hard place, but this dog will still seek the truth. My money is still on Desert Bluffs as nothing good ever comes out of there. This dog has conviction ladies and gentleman, not unlike our new mayoral candidate Hiram McDaniels, who I personally will be voting for come this fall. I will report to you any findings the Dog who does not exist gives as they come.

Asuka: You know, Rip, I never got a chance but what do you do for fun?

Rip: Vat do you mean?

Asuka: You know, when you’re not working for Daedaltheus and on assignments with the Lethal Ladies, what do you do to relax?

Rip: I like to read at home.

Asuka: What do you like to read?

Rip: Germanic tragedies steep in the myths of the Norse Gods while sipping on a chilled glass of blood.

Asuka: Oh.

Rip: (sighs) What do you like to do?

Asuka: Oh! Well, I’m studying biomechanical engineering and physics in Stockholm.

Rip: Wait, wait, wait. You mean to tell me that you, a mere seventeen year old is studying for a college degree in Stockholm and working for Daedaltheus.

Asuka: Actually, this will be for my doctorate and I work for Daedaltheus because he pays for my education.

Rip: Hmm, he did pay off my debts and pays for my mortgage.

Asuka: You own a house?

Rip: A small two bedroom house in the German countryside, nothing special, really.

Asuka: I live in a loft in Stockholm with other students.

Rip: Do they know about this?

Asuka: Not a fucking clue.

Rip: It’s better that way und we are here. (the car comes to a halt outside of the studio) Call the boss.

Asuka: Right (dials the secure line) Hello, we found him.

DXIV (phone): Him who?

Asuka: The Brown Dog.

DXIV: Where?

Asuka: In Night Vale of course. We are about to engage him.

DXIV: Do not engage.

Asuka: Why not?

DXIV: Listen to me, do not engage him.

Rip: Too late, he’s scene us.

DXIV: Rip, Asuka!

Asuka: (jumping out of the car) We’ve got you now, you son of a (Rip and Asuka appear in a dark cave) bitch?

Rip: The fuck are we?

Meanwhile in the Bunker –

DXIV: Rip, Asuka, are you there? Come in, for the love of God, please come in.

Phone: (silence)

DXIV: DAMN IT ALL TO HADES!

Raindrops: Sir?

DXIV: The Brown Dog got Rip and Asuka.

Raindrops: Are they dead?

DXIV: One-Way to find out (briskly walks out of his office, downstairs and to the vault)

Raindrops: Why not send some of the others after him?

DXIV: Rip is my most loyal officer and Asuka is a new recruit, I can’t just send others in willy-nilly and have them slaughtered, if that’s what has happened to them.

Daedaltheus picks up his LAPD 2019 blaster, checking the ammunition in it and placing it in a holster at his side. He walks over to a shelf and picks up a long dark overcoat that his hanging inside of a yellow bag labeled FOR DXIV ONLY and puts it on.

Raindrops: This is serious.

DXIV: Of course it is.

Raindrops: I mean, you’re wearing the Coat, you only wear that when things are getting serious.

DXIV: If I engage the Brown Dog in battle, the last thing I need is for him to touch me and this coat should stop that. (Summons a portal) I shall not be long.

In Night Vale –

DXIV: (appears) All right, so it would appear that we are in Night Vale or more specifically in Grove Park. (turns to see the shape that no one is supposed to talk about or know about)

The Shape: (glows violently red)

DXIV: Don’t you fucking dare start with me.

The Shape: (calms down and whimpers)

DXIV: Good. (pulls out his phone) And the tracers inside their smartphones should kick in right…(looks at the screen) of course, they’re inside the mine shaft. Because WHY THE FUCK NOT!

Carlos: Excuse me, but did you just speak to the Shape?

The Shape: (glows)

DXIV: (pulls out the LAPD 2019 Blaster) What did I tell you?

The Shape: (stops and whimpers)

DXIV: Indeed (holsters the gun) Name’s Daedaltheus, don’t touch the coat, it’ll melt your flesh off and would you be so kind as to tell me if you’ve seen a dog, brown wearing sunglasses nearby, about yay tall?

Carlos: You mean that Brown Dog that city council says does not exist and that we aren’t supposed to know about or acknowledge.

DXIV: You really are perfect.

Carlos: What?

DXIV: Nothing but I take that as a yes.

Carlos: He’s talking to Cecil at the studio.

DXIV: Zamechatel'nyy (Wonderful)

Carlos: Are you Russian?

DXIV: Spent some time around Czar Nikolas the Second prior to the whole VI Lenin affair, nice guy really but listen, I have some friends to rescue so I need to take off. (vanishes)

Carlos: (holds out tape recorder) Subject appears to be a tall male in his thirties and has some connection to the dog.

At the Mine Shaft –

DXIV: Ok we are here and (sees a large metal door over the entrance) they’ve beefed up security, A LOT. (looks at the pistol) This thing isn’t going to cut it.

???: You want me to tear down the door for you, Daedaltheus?

DXIV: (lifts pocket watch) No, Amon, it’s quite all right. I’ve got this.

At this, Daedaltheus deeply inhales and begins to resonate his vocal cords for a few seconds, after which he gives a tremendous shout.

DXIV: CHUKSA! (the door and subsequent part of the shaft entrance explodes) Such is the Weirding Way.

In the Mine –

Asuka: So let me get this straight, we got caught, sent here by the Brown Dog and…

Rip: Are trying to escape the mine shaft outside of town.

Asuka: Who's this prick?

A man in an offensive and cartoonishly inaccurate Native American headdress standing against the wall opposite of Rip and Asuka.

Apache Tracker: The dog teleported me with you to this place.

Rip: Why couldn't we be stuck with Carlos, sweet perfect Carlos.

Asuka: (sighs) Yeah...

Apache Tracker: I'm still here you know.

Rip: Fuck off.

All at once the ground shakes and light shines through the shaft.

Asuka: The hell (raises pistol)

DXIV: ASUKA! RIP! Are you two all right? (walks towards them)

Rip: Daedaltheus? You came for us.

DXIV: Of course. Mind the coat.

All at once a large man eating bat collides with Daedaltheus and instantly begins to melt.

DXIV: Yeah, the coat is of my own crafting you see each microfiber of this fantastic coat is laced with Vasta Narada, the shadows that eat the flesh, which attack anyone that touches me. Sorry about that (the bat dies)

The three exit the mine.

Rip: What do you want us to do now?

DXIV: Join up with Raven and Jinx, but keep your vampiric nature hidden, got it?

Rip: Jawohl, Daedaltheus.

Asuka: Yes, sir. But what about you…where’d he go?

At Cecil’s House –

Cecil: Well, I’d have to talk it over with station management but perhaps I could get you a second guest spot.
Brown Dog: Awesome sauce! But next time, I want a trailer and only blue M&Ms. No! Green! No, those little aquamarine ones!
Suddenly, the door is kicked and lands against the wall of the studio as Daedaltheus steps through the doorway, the LAPD 2019 Blaster drawn as he points it towards the Brown Dog.

Brown Dog: Oh God, Debt Collectors!

Cortana: What the?!

Cecil: Oh hey, it’s the man I've never seen before.

DXIV: LONG LIVE THE FIGHTERS! (pulls the trigger as the Brown Dog teleports away leaving only the floor to explode upwards as the bullets collide with the wood flooring) DAMN IT ALL TO FUCKING HADES!

Cecil: Did you know him?

DXIV: Hi, don’t touch the coat, eats flesh and yes I do. Know where he went?

Cecil: Nope and you ruined the floor.

DXIV: Sorry about that. (pulls out a checkbook, writes a check, and places it on the desk) Got to go. (starts to leave) By the way, I love the show. Vote Faceless Old Woman Who Secretly Lives in Your Home for Mayor.

Cecil: Thank you. (Daedaltheus vanishes)

Back at the Bunker -

Raindrops: Did you find him?

DXIV: Yes and he is either an equal or...

Raindrops: Or?

DXIV: The most dangerous idiot I ever encountered.

Meanwhile Outside the Studio in Night Vale -

Brown Dog: The hell, Cortana?!

Cortana: I opened a portal to save you from being... what are you doing?

Brown Dog: Chasing my tail. (chases his own tail) Why?

Cortana: (facepalm)

DaedaltheusXIV
The Brown Dog is sitting in front of a building surrounded by computers after having told Cecil the truth.
BD: Alright, time to Google this shit
Cortana: Your plan is to Google the clues at the crime scene?
BD: Duh! How else am I gonna narrow my list down?
Cortana: But we didn’t have to come to Google Headquarters to do this
BD: Well I didn’t want to half ass this investigation Cortana, I want to use my full ass, and that’s why we will Google at the heart of Google
Cortana: (Rolls her eyes) fine
BD: (typing and saying aloud) OK…bloody…butterfly…psycho…dancing…enter.
(And image of Buffalo Bill form Silence of the Lambs pops up)
BD: Buffalo Bill? Of course! The blood, the butterflies, being mad at gay people, ALL SIGNS POINT TO HIM!!!
Cortana: But wait that doesn’t…
(Teleport)

The Brown Dog arrives in Buffalo Bill’s basement
Cortana: …make sense.
BD: OK Bill, why did you frame m..OH DEAR GOD WHY?!

Buffalo Bill is dancing around naked in his Woman Suit in front of the mirror, and doesn’t hear the Brown Dog.
Bill: Ya I’d fuck me…I’d fuck me hard…
The Brown Dog is horrified, so he conjures up a mallet and knocks Buffalo Bill upside the head with it, knocking him out.

BD: …Well Cortana, I don’t think I’ll be eating anything for awhile.
Cortana: If I could eat, I would also stop.
BD: Ya…So I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that this guy probably didn’t frame me.
Cortana: Oh gee you think? What tipped you off?
BD: Well mostly the dancing he just preformed, it didn’t match any of the footprint patterns at the statue.
Cortana: …Really? That’s why? Not the fact that he’s a serial killer that only kills women, or that you’ve never met him before?
BD: Those are also valid points. I guess I jumped the gun at Google Headquarters. Well at least that’s one suspect off the list, let’s go tell Cecil the good news.
Cortana: Already? We just left
BD: He must always know my progress!
Teleports out

Back at Night Vale in the Afternoon in front of the Radio Station
BD: Ah, good to be back, it’s been far too long, hey we should get some Big Rico’s Pizza
Cortana: I thought you said you weren’t gonna eat for awhile…also that you hated Big Rico’s
BD: I do, but after watching Buffalo Bill dance, I realize it’s not nearly as nasty. And I am hungry.

A Slavic man in stereotypical Native American garb and headdress approaches the Brown Dog
Apache Tracker: They are coming. They are coming from below
BD: Oh geez it’s this asshole. Apaches never wore that outfit jack ass!
Cortana: How would you know?
BD: History Channel
Apache Tracker: Below the bowling alley…they will come
A Cadillac Coupe De Ville pulls up behind the Apache Tracker
BD: Oh hey that sure is a nice car
(Inside the Car) Rip: Too late he’s seen us!

The Apache Tracker kneels before the Brown Dog, obstructing his view
Apache: Heed my words! The spirits tell me they come soon!
BD: Alright, that’s enough out of you. 3 hours dungeon!

The Brown Dog Pushes the Apache tracker back towards the car with a wormhole appearing around him.
Asuka: We’ve got you now you son of a…
The wormhole surrounding the Apache Tracker envelopes the two women whom the Brown Dog didn’t know were there and they too are teleported away.
BD: Huh? Did you hear something?
Cortana: Only the sound of your stupidity.
BD: Oh, then nothing new then (Smiles)
Cortana: Why did you imprison him?
BD: Well technically I didn’t, I sent him to the prison in the Night Vale Mine Shaft, you know the one with HBO? So technically he’s been arrested by the Sheriff’s secret police. Besides, he’ll be out in no time.
Cortana: Fine, whatever, let’s talk to Cecil and get going.
BD: Alrighty then, but first…(looks back at Coup) that is a very nice car isn’t it?
Cortana: I suppose?
BD: Hey watch this (takes out keys from somewhere and starts scratching on the driver’s side door, giggling while he does it) There, now it’s much better.
Cortana: …You drew Dick-Butt? Really?
BD: Yep, now the car’s price will skyrocket!

Teleports into studio.
Cecil: …The street-sweepers will be here any minute now! The City Council has already flown to their pre-scheduled vacation in Florida, and all we can do now is hide. Hide and pray dear listeners that they will not get you. It doesn’t seem fair that they are coming back so soon after the last street sweeping, but it is out of our hands. Good luck to you all…
On a lighter note, the Dog that does not exist has just appeared in the chair opposite me with a heart melting smile. I can only assume that means good news?
BD: Well it’s news alright, I have crossed one name off my suspect list, and I will continue to cross more off till I find the monsters that did this
Cecil: I am glad to hear that. You heard it right here folks, the Dog that doesn’t exist is on the case…and now, the weather. (Some indie rock song starts playing)
Cecil: (off the air) well that was rather fast.
BD: Yep, I'm like Twitter in that regard. I also saw a bird too, it was pretty. Can I keep updating you on air?
Cecil: Well, I’d have to talk it over with station management but perhaps I could get you a second guest spot.
BD: Awesome sauce! But next time, I want a trailer and only blue M&Ms. No! Green! No, those little aquamarine ones!

The door to the studio is then violently kicked in with a loud bang. All the Brown Dog sees is some guy in an awesome looking Jacket and a gun since Cecil is right in front of him and he can't see the guy's face. His mind immediately jumps to the logical conclusion.

BD: Oh God, Debt Collectors!
Cortana: What the?
Cecil: Oh hey, it’s the man I’ve never met before.
Debt Collector: LONG LIVE THE…

The Brown Dog doesn’t hear the rest as he is teleported. Not his usual way, but Cortana’s, the kind that always makes him feel a bit itchy.
He appears out front of the studio
BD: The hell Cortana?!
Cortana: I opened a portal to save you from being…what are you doing?
BD: Chasing my tail (running around chasing it) why?
Cortana: (Face Palms) For what reason?
BD: It itches! Also, save me from what? Yes debt collectors are scary, but he couldn’t have hurt me.
Cortana: In Night Vale? I don’t want to take any chances…I ….I…(voice faltering)
BD: Oh great, now you’ve expended your energy. And you call me stupid
Cortana: Shut….up…be…care…ful…
BD: Alright, time for you to take a nap (Taps glasses and Cortana shuts down)
He finally bites down on his own tail
BD: Graaahhhh!!!! It’s never worth it!
Looks around at the deserted streets.
BD: Huh, wonder where all the local wildlife is?...Oh well, time for pizza.
He Walks over to Big Rico’s, while down the road, the sound of Street Sweepers gets louder little by little

Author's Note

status: edited

PONY KOMBAT: RUN CLUSTERSHINE RUN!!!!! (feat. guest author Grey Rebl)

RUN CLUSTERSHINE RUN!!!

Stormbringer by Turmion Kätilöt

Instinct driving you, you bursted out of Risen Flagg's office back into the hall. You run down the hall for as quickly as your legs can take you before you turn the corner and run into a flight of stairs, with a pair of guards at the bottom.

"Hey!" one of them shouts as they both turn around. "What do you think you're-" He never gets to finish his sentence as you professionally slide down the stairs and swiftly kick both of them in the head before landing. The two guards slump to the ground upon impact, they're not getting back up. Your heart starts beating even faster as the sudden realization of what you did just now dawns on you, but you can't even think about it right now, changeling or no changeling, you can't take any chances.

Quickly looking around, you notice a few closed doors, but also one open office with nopony in it. Quickly, you grab hold of both of the bodies with your forehooves, then as fast as your wings could carry you, you quickly fly into the room and shut the door behind you with a kick. That done, you drop both the guards and bar the door with a nearby table with a vase on it, which miraculously didn't fall when you pushed the table in front of the door. You take a moment to check the door. Satisfied with what you've done, you take a moment to look around the office and notice another door. You walk over and open it to see a long, thin room with filing cabinets lining both sides of it. What, was this some kind of secretary's office. Regardless, you quickly run back over to the two guards and drag them both over to the filing closet before throwing them both and locking the door behind them, thankfully whoever's office this is designed this door so that it locks from the outside.

Finally, with that done, you turn around and fall back against the door, stopping only to take a single, solitary breath as you slide down to your haunches as you backtrack your thoughts to what just transpired.

'How... How could I have snapped?,' you thought, looking down at your hooves. 'How could I have played in his hoof so easily?! That room didn't felt natural— I... I didn't even feel like I was myself! And the AIA... Grey Rebl... No, I can't think about it now, there's more pressing matters at hoof. I need to get out of here.'

With one last breath, you calm your nerves as you feel your heart stop trying to beat its way out of your chest like in that one alien book you read. Celestia that was freaky. Anyway, with your nerves calm and your conscious cleared, for the moment, you get back up and move the table out of the way of the door. You can't stay here after all.

You take a moment and put your ear to the door before you open it again, expecting some kind of ambush during your train of thought, but you don't hear anything. Odd, regardless of what kind of ambush they were preparing, its not like that guard armor that they wear is quiet. Slowly, but cautiously, you open the door back out into the hallway and peak outside. You don't see any guards. With the coast clear you walk back out into the hallway, shut the door to the office behind you and continue onwards. The Canterlot Intelligence Agency has been infiltrated, more than likely they're already looking for you. There is no time to lose.

Alright, the CIA has been infiltrated, as of right now, if they are attacking you, they are your enemy.
Grab a spear or lance and use it to clear your paths. Try to be non lethal, but do whatever it takes to defend yourself.
Don't stop running, you can't be overwhelmed.
The guards are on high alert, so warning the princesses is out, but perhaps you can slip a message to one of the staff, such as their Day Planner or one of the Maids. They have to know that the enemy is within their midst.
Once you get out of the castle, you have to get out of the City. You need air power. Do you know some Pegasi or Bat Pony guards that you trust?
If not, get to an airship or the Train.
You have to get to Appleloosa before the shit hits the fan any more, and also if you can warn the Princess's student Twilight Sparkle on your way, then at least someone with power will know.
Good luck.

You trot down the hallway at a brisk pace, seemingly calm and ordinary as you went through the corridor. In times like these its best to keep cool. Your early years of stubborn failure at stealth during your time in the guard had taught you this. It wasn't your fault that you were a pony of action and preferred just rushing in and kicking all kinds of flank... Okay, maybe it was your fault but that's not important now. Still, while you appear cool on the outside, inside, though, your heart starts hammering again, your adrenaline threatening to release into your bloodstream, and you don't need that, not right now. A few beads of sweat form on your brow, but you ignore it.

After a few quick turns and one more flight of stairs down to the lower level, you leave the office suites of the palace and move down towards the more common area. Several maids and butlers pass by as you make your way, oblivious to the coming storm. You just nod to them and they reply with the same gesture. Nopony ever said you weren't friendly. They all seem normal... For now at least, so you use this moment to think up your escape route.

By now, news of your supposed "treachery" is going to spread, and its not like your assaulting the senator is going to go unnoticed. Evil or not, he is still a senator. The death of the head of the CIA probably won't be as immediate, but given the changeling infiltrators, they may have already been watching you even before he was killed. Still, given all that's happening, security measures are going to take. Right now, however, you have a brief window of time that could benefit for your escape. You wouldn't any time to take a break afterwards.

Changelings are more than likely disguising themselves as members of the CIA or the Royal staff, but without a unicorn around or a pair of magically enchanted glasses, you aren't going to be able to tell who is and who isn't a changeling unless they reveal themselves to you, which you seriously doubt they'll do. Any ally or friend could be one of them, so you can't risk getting any kind of support. No pony can be trusted. Although, even of you could somehow get support right now, its not like anypony wouldn't be exactly trusting of you, given the circumstances.

Corner after corner, hallway after hallway, you can only hope there isn't a changeling around each, seeing only an empty hallway each time.

When you turn one more corner down one more hallway however, you pass by a lone maid, kind of cute, but for a moment you see her eyes faintly glow green as she throws a smile in your direction.

They're playing games. More than likely you've already been spotted. You still keep your cool, all the while stretching your ears for any noise in particular from behind.

Then came the siren, amplified by the sound of horns, resonating across the Canterlotian building. A few beats of different, deep tones, and then repeats. It wasn't tripped by the maid, it couldn't have been. Either the changelings did truly have a hive mind or this was planned ahead of time. Either way, it doesn't matter now. Now they know. Judging by the sound of it, agents from the CIA were going to be involved. You can only watch as ponies hid themselves inside of random rooms in panic, like they're all told to in the event of any situation that may occur inside the castle.

If you're lucky, any guards you might encounter wouldn't call you out before following suit with the other civilians—

"Halt!" you suddenly hear a guard shout before you can finish that train of thought.

'Celestia damn it, already?!' you can't help but mentally scream at yourself.

You stopped, not daring to face the guard for fear of being recognized. You have to handle this smartly, conserving your energy in the process.

"Nopony leaves the area during a search or when the siren sounds," the guard says as he walks over to you. There is silence for a moment as you feel him looking you over. "You seem very suspicious. I'd like to ask you some questions." You were the poker face of the CIA for a good reason. You could try acting, and it would've been awesome if you could be anypony, any character. Although If it weren't for the damn bat wings on your sides, blending in would be a whole lot easier. Bat ponies are still common sight within the Canterlot Castle, even if they are nocturnal. So, if he claims that your 'very suspicious'...

"Sir, why an I suspicious?" you ask respectfully.

"You haven't gone back inside your room yet," he responds, still walking up to you.

"But my room is two floors away. You can't expect me to be back in instantly after the bell rings," you respond calmly.

Closer.

"Well, you are a Batpony in open daylight, and face me when you're talking!" the guard shouted at you, he sounded impatient.

A little more.

"Batponies have been slowly integrating with modern society since the last decade, it's even still in the news. What do you expect us ALL to be a part of the night guard or something?" you say to him.

"I, uh... That doesn't matter!" The guard shouts, sounding a bit more pissed off than he was before. "The point is: you're out of place, you're coming with m-"

Before the guard can even finish that sentence, he finally gets close enough to you. Before he can even touch you your hoof shoots out and jabs him in the eye, staggering him, leaving him open for the round kick, which slams into the side of his head. He's unconscious the moment your hoof hits his helmet. It isn't time to move on and leave yet, though. Now that you've had a chance to cool your head, you can make some use of him, unlike the last two knock-outs you've given.

With that over, you drag the body into a nearby room. You don't like to play whiny. Luckily, the room you drag him into is empty, quite cozy, too. Quickly and carefully, you strip him of his uniform. He obviously won't be needing it anymore. As you do this though, you notice that the guard doesn't revert back to a changeling as you suspected he would. Usually when a changeling gets knocked out, their disguise usually goes immediately. The thought enters your head that maybe this guard isn't a changeling, but you somehow doubt it, the normal guards weren't privy to anything you did and wouldn't suspect you that quickly. Perhaps the changelings have been practicing somehow, getting better at holding their forms even while unconscious. You'll have to investigate this later though.

After a few minutes, you exit the room wearing the guard's armor. You take his spear too just to be safe. The uniform of the solar guard was awfully heavy. Not that it was something you weren't accustomed to, the armor that you wore while in the lunar guard wasn't any less heavy, but still, this is going to slow you down. Thanks Celestia the guard in question was an earth pony, so while your wings may be scrunched up, at least the armor lets to hide them. The only thing you need to worry about now is not letting anypony see your face. If you're lucky, you should be able to walk out of the palace before somepony notices you. Fortunately in disguise, you shouldn't have to fight your way out. Unfortunately, the Royal Guards aren't incompetent, and neither are the changelings. If the commotion coming from the built-in radio inside the helmet is any consideration, this is going be difficult either way.

"Calling all present Royal Guards, including combatant CIA personnel, begin code 7089. This is not a drill. Senator Risen Flagg has been assaulted! The attacker is a Bat Pony, male, and may be still in the building." The radio buzzes with activity as you move down the hallway.

"Hostile within the east side! I repeat, hostile within the east side! Getting into position! Over."

"This is Beige Team. We're starting from top floor, currently going down to search for the suspect. Over."

"Skyward 17 here. Pegasi will watch the windows, crossbows in the ready. Over."

"Earthbound 99 in position, covering all entrances. Over."

"Rover Gates proceeding up from the bottom floor. Over."

"All other teams, we've got the inside control, prepare to surround the palace. Protect the guests and the throne room. Smaller teams, proceed to monitor all hallways. Over."

So its already begun then.

You trot further down the hallway at a brisk pace. There are alternative set of stairs for each hallway or floor. This wouldn't help you avoid them, but you have your own skills to use. Eventually you arrive at the stairs and go down a few floors. Eventually you stop and leave the staircase, you don't go down any further, at least, not yet. In the hallway, you act as if you're searching the culprit, aka YOU, looking through rooms and securing each. Eventually you hear the hoof steps of an incoming team.

"Crap!" you quietly curse at yourself as they approach.

"Soldier, what team are you with, and why are you alone?" one of them asks. You keep your face hidden from them as best you can.

"Team Root Yolk. My fellow comrades and I figured we'd split up when the siren came on. We're going to meet back down when we are done securing the area." you respond to them as you close the door to the room you're "searching" though.

"I see," there was a pause for a moment as they sprinted right up to you before looking away and nodding to their own teammates. "We'll take care of it from here. Stay here, though. I'll radio in a unicorn to scan you and have one of us keep guard just to make sure. Sorry, but we have to be sure."

You nod in understanding. You could never be too careful in your own line of work either. Even if they weren't changeling its not like you could blame them. With that done the other team left you be to continue their search, leaving only you and a single stallion behind. The exact moment they were out of hearing range though, you quickly punch the stallion and knock him out. After hiding him in the room you were searching before and removing his radio-helmet, you proceed back to the staircase to go down one floor further.

As you reach the corner that leads to the staircase you press yourself into a wall and look around to see any if there are any other guards. Thankfully you don't see any. It was strangely quiet too. After a few moments you hear the telltale sounds of guards below you, so you'll have to take your chances and get to the other stairwell. Not wasting any time, you take off and bolt across the hallway. Suddenly, as you're running you hear another set of hoof steps running at you, as if they are trying to make a jump on you.

Without stopping you unfasten breastplate you're wearing, toss it aside and unfurl your wings to give yourself an extra speed boost. Within less than a second the world became a blur, with only your sensitive hearing from your built in echolocation to help you maneuver yourself through the hallways, the hoof steps from behind you turning to heavy wing flaps. Quickly you take a left, then another left, then a right, then a left again, and then you realize the lack of stationary guards around here. You don't need a sixth sense to know that the changelings have finally made their move. After you make one last right you pause to turn around and wait for them to come around the corner.

The literal instant you see the tip of a muzzle, you jump out from the corner and tackle the pony-disguised-changeling to the floor, pin it to the ground with your spear, and slam its head onto the marble floor, putting it to sleep.

A second and third try to spring onto you, but you quickly roll off the pony you just tackled to the side and stand back up to face them. Standing back up, you can see two on your left, and a third on your right, and while they all look like solar guards, you can tell they aren't. They walk up to you menacingly, eyes darkly glowing that familiar, sickly color. As you shift your attention between all three of them however, one particular part of them stands out. They all look like royal guards, and surely they would be able to fool any normal passerby, but they all had something that distinguished them from regular royal guards.

None of them wielded the large, golden spears that were common to the royal guard. Instead, they all had something that was about as long as one of their legs, dark black in color, and had a long, yet small, barrel at the end. At the sight of those things, you felt whatever breath you had suddenly evaporate as any and all hope you had of making out of here slowly left you. You had seen these things before, and you cringed in a mixture of fear, disgust, and amazement of the simple, yet sheer destructive power these things were capable of when the senator first introduced these things to the Equestrian military, and of course, you being second in command of the CIA, were one of the first ponies to see them as well as test fire them. In all of their hooves, were guns, and all of them were pointed at you.

As your eyes drew back on the gun being held by the guard directly in front of you before moving back up to his face, your sense of instinct caught something as you saw his mouth twitch a bit.

Suddenly, right as the guard fired his gun, you pounced on the one on your right, making the guard who shot at you miss and hit the wall behind you, the bullets from his gun practically ripping right through the wall of the palace like it was paper. You leap onto the guard to your right with your left hind leg out and your wings extended, effectively sticking a hoof to it's face before you fly around him and use him as a pony shield. Neither of the two remain guards though seemed to care though, as the other guard who had previously been behind you fired off another shot from his own gun. You quickly duck your own head as the other guard's shot hits the pony you're holding right in the head. You practically freeze as you watch the bullet tear through his skull and helmet and embed itself into the wall behind you.

Before you freeze completely, your instincts kick back in and you push your former meat shield off of you right into the guard in front of you. With him momentarily distracted, you use your wings to propel yourself back away before turning around and running down the hallway. The two guards behind you then take off after you within moments. One of them fires another shot at you, but misses and you keep going. As much as those guns freaked you out when you first saw them, you aren't about to let them stop you now. Even if one of those bullets somehow manages to tear through your flesh. Eventually down the hallway you notice another corner coming up. As you get in closer, you fly up, bounce off a wall to turn around a corner as if you're trying to build up speed, but instead, you stop yourself and wait the moment you round the corner. The moment you're back on your feet you push your back to the wall of the corner and wait. What you were about to do was an old trick, but sometimes it still works.

Right as the two ponies following you are about to turn the corner, you stick your spear out, causing both of them to trip over. Before either of them can hit the ground though, you drop your spear, jump out, grapple one of them by its head, then spin in a circle and swing it into the second, tumbling the two of them into a wall. One of them got up before the other though and swung the but of his gun at you, but you ducked before he could hit you and grabbed it before he could pull it back around. The two of you wrestled with the gun for a moment as the guard tried to head-butt you, but you moved your head back a bit before he could hit you. Behind him though, you notice the other guard begin to get back up. Quickly, before he has a chance to react, you punch him right through his helmet right in the face and take out his knee before you spin the gun around in his hooves and tear it from his grasp.

With the stallion's gun, you quickly leap to your left right as the guard behind him shoots at you. The moment your hooves hit the floor you roll back up, aim the still, to you, unfamiliar device right at the other guard, and shoot him right through the head with it, making him drop to the floor like a sack of potatoes. You then turn your sights towards the other guard, whose you see charging at you. Without thinking, you pull the trigger of the device again and unload all the bullets into you can into him. Every single one rips right through his armor as he crashes right into you and calls on top of you, even more dead than he would be if he were beheaded.

"Seventh and Eighth floor secured. Moving onwards. Over," you hear buzz the radio of the helmet that you are still wearing.

"Got through Ninth and Tenth floors. Where is this guy!?"

"What the hell was that noise!?"

"It doesn't matter just check it out!"

Never mind that the blood of another pony, scratch that, a changeling, is on your hooves right now, as you've just killed a pony in a way that most of your training with weapons has rendered obsolete. If they didn't know where you were before, they probably do now, its not like the noises these things made when they went off were quiet. With a bit of effort, you push the dead changeling off of you and get back up.

The moment you get back on your hooves however, the sound of gunfire suddenly rings from the hallway you leapt into when you rounded the corner. Again, you manage to roll out of the way again before he hits you, though one of the bullets does manage to barely graze your left rear leg.

"Damnit!" you curse yourself again as you hide behind the corner opposite the hallway, the gun close to your chest. Slowly, you wait as the sound of hooves draws ever near. As it draws close, you point your gun right at the corner, expecting to shoot the pony right as he rounds the corner. The moment you see the faintest hint of a muzzle, you pull the trigger and fire. However, right as you do, the pony suddenly backs away and you hit nothing. Before you can even react, the guard behind the corner suddenly gets low, rounds the corner, hits you in the stomach with the butt of his gun, then with one more swipe as he gets back up, knocks your own gun out of your hooves before holding his own gun sideways like a spear and pinning you to the wall with it.

"Well, well, well. It seems you've finally been dealt into the game," the guard in question hissed happily to you as you watch his eyes glow green for a second. "Risen Flagg has talked so much about you."

"Flattered," you respond with a glare.

"He said to let you squirm a little," he responded as the smile on his face grew a little. "So I hope you wouldn't mind I if I took a bite. Would you?"

The moment those words left his mouth, the still very recent memory of your boss getting devoured came to mind as your mind replayed all of it, all in every horrifying, gory little detail. His insides exposed, his fruitless attempts of struggle, his screams...

"Yaaah!" you yell in a rush of adrenaline as you suddenly find the strength to push it and the gun on your neck off of you. Still holding onto the guard's gun, all in one motion you twist your entire body and rip it right out of its grasp, then spin around and hit him right in the head with it. Taken aback, he staggers, seizing the moment, you go in for the brutal takedown. You hit him with two hits to the knee and chest, before shooting him in the head with his own gun, effectively killing him.

You huff and puff as you hold the gun tightly in your hooves.

'I don't think I'll be sleeping tonight,' you thought as you lowered the strange weapon. 'Risen. I should've seen this coming. Maybe I've lost this battle, but I'm not letting my brother be taken from me now... Damn it! No time to think! I have to move!' The moment you finish that thought though, your sensitive ears pick something up. Something behind you.

You blink, and your ears twitch as you turn your head around. There, terrified, is a young Solar Guard about to put a hoof to his helmet. Before he can even do that though, you pounce on him, pull his helmet away and you stand over him, the barrel of your gun pointed right at his face. With his helmet out, his thin face was completely out in the open. A light orange coat and a mane of a darker hue, freckles on the cheeks, terror in the brown eyes, and a narrow snout. Scrawny and pitiful is what can describe this curious misfit. He was breathing heavily, he was sweating, he was terrified, there was no way he could be a changeling.

Look at pumpkin.
Pick up pumpkin.
Win.

"Pumpkin!" a voice of concern suddenly shouts out of nowhere.

Taking a glance, you see a pair of ponies approaching. Likely, part of a same team. You inwardly growl. It's against procedure to call one another by name during active duty or operations, and it's indisciplinary to show such emotions. At the same time however, another part of you pulls back from the young guard at your hooves. If anything, this indiciplinary action just proved to you that neither he, nor his team were changelings at all. You look back down on the small stallion. He whimpers.

You let out a loud growl as you drop the gun, pick up Pumpkin, stand back up on your hind legs, and throw Pumpkin towards his team as if he is as light as a colt. They catch him, but they fall over. Before they can get back up, you run towards them, then jump over and pass them, going down the next set of stairs.

"T-the suspect is wearing disguise! He appears as if he's one of us. Now he's going down the fourth floor! Over!" the radio screams.

"Stand-bys from bottom floor to fourth floor, assemble and prepare to apprehend him!"

Knowing that your disguise has been blown, you rip it off as you fly down the stairs, keeping the helmet as you land again and gallop down through the third floor, giving no heed to the soldiers call for you to stop until you see a pony-barricade at the end of the hallway to block your path, and every single pony in the barricade had guns.

"STOP RIGHT THERE MOTHER****ER!" one of them shouts at you. Immediately, you turn around and run the other way down the hallway away from the stairs, only for every single pony in the barricade to fire at you as you barely, JUST BARELY, round one corner down another hallway and watch them destroy the wall at the end of the hallway you were just in with the sheer number of bullets flying through it. All the while the loud noises their guns made kept assaulting your ears. Seriously, your ears were not made for something like this. It was bad enough when it was a few guards and they were only firing off a few shots cause you sucked it up, but this. This was just painful.

With your options limited, you look down the new hallway you just dove into, only to see that it's a dead end. It's not even a very long hallway, all that's there is an Oak wood door at the end.

You prefer not to face the noise of many guards shooting at you.

You bust through the door into a dark room. Quickly you close the door back up and push a nearby cabinet of unknown contents in front of it to prevent anypony from getting in. Outside you can still hear the continuing gunfire, but thanks to the door its a bit muffled now, which makes your ears feel better at least. After a few moments though it finally stops.

At that, you let out a sigh great relief as the assaulting noise finally stops, only for a sudden realization to come upon you as you do. Why did they stop? Why did they stop shooting? Slowly you back away from the door, trying to figure out what to do. What to do? There was no way out of here, and its not like they would try to stop shooting you. If they stopped it was only for a moment, you knew that, the minute they figured out where they were they would start shooting again. What do you do? The answer came out of the radio.

"Hold your fire! He's in the gunpowder room!"

The silence that followed that was like clarity. Circling around, you see that the room you are in is indeed the Gunpowder room with every explosive thing you could care to name right now. Crates full of dynamite and sulfur, oil, and even chemistry set with various chemicals to go with it. This is any demolitionists safe haven, and you can't help but laugh.

"Grey," you say in between your little fits of laughter. "Looks like you've won this bet."

-A few moments later-

Unicorns line up in front of the doorway, horns lighting up. Earth ponies ready their spears, or guns, whatever they were using. Pegasi above the entrance to get the jump on you. That's what you imagine as you listened to them on the radio. They've been talking about their positioning for the past few minutes. They've also shouted a series of threats at you through the door.

You'll happily accept this luck. Now, at this point, what's the worst that could happen once you light the fuse? Even if it somehow failed, you'd still likely end up dead. If not from the explosion then from the legion of guards outside with guns.

With a smile on your face you light up a match and set aflame to a little string. The moment you finish that you run to the other side of the room, where you placed some crates as buffers for the explosion. Hopefully they would work... hopefully. After leaping behind them to safety, you plug your ears, and mentally count down.

4. 3. 2. 1...

BOOM!

Your entire body vibrates by the sudden disturbance of the atmosphere. It feels heavy, warm, hot, and then cool, but then nauseous.

Also, your ears are ringing. You really don't like things blowing up, they hurt your sensitive ears. Even more so than the sounds those guns made when they went off. Debris scatters around and smoke is all you can see.

You're not done though, not yet, not by a long shot. Quickly, you throw a smoke bomb that you also made across the room. Hopefully this will allow for evening the odds.

With disoriented sense, a sore body, and imbalance, it's time to gamble.

With the smoke disorienting the guards, whether they had spears, guns, or otherwise, you ran like the clever colt you are, and you will remember to mention the bet to Grey Rebl when you two meet.

Running.

It was all in slow motion. The stumbling, unable to hear the inaudible shouts, the grey air leaving your breathing rag, the bumping of some objects. Changeling or Pony, you didn't know. You didn't care. There was only one thing that mattered now.

Running.

You run back into the hallway. You take a turn, then another turn. Then as you round that turn you throw another smoke bomb. Though the smoke you continue running. Amidst the sluggish processing of your mind, you came upon another idea. Quickly, yet still sluggishly, you maneuver around a few guards, and run into what you believe to be a door. Opening it, you stumble.

Falling.

You blink. You don't remember falling flat on your face.

'Stand up, damn it!' you shout at yourself as you will your legs to make you stand back up again. As you get back on your hooves, you see light peer through the smoke. A rectangular shape of light. It seemed so... solid. A transparent surface. Maybe... With just a few more steps... Move...

Struggling.

Move...

Standing.

MOVE!

Running.

FUCKING RUN!!!
Windows are good, open several, then run around for a while, backtrack and jump out of one at a height which will allow you to continue the FUCKING RUNNING!!!
don't fly because the temptation to fly high is too much and if you do, you make a wondrous moving target for anyone with a projectile weapon.

CRASH!

You're out of the smoke, and you have just crashed through a window, head first. Time is still moving at less than half speed. You feel everything as you fall. Your wings spreading, the air beneath your wings, the smell of sweaty ponies, the running, the glass falling with you, and the sunlight refracting from them. Rainbows flash into your eyes.

This experience... is nothing you're a stranger to.

Run! You got to get to Appleloosa, stat! Don't take the train, probably watched/guarded by changelings. Flying out would lead to the same problem, being spotted. Your best bet is to go through the sewers/caves under the city and sneak out if you can. I mean, the sewer has to go out somewhere, right?
Stealth Time. Take a cloak, hide in the shadows, and stay alert at a constant rate. They're out to kill you, and you can't fight them all. But you can take them out one at a time if it comes to that.

You know what you have to do. Even though you just escaped the palace. You're not done, not even remotely. Somehow, you've got to get to Appaloosa. You've got to warn Grey Rebl.

-Side Story-

-The Dalek Flagship, The Caesar-

Swimming Dalek's room

… I wat? What do you guys DO in your spare time? The f*ck? I thought I was the weird one in the group!

*Swimming Dalek sat at the only table in his room, his face perpetually frozen from the sheer and utter shock of what he had just heard. His fingers were barely able to hold onto the last bite of his hot dog as he let it drop back onto his plate.*

Swimming Dalek: What?...... I..... I did all that?

Random Dalek: Yes, Commander.... You did...

SD: I.... I....

*Swimming Dalek almost falls backwards and faints, but he manages to stop himself by grabbing his table. Neither of the two Daleks in the room make any effort to help him, as he seems to pull himself up just fine.*

Dalek Regulus: Would you... like to view the security footage?

SD: No... no I don't think that's necessary. I just have one question.

Random Dalek: State it.

SD: Where is BRP right now?

-The Starship Enterprise-

The Enterprise Medbay

Sidestory...
BRP will calm down eventually but for now he screams until he is out of breath and then inhales for 2 seconds and then resumes screaming....
Someone get him some morphene...

Meanwhile, in BS's head as he is still doing a terrible rendition of this : I'M A TREE!!! (He's still going to get the suit.)

*Gordon Freebrony just keeps staring in confusion at Registered Anonymous' as he keeps holding his hand out for him to shake it. As he has never really met Registered Anonymous before, he is naturally confused for many reasons, as is Bones and Nurse Ratchet. Bronze Statue though, just says nothing, as he fully understands the confusion. Suddenly, all of this is interrupted by BRP screaming like its all he can do now again.*

Gordon Freebrony: Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..................

BRP: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nurse Ratchet: Doctor!

Registered Anonymous: *immediately pulls his hand away from Gordon Freebrony and pulls out the bottle of peach vodka again* DON'T WORRY BRP! THE DOCTOR I-

McCoy: NOT YOU!

BRP: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GF: Wow, I wonder how long he can scream before he has to inhale again. I mean, yeah this can't be good for him, but all things considered, thats kind of impressive.

Ratchet: He needs morphine.

M: WELL THEN SOMEONE GET SOME MOR-

*Suddenly, before he can even finish that sentence, Registered Anonymous suddenly pulls out from his coat a large... very large, syringe full of morphine and with a quick injection of.... well, all of it, BRP finally stops screaming.*

RA: There, all done. Told you the doctor would take care of you man.

*Everyone, including Bronze Statue just stares at Registered Anonymous like he's a government sanctioned maniac, which he is.*

RA: What?

M: What was that?

RA: What was what?

M: That?

RA: What?

M: That... what you just injected him with?

RA: Oh this, morphine.

M: *looks at syringe.* Where did you get that?

RA: I found it.

M: You found it where?

RA: In my own private stash.

Bronze Statue: You have a private stash of morphine?

RA: Don't judge me!

GF: Right.... well in any case, it worked, he's fine. He is fine right?

Ratchet: His vitals are stabilizing. He's fine sir. Sill unconscious, but fine.

GF: Right.... So..... can I have my suit now?

M: Damnit Freebrony why are you still asking about that!?

GF: Why wouldn't I ask about it? I mean, it is mine after all. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to-

*Gordon Freebrony tries to get up, but is restrained by McCoy, who pushes him back onto the bed.*

M: Oh no you don't, you're not leaving this room until I say so.

GF: What, why!?

M: Because I say so. *starts shining a light into GF's eyes.*

GF: Fine *relaxes against his bed.* Can you at least just tell me where it is.

M: Dammit, Freebrony, I'm a doctor not an equipment manager! I don't know where your suit is. I was just told to tell you that there was trouble in the middle of the ship if you asked about it. Ask the captain if you really wanna know where it is. *keeps examining Gordon.*

GF: Fine, just get me a line to-

BS: I'll go.

*both Gordon Freebrony and McCoy turn to look at him.*

GF and McCoy: What?

BS: I'll go get your suit. I needed something to do anyway. I'm not getting much done sitting here anyway.

Nana: *Bronze Statue is still wearing BRP's wrist computer* Also, if I may, I would suggest getting some coffee too. You seem like you need it.

GF: Who was that?

RA: Oh, hey Nana, good to see you again.

GF: Who the f*** is Nana?

Nana: I am Nana.

BS: It's a long story. I'll tell you later once I get your suit.

*At that, Bronze Statue starts walking out of the room.*

BS: Come on RA.

RA: What, why?

BS: I might need your help with something, and honestly, I don't think you standing there with strange morphine needles and peach vodka is the best thing for BRP right now.

RA: Hmmmmmmmmm *thinks about this for a minute.* Okay, but the minute he wakes up I'm coming back. Even if we're in the middle of something.

BS: Fine.

*Bronze Statue, and by extension Nana and Hugh Jackman since he is still wearing BRP's wrist computer, and Registered Anonymous start to leave the room. Right as the door opens, Bronze Statue turns back around.*

BS: Sorry I forgot to ask. Where is the captain right now?

M: I don't know. Try his quarters. He's probably there right now waiting for one of us to tell him when we can do anything.

BS: Thanks.

*At that, Bronze Statue and Registered Anonymous finally leave the medbay. With them gone, and now somewhat relaxed, Gordon Freebrony just lays back on his medbay bed as Bones continues to look him over. As he does, he looks over to Zecora, who is still sleeping soundly, and still unconscious.*

GF: You know, all things considered, I'm impressed that she can sleep through all that screaming.

BRP: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GF: And there it goes.

Ratchet: DOCTOR!

*McCoy immediately leaves Gordon Freebrony and goes back to help Nurse Ratchet in looking after BRP. All the while, Gordon Freebrony just lays against his bed watching Zecora, who is still sleeping peacefully despite all the racket, which he is kind of jealous of.*

GF: 4... 5... 6... 7... 8...

Just Outside the Medbay, in the hallways

*Bronze Statue and Registered Anonymous walk away from the Medbay through the hallways of the USS Enterprise.*

RA: So.... do you even know where the captain's quarters are?

BS: No, but I can find out. *Pulls up BRP's wrist computer and hits a few buttons on it.* Hey Hugh, or Nana, you there?

Both Hugh and Nana: Always.

BS: Do you still have that map of the ship? This ship I mean, not The Caesar.

Nana: Of course.

Hugh: I'm guessing you wanna know the way to the captain's quarters.

BS: Eeyup.

Hugh: All right. *a quick map of the ship pops up and gives Bronze Statue the information he wants.*

BS: All right thanks.

Nana: No need to thank us. It's what we're here for.

RA: All right. Now up to the captain's quarters and OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH....................

*Registered Anonymous suddenly stops dead in his tracks. Bronze Statue doesn't see it, but he has a feeling that behind RA's mask is a look of sudden, and horrific realization, and it kind of scares him.*

BS: What?

RA: We need to get to the captain's quarters..... right now...... I...... I think there might be a situation.

BS: What kind of situation?

Captain Kirk's private quarters

*Captain Kirk finds himself unable to close his eyes as he can't help but stare at the two hot.......... very. Very. Hot........ ladies making sweet, sweet love to each other on his bed. Slim and Jim, the two ladies in question, don't really do anything, they just keep watching him to see what he would do.*

Kirk: Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......................

Slim: Can we help you?

-Game of Twits-

Meanwhile in Ponyville –

A tall white pegasus mare walks down the streets near the Hay-Burger, her stomach rumbles slightly and she stops to look towards the restaurant. She flits her black mane as she walks towards the doors of the restaurant and silently opens the door.

Clerk: Welcome to Hay-Burger, can I take your order?

Pegasus: I’ll take a double hay burger with the large fries and a sparling lemonade.

Clerk: That’ll be eight bits.

Pegasus: (opens her saddlebags and withdrew the bits) Here you are.

Clerk: Can I take your name please?

Pegasus: Fleur du Mal.

Clerk: Okay, when your order is ready, we’ll call your name Miss Mal.

Fleur Mal: Thanks. (walks over to a table and waits patiently when she notices two stallions, one a tan pegasus with a black mane and a dark grey unicorn with a brown shaggy mane walking towards her. The two stallions take a seat across from her and immediately beginning talking)

Daedalus: Hi.

Razor (not the Author): Hiya. Anyone ever tell you that you are absolutely gorgeous?

Fleur: (glares at him, her dark blue eyes cold in the artificial light)

Razor: You know, I’ve never seen a pegasus like you and that cutie-mark of yours, what exactly is it?

Fleur: It’s an ink spot. I work as a library clerk.

Razor: Oh…so you’re really smart. I like that.

Fleur: Listen, I’m…

Razor: So, how about I pick you up at around eight o’clock and we could hit a movie or maybe do something really…smartish.

Fleur: I’m…

Razor: Maybe just have a romantic dinner with…

Fleur: Look here, Mehrunes Dagon Razor, I would never ever engage in any kind of relationship with you even if you were the last stallion in all of Equestria, let alone anywhere on this entire planet.

Daedalus: How about…

Razor: What?

Fleur: And let me tell you this much, I know things about the both of you that would turn your coats whiter than snow. Daedalus Olympus, the reason why you are such a workaholic and a snob is because you are trying to compensate for the fact that you are insecure about your own intelligence to the point that you have somehow managed to alienate every single pony that you’ve ever come into contact with.

Daedalus: (jaw drops)

Razor: Try me.

Fleur: You’ve engaged in more carnal relations than almost any other pony in the entire nation.

Razor: Yeah, everypony knows that.

Fleur: Not all of your partners were mares.

Razor: (eyes narrow to pencil points as Daedalus just stares at him)

Clerk: Miss Fleur du Mal, your order is ready.

Fleur: YAY! (quickly rushes over and returns with her burger and drink)

Razor: Well…that’s just…

Fleur: Beat it or I begin discussing what position your mother was in when you were conceived.

Razor and Daedalus: (run out of the diner)

Fleur: Amateur jackasses (begins eating).

Ten minutes later –

Fleur: Ok, so the quickest way to get to her house is via that alley located just over… ah ha, here.

She trots quietly down the street, enjoying the silence the alleyway afforded her and while she could fly, her trip was only a five minute leisurely walk down the street so it really would not matter all that much.

All at once, a guard pony rounded the corner and stepped in front of her.

Fleur: Oh, sorry, I was just on my way to see a friend.

Guard: You know that it’s dangerous to walk down the alleys of this town, especially after the execution (leans in closer)

Fleur: Step away or I’ll have to hurt you.

Guard: Please (his eyes flashed a green hue for a second) what could a little filly like you do to harm me?

Fleur: You see (the Warhammer of Zillyhoo appears) I am the rather good at getting ponies hammered.

Guard: (skull crushed into a pulp)

Fleur: Well that takes (ear twitches) Oh shit. (runs down the street)

All at once, Razor the Awesome appears and finds the mutilated changeling.

Razor: Heavens to Ziltoid, what the fuck fucked you up?

Looks around and sees a blood covered flowerpot laying nearby and a ledge clearly missing its flowerpot.

Razor: That seems very convenient and highly unlikely. (looks down the alleyway) Better make a house call.

At Roseluck’s House –

Daisy: There’s someone at the door.

Roseluck: I’ll get it. (opens the door) Hi, may I help you?

Fleur: Just say that I’m your foreign exchange student friend from high school.

Roseluck: What?

Fleur: Just say it.

Roseluck: Why?

Razor: Hi, there new pony I don’t believe that we’ve had the pleasure of meeting.

Fleur: My name is Fleur du Mal, Roseluck’s old friend from high school.

Razor: Really?

Roseluck: Oh, she’s a foreign exchange student that studied here for a year and then went home.

Razor: Oh, really? (looks at the pony) What country are you from?

Fleur: Prance.

Razor: Vous attendez-vous vraiment que je crois que? (Do you really expect me to believe that?)

Fleur: J'ai grandi à la campagne et que vous commencez à me glisser hors de vous, quel que soit le Tartare vous êtes. (I was raised in the countryside and you are starting to creep me out you, whatever the Tartarus you are.)

Razor: Oh, very well then (snaps his fingers as the ponies become dazed and promptly vanishes)

Roseluck: What the hay is going on?

Fleur: Razor just wiped your memories to make you forget that he was here and I am currently doing everything in my power to edit exactly what he hears from me (slams the door behind her) I have something very important to tell you. (looks at Daisy) Is Lily around?

Daisy: She’s upstairs.

Fleur: Lily, come down here now.

Lily: (trots down the stairs) Who the hay is this?

Fleur: Look, you need to pack your things and take the soonest available train to Canterlot to kill Risen Flag.

Roseluck: I don’ even know you so if you would kindly get out of my house and…

Fleur: Oh for the love of… IT’S ME, DAEDALTHEUS.

DaedaltheusXIV
The Brown Dog spits out the disgusting as all hell pizza right onto the floor then throws the remains against the window.
Brown Dog: Well I was fucking wrong, this Pizza will never not taste like shit. Big Rico’s you disappoint me.
He looks around and notices that there is no one else in the restaurant. All he did was walk in and take a slice from what looked like an abandoned table.

Brown Dog: OK, seriously, where the hell is everyone?
An explosion is heard a few blocks away and he sees smoke and hears screams.
Brown Dog: Is it my birthday already?
He steps outside and witnesses an army of street sweepers going through the streets. Some are just cleaning the roads as normal, but there are some that are crashing through buildings, destroying cars, and killing people.

Brown Dog: Ohhhhh….street sweeping day…right.
The Street Sweepers run over a running couple, and they simply disappear, no blood or anything. He sees one destroying the Sheriff’s Secret Police’s black helicopter. He then sees one completely obliterate what was left of the Cecil statue.

Brown Dog: …oh well, they’ll just build another one if they’re smart.
He then hears screeching tires and loud gunfire, he sees the Coup De Ville roaring like a bat out of hell down the street being driven by some sort of school girl while a black haired chick with glasses and what looks like a canon rifle is firing and yelling at the street sweepers that chase them. The bullets are bouncing off the street sweepers and some of them are helping wreck the sides of buildings. They drive right past the Brown Dog as they escape.

Brown Dog: Well that looks like fun (waves at the girls in the car with the Dick Butt scratch on it) HI!
Whether they heard him or not he doesn’t know as they keep on driving shooting

Brown Dog: Huh, looks like they’re having the time of their lives…and why aren’t I? (He smiles deviously then whistles)
A street sweeper hears him and rushes at him with its deadly circular bristles sweeping the concrete as it charges. It goes right through him as if he wasn’t actually there and it rams right into the entrance of Big Rico’s.
The Brown Dog then pulls out a Molotov and throws it in the entrance, setting the whole interior on fire, which also seems to kill the street sweeper. He then just watches it burn and smiles.

Brown Dog: Well that’s one wrong righted in this world, now wheat and wheat by products makes me a dull boy. Now right another wrong (thinking while all the destruction and death happens)
OK…Butterflies. That has to be the sugary delicious cream filling middle of this conumdrum. And now I want a Twinkie, but first… Butterflies…hmmmm. Whelp, guess I gotta do this the old fashioned way

Teleports

Outside of a Warehouse in West Virgina at Night
Brown Dog: Mothman! Yo Mothman!
Out of the Mill appears a blurred figure about eight feet tall with glowing red eyes and moth wings
Mothman: Brown Dog…what do you want? (It says in a vocal frequency that no human could ever reach)
Brown Dog: I thought you could read minds and shit
Mothman: Not yours…
Brown Dog: Well thank god for that, you’d be even more fucked up if you did (laughs)
Mothman: …
Brown Dog: heh heh heh, so did you frame me for destruction of private property?
Mothman: No…I’m warning these people about a bridge collapse
Brown Dog: Oh ya, you’re screwing around with Richard Gere, Ok just had to be sure. Oh and here, thought you’d like this
The Brown Dog throws some chapstick and the Mothman catches it
Mothman: Thank you…
Brown Dog: No problem, and you’re sure you didn’t commit a blood pact and dance around a golden statue recently?
Mothman: I am positive…
Brown Dog: Alright then, good luck with your weird as hell movie
The Brown Dog teleports out

In the Godzilla Universe
The Brown Dog has the twin fairies of Mothra tied up to a chair and is dancing around them in a circle to “Stuck in the Middle with You.”
Fairies: You must let us go, we must awaken Mothra the world is in danger of King Ghidora.
Brown Dog: In a minute you little bitches! (Pulls out foldable razor) First I need some answers
Fairies: Do not hurt us, we mean you no harm
Brown Dog: Well if that’s the case, then why did you frame me!
Fairies: We don’t know of what you speak
Brown Dog: Bullshit! I know it was you, now confess!
Fairies: But we have done nothing
Brown Dog: Oh so you didn’t mark anything with the symbol of a butterfly in the blood of several animals?
Fairies: No! We would never do such a thing! We care about all life on the Earth!
Brown Dog: Ah, so you’re hippies then? (douses them in gasoline) this isn’t really helping your case
Fairies: Please, if we do not awaken Mothra will then the world will be in peril
Brown Dog: But Mothra always dies or gets her ass kicked, it’s Godzilla that ends up winning.
Fairies: It is our duty, please!
Brown Dog: Oh Ok then, but only because you said please (releases them)
Fairies: We must go now, but know this, we did not frame you strange creature
Brown Dog: Ya I figured that, but still it was fun while it lasted
Teleports out
Fairies: What a douchebag

In the Star Trek: The Next Generation Universe
The Brown Dog sits in front of Geordi La Forge with a .44 Magnum pointed between his visor
Brown Dog: Alright Burton, why’d you do it, where are they? Where’s the trigger!!! (Batman Voice)
La Forge: What?
Brown Dog: Yes it’s magical to read, but those butterflies aren’t made of blood you sicko!
La Forge: What are you talking about?
Brown Dog: You know…”Butterfly in the sky…”
La Forge: …?
Brown Dog: “I can go twice as high. Take a look, it’s in a book, a Reading Rainbow!”
La Forge: I still have no idea what you’re talking about. Is that you Q?
Brown Dog: No, I’m much more handsomer…now why did you frame me?
La Forge: I don’t even know who you are!
Brown Dog: Oh sure you don’t….Wait, you don’t?
La Forge: Shakes his head
Brown Dog: Oh then who the hell am I thinking of?...Oh well, punch Wesley for me (smiles and disappears.
La Forge: …What the fu…

In a Van down by the river
Brown Dog: So then I visited the moth priest in Skyrim, but the dude was blind, so now I’m out of leads.
Matt Foley: Well it seems to me that you are in quite a pickle. As am I…I haven’t done drugs in God knows how long, and now I’m seeing a talking dog. I guess that’s what happens when YOU’RE LIVING IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!!!
Brown Dog: Hey it’s not so bad (takes a bite out of the Government Cheese Matt survives on)
Matt Foley: Well let me tell you something young man, if you’re at the scene of a crime, you have to look at all the evidence, and put them together. If you forget a vital clue, you’ll lose your job and end up LIVING IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!!!
Brown Dog: Hmmm…what could I have missed? The bloody butterfly is the clue….wait, the blood! That’s it! Yer a genius Matt!
Matt Foley: Well I don’t give a rat’s patootey, I’m coming with you
Brown Dog: Nah, no thanks
Matt Foley: I’m coming with you whether you like it or not, I’m sick and tired of LIVING IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!!!
Brown Dog: Sorry, no habla espanol (Teleports out)
Matt Foley: DAMNIT!!!

In the Twin Peaks Universe
The Brown Dog has hundreds of animal flash cards set up in front of bottles. He has several rocks in his hands and is out in the middle of the woods.
Brown Dog: OK, Bird, Big Mammal, and Draconian DNA. Two things that can fly, and one that can’t…Some kind of hybrid?
Throws the rock and it hits a fire breathing dragon card
Brown Dog: That’s a yes…now does an enemy possess it?
Throws rock and misses
Brown Dog: Hmm…A friend?
Throws rock and misses
Brown Dog: Oh right, I don’t have friends (face paws) silly me. Do I know them?
Throws rock and it breaks a card in front of a Golden Eagle
Brown Dog: Alright, so it has wings and it breathes fire, and it’s still obviously a mammal, and there was magic from what Cortana said…Wait a minute.
Brown Dog throws the next rock and it hits the bottle in front of a Giant Panda
Brown Dog: A magical winged fire breathing panda…of course it had to be him…Well this is gonna be fun (genuinely smiles)
Teleports out with all his flash cards and bottles going to Hammer Space

The Brown Dog teleports into a castle of unadulterated insanity. All around are giant ornate structures covered in crazy ramblings and all kinds of toys litter the floor. In the middle of this throne room sits a bipedal figure sitting upon a giant chair. He is laughing crazily

??...Nyah, nyaaaahhhhh, nyaaahhhhahaaahahahahahahaha
Brown Dog: You done?
?: ….Yes that’s enough fan service for now.
Brown Dog: Zant…you got some explainin to do
Zant: Oh yes quite so, but first let me sing you a song I wrote with my Abacus
Brown Dog: That’s a Pine Cone
Zant: Shut up, it helps me with math!…ahem… (Music comes out of Nowhere)
Come with me to a world of pure imagination,Go to hell Willy Wonka this is my destination! It’s a land of severe psychological pain. Welcome Brown Dog, to the realm known as Zant’s Domain…
Brown Dog: (Smiles and wags his tail) this is gonna be funner than I thought…

Author's Note

status: edited

Valar Morghulis

Smoke still filled the entire hallway as Risen Flagg walked through it. While many of the guards, despite the fact that they may have been changelings, were still on the floor coughing up lungs, Risen Flagg did not seem bothered by the smoke. In fact, it didn't even seem to phase him. It was like the smoke might as well have not been there for him at all, or that he was somehow breathing it the same way he were air.

Thankfully enough for the guards though, the smoke had now spread thin and was beginning to dissipate.

As it began to clear, Risen Flagg walked past the kicked down door into the office, and up to the window that Clustershine had leapt through in attempt to escape that despite the guards best efforts, they could not prevent. Unfazed by the remaining smoke, the guards, or the destruction around him, Risen Flagg walked right up to the window, right over the few bits of broken glass, which didn't so much as phase his hooves much like the smoke, and looked out.

He looked out the window into the city of Canterlot and down into the street below. Sadly for him, the former second in command of the CIA, Clustershine, was nowhere to be seen. Behind him, the smoke had cleared enough for some of the guards to start standing getting back up and helping the other guards, but Risen didn't pay them any mind. On his face, the beginnings of a smile began to form.

"RISEN!!!!" A very familiar to him voice shouted at him as he pulled himself away from the window and turned around, only to have Trixie throw her hooves around him as she ran right through the office despite the remaining smoke and guards right at him. "I heard about what happened!" She practically shouts as she squeezed him tight. "I was so worried I-"

"Shh.... It's all right," Risen said to her before she could finish as he returned her hug. "I'm all right, everything is all right. I'm fine." The very sound of his voice was enough to console her, though she didn't let go of him. Behind her, Risen looked up to see his faithful butler Joseph Curwen walking up to them in the same manner he did any occasion.

"Sir," he said to Risen as he reached him. Risen didn't respond as he gently broke off of Trixie's hug and turned back around. As he did, Curwen took a step forward and stood to his right as he joined him in looking out the window. To Risen's left, stood Trixie, with Risen's hoof still around her neck, as if to comfort her. "So he got away?" Curwen asked as he looked down into the street.

"Regrettably yes," Risen replied.

"Mr. Flagg!" A rather tall guard, presumably a captain, shouted as he ran into the room accompanied by two other guards, both armed with M-16 assault rifles, and oddly enough, Screwloose, who seemed to be carrying a clipboard with her. "We heard about what happened. Are you-"

"You can drop the act," Risen Flagg stated as the door to the office suddenly closed tight behind them on its own seemingly without the aid of magic. The three guards and Screwloose seemed confused for an odd moment. Eventually though, the head guard let out a sigh and seemed to relax a little.

"As you wish," the guard stated as it suddenly became engulfed in green flames. When the flames cleared, the guard was no longer there, in it's place stood Queen Chrysalis. "You two, guard the door. We do not wish to be disturbed."

"As you command!" Both guards said as they both took positions by the door while both Queen Chrysalis and Screwloose walked up to the window with Risen Flagg, Trixie, and Curwen. Queen Chrysalis however, ran more than walked.

"Risen Flagg I must sincerely apologize!" Queen Chrysalis practically shouted as she took a position next to Curwen. Though as she spoke she tried to get around him to speak more directly to Flagg, but Curwen refused to move. "I do, from the bottom of my heart, soul, and from the very core of my being do apologize for the failure of my changelings to capture the fugitive. I assure you that all available changelings are scouring the city looking for him as we speak. As for the ones that let him leave the palace, they will be punished, strictly punished. They-"

"That will not be necessary," Flagg said to her before she could finish. "And there is no need to apologize." As those words, he looked over at her and smiled, as if he were somehow happy.

"Ri... Ris-" As Chrysalis tried to speak, from behind them all, Slenderpony and Revenant Sombra walked out from the walls and joined them all at the window.

"Haypennywise," Flagg suddenly said as he turned his attention back down towards the street. "Did you find it?"

"Of course," the voice of Haypennywise suddenly said as he just as suddenly dropped down from the ceiling and landed between Trixie and Screwloose, startling them both. "Anyone- sorry, anypony, can keep anything hidden from a few changelings, but they can't hide anything from me."

"Excellent," Risen replied without even looking at Haypennywise. "Everything is proceeding as planned."

"You... You wanted this to happen?" Chrysalis asked, confused.

"Of course," Risen Flagg replied. "Whatever changelings you have searching for Clustershine, call them off."

"But sir, I-" Chrysalis tried to say, but Risen Flagg interrupted her.

"Call. Them. Off," he responded to her authoritatively. "Searching for him would be pointless. He's a trained operative of the CIA, he's lives for these kinds of odds, so trying to search for him would be pointless, and besides, we don't need to search for him because we know where he'll go."

"Hehehe," Haypennywise laughed a little at that. As he did, Chrysalis looked up from Risen Flagg over at him, only to see him smiling that same toothy smile he was known for. Chrysalis responded with a glare.

"So what happens now?" Curwen asked, seemingly oblivious to Chrysalis and Haypennywise.

"Now..." Risen Flagg responded as he stepped away from the window. "Before I can tell any of you what happens now there is something I have to check." As he spoke he walked around Trixie and Haypennywise, though Haypennywise had the good sense to get out of his way, and walked right in front of Screwloose.

"Is everything prepared?" he asked her.

"Yes!" Screwloose responded to him, sounding somewhat more excited than she should. "Everything prepared exactly the way you wanted. We are just waiting for your orders."

"Excellent," Risen Flagg said in a rather soothing tone as he brought up a hoof and gently stroked Screwloose's cheek, making her face turn as red as the reddest apple from Sweet Apple Acres. "You have done well, Screwloose."

"My.... My life for you..." was all Screwloose could respond as she closed her eyes and leaned into his hoof. Trixie, as she watched this, a spark went off in her eyes. A spark that threatened to ignite into a flame that could burn down everything she saw, or happened to be standing in front of her. She had to bite her tongue to keep her from growling. Curwen saw this, but like everything else, he paid little attention to it.

Screwloose, she was somewhere else right now.

"My life for you...." she said again.

Day 2

-The Following Morning-

“Risen Flagg!!!” the princess bellowed as the stallion walked into the senator’s room. “I demand an explanation as to why one of the most trusted officials in all of Equestria just leapt through a window.”

“But of course, Princess Celestia,” Flagg replied, his tone suddenly turning grim. “It is as I suspected and given his chase, confirmed, he is an operative working for the suspected insurgency, and on a much dire note, replaced by a changeling operative.”

“That’s not possible...” the Princess balked.

“You see this,” Risen said as he held up a vial of greenish colored liquid, “is a blood sample taken from the spot where he stood when he tried to murder me after I brought up the insurgency and perform the most basic of changeling tests using my mirror on the wall. More importantly, I have confirmed an alternative suspicion concerning the changeling now known as Clustershine, and that is his involvement in the destruction of a top-secret facility owned by my company.”

“What facility?” the Princess began, “I was never made aware that you possessed a facility that was off of the books. You gave us a full listing of all facilities producing these weapons you call guns and other advancements in technology, but never about this one.” The senator sighed and then took in a long breath facing his broken window. After a moment he now turned to face the princess, that cold mechanical smile replaced by a look of genuine concern and at the same time a mix of frustration.

“Because the facility tested and manufactured atomic weapons,” he spoke. At this the princess faltered, the ground around her seeming heavy and her vision becoming blurry. She knew all too well the capabilities of such a weapon. There existed spells in the archives of the library, dozens of them dealing with the power of the atom and the exact repercussions of splitting it. So terrified of this that she forbade the spells and locked away the most disastrous of the megas away.

“WHY IN EQUESTRIA WOULD YOU BUILD SUCH A DEVICE!?” she shrieked, practically causing the glass from the window that remained intact to fall from its place. “The power of the atom is the vilest form of destruction that one can harness and that is just by magic alone, but a mechanical device that actually uses it, that’s outright evil!”

“Not in capable hooves, your highness,” Flag responded. “You see, I was curious about whether or not such a weapon could be developed en mass, and I am here to tell you that it can be.”

“Why?” Celestia asked, worried.

“Fear is the mind-killer and those that do not fear us will always attack us,” Flagg returned. “Imagine an army of hundreds, nay, thousands marching on Equestria with the intent to kill and conquer your kingdom and enslave the citizens of Equestria. They have nothing to fear by the way of retaliation from us, but with such a weapon, no enemy would dare strike us without the fear of atomic fire.”

“I want these weapons destroyed!”

“You’re in luck, the facility possessed two prototypes and a functioning bomb that was detonated, wiping out all records and plans.” he replied.

“Thank the gods.”

“However, there is a problem. One of the functioning prototypes is missing." Risen then said. At this, Celestia froze. "However, we have been able to confirm the location of the prototype to be Appleloosa, and more than likely in the hooves of the enemy.” He continued, drawing a gasp from the princess. “With your permission, I will root out this evil, recover the device and ultimately bring all of these traitors to face your judgment.”

Princess Celestia looked at the stallion, whom now knelt before her like some holy knight awaiting his orders to venture forth on a grand and glorious quest. “Why are you so eager to destroy this foe?”

The senator stood up and walked over to his cabinet, with magic he drew forth a glass and poured himself a drink, which he quickly consumed and replaced the vacant glass with more alcohol.

“I was not always the senator you see before you, Princess Celestia," he said to her. "For I was once but a humble lawyer in the poorer neighborhoods of Canterlot where I met my beloved wife, Hope Cross. We lived a meager life, nothing grand, and with time, she became pregnant with my only child. However, there were...” He drank more. “complications with the birth, resulting in her death as we welcomed my daughter into the world. My daughter grew up so quickly, and tolerated her father’s long absences with love and tolerance, often missing school plays and having to have the neighbors watch her. One day, when she was about ten years old, she was on a trip out west to see the at the time, still being built town of Appleloosa when she was attacked after wandering away from the group. The coroner told me it appeared that she fought back against the attacker, but it was too late. I demanded that something be done about the incident, but no one would do anything. They said the case was cut and dry, not enough evidence. I pleaded with the director of the AIA, but he declined to help me and once I retrieved my daughter’s things, I knew why.” He finished the drink, the look on his face now one of hatred and the violence of a thousand ages as he tossed a worn out and rather retro AIA badge covered in blood onto the desk from within his jacket pocket. “In her bag was a torn badge from an AIA operatives uniform, the kind field agents used to wear, and that’s when I knew that the AIA was covering up some sick murderer amongst their ranks. It was that night when I walked home with her bag that I saw another mare being attacked that I knew that something had to be done, something needed to happen. That somepony needed to rise and take charge and be the champion of justice and since my election to this office, I have endeavored to make sure that happens and this is the final stroke.”

“The AIA...” Celestia mumbled, taken aback by all that she was told.

“I have connected them to the Insurrection, the very plot to destroy your reign, your sister, our way of life, and to my daughter’s death! Let me do this! Give me and all of the ponies of Equestria what they deserve! Justice!” he finished, his kept mane now appearing rather unkempt.

“Very well, you may bring in the AIA for questioning, but nothing more, understand?” Celestia returned.

“Perfectly,” Risen Flag finished.

Celestia walked out of Risen Flagg's office back out into the hallway of the palace. As she made her way back to her throne room, her hooves did not feel like her own, rather than were just moving automatically, like the automated parts of a machine. All of the things that were said, all of the things that she had heard from Risen Flagg. She... she needed time to take in all of this... Even though she had just given Risen the okay to bring in the AIA, she still needed time.

"Sister!" She suddenly heard her sister Luna shout down one of the many hallways as she turned to see her galloping towards her. She didn't even realize it, but she was almost back to her throne room by now.

"Oh.... Um.... Hello Luna," was all you could say back to her as she reached you. "I know you must have heard what happened here. Rest assured, I'm all right, you don't need to worry about me."

"We... we are overjoyed to hear of your safety, dear sister," she said as she started walking with you back to the throne room. "But... but that is not why we are here?" There were no guards present. All available guards were given duties in other areas due to yesterday's events. So at least for the moment, the two of you would have some privacy.

"What is it?" you ask, concerned. Despite everything that's weighing you down right now, you always have a spot open for your dear sister, now matter how dire things get.

"Well..." she began as the two of them reached the throne room and walked inside. Now they had some real privacy. "Some time ago, We inexplicably felt the urge to do something important. We don't know what it was, we were just reading in the library when we felt the urge to do something important... and awesome... Though I am still not quite sure what that word means."

"Luna," you say to her, if only to get her back on track.

"Wha, oh, sorry," she quickly says. "Anyway, when we felt the urge to do something important, we... well, we did a little, investigating as it were, and found this." Then, at that, she lifted up her left wing to show that she had been hiding some kind of file underneath it, which she picked up with her magic and gave it over to Celestia.

Suddenly curious, Celestia opened up the file and quickly started reading through it. Once she saw what was on it's pages though, her eyes went wide. Wider than even the castle she stood itself could contain. Of all the things she had seen, heard, and even smelled today that she couldn't believe, this took the cake.

"Luna," she said to her dear sister, her tone now suddenly serious.

"Yes," Luna responded, ready to listen.

"I need you to do something for me," Celestia said to her as she closed the file.

-Meanwhile, somewhere else-

PERSPECTIVE SHIFT: Twilight Sparkle

(Oh, and Ghost Sombra too, lets not forget about him)

You open your eyes to the familiar sound of "clack, clack, clack...." and so repeating. Your vision is blurry at first, but after blinking a few times, it clears enough for you to see a wooden room. Close by on the wall is a window, and outside the window the scenery is rushing past like the world itself is running away from you, which given what you're feeling right now it might as well be.

The moment you heard about what happened in Ponyville you did the only thing your rational mind could tell you to do. You ran. You ran from the palace, from Celestia, from anything and everything you were working on straight to the train station with the intent on getting back to Ponyville as quickly as ponily possible. Celestia understood of course, she was with you when you heard the news. Actually, the news was more or less meant for her, you just happened to be in the room when the guard told her. He tried to convince Celestia that it would be best if he told her privately, but she insisted that if it was a Ponyville matter, then you had better be present, otherwise she would have just told you herself anyway so why cut out the middlemare. You can still remember the way he looked at you when he contemplated those words, and the tough choice he had to make between disobeying the princess and telling you something that you knew would only hurt you. In the end though, he conceded and told you both everything that he knew.

You still aren't quite sure how long it was until you actually did anything after you heard the news, that Derpy Hooves, a pony you had known for a long time since you moved to Ponyville but unfortunately, never talked to that much, had been publicly executed
without a fair trial and in the ensuing riot you followed, not only were your friends involved, but also the human that you brought here against his will.

Everything was a blur to you after that. The next thing you remember was running back to your room to get whatever you could and then instinctively running out the door, only to run into the princess on the way. She was very understanding of course, she told you that you had to go, for your friends if nothing else. When she tried to get ready a royal carriage to take you though, the two of you found that they had all been taken away on account of that senator Risen Flagg for reasons you couldn't entirely understand. You don't exactly remember what the reasons were, you weren't really thinking at the time.

The next thought that occurred to the both of you was getting Celestia to just teleport you there, as she was an alicorn princess she was powerful enough to do that. It only occurs to you now just how great it would be to be an alicorn yourself. Oh the things you could do. Not that it matters now anyway. Anyway, when she tried, she found that she just couldn't send you there. Every time she tried, you kept coming right back. She then tried sending a message to Spike, but that came back too. It was as if everything that was sent in magically just came back on its own, like something was blocking it. You couldn't think of any other explanation.

After that, with little options left, the two of you headed for the train station as best you could. The two of you tried to get the first possible train out of there, but the ensuing chaos and the amount of times Celestia had to pull the "I am your Princess you will do what I say!" card meant that the only train you could get was the overnight train. You were fortunate enough that Celestia was able to get you "Princess class" which was reserved only for the royal sisters on the rare occasions when they traveled by train. Still, it wasn't like even that made you feel any better.

You tried to get some sleep while you could, since it was the overnight train after all, but with everything that was happening, you found it difficult. Still, you were awake now and you don't think that you're going to go back to sleep anytime soon. So you let out a yawn and stretch your hooves, as you are want to do.

Once you're awake and out of your bed, go you through your average morning routine, albeit on a train. You brush your teeth, you brush your mane, and you do whatever else you need to do while you wait. Unfortunately, no matter how hard you try, none of it really makes you feel any better. After a quick and easy breakfast, you hear the conductor shout that Ponyville is the next stop, so you grab what little things you took and go wait over by the door. You don't sit back down. Some would even say that you look a little strange standing in front of the door like this, but you don't care. You don't care about any of that right now.

Eventually though, the train does stop, and beyond the door you see the familiarity that is Ponyville train station. Unceremoniously, you step off the train and head towards the entrance, though your hooves don't seem like your own. They feel more like the automated motions of a machine rather than your own hooves. It's like you're going on automatic.

Automatic or not, eventually, you reach the entrance and walk out of the train station and walk out into Ponyville proper. You look out at the town to see that it hasn't really changed at all, despite everything that happened. Still, you know what's behind that facade or normalcy this time. Nothing seems to have changed, but you know. You know...

"You know, this story's been getting way to serious," Ghost Sombra said as he looked out into the town with you. "I think its about time we brought some of the silly back, don't you agree?" As he finished talking, he gave you the biggest, toothiest smile he possibly could, which was kind of creepy.

"Celestia damn it, Sombra," was all you could quietly say back to him.

"Eeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy," he said back to you with a wink, which made you exhale.

You are Twilight Sparkle, and you've just returned to Ponyville, with Ghost Sombra of course, we can't forget Ghost Sombra, not ever. But more importantly, you are Twilight Sparkle, and you've just returned to Ponyville.

What do you do?

-Side Story-

-The Dalek Flagship, The Caesar-

The Hallway to the Bridge

Me: … How many other ships do we have offline?

Dalek: Only four, master! The destroyer Brutus, the cruiser Remus, the cruiser Marius, and the carrier Augustus!

Me: Good. how long till they're back online?

Dalek: Approximately four kan-drells!

Me: Perfect. Now, I probably already know the answer to this, but is the Legion Cannon operational?

Other Dalek: Negative! The Caesar's power supply has been redirected from recharging the cannon to the incubation zone!

Me: How long until enough power's restored for the Legion Cannon to begin preparing again?

Dalek #2: Calculating… *Numbers fly on the computer screen* Seven kan-drells!

Me: F*CK! And if we count in the time needed to recharge that big guy… We're sitting ducks. The Legion Cannon was the only thing hat kept the playing field even between us and Flagg. He sent his Slender specifically to disable the Legion Cannon! Damn…

Dalek #3: Your orders, Master?

Me: … Put all possible efforts into restoring the other ships. If there's someone who's sitting about, tell them to MOVE THEIR LAZY ASSES INTO HIGH GEAR! WE NEED THOSE FOUR ONLINE! Tell all non-necessary crew members of all ships to move to those four to assist in repairs! Then, I want all the functioning ships in a circle around them. Keep all functioning weapons locked onto everything within a 50-gan-kell radius of Canterlot. Once things get crazy, Flagg could try to run. We'll surround him in a ring of fire. Aim from the edge of the ring, and start firing inwards.

Dalek #3: Master, you gave us orders not to fire upon the civilians of this world!

Me: That's what Flagg wanted me to do… He hid behind a city of innocents… But I have a plan… Now, GO!

All Daleks on bridge: YES MASTER!

Dalek voice on intercom: DALEK LEGION! YOU HAVE NEW ORDERS FROM THE MASTER! YOU ARE TO SEND YOURSELVES UPON THE REMUS, BRUTUS, MARIUS, AND AUGUSTUS TO ASSIST IN REPAIRS! REPEAT: ALL DALEKS NOT NECESSARY FOR BAREBONES OPERATION OF FLEET, OR HATCHERY OPERATORS ARE TO REPORT TO THE FOUR DISABLED SHUTTLES FOR REPAIRS! THIS IS A DIRECT ORDER FROM THE MASTER!

Scrambling Daleks: WE OBEY!

Dalek Antares: Master… what is your plan?

Me: … *Presses small button on my chair, and music plays*

Antares: Master?

Me: In all of my life, there has only been one thing I regret, Antares…

Antares: Kalporos…

Me: I did nothing then… I let a world turn to dust… Because I was foolish enough to believe in heroes…

Antares: Master…

Me: It's time I made up for that...

*Commander Swimming Dalek, now free of insanity and standing tall and proud in his Benedict Cumberbatch form again, walks through the hallway of the Caesar escorted by two Daleks heading back to the bridge. Somewhere he knows he needs to be right now.*

Swimming Dalek: How many other ships do we still have offline?

Dalek 1: Only four, Commander. The destroyer Brutus, the cruiser Remus, the cruiser Marius, and the carrier Augustus.

SD: Good. How long till they're back online?

Dalek 1: Approximately four kan-drells!

SD: Perfect. And the Enterprise is at full power too. What about the Orz, have we heard anything from then?

Dalek 2: Negative. Scans show that all Orz ships have left the planet's airspace following the previous attack. No contact of any kind has been made.

SD: Great, f***ing cowards. Now, I probably already know the answer to this, but is the Legion Cannon operational?

Dalek 1: Negative. The Caesar's power supply has been redirected from recharging the cannon to the incubation zone.

SD: How long until enough power's restored for the Legion Cannon to begin preparing again?

Dalek #2: Approximately seven kan-drells!

SD: F***! And if we count in the time needed to recharge that big guy… We're sitting ducks. The Legion Cannon was the only thing that kept the playing field even between us and Flagg. He sent his Slender here specifically to disable the Legion Cannon! Damn it all to hell!

*At that, the three of them walk through the doorway to the bridge, where more Daleks are working, including Dalek Antares, who is overseeing all other working Daleks. As the three of them walk up to the many screens in the room, one more Dalek approaches them.*

Dalek 3: Your orders, Master?

SD: Put all possible efforts into restoring the other ships. If there's someone who's sitting about, tell them to MOVE THEIR LAZY ASSES INTO HIGH GEAR! WE NEED THOSE FOUR ONLINE! Tell all non-necessary crew members of all ships to move to those four to assist in repairs! Then, I want all the functioning ships in a circle around them. Keep all functioning weapons locked onto everything within a 50-gan-kell radius of Canterlot. Once things get crazy, Flagg could try to run. We'll surround him in a ring of fire. Aim from the edge of the ring, and start firing inwards.

Dalek 3: Master, you gave us orders not to fire upon the civilians of this world!

SD: That's what Flagg wanted me to do… He hid behind a city of innocents… But I have a plan… Now, GO!

All Daleks on bridge: YES MASTER!

Dalek voice on intercom: DALEK LEGION! YOU HAVE NEW ORDERS FROM THE MASTER! YOU ARE TO SEND YOURSELVES UPON THE REMUS, BRUTUS, MARIUS, AND AUGUSTUS TO ASSIST IN REPAIRS! REPEAT: ALL DALEKS NOT NECESSARY FOR BAREBONES OPERATION OF FLEET, OR HATCHERY OPERATORS ARE TO REPORT TO THE FOUR DISABLED SHUTTLES FOR REPAIRS! THIS IS A DIRECT ORDER FROM THE MASTER!

Scrambling Daleks: WE OBEY!

*As that happens, all other Daleks leave to their designated tasks as Swimming Dalek walks up next to Dalek Antares.*

Dalek Antares: Master... what is your plan?

SD:...

Antares: Master?

SD: In all of my life, there has only been one thing I regret, Antares…

Antares: Kalporos?

SD: I did nothing then… I let a world turn to dust… Because I was foolish enough to believe in heroes… It's time I made up for that...

*Suddenly, the two of them get a transmission from another Dalek.*

Dalek on screen: Message from The Enterprise. Their captain has returned from the planet's surface and wishes to speak with you.

SD: Perfect, bring him aboard. *Stops to think for a moment.* Wait, are the hackers still on board The Enterprise?

Dalek on screen: Affirmative.

SD: Great, tell them to get their asses back over here as well. We could use their help, and we have to plug Nana back into the ship's computer anyway... Actually, hell, get Registered Anonymous back here too. In fact, get everyone, I'm calling a meeting. I want everyone there, and I mean EVERYONE, even BRP once he wakes up.

Dalek on screen: I obey! *Screen goes off*

-The Starship Enterprise-

Medbay

BRP stops screaming as the morphene takes effect.
BRP: Medic! Mediiiic!!
MCoy: You can speak? At last count, two of your ribs weren't broken.
BRP: Yeah, I have ALOT of morphene in me and this hurts like 12 mutts fucking a bitch all at once. Got a way to pop them back into place?
MCoy: We were going to operate as soon as you were properly stable. But now you're awake.
BRP: Basically, I took a hard hit to the breast bone an that crushed my ribcage in on itself a little bit. Make an incision, spread the ribs a little, grab the breast bone and pull it out about half an inch. Go get scrubbed up, I'm gonna pop back to being unconscious in a sec. And I'm gonna need to speak to Hugh after the surgery so get my wrist computer. BS probably has it. He is the only sane person qualified to use it.
RA's voice floats in.
RA: I'm qualified!
BRP: I SAID SANE
RA: Oh
BRP: Anyway, I heard something about mechanical spiders when we were off to fight SD so we should probably- nope. Here I go.
BRP goes back to being unconscious.
MCoy: Is he even human?

*Eventually, BRP stops screaming as all the morphine that was injected into his system starts kicking in.*

Gordon Freebrony: Damn! Almost had a new record.

BRP: Medic! Mediiiic!!

GF: Yeah, I'm not counting that.

McCoy: You can speak? At last count, two of your ribs weren't broken.

BRP: Yeah, I have ALOT of morphene in me and this hurts like 12 mutts fucking a bitch all at once. Got a way to pop them back into place?

McCoy: We were going to operate as soon as you were properly stable. But now you're awake.

BRP: Basically, I took a hard hit to the breast bone an that crushed my ribcage in on itself a little bit. Make an incision, spread the ribs a little, grab the breast bone and pull it out about half an inch. Go get scrubbed up, I'm gonna pop back to being unconscious in a sec. Hugh, when I wake up again I'm going to.... wait.....

*At that, BRP slowly starts to realize he isn't wearing his wrist computer as he starts feeling for it, only to feel bare skin.*

BRP: Where's Hugh? WHERE IS HUGH!?

McCoy: You mean that wrist computer? That other guy has it. I think his name was...

GF: Bronze. His name was Bronze something. I don't know I just remember that crazy guy that looks like V from V for Vendetta.

BRP: Thats.... that's not possible, the only way that wrist computer can be removed is if........ is if Hugh let him...... Oh well... *slumps back onto the table.* If theres' anyone here whose qualified to use that thing other than me, its probably him. Anyway, I'm gonna go back into being unconscious now so... do what you gotta do Doc.

*BRP goes back to being unconscious.*

McCoy: Is this guy even human?

Captain Kirk's Private Quarters

Slim grabs a pack of cigarettes from the side table and pulls one out before lighting it and smoking it. Jim on the other hand wraps the covers around her exposed body and continues to stare at Captain Kirk before asking "You know for being the captain who has fucked many different space species you seem to lose your cool at seeing lesbians have sex."

However before anyone could respond to that statement R.A. comes running around the corner coming straight at Captain Kirk before slamming his foot into Captain Kirk's side launching him down the hallway slightly. R.A. grabs the door frame with both hands before yelling "SLIM! JIM! What have I said about having sex..." R.A. then pulls out a camcorder "And not inviting me to video tape it and make millions off of it!?"

Slim grits and narrows her eyes at R.A. before saying threateningly "You and everyone else in the hallway have five seconds to leave before I decide to shove my foot up every last one of your asses."

R.A. thinks before asking "So that's a no?"

BS: (to RA) I have a feeling that to anyone who hasn't been working with you would feel that this particular situation is incredibly awkward and strange, but really, I give it a 5 out of 10. (to Slim and Jim) Isn't there something you two should be doing to help the others in our unlikely ragtag fleet? (to Kirk) I was told to find you and find out the whereabouts of a certain suit is for a... Mister Freebrony, I believe it was?
*in the distance, "That's [DOCTOR] Gordon Freebrony to you!" is heard*
(I can't fully remember if my character knows about the spiders, but if he does, he adds: Also, I heard something about a crate of mechanical spiders. Since I don't really have anything better to do other than fetch someone's clothes, could you point me in that direction as well? *at which point, everyone who has actually met GF would explain what the Black Mesa HEV Mk. IV Protection System is: an orange, armored HAZMAT suit.)

*Slim grabs a pack of cigarettes from the side table and pulls one out before lighting it and smoking it. Where she got a pack of cigarettes here is anybody's guess. Jim on the other hand wraps the covers around her exposed body and continues to stare at Captain Kirk.

Jim: You know for being the captain who has f***ed many different space species you seem to lose your cool at seeing lesbians have sex.

Kirk: What... What, no, no no no its nothing like that. *Kirk suddenly retains his cool.* I just wasn't expecting this is all. I mean my birthday isn't for-

*Before Kirk can even finish that smug remark, Registered Anonymous suddenly bursts through the door behind him and punches him in the back of the head, knocking him too the floor, but thankfully not knocking him out. How did he do this? Well its cause Kirk forgot to lock the door once he came in. Anyway, with Kirk out of the way, Registered Anonymous looks at Slim and Jim and points at them before yelling.*

Registered Anonymous: SLIM! JIM! What have I said about having sex... *Suddenly pulls out a camcorder out of nowhere* And not inviting me to video tape it and make millions off of it!?

Slim: That if we did it we'd get to crush your balls into paste so that you wouldn't be able to have children ever... Which now that I think about it is probably doing a favor for the human race.

Jim: Right, yeah... *pulls her cigarette from her mouth.* Look RA, Steve may be scared to death of you like a little girl, but that doesn't mean we are so..... shut up and leave before I decide to put my foot up your ass and let Slim do what she said she would.

RA: .... *silent for a moment.* So is that a no?

*Suddenly Bronze Statue walks into the room.*

Bronze Statue: Yeah and just cause you aren't scared of RA doesn't mean that any of us are scared of you. *Looks at both Slim and Jim for a moment without saying anything before turning back to RA.* I have a feeling that to anyone who hasn't been working with you would feel that this particular situation is incredibly awkward and strange, but really, *back to Slim and Jim* I give this whole thing a 5 out of 10. Now isn't there something you two should be doing to help the others in our unlikely ragtag fleet?

*Both Slim and Jim just stare at him for a moment.*

Slim: If we survive this. I'm going to kill both of you.... slowly...

Jim: Same here.

BS: Looking forward to it.

*As they talk Kirk finally gets back up.*

Kirk: Who the hell are-

BS: Ah, you must be Kirk. I was told to find you and find out the whereabouts of a certain suit is for a... Mister Freebrony, I believe it was.

-Canterlot, one day ago-

*Immediately following Clustershine's leapt from the window.*

Written by Grey Rebl

"He's out of the castle! I repeat, he's out of the castle! Pegasi, get him before he goes too far!"

Ears stopped ringing, time ticking as fast as always, and the senses clear and normal. Clustershine landed on his front hooves and rolled into a ball across the ground, and then back on his hooves. By the sound of a pair of gunshots, he kicked off dust before neither the bullet casings, or the pieces of glass, even landed with a clink.

He could feel the burning in his lungs, the air breathed in only giving split-second relief. Cracks of sound still assault his ears. There's sweat cumulating in his mane and coat, and it irrupted him. His legs grew weary. And yet, deep down, not sure if he should feel guilty about, he's having fun in the action he had always been missing. He almost forgotten what it means to be alive! Although, been so tired easily, he figured he's out of shape.

Pegasi in the air armed with rifles took aim at him, and he strafed left and right consistently upon each pang of pain in his ears or echoing gun cracks. The unicorns and earth ponies were catching up. And gaining.

He made a sharp turn, dodged another bullet, and towards a building. Going around the back, he waited until some pegasi looked over it and dash towards another building, repeating it several times in attempt to shake his air and ground pursuers off and used the buildings as cover. He made sure to keep his movements inconsistent, not wanting to them to predict his general direction and objective. It barely worked, but watching how sluggish one of the pegasi's flying were, it made them work much harder.

Hooves thundered behind him in the distance. They're coming very close.

"Open fire!" the radio buzzed.

Rat-ta-ta-t-at-a-ta-ta-ta-ta~!

Oh, that's right! Long ranged weaponry! There's never a "getting closer" with it! Clustershine thought sarcastically.

A few made contact with his head, and thanks to his helmet, his head survived. However, the radio feature may had been broken beyond repair.

He needed more space. Flying was an option but t'll easily make him a visible target for ponies far behind, and having more of them with him on their sights wasn't a great idea. Risky, but the rate of fire in their guns made running by hoof obsolete, so he had no choice. Not like he's a stranger to risk, mind you. With a powerful thrust, he propelled himself off the ground into the skies! Air made his mane and tail flutter, lighting a burning desire with in him.

As volley upon volley of bullet sprays whizz past him from multiple directions, he maneuvered his way around stalls, public tables and buildings. He spun in midair to the left side to dodge a few close shots. There's a pause, likely taking aim. He took a deep breath and dashed forward in an angle towards the ground. If he were a spectator, he'd hear the whistling his form was making. Another volley, did another spin to his side, except further down. He pulled himself up before hitting the ground, putting himself parallel to it. He swerved to the right as a bullet nearly nicked him, and he bounced off a building to turn a corner.

They all went out of the Castle's perimeters and into the empty streets, the siren from before advising ponies to stay inside.

For tired soldiers, some of them are incredibly persistent. One pegasus moved ahead of Clustershine and tried to take a shot on him, nothing that a simple tilt of his body couldn't avoid as he flapped his wings more to keep his distance.

However, it was followed by unicorns with guns in their telekinetic auras. A unicorn casts his horn, glowing a violent red. A fire ball appeared! He reared his head and 'threw' it. The CIA second-in-command tried to move aside, but the fire ball exploded in flaming heat! He tried not to flinch from the seething hot air, but it disrupted his flight. The unicorns shoot with trained precision, forcing him to fly back up, effectively slowing him down before he could right himself.

Flap! Flap!

Clustershine glanced to his side, and his eyes widened. The blue flight uniforms and thunderbolt patterns, the custom designed goggles, their organized formation. Wonderbolts, in all their finest of solid demeanor. With rifles. On the other side were a few more, fully loaded and ready to fire. Judging by the size of their magazines, his hopes of possible escape lessened. They gave chase.

I'm a big fan, always wanted to challenge them to a race, but not like this!

He curved over to the side, going down an entirely different street. The pegasi followed. And shoot. Unlike many others, they fired one at a time. The bat pony tried to make sharp turns to get heat off of him, but their numbers and controlled bursts of lead kept him from being able to do so succeedingly, only allowing a few turns with little struggle. In the course of the dogfight, there were hardly any extra shooting. Are they running out of ammo perhaps? At one point though, they stopped firing when he flew straight. It was then he began to realize.

It's a trap! They didn't need to shoot because I'm going right where they wanted!

Flap! Flap! Flap! Flutter!

Adrenaline pumped in his blood, he renewed his efforts, and an idea. He flapped harder and flew faster than he ever flown throughout the entire flight. The Wonderbolts behind quickly caught up, and continued to surround him. Clustershine turned his body so that it was perpendicular to the ground, and opened his wings in a concave shape, and the effect was immediate.

Air resistance drastically decelerated him, and he kicked a wonderbolt and she yelled out as he used her as a launch pad to catapult to an entirely different direction. Surprised, but undeterred, they agilely righted themselves and fired at him to bring him back on course.

Multiple times, Clustershine pulled a few more fast ones on them, but it became all the more harder as they started to wisen up did the same. Instead of a gun, a wonderbolt dived in for a kick. With no sound but the sound of a loud whoosh of wind being cut, Clustershine barely dodged.

Bang!

He was forced to over shoot his movement to avoid the projectile, and the Wonderbolt's formation adjusted their course.
At this rate, I have no choice but to use my ace in the hole. With the Wonderbolts and their skill, though, I don't think I'd take my chances just yet. He thought.

Finally, he was suddenly forced into another street, and the shooting slowed. From there it was a straight path, with only alleyways with dead ends as the eyes could see. It's back to strafing back and forth. Up ahead was a central district, a small chance for him to lose his pursuers.

Entering it though, it may seem that it was not possible. He gasped and instantly pulled over and he shoved his hooves down into the cobblestone as he skidded to a stop.

Royal Guards covered his front and to the sides. Pegasi spread out from up above and readied their guns. The team of Wonderbolts joined them and watched. It didn't take long for others catching up to block from behind. Every pony took aim at him. And didn't pull the trigger.

"I didn't expect no less from one of the CIA's most best agents, Clustershine," a deep and familiar voice said. "It's unfortunate you had to be a traitor."

His eyes widened. No, it can't be! ...But could it?

He looked to the source of the voice as guards stepped aside to reveal the owner. His Boss. Clean and bloodless like before he was even killed. Followed by him, there was a few recognizeable CIA workers.

Of course. It's not really convenient to simply kill him and place the blame on me. They need somepony with authority to keep the CIA under control without having the trouble to replace him with somepony else or being suspicious. With changlings, I can see how CIA can be taken over, he thought. But why did they have to show it? Is it to prove that defeat is inevitable and put me to despair? Rub their victory in my face?

Right, I'm being branded as a traitor along with the AIA. It's likely this is all an act to ensure that the public knows that the AIA are terrorists.

"You're a good agent, Clustershine," Boss continued. "But you must've been getting very rusty doing office work, being so easily led towards us."

He's a good actor. The Boss was reasonable and had respect for on another as soldiers. The batpony stayed as silent as ever as his Boss' poser bellowed.

"Nothing to say, huh? Fine. I'll save it for the interrogoration. At least you're listening. We've you got you surrounded! No back up, no weapons, and no energy left. No matter how skilled you are, we have the advantage. I hope you make this easy. Remove the helmet, and submit to your arrest."

And get killed and replaced? Before I could warn Grey?

It was a tense silence. The only sound to hear is the pegasi's rhythamic flapping and the guards held breath. Sweat was all that's left to smell and the cuttable tension in the atmosphere was all that can be felt, excluding Clustershine's aching body. Finally, he reached over his head, and took the helmet off. The 'Boss' smiled.

"It's nice for you to see our way. Maybe you can be saved."

The helmet dropped and rolled a few feet.

And the last smoke bomb hidden inside exploded.

The smoke covered his form, and he swiftly moved towards the center.

"Open fire!"

The central district roared in gunfire, pellets passing through the smoke. None of it seemed to hit anything. The Boss gestured them to stop. When the smoke cleared, the only thing that caught their attention was an open ponyhole.

-In the sewers-

Clustershine limped as he traversed the sewer tunnels. After the entire run, only a few bullets hit him in the end. There's some holes made in his bat-like wing when he used it as his shield, and it bled. It's not like he's a stranger to losing his ability to fly over a course of a mission. He'll walk it over.

The tunnels were dark and it It stank bad. At least he doesn't have to pay much mind to his own sweat.

Squish. Splat. Squish.

But he have to deal with the disgusting sound can that may or may not be a fine associate with "Butt". Especially his new worries.

In the dark underground, it's the perfect environment for changlings to not hold back without notice of their nature. If he could take a guess, these tunnels were how they got inside Canterlot in the first place. And if they don't get him first, the infection gained from the open bullet wound and the abundent bile in the stale air would most certainly will. Staying in here too long will result in death either way.

He have to get out without being spotted by the guards. But how?

The faint sound of a rolling chariot from above answered that for him. As he strained his ears to hear more, he heard what could've been "late for the train"!

He smirked. Perfect.

He ran ahead. He know the street very well, and the next manhole he was going towards will coincide with the chariot's path. Effectively, he'll be getting out of here in no time!

Squishsquishsquish!

And he could get away from that horrible, disdaining noise!

It was painful to run while injured. The bleeding stopped, but it's at risk of damaging the wound. He almost slipped and staggered a few times, and it was difficult to stay ahead of his ride. Arriving at a ladder with the hatch, he quickly prepared for the chariot to come. The noise of rolling wheels and the clopping of the hauler grew louder and louder, until, finally, he opened that man hole and slipped and latched under the chariot, straining his muscles to not fall off. Perfect timing!

"Faster! I don't want to be late for the train!" said a female haughty voice.

There was a sigh and a huff from a stallion. "I'll say it again, the train isn't moving until this lockdown is over. There's no rush! You don't even need me!"

"Quiet, you! I only paid you to do your job! And why does it suddenly smell?!"

"I don't know, but I do know I'll be in trouble when I'm still out in the streets!"

"I DON'T CARE!"

This was another one of many times Clustershine was glad of a pony's mental incompetence.

-A short while later-

Those two ponies were like an old couple, bantering and shouting at each other. He wondered why the Royal Guard haven't started taking notice of them yet. Not like he'd complain. At least they did not slow down and he soon arrived at his destination.
The place Train Station was heavily guarded. Guards stood throughout the station. Their numbers were not so intimidating, but their positioning made it so that they can see any intruder. Of course, they spotted the hauler and the passenger. Lady Luck, apparently, continue to smile down at him.

"Halt! You two, why are you still out here?" said a guard.

"I was late for a train!" shouted Miss Haughty Pony.

"I-I'm just doing my job," Mister Hauler Pony timidly replied. Ironic, considering that he's slightly more bulky than the guard.

They bickered and argued until the guard openly decided to arrest them for breaking procedure during a lockdown.

"This is an outrage! You can't do this!" cried Ms Haughty.

"Ma'am, please!" The guard pleaded. "We are only doing our job to keep the citizens safe."

"That doesn't mean you'll stop and put a poor mare behind bars just because there's official business to be had!"

"And what offical business would that be?"

"I'm late for my fashion show in Manehatten!"

A pause and silence. The guard and the hauler facehoofed.

"Ugh! Alright, here's the deal. You two will be in custody within this station until this is all over. THEN we can let you go and do about your business." With a cast of a spell, he hoof-cuffed them. "Now, let's go." He turned around, and what he saw made his jaw drop.

Clustershine had been busy sneakingly knocking out all of the security guards while they were distracted. Despite being so injured and out of practice, his stealth prowess were still able to be up for the task. There was a pile of bodies, and he had just finished punching a guy to unconsciousness before tossing him into his fallen comrades. The batpony nearly glanced at the remaining trio.

"Don't worry, I'll take them away for you." He pounced.

-Another short while later-

Before Clustershine went to the train, he washed himself in the local bathrooms to get as much of the sewer smell off as possible. A jacket he "borrowed" from the Lost-And-Found covered his tattered wings. All what's left to do is to get his ride going and towards his destination. It was a nice breather from all the running during all that time.

Inside, the passengers were restless. The thought that any kind of threat that warrants an intense lockdown that reaches all across the city would make anypony uneasy. The idea in locking down the train station was to prevent any escapee from escaping. Such things had never been put to practive ever before, something like this happening was most cetainly new. These particular procedures were invested by Senator Risen Flag.

And boy was he about to be disappointed.

He was aware that there were inspectors inside each train cart. So, he went to the driver's seat. He knocked the occupant out and pulled a lever. With a sudden jerk, the train moved onwards. The passangers inside were startled, and he could hear panicing from the inside. From there, all he had to do was to deal with the inspectos before geting far enough and discard the passanger cars, leaving them in the middle of the tracks. Make a few threats to keep pursuers distracted, and then he's good to go. Easy peasey.

But why couldn't he shake this feeling or instinct that it wouldn't? Well, things never go to plan amidst the chaos.

He moved in front of a door, and took a deep breath, preparing himself for anything. Calming. Calming down.

The a loud thud, he busted open the door and pounced in a dramatic entrance!

But what he didn't expect was there to be anypony but any security. There were a few mixed reactions with yelps and shouts here and there. Some shocked beyond releif, a few glares for surprising them, and fear of his mysterious presence and attire. Well, he DOES kinda look like a thug. Ignoring them, he moved on to the next car. Maybe the guards are in there?

Busting open the door in the same manner as the previous, there's apparently not. Then there's the next. And the next. And then the next. His sixth car afterwards, he eventually stopped all the melodrama to spare all the fragile hearts of passengers.
If there's no security, no complaints. he thought.

Of course, right when he thought that as was about to open the next door normally, he heard shouting from the other side. Curious, he listened in.

"—Tell me! What is the AIA doing?" The voice was gruff and obnoxious, Clustershine took an instant dislike to him already.

"Doing our job!" cried a voice that sounded like colt.

"We already know that's a lie. You guys are suspicious after Risen made that revealing public execution."

"None of it was even true!" protested the colt.

-One fight scene later-

After that fiasco, the batpony hastily disconnected the pulling engine from the carts and made a few bluffs and threats in the radio he found on the floor during the beginning of the scuffle to the chasing guards. He said that the carts left behind has an armed bomb onboard, forcing the them to stop to try and find it. Not like he would do so for real. Hopefully, having been inside the gunpowder room and using the surprise smoke bomb used in the chase, they would take the threats as legit.

"You know, that guy was only doing his job," said the colt.

Clustershine only nodded. Sometimes, things like this happen. Still, that amateur knew what he signed up, and he paid the ultimate price for it.

"Oh, and, um, are who are you? You look terrible."

"Clustershine, former second seat of the CIA. Anyways why are you here?"

The colt's eyes widened and saluted. "S-sir! I, uh, was sent here to deliver a letter to the CIA! Which was... in that one CIA agent's person..." He looked up at him. "But I know that it involves the changlings that are infiltrating the AIA, as from what I've been told..."

"...what?"

-Game of Twits-

Meanwhile in the Supernatural Universe –

Sam and Dean Winchester sit tied up with Jinx sitting to their side, a gun in her hand waving delicately between the two brothers.

Jinx: Eenie, meanie, miney, moe…

Sam: Are you actually playing that game to decide which of us to shoot first?

Jinx: Maybe but that all depends on how calmly you can shut the fuck up! (places the gun against his head)

Dean: Better stay calm, Sammie, she seems crazy.

Jinx: (bounces over to him with the gun against his head) Wanna see my doctor’s note?

On the other side of the room, Raven and Castiel sit calmly at a table, miraculously still standing after the bullets destroyed the remainder of the room, discussing actually important things relevant to the plot.

Raven: So, what can you tell us about this Brown Dog character.

Castiel: I can tell you this much, the Brown Dog is just a name. I’ve never truly met him, except for when he came here asking for autographs and talking to those two.

Dean: How come I can’t remember that?

Jinx: Probably cause he wiped your brains clean, well more clean than what I’m going to do if you keep talking.

Raven: Regardless, you were saying.

Castiel: They’re just names, nothing special really just like the others.

Raven: What others?

Castiel: Again, just names like Razor, KenSES, Daedaltheus and others that I’ve got no idea about who they are.

Jinx: Hey, we work for Daedaltheus!

Dean: Why doesn’t he come in person instead of sending a knock-off anime girl and a video game character?

Jinx: (SMACK)

Dean: OW!

Sam: Oh great, more women from your anime-smut, Dean?

Dean: Anime is an art, not porn.

Jinx: Clearly you’ve never searched hard enough on Google.

Raven: Anyways, yes we work for Daedaltheus who cannot come here because he is afraid of Death.

Sam: Really? Everyone’s afraid of death.

Castiel: There are rumors spreading around the primordial forces that a creature called the Abomination is wanted by all of the Deaths across the dimensions.

Dean: And why is he wanted then?

Castiel: He cheated Death, literally, out of his soul.

Raven: Seems like our boss.

Castiel: Regardless, never met any of them but I can that you are not amongst their ranks.

Raven: And how do you figure that?

Castiel: I saw you on TV with a group of teenagers fighting crime and from what Dean’s said, so is she.

Jinx: Huh, I guess that makes sense.

Raven: Agreed, so you don’t know anything about the Brown Dog.

Castiel: No.

Raven: I hope Rip and Asuka are having better luck than we are.

Meanwhile in Night Vale –

Rip and Asuka walk through the surprisingly empty streets of Night Vale looking for the Coupe De Ville when they round the corner near the radio station.

Rip: There it is.

Asuka: Finally, we…found…do you hear that sound?

Rip: Ya, it sounds a bit like a street sweeper.

Asuka and Rip: (scream)

Asuka: Start the car! START THE FUCKING CAR, NOW!

Rip: WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM TRYING TO DO!? (Turns the keys in the ignition and starts the car just as the sweepers round the corner)

Radio Cecil: And as we cower in fear of the sweepers, I give you, the weather.

Asuka: Must go faster! Must go faster!

Rip: Working on that!

The Coupe de Ville speeds down the streets of Night Vale, barely rounding the corner by Mission Grove Park and unfortunately catches the attention of several street sweepers. The pair speed down the street pursued by at least eighteen street sweepers, each one intent on cleaning Rip and Asuka. Thoroughly.

Asuka: They’re getting closer to us!

Rip: I can see that! (fidgets with the rear view mirror) How far until the portal?

Asuka: 45 blocks!

Rip: Gott in Himel…take the wheel!

Asuka: WHAT?!

Rip: Take the damned wheel (positions herself in the backseat as Asuka takes the wheel, all the while Rip Van Winkle stands up, unshouldering her rifle)

Rip: TINKER TAILOR SOLDIER SAILOR! MY BULLET PUNISHES ALL WITHOUT DISTINCTION! (BANG! The shot flies forward striking but not deterring the sweepers as the Coupe de Ville rounds the corner by Big Rico’s Pizza).

Asuka: Is it helping?

Rip: Not much (clang, clang the bullet strikes the sweepers)

Asuka: Well try hard… SPEED BUMP!

The car hits the speed bump, pitching Rip out of the backseat where she hits the ground, rolling several times before coming to a stop just a block down from the street sweepers that pause for a minute. Rip looks up, clutching a broken arm, scraped and bloodied from the impact as the street sweepers rev their engines and at last, one breaks free, launching towards Rip Van Winkle.

Asuka: Rip! (floors the car in reverse)

All at once, something comes flying out of the trees along the street, about the same size as Asuka but far more nimble. Rip closes her eyes, prepared to embrace death as the street sweeper descends on her but it is stopped and being lifted upwards. She opens her eyes to see a woman with long white hair tied back in a large long braid, wearing a green and white tunic with shoulder pads holding back the street sweeper WITH HER BARE HANDS. Moreover, she has long almost feline like ears with a collar and large golden bell attached to it.

???: You think you’re stronger than me, STREET SWEEPER!!! (rips the machine in half)

Rip: AISHA!

Aisha Clan Clan: Heh heh, thought you gals might need some help. (a second sweeper advances and meets a similar fate as Aisha throws the half of the one she destroyed into it)

Asuka: (pulls up) Get Rip into the car, hurry!

Aisha: (lifts Rip into the car and then turns back to face the advancing sweepers) Give me about two minutes and I’ll join you gals on the outskirts of town.

All at once, the cat-girl, seriously, leaps at the sweepers as the car speeds off, letting into them with nothing but her hands and superhuman strength, pulling wheels and engines blocks out from behind the steel plating. Two sweepers attempt to use the scraping metal brushes to erase her, colliding with her when suddenly, the large round brushes cease moving, held in place by Aisha’s hands. With a swift motion, the machines are torn apart, the woman swinging the pieces madly into the onslaught of unlucky sweepers, crushing some and immobilizing others where they stand. Ultimately, she picks up the last of the pursuing sweepers and with a single throw, tosses the behemoth of steel and death, still spewing noxious black smoke into the air through a wall and into the Dog Park that No One is Supposed to Go Near or Talk about.

Meanwhile Outside of Town by the Portal Near Old Woman Josie’s –

Asuka: Quit squirming and let me puts something on that scrape.

Rip: OW! OW! OW! It hurts.

Asuka: You rolled across the pavement while clutching your rifle what do you expect to happen?

Rip: Point taken. Where’s Aisha?

Asuka looks up to see a large white striped cat with a long tail bounding towards the car and before reaching it leaps into the air where it transform back into the cat-girl before descending into the backseat.

Aisha: Heh, heh, looks like we’re in the clear.

Rip: Thank the gods (sits up) Asuka, let’s go join Jinx and Raven.

Asuka: All right (drives into the portal)

-Meanwhile in the Supernatural Universe-

Jinx: Oh hey, something shiny! (points towards a large portal opening as a Coupe de Ville enters the parking lot, next to the red Mustang)

Raven: It must be Rip and Asuka.

Dean: Is that Aisha Clan Clan in the backseat?

Sam: Dammit, Dean, more of your smut.

Raven: (walks away from Castiel) Thanks for everything and nothing.

Castiel: No problem (sits back down in front of the TV)

Raven: How’d Night Vale pan out?

Asuka: Total dud, though we did at least see the Brown Dog.

Jinx: Any leads?

Asuka: Not many but Rip is kinda fucked up so I’m taking her back to see Fran in Medical.

Raven: Agreed, I think that we should regroup there and pool our resources, though limited.

With that, the five women depart back to the Bunker, leaving Castiel to watch cartoons with the brother tied together by the hole in the wall.

Castiel: You know, that depressing girl sounds just like the purple pony on TV.

Dean: Great, now Cas is a brony.

-Meanwhile at Roseluck’s House-

Roseluck: Bullshit, you are not Daedaltheus.

Line Draft: (coming from the kitchen) Prove it. If you are him, then you should be able to prove to us that you are him.

Fleur du Mal: Come again?

Line Draft: Tell us each something about ourselves that only he would know.

Fleur du Mal: Again the goddman, fine then. You want it that way then so be it.

Lily: We are waiting.

Fleur du Mal: Lily, you are an avid angle dust user and at the party at Pinkie’s were found in a number of sexually impossible positions, though it’s okay because at least YOU use protection.

Lily: (flushes white)

Fleur du Mal: Daisy, you are a sexually repressed mare who due to her upbringing is actively confused about your orientation as you have both feelings for a stallion and at least TWO mares. Stallion’s name is Big Macintosh, of course because that ship has yet to be sailed in most universes, and the mares are standing right here in fucking front of me. Of course this does not solve your latent feelings for BOTH Roseluck and Line Draft, of whom the latter you find quite attractive.

Daisy: (faints)

Fleur du Mal: Line Draft, I made you so that’s not fair so that leaves Roseluck. It’s name is Victor, his setting is eleven and it can be none more black than it already is. More importantly, you wish to engage in carnal relations with myself even though it is quite obviously never going to happen for three reasons: A – I am human, B – I have a loving girlfriend and C – I AM A MOTHERFUCKING HUMAN.

Roseluck: Jesus Fucking Christ it is you.

Fleur du Mal: Indeed but that’s besides the point and that point is you have to go to Canterlot and kill Risen Flag.

Roseluck: Why should we, I mean he is working for you, right?

Fleur du Mal: He’s going rogue and has been moving towards such for quite some time now.

Line Draft: How so?

Fleur du Mal: I’ve been sending him commands for a while now and he is being quite unresponsive and all together changing the commands all together. The Derpy Hooves thing in the town square, he was only supposed to kill her in the physical sense.

Lily: (regaining herself) I’m confused but he did.

Roseluck: Yeah, we saw it.

Fleur du Mal: He also destroyed her soul which was not a part of the plan.

Roseluck: What?!

Fleur: Her soul was meant to ascend but for whatever reason, it vanished but not before drifting towards Canterlot.

Roseluck: Is that all?

Fleur: No, the guards have assault rifles.

Line Draft: Fuck me Nay Bradbury.

Fleur: They were always meant to have them but he’s advancing too soon and far too early. I mean, it’s only a few days away from…from… (begins coughing)

Roseluck: Are you okay?

Fleur: I don’t (vomits blood and a blackish substance) Oh god (vomits again).

Roseluck: DAEDALTHEUS!

Fleur: He’s trying to…(vomits again) He’s trying to…(vomits and falls backwards, vanishing)

Roseluck: OH GODS, NO. DAEDALTHEUS!

Line Draft: DAEDALTHEUS!

Back at the Bunker –

A red doorframe opens into the office of Daedaltheus where the now human form being falls through onto the floor and crawling towards his trash can, he vomits one last time spitting and wiping away the residue as Raindrops runs in.
Raindrops: Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, what’s happening to you? (looks in the can) What is that?!

DXIV: Blood and ink (spits) blood and ink.

Raindrops: Why?

DXIV: I got kicked out for some reason.

Raindrops: How? Did something go wrong?

DXIV: Everything was fine when suddenly BAM, illness but I think I know what happened.

Raindrops: What?

DXIV: (grabbing a legal pad and pen) Risen Flag kicked me from the universe.

Daedaltheus approaches the portal, which has remained open and presses his finger against the black void between the frames where his finger acts as though it is being pressed against a solid wall. Pressing harder with his whole hand, Daedaltheus finds that he cannot reenter the portal nor cross into Equestria through the red doorframe.

Raindrops: Oh my god.

DXIV: It’s okay, don’t panic, I can resolve this with a simple note (writes down on the paper ‘Hey, what in God’s name are you trying to pull here?’ and tosses it through the frame where it comes back through seconds later)

Raindrops: Well?

DXIV: It says ‘This is my story now’ signed Nyarlathotep.

Raindrops: Oh no.

DXIV: (writes down ‘Roseluck get out of there now’ and tosses the page at the doorframe but the sheet merely bounces back to his feet)

Raindrops: Daedaltheus?

DXIV: *ROARS*

At that moment, following the glass in and around the office, or rather throughout the bunker shaking, Integra enters the room.

Integra: What’s going on here?

DXIV: THAT LOATHESOME SON OF A BITCH GOD JUST KICKED ME FOR THE UNIVERSE, STRANDING MY PERSONAL ASSISTANT AND FOUR OTHER ASSESTS WITH HER!

Integra: Well, I’ve got worse news for you.

DXIV: And what could be worse than losing absolutely control, heh?!

Integra: The Council decided four to two that when this is all over, you are to be executed.

DXIV: Fuck me. What else?

Integra: Well, there was some debate because Gunter voted against killing you.

Hours Ago with the Red Council –

Patrick Bateman: I can’t believe he voted to save the bastard.

Doctor Horrible: I mean, he really voted to save the bastard.

Swan: I do.

Bateman: Seriously, why?

Swan: Gunter believes in Daedaltheus because of what he has done to save RED, I mean after all, he is the one who destroyed the Ivory Tower and ended the White Council with the slaying of the Childlike Empress.

Horrible: Yes but still, he’s a loose cannon and more importantly a god with a god-complex.

Bateman: There are you god’s only uncommon men.

Horrible: I think the more important question is why we follow Gunter.

Swan: Of all of history’s greatest monsters, he is the most evil being anyone has ever encountered.

Bateman: What did he do to deserve the title?

Centuries Before-

Gunter stands before a series of monitors, looking over various schematics and maps when the door bursts open with an entire team of elite special ops soldiers surrounding the penguin, rifles and pistols drawn.

Soldier 1: We’ve got you now, you son of a bitch!

Gunter: Wahn wahn wahn wahn (Looks like you have)

Soldier 2: With your capture we can end the war.

Gunter: Wahn wahn wahn wahn wahn wahn wahn wahn.

Soldier 2: What did he say?

Soldier 3: He already did it, 35 minutes ago.

With that, the monitors lit up to reveal dozens of nuclear explosions activating across the planet with the largest being a vast mushroom cloud of green light.

Gunter: WAHN WAHN WAHN WAHN WAHN WAHN WAHN (Thus ends the Great Mushroom War)

Decades Later in Another Universe -

Spiderman: Run! JUST RU (BANG!)

???: HOLY SHIT! HOLY (BANG BANG BANG BANG – collapses)

Gunter: WAHN WAHN (Goodbye, Deadpool)

In Another Parallel –

Scientist: Well that whole thing managed to go to shit fast!

Senator: How were we supposed to know the calming agent in the atmosphere would create berserkers out of the populace and that they would be capable of space travel?

Gunter: WAHN (Relax)

Senator: Why should we?

Gunter: Wahn Wahn Wahn Wahn Wahn Wahn Wahn Wahn Wahn Wahn Wahn Wahn Wahn Wahn Wahn Wahn Wahn Wahn Wahn Wahn Wahn Wahn Wahn Wahn Wahn Wahn Wahn Wahn Wahn Wahn (We will create a myth around these men and women cannibals and hide their origins from all so that the people never learn the truth about what we did)

Scientist: They need some name right so what do we call them?

Gunter: Wahn (Reavers).

Back with the Council –

Bateman: That is evil.

Swan: Preciously.

Horrible: So about Daedaltheus.

Swan: Dead.

Bateman: Totally gonna skin him alive and feed him to Evelyn.

At the Bunker –

DXIV: Ok then, so how much worse could things get?

Asuka: (bursts into the room) We got back but Rip got fucked up pretty bad and is in the infirmary right now.

DXIV: Still…

Glados: A news bulletin just came up – OIC New York Office attacked by mad man in suit – hundreds dead, dozens wounded and the office building was set on fire by someone singing Hip to Be Square.

DXIV: (silence)

Integra: Dear…

DXIV: I WANT ALL OF THEDEPARTMENT HEADS OF DIVISION FORTY-TWO TO MEET ME IN THE CONFERENCE ROOM RIGHT NOW! AS OF THIS MOMENT, WE ARE AT WAR!

Author's Note

status: edited

Return to the Silly.... S*** I MEANT PONYVILLE! :D

Return to the Silly.... S*** I MEANT PONYVILLE! :D

Right. Twilight, the first thing you need... Is familiarity. (I'm assuming Spike's still there? If so... Go to him.)
If Spike is not there, tearfully reflect on what you remember of Derpy, before heading out... Perhaps that human... Jason... Knows something about all this. You only hope that he'll accept you, you're embarassed and guilty at the sight of him...

Check up on your friends. That's obvious. Then run to the toilet cause you haven't taken a shit in weeks. Seriously, EVERYONE has major diarrhea at this point. And no one has drunk anything except alcohol and the infrequent coffee. Of course I am excluding those hit by the colon-blow ex machina (shit from machine essentially). But aside from them, their guts be fucked. This goes for the side story characters too. When BRP can walk again, he's off to the washroom.

Well Twilight, you heard how shit just went down, maybe you should get your Raiden costume and sword before anything else happens. You then have to find your friends, and also figure out what that magical barrier is over Ponyville.
Check the hospital for your friends, and when you find Jason you have to get him on your side and show him that you care what happens to him. And don't listen to Sombra being a troll.

Main Story
Now, take out your checklist for things to do when you arrive in Ponyville. Of course, it's triple checked so that it would stay perfect and flawless.

Go to the library.

Talk to Spike, and turn him to Airplane mode to save energy.

Tweet with your friends.

Investigate and find out what happened to Ponyville while you were gone via general search engine. (Newspaper Companies should be ashamed of themselves for their amatuer research and information gathering skills. The nerve!)

Relax by reading a random book about either cats, an Equestrian historical compilation of epic wins and fails, and documentaries and autobiographies about ponies commentating in a game as they play it.

Wonder why you referenced things that are only existant in an entirely different dimension and doesn't exist in yours, thus cue the thought of how you thought of such things in the first place.

Research methods of feigning ignorance towards a hallucination/ghost whom you hate.

Visit James.

Oh no! You've suddenly lost you checklist! Try not to panic! Bah, screw it, you are Twilight Sparkle, embodiment of the element of magic and Raiden incarnate! You shall do the very thing that you do best: Fiip out and Panic.

As good as it is to finally return to the familiarity that is Ponyville, you really wish it were under better circumstances. No matter how many different ways you try to think about it, being here really doesn't make you feel any better.

You really wish it would, but no matter how you think about it, it doesn't. Lately it seems like nothing makes you happy. Celestia, you're only a few short steps away from declaring that fate, and possibly the universe itself, are going out of their ways to make sure that you are never happy again. Thankfully you aren't there yet.

"Ooooohhhhhhh Twiiiiiiiiilight......." A certain familiar, voice that most certainly isn't Ghost Sombra says to you as you finish that thought.

Yep........ not there yet...........

Okay, this is no time to be depressed or melodramatic. That time was 9 hours ago, and being melodramatic is more Rarity's thing than yours. So, pushing all negative thoughts aside, you start trotting away from the train station back into town as you run through the mental checklist of things you need to do when you arrive in Ponyville, and by that you mean you run through the mental checklist of things you need to do when you arrive in Ponyville and use all of your willpower to try and force your legs to actually start walking because you really don't want to walk into another sad situation right now. Haven't you had enough of those?

'COME ON LEGS MOVE!!!!' you mentally shout at them, which seems to get them going. Okay, now that you are actually walking you REALLY run through that mental checklist of things you need to do when you arrive in Ponyville.

'Okay....' You say inwardly to yourself.

Step 1. Go to the library.

Step 2. Talk to Spike, and turn him to Airplane mode to save energy.

Step 3. Tweet with your friends.

Step 4. Investigate and find out what happened to Ponyville while you were gone via general search engine. (Newspaper Companies should be ashamed of themselves for their amateur research and information gathering skills. The nerve!)

Step 5. Relax by reading a random book about either cats, an Equestrian historical compilation of epic wins and fails, and documentaries and autobiographies about ponies commentating in a game as they play it.

Step 6. Wonder why you referenced things that are only existent in an entirely different dimension and doesn't exist in yours, thus cue the thought of how you thought of such things in the first place.

Step 7. Research methods of feigning ignorance towards a hallucination/ghost whom you hate.

Step 8. Visit James...

Okay, everything seems to be in..... wait...' you suddenly realize as you finish running through that checklist.....

HOW!? How could you have messed that up!? YOU WERE SO CERTAIN!? WHERE DID IT ALL GO WRONG!?

What is an airplane!? What the Tartarus is Twitter!? How do you know how to use it!? What is a general search engine, like google, and how do you know how to use it!? HOW DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT GOOGLE IS!? WHY DO YOU KNOW ALL OF THIS!? AND WHY DO YOU ALSO KNOW THAT ALL OF THESE THINGS ARE ONLY EXISTENT IN AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT DIMENSION THAN YOUR OWN!?

HOW!?

HOW!?

WHO!?

WHY!?

WHY!?

WHY!?

Ghost Sombra, use any witty remark fitting for this situation.

"BECAUSE MY PENIS DEMANDS IT!" Ghost Sombra doesn't shout at you while you were most certainly NOT in the middle of NOT freaking out right there.

"Celestia da-" you try to say, but Ghost Sombra doesn't interrupt you.

"And before you say anything," Ghost Sombra doesn't say in a voice that sounds like he is mocking Rarity but isn't because he isn't there. "Yes, I am indeed a strange pony with strange interests, and prefer to keep this exchange private, or if you can't keep it private, perhaps we can arrange something." At that, he just doesn't smile a that really toothy smile he doesn't have at you.

"Celestia damnit Sombra," you don't say to him.

"Eeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy," he doesn't say to you again.

IN ANY CASE....... Yes............

Why were you saying yes?

OH RIGHT!?

Yes, the first thing you know you gotta do is find your friends. If anypony here can tell you what is going on, its them. You can't trust the news right now, or the royal guard. You're not sure why the news, but the members of the royal guard around the palace have been.............. fishy..... since you've been around, and with this recent incident you'd prefer not to talk to any of them right now.

Though you fear that may not exactly be easy.

But yes, you must ABSOLUTELY find your friends first, and the best way you know to do this right now since you just got back is to go home.... back to the tree library... where you haven't been in what feels like over a year.... and talk to Spike.... whom you haven't talked to in what also feels like over a year...

IN ANY CASE! He'll be able to tell you what's going on, and he'll be able to point you in the direction of your friends. If anypony... or dragon in this case, can tell you anything right now whom you know you can trust more than anypony, it's him.

"What about me? You can totally trust me. I mean I trust me." Ghost Sombra doesn't ask you as if he were aware of the narration.

"He is by the way. He is totally aware of the narration."

"Hi Razor."

"Sup Sombra."

That did not happen. In fact, what narration? There's no narration. Your life isn't being narrated like it's a stupid fanfiction written by a guy who literally makes everything up on the spot... Nope.... definitely not.... nope... nope nope nope...

Also you're not sure why you feel any need to bring this up at all, but you really feel like you need to sit on the toilet for a while. You're not sure why....

Why did you even feel the need to say that?

Ghost Sombra, tell Twilight she needs to collect five cheese wheels, a marble, seven dozen pairs of slippers, a life sized statue of Queen Chrysalis, and a vial of hooker tears. Tell her it's the only way to save Equestria from certain doom, just to see if she'll actually do it.

"You know Twilight," Ghost Sombra doesn't say to you as you keep walking through the streets of Ponyville. All around you you see many familiar faces, and while a few say hi, all of them feel uneasy. You can't blame them though, you can't blame any of them. Also you notice quite a few more guards than normal, and all of them are carrying these long, black, stick like things instead of spears. You have no idea what they are, you've never seen them before. But you don't pay attention to any of that though, because Ghost Sombra definitely isn't speaking to you. "I hate you bring this up now, but I actually know how to defeat Nyarlathotep." Nope.... definitely not speaking to you. "Come on it's easy. All we need is five cheese wheels, any cheese will do, a marble, seven dozen pairs of slippers, a life sized statue of Queen Chrysalis, and a vial of hooker tears. It's the only way to save Equestria from certain doom."

"Okay that's it!" you don't shout at Ghost Sombra, who is obviously not speaking to you as you don't stop walking, turn around, look right at him, and point directly at him with your right hoof. You definitely DO NOT do ANY OF THAT! "I've had enough of this Sombra. You're not even real. You're just a product of my imagination. A very annoying, very obnoxious product of my imagination that I can't seem to get rid of NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY, but nonetheless, a product of my imagination. So please, for my sake, and for the sake of everypony. Will you PLEASE STOP TALKING!!!" A few ponies don't stop and don't look at you as you do that because you definitely did not shout at anypony right there. So they obviously aren't staring at you like you're crazy. Nope..... they aren't doing that.

Ghost S use your ability to haunt Twilight to convince her that you are real, if that fails annoy the shit out of her and wait for her and Morgan to be alone together then suck it up, be a ghost stallion and posses her. Using her body explain to Morgan the fucked up situation you all are in. If you can't suck it up for that long just annoy her until she says your name in her friends' and Morgan's presence hopefully causing her to explain that she thinks she is hallucinating about you and Morgan will use his Latin powers to see you with 'See Spirit' or something or causing her to be thought insane and locked in a madhouse. :derpytongue2:

"Oh come on, Twilight, I'm real," Ghost Sombra doesn't say to you. "I've always been real. I told you already, I'm the disembodied spirit of Sombra who was severed from his body after Nyarlathotep found it and put it back together to do his evil bidding... Did I forget to mention that it was Nyarlathotep that did that to me, well it was. But yes, I'm very real Twilight. If I weren't real you would have gotten rid of me by now, and come on, really, you definitely would have gotten rid of me when you stopped being crazy.... Or did you stop being crazy.... I'm still not entirely clear on that." This is getting ridiculous. "Look, the point is, I'm real and there's nothing you can do about it, but hey, come on, it's not all that bad." As he says that he doesn't fly right up next to your face and nuzzle against it. Nope. "I'm on your side here. I wanna see Nyarlathotep defeated too. Tartarus why stop there, I wanna see him experience an eternity of pain, suffering and misery for what he did to me. So yeah, I'm on your side. I wanna help you, and if you'll just let me help you I will. The things I know, I can really be useful to you if you let me engage in jolly cooperation with you."

"All right, assuming I choose to believe ANYTHING you've just told me," you don't say to the definitely not there Ghost of Sombra. "If that is true, then WHY DO YOU KEEP ANNOYING ME!?"

Sombra, this story is kinda going grimdark as all fuck, liven up the mood. Tell Twilight to put back on her Raiden outfit, remember the good times with that? Tell her to get some flowers or something to bring to the hospital. If you see Roseluck tell Twilight how evil she is, even though she won't listen. Then express how you were upset that you missed a bigass brawl. When you get to the hospital, try to convince Twilight to give in to her desires since Jason can't move at the moment, just to fuck with her head. Tell her that maybe kissing him will make him wake up or something, she might be desperate enough to try it.

"BECAUSE I'M BORED!!!!" Ghost Sombra definitely doesn't shout back to you when he's so close to your face that you can see every pointy tooth in his mouth. "And because this story is getting grimdark as f***, I'm trying to liven up the mood a little here."

"What?" you don't say to him.

"Nothing!" he quickly doesn't respond to you so quickly you didn't hear it. "But yes, as I was saying, I'm bored. You don't ever talk to me or acknowledge that I exist and as much as I don't like it I'm kind of stuck to you so I can't really go anywhere or find a more interesting pony. So I annoy you because its the only thing I can do that'll get me a response from you. I mean COME ON! I'm a ghost! I can't do anything. I can't even clop." Okay you definitely aren't hearing this. "You ever try clopping with ghost hooves!? NOTHING! IT SUCKS! If I could possess your body and use it to clop I would!" Okay more than usual you definitely are going to pretend you didn't hear that. "So yeah, that's why I annoy you....." You... didn't even think about that... You almost "Oh, and also because it's fun." And there it isn't. "And because its fun, can't forget about that." And that, he doesn't give you another toothy smile.

"OKAY THAT IS IT!" You don't shout to the definitely nonexistent Ghost Sombra. "The minute we get home I'm-"

"Right, stop that!" you suddenly hear a very British sounding voice yell. The minuscule second you hear it, your feel your eyes shrink down to the size of fleas and immediately turn around to see..... a lightish brown earth pony with a mustache wearing some kind of olive green army officer's uniform. He didn't look like a royal guard. "It's silly."

"Um..... Uh....." is all you can say to him. This is it... this is the end... he definitely saw you. YOUR LIFE IS OVER! "Uh..... Uh..... Uh....."

"I am terribly sorry Ma'am, but I would just like to point out that this story is now displaying a tendency to become silly," he says to you in a very, very British voice. Exactly what he said takes a minute to register in your brain.

"What?" you say, confused.

"Now, nopony likes a good laugh more than I do... except, perhaps my wife... and some of her friends," the strange, British pony continues.

"Is this guy for real?" The ghost of Sombra doesn't ask, seeming just as confused as you are, which is rare now that you don't think about it.

"Oh, yes, and Captain Johnson," the British pony continues. "Come to think of it, most people like a good laugh more than I do, but that's beside the point! I'm warning you, and I'm warning this story NOT to get SILLY again! Is that understood?"

"Um...." you say again, still confused. "I'm sorry, but um... who are you?" You can't help but ask.

"I am Sergeant Major Chapman, but you may call me The Colonel," he says. Already this pony is confusion you. "I am with the regiment of ponies stationed in Ponyville, now that Ponyville is under martial law, and it is my job to make sure that absolutely NOTHING silly happens in this town. Not while I am here. Now..." he says, now bearing his full attention on you. It's.... kind of intimidating. "I know who you are, Ms. Sparkle, and I saw you get off the train, so I understand, that you do not know what is going on here. So I am giving you a fair warning."

"You have got to be s***ing me, really," Ghost Sombra doesn't say.

"Do not say, do, or even think, of anything that will become silly. Not while I am here," he says with authority. He doesn't seem like he is joking. Okay, you need to clarify this.

"But I wasn't being silly," you say to him. "I was just telling somepony to leave me alone." At this, he raises an eyebrow. "I was telling the ghost of King Sombra that's been-"

"Right, stop that!" The colonel... sergeant major.... whatever his rank is... pony, says before you can even finish with absolute authority. "It's silly."

"Wow, this guy is for real isn't he?" Sombra doesn't say while both you and he just stare at this strange pony as he gives you what you can only assume is the evil eye. Suddenly, something sparks in your head, and you remember kind of important.

"Wait?" you say to him. "What was that you said about Ponyville being under martial-"

A guy called The Beej shows up. Perhaps shooting Nazis. Probably not, though.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!" Before you can even finish that sentence, the three...... two, of you suddenly hear another rather manly scream and you look down the street to see a pony with chocolate box hair and a face like a bear, and a jacket he picked up on Ebay, suddenly leap out from behind one of the buildings down the road with a member of the royal guard as he tries to wrestle that weird, black stick like thing from his hooves.

After a few seconds of wrestling with the gun the chocolate box maned pony punches the guard in the face and knocks him clean out.

"YOU'LL TAKE MY LIFE BUT I'LL TAKE YOURS TOO!!!" he shouts as he then suddenly picks up the stick. "YOU'LL FIRE YOUR MUSKET BUT I'LL RUN YOU THROUGH!!!" He then runs forward and starts firing something from the end of the stick like there is some kind of active resistance in need of assistance in this town where some serious s***s going down and you can almost-

"HEY YOU! STOP THAT!!!" The colonel pony shouts before you can even finish that thought as he runs after that chocolate box maned pony. "THAT'S SILLY!!!!!"

Both you and Ghost.... sorry, just you, stare off at him as he run off, leaving you more confused than you've honestly ever been in a long while. After a few moments though, when nothing else happens, you take a deep breath and calm yourself.

"Well...." you say to nopony in particular. "I'm sure we'll never see him again."

"Why'd you just say that?" Ghost Sombra doesn't say to you with a shrug. "Now we'll see him like 20 more times you idiot."

"Gah, you're right aren't you?" You don't reply to the nonexistant Sombra.

"Uh, when am I not?" Ghost Sombra doesn't say with a smile.

"Most of the time," you don't reply to him as you start walking back to your house again.

"Oh yeah...." he doesn't reply. "Hehehe...."

Twilight! Find Morgan! He's your responsibility! YOU brought him here! YOU should be making sure he's A-OK!

Sombra, you now want to call Morgan captain…

Twilight: Go see your friends so they can explain to you what happened and lose your mind trying to comprehend how a human with no magic has the power of a demigod.
Ghost Sombra: Suddenly have an urge to sing the The Stars Nearest To Me song while you jump in Twilight 's back.

After a brief moment of silence between the two of you, Ghost Sombra doesn't speak again.

"You know Twilight," he doesn't begin. "After you find your friends, you should probably find that human..... what was his name again? Did he even tell us his name.... does he even have a name?"

"Yes," you don't reply to him. "It's Jason remember.... Jason Morgan."

"Oh yeah...." he seems to remember as he doesn't speak to you. "Captain Morgan... Hehehe..."

"He's not a captain," you don't say back to him. "He's not in the guard. He doesn't even know how to fight."

"So?" Ghost Sombra doesn't reply back to you. "He's a captain now. Captain Morgan. Has a nice rrrrrrrrring to it. And how do you know he doesn't know how to fight? You've never seen him."

"Celestia damnit, Sombra," you don't say to him.

"Eeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyy," Ghost Sombra doesn't reply as he drops down onto your back and leans back against your head. "Proxima Centauri's the nearest star. The celestial bodies that follow are: Alpha Centauri A, Toli, Barnard's Star-"

"What are you doing?" You don't ask him.

"Singing The Stars that are Nearest to Me?" He doesn't respond to you with a smile as he leans over your head and gets... a little too close to your ear. All you can do at that is let out a rather loud, rather disgruntled sigh. Rarity would say that such a sound is unbecoming of you.

"Whatever," you don't say to him. You don't care anymore.

"Great," Ghost Sombra replies as he leans back against your head again. "Wolf 359, Lalande 21185, Sirius A, Sirius B, BL Ceti, UV Ceti-"

-Eventually you arrive back at your house-

"Those are the stars that are nearest to me. Tra-la-la and fiddle-dee-dee!" Ghost Sombra FINALLY stops singing, which he actually didn't do because he wasn't singing, right as you reach your library/home.

It.... actually fills you with a sense of relief and a bit of joy to see it again. Here you were all depressed because of what happened, and seeing your house, just being back homes makes you-

n that case, let's get to it: Ghost Sombra, pretend you're a goat. A ghost goat. A goast. A ZOMBIE GOAST in front of a house. Twilight, try and make him leave this place.

"Hey Twiiiiiiliiiiiiiiiiiight-" Ghost Sombra doesn't say.

"And there it goes," you can't help but say.

"Look at me Twilight, look at me...." Ghost Sombra says as he floats around the house, or more specifically in front of your vision since he apparently can't get that far away from you. "Look at me..... I'm a zombie ghost....... A zombie ghost in front of a house.... lllllleave this place...."

"Celestia damnit Sombra," you don't say back to him as you don't put a hoof to your forehead. This seriously isn't going to give you a headache eventually.

"What?" Ghost Sombra replies as he stops doing that. "It's not like that colonel pony's gonna come back again. I mean, here showed up last time for you, since you're 'REAL' remember. I'm just a ghost..... a ZOMBIE GHOST.... IN FRONT OF A-"

"RIGHT! STOP THAT!" You suddenly hear as both you and Sombra look to your right to see the colonel pony back again. "It's silly." At that, he just gives you the evil eye for a moment before walking away. Presumably to other business. Ghost Sombra, oddly enough, looks stunned.

"Did he....." he doesn't try to say. "Did he just..."

"Yes," you don't say to him as you can't help but crack a smile and walk up to your house. You're not sue why, but that made you feel better. It really did. Ghost Sombra just looks between you and where the colonel was, getting even more confused the more he looked between the two.

As you walk to your front door, the front door that you haven't seen in what feels like over a year, you feel more and more a sense of great relief, like you're about to get something you've wanted since this whole thing started. More and more, a smile grows across your face as you reach the door, then, you put your right hoof on the door, and push it open.

Inside, you see the library, nice, clean, and untouched, as it should be, and Spike is standing right there in front of one of the book shelves directly across from you about to climb a ladder so that he could reach one of the top shelves.

The minute you opened the door, he stops in his tracks, turns around, and you watch his eyes go wide when he sees you.

"Twi..... Twi..." he begins to say. You cannot contain yourself.

"SPIKE!!!!" You shout as you run right through the door, past everything in the library, not even caring about that chair you just knocked over, right up to Spike and then throw your hooves around him as embrace him in a big, pony hug. "Oh Spike!" You can't help but shout as you squeeze him like his life depended on it. "I'm so glad you're all right. I'm... I'm.... I'm just so happy to see you again..." At that, you feel a tear roll down your eye. In your hooves, Spike doesn't move around for a moment, but then, after a few moments, you feel his tiny little claws wrap around you too, returning the hug.

You are so glad to be back.

-One really long hug later-

Eventually, the two of you let go of each other and take a step back away from each other. Spike looks so happy to see you.

You are home now, and you've found Spike.

What do you do now?

What do you do?

-Side Story-

-The Starship, Enterprise-

Captain Kirk's private quarters

*Captain Kirk just looks up at this stranger to him who is Bronze Statue for a few moments, incredibly confused before he gets back up. Slim, Jim, and Registered Anonymous just ignore him.*

Kirk: I'm sorry but... who are you?

Bronze Statue: Wha- Oh, right, we've never officially met have we. *holds out hand* Name's Bronze Statue, I'm part of RA's hacker crew, how you doing?

*Kirk looks at Bronze Statue's hand for a few minutes, confused. In the end, he doesn't take it.*

Kirk: Okay... and why do you need Mr. Freebrony's suit?

BS: Because we said we would get it for him.

Registered Anonymous: It's true. Ask him if you don't believe us.

BS: Yeah, don't do that. But yeah, we need his suit and we were told you would know where it was.

*Kirk looks at them, still confused for a moment, but then he takes a deep breath and calms his head.*

Kirk: Yes, I do know where his suit is.

BS: Great, so tell us where it is so we ca-

Kirk: I said that I knew where it was, not that I'd tell you.

BS: Why not?

Kirk: Because even if I was inclined to tell you, you still haven't answered part of my question.

Slim: You know, we're still-

BS: Yeah, yeah, we know, we haven't forgotten.

Kirk: Why does Mr. Freebrony need his suit?

BS: Well with all the s*** that's been going down recently we figure that he kinds of needs it.

*Suddenly, a red shirt runs into the room.*

Red shirt: Sir! Transmission from the da- *suddenly stops dead in his tracks as he sees Slim and Jim in the captain's bed.*

*Suddenly, immediately after that happens, a familiar beeping noise hit's Kirk's ears as he reaches for his communicator, but he isn't there, as he put it away after he got back on board the ship. After a moment, Bronze Statue reaches for his belt and pulls out a communicator, the EXACT same kind that the crew of the Enterprise use.*

BS: *into communicator* Bronze here.

Com: This is Steve. We just got a call from the Daleks. They're letting us back on board.

BS: Great. I'll join you guys eventually. I got something I gotta take care of here, then I'll be right with you.

Steve: Great. Is RA with you?

BS: Yeah, he's here.

RA: HEY STEVE!!!

Steve: Yeah, I hear him. Now, do you have any idea where Slim and Jim are? I can't reach them.

*At that, BS turns back to look at both Slim and Jim, who just give him the evil eye in response.*

BS: Yeah they know, trust me. So don't worry about them.

Steve: Wait, you know where they-

BS: Trust me Steve, its best that you don't bother them. I'll be with you guys eventually, just let me finish up what I'm doing here. *puts his communicator away.*

Kirk: Is that our-

BS: What, this? *Pulls communicator back out.* Yeah, yeah it is. None of you guys were using em so we figured, why the f*** not.

*Kirk is... mildly annoyed by this, since apparently all of the hackers took Enterprise equipment without asking, but he puts it aside for now, as he looks past BS to see the red shirt still standing there, still ogling Slim and Jim. After a loud groan, he walks past BS over to the red shirt.*

Kirk: What is it you wanted to tell me?

RS: What? Oh right. Transmission from the Dalek fleet. Their leader wishes to speak with you.

Kirk: Great.

*At that, Kirk and the red shirt walk out of Kirk's room. Right as the door opens though, BS stops them.*

BS: Wait, what about-

Kirk: His suit is locked away in the cargo hold. Talk to Scotty, he can get it for you. I don't care what you do with it, just don't touch anything else.

BS: Oh.... Okay, thanks.

Kirk: And I want those back!

*At that, both Kirk and the Red Shirt leave the room, leaving BS and RA with Slim and Jim.*

BS: I guess we're going to find Scotty then.

RA: YAY!!!!

*Both of them leave the room too... leaving both Slim and Jim alone again. The two of them look at the door for a moment, then at each other. Within moments, both of them are smiling.... very sultry smiles at each other, and then Slim tackles Jim back down to the bed again. *

-Appaloosa-

The Appaloosa Intelligence Agency

Side Story.
*Appaloosa Inteligence Agency HQ*
(Grey Rebl and Secretary rushed down a hall as they conversed on their next move)
Grey Rebl: I'm going outside.
Secretary: Are you sure?
GR: You know me well enough that I don't like sitting in one place. By now you'd alse figure out that I use the "Don't trust written reports" as an excuse to walk around. I'd rather not let innocents get hurt up there while I sit on my rump all day waiting for the enemy to come in. I'm sure.
S: I see. What about the facility? The ponies are going to be restless.
GR: I'd love to defend our position, but it's unlikely that I will be needed for it. We have the weaponry, security, numbers, and the HQ is well hidden. We have operatives on the job and intructing every pony else on what to do. It's drilled into their heads in case some thing happens. Besides, they have you here. The chain of command will be maintained. The facility is fine as is. Doesn't mean I want any pony to be careless though.
S: Director, being on the front lines isn't very... traditional.
GR: Hey, I'm not a grand mastermind or chess player like the other agencies. I'm blunt, and I like blunt. Saves times.
S: You're not invincible, Director. You'll only get yourself killed.
GR: *Sigh* I know. But I know I used to be when I'm with some pony else. I wasn't alone at the time. *Smiles* And neither now. We still have our allies up in the skies.
S: They are still recovering from recent damages. Should we really call for them now?
GR: It doesn't hurt to ask. Just try and talk to them when I go.
S: What can we do while you're gone?
GR: All I can say is keep the place locked tight, ready anypony who can use a weapon, and after I leave, no pony goes in or out until this is sorted over. We'll communicate through the radio. Everything else, it's all up to you.
S: I still don't like this, sir. This is unheard of! The odds here aren't in our favor, especially against a foreign threat.
GR: Secretary, do you know me? I'm a former CIA Operative, trained and conditioned; I live for these odds. I've learned this through experience: No matter how impossible, there's always a way out. Trust me, believe me.
S: *sigh* I wonder if you have a God-Complexion.
GR: I don't even show the signs.
(They arrive by a door)
GR: If you excuse me, I'm going to go gear up.
S: Sir, If you suddenly die of unknown means, everypony is going to be mad.
GR: Noted.
S: If you live, be prepared for the next batch of MONSTROUS amounts of paperwork. that had been growing ever since
GR: Err... Also noted.

As is

"HA! We haven't seen one of those in a while have we? :D"

-Ponyville-

Sweet Apple Acres

*Apple Farm In Ponyville.*
(It had been a whole day or two after that talk, and Applejack still haven't said anything. Until, when it was after breakfast, after AppleBloom went back to school, she suddenly asked)
AJ: Can this... Ability help mah friends?

(Little Strongheart, BraeBurn, Granny Smith, and Big Mac were a little slow to respong but Granny Smith finally reply with a nod.)
GS: Yes.
AJ: Ah've beem thinkin it over for about a day now... And Ah've finally decided: AH want ya'll to teach me.
BB: AJ?
AJ: For the past month, it's been crazy. James appearing, talkin' to Twi over her issues, but then one of mah friends were attacked in the orchards when the CMC went lumberjackin' with him. In OUR orchards! Right in our property! And Ah can't do any thing about it! Then this riot happened, Derpy got... e-executed. I pummeled them a lot of them guards good, but ah feel ah didn't do enough. If ah have somethin' in me that can help do better, ah'd do what ah can, whatever it takes ta help my friends! So please, can you teach me?

(The rest of the apple family could only smile.)

Again, as is.

"Don't get used to this side story authors."

"Oh, and quick author's note to Grey Rebl. If you insist on doing some kind of Applejack training montage, then I am going to have to insist that you set it to this song. There is an in story reason for this and it will be explained later. So yeah, trust me on this. This is only for if you actually are planning on doing some kind of montage with Applejack. If not, then ignore this author's note."

-Game of Twits-

The Brown Dog waits until Zant is done singing he then starts clapping…with paws…somehow.

BD: Nice, did you just come up with that now?
Zant: Oh no I’ve been waiting to use that one forever
BD: Well I was busy I had to troll some folks, but it’s all good now.
Zant: Well that’s good, would you like some tea?
BD: Nah
Zant: Fluffy! Get some tea for our guest (talking to the invisible air next to him) NO! The iced tea, what do you think we are British? (Looks back to Brown Dog) sorry Fluffy can be a real scatter brain for a Magical Winged Fire Breathing Panda.
BD: I bet, so anyway Zant, care to explain why you framed me?
Zant: Framed you? Whatever do you mean?
BD: Cut the shit Zant, you fucked up a statue in Night Vale and told everyone that I did it.
Zant: What? I did nothing of the sort?
BD: Oh really? You didn’t smear a golden statue with animal blood and dance around it?
Zant: Oh no, I did do that, it was fantastic! But I didn’t blame anything on you.
BD: Then why was there a news report about most of my crimes being broadcast with this little gem being in the middle of it?
Zant: I really couldn’t tell you, all I know is that I went to Night Vale looking for you but every time I asked someone where you were, they just started plugging their ears and singing.
BD: Yeah, you get used to that, and why were you looking for me?
Zant: I had a gift for you, but I found that it was such a lovely town and the people there were so crazy…like me, so I felt like I had finally found a place where I belong. So I went to the city council and asked to join them.
BD: And how’d that go?
Zant: THEY REJECTED ME!!! They said that they may be a town full of supernatural murderous monsters, but that I was just too weird to join them! This is just like when I tried to join the Church of Scientology!
BD: Damn, tough break
Zant: You’re damn right it was. So what if I felt like making a cat smoothie? I felt so alone and betrayed that I sought to bring the only friend I have ever known into the physical world so that everyone could see him. But it failed. I blame Puff the Magic Dragon, him and his stupid sweet tainted blood.
BD: So you tried to bring Fluffy to life by creating a blood pact ritual on Cecil’s statue?
Zant: Well from what you went on and on about he sounded like the man with the most power, so yes. And also my 37 split personalities thought it would be a good idea to draw pretty colorful butterflies on it as well. Also, Fluffy is Alive! I just seem to be the only one who can see him!
BD: Ok, ok…then how the hell was I blamed for this?
Zant: I don’t know, the Sheriff’s secret police tried to arrest me for unlawful blood ritual on a Tuesday, even though it was a Monday, so I ran away while singing the Canadian National Anthem.
BD: So because you were asking for me, they thought you were doing my bidding then?
Zant: Yes that seems to be the sum of everything.
BD: Huh…well damn
Zant: What?
BD: I was kind of hoping that you had done this on purpose so I could have tortured you.
Zant: Oh well, you win some, you lose some. What were you planning on doing?
BD: Well I brought this (Pulls out box of Saran Wrap) and I was gonna pull it all out and not use any of it.
Zant: Oh you Monster! It would’ve been all over the floor!
BD: I know right?
Zant: If you had done that, I would’ve sung like a canary.
BD: About what?
Zant: Everything, like where I keep my cookie jar, how to find Waldo, the key to my treasure room that I hid in the remains of Amelia Earhart, you name it.
BD: (Sighs)…man that would’ve been something…
Zant: Yes…yes it would...(sigh)

A MOMENT OF SILENCE FOR WHAT COULD’VE BEEN

BD: Anyway, now that that’s all cleared up, what was it you wanted to give me?
Zant: Oh right, well I was sitting under a tree made of cotton candy steak the other day and I thought about how I should get you a present for making sure Midna didn’t kill me and giving me this wonderful home
BD: Ya, this place is why I don’t do LSD anymore…or as often.
Zant: So there I sat thinking about what to get you. I thought of the usual gifts, skull thrones, Mortar Launchers, Peanut Brittle, Cersei Lannister’s Left Nipple, when it finally came to me.
BD: Well I hope it was more imaginative, I already have three of the other four things, and not the ones you would expect.
Zant: Oh indeed it is special, nygaaahhhh
Zant presses a button on his huge freaking chair and a disco ball descends from the ceiling while Staying Alive starts Playing. Out of a doorway comes 50 Ostriches on Roller Skates who gather under the ball and start dancing

BD: Are…are those…
Zant: Disco Dancing Ostriches? Yes. Nyghahahahaha.
A single tear rolls down the Brown Dog’s cheek
BD: It’s…It’s beautiful Zant (emotionally moved)
Zant: Thank you, I knew you would love it. There are so many practical uses Disco Ostriches can provide. And the attempted eye pecking isn’t as persistent as you may think.
BD: Thanks Zant (Waves Paw and the Ostriches disappear.)
Zant: Where did you send them?
BD: Oh just somewhere to entertain a few “guests of mine”
Zant: You should send them into that My Little Pony Fan Fiction I’ve seen you in
BD: Oh you’ve been reading Razor’s story?
Zant: Yes…It started out funny but then got really dark and depressing. I think one of the Leprechaun’s in my nostrils died from the grim darkness of it all.
BD: Well that’s what happens when a wannabe dark god derails a campaign.
Zant: Yes, I know that from experience. Oh how I wish I could go to Equestria. All the fluffy little ponies running around having picnics, throwing parties, and stopping monsters from hell itself. Oh how Wonderful that place would be.
BD: Zant, please feel free to take this the wrong way, but I cringe at the thought of you in any Equestria.
Zant: I figured as much
BD: Which is exactly why I will send you to one!
Zant: What really? You mean it?
BD: Hell ya, the Razor community could use some comedy, assuming they read someone else’s story
Zant: Oh fantastic, FLUFFY!!! Get your bags packed, we’re going to a land full of magical horses! Oh I can taste the blood now.
BD: No need, I’ll uh…send him and your stuff there
Zant: Oh thank you Brown Dog, I’ll always remember you
BD: No you won’t (Snaps fingers somehow and he disappears)
BD: Hopefully Ken won’t mind, and even if he doesn’t who cares (Smiles)

The Brown Dog then sits on the Giant Freaking Chair when all of a sudden Cortana comes back online
BD: Oh hey, have a good sleep?
Cortana: Shut up…where are we?
BD: Somewhere in the bowels of insanity that only the dark god Willy Wonka could imagine
Cortana:… Okay…what did I miss?
BD: Not much, just that I solved the crime of the century harassed countless innocents and earned the power of funk. I'll write a letter to Cecil tomorrow, debt collectors may still be lurking.
Cortana: No fires?
BD: Noooo…
Cortana raises an eyebrow
BD: OK two…six…a baker’s dozen at most
Cortana: Do you even know how much that is?
BD: By my count…48.
Cortana: Sigh…
BD: Well I don’t know about you but I think it’s time for bed
Cortana: But I just…(click)
BD: heh heh heh (walks into Zant’s bedroom, which is surprisingly normal)
BD: Tomorrow begins my quest anew of trolling (Goes to sleep)

Meanwhile In the Brown Dog’s Secret Prison
Michael Bay is speaking through his cell to Lieutenant Caine while George Lucas keeps watching Game of Thrones.
MB: And sometimes he actually lets me have Jello that isn’t the nasty yellow flavor.
Caine: That’s…nice, but that still doesn’t explain why I’m here.
MB: Well you obviously were sent here for your crimes against the Brown Dog right?
Caine: I suppose, (puts on broken sunglasses) he didn’t find my jokes punny
(Silence)
Caine: Huh, usually there’s an obnoxious scream by now
MB: You’re in the Brown Dog’s house now man, nothing happens here that he doesn’t want.
Caine: Damn. Why are you here?
MB: (his voice goes hollow and robotic) because I am a horrible director that deserves to be violated by the metallic dick of Megatron…(voice normal) sorry, the mental conditioning does that to you.
Caine: Yeesh
MB: Ya, it’s not so bad, I get three square meals, my own couch, and all the coloring books and basic cable I could want.
Caine: Well how come he gets the premium channels? (Points to Lucas)
GL: Because unlike Michael I have made good movies, and the Brown Dog still has some respect for me. He just wants to keep me from “Going more rabid than I already have.” Not that I’m complaining, I don’t have to deal with nerds here
Caine: Don’t you guys ever try to get out?
GL: Nah, the only thing we have to deal with is the occasional fish slap in the face by him, otherwise it’s cool.
MB: Ya, others have come and gone, and we got it lucky
GL: You don’t even want to know what he did to Uwe Boll.
Caine: Huh…well how often does he come by?
MB: It’s random
GL: Ya, we usually only see the warden. He’s the one who feeds us.
Caine: And who is that?
A door opens and in walks a pale faced man with long black greasy hair and a tuxedo
Tommy Wiseau: Oh Hai prisoners, Wus new wit you?
MB: Not much Tommy, we got a new prisoner today
TW: Ha ha, dat’s very interesting, anyway I got to go now. The Brown Dog though, he sent these. Bye.
The Disco Ostriches roll in and start dancing for the prisoners
George Lucas turns the volume up on his TV while Michael Bay claps his hand like a kid, even as some of them peck at his face.
Caine: …I got nothing.

Meanwhile in the Snowflame Equestria
Zant appears in Canterlot as a unicorn
Zant: Oh my Ganon! Fluffy! We’re finally here
Fluffy: …
Zant: Yes I know, it is exciting, oh look a bunch of somber looking ponies
A bunch of Unicorns are attending a funeral
Zant: Oh I know just what will cheer them up, a puppet show!
Zant then proceeds to use the dead pony as a ventriloquist dummy shocking the others in attendance. What happens next? Read the damn story and find out.

Author's Note

status: edited

This story is brought to you by

Massive amounts of this

Author's Note

status: edited

Missing section from chapter 76

The following is a section from Grey Rebl's section of the side story that he asked me to help him write, but I forgot to include in the chapter itself because................ To be honest I really don't have a reason.

I sincerely apologize for the incompetence on my part. The least I can say now is this part will get the attention it deserves because it has its own chapter, but that does not excuse me from forgetting to include it in chapter 76, where it was meant to be shown. Again, I apologize for the my incompetence. You have my assurance that the actual RazortheAwesome and not just the bold text on the page that you are reading now will pay for his crimes.... WAIT WHA-

-Canterlot, one day ago-

"None of it was even true!" protested the colt.

The AIA? Well, he couldn't let that one go. Like he planned on doing from the beginning, with a slam made with gusto, he did his dramatic entrance. Surprised, the CIA operative didn't have the time to draw out his gun before Clustershine tackled him to the floor and knocked him out with a swift punch to the face, and then one more uppercut to the jaw. Instinctively, Clustershine grabbed the guard's gun from his body, then quickly turned around and pointed it at the colt that the guard was threatening. He was young, very young. So young that he looked like he was fresh from the academy. He probably hadn't even been in a field situation. At this point Clustershine wasn't sure whether to call that good or ill fortune for the young stallion.

"You AIA?" Clustershine asked the young stallion, the barrel of the guard's gun only a few inches from his muzzle.

"Uhh.... Uhh....." was all the young stallion was able to reply. Clustershine was right, this colt never had been in a field situation before. While that was happening, without even looking Clustershine reached down and grabbed the security guard's radio.

"ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTION!!!" Clustershine shouted at him as he pressed the barrel of the gun right up into his muzzle.

"YES! YES I'M AIA!" The colt practically shouted in terror. Inwardly, Clustershine wanted to slap him for shouting that out for the world to hear like that, especially given the situation. Thankfully for the colt, he refrained from doing so. All around them, the few passengers who were still in the car just watched in terror.

Clustershine didn't pay them any mind, until his attention was drawn to the door to he next car as his sensitive ears heard something coming in it's direction. Instinctively, Clustershine checked his pockets, only to find one more smoke bomb, it was his last one. At that he then drew his attention back to the young AIA stallion, who still looked just as terrified as the other passengers.

'S***!' Clustershine inwardly screamed at himself as he pulled the smoke bomb out of his pocket. The literal instant he did, the door to the next car was kicked down by at least four guards, four guards who weren't regular train security, all with guns.

"Come with me if you want to live," Clustershine said to the AIA colt right as he threw the smoke bomb at his hooves. A cloud of smoke immediately filled the room three shots were fired towards the ceiling. The strange, loud noise made everybody on the train cry havoc as all Tartarus broke loose. The guards tried to advance forward through the train, but the combination of the smoke and the panicking passengers made it almost impossible for them to get more than a few feet. When they couldn't move they all drew their guns, only to realize that not only were there too many civilians in the way, but their target was nowhere to be seen.

In the car behind them, the sixth car that Clustershine had run through before he ran into the one he had been in previously, which was the seventh for him, Clustershine and the AIA colt ran like the wonderbolts straight through the train car until they reached the coupling between the sixth car and the fifth. There, they stopped, and right before they entered the fifth car again, Clustershine pointed downwards with his gun and shot the coupling, detaching the rest of the cars from the train.

That done, Clustershine and the AIA colt headed into the fifth train car and without stopping, walked right through it towards the fourth.

"What's going on here!?" The AIA colt asked. "Who are you!? Wha-"

"There are no more birds in the nest," Clustershine replied to the colt before he could even ask another question. It was an old code sure, but many still remembered it. It was a shorthoof phrase for when an agency had been compromised, and Clustershine was at least somewhat certain that they still taught it at the academy, so this young colt would know it, and even if they didn't, he'd know the signs. Upon hearing that phrase, the colt's eyes widened a little bit before he shut up.

Without slowing down Clustershine and the AIA colt made their way from the fifth car to the fourth. As they walked through the fourth car, Clustershine reloaded the gun by switched around the magazine with the other one that was taped to it. Whoever this guard was, he was apparently smart enough to tape two magazines together. It was amazing what one could do with duct tape. When they got the end of the fourth car, before they moved on back to the third, Clustershine turned back around and fired a few shots up into the ceiling.

"EVERYPONY GET TO THE BACK!" he shouted at the top of his lungs as the remaining passengers screamed bloody murder and frantically tried to make their way away from them into the firth car, which was what he wanted. The colt just watched on a mixture of horror and confusion as Clustershine walked around him right into the third car without saying a word.

The two of them then made their way through the third car, only for Clustershine to turn around and fire into the ceiling like he did before, and like before everypony panicked and ran into the car behind them. The then repeated the process in the second car, and before long, they were back into the first, the last car until they were back at the engine.

This time, Clustershine didn't even wait until they were all the way through the car before he raised his rifle to the ceiling and fired off a few rounds, again scaring the passengers.

"All of you, get out of here!" he shouted at them right as he reached the half way mark through the train. While there were fewer passengers on this car than the others, the few that were there panicked just as easily as the others had and ran out to the second car away from them. One of them accidentally bumped into Clustershine's injured wing, which he still kept hidden beneath his jacket, as she tried to nudge around him, making him wince in pain, but it was a just a nudge, it was nothing. He could handle it.

The moment all of the passengers were behind them, Clustershine turned around to face the AIA colt.

"Here, take this," Clustershine said to him authoritatively as he shoved the gun into his hooves. Reluctantly, the colt took it, but his only reaction to it was to look at it with confusion for a moment before looking back up at Clustershine. "You see anything move that isn't me. Shoot it." As he said that he started walking towards the front of the car back towards the engine.

"WHAT!?" The AIA colt shouted, confused as he looked back down at the gun, which to him was still a strange, unknown device. "I don't even know what this thing is. How do you-"

The AIA colt never finished that sentence because the moment Clustershine reached the front door of the car, the moment he reached out his hoof to grab the door handle, another pony, this one an orange earth pony stallion with a brown stripe under his right eye, suddenly dropped down from the roof from the outside, kicked the door in, and then shot at both Clustershine and the AIA colt with a different type of gun than the one the guards had. This one, while still fully automatic, was smaller, as he was able to hold it in a single hoof, but at the cost of being a lot less accurate.

One thing was for certain though, this pony, whoever he was, he wasn't a guard.

Clustershine vs Agent Tiger

The Apartment by John Powell

The orange pony kept his hoof on the trigger and didn't let got as he shot up the whole train car. Before he could hit either Clustershine or the AIA colt, Clustershine quickly ducked to his right behind the door while the AIA colt quickly leapt behind one of the benches and got as low as he could. Bullets past him and several tore through the wooden benches as he hugged the ground and held onto the gun that Clustershine gave him for dear life.

The second the orange pony's hooves hit the floor of the car, Clustershine leapt out at him, grabbed his gun, and then kicked him in his back left leg, causing to two of them to fall backwards to the ground as the orange pony kept his hooves on the trigger and fired up into the ceiling. Clustershine bit his teeth in pain as he landed right on his injured wing, but he fought through it. After a few moments, the orange pony's clip ran out, and the moment it did, Clustershine elbowed him in the face before knocking the gun out of his hooves and in between two of the benches.

Before Clustershine could make a dive for the gun, the orange pony reached up and grabbed Clustershine in a headlock. Clustershine struggled to get free, but it was no use. As he tried to stand back up, the orange pony stood up with him and shifted his position so that he got behind him and was now crushing his windpipe. Clustershine quickly jumped up and hit the orange pony with a knee to the face before quickly following with an elbow to his mid-section, effectively making the orange pony let go of him.

Clustershine then quickly turned around and tried to hit the orange pony with another elbow to the face, but the orange pony blocked it and threw his own punch. Clustershine quickly ducked his head to the side to dodge it and threw his own punch, but the orange pony dodged it and punched Clustershine right in his side, though more specifically, right in his injured wing. Clustershine winced in pain as his wing was hit, giving the orange pony the opening he needed as he got up, spun around, and kicked Clustershine right in the chest with his rear right hoof, which knocked him back several feet.

Clustershine landed on his back and slid for a few feet, thankfully he didn't land on his injured wing this time. The AIA colt could only watch in terror as he saw the tip of Clustershine's head poke out into his field of vision. As much as he wanted to though, he couldn't bring himself to move.

Clustershine wasn't on the ground for long though, as within a moment he was back up on his hooves. As he stood up he got a good look at the orange pony that tried to gun him down, and the moment he saw him, his eyes went wide and his breath nearly left his body. He didn't look to special from other ponies aside from the brown stripe underneath his right eye. His dark orange coat, green eyes, and lightish brown mane wasn't much to draw attention, but it was the stripe under the eye that got Clustershine's attention. He didn't see his cutie mark, as the pony was wearing agency clothes, which further cemented to Clustershine who this pony was, as he didn't need to see his cutie mark. He knew this pony, he was an operative of the CIA, he trained this pony, he vetted this pony.

"Tiger?" Clustershine said in an almost weak tone.

"Sorry," Tiger responded with a smirk as he started walking towards him. That was it for Clustershine, he didn't need to hear anything else. Whoever this pony was, it wasn't the pony he trained. His eyes went wide as he stood back up and walked towards him.

Clustershine didn't even waste a second as the moment he reached Tiger he threw a punch right at him. Tiger however, quickly ducked his head to the right and threw his own punch, which Clustershine blocked before he threw his own again. The two of them traded blows one after the other as Tiger forced Clustershine backwards through the car, neither one seemed to be able to hit the other. As they fought, the AIA pony lifted his head up from the benches and watched them fight, the gun still clutched tightly to his chest. Neither Clustershine nor Tiger paid any attention to him.

Tiger then swung his left hoof at Clustershine, but Clustershine ducked under it, stepped around Tiger, hit him with a backhoof to the head, and then kicked him in the back of his knee again, making him fall to the ground. Clustershine then raised his right hoof and punched down on Tiger. Before he could hit him though, Tiger rolled down the hallway of the train away from Clustershine, making Clustserhine's hoof hit the floor.

Right as Tiger rolled back up onto his hooves, he pulled out a knife with his right hoof.

"Look out!" The AIA pony shouted at Clustershine as he saw it.

Clustershine just walked towards Tiger, but right as he reached him, Tiger jumped back up and kicked Clustershine. Clustershine deflected the kick, but then Tiger quickly threw a punch with his left hoof, which Clustershine deflected, then another one, which he also deflected, then at that Tiger thrust the knife forward right at Clustershine. Clustershine quickly leaned back to avoid the knife and grabbed Tiger's hoof with both of his own forehooves. He then twisted tiger's hoof around to make him drop the knife, but he held onto it. Quickly, Tiger then threw another downward punch with his left hoof, which made Clustershine lean back again to avoid it and freeing his right hoof. With his right hoof free, Tiger swung the knife at Clustershine's throat, but Clustershine stepped back to avoid it and punched Tiger in the face again right as he tried to take a step forwards him.

Clustershine then took a few steps away from Tiger, but he followed him and quickly closed the distance with another thrust of the knife. Clustershine just leaned back again to avoid the knife, but then Tiger took another swing with it. Before he could pull his hoof back, Clustershine quickly rushed close to him and grabbed his hoof. Tiger quickly responded by kneeing Clustershine right in his mid-section, barely hitting his injured wing, and making him wince in pain for a moment. With that, Tiger then swung his left hoof downwards and knocked Clustershine's hooves away from his. He then spun around and tried to swing the knife at Clustershine's neck again, but Clustershine quickly stepped forward again, grabbed Tiger's hoof, pulled him towards him, and then hit him with another punch to the face, which made Tiger stumble backwards a little bit.

Clustershine stayed still and kept his guard up, Tiger was only dazed for a moment before he stepped forward again and swung the knife downwards at Clustershine. Clustershine however, saw that coming and grabbed Tiger's hoof before he could even complete the swing. With that, Clustershine then punched Tiger in the ribs with his other hoof, then spun around Tiger's hoof and held onto it by the elbow. From there, he tried to wrestle the knife away from Tiger's hoof, but like before, he held firm.

Tiger, seeing his situation, quickly threw a punch with his left hoof right in Clustershine's side, and hit his broken wing.

"AGH!!!" Clustershine screamed, but still held on. He then tried to hit Tiger with an elbow to the face, but Tiger blocked it tripped Clustershine back onto his back again, thus freeing his right hoof, and by extension his knife, from Clustershine. He then turned around, but before he could do anything, Clustershine kicked upwards with both of his read hooves and bucked Tiger with in the chest, knocking him a few feet away from him.

Quickly, Clustershine got back onto his hooves and frantically looked around the train car. Close to him, just a row or two away from him on his right, he saw an open window. An open window that was open because there was no longer a window there, presumably because a stray bullet had hit it when Tiger shot up the car. Quickly, Clustershine dashed to the nearest bench on his right right as Tiger got back to his hooves. He then jumped to the next one, and then at the third, he then quickly crawled out of the open window, grabbed the edge of the train, and climbed up onto the top.

Tiger just looked at this and smirked again before he ran to the front of the car and through the crashed open door back outside.

On the top of the train, Clustershine had just pulled himself up and was now on top of the train. Once he was up there, he winced in pain again and fell to his knees as his injured wing reminded him that it was in fact, there. When he looked back up again, the only he thing he could see was Tiger rushing him. Before he could even do anything else, Tiger tackled him to the top of the train and held him there for a moment. Tiger just kept that smirk on his face as he looked down at Clustershine, his knife now held firmly in his teeth. With Clustershine pinned to the ground, Tiger lifted up his right hoof and retrieved his knife.

Right before he could stab down on Clustershine though, Clustershine quickly kneed him in the side before reaching up and punching him right he the neck. Tiger stumbled for a moment at that as Clustershine slipped out from under him and got back to his hooves. Clustershine then tried to throw another punch, but before he could, Tiger stood back up and swung the knife upward at Clustershine, which made him lean back again to avoid it. Tiger then swing the knife again, and again, but again Clustershine kept leaning back to avoid it. Thankfully here on top of the train, without all of the benches in the way he had much more room to maneuver around him.

Eventually, after Tiger's seventh swing of the knife, Clustershine ducked, dropped to his belly, and rolled right under Tiger, making him fall flat on his stomach and making him drop the knife. Tiger tried to make a break for it, but before he could get anywhere, Clustershine grabbed him, put his hooves around his neck, and placed him in a choke hold. Tiger tried to get back up, but Clustershine stood up with him and tightened his hold. Clustershine held firm for several moments, with Tiger doing little but tried to pry Clustershine's hooves away from him, but Clustershine held firm. He wasn't letting go, not now, not to him.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Tiger reached up and punched Clustershine right in his injured wing. Clustershine screamed in pain as he lost his grip on Tiger. Now free, Tiger got back to his hooves, punched Clustershine in the face, then tackled him onto his back and got on top of him. He then put his hooves around Clustershine's neck and started squeezing for all he was worth as he did what he could to keep some pressure on Clustershine's injured wing, which was now bleeding through his jacket.

"Don't worry," Tiger said to Clustershine as he continued to choke him. "Maybe you'll see your friend Tiger in the next life."

Clustershine did what he could to fight against Tiger's hold on him, but then he looked straight ahead. At that, he suddenly dropped his hooves and lay flat against his back. Confused, Tiger looked up, only to be met with the top of a tunnel, right to his face. Tiger's body was pulled away from Clustershine with such force that it almost pulled him up too. It happened to fast and so quickly that Clustershine didn't even see or feel the explosion of blood and guts that he knew must have happened when Tiger slammed face first into a wall at close to a hundred miles per hour.

As he law low and let the tunnel pass over him, he took in a few deep breaths, which slowly became a laugh as he got farther and farther through the tunnel. By the time he had left the tunnel, what started as a little laugh had escalated into full on hysteria as he laughed for all he was worth, as if he were somehow the element of laughter herself.

"Amateur. You lost in one of the most cliché of ways," Clustershine hoarsed, in reaction to the CIA operative's death.

-One few second rest and then a quick trip back to the engine later-

After that fiasco, the batpony hastily disconnected the pulling engine from the carts and made a few bluffs and threats in the radio he found on the floor during the beginning of the scuffle to the chasing guards. He said that the carts left behind has an armed bomb onboard, forcing the them to stop to try and find it. Not like he would do so for real. Hopefully, having been inside the gunpowder room and using the surprise smoke bomb used in the chase, they would take the threats as legit.

"You know, that guy was only doing his job," said the colt.

Clustershine only nodded. Sometimes, things like this happen. Still, that amateur knew what he signed up, and he paid the ultimate price for it.

"Oh, and, um, are who are you? You look terrible."

"Clustershine, former second seat of the CIA. Anyways why are you here?"

The colt's eyes widened and saluted. "S-sir! I, uh, was sent here to deliver a letter to the CIA! Which was... in that one CIA agent's person..." He looked up at him. "But I know that it involves the Changelings that are infiltrating the AIA, as from what I've been told..."

"...what?"

Author's Note

status: edited

And now some recurring jokes return

Give Spike another hug. The poor boy looks traumatized! Ask him what happened, then find your friends. You'll need them for this.

Nothing has changed since the end of the last chapter. Though why you're only calling a few seconds ago a chapter is beyond you, you're still hugging Spike, hugging him for dear life. You're just so glad that he's all right, you even feel a tear roll down your cheek as you feel him squeeze you back. By Celestia, you don't know what you'd do if anything happened to him. Your friends are important to you, sure, nopony is any different, but Spike... Spike's been with you longer than any of them have. You honestly don't know what you'd do with yourself if anything happened to him. Anything at all.

But that is not important now, because he is okay. He is okay and you are hugging him. You are hugging him tightly and you are not going to let him go. Absolutely nothing can ruin this-

-Meanwhile, in a parallel universe where everypony is drunk all the time-

"H..... He.... Hey Jappleack..." Rainbow Dash slurred as she hoofed the bottle she was holding in her direction.

"Yah..." Applejack responded as she leaned against the wall of her barn while the music kept blasting and Pinkie Pie was doing..... whatever it was she was doing.

"You know I.... I... I gotta say....." Rainbow Dash kept slurring. "I... I bucking lo-"

-Meanwhile, in a parallel universe where RazortheAwesome is stupid-

And so um..... um.... Twilight did that thing.... that thing she was suposed to do....... and um.... then jason.... um.... jason saved the world...

-Meanwhile, in a parallel universe where SNOWFLAME is in Equestria-

Wait... If Browndog sent Zant to the Snowflame in Equestria universe than why does he think that Blueblood turned him into a unicorn? And no, "because he's insane" isn't a valid answer.

Because he is insane. And yes that is a valid answer.

Because he doesn't remember me anymore, I told him that as I sent him away, just like how the Winchesters don't remember me :twilightsmile:
All he knows is that he wound up in Equestria and before he knew it was thrown into a mental institution :pinkiecrazy:

Also this.

-Meanwhile, in a parallel universe where everything is blue-

-Meanwhile, in a parallel universe where dinosaurs are still alive, but are also invisible-

Lyra and Bon Bon are sitting on the porch of their new, bigger house in Ponyville with a white picket fence, an actual, proper ceiling, and a garden. In the garden, the most adorable little filly that either of them had ever seen was running around playing with their pet dog. Turned out Lyra really liked dogs. Who knew.

Anyway, the two of them just sat there on their porch watching the little filly, their filly, run around happy to her hearts content. Everything was all right now. It had been a few years since the two of them had stopped the invisible dinosaur apocalypse and became heroes, and now they were doing what they always wanted, just settling down, and leading a good, peaceful, normal life, with a family. Everything was perfect for them.

Then, suddenly, Bon Bon's eyes went as wide as her lover Lyra's whole body as she sat up from her couch and pulled out from behind her chair a crossbow that shoots chainsaws.

"Is that a dinosaur behind our little filly!?" she asked, her voice heavy with concern for their daughter.

"I don't know," Lyra responded as she pulled out a minigun with her magic that was by all rights, larger than she was. "But it's entirely possible."

-Meanwhile, in a parallel universe where everything is in Russian-

О, мой бог, никто из вас не может на самом деле читать это не так ли? Если, конечно, вы не на самом деле русский ... Но да, поскольку я предполагаю, что большинство из вас не может читать по-русски, я могу в значительной степени просто положить все, что захочу здесь и вы, ребята, просто будет полностью потерял не так ли.

"Ах, да! АХ, ДА ОН ДА ОН ДА ОН ДА!" Сумерки кричала в ночь, как Селестия стучал в и из нее с ее гигантской, пульсирующая, Фута пениса. "Ах, да Селестия бац меня, как барабан!!"

-В остальной части этой сцены далеко до дерзкий даже для русско-

-Meanwhile, in a parallel universe where this story is written by George Orwell-

Twilight stood in the main square of Ponyville with Spike on her back looking up at one of the many posters of her mentor and this nation's most glorious leader.

"Why is war peace?" Another voice suddenly asked. Both Twilight and Spike turned to a cream colored pony with a red mane looking up at the same poster as them. The two of them just stared at her for a moment before looking back at each other. Then, without even saying anything, the two walked away, leaving the cream colored, red maned pony there with the poster.

As Twilight walked away from the strange pony down the main street of Ponyville, she caught a member of the thought police walking in the opposite direction.

"Excuse me, excuse me sir!" Twilight shouted the moment she saw him as she gingerly galloped in his direction.

"You have something to report Ms?" the thought police asked her. Twilight just smiled.

-Meanwhile, in a parallel universe where all the ponies use pokemon to fight their battles instead of- -

"RIGHT, STOP THAT!!!"

At the sound of that, both you and Spike break off from your hug and turn to see..... that Colonel pony standing in your library. He's not even looking directly at you two, or anypony for that matter. He's just staring at the wall, or off into space. Sure he does look back and glance at the two of you when he feels other pairs of eyes on him, but then he just goes back to staring at the wall.

"It's silly," the colonel pony continues in his usual British accent. "The chapter started out nice with Twilight's tearful reunion with Spike, but now it's just gotten silly. There are enough parallel universes now to make several, much more interesting stories, and now you're just reusing several of them like you're running out of ideas, which I'd wager you are."

:l

:I

:I

:I

Seriously, that's the only reaction that the three....... two, of you have to this pony right now. Why is he even here? When did he walk in the library? Who is he even talking to? Why are your only reactions a colon and a line, WHY!? WH-

There's some people reading poetry.

"Returnin' from a raid one day, 'er crew of salty hands encrusted her colossal hull with diamonds from the treasure.

Then set sail for the little island port of Indieland, to kill and steal and fornicate and pillage at their leisure."

The sound of another pony with an English accent spouting poetry immediately drove you from your train of though. Immediately the four..... three, of you turned to see two other ponies sitting at a nearby table, both earth ponies. One had a lightish brown mane and facial scruff, wore glasses, and wore a rather nice looking fedora, and the other one was a bit larger than the first, had a nicely combed, darker mane, and wore a nice black suit with a red tie. The suit wearing pony just sat there patiently while the fedora hat pony kept spouting rhymes.

"And you!" The colonel pony shouted as he pointed the riding crop that he had for no explicable reason at them. Immediately, the two of them stopped talking and looked at the colonel with looks of what you could only describe as... Zero bucks.... on their faces. In fact, if it was possible for them to give a negative buck, they probably would have.

The colonel pony just stared at them with his look of seriousness against their looks of zero bucks in an epic battle of wills, with neither side faltering. None of them said anything. Spike just looked up at you confused, but you shrugged your shoulders.

"You two are all right," the colonel eventually said as he dropped his riding crop back to his side. Confused as all hell, you and Spike looked at each other, then back to the colonel pony. Neither of the two poetry ponies took their looks of zero bucks or their eyes off of their faces as they just continued to stare.

After a moment, the colonel turned around to look at you and Spike.

"What?" he said. "There is absolutely nothing wrong, or silly, with two literary individuals of noteworthy intelligence, engaging each other in an epic battle of slam poetry. The rest of you would do well to take a lesson from these two." And with that, the colonel unceremoniously walked out the door. Neither your eyes, nor spikes, nor Som........ Nor the two poetry ponies, left him as you watched him walk out of the library and shut the door behind him.

Sombra:
1. Kill the pony that is preventing any silliness.
2. Silliness.

"When I get my body back," Ghost Sombra didn't say in a deep, almost growl like voice. "I'm going to kill that pony.... slowly... and with the hoof I use to clop." You just ignore Sombra because he didn't say anything because he isn't there.

"The AAA weighed anchor in Indieland's main port, and the islanders looked up with eyes fearful and unblinking," the poetry pony with the fedora continued now that the colonel pony had left the colonel pony had left the room. Both you and Spike looked back at each other for a moment, then headed up the stairs away from the two ponies... or any other ponies that might happen to barge in and ruin the moment like that.

Twilight:
1. Hug Spike
2. Ask Spike what actually happened.
3. Find Jason.

Find out what happened from Spike. Timidly. He's only a baby dragon after all~
Then, after a while of comforting and being with Spike, find Jason. I reiterate what I said last chapter.

What you should do next should be to rut Spike like the dirty little dragon he is- ... wait a moment this is the wrong fanfiction..... right retract my previous statement and replace is with: Make yourself a daisy and daffodil sandwich with EXTRA mayonnaise cause you have a terrible case of the munchies right now! Also you'll need the energy to attempt to find Jason.

Eventually, when the two of you got to the top of the stairs, you... you just can't hold it in. You run forward and grab Spike in another BIG hug, which he returns to you, which he gratefully accepts.

"Oh Spike," you say to him as another tear almost comes to your eye, almost. "I am so so so so so sososososososososo glad you're okay."

"It's good to see you too, Twilight," Spike replies as the two of you let go of the hug. If only your big one downstairs hadn't been ruined. "When did you get back?"

"Just now," you reply.

"Oh," Spike says, as if he just realized something he almost forgot. "Well um... do you want anything? Maybe a daisy and daffodil sandwich with extra mayo or-"

"No thanks, I'm kinda full," you reply to Spike before he can finish. As flattered as you are that Spike is offering to make you lunch right now, you really aren't hungry.

"Full?" Spike asks, confused. "What'd you eat?"

"Raptors," Ghost Sombra doesn't whisper to you like a secret.

"Raptors," you say to Spike with the biggest smile you can possibly put on. In response, he just gives you the biggest look of confusion you've ever seen, even more so than when that Colonel pony suddenly walked into the library.

"Uhh.... Twilight," he says. "What's a raptor?" And only now does it occur to you what you just said.

I forgot rule 2.
Twi, relevance is the key to removing comedy. Call sombra "ghost sombrero". This can only work out well. Then talk to spike about food because you are hungry.

"Damnit, Sombrero," you whisper to yourself as quietly as you can, only for Ghost Sombra to NOT start laughing his nonexistent lungs out with what you just said, and only after you said it do you even realize it. If you were alone, you would smack yourself in the head... repeatedly.

"Uhh.... Twilight..." Spike says to you, looking kind of concerned.

Well Twilight, ask Spike exactly what happened and not to hold back. If he starts crying, comfort him. Ask him where Jason is now, and that you and the girls should go pay him a visit. And put back on your Raiden suit, or at least the sword, shit's dangerous, in fact, give Spike a sword.

Also Sombra spoils the surprise about Jason's powers to you, but you don't believe him, until Spike confirms it. Maybe everything he says isn't totally wrong, and even as you think that he starts saying other facts like:
"Rainbow Dash is gay, Fluttershy has military training, Rarity is a whore, Applejack is part of a secret organization, Pinkie Pie knows the creator of this universe, and Zecora was kidnapped by aliens.

Obviously none of those are true right? :twilightoops:

Oh and Sombra, if it wasn't obvious enough about Risen Flagg being evil, tell her that he is Nyralothep just so she's clear.
Also,make sure to massage her back when she gets all wound up.

"Look, that's not important right now!" you say, hopefully saving yourself from embarrassment as you transition to serious mode. Yes, the time for a heartwarming reunion with your favorite dragon little brother is over, now is time for SERIOUS!!! So serious that you run right back up to him and put both your forehooves on his shoulders. "I heard about what happened! Are you hurt!? Did anypony hit you!? How bad is it!? Is anything broken!? Do you need to go to the hospital!?" You would ask about your friends, but first thing is first. The one who is right in front of you.

"Woah woah woah..." Spike says as he gently nudges your hooves off of you. "Relax Twi, I'm fine. Maybe a few bruises here and there, but nothing major."

"Are you sure!?" You ask, still concerned.

"Yeah," he responds. "Yeah I'm fine. I mean I feel fine."

"Spiiiiiiiiiiike," you say in a more serious tone now. "Are you sure you're not-"

"Twilight," Spike says before you can finish. "After something like this if I really was hurt I'd tell you." And that makes you stop talking.

"You sure?" You ask, which makes him roll his eyes and groan.

"Yes Twi, I'm sure," he says. "And I'm sure again cause I know you're going to ask again anyway. I am definitely, totally, 100%, all right." And with that, you don't think you need to pry him anymore.

"Phew," you say as you let out a breath. "I'm glad to hear that."

"No problem," he says with a shrug as he turns back to his normal self. Okay, now that that's done, on to more pressing issues.

"What about my friends?" you ask. "Are they all right?"

"You know..." Ghost Sombra doesn't say to you while you're saying this. "You know your friends are all right right? Also Applejack is part of a secret organization, Rainbow Dash is hopelessly in love with her, Fluttershy has military training and is a drug lord, Rarity is a whore and Pinkie Pie knows the creator of the universe. Oh, and Zecora got kidnapped by aliens. Can't forget that too."

"Celestia damnit Som-" you whisper again.

"Call me Sombrero again-" Sombra doesn't yell at you before you say another word. "Please, please please call me Sombrero again! PLEASE!!!!" You just ignore him... actually, you don't ignore him because he isn't there.

"Oh yeah," Spike replies, thankfully he didn't hear you whispering to.... actually, he didn't hear it cause you weren't whispering. What whispering, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!? "They're all fine. I heard that Rainbow Dash got a pretty nasty concussion, but that's the worst of it, other than that, everypony else is fine. We're all fine thanks to Jason."

"Jason?" you ask, confused. Who's is Jason? You don't know a Jason.

"Oh yeah, and that human you brought back from that other universe," Ghost Sombra doesn't say to you. "He has godlike superpowers now and is totally a better fighter than you, Celestia, and pretty much everyone else in this story." ..... Not there.... didn't say.... anything...

"The human," Spike replies. "You know, the one you brought here." Then, suddenly, it dawns on you. The human you brought here, the thing that started all of this.... he was in the riot too.... Celestia yeah, you heard that he was in the riot, but the news you heard was that he was the aggressor, he attacked the guards.

"Jason...." you reply, confused.... You didn't even know he had a name. You never bothered to learn what it was.

"Oh yeah," Spike replied like he was talking abut someone awesome. "You should have seen him Twilight. He was like. Pwah pwah, YAH! Take that!" As he talks he makes hitting motions and pretends to swing around what you can only guess is some kind of invisible spear. Also he makes motions that can only be associated with magic, which is impossible because humans don't have magic. Lyra told you... "And then he was like. HYAAAA-"

"Where is he now?" you ask Spike right in the middle of his.... brilliant.... recreation of the riot. "Is he all right?" What are you even asking, of course he is, right? You mean, he helped every single one of your friends, and Rainbow Dash has gotten concussions before from crashes, so if that's the worst of it, everypony should be okay right.... If so, then why did Spike suddenly get silent?

Right in the middle of his reenactment, right as you asked that question, Spike suddenly stopped. He stopped and looked towards the floor, like he was afraid to speak.

"Spike..." you ask in concern, cause now you are. "Is..."

"He's fine," Spike quickly says before you can say anything else. "But um..........." He stops and just starts twiddling with his thumbs a bit, as if he's figuring out what to say next.

"Spike, is he okay?" you have to ask. "Please, tell me."

"He's okay," Spike replied. "But um...."

"Can I see him?" You ask quickly. Something is up, you can tell. As those words leave your mouth however, Spike just looks up at you, suddenly more worried.

"Um..... Yeah.... yeah, sure," he replies to you as he starts walking past you down the stairs again. "Its better if I show you anyway," he says as he descends the stairs back down into the library. You... you just stand there for a moment in a weird mixture of confusion and concern before you run off after him.

"But the hero he said in a tone laced with threat,

The fair common people owe you no such debt."

The second poetry pony said in a sing songy like manner as you followed Spike down the stairs towards the door. As you reached the door, Spike opened it for you and stood there in the doorway, as if waiting for you. You stood there for a moment, just staring at him, as if wherever he was taking you, you somehow didn't want to be there. But still, you kn-

"Oh just get on with it!" Ghost Sombra doesn't shout at you. You just shoot a quick glare at him, which causes Spike to bat an eye, but you quickly shrug it off and unceremoniously walk out the door back into the streets of Ponyville with Spike right behind you.

Now you're out of the library once more and back into the streets of Ponyville with Spike leading your way.

What do you do?

-Side Story-

Authors note to the side story characters: Okay, as you all read with Clustershine, a lot is going to be happening with you guys in the upcoming chapters, and if there ever was a time that you needed to be ready for s*** to hit the fan, now is it, even more so than when I disabled your ships. So yes... You guys are going to need to collaborate with each other and start planning things out. In fact, that is the only real reason why we are doing Twilight's part in the main story right now, so I can give you guys the time you need to plan your next move, and Twilight's part will last as long as it takes for all of you guys to start cooperating and get all your acts together. You guys are going to be holding the spotlight pretty soon, and I'm giving you all the time to get ready for it.

Remember that meeting that Swimming Dalek called earlier, thats what that was for, and I'm still waiting for that to happen, the next big event that I'm planning in the story (yes with Jason), can't happen until you guys get through this part and finish discussing your next move so that I, as the author, will know where you guys stand on everything so I can write the next chapters accordingly.

But yes, that meeting is important, and it needs to happen.... preferably sooner than later, but for it to happen, you all need to be on top of your game and seriously start talking and working with each other.

Oh, and before I forget, here is a list of people who absolutely need to be at this meeting: (SwimmingDalek) Swimming Dalek, Dalek Antares, (Registered Anonymous), Registered Anonymous, Steve, (Gordon Freebrony) Kirk, Spock, (Broniesrponies) BRP.

Anyone else that comes to this meeting is optional and entirely up to you guys. If you guys think that other characters need to be there, that's fine and that's up to you, but those are the characters that absolutely need to be there. Oh, and to Grey Rebl and Bronze Statue, if you're wondering why you're guys aren't there, well there are two reasons for this.

1.) Grey Rebl, you guys are kind of dealing with your own planetside problems right now, of which I'm sure you are well aware and have a plan with which to deal with and continue on with its story, cause it does need to continue about as much as this meeting needs to happen.

2.) Bronze Statue, your character will become important later on in the story, however, he does not need to be present at the meeting. In fact, I do have some things planned for him that involve him not being at that meeting. Also while Bronze is kind of necessary for the sanity of the other characters, he's not a leader per se, not like all the other characters at that meeting. So yeah, he will be important later on, but not at the meeting. So yeah...

But yes, with all that said. I really need you guys to start talking to and collaborating with each other, cause the time you have now is valuable to you, use it wisely. Here, you all can use this to really get yourselves motivated if you need to. Now, lets get back to the actual side story.

-The Starship Enterprise-

-The hallways leading to the cargo and engineering bay-

Oh, and sorry its me again, but before we get on with the actual side story. This right here, this is the kind of collaboration I want to see happening between all of you guys. This... yeah... this right here. Pay attention, cause in the upcoming chapters this sort of thing is what I want to see from all of you. Yeah... take a lesson from Registered Anonymous and Bronze Statue everyone.... Yeah...

*R.A. is currently with BRP trying to find Scotty while he occasionally hits the side of the hallway with his nine iron to stave off boredom... its not helping much*

R.A.: I should have stayed back with Slim and Jim! I bet they're having hot lesbian sex again as I speak... however if somehow word would get out that I did that a certain someone would probably would be a little angry... *begins thinking about it deeply*

BS: *to RA, while on the way to Scotty* You remember what they did to the last guy that tried that, right? *shudders* I still wince when I hear harmonicas. Anyways, I was trying to figure out your usual state of mind when I had an idea: what if someone made a pie with a cookie dough crust and cookie dough filling... then weaponized it? Just saying.
(By the way, Hugh and Nana are still active and can hear everything that's been going on, right? If so, one of them is probably gonna comment on the absurdity of this statement, then get interrupted by RA.)

R.A.: *returns to reality after BS says something about a harmonica and weaponized cookie dough* Oh right yeah weaponized cookie dough sounds awesome however I wasn't refering to Slim or Jim ripping my nutsack off after getting angry at me after making a porno about them. I can handle them easily however I'm more worried about a certain someone else realizing I'm trying to film lesbians having sex with one another or other more scandalous issues that one would misinterpret as cheating... which would make them angry... who would be worse than Slim and Jim being angry at the same time... in fact she probably has suspicions and is looking into this... *begins mumbling to himself as he walks down the hall with the main idea being something about 'Not wanting another repeat of what happened in downtown Sacramento' sounding a little anxious/worried about it*

*R.A. has started to act a little less like his usual self and should be talked to in order to bring him back to his manic and insane self*

BS: sooooo..... team deathmatch?

R.A.: *stops for a second before turning and looking at BS* As much as a team deathmatch seems awesome right now, but I'm currently having a mental meltdown over possible future girl troubles at the moment... so unless you got alcohol, some heavy duty Mary J on ya, or some helpful advice about my girl troubles... I don't really care at the moment. *continues mumbling to himself*

BS: *casually turns on com unit* RA's in a pensive mood. It's kind of scary. He didn't even respond to team deathmatch or cookie dough comments.

Steve: *voice coming from com unit* Wait what? That isn't like R.A. at all... what the hell is he talking about? It's probably the reason for his bad mood.

R.A.: *manic* If she finds a way onto this ship everyone, besides me, will more than likely get killed, killed, KILLED! Why does she have to be such a crazy bitch of a girlfriend! *continues ranting*

*Registered Anonymous and Bronze Statue are still walking through the hallway to the engineering and/or cargo bay... whichever one actually has Gordon Freebrony's suit. Bronze Statue, Nana, and Hugh are oddly silent while Registered Anonymous is whistling the tune to the song "Fight as One" by Bad City and swinging his 9 iron around like a baton, oh, and occasionally hitting the walls with it out of boredom. Just for fun.*

Registered Anonymous: You know, I probably should have stayed back with Slim and Jim! I bet they're having hot lesbian sex again as we speak... However if somehow word would get out that I did that a certain someone would probably be a little angry... *Goes strangely silent for a moment.*

Bronze Statue: You remember what they did to the last guy that tried that, right? *shudders* I still wince when I hear harmonicas. Anyways, I was trying to figure out your usual state of mind when I had an idea: what if someone made a pie with a cookie dough crust and cookie dough filling... then weaponized it? Just saying.

RA: *Spontaneously snaps back to reality after BS says something about a harmonica and weaponized cookie dough* Oh, right, yeah, weaponized cookie dough sounds awesome however I wasn't referring to Slim or Jim ripping my nut sack off after getting angry at me after making a porno about them. I can handle them easily, however I'm more worried about a certain someone else realizing I'm trying to film lesbians having sex with one another or other more scandalous issues that one would misinterpret as cheating... which would make them angry... who would be worse than Slim and Jim being angry at the same time... in fact she probably has suspicions and is looking into this... *begins mumbling to himself as he walks down the hall with the main idea being something about 'Not wanting another repeat of what happened in downtown Sacramento' sounding a little anxious/worried about it*

BS: *Confused* Sooooo..... Team deathmatch?

RA: *Stops for a second before turning and looking at BS* As much as a team deathmatch sounds awesome right now, I'm currently having a mental meltdown over possible future girl troubles at the moment... So unless you got alcohol, some heavy duty Mary J on ya, or some helpful advice about my girl troubles... I don't really care at the moment. *continues mumbling to himself*

BS: Right... *Casually turns on com unit* Yo Steve, RA's in a pensive mood. It's kind of scary. He didn't even respond to any team deathmatch or cookie dough comments.

Steve: *Voice coming from com unit* Wait what!? That isn't like RA at all... What the hell is he talking about? It's probably the reason for his bad mood.

BS: Oh really, I would never have guessed.

RA: *Manic* If she finds a way onto the ship everyone, besides me, will more than likely get killed, killed, KILLED! Why does she have to be such a crazy bitch of a girlfriend! *continues ranting*

Oh, hey, its me again. Registered Anonymous if you're going to bring a new character into the story, at least let me know ahead of time before you do anything. This side story has too many characters in it as it is so adding another one would be-

ALL RIGHT STOP THAT! It's silly...

Wait what!?

You!

Me?

Yes you, clear off. Cut that out.

But I'm the author.

Yes and I'm a Colonel. Now bugger off! Don't make me ask you again.

You know I can have you deleted from the story right?

BUGGAR OFF!!!!

Fine jeez.

-Game of Twits-

Meanwhile in the Bunker –

The collective Councilmen of the Red Council stand around a large silver plated table, each one holding a glass of wine except for Daedaltheus and Integra, who stand at the head of the table, receiving the applause of the rest of the organization.

Bateman: Outstanding work, Daedaltheus, is resolving that whole Jason Morgan plotline.

Swan: Yes, who would have guessed that sending Twilight Sparkle and using Ghost Sombra to convert her to our side would have been the way to do it?

Horrible: Yes and having her kill him in his sleep at the hospital, outstanding job, though a bit cold hearted.

Integra: Not to mention keeping her as the fifth hidden asset this whole time was (she embraces DXIV) genius (nibbles on his ear)

Gunter: Wahn, wahn, wahn (A victory toast)

Gummy: (blinks and drinks the wine as the others do as well)

Within seconds, the members of the Council begin to cough and after a minute, Bateman vomits up blood and collapses onto the floor with Swan and Horrible following suit. Gummy merely closes his eyes while Gunter tries to move towards DXIV.

Gunter: WAHN WAHN (vomits blood) [what the..]

DXIV: That would be the poison I put into your drinks for you see, Gunter, I am replacing you as the head of the Red Council and have found a more suitable subordinate that will serve me.

Nyarlathotep: I was wrong to ever doubt you, my liege (bows to Daedaltheus)

DXIV: Indeed. I realized that you old fools would wish me dead eventually so I came up with the perfect plan to kill you all. I knew that the poison would kill them but not the great and infamous King and God Slayer Gunter so (a gold gauntlet with 6 gems materializes on his hand) I improvised. (snaps his fingers)

Gunter: (explodes and then dies)

Integra: Now that he’s out of the way, what do we do now?

DXIV: We build our empire across the five universes of the Red Council, converting each one to worship the true god of all things, the Almighty Daedaltheus Xenophon Ichabod Vladistov Atriedes.

Meanwhile Not in the Bunker that exists in a parallel multiverse set three months in the future–

DXIV: (paces throughout the conference room, a large mahogany table in the middle as finally the department heads begin to file in)
A middle-aged man of Russian decent sits down closest to his boss, wearing a black turtleneck sweater and slacks while a young blonde woman in a lab coat with what appear to be screws coming from her head, two of them. Dr. Wily files into the room, followed by the head of engineering, a rather short man with a greying bowl cut and seventies mustache with matching glasses with a scruffy looking scientist behind him. Roger Smith and Rip Van Winkle enter the room together, and lastly an android in the form of a middle-aged woman wearing all white and a red ascot enters and takes a seat. Seconds later, a confuddled Raindrops rushes into the room, carrying a clipboard in her teeth that she holds with her wings once she takes a seat by Daedaltheus.

DXIV: Roll call.

Alec Trevelyan: Alec Trevelyan, Head of Finance and Economics.

Fran: Fran Madaraki, Head of Medical.

Dr. Wily: Dr. Albert W. Wily, Head of Research and Development

Dr. Bolivar Trask: Dr. Bolivar Trask, Head of Engineering and Weapons Research

Dr. Herbert West: Dr. Herbert West, Head of Biology and Occult Studies.

Roger Smith: Roger Smith, Head of the Gentlemen.

Rip Van Winkle: Rip Van Winkle, Head of ze Lethal Ladies.

Glados: Caroline ‘Glados’ Johnson, Head of Information and Running All of Your Devices (smirks)

Raindrops: Raindrops (waves), Head of…well secretarial stuff.

DXIV: Daedaltheus Xenophon Ichabod Vladistov Atriedes the Fourteenth, Head of Division Forty-Two, Department of Design, Recruiting, and I sign all of your paychecks.

Dept. Heads: (laugh and giggle lightly)

DXIV: As many of you all know, I received an evaluation from the Council as to my performance regarding the latest assignment for Division 42 as well as my performance as a whole with Red. The results are rather abysmal and after the story finishes out, I am to be taken to the Memorial Point where the Red Council first convened thousands of years ago and executed.

Alec: And what of the Division?

DXIV: You will all be reassigned to the remaining five divisions of Red though those that stay behind or are left to work for Division 42 will be reassigned a new division head. Presently there are three candidates for my job and I have examined all of the files on each of the three candidates.

Raindrops: (begins to tear up)

DXIV: Each and every single candidate is an absolute bellend and is unfit to BREATHE LET ALONE RUN THE MOST PRESTIGOUS DIVISION IN ALL OF RED!

Glados: YEAH!

DXIV: Life has given me an entire bushel of lemons and we are going to make lemonade with them and pour that lemonade in the eyes of every single person that crosses us!

Rip: So, vat does this mean for all of us?

DXIV: Division 42 is at war with the Red Council, or more specifically those that are trying to kill me with those men being Gummy, Swan, Horrible, and of course, Bateman. Now recently, Patrick Bateman attack an OIC Headquarters in New York City leaving dozens dead and even more wounded. Bateman is the first priority and I will be handling him personally himself with a small unit of two other personnel of my choosing.

West: What about the rest of us and the story?

DXIV: Herbert, Bolivar and Albert (pointing to the three doctors) you will be working jointly on a new project that will deal with universe that Swan likes to call home, something that will wipe out all life as we know it.

Wily and West: YES!

DXIV: I am commissioning and restarting the Zero Project as well as the Sentinel Program. I don’t want even so much as the slightest microbe to call the planet home when you are through.

Trask: Consider it done.

DXIV: Alec, I want you to monitor the finances of Dr. Horrible and when the time is right, crash the market in his universe and siphon off all of his funds into an offshore account and redistribute it throughout the major charities in his world.

Alec: Perfect.

DXIV: Rip, you and the lethal ladies still need to focus all of your efforts on finding the Brown Dog.

Rip: Done.

DXIV: Roger, you and the Gentlemen work on a backdoor into Equestria because I got locked out by the god we helped out and cannot use the doorway anymore, so we need a backdoor.

Roger: I get on it as soon as possible.

DXIV: Fran and Glados come by my office in two hours and we will head out to New York to resolve this mess.

Fran: All righty then.

DXIV: Everyone has his or her orders so let’s get to it. Remember we are at war so consider everything that you do with caution. For those of you that were here in 1975 recall what times were like during the war with Writers Helping Initiate the End or as we called them, the White. This is no different except that we are fighting against the men that helped win the war so they are seasoned veterans that will not hesitate to murder each one of you if given the opportunity. Integra is acting as my liaison to the United Nations to inform them of the situation so that way they can prepare as well.

Raindrops: (sitting by Daedaltheus) Um, sir?

DXIV: Yes?

Raindrops: You didn’t give me any orders.

DXIV: Hmmm (puts his hand on her head and ruffles her mane) You just stay shiny.

Raindrops: Thanks.

The pair exit the conference room and walk down the hallway towards Daedaltheus’ office when the pair entered into the dome, where the dozens if not hundreds of employees worked diligently at the tiered computer desk stations.

Raindrops: You know what?

DXIV: What?

Raindrops: It is pretty cool here, all of us working as a part of team.

DXIV: I guess so.

Raindrops: Oh no, the entire thing is awesome. You, the Ladies, and all of the other employees of Division 42. EVERYTHING IS AWESOME!

All at once, the entire room burst out into singing the song Everything is Awesome al while working at their desks, catching Daedaltheus off guard and mildly disturbing him.

DXIV: WHAT THE SAM HILL IS THIS NUN-FUCKERY?!

Raindrops: EVERYTHING IS AWESOME! EVERYTHING IS COOL WHEN YOU’RE PART OF A TEAM!

DXIV: (slips quietly into his office and locks the door) Ok so, the entire room is singing, it’s nto like it means something im…por…tant…. OH SPACE BALLS! (frantically digs through the stack of papers on his desk looking for a single piece of paper he assumed was buried underneath his desk calendar that itself was subsequently buried underneath a stack of papers) Come on, come on… AH HA! The piece of paper I put through the typewriter a few months ago when I was drunk off my ass.

DXIV: Ok, so what did I type up exactly?

When Twilight Sparkle gets control, of the what do part of the story…

DXIV: Ok, nothing that bad yet.

The following chapter is going to be a musical…

DXIV: Still, not that bad.

WHERE ALMOST EVERYONE GETS A MUSICAL NUMBER

DXIV: Oh, piss.

AND SINGS, INCLUDING MYSELF.

DXIV: Fuck me, Ray Bradbury.

Glados: THE GREATEST SCI-FI WRITER IN HISTORY!

DXIV: DAMMIT IT ALL TO… oh hey, there’s one last bit.

In addition, Razor will be kicked in the crotch three times.

DXIV: Oh, this is going to be good.

Back to the Comment for Twilight-

Twilight, the next chapter is going to get really, really silly so whatever you do, don't panic, I repeat do not panic.

STOP THAT, STOP THAT, THIS IS FAR TOO

*PIMP HAND SLAP* SHUT THE HELL UP!

Yes, sir...(whimpers)

So, yeah. Have fun staying sane.

In the Story
Risen Flagg is sitting at his desk being an evil dick like always, when all of a sudden he receives a phone call. He picks up the receiver
Risen: Hello?
Pennywise’s Voice: Excuse me sir, do you have Prince Albert in a can?
Risen: What?
Pennywise’s Voice: You do? Well you better let the poor guy out, waha waha waha waha!!
Risen: Haypennywise!!! I swear to Azathoth I will fucking end you! (Slams receiver down)
Haypennywise: What did I do? (Walks into office)
Risen: Wait…How did…(Looks back and forth between him and phone) Nevermind. (Confused as all hell)

On the other end of the Line, the Brown Dog is laughing his ass off after having used a land line and a soundboard from IT to crank call Risen Flagg. He is sitting in Zant’s domain.
BD: ha ha ha ha…oh man, now that was classic
Cortana: Not to mention childish and immature
BD: Never underestimate the power of children, those little bastards know the right sweet spot when it comes to annoyance.
Cortana: I don’t doubt it…so getting back on track, You did what with Zant?
BD: I sent him away to another Equestria, I’m sure he’ll be happy there
Cortana: Even after all the trouble he caused you?
BD: It was all a big misunderstanding, besides he was trying to give me Disco Ostriches, I can totally overlook everything else.
Cortana: and yet you kidnap and torture actors and directors for doing much less. I still have nightmares after what you did to Uwe Boll, and I don’t even sleep!
BD: They’re crimes are far worse than defacing a statue, MUCH MUCH WORSE!!!
Cortana: And yet you won’t focus any of that energy into something actually productive and helpful.
BD: Ya, because productive and helpful is boring as all hell, my way is funner
Cortana: That’s not a real word
BD: Yes it is, I just said it (Smirks), besides, you’re one to talk about expending energy when you used all your juice to “Put me out of harm’s way”
Cortana: Well excuse me for having your best interests in mind
BD: That’s a weird thing for you to say
Cortana: Agreed, but it is what it is
BD: Next time just tell me when you think something’s up, and maybe I’ll consider it. Besides, my way of travelling is much easier than yours
Cortana: As if you would actually listen to me
BD: I said maybe!
Cortana: Mmhmm (unbelieving) so what’s our next move?
BD: I don’t know, wanna go talk videogames with Snake?
Cortana: That probably wouldn’t be a good idea, the debt collectors may be watching him
BD: Hmm… good point, Damn money grubbers
Cortana: Why don’t you just pay them back and they will stop hounding you?
CSI Miami Scream: YEEAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!
Cortana: The hell?!
BD: Hounding? Really?
Cortana: That pun was not intended, and where the hell did that come from?
BD: Well I it separated from Caine when I sent him away, no fun for him and all that, but I guess it’s latched onto you now.
Cortana: Well take it off!
BD: Nah, this is too interesting to pass up
Cortana: Oh you son of a bitch
CSI Miami Scream: YEEEAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!
Cortana: Wha…?
BD: I’m a dog, so technically my mom would be a bitch…if I had a mom that is…but anyway in answer to your question, I don’t want to pay and that’s that.
Cortana: Any specific reasons?
BD: Nope, just don’t feel like it.
Cortana: Well that’s rich
CSI: YEEAAAHHHHHHH!!!!
Cortana: Damnit!!!
BD: Ha Ha Ha
Cortana: Shut up!
BD: It wasn’t me, it was Amelia Earhart (holds up skull he got from under Zant’s bed)
Cortana: Eww
BD: Relax, she’s been dead for a long time, no smell left
(Produces key from eye socket)
BD: Now let’s see what else we can take

He walks to Zant’s vault which has giant doors depicting countless cartoon characters doing lewd disgusting things to each other
BD: Well this seems promising
He opens the door to the treasure room and all that is in there is three items. I jack n the box with Full Metal Alchemist characters on the side of it, a wind up monkey with a horrifying face, and a mysterious looking box with a lock on it with “Open me” written all over it.

Cortana: Huh…I was actually expecting more
BD: You kidding, this is perfect! Imagine the secrets these things hold. Zant only knows.
The Brown Dog winds the Jack n the Box until both Elric brothers on springs pop out and punch him in the face.
BD: Why you son of a…(throws it across the room)
Cortana: (giggles) now that was smashing
CSI: Yeaahhhhh!!!!!
BD: Oh great, now you’re using it to your advantage.
(grabs the monkey and mysterious box and puts them into his hammer space)
Cortana: Aren’t you gonna open the box?
BD: What and listen to it? No not yet anyway.
Cortana: What about the Jack n the Box?
BD: eeehhhh….Nah! (makes it disappear)
Cortana: Where’d you send it?
BD: I sent it to a friend
Cortana: What friends? You don’t have friends.
BD: That’s true…Acquaintance? Is that the right word? Ya, that.
(glasses start beeping so he taps them)
BD: Well, breaks over, I just found something fun to do (grinning maniacally)
Cortana: Oh dear lord, what is it this time?
BD: You’ll see (disappears from Zant’s Domain)

Author's Note

status: edited

Dead Space 3 Abridged episode 1 is out

I hope you all enjoyed it, and don't forget to subscribe to Effectvekill's and be on the lookout for upcoming episodes.

Stay shiny.

Author's Note

status: unedited

If you read the Game of Twits in the last chapter, then you saw this coming

Alright Twilight lets go try to find Jason, someone in town must have seen him in the past few days right... right?

Find Jason. Hopefully Spike knows where he is. If not, ask around, check the hospital.

Well Twilight, firstly you must get something to eat. If you don't eat, then you're body and mind will start failing you even more.
If you see any crazy shenanigans, then of course you are just hungry and absolutely not going insane right? :twilightoops:
But anyway, get to the hospital is your main concern.

Yes, yes, yes, those thoughts are all on your mind right now, and yes, that is exactly what you are going to do right now. You are going to find Jason the human and talk to him about whats going on around here. He's somehow connected to all of this. You know it. You aren't sure how you know it, but somehow, you just know it, and it a way, that sort of makes you feel a bit worse since you're the only reason that he's here.

But yes, both you and Spike leave your tree/house/library and head out back into Ponyville with Spike leading the way... Right to Jason... wherever he is. Yes........ Right to Jason.... The human you tried to ra-

You know, upon reflection, you're suddenly feeling hungry, maybe you should have taken up Spike on his offer to make you a sandwich. You would have really liked that right now. Oh well.... you're out here now, and you're following Spike. You can get something to eat later. Its not as if things are about to get even more crazy than they already are, right?

So, apparently you decided to faff about Ponyville for a bit, eh, Miss Sparkle. Fine by me, except oh, I don't know, YOU ARE WASTING TIME! What do?
Jesus Fish, have Spike take you to the hospital where Jason is. There done.

Another Brick in the Wall Part 2 by Pink Floyd

Suddenly, the moment you take that first step out of the library, a little ditty that you can swear that you've never heard before suddenly goes off somewhere.

"By all that is me where is that music coming from?" Ghost Sombra doesn't ask, so you don't say anything. It's fine. Its just a little tune thats playing in your head, even though it sounds like its coming from everywhere. You're not insane, you're not crazy. You're just.... hungry.... Yeah, thats it, hungry. You didn't get your sandwich and now you're feeling the obvious effects of hunger. Oh well, its not that big of a deal, its not as if-

"We don't need no education," somepony randomly says to you as she walks right past you in perfect synchrony with the song.

"What the hay?" Spike says upon hearing that. "What was that about, and where's that music coming from?" Yeah, he is kind of right, that is an odd thing to.... wait, what was that last thing he said?

"Wait, you can hear that t-" you try to ask, but somepony cuts you off before you can finish.

"We don't need no thought control," she says while looking at both you and Spike before she goes on her merry way. You don't even know this pony. Why is she saying this to you?

"You can hear that too?" you ask Spike now that she's gone.

"Yeah," he response, confused as all tartarus. "Wh-"

"No dark sarcasm in the classroom," Another pony, that you actually recognize as Flitter, suddenly flies down out of nowhere and sings to you before Spike can finish. Spike doesn't say anything else after that. Apparently he decided not to bother finishing that sentence. Probably a good idea, since if either of you speak you're bound to be inter-

"Teachers leave them kids alone." Yeah, like that. Seriously, what the hay is going on? Is it one of Pinkie's sudden mane street musicals again? This hardly seems to time for it.

"Hey, teacher, leave them kids alone!" you watch of all ponies, Ms. Cheerilee shout.... sing..... shoutsing, to the sky as you and Spike walk past another street. Both you and Spike had to stop and do a double take on that one. Ms. Cheerilee, a teacher, just shouted and sang at the sky for the teacher to leave them kids alone. Who was she talking to? What was going on? Wasn't she supposed to be teaching a class right now? Better yet, if she is here, is school even open right now? Where are the students? Whe- "All in all it's just another brick in the wall." you then watch her interrupt your thoughts again and sing at a guard pony who just happened to walk by with an angry look on her face, like she was absolutely furious with this particular guard.

Both you and Spike just shrug at each other and silently decide to keep on walking. As you walk down the street, you pass another guard pony, and as you to, two more random ponies, one of which appears to be Thunderlane, walk right past you and the guard pony while staring angrily at him.

"All in all you're just another brick in the wall," they both sing to him. The guard pony just angrily looks back at them as he continues on his way. Neither he nor the two ponies pay each other any mind after that. Seriously, what in the name of Celestia was going on? Why was everypony singing? Why were they suddenly so angry at the guards? Yes, Derpy got killed, but it wasn't like the guards had anything to do with it, did they? They... they were guards... Celestia's royal guard... the most trusted.... ponies.... that upheld Celestia's law....

As you and Spike walk out into one of the open squares of Ponyville, you finally spot the source of the music. Right there, right in the middle of the square, is a pony with a guitar. He's just sitting right there.... playing the guitar.... Its not even plugged into anything, he's just standing there, playing it. Well, thats one mystery cleared up you supposed, but that still doesn't answer the question of where the rest of the music is coming from. Whose playing the keyboard, and what about the drums, where are they? All thats here is a pony playing the guitar.

"We don't need no education," you and Spike suddenly hear the sound of what can only be a group of very young ponies sing, and both of you turn 180 degrees to see every little and filly and colt that lives here in Ponyville walking into the square, being led by Ms. Cheerilee- Wait, when and how did she get here? "We don't need no thought control." All of the fillies and colts keep singing as they walk into the square and with a level of organization that is unbelievable, even for them, they all get into rows of five. "No dark sarcasm in the classroom." Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, Diamond Tiara, even Pip, they're all there, and they're all being directed by Ms. Cheerilee.

You and Spike just stand there in between them and the guitar playing pony completely dumbfounded. Even Ghost Sombra appears confused.... Wait, no he doesn't cause he's not there.

"Teachers leave them kids alone," they all continue to sing as they raise their hooves towards the sky. Then, suddenly, they all pause and take in a deep breath. Hey, teacher, leave us kids alone! Seriously, what is going on. They're not shouting at Cheerilee, who are they shouting at? As that happens, a group of four guards, all carrying those weird, black sticks, wander into the square, presumable because of all the music. The moment they see them, all of the little fillies and colts just stare angrily at them and point their hooves. "All in all you're just another brick in the wall." Even Cheerilee joins in. "All in all you're just another brick in the wall."

The guards just return the looks of the angry children with their own angry looking scowls and continue onwards.They don't even notice you or Spike as they walk right past you and continue on their way. They don't even notice the guitar playing Pony as they keep on keeping on their way. At this, the rest of the music seems to drop as the guitar pony picks up his pace a little bit, playing a tune that really, under better circumstances, you'd enjoy. No, really, you would, you'd sit there for hours and try to interpret it, to pick it apart, to just sit there and really take in every note, but for now, now you can't cause of well.... yeah....

As the guitar pony plays, and the guards leave the square, you and Spike watch as all the little fillies and colts disperse and head off in different directions, no one pony in the same direction. Presumably they're all going back home, or at least that's where you're hoping that they're going. Cheerilee just heads back in the direction of the school. She doesn't even acknowledge you, none of them do. Its weird, its like they're all too depressed to talk to you, or too angry.

Smell that air! Feel the past and present as the scent reminds of all the shenanigans of ridiculous proportions. The warmth of the sun, the wood and stones of various houses, and the absent calls of property damage that's supposed to be made by the now deceased Ditzy Doo...

Now you made yourself depressed. Speaking of whom, you hear the idle conversations about her death, and how some missed her.

"Remember how she once tried to put mail in a mailbox, backwards?
"Yeah, she even somehow got stuck in it for some reason. The letter wasn't important at the time though."
"Oh, wasn't it Turner's letter?"
"That's right! In fact, she was still stuck there when he found her. He pulled her out and ended up on top of each other..."
"...which would've been worth the romance if it weren't for the inconvenient puddle of mud and the unpleasant scolding of the Ditzy's boss"

Carrot Top said, "Argh! Enough already!"

"Whoops..."
"...sorry. Now I feel like a bad pony..."

At that, both you and Spike turned back around to watch the guitar pony play away. He was really good, and even Spike was getting into it. You could tell. After a few moments though, his playing, as well as the rest of the music, started to die down a little bit. As this happened, a bunch of ponies suddenly started walking into the square, some of them you knew, but some you didn't, the point is, the square was completely filled with ponies at this point.

"Remember how she once tried to put mail in a mailbox, backwards?" One pony said to another as they walked right past you.

"Yeah, she even somehow got stuck in it for some reason. The letter wasn't important at the time though," the pony she was talking too replied. Wait... were they talking about Derpy?

"If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding!" Another pony randomly yelled at another one right in the middle of their conversation, but they ignored it.

"Oh, wasn't it Turner's letter?" One of them continued.

"That's right! In fact, she was still stuck there when he found her. He pulled her out and ended up on top of each other..." The other one continued.

"WE'RE PONIES, WE DON'T EAT MEAT!!!" Another pony that you didn't see randomly shouted.

"Which would've been worth the romance if it weren't for the inconvenient puddle of mud and the unpleasant scolding of the Ditzy's boss," the first group of ponies continued, their voices fading as they got away.

"I DON'T CARE! YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY PUDDING IF YOU DON'T EAT YOUR MEAT!!!" Somepony else shouted, who you also didn't see. Confused as all there was, you looked to Spike, as if he could give you some kind of answer, but he just shrugged, as did you.

"Okay, seriously, what is going on here, now I'm confused," Ghost Sombra didn't say as he looked around at all of the ponies in the square.

"STAND STILL LADDY!!!!!" Another pony randomly shouted, but again, you didn't see him... or her... whoever it was.....

"YES! YOU!!!! YES YOU LADDY!!!!" At that, the square suddenly cleared out as quickly as it had filled, and you and Spike were alone. Even the guitar pony was gone. Gone with no trace he was even there. He must have cleared out when the square filled, thats the only explanation you could think of. Its not like he was here because this chapter demanded a musical.

"Okay....." Spike said as he looked around at the now empty square with you.

"Yeah, I'm gonna go with the dragon on this one," Ghost Sombra didn't say as he didn't look around, not looking confused as all tartarus where he belonged....

"So....." Spike tried to say, but he didn't say anything else, it was like he thought of what he wanted to say, but immediately forgot the second he opened his mouth.

"Can we just get going?" you say with a sigh.

"Sure," Spike replied as the both of you turned around and went back on your way, only to have your vision suddenly filled with more of Ponyville.... and pink..... a very familiar pink......

"OH MY SALSA IS THAT YOU TWILIGHT!!!!???"

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhh....." is all you can say to Pinkie Pie as she just VERY suddenly appeared in front of your face. No, really, she's less than two inches away from you. Even Ghost Sombra is backing away a bit cause she's too close. Seriously, where did she come from? She wan't there a min- Actually, you know what, you resend that, you aren't confused at all. It's Pinkie Pie, she does this all the time.

"HOLY HOT SAUCE! OH MY GUACAMOLE! ME GUSTA POLLO CON CARNE! DIO MÍO HABLO ESPAÑOL! ¿POR QUÉ HABLO ESPAÑOL? NO IMPORTA CONJETURO PORQUE ESTOY A PUNTO CANTAR! IS THAT YOU TWILIGHT!?" Pinkie incessantly yelled at you without lowering her volume. Thankfully, she didn't accidentally spit on your face.

"Um, yeah Pinkie," you hesitantly say to her, as much as you wanted to see her, you were kind hoping that you're reunion would be a bit more... quiet. "It's-" Before you can even finish that sentence, Pinkie suddenly launched herself forward and pulled you into the tightest hug you've ever been in... Seriously even by Pinkie hug standards this was tight.

"CELESTIA LUNA CADENCE AND EVEN YOU IT IS YOU TWILIGHT!!!" Pinkie screamed again as she squeeze the life out of you. In the corner of your eye, you didn't notice Ghost Sombra trying his hardest to hold back an uncontrollable wave of laughter. You didn't notice it cause he wasn't doing it. "I AM JUST SOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSO HAPPY TO SEE YOU TWILIGHT!!!" Then, at that, she finally let you go and catch your breath.

"Hey Pinkie," Spike says to her as you try to catch your breath. At this point, Ghost Sombra isn't laughing at you.

"Oh, hey Spike," Pinkie replies to him. "Sorry if it seems like I'm ignoring you, but you know, Twilight's here and she-"

"Its okay, I get it," Spike calmly replies to her before she can finish.

"Its good to see you again Pinkie," you say to her before she can do anything else.... Thankfully she allows you enough time to say it. As you say that though, you watch Pinkie suddenly look like she's about to explode with happiness as the smile on her face just gets bigger.... and bigger..... and bigger.....

"OHMYOHMYOHMYOHMYOHMYOHMY I AM JUST SO HAPPY!!!!" Pinkie Pie suddenly screeches as she hugs you again. Thankfully not as tight this time. "How long has it been since you've been gone. It feels like this whole story almost. Whoops, forget I said that, but anyway, YOU'RE BACK TWILIGHT!!!"

"Yes Pinkie, yes I'm back," you say to her.

"Well we gotta do something," Pinkie quickly replied before you could say anything else. "I mean, you missed two, no.... THREE no.... Wait, yes I was right the first time, TWO parties since you've been gone."

"It's all right, Pinkie," you say to her. "I mean, I'm happy I'm back and all but I don't really wa-"

"Don't stop me now, Twilight!" She quickly says to you before you can even finish. "OOoooooooohhhhh I'm just so happy! We totally TOTALLY, and that's a word I don't use very often, gotta do something, because Tonight....." Wait, the way she said that.

Don't Stop Me Now by Queen

"Tonight I'm gonna have myself a real good time, Pinkie.... no..... no no no no non o no no no no no no non o she isn't... As she .... no.... she reaches out of your field of vision and grabs a...... a pool cue? "I feel aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive, and the woooooooooooooooorld it's turning inside out, Yeah!" As she... no,.... no she isn't.... not now.... she sticks the pool cue in the ground and dances around it. As she does this, a bunch of happy ponies start..... walking....... into........... the square....... again..... "I'm floating around in ecstasy," as she....... no...... no..... she somehow spins herself around the pool cue and moves up to the top of it with a complete disregard for gravity. Somehow, the pool cue is able to stay completely still and support her like it were actually stuck in the ground.... and actually able to support her weight. "So-"

"Don't stop me now," the rest of the ponies suddenly..... no..... no they don't as they start to move in and form a circle around you and Pinkie Pie. "Don't stop me-" OH WHO ARE YOU KIDDING THEY TOTALLY ARE!

"'Cause I'm having a good time!" Pinkie SINGS as she suddenly appears right in front of your face again, almost as if she teleported.

"Having a good time!" The rest of the ponies chime in with her. Then, suddenly, at that, you weren't even sure how this happened, it was like a glitch in time, or space... or both considering it was Pinkie Pie, she was suddenly back in the middle of the circle, wearing a yellow jacket for some reason, and holding the pool cue to her mouth like a microphone as she started dancing.... rather provocatively... with it. All around you, LITERALLY EVERYPONY THAT WAS THERE! AND IT WAS EVERYPONY! Suddenly had pool cues of their own and were dancing along with Pinkie Pie.

"I'm a shooting star leaping through the skies,

Like a tiger defying the laws of gravity,

I'm a racing car passing by like Lady Godiva,

I'm gonna go go go,

There's no stopping meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.........................."

As Pinkie sang, all of the ponies around both you and her........ were following her movements...... SERIOUSLY WHY DID THEY HAVE POOL CUES!!!! AND WHY IS GHOST SOMBRA NOT LAUGHING AT THIS!!!! NO HE ISN'T!!!! CAUSE HE IS NOT THERE!!!!!!!.............

"I'm burning through the sky yeah!

Two hundred degrees,

That's why they call me Missus Fahrenheit,

I'm trav'ling at the speed of light,

I wanna make a supersonic mare out of you!!!!"

As both Pinkie and the rest of the ponies sang that last verse, Pinkie suddenly jumped off of her pool cue (which she was somehow dancing on top of..... you stopped asking questions at this point), and landed right in front of your face again. This time she DID accidentally spit in your face. She did that.... only to immediately move back to the middle of the circle.

"Don't stop me now," the rest of the ponies sang as they all danced with their pool cues.

"I'm having such a good time,

I'm having a ball......"

Pinkie sang again...

"Don't stop me now," the rest of the ponies sang.

"If you wanna have a good time,

Just give me a call!!!!!!!"

Pinkie sang as she moved a hoof to her ear like a..... telephone.... WAIT! HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT A TELEPHONE IS!?

"Don't stop me now," the rest of the ponies sang along to the apparent chorus, which they of course all knew.

"'Cause I'm having a good time," Pinkie sang as she swung her pool cue back and forth to the apparent rhythm of her dance.

"Don't stop me now," the rest of the ponies sang.

"Yes I'm having a good time,

I don't want to stop at allllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll... yeah!"

-Sweet Apple Acres Orchard-

Push It To The Limit by Paul Engemann

"Open up the limit," Braeburn Apple sang as Applejack threw a series of jabs, punches, and kicks at him, all of which he nimbly dodged like the trained ninja that he was. The look on Applejack's face was one of pure determination.

"Past the point of no return,

You've reached the top but still you gotta learn,

How to keep it!!!!!!!!!!"

As he sang that last verse, Braeburn ducked to dodge one more of Applejack's kicks, got low, and then quickly spun around and bucked her right in the chest with both of his rear hooves just like she had done to countless apple trees. The blow knocked Applejack back several feet and onto her back, knocking the wind out of her as well.

"Hit the wheel and double the stakes," Little Strongheart suddenly chimed in as she walked over and looked down at Applejack. As she looked down into Applejack's eyes, the look of determination grew and grew until it reached its boiling point.

"Throttle wide open like a bat out of hell,

and you crash the gates...."

"Crash the gates!" Both she and Braeburn sang as Applejack, with a kind of strength that seemed to defy her, jumped back up onto her hooves and ran back at Braeburn. The moment she reached him she threw another punch at him, only for Braeburn to dodge it, move around to her side, and trip her right under her hooves, causing Applejack to fall to the ground again and roll a few times, her precious hat falling off of her head as she did. Eventually, she stopped and looked forward.

"Going for the back of beyond," Granny Smith sang as she walked out from between two of the trees right towards her, the look on her face, was a look of confidence unlike any Applejack had ever seen.

"Nothing gonna stop you,

there's nothing that strong,

So close now you're nearly at the brink,

so, push it!!!!!!"

"Ooo yeah!!!!" Both Applejack and Granny sang as Applejack grabbed her hat and leapt back onto her hooves.

-Rainbow Dash's cloud house-

Turn It Off by Trey Parker, Robert Lopez, and Matt Stone

"When I was in fifth grade, I had a friend, Swift Blade.... Oooh, Swift Blade...," Rainbow Dash sang as she lay on her bed in her room of her cloud house nursing a throbbing headache, which considering she got a pretty nasty concussion during the riot earlier... yeah.... so she lay on her bed with a hoof on her forehead.

"She and I were close as two friends could be,

One thing led to another, and soon I would discover,

I was having really strange feelings for Swift...."

As Rainbow sang, she turned over and put both of her hooves over her eyes.

"I thought about us on a deserted cloud... We're all alone...,

We'd fly naked in the sky, and then she'd try and-,"

As she sang... she pulled her hooves down from her eyes, and were those.... tears...?

"WOAH!" A strange voice, that actually sounded exactly like Rainbow Dash did, suddenly said before she could even finish that though, and before those tears could even finish forming. Quickly, sensing the immediate presence of an intruder, Rainbow Dash quickly jumped up and turned around despite the throbbing pain in her head, only to face the full length mirror that was in her room, which wouldn't have been that out of the ordinary except that her reflection was..... singing.... too.....

"Turn it off!, Rainbow Dash's reflection started singing.

"Like a light switch,

There it's gone! Good for you!

Your hetero side just won!

You're all better now,

Mares should be with stallions – that's Celestia's plan,

So, if you ever feel you'd rather be with a mare-,

Turn it off!"

As she sang, Rainbow Dash, slowly.... as she still wasn't sure just how hard she was hit, got off of her bed and walked towards her reflection until she was right in front of her mirror.

"Well, um.... me," Rainbow Dash said to.... her reflection. "I think it's okay that I'm having gay thoughts. Just so long as I never act upon them." At that, her reflection just stopped and stared at her for a moment with a rather shocked expression on her face.

"No," Rainbow Dash's reflection said as the cheerful smile that was on her face before suddenly returned.

"'Cause then you're just keepin' it down," As she sang that, Rainbow Dash's reflection suddenly got a bit quieter and bent her knees a bit in time with the rhythm, as if to emphasize lowering.

"Like a dimmer switch on low... On low,

Thinking nopony needs to know. Uh oh...,

But that's not true!"

As she sang that last bit, she suddenly stood back up again and returned to her normal pitch and volume.

"Being gay is bad, but lying is worse,

So just realize you have a curable curse-,

And turn it off! Turn it offfffffffffffffffffff!"

Then, at that, a bunch of music suddenly started playing out of nowhere, as Rainbow Dash's reflection stood up on both her rear hooves, threw forehooves out and sang to the sky. Rainbow Dash had to take a look all around her room to see where it was coming from. Maybe she was hit harder than she thought.

"Turn it off!"

Then, suddenly, Rainbow Dash's reflection suddenly reached out of frame from a mirror and pulled out a pool cue and a top hat. Without breaking the flow of the music, she put the top hat on started dancing with the pool cue like it was a cane.... A rather long, straight cane, but still..... a cane.... As the saxophone blasted from seemingly nowhere, Rainbow Dash's reflection danced her hooves away in the confined space of the mirror she was allowed. At this point, Rainbow Dash stopped looking for the source of the music and just watched in confusion as her reflection danced in front of her.

Yeah, she knew how to dance, she always had, but she never learned how to dance like that, nor did she actually own top hat or any pool cues. She didn't even own a pool table. And why was her reflection so damned jubilant?

"Turn it off!"

Rainbow Dash's reflection sang out one more time as she threw both the top hat and pool cue away and stopped dancing.

"Now, how do you feel?" Rainbow Dash's reflection asked her with a smile that Pinkie Pie would envy on her face.

"Uhh...... The same," Rainbow Dash responded, only for a chorus of "Aaaaawwwwwww," to suddenly chime in out of nowhere.

"Then you've only got yourself to blame," Rainbow Dash's reflection kept singing and bobbing to the rhythm at that.

"You didn't pretend hard enough,

Imagine that your brain is made of tiny boxes,

Then find the box that's gay and CRUSH IT!"

Rainbow Dash's reflection didn't even sing that last part, she just yelled it.

"Okay?" Rainbow Dash's reflection as she quickly reverted back to her normal.... ish, jubilant self with a very wide smile on her face.

"No, no... I'm not having gay thoughts," Rainbow Dash quickly responded to appease her reflection, which was kind of starting to freak her out a little now.

"Alright! It worked!" Rainbow Dash's reflection shouted as she stood on her rear hooves again and threw her forehooves out in excitement.

"YAY!!!!!" A chorus of cheers suddenly shouted seemingly out of nowhere, as if congratulating Dash for... something.....

-Fluttershy's cottage-

Omnos by Eluveitie

At Fluttershy's cottage, a chorus of really strange, really weird, really epic, really AWESOME folk seemed to radiate from somewhere on her place of residence as she tended to all of her animals, as it was their feeding time. Upon closer inspection, it was actually her animals that were playing the epicly awesome folk music-

-That the author really recommends because Eluveitie is made of awesome and you all should check them out-

-while Fluttershy began to sing.

"Immi daga uimpi geneta,

lana beððos et iouintutos,

Blatus ceti, cantla carami,"

Fluttershy sang as she sprinkled out some birdseed for her birds before putting it away and grabbing a bag of nuts for the squirrels and rodents.

"Aia gnata uimpi iouinca,

pid in cete tu toue suoine,

pid uregisi peli doniobi,"

She sang as she laid out a few nuts of varying types, but all of large enough sizes for the squirrels and rodents before she pulled the bag away. With that done, she put the bag where she found it, and grabbed a bag of fish food for her fish.

"Aia gnata uimpi iouinca,

pid in cete tu toue suoine,"

Fluttershy sang as she fed her fish, but as she did, a suddenly worry caught her, and it was reflected in her eyes. As she returned to put the bag of fish food back where she found it, she caught a glimpse of Ponyville in the distance.

"Aia mape coime, adrete!

In blatugabagli uorete,

cante snon celiIui in cete!"

She sang as she flew towards the front of her cottage towards it, stopping only at the foot of her porch. All around her, a whole bunch of animals, including the ones that were playing the instruments, ran up by her side.

"Vrit- me lindos dubnon -piseti,"

She sang along with all of her animal friends as she looked out back at her home town, her worry only increasing, along with the knowledge that there was nothing she could do.

"Vrit- me lindos dubnon -piseti,"

She continued to sing, with only her animals for company. The animals who despite everything kept playing THAT AWESOME FOLK MUSIC!!!!!

-Back in Ponyville proper-

Don't Stop Me Now by Queen

Somehow...... Some..... way.... you aren't even sure anymore. You, Spike, Pinkie Pie, and from what you can only assume is EVERY PONY IN PONYVILLE, had moved from the square that you were before to Ponyville's main town square, which you were absolutely certain was NOT the direction Spike was leading you. You don't even remember walking here, SERIOUSLY HOW DID YOU GET HE-

"I'm a rocket ship on my way to Mars,

On a collision course."

Pinkie Pie kept singing, as if to somehow intentionally train wreck your thoughts. Also, she had a top hat for some reason now, but she took it off, spun it around and put it on the top of her pool cue for some reason.

"I am a satellite I'm out of control."

At that, Pinkie then spun her pool cue around, and threw the top hat out into the MASSIVE crowd of ponies dancing around her all with pool cues, only for some random stallion to jump up and catch it perfectly on top of his head.

"I am a sex machine ready to reload,"

At that, Pinkie suddenly spun the pool cue around, brought it between her legs with the front end sticking out, and started to ride it like a.... a.... a...........

WHY IS GHOST SOMBRA LAUGHING!!!!?????

"Like an atom bomb about to,"

Oh oh oh oh oh explode!"

The entire town sang with her as she finished her.... pole dance......

"I'm burning through the sky, Yeah!"

Pinkie sang at the top of her lungs as she pulled the pool cue out from under her, spun it around, and then brought the front end to her mouth like a microphone again.

"Two hundred degrees,

That's why they call me Missus Fahrenheit,

I'm trav'ling at the speed of light,

I wanna make a supersonic stallion of you!"

At that Pinkie then pointed out at the random stallion in the crowd who happened to catch her top hat, who just winked at her. She then held the pool cue horizontally and started swinging it back and forth as she started kicking like she was in a chorus line. All around her, all the other ponies started doing the same thing.

"Don't stop me,

Don't stop me,

Don't stop me,

Hey hey hey!"

All the other ponies started chanting as they danced in place.

Then, suddenly, out of seemingly nowhere, you didn't even see her leave the crowd, Berry Punch, who also had her own pool cue by the way, came up from behind Pinkie Pie and started talking to her.

"Hey Pinkie, you know what time it is?" Berry asked her.

"Don't stop me,

Don't stop me,

Ooh ooh ooh (I like it),"

The rest of the crowd chanted behind them, with the stallion in the top hat leading the other stallions.

"I don't know, what time is it Berry?" Pinkie replied as she stopped dancing and gave her all of the attention.

"Don't stop me,

Don't stop me,

Have a good time, good time,"

The rest of the ponies continued to sing.

"Well......." Berry said as she raised her pool cue, only for Pinkie to follow her actions.

"Don't stop me,

Don't stop me,"

"ITS TIME AT THE BAR!" Berry Punch shouted as she and Pinkie Pie raised their pool cues high, only to charge forward.... right at you..... to a chorus of.

"Ooh ooh alright!"

-Berry Punch's bar-

Drink by Alestorm

Suddenly, a MASSIVE mob of ponies, all armed with pool cues, crashed through the locked doors of Berry Punch's bar (which was closed by the guards because of the riot by the way), and charged towards the counter where all the BOOZE was. Somehow, as that happened, when the kicked the door down, the bolt on the door flew off, ricocheted off of one of the barstools, and flew towards the jukebox. The moment the bolt hit the jukebox, it turned it on and a an anthem of METAL started blasting throughout the bar as Berry Punch and Minuette dove behind the bar and started pouring all the steins they could find with beer.

"Oy you, gimme some beer," the stallion with the top hat said with a wink as THE ANTHEM OF METAL PICKED up and Berry Punch and Minuette started passing out all the beer they could to every single patron of the now reopened (by force) bar.

"Drinkin's now a crime and crime doesn't pay,"

Berry Punch sung as she slid four more pints of beer down the bar to the four matching patrons at the end (all of whom were mares).

"And we go home poor at the end of the day,

But I'd rather live my life in rags,

Than be chained to a desk with a wife thats a hag."

As she sang that, Berry Punch glanced over at Minuette with a loving gleam in her eye. Upon seeing that, Minuette winked back at her, then she stepped on top of the bar, and then stood on top of it on her rear hooves while holding FOURTEEN pints of beer. Three in each forehoof, and eight more with her magical grasp.

"We live each day like there's nothing to lose,"

Minuette sang as she started handing out pints to even more patrons of the bar.

"But a mare has needs and the need is booze,"

At that, Minuette then brought the three pints of beer in her left hoof to her mouth, and took swigs from all three of them, making Berry Punch laugh a bit.

"They say all the best things in life are free,

So give all your beer and your rum to me!"

Then, at that, she threw every single pint of beer she was holding straight up into the air, only for every single of of them to be caught by different patrons without spilling a drop.

"We are here to drink your beer,"

Berry Punch, Minuette, and every single patron at the bar sang as they all thrust their pints of beer to the ceiling, drank merrily, danced, banged their heads, and had fun.

"And steal your rum at a point of a gun,

Your alcohol to us will fall,

Cause we are here to drink your beer,"

"We are here to drink your beer,

And steal your rum at a point of a gun,

Your alcohol to us will fall,

Cause we are here to drink your beer!"

Then, at that, all with pints, they all started chanting as they drank and raised their pints to the ceiling.

"Drink!

Drink!

Drink!

Drink!

Drink!

Drink!

Drink!

Drink!

Drink!

Drink!

Drink!

Drink!

Drink!

Drink!

Drink!"

Every time that word was said, at least five different patrons took a drink.

Everything was perfect, everypony was happy, nothing was wrong.... until the music was abruptly silenced by the sound of a

CRASH!

The instant that sound hit all their ears (well it was more the music abruptly stopping but the crashing noise got them too), every pony patron in the bar looked over to the jukebox, only to see that a spear had been thrown through it. They then all drew their eyes towards the entrance, only to see three guards standing there, one of them missing a spear. The literal instant that everypony realized that they were in fact, really standing there, it immediately got quiet. One could hear a pin drop it was so quiet.

The only sound that could be heard was the sound of the three guard's hooves as they leisurely strolled into the bar, the one leading them with a smirk on his face.

"Oy," the lead one said in what sounded like a very thick English accent as he looked around the bar with a smirk on his face. "What do we have here?"

"Well," the guard to his right, who still had his spear replied. "These ponies broke into this bar an-"

"That was rhetorical," the first guard responded before the second one could even finish, upon which he shut up. At that, he then walked around and looked at all the patrons. "You all do know that we outlawed drinking and closed down all the bars in this town..... Well, this bar, its the only bar in this rathole of a town.... After that.... incident, you all caused a few weeks ago. But you all knew that, right?" At that, he then leered at literally every single patron of the bar.

It took them all a moment, but after those words left his mouth, everypony suddenly realized that they were in fact, all still holding pints of beer. At this realization, they all hit the pints behind their backs and put on the most innocent smiles possible. The lead guard's grin only widened at this.

"You do all know that we can arrest every single one of you just for being here right?" At that, he then drew his attention towards the bar, then at Berry Punch, then at the massive collection of rather nice bottles of booze and fine alcohol behind her. At that, his... sinister-ish smile increased as he turned his attention back to the guard to his left, the one sans a spear. Upon seeing that, the guard just nodded at him and walked off in the direction of the jukebox while the lead pony and his right hand pony headed over to the bar. "But I'm not going to do that, not today." In front of him, all the patrons parted ways and allowed him to proceed.

Once he was there, he pushed a patron out of the nearest barstool onto the floor before taking the barstool for himself, all while leering at Berry Punch.

"I must say, that is a rather nice collection of alcohol," he said to her.

"Um... thank you..." Berry Punch rather nervously responded. Next to her, Minuette tried desperately to contain any trace of negativity she had for this guard, or any guard here for that matter.

"Serve me up a Mystic Amethyst," he said to her.

"What?" Berry Punch asked, confused. This guard... the same ones that outlawed drinking, just-

"Did I stutter?" the guard replied with a smirk.

"Eep, no!" Berry Punch quickly said before she dove down under the bar in order to get the necessary drinks to make that drink. While she was down under the bar, the guard turned his gaze towards Minuette, who just glared back at him, which only caused him to wink at her. Apparently he liked that.

Over at the jukebox, the guard who was minus a spear walked up to it, grabbed his spear with a hoof, then with one quick jerk, pulled it out of the jukebox and the wall behind it like it was nothing. As he pulled the spear out, the needle from the player in the jukebox fell back onto the record, and started playing again. This time however, instead of the EPIC METAL ANTHEM that was playing before, a nice little piano ditty started playing.

Name your Poison by Christopher Lee

The moment the music started playing, Berry Punch finished making the guard's drink and gave it to him. The guard, who was a unicorn by the way, took it from her and eyed it for a moment.

"Mai Tai say that I'm Old Fashioned

Très Vin ordinaire."

The lead guard began to sing as he looked through his drink at the other patrons of the bar. As he did, his left hoof guard returned to his side, but he didn't take a seat. The right hoof guard just looked around at all the patrons, who were all still nervous by his presence.

"That I want a fresh Manhattan

With white anglo-saxons everywhere?"

The lead guard continued to sing.

"A Black Russian's

No Pink lady

Give her the Singapore sling!"

Then, at that, the lead guard then threw his drink up into the air, not even bothering to drink. Nopony caught it and it and it crashed to the ground.

"And Moscow mule is not your baby

So Highball the Vodka and name your sting!"

Then at that, he reached over the bar and shoved Berry Punch to the right, right into Minuette, which knocked them both to the floor. Then, with one great leap, he leapt right over the bar and pulled several bottles of varying types of booze off of the wall, and one from under the counter.

"Be a Big shot

With a Bull shot

Be a Schwein

Mit der Wein!"

He sang as he held them all up for all to see.

"Have a short

Or a Port

Or a snort

Of any sort!"

As he sang that bit, he started pouring out shot glasses for all the different types of booze that he collected, all the while still collecting more in between pouring.

"Asti spumante –

Uno Chianti

Are divine!"

Then, at that, he suddenly thrust one of the shots he poured into one of the patron's at the bar's hooves, then another one, then another, then he threw two up on the air, and they were caught by two other patrons. One of them looked at his drink, confused for a moment, but when he did, one of the other guard's spear was immediately at his throat. Scared, the pony looked up to see the guard smirking and eyeing the drink, then at him. Not sure of what to do, the pony nervously downed the shot, at which point the guard pulled away his spear.

Back at the bar, the lead guard started pouring more shots with his magic and mixing different drinks with his hooves, yes he could do that, while Berry Punch and Minuette nervously watched from across the bar, knowing that there really was nothing they could do to stop him.

"I got some economic,

Hocks,

The lead guard sang as he mixed a drink to the piano music.

"A Gin and tonic,

On the rocks!"

Where pegasai fear to tread, I say:

Choose your booze!

Let's hit the Red eye!"

Then, at that, the guard threw several more shots out at the crowd, every single one of which was caught and downed almost immediately by the patrons for fear of what happened if they didn't.

"Think of young Deanna Durbin

And how she sung on Rum and Bourbon

Or enhance your lunch-

Eon hour with a Planter's Punch

And a Whiskey sour!

If you feel like a wreck

Try a Horse's Neck

Or a Sherry

With a cherry

In the new fun size!"

Then at that, he stopped pouring and throwing out drinks and then pointed at one of the random ponies at the bar, and by pointed, he pressed his hoof right into the pony's muzzle, all the while looking gleefully evil at him.

"If you don't name your poison,

We'll have to get the boys in,

The spirit of adventure opens one's eyes!"

As he sang that last bit, he ran his hooves across his eyes while smiling, for some reason. Then he turned to another patron towards the back and pointed at him. His left hand guard followed by running up to this pony and pointing his spear at his throat.

"If you don't name your poison,

We'll have to get the boys in,

And you'll never see another Tequila Sunrise!"

At that, the pony nervously downed the show he was given. Satisfied, the guard pulled his spear away from the pony's neck and walked away. Back at the bar, the lead guard started dancing in place to himself as the music kept going on and he mixed another drink. As he did, he drew his attention over towards Berry Punch and Minuette, the former of which was still on the floor with Minuette helping her up, and both of whom were keeping their distance from him.

"Live happily ever after,

With a Chablis and some laughter,"

The lead guard sang to the two of them as he mixed a drink for them.

"'Between the Sheets' is lovely,

With a dizzy blonde and a bottle of bubbly!"

Then at that, he poured out the drink in two separate glasses and handed them both to them. As he did, he made sure the knife on his belt was shown. Nervously, both Minuette and Berry Punch took them, but they didn't drink. Thankfully for them, they didn't need to, cause the lead guard took his attention away from them and turned it back to the crowd.

"There's nothing sicker in society,

Than a lack of liquor and sobriety!"

The lead guard sang as he poured out more drinks, with him momentarily distracted, Berry Punch and Minuette threw down their drinks and made a break for the back door. Thankfully he didn't see them go.

"So, down the hatch,

Here's mud in your eye,

Take a bracer,

With a chaser,

Wash it down with Rye!

Bottoms up!

Stirrup cup!"

At that, he hoofed out something like 30 drinks with his telekinesis to random patrons while pouring more.

"It'll put you in the pink,

And all you have to do is,

Drink, drink, drink, drink, driii-ink!"

As both he and his two compatriots chanted those last few words, the lead guard threw up his hooves in triumph and his two compatriots kept thrusting their spears at random patrons, forcing them to drink.

"Drink, drink, drink, drink, driii-ink!

Drink, drink, drink, drink, driii-ink!"

Still, they were forcing them all to drink. Nervously, the ponies kept doing so, for fear of what would happen to them if they disobeyed.

"Drink, drink, drink, drink, driii-ink!

Driiiink!"

At that, the lead guard then held up more bottles of alcohol and stood up onto the bar.

"Driiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-"

"RIGHT! STOP THAT!!!!!!"

The moment that.... voice... that could rival the royal Canterlot voice sounded, everypony stopped doing whatever they were doing and froze in place like they were all hit with an insta-freeze ray. Slowly, every single patron, including the guards, turned their attention back to the entrance to see................. The Colonel...... standing in the doorway.

He didn't say anything at first as he slowly walked into the bar. Then, when he was about half way through, he eyed the two guards with the spears, and then the lead guard, who was still on top of the bar. All it took for the lead guard was the Colonel's stare to remind him just who the lead guard REALLY was.

"Its silly," The Colonel said as he looked around at all the patrons. "Very, very, very silly indeed. You all know that drinking has been outlawed by the rule of Celestia, so clear off before we're forced to arrest every single one of you." Not a single pony in the bar moved. They all just stared at him, confused, wondering why in Tartarus this pony who didn't dress like a guard, and was wearing a Sergeant Major patch yet calling himself "The Colonel" was somehow in charge of all the guards. "WELL! CLEAR OFF!!!!!!!" The colonel shouted at the top of his lungs again.

At that, every single pony put down their drinks and slowly started to leave the bar. Equally slowly, the three guards started leaving as well, with the former lead guard climbing down off the bar.

"You three!" The colonel said as he pointed his riding crop at them. "I'll be speaking with your squad commander about this." At that, they didn't say anything else, they just left. With that over, everypony-

"You, come with me," The colonel said too..... no one.

"I'm talking to you."

Me?

"Yes you! Come with me."

Um.... okay...

-Transition-

"Right," The colonel spoke as we all sat in his office. His rather nice office here in Ponyville. "Now lets see something decent, and military. Some precision drilling."

-Outside-

Just outside, at the edge of town, near the border of the nearby forest, stood eight guards in full armor. All of whom stood at attention in two rows of four.

"SQUAD!!!!" Their drill instructor yelled at all of them, which made them all raise their heads at attention. "CAMP IT! UP!!!"

"Oooh get her! Whoops!

I've got your number ducky.

You couldn't afford me, dear. Two three.

I'd scratch your eyes out."

"Don't come the brigadier bit with us, dear,

We all know where you've been, you military fairy!"

"Whoops, don't look now girls,

The major's just minced in,

With that dolly colour sergeant,

Two, three, ooh-ho!"

Then at that, they all stood at attention again.

"RIGHT! STOP THAT!!!" The colonel shouted as he walked out in front of the eight guards. "It's silly. And a bit suspect I think." He paused for a moment to reflect on that before he turned his attention back to me, yes me, the narration. "Time for the next cha-"

Twilight: If that colonel shows up again, let him know – casually, of course – that Fillydelphia is far sillier than anything in Ponyville. If he doesn't leave then, tell him that Blueblood plowed said Colonel's mother. (his mother's dead. Blueblood knows)

"HEY WAIT!!!" Pinkie Pie suddenly shouted as she equally suddenly appeared in the frame, much to the annoyance of the colonel. "We're not done yet!"

"Yes you are," The colonel replied to Pinkie Pie as he turned to face her. "This chapter started out all right with a simple Pink Floyd Melody in the background while actual, plot related events were taking place, but then you had to come in singing Queen and just make everything silly, and the pool cues were a waste of a reference too. Even if the viewers were able to put together the Shawn of the Dead reference from both them and the song you sang, it still didn't make any lick of sense, and therefore got too silly too quickly. Also, you've sung seven songs already, its time to move on, any longer and this chapter will get even more silly, and I can't have that. Not while I'm here."

"YEAH well I'll have you know that Fillydelphia is far sillier than anything that happens here in Ponyville!!!" Pinkie Pie shouted at him.

"That may be," the colonel replied. "But for the time being I am stationed here in Ponyville, and as such, it is my duty to prevent any silliness that happens in this town."

"Yeah well you forgot one thing Mr. Sergeant Major!" Pinkie Pie shouted rather angrily at him.

"Its Colonel," the colonel replied.

"NO! Because that's a Seregeant Major patch, not a colonel!" Pinkie Pie replied with a roll of her eyes. "You don't get to decide when the chapter ends. Also Prince Blueblood slept with your mother!"

"My mother is dead," the colonel replied, not a once even flinching throughout this whole conversation.

"Blueblood knows," Pinkie replied with a sudden smirk. At that, the colonel's eyes spontaneously went as wide as they possibly could have and his jaw dropped open. "Cue the transition Razor Bazer!"

Already on it Pinkie.

-Transition back to Ponyville-

Suddenly, in the middle of Ponyville, in front of the mayor's office, a stage was set up. No, seriously, a stage was set up. A full on stage, with speakers, a drum set, fireworks, and full on stage props. Seriously, there was everything here.

How did you even get here? You don't even remember walking to this part of town? It was almost as if this story momentarily forgot that it was taking place from your perspective. Yes, the perspective of you, Twilight Sparkle. The personal protege of Princess Celestia, the one who was SUPPOSED to be following Spike to wherever Jason was right now (thankfully he was still right next to you), but instead, you find yourselves here.

WHAT IS GOING ON! HOW DID YOU GET HERE!?

"Beats the **** out of me," Ghost Sombra doesn't say as he looked up at the stage, as do you and Spike. There was a whole crowd of ponies there, all of whom looking at the stage, and all of them cheering. Thankfully they weren't pushing. On stage, you could see two ponies at the guitars, well three if you counted the bassist, and one at the drumset. You couldn't see any of their faces, in fact you couldn't see anything on the stage. They kept dark, which was kind of amazing considering it was still daytime.

Feed My Frankenstein by Alice Cooper

"FEED MY..... FRANKENSTEIN!"

As those words suddenly echoed from the stage, there was a massive explosion as several fireworks went off as the band started playing, and suddenly, you could see a fifth pony on the stage. It was...... Oh dear sweet merciful Celestia it wasn't......

"YEAH PINKIE PIE!!!!!" Several random ponies shouted out from the crowd as they all started cheering.

You know what, you're just going to be honest now...

"Does that mean you'll ac-"

Except for that, that's still not there. Nope.... there is no Ghost Sombra...

On the stage, standing in the middle of the stage on her hind hooves with her forehooves thrown out to the sides, with a riding crop in her right forehoof, was none other than Pinkie Pie. She was wearing a black leather jacket and pants that hugged her body tightly, as well as black T-shirt with a skull on it. Also, her hair was straight for some reason, but none of that was nearly as shocking to see as her face. She was wearing makeup. All it really consisted of was pure black eye shadow all around her eyes and black lines that ran down her face, but makeup nonetheless.

Also she seemed..... gleefully sinister.... Yeah, thats the best way to put it.

As all the ponies in the crowd cheered for her, she...... strutted.... swaying her hips and everything, over to the microphone, grabbed it, and started singing.

"Well, I ain't evil, I'm just good lookin',

Start a little fire, and baby start cookin',

I'm a hungry mare,

But I don't want pizza,

I'll blow down your house,

And then I'm gonna eat ya."

As she sang, she sensually walked to the front of the stage, right up to where you were standing. Then, right as she finished the last lyric, whacked the edge of the stage with her riding crop.

"Bring you to a simmer,

Right on time,

Run my greasy fingers,

Up your greasy spine."

As she sang that part, she leaned...... far.... off of the stage, right up to you, and made a motion with her right hoof like she was doing just that. It kind of freaked you out a little bit.

"Feed my Frankenstein,

Meet my libido,

She's a psycho,

Feed my Frankenstein."

As she sang that, she sensually walked around the stage, and then at the last part, whacked the stage several times with her riding crop. Seriously, where did she even get that? Why did she even have that?

"Hungry for love,

And it's feeding time."

At that, she paused for a moment and threw her mane around while the band did their thing. Out in the crowd, where you were, the crowd would NOT die down.

"You don't want to talk,

So baby shut up."

She looked right at you as she sang that. Again, it kind of freaked you out a little bit.

"And let me drink the wine from your fur tea cup,

Velcro candy, sticky sweet,

Make my tattoos melt in the heat."

At that, she then rushed over to edge of the stage and leaned out again, though thankfully this time, not at you, more to the rest of the crowd... of ponies.... who were all cheering for her.

"Well, I ain't no veggie,

Like my flesh on the bone,

Alive and lickin' on your ice cream coooooooooooooone."

You Suffer by Napalm Death

"UREH!!!!!"

Suddenly, at that sound, everything IMMEDIATELY stopped. The music, Pinkie Pie's singing, the crowd's cheering, even the sound of the wind. EVERYTHING.............. Okay now this was really creeping you out.

"You know, all this EPIC metal stuff is fun and all," Pinkie Pie said as her hair suddenly turned poofy again. "But isn't the point of a musical TO HAVE FUN!!!!" Then at that, the stage suddenly exploded.

Zidler's Rap from Moulin Rouge

No, really, the stage in front of you quite literally exploded. Surprisingly it was made of paper mache, and it exploded with a huge explosion of confetti and smoke, almost like that was the plan all along.

"MOULIN..... ROUGE!!!!" The voice of a random male pony suddenly shouted from... somewhere, and its at this point that everypony in the crowd was wearing some kind of really nice, really fancy, rather frilly dress. Thankfully you weren't wearing a dress, and Spike wasn't wearing anything... wait..... when did he get a top hat? Well, judging from the way he was grasping it, he probably didn't even realize he was wearing it until right now.

"If life's an awful bore,

And living's just a chore,

That you do 'cause death's not much fun."

You suddenly hear the voice of Pinkie sing. Quickly, you look back towards the smoke where the stage used to be.... only to see...... quite a few mares in frilly dresses...... you couldn't quite tell how many there were cause of the smoke, but you could tell it was a lot, and in the middle of them all, was Pinkie Pie, who had now ditched her black leather and was now wearing some kind of red jacket with a filly white shirt. Also she was wearing a top hat and had a cane now.... for no explicable reason. Also.... she was walking... No..... strutting.... right to you.

Also you noticed that practically every mare in Ponyville was singing, but you couldn't quite make out what they were saying.

"I've just the antedote,

And though I mustn't gloat,

And in Ponyville you'll have fun!"

Then, at that, she smacked a mare on the rump with her cane and threw her forehooves out in seeming happiness. Then, at that, she reached you, only to wink at you and walk around you as all the mares dancing around her kept dancing and purposefully throwing up their dresses. As you turned, you could see off in the distance you could see a random mare grabbing a random stallion and kissing him. You hoped that they knew each other.

"So scratch that little neggle,

Give a little wiggle."

At that, Pinkie stopped for a moment, as did all the mares dancing around her, jumped up, turned around, and shook her rump. As all of the mares did this they made sure to throw up their dresses in some way. Though Pinkie, since she didn't have a dress, didn't do that.

"You know that you can,

Because we."

At that, Pinkie Pie stuck her cane into the ground, and twirled around it to face forward again before thrusting her hips out forward.

"Can Can-can!

Don't say you can't, can't, can't!

You know you can Can-can!"

-Meanwhile, in Trottingham-

Make it Bun Dem by Skrillex and Damian Marley

Meanwhile, all that way in the house of Bon Bon's cousin in Trottingham, Lyra, Bon Bon, and her cousin Milky Way, all sat on the couch in her living room. On her head, Bon Bon wore a green, yellow, and red knit cap and a pair of sunglasses. Also her mane had been woven into dreadlocks for some reason. To her right, sat Lyra, and to her left, was her cousin Milky, and on the table in front of them, was a MASSIVE, lit, bong.

"We mash up the place,

Turn up the bass,

And mek dem all have fun."

They all sang, seemingly ignoring the fact that there was enough smoke in the house to probably be considered a fire hazard.

"A-we ablaze the fire,

Make it bun dem."

"We mash up the place,

Turn up the bass,

And mek sum soundboy run,

And we will end your week,

Just like a Sunday."

"We mash up the place,

Turn up the bass,

And mek dem all have fun,

Razor ablaze the fire,

Make it bun dem."

"We mash up the place,

Turn up the bass,

And mek sum soundboy run,

And we will end your week,

Just like a Sunday."

Then, at that, Bon Bon grabbed the bong and took another, MASSIVE hit.

"Hey, Milky," Lyra asked Bon Bon's cousin while she waited her turn.

"Yeah," Milky responded in that sweet, innocent voice she had.

"What do you think you're milk tastes like when you're high?" Lyra asked.

At that, Milky just threw on a real, REAL, sensual smirk and giggled a little bit.

"Wanna find out?" she replied as Bon Bon handed the bong to her.

-Back to Ponyville-

Zidler's Rap from Moulin Rouge

The hay was that? Oh, well, it probably doesn't matter now because EVERY SINGLE stallion in Ponyville (who are all now wearing top hats and suits for some reason, oh, and they have canes too), are all dancing in organized, straight lines by throwing up their hooves, and by extension their hats and canes, and doing a series of pelvic thrusts.

"Here we are now,

Entertain us!

We feel stupid,

And contagious!

Here we are now, entertain us,

A mulatto,

An albino,

A mosquito,

My libido."

Then, suddenly, the moment they finished that, Pinkie Pie came right back out of nowhere. This time, to the left of you as she sensually strutted through the lines of mares towards the stallions.

"Got some dark desire?

Like to play with fire?

Why not let it rip?

Live a little bit!"

At that, she held her cane in front of her and did another pelvic thrust.

"Here we are now,

Entertain us!"

The stallions kept singing as they danced towards the mares.

"We can Can-can!

Don't say you can't, can't, can't!

You know you can Can-can!"

Then, suddenly, right as Pinkie Pie was half way to the meeting of the mares and stallions, she turned and looked right back at you again. It was at this point that you realized that Spike was no longer at your side. OKAY NOW YOU WERE REALLY WORRIED!

"Outside it may be raining,

But in here it's entertaining!"

Then, at that, she suddenly dropped her cane and grabbed both of your forehooves. SERIOUSLY WHERE WAS SPIKE!!!

"If you like, like, like,

To be free, free, free,

Ponyville is the place to be!"

All of the mares and stallions sang together as they came together.

"Because we can Can-can!

Yes we can Can-can!"

Pinkie Pie sang as she got REAL close and pressed her eyes against yours. No, really, she was doing that. SERIOUSLY WHERE WAS SPIKE!?

Smells like Teen Spirit by Nirvana

Then, as all the mares and stallions came together, and all started dancing with, around, and in every manner possible, they sang.

"When the light's out,

It's less dangerous,

Here we are now, entertain us,

I feel stupid and contagious,

Here we are now, entertain us,

A mulatto,

An albino,

A mosquito,

My libido."

Then at that, they each grabbed a partner, all looked to the sky, and shouted, well, more like chanted, two words over and over again.

"A denial!!

A denial!!

A denial!!

A denial!!

A denial!!

A denial!!

A denial!!

A denial!!

A denial!!"

Then, suddenly, the music (which you just now noticed was coming from seemingly nowhere) died down slowly, and all the stallions got on their knees for the mares as they held their hooves. Likewise, Pinkie did for you, for some odd reason.

Everything was quiet.... too quiet... Then you looked down at Pinkie Pie. On her face... was a smile.... and it was getting bigger... and bigger... and bigger.

"Please no...." you quietly say in a.... very small voice.

"Too late, you're already in it," Ghost Sombra doesn't say to you.

Because We Can by Fatboy Slim

"Because we can, can, can,

Yes, we can, can, can, can,

Can, can, can, can, can."

Pinkie suddenly SHOUTED at you as she suddenly jumped up to her hooves, and pressed her eyeballs right against yours again. Then, suddenly, everypony, all the stallions, jumped up and started dancing with their mares. From what you could tell they were dancing in every way possible, but all were sensual.... WAY to sensual for you... especially right now... with Pinkie Pie.

"Oh, oh,

Oh, oh,

Oh, oh."

Everypony seemed to chant as they danced.

"Everypony can, can."

Pinkie sang as she danced with you. Well, not so much dance, as throw you everywhere in ways that made it seem like you were dancing. You don't even know how to dance.

"Oh, oh,

Oh, oh,

Oh, oh."

"Everypony can, can."

Pinkie Pie sang as she spun you around one more time, then brought your face close to her's again.

"Because we can, can, can,

Yes, we can, can, can,

Yes, we can, can, can."

The longer this went on, the more you thought that she seriously had at this point, lost it. Also WHAT WAS WITH HER OBSESSION WITH THE WORD "CAN"?

"Because we can, can, can,

Yes, we can, can, can,

Yes, we can, can, can."

SERIOUSLY WHERE WAS SPIKE!?

"Oh, oh,

Oh, oh,

Oh, oh."

Great, now Ghost Sombra is singing along with them too. NO WAIT, NO HE ISN'T!!!!!!!

"Everypony can, can."

Why...

"Oh, oh,

Oh, oh,

Oh, oh."

WAS...

"Can, can, can."

THIS....

Everypony can, can.

HAPPENING!?

"Bumpy, bumpy,

Grinding,

Bumpy, bumpy,

Grinding,

Bumpy, bumpy,

Grinding."

NO GHOST SOMBRA!!!!! NO!!!!! JUS-

"Bumpy, bumpy,

Grinding,

Bumpy, bumpy,

Grinding."

"CELESTIA DAMNIT, SOMBRA!" You don't accidentally shout to the heavens because of all the bulls*** that's been happening, and Ghost Sombra (who doesn't exist) clearly isn't helping.

"Who?" Pinkie asked, while dancing.

"Who?" You reply nervously, you didn't shout, of course you didn't. "Nopo-"

"Can can, can,

Yes, we can, can, can,

Yes, we can, can, can."

Great, of course she was going to interrupt you.

"Because we can, can, can,

Yes we can, can, can,

Yes we can, can, can."

You know what, you don't even care anymore. You're just gonna stop right here. It doesn't matter how many times Pinkie spins you around or throws you. You're done... You're not doing this anymore.

"Because we,

Because we,

Because we,

Because we."

Not even the combination of Pinkie Pie and Ghost Sombra can make you not be done.... You're done...

"Because we can, can, can,

Because we can, can, can,

Because wecan, can, can."

Well that just magnifies the amount of doneness that you are right now.

"Oh, oh,

Oh, oh,

Oh, oh."

Did you forget to mention how done you were? Cause you're done.

"Everypony can, can."

D-O-N-E-

"Oh, oh,

Oh, oh,

Oh, oh."

OH PLEASE MOMMY FOR THE LOVE OF CELESTIA PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!!!!! YOU'LL DO ANYTHING! YOU'LL EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE GHOST SOMBRA IF YOU HAVE TO!!! JUST PLEASE!!! MOMMY!!!!! MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!!

"Because we can, can, can."

Oh.... it stopped........ Huh..... Well maybe that was what it took.

With the song FINALLY over, everypony stops dancing and just stands completely still in front of their partners, with a few hugging and even kissing. You think you also caught one couple doing.... other things.... but you aren't about to look again.

You just look back at Pinkie Pie, she's just smiling at you, in that same way she does..... You are so going to slap her for this later, and you don't slap ponies....

Not that it matters though, its finally over, and with that Pinkie lets you go, though she doesn't stop smiling for some reason. With you out of her grasp, you take in a deep breath, and try to refocus your thoughts. First, you need to find Spike. Second, you need to get back to finding Ja-

Turn Down for What by DJ Snake and Lil Jon

"TURN DOWN FOR WHAT!!!!"

Suddenly, breaking the ****ing silence like a brick to a window, Vinyl Scratch jumps up above the crowd screaming that....

Almost immediately, as she says that, she jumps up into the air again. When she comes lands, she lands right at her DJ table, which is situated in between two MASSIVE speakers that put the ones that were at the paper mache stage earlier to shame. Apparently, her DJ table was set up this whole time. Seriously, with speakers that big, how did none of you notice that.

"TURN DOWN FOR WHAT!!!!"

Vinyl shouts at the top her lungs again as she starts DJing. At this, all of the ponies start dancing again, though this time, it was a VERY different type of dance. Actually, you resend that. They weren't dancing at all, they were humping the floor, and each other, and everything they saw.

Thankfully, nopony was humping you though.

For some reason though, that made you a bit.... angry. Even Ghost Sombra wasn't humping you.

"TURN DOWN FOR WHAT!!!!"

For some reason...... this agitated you.... more than the fact that they were humping each other........ more than anything.... it made you....

"TURN DOWN FOR WHA-"

Right before Vinyl could even finish shouting that phrase, a MASSIVE explosion came out of nowhere and blew the top off of Vinyl's left speaker.

This had the effect of rending not only the music, but everypony.... EVERYPONY, there, completely silent.

Upon retrospect, you realize just how little of that theres been in the past hour or so....

Anyway, about the blast of... To be honest you weren't even sure what it was. It wasn't magic, that much was certain. No, this explosion was more artificial than that, as if somepony actually bothered to mix all the chemicals necessary to create an explosion and... just set it off on Vinyl speaker... No, wait, you resend that, it was as if somepony FIRED some kind of explosion at the speaker from a canon. It wouldn't have been a cannonball, that would have just gone through Vinyl's speaker not blow it up, also the explosion was too small to have been from a cannonball if it really was done that way, this was from something else. Slowly, you turn around in the direction you THINK the blast came from....

Only to see that you, and everypony in the square right now all were surrounded by several hundred, very annoyed, very ANGRY guards, and all of them were armed with those strange, black sticks that you saw them all carrying when you first got here. Only, there was one difference. Underneath the long part of the many of their sticks, but not all of them, were what you could only guess was some kind of barrel. Off in the distance, you saw a pony load something into the one on his stick before pointing it back at the rest of you.

In front of all of these guards, leading them, was that one pony... The one that was in your library... The colonel... that was what his name was.

"RIGHT! STOP THAT!!!!"

He shouted at everypony, including you, and the instant those words left his mouth, if everypony's attention wasn't on him before, then it certainly was now.

"IT'S SILLY!!!!!!"

"It is silly, it is silly,

It's a beast known as silly!"

All of the guards behind him began to sing the moment that last word left his mouth.

The Mob Song from Beauty and the Beast

"We'll rid the village of this Beast!

Who's with me!?"

The colonel shouted as he pointed at the crowd with his riding crop, then turned back to all of the troops he was leading.

"I am!, I am!, I am!"

The guard's enthusiastically shouted one by one as they all raised their stick, as if they were somehow excited that this was happening, that they were getting the opportunity to do this.

"Light your torch! Mount your horse!"

All the guards began to sing in unison as they, and the colonel, marched towards all of the ponies in the square. Some tried to run, but when they did, some of the guards fired something out from the barrel underneath their sticks at them. When it reached them, whatever those guards shot at them, it exploded into some kind of orange gas. A gas that made whatever pony run into it scream in pain as they ran back out into the crowd in the square to get as far away as possible from it. The ones that you saw that did make it out, they all had red eyes, and tears were pouring down all of their faces.

Tear gas....

The guards were shooting tear gas at the ponies.

"Screw your courage to the sticking place!"

The colonel shouted as behind him, several more guards fired tear gas... shots, at the area surrounding the crowd of ponies that you now found yourself in. There was no way out now without running through it.

"We're counting on The Colonel to lead the way!"

All of the guards sang as they marched on the crowd of ponies. This.... This was insane... Guards were....... THEY'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO ACT LIKE THIS!!!!

"Through a mist, through a wood,

Where within this little town."

You hear a random mare start singing, but you can't tell where she is. The gas is surrounding all of you now.

"Something's lurking that you don't see ev'ry day!"

More ponies from all around you chimed in, but you couldn't tell who they were. None of the ponies around you were singing, so whoever was singing, you couldn't tell or see them.

"It's a beast! One as tall as a mountain,

We won't rest 'til he's good and deceased."

The guards sang as they now surrounded the ever shrinking crowd of ponies. Some ponies tried to resist them, but to those that did, the guards just pointed that end of that stick at their necks or heads, and that was all it took to make them back away. Those sticks, whatever they were, everypony was really afraid of them.

"Sally forth! Tally ho!

Grab your spear! Grab your bow!

Praise Celestia and here we go!"

As they sang that, one of them whacked a pony that was trying to flee upside the head with the end of his stick. Another group tried to do the same thing, but after a very loud "BANG!" noise, they stopped. You didn't see what happened, but it seemed like one of them was hurt now. For a moment you thought you could see red on his hoof.

"We don't like,

What we don't understand,

In fact it scares us,

And this monster is mysterious at least."

They all sang as they drove all of you closer and closer together until you practically touching.

"Bring your guns!

Bring your knives!

Beat the stallions and their wives,

We'll end this silly and survive,

We'll kill the Beast!"

One pony tried to make a break for it and run right through the tear gas, but when she tried, several loud "BANG!" noises rang out right in front of her the moment she touched the edge of the tear gas. Suddenly, before she could even take a step back, another "BANG!" noise ran out, and something hit her right in her right forehoof. Then, suddenly, several more guards walked out from behind the cloud of tear gas, all wearing gas masks, and one of them punched the mare right in the face, knocking her to the ground in front of them. With some struggling, she scurried back to her feet before running back into the crowd.

From all around you, more guards began walking through the tear gas. When they got through so you could see them, they all took off their gas masks and joined in in the sining.

"Cut down a tree, and make it a big one!"

The colonel shouted in front of you as he smacked another pony across the face with his riding crop.

"Take whatever booty you can find.

But remember, the Beast is MINE!"

The colonel shouted at the top of his lungs as he stood up on his rear hooves and threw his right hoof, and by extension his riding crop, forward into the crowd, and pointed right at you....

"Hearts ablaze,"

Pinkie Pie sang from somewhere close to you.

"Banners high,"

Berry Punch chimed in from somewhere too.

"We can't go marching into battle,"

Ghost Sombra chimed in, seeming genuinely worried for you in particular...... Even though.... you refuse to acknowledge him.... you're..... you're.... WAIT HE DOESN'T EXIST! WHO ARE YOU KIDDING!?

We're afraid, and the danger's just increased!!!!

Practically everypony around you sang.

"Raise the flag!

Sing the song!"

The guard's all sang as they moved in to surround all of you.

"Here we come, we're hundreds strong,

And a hundred guards can't be wrong!"

Then, that was it. There was nowhere any of you could run now.

"Let's kill the Beast!"

They all shouted a they all pointed their sticks at all of you. At that, everypony backed up into each other as far as they could, but it wasn't enough...

"Kill the Beast!

Kill the Beast

Kill the Beast!"

They all chanted as they stood at attention, waiting for the order.

This.... this was wrong.... All wrong..... VERY WRONG..... Who were these ponies? They weren't guards? Guards weren't supposed to act like this!!! They're supposed to be kind, understanding, they're supposed to protect the ponies and uphold Equestrian law, not shoot on ponies because they're doing things they don't like and use fear to make them submit. They... They.............

WHO WERE THESE PONIES!?

WHOEVER THEY WERE! THEY'RE OBVIOUSLY NOT GUARDS!!!!

In front of you, you look ahead to see The Colonel again, his gaze affixed right on you, and unblinking. His left hoof is raised, and he, nor anypony needed to say anything, but you knew.... You just knew that the second he put that hoof down.... that.... that.....

How could Princess Celestia ever allow this?

Kiro intends to make a comment with a pop culture reference, but doesn't because he it out of ideas.

Then, suddenly, from seemingly out of nowhere, another loud "BANG!" noise sounded. Then, everypony, including The Colonel and the guards looked to see it coming from somewhere in the middle of the crowd. Instantaneously, they all looked up to see..... something..... small..... one of you could really tell what it was... fly up into the sky, arc over all of you, and then.... fall back to the ground.

You don't know why you didn't even realize it at first, and when you did, your eyes went so wide you could swear they were gonna burst out of your skull, but the thing in the sky, it was one of those explosive gas canisters that all of the guard's were firing at the crowd from their sticks, and it was coming down.... right... on... where.... you.... were....

Then, suddenly, the explosive gas canister landed right on The Colonel's head with a "Thud" before bouncing off and landing harmlessly on the ground. Apparently it was a dud.

"OW!" The colonel shouted as he brought a hoof to his head. The instant that happened, all of the guards stood with their sticks drawn at the crowd, ready for anything.

"S***!!!" A distinctly stallion like voice.... very stallion like voice shouted from somewhere in the crowd. The next thing you knew, some pony ran right past you with the speed of... well for running speed, he was pretty flipping fast, and what was an adjective you don't use. Anyway, he ran right past you and several ponies, right at the colonel, then whacked the colonel right in the head with the end of one of those black sticks.

You didn't see who it was at first, but when you take a closer look, you see that it's that one strange pony from before, the one with a chocolate box mane and a face like a face like a bear, and that jacket that he must have picked up on Ebay.

Quickly, before any of the guards, or any of you could even make a move, the pony dropped to the ground, picked up the dud gas canister, and threw it into the group of guards to his left. For some reason, it exploded this time, and since this group of guards didn't have any gas masks, they all were immediately disoriented.

With that done, the jacket pony quickly turned around, and fired another gas canister into the group of guards to his right.

Megaman 2 by Duane and Brando

"To the windows, to the wall,

'To the sweat drips from my balls!"

The strange jacket pony shouted as he fired... something, out from the end of the black stick at the remaining guards he could see before three more surrounded him.

"I'm beatin' ya down to the f***in' ground.

I got a hoof cannon for y'all, cmon!"

He sand as he whacked one of them across the helmet with his gun, shot the one to his left, and then got behind the last one as they tried to shoot him, effectively making them shoot their own guard. With that done, he then pushed the guard at them and shot at both of them before running down the street of Ponyville.

As he did that, SEVERAL of the guards abandoned their post surrounding the crowd of ponies you were in and immediately chased after this strange pony. Who was that pony? Seriously? If the looks of the ponies around you were any indication, none of them knew who he was either.

Notice some dried green blood. Become EXTREMELY paranoid.

Then, as you look back to where he was, you notice the bodies of the three guards he just killed. He.... just killed..... three.... guards...... He didn't even care, he just killed them, and now their green blood was falling from the holes in their corpses and.......

WAIT WHAT!?

Highway to Hell by AC/DC

Then, suddenly, before you could even properly notice something that might have been an important thing to know for future events, Vinyl Scratch's remaining speaker suddenly came back on again. How it was still working was beyond you, especially with all that was going on, but oh well. It was on again, though this time it was playing a VERY different song.

The moment this song hit everypony's ears. They all looked back at the guards, only to see that only about half of the guards surrounding them were still there. They weren't even surrounding them anymore, it was more of a half circle. They weren't even attempting to move. Seriously, what was with these guards. Anyway, everypony looked back at all the guards, and the longer they looked, the angrier they all got.

Then they all turned to face the remaining guard's and started marching toward them.

"We're on the highway to hell!"

Everypony sang as they all marched towards the remaining guards, the anger in their faces slowly become PURE RAGE with every step.

"On the highway to hell,

Highway to hell!"

Then, at that, when they reached the guard's one of them grabbed one of their sticks from them and whacked them across the helmet with it.

At that, you're calling it done. With everypony distracted, you use this opportunity to quietly slip away.

We're on the highway to hell!"

They all shouted as they began to fight back against the guards. Miraculously, not a single guard fired their weapon. Where they still waiting for the order? Were they really afraid of these ponies? Did they not have the spines necessary to fire? Whatever it was, they weren't doing it.

"Highway to hell,

We're on the highway to hell!"

They all continued to sing as they all beat the crap out of the guards.

"Highway to hell!"

You heard them all chant as you..... very quickly now, got away from them.

"Highway to hell,

"Highway to hell,

"Highway to hell,

"Highway to hell!"

Then, with that, you decided that it would be best if for now, you just walked into the nearest building and waited this out. So you did, you walked into the nearest building you could find, which happened to be the Ponyville Hospital.

"And I'm goin' down...."

Ghost Sombra didn't sing to you as you walked through the front door.

"Allllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll the way,

"WOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I'm on the highway to hell."

And with that, there was silence. That was it.

...

...

...

...

...

...

F***ING FINALLY!!!!!!

It was at that point that you noticed that Spike was right next to you again.

"SPIKE!!!" You shouted at the top of your lungs as you threw your hooves around him again. Thank Celestia he's all right, you were SO WORRIED about him.

Ghost Sombra, you've noticed how much she's been hugging on Spike, so obviously she constantly needs affection, so wrap yourself around her in the most embarrassing way possible and don't let go.
Tell her: "you look a lot like another mare I used to know from this position...who was it again?...Oh yeah! YOUR MOTHER!"

As you do this though, you suddenly feel something else wrap around your neck, and no it's not Spike's claws.

Upon inspection, you don't see Ghost Sombra trying to wrap his ghost like form around your in a hug like fashion, only to realize that he's too short so he keeps slithering around you like a snake. First around your neck, then down your back, then your leg, then all of those in reverse again.

"You know," he doesn't say as he slithers along your head and stands on top of you. "You look a lot like another mare I used to know from this position. Who was it again?" He paused for a moment and didn't bring the end of his ghostly tail to the end of his ghostly chin in though. "Oh yeah! YOUR MOTHER!!!!!"

Okay..................

Anyway, with the hug out of the way, time to get serious..... SUPER SERIOUS.

You pull away from Spike as you break the hug, but still keep your forehooves on his shoulders.

"Where were you young man?" you say to him in a stern tone with the most stern look on your face that you can muster. "Do you have any idea how worried I wa-"

"I was right here," he replies before you can even finish.

"Don't talk back to me, young man!" you say, again, very sternly, to him. "You-"

"No, really," Spike says before you can even get another word out.... again.... "I was right next to you the whole time."

"You know he was," Ghost Sombra says right into your ear at that. "I should know, I mean I was watching him cause, you know, you obviously weren't."

Celestia..... if you could tell Ghost Sombra to shut up right now...... you would...... if you weren't with Spike right now..... or in public..... and if he existed..... which he doesn't......

"Seriously, how did you not notice me?" Spike asks you. You open your mouth to respond, but as you do, all the memories of everything that happened come flooding back to you. Well, most of them anyway... Some of them..... Okay, only a few of them, but only the important ones...... Well, important for right now anyway... With that, you realize that as much as you want to be stern with Spike right now, the last thing you want right now is to show everypony that you're insane, which you're not, you were never insane, but they probably all still think you are, and it hasn't been that long...... Yeah....

So with all that in mind, you keep your mouth shut.

"Oh look, we're here," Spike says right as you finish that though, as if it were somehow perfectly timed. At that, you let go of him and look around. The two of you are standing in the front lobby of Ponyville Hospital. For a moment you forgot where you were.

"We're here?" you say in confusion. "Spike, this is the hospital."

"Yeah, I know," Spike responds as he walks past you right up to the front desk. At that, several realizations come across you at once. If he was deliberately leading you to the hospital, then that could only mean a few things, and none of them were things you even wanted to think about right now, and it really freaked you out. No, really, you were worried as tartarus right now. What if he was seriously hurt, or.... or....... Or it could probably be nothing, he probably just got a scratch is all. Yeah, that's it, a scratch, and maybe it somehow got infected, that's why he's here, cause-

"Ah, Spike," Nurse Redheart says with a bit of chipperness in her voice as she saw Spike walking up to the front desk.

"Hey, Nurse Redheart," he politely replies.

"You here to see Jason?" she asks as she grabs a clipboard from behind the desk.

"Yeah," Spike replies as he takes it and starts scribbling on it. As he does that, Nurse Redheart looks past him right at you.

"Oh, hey Twilight, good to see you again," she says to you with her usual politeness. It takes a moment for you to respond, too many thoughts were flowing through your head right now.

"Wha," you respond the moment you realize that she was speaking to you. "Oh, yes, hello Nurse Redheart." At that, she walks around the front desk out to see you.

"How are you feeling?" she asks as she walks right up to you. In the back of your mind, you can think of a million real reasons why she asked that, but keep them back there and just respond politely.

"I'm fine," you say to her. "I'm all right, never better."

"Ha!, that's a laugh," Ghost Sombra doesn't say to you.

"I... I heard about what happened," you add. "That's actually why I'm here."

"Oh, yes, that..." Nurse Redheart responds, almost as if she's pretending that it somehow didn't happen, which you can't entirely blame her for. "I'm just glad that hardly anypony got seriously hurt. I mean, other than Ja-" Before she could even finish that sentence, Spike quickly reached up and grabbed her shoulder, which caused her to break her attention from you down at him. The look he was giving her was.... unreadable. Upon seeing that, all the of her usual cheerfulness slowly drained from her face.

She then looked back at you, and then back at Spike, and then back to you again.

"I see..." she says as she turns her attention back to Spike. "She still doesn't know does she?"

"Know what?" you asked, now with genuine concern. Both Nurse Redheart and Spike only responded with silence. The longer the silence went on, the longer the message started to sink in for you, and the realizations you made earlier started to feel a bit heavier. You were in a hospital.... there was a riot... and....

"Where is Jason?" you ask, now with genuine concern. "Is he here? Is he all-"

"Yes," Nurse Redheart replied before you could finish. "Yes, he's here. As far as your second question. Well...." Before she could say anymore, she stopped herself, as if she didn't want to say anymore. As she did, Spike handed her back the clipboard, which she took from him. As she did that, she looked at him for a moment, then back to you. "I... I think it's better if you see for yourself." Then with that, she turned around and started leading both you and Spike deeper into the hospital.

You always felt uneasy around hospitals. Not because hospitals were filled with sick and injured ponies, that wasn't it at all. It was just when somepony... or in this case... some...human... you knew was in a hospital, then they made you feel uneasy. That wasn't so much the hospital itself as genuine concern for a friend, but the fact that you were in a hospital made you feel more uneasy than you otherwise would be if one of your friends were injured and they were say, resting at their home or at a friend's home, or in the case of the crusaders, at their treehouse. But yes, hospitals made you feel uneasy.

None of you said anything as you walked through the hospital, and thank Celestia, you didn't walk into the Intensive Care unit. At least you could rest knowing he wasn't THAT badly injured... or was he...?

The more you walked through the hospital, the more ponies you saw, some were asleep, some were awake in their beds doing whatever they could with a broken limb. You couldn't help but wonder if any of these ponies got those from the riot. You... You weren't about to ask though.

Anyway, as Nurse Redheart led you and Spike through the hospital, you eventually came to a room on the corner where-

"I'm your sexy horse god of love!

Come down from far up above!"

Wait, what!? That.... that voice startled all of you... to say the least.

Wait a second, that voice, was that?

Slowly, slowly enough to as not even a bee would have noticed any of you move, the three of you sneaked up to the last door at the end of the hallway. It was already open so you didn't have to worry about that. Anyway, the three of you sneaked up to it, all poked your heads around the corner, and saw....

Rarity.... Dancing.... in a rather.... provocative manner... around a patient's bed.

"Mortal human don't you be scared!

To let your lovin' be shared!"

She sang as she crawled up on the bed like she were crawling to-

Wait, SHOULD SPIKE EVEN BE SEEING THIS!?

"I'm working on my twerking,

My libido's always lurking!

'Cause you're just such a handsome monkey,

and this feeling can't be phony."

"I will take you out to dinner,

Make you feel like such a winner,

And before the night is over,

make you feel like such a sinner!"

Oh deer sweet Merciful Celestia what is she doing?

"Kinky," Ghost Sombra didn't say as he didn't watch her dance.

You didn't even notice it at first, but she was apparently so distracted in her singing to... whoever was in the bed, that you all just stopped hiding and were all standing at the foot of the doorway just watching her. She didn't even notice any of you as she crawled all around the bed and kept dancing.

"Any manner make out doesn't matter to me baby,

I can flex to meet your feelings any thing to get you raving,

On a plane, on a train, in Spain in the rain,

I can cater to the cravings that a body never named!"

"So I'm working on my twerking,

Just to get your body jerking,

So sidle up your saddle,

while I go and fetch the paddle."

"Gotta give into your feelings,

Don't you dither with my dealings,

Ain't no grading for my love,

'Cause I'll fit you like a glove."

"Lead or you can follow,

do whatever you can swallow!

Tell it to your friends,

everypony shake your ends."

"Tonight's about the meaning,

of the body-rocking being,

Cause' there ain't no lasting limits,

Any place that you can visit."

"Just have at with your hair,

Move your rump to the snare!"

And at that.... she promptly started shaking her rump.

"Now work your twerking!

Now work your twerking!

Throw that modesty out!"

"Just have at with your hair,

Move your rump to the snare!

"Now work your twerking!

Now work your twerking!

Throw that modesty out!"

Then, at that, she crawled up to the edge of the bed again and threw a hoof to her head in that dramatic ways she does, as if she were somehow begging for something. She also did it in such a way so that you STILL could not see who was in the bed. Though you did notice that it was a very large bed.

"Give your body up,

I'm here to blow your mind!

Get that body working, baby!

Get that body working, baby!"

"Give your body up,

I'm here to blow your mind!

Get that body working, baby!

Get that body working, baby!

"I'm your sexy horse god of love!

Come down from far up above!"

And at that, she jumped off of the bed again and started dancing... again...

Surprisingly, Spike wasn't even mad at this. You're not sure why.

"Mortal human don't you be scared!

To let your lovin' be sha-!"

Then, at that, she suddenly spins around, and looks right at the three of you, and the second she does look right at the three of you, she immediately stops mid-dance, as if she were hit with an insta-freeze ray. Oh, and her face is redder than Big Macintosh's right now of course. Surprisingly, Spike still wasn't even mad.

Then, suddenly, Rarity's insta-freezeness was broken when she fell back to her hooves and coughed into her hoof a little bit.

"Um.... let me guess...." she said with obvious nervousness. "You saw everything didn't you?"

"Yeah," Spike responded. "Yeah we did." STILL HE WASN'T EVEN MAD!

"Oh... um.... Well, since you're here, I-" Rarity tried to say, albeit with a lot of stuttering, but before she could finish, she then saw you standing there. "Twilight!" she practically shouted with excitement. "You're ba-!"

You.... you didn't even hear a single word she said, because the moment she moved, you saw who was in the bed. The only bed that occupied that his corner room of the hospital, the bed that was to large for a pony... You saw him....

Like you weren't even in control of your own actions, you walked right past Rarity right up to him. To him....

It was him. Just as you remembered him. The human you summoned here from another world, another universe... lying in the bed, and he wasn't moving.

He wasn't moving, he was.... he was....

"Is.....-" was all you could let out, but before you could say anything else, Nurse Redheart chimed in as she walked right up next to you, but you didn't even notice her, because your eyes were fixed on him.... On the human... Jason.

"He's all right," she said to you. "He's just unconscious." You heard her, but at the same time, you didn't.... It was as if it might as well have been your brother, Shining Armor, telling you this. "After the riot ended," Nurse Redheart... or was it even Nurse Redheart, continued. "We found in somepony's house several yards away, somehow he was knocked right through the wall." You... you didn't even... "He's a hero, you know," she continued. "When the riot started, and the guards started attacking the ponies, he fought back against them. Every single guard there, he fought them all off with...." the voice that was Nurse Redheart's paused, as if she didn't know what to say. "He fought back against them all. I dare say that the only reason that half of Ponyville isn't here right now is because of him. Your friends, everypony, they're all in his debt."

"It's true, Twilight," the voice of Rarity said as she walked over and put a hoof on your shoulder, but you didn't notice it. Was there a hoof on your shoulder? You didn't know... "He protected us all. If it weren't for him, we'd all be here instead."

That...... that............. He...... he protected your friends........ probably protected Spike too...... protected everypony in Ponyville..... He...... He.....

"We've all been taking turns watching over him since the riot ended," Spike said..... of course he did... as he joined you. "That was two days ago, but he hasn't woken up yet." He.... "But you should have seen him, Twilight! The damage he did, Celestia this guy can kick some flank! I'm just glad he's still alive." He..... he did protect Spike........

Suddenly, the area underneath your eyes felt wetter than they did a few seconds ago.

"Um..." Rarity's voice suddenly said. "I think it's best if we...."

"Yeah," Nurse Redheart said. "Probably."

"Spike," Rarity said to him. "Come come." Spike didn't say anything at that.

You didn't look, but you heard them, you heard the hoofsteps of Rarity, Nurse Redheart and Spike all leaving the room, and then once they were gone, they closed the door behind you, leaving you..... for probably the first time since you brought him here..... alone with the human.... with Jason....

A tear fell from your face onto the edge of the bed, shortly followed by another, and then another, and then another...

What do you do?

-Side Story-

Sorry, no side story today. I'm not doing anything with you guys until you nut up and start cooperating and planning your next move. So yeah, you guys might wanna get moving on that.

Oh, and GordonFreebrony, if you happen to be reading this, yes I am waiting for you to come back and start commenting again. I know you're out there, but I really need you to not be MIA for this. So yeah...

-Game of Twits-

New York – New Year’s Eve at Dorsia

Host: Good evening, sir, do you have a (BANG)

DXIV: Wait here. If anyone of Bateman’s coworkers tries to leave, gun them down.

Fran and Glados: Yes, sir.

DXIV: (enters the restaurant and walks through the crowd towards the back of the building)

Security Guard: Hey, you can’t come back (BANG)

DXIV: Yes, I can. (enters the room where the musical equipment is placed wherein Daedaltheus places a single cd loaded with one song over and over again) All right, that should take care of that. (exits the room)

Bryce: Hey, Daedalus, long time no see.

DXIV: Daedaltheus, and yeah, haven’t been here in a few months.

McDermott: Yeah, can you believe that we all got reservations at Dorsia?

DXIV: Yes, I can. (smiles)

Bryce: But we were talking about partying and I was hoping you might help us answer a question.

McDermott: I’m just saying that when you party, you should take it slow and easy.

DXIV: Don’t you fucking dare…

Bryce: I say that when it’s time to party, we will party hard. (music kicks in over the speakers)

DXIV: GOD DAMMIT! (draws the LAPD 2019 Blaster and blows Bryce’s and McDermott’s head clean off)

Enters the main room of the restaurant holding a sawed-off shotgun and the blaster.

Courtney: Oh my god, is that you Dietrich?

DXIV: DAEADLTHEUS! (BANG) FINKS! ALL OF YOU FINKS!

Crowd: (screams)

DXIV: DON’T RUN! (BANG)

Meanwhile outside of Dorsia-

Bateman: I am me and so much more!

Bateman: Every pleasure is a bore!
Bateman: I am something other than, a common man! I am not a common man!

Bateman: I can’t believe that I actually got a reservation at Dorsia. Luis is going to be so jealous.

Caroline: Hello, and welcome to Dorsia. Do you have a reservation?

Bateman: Yes, I do. Patrick Bateman at nine o’clock.

Caroline: Oh, yes right there, please seat yourself.

Bateman: Thank you. (pauses) Do you like Huey Lewis and the News?

Caroline: I find music to be an interesting experience but has severe limitations.

Bateman: Okay then… (walks through a short hallway) ALL RIGHT, FINALLY GOT INTO DORSIA!

Bateman enters the room only to find his coworkers and few, well what one could call friends of Patrick Bateman, laid out on the floor, walls, and ceiling, dripping with gore.

DXIV: (sitting at the bar with a cigarette hanging from his mouth) Evening, Bateman.

Bateman: Did…did you do this?

DXIV: Yeah, yeah, needed to do something that would get your attention. Burned your office building down, desecrated your apartment, and a few other things that might make you angry.

Bateman: I WANTED TO KILL ALL OF THEM!

DXIV: (takes a long drag) And I beat you to it (exhales) so this is where we are now.

Bateman: Yes it is (twists his pocket watch and an axe emerges in his hand) and I take it that you want me dead, correct?

DXIV: Well, considering that you want me dead and want me to fuck my girlfriend, of course.

Bateman: You know that this is treason.

DXIV: Of course.

Bateman: Pick your weapon.

DXIV: (draws a bowie knife) Already did.

Bateman swings his axe, catching the stool Daedaltheus is sitting on, causing him to jump off to the side, stabbing at Bateman. Bateman turns into the attack and hits Daedaltheus in the face with his elbow, knocking him back into the bar. Bateman swings his axe, catching the bar as Daedaltheus rolls out of the away and swipes at Bateman, but he slides back and then swings his axe again, catching Daedaltheus in the side.

Bateman: You are no match for a seasoned war veteran.

DXIV: You tend to forget (grabbing the axe and twisting the handle) I am too. (snaps the handle in half)

Bateman: Jesus fuck!

DXIV: You also forget (kicks Bateman in the chest into several table behind him, snapping his sternum in twain) I am a god with a god complex. I am a literal walking psychopath that lives solely for my own benefit and gain.

Bateman: What about Integra (coughs) and the damned ponies?

DXIV: (grabs his shirt collar and drags him into the alleyway behind Dorsia) Hey, I might be evil but I have a sense of justice. (throws him against a wall, breaking his spine) By the way, I mailed your tapes to the cops so they know about all of the sick shit you do for kicks and I also sent a copy to your secretary Jean, so good luck with that.

Bateman: Fuck you.

DXIV: (draws the knife) THIS (stab) IS (stab) WHAT (stab) YOU (stab) GET (stab) WHEN (stab) YOU (stab) FUCK (stab) WITH (stab) ME!

Bateman: (coughs up blood as blue and red police lights fill the night air)

DXIV: Wow that was cathartic. (looks down at the bleeding Bateman) I can understand why you do it but for me it’s all business and very little pleasure. (runs a bloodstained hand through his hair and takes a deep breath) You know maybe I’ll get into the whole musical experience.

Police Officer 1: Holy shit, is that Pat Bateman.

Police Officer 2: Looks like him, but who is that guy standing over him.

DXIV: No need for alarm officers, just taking care of some business.

Police Officer 1: Ah, shit it’s that Daedaltheus fucker.

DXIV: Don qua?

Police Officer 2: Yeah, Bateman warned us about you, asshole.
DXIV: So, I take it that you work for him, then.

Police Officer 1: Damn skippy.

DXIV: Look, it’s all one big misunderstanding (steps towards the officers as several DOZEN more officers loyal to Patrick Bateman arrive) Oh piss.

Police Officer 2: STOP!

Female Officer: In the name of love!

Female Officer 2: Before you break my heart!

DXIV: Fucking really!

Police Officer 3-119: LOOK OUT HE’S GOT A CHAINSAW!

DXIV: It’s a knife.

Officers: (fire for several minutes, each hitting Daedaltheus)

DXIV: Ow.

Meanwhile in the Waiting Room of Dorsia –

Fran: How’s he look?

Glados: Like blood soaked Swiss cheese.

Fran: Ew!

Glados: And the officers are now singing stop in the name of love while they pick his body up and are loading him into the back of a SWAT car.

Fran: Bateman’s got SWAT connections?

Glados: Apparently so, which means that’s where we’ve got to go to in order to get our boss back.

Fran: Yay. I love cops.

Glados: They make poor test subjects.

The pair sneaks out the back door past a bloodstain they assume once belonged to Patrick Bateman when Glados stopped and looked down the back of the alleyway, looking towards a strange woman wearing a frilly violet dress with dark purple hair and a single pink and violet stripe running through it. She looked towards the automaton Glados before turning the corner and vanishing into the night air.

Fran: Something wrong, Glados?

Glados: Nothing, just an error.

The pair walk to a 1973 XB GT Ford Falcon Coupe with a nitro injected supercharger, painted black and more than likely not legal in the United States, and begin to follow the SWAT van as it speeds off into the night.
Fran: Aren’t you worried about him?

Glados: Nah, he’s been through much worse. He once tried Peyote while trying to rob a train with Razor in 1879 crossing the New Mexico-Colorado border. Woke up in San Francisco two weeks later with no recollection of what happened and a warrant out for his arrest.

Fran: Glados…

Glados: Apparently, he entered some kind of gun slinging tournament in Wyoming…

Fran: Glados… um, Glados…

Glados: They never found the bodies of the thirty-six other contestants and supposedly he lit fire to a church claiming that real gods were coming to kill them all…

Fran: Glados…Glados…Glados…

Glados: The train, now that he just rode until the end of the line, where it picked up speed until it reach absurd velocity and wham, right through the station and into the rail yard causing one chain reaction after another…

Fran: Glados…

Glados: And the Texas Rangers with their heads strung together in conga-line fashion with their bodies hanging from every ledge he could find in Sacramento…

Fran: CAROLINE JOHNSON!

Glados: What?

Fran: (points) Is that normal?

The SWAT van is on fire with various members of Bateman’s loyal police force jumping out of while as the roof flies off.

DXIV: (standing in the burning van) CROSS THE RAINBOW BRIDGE OF ASGARD! (lighting strikes a police car) WHERE THE BOOMING HEAVENS ROAR! (lighting strikes an officer as he is impacted by a pipe wrench) YOU’LL BEHOLD IN BREATHLESS WONDER! (the van collides with another car as the two vehicles crash into the police station, starting a rather substantial fire)
Police Officer: (runs from the fire) We need everyone down here right now!

DXIV: (he walks from the fire) THE GOD OF THUNDER! (swings a pipe wrench and as it collides, lighting strikes the officer) MIGHTY THOR!

Glados: What the hell is that? (pulling up alongside the singing lunatic)

DXIV: My 48 inch pipe wrench imbued with a lighting plasmid, made in the underwater city of Rapture or as I like to call it: THE PIPE WRENCH OF THOR!

Glados: No, the blimp above us with the Red logo on it?

DXIV: (looks) Swan making an entrance.

Fran: I take it that that’s our cue to boogie?

DXIV: Damn straight!

Daedaltheus enters the car and the trio drives into a portal back to the New York City that shares the same universe as that of the Bunker.

The Brown Dog stands before the President of DC during a business council. He holds a Salmon in his paw and keeps hitting him upside the head with it while everyone else looks on in shock and confusion. The President is knocked out.

BD: And that’s for the New 52 (Whack) and that’s for casting Ben Affleck as Batman! (whack) and that’s for rushing for the Justice League movie to catch up with Marvel instead of taking your time and making sure your movies don’t suck!
DC Employee: Ummm…
BD: (whips around and points fish at him) The fuck you just say to me?!
DCE: I…just wanted to say that this isn’t DC Comics
BD: Huh? Bullshit, the sign out front said DC
DCE: Yes, but this is the DC Shoe Company

The Brown Dog looks around at all the charts and figures and posters. Sure enough, it’s all about shoes.
BD: Oh…my bad. Well why didn’t anyone speak up sooner?
Cortana: I did! I kept telling you we were at the wrong place! But you kept shouting “Fish Justice!”
BD: Well you know how passionate I get!
Cortana: You’re not passionate, you’re insane!
BD: One does not negate the other, in fact they go hand in hand.

The employees just look at the Brown Dog in fear as he seemingly argues with himself.
When suddenly they all jump up on the table and start singing.
DCE: These boots were made for walking, and that’s just what they’ll do. One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you!
BD: Da Fuck?
The Employees keep singing and dancing.
BD: Someone started a musical number and I didn’t get the invite? How rude.
Cortana: Musical numbers don’t just happen in this universe, we gotta investigate this.
BD: And why would I do that?

Cortana starts to explain before suddenly seizing up. Music starts playing and she begins to sing.
Cortana: We gonna rock down to electric avenue, and then we take it higher?!
BD: Oh great you too?
Cortana: Who is to blame in one country? Never can get to the one!
BD: I’ll take that as a yes…(Push’s mute on Cortana)

The Brown Dog looks out the window and sees countless people dancing and singing in the streets. He scowls.

BD: Oh sure, the whole Multiverse decides to sing and have fun without me? Hmmph, I’ll show them, I’ll show them all.
(Smiles Evily)

The Employees then stop singing and dancing and look back at the Brown Dog again.
DCE: What did you do to us?
BD: Nothing besides a little fish trauma
DCE: No, you did this, you must have. The news had a story on you some time ago.
BD: (Smirks as music starts playing) Let me tell you something buddy. (Get’s in the guy’s face as he starts dancing)

Well I don’t know what they’re talking about, I’m making my own decisions.
This new thing I’ve found ain’t gonna bring me down, I’m like a junky without an addiction
(Looks down at the Molotov Cocktail in his hands before smiling at the guy and throwing the bottle behind him where it blows up causing a woman to scream, he appears in front of her and gives her a flower)

BD: Mama don’t cry, I just want a stay high, like playing with danger or fear
(Everyone runs towards the exit away from him and the fire)
Everybody’s Walking, But Nobody’s talking
It looks a lot better from here
(Bursts out the doors of the raging inferno and into the chaos of the countless singing people in the streets)

BD: All my life I’ve been over the top, I don’t know what I’m doing, all I know is, I don’t wanna stop!
All fired up I’m gonna go till I drop, you’re either in or in the way, don’t make me, I don’t wanna stop!

The Brown Dog goes through the countless singing people in several different dimensions and ruining their music numbers, montage style. He creates an ice sheet under a group singing Beat it, causing them to slip, he punches a group singing “Hit me with your best shot” in the face, destroys every major road in his way so that those singing “Dancing in the street” have nowhere to dance, and he sends anyone doing the Harlem Shake into the phantom zone
They all glare at the Brown Dog before joining in on other songs that they can partake in. The Brown Dog just sighs and shakes his head

BD: Why don’t they ever listen to me, it’s just a one way conversation?
Nothing they say is gonna set me free, don’t need no mental masturbation.
(He teleports into the God of War Universe and sees Zues and the others singing “Staying Alive”)
Too many religions for only one god, I don’t need another savior
(Snaps his paws and Kratos appears and slaughters them all while singing “Symphony of Destruction”. Brown Dog then appears in front of a bunch of cops singing “Bad Boys”)

Don’t try to change my mind, you know I’m one of a kind
(changes all their uniforms into ballerina tutus causing them to start singing Dancing Queen)
Ain’t gonna change my bad behavior
(Smirks and then proceeds to pie a bunch of stoners singing Bob Marley songs in the face)

BD: All my life I’ve been over the top, I don’t know what I’m doing, all I know is, I don’t wanna stop!
All fired up I’m gonna go till I drop, you’re either in or in the way, don’t make me, I don’t wanna stop!
(He then goes about interrupting every musical number he sees by tear gassing the crowds and tasering those who keep singing)
All my life I’ve been over the top, I don’t know what I’m doing, all I know is, I don’t wanna stop!
All fired up I’m gonna go till I drop, you’re either in or in the way, don’t make me, I don’t wanna stop!

With that he stops singing and looks at exactly what he has done. It’s not exactly the destruction levels he caused during St. Patrick’s Day in that other universe, but it still is beautiful.
He then notices Cortana silently screaming at him in his HUD so he unmutes her.

BD: Hey what’s up?
Cortana: The hell did you just do?
BD: Humanitarian work
Cortana: Be serious
BD: Hey I only caused one fire!
Cortana: Ugh…
BD: Well excuse me, the musical number demanded I do it…speaking of which, Why the hell was I singing? Why was everyone singing?
Cortana: I don’t know! I couldn’t stop either. It’s like some force compelled me to. Something fishy is going on here
CSI Miami Theme: YEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!
Cortana: Oh Come On!
BD: Ha, because I was slapping people with a fish. So wait, something out there caused me to do a music number against my will?
Cortana: It seems that way, and we went through quite a few universes. This is happening everywhere.
BD: Damn it! Why didn’t I think of that? (Scowls) Someone beat me to it! And they didn’t make me apart of their scheme! They’ve dicked with the wrong dog!
Cortana: Does that mean you’ll look into this?
BD: Hell ya, I gotta figure out how this was done. I mean, I know how I would’ve done it, but as far as I know I still have that little Magoffin
Cortana: And what is that?
BD: It’s a little thing called mind your own bee’s wax, but still, whoever or whatever did this has great power, and I must friend them on Facebook!
Cortana: Well with something this big, I don’t know how we can track the source.
BD: I do, but it requires me to empty my mind in a place of tranquility.
Cortana: Emptying your mind shouldn’t be that hard.
BD: Ha ha ha…it’s true
(Freezes up)
Cortana: What’s wrong?
BD: My Rarity Whoreness Sense just went off
Cortana: …I’m sorry, your what?
BD: My Rarity Whoreness Sense, apparently she’s being slutty again
Cortana: How is that even a thing?
BD: (Ignores her) Well, looks like it’s time for the Brown Dog of Forced Abstinence to pay a visit
He smiles and chuckles evily before teleporting away, as is his custom

Meanwhile in the Brown Dog’s Secret Prison
Michael Bay starts singing and dancing with the Disco Ostriches.
MB: ‘Cause I’m TNT! I’m Dynamite! TNT! And I’ll win the fight! TNT! I’m the Power Load! TNT! WATCH ME EXPLOOOOOODDDEEE!!!!!

George Lucas is singing as well
GL: No I didn’t have to make them blow! What happened to the Star Wars that I used to know?!

Tommy Wiseau is singing in Dubstep

And Caine is singing, What else?
Caine: YYYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Author's Note

Status: unedited

F*** IT I'M TAKING ANOTHER WEEK OFF!!!

The Tempting Terror (guest chapter by Browndog77)

As Rarity left Jason’s room with Spike and Redheart she couldn’t help but feel a little worried.

“Do you think it’s wise to leave Twilight alone with him, you know, considering their past together?” she said aloud to Spike. Spike just raised an eyebrow at her in an incredulous manner, courtesy of taking lessons from Applejack. Rarity on the other hand continued on without noticing. “I mean, I love Twilight, but she still may not be mentally sound, and you saw how obsessed she used to be with him. And Jason, he’s just lying there, hurt and helpless and unable to move or say no.” Her eyes had a faraway fantasy look to them now, “She could take him now against his will and finally get what I’ve… I mean, she’s been after, and no one would ever know.” Nurse Redheart understandably cringed at those thoughts.

“Ms. Rarity, we’re right outside this door, nothing like that is going to happen, besides I’m not so sure it’s Twilight we should be worrying about” she said pointedly.

“Why whatever do you mean, who else would do…such…a…thing?” the implications of what she just did not two minutes ago came crashing back to her, and with it that nagging feeling of guilt. She had just tried to take advantage of Jason while he was near death, and sang that trashy music, and how had she even sung that song for that matter? She’d never heard it before. Added to that came embarrassment and shame, and it didn’t help that both Nurse Redheart and Spike were giving her looks as if to say “This bitch for real?” She began to sweat nervously and look around, like a filly who was caught with her hoof in the cookie jar.

“Umm…I…uhh…” she stammered while Redheart and Spike just stared at her without saying a word. “Gaahhh….BATHROOM!!!” she yelled and ran off before the situation could get even more embarrassing. Once she rounded the corner she slowed down and continued walking with her head down.

“Am I a bad pony?” she asked herself aloud. “No, no! I just had a moment of weakness is all, I mean he’s hurt and needs love and care to get better, and that’s all I’ve ever wanted to give him, shame on him for not accepting in the first place.” Her flimsy justification calmed her down just enough to dissipate the embarrassment. “That’s it, I was just trying to love him back to life, and got carried away…yeah, that’s right. I’m good.” She smiled nervously as if hoping someone would believe that lie, even though the hallway she was in was completely empty.

“Surely they’ll all understand when...” Rarity stopped speaking as she found a note on the ground with her name on it “Huh? What’s this?” She opened up the piece of paper and inside in blood red lettering was a horrifying message:

NO DICKS FOR YOU

“WHAT?!” she looked up angrily. “WHO WROTE THIS?! WHAT FILTHY DISGUSTING PERVERT WROTE THIS?!!!” the irony of that statement was completely lost on her, as her shouts echoed through the hallway as she looked for the pony responsible. Speaking of the hallway, she just now realized that it was very dimly lit with the far end almost in complete darkenss. The brightest light was directly above her and even that was flickering and dim.

“Odd, I don’t remember it being this dark,” she thought to herself. She then turned around and found that the corridor she had just come from did not exist anymore as a blank wall now covered it. She was more than taken aback by this, “Wha…but how di…”

Suddenly, someone whistling a tune could be heard. The song was haunting and quick, and it seemed to echo all around her. Rarity’s anger at the note retreated in favor of dread.

“Wh-Who’s there?!” she shouted to the darkness, “Show yourself!” She looked around as the whistling continued relentlessly, and then she saw it.

Out of the darkness, about fifteen feet away from her, she could see the silhouette of some sort of quadruped.

“Wh-who are you?” she asked now more than a little freaked out and backed herself up, only to hit the dead end wall that was not there a second ago. The whistling then picked up in speed and tempo as the figure started to move. Each step it took the lights began to dim away to darkness, only giving her glimpses, but they were more than enough.

Rarity caught a glimpse of the dark reflective surface of sunglasses, “No…” she saw a tan colored canine paw step into the waning light, “You’re not real!” and lastly she saw the incredibly creepy smile she had tried and failed to forget from a few nights ago.

“No No No NO NO NO!” she screamed as she turned around beat on the wall. With her back turned she heard the whistling getting louder and closer as it advanced.

“NOT LIKE THIS! NOT LIKE THIS!” she cried.

“Umm…Ma’am, what are you doing?” came a scruffy sounding voice.

Rarity opened her eyes and realized that it was bright again and that the whistling had stopped. Not only that, but she was pounding on the Mare’s Restroom door and an elderly janitor with a mustache, blue cap and mop was looking at her funny.

“Ohh…I’m…I…just need to use the restroom badly?” she chuckled nervously at this, still somewhat creeped out by what just happened.

“Hmmph…try pulling the door, might work better,” the scruffy janitor said and pointed to the Pull sign above the handle.

“Oh, of course! Thank you! Ha ha ha!” she opened the door and ran inside immediately, leaving the Janitor to mumble something about crazy mares.

Rarity, still confused as all hell, ran up to the sink and splashed water all over her face.

“What was that all about?” she said aloud breathing heavily. “Am I going crazy?”

She then took a good look at herself in the mirror. She saw the same perfectly stylized mane, the same shining blue eyes, and the same perfect face she had come to know and love. She smiled calming down a bit.

“Of course not, I’m still young, sexy, and alive. That dog isn’t real… I’m fine.” She leant her hooves on either side of the mirror and sighed. “I’m fine…” Suddenly her reflection darted out and wrapped its hooves around her throat, “I don’t think so…” it said menacingly.

Rarity was shocked and scared out of her wits, by this turn of events but found she couldn’t even move as the Doppelganger continued to berate her.

“We just tried to rape a comatose alien with a musical number…does that sound…Fine?” Without waiting for an answer the reflection Rarity began choking her counterpart and laughing evily. Rarity gagged and gasped for air as the white hooves around her throat squeezed harder. She began to see black spots and tried to back away. As she did, she noticed that the hooves around her throat didn’t lead back into the mirror, but rather were coming up from below. They were her own hooves. Realizing this, she let go of her throat and gasped in some much needed oxygen.

After she had caught her breath she looked back to the mirror above the sink and only saw her normal reflection. She tapped the glass just to be sure, and just to be doubly sure, she pretended to leave, only to turn around quickly trying to catch it off guard. The reflection was still doing normal reflection things.

She then sighed and sat down and held her head in her hooves.

“Oh, who am I kidding, I am a bad pony,” She said sadly. “I go and do that to him after all the pain of yesterday, even after he rejected me. *Sigh* All this craziness is just my guilt getting the better of me. I should go and apologize to Twilight, Spike and that Nurse… and Jason when he finally wakes up.”

She stood up and looked to the sky, which she couldn’t see since the bathroom ceiling was in the way, but she continued on regardless. “I swear I will no longer try to seduce Jason Morgan…” she stopped looking to the sky/ceiling and continued “…for now at least.” She then began to ramble on to herself, “ Who knows what the future holds, surely he could change his mind. In the meantime perhaps one of those orderlies wouldn’t mind taking me and…” she was cut off as she heard the whistling again. Horrified she turned around and came face to face with The Brown Dog who’s face was inches away from hers.

“TONIGHT YOU!” it said fast and creepily.

“AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!”

She screamed so loudly that the entire hospital heard her before promptly blacking out.

The Brown Dog then inched closer to her and put his paw on her head where a strange ethereal glow appeared. He then walked into the mirror above the sink before losing his s*** and began laughing like crazy.

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Oh man, that was funny as hell.” A cool female voice that only he could hear responded, and he answered back.

“Well she did have it coming, Indulging in her whoreishness would only lead to s*** we don’t want Razor writing,” He then smiled wickedly, as was his custom.

Author's Note

status: edited

This is the only chapter you're getting this week. :pinkiehappy:

This story is brought to you by

Windmills!

Also check out my good friend DaedaltheusXIV's introduction blog here. You all may know him as the narrator on the dramatic reading channel we had a while back and he also writes the chapters and dialogue for Risen Flag. So yeah... I really do encourage you to check him out. Click anywhere in this paragraph to take you to his introduction blog.

Author's Note

Also if you thought I was done with these joke chapters. You would be wrong. :pinkiehappy:

LOOK AT THIS PICTURE

From Left to Right:

Queen Chrysalis

Sombra

Joseph Curwen

Risen Flag

Trixie

Haypennywise

Slenderpony

Screwloose

LOOK AT THIS BEAUTIFUL MOTHERF*CKING PICTURE!!!

JUST LOOK AT IT!!!!

LOOK AT IT!!!

LOOK AT IT!!!

LOOK AT HOW BEAUTIFUL IT IS!!!!

IT

IS

BEAUTIFUL!!!!!

This new title card comes to us courtesy of Blazewings thunder. Whom some of you might remember as the contest winner from the last story's fanart contest. Look at her page and praise her awesomeness. Also check out her Devinatart page here.

So yeah, go and tell her how awesome she is because she deserves all of it.

Also to whom among you it may concern. This story does have a theme song. It's this.

FINE I'LL GET BACK TO THE MAIN STORY

*reads comments from last chapter

"WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!" NONE OF YOU MADE ANY COMMENTS FOR THE STARCRAFT CHAPTER!!!!!!!!!!! (Except for like five of you, you know who you are, and to you guys, this message is not for you and you will instead receive my salute

*Fires Party Cannon through the fourth wall and hits you in the face with party stuffs, 1 cupcake, and 1 cinnamon roll courtesy of Razor*

Anyway, now back to the message) I AM SO DISAPPOINTED IN YOU COMMENTERS!!!!!"

"What!? Just because Razor for once decided to focus on the side story for ONE LITTLE chapter you decide to ignore it! Just because Razor decided that maybe, JUST MAYBE now he could have a little extra fun with the story and add a bit of levity to it! YOU ALL THINK YOU CAN JUST LEAVE HIM HANGING BY A VINE!!!!"

"THAT

IS

JUST

NOT

COOL!"

"YOU KNOW! Razor does a lot for you with this story, he really, REALLY, REALLY, I don't think you can understand JUST HOW REALLY does. But enough about him, lets focus on the real victims of this lost chapter. The side story characters.

"You know, it's come to my attention since I can read all of your comments, that not a lot of you care about the side story. WHY IS THAT!? Sure, Razor let them in for his own comic amusement, and to make the story more interesting, and because he needs them (Yes, he does in fact need them), and because he thought it would be fun, BUT WHY DO YOU ALL NOT LIKE THEM!!!!???"

"Sure Razor isn't giving them much to do right now, sure they can easily be skipped over right NOW, but that doesn't mean you have to just leave them hanging like that whenever Razor does decide to focus on them!"

"The people in the side story do A LOT for Razor, they REALLY do, and when he decides to be a nice person and show them a little love by giving them their own little special chapter just for fun, what do you guys give them?"

"NOTHING!!!! YOU GIVE THEM NOTHING!!!!!"

"Sniff..... sniff.... Why would you do that? Why would you do that to your fellow Fimfiction friends.... sniff.... I just don't get it. They all put a lot of work into their characters and their little bits to the story, just like Razor puts a lot of work into the main story, and you don't show them any love for that. They are gonna become integral to the main story really really soon, and Razor is just trying to get you all to warm up to them being there. So why would you-"

PINKIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Oop. Still in trouble. Gotta go. Bye. See ya."

*Zips away*

*Comes back*

"Oh, and I do appreciate you talking to me in the comments though, I'll- OH NO HE'S COMING!!!"

*Zip*

-PERSPECTIVE SHIFT: Twilight Sparkle-

You are Twilight Sparkle, and you are still standing there staring at the door trying to figure out what you should do right now. All the while, the not at all real and completely nonexistant Ghost of Sombra is floating next to you smiling (you want to say evilly.... yes, evilly) evilly at you.

What do you do?

-Side Story-

-The Dalek Flagship The Caesar-

*The most epic battle of Starcraft 2 that any human, Dalek, or Multiform (in Swimming Dalek's case) has ever see is taking place right now which we will unfortunately never get to see because SOME PEOPLE decided they didn't give a crap about the side story and didn't give any comments on it*

The Bridge

You people are insane... I'm going to my room! Call me when something interesting happens!

Swimming Dalek: ALL OF YOU ARE INSANE! I'm going to my room! Call me if and when something interesting finally happens."

Antares: Yes, Commander. I obey.

Control/Computer room (I really do need a layout of this ship)

*All of the other hackers, BRP, and now Registered Anonymous, who tried to hack into the game and join but was swiftly kicked by both of them, are all just standing there watching in complete and total awe as the game rages with neither side taking any significant advantages over the other.

Suddenly, one of the other computer screens switches to Grey Rebl's face as he contacts them.*

Grey Rebl: Hey guys, did I miss anything?

Author's Note

status: unedited

Oh and by the way, Pinkie's rant there had actual truth behind it. I am very disappointed in you all right now.

To the few of you who did make comments though. You have my thanks for being brave ones. You know who you all are.

Bonus Chapter: Kiro's Cinnamon Roll

Kiro: Pinkie, I know you're busy, but you promised me a cinnamon roll. Could you get that to me at the soonest convenient opportunity?

"*GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*"

(And yes, she did pronounce every syllable of that, even the exclamation points.)

*Hair suddenly deflates.*

"OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH GOSH OH MY WHAT DO I DO WHAT DO I DO WHAT DO I DO!!!!!?????"

"HOW COULD I FORGET KIRO! JUST HOW!!!!!!??????"

TELL ME HOW!!!!?????

"HE'S THE EDITOR, HOW COULD I FORGE-"

*Sudden strike of inspiration hits like a cupcake filled shot from the party canon right into her waiting mouth, which she then proceeds to eat and swallow whole before coming up with a brilliant idea. Also, hair inflates again.*

"Wait, I KNOW!"

-Kiro comes home after a long day of doing...... whatever awesome things he does during the day, to find this-

*Sudden banner drops from the ceiling.*

THANK YOU KIRO!!!

I'm so sorry I forgot

And now, to everyone reading this story, and by extension this chapter, lets all now take a moment to appreciate my awesome editor for this story, Kiro0613, a man who painstakingly reads through every single chapter I write (of everything I write, no really, he does), for the sole purpose of pointing out all my mistakes to helping to improve this story and thus, help me become a better writer. If it weren't for him, the thrice weekly chapters I write for this story would have so many grammar and spelling errors that you would want to stab your eyes out (lolz not really, but still.....).

So for what it is worth. Kiro0613, we appreciate you.

APPRECIATE HIM!!!!!!!!!

Author's Note

status: edited

An ode to Tatsurou

This..... is an ode to Tatsurou.

Who is Tatsurou you might ask? Well to put it simply, he is, and has been for the last several updates, ALWAYS the first person to comment on this story..... Always.... No matter what.... How he does this is beyond me, but.... He does it. Yeah...

So... in honor of this guy who always manages to comment first, I've written a short little ode for him that will be performed by both me and Pinkie Pie.

My text will be in bold.

"And mine will not. Hehe..."

Right. So anyway, without further adieu. This is:

Our ode to Tatsurou

*ahem...

Tatsurou!

"Kaneda!"

Tatsurou!

"Kaneda!"

Tatsurou!

"Kaneda!"

Tatsurou!

"Kaneda!"

Tatsurou!

"Kaneda!"

Tatsurou!

"Kaneda!"

And that concludes our ode to Tatsurou.

"We hope you liked it. And if not. Then here, have a cupcake."

*Pinkie Pie tries to reach through the fourth wall to hand Tatsurou a cupcake, but is stopped by RazortheAwesome.*

Now now, Pinkie, remember what I told you?

"Do not cross the boundaries separated by the fourth wall."

Yes. Now do you remember why?

"Explosive decompression?"

Yes. Yes Pinkie Pie.... Explosive decompression.

Author's Note

status: unedited

Also for those of you who don't get the reference.

Bonus Chapter: The Side Story Characters Sing Their Theme Song

This chapter is to show appreciation to all the authors of the side story. I'll admit, it was the most insane idea I ever had letting you all into this story, but you know what, it was absolutely worth it. So this is for you guys. I hope you like it.

Swimming Dalek = Green
Registered Anonymous = Red
Gordon Freebrony = Orange
Grey Rebl = Grey
BRP = Brown
Bronze Statue = Blue
All = Black

Click Here to Play

My name is Registered Anonymous,
Sanity is for the weak,
I'll bake you cookies (Uwah!!),
With my Ultra Hitting Nine Iron,
I'll whack all I don't like away.

I'm BRP,
The survivor with a hacking AI,
And no, I won't tell you what my initials stand for.

Yes we are!!
We are here!! The most kick ass warriors in the multi-verse,
We even take down Outer Gods,
We're the Wake Up Special Squad,
Yes we are!!
We'll show you what we got,
You better kneel before our awesomeness.

Tokusentai!
Tokusentai!
Tokusentai!
Tokusentai!

Call me Gordon Freebrony,
No not Gordon Freepony,
Proud member of Starfleet,
Shall I pet you with my favorite crowbar?
And by "pet" I don't mean a pat on the head.

Grey Rebl, that's me,
Head of the AIA,
Just watch we'll take you out.

Don't forget me, Bronze Statue,
Engineer and mega hacker,
Let me show you what I can do with machines.

Yes we are!!
We've are here!! The most kick-ass warriors in the multi-verse,
We're the best of the best, The Wake Up Special Squad,
Yes we are!!
We've decided on chocolate chip cookies for dessert,
And we won't share any with you.

Tokusentai!
Tokusentai!
Tokusentai!
Tokusentai!

My name is Swimming Dalek,
The multi-form from Kalporos,
You'd better give me all you got,
I'll fight for the sake of peace,
I don't care who you are,
I'll defeat you (TRANSFORM!!)

You should be honored,
To meet my reformed Dalek army,
How about now I show you,
My dance of joy?

Yes we are!!
We are here!! The most kick ass warriors in the multi-verse,
We like ponies and we do know why,
Yes we are!!
Screw one on one! We fight as a team,
Since that's nice and fair,
Warriors are fair,
You'd better remember that.

Tokusentai!
Tokusentai!
Tokusentai!
Tokusentai!

*Awesome Kick-ass instrumental bit*

Yes we are!!
We are here!! The most kick-ass warriors in the multi-verse,
We even take down Outer Gods,
We're the Wake Up Special Squad,
Yes we are!!
We'll show you what we got,
You better kneel before our awesomeness!

Tokusentai!
Tokusentai!
Tokusentai!
Tokusentai!

Tokusentai!
Tokusentai!
Tokusentai!
To-ku-sen-tai!

Author's Note

status: unedited

You all should really watch this

Hey guys, RazortheAwesome here again. Forgive me for not speaking in bold like I usually do, but for this chapter I didn't feel like it's necessary.

Anyway, remember that dramatic reading channel that my friend DaedaltheusXIV and I had a while back that we stopped doing because college had ended and we were no longer living in the same vicinity... or the same state. Well, we're not returning, but we are lending out voices to something entirely new.

I'm sure that some of you are familiar with BrownDog77, who is probably best known to most of you at this point as one of the two authors of the recent "Game of Twits" addition to the story (the other being DaedaltheusXIV himself). Well, he has this project that he's been working on with his friend for a while now, and now Daedaltheus and I are a part of it too.

What is this project you ask? Well....

So yeah... you all should subscribe to EffectiveKill's channel right now and be on the lookout for upcoming episodes. Daedaltheus and I will be in it, and yes, we are regular characters. :pinkiehappy:

Also you all should really check out EffectiveKill's Dead Space 2 Abridged since 1.) It's funny as all hell, and 2.) It leads directly into Dead Space 3 Abridged which Daedaltheus and I will be appearing in, but you all should watch it anyway because both Browndog and I said you should. :pinkiehappy:

But yeah, subscribe and be on the lookout for that. The first episode is almost done and will be released soon, though more than likely you'll probably hear something from me when it is.

So yeah.... keep being awesome.

Oh, and please leave all your comments relating to the story in the previous chapter. Thanks. :twilightsmile:

Author's Note

status: unedited

No chapter this week, sorry

Sorry everyone, but due to both the nature, and the content of this next chapter, its going to take a little bit more than a day (which is usually how long it takes me to write these chapters) to write it all down, so yeah... its not going to be ready today. Sorry... You'll see what I mean when the chapter comes out, but for now... Yeah... Sorry... its not gonna happen today

There is however, good news. The first episode of Dead Space 3 Abridged is almost done and will be released some time this week (depending on when Browndog77 finishes editing it), so if you haven't subscribed to Effectivekill's channel yet, I would do that cause its gonna be out soon, and take it from me, its funny as f*** :pinkiehappy:

But yeah, that aside. This week's chapter isn't going to be done today. Sorry...

Side story authors, if you are reading this, then use this time wisely. I'm expecting a lot of things from you guys, so yeah... You all better get yourselves moving. I don't care how many comments you have to write or how often you have to respond to each other. Start collaborating and get s*** done. I'm REALLY (and I can't emphasize that enough) counting on you guys for whats coming next. So yeah...

Author's Note

status: unedited