It was a veritable monsoon by the time Rarity and Fluttershy reached the gazebo. The round wooden structure stood before them like a holy sanctuary in the middle of the relentless downpour. The mares' hooves kicked up red mulch and brown globules of mud as they galloped madly towards dry shelter. Once they arrived, their collective breaths cascaded all around them in a fit of dainty, wheezing groans.
"Ohhhhhh... for all that is most sacred!" Rarity wailed, looking with disgust at her soiled, discolored hooves. "The one day in a week I decide to have a pony pedi, and mother nature's mood takes a turn for the worst!"
"I'm so, so sorry, Rarity," Fluttershy stammered, mimicking her friend's twitchy motions as she too shook the fresh muck off her yellow hooves and wingtips. The wooden paneling that comprised the floor of the gazebo was dry as a bone, and the pegasus did her awkward best to keep it that way, flinging most of the moisture in the direction of the wet, wet world surrounding them both. "I should have known that the weather would be this awful, then I would have rescheduled our weekly get-together at the spa. After all, every pegasus in Ponyville is given an update on the weather schedule so that we might lend a hoof with cloud-clearing when it's required."
"Oh please, none of that, darling. T'wasn't your fault." Rarity smiled gently at her companion. "I'm subscribed to the same weather update as you are, and—quite frankly—this goes against the current schedule." She cast a venomous frown towards the afternoon's gray drizzle that persisted beyond the roof of the gazebo. "It would seem as though somepony is not quite with the program today, otherwise this outing would have been far more properly beautiful."
"I've enjoyed it so far, for what it's worth."
"And so have I, but really—would it kill the ponies of this town to maintain some proper order and decency for a change?" Rarity trotted in a tight circle with the small amount of space that the gazebo afforded her. "You would think that with all the local ursas and diamond dogs and parasprites and hydras that this town has to contend with, the locals would at least cherish being able to keep the weather under control."
"I... uhm..." Fluttershy gave a nervous smile. "I actually like the rain... even if it's kind of unexpected..."
Rarity turned towards her with a quizzical expression. "Oh?"
"Yes..." Fluttershy nodded as she found a wooden seat, curled her legs underneath her, and sat down. "Did you know that I had never experienced a rain shower until I was age nine?"
"Really? Age nine?" Rarity found a seat across from her friend. The rain pitter-pattered steadily around the two mares as they absorbed themselves in each other's words. "That was sometime after you got your cutie mark, was it not?"
"Mmmhmmm..." Fluttershy nodded. "I had decided to take my flight lessons much closer to the ground. Ohhhh, I was so in love with nature down here..." Her cheeks went rosy as she spoke. "All the cute little furry animals and the water fowl and the buzzing insects—and every one of them living in perfect harmony too! Then, when the rain came, I marveled at how it fed the plants, which then provided nutrients to the animals and just made everything so... beautiful and marvelous. Does that make any sense?"
"Well, I suppose it does." Rarity leaned forward. "But how could you not have experienced rain before? Cloudsdale is full of weather factories, is it not?"
"Just because we pegasi often make the rain doesn't mean we get to experience it," Fluttershy said.
"Remarkable..." Rarity leaned back with a curious grin. "I had never thought of it that way. You did live above the clouds and not below them, I suppose..."
"I remember my very first rainstorm," Fluttershy said, smiling as she looked out upon the sheets and sheets of rain. "I had just sang a family of field mice to sleep. Then I heard the leaves shaking and the wind whistling through the high grass. I watched from the porch of the flight camp, and I was so... so very much in awe. The grayness of a storm isn't really so dismal, so long as you know that the rain is only meant to clean and rejuvenate the earth. And besides... the sound of falling water is so soothing and relaxing and peaceful and—"
The air exploded around them. The gazebo resonated with the bellicose rumble of thunder.
"Eeeep!" Fluttershy appeared to shrink in size as her limbs scrunched in towards her trembling body. She looked up towards the sky with pinprick pupils of pure fear. "Except f-f-f-for when th-th-that happens!"
"Oh, Fluttershy, you're such a dear." Rarity smiled and trotted across the gazebo to sit by her side. "Never you worry. I'm quite certain the storm won't last for too long. We'll wait it out, then make our way swiftly to my Boutique. It shouldn't take very long to get there in a dry spell. Why, it's only a quick gallop beyond that hill."
"What hill?"
"Why..." Rarity pointed past the thickening curtain of rain. "Beyond that hill over there."
Fluttershy squinted to see. "You mean the hill where Twilight is running through the rain?"
"I beg your pardon?!" Rarity shot up straight, gazing hard through the foggy precipitation. "Good heavens! You're right! My, what amazing eyes you have, Fluttershy!"
"Uhm..." Fluttershy bit her lip and blushed. "Last december, I was able to spot Angel hiding deep in the snow, twenty yards from my cottage, when he was sick with the bunny flu and needed to have his temperature taken."
"Twilight!" Rarity stood up and waved her forelimbs dramatically. "Twilight, over here!" She shone her horn like a bright, blue beacon and waved harder. "Hurry! Before you catch cold!"
"Angel was really hard to deal with that week. I sent a message to Nurse Redheart for an emergency house call because I needed help getting the thermometer out of him."
"Fluttershy, darling, could it wait a second? Twilight!"
A series of plodding hoofsteps drew closer and closer. Panting, dripping from mane to tail, Twilight Sparkle scrambled up onto the middle of the gazebo, carrying a rain-soaked pair of purple saddlebags over her figure. "Brrrrrr!" she shook like a lavender bag of massage pillows. "Those raindrops were like f-falling icicles! Lemme t-tell you..."
"Goodness, Twilight! What on earth were you thinking?! Frolicking like a newborn otter out here amidst such a downpour?!"
"I c-could ask the s-same of you tw-two!"
"At least we had the good sense to find cover immediately! Here..." Rarity leaned the tip of her horn forward. "Come closer. I think I know a basic heating spell—"
"Nevermind that!" Twilight gasped, fumbling suddenly over the straps of her saddlebags. "Help me get this stuff off!"
Fluttershy stepped down from the seat and assisted Twilight as best as she could. "What's so important about what you're carrying?"
"I was making a personal delivery..." Twilight grunted, sliding out of the heavy, damp canvas containers. "I got these crystals from Zecora's and was hoping to bring it back to the library. As soon as I saw the rainstorm forming, I knew that I had to hurry!"
"Crystals?" Fluttershy's face scrunched in confusion. "But why would you need—?"
"Oh, thank goodness!" Twilight exclaimed, having finally unclasped the bags to look inside. "The moisture didn't get past the outer lining! The crystals aren't water-damaged. Whew! What a relief..."
"Fluttershy presents a good question," Rarity stated. "What, pray tell, are these crystals for?"
"They're made of rare elements mined only from the deep caves of the southern Zebrahara. They're famous for their mana conductivity. If I position them just right, I should be able to create a communication array that would allow anyone in Ponyville to send coded messages instantaneously to the Crystal Empire!" Twilight smiled proudly. "As you well know, Spike can only send messages to Princess Celestia. But, with these crystals, I can relay a frequency that can be picked up by ponies up north just as quickly! The structure of the Crystal Palace would act as a huge antenna!"
"Wow, Twilight, that sounds... erm..." Fluttershy fidgeted.
"What?" Twilight smiled in spite of her cold shivers. "I'm just bridging the gap, you know? This way, I can send messages at any time to Shining Armor!" She blinked, then winced. "Erm... and to Cadance as well. Shining Armor and Cadance."
Rarity was already snickering in a manner that was only borderline lady-like. "Honestly, Twilight, you really can't let your B.B.B.F.F. catch a break, can you, darling?"
"And what's that supposed to mean?!" Twilight frowned. "I just want to be a responsible sister! That's all! Family is just as important as friendship! With this crystal array I'm building, I'll get to touch base with my brother and his fiancee at any time!"
"But they're married. Cadance is no longer his—"
"Wife!" Twilight spat. "My brother and my wife! I-I mean my brother and my fiancee-in-law—I mean... darn it...!"
Rarity and Fluttershy giggled.
"It's not funny!" Twilight growled, red in the face as she slicked back her damp mane. "Seriously, girls! This is really important to me and all you c-can do... is... is... ah... ahhh-Achooo!" She sneezed violently.
Rarity gasped. "I knew it! Look at what this inclement weather has done to you! Now, stay still and allow me to cast my warming spell already—"
"What—NO!" Twilight jerked. "Don't do it! Don't cast a spell of any kind!"
"Alright! Most certainly!" Rarity also jolted. She gulped and gave a nervous smile. "Though, may I ask, why not?"
Twilight hugged the saddlebags full of crystals. "These are very... very sensitive to magical currents! The reason I was so eager to g-get them to the library was because I needed to put them in anti-magic stasis! Who knows what the slightest spell might do to them! They could shatter!"
"My goodness..." Fluttershy cooed.
"Well, then, I suppose depending on your far more gifted talents in sorcery to teleport us to a drier location is out of the question," Rarity muttered.
"I'm sorry, girls," Twilight remarked with wet, drooping ears. "I'm afraid we're stuck he... he... he—ahhh-ahhhCHOO!" She sneezed again, almost dropping the crystals. She exhaled with relief when she saw that they were still whole, though her shivers made them rattle.
"Well, there must be something we can do to make you feel better!" Rarity said.
"I think I can help," Fluttershy said. "Twilight, if you wouldn't mind Rarity holding your crystals for a while?"
"Huh?" Twilight gulped and glanced over her quivering shoulder. "Er, n-no. I guess not. Wh-what do you have in mind?"
"Have a seat," Fluttershy remarked, pointing towards one of the wooden ledges lining the gazebo's inner circumference. Twilight hoofed Rarity the bags, then trotted up onto the seat, leaving wet hoofprints across the paneled floor. "Now sit still and relax," the pegasus insisted.
"Uhm. Okay," Twilight squatted with her legs folded underneath her. "Though I don't see h-how this is going to—Hello." She blinked, suddenly at the receiving end of a feathery hug.
"I'm sorry," Fluttershy obligatorily murmured. She had squatted down directly in front of Twilight and was stretching her wings forward so that her yellow feathers folded around the unicorn, coming together tightly behind her lavender flank. "I know this must seem uncomfortable, but I promise it will make you feel warm."
"Uhhhh..." Twilight glanced at the wings wrapped tightly around her. She breathed easily, managing a slight smile. "You know what, I-I'm starting to feel better already! Thank you, Fluttershy. It's... k-kind of like I'm wrapped in a soft, feathery blanket." She chuckled nervously.
"It's a trade pegasus secret," Fluttershy said with a warm smile. "Since the ancient days when Commander Hurricane ruled the skies, pony messengers used this technique to keep each other from freezing as they paused to bed in the clouds overnight."
"You know, I think I once read up on that," Twilight said, settling her limbs within the warm toastiness of Fluttershy's embrace. "Also, just months ago, there was an article in Equestria Daily. Supposedly Soarin' and Fleetfoot of the Wonderbolts did the same thing to avoid hypothermia when they got lost from the rest of their flight team during a horrible blizzard."
"Erm..." Fluttershy suddenly squirmed.
Twilight's ears twitched as she took on a curious expression. "What?"
"That's... not how most pegasi remember that story, Twilight," Fluttershy said.
"Huh?"
"Do you ever pause in reading books or newspapers to check out the local gossip magazines?" Rarity spoke with a humored tone. She set down the bags of crystals and trotted over to the pair. "The rescue team that found Soarin' and Fleetfoot had dug them up from a snow-covered lake house where they had been buried overnight. Long story short, it was certainly more than wing-hugs that warmed up those two."
"I don't get it." Twilight glanced over her shoulder. "What lake house?"
Rarity stifled an intense snicker.
Twilight frowned. "What?!"
Fluttershy cleared her throat. When Twilight glanced at her, she asked, "Are you certain this isn't... too awkward?"
"Awkward?" Twilight blinked at their muzzles nearly touching. "No, not really. But... what if... y'know... I have to sneeze again?"
"I hope you wouldn't mind if you aimed over my shoulder," Fluttershy said with a nervous smile.
"Consider it a done deal."
"Good. Soon, you should be warmer than a bug under a—" Once more thunder echoed from above them. "Yaaaah!" Fluttershy lunged forward, clinging to Twilight as it was her turn to tremble.
The unicorn wheezed for breath. "N-now who is n-needing the hug, huh?"
"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" Fluttershy stammered. "I know I-I shouldn't be afraid of the lightning! But I just can't help myself!"
Twilight chuckled. "But it's nothing to be afraid of, Fluttershy! Lightning's nothing more than the result of varying temperature differences causing the atmosphere to become polarized, so that electrostatic charges randomly cascade through the plasma channels in the air with energy that explodes six times hotter than the surface of the sun!"
Thunder cracked. Fluttershy yelped and buried her face in Twilight's chest.
Rarity trotted over and droned, "I do believe you are not improving the situation, darling."
"I don't get it..." Twilight made a face. "What's so bad about something once you understand it?"
"M-maybe I-I don't want t-to understand it!" Fluttershy's muffled voice said.
Twilight sighed. "Great. Now she's got the shivers."
"So long as we are in this gazebo, we should be quite safe," Rarity said. "Besides, we could be worse off. We could be out there in that... drenching... mess..." She tilted her head and gazed out upon the swirling grayness. "What the devil...?"
Fluttershy tilted her head up for once. She and Twilight squinted curiously in the direction that Rarity was looking. "Huh?"
A figure could be seen trotting leisurely through the rain. What's more, the orange equine was accompanied by a dandy, whistling tune.
"Okay, is it hailing all of the sudden?" Twilight's brow furrowed as she gazed over Fluttershy's shoulder. "Because I think the sky's decided to drop down traveling minstrels."
"Yooohooo!" Rarity waved at the figure. "Hello there! Uhm... might I ask what you think you're doing in the middle of that awful downpour?"
"Rarity, while you're at it... uhm... ask him or her if they're crazy," Fluttershy remarked.
"One thing at a time, darling. Though, I do believe your inquiry has already been answered."
The figure stopped. Shifting about in the splashing puddles, it faced the gazebo, then trotted towards them, not quickening its leisurely stride one bit.
Three pairs of eyes reflected the pony as it drew near. At last—after another roll of thunder—all three mares collectively gasped: "Applejack...?"
"Why, howdy, girls!" Applejack tilted the brim of her hat, causing a cascade of rain-water to fall down her freckled face. "Heheh... fancy meetin' y'all out here!"
"Applejack, I know that you have bashed your head and hooves against many an apple tree in one lifetime, but have you finally gone insane?" Rarity hissed.
"Get inside here this instant!" Twilight exclaimed with wide eyes. "Do you want to catch pneumonia?!"
"Yer forgettin' the iron-strength of the Apple family immune system!"
"Applejack..."
"For real, girls..." Applejack smiled and shrugged as if the water droplets soaking her mane and tail were made of nothing. "You think I've lived all my life on the farm without havin' romped through a good number of rain sprinkles in my day?"
"You call this a sprinkle?!" Rarity pointed to the soaked air above the gazebo. "It's the end of the world in the form of a royal jacuzzi and you're out there having a square-dance in the mud!"
"I am not!" Applejack frowned, then smiled again. "Look, I was just hoofin' it across town after havin' made a fruit delivery to the local grocer, when suddenly it started rainin' cats and dogs. Seein' as I was far along the beaten path already and had no hope of makin' it to dry cover in time, I thought: shucks, why make a fuss about it? Besides..." She trotted a soggy circle around the structure. "T'ain't a big deal to get a lil' wet behind the ears every now and then. Kind of reminds you of the carefree days of foalhood, ya reckon? Y'all should learn to live a little!"
"Does your foalhood include horrible, scary lightning and th-th-th-thunder?" Fluttershy trembled to speak.
"Beg yer pardon?" Applejack asked above the pitter-pattering drops.
"It's storming like the end of days, you neighcompoop!" Rarity spat. "Have you no care for your own well-being?"
"Fluttershy, Rarity, please..." Applejack chuckled dryly. "This ain't no thunderstorm! If there was a touch of lightning, don'tcha think I would have heard it by now?"
On cue, thunder rolled, and the whites of Applejack's eyes strobed bright as headlights.
"Whoah, nelly!" She flew into the gazebo like a wet comet, making the other three wince. "It's a gul-durn thunderstorm!"
"That's what we were trying to tell you!" Twilight groaned.
"Well y'all could have been more direct-like about it!" Applejack muttered while wringing out her mane.
Rarity frowned. "How much more direct could we have been than 'Applejack, you insufferable dolt, you are going to get struck by lightning if you keep up with your ridiculous shenanigans'?"
"Hardy har har. Very funny, Rarity. Nice pony pedi, by the way."
"Grrrr..."
"Please..." Fluttershy squeaked, hugging Twilight tighter. "Can we stop fighting?"
"Nnnngh... we ain't fightin', Fluttershy." Applejack took her hat off and shook her bangs dry. "Honestly, we're just—" She froze, blinking at the close embrace Fluttershy and Twilight were sharing. "Sugarcube, didja turn into a sleeping bag overnight?"
"Oh, uhm... this...?" Fluttershy fidgeted.
"Fluttershy was just keeping me warm so I didn't catch a cold." Twilight cleared her throat and gently parted the pegasus' wings. "But I'm okay now; I'm not shivering anymore." She swiveled on her seat and smiled up at Applejack. "How about it, Applejack? Should Fluttershy do you next?"
"No, I don't need her to... do me...?" Applejack's face grimaced. "Land's sakes, that didn't come out right at all."
"Oh, puh-lease..." Rarity rolled her blue eyes. "Would you ladies kindly get your minds out of the gutter?"
"Hey, we're not even remotely in the gutter!" Twilight frowned, then pointed. "Applejack's the one who looks like she just rolled out of one."
"Now wait just a cotton-pickin' second! I..." Applejack froze. She blushed straight through her freckles. "Shucks... I do look like I just climbed out of a diamond dog's shower drain, don’t I?"
All was dead-silent, save for the hush of the falling rain. Fluttershy was the first to sputter, breaking into full-on giggles. Twilight's chuckles joined her, followed by Rarity's airy laughter.
"Heh heh heh heh..." Applejack guffawed, slapping a wet hoof against the floorboards as a golden mat of soaked hair fell over her brow. "Just look at me! I'm like a hog who thought the mud came from the sky! Apple Bloom would have better sense than to get this soaked! Heck, Winona would have better sense!"
"Look at all of us!" Rarity laughed so hard she produced tears. "Four adult ponies, cowering under a scant piece of shelter as if we'll melt from the tiniest touch of moisture!"
"Quick!" Twilight chirped, grinning until her cheeks hurt. "Which one of us is secretly a witch?! She should be tossed out first!"
"That probably means you, Twilight," Fluttershy said.
"Whoops! Shhhh! Fluttershy! You found out my secret!"
The two ponies leaned on each other as they laughed. Meanwhile, a bright figure bounced up and down between Rarity and Applejack on the other side of the gazebo.
"Hahahaha! The 'lake house!' Boy, that's rich!" Pinkie Pie giggle-snorted. "I've never laughed so hard since... well... since that last time I bust a gut after Cheerilee told me about her secret hobby!"
The four ponies gasped and nearly fell out of the gazebo altogether.
"P-Pinkie!" Rarity covered her beating heart with a dainty hoof.
"What?" Pinkie grinned. "It was gardening! Cheerilee likes to plant flowers." She turned and waggled her eyebrows at no one in particular. "Behind the lake house..."
Applejack stared at her, dripping. "What in tarnation are you doing here?"
"Laughing!" Pinkie's bright blue eyes blinked. "What are you guys doing here?"
"Uhhhh..." Fluttershy gawked.
"Seriously..." Twilight Sparkle squinted across the way. "What's up with the lake house?"
"Hey, Applejack!" Pinkie pointed. "You're all Soakedjack!"
"Reckon I'd still be stompin' mudholes too..." Applejack plopped her wet hat down onto a seat behind her. "If only it weren't for the sudden lightning." She leaned back against the wooden edge of the gazebo and narrowed her eyes in thought. "I swear, I didn't hear no roll of thunder until I followed y'all's voices to this here gazebo."
"Well, it's a good thing you did, darling," Rarity said. "I would hate for the Apple Family to be down one mare and up one lightning rod."
"I ain't kiddin'," Applejack remarked. "It was just an innocent little afternoon shower until a minute or two ago. I'm no weather pony, but t'ain't natural for this time of year!"
Regardless, the body of the gazebo echoed with even more thunder.
Pinkie Pie glanced around with a bright grin. "Maybe the sky's just hungry! It's tummy is rumbling!"
"Pinkie, please..." Twilight groaned.
"Rule number one of weather flying is that you can never tell when the weather will change from good to bad," Fluttershy said. "That's the first thing I was taught at flight camp. I was very, very good at remembering things." She stared demurely down at her own squirming hooves. "I wasn't very good at much else..."
Pinkie Pie gasped. "You mean the sky swallowed up an entire flight camp full of ponies?!"
Rarity ignored that and said, "I still can't for the life of me figure out why the pegasi allowed it to become such a nasty afternoon. Today is Wednesday! It’s supposed to be a dry day! Hmmph! This is in complete disregard for the set schedule we were provided at the beginning of the week."
"Maybe they were called off for an emergency," Twilight said. "It's not unusual for the Clousdsale Council to require the sudden assistance of all Ponyville pegasi."
"Then why's Fluttershy here, ya silly filly?" Pinkie pointed. "Unless she's been an earth pony this whole time!"
"That would explain a few things, come to think of it," Applejack said. She chuckled at herself and waved apologetically in Fluttershy's direction. "I'm only joshin', sugarcube. Yer fine and dandy in my book."
"Oh... uhm... 'fine and dandy' sounds nice..."
Pinkie shoved her face in Fluttershy's. "Those wings are pasted on! Admit it!"
"Uhm..."
"They're fake and they're made of vanilla wafers!" Pinkie turned to grin at the others. "I know! I've tasted!"
"If we're lucky, then maybe—" Twilight's eyes bulged as she turned to gawk at Pinkie. After a few seconds she cleared her throat and faced the group again. "If we're lucky, then maybe Rainbow Dash will see how miserable everypony is and clear the clouds herself."
"I'm not miserable," Fluttershy said. "Aside from the scary lightning every now and then, I'm..." She turned and gave Applejack a pronounced wink. "...fine and dandy."
"Just where is that lazy mare anyways?" Applejack frowned. "I haven't seen a single color from her head or tail all day!"
"Applejack, darling, Rainbow Dash is hardly the 'lazy' sort," Rarity remarked, then shrugged. "She is simply... ehhh... 'diligence-declined.'"
"She's lazy is what she is," Applejack said as thunder rolled above them once more. "Come on! We all know it! I mean, sure, we have every reason to love the girl to death; she's proven time and time again that she's there for us when we need her. But it wouldn't surprise me if this here storm is soakin' up the landscape because she forgot to set her alarm clock this mornin'!"
"Applejack, you can't pin this all on her!" Twilight said. She smiled gently. "Besides, even if that was the case, can you blame the pony? She's been working late shifts to accommodate for her training in the Wonderbolts Academy as of late..."
"Ohhhh, she's so stressed out with each trip she makes to that awfully high plateau," Fluttershy remarked in a tender voice. "She never says it out loud, but each time she drops off Tank at my place for me to take care of while she's away, I can see the tired look in her eyes."
"You're pulling my tail!" Pinkie squeaked. A frown crossed her bright features. "How can Dashie be tired?! For the past few weeks, I've been giving her Mrs. Cake's special brand of Cloud-Kicking-Cappuccino!"
"Pinkie Pie, I've sampled that coffee myself," Rarity said with a glazed-eye expression. "It's only suitable purpose is for washing the paint off of antique stagecoaches. How can you expect a young, athletic pegasus like Rainbow Dash to stomach the stuff?"
"Besides, the idea of Rainbow Dash drinking coffee..." Twilight scrunched up into a tight, lavender ball. "...really scares me."
"Heh..." Applejack smirked. "Reckon she'd be making sonic rainbooms from here to doomsday."
"Or until the world ended!" Pinkie exclaimed.
"Or until the—" Applejack stopped halfway to face-hoof. Weathering a sigh, she tilted her head back up and said, "As much as I love to gab with y'all, we really can't be expected to stay here forever."
"Applejack is right!" Rarity exclaimed, nodding. "We must find a way out of this... ridiculous predicament."
"Preferably without getting our manes ruined," Twilight muttered.
"Oooh! Oooh!" Pinkie Pie bounced and pointed. "Why don't we get Twilight to use her super-awesome-magical horn to teleport us out of here!"
"Yeah!" Applejack nodded. "What Pinkie said!"
"We've already been over this before you two came here," Rarity said. "Twilight can't afford to use magic without permanently damaging these precious rocks stowed away in her saddlebag."
Applejack nodded again. "Screw what Pinkie said!"
"Hmmph..." Pinkie sat on her haunches with folded forelimbs. "Well, I dunno about you guys, but I've got baking to do at home, and it can't wait for too much longer!"
"Ooooh, Pinkie..." Fluttershy sat up straight with her ears perked. "Is this the cinnamon swirls you've been talking about all week?"
"Only the swirliest and the cinnamonest! I gotta get home before sundown or else the baking pan gets mad at me. You ever worked with disgruntled kitchenware before? Lemme tell you, it's not a happy sight."
"You realize, that if this was any other group of ponies I was conversing with, then I might have been inclined to bat an eye at that," Rarity stated.
"Well, if magic and... Pinkie's randomness can't help us, then how do we get out of here?" Applejack asked.
"Again, if only Rainbow Dash was here..." Twilight began.
"Stop saying her name as if you're somehow going to miraculously summon her, darling," Rarity cooed.
"If I had a weather pony stuck in my mane, I would totally have let you girls borrow her already!" Pinkie said.
"Well, don't we already have a weather pony?" Applejack remarked.
The other four looked at her. "Huh...?"
Applejack pointed across the way at Fluttershy.
Upon receiving the stares of four fellow equines, Fluttershy jolted back. "M-me? But... b-but I'm no weather flier! I-I can barely kick a column of mist without fearing I might hurt some water fleas hidden in the tiny droplets!"
"It's okay, Fluttershy," Twilight said, patting one of her folded hooves. "Nopony's asking you to clear the weather for us."
"Sure we are!" Pinkie slid over and threw Fluttershy into a tight side-hug. "Come on, girl! It's only a rain cloud!" She flexed the ends of the pegasus' limbs. "Besides, your Cloudsdalian cloppers were built to break wind! Snkkkt-heeheeheehee!"
"I... I-I don't know..." Fluttershy bit her lip.
"It would be extremely helpful to the rest of us if you were somehow capable of doing so, dear," Rarity said. "But we shan't force you."
"Cheer up, Fluttershy!" Applejack grinned. "What's the harm in givin' it the ol' college try?"
"I... uhm... I-I never went to college..." Fluttershy hid behind a lock of pink hair and shivered. "I was t-too afraid of the professors... and their bad cologne."
"Pffft! Calvin Kolt? Who could blame you, darling?"
"Ah, for Pete's sake..."
"Come on, Fluttershy!" Pinkie bounced and bounced. "She's our mare! If she can't do it, cut your hair!"
Twilight squinted. "Pinkie, I don't think that's how it—"
"Alright..." Fluttershy took several heavy breaths before standing up on wobbly limbs. "Alright... alright... I can do this..."
Twilight gave her a double-take. "Are you sure? You... uh... you might get wet."
"Don't listen to her, Fluttershy!" Pinkie chirped. "Getting wet is fun!"
"Right." Rarity walked in front of Pinkie and looked Fluttershy squarely in the face. "You're certain you are willing to try parting the clouds for us?"
"I would rather do it without thinking much about it," Fluttershy said. "It's what Rainbow Dash would do, after all."
"Awwwww..." Rarity leaned in and nuzzled Fluttershy dearly. "Next week, our trip to the spa is on me, darling."
"What would Rainbow Dash do..." Pinkie Pie tapped her chin in thought. "Hey, have you girls ever thought about getting into the bracelet-making business?"
"Nope," Applejack grunted. She turned to Fluttershy. "It's now or never, Fluttershy. Come over here and I'll give ya a boost."
"Uhm..." Fluttershy trotted over and rested two hooves on Applejack's flank. "Okay..."
Applejack aimed her rear legs—and Fluttershy—towards the gray sky beyond the gazebo. "A one..."
"You can do it, Fluttershy!" Twilight cheered.
"And a two..."
"Show the rainclouds who's boss!" Pinkie shouted.
"We're counting on you, dear!" Rarity added.
Fluttershy trembled to say, "But in what direction should I kick the skies clear—?"
"And three!" Applejack bucked Fluttershy into next year.
"Gaaaaah!" Fluttershy's shrieking voice dwindled like a bombshell falling into the distance. She disappeared amidst the drizzle of rain, her yellow-and-pink form lost amidst the grayness.
Twilight winced. "Woo-wee, Applejack. Think you maybe tossed her a bit too hard?"
"Golly..." Applejack gazed with twitching green eyes into the falling mess. "Can't rightly remember the last time I ever had to toss her anywhere."
"Seriously?" Rarity remarked.
Applejack gulped. "Felt like tossin' a pillow into a waterfall."
The gazebo was dead silent.
Finally, with a scraping of her hooves, Pinkie swiveled to scowl at Applejack. "Way to go, AJ! You killed Fluttershy!"
Applejack stomped her hooves. "I did not!"
"You so totally did! You drowned her to death with your country catapulting!"
"I just gave her a little toss into the rain! Big deal! It's not like I dashed her against the rocks or nothin'!"
Pinkie Pie gasped. "You knew there were rocks out there and yet you tossed her anyways?!"
"Huh?! Now wait just a dag-blame'd minute—!"
"Don't you talk to me about dag-blaming, you villainous purveyor of drowning rocks!"
"Will everypony calm down?!" Twilight grumbled. "Just give it a few seconds! Fluttershy will show up!"
"How do we know that?!" Pinkie barked. "For all we know, Fluttershy could be floating halfway to Tartarus about now!"
"Fluttershy would go to Tartarus?!" Rarity gawked.
"Pinkie, simmer down, will ya?"
"How can you tell me to make like fried eggs at a time like this?"
"Ooomph!" A sopping wet Fluttershy landed on the edge of the gazebo before them.
"Fluttershy!" Rarity rushed over to her. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah! Maybe you can settle an argument for us!" Pinkie squatted down, her eyes squinting hard. "Did or did not Applejack just kill you a few seconds ago?"
"Uhm..." Fluttershy paused to cough and sputter. She pulled a wet mane of pink hair away from her eyes. "Can I dr-dry off first before I d-decide if I'm dead or not?"
"Fluttershy!" Applejack smiled tenderly as she and Rarity helped the pegasus up to her trembling hooves. "I'm mighty sorry, sugarcube. I meant to give you a boost towards the clouds, not toss you into next week!"
"It's... f-fine, Applejack," Fluttershy said between wheezing breaths. "It's my fault. I j-just couldn't make it high enough."
"How far did you go?" Twilight asked with a bright expression. "Did you touch the clouds? The tree-tops?"
"I... uhm..." Fluttershy blushed with a nervous smile. "I landed on the gazebo's rooftop. I got my hoof stuck in a shingle and it took me a minute to get loose..."
Twilight blinked. She ran a hoof over her face, composed herself, then said, "Alright. Well... uhm... unless you're thoroughly exhausted from... getting stuck in the gazebo's roof..."
"Twilight, for shame!" Rarity frowned across the way. "Can't you see she's done all she can?"
"No... no no no..." Fluttershy gently brushed Applejack and Rarity aside as she marched towards the gazebo's edge. "I got this."
"Fluttershy, are you most certain?" Rarity asked.
"Yes. I am." Fluttershy gulped. "I can totally do this. Although, Applejack, if you would be so kind..."
"You betcha..." Applejack stepped back with a goofy grin. "No more launchin' ya. Not this time."
Pinkie Pie stood beside the farm mare, blinking in shock. "So you mean Applejack's not going to jail?"
Applejack stomped on one of Pinkie's hooves without looking.
"Ow ow ow ow..." Pinkie Pie bounced painfully in a circle.
"It's just r-rain, that's all. Not river rapids... not an avalanche of snow... what's so bad about it?" Fluttershy stretched her legs, flexed her wings, and started hovering. "You girls need to get home, and it's all up to me. I'm not about to let you down—"
Thunder boomed like a freight train crashing on top of them.
"Eeeep!" Fluttershy zipped across the gazebo and buried her face in Twilight's chest again. The unicorn sighed and patted the pegasus' trembling shoulders with an exhausted smile.
Silence reigned across the rain-soaked domain. Even Pinkie Pie was at a loss to make a quip to break the sullen monotony. At last, it was Applejack who broke the quiet. Scuffling about on firm hooves, she plopped her wet hat back on her head and made for the gazebo's edge.
"Well, I'll be back."
"And just where do you think you're going?" Rarity asked.
"Where else?" Applejack flung a tired look over her shoulder in mid-trot. "I'm gonna march into town, fetch us a stagecoach, and pull it back here so y'all can hop in!"
"In the middle of this calamity?!" Rarity balked.
"Why not? We can't use magic to make a path. Twilight and Fluttershy are a sneeze away from freezin' somethin' fierce. You've got yer pretty mane to be worryin' about. And Pinkie Pie is... Pinkie Pie. Seems the sensible thing is for me to do the dirty work since I dun mind the rain none."
"Wait! Wait for me!" Pinkie bounced after the farm mare. "I'll get wet with you—"
Rarity blocked Pinkie's path. "You will do nothing of the sort!" Frowning, she turned towards Applejack and called after her. "Applejack, you come back here this instant! I couldn't live with myself if I allowed you to get struck by an errant bolt of lightning!"
"Unngh, Rarity, please..." Applejack trotted back and gave the group a lethargic glance. "The longer we all wait here, the less of a chance we have of gettin’ someplace warm and dry! Just lemme risk it, will ya?"
"Out of the question! You may occasionally be brutish, blunt, and uncouth—but that doesn't make me care about you any less than my other companions!"
"Jee, thanks..." Applejack rolled her eyes before pointing at the sky. "Seriously, though. Something ain't right with this weather. I mean... the thunder ain’t actin' natural at all!"
"Whatever do you mean?" Rarity remarked. "It is as loud and frightening as ever, is it not?"
"Uhhhhh..." Twilight's voice spoke up from where she continued to solace Fluttershy. "I've been holding back on saying this, but AJ's right."
The farm mare craned her neck. "Come again?"
Twilight gestured while speaking, "I've been hearing the thunder, but I can't recall seeing a single flash of lightning. Do any of you?"
"That's exactly right!" Applejack gasped as she stepped back onto the gazebo. As if on cue, another roll of thunder echoed through the air above them. "See? Like that right there! It sure sounds like thunder, but it doesn't... I dunno... taste like thunder!"
"Taste... like thunder?" Rarity made a face.
Pinkie leaned in. "Licorice and sourdough?!"
"I mean, it seems to be happenin' so frequent-like, not like regular thunder," Applejack stated.
"I'm afraid I don't read you," Rarity remarked.
"Thunder is an elemental thing," Twilight explained, drawing everpony's attention. "It happens only when the conditions are right for ionized particles to connect with one another, which is far too chaotic an event to predict with accuracy, much less regularity."
"Meaning..."
"Meaning it's not like a heartbeat!" Twilight said. "Or a pulse! Or a breath! It shouldn't be happening this often, and especially not without lightning!"
"Well, duh!" Pinkie Pie rolled her eyes and grinned. "Lightning doesn't feel like ponies! Or even kick clouds or fly with the Wonderbolts like Dashie!"
"Pinkie Pie..." Rarity sighed and looked the pony's way. "What on earth does any of this have to do with Rainbow Dash?"
"I dunno." Pinkie shrugged. "Why don't you ask her?" She pointed above.
The other four tilted their heads up... up... up. Their jaws dropped, for propped atop a wooden beam of the gazebo's ceiling rafters was a blue pegasus, fast asleep, her colorful head dangling off to the side as she ungracefully drooled and snored. Her roaring breaths reverberated off the edges of the gazebo.
And just like that... thunder rolled.
"Oh for Pete's sake..." Applejack frowned so hard her face could cut diamonds.
"Rainbow...?" Fluttershy squeaked.
"You have got to be kidding me," Twilight grumbled.
"Pinkie!" Rarity gasped. "Why didn't you tell us that Rainbow Dash was sleeping above us the whole time?"
"Hey...!" Pinkie shrugged. "I figured she was so fast asleep, even she didn't know she was up there!" She blushed as she demurely touched her front hooves together. "I didn't want to be rude..."
"Hey!" Applejack barked at the top of her lungs. "Lazy flanks! Up and at 'em!"
"Snkkkt—Nnngh... mmmfff..." Rainbow Dash barely stirred, turning over with a drowsy grin. "Nyup-nyup... mmmm..." She resumed her thunderous snores.
"I mean it!" Applejack forcefully bucked the foundation of the wooden structure. "Rise and shine!"
The entire ceiling wobbled, shaking Rainbow Dash loose like a pine cone. She dropped like a rock, and didn't open her eyes until she was halfway answering to gravity. "Huh—Waaaaaaaaugh!" her voice cracked in blatant horror.
"Whoah!" Pinkie Pie slumped to the ground from the rainbow-colored weight landing on her backside. "Hiya, Dashie! What's up! Certainly not you, anymore! Snkkkt—hee-hee-hee-Owwww my vertebrae..."
"Nnngh-Guh!" Rainbow Dash sat up and saluted dramatically. "Sir! Yes, sir! Lick your horseshoes clean again?! Whatever you say, Captain Spitfire... sir...?" She slowly swiveled her head around, blinking at the familiar faces all around her. "I'm... not at the Academy."
"No, you most certainly ain't!" Applejack frowned, then pointed out at the thick curtain of moisture. "But there's a storm out there with yer name written all over it!"
"Pffft! As if!" Rainbow Dash dusted herself off and helped Pinkie Pie up. "Tuesdays are my one day off in the week. It can rain and rain for all I care. None of my business."
"I'm sorry to burst your bubble, darling," Rarity said. "But it's Wednesday."
"Ha! Hahaha—Oh good one, Rarity. 'Wednesday...'" Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes and turned about. "You guys really need to brush up on your practical jokes—" She froze. "Uhm... why is Fluttershy wet?"
Fluttershy avoided the pegasus' gaze while Twilight leaned in with a furrowed brow. "Give us one good guess."
Rainbow Dash tongued the inside of her mouth and flicked her tail in thought. "Cuz... y'all had a squirt gun fight?"
Five deadpan faces replied in silence.
Rainbow gulped. "It's totally Wednesday, isn't it?"
"Yes."
"Crud." Rainbow Dash took off like a smoke-billowing missile. "Crudsicles hanging off the crud of a crud queen in Crudcember!" A sonic boom lit the air as the clouds cleared one by one, parting the rain and filling the skies with glistening, golden light.
"Yeeha!" Applejack reared her hooves in the dry air. "Now that's more like it!"
"Wowie! Look at Dashie go!" Pinkie bounced to say.
"I wonder why she's in such a hurry all of the sudden," Rarity thought out loud. She blinked worriedly at the others. "Surely it can't be that we've just embarrassed her unnecessarily?"
Fluttershy bore a tiny smile. "Perhaps she has an appointment at the lake house...?"
Applejack broke into rampant guffaws. Pinkie Pie snorted and fell giggling across the floor. Rarity held a dainty hoof over her smiling lips while Fluttershy laughed merrily.
"Rrrrrgh!" Twilight tossed her hooves towards the top of the gazebo. "What... in the hay... is up... with the lake house?!"
Author's Note
Special thanks to f***ing Florida
Also thanks to swashbucklist
for some belated editing fixes.
