The Perks of Derpiness

by Shimshar

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Slice of Life, Comedy
Length: 976

My first story, a short on the character Derpy Hooves. You gotta start somewhere, right? Expect nothing special, a short slice of life Derpy fic.

This is my first story, I expect nothing good, but would seriously appreciate feedback. This is a story and the adorably derpy character Derpy Hooves, a short slice of life about the perks of her derpiness.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-06-07 16:00:01 UTC

A Series Of Derpy Events

Your invited to Kranky Doodle's bestest birthday party of all time!!

So, I thought about inviting you by singing, but then I was all like "Remember last time You did that Pinkie!? You were all tired an stuff afterwards, and that was no fun at all!" So then I decided to go and pass out written invitations, especialy cuz I'm inviting everypony in town this time! Then I was thinkin something about glasses... They look super silly! Y'know? Like, 2 pieces of circle glass stuff on your eyes? Thats like, super duper silly!

Derpy zoned out for the rest of it, her mind now pondering over the past statment about glasses. She had an appointment later, to try and find the cause of her out-of-sync eyes. Derpy already knew the cause of course, but that was super duper secret. So she plodded along, paying no attention to the time, by the time the arrived, the found that Nurse Redheart had been waiting at the door, and was now ushering her inside a small room.

"You're 20 minutes late! I have to attend another appointment in 10 minutes! Lets make this quick, alright?"

Derpy, obviously not acknoledging the urgeny of the matter, replied as enthusiasticaly as ever whilst she was sat in a comfortable chair, made from dragon skins. Perfectly normal, of course. In front of her, latched onto a wall, was a screen displaying randomly assorted letters, varying in size, biggest at the top and smallest at the bottom.

"Alright Derpy, can you read out the letters for me, starting from top to bottom?"

Derpy was clueless as to what she was talking about, her eyes were both pointing directly below her, she could see no letters.

"Errm, Miss? Where are all the letters?" Derpy asked, innocently and curiously.

Redheart was confused by this, was Derpy pulling a prank on her?

"Th- The ones in front of you... Derpy..."

She said, utterly confused, Derpy's right eye rolled to point at the celling, giving her a quick glimnpse of the screen.

"Ah ponyfeathers, I almost saw it that time..." Derpy innocently uttered, leading to a sigh from the Nurse.

"I dont have time for this! Rebook your appointment, alright?" Derpy was confused, but she didn't mind.

"So I dont need glasses?"

"No, whatever, just go."

Derpy obeyed, not understanding but uncaring, maybe there would be muffins at the party! What was the time? Eh, whatever, the time doesnt matter. If she was early, she would buy muffins. If she was late, well... Um... Unable to come to a conclusion, she decided on the brilliant backup plan of Make a bakup plan but her tactical thoughts soon came to an end, she was interrupted by a bright pink pony, with a mane of candy-floss and teeth of not-much-exept-holes. The one an only, Pinkie Pie.

"Hey! Derpy! Watcha doin? Your like superduper early! Wanna get some muffins?"

Her thoughts brightened at hearing the word 'muffins' and she bounded over to where the element stood, a gleefull expression poisining her face ear-to-ear.

"Sure thing, Pinkie Pie! Do you have the bluberry muffins? I really like the blueberry muffins. They're like, soft and they have the little gooey blueberry bits, oh and the butter! I really like the butter!"

Derpy was yelling at the end of her sentence, and everypony was now awkwardly glancing at her. Derpy noticed the expressions.Heh... Maybe I got a little too exited. Pinkie giigled at her enthusiasm.

"C'mon! Lets get baking!"

And they bounced into Sugarcube Croners, with matching smiles on their faces, dreaming of the muffins to be eaten. "Hey! I made you one here! Its like, a taste tester! I used the special ingredient and everything! "Whats the special ingredient?" Derpy asked, her eyes managing to focus on the treat in front of her. "Extra sugar, its secret! Try it!" Derpy ate the treat, savouring the taste it gave her, ther was a reason why she liked muffins, but that was secret too.

The treat was totaly nice and everything! So they walked to the kitchen, to be greeted by Mr. and Mrs. Cake, baking furiously for their customers. So they began their quest, all the while pinkie murmering to herself "All you gotta do is take a cup of flour add it too the mix, now just take a little something sweet not sour..." this was when Derpy noticed something, thanks to her left eye rolling to the left. a jar of... Fake blueberrys? By Celestia... All the muffins the ever ate... Were a lie?  She began to sweat noticably, Thankfully Pinkie could not see what she was looking at due to the random angles of her eyes. Whoa... Thats like, super scary? Why would pinkie even have them? Oh my gosh, I need to get out. Thank god for my eyes.

"Oh gosh! I tottaly forgot! I have another appointment... Now... Um... Sorry Pinkie... I need to go."

With that she ran out the door. Not knowing where to go. The first place she knew to go was the queens house, she rushed to the shack at the end of town. Still savouring the taste of her muffin. Her fake, evil, horrible muffin. But that was what made her special, she was the only changling that could taste. After that time she accidently almost killed the queen, then saved her, the queen granted her a wish, and Derpy wanted to taste something. So she was given muffins. She didn't mind, she never became tired of the treats. But she would have to move town now... She was a very nervous pony, and she knew she couldn't live knowing there was a pony with fake blueberry muffins on the loose! Or maybe she was wrong, it didnt matter, she was still scared. Another muffin should calm her nerves.