Whooves

by Lite-Nite

Rating: everyone
Tags:
Length: 621

My name is Sparkler. And let me tell you: my family is probably the strangest bunch of ponies you'll ever meet.

My name is Sparkler Whooves. I'm 21. My mom is 22. And my Dad is millions of years old, for all we know.

My family is probably to oddest bunch of ponies you'll ever lay eyes on.

We're the Whooves.

And we're not normal ponies.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-06-06 22:09:49 UTC

Prolouge

My name is Sparkler Whooves.

I am normal. I have a normal mane color and a normal coat color and a normal cutie mark. I have a normal house on a normal street in a normal town. Maybe I'm normal. But my family certainly is NOT normal.

Ok, so I'm not really sure what you're going to think about this. But my dad is an alien. My mom is only one year older than me. My little sister is an accident. My mom has doinky eyes. My dad travels through space and time in a blue box.

And me?

I'm the only normal one.

Sit back. Relax. Grab a muffin, maybe, and stick it in the toaster. Get a good grip on your chair.

Let me tell you how our family works. You may be astonished. Maybe skeptical.

And you are not going to believe some of the things our family does.

Me

I'm a unicorn. A purple unicorn. I have a bluish dark purplish mane. It's kind of spiky and curls a tiny bit. I cut it short because sometimes I wish I had been born a boy, because I like mares. And I get judged for that, but it's not uncommon in Ponyville. In fact, Rainbow Dash (who is the greatest flyer in the history of ever) is a lesbian too. She and Applejack are engaged. They say they're gonna have a wedding in the middle of the night and it's gonna be located on a cloud and Rainbow Dash is going to kiss Applejack and grab her then plummet down and do a Sonic AppleBoom. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Back to me.

I suck at magic. Every time i try to  pick something up with my horn it just fizzles and pops and then BANG! what ever I'm trying to hold either explodes or cracks in half. It's crazy. My mom just says that it's not my talent. But I don't care. I still want to be as good as Twilight Sparkle (the only known unicorn who was picked to become an alicorn by Celestia herself) but i know that would never be possible.

Speaking of my talent, I'm a jeweler. I can dig jewels up as easily as a filly can spend a bit in a candy store. Believe me, I've actually run that test with my little sister, Dinky. It's no lie. Anyway, my favorite gems are the amethysts. They are the same color as my coat and they gleam and glimmer and shine and sparkle like Luna's stars. I have a stand in the marketplace where i embed gems into anypony's anything. Even flanks. I hate piercing a pony's flank, but i guess some ponies just want to stand out. I don't. I just want to be normal. But like i said, with my family, that's impossible.

I was adopted. I'm 21 and my mom is 22. She adopted me when i was 18 years old, and she was 19. That was 3 years ago. I fit in pretty well, despite the oddness of everyone i'm not-really-but-wish-i-was related to. I love everyone in my family. More than I loved my old parents. They used to threaten me and beat me and make me sad. Finally, i turned them in. Best choice of my life. Now I live with the Whooves.

I am a Whooves.

Ps.

I'm sorry if you didn't like my writing. I have this really weird thing where i like to write exactly what i think and sometimes i think of really choppy sentences that are only 3 words and sometimes i think really fast and drawn out and thewordskindofjumbletogetherandittakesalongtimetowritebutidontcare. So yeah.

I'm not a very good author either.