Blueblood's thoughts

by Dsarker

Rating: everyone
Tags: Adventure, Dark
Length: 1252

Blueblood has some reflections on other ponies.

Blueblood has some reflections on other ponies.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-06-07 09:38:26 UTC

Rarity

And then there's our friend Rarity. There's a reason that she likes to make huge and extravagant dresses: it's to hide the fact that she has two mouths. One she uses when talking to Applejack and the other she uses when talking about Applejack.

Did I say two mouths? Perhaps I meant two faces.

I've been slandered by Rarity as being dishonourable and devious, and yet, I've never been anything but honest about my nature. I wear my heart on my sleeve, as it were. Rarity, on the other hoof, is just like I am, but hides it under fine silks and a pretty smile.

How many times has she hid behind her friends while chastising you on your lack of courage? How many times has she fled, leaving Twilight to protect her as she ran away?

She herself said it best: "I only need one strike." And she only strikes when she's made sure that you have no chance to defend yourself. Not because she's a better pony, but because she talks better than you do.

Rarity is a snotty, limp-hoofed, inbred whelp who needs... no, not needs... who wants a spanking.

The funniest thing about her is how she thinks she serves Celestia. After all, how does dressmaking serve Celestia? Does it serve her... oh, say, greater than the way the Apple Family serves Celestia? Which is more important to Celestia - a couple of cheap dresses, or feeding hundreds of ponies? Digging up a couple of gems or preventing starvation?

A pony's duty is to help other ponies. Just how does dress making and gem finding help other ponies? I'm sure Rarity has a very eloquent answer for us. Tell you what, she can tell her very eloquent answer to the ponies who just starved to death. I'm certain they want to hear all about it.

Oh, yes, Rarity certainly makes Equestria look very pretty, but a pretty coffin is still a coffin, no matter how many sequins and gems you put on it.

Twilight Sparkle

There's not a lot bad to be said about Twilight Sparkle. I mean, ponies rarely see her. She stays up in her library, studying away. All day long, that's what she does: study, study, study. I wish I had the time to read all day long. Trouble is, I'm too busy obeying Celestia's orders.

'Princess' Cadence

I have just one question about Princess Cadence. It'll take me a bit to get to it, so I'll beg your indulgence for just a moment.

I have never been anything but honest. I'm Princess Celestia's underhoof, doing what she cannot do so she does not dirty her hooves with our work. I protect her from things Princess Luna and the Royal Guard cannot see, because they will not dirty their eyes with the knowledge required to see them. I study warfare as much as the Guards, and magic as much as Twilight Sparkle.

I have never been anything but what I am, and yet, still you shun me.

Princess Cadence was replaced with a changeling, and you couldn't tell she was replaced.

Somepony, or something, looking like her shows up, calls herself Cadence, and you take her in with open hooves.

You shun me, but embrace her.

Well, my question to you is simple.

She says she is Princess Cadence.

Why do you believe her?

Rainbow Dash

Here's a truth for you. Rainbow Dash will never see you as her equal. As far as she's concerned, there's no difference between you and a dung heap. That's a truth. You know it and I know it. She knows it, too. She's just too afraid to say it out loud, because vanity is a character flaw. Commander Hurricane said so.

And Rainbow Dash knows this better than anypony else. I mean, look at her flying over Equestria with her hair and her dress and her fluke - I mean highly skilled rainboom. Doesn't she look just amazing! It's a good thing she's not vain, because that's a character flaw, you know. Commander Hurricane said so.

She also said that a pegasus has no room in her heart for pride. After all, a pegasus only has room in her heart for her friends. Just ask her. Rainbow Dash would do anything for her friends.

Except lose.

And make sacrifices.

Maybe be humble.

Certainly not give up, oh no.

Those things would compromise her honour, and she can't do that.

She'd abandon them before she compromised her honour. Just ask her.

That's what Commander Hurricane told her to do.

So, Rainbow Dash will do anything for her friends, except... well, you know, in which case she'll abandon them.

That's why her friends have to be very careful about what they ask her to do. I mean, the last thing I would want to see is Rainbow Dash leaving her friends rather than do what her friends tell her to do.

But that's Rainbow Dash for you: loyal to the very end.

Zecora

Everypony always says "What can one say about the zebras with any certainty?" Well, I have something very certain to say about them. I have never been up there, but I hear there are a lot of fences up on the zebra lands, and there's a lot of zebras sitting on them. They're all afraid to come down, because they'll find out they have to do something.

Applejack.

Okay, okay. So Applejack provides food for Equestria.

So what?

Doing your work isn't enough. You've got to do it well, and exactly how well does Applejack provide? The cider never lasts a full day, it seems. There are reports of ponies who wanted to help her with that, not to mention help with the other parts of farming. And she certainly isn't busy selling the produce, or she wouldn't be needing to do it at the Grand Galloping Gala, would she?

Yes, Applejack is doing a fine job farming the apples. As fine as... well, let's say... Pinkie Pie would do. I'm sure if we sent her into the orchard, she'd harvest the apples as well as Applejack does.

How long does it take to buck a tree... five seconds?

To be honest, it's easy to pick on Applejack and her work for Equestria, but it's even easier to point out how little she regards other ponies' duties. You remember when she showed up to the Gala to sell carnival food? And she certainly holds Rarity in high regard, wanting her to 'patch up her duds', and never being satisfied while she tries to do her craft as best she can.

Half of her family is either too old or too young, and the other half are boorish labourers who don't have any more manners or common decency than your typical ursa major. She brings her mud back with her into our houses and doesn't even have the common courtesy to take a bath. She'd rather talk to trees and prefers the company of her dog over any of us. She mocks us, say we don't know 'what real work is', then returns to her orchard and waits for something to endanger her harvest.

She complains about her hard work, but if you offer assistance, she mocks you and laughs in your face. 'I'll do this on my own!' she says.

Perhaps she doesn't want us at her orchard because she doesn't want us to see how simple the work really is.