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I flung myself onto the bed and growled like a bear.

"That stupid excuse of a cook is NOT going to get away with this," I said. "I shall have her FIRED!!!"

I paced my room thinking more about the cook until I decided I'll fire her myself.

  I grabbed an envelope and a piece of stationery and a peacock quill with ink and wrote to my parents: "Thanks for the credit card. Hope you're having fun at Butterfly Island. Everything's pretty much the same here, except that I fired the cook. I caught her lazing off on the couch, eating maize tortilla chips and watching television. What a lazy fool! So I fired her."

I jotted down my signature, folded up the letter, and stuffed it inside the envelope. I will put it in the mail later.

  OK, so I lied. But I didn't want to get in trouble for firing my parents's fave cook for her calling me a brat because I blamed her for me being 210 pounds.

  That cook has gotten too far. She has made me obese, AND she thinks she has the right to call me a brat?! Ugh!!! The NERVE of that mare.

  I wrenched open the door and leaned over the banister to shout at the cook. "You're FIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GET OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The cook turned away from what she was doing to stare up at me. "WHAT?!?!?!" She said, obviously flabbergasted.

  I stamped down the stairs, facing the cook and looking into her ugly brown eyes. "You heard me. Get out of my face, get out of my mansion, and GET OUT OF MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

  The cook gasped, then frowned down at me. "Fine," She said. "I WILL." She stormed into the kitchen, with me following her, and she took all her ingredients, recipes, pots, pans, and bowls. I watched, with a constant frown on my face. She then pushed all the stuff in three purple fake crocodile skin suitcases and stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind her, never to return.

I dusted my hooves together. "Glad I got that over with. Right, Fern?" I beamed at the butler.

  Fern glared at me and shook his head. "That was a new LOW, Silver Spoon. If your parents were here in Ponyville, I am very sure that they will be VERY disappointed!"

  I glared back. "Oh, whatever. Like I care what you ponies think of me. Like I told that rotten cook, you IDIOTS are just staff!! As a matter of fact, you're THIS close to being on my list of ponies to fire with the cook!" I went back to my bedroom, raving mad.

  I let my belly flop onto the bed. I snatched up a fashion mag from my nightstand and tried to read it, but I was too unfocused.

  "ARGH!!!!!" I growled between clenched teeth, and pitched the mag like a Frisbee. It hit the wall, and slid down to the plush royal purple carpet.

  "It wasn't really the cook's fault." I said, not caring if the butler heard and thought I was crazy for talking to myself. "I let myself get so obese, and I hadn't bothered to do anything until now. I should have known something was up when I hit one hundred pounds at five years old."

I was going anorexic tomorrow and the rest of today.

My stomach growled.

OK. Maybe not today.

"Fern!!!!!! Get me one of those grain zero-calorie bars!!!!!!" I howled.

"NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He answered from downstairs. "I am not doing ANYTHING for you until you apologize!!!!"

  I was silent for a moment or two. Then I let out a little laugh. "Wow," I chuckled. "You REALLY want to get fired, don't you, Fern?"

  I huffed and stomped down the stairs, my stomach lolling from side to side. The visible fat rolls on my hooves jiggled wildly. Wow. Oh, WHEN will all this obesity know it's not wanted and get off my body?

  I went into the Lazy Susan cabinet and pulled out a strawberry grain bar from the box. I unwrapped it from its packaging, and munched off the top. In only five seconds, the King candy bar-sized grain bar was completely gone. New record.

  I burped loudly, covering my mouth a second too late before it came out. No wonder I became so fat. My mom DID tell me I was an overweight baby that could never moderate the amount of food I ate.

I walked back over to the cabinet and took another one out and ate it. Then another.

And another.

And another.

And another.

And another.

And another.

And another!

I burped again, even louder this time. I had eaten NINE of those grain bars!!

Wow!

And get this! SIX of them were the wrong, 600-calorie Triple Chocolate grain bars.

I looked to the right and saw Fern. I gasped/burped in shock, and wondered how long he was standing there.

  "Silver Spoon, you are one fat filly." He shook his head with annoyance. "Even with your little weight-loss regimen, you just can't stop eating junk, can you?"

  He walked away, and I watched him go. "It was an accident! I didn't know I was eating the wrong grain bar until now!!" I yelled after him.

Plus, how did HE know that I was on a weight-loss regimen?! I hadn't told any pony!

I guess my little(OK, huge) blowout fight with the cook made it super-obvious.

  But the most intriguing, and most difficult question of all was: HOW COULD I LOSE WEIGHT IF I COULDN'T STOP INDULGING IN FATTENING FOODS?!?!

IS THERE A MEDICINE FOR THAT OR SOMETHING?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!