Why

by OfTheIronwilled

Rating: teen
Tags: Lightning Dust, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rarity
Length: 4945

Seeing as Lightning Dust is now a reckless, self-centered pony who throws caution to the wind, Rarity wants to ask her what happened -- where the time went and why she changed. But she won't. Because Rarity knows what happened. Life happened.

Rarity has a knack for seeing a pony's life story -- their pain, happiness and love -- with just a glance into their eyes. She has to be able to, after all, because not only does she have a younger sister she is responsible for, but she also owes it to a certain other pony. A certain other pony, who, because Rarity wasn't able to see into her, is now self-centered, reckless and lonely, never to live out her greatest dream.

A certain pony who now goes by Lightning Dust, instead of the loving nickname of "Dusty" Rarity had given her.

Published 2013-07-01 15:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-07-01 15:50:01 UTC

Didn't I?

Why(Didn't I?)

Lightning Dust sat in the corner of the playground around her, looking out at all of the other ponies as they played. Leaning down and resting her head against the dusty ground below her, she didn't see a pair of white hooves come near her until their bearer's magic was putting a scarf around her neck.

"Hello," she said as Lighting looked up to see her. "I just thought you looked a little cold... and maybe a little lonely.

Lightning didn't say anything.

"Oh, I'm sorry, my name is Rarity. And you?"

Lightning didn't say anything.

"Ah... well, I guess it was good seeing you. And... for what it's worth, I'm sorry for what... happened. It must be hard."

"Ah, don't sweat it. My name's Lightning by the way."

***

***

Rarity smiled, out of happiness or just practiced hospitality she wasn't sure anymore. It was true that she liked to be as calm as absolutely possible under stressful situations such as these, as a lady knew that she was only a lady if she could keep her composure, but this was just too much for her to handle. There were several dress orders piling up, practically smothering her at this point of the day, and while she should have put up the "closed for business" sign hours ago, and shouldn't have been answering the door in the first place in order to work and not risk her sanity anymore, she found herself doing it. And with a smile on her face. She couldn't understand what compelled her to do it.

Maybe it was because because she recognized the way the pony on the other side knocked, or maybe because the voice that belonged to that pony should've been listened to years before. She wasn't sure.

The only thing that she was sure of, was that Lightning Dust was now flittering around in her doorway, smiling at her, a hoof held out for a bump. And really, even though she was sure of that fact, she didn't exactly understand it.

"Hey, Rare. I figured you'd be here -- thought I'd drop by if you were. How's it been hangin'? You know, other than the whole Academy thing."

She didn't understand anything, to be honest. Except for why she was then stepping aside and letting Lightning Dust into her home. That made sense. She had a reason for that.

***

***

Lightning "Dusty" Dust buzzed her tiny wings as hard as she could. Her eyes brightened as she lifted into the air slightly before her wings popped and ached, and she was sent crashing back into the tall grass, her face red and sweaty. She stayed there for a few seconds, puffing and panting, before her expression turned into a determined frown and she forced herself back up, pounding a hoof to the ground.

She had to get this right.

Lightning winced as she lifted her wings again, like she had for the last hour or so, and screwed her face up in pain as she started to flap them weakly. They were stiff, barely moving up and down no matter how much she tried; even when she started to lift up from the ground, they were still mechanical and odd-looking, like they belonged on a robot pony. Still, Lightning kept pushing, getting higher and higher up in the air, biting her bottom lip as she went.

She wasn't crying, though. Dusty never cried; she couldn't give everypony in town that satisfaction. Just because she was born on the ground didn't mean that she was a ground pegasus, and she intended to show Ponyville her stuff.

... After she learned to fly, of course.

Lightning's wings cramped up, but she still flapped them; she was actually hovering! Now just to move a bit forward...

She hadn't even lifted up a hoof before her wings locked up in their place and her body was being bounced up from the ground. Again. Dusty never cries, Dusty never cries, Dusty never cries...

She looked to the ground, putting a green hoof to her aching wings while her face stretched to a frown. For what felt like days on end, she had been doing this: hovering, trying to move, failing. Hovering, trying to move, failing. Over and over again. Many times she had gotten close, bobbing in the air with a grin before earning herself another bruise, but she never quite got it right. Every time, she ended up with her flank on the ground, frowning to herself. It was becoming a routine, really.

Only, this time, she smiled while her wings stung, and decided it was time to put her latest idea into action. Lightning looked back up to the edge of the Everfree Forest around her, scanning her eyes over the tree line until she saw a nearby one which looked like it had somewhat sturdy branches. She had seen the local birds; if this wasn't working, she would just have to go up to maximum and trust her natural instincts to kick in at the right moment.

Dusty arched her back, stiffly pulling herself up from the ground and brushing the dirt off of her forelegs. Trotting over to the tree, she put a hoof to the bark, buzzing her wings a little and pushing herself up to the lowest branch. Once she was on, Lightning kept climbing, one hoof after another, until she was as close to the top of the thing as she could manage, looking down to the ground which suddenly looked much farther away.

Her smile got bigger despite how much her wings hurt, and she opened them up while she balanced her way to the end of the branch. Looking away from the grassy ground she was about to be headed towards, and instead to the clouds in the sky, she took a deep breath...

And walked off.

At first, it was beautiful. She was floating through the sky, feeling free, the taste of sky on her tongue. She could even see the birds' nests littered around in all of the trees nearby. In fact, it wasn't until she had fell about halfway that she started to get scared; her wings were flapping, but she wasn't slowing down in the slightest. Everything slowed as the ground zoomed towards her, Dusty no longer remembering why she had walked off in the first place; all she knew now was that she was plummeting from a tall tree, the drop getting shorter and shorter, nothing she was doing working, nopony around to help her... she was going to get hurt badly, or land on her neck and die...

Her hooves shot out, flapping around wildly like her wings were at her sides. She let out a scream and clenched her eyes shut, her body doing flips in the air not of her own accord. Dusty couldn't tell which way she was falling anymore. Dusty couldn't tell where up was. She was scared. Somepony had to catch her. Anypony had to catch her.

She had to catch herself.

Lightning's front hooves skimmed the tree behind her, the sensation a tingle through her spine and forelegs. In return, Lightning gasped, her face turning up into a smile. Dusty flipped over as quickly as she could, flapping her stubby wings and shoving her body forcefully upwards and forwards as much as possible. This had to work. Had to. Nopony went near Everfree; if this didn't work, she would die. She would die, and die alone. This had to work.

Her hooves snapped backwards against the wood. There was a resounding, tiny 'thud' as the kick sent her a couple of feet ahead...

And then a few more...

... and then, suddenly... she was in the air, soaring off of the ground, a trail of lightning blazing behind her. And she had a smirk on her face.

***

Dusty smiled, her chest puffed out and her head tilted back haughtily as she trotted towards a small group of pegasus colts, all of them half-way through a game of knock-out. Only four ponies still buzzed around in line, most notably being Hoops, a stubby pegasus with basketballs as a Cutie Mark. Always Hoops. Hoops always won.

Lightning stepped forward when nopony was looking, snatching an airball between her hooves before the colt could get it back, and doing the same as Hoops' ball fell through the net above, effectively stopping their game; she couldn't hope to get a word in otherwise, as Hoops didn't have time for ground pegasi.

Unless, of course, it was a ground pegasus who got in his way and had earned their daily insults.

Hoops zoomed forward, his hooves clopping on the ground with a loud thud as he shoved his snout against Lightning's. She stared back at his icy glare, knowing she had a cocky, smug little smile on her face, and knowing that she deserved to wear it. Ground pegasus? Not anymore.

"What's wrong, Lightning Dirt," he cackled, the group of colts around him drawing closer and starting to form a tight circle. "Don't you know that only real pegasi are allowed to play with us?"

There was a resounding, echoing laugh from all sides. Dusty just shoved it off, still feeling the smirk tugging at her lips.

"Yep," she answered, pushing her snout forward and shoving Hoops slightly away in the process. "Wanna see what I got?"

Hoops pulled back from her touch, an eyebrow raised and his expression planted into a very confused, almost disgusted one. "What, you? I bet you can't even float, Lightning Dirt!"

At that, the smug little smile on Lightning's face finally exploded into a cocky laugh. She buzzed her wings as fast as possible, despite how much they ached and how tired her limbs were from climbing the tree earlier that day. Her hooves lifted from the ground, Dusty watching as Hoops' face turned from confusion to surprise before she looked to the sky. The clouds seemed to lower from their places in the blue above, and the wind picked up from under her wings while she slowly got higher and higher in the air. Once she thought she was high enough, and had decided that to prove herself, she had to do much more, she lifted her back hooves, pushing against the air and shooting forward, flying a straight line before stopping to(unknown to her), clumsily turn around. After doing this same thing a few times above the group of pegasi, not once looking down, she planted down in the very spot she had started in. Dusty was proud of herself.

Lightning looked around, but mainly at Hoops. For a second, everything was in stunned silence, nopony saying a word while Hoops slowly raised another eyebrow to match the first.

And then his lower lip quivered, and everypony in the tight circle burst out laughing.

"Y-You call that flying, Lightning Dirt?" Hoops gasped through laughs. "You can barely move in a straight line! I guess you are a ground pegasus, after all!"

Lightning's mouth and eyes popped open, her jaw nearly touching the ground and her ears flattening against her cheeks. She flew! She flew! What was the problem?!
Dusty never cries, Dusty never cries, Dusty never cries...
"Yeah," she heard a pegasus shout somewhere in the tiny crowd. "Any pegasus could do that!"

"What?" another pegasus shot back. "Any dead pegasus could do that. I bet she can't even stand on a cloud!"

Hoops didn't even push her down or offer anymore insults, too busy rolling around wildly on the ground. Lightning scowled at them, not that they were looking or particularly cared, pounding a frustrated hoof. Pushing out her chest as much as possible, she was fully prepared to prove to them that she could and give them a full show of her abilities, or even pummel Hoops into a bloody pulp. Anything to make him stop laughing. But she would never get the chance.

"C-Come on," Hoops stuttered, still chuckling. "Let's leave the ground pegasus where she belongs."

"How dare you!" Rarity hissed, her eyes staring menacingly into Hoops'. "Just because she was born some place other than you does not, and I mean does not mean that she has any less potential. Where exactly were you born, anyway?"

"Only Cloudsdale," Hoops answered. "Home of the Wonderbolts. Not that you would know, growing up in this little poor town."

"Oh?" Rarity said, feigning surprise and planting venom into her voice. She stomped a hoof. "Then I suppose you would know that Dusty's father was also a Wonderbolt?"

"What dad? Oh, yeah, he used to be. Forgot Lightning Dirt's dad isn't around anymore."

And then they all flew away.

***

***

Rarity also understood why, as soon as Lightning Dust had made her way through her boutique and had sat at her table before a glass of white wine, Rarity stared unwaveringly into her eyes, and fought off the urge to cry. It was such a long time ago, that memory, and yet it still pained her whenever she thought about it, and Rarity suspected that it hurt Lightning Dust as well.

Which was why, instead of going straight for the problem at hoof, she decided to beat around the bush, just a tiny bit, and fix the problem Lightning Dust was currently having. Rarity could easily see the way she slammed the drink set in front of her, her eyes showing a bit of disgust or dissatisfaction. It practically radiated off of her posture. It was expected, a bit, and this Rarity also understood why. This was an act of a bad hostess, and like giving Rainbow Dash juice instead of cider. It wasn't right.

"Would you like something a bit... harder, darling?" she asked, knowing full well what answer was to come.

Lightning Dust raised both eyebrows, a sly grin slipping onto her face. "Harder? Honestly Rare, I didn't peg you the type to keep hard liquor sitting around."

"You do realize, dear, that I am friends with not only Rainbow Dash, but a party animal as well? I need to be prepared for when the salt doesn't cut it."

Rarity allowed the thoughts of Lightning Dust to disappear from her mind as she then stood from her place at the table, once again, for not the first time just this very month, trotted to the back, to where Pinkie's stash was hidden. It worried her a bit, knowing that Pinkie often kept these things, but she knew fully well that her word stash actually meant her stash, and was meant only for the biggest of occasions. Maybe Pinkie would be angry for breaking into it, or for not wanting to explain why, which was understandable, but to her, this was a big occasion. This would be the only chance she got.

When Rarity got back to her table and began to fill Lightning Dust's glass with Pinkie's finest, she wasn't exactly surprised to see that her guest was gone. Not gone, though, as much Rarity could see her tail poking from another room, Lightning Dust looking into an unlocked box of gems.

"You still messing around with gems, Rare? ... Oh, you remember that one time Berry Punch or whatever was betting you couldn't find gems, so you did, right in front of her face? Gotta' admit, still pretty awesome." She said this while poking a hoof through the box in front of her, and while a shiver went up her spine, Rarity said nothing about it. The gems could always be cleaned later. Lightning Dust could not be talked to later.

"Yes, I suppose so," Rarity said, trying to approach the idea from Lightning Dust's level. "Though... I still do regret it. I made a mistake, digging those gems up directly below her, and she could have easily been hurt worse than she already was."

Lightning Dust looked up from the box, and walked over before taking her glass once again into her hoof. "Why would you regret it? She only twisted her hoof when she fell, and honestly, I think she deserved it. She shouldn't have dished out insults if she wasn't prepared to get hurt. She had to learn sometime or another."

Rarity didn't agree. She didn't wish to start an argument, however, and instead mumbled a muted "I see." before taking a sip from her own glass. "Well, I suppose it doesn't matter anyway; this is not about me, it is about you. So, dear... how have you been? I know you've been doing flight shows by yourself since... what happened."

Lightning Dust smiled, taking a drink herself, before closing her eyes. Rarity didn't know exactly why she closed them, perhaps to hide something or maybe because she was lying, but she did all the same. Rarity then found herself staring into her eyes once again, though now they looked cocky and smug. Believable.

"Yeah, I've been doin' shows here lately. Some time back, though, I managed to get a team together. They're not all that great, but -- hey -- they'll do good enough. We're doin' a show in Trottingham next; we're going to try a four-pony buccaneer blitz."

Rarity took a moment to imagine that, four ponies side by side, fire and lightning bursting off of them before trailing behind in a thick line. It could have easily caused a sort of fire if they got too low, and Rarity imagined that anypony unlucky enough to fall apart and into the blaze behind them would surely be scarred.

"Isn't that a little... dangerous, dear?"

"Well, yeah. So? It will also be awesome and wow the crowd. Besides, if any of the ponies on my team want to have a chance of getting into the Wonderbolts, they gotta be able to recover and fly in a team. Really, I'm helping them, and if they can't do it... well, why are they trying in the first place? It would be their fault."

***

***

Dusty buzzed through Rarity's house after being let in by her mother, mechanically going through hallway after hallway as if it was burned into her memory, before stopping in front of the door to Rarity's bedroom. It was firmly shut and locked, with a small sign with the word 'busy' elegantly painted on it hanging from her doorknob. Dusty tilted her head to the side, never having seen the sign before.

And decided to ignore it.

Lifting a hoof, she brought it down on the door, letting Rarity know she was there.

"Hey Rares, guess what?"

There was a moment of silence, just a faint buzz coming from the other side of the door, and then Dusty was tapping her hoof impatiently. Thinking that Rarity hadn't heard her, she lifted her hoof and knocked again, louder this time. Again. And again. And again.

Sighing, but putting on her famous wry smile, Lightning decided that Rarity was going to need a bit of persuasion in order to say hello for the day. Ignoring the sign and the fact that Rarity hadn't let her in, she nudged the door open, buzzing her wings and stiffly flying into the room; Rarity sat in the middle of it, at a table which she had pulled in from her "work room". Pieces of fabric floated around her, covered in a shimmering blue light, and a box filled with gems sat to her right.

Lightning Dust raised her eyebrows in surprise(Rarity never worked in her room... and where did those gems come from?) and stopped in her tracks for a second, before continuing on her way. Rarity could afford a quick break, couldn't she? This was a big day for Lightning, and it looked like Rarity had been working for a while anyway.

"Rare, did you hear me?" she asked, hovering in front of Rarity. "Check it out -- flying!" She stuck out her hoof for a quick bump.

Rarity stared past her, tilting her head wildly from side to side, trying to look at her fabric, and her fabric alone. "Yes, yes, that's good. Ah... Dusty, do you mind moving a little to the right? I can't quite see."

Lightning's ears folded back against her skull, and she pulled her hoof back. With Hoops and his gang, she could easily understand their response, but Rarity? She couldn't believe it -- sure, she had been engrossed in her work before, but usually Rarity would easily be drawn out by Lightning just saying hello. Did she not care? Did it not matter? Did she--
Dusty never cries, Dusty never cries, Dusty never cries...
Rarity was just busy. Just like the sign. Dusty just had to try harder to get her attention; she was entirely caught up in her work right now, that was all.

Lightning Dust smiled and placed her hooves on Rarity's cheeks. Squeezing them a bit and moving her hooves up and down, she said, "Hello? Rare? Flying? Me? Are you seeing this?"

Rarity flinched away from Lightning's touch, wiggling her head out of the way of her hooves before once again looking past her. "Yes, yes, wonderful," Rarity hissed, starting to get frustrated. She lifted a hoof and gently pushed Dusty to the side, once again sorting through the fabric and gems levitating before her eyes. "But the school play is tonight, and I have to get these costumes finished before it starts."

Lightning frowned, dragging a hoof over her own shoulder. She guessed Rarity wasn't happy to see her flying after a--

Turning her eyes to the costumes and dresses littering the room, she let that frown on her face turn into a confused one.

"Finished? Don't you think these look good enough? Pretty snazzy, if I do say so myself."

Rarity went rigid, her hair standing on end, finally noticing that Lightning was in the room. Lightning saw Rarity's eyes shrink into pinpricks from the side, before her head whipped around, her face sending Dusty a surprised, somewhat angry look. "Good enough? Good enough?! They can't be just good enough! What famous painting or sculpture do you know of got into the Louvre just because it happened to be good enough?!" Rarity smashed her snout against Lightning's, causing the pegasus to flinch. "No, they have to be fabulous! They must! They must!"

Lightning Dust held Rarity's gaze for a second, both of them just staring into each others eyes. Dusty fidgeted, her eyes darting around into the other's pupils. Rarity didn't look as much angry as she did frustrated, disappointed, and expectant... but Dusty could tell when she wasn't wanted. They still stayed in the same position... but eventually, Lightning put her eyes to the floor.

In turn, Rarity turned around, leaving Lightning sad and wondering why Rarity hadn't noticed she was a bit taller.

Dusty opened her mouth, ready to say something else, get Rare's attention... but decided not to. It wouldn't end well. She just lowered her eyes, her face stuck in a saddened frown; she touched down on Rarity's floor... and walked out of the room. She didn't dare slam the door behind her.

***

***

Rarity had let the earlier comment go, as she was not yet prepared to approach the subject at hoof, and had instead retired to sharing stories. She and Lightning Dust sat at the table, reliving days they had been through in the past and retelling the random misadventures they had had when the other wasn't present. It was nice, and Rarity suspected that Lightning Dust was enjoying herself, though when the time came, and everything fell into an awkward silence, she knew it was time to say something.

"Lightning, darling... why do you push yourself so hard?"

Lightning Dust gave her a confused look and a, "What do you mean?" in return.

"You have to push yourself so hard to impress an audience that you're willing to put their lives in danger. Why is that?" Rarity didn't mean to make it sound as if there were a hidden venom in her voice, but she could have understood if Lightning Dust thought so. She would have to lower her voice a bit, compose herself, act like a lady should. She didn't want to ruin her one chance.

"Well, you don't have to add all of those gems to your outfits, do you? I'm just doing what you do. I don't see what the problem is."

"Yes, well, when I add gems to my dresses, I don't endanger the lives of anypony and everypony around me."

Rarity knew that she had messed up horribly when Lightning Dust placed her glass back onto the table with a light clatter, and let it wobble dangerously back and forth before placing a hoof on it to steady it. She especially knew she had when she looked into the icy glare she was receiving.

"Listen, Rare, I have my own way of doing things, and you have yours. Alright? I don't know why my way of doing things is so horrible to everypony, but it shouldn't be. It's none of your -- their -- business."

It was too late.

"I wouldn't see why it wouldn't be my business, seeing as, because of your actions, I was nearly a beautiful little splat on the street."

She had to be hurtful. She had to get the point across.

Lightning Dust placed a frustrated scowl on her face, tired of hearing this same conversation yet again. Rarity could feel the guilt spreading in her chest and up to her eyes, but she knew very well that this talk had to be had again with her, personally, as she was the only one who knew. She was the only one who could see it. She could see it now, in fact, in her eyes. Amongst the anger and frustration, it was hiding, floating along in her irises and into her pupils.

"Didn't we just have this talk? You could've gotten hurt, but you didn't," Lightning Dust said, her voice a shout. "I don't get what's so wrong! I'm just pushing myself like any athlete would, and sometimes, ponies get in my way and I have to step on a few hooves to keep going. It's nothing personal... I just... what is it you want from me?! Why do you care?!"

She had to tell the truth.

Rarity was silent. She stared into Lightning Dust's angry eyes.

"I'm proud of you, Dusty," she muttered quietly, as to let it sink in. She saw Lightning Dust's eyes soften around the edges, the steam that had appeared there just a second prior disappearing to let in confusion and some hidden emotion in the back. And then decided that was her cue to continue. One chance. "When you were younger, dear, the only pegasus in your life who could ever teach you how to fly passed away, and after that point, nopony gave you the benefit of doubt. Critics were thrown your way, and you stood up to them, not letting their words get to you -- better than I've done at points, I'll admit. When ponies believed you wouldn't fly, you stood up to prove yourself to them. That is a quality of not only a good flyer, but also a good fashionista, and the lesson you learned should be known by anypony wanting to make a name of themselves. You are a relatively good pony -- while I will say your table manners need a bit of work, and you could do with being a bit less... brash -- despite what was given to you, and I am happy to say I am one of your friends... and I am proud of you. And I do not want to see you harm yourself."
Dusty never cries, Dusty never cries, Dusty never cries...

***

***

Once outside, Lightning slumped down on the door, sighed, and immediately knew she wouldn't be going back in. Not for a few days anyway. Maybe Rarity would want to see her later on -- they were friends, sort of, after all -- but she wouldn't want to see her flying again the way it was now. And that was understandable, really; her flying wasn't all that great. Maybe it was horrible... it probably was, like Hoops and the others had said. She thought that it was pretty good at first, but she knew now that it wasn't. It wasn't good enough.

Because like Rarity said, artwork never got into the Louvre, and ponies never got into the Wonderbolts, because they were good enough. They had to be fabulous.

They had to be the best of the best. Better than all of their competition.

...

So Lightning Dust smiled down at the floor and picked herself up off of it... because she decided that she would be. She would be better. She would be the best...

"You want fabulous, Rarity?" she asked, a smirk pulling at her mouth. "I'll show you fabulous."

...She would be fabulous.

She didn't even look down to see the Cutie Mark she knew had appeared.

***

***

Rarity expected, and perhaps, understood what she knew was to come. There were several things which could have happened then, all of them noted on a personal list in Rarity's head, and while Rarity didn't exactly like any of the possibilities... she was ready for anything.

Anything other than what happened next.

Lighting Dust didn't say anything.

But Dusty cried.

Author's Note

10/18/13

Done a little bit of editing to prevent confusion with flashbacks. Hopefully it doesn't break italics...