9Questria: A 9Gagger's love.

by RaspberryDaiquiri

Rating: mature
Tags: Human, Sad, Romance, Adventure
Length: 789

A 9Gag-user gets teleported to a road with a loud-mouthed unicorn.

Cheifzombie, a 9Gag user, was lonely one night when all of a sudden he tripped and fell into a conveniently placed gopher hole; teleporting him to Equestria

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-06-09 08:11:09 UTC

Lonely

It all starts with a 9gagger named ChiefZombie. He woke up one morning and as he walked out of his room, said "Dad, What's for dinner?" "Shut the fuck up and go suck a fucking dick you little bitch" Replied his dad. It automatically occurred to Chiefzombie that he had to cook his own dinner. So he got out two packs of ramen. He put them into a pot and started boiling the noodles. Chief went to his room and started masturbating to 9gag posts to pass the time. After a while he went back into the kitchen to get his noodles only to find that they were gone! He looked over at the kitchen table only to find his dad eating them. He looked up at him "This shit needs more fuckin' salt motherfucker" Chief reluctantly walked to the kitchen and fetched his dad some salt. His dad started pouring the salt all over the noodles. Chief sighed and went back to his room hungry. After a while of contemplating suicide he heard a loud BANG. Chief ran to the kitchen to see what the problem was. "YOU PUT IN TOO MUCH SALT, MOTHERFUCKER! NOW I'M GONNA KICK YOUR FUCKIN' ASS! Chief ran out of his house very quickly. Chief started sucking dick in the streets for a few extra dollars, it didn't really bother him, he actually kinda liked it. After his daily routine he went to sleep in a abandoned car. He went back to his house and started jacking off in his room on the computer, he was looking in the side-links because he was too much of a fuckin' faggot to have finished. In the side links he saw a pony "Why is that so sexually appealing?" He asked to himself. He started to jack off to these ponies and that's how he joined the fandom. Soon he got more and more into My Little Pony, it really helped him vent through his dad's beatings. The next day he went out to make some ramen and went to his room and jacked off to his newly-found ponies. After he came back his noodles were still there. This is his way of knowing that his dad isn't home. Jacob was enjoying his noodles that he only gets to have every once in a blue moon. "BOOM BITCH MUTHA FUCKA" his dad said as he Dikembe Mutombo blocked Chief's head from coming in contact with any more noodles. Then his dad took the fork and put it near his mouth. Almost eating it, he said " Wait a minute.." "I'm not going to eat after you, you fuckin' retard shit boy. You think I'm a fag?" He slapped Chief and took the bowl of noodles and threw it away. "We don't have all the fuckin' money in the world, you dumb bitch" His dad said as he scooped the noodles into the trashcan. "I don't know why you're so goddamn wasteful with food you shit-nosed prick" "I love you, Dad, please love me" replied Chief. "What a waste of jizz" replied Dad as he walked into his room. "I need to get out of here." Said Chief and ran outside into the forest. After about 30 minutes of his routing escape attempt he said "THIS IS TOO SCARY, I NEED TO GO HOME" and ran back in the direction of his house. But uh-oh, Chief had tripped and fell into a gopher hole and landed in a street. "are you okay" said a voice above his head. He looked up only to see Trixie Lulamoon. I forgot to mention that this pony was his least favorite of all. "My name is TRDRDRDRDRDRIXIEEEEEEE" Said Trixyogurt. Chief got up slowly. "I know who you are.." "Come to my fabulous house and heal up." "Hell no" Replied Chief. Then he was knocked out. He woke up in an office chair and hid under the desk from the lady. After a while of hiding, and only seeing pure static he walked down to the water dispenser. "welcome to the watering hole, come here to wet your whistle?" said a senile old man drinking from a cup of water in .02 second intervals. "I came here to wet something else motherfucker" Chief woke up and looked into the eyes of Trixie. "TRDRDRDRDRDRDRDRDRDRDRDRDRIXIE" said Trixie "Shut the fuck up and let me out of here." Replied Chief "I can't let you off that easily "Said Trixie "Well what do you want?" "I wanna fuck." "Okay" Replied chief as he stuck his 3" penis into her virginia. "That doesn't feel good" said Trixie as she stabbed him in the throat. "HRGLRHRLHHGHRLHGLHRLG" Replied Chief as he died by his least favorite pony.