Cheerilee And The Rise Of The Monarch

Chapters

Vacation Truncation
Dynastic Disharmony
Teaching Somepony A Lesson

Vacation Truncation

"AAAAAHHHHH!" Rarity screamed, staring down in horror at a copy of Vanity Mare magazine. "'A clashed mishmash of trash?'" she read. "'Reflects the style sense of a three-year-old?' 'Makes Hoity Toity roll over in his grave, even though he isn't dead yet?'" She flung the magazine against the wall and collapsed onto a nearby couch. "Of all the things that could happen to me," she sobbed, "this is the...worst...possible...thing!"

"Rarity?" Fluttershy peeked her head in through the front door. "Is everything okay? I heard you scream, and..."

WHAM! Rarity wrapped her copy of Vanity Mare around Fluttershy's face. "Look!" Rarity instructed. "Just look at what Ravishing Ruby wrote in this month's 'Critic's Corner'! She...she called my summer collection an absolute disgrace, and said it wasn't fit to make a mule wear!"

"Oh my!" Fluttershy gasped. "That's just awful!"

"That isn't the half of it!" Rarity lamented. "Why, once this gets around Canterlot, my reputation as an up-and-coming designer will be ruined! I'll...I'll never sell another dress in Equestria ever again! I'll go down as the most reviled fashionista in history!"

"That's terrible!" Fluttershy declared. "Is there anything I can do?"

Rarity wiped her eyes and shook her head. "I'd just like to be alone for a while, if you don't mind," she requested.

"Oh...okay then," Fluttershy agreed, "If you need me for anything, just let me know." Fluttershy turned to leave, looking back sorrowfully at a depressed Rarity as she exited.

"I know what I can do," Fluttershy decided, as she approached the entrance to Sugar Cube Corner. "I'll pick up some sweets for Rarity. I know I always feel better after having a cookie or two."

Inside the shop, however, Fluttershy found the shelves and cases bare, with not a shred of edible goodness in the entire store. "I don't understand," Fluttershy wondered, spying Mrs. Cake as she entered from the back room. "What's going on?" she asked. "Are you making room for new inventory?"

"I'm afraid not, dearie," Mrs. Cake replied despondently. "We're shutting down for a few days to take care of some business in Canterlot."

"Business?" Fluttershy inquired.

"We just found out that somepony has filed a lawsuit against us in Canterlot district court," Mr. Cake elaborated as he entered the room. "Apparently he came here a lot for snacks as a foal, and now he weighs 400 pounds and is suing us for making him overweight!"

Mrs. Cake shook her head sadly. "We don't have the money for a court fight right now, with the twins and all...but if we lose, we could lose everything!"

"Gosh!" Fluttershy exclaimed. "That would be horrible, just horrible!" She watched as Mr. Cake tried in vain to comfort his wife, then wiped her eyes and left without saying a word.

"Gol-lee," Applejack commented, after listening to Pinkie Pie recount the Cake's tale of woe. "Seems like everypony in town's come down with a case of bad luck lately."

"Tell me about it!" an exasperated Twilight muttered, sticking her head out from behind a huge stack of papers. "I have to write a fifty-page essay for the new Dean of Finances at the princess's school, explaining why it's so important that I stay here in Ponyville exploring the magic of friendship! They're threatening to cut off my funding and drag me back to Canterlot!"

"And I gotta figure out what I'm gonna do to keep the farm afloat," Applejack chimed in. "Somepony contaminated a bunch of our apples and made a few ponies sick, and now no one wants to buy our food! We can't even give our crops away!"

"And Rainbow's still all mopey after having to sell her tickets to the Wonderbolts derby to pay for that streetlight she broke," Pinkie added. "Oh yeah, and the wall she crashed through...and those dishes she broke when she hit that cabinet...and the cabinet..."

"Girls! Girls!" Fluttershy called out, dashing into the library. "I really need your help - Rarity's feeling really bad about some critic saying bad things about her dresses, and..." She noticed the glum expressions looking back at her. "...oh...I'm sorry...am I interrupting something?" she asked.

"No, not really," Applejack answered. "It just sounds like Rarity's havin' the same kind of day we are, I guess."

"Argh!" Twilight flung her quill across the room. "What's wrong with people these days?" she demanded. "Scathing critiques? Tainted apples? Pithy lawsuits? Endless bureaucracy?" Twilight smacked her head down on the papers in front of her. "Sometimes it feels like we're just surrounded by a bunch of...of...trolls!" she complained.

"That's just the way it is these days," Applejack observed with a sigh. "Well, I best be gettin' back to the farm - those apples ain't gonna shake themselves out of the trees! ...even if we can't do anything with 'em once they're picked..."

"Is there anything I can do?" Fluttershy asked, as Applejack and Pinkie Pie headed for the door.

"Not really," Twilight concluded. "Like Applejack said...it is what it is."

"It is?" Fluttershy watched as her friends trudged off to their homes. "Well...it shouldn't be," she finally declared.

The next morning, Twilight awoke to the sound of somepony knocking at her door. "Who could that be, at this hour?" she muttered, rubbing her eyes.

"It's probably Pinkie Pie inviting us to a send-off party for the Cakes," Spike offered, without looking up from his bed or even opening his eyes.

Twilight sighed, climbed out of her bed, and made her way to the door. Standing there, however, was not Pinkie Pie, but the local schoolteacher Cheerilee. "Good morning, Twilight!" Cheerilee exclaimed happily.

"Good morning, Cheerilee," Twilight responded in kind. "What brings you here this morning?"

"Oh, nothing much, really," Cheerilee answered. "I was just on my way in to prepare today's lesson, and I remembered that I wanted to get a copy of Hoovington's 'History of Equestria' to show to the class!"

"Great idea," Twilight agreed. "It's a fantastic reference guide. I know we've got a copy of it here somewhere..."

"Twilight! Twilight!" All of a sudden, Fluttershy came racing into the library, bowling over Cheerilee in her exuberance. "Look at this!" she exclaimed, pulling an envelope from her bag. "I won! I won!" she declared.

"Won what?" Twilight inquired, using her magic to pull a letter from the envelope. "Dear Ms. Shy," Twilight read aloud, "congratulations on being selected as the winner of the Equestria Travel Bureau's Super-Fabulous Vacation Sweepstakes!"

"The grand prize is 7 days and 6 nights at the Berry Breeze Hotel for me and 6 friends!" Fluttershy squealed happily. "I can bring all of you along, even Spike!" Suddenly, she realized that somepony she hadn't planned on bringing along was listening. "Oh...um...well..." she stuttered as she looked over at Cheerilee, not exactly sure what to say. "I...I guess you could go too...if you wanted..."

Cheerilee smiled and shook her head. "I'm afraid my vacation isn't for another month!" she pointed out. "I wouldn't be able to go anyway. You and your friends should go - it'll be fun!"

"Gosh, Fluttershy, I don't know," Twilight hesitated, looking back at the piles of paper on her desk. "I've still got a lot of work to do for this essay, and you know how I feel about being tardy..."

"Oh, please come," Fluttershy implored. "It wouldn't be the same without you there."

"I think you should go, Twilight," Cheerilee encouraged. "Princess Celestia knows how hard you work and how seriously you take your studies - I think she'd understand."

"You think so?" Twilight considered the idea for a moment. "You know what?" she finally decided. "You're right! I've been working my tail off these last few months, and studies show that ponies who take occasional breaks are far more productive than those who don't. I deserve a rest!"

"Me too!" Spike declared, bouncing up from his bed and joining the conversation. "Do you know how hard it is to keep this place clean when somepony keeps reading all these books?" The comment drew an unamused glare from Twilight, but Spike ignored it. "Thanks, Fluttershy," he offered, giving the pegasus a hug. "You're the best."

As luck would have it, the hotel reservations were scheduled to begin the very next day, leading to a frantic 24 hours as Fluttershy spread the word and her friends hastily prepared for their getaway. In no time at all, the ponies found themselves waiting for a train to take them to paradise.

"Aw, yeah," Rainbow Dash declared, "this is gonna be epic! The only thing better than a day at the beach...is a week at the beach!"

"What are you going to do, Rainbow?" Twilight asked. "Swim? Surf? Play beach volleyball?"

"Heck no!" Rainbow pointed to her bag, which a pair of bellhop ponies were struggling to load into a luggage cart. "I've still got, like, 25 more Daring-Do books to read!"

"What about you, Applejack?" Twilight inquired. "Are you sure the rest of the Apple family won't need you here at home?"

"Are you kiddin'?" Applejack answered, gesturing towards a huge bushel of apples sitting next to her. "This here's gonna be a working vacation for me! Why, if I can drum up some business with the vacationing crowd, we'll be able to stay in business and save the farm!"

"That's great! ...Even if it kind of misses the point of the trip," Twilight commented.

"I plan on working through this trip as well," Rarity added, looking absolutely stunning in one of her new summer designs. "Once those other ponies see my designs in person, they'll be clamoring for their very own copy, and forget all about Ravishing Ruby and her petty little prose."

"And how about..." Twilight stopped short upon seeing Pinkie Pie wearing an inner tube and a pair of oversized sunglasses. "Never mind - I know what you'll be doing," she observed.

"Hello, girls!" Cheerilee called out, walking up to the train platform to see her friends off. "Are you all excited for your trip?"

"Oh, yes!" Fluttershy answered. "We're going to have a great time, I just know it!"

"It's always a great time when your friends are around," Twilight declared, as the sound of a whistle in the distance announced the arrival of the ponies' train. "It's almost here!" Twilight shouted happily, turning back to Cheerilee. "Now, Cheerilee, are you sure you'll be okay running both the school and the library while we're gone?"

"Of course!" Cheerilee replied with a smile. "You just go enjoy your trip, and don't worry about a thing!"

Finally, the train pulled up to the station, and Twilight and her friends hopped on board. "Don't forget to send me a postcard!" Cheerilee requested, waving as the train left the station and set off for the Berry Breeze Hotel.

On the train, the seven vacationers found themselves riding in a luxurious private car. "Now this is what I call traveling!" Spike declared, jumping up on one of the beds.

"I agree," Rarity announced, feeling the sheets with her hoof. "This fabric is simply luxurious!"

"Check it out!" Pinkie Pie shouted, pointing at a glass skylight in the ceiling. "We've got a sunroof!"

Twilight looked out the window, and couldn't help but smile as she watched the landscape fly by. "You were right, Fluttershy," she remarked. "This trip is so gonna be worth it."

Fluttershy simply smiled in response.

From outside, however, two buzzards sitting in a dead tree watched stoically as the train passed by. Spying the fillies' cabin, the birds exchanged a nod, then leaped into the air and glided over to the train, picking up some mysterious sacks hanging from a nearby branch as they flew.

Cracking open the first of her Daring-Do books, Rainbow Dash suddenly found her light obscured by a large shadow. "What the hay?" she wondered, looking up to see the first buzzard as he aligned himself with the cabin's skylight.

Finding himself in position, the buzzard released his cargo. "Whoa!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed, diving out of the way as the sack smashed through the skylight and landed hard on the floor of the car.

"What in the world is that?" Applejack asked, as the group stared nervously at the sack.

"Maybe it's room service!" Pinkie Pie suggested, drawing an eye roll from everyone else in the room as she stuck her head in the sack. "Aw..." Pinkie groaned, pulling out a huge rock. "It's just a boring old sedimentary rock." She tested it with her teeth. "Ugh!" she declared. "It's not even a quality rock, either. We grew much better rocks on our farm back home."

"Why would some bird drop a huge rock into our car?" Twilight wondered. Unfortunately, her question was quickly answered by a second shadow appearing from above.

"Incoming!" Spike shouted, pointing up as the second buzzard dropped his sack through the shattered skylight.

"Another rock?" Twilight hypothesized, as the bag hit the floor.

Pinkie Pie stuck her head into the bag, but immediately pulled it back out. "GET DOWN!" she shouted, jumping at Rarity and knocking her to the ground. "SHE'S GONNA BLOW!"

"Oh no!" Twilight shrieked. "Is it a bomb?"

"Worse..." Pinkie Pie explained, just as a pair of skunks emerged from the bag.

"AAAHHH!!!" The combined screams of the ponies quickly dissolved into a cacophony of coughs as the skunks proceeded to do what skunks do best, filling the car with their foul odor. One by one, the ponies collapsed, overcome by the powerful scent.

"Put them in the bags," a voice rasped from above the action. As the skunks complied and began collecting their victims, a new shadow appeared through the skylight, as a frightening-looking pegasus pony, clad in tight black leather from head to hoof, stood watch on the roof of the train. "Excellent," the pony declared, tapping their hooves together evilly. "With the wielders of the Elements of Harmony out of the way, there is no one left who can stop me."

A flock of buzzards now swarmed around the train car, landing on the roof and jumping through the skylight to collect the pony-filled bags (with a dragon thrown in for variety). "Come!" the evil pony ordered, leaping into the air and flying off towards the horizon with their buzzards in tow. "Now...on to Canterlot!" the pony screeched. "Our pretty princess is in for an unpleasant surprise..."

Dynastic Disharmony

"Wow..." Scootaloo's voice trailed off as she gazed at the picture of Berry Breeze Hotel on Sweetie Belle's desk. "Is that where Rainbow Dash and everypony went for their vacation?"

"Yes indeedy!" Sweetie Belle confirmed. "Doesn't it look beautiful?"

"I wish we could've gone with 'em," Apple Bloom pouted. "I'll bet we coulda figured out what our special talents were over there."

"All right now, class, settle down!" Cheerilee requested, walking up to the front of the room. "It's time to start our lesson about Equestrian history!"

"Borrrrrring..." Diamond Tiara muttered, rolling her eyes.

"First," Cheerilee began, "let's start with a quick lesson about governments. Can anypony tell me what form of government Equestria has?" She smiled as a few hooves went up. "Let's see now...Scootaloo?"

"It's an autocracy!" Scootaloo offered innocently. "You know, where one pony has all the power and can do whatever they want, and they don't have to listen to anypony?"

"Well..." Cheerilee laughed nervously, "That's wasn't quite the answer I was looking for."

"Ain't it an olive-garchy now?" Apple Bloom chimed in. "You know, since Princess Luna's back from the moon and all."

"That's oligarchy," Cheerilee corrected her student, "and no, I wouldn't..."

"Ooh! Ooh! Maybe it's a theocracy!" Sweetie Belle suggested. "You know, since everypony thanks Princess Celestia for everything."

"Actually, girls," Cheerilee interrupted, in an attempt to steer the conversation, "Equestria operates under a form of government called a monarchy. This is where power is held by a ruling family, and passed down through successive generations."

"Ohhhh..." The Cutie Mark Crusaders replied in unison.

"Of course, this wasn't always how things worked," Cheerilee explained, drawing three circles on the board. "Long, long ago, unicorns, pegusi, and earth ponies lived as separate tribes, with only a loose agreement between the three to cooperate. As a result, it was a time filled with mistrust and resentment."

"Wow...things have sure changed since then," Scootaloo muttered sarcastically, glancing over at Diamond Tiara.

"Er...Miss Cheerilee?" a voice called from the back of the class.

"Yes, Twist?" Cheerilee asked her bespectacled questioner.

"How did Princess Celestia become a princess?" Twist inquired.

"It happened when she and her sister overthrew a cruel trickster named Discord," Cheerilee answered. "They assumed stewardship of the land after they imprisoned him."

"A hostile takeover!" Scootaloo gushed. "How cool is that?"

"But that was a long time ago!" Silver Spoon pointed out. "How old is the princess, anyway?"

"And who's next in line for the throne if something happens to her?" Diamond Tiara added, secretly hoping it would somehow be her.

"To be honest," Cheerilee noted, "it's not really polite to ask a pony about her age, so no one really knows for sure how old Princess Celestia is, nor who would succeed her if she ever gave up her title. Princess Luna is close to her sister's age, and the two would most likely leave together."

"Gosh!" Apple Bloom exclaimed. "You mean if somethin' ever happened to the princess, like when she got captured by Nightmare Moon, we wouldn't have anypony to rule Equestria? Does that seem like a problem to anypony else?"

"Don't worry, Apple Bloom," Cheerilee reassured her student. "The princess has been a strong, benevolent ruler for many years now, and if you ask me, she'll be the same strong, benevolent pony for many more."

Two guards stood at attention at the main gate of Canterlot Castle, watching as ponies hurried along the road to superficially-important engagements. "See anything suspicious yet?" the first guard asked.

"No," the second guard responded sternly.

The guards stood in silence for another few seconds. "How about now?" the first guard asked again.

"For the three-hundred-and-forty-sixth time, I haven't seen anything suspicious!" the second guard declared. "I've never seen anything suspicious before, I don't see anything now, and I'll probably never see anything suspicious in the future!"

"Aw, man," the first guard muttered. "This is the most boring job ever."

Suddenly, the song of a robin came floating over the wind. "You hear that?" the second guard asked rhetorically. "When you're in this line of work, you have to learn to appreciate the little things you hear and see, like a bird's song, or a group of colts and fillies playing football in the street."

"Football?" The first guard arched his eyebrow. "Don't you mean soccer?"

"Just listen to the stupid bird, rookie," the second guard ordered.

The first guard shrugged and did as he was told, listening as the robin worked his way through a sweet, springy number. Soon, more birds began to join in, and within minutes, the one-bird song had turned into a forty-bird choir production, complete with four-part harmony. "Wow..." the first guard mused. "You know, you're right! I've never heard the birds sing like this before!"

The second guard grimaced, and listened in for a few moments. "You know," he finally offered, "neither have I. That seems awfully suspicious."

"What's that?" the first guard asked, too wrapped up in the song to listen.

"I said it seems awfully sus..." The second guard tried to repeat himself, but was cut off by virtue of being whacked over the head by a mysterious assailant.

"What the..." the first guard uttered, turning around just in time to see the attacker - the same pony who had kidnapped Twilight and company from the train - aiming a roundhouse kick at his nose. "Not in the face!" he screamed.

The attacker stopped, shrugged, and planted their back hooves into the side of the guard, sending him crashing up against the castle wall. "Thanks..." the guard acknowledged, before losing consciousness.

Before anypony else could react, the pony ducked inside the castle, slinking down hallways, creeping up stairs, and avoiding castle guards en route to the castle throne room. Finally arriving at the throne room entrance, the intruder carefully cracked open the door and peeked to see who was inside.

As it so happened, there was one pony sitting in the throne room: Princess Celestia herself. Having finished her royal duties for the day, the Princess now relaxed with a cup of tea while watching the sunset and partaking in one of her favorite hobbies.

"This is gonna be hilarious," Celestia chuckled to herself, as she took another sip of tea and started drawing out her plan. "First, the decoy: We put a banana peel where Luna is sure to notice it on her way to breakfast. She'll pick and up and start gloating how I'll need to do better than that...and never notice the bucket of water I have balanced on the kitchen door. WHAM!" Celestia scribbled all over her stick-figure of Luna with a blue crayon. "Soaking wet and clueless," she chortled.

Suddenly, the creak of a door opening echoed through the chamber. "What's that?" Celestia asked. "Who's there?" Noticing that the front door to the throne room had been opened, she stood up and walked over to see who was there, but found no one. "Strange," the princess muttered to herself.

Hearing another sound behind her, Celestia turned to see that a window had opened up in the throne room, letting in the sorrowful howl of the breeze. "Good grief," Celestia muttered, walking over to close the window. "Oh dearie me," she declared in a high squeaky voice. "First the door opened by itself, and now the window? How creepy!" She shook her head as she closed the window with her magic. "Seriously, Luna, if you really think you can scare me like that..."

"I'm not Luna," an evil voice answered from behind the princess.

"Huh?" The princess wheeled on the intruder. "What are you doing..."

"BANZAI!" the attacker shouted, leaping at the princess. A fierce melee ensued, as the princess and marauder dueled their way around the room.

"Who do you...think you are?" the princess demanded, as she traded punches and parries with her assailant. "I'm Princess...flipping...Celestia, dang it! I am the...most...powerful...pony...around!"

"Haven't you gotten the memo?" the attacker taunted. "Royal families are so last millennium. You're as out of date as the VCR!"

"Date this, jerkface!" Celestia raged, throwing a right hoof that would have made Manny Pacquiao proud (had it connected).

Despite her pronouncements, however, when the dust finally settled, it was Princess Celestia who found herself bound and blindfolded in the middle of the room. "This is outrageous!" she proclaimed. "Weren't you even listening? I'm the boss around here! The big cheese! The head honcho! The alpha and the omega!"

"Times are changing, my dear princess," the evil pony announced, dragging Celestia over to the door to the closet containing the Elements of Harmony. "Now!" the pony ordered, jamming the princess's horn into the door lock. "Open this door, and give me the elements!"

"Take a long walk off a short cloud!" the princess spat back. "Help! Somepony! Anypony!"

"Go ahead, princess," the evil pony chortled, "scream all you want. I, for one, would love to know what Luna would say if she saw you like this. It's your choice - turn over the elements, or try to explain to your sister why you're wrapped up like a Hearth's Warming Eve gift after getting owned by a mere pegasus."

Celestia flinched at the realization. "Curses," she muttered. "Fine - you win."

An evil smile crossed the intruder's face as Celestia used her magic to open the door. "At last!" the pony cried, seizing the chest containing the Elements of Harmony. "With these elements, I shall be unstoppable! The dawn of a new era is at hoof!" The evil pony let loose a suitably-evil laugh, and removed Twilight's tiara from the box of elements.

"Who...who are you?" the princess asked nervously.

"You may call me...the Monarch," the masked pony decided, donning the tiara. "The successor to Princess Celestia and new supreme ruler of Equestria." Walking over to the window, the Monarch looked out over the city of Canterlot and the surrounding landscape. "Tsk, tsk, princess," the Monarch observed, "I must say, you've really let this place go, haven't you? All this hatred and selfishness and needless suffering..." The evil pony looked to the sky, grinning at the birds, bees, and other animals that had begun to circle overhead. "But that's all in the past now," the pegasus declared, turning back to Celestia. "Today marks the beginning of a new world order, one free of strife and hardship...and senseless trolls like you."

Celestia's eyes began to widen. "Maybe calling for help was the better option after all..." she realized.

"It's far too late for that now," the Monarch announced, as two buzzards flew in through the window carrying a princess-sized bag. "The journey to a brave new world begins now, and all of the pain you and your subjects have brazenly distributed is about to come home to roost."

"Phew!" Cheerilee breathed a sigh of relief as she walked through the library door. "Another school day in the books!" she declared, plopping down in the nearest chair. "I swear, those fillies get more and more rambunctious every day!" She yawned, stretched, and pulled a newspaper out of her bag. "Now I can finally relax," she proclaimed.

Right on cue, a loud scream cut through the peaceful silence of the library. "Get away! Stay back!" a voice cried out from the street. "Somepony help me!"

"That sounds like the mayor!" Cheerilee deduced, throwing her paper aside and dashing to the window. Sure enough, Cheerilee looked out to see the mayor of Ponyville running as fast as her hooves could carry her, with a ferocious-looking bull in hot pursuit.

"Please, sir! Allow us to talk this out like civilized ponies!" the mayor requested as she ran. The bull, however, ignored her pleas, and continued to chase her down the street.

"Oh no!" Cheerilee shouted. "She needs help!" Looking frantically around the room, she spied a red curtain hanging in one of the windows. She rushed over and pulled the curtain down, then dragged it out into the street, cutting in between houses to head the mayor - and the bull - off at the pass.

The shortcut paid off, and Cheerilee soon found herself ahead of the chase. "Yoohoo! Mr. Bull!" she called to the bull, waving the red curtain. "Look what I've got!"

Spying the curtain, the bull slammed on the brakes, skidding as it turned, and charted a new course towards the pony matador. "That's right!" Cheerilee goaded the bull. "Come and get it!"

Steam starting pouring out of the bull's ears as it closed in on its prey. At the last moment, however, Cheerilee spun out of the way, and the bull passed under the curtain...and rammed face-first into the side of a house, knocking himself unconscious. "I hope that teaches you to play nice next time!" Cheerilee scolded the senseless bull.

"My word!" the mayor declared, as she approached Cheerilee. "That was incredible! I cannot thank you enough for coming to my rescue, Cheerilee!"

"Oh, it was nothing," Cheerilee declared. "I'd read a lot of stories about ponies who fought with bulls like that, and always wanted to give it a try!"

"Nevertheless," the mayor continued, "thanks to you, Ponyvilians can rest easy knowing the crisis has passed."

"Er..." Cheerilee hesitated, pointing up at the sky, "I don't think we're out of the woods just yet."

The mayor's jaw dropped as she looked up to see a flock of angry birds swarming the skies, divebombing ponies and dropping rocks and makeshift Molotov cocktails on the town. "Good heavens!" she shrieked. "We're under attack! We have to take cover immediately!"

Cheerilee and the mayor raced back through town while dodging birds, boulders, and a marauding band of belligerent bovines, finally making it to the relative safety of the library. "Good gracious!" the mayor exclaimed, as she tried to douse a pile of burning books. "What's happening out there? What has gotten into all those animals?"

Cheerilee spotted a note attached to one of the rocks that had been thrown through a window. "Look at this!" she announced, unfolding the note and reading its contents. "'Citizens of Equestria,'" she read aloud, "'let it be known that a new dynasty has been born in our fair land, sweeping away the old order of corruption and cruelty and establishing a new era of harmony and justice! Join us in establishing our brave new world, or face our wrath and be thrown away with the garbage of the past.'"

"This is harmony and justice?" the mayor questioned, gesturing to the chaos unfolding outside. "What kind of deluded foal is behind all this?"

"The note is signed by somepony called 'The Monarch,'" Cheerilee informed the mayor. "Who in the world could that be?"

Another rock smashed through one of the windows. "Oh dear!" the mayor panicked. "Whatever shall we do?"

"I don't know," Cheerilee admitted, "but we'd better think of something, and fast."

Teaching Somepony A Lesson

"Order! Order!" the mayor pleaded to the small group of Ponyvilians gathered in the basement of the library. "I've called you all here today to discuss an urgent matter that I'm sure you're all aware of."

"Eeyup," Big Macintosh confirmed.

"An evil pony has declared war on Equestria, and placed our town under siege!" the mayor went on. "We've attempted to send word of our plight to Princess Celestia, but have yet to receive an answer."

"That's because somepony lost the letter before we could send it," Bon Bon muttered, giving the evil eye to a bluish-gray pony with a group of bubbles as her cutie mark.

"I'm sure it's in here somewhere!" the bubble-cutie-marked pony insisted, digging through her bag.

"Granny Smith," the mayor inquired, "you've been here longer than any other pony - have you ever seen anything like this?"

"Of course!" Granny Smith proclaimed, glancing around the room. "If you've seen one basement, you've seen 'em all."

"No, I mean the...never mind." The mayor facehooved. "What are we going to do?"

"It's hopeless!" Daisy screeched, toppling to the floor. "We're doomed! Doomed, I say!"

Cheerilee stared back up the stairs, listening to the sounds of destruction coming from above. "We'll just have to send a personal envoy to Canterlot!" she declared. "The princess will surely know what to do!"

"An excellent idea, Cheerilee!" the mayor agreed. "Thank you so much for volunteering to embark on this dangerous mission!"

"Wait, I didn't..." Cheerilee looked back at the rest of the ponies, who had backed into the far corner of the room and broke out their best 'please?' faces. "...Fine," Cheerilee decided. "For the future of Ponyville...I will go to see the princess."

"Fantastic!" the mayor exclaimed, ducking underneath a nearby chair. "Let us know how it goes, will you?"

Cheerilee sighed, and headed back upstairs. She wasn't sure how she would accomplish her mission, but she knew she must...or else.

Cheerilee peered out through the library window, watching as roving bands of lions, tigers, and bears roamed the streets. "Come on, girl, think!" she demanded, pounding the side of her head. "How am I going to get to Canterlot fast enough to keep this town from being destroyed?"

Suddenly, a lightbulb went off in her head. "That's it!" she realized, dashing out of the library, darting from building to building to avoid detection, and finally making her way to a rundown shack on the outskirts of town. Pushing open the door, Cheerilee found the structure empty, save for an inebriated pony in a straw hat tipping back a glass jug full of clear liquid. "Well, I'll be!" the pony slurred. "'Ow are ya, Miss *hic* Cheery?"

"Just fine, Ninety Proof," Cheerilee answered, setting a hoofful of bits on a nearby table. "I'm gonna need two barrels of your best stuff. It's for a special occasion."

"Sure thing, *hic* miss!" Ninety Proof gestured to a stack of barrels in the corner of the room. "Take whichever ones ya want - it makes *hic* any occasion a special one!"

"Right...thanks, NP." Cheerilee picked out two barrels and rolled them out of the shack. Taking extra care not to be seen, Cheerilee made her way to the train station, where the engine had been tipped over and was out of commission. Spying a hoof car sitting next to a maintenance shed, Cheerilee pushed her liquor barrels over to it and secured them to the sides of the car with a loose piece of rope. Jamming some small rope fragments into the barrels, she started pushing the car towards the rails.

Suddenly, a loud snort behind her made Cheerilee spin around...just to time to see the slightly-dazed bull she had duped earlier glaring at her and preparing to charge. "Just freaking perfect," she muttered.

With an irritated moo, the bull rushed towards Cheerilee. After taking a moment to think, Cheerilee jumped up onto the hoof car and blew a raspberry at the bull. "Come and get me, big boy!" she shouted. The taunt only made the bull ran faster, but Cheerilee calmly pulled the ropes holding her barrels tight, and hoped Ninety Proof used quality barrels.

WHAM! The force of the bull slamming into the hoof car sent pony, barrels, and car flying through the air. Trying to gauge her landing point, Cheerilee leaned to one side to change her flight path, and ending up executing a perfect four-point landing onto the railroad tracks. "Well, that's one problem solved," she declared, reaching into her bag and pulling out a box of matches. "Now let's hope this rope burns quickly..."

After shaking the stars from his vision, the bull regained his bearings, located his target, and charged again. Striking a match and lighting the strands of rope in the barrels, Cheerilee nibbled nervously on her hooves as the bull closed in. "Come on..." she chanted at her makeshift fuses. "Come on..."

Arriving at his destination, the bull decided his previous method of attacking was ineffective, and instead leaped into the air, preparing to execute a massive body slam on his prey. "YAHHH!" Cheerilee screamed.

BOOM! In the nick of time, the burning fuses reached the alcohol in the barrels, setting off a massive explosion that sent Cheerilee and her hoof car rocketing down the rails, while leaving the bull with nothing but a singed face. "YES!" Cheerilee shouted happily, hanging on for dear life as her speed approached the sound barrier. "Next stop, Canterlot!"

As it turned out, Ninety Proof had done an extra-exceptional job of distilling his wares this time, and the force of the blast carried Cheerilee all the way to the Canterlot station. What she found there, however, was worse than she had imagined: Chaos reigned in the city, as ponies and animals clashed in the streets amidst smashed storefront widows and the charred remnants of overturned carts. "Yeah...this whole 'harmony and justice' thing is getting off to a great start," Cheerilee deadpanned.

Cheerilee began making her way to Canterlot Castle, running from house to house to avoid the angry mobs now patrolling the streets. Upon reaching her destination, however, she found the castle completely locked down, with the drawbridge raised and several menacing-looking creatures standing guard at every door. "Blast it all," she muttered. "I'll bet my right hoof that the princess is trapped in there somewhere...but how do I get in?"

Cheerilee looked up at the walls of the castle, then over at a nearby lamp post. "I wonder..." she whispered to herself. "If I got that rope from the cart..." Quickly working through the math in her head, she decided it was worth a shot, and turned back towards the train station...only to find herself face-to-face with four snarling Diamond Dogs.

"Hold it right there!" one of the dogs commanded. "All ponies are to be taken to the disposal site in Canterlot Stadium, by order of Master Monarch!"

"Disposal site?" Cheerilee repeated. "What are you talking about?"

"We're getting rid of all the pretty ponies!" another dog squealed. "From now on, Master Monarch says we get to run Canterlot! ...Er, that is, if we promise to be nice."

"I see...and getting 'rid' of ponies qualifies as nice...how?" Cheerilee inquired.

"Enough!" the first dog dictated. "Less talk, more moving!"

"Lemme think about this for a second...no," Cheerilee decided.

"The we make you move!" the first dog ordered. "Get her!"

As the dogs raced in to attack, Cheerilee sighed. "If I must..." she declared, taking a deep breath...and letting loose a primal scream as she leaped at her attackers.

POW! BAM! ZAP! The fight lasted all of forty-five seconds (and came complete with Batman-style battle graphics), as Cheerilee unleashed a flurry of punches, kicks, and kung fu chops on her unwitting opponents. The dogs found themselves routed in short order, and quickly fled with their tails between their legs.

"Phew!" Cheerilee breathed a sigh of relief and continued on her way. "I'll have to thank Twilight for recommending those books about ancient martial arts," she noted. "They turned out to be both fascinating and practical!"

In no time at all, Cheerilee retraced her steps to the train station, retrieved the rope she had used to tie down the liquor barrels, and hurried back to the castle. Selecting a suitable house near the lamp post she had targeted, she collected whatever loose debris she could find into a large pile next to the house's outer wall, granting her access to the roof.

Once atop the house, Cheerilee fashioned her rope into a makeshift lasso. "Okay, Cheerilee," she told herself, "you can do this. Just remember what Applejack said during that rodeo seminar..." Swinging the lasso over her head, she took aim and flung the loop towards the lamp post...missing by a good ten feet. "This is going to take a while, isn't it?" Cheerilee muttered.

Luckily for Cheerilee, 'a while' turned out to be just five more throws, as the rope finally hit its mark and looped around the top of the post. "Perfect," Cheerilee proclaimed, pulling the loop taught atop the pole. "Now I just have to..." She gulped as she looked down at the ground, then up at the castle wall. "...do my best Daring-Do impression," she moaned.

At this point, the enormity of the situation finally started to hit the schoolteacher. "Good grief, girl," Cheerilee realized, "do you realize what you're trying to do? You're trying to break into Canterlot Castle and stop some mad pony from taking over Equestria!" She shook her head at the thought. "Are you sure you're up for this?" she asked herself.

The raspy sound of a buzzard's call as he glided in to attack told Cheerilee the time for introspection was over. "Yipes!" she shrieked, tightening her grip on the rope and leaping off the roof.

As luck would have it, both Cheerilee's rope and math held fast, and the pony swung down past the lamp post, brushing her tail on the ground as she went by, and launched herself towards the castle wall. "Here we go!" she shouted, letting go of the rope and flying through the air, then executing a perfect pole-vaulter flip over the top of the wall and landing hard in the courtyard on the other side.

Cheerilee quickly rolled into a bush and hid, waiting as the buzzard circled overhead trying to locate her. Finally, he gave up and flew away, freeing Cheerilee to race over to the courtyard door. "I guess it doesn't matter whether I'm up to this or not," she declared. "I'm here, and I'm going to teach this Monarch pony a lesson in manners, government, or maybe both."

"Uhhhh..." Twilight groaned, as she finally regained consciousness. Reaching up to rub her eyes, she discovered that she was tied down on top of a table, with what looked like a jumper cable attached to her horn. "What's going on here?" she called out. "Where am I?"

"You are awake at last." Twilight picked her head up to see the Monarch looking down at her from a nearby stairwell. "I suppose I should apologize," the Monarch offered. "The scent of the skunk was much stronger than I had anticipated."

"Who are you?" Twilight demanded. "Where are my friends?"

"Well, one of them is over there," the Monarch explained, gesturing to the next table over, where a still-unconscious Rarity was bound in a similar setup. "And I believe you know our former ruler, Princess Celestia," the Monarch added, pointing to the far corner of the room.

Twilight gasped as the sight of the unconscious princess locked within an iron cage. She looked back at the Monarch with an angry glare. "Where are the others?" she shouted.

"They have been...dealt with," the Monarch announced. "I do not require the services of mere earth ponies, or pegasi, or baby dragons. Unicorns, on the other hoof, have a special place in my plan."

"What do you mean, 'plan'?" Twilight probed, starting to break out in a cold sweat. "What do you want from us?"

"Behold!" the Monarch dictated, pointing to a large cannon-like structure hanging above the ponies. "Say hello to the Super-Duper-Fantastically-Awesome Harmony Laser 3000!"

"Harmony...laser?" Twilight repeated. "Pardon me for asking, your nastiness..."

"That's right! I never did your first question, did I?" The Monarch unleashed an evil laugh that made Twilight's blood run cold. "You, my dear academic, are in the presence of Queen Monarch I, new ruler of Equestria! Or should I say...Equtopia!"

"Equ-what?" Twilight sputtered. "What are you talking about?"

The Monarch pointed back to her laser. "Isn't it lovely?" she asked rhetorically. "With this laser, I have the power to remake the very fabric of Equestria itself, and create a whole new world of peace and goodwill!"

"You're gonna destroy Equestria?" Twilight exclaimed. "Not on my watch, pal!" She tried to activate her magic, but instead her powers were sucked up by the cable on her horn, which transferred it to a machine idling in another corner of the room.

"Isn't this thing a gas?" the Monarch laughed, as Twilight looked on helplessly. "I haven't had a chance to go through the classified works of the Equestrian Defense Department fully, but let me just say that this beauty is a keeper! All it takes is a little unicorn magic to activate its power source, and presto - instant weapon of mass destruction! Of course, when your power sources are the famed Elements of Harmony...suddenly reshaping the entire world is as easy as redecorating a living room!"

"But why?" Twilight probed. "Why are you doing this?"

"Because this world has existed long past its expiration date," the Monarch proclaimed. "Can't you smell the stench of the decay? This place is rotten to the core!" The Monarch looked longingly up to the sky. "But a new world..." she continued. "Think of it, Twilight! A world where no one starves or suffers...a world without hate or arrogance or greed! A world without needless bureaucracy or sue-crazed lunatics or over-critical nitpickers! A world...where everypony...is happy..."

"You're wrong!" Twilight insisted. "This world is not rotten! There's a lot of beauty and magic still to be discovered...and the real tragedy is that people like you want to destroy it!"

"You say that like I'm not going to use your magic to do my evil bidding," the Monarch remarked.

"Well...you're not!" Twilight countered. "I'll never help you with your nefarious plan!"

"Silly little foal," the Monarch chided. "I just said I needed your magic - I didn't say I needed it given willingly." She pulled out a remote control. "Allow me to demonstrate," she offered, pressing a button on the remote.

Instantly, a bolt of energy came shooting down the cable attached to Rarity's horn. "EEEYYYAAAHHH!" Rarity screamed, coming to life with a start as her horn began to glow uncontrollably.

"See?" the Monarch pointed out, as her evil machine came to life and began collecting Rarity's magical energy. "A good thirty minutes of that action, and I'm all set to start making my new world! And since I'm behind schedule already..." The Monarch pressed a few more buttons, activating her machine to drain the powers of both Twilight and Celestia.

"AAAHHH!" Twilight screamed, as the machine began sucking up her powers.

"One day, Twilight Sparkle," the Monarch muttered, as she walked back up the stairs to tend to her laser, "you'll see that I'm right. One day..."

Peeking out from the doorway, Cheerilee found the castle's main hall completely empty. "Okay, I'm in," she told herself. "Now, according to every spy novel and sci-fi thriller I've ever read, the villain is either at the very top of the castle, or in the deepest, dankest part of the dungeon...so do I go up or down?"

Suddenly, a faint sound hit Cheerilee's ear. "Wait a minute," she realized, "is that...screaming?" Determining that it was coming from farther down the hall, Cheerilee settled on a greedy algorithm for her path selection: follow the noise. "Hang on, girls!" she shouted. "I'm coming!"

Suddenly, a large Diamond Dog wearing a Spartan helmet blocked Cheerilee's path. "Halt!" the dog shouted. "No ponies are allowed..."

"Outta my way, lunkhead!" Cheerilee shouted, launching herself headfirst into the dog's gut and sending him sprawling to the floor. "I've got work to do!" she explained, leaping over the dog's fallen body.

Another dog approached from Cheerilee's left, leaping to tackle the schoolteacher. Spotting her pursuer, Cheerilee stuck out a hoof and executed a textbook stiff-arm, smashing the dog's face into the carpet. "You dogs don't listen any better than my students do!" Cheerilee quipped.

Finally, Cheerilee reached the castle's main foyer, where twelve more dogs stood ready for battle. "This is as far as you go, pony!" one dog snarled. "It's time to put you down!"

Cheerilee's eyes narrowed. "Fine - you wanna do this the hard way?" she inquired, flashing a 'bring it on' gesture with her hoof. "We'll do this the hard way."

Up in the main tower, the Monarch paced back and forth impatiently as her machine worked its magic. "Ugh!" she muttered. "I'd have brought my 'Pound Ponies' DVD up here with me if I knew it was going to take this long." She looked up at a nearby grandfather's clock. "7 more minutes," she whispered, staring intently at the clock hands. "6:59...6:58...6:57..."

Suddenly, the machine began making an odd sound, as if it were slowing down. "Good gravy, what now?" the Monarch groaned, walking over to the stairs to see if something was wrong with her machine. "I swear, if I have to call that stupid repairpony one more time, I'll...YOU!" The Monarch's eyes nearly bulged out of her head as she saw Cheerilee carefully removing the cable clamp from Twilight's horn. "What are you doing?" the Monarch cried. "Get away from there!"

Cheerilee spit the cable clamp onto the floor. "Dr. Monarch, I presume?" she asked. "Well, the jig is up - I don't know what you want or what you think you're doing, but if you think you can just waltz in here and take over Equestria, you've got another thing coming!"

"You know, I'm a little busy to have to explain my evil plan again," the Monarch muttered, reaching around and drawing a sword from her costume with her mouth. "Ahm juff gona haff teh kih yu insteh!" she declared, her speech muffled by her weapon.

"Yikes!" Cheerilee shouted, as the Monarch leaped from the stairs fully intending to cut the teacher to pieces. "Didn't your mother ever tell you not to speak with your mouth full?" she inquired, diving out of the way of the Monarch's sword.

"Shuh uh an dih!" the Monarch retorted, preparing to strike again.

Cheerilee jumped back to avoid the Monarch's wild hacks, looking around frantically for a weapon to defend herself with. Her luck finally ran out, however, and Cheerilee quickly found herself backed up against Celestia's cage with nowhere else to run.

"Ahm sorreh abah thih, ah realleh am," the Monarch apologized, raising her sword for a coup de grace.

Cheerilee gulped and closed her eyes, waiting for the end. After ten seconds of waiting, however, she heard the clang of a sword falling to the floor, and opened her eyes to see the Monarch being strangled by a set of jumper cables.

"Hit her!" Twilight shouted, using her freed horn to tighten the cables around the Monarch's neck. "Hurry up and hit her!"

"Oh...right." Cheerilee reared back and drilled the Monarch with a savage right hoof, turning out the evil pony's lights in a single blow.

"Finally!" Twilight remarked. "Now hurry up and get us out of here!"

"My pleasure," Cheerilee agreed, and in short order the evil machine was powered down, and Twilight, Rarity, and Princess Celestia were unhooked and unbound.

"Thank goodness!" Princess Celestia gushed. "It appears that Equestria is safe once again thanks to you and your friends, Twilight."

"Actually, princess," Twilight explained, "it was Cheerilee here who saved us. Without her, there's no way we could have stopped the Monarch."

"Well then," Princess Celestia decided, "it seems we owe you our thanks most of all, Cheerilee."

"It was nothing, really," Cheerilee commented. "I was just in the right place at the right time. Anypony in my hooves..." A concerning thought flashed through Cheerilee's mind. "Where are the others?" she asked nervously. "Oh gosh...were they...disposed of?"

"They're fine," Celestia assured the ponies. "The Monarch had them stowed away in the castle dungeon. I'll go down and get them - why don't you three deal with her?" Celestia gestured towards the fallen Monarch, who was starting to stir.

"With pleasure," Twilight agreed, as Celestia exited the room. "It's time to see who's really hiding behind that mask," she declared.

"I concur," Rarity added, "but I must admit, her wardrobe was rather stylish...as far as megalomaniacs go."

"Drumroll, please," Twilight requested, as she used her magic to unmask the villain before them.

Everypony's jaw hit the floor as the evil pony's identity was revealed. "F...F...Fluttershy?" Twilight finally managed to say. "You? You were the bad guy this whole time?"

"Oh...no!" Fluttershy insisted. "I...I'm not Fluttershy! I'm the...the evil Monarch! I'm big, and...and scary, and mean, and nasty, and..." Her emotions finally overwhelmed her, and she broke down and started sobbing.

"I don't understand, darling," Rarity remarked. "Of all the ponies in Equestria...why would you want to destroy the world?"

"B...B...Because this world is horrible, that's why!" Fluttershy proclaimed. "All those ponies out there, calling you names, and taking advantage of you, and making you jump through all these dumb hoops...they're all rotten, every last one of them!...That's why I wanted to do it."

"That's what this is about?" Cheerilee asked. "Look, Fluttershy, I know there are some awful ponies out there who do mean things to people, but most ponies out there are just like you and I! They're good, honest folks who genuinely want to do the right thing."

"Besides," Twilight chimed in, "these were our own problems, not something you should have had to worry about for us."

Fluttershy looked down at the ground and said nothing. "Oh dear," Rarity realized. "What happened to you?"

"I...I kinda got...evicted," Fluttershy finally revealed.

"Evicted?" Twilight's jaw hit the ground once more. "Why would you get evicted? Who would ever want to evict you?"

"S...Somepony complained that I had too many animals," Fluttershy explained, "and when I got back from the library that day, the...the health inspectors said my tree wasn't sanitary enough to live in!" Fluttershy teared up again at the memory. "They...they threw me out, and they took away all my animals, and..."

"And that's where the Monarch came from?" Cheerilee surmised.

Fluttershy hung her head. "I just got so...so frustrated with everything and everypony, that...that I just snapped, I guess. I...I made up the story about the vacation sweepstakes to set you up to be captured, and..."

"That's enough," Cheerilee declared, putting her hoof on Fluttershy's shoulder. "We understand."

"We most certainly do!" Twilight proclaimed."I think we should talk to the princess about these 'inspector' folks - I'm sure she can figure out a way to get you back in your tree!"

"Don't bother," Fluttershy moaned. "After all this, the princess will probably want to banish me, or throw me in a dungeon, or throw me in a dungeon in the place she banishes me too."

"Nonsense," Cheerilee disagreed. "The princess is a kind, understanding soul - I'm sure she'll forgive you."

"...unless you let Princess Luna see her while she was tied up," Twilight warned. "If you did that...all bets are off."

"Meh," Cheerilee commented. "I'm sure we could just tie up Luna as payback, right?"

This drew a laugh from the other ponies, and with that, they exited the tower and made their way down to the main foyer. Through the tower window as they left, the skies began to clear, and one could almost hear Pinkie Pie's voice drifting on the wind: "And that's how Equestria was saved!"