Rainbow Dash soared through the air. The wild winds whipped through her mane as she dodged cloud after cloud, making each and every ring with ease. The crowd was going wild with excitement, pushing Rainbow's smile even wider. It was only broken when another pegasus banged into her, launching her off course.
Through a spray of light gray feathers, Rainbow saw one of her opponents getting headway towards the finish line. That no good dirty cheater had another thing coming if he thought a little battering would keep Rainbow down. It was time to stop holding back. Rainbow thrusted her wings until she reached top speed. Water began drizzling out of her eyes, and she began to clip the edges of rings. It didn't matter. As long as she went through the things it still counted.
The steely pegasus cast his eye toward Rainbow, which instantly became enveloped in fear. They flew neck-in-neck. Rainbow barely bothered to look at him. She was far too focused on the checkered finish line up ahead. Then she was hit in the side again. If he wanted to play dirty, Rainbow was sure to oblige him. She bumped back into him, sending him careening into clouds below.
With a final speed burst Rainbow crossed the finish line to an avalanche of applause. Ponies held her up, and she was handed a bright golden trophy. Just another one to add to the shelf, Rainbow thought to herself.
"And that's how I won this," Rainbow said to the crowd at Sugarcube Corner. "You know, the usual."
"It never gets old," said Scootaloo.
Rainbow was just basking in all of the attention, only breaking her attention away from the crowd to look to her trophy. She had to make sure that it was still as awesome as she remembered it. And to her delight, it remained awesome. She was so enamored with the trophy that she almost didn't notice somepony entering the bakery. She probably wouldn't have if it was a lesser pony, but this was Alfred Hitchcolt.
"Is Rainbow Dash here?" he asked.
"Um yes," Rainbow said, getting up from her seat. "W-what is is somepony like you doing in Ponyville?"
"Ah, the trophy! There's the beauty," he said, putting his hoof on it and rubbing up and down. He turned towards Rainbow. "I saw your fantastic performance the other day. I mean, I've never quite seen a pegasus with your moves. And the resemblance is uncanny. Tell me, do you read Daring Do novels?"
"They're only my favorite books in all of Equestria," Rainbow said proudly until she looked around and saw the mixed reactions of the crowd.
"Did anypony ever tell you how much you look like her? I've been wanting to shoot a Daring Do movie for so long, and then I see you. Not only do you look so much like her, but you've got the perfect moves. If I cast you, I won't even have to find a stunt pony."
"Um what?" Rainbow said. She blinked.
"Rainbow Dash, I want you to be the star of the very first Daring Do movie," Alfred said, and he put his hoof around Rainbow's neck. "Think of it now, your face will be known throughout all of Equestria. Ponies will be lining up for your autograph."
Rainbow Dash couldn't see. She had stars in her eyes.
The next day, a bunch of ponies carrying wagons filled with all kinds of film paraphenalia had arrived near Ponyville, and set up camp near the edge of the Everfree. A unicorn was putting together a camera on a tripod. Some pegasi were soaring through the air getting just the right amount of sunlight. Alfred tilted his head as he stared into the Everfree.
"Um, what are you looking at?" Rainbow asked.
"Trying to find the best angle to—" said Alfred before he looked away. "Ah Miss Dash—I mean Miss Do, glad to see that you took me up on my offer. Let's get you into costume. Makeup, wardrobe, get Miss Dash ready for scene 15."
"Wait, why don't we start with scene one?" Rainbow asked.
Alfred responded only by laughing, as if Rainbow asked the funniest of jokes. Rainbow was about to ask again but she was pulled away by a couple of earth ponies. They brought her to a chair behind a wagon. Rainbow couldn't believe it—it actually had her name on it. She wanted to squee, but the ponies practically threw her onto the chair. Before she knew it she was getting yellowish-greenish powder poofed onto her face.
"What is going on here?" Twilight demanded, trotting up to the set. "Rainbow Dash, what are you doing?"
"Hey Twilight, I—"
"Miss Dash is getting ready to shoot a scene," said a pony holding the Daring Do costume. "She is not at liberty to speak right now. She's got a hard day of filming coming up, and she can't waste energy on petty conversation."
Rainbow Dash tried to say something once more, but felt a straw tossed into her mouth and the cool, refreshing taste of cider trickling down her throat. She mellowed down and started to drink straight from the straw, forgetting entirely what she was about to say. Twilight groaned and walked off. Rainbow tried to wave, but that seemed to be the signal to get her shoulders and wings massaged.
When the makeup department had finished, Rainbow was given a mirror to admire herself. Mr. Hitchcolt was right. The resemblance was amazing. If Rainbow had the jacket and the hat, she wouldn't be able to tell the difference. Until a sight of color caught her eyes. Her cutie mark was still the same old rainbow-bolt, until a pony slapped on a compass sticker. Then without even waiting for Rainbow to flinch, she used a brush to get the cutie mark to blend in perfectly.
Suddenly Rainbow's vision was obscured by the Daring Do hat. She lifted the rim to see another pony holding the jacket in front of her. Rainbow slid it on, and was immediately settled with a unicorn ironing it out with her magic. Every time Rainbow tried to ask a question she was given another shot of cider. That managed to keep her quiet. Then there was the part of the costume that surprised her: the sling.
"Why do I have to wear this?" Rainbow asked, as the costume department began working hard to secure it tightly around her wings.
"You've read the first Daring Do book haven't you?" one pony asked her. "Daring broke her wing in that one."
"But why does it have to be so tight—mhmhmhm..." Rainbow said, with cider dripping off her lips. A pony wiped away the spare drops.
"There's my Daring Do!" Alfred said, holding Rainbow's cheeks in his hands, causing her to blush. "You look perfect! Now listen carefully today we're going to be doing the scene where you swing on a vine over a river of crocodiles and run through the forest. If my calculations are correct, then the workers should have already set it up. Come on, let's go."
"Don't I need a script or something?" Rainbow asked. Alfred laughed again. This time it sounded noticeably creepier. Maybe it was because there was little to no reason for him to do so, but it sent a chill down Rainbow's spine.
The two of them walked through the Everfree Forest with Alfred's staff, stepping over rocks and twigs all the way there. Rainbow was too focused on Alfred to be concerned of her surroundings. He seemed to be in his own little world. He tilted his head and turned to the side frequently before bursting into random cackling. He also changed his speed at random before taking a look at the smallest details on the ground. Rainbow was having a tough time deciding whether he was a mad genius, or just plan mad. Her decision was made ten times easier when they finally made it to the set.
"You want me to swing over real crocodiles!?" Rainbow shouted.
There were some gasps amongst Alfred's staff. He looked intently at Rainbow, his lip quivering, and his brow parked in one of the angriest expressions that she had ever seen. Two ponies ran out from the staff and began to massage his wings. He let out a deep breath and began to speak in that same familiar voice.
"You don't spend much time around artists do you?" he asked. "You see, with us, everything has to be real. We need real fear, and the only way you get real fear is with real crocodiles. Besides, they're only petty reptiles. I doubt that they'd give you much trouble, even if you happened to fall in."
"What was tha—mhmhmhmhm"
Rainbow felt her neck tilted back as another pony poured cider down her throat. She almost completely ran out of breath before it stopped. The first thing she let out was a hiccup. With a smile, she looked back to the crocodiles. Those things scared her? Really. She's seen bigger, after all she was Daring Do—archeologist extrodinaire.
Alfred returned to that smile as he sat down in the director's chair. He eyed to the left and eyed to right before taking a deep breath and tapping his left hoof on the chair. A unicorn levitated a megaphone in front of his mouth. He waited another second before shouting action. Another unicorn began to wind up the camera.
Rainbow Dash looked to the vine. It seemed simple enough. All she had to do was swing across. She'd done tons of things like this before. This would be no biggy. The only question was which of the two vines she had to grab. They were wavering just a little too much to make Rainbow feel comfortable.
"Did you hear me? I said action!" Alfred shouted.
Rainbow took a deep breath and then broke into a run. She hobbled over pebbles as she got closer to the river. With one bound Rainbow hopped into the air and reached for the vine. She heard somepony gasp in the audience. As soon as Rainbow grabbed the vine, she looked around. Oh, it was Twilight. That was nice of her to visit. Rainbow waved at Twilight as the vine began its swing. Then she heard the vine snap.
Rainbow fell into the river and water splashed all around her. There was snapping. As soon as Rainbow returned to the surface she saw the crocodiles swimming towards them. Each of their four eyes looked really, really hungry. Rainbow struggled to fly out of the water but was hit with the realization that her wings her bound. She began splashing around awkwardly in an attempt to get to the shore, but the current caused her to toss and tumble in place.
"Aren't you going to do something?" Twilight asked, running onto the scene.
"Are you kidding?" Alfred asked. "This is gold. Look at the fear in her eyes. Look at the crocs swimming in. The questions running through your mind: is she going to make it out of there? Will the crocs get their first meal in a week? Is her life flashing through her eyes?"
"What is wrong with you!?" Twilight demanded.
"I'm an artist. It's what I do," Alfred snapped. "And who let this civillian on the set. Can somepony please escort her out of here."
Rainbow looked towards the crocodiles. They were almost there. Why wasn't anypony helping her? She wanted to look up to the shore, but she couldn't take her eyes off of the crocodiles rapidly approaching. When one of them were in reach, Rainbow tried to punch at it but only ended up hitting water. A crocodile opened its mouth and prepared to saver its snap. Rainbow closed her eyes in pure terror.
Then nothing happened.
Well something happened. Rainbow felt the water around her disappear. She opened her eyes to see the river getting further and further away and a purple aura surrounding her. Rainbow turned towards the shore and saw Twilight's horn glowing while she was fighting off about half a dozen ponies. Then with one quick motion, Rainbow was tossed onto the other side of the river.
"You simple, incompetant, simpleton!" Alfred shouted, tossing his chair to the side. He got up and stared at Twilight directly in the eyes. "Because of your interferance we're going to have to film all of this again!"
"But those crocodiles—"
"Had their teeth filed," Alfred replied. "They couldn't harm the gentlest of foals with those chompers. Now why don't you leave here and stop telling me how to do my job before I alert the authorities."
"Hi Twilight," Rainbow Dash said, waving her hoof. A couple of pegasi had carried her across the river.
"Is she... drunk?" Twilight asked. Rainbow's head was bobbing back and forth and the smell of apple mush was enough to make Twilight want to gag.
"Is she?" Alfred asked, not even taking his eyes away from Twilight.
Twilight groaned. She wasn't getting anywhere with this guy. She trotted through the Everfree Forest back to civilization, mumbling to herself all the way. This Alfred Hitchcolt clearly had a few screws loose if he thought it was a good business practice to get his star drunk and plunge her into a river of crocodiles, whether or not their teeth were filed.
Twilight began looking through her library, tossing books onto the floor until she found exactly what she was looking for: The Life and Times of Alfred Hitchcolt. She flipped page after page, only to make this pegasus more fishy than before. Alfred Hitchcolt's specialty was gory horror movies, why in Equestria was he filming an action-adventure? She had to find out.
As soon as the sun went down, Twilight was on the case. She looked towards Alfred's campsite. Several of his staff members were talking around a campfire, but Alfed was nowhere to be found. He must have been inside his wagon. Rainbow Dash was nowhere to be seen either. She must have gone home. Unless of course, a terrible accident had happened on set. Twilight shook her head. She couldn't let those kinds of thoughts get in the way of this mission.
Twilight began getting closer to the staff members, and their conversation began to gain substance. They were badmouthing Alfred and laughing about it, unfortunately it didn't give Twilight much more information than his creepy laugh and some new curse-words. Twilight looked around until she saw the wagons in the darkness. If there were any remaining clues to Alfred's true intentions, they'd be in there.
Twilight snuck up to a wagon, and the second she put her hoof on the door it lit up. Somepony was making a lot of noise inside. Twilight ducked behind a bush and waited. Alfred opened the door and looked right at Twilight's bush. He yawned, rubbed his eyes, and made his way towards the campsite.
This was Twilight's chance. She bolted forward into the wagon, closing the door gently behind her. She looked around. In the dark of the night she was unable to see anything beyond the silhouettes of debris. She didn't want to do this, but if she was going to find anything she had to. Twilight took a deep breath and let a spark of magic rise to the tip of her horn, creating the dullest light she possibly could.
The room was cast in a pale blue light just barely enough to see. Twilight got to work as quickly as she could, dashing forward to a desk. It seemed like the best place to start. There were dozens of papers scattered about. Twilight began to read.
Dear Alfred,
I'm leaving this note to you because you're the only one who still seems to care. If the news hasn't reached you yet, I lost another race. The smile of the rainbow-colored attention horse still plagues my nightmares. I was so close too, but she pushed me out of the way in the nick of time. Honestly the fact that she won hurts more than the plummet. The ground busted my wings something fierce. The doctors said I wouldn't be able to fly in at least a couple of months, and I'm definitely not able to race again with anything short of a miracle. Alfred, don't try to talk me out of it because I'm not going to listen. My cutie mark is for racing, and I can no longer do that. I have no purpose anymore.
—Steel Wing
Twilight covered her mouth in order to stop herself from gasping. Everything was beginning to come together in one of the worst possible ways. Maybe Alfred was telling the truth, maybe he wasn't, but Twilight couldn't take that chance. She couldn't let Rainbow go back on set again tomorrow.
"You're quite the curious little pixie," said that voice. Twilight didn't have to turn around in order to know it belonged to Alfred. "I suppose you're painting a macabre picture in your mind. The note, the accident. They come together to seem like I have the most heinous of motives, don't they?"
"I know a lot of magic," Twilight threatened.
"And I've plotted most elaborate murder mysteries ever put to film. You attack me now, I'll have you arrested for assault... on top of trespassing."
"Wait, what?"
"The police are already on their way to the site, searching for a lavender unicorn with a six-pointed star cutie mark. You're a very recognizable pony, perhaps if you weren't so insane then you'd make a perfect actress."
"What are you talking about?" Twilight demanded. She couldn't get out of here. Alfred was standing between her and the door.
"You're quite the fighter," Alfred said, ruffling up his mane and pulling feathers out of his wings. "It was quite the bloody battle I assure you. I don't exactly understand why you attacked me, but I can reach some conclusions. Perhaps you thought that I had a nefarious scheme for your friend. Or perhaps my films were far too convincing."
"What have you done to Rainbow?" Twilight demanded.
"I had my lackies show her a night on the town. However much cider she wants, completely on me. I can only imagine the dreadful hangover she'd be having tomorrow morning. I hope she's still able to do her own stunts."
That was it. Twilight broke into a run and smashed into Alfred, throwing him down onto the ground. She punched him in the eye, causing it to blacken, with red droplets dripping down. Twilight stopped when she realized what she had done. She hadn't punched him that hard, had she? Twilight backed up in horror until she stepped in something. It looked like blood. Alfred stood up and bit into his own wing, enough to draw blood of his own.
"Thank you for playing the pretty little fool," Alfred said shortly before the door to the wagon blasted open.
A couple of earth ponies began to grab hold of Twilight. She didn't dare fight back. She was too shocked by the incident to do anything anyway. It hit her how badly Alfred had bested her. That blood on the floor must have been fake. He must have been planning on her breaking into his wagon and finding the note.
"You'll never get away with this Alfred!" Twilight shouted. The police ponies looked quizzically at Alfred.
"I told you, I don't give away autographs. Why is it so hard to be famous these days?" Alfred asked.
"Do you want to go to the hospital?" asked one of the police ponies.
"She didn't do too much damage. I might not be able to fly tomorrow, but other than that I just need some rest. Thank you for your assistance officers."
The next morning the sun was shining brightly as Rainbow made her way onto the set. She was wearing a mellow smile and her Daring Do hat. The distant pounding in her head barely distracted her. Far more worrying was the duplicates of objects that had become triplicates wavering back and forth in her vision. She felt a wing placed around her.
"Yesterday didn't go quite so well," Alfred said, "but we'll make up for it. Today we're filming scene 37, the climax. You remember the scene, don't you? Daring Do is tied to a trap in a room with rising sand, spikes, and spiders."
"I'm ready for anything, Mister Mitchbolt," Rainbow said before she hiccuped. "After all, I'm Daring Dooo! Another day, another dungeon."
Alfred smiled and the two of them walked into through the Everfree to what appeared to be a large building. As they approached, Alfred opened the door and Rainbow managed to feel surprised despite her stupor. It was like he had stolen the scene right from the book. The only thing noticeably different was the missing ceiling so the cameras could show on through.
There was a whistle and Alfred's staff members got to work, pushing Rainbow Dash towards the table in the center of the room. As soon as she was lying down, they got to work tying her down. Alfred really went for authenticity: the harder Rainbow tried to struggle the tighter the ropes got.
"Break a leg," Alfred said as he left the room after his staff members.
The door closed behind him. There wasn't much else that Rainbow could do but wait for the action to start. She went tried to go through the scenario in her head before she hiccuped again and banged her head on the table below. Now it was really starting to hurt. Celestia, how much did she drink last night? No amount of scouring her mind could find the answer; those memories were missing.
"Lights, camera, action!" Alfred shouted.
Rainbow heard a click and then saw spikes beginning to protrude from the walls. On top of that Alfred's staff members were pouring in sand by the bucket. As the sand began to reach the top of the table, Alfred's instructions came to her mind. Rainbow needed to toss her hat off-camera and they would shut off the machine. Rainbow shook her head back in an attempt to pull off the maneuver she remembered reading about, but all that she managed to do was knock the hat off. In seconds the hat was buried in the sand below. Those spikes glistening in the midday sun were pretty hard to ignore as well.
"Mr. Hitchcolt," Rainbow pleaded, struggling to get out of the ropes. "How long before you stop the machine?"
"The lever's jammed," Alfred said angrily. "I can't stop it. Some moron stuck taffy in the the clockwork. Don't worry, we'll try to get you out before the spikes skewer you."
Before Rainbow could begin to panic, Alfred shouted out in pain as he fell into the spike room. The two of them looked up to see Twilight standing on Alfred's perch. Rainbow shouted for help which almost covered up Alfred's string of curses.
"I thought I had you arrested!" Alfred shouted.
"You did. I escaped," Twilight replied, cutting Rainbow's ropes with her magic. "Yeah I'll go to jail longer, but it's worth it to make sure you don't kill Rainbow."
"What are you talking about?" Rainbow asked, awkwardly flying up to the perch. The sun forced her to squint. Her head had never hurt this badly before.
"He tried to have you killed Rainbow. He's probably the one who broke this machine."
"Why would anypony want to kill me Twi?" Rainbow asked. She put a hoof on her head. Twilight whispered the answer in her ear. "Wait, what!?"
"Help me!" Alfred shouted. Twilight and Rainbow looked at him. He was desperately trying to push the walls back, getting pinched by the spikes as he did so. "My wing is still injured! I can't fly!"
Rainbow looked down to him. The spikes behind Alfred were practically piercing his tail by now, although it was hard to concentrate on anything with Rainbow's pounding head. She took a deep breath and dove down, grabbing Alfred. Great, he was heavy. Still, Rainbow managed to make it up seconds before the trap closed completely. Rainbow looked to Twilight who had a huge expression of surprise on her face.
"You saved me," Alfred said, "after I tried to kill you. Why?"
"If I let the trap crush you, then what would I have gained?" Rainbow asked. She grabbed her head in pain. Alfred hugged her.
"I'm so sorry. I thought getting rid of you would stop the pain of losing my brother. It wouldn't have changed much of anything, would it have?"
"If you killed me, your brother would still be dead and you'd be a murderer. Agh my head."
"But you risked your life to save me. You could have been skewered."
"Yeah, and—?"
"You really had nothing to do with my brother's death, did you?"
"If I saw him falling I would have saved him. I didn't see any of the racers after I crossed the finish line."
"I-I-I feel like such an idiot. If there's anything I can do to make up for my crimes I will gladly do so."
"You know we still have to take you to jail, right?" Twilight asked.
"Yes of course. I will gladly do my time. It's the least I can do. And Miss Dash, cider anytime you want, on me."
"I think I'm done drinking—for a very, very long time," Rainbow Dash said and she fell backwards.
