Hue Mann in Equestria

by Barrobroadcaster

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Bon-Bon, Other, Romance, Adventure, Derpy Hooves, Random, Human, Lyra, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 3541

Hue's parents have something very important to discuss with him on his birthday, something about who... and what he really is and where he comes from.

Mr. and Mrs. Mann have happily raised their son Hue for 18 years. He's an adult now and they couldn't be more proud of him. But there's a few things they need to go over with him now that he's old enough, things about who he really is, what he really is and where he comes from.

Hue loves his parents very much but how will he react when he discovers the truth about the secret they've been keeping from him since he was born?

Published 2013-06-24 04:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-06-30 23:07:18 UTC

No Solicitors

"Huey? Could you come down here for a minute?"

"Sure thing mom," Hue replied to his mother. He was up in his room with the door open working on a sketch. It was late at night, he and his family had just had dinner and it wouldn't be long before Hue's parents told him to go to bed.

Hue walked out of his room and descended the staircase. The house was mostly dark except for a light in the kitchen directly ahead of him, even the living room to the right was dark. For a moment, he was wondering what everypony was doing in the living room with the lights off. That question was answered the moment he set foot on the bottom of the stairs.

"Surprise! Happy birthday!!" The lights on the living room turned on revealing his friends had been waiting in the darkness. From the kitchen, Hue's parents appeared from behind a counter.

Hue practically facehooved. How could he forget his own birthday? "You guys! What are you doing here?" he asked his friends.

"We're here to quarantine the place cuz you've got the feather-flu! Whaddya think we're here for ya goof?" his blue Pegasus friend Booster said sarcastically.

"Your parents invited us over for your birthday. How could we say no?" Hue's yellow female unicorn friend Sunflower added.

"Well, I don't know about these two but your parents bribed me to come over," Hazey, the gray earth pony said as he adjusted his glasses.

Hue grinned. "Very funny, Haze." He towered over the three other ponies, Booster had to fly just to reach Hue's eye level. It wasn't because he was older, no, they were all around the same age though he was the oldest by at least a couple months. No, it was because Hue Mann stood on his hind legs all the time. And why wouldn't he? Upright beings usually did so. Ponies could stand on their hind legs when they wanted to but were much more comfortable on all four hooves. Not Hue though, he stood on his back legs all the time. Still, he thought of himself as just another pony.

"All right you guys, time to cut the cake!" Hue's father called.

"Ah, wash your hooves first everypony!" his mather added. Hue sighed; his mother didn't have to go saying that and embarrassing him. Well, maybe she did. Hue tended to get distracted when he got caught up in his drawing. He almost forgot his own birthday, if he'd told his friends he could imagine Hazey cracking a joke or something about him getting senile.

Hue and his three friends obediently washed up in a hurried fashion as his parents set the table. Party hats had been offered to be worn and summarily declined. Hue was eighteen today, he and his friends were a little old for the silly cone-shaped hats. His mother shook her head as even Sunflower rejected the festive head adornment.

The three young ponies and the birthday 'colt' took their seats at the table. After a couple rounds of the traditional birthday songs, Hue was instructed by loving mother to make a wish and blow out eighteen candles atop a mound of sugar and frosting, the delicacy known as cake. While he didn't specifically make a wish, there was one thing on his mind that he really wanted, the reason he was working so hard upstairs in his bedroom. Unfortunately, it wasn't something he could get as a birthday present. Hue took a deep breath and blew out the candles.

"Thanks for coming you guys," Hue said to his friends.

"Couldn't think of any place we'd rather be at eight p.m. on a Tuesday," Booster said. That got a laugh out of the group.

Hue's mother, a Pegasus floated over to her son. "I'm so proud of you, Hue. Eighteen today. You've grown up so-" she gushed but was interrupted by a knock at the door.

Hue's father looked up. "I'll get it," he said, trotting off. The tan unicorn exited the kitchen and walked through the living room as cake was served. Using his magic, he gripped the door knob as he approached.

"Yes? Who is it?" he asked, opening the door.

The door opened revealing a turquoise unicorn standing just outside. She had an excited grin on her face that made Hue's father's face immediately frown.

"Hi! Is Hue home right now? Do you think that I-"

"Damn it, Lyra," Mr. Mann interrupted. "We told you already, you're not invited!" Hue and his family had only moved to Ponyville over a month ago. Since then, the mare in their doorway had demonstrated an extreme fascination with their son to the point of obsession. Hue's condition wasn't something his parents had explained to him but while their son remained ignorant to his true nature, other ponies were not so blind. Lyra Hearstrings and her strange fixation threatened to reveal to Hue what they were hoping to bring up on their own. In due time.

"But I thought that I could just-"

Mr. Mann gritted his teeth. "Lyra, you stay away from my son!" he shouted and slammed the door in her face. An audible "awww" was heard from behind him as he turned back to the kitchen.

"Who was it at the door sweety?" Mrs. Mann asked.

"It was one of those solicitors again," her husband replied. There weren't actually solicitors in Ponyville; the phrase was Hue's parents' code word for Lyra and/or her cohort Bon-bon.

Hue's mother nodded, understanding.

"She's getting pretty tenacious," Hue commented as he finished eating. That wasn't good. Hue had apparently taken notice of Lyra. It was only a matter of time before he learned the truth. He's father gave his mother a knowing look.

"Now, I think it's time for presents!" Mrs. Mann announced. She fluttered over to a cabinet and retrieved a gift-wrapped box and another gift-wrapped object on top of it. Honestly, Hue had no idea what either object could be. He hadn't dropped any hints about anything he wanted and his parents hadn't asked him directly. His mother placed the box on the table in front of him and moved the smaller wrapped object off to the side.

"This is from your mother and I," Hue's father said. Hue looked on in eager anticipation at the package, roughly twice the size of a horseshoe box. He placed both of his "hooves" on either side and began to tear at the corner with two of his digits. His parents had told them the fingers in question were talons and that his father had some griffon blood on his grandmother's side of the family. An easy enough lie to accommodate especially when there was no other explanation. Not that Hue knew of anyway.

Another knock on the door. "I'll get it again..." his father said, trotting off. Hue opened the box.

"Oh wow!" he exclaimed. The words Final Draft Pro Studio Nine were printed on the side. It was software, artwork software for his PC. It was easily over eight-hundred bits worth of information, programs, CDs and tools designed to make life easier for an artist. It advertised professional-grade quality and the latest features, a massive leap from the default ones installed on Hue's computer already that he had been using.

"Well, we know this is what you want to do. So, we figured you might as well practice with the best," his mother said. Hue couldn't help it, he stood up and embraced his mother, hugging the Pegasus that raised him. She was almost half his size and the air was squeezed out of her as he held her but she hugged back. He was her son, after all.

"Congratulations Hue!" Sunflower said.

"Open up ours next!" Booster encouraged.

His father looked back over his shoulder as he opened the door once again. Standing in the door way was a familiar-looking turquoise unicorn. With a moustache. She levitated a jar of pickles in midair nearby.

"Excuse me sir," the mare pardoned with huge smile on her face. "Sorry to bother you but I happen to be having trouble with this jar of pickles. The lid's stuck on too tight for me." The unicorn twisted the jar's top to demonstrate her problem. "Do you know of anyone who could perhaps give me a HAND?"

"Nice try, Lyra," Hue's father said, seeing through the mare's 'clever' disguise. "Where's Bon-bon? Don't you two have anything better to do?"

"I'm over here!" a voice said. A hoof stuck up from behind a bush and waved at the house. "Hi Mr. Mann! Tell Hue we said happy birthday!" the shrubbery called.

"Bon-bon!" Lyra shouted at behind her. "They're not supposed to know it's us!"

"Sorry!" the Bon-bon yelled back.

"Good night, ladies," Mr. Mann said, closing the door again.

Back at the kitchen table, Hue opened his other present. Some sort of leathery brown sock was revealed as Hue pulled back the wrapping paper.

"That's from us!" Sunflower said.

Hue held up the object. "Thanks... what is it?" he asked, perplexed.

"It's a baseball glove!" Booster said. "We figured it would be perfect for you, seeing as you're the only one with-"

"I think that's enough now!" Hue's mother interrupted the Pegasus, pushing him out of the way and grabbing the glove out of Hue's... hooves.

His mother placed the unwrapped glove in the cabinet again quickly. "You um, you shouldn't touch your gifts until after you've washed your hands again, Hue."

"Hands?" Hue asked. He'd never heard the word before. "You mean hooves, mom," he corrected.

Mrs. Mann cursed inside her mind. "Yes, yes you're right. It's um, been a long day."

"Mrs. Mann?" Hazey asked. "I think you were right the first ti-"

"That solicitor again," Hue's father grumbled as he walked back over. "We may have to... do something about this. Go down to the courthouse, file a complaint or-"

"I think it's time you guys got back home," Mrs. Mann announced and winked at her husband.

"What? What's wrong?" Hue asked as to why his friends were being sent home early.

"It's just been a really long day and your father and I are very tired," Mrs. Mann gestured to her husband subtly for support.

"Ah, yes, you can all see Hue tomorrow. Thanks for coming!" the unicorn father ushered the three other ponies out the door.

"Okay... we'll see you tomorrow Hue!" Booster called back to him.

"Bye guys!" Hue waved. With his hand. "That solicitor was really bugging you huh?"

"Yes..." his father said, thinking. "She's very persistent, that one."

Mrs. Mann flew over to her husband. "I think we need to talk," she told whispered.

"Son, why don't you go install your new gift? It's going to take a while right?" Hue's father suggested.

"You're right, I could have it installing now and it would probably get done by morning," Hue said. He took the box and carried it with him up the stairs to his room. Before he put a foot on the stairs, he stopped, turned around and walked back. Bending down, he kissed both of his loving parents. Truly, he felt blessed. Bot their eyes moistened. Thankfully, he'd forgotten about the other gift for the moment as he ascended the staircase.

The two ponies were alone in the kitchen. "Honey, I think it's time we told him."

"Told Hue you mean?" Mr. Mann asked to be sure. His wife nodded. Mr. Mann didn't say anything back but walked over to the cabinet and retrieved the baseball glove. He held it in midair with his light-blue magic levitation and thought for a long moment. They were about to have a talk with 'their' son.

Author's Note

I can't help but imagine Lyra as SpongeBob in this. Not sure what to make of Bon-bon though except happy assistant.

You're a...

Hue read the back of the box, excited to get it loaded as quickly as possible. He opened it up and started searching for the CDs, finally finding them off to the side in their own special nook. He pulled the first one out, each was individually wrapped like a slice of cheese.

"Huey? Can we talk a minute?" Hue's mother asked. The door to his room opened, both his parents approached from the hallway.

"Sure thing, I'm just getting ready to install it now," he shouted. The two ponies entered his room, his mother flying and his father levitating the baseball glove. Hue was at his desk with his back to them.

"Hey son," his father said. "Everything in there you need? There's nothing missing is there?" Mr. Mann inquired about the condition of Hue's gift.

Hue looked into the box for a moment to be sure. "Nnnope, everything looks to be here. Thanks again dad, mom. I love you both so much," he said, turning to them in his chair.

Oh, this was going to hurt. "We love you too, son. We wanted to talk to you about your... well, your other gift."

"The glove?" he asked still looking through the box. "What about it?"

"Could you put that down for a moment sweetie? This is... kind of important," his mother said, hovering over. His father took a seat at the foot of his bed while Hue faced them with his back to his desk and PC. He put down the box next to him and looked up.

"What is it?" Hue asked.

"Son... this is a baseball glove," his father told him.

Hue smirked. "I know..."

"It's for your hands, sweetie," his mother said.

" Oh, I just Googled hands," Hue said.

His parents exchanged worried looks. They had been lax on parental controls on his computer and other things. Could Hue have learned about this from the Equestrinet?

"Uhhh, well, what did you learn honey?" his mother followed up.

"Hoof-attached Augmented Network of Digits System, or HANDS. Sounds like sci-fi," Hue said with a chuckle.

"Oh. Well, that's not exactly the type of 'hands' we were talking about," his father said. Other than rumors, humans were creatures of myth and legend in Equestria though some details about them were sketchy. Stories ranged from the heroic tale of a legendary lawyer who defended a Pegasus wrongfully accused of murder to a slew of eyewitness accounts of disgruntled and disturbed individuals from other worlds who chanced upon Equestria, became enamored and went on magical journeys with its inhabitants. Mostly, they were considered tall tales one heard of in the company of a pony who had one too many hard ciders.

"What do you mean?" their son asked. He was so innocent, that made things all the more difficult.

"Well, you see Hue," his mother began.

Hue's hands turned a light blue, the same color as his father's unique magic. "These are hands, son. They're like hooves, only... different. Like a dragon's claws only softer, they let you manipulate objects with better control, pick things up and hold things," his father explained.

Hue looked at his hands as if he was seeing them for the first time. "But... but you can pick things up too. With your hooves."

"We're able to do that because if we couldn't, it would make things in the show a lot more complicated. It's just kind of easier this way," his mother said, hovering next to him.

Hue raised an eyebrow. "Did you just break the fourth wall?"

"Hue, we're able to do these things because we need to. It's how we were made. And this is how you were made, it's how all humans are made," his father said.

"I don't understand," Hue said, shaking his head. "I'm a... human? I thought you said I was part griffin. That's the reason I have the talons."

"They're not talons, according to some of the books we read, they're called 'fingers'. We told you they were talons because..." his mother took a deep breath, the words coming hard but she knew it was necessary. "...because we didn't want you to think you were different from any of the other ponies. But you're adopted."

Hue was quiet for a long moment. He looked at his entire body, examining like it was a foreign entity. It was a lot to take in.

"So... I'm..." it was getting hard for Hue to speak as well. "I'm not your son?"

His mother grabbed his arm with her hooves. The two held each other for a sad moment, shining beads of tear slid down from his mother's closed eyes.

Mr. Mann leaned closer remembering back. "Your mother and I were very deeply in love but... we never had foals of our own. At the time though, we didn't even think about it."

"You came to us as a miracle, Huey," his mother told him.

"Your mother and I were making out behind an IHOP in Phillydelphia. We found you in an alleyway wrapped up in a blanket," his father said. "It's customary for humans to wear clothes so we've done our best to get you clothes over the years, things to wear."

Hue shook his head in disbelief. "You found me? So where do I come from?"

"We're pretty sure you don't come from the International House Of Pancakes. We made sure they didn't serve humans there anyway," his father explained.

"That's right," his mother added. "You weren't on the menu at all," she reassured him.

Hue got up. The room felt like it was spinning. Part of him wanted it to be all a joke. His mother backed away but remained close, trying to console him while giving him his space as he stood.

"We could go there if you want to see. It might have some kind of special meaning to you, who knows?" his father suggested.

"And after we're done, we can get pancakes!" his mother eagerly encouraged, trying to make the situation a bit brighter.

"So I'm not a pony? I'm not even your son? And... my name? Hue Mann?"

His father got up off the bed. "Your mother and I were a little tipsy when we found you. But the moment we found you, we knew it was meant to be. It was destiny."

"Are you even Mr. and Mrs. Mann? My name is Hue Mann... and I'm a human." The realization hit Hue like a ton of bricks. Sweat poured down his face and panic set in as everything clicked into place all too easily. "Is all this some kind of a sick joke?!"

His father put a hoof to his chin. "Well, the author thought it was kind of clever and cliché himself."

"The author of what?!" Hue screeched.

"Your... b-birth certificate," his mom interjected.

"Nice save, honey."

Hue blinked. "What does that even mean?!" A loud thump was heard from outside, close by. Hue's room was on the second floor, whatever it was, it sounded like it was coming from just on the other side of the wall. Mr. Mann walked over to the window and pulled back the curtains.

"Gah! What the..." Lyra was suspended by a wire in front of the window looking in. Her hooves were pressed on the glass as her eyes caught Mr. Mann's. She smiled guiltily and waved.

"Uh... free nightly window-washing service!" Lyra said.

Mr. Mann's ear twitched and he gritted his teeth. "That's it! I've had it with you for the last time Lyra!"

"Honey, wait," his wife stopped him. "Hue already knows. There's no harm she can do now." Mr. Mann relaxed a bit, realizing what she said was true.

"Who is she dad?" Hue asked. "What's she doing hanging from the roof?"

"Oh, hi! I'm Lyra! It's really nice to meet you! Um... can I come in?"

Reluctantly, Mr. Mann unlatched the window and the turquoise unicorn swung in, landing on the floor in front of them. She shook her head to clear the cartoony disorientation.

"I'll admit Lyra, you are tenacious," Mr. Mann said.

"Thanks!" Lyra said.

"Who are you?" Hue asked.

"Oh, um, hi! I'm Lyra Heartstrings, I study anthropology at the local college," the unicorn explained.

Hue's father raised an eyebrow. "Don't you mean mythology?"

Lyra got up and glared back at him. "Humans are not a myth! How can you even say that? I mean, look at your son!"

Mr. Mann put his hooves up defensively. "Now, that's not what I-"

"Not to interrupt," Hue's mom interjected. "But Lyra?"

"Yeah?"

Mrs. Mann looked around. "Where's Bon-bon?"

Lyra's eyes went wide. "Ummmm..."

"Wuh, uh, aaaaAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!" a voice from outside yelled. Another figured fell past the window, a loud crash followed. The rope detached from the roof and fell to the ground.

"Bon-bon!" Lyra yelled, looking out the window. Hue's parents both looked over Lyra's shoulder to the ground below. It was so dark they couldn't even see the lawn in front of the house.

"I'm okay..." a voice called back.

Lyra sighed in relief. "She's all right."

"Let's go invite her in," Hue's father said in a defeated tone. "It's gonna be a long night."

"I'll go down stairs and get some tea started," Hue's mother thought out loud.