I remember ice.
Ice all around, clinging like static to my skin. I remember feeling my blood burn away, the ice in her eyes shining through all of the darkness, and then I remember feeling nothing.
I couldn’t see her, the Mare of Darkest Night. I could see myself, though. Two of me.
One was standing with me, and was me. It was wavering and faded, like an old photograph left to sit in a puddle. I tried to lift my hoof, and this one’s hoof moved. Me.
The other was crumpled on the ground, mane strewn and nodded, body speckled with frost and dirt. This one did not respond to me. The Nightmare stepped past me – through me! – and knelt beside my crumpled body.
With a fascinated horror I watched as her icy blue magic, woven through with streaks of deepest night, slipped into the not-me’s nose and ears and throat, hissing like fire possessed. When the Nightmare stepped back, one wingtip flicking through my right hoof, the not-me rose.
It’s eyes were not mine, though they tried to recreate it. I imagined my first eyes had been withered away to nothing from the chill of death itself, but the not-me’s irises were a deep magenta where mine had been a pale purple.
“You are Twilight.” The Nightmare purred, her mane billowing wildly.
“I am Twilight.” It repeated, in the voice that was so much mine.
“Your friends are coming, and you will defeat me.”
“M...my friends are coming, and I will defeat you!” The not-me had gained confidence from her, I could tell. Already the Nightmare was looking a little less dark, a little less big.
“You know now that the Elements of Harmony are in your friends. You knew because you heard them coming and felt the spark.”
The not-me blinked, balked, stumbled forwards. A small scratch dripped white ichor down its face where I must have fallen on something. “I know now that the Elements of Harmony are in my friends.”
The five ponies I had met earlier charged into the room, seething with indignant fury at the demon before them. I ran towards them, seeing Rainbow Dash looking towards me.
I phased through her with a paralyzing chill, my essence billowing out around her in some phantasmal version of a crash. I could see what she was looking at now; the smug grin of the moon demon.
“I know because I heard them coming and felt the spark!” The not-me shouted, horn sparking wildly with magic it didn’t know how to control.
“Rainbow Dash was loyal to us when she could have lived her dream! Rarity soothed a raging serpent with her generosity!”
“Can you hear me?” I shouted, feeling the Elements of Harmony vibrate through the arcane waves. “Please, somebody!”
“Pinkie Pie chased away the ghosts with her laughter! Applejack was honest when I was scared!”
The Nightmare’s eyes locked on me, and she smiled; a white band of a devil’s scar.
“Fluttershy overcame her fear to show kindness to an injured beast! With all of us together, the Element of Magic can come through!”
The Elements broke into their forms, as I had read they would. The Nightmare’s smile grew, and her gaze never moved from me. The not-me erupted with magical power, levitating into the air, and still she watched me. The magical aura of the Elements, sacred in its’ purity and tainted with death, wrapped around her, and still all I heard was the Nightmare’s last, faint cry to her minion’s ears and mine.
Goodnight.
My name is Twilight Sparkle.
I am dead.
It was a long time before I wanted to look up again.
I had pressed my forehead up against a pillar the second the not-me had the guile to hug Princess Celestia. I had heard the tear-filled reunion, had heard the not-me’s feigned disbelief at seeing her again, at seeing the meek form the Nightmare would have had to take after the Elements failed in killing her.
A thousand years seemed to earn one a pretty solid plan.
I, however, didn’t have a thousand years.
I’d studied raising the dead. It was a banned set of spells; necromancy could easily go bad, and the few ponies that did divulge into it often ended up in a padded room. Or, if it went even more wrong, six feet under. Obviously, death and such was a mere triviality for a demon.
I had also attempted this whole ‘death’ thing, but apparently once you have died once, throwing yourself off of any and all tall objects does nothing other than cause you to disintegrate into lavender smoke before returning back to your normal form, no worse for wear. Maybe the lavender part was just me, but I didn’t have many ponies around to test it on.
After recollecting myself from yet another top-of-the-nearest-object impact, I decided that maybe I should do something about my little problem aside from throwing myself off of things. The first idea I had was to find someone to help me.
Ah, yes, I am a genius.
Of course, with my general inconsistency and the fact that nobody – aside from that moonstruck she-devil - could see me, that was probably going to be difficult.
But hey, I didn’t become Celestia’s student for nothing.
I also didn’t become Celestia’s student for trying my hardest to kill myself once already dead, but that’s beside the point. Nonetheless, it was time to get some answers. Or more questions. At the moment, anything would be pretty good.
The one main thing about Everfree is that it’s much more enjoyable when one isn’t alive.
Nothing tried to attack me, and the things that did flew through my body without any danger. The Poison Joke’s dust billowed harmlessly around me as I trudged through, and I managed to watch in on a conversation between a seapony in a pond and a passing deer. Interesting language barriers, between Aquish and Old Equine.
Still, it was probably too soon for my comfort when I reached Ponyville. It was a little hub of joy, ponies laughing and cheering, downing cider in the name of some pony named ‘Luna’.
Of course! The Nightmare would have had to take some willy-nilly frou-frou name in order to complete her disguise. No doubt that the not-me was sitting in the library, happily reading – or trying to, who knows how much intelligence the thing had – and chatting with my friends.
I snorted angrily, striking out with my back hooves at the nearest pony. As predicted, there was no actual impact, but it made me feel better.
Okay, Twilight, calm down. Deep breaths, like Cadence taught you at those anger management classes after you broke that one colt's nose. Granted, he was getting between you and your books, but -
- deep breaths, Twilight, focus! What types of ponies can see spirit?
Demons? Yeah no.
Necromancers? Considering I'd rather not be reanimating a body unless it was my own, another no.
Zebra? None this side of the Serpent Sea.
Other spirits? Load of help that'd be.
Kelpies? Well, they...
...existed in the swampier regions of southwestern Equestria and are often amiable.
Score~!
I galloped through a passing stallion - nice flanks there, pretty boy - and continued through the library, the numbness and chill of having myself completely disintegrate with each impact becoming less and less annoying.
The door to the library was slightly more difficult, as I had to take the time to actually find the edge of the door before reassembling, but it was totally worth it for the scream of the pony within.
The not-me backpedalled quickly, screaming it's blasted head off. Spike came flying out of the upstairs room, trying to figure out what was wrong. Oh, Spike. I wish you could see me. I don't want you here, with this thing. I love you, little brother.
"Ghost!" It managed to shout. "There's a ghost!"
"Twilight, I don't see anything."
That's right, not-me. This is between us.
"You've been up for two whole days now because of the Summer Sun Celebration. You're seeing things, Twi, just like last time. Come on, let's get you to bed."
Goodbye, Spike. I'll be back soon.
Someday.
I glared down the not-me before turning and seeping through the door.
Now that I had checked in on the library, I knew where I had to go. Sure, it was basically across Equestria, but I was pretty sure I didn't have lungs or organs to worry about. Technically, I could just start walking now and not stop until I got there.
So I did.
