Context

Day 22

Living with a ghost is how she could best describe Jason. While he did appear every day for her to change his bandages, he kept himself aloof, excluding her searching for him to sate her ancient desires. And once he pulled himself off of her, he would clean himself up and go back to whatever it was he did when he came home for the evening. It was humiliating to have a mate who wanted nothing more from her then to get himself of her out as quickly as he could.

Every morning the last few days, she started waking up her mate to ask him to help her get over her morning heat. And every morning he reluctantly obliged her. And she was starting to hate it. She hated being treated as an obligation he was reluctantly caring for. She was sure other stallions didn’t treat their mares like he treated her. He almost stopped talking to her entirely. She kept trying to communicate, but he would ask her to not push further or simply remain silent.

The worst part was that despite everything, he still chose to sleep on the couch. Even knowing what he knows now, every night, he still choose to keep himself far away from her. Every time she asked herself why, her heart dropped at the worst answer she could think of: She disgusted him. Maybe she was ugly where he came from, or worse, she was considered a poor lover.

But regardless, he had not asked her to leave and she still loved him... for whatever reason she could not decipher yet. That’s what got her to the most, she knew she loved him, but she did not know why. While he did care for her and provided shelter for her, those were not the reasons. She was fairly sure that if he took those away, she would still have something in her heart for him.

A paradox, forged from love and hate. She hated how he kept himself from her, but could not help but love him at the same time. The stallion who showed her flashes of kindness and compassion, and she could not be his knight in shining armor.

And that was how Verde thought to herself the last morning of her heat. He had just finished taking care of her, but had left her alone in the bedroom, as he always did. She didn’t even follow him for breakfast this time. She was getting exhausted of trying to win his approval. It was like pulling a wheelbarrow of heavy stones without the wheels, she was not getting to her destination at all.

Thinking hard, she recalled stories of romance in the books she read in her youth. Unlike other mares, who were adventurous and bold, she was either drawing or reading, not caring for the outside world. She remembered her first book was a child’s story about a Pegasi hero going on an adventure to restore the lost colors of the rainbow for her fair prince, whom they married at the end.

The next story that came to mind was a story about a Unicorn rescuing a stallion who was locked away by an evil changeling empire.

But the next story she remembered was a poor stallion taking in a hurt fictional duchess at war with another nation and nursing her back to health. One morning he found her gone and in a few days, she came back and asked him to marry her. She remembered this the most because though the entire time, the princess was acting snobby and rude, but the stallion kept taking care of her, breaking through to the real pony on the inside.

Maybe I’m the duchess, acting rude and snobby to him... Verde sighed. Maybe I’m expecting too much too quickly... I mean I did bite him. Verde laid to her side, still not moving. This was probably the last time her heat would flare up. If not, she would go get Jason... as usual.

Closing her eyes, a sound from the kitchen caught her attention. He was cooking. He wasn’t using that box that makes stuff and he wasn’t making cereal or just making some Dandelions on Rye for her... which for some reason always came out of the fridge.

Curiosity got the better of Verde, sliding off the bed, she realized that, while everything else was going south for her, she enjoyed how tall his bed was, because she could always slide off of it. For the brief few moments her front hooves were in the air, she imagined it was like a pegasi trying to land.

Moving from the bedroom to the kitchen, she saw Jason, using both his hands, to make something in a skillet.

“Whatcha makin?” Verde asked, finding it the perfect subject to start a conversation on.

“Eggs, want some?” Jason replied, using his bad hand to hold the skillet while working the eggs with his good one.

“Yeah, that actually sounds nice.” Verde said, eggs had never been her thing, but if it would continue the conversation, she was more than willing to have some. “So, your bad hand, you can use it now?”

“Still hurts for the most part, but I feel comfortable grabbing stuff with it.” Jason responded. “Do you mind scrambled?”

“No, not at all.” she said, sitting down on the floor. “So, um... what foods do you like?”

“Hate to break it to you, but mostly meats.” Jason answered.

“Well I’d still like to know.” Verde said, hoping to push Jason into answering.

“You remember bacon? Thats one of them.” he spoke, still facing the stove top. “Then there’s steak, though I personally am partial to New York Strip, and there's also various pizzas with meats on them.”

Verde did not know what steak was, but refrained from asking in hopes that he would not give details.

“Do you like flowers?” she asked. She was surprised when he started laughing.

“Humans generally don’t eat flowers.” he replied. “Though some cultures do I believe, the one I was raised in is... meat and bread heavy.”

“Oh, do you like baked goods?” Verde asked.

“Yeah, did you think that cake I made you was because I knew you were coming over?” he replied, sounding like he was trying to joke. Verde had completely forgot about the cake he made her on the second day in this home.

“So... you were going to eat the cake by yourself? Or were you saving it?” Verde questioned.

“My self, though it would take a few days to finish it.” Jason answered.

“Thats... kinda lonely, before I joined you, did you ever bring friends over like that one human?” she asked.

“That... that was a bit of a going away party for him. He and I worked on a few things where I work at and we generally don’t throw going away parties at the compound.” Jason replied.

“So, you and he were not friends?” Verde questioned, her ears falling a little to the side.

“More like casual acquaintances.” Jason responded, rotating his head around and around, on his... very short neck. Pulling some bowls down, he put some eggs into each one and grabbed some silverware. “Meet me in the living room.”

“Sure.” Verde responded, heading to the living room’s small couch. Jason soon followed, using his bad and good hands to grasp the bowls. With his good hand, he gave Verde her bowl of eggs and sat down. Jason sat on the large couch and dug right in, with Verde following suit.

“I thought humans had friends...” Verde replied after the long silence. She remembered that Jason and the other human were very chummy the night of the bite.

“We do, but not all of us have a huge emphasis on making them... I thought some ponies were like that also...” Jason stated.

“Well, its rare, but very few ponies prefer isolation.” Verde answered, remembering an old hermit who lived near Trottington years ago.

“Then how are they treated?” Jason asked, scratching his cheek with his fingers.

“Isolated ponies are weird...” Verde said, bringing up memories of the hermit. She never showed her face, just occasionally you would see her cloaked and in the nearby woods.

“... I love you Jason, I know you don’t like me, but I still love you.” Verde spoke, having a sudden urge to tell Jason this, perhaps due to wanting him to know that he wasn’t alone... or maybe to remind her that she had someone to love.

“Why do you say that? Do you even comprehend how powerful that word is? You just seem to throw it around like it’s confetti.” Jason scoffed, his face pouting in a strange disgust.

“I’m not throwing it around.. I really do mean that I love you.” Verde honestly answered.

“Why?” Jason questioned.

“W..why?” Verde said, worrying that she might have offended him

“Yes, why do you love the monkey who comes from beyond the moon?” Jason snorted, almost mocking Verde

“Thats unfair, I don’t think you're a monkey.” Verde replied honestly.

“Because less than a month of living together doesn't amount to love.” he finished,

“I never said it was because we were living together...” Verde responded, trying to tell him that her love was not based on his accusation.

“But you sure as hell are implying it.” Jason said.

“WELL I DON’T KNOW WHY I LOVE YOU!” she yelled, dropping her spoon. “YOU HAPPY? DID I MAKE YOUR DAY ANY BETTER?”

Jason said nothing. He just sat there and didn’t move.

“OH, THIS AGAIN, THE SILENT TREATMENT? IS THAT HOW YOU TREAT EVERYONE WHO YOU DECIDE TO END A CONVERSATION WITH? LUNA, FUCK YOU!” she screamed at Jason, realizing she just told Jason to fuck off.

Even Jason’s eyes widened at the pony's use of vulgar language. Feeling strung out, Verde got off the small couch and back into the bedroom that she had grown attached to. Slaming the door, she laid on the floor and huffed, realizing that for a stallion, Jason was a fucking asshole.

Oh Celestia, what have I gotten myself into? Verde asked herself. Before she could continue her thought, her ears swiveled behind her, because there was a tapping at the door.

“I’m sorry.” she heard Jason speak in a muffled voice.

Taking a moment to let that sink, in her spite, she replied, “Do you even know what sorry means?”

The sound of a thud outside the door kept her ears aimed in their previous direction. She then heard Jason say, “Open the door. Lets talk.”

Getting on all fours, she lightly reared up to get the door and turned it’s ball handle, revealing Jason sitting on the carpet opposite of the door and against the wall.

“I’m sorry.” he said once more, looking at her in the eye.

“You sure? You seem to be the prince of words, wouldn’t a more appropriate set of words be ‘I’m a big meanie, so I'm going to reject you so I can feel better?’” Verde snapped at Jason.

“Verde... I...” Jason sighed out loud, looking to his side. “You win.”

“What?” Verde spoke, twisting her head.

“You win. I was being a jerk.” he said, not moving his head.

Verde moved closer to Jason and sat her rear down, mirroring Jason.

“Jason... I just... I mean, oh I don’t know what to say...” she said, lowering her head and looking upwards at her mate sitting across from her.

“Well... not much to say. I mean, you could say ‘apology accepted’, but if thats not how you feel, don’t say it...” Jason told her. Verde got up from her sitting position and moved her self right next to Jason.

“Well, I guess I did spring the whole herding and begging you to rut me thing on you rather suddenly... though I’m curious, if you didn’t like the idea of rutting me, why did you accept?” Verde asked.

“Verde... oh god... when you explained it to me the first time, I thought I’d have a few days to think this though... I mean, you would have been my first time having sex with anyone a-” Jason spoke as Verde interrupted him.

“Wait, you never had sex?” her eyes widened. Due to the scarcity of colts, most had their first times fairly young, but Jason, she never expected him to be inexperienced. But it made sense to her, his skittishness, his poor performances, and his aloofness. “Jason... I didn’t know, I’m so sor-”

“Don’t apologize... you needed help, and I don’t like watching you in tears. If you need something that I can give away freely... I have no reason to withhold it from you.” Jason interrupted Verde. Verde moved closer, feeling the need to comfort Jason. Resting her head on his shoulder, she started nuzzling him.

“So... were you saving yourself for someone else?” Verde asked, wondering if there was another mate in his life.

“No, more like I never had the time and sex never really interested me. Ether I was knee deep in studying or working.” he answered.

“Oh... so um, how many years have you studied?” Verde said, curious as to what amount of education Jason had.

“If you count public school, about Eighteen Years.” Jason replied

“Eighteen years!?” Verde exclaimed.