A Random My Little Pony Fan Fiction Story

by The Masked Ghost

Rating: mature
Tags: Random, Main 6, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy, Other
Length: 1467

A Story of an adventure of a pony named John.

John awoken one day with no toast and decided to take a stroll. He then ended up in Ponyville and had an adventure in it. What will John find as he visits the family friendly place known as Ponyville?

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Published 2013-06-11 03:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-09-01 18:02:50 UTC

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A Random My Little Pony Fan Fiction Story

A pony named John awoken one day in his bed.

He yawned and while yawning, a chicken came out of his mouth, to which the chicken got up and did the Russian dance. Then John got out of bed to get some breakfast.

He went downstairs to the kitchen, grabbed the toaster sitting on his counter top, and hit his wife repeatedly over the head with a toaster to death, while saying, “Why didn’t you make me toast you bitch!? Why!?”

Then he ate her legs and went for a stroll. As he was walking, he came across a Muslim-Jew, who had happened to have a Twinkie in his hand, and asked John where he could blow it up.

John simply responded with a cow exploding right next to the Muslim-Jew, and then the Muslim-Jew went to the sun and burned to death, but lived happily ever after while doing so.

Then John released a money from his asshole and he talked to the monkey, to which he skinned the monkey alive, while juggling eight fireballs, and continued his stroll.

John came across an apple orchard, and saw Applejack hard at work. John then Took an Apple from an apple tree, shoved it up his asshole, went up to Applejack, and said to her face, “My anus is bleeding.”

Then John continued his walk and ended up in Ponyville. John was confused at first of to where he was. He did not know where he ended up at, because he just randomly walked straight forward and did not pay attention to the fact he walked 500 miles, while listing to that 500 miles song, and the fact that he high jacked a beer can, paid a Muslim beer can to blow up a Denny’s.

John saw a sexy purple Unicorn, which was having sex with a cloud, and decided to join in the fun. He went up to the cloud that was having sex with a purple unicorn named Twilight, and pissed on the cloud, and decided to go get some sugary treats.

He had walked around as a retarded person would, and walked straight into a shop named Sugar Cube Corner.

He walked in and saw a blue bitch pony, to which John went behind the counter, and bitch slapped the blue pony bitch. He then went into the kitchen, and lit a yellow pony on fire, and slowly watched him burn to death, as he looked at him with cross-eyes.

Then he went to the counter and took a cupcake. Then a pop tart cat walked into the kitchen with rainbows coming out of his ass, and took the cupcake, took a shit on Derpy, and exploded.

John then went upstairs, went into the owner’s room, and touched everything, which was then infected with AIDS. Then John went down into a secret basement, where Pinkie Pie was harvesting organs for cupcakes.

Then John thought the pink pony was hot as fuck and raped her while she was harvesting the organs. John had raped her so hard; he made Pinkie’s eyes explode and ate her legs, for it was lunchtime.

John suddenly walked outside of the building, and Optimism prime ‘came’ the fuck out of nowhere, and asked John to fuck a cat, to which John answered, “Fatty bitches.”

Then Optimums Prime took him to a building, which had moon crabs in it, and then played Dubstep that came out of his mouth, for he had eaten vinyl scratch’s vocal cords at one point in his visit to Ponyville.

Then, his Dubstep was so powerful, it destroyed the building that he was at, and teleported him to a room, where a polar bear was fucking a dog on a bed. While this was happening, the air around John started to feel, 20% cooler.

Out of no where, Rainbow Dash broke into the room, for she was high on Red Bull, and had a threesome with the polar bear and dog.

Then John walked around for a bit, ended up near the Everfree forest, and saw a cute little pony that was yellow and had a pink mane. Then John went up to her, shoved up a bomb up her asshole that he got from god knows where, and walked away to feed the flying spaghetti monster, Bill Gates.

John had pleased his god, and for his generous offer, he was awarded with a Scootaloo, which had AIDS.

Then John went to a Kirspy Kermes and set the Scootaloo down, and the Scootaloo turned into a Xenomorphic from the Alien movies. It killed everybody in the place, and then did the Charleston.

John continued on his adventure through Ponyville, by seeing a lonely purple dragon that was looking for Twilight. He had went up to the lonely purple dragon, and said, “Are you ok little boy?”

Then Spike said, “NO! I really wanted do drugs with Twilight today. Besides, she is the only one that has the keys to go into the house.”

John then said, “Maybe that dirty white van next to us could help you little girl.”

Then John walked away, while Spike said to him, “Thanks Mister!”

Spike then knocked on the dirty white van door, to which he got a responded of, “He He!! Who is it?”

Then the door opened and it revealed a black Robot Michael Jackson. Then Spike said, “Hello random black guy. I was wondering if you could help me out on getting Twilight back, so I may do all the drugs with her tonight. Then I will take her to the rehab clinic, since I don’t want to pay for any more drugs for her crack addiction.”

Michael Jackson noticed he was a little boy and said, “OH, a little boy. Come on right in and I might be able to help you out little boy.”

Then as Jackson was talking to him, Spike saw that the back person had two mares and a stallion taped up, and had duck taped mouths, shaking their heads no.

Spike then said, “Sure. I always wanted to go into a dirty white van owned by a black guy.”

Then Spike got in, while the Michael Jackson slowly closed the door, with a Joker grin on his face.

Then Spike said as they all played Uno together, “Oh yeah, that's the stuff.”

John continued onward with his adventures in Ponyville and saw Tom Hanks eating a pair of legs to Rarity. John walked up to Mr. Hanks, and asked, “May I join you good sir in this feast of legs of a white bitch?”

Then Hanks grabbed a gun and pointed the gun at him. Tom Hanks pulled the trigger, but the bullet went straight into his head and Tom died.

John then continued the uneaten feast of legs and took a piss on Rarity's body.

John next went to the movie theatre, to watch a movie called sunshine and farts. The movie earned three academy awards and was the best film ever made in Equestria, and is considered a classic.

It was all about sunshine and farts. When John went to see it, instead of the hit film, he was forced to watch a Nicholas Cage film, and John got mad. John got up and turned into the Hulk, and ate everyone’s legs at the theatre with anger, and went to a planet called Earth, went to Cage’s house, and ate his legs as well, as well as killing him.

Then John turned back into normal John, and yelled aloud to every single person outside, “You are free!”

Everybody was then celebrating with joy and declared the day when Cage died a national holiday.

John then went into Robin William’s basement, freed some Illegal Mexicans, and brought them back into Equestria. John then said to the Illegal Mexicans, “Fix me tacos mother fuckers.”

Then John grabbed out a whip from nowhere and whipped them to death, and John did not get his tacos that day. John was sad about it, and decided to rob a Taco Bell.

He then robbed it, went to the secret hidden basement that all Taco Bells had, to where a group of Illegal Mexicans were making the tacos. He then shot all of them and ate their legs, and went home.

He then went to bed, hopefully to see Luna in his dream, so he could eat her legs.

THE END.

Author's Note

There is nothing really much to say, but, I was really fucking bored when i wrote this. And there might be a sequel to this, if I get enough positive reactions to it. I don't know, it'll give me something to do when I'm bored.