My Little Pony: Cynicism is Magic

by RatherHomely

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy
Length: 5478

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-02-21 00:11:37 UTC

Oh, so NOW you want to read this? GO ahead, see if I care...

A cold laugh echoed through the air, chilling the very core of all those who could hear it. Fortunately, none were around, and the voice was very much alone, free to do whatever it pleased. "I've spent far too long coming up with this... But all the planning has paid off, and while I'm normally not much for planning, this is the one time I can make an exception. Now, my little friend... Awaken." A faint cloud of magic was floating in the air, practically invisible except for the faint pink trail it left. But, at the voice's will, the magic suddenly compacted, binding together, as though all the magic was trying to stuff itself into a small box no bigger than a thimble. The final product was a small, harmless-looking creature. As the voice laughed again, the small insect looked around, disoriented, an understandable reaction to having just been brought into existence but a few moments ago. The insect was like a small cockroach, but midnight blue in color instead of the ugly brown found on most species. "Now... Go. Have some fun for good ol' dad, eh?" And, the purpose of its existence now echoing through its mind, the midnight blue cockroach scurried off.

Its direction?

Ponyville.

"This smells fantastic!" Twilight leaned over the bowl, nose outstretched, as though she was attempting to prevent any of the wonderful scent wafting through the air from escaping. "Spike, what in Equestria would I do without you?"

Spike, who was scooping some of the soup into his own bowl, chuckled. "I guess you'd starve."

"Oh no!" A voice gasped. Spike attempted to restrain an involuntary eye roll he felt coming on. Fluttershy had her hoof to her mouth, eyes wide with shock. "Spike! You have to promise to never, EVER leave Twilight! I don't want her to starve!"

"Um, Fluttershy?" Twilight sighed. "I think he was joking."

"Oh." The pegasus gave her an apologetic grin. "Sorry."

Spike couldn't hold back the urge any longer, and rolled his eyes. Turning his attention back to the soup, he stared at it with mild displeasure. He'd never been a vegetable dragon, and apparently ponies didn't like gems stuffed in whatever they were eating. At the very least, the soup was making the other two dinner guests happy.

"This is delicious!" Twilight cried out in delight, uncharacteristically wolfing down the soup while Fluttershy watched in mild amusement.

Scratch making her happy, she was ecstatic.

Spike scooped up a spoonful of broth and said, "Well, I can't take all the credit. Fluttershy helped too."

Fluttershy nodded. "That's true, but you did most of the work."

"You don't have to be so modest, Spike." Twilight stopped her eating for a moment. "I hope you wrote down the recipe, because I could eat this all day, everyday."

"I think you'd get sick of it pretty quickly." remarked Spike, sipping the broth. Though he acted modest on the outside, the baby dragon was bursting with pride inside. After all, what could cause one's spirits to soar more than such wonderful compliments?

Twilight glanced at the clock on the wall. "Looks like it's almost some dragon's bed time."

Spike groaned. "C'mon, can't I stay up later? It's not like I'm even..." He let out loud yawn.

Fluttershy and Twilight shared amused looks, as Twilight said, "My point exactly. Now get up those stairs, mister. I'll be along in a second." As Spike slid off his chair and began the journey to his bed, he heard Twilight bid Fluttershy goodnight, and the sound of Twilight putting away the remainder of the soup could be heard after.

Settling down in his little basket bed, Spike let out another yawn, even louder than the first. "Not tired at all..." he muttered.

"Oh, give it a rest." Twilight replied, entering the room. "And give yourself a rest too, while you're at it." Climbing into her own bed, Twilight blew out the candle which lit up the room, and the only remaining light was that of the moon's, streaming in from the large window positioned near Twilight's bed. "Goodnight Spike." Twilight must've been even more tired than Spike, because the dragon could see her quickly doze off, the blanket rising and falling with each deep breath she took. As Spike could feel himself drifting into sleep, he could've sworn that he saw something crawling along Twilight's blanket, making its way up to her head, before crawling into... her ear?

What a weird dream I'm having... I need to cut back on the veggies... With these lasts thoughts, Spike finally nodded off.

"Surprise!" Spike was in a chipper mood that morning. He'd managed to awaken before Twilight had, and figured he'd give her a treat; the soup he'd made last night. After all, she said she could eat it every day, right? And here she came now, slowly, so slowly down the stairs.

Turning her head slowly, Twilight gave Spike a look that was as sour as a gallon of milk left out in the sun for an hour. "Oh boy, I get up, want to start the day slowly, and what do I get? The male version of Pinkie Pie shouting in my face."

Spike winced at the cruelly worded remark. It figures, the one morning he'd decided to treat Twilight was also the same morning she'd woken up on the wrong side of the bed. Nothing a good bowl of soup wouldn't fix. "Check out what I made for you Twilight!" As Twilight sat down at the table, Spike slid the dish across the table, the broth and vegetables sloshing around inside, the same wonderful smell from before rising along with accompanying steam.

Twilight looked down at the bowl. Then back up at Spike. "Okay," she muttered. "What do you want?"

"...Huh?"

Her glare was piercing, and struck him like an arrow. "I asked, 'What do you want?' Do you need bits again? Because the last time you blew them all on stupid gems."

Apparently, Twilight had not only woken up on the wrong side of the bed, but also had fallen out face first. "I... I don't want anything. I just thought, you know, you liked the soup so much last night, that-"

"That you could get away with serving me the same thing, you lazy idiot?"

"Yeah, that's... Wait, I mean no!" Spike could feel himself stumbling over his words.

Twilight shoved the bowl away, giving a grunt of annoyance. "Here I am, thinking for once you're going to give me a good meal, and all you do is reheat the soup that Fluttershy made for me last night. Way to go, Spike." The baby dragon watched as Twilight promptly got up and walked to the front door, levitating a small pouch that held her bits from a nearby table. "I'm going out to eat. I'd say don't come with me, but I suppose you're going to tag along and mooch off my hard earned bits anyway." Spike had to quickly pick his jaw up from off the floor and hurry after the unicorn.

For some reason, Spike couldn't help but feel as though something was a bit... off about his friend today.

Who was he kidding? Twilight was being a complete JERK. Did he say something wrong? Did the soup go bad? Was she just cranky? What?

"Look at them..." Twilight pointed at Sugar Cube Corner. "No doubt the Cakes are having fun taking advantage of the inability of ponies to resist sweets. Nothing like making your living by causing others to become morbidly obese."

"Um..." He'd never looked at Sugar Cube Corner like that before. "I guess if you put it like that..."

"Shut up, Spike." snorted Twilight. "Don't agree with me just to get on my good side."

"But..."

"Whatever you're about to say will probably be stupid. And we're here."

The Ponyville Cafe wasn't too crowded, since it hadn't reached lunch yet. That was when the place really started bustling. But for now, the two managed to quickly get seated. "No doubt they want to get us out of here as fast as possible, those money-grubbers." Twilight commented at one point.

Spike could only marvel and the unicorn's comments. "The waiter sure is taking his sweet time. Guess there's at least one pony in this town that hates our guts." "What, no calorie counts on the menu? Their food is so unhealthy that they can't fit the number of calories on one page." "Spike, why are you staring at me like I have two heads? Am I making you uncomfortable, jerk?"

It was in the middle of his barely palatable hay sandwich (What dragon likes eating hay, after all?), when something besides Twilight's words caught his attention. Spike rubbed his eyes, blinking them in disbelief. Was he hallucinating? Because, as the unicorn continued complaining, two small, blue cockroaches crawled right out of her ear.

"Um, Twilight?"

"What? Am I boring you? You wouldn't interrupt me if you were actually interested in hearing what I had to say."

"No! It's not that, it's just that... There are..."

"C'mon, out with it!"

"Bugs. Bugs are crawling out of your ear.”

Twilight gave Spike a hard look. “Am I really boring you THAT much? If you don’t want me to say anything, then fine!”

“But I’m…” Spike stopped. It was no use; Twilight was far too stubborn right now to listen to anypony or dragon.

He watched, unnerved by the sight of the two small pests making their way down Twilight’s body, finally taking their leave at her front left hoof. Twilight seemed oblivious, too concerned with how the water seemed slightly discolored.

“Uh… Oh, hey Rarity! Hey Pinkie Pie!” Spike was saved! Pinkie Pie and Rarity had just been led to the table next to them by one of the waiters. Surely Twilight would start being a bit more polite around her friends.

“Oh great,” Twilight sighed. “Just who I wanted to see, the two ponies in Ponyville who are too narcissistic to shut up. Who’s going to hog the most attention this time?”

Rarity and Pinkie Pie gave her a dumb look as Spike slapped his hand to his forehead.

Perhaps Twilight wouldn’t be improving anytime soon…

Pinkie Pie began giggling. “You’re funny Twilight!”

Rarity, however, just blinked a few times before answering Spike’s question. “I was just treating Pinkie Pie to a bit of breakfast, while I explain to her…” Spike’s eyes widened as he saw the same insect creature from before climbing up Rarity’s back hoof. “… why frosting is most certainly NOT…” The bug was crawling along her back, making its way towards her head. Spike attempted to give a warning, but no words left his mouth. “… An appropriate material to make dresses out of.”

“Sounds like you just hate being wrong…” Twilight grumbled.

That was when the bug crawled into Rarity’s ear.

Spike could feel his eye twitch, before shouting, “Rarity, some-“

“Some bug just crawled into your ear!” Pinkie Pie gasped.

Rarity raised an eyebrow. “I beg your pardon? Please, Pinkie, I’m not going to fall for that. Good try though. Anyway, about that frosting dress you were suggesting. I think…” Rarity stopped. She looked around, confused for a moment, before turning back to Pinkie, an annoyed look on her face, and said, “I think you’re trying to attract attention like the attention hog you are. No one can possibly be stupid or idiotic enough to suggest such a thing.”

“Oh, uh…” Pinkie seemed to deflate a bit from the insult. Normally jovial, laughter wasn’t as easy to come by when they’re at ones expense.

“Attention hog?” scoffed Twilight. “Hypocrite. You’re just trying to make yourself seem superior by picking on poor Pinkie here.”

“Yeah, thanks Twili-”

“Shut up, Pinkie!”

Spike could only watch as the insults went back and forth like a ball in a tennis game, and he saw two more bugs crawl out of, not only Twilight’s ear, but also Rarity’s. Then it came back to him; the night before! That dream he had… Or was it? A dream, that is. Perhaps something more sinister was at work…

“Pinkie!” The poor earth pony wasn’t sure what to do. Her friends were most certainly NOT having fun, and she wasn’t sure what kind of part could alleviate the situation. When Spike called her over, she seemed a bit relieved.

“Hey, Spike! Have you noticed Twilight and Rarity have been super mean today? I mean, they get cranky sometimes, but not like super duper cranky, and-”

Spike held a finger up to her mouth, silencing her. “I think I know what’s wrong. Was Rarity acting funny at all today?”

Pinkie tilted her head, scrunched up her eyes, and remarked, “Hmm… Nope! She was just fine, except for some reason not liking my frosting idea. She was just fine up until…” She let out an overdramatic gasp. “Until that bug!”

Spike nodded. “Exactly! C’mon, help me catch one! Maybe Fluttershy can tell us what it is!”

“Okey dokey lokey!” Pinkie Pie grinned, before diving at Rarity.

“Gah!” the unicorn cried. “Pinkie Pie, stop trying to fit your blasted hoof inside my ear! If this is your feeble attempt at getting my attention, it isn’t working! … Okay, it is, but I still don’t like it!”

Spike felt his hand slap itself against his forehead. He had the feeling he’d be doing that a lot today. “Pinkie, I meant grab one of the bugs that’s crawling around on the ground, not the one still in their heads! Oh, forget it…” Quickly grabbing his unfinished glass of water and used napkin, he made a dash for one of the bugs, which was, at the moment, heading straight for the leg of an oblivious earth pony at another table. Pouring the water on the ground, Spike slammed the now empty glass on top of the midnight blue cockroach, trapping it inside. He then slipped the napkin underneath the glass’ rim, and then flipped the glass over, effectively trapping the insect inside.

“Got it! I suppose some gems are in order for my…” Spike had turned around triumphantly, only to be greeted with the sight of roaches now crawling all over the place. And not only were Twilight and Rarity fighting, but it seemed as though the odd behavior had spread to half the café.

Perhaps the strangest thing was that half the ponies seemed to be oblivious, or at least unconcerned about the whole ordeal, mumbling to themselves or arguing with each other. The other half was reacting more appropriately. As in, screaming, swatting, and attempting to brush the blue insects off their bodies.

In all the time he’d known Pinkie Pie, Spike had never seen her incessant bouncing be so useful before, as she hopped up and down, squashing bug after bug. She shot Spike a smile. “Hey! Go show Fluttershy mister bug! I’m okay here!”

Spike nodded. Pinkie Pie would be fine. After all, if Pinkie Pie became a jerk like Twilight, what kind of a world would it be?

Shaking a few cockroaches off his leg, the dragon began his run to Fluttershy’s cottage, mysterious creature in hand.

“Fluttershy!” Spike loudly knocked on the door, practically breaking it down.

“Just a minute!” came the response from inside. Spike tapped his foot anxiously, listening as Fluttershy started unbolting her front door. He’d practically pounded the cobbled stone underneath him to pieces by the time Fluttershy finished unlocking her door. Opening up, she gave Spike a big smile. “Oh, hello. I wasn’t expecting company today.”

Spike brushed past her on his way into the cottage. “Yeah, well, looks like you’ve got me plus one extra house guest staying for a bit.”

“Oh? Is Twilight with you?” The pegasus could sense something was wrong, just by the tone of Spike’s voice. “Was the soup alright?”

“Trust me; the soup is the least of our worries. Could you look at this bug for me?” He placed the glass on the table, the tiny creature inside attempting to crawl up the smooth sides of the glass, but failing.

“Hmm…” Fluttershy trotted over to a desk, pulling out a magnifying glass. She moved back to the table with the bug on it, and examined it closely.

Spike twiddled his fingers impatiently. “Um… How are you able to hold the magnifying glass like that?”

“Iz all in da teef.” Fluttershy managed.

Several long moments passed. Spike could barely stand it. For every second that passed, there were more of those… things, crawling around, and doing who knows what! Hopefully Fluttershy was that who…

Fluttershy set down the magnifying glass. “Okay…”

“Well?!” Spike’s eyes lit up hopefully. “What is it?!”

“I… Um… Don’t know.”

“… What?”

Fluttershy’s eyes shifted back and forth nervously. “I’m so sorry! I’ve just never seen anything like it before in my life!”

The dragon crossed his arms speculatively. “YOU’VE never seen it before in your life? You’re Fluttershy! You know everything about animals!”

The pegasus looked down at her feet, pawing at the ground. “I know… I’m sorry…”

“Alright, it’s not your fault. What can you tell me about it?”

“Oh, well, that’s the funny thing. This is one of the weirdest insects I’ve ever seen.” Fluttershy, in a single bound, had shifted from sad to lecture in seconds flat. “I know a ton about insects in Equestria. Based on appearance and body structure, it’s safe to conclude that this is some sort of cockroach. The problem is, not a single species of cockroach I know of has this blue color to it. Most are just browns and blacks. Oh, well, there is the Arlot Fire Cockroach, but that’s green with white stripes, and that can fly.” Fluttershy gave the roach a worried glance. Can this one fly? I don’t want it buzzing around the house…”

“No. I’ve only seen it crawl on the ground.”

“Okay. Oh, um, also, if you don’t mind me mentioning it, for some reason, the bug seems, um magical? I think? At least, it has some markings that show some magical abilities. Has it done anything magical lately that you know of?”

Spike gave her a half grin. “I think I better explain on the way.”

“Um, on the way to what?”

“There’s a certain Princess I need to talk to. And not just through letter…”

Spike cautiously peeked around the corner of a building. His caution was fairly warranted, as Ponyville was now crawling with the little pests, filling crevices and blanketing the walls in an ugly midnight blue.

“Oh… I don’t know about this…” Fluttershy whimpered, peering around the corner with him. “What if they catch us?”

Spike gritted his teeth. “Well… I guess that’s a risk we’re going to have to take.” He’d explained to the pegasus all about what had transpired, starting from the night before when the cockroach had first nested in Twilight’s head. Spike couldn’t help but shiver at the thought; it was just so… creepy. If anyone would know what to do, it would be Princess Celestia.

“Can’t we just send her a note?”

“We already talked about this! We need to show her the insect ourselves! You think she’d actually believe us if we wrote, ‘Ah! Bugs are crawling into our ears! Help us!’”

Fluttershy gave a little, nervous grin. “Um… I’d believe it.”

The plan was simple. Pinkie Pie had borrowed Twilight’s hot air balloon the other day and still had it. Although Spike was small enough that Fluttershy could actually carry him, there was no way the two could make it all the way to Canterlot that way. They’d sneak past the bugs, take the balloon, and head to Canterlot to find out what exactly that bug was, and why it was making everyone act weird. OH, and to find out why all of Ponyville was now infested with the little beasts.

He watched as a pony was overwhelmed by a swarm of roaches, screaming for help, only to have ponies walk by nonchalantly, some even yelling at her to quiet down. After a few moments where the pony was lost from sight, the swarm parted, leaving a mare that had a sour look on her face, muttering something about how Celestia wanted to cook them all with the sun it was so hot. Spike gulped, ducking back behind the corner of the building.

“Is the coast clear?” Fluttershy inquired hopefully.

“Um… Yeah… I think we’re going to have to run for it.” Sugarcube Corner was right across the street, and Spike could see the hot air balloon tethered to Pinkie’s bedroom window on the top floor. Why did Pinkie Pie insist on keeping the balloon constantly floating in the air? The dragon wasn’t sure, but if he could guess, it was because no balloon that Pinkie had was ever deflated. Ever. The fuel cost most be astronomical, though. “Wait a second… Better idea! Fluttershy, fly me up there!”

“Oh, um…” Fluttershy attempted to flap her wings, but she was shaking so hard her wings wouldn’t even leave her sides. She was petrified.

Spike groaned. Wing-lock. Of all the days for Fluttershy to be so… Fluttershy. “Running it is.” He held a box containing the roach firmly under one arm, took a deep breath, and burst out of his hiding spot, rushing across the street. Fluttershy followed, managing to keep up despite her legs being comparable to jelly.

Roaches began converging on the two, starting to block their path to Sugarcube Corner. “C’mon Fluttershy! Faster!” Spike barreled into the front door, the pegasus following swiftly behind, shaking off a couple of bugs who’d managed to attach themselves to her legs. The dragon quickly shut the door behind him, and leaned against it, breathing heavily.

“Hello?” Spike turned to see who Fluttershy was talking to. Back to the both of them, a pink pony was rearranging a variety of pastries, mostly tarts and cinnamon buns, on a nearby shelf. “Pinkie Pie? Are you okay? I was so worried about you!”

Spike let out a sigh of relief. “Oh, it’s only you. I was worried the bugs had gotten to you! C’mon, we’re going to tell the Princess about the infestation. We need to use the balloon!”

Slowly, Pinkie turned to them. And with a hard, piercing glare, she hissed, “So, you’re here to mooch off the goodies I’ve made? Think I’m just going to hand over my life’s work to you? I think you’ve got another thing coming.” At that last remark, Pike witnessed the very last thing he wanted to see. A midnight blue roach crawled out of Pinkie Pie’s ear.

“Fluttershy.” Spike said, voice strangely calm.

“Um, yeah?”

“Run.”

Suddenly, roaches started bursting out of cupboards and cabinets, starting to flood the room as both Fluttershy and Spike made a dash for the stairs. The dragon could hear small crunching noises as small exoskeletons began yielding from the weight of each step he took.

“And now you’re just going to take the balloon without asking first?!” A shrill voice sounded behind them, as the two made there way quickly up the stairs. “Bet you’re going to go joyriding, aren’t you?!”

Spike could hear skittering and scratching as the bugs followed them, hot on their trail, before finally… “The top floor!” The dragon dashed for the window, undoing the latch and throwing it open. Fluttershy practically leapt out the window into the hot-air balloon’s basket, grabbing the box Spike was carrying on the way. Fiddling with the rope, Spike looked over his shoulder only to see the roaches pouring from the doorway, intent on catching their prey. He began sweating, fingers now clumsy and unable to undo the knot. The sea of blue was nearly on top of him when… “Ah, screw it.” With a quick slash of his claws, the rope was severed, and Spike held on tightly as the balloon quickly floated up into the air, taking him along with it. The roaches would have to abandon their chase for now, their prey safely out of reach.

It felt like an eternity before Spike could finally see the mighty castle of the reigning monarchs. He and Fluttershy had kept a close eye on their tiny friend, on the off chance he managed to escape. It had been a difficult trip, as neither Fluttershy nor Spike had ever flown the hot-air balloon on their own before. Usually it was Pinkie or Twilight that operated it.

Spike sighed. If only Pinkie was here right now. Or Twilight. Especially Twilight…

“Don’t worry Spike.” Fluttershy gave the dragon a friendly nuzzle with her nose. “It’s not like they’re… um… gone or anything. We just need to figure out how to get them back to normal. Then we can all have soup together, okay?”

Was this real? Fluttershy was the one being strong here? Spike chuckled. “Right. I’m sorry; I’m just a bit worried is all. I just hope-” Suddenly Spike could feel a sharp jolt as the balloon struck something. “Um, Fluttershy? Who was watching where we were going?”

“I thought you were. I was busy comforting you.”

“And I was busy being comforted!”

A quick glance confirmed they had collided with one of the spires of Celestia’s castle. The good news was that they’d finally arrived. The bad news was that the spire had managed to puncture the balloon. And as the air billowed out, the material began to rip.

The duo exchanged glances of panic. There was another jolt as the balloon began sinking, kept up only by the little air that remained and the material caught on the spire’s point.

“Spike!” Fluttershy cried out. “Grab hold of me!” The baby dragon leapt into the pegasus’ two front hooves, and he could feel her lift off barely seconds before the basket beneath them began plummeting to the ground. Both watched as the basket smashed into little pieces, a good two hundred foot drop. Fluttershy’s stamina began to wane, and she quickly glided down, landing in the castle’s garden, which was decorated with various statues and a large hedge maze. “Sorry…” She panted. “I’m not used to carrying any animal as big as you for that long.”

“It’s fine.” Spike was just thankful he’d gotten out of there alive. “Let’s just go see the Princess, so she can-”

“Ah yes, the Princess. Just what WILL you tell her?” A malicious voice echoed through the garden.

The two glanced around, trying to find the source of the voice. “Who… Who’s there?!” Spike cried out, trying to sound braver then he felt. He could feel his stomach knotting up. What had he gotten himself into?

“What, don’t you remember me? It hasn’t been that long…” The statue of Discord began glowing. “Has it?”

Fluttershy let out a gasp. “Discord! But we sealed you in stone!”

The two walked up to the glowing statue as the voice continued; “Ah, yes, that was rather unfortunate, now, wasn’t it?”

Spike scratched his head in confusion. “But… How are you talking?”

“Impressive, no? With all the chaos that’s been going on in the world, I’ve been working on saving up energy for my next escape. Sadly, it took me a good, oh, two thousand years or so to build up enough chaotic power for the last escape. So starting over it’s been… What a few months or so? Only two thousand years to go.”

“… And the talking?”

The sounding of fingers snapping reverberated inside Spike’s brain. “Oh, right! I figured, if I can use that power to break free, than surely I can use it to carry a conversation! Dinky and I have been having some fabulous chess games because of this!”

“That’s great…” Spike grumbled. “But we have to go, we have an infestation to stop. Let’s go, Fluttershy.”

“An infestation, you say? This wouldn’t happen to be an infestation of, say, small, blue cockroaches?” Spike and Fluttershy froze. “Oh, that seems to have caught your attention. Let me tell you a little story. I can be patient, but waiting another two thousand years for round two can be a little annoying. So, I thought to myself, well, all I need to do is cause a bit more chaos in the world… Could you imagine if the amount of energy I received was doubled? Tripled? Quadrupled? I’d be out of this stony prison in a mere five hundred years! Then it occurred to me… Why don’t I? If I can talk, surely I’ve gained enough power to create a little, teensy tiny insect.”

Spike’s eyes widened, realization suddenly flooding through him. “You mean…?”

Despite being solid rock, he could’ve sworn that a smile stretched across Discord’s face. “That little bugger I’ve designed is designed to get in a creature’s head. Literally. Its sole purpose is to attach itself to the brain, causing the poor victim to become- Listen, this is the best part.- incredibly cynical about everything! They’ll bicker with other, look down on those they judge inferior, and with a whole kingdom of them, well… I suppose you might say it’ll be a little chaotic.” Discord laughed a horrible, horrible laugh, as Fluttershy and Spike exchanged glances.

“Well…” Spike gulped. “We’ll tell the Princess! She’ll stop you!”

“Oh really? Tell me, how do you plan to convince her about all this?”

The dragon smiled. “Because we have proof! Fluttershy, show him the bug we captured!”

“Um… I don’t have it.”

Spike turned to her. “What?!”

“It must’ve dropped when the balloon fell…”

“So its somewhere in the castle?!”

Discord let out a chortle of amusement. “I think you know what that means.” His chortle broke out into a deep laugh, as Spike and Fluttershy rushed off in the direction of the Princess’ private chambers.

They’d encountered no resistance throughout the entire castle. It was as though all the guards had abandoned their posts, perhaps in fear, or maybe because they no longer cared about their jobs. “Princess?” Fluttershy nervously called out, peeking her head through the large doorway that led into Celestia’s room.

“Oh please, come in!” A pleasant voice replied.

Spike and Fluttershy quickly dashed into the room, shutting the door behind them.

"Princess, this is an emergency!"

"Oh?" The Princess looked genuinely concerned.

"Oh, yes!" Fluttershy added. "There's been a horrible infestation of terrible creatures... These insects that crawl into your head and making you one of the worst things of all... cynical."

The Princess walked over to them, before finally saying. "Sounds like a load of bull. You just want to bunk in my castle don't you?" Spike and Fluttershy looked at her horrified as a roach crawled out of the Princess' ear, and more began appearing from behind the ramparts and curtains."Obviously you're here because of selfish reasons, like most of my subjects." The insects began encircling the two, surrounding them, and the circle began to close in. "Selfishness. That's all I see, selfishness!"

Spike's mind raced. What could he do? What was there to do? "Um, Fluttershy? Any ideas?"

"I... I think this is it... It was nice knowing you... As a nice pony, that is. Um... Princess?"

"What?" Was the sharp response.

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry if you think that about us. Really."

The Princess' eyes narrowed in confusion. "Oh, um... I guess that's... Alright."

Fluttershy's eyes began to well up. "Because i know how hard it is, having pressure put on you, and sometimes the world just seems out to get you, but sometimes you just have to push past it all..." The bugs started backing off. "And try to see the world in a more positive light, no matter how badly it treats you!"

The Princess looked flabbergasted, as though unable to comprehend what she was hearing. "I... I suppose..." Clenching the sides of her head, the Celestia let out a massive scream. "GET OUT OF MY HEAD!"

Spike couldn't help but slap a hand to his forehead at the cheesiness of the moment, and also indisbelief at how the insects were beginning to die all around them, speeched to death by Fluttershy. The Princess herself was shking her head back and forth, before, finally, a small bug fell out, curled up in a ball, unmoving.

"Really?" Spike sighed. "The way to kill these insects is with kindness?"

"I... I guess so." Fluttershy mumbled, amazed at the results a stirring sentence could bring.

Celestia lay exhausted by their feet, having passed out from the immense stress of the moment.

A moment of silence passed.

Turning to Fluttershy, Spike gave her a sly grin, before saying, "Give those vocal chords a rest. I have a feeling we have a long day of supportive comments ahead of us."