Luna makes toast.

by overlord-flinx

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Luna
Length: 1187

One average morning, one average princess, one average kitchen, and one average bag of whole wheat bread slices... No one could mess this up.

One average morning, one average princess, one average kitchen, and one average bag of whole wheat bread slices... No one could mess this up.

One-Shot about beloved Luna doing perhaps one of the most mundane of tasks.

Published 2013-06-12 02:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-06-12 02:10:01 UTC

Toast

Salutations my beloved sister Luna,

I left this note here for you because, well, you looked so very at peace curled against your pillow. You even had that little bit of drool at the corner of your lip. You know the one. The one you get when you have flighty dreams of so-and-so. I digress. It would have been a crime to have woken you up when you seemed so happy sleeping in. Regardless, I have left this note to inform you on a few details for your day since I won't be able to tell you myself. Working the morning hours of the castle is no easy task, I remind you. Yet, I have faith you will not falter.

-Check that the sun is in alignment.

-Perform an alert check on the royal guards.

-Add a new layer to the magic barrier around the castle.

-Make sure that Ponyville's reports are properly organized for future viewing.

-Check if the Changelings have finished making that statue of Queen Chrysalis flipping the bird at our castle yet.

-Do fifty wing-ups.

-Eat a hearty breakfast.

That will cover the morning duties for you. I wish you the best of luck, sister. Also, be warned, due to lack of foresight, I allowed the morning chef the day off today. If I had remembered you would be eating breakfast, I would have asked him to take his day off another day. However, I have faith in you sister. That is why I have put a sandwich in the fridge for you. Just take it out and eat that.

Love,

Celestia.

Celestia... How little faith did she have? Written on her very stationary, in her personal ink, and with her informal voicing she had indirectly as well as directly insulted her only sister. Luna, princess of the night and ruler of all that was dark, had been slapped upon the cheek from her elder sister. 'Just take it out and eat that'? She should have just wrote "I know you can't cook worth a buck; so I made you something SO simple, even you can't mess it up". Such little faith. But, she would show her sister that she was not to be underestimated!

Luna stormed down the halls of Canterlot castle, purpose echoing along with the claps of her naked hooves against the dull carpet flooring. Guard after guard she passed shot a proud salute with their hoof to head or wing to snout as need be. Aside from an informal nod from Luna herself, she gave little acknowledgement to the actions offered to her. She had a mission; a quest. One that was awaiting her at the end of the hall; through the double doors. The kitchen doors flew open with Luna's magic keeping them agape for her arrival. Heads would have turned and mouths would let out gasps at the mere sight of such a rarity... However, not a soul was even there; which, admittedly, Luna felt a bit let down by.

"Yes... My entrance need not have spectators anyway..." she grumbled to herself with a root of embarrassment brought to her, "Nay have I even ventured out from my dwelling to cast looms of power upon subjects, in honesty. Truth, I have ventured into the bowels of the culinary fortress on a greater errand," Luna took a few soft steps to the side of the kitchen counter, locating there a supply of bread. "To prove mine own sister a fool!"

Her eyes set upon the soft, perfectly sliced loaves of bread resting upon the firm surface of the cutting board. Not a single slice was cut too wide or uneven. Each perfectly made and allowed to fall gingerly over the other as the source of the loaves remained bouncy and giving at the base of the collection. Luna studied these slices carefully; being ever so sure to not have any take her by surprise. This was her realm now; and these layers of baked wheat chunks would bow to her will.

"Hold... In what manner did that limerick Lord Pipsqueak bestowed upon me go again?" Luna mused a thought to herself, trying to recall the lesson Pipsqueak had taught her.

When ya' got a hankering to be fed,
All you need is a sweet slice of bread,
With this recipe you can always boast,
Because with it you can make some toast,
Just remember the recipe I said.

"...Dastard! There was no recipe in that poem!" Luna cursed to the high heavens, "I shall need to improvise..."

Looking about her collective of bread slices, she absorbed her surroundings in. Though Pip's poem offered her little, it did give her an idea. Toast. Yes. The most basic form of alchemy... The art of taking one thing and manipulating it through dark means to turn it into a new and vastly altered construct. If she could pull this off, Celestia would no doubt have to take back her rude inclination. Luna took a slice of bread against her horn, impaling it at the crust before looking about the kitchen again. "To where hast the royal chef placed the---AH-HAH!" Luna cut herself off as she spotted her desired target.

"The alchemy device!" The toaster as the commoners called it. Luna scraped her horn against the slot of the toaster and loaded her piece of bread into it as carefully as she could. She had seen that contraption burn even the hardest of tarts to a golden brown; she did not dare trifle with it for long. But, this was important. Luna assessed the slice of bread over once, making sure it was just right inside the toaster's slot. Once she was sure, she clipped her hoof against the tab on the side, sending that brave, lone piece of bread into the depths of the device's coiling heat.

Waiting...

Waiting...

Waiting...

Luna did not blink once... Watching as the dark slot of the toaster seared red with heat building up within it... Alchemy was such an interesting process... And yet, it was also a long one... Surely... If Luna, princess of the night, blustered the power of the toaster, it would produce twice as much toast from the single slice of bread. Such was simple logic with magic. Thus, Luna sparked the hue of darkness from her horn and aimed a light twinkle to the heating toaster. Just enough--

"...You just couldn't eat the sandwich, could you?" Celestia, ruler of Equestria, sighed as she stood over the crumbled, charmed remains of her throne room.

The mass of Canterlot guards hustled from one side of the obliterated castle to the other, unsure of what they could even do as every brick laid in ruin with layers of black crust marked over every inch of them. The only body other than Celestia that was not overlooking the damage was Princess Luna as she stood beside her sister, munching on the fruits of her victory. "And thou said I could nay make breakfast on my own..." Luna scoffed in victory, enjoying the taste of a flaky piece of toast against her mouth.