Chapters His Vector Grey
Chapter 1
Gifts
Spike lay asleep in his basket in the upper level of the library. Twilight's tendency to fret and worry and study sometimes kept him awake at night, so when he had absolute nothing to keep him from going to sleep, he appreciated it all the more.
Of course, there being nothing to prevent him from GOING to sleep said nothing of whether or not something was going to wake him up AFTER he fell asleep.
His developing dragon ears- not much more than holes in the sides of his head- picked up the sound of paper rustling. Normally, he would dismiss it, but something about it seemed off. Library books didn't sound like that...
In curiosity and in concern, he opened his eyes, threw off his blanket, and made his way down the stairs.
Peeking over the corner of the door, Spike saw a veritable flock of magazines on the Twilight's desk. He found this strange, as Twilight much preferred hardcover and paperback books over glossy magazines and gaudy articles.
Spike decided to go over and read the magazines. Maybe that would explain why Twilight made an exception for them?
Ruffling through, Spike found the magazines didn't have a lot in common. One was on rings and jewelry, another was on collars and chokers, and then the next one after that was advertising a catering company that specialized in sweets. And after that was on dresses!
"Ooh...none of these magazines are any help." Spike heard Twilight groan. "I need something nice to-"
To what? Spike wondered, turning around to see Twilight, tiredly conferring her issue with her pet owl. She saw him, too.
"SPIKE!"
Oh, gem scraps! Spike forgot it was past his bedtime and he wasn't supposed to be up!
"Twilight, I can explain!"
"I don't care!" Twilight snapped at him. "Baby dragons need their rest! Go back to bed this instant!"
"But I-"
"NOW, Spike!"
"Okay, okay!" Spike threw his claws up to show he surrendered. "I'm going! I'm going!"
Spike walked up the stairs sideways, making sure to face Twilight with his open arms. Twilight glared at him all the way up the stairs, cowing him like a sheep dog herding an out of line member of its flock.
Once he was halfway up the stairs, Twilight was satisfied and turned around to the magazines, placing her knees on the table and looking down at the piles of gloss paper.
Spike looked over his shoulder to see her shoving one aside from the pile and flipping through it. What was she trying to find that was giving her so much distress?
Spike crawled into his basket and tried to fall back asleep, but his mind preferred wondering what Twilight was trying to over the idea of shutting down. He twisted and turned, a brillion questions in his head. She was always upset when he was up past bedtime, but why did she seem so...angry at him for rooting through her magazines?
Why?
Eventually, he found his sleep again, though the mystery of the magazine was going to be the first thing on his mind when he woke up.
When he woke up, however, was not his decided time to. Instead of yawning and stretching as he normally would, he found himself being nudged and whispered to softly.
"Spike..." Twilight began. "Spike, wake up. I have a treat for you."
At the notion of a treat, Spike immediately propped himself up. "Treat? What kind of treat?"
Twilight smiled with a serenity to it and held out her hoof. In it was a blue bowl filled with ice cream, chocolate syrup, cut-up bananas, and a cherry on top.
"A sundae?" Spike happily questioned, eagerly taking the bowl into his claws. Once it was in his grasp, however, he thought of a question. "But why?"
"I feel bad about last night." Twilight answered. "I didn't mean to snap at you. I had just trying to find a gift for . . . somepony. I'm sorry."
"Gift for who?" Spike asked, alternating between speaking and shoveling spoonfuls of the ice cream into his mouth.
Twilight looked away. "Somepony special. That's why I'm having so much trouble figuring out a gift for . . . them." There was a delay in her sentence, near the end. Like she was literally choking herself to keep certain words from being used.
Spike completely missed the emphasis Twilight was putting on her pronoun. "How bad could it be?"
"What if I get them something they don't want or don't like? Will they still want to be . . . friends with me? What if I get something that offends them, and they don't ever want to see me again!?" Twilight flailed her legs in the air as she explained to Spike her worries. Spike was starting to wonder what was making Twilight sound like she was choking so much.
"Calm down, Twilight." Spike told her casually, dismissing her like it was another of her unnecessary freakouts she was so prone to. "Just get them something they like."
"WHAT DO THEY LIKE!?" Twilight bellowed, the volume of her voice blowing Spike out of his basket. He just barely clung onto his sundae as he was blown away. "That's the problem!"
"Well..." Spike raked himself for ideas. "You know, I could help out more if I knew who it was you were trying to get a gift."
"Whom!" Twilight corrected. Spike rolled his eyes, really really not caring.
"So . . . who is it?" Spike repeated. His mind wandered to Twilight's friends, and why she would be having trouble getting any of them gifts. Rarity would do with a fancy, expensive jewel. Or a stallion, maybe, but he didn't think ponies could go out and buy those. Applejack didn't care much for gifts, so a fruit basket would probably be the best bet. Something edible. Rainbow Dash had no reservations about letting ponies know what she wanted. Fluttershy was so timid and naive that any gift meant for her would probably give her an anxiety attack. And Pinkie Pie...
What would a pony get Pinkie Pie, anyway? She lived in a bakery, so chocolate and cake were out. Spike didn't know how Pinkie felt about gems, or fruit baskets or... a stallion.
Twilight was pacing while Spike roamed around in his own head.
"Well..." Spike scratched his head. "What's the occasion?"
Twilight glared at him, confused. "Occasion?"
"Yeah. You know, the reason you're getting a gift in the first place?"
Twilight sat on her haunches and stared off into space. "The reason I'm getting a gift . . . " She murmured airily, sounding distant and detached from reality.
"Twilight?" Spike asked, growing concerned from the spacey look in her eye. "Twilight?" He waved his claw at her, earning no response. He put his sundae down and walked over and pinched her.
"YOW!" Twilight yelped. She looked at Spike, having come back from her daydream. She looked ready to yell at him, but she realized what happened and turned away, embarrassed. ". . . Thanks."
"Soo . . . " Spike drawled. "The occasion?"
Twilight shirked. Why was she so unwilling to tell him what the occasion was?
"Duuhmmm . . . it's . . . celebrating our . . . friendship!" Twilight's hesitance was suddenly replaced by enthusiasm at the last word that Spike had no reason to be suspicious of. "We're celebrating how long we've been friends!"
"Okay . . . but, is it just one of your friends?" Spike questioned, concerned that Twilight was singling out somepony of her close circle when they had been friends for an equal amount of time with each other.
"Well, yes." Twilight admitted, the drop in her voice suggesting she was aware of Spike's concern. "But this friend likes to, uh . .. record landmarks in our time together!"
"Landmarks?" Spike questioned.
"Yeah!" Twilight affirmed.
"O...kay then." Spike turned to his sundae. "Well, I'm no help. Why don't you just give her a sundae like you did for me?"
Twilight groaned. "Because that's an apology sundae, Spike! Not a friendship hallmark sundae!"
Hmm. What a Pinkie-esque thing to say. Spike dismissed the thought quickly and took another bite of his sundae.
"Hmm . . . you know what? This sundae is great, but it could use some gems." Spike said, trying not to upset Twilight while still expressing his desire for gems.
"I don't have any gems for you right now. I still need to go to the store . . ." Twilight sadly told him.
"Ah, that's okay." Spike walked over to a cabinet and pulled out a drawer, from which he plucked a large, kind of pretty, but not that pretty, cyan brilliant-cut jewel. "I keep a secret stash for when you're out. Though I guess it's not a secret anymore!"
Twilight's eyes locked onto the jewel. "Do you have another one like that in there?"
"Uh, I think so." Spike answered. "Why?"
"Because that would be perfect for my gift. It's nice, in a way, but it's not some billion-bit piece of jewelry that's worth more our house."
"Oh. Well . . . I guess I could give you this one." Spike said, holding the gem out for her.
Twilight was reluctant. "Are you sure?"
"Yeah! Rarity has a bunch of them. I mean, a BUNCH of them. In fact, she gave me this one because she had too many and said if I wanted another one (or two or three, heheh) all I had to do was ask!" Spike tossed the jewel across the room, Twilight catching midair with her magic. Twilight regarded it reservedly before she levitated it into the pocket of her hair.
"Thanks, Spike. You really have no idea how much this means to me."
Spike dismissed her with a wave of his claw, not realizing the truth of Twilight's words. He really did have no idea how much it meant to her. "No problem!" He plucked an emerald from the door and started trying to grind it into his sundae.
Twilight left the room, evidently happy with Spike's sacrifice. Spike didn't hear her mutter something about the color pink.
Later in the afternoon, close to lunchtime, Spike didn't he was going to be diverted from his meal just yet, as he had only started to work on it. An ooey-gooey mess of a recipe that was barely made cohesive by the high concentration of chemicals in the gem. He put it in the over, waited for some time, and pulled it out, setting it on the table to cool.
He stared at, his tongue flopping from the side lustfully, as he waited for it to be safe to eat.
(How eerily prophetic.)
As it was, he put a claw on it to gauge it's temperature. The hiss on his scales was . . . telling, at the least.
But as he stood there, waiting patiently for his treat. He heard a creak, like somepony trying to sneak into the library. However, when he looked at the library entrance, the door was untouched.
"Huh." Spike said to himself before refocusing his attention on the meal. Then he heard ANOTHER door creak, followed by...giggling? It sounded like giggling. Frowning and furrowing his little scaly eyebrows, he started prowling around to find out what it was. He was upset at being lured away from his treat, but he really shouldn't have been. Who was going to eat it while he wasn't looking? Twilight? The owl?
He came 'round on a door with a gold doorknob and keyhole. He walked right past it, at first, but a deep breath from the other side caused him to back up and try to barge it. No matter how hard he shook the knob with his claws, it wouldn't budge. Must've been locked really well.
Spike stopped, grumbled to himself a little, then tried peeping in through the keyhole.
He didn't really understand what he saw.
There was a bed inside a room that was decorated in pink. Twilight and Pinkie Pie were both lying on it, Twilight in Pinkie's lap. The keyhole was not so great at transferring sound, but from the slight change in her belly, Spike reasoned Twilight was . . . purring?
Spike put his ear to the door, trying to hear something.
"So, what do you want to do today?" He heard Pinkie ask.
"Any and everything you want is fine." He heard Twilight reply in a very unusual low tone.
"Yeah, but I'm asking what you want to do."
"I just want you to be here."
Pinkie groaned. "Twilight-"
Spike pressed his ear against the door harder and harder, trying to make sure the sound was at its best quality, but he eventually pressed his head on the door so hard he lost his footing on the ground and fell over, causing a thunk!
Splayed out on the floor, Spike could hear them from underneath the door's bottom.
"What was that?"
"I don't know. I'll go see."
Spike scrambled to his feet and scurried over back the kitchen. He barely made the jump from one room to the next before he heard the door unlock. He just narrowly avoided trouble, this time...
"Huh. Nopony or nothing there...although...just to be safe..." He heard Twilight say to herself.
Great! Now Spike would never find out what was going on between Pinkie and Twilight were doing- or- or why or...no, wait, that was pretty much it, actually. The how was unimportant, and he knew the when and where.
After he heard the door lock back up, he sneaked back over to find Twilight's owl on his perch set up by the door. It looked like he was...standing guard? Weird.
Observing him, Spike happened on an idea. He wiggled over and started trying to sweet-talk the nocturnal bird.
"Hey, you know what Twi and Pinkie are doing in there?"
The owl nodded.
"Would you mind telling me?"
The owl shook his head no.
Spike was frustrated. "Oh, come on! Why can't I know?"
The owl just held out a feather like a disapproving finger.
Spike's eye twitched. He did not just get told off by an owl, a creature of inferior intellect to a dragon!
Actually, most owls and dragons were neck-and-neck in smarts. Dragons just live longer, so. On top of that, Twilight's owl was smarter than Spike.
"Please?" Spike begged. "Just a little peek?"
The owl seemed to mull over this, then nodded, apparently deciding to allow him his "peek."
The owl floated over, grabbed the doorknob in his talon, and pulled the door open slightly.
Spike carefully tiptoed over, careful not to make a sound. With the door now open, Spike peered inside to see Twilight and Pinkie were in the same position as earlier, Pinkie on her back, Twilight in Pinkie's lap.
"Ready?" Pinkie asked Twilight.
"Ready!" Twilight answered.
Pinkie took her hoof and propped Twilight's head up. She hesitated, but then she went in closer, took in a deep breath, and exhaled on Twilight's neck. Twilight made a very pleased "oooh!" sound.
"You just can't get enough of me, can you?" Pinkie asked with some odd mixture of concern and self-pride.
"Nnooo..." Twilight answered quietly. "More?"
Pinkie giggled. "Sure. More."
Pinkie stuck her tongue out and started licking the back of Twilight's neck. Twilight moaned and cooed and purred. Spike was captivated by the sight. It was like watching a helpless, caught animal in some predator's sweet-yet-ironclad grasp.
"What are they doing?" Spike asked, more to himself than to the owl.
"Did you hear something?" Twilight asked Pinkie.
Once more, with feeling...gem scraps! Spike hightailed and made a straight beeline for the bedroom upstairs, hoping against all odds that he would be out of sight before Twilight saw him.
Once inside the room, he locked the door. It's not that he wanted to keep Twilight out, he was just in a panic. He dived for his basket and tried to appear innocent.
After he had a moment to calm down and catch his breath, he saw the owl sitting on his roost in the room, apparently chuckling.
"You!" Spike accused, with a claw pointed to match. "You were trying to get me in trouble, weren't you!?"
The owl quit laughing and rolled his eyes. He made a gesture with his wing as if to say: "Not quite."
Spike intensified his glare at him. Was the bird trying to teach him a lesson, or something stupid like that?
Of course, even now, he still didn't know what was going on.
He heard the doorknob rattle.
"That's strange...why is it locked?"
Spike put his claws over his face. He rushed over the door open and unlocked, immediately swinging it open to beg forgiveness.
"Twilight I'm sorry I didn't know and everything happened so fast and I-"
"Whoa, whoa!" Twilight held out a hoof. "Calm down, Spike. What happened?"
Spike didn't know what to say. He didn't know what happened! He also couldn't let Twilight know Spike had been spying on her and Pinkie. He thought on it for a moment and realized his best ticket out was in what he had already said.
"I don't know!" Spike said, throwing his claws in the air.
"So you ran up the stairs and locked the door?" Twilight questioned.
Spike wasn't sure how to answer.
Twilight suddenly pulled him into a tight embrace. "You poor thing! Something must've scared you out of your mind! I came up here because I saw you left your meal on the table, but...oh, you poor thing!"
"Yeah..." Spike chuckled, feeling a little guilty for the sympathy that he didn't entirely deserve. "Poor me..."
"Come on." Twilight patted him on the back. "I'll warm up your lunch, and we can eat together. Pinkie's going to be having lunch with us. I hope you don't mind."
"Why would I?" Spike questioned nervously as he brought down the stairs. He sat down at the table with Twilight and Pinkie, both of whom made no notice of any weird things they may have doing earlier. Twilight blasted Spike's cold bowl with her magic, making it steam and hiss again. She pushed across the table over to him.
"Here ya go!"
"Thanks..." Spike nervously began scooping up mouthfuls.
Twilight and Pinkie noticed his behavior. Pinkie leaned in close to Twilight and whispered.
"You think he saw us?"
"Maybe. It would explain some things." Twilight whispered back in response.
Twilight would deal with later. Now, they were going to enjoy a lunch with each other.
Author's Note
I've never really written a Spike-centric story before this one.
In my universe(s), pony manes and tails can work as pockets. Exactly how Twilight keeps a freakin' GEM in her hair without it weighing down her head to the point she can't walk, I have no idea.
By Darkryt Orbinautz
His Vector Grey
Chapter 2
Denial, Denial, Denial.
Twilight, Pinkie, and Spike all ate their food in a medium pace between nervously slow and not nervously slow. Each one knew they there was something wrong- an elephant in the room- but nopony wanted to address it. No pony was sure how to address it.
After they finished eating, Spike got out of his seat and began gathering up dishes. It was his job, being the assistant, after all.
"Spike?" Twilight asked uncertainly. "Would you mind letting Pinkie help with the dishes?"
Spike was confused. Pinkie wasn't living with them anymore. In fact, that arrangement had been entirely temporary as far he knew, so she shouldn't be doing chores. On top of that, Twilight never made his job that easy. Sometimes she would give him a break, sure, and maybe give up a small luxury to make his life easier, but never something to the extent of having a helper.
Deciding to take advantage, Spike agreed. "Sure!" He handed the stack of bowls and plates and silverware to Pinkie and began to trot off towards the door, getting slightly ahead of himself.
"Uh, there's not that many, so can I go out?"
Twilight nodded. "Yes."
Spike pumped his fist. "Yes! I'm gonna go see Rarity!"
"Have fun." Twilight wished him.
Spike had a 'secret' crush on Rarity that everypony knew about, so of course his first priority would be to see her, maybe help her collect gems, and possibly woo her, sweeping her off her hooves. (That last one was not quite as likely as he himself liked to believe)
And . .. maybe he could ask her about what he had seen Pinkie and Twilight doing.
He was almost out of the room when he heard a clatter he recognized as a dish being dropped. Rather than immediately go back in and ask if everypony was okay, he stuck the corner of the door and started to eavesdrop.
"Pinkie, are you okay!?" He heard Twilight yell.
"I'm fine!" Pinkie quickly answered with urgency in her voice. "I just realized something!"
"What?"
Spike tried to listen in, but Pinkie's voice turned into a quiet whisper that he could barely make out, even with his dragon hearing. When the whispering stopped, he heard Twilight say his name.
"Spike! Are you still here?"
Spike sighed and nervously rounded the corner to see the two mares looking at him. He was so looking forward to seeing Rarity.
"Have you seen me and Pinkie do anything . . . unusual together?" Twilight asked.
Spike's heart skipped a beat. Did she know he had seen them!? If she did, how!? It was that owl, certainly. Owloyicous. Curse him!
"No." Spike fibbed, barely able to hide that his knees were buckling from anxiety and fear.
"Uh-huh . . ." Twilight gave a drawn-out nod, a small smile on her face like an icy cold, seductive baroness.
"And since you didn't see me and Pinkie do anything unusual together, you couldn't tell Rarity about it, Right? Since, you didn't see it, after all."
Spike's eyes widened. The question was a brilliant one. Spike had seen them, Twilight knew he had seen them, and her words were so expertly crafted as to be a denial of his acknowledging this, an acknowledging of his denial, and a denial of acknowledging his denial . . . or something. It was like Twilight was one step ahead of him.
"N-no." Spike stuttered. "I couldn't . . ."
"Good dragon." Twilight said briskly, turning to Pinkie. "Oh, and I'll be coming over to Rarity's later. I need to ask her about something . . ."
Spike fidgeted. He knew full well that really, Twilight was just going to come over and ask Rarity if Spike had told her anything. Or at least he thought he did. She did have something she wanted to ask Rarity about . . . but she was going to do that, too.
One out of two isn't that bad.
Shaken, Spike turned and stumbled his way out of the library. He very slowly closed the outside door with a creak, and was about to turn and run to Rarity's as fast he could when he heard Twilight and Pinkie talking. He decided to eavesdrop again.
Some ponies just never learn.
"Are you sure that was the right thing to say to Spike?" Pinkie questioned.
"No." Twilight answered. "But I don't know what to say, and I'm not ready for anypony -especially Rarity- to find out about us yet. You know how much she loves to gossip . . ."
"Okay . . ."
That made Spike's head spin. Us? Us who? Us how? His mind latched on to the nearest thing he could make sense, and that was defending Rarity, but let's face it; she really did love her some good gossip, and nothing Spike could say could change that.
He heard a disturbing, pleased moan from the other side of the door, followed by an exasperated sigh. He had no idea it was from Pinkie hugging Twilight, Twilight's reaction, and Pinkie reacting to Twilight's reaction.
Being so in love with Pinkie as she was, Twilight always enjoyed Pinkie's touch, but after a certain point, Pinkie had to wonder why Twilight liked it so much. Was she just made out of pleasure, or something? Pinkie would wonder to herself . . .
Spike rushed all the way from one end of Ponyville to another, his little dragon feet working double-time to get to Rarity's in a hurry. Not that there was any need for rushing; Twilight hadn't demanded he be back at a certain time or anything. But try telling him that.
Once he arrived to the Carousel Boutique, the resting place, nay, castle, of the 'most beautiful pony in the world', Spike pressed his face up against the glass doors, eyes scanning left and right in search of his crush.
She wasn't there. Not sewing a cloth, not fussing over a tiny detail on a dress, no suspicious glossy magazine she would always fold and put away whenever he came into the room, for whatever reason...
Not seeing any note that said she was out, or a closed sign, Spike entered the building, uninvited.
"Rarity?"
All he got to answer him was an empty silence.
Spike was beginning to get really freaked out, right now. First, Rarity is nowhere to be seen, then, she doesn't answer when he calls.
"Rarity!" He shouted, raising his voice. He whimpered when he didn't reply again.
Getting an idea- and with it, hope that the worst hadn't happened- he made his way up the stairs and pushed open the door to Rarity's bedroom.
Thankfully, and much to the ease of his queasy mind, Rarity was there, sleeping in late under her covers, a night mask over her eyes. Spike heaved a heavy sigh of relief.
And then he promptly swooned. Rarity looked beautiful, even in her sleep!
"Oh, Big Macintosh..." Rarity murmured, off in dream land.
Spike got to his feet, infuriated. What was so great about Big Macintosh!? What did he have that Spike didn't have!? Well, aside from his muscles, quietness, and understanding . . . ignoring all that.
Jealousy overriding his manners, Spike decided to wake her up. He had come to spend time with her, after all. He tiptoed on his talons and approached the bed, snickering quietly to himself as he was about to get back at Rarity for dreaming of Big Macintosh instead of him . . . or, something like that. It made sense in his head!
"What are you doing?"
Spike turned around with eyes as big as dinner plates to see Sweetie Belle, Rarity's younger sister, in the doorway, observing him with curiosity, wondering what he could possibly doing in her older sister's room...
Poised over her bed.
With his claw just about to rip off the cover.
In the dark.
(He hadn't turned the light switch on. What little light the room did have was seeping from the hallway.)
Spike quickly got over and chuckled nervously. "Ahaha! Yeah, this . . . must look really creepy to you, doesn't it?" He said, balancing on his tip toes.
"Yeah. Creepy." Sweetie Belle answered.
"Well, I came over to see Rarity, and she was asleep, so . . . I was gonna wake her up." Spike scratched his head, now realizing how rude that would've been after admitting it out loud.
Sweetie Belle guffawed. "GUH-HA! You thought you were going to wake up Rarity by taking her covers off her? No. No, no no no. Come with me." Sweetie Belle gestured with her hoof for Spike to follow him.
Spike was hesitant, but obeyed, hopping downstairs and following Sweetie Belle into the area where most of Rarity's dresses were kept.
"Uh, Sweetie Belle? I don't understand how this is going to wake Rarity up."
"Watch . . . and learn." Sweetie Belle told him, carrying a stool over to a cabinet. Placing the stool down, she climbed it and began to rummage through the drawer, eventually pulling out a ridiculously colored sombrero of even more ludicrous proportions. She hopped off the stool and ran towards one of the mannequins, which was wearing a very pretty black night dress.
She placed the sombrero on the mannequin's head.
Spike was just as confused as before. "Uh, Sweetie B-"
"Wait for it . . ."
"I really don't think-"
"Three . . . two . . . one." Sweetie counted off.
Spike was startled to hear a very loud clatter, and a brutal galloping like the march of a ten-thousand pony strong army, and was even more surprised to feel hot, steaming breath on his neck. He turned around to a terrifying sight.
Rarity was standing before him, huffing and puffing, eyes rolling around the room like a malfunctioning cyborg programmed for absolute termination of her target and teeth bared like a shark.
"Fashion sense . . . tingling . . ." Rarity rasped. "Where . . . is the emergency?" She noticed the sombrero and before Spike could say anything, bolted over to it, took a stance, breathed in deeply, raised her hoof . . . and then calmly and gently whisked the hat off.
"There." Rarity said, doing a total 180, smiling brightly. "That's better. You two have fun." She haughtily trotted into the other room.
"Works every time." Sweetie Belle whispered to Spike. "Hey, Rarity! Spike came over to see you!"
"Well, isn't that nice of him." Rarity said like she didn't think much of it- something which was absolutely crushing to the young dragon.
He composed himself and soldiered on, however. Rarity had said many a thing before that he found heartbreaking, but it wasn't like she knew about his feelings.
He crossed his arm his over chest and beat it proudly like a bestial ape preparing to challenge others for authority and went into the next room. Rarity was eating a bowl of cereal, having only just been woken for breakfast. (Almost lunch at this time, but semantics, shmantics.)
He was about to deliver a greeting that would cleverly segue into a subtle flirt when the door to the Boutique rang.
"Oh! A customer!" Rarity zoomed out of her chair . . . then zoomed back to eat one more scoop of cereal, before zooming -for real this time- to the door.
Spike snapped his fingers at being denied. "Stupid customer... who do they even think are, anyway, showing up just as I was about to put my moves on Rari-ty!"
He had walked towards the door as he spoke, and his heart practically froze in his chest when he saw who the 'customer' was.
It was Twilight. He had just called Twilight stupid, but that thought was quickly ignored in favor of a new one; namely, that he could see the look in Twilight's eyes as she engaged Rarity in small talk. It was one he recognized, having spent so much of his life with her. Not icy so much as iced over with a thin sheet of alleged 'control'. He knew it meant "I'm calm now, but I'm expecting something that will infuriate me so I'm tensing up prematurely."
"Whatever are you doing here, darling?" Rarity started conversation.
"Oh, I told Spike he could go see you, and decided to check on him."
"Well, I only woke up just now, darling. He's fine. Why do you ask?"
Twilight looked away. It was like Rarity had caught on to her. It wasn't like her to worry . . . well, not this much, about his safety.
"No reason . . . although, has he mentioned anything to you?"
"No. We've hardly talked at all." Rarity rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "Now that I think about, that really must be remedied. He comes all the way out to see me, and I snub him! How rude of me."
Spike was elevated to a point of bliss hearing Rarity's recognize she owed him something. Anything.
"But he hasn't . . . asked you about any strange behaviors I may have exhibited?"
"No." Rarity answered, starting to get really confused now. "Twilight, is there an ulterior motive to this check-in?"
"N-Yes." Twilight answered truthfully, unable to lie. "Have a nice day!" She left, like absolutely nothing about this was strange at all.
"All . . . right then." Rarity drawled, the bizarreness of the conversation she just had preventing her from knowing what to say. She turned away from the door and noticed Spike. "Oh! There you are, Spike. We should talk."
Spike puffed his chest out proudly and smoothly walked into the room, arms taut with ego. "Yes. Yes, we should."
He was startled back into the other room when Twilight suddenly burst through the door.
"I almost forgot!" Twilight exclaimed, stepping in place to show her anxiety. "I needed to ask you something!"
"You already did."
"Something else!" Twilight stopped and took in a deep breath. "I, uh . . ." She scraped a hoof and turned her head.
"You, uh?" Rarity asked.
"I . . . got into a relationship with somepony recently."
Rarity let out an ear-piercing, heart-stopping, blood-curdling, alarm sounding, glass shattering excited "SQUEEEEEEEE!" She started stepping in place herself in excitement. "Oh, darling, I'm so happy for you!" She pinched Twilight's cheeks with her hooves. "Who is he? What is he? Is he tall? Is he attractive? Is it Ace? I'll bet it's Ace, isn't it?"
Twilight blinked. "Why would you think it's Ace?"
"Because Big Macintosh is mine! " Rarity snarled the last word with meaning that made it clear that if Twilight told her Big Macintosh was her beau, she'd ripped the librarian's heart out with her bare hooves.
Silent and unseen, Spike crossed his arms and huffed. He was just a good choice of male as Big Macintosh!
"Right." Twilight said, unconvinced that Rarity had any shot with Applejack's brother for reasons that had nothing to do with Applejack herself. "Well, he's not Ace, and he's not Big Macintosh, but we are in a relationship."
"And?" Rarity begged, stars twinkling in her eyes.
"I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO IN A RELATIONSHIP!"
"Oh." Rarity's excitement dissipated. "Then why do you get into one?"
"Because I thought I did, and I was wrong! I don't! I need your help."
Wow. Spike thought to himself. He could really the defeat in Twilight's voice at the last sentence.
"Well, are you having trouble? Do you think he's cheating on you, or that you're not hot enough?"
Rarity had Twilight's attention a in a vice grip.
"Cheat? I . . . never even thought about that." Twilight put a hoof on her mouth, looking sobered up. Spike nervously tiptoed out of his hiding place.
"Hey, Twilight!" Spike greeted.
"Hey, Spike." Twilight responded, still clearly shell-shocked by the idea of cheating. "Are . . . you . . . okay?" She made sure to ask in her daze, remembering to keep up appearances.
Spike, however thought she needed asking that more than him. "Are you okay?"
"I'm . . . not sure." Twilight answered uncertainly, turning back to the door. "Have fun with Rarity . . . "
As Twilight began walking from the Boutique, Rarity and Spike exchanged worried glances.
"Uh . . . hey!" Spike yelled, walking towards the door and able to catch Twilight before she was out eyesight. "You sure you don't want me to come home with you?"
"No. I wouldn't want to interrupt your time with Rarity." Twilight said.
Rarity walked over and put her hoof on the door, she and Spike sharing another glance before looking back to Twilight. With one last uncertain look, Rarity closed the door.
Spike walked over the window to keep an eye on his employer, who had her head tilted up to the sky in deep thought.
"She wouldn't do that to me, would she?" He heard Twilight wonder through the window.
Twilight suddenly shook her head. "No, no she wouldn't. She wouldn't cheat on me, but she might break up with me if we let that happen."
But the next thing he heard . . . Spike found absolutely terrifying, even without any context or indication (at least, a sufficient indication to him) to know what she was even talking about. It was simply from her tone, and the angry, determined way she stomped off into the distance towards the library.
"I'm going to make sure it doesn't happen."
Author's Note
Twilight's crazy. Have you noticed?
By Darkryt Orbinautz
His Vector Grey
Chapter 3
Promises
Spike watched as Twilight's purple, pink-striped tail began to fade from his vision, worry gnawing at his scales. What was going on? Was she okay? Was she going to have a breakdown, or a meltdown, or . . . something!?
"Spike?" Rarity said airily, calling for his attention.
Spike, ever the easily distracted dragon, immediately forgot about worrying for Twilight's mental health and swerved around to face Rarity. "Yes?"
"Could you play with Sweetie Belle for awhile?" Rarity said. Had Spike been better at interpreting tone, he would've been able to tell Rarity just wanted a distraction to Sweetie Belle so her younger, rambunctious, messier sister wouldn't try to plead to help with her dresses. But Spike wasn't, so he missed it. Even with that, though, the sight of Twilight reappeared in his eyes.
"I don't know . . . " Spike muttered, looking down. "I'm kinda worried about Twilight . . . she's acting kinda weird."
"I'll look into it." Rarity assured him, though it was clear she was just trying to make Spike focus on her problem, not Twilight's. "But please? She's ever so mes-, er, full of energy!"
"Well . . . "
Rarity smiled kindly and fluttered her eyelashes. Seduced by Rarity's gesture, Spike blindly agreed to whatever task it was that had been set before him.
"Okay! . . . What is you need me to do again?" Spike dazedly asked, having forgotten it already.
"Play with Sweetie Belle." Rarity pointed to the other room where the mannequin Sweetie Belle had place a sombrero on to wake Rarity up.
All right. Play with Sweetie Belle.
How hard could that be?
Spike waddled his way into the next room while Rarity went the opposite direction into her work area to sew and stitch her tasteful dresses. Sweetie Belle was playing with a ball idly, pushing it into the dresser with enough force to make it roll back towards her. The little filly sighed when the ball returned to her lap. She was clearly dreaming of playing with her other friends, excitable fillies just like her.
"Hey, Sweetie Belle!" Spike greeted, walking through the door with what he thought was bravado and masculinity, but Sweetie Belle just thought he looked silly.
"Hey, Spike." Sweetie Belle greeted, bored.
"Rarity asked me to play with you?" Spike informed her, subtly asking for Sweetie Belle's own permission to do so.
Sweetie Belle stared with a spacey look in her eyes, like nothing made sense to her. Just like before, but exaggerated. She had never played with Spike before . . . so it would certainly be something new.
"Uh . . . "
"Okay!" Sweetie Belle squealed in her squeaky voice that alternated between adorable and grating. She rolled the ball towards Spike.
Spike stopped and stared at it. He, personally, thought himself too 'mature' to do something as a childish as rolling a ball back and forth between two laps. But he relented, plopping down on his tail and pushing the ball back towards Sweetie Belle.
They pushed it back and forth, as the game was meant to be played.
After some time passed and a few strokes of Rarity's sewing machine came and went through the air, Spike got an idea.
Twilight had asked Rarity if Spike had asked about anything she and Pinkie were doing . . . but would she think to ask Sweetie Belle, if Spike asked her instead?
Probably not.
Hopefully not, or he was about to get himself in a lot of trouble.
"Hey . . . Sweetie Belle?" Spike asked as he pushed the ball back towards her.
"Yeah?"
"What do you know about . . . I mean, what do you think it means when a pony licks another on the back of their neck?"
Sweetie Belle stared, then cleared her throat and gave Spike a flirty, half-lidded expression. "I know exactly what it means."
"You do!?" Spike and Rarity exclaimed at the same time. Rarity had come along to relieve Spike of his duties at this exact moment, so the thought her little sister knew what that meant was- was heart-stopping! And that confident look she was giving Spike!
"Yup." Sweetie Belle said with a slow nod. "It means . . ."
"What?" Rarity interjected, mortified at the idea of her sister knowing about such things.
"Somepony let Scootaloo shake the whipped cream again." Sweetie Belle explained, making an oblique reference to one of the Cutie Mark Crusaders' many, many, many . . . many failures to obtain their Cutie Marks. Presumably involving Scootaloo shaking a can of whipped cream too hard and causing it to explode.
Rarity breathed a sigh of relief and wiped her brow. "Whew! For a second there, I thought . . .well, never mind that now. Spike, I've finished my work . . . for now. You may leave." Rarity turned around to give Spike a clear exit.
Spike didn't catch what Rarity was saying, too focused on Sweetie Belle's rather lacking answer. Somehow, even if he hadn't caught Twilight and Pinkie red-hooved in the act, he got the feeling whatever was going on didn't involve whipped cream.
The door chime rang. Rarity squealed in surprised and zoomed over to greet who it had been. Sweetie Belle rose up from the floor and trotted towards the doorway to peek. Spike ignored her...but then he thought he heard a familiar voice, so he turned around and joined her in eavesdropping.
Pinkie Pie had come over. She looked antsy, anxious, and uncertain about something.
"Whatever can I do for you, darling?" Rarity asked, rolling her 'R's.
"Well . . . " Pinkie scraped her hoof around in circles. It was so odd, seeing bright, cheery Pinkie Pie nervous about something.
"What is it, darling?" Rarity asked, lowering her head to show her concern.
"Rarity, do you know anything about . . . being in a relationship?"
Rarity squealed. "Ooh! Well, isn't that sweet! Pinkie Pie wants to know about being in a relationship! Isn't romance just in the air today!?" Rarity let out an extremely high-pitched giggle, elated that so many of her friends were finding romance so soon in such quick succession. First Twilight Sparkle, then Pinkie Pie . . . maybe she would find her own colt on top of it all!
Hey, wait a minute . . .
" . . . N-no, that would be ridiculous." Rarity muttered to herself, trying to shake the absurd thought from her head.
"What?" Pinkie asked.
"Well, Twilight came in earlier today asking for relationship advice, and then you did . . . and for a second there, I thought maybe you and Twilight had started a relationship! Hahaa!"
Pinkie, without missing a beat, and showing absolutely no sigh that phrase made her in any way uncomfortable, immediately burst out laughing.
Following Twilight's example of absolute control, of course.
"Oh, hahahhaha HA! Me-and me and Twilight!? Twilight and I? Together!? Geez, Rarity, making ponies laugh is supposed to be MY job! Hahahaha!"
Spike stifled a chortle. Pff-ah! A relationship between Twilight and Pinkie! How would that even work!? Could two mares even be in love in with each other? He had never heard of such a silly thing!
The two shared a good, long, hearty healthy laugh before the awkward tension Pinkie had brought in returned.
"So . . . what is it you need to know, Pinkie, darling?"
"What do I do? " Pinkie whined.
Rarity raised an eyebrow, Pinkie's question being one of the vaguest questions she'd heard in recent memory. "Can you . . . specify?"
"Well . . . " Pinkie tapped her hoof to her chin nervously.
"What are you having problems with? . . . Gifts for you anniversary? Something romantic to do?"
Rarity gasped quite audibly, putting a hoof to her mouth in shock.
"Or even . . . trouble in there?" Rarity jerked her head upwards towards . . . her bedroom.
Pinkie stared. "Why would me and-" Pinkie stopped abruptly, like trying to cut herself off from a certain word -or name- before she said it. "My . . . coltfriend be having trouble in your bedroom?"
"Not in my bedroom, in-oh never mind." Rarity hung head, seeing Pinkie didn't understand what she meant. Spike didn't either.
Rarity started to explain the basics. Not because she underestimated Pinkie's ability, but because she wanted to paint a picture.
"Well, normally, when two ponies get into a relationship, it's because they like each other. Do you and your coltfriend like each other?"
Pinkie paused, lost in thought as to how to reply to that inquiry.
"Well . . . what if you're not in a relationship because you like each other? What if you're just in a relationship to keep the other pony happy?"
"But wouldn't you have to like each other before you wanted the other pony to be happy?"
"Uh, yeah, but . . . what if you don't like like them, but you like them, and you don't want them to be sad? . . . What if you just want to keep them from crying?"
Rarity stayed a silent, taking in the sincerity of Pinkie's question. The vulnerably she was presenting. The uncertainty she was making absolutely certain to Rarity right now.
"Then . . . " Rarity said sincerely as she possibly could. "I think you're in a relationship for the wrong reason."
Spike could see the hurt in Pinkie's eyes from this answer. Well, it wasn't so much hurt as . . . what was that? Confusion? Loss? Well, yes, actually, loss, but not...loss. In fact, it wasn't 'loss' at all. It was being lost . As in, her quivering sky-blue eyes showed clearly that she was lost, without any guidance in this mysterious relationship of hers.
"Okay . . . thanks for your help, I guess." Pinkie muttered, turning towards the door and starting to walk towards it with her head unusually down. For Rarity, it was saddening to see her normally cheerful friend so . . . so down in the dumps.
Just as Pinkie was about to exit the door, the door swung open, and nose came into sudden contact with Twilight's nose. Both ponies blushed profusely, though Spike noticed that Pinkie's blush was quite a few shades deeper than Twilight's.
Twilight dipped her head down and took in a big whiff of Pinkie's chest fur like she was smelling a exotic flower.
"Ahh . . . you even smell sweet." Twilight whispered sweetly, giving a look of questionable intent at Pinkie in the process. Then she noticed Rarity. She walked briskly around Pinkie, shoving the pink party pony aside with her tail, before approaching their other friend.
"Hey, Rarity!"
"Hello, Twilight." Rarity greeted. "Here to pick up Spike?"
Spike clenched his fist and shook it. He just got here! He didn't want be taken away from Rarity yet.
"No." Twilight answered. "Just to let you know I was going to be out for awhile, so that you might have to take Spike to the library after dark."
"All righty then! . . . Might I inquire as to what's so important that you're going to be out after dark?"
"It's a surprise." Twilight whispered into Rarity's ear, glancing over her shoulder at Pinkie Pie. "Have a nice day!"
"You two, dears!" Rarity waved as the two ponies walked off. Rarity shook her head.
"Some days, I wonder what's up with those two."
Yeah. Spike agreed in his head. I've been wondering what's up with those two myself...
Sweetie Belle turned her head. "You're breathing on my neck."
"Oh! Sorry." Spike threw his hands up and backed away from her.
"Mmm." Sweetie Belle gave Spike a glare, then walked off to another room.
"Spike?" Rarity asked sweetly, walking towards him. "Did you hear the last part of that?"
"The part about being out late? Yeah. What about it?"
"You can stay here after dark, but don't be afraid to ask me to accompany you home." Rarity told him before walking up the stairs. "I think I'd like to take a nap..." Rarity murmured.
Spike felt lighter than air. There was only a one word to two word difference between Rarity's offer and a request to walk him home – something ponies with hidden affections always do to the target of their affection. Of course, Rarity wasn't thinking anything like that. Rarity was just making sure little Spike knew he could ask for Rarity as a chaperone. But let him have his delusions, eh?
Spike turned and went back into the room where Sweetie Belle and him had been playing, bracing his claw against his chest, thinking a highly fantasized version of events that would result in him sweeping Rarity completely off her hooves.
Spike stood in the room, three times as tall and muscular as he actually was. He was lying on his back, lifting a bar that had Rarity's mannequins on each end, serving as a weight.
Rarity came into the room to gush and admire over him. "Oh, Spike! Those mannequins are so big and heavy! However do you lift them easily?"
Spike chuckled and threw his mannequin-bar off to the other side of the room. He got up, breathed on his knuckle, and rubbed it against his chest, making his chest scales shine. "Well, Rarity, when you're as perfect a dragon as I am, it's more challenging to resist the temptation to lift them and show off then the actual lifting is."
Rarity sighed and swooned. "Oh, Spike! Sometimes I wish we could be together, but Twilight would never approve..."
Before Spike could tell her that he could talk to Twilight and needle her into agreeing to the idea, Rarity got up and left the room.
Spike let his arms fall limp and sighed. "Oh well. Out love is undeniable! We'll be together one day." Taking solace in the knowledge his and Rarity's getting together was inevitable, he resumed lifting the weight, grunting as he lifted even though he hadn't been before. The grunting was more to show off and sound flashy than to release stress.
"Spike!" Sweetie Belle exclaimed, bursting into the room. "Scootaloo and Apple Bloom accidentally brought a Manticore into town!"
Spike dropped his weight, took in a deep breath, and clapped his claws together.
"No problem." Spike whirled around and pointed dramatically. "Take me to him!"
"I don't think that will be a problem." Sweetie Belle said. Spike followed her to the Boutique's door, and she opened it. Spike could see the Manticore rampaging, knocking aside apple carts with its massive paws.
The Manticore flexed its huge bat wings and roared, apparently quite infuriated at whatever the other two Cutie Mark Crusaders did to bring it here.
Scootaloo and Apple Bloom ran into the Boutique, screaming for their lives. Spike remained calm.
"I guess you won't need me to take you to it after all!" Sweetie suddenly exclaimed, pointing at the door.
Spike peered out and saw the Manticore was charging straight towards the Boutique, knowing Applbe Bloom and Scootaloo had gone inside.
Bravely, Spike used his TREMENDOUS STRENGTH (Trademarked by Spike himself, even though he couldn't have trademark such a stock phrase) to push away Sweetie Belle out of the creature's way.
The Manticore charged straight the Boutique's door, using his blunt, furry head to smash right through the wall, sending plaster flying in all directions. Spike grabbed onto its mane the way a matador grabbed a bull's horn.
Spike grumbled. He wished he brought along his sword today. It would've made this battle take only a moment. The way he liked his battles to take. However, he had not, so this was going to a little longer.
As he held onto the Manticore's mane to keep himself where he wanted to be, he had to take in a whiff after whiff of its horrific breath, and found himself staring at its elongated, pointed fangs longer than he cared to see them.
The Manticore began shaking his head, trying to shake Spike off himself. It was actually quite successful at that, sending Spike into one of Rarity's many dressers, smashing the woodwork. Spike rubbed his head sorely while Sweetie Belle gasped at the Manticore getting a good hit on Spike.
Spike got to his feet and growled at the Manticore, raising his fists.
The Manticore glared, disbelieving that he would actually be challenged.
Spike smirked arrogantly and gestured his claws for the Manticore to come at him.
The Manticore took his taunt and charged, fangs bared. Spike sidestepped him, making the lion-beast hit his head against the shattered drawer. The beast roared in pain, then turned around to face Spike again.
They stared each other down. The Manticore turned and began to circle around the room, trying to intimidate him.
Ha! He was Spike! He was un-intimidate-ble! Never mind that wasn't an actual word!
The Manticore, seeing Spike undaunted from his tactic, narrowed his eyes at him.
Spike reached over and picked up a mannequin, waving it like a club, ready to engage the Manticore in a long grueling match to decide life and death.
All three Cutie Mark Crusaders watched with bated breath.
The lion roared and charged at him again, but he shook the mannequin and smacked it across the face. The Manticore stumbled, but attempted to swipe at him with its claw blindly. Spike ducked it and smashed the mannequin against its leg, making it howl in pain. The Manticore turned around and attempted to lash at Spike with its stinger, but Spike raised the mannequin as a shield, and the stinger pierced it instead, injecting its poison into the polymer, where it was useless on the non-living material.
Spike jerked the mannequin from the stinger, then jumped into the air and began wildly banging the mannequin into the Manticore's face. It raised its paws to shield itself, and muttered something that almost sounded like a pony language, but Spike didn't care much for what it had to say.
Eventually, he started beating it back towards the door, hitting it with the mannequin before it finally literally turned tail and fled back out the hole it made, back to the forest from whence it came.
Huzzah! He had done it! He had beaten back the beast! Surely he would be celebrated by the townsfolk!
He turned around, expecting the Cutie Mark Crusaders to lift him up, cheering his name, and Rarity to leap onto him and start showering him in kisses...
But instead, what he got was an exclamation of shock.
"Spike, what in the wide-wide world of Equestria are you doing!?"
And with that, Spike was snapped back to reality, much to his dismay. Dismay turned to horror and guilt, however, when he saw Rarity kneeling over a knocked-down Sweetie Belle, who had a freakin' shiny shiner.
"O-oh, Rarity!" Spike stammered, forgetting to question what or why or how this happened in favor ensuring he stayed in Rarity's good graces. "I'm so sorry! I didn't realize..."
"Hush!" Rarity snapped at him coldly. "Come, Sweetie Belle...let's get you some ice."
Spike stood there, knees buckling, brain wracked as he wonder what happened. He raised his hand to see it a solid ruler in it. Oh... he must have picked up the ruler while in his daydream and smacked Sweetie Belle with it while in his dream. That would explain when the Manticore started to speak a pony language...
Spike could hear the hum of Rarity's freezer as she opened it, and the squish as she pressed a bag of ice to her little sister's eye.
"There, Sweetie . . . now hold that up to your eye." Rarity instructed.
Rarity came back into the room to an apologetic Spike, but she would have none of it.
"Rarity, I'm so sorry! I got up caught in a fantasy I was having . . . I didn't mean to, I promise!"
Rarity whinnied dismissively. "First of all, you need to apologize to Sweetie Belle, not I. However, I very much doubt Sweetie will let you near her at the moment . . . assuming I would, even!"
Spike raised his claw, but Rarity continued on her tirade.
"And you can rest assured, I will be telling Twilight Sparkle about this."
Spike's jaw dropped. If Rarity told Twilight about this, Twilight would probably never let him come over to the Boutique again! "No!" Spike put his claws together in pleading. "Please don't!"
Rarity closed her eyes as Sweetie Belle weakly walked into the room, unable to walk very well with one of her legs occupied with pressing the ice against her eye. Spike was blindsided by the realization Sweetie Belle would probably never want to see him again either. They had never interacted as much they had today, and to have that interaction end on this bruised note . . .
"I'm sorry, Spike, but you've forced my hoof." Rarity said, bringing her sister close. "And I do believe it's time for you to go home now."
As Spike put the ruler down, hanging his head in shame, it took a moment for the emotional impact of the realization Rarity hadn't added her usual "Darling" verbal tick to the end of her sentence...most likely intentional on her part.
As he walked across Ponyville, clawing at his eyes in shame, he started thinking about horrible this was going to get for him. All the consequences that were going to result for this. Twilight would probably ground him for a week, if not a month. All of Twilight's friends would probably not talk to him for weeks. Sweetie Belle would tell her fellow Crusaders, and then they would tell the other fillies at school, who would tell their friends, and Miss Cheerilee would never let him anywhere near one hundred yards of the school building.
Some ponies waved at him as he walked, but he didn't wave back at them.
He got to the library, and Owloyicous woke from his easily disturbed sleep, immediately noticing the dour mood his dragon roommate was in.
"Hoo." The owl hooted as Spike walked past him.
"Hoo yourself." Spike muttered. "I'm going to my basket."
Spike meant that as a determent to the owl for further conversation, but instead, it only spurred the owl into action. Owloyicous spread his wings and flew off his perch, flapping himself up the stairs and into Twilight's and Spike's shared room, just narrowly avoiding getting the door slammed on him.
"Hoo." Owloyicous hooted again as he took up residence on his other perch in the bedroom.
Spike glared at him and grumbled something under his breath before hopping into his basket and pulling his covers over himself.
"Hoo." Owloyicous repeated.
Spike bolted upright, fist raised and mouth open to tear into the nocturnal avian, but when he saw the look in Owloyicous's large, yellow eyes . . . they looked worried, and curious. Concerned, as well, something Spike, in his (entirely imagined) rivalry with Owloyicous for who was Twilight's favorite never thought he would see from the owl.
"Hoo." Owloyicous flew off his perch and into Spike's lap. He nuzzled his soft feathery head against Spike's stomach. The owl patted the edge of his wing against Spike's chest, almost as if he was asking "Want to talk about it?"
Spike sighed and decided to open up to him. The owl already knew he was upset, so there was no chance he'd be able to convince the bird that it was nothing.
"I hit Rarity's little sister while playing make-believe at the Boutique . . . I gave her a black eye, and now Sweetie Belle is going to hate me, Rarity will never want to see me again and Twilight's going to ground me FOR LIFE!" Spike buried his head into his claws in his outburst while Owloyicous nuzzled him.
Spike chuckled, not really feeling better, but appreciating the owl's efforts nonetheless. He scratched behind Owloyicous' ear, which the fluffy bird seemed to like.
Spike sighed and stopped. "Oh, who I am kidding? It's not like telling you about this will make it magically go away."
Owloyicous nodded, as if conceding that was a fair point.
Spike resumed sulking under his covers, waiting for Twilight to get home and for his impending brutal punishment. Left alone to his thoughts, -a very dangerous place to be for an upset pony- he constantly thought of ways this could escalate and escalate and get worse and worse for him, going all the way from being ground for months, to years, to Celestia branding him a traitor to the throne and tossing him in the royal dungeon and throwing away the key.
Twilight wasn't kidding when she said she was going to be out for awhile. It was went from afternoon, to sunset, to twilight before he could hear the door at the library swing open and clicked closed.
Spike sprang out his basket and made a beeline for the foyer, hoping to get to Twilight and try to plead his case before Rarity tattled on him and sweet-talked Twilight into giving him an extra-harsh punishment.
He had made to the bottom of the stairs when he heard the door open again.
Oh no. Spike thought to himself. Please don't let that be Rarity...
He peeked over the corner to see, yup, it was in fact, Rarity. Normally, he'd be elated to see her, but right now, seeing her was like watching a clock count away the minutes to his public execution.
"Hey, Rarity." Twilight greeted, unaware of the horrors Rarity was about to share with her as the bookworm put her bags full of groceries on the table. "What brings you here at this time of night?" Twilight pulled out one of the groceries from her sack to examine it- a carton of eggs.
"Funny you should ask that." Rarity answered. "What brings me here, is Spike."
Twilight seemed baffled at this. "What do you mean?"
Spike covered his eyes, unable to bear the thought of seeing Twilight's expression when Rarity told her what had transpired.
"While at my house today, Spike decided to engage in a little roleplay ." Rarity hissed the last word.
"Okay? I don't see how that's bad . . . a young little dragon like him needs to exercise his imagination."
"Even with that imagination results in Sweetie Belle getting a black eye?"
"What!?"
Spike slapped his claw against the side of his head. How bad was this going to get?
"Yes! He was apparently so caught up in his fantasy he didn't realize he was smacking Sweetie Belle with one of my work instruments!"
"Oh my goodness! I'm so sorry."
Rarity scoffed, waving a hoof. "Oh, please, darling. You're not the one who needs to apologize. Spike, however . . ."
"I'll talk to him." Twilight assured Rarity, putting a hoof on the side of Rarity's neck.
"I do so hope you talk some sense into him." Rarity hissed the word in such a way that made it clear she was using it as an euphemism for punishment.
"I will!" Twilight assured her nervously, scooting her towards the door.
Rarity glared and humphed before slamming the door shut behind her.
Spike expected Twilight to become filled with righteous fury and burst into flame... but instead, her breathing become shallow and she threw herself against the door.
"Oh, Spike . . . please, please , for the love of Celestia, tell me you don't have what I used to have with Pinkie." Twilight murmured under her breath, putting her fore hooves together in prayer.
What, the tongue on the neck thing? . . . No, no, that was in the present, so she had it with Pinkie. Whatever she was talking about was something she used to have with Pinkie . . . not that he knew what that could possibly be either! How was he supposed to tell her if he had it or not if he didn't know what it was!?
Twilight cleared her throat and took in a deep breath. "Sp-i-i-i-ike!" She shouted, unawares her faithful assistant had been eavesdropping all along. "Could you come down here?"
Spike nervously stepped to answer her call. He was expecting her to be mad, to be furious and fuming, but instead...she looked worried and distraught.
"Y-yeah?" Spike stuttered, almost suspicious that her worry was a front so she could 'lead in' to her anger.
"Are you okay?"
What? That was out of nowhere. Sweetie Belle had gotten a black eye, not him.
"Yeeeah?" Spike drawled, not sure he liked where this was going. Granted, he didn't like where he expected this to go, but . . .
"Are you sure?" Twilight asked, starting to pace around in a circle around him. "Are you sure you haven't had any...any strange dreams lately?"
"Nnno." Spike answered, raising an eyebrow. "I haven't . . . why?"
"I'm just worried about you. "
Unbeknownst to Spike, Twilight was in fact fretting over a slight problem she had that she had only recently overcome . . . however, while the problem Spike appeared to be having was similar enough for her to sympathize with him for not realizing what he was doing, it was different enough that she had no idea what to do about it.
"I don't want you role-playing anymore for awhile, okay?" Twilight pointed her hoof at him.
"Okay? . . . yeah, yeah, okay!" Spike nodded eagerly, seeing this was a rather light punishment for what he did. Who would he be to not take it?
"Okay." Twilight went back to the table, sorting through her groceries.
As he watched Twilight pick up and pick out the groceries, he couldn't help but notice a recurring theme amongst them... butter, milk, eggs. . . frosting . . . it was almost like Twilight was planning on baking a cake!
No, no, no! That was silly. Twilight would never do that. She didn't bake! This was what she had been out so long for? The ingredients for a cake? Why not just order one from Sugercube Corner? They would probably make a better cake anyways!
Spike shook his head and turned to walk back to his room. But as he did so, it really dawned on him that he had gotten off lightly. He tried to swallow the guilt and breath easy knowing he wasn't about to have all his rights stripped from him, but he heard a little voice in the back of his head telling him he knew this wasn't right.
So he turned around to Twilight, who was using her magic to pull a baking pan out of the cabinets. Wha...she really was making a cake? Ridiculous! Maybe something else was going on . . .yeah, that was it . . .of course, he couldn't think of whatever that might be that would lead to Twilight gathering the ingredients for a cake. What could she do that he didn't know she could that that would involve cake pans and materials that wasn't actually making a cake?
Never mind that right now . . . "Twilight?"
"Hmm?"
Spike shifted his toes nervously. "Aren'tcha gonna punish me for hurting Sweetie Belle?"
"Why would I do that? It was an unfortunate accident, wasn't it?" She adopted an accusatory tone. ". . . Wasn't it? "
"No, no, yeah, yeah, it was!" Spike quickly assured her, flailing his claws out. "But still . . . I did hurt Sweetie Belle . . ."
Twilight rested her front leg on the table, holding her cheek in her hoof. "You did do that, didn't you?"
"Yeah . . ."
Twilight was unusually silent following that. It didn't normally take her this long to make a decision. She sympathized with him probably more than she should have. And not in a "He did a bad thing so he doesn't deserve sympathy" way, but more in regards to her flip-flopping mental health. Fine one week until Saturday, and then she completely flips out...
"Okay . . ." Twilight muttered, trying to think of something that wasn't too harsh on him while still serving as enough of a punishment to get Rarity off their backs. She raised her hoof. "No . . . no, um . . . no sapphires for a week!"
Aww! Spike loved sapphires. There were amongst his top favorites of the gemstones he ate. Oh well. When he compared against what he thought was going to happen, it was in fact also quite minor. However, at this point, trying to get Twilight to punish him more would just be unnecessary and uneasy on both of them. If it meant not getting publicly decried by everypony who knew him, he could go without sapphires for a few days.
Spike nodded in acceptance of his 'punishment' (such as it was) and turned towards the staircase, crawling up it and into his basket.
However . . . as he tried to drift off to sleep, he could hear clanging and fire roaring and the unmistakable scent of pastries . . . so she really was trying to bake a cake? What was the point in that!?
He supposed he'd have to ask her about it tomorrow.
That night, he had a very strange dream.
He was standing amidst a long line of Rarity's mannequins, but . . . they were al-l-l-i-i-ive!
They were all wearing rather girly, in his opinion, pink armor. Very vividly pink, at that. In fact, everywhere he looked, it was pink. Pink armor, pink spears, pink walls . . . the only things that weren't pink was the wooden floor, the mannequins themselves, and himself.
He found himself also wearing the pink armor. Uggh! How very girly frou-frou of him.
Spike, after all, had never heard the mantra of "Real stallions wear pink."
Looking around, he noticed the mannequins were all rather . . . focused on something. Like the blank, vacant emotionless stare of a Royal Canterlot Guard.
He dropped his own spear when he suddenly heard an extremely loud, deep grumbling like the growl of a huge monster. He shirked up, raising his arms to shield himself and closing his eyes in preparation. It took him a minute to realize nothing was happening. When he opened his eyes, he saw that the mannequins were looking down at him, as if the dropping of his spear had brought disgrace to their good name.
"Heheh . . ." Spike chuckled nervously and reached down to pick the spear back up, but then he heard the grumble again. This time, however, he realized what it was.
It was his stomach. He was hungry. Of course that's what it was! Duh! He facepalmed. How could he not realize that? Didn't he know the sound of his own stomach?
One of the mannequins pointed their hoof forwards, and Spike saw he was pointing at some stairs they were also pink. He looked to the mannequin again, who nodded, encouraging him to go up them. It gestured to it's mouth.
. . . Oh! It was probably trying to tell him there was some food he could get into up there. With that in mind, he carelessly tossed aside his spear and waddled his way up the stairs. The mannequins facepalmed behind him.
The stairs went on for a really long time. He was pretty sure if he hadn't been hungry already, then going up them certainly would've made that happen. He even saw a bird out a window as he climbed up it.
Eventually, after going steps and steps and steps and steps . . . he finally reached the top and came face-to-face with a big pink door. He opened it, to be greeted by another pink room. This one, however, had two marble pillars serving as tiny pedestals in it.
On one was a collection of gems, including emeralds, rubies, and . . . sapphires! On the other was a very tasty-looking chocolate cake that kinda looked more like a pie, but whatever.
He walked towards the pedestal full of gems and licked his lips in anticipation. He had almost reached out and picked one up when he remembered he been grounded from sapphires.
"Oh . . . okay, okay, yeah. Well, I can just . . . pick out the sapphires and just eat the others, right?" He reasoned to himself.
He reached out to the gems, fully meaning to pick the sapphires up and toss them to the floor, but iron bars suddenly appeared from nowhere and encased the pedestal, denying him access.
"Oh." he muttered. Well, he supposed he was just gonna have to do without . . . he turned to leave, but then his stomach grumbled again, and even louder than before.
"Hrrm." He mumbled, knitting his brows as sigh of his confusion of what to do. He turned back, and noticed the pie-cake thing again.
"Well, it's better than nothing." Spike concluded. He went over to it, picked it up off its pedestal, sat down on the floor, setting it in his lap, and began scooping it up in his claws and shoveling it into his mouth.
When he woke up the next morning, Spike didn't really think too much of it. He wasn't exactly a seer, or anypony else who worries about what dreams and their symbolism meant. He did, however, notice that Twilight was few feet in front of him, sitting over her work table, probably gazing over her latest assignment.
But then he noticed the smell in the air. It was . . . the scent of cake!
"Twilight?" Spike asked, rising from his basket.
Twilight turned her head around, and he instantly could tell from the bags under her eyes how much sleep she had gotten last night. Of course, what was more telling; the fact he could tell how much sleep she had, or the fact that he could tell she had actually gotten quite a bit for her standards?
"Good morning, Spike." Twilight said serenely. "I'll bet you're wondering about . . . this." She scooted to the side, allowing Spike to see in full-view a chocolate cake that kinda looked more like a pie with whipped cream.
"Yeah. I am." Spike told her. R-really, Twilight? You couldn't have just gone to Sugercube Corner?
"Well, as you may have gathered, this is a cake."
"Uh, yeah . . . I got that much."
"This is a cake that was made by me."
"Okay?"
"This is a cake that was made by me for . . . my friend. The one I gave that jewel of yours to?"
"Uh-huh . . ." Spike nodded his head, motioning her to go on.
"I put a lot of time into his cake, just for her- I mean them. " Twilight corrected quickly, covering her mouth with her hooves and blushing. "I didn't go to Sugarcube Corner because I want to show them I am willing to put this kind of time and effort into our relationship. Now, the cake's instructions say to let it cool for several hours after it finishes baking. I don't have the time in my schedule to stay here and watch and still complete my errands for today."
Well, that explained that . . . "All right."
Twilight's face suddenly became worried and serious.
"I need you to promise me you won't touch it."
Spike scoffed and raised his hand. "Geez, Twilight! Relax! When have I ever touched something I wasn't supposed to?"
Twilight glared at him. "Do you really want me to answer that? Because I can think of quite a few . . ."
"Okay, okay." Spike said, waving his claws to calm. "I promise I won't touch it."
"Do I have your word you won't lay a finger on it?"
Spike stood up and heroically brought his arms across his chest. "You have my word, that I, Spike the dragon, will not lay a claw on that cake."
Twilight seemed satisfied by this. "Good." She said with a nod, and took off for the door. "If you need me, I'll be out at the market."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can handle things here by myself." Spike said, jumping out of his basket and getting out of the bedroom before Twilight closed the door behind them both.
"I'm counting on you to keep that promise." Twilight said as she walked down the stairs.
"Stop worrying so much!"
"I mean it, Spike!" Twilight shouted before closing the door to the library behind her.
Spike scoffed under his breath again once she had gone. Since when had he ever let her down before?
He looked at the stairway railing, and feeling rambunctious, he jumped on top of them and slid his way down to the foyer level. However, when he reached the end, he got the knob marking the railing right into his stomach, making him grunt and clench his stomach in pain. He fell off the railing to the side, and laid there miserably on the bottommost staircase for awhile.
Eventually, he manged to stop hurting enough to get up and limb his way to a beanbag chair that was in another part of the house. He may not have been seriously injured, but he certainly wasn't going to feel like doing anything physical for a good portion of today.
Reaching over into the drawer that was conveniently next to the beanbag, Spike pulled out a portable gaming system and turned it on. At least he'd be doing something. Seeing his high score from the last time he played it, he resolved to beat it.
He pushed the buttons madly and wildly, trying to make his little 8-bit…thing dodge and roll to avoid the enemy 8-bit things. The clicking sound was absolutely furious as he slogged through to achieve his goal.
He started wondering about the cake Twilight made . . . she had started on it last night, yet it needed to cool now? Shouldn't it have gone bad or something? Oh, maybe it's like one of those old folk recipes that take days to make, but feed a small village. If that was the case, Twilight must have spent a lot of time and effort on it...
Midway through, he suddenly felt uncomfortable. Like somepony was . . .watching him.
Putting his game on pause and setting it down, he raised up and peeked over the back of the beanbag.
Oh. Owloyicous was perched up on a bookshelf, watching with bemusement as Spike played his little game. He seemed less interested in the game itself and more in watching Spike expend effort.
Spike narrowed his reptilian eyes, intensely distrustful of the owl . . . as always.
He felt his tummy rumble. He didn't even realize he had yet to eat breakfast. He got up off his beanbag and went into the kitchen. He started searching for something to eat. However, his search quickly proved fruitless. There were no gems in the pantry, the boxed instant-fix oatmeal was too low to feed him, let alone a grown mare. There were no granola bars in the cabinets, or fruits on the counter, or even a sweet treat in the fridge.
"There's only one thing to do!" Spike declared to himself proudly, pointing a claw skyward. He had to go pick some gems from his 'secret' stash in the bedroom.
"Oh, wait! I almost forgot!" Spike dashed back into the other room to save his game . . . only to see Owloyicous perched on the beanbag, staring at it blankly. The owl turned its head around to look at him, and the look those big yellow eyes were giving was almost . . . mocking.
"Hey, shoo!" Spike said, rushing to defend his game from this blasted avian who just so badly wanted to make his life miserable (right?). "Get away from that!"
Owloyicous took the hint, and took to the air. Spike picked up his game, and saw something incredulous.
The owl had been playing the game. Not only that, but his high score was three times Spike's best so far! Unbelievably!
"I . . . how did you . . ." Spike muttered, breath taken away. Owloyicous just proudly slapped a wing against his chest.
Spike shook his head, and his stomach growled again. He had to get into the bedroom. He ran up the stairs and grabbed the knob to turn it, but...it was locked. Twilight must have locked it on accident as they were exiting the bedroom.
Unless . . . she did it on purpose . . . no, no! She didn't have that little faith in him, did she?
He scratched his chin, wondering what to do. He wasn't exactly the keeper of the keys in the library...
"Ah-ha!" He exclaimed, seeing a loose paper clip on the floor. He picked up and shoved it into the keyhole, trying to get it unlock the tumblers, but he lacked the ingenuity of thieves that made them able to use such tiny things as lock picks. He pulled the paper clip out to see it bent and twisted beyond repair.
"Oh well . . . " Spike tossed it over his shoulder. Maybe he could wait until Twilight came back, and get her help finding something to eat . . .
His stomach growled.
He couldn't wait that long.
He thought of what he could possibly do, then a light bulb went off in his head.
He snapped his fingers at the brilliance of it, then zoomed out from where he was to the library's main entrance.
Now outside, beholden to the grand library tree in all its uncaring, time-proven glory, he rounded around the house over to the other side. He breathed on his claws, rubbed them together, then dub them into the tree bark and began climbing. He was going to get in through the window! Brilliant!
As he dug his claws from one piece of branch to the next, he realized this was going to take awhile...ooh, he was probably going to work up even more of an appetite than he had before!
He was nearly to the top when he saw a robin eying him curiously.
"What are you looking at it, huh!?" Spike screamed at it. "Haven't you ever seen a dragon climbing a treehouse before!?"
The robin, seeing its company was not appreciated around here, wisely made the decision to vamanos.
Spike dug his claws into the bark, and stopped just before the window to savor his victory. He did it. He climbed all the way up the bottom of the treehouse to the top.
Pushing the window open -thankfully, it wasn't locked- he managed to crawl inside and fall to the floor.
"Ha-ha!" He laughed to himself. He dashed over to the drawer and pulled it open, getting ready to gorge himself on his private stash . . .
Only to see all had left were sapphires. Aaah! Curse words! He was so close!
His tummy rumbled again. What could he do? He was hungry, but Twilight would get onto him for eating sapphires when he was grounded from them . . .
He sighed, wondering what to do, when he turned his head around and saw the pie-cake Twilight had made.
Hmm. He had two options here; either go back against his word and have a slice of the cake, or defy Twilight's authority and eat the sapphires.
He weighed which one would make her more upset. Sapphires, or cake? Authority, or word?
Mmm . . . she was something of a control freak at times, so he decided to nick a slice off the cake instead.
Just one. Neither she nor her friend would even notice it was gone.
Using his pointed tail, he carefully cut a thin slice of the cake off and ate it.
"Wow!" Spike muttered after swallowing. "This is . . . really good! I never knew Twilight could bake so well . . . I didn't think she could cook this well, either!"
He felt himself go into a daze . . .
"Oooh... Huh?" Spike woke from his daze to find himself lying on the floor, chocolate smeared all over his face, crumbs falling from his claws, and the empty cake pan resting on his full stomach.
"Oh no! Oh man!" Spike gasped, gripping his cheeks in terror. "What am I gonna do? Twilight is really gonna let me have it for this! No, no . . . she'll understand, won't she? I was hungry, right?"
Spike quickly got up and set the pan back down where it was.
"There." Spike said to himself in denial. "Like nothing even happened. I'll bet she won't even notice it."
Spike looked down the empty pan again.
"Oh, who am I kidding?" Spike mumbled to himself. There was no way Twilight wasn't going to notice that.
Realizing that he couldn't salvage this situation, he made his way to the restroom and washed off as much of the chocolate as he could. Maybe if had access to time travel, he could go back and have enough time to copy Twilight's recipe. But he didn't, so he couldn't.
He was trying to think of what to do when he heard the absolute worst sound in the world.
"Spike! I'm home!"
Oh no. Spike clawed at his face. He rushed out the restroom to the foyer to greet Twilight, who had some grocery sacks on her hindquarters.
"Great to see ya, Twilight, the number one most powerful unicorn in Equestria!" Spike said, giving her a thumbs up.
Twilight raised an eyebrow. "Oookay? Anyways, I got some gems for you today. I figured your stash is probably running low." She levitated out a paper bag full of gems from her sacks and placed into Spike's claws.
"You shouldn't have." Spike said with a smile.
No, really. You shouldn't have. Especially not when you see what I did to the cake.
Twilight levitated the bags off her back and onto the kitchen table. "I'm going to go check on the cake."
"Okay!" Spike lied, giving another thumbs-up.
Twilight glared at his odd behavior. She gave him a suspicious look before proceeding up the stairs. Was she on to him? If she wasn't, she certainly would be soon.
"That's funny . . . why is the door to the bedroom locked?"
Spike closed his eyes, hearing the door lock click open. He had probably locked it in his panic when he came out of the room . . .
He kept waiting for Twilight to let out a high-pitched, horrified scream, and then scream his name with a righteous indignation.
Instead, he heard a soft gentle coo. "Spike? Would you mind coming up here too terribly much?"
Spike gulped, but complied, walking up the staircase to his coming doom. He stood outside the door, where Twilight could see him.
Twilight was staring the pan, and noticed his reluctance to come in. She jerked her head for him to come here. "Come in, Spike." She said softly.
"No thank you." Spike declined.
Twilight gave him an imperious iron look. Spike suddenly found himself moving against his will, and the door slammed behind him. Was she really so mad she was willing to use magic on him like that!?
"Explain this to me." Twilight said, brandishing the empty cake pan where he could see it.
"Well . . ."
"And don't you dare lie to me." Twilight snapped sharply. Was it just his imagination running wild from his fear, or was her coat getting darker, and the shadows in the room getting longer?
Spike gulped, figuring it was probably best to just come clean. "I . . . was hungry, really really hungry, and my stash only had sapphires left in it, so I figured it would probably be better to eat the cake than the sapphires . . . I didn't mean to eat it all! I only wanted one slice, and-"
"Shut up! "
Spike did so. He was getting really worried now. It wasn't like Twilight to be so verbally abusive.
"I don't want to hear your pathetic excuses. Let me put this in perspective for you." Twilight rasped, pacing back and forth in a straight line, her hooves thudding heavily against the wood. Her horn lit up and produced sparks, creating a firework puppet show like the one that this one azure unicorn had when she came into town . . .
There was the cake, a pile of sapphires, Twilight, himself, and a copy of himself with his colors inverted, probably meant to represent Twilight's friend.
"Let's say you ate your sapphires instead." Twilight started, making her puppet Spike eat the sapphires. "I still have the cake. I can still give it to my friend. I add another day of you not being allowed to eat sapphires to compensate. No problem, right?"
Spike remained silent.
"Right , Spike!?"
"Right!" Spike squeaked.
"But you ate the cake."
The cake puppet disappeared.
"What exactly do I do now, hmm? Give my friend your sapphires? Yes? No? . . . What?"
Spike gulped, not knowing what to answer, but also able to tell she'd blow up at him any minute now if he didn't say something. ". . . Awww, come on, Twi! I was stuck between two bad options, and I . . . I choose the wrong one." Spike rubbed the back of his neck nervously.
Twilight turned away from him and looked over the empty pan, contemplating it.
"Aw, come on! It's not the end of the world. You can make another cake, can't you? Your friend will understand, won't she?"
Twilight slowly craned her neck back to him.
"I know my friend will understand." Twilight said as she began to stalk towards him.
"I know I can make another cake." Spike began backing up, but he found himself pressed up against the door.
"I know it's not the end of the world! The cake is not the problem! The problem...is you ."
Spike's jaw dropped. "Me!?"
"Yes, you. You gave me your word, Spike. You promised me you wouldn't touch it. You said one thing and did another. How am I supposed to trust you now, Spike? That cake was special to me!"
"Well . . . one from Sugarcube Corner would be better anyway, right!?"
Oh. Bad move.
Twilight's eye twitched. "Did you hear ANYTHING I said before I left this morning!? Do you just hear 'blah blah blah' when I talk!?"
Spike bit his lip, his heart racing and his chest heaving with heavy breaths as he broke into a sweat.
"You know what the worst part is? The worst part, is I can understand you hitting Sweetie Belle like you did. I know . . . what's like to be so far gone into your fantasy . . ." Twilight's voice started to crack. "You don't even realize reality . . ." She shook her head. "And I can forgive you for that, even if Rarity and Sweetie Belle can't."
Oh, please don't say that, Twilight. Spike thought. Please don't say Rarity can't forgive me.
"But going back on your word like this! Inexcusable, I don't care HOW hungry you were! You should have ate the sapphires! You might have broken the rules, but at least you would've kept your promise! I...I..."
Twilight stammered, then stopped. The pause in her speech was one of the most terrifying things Spike had ever seen.
But even that didn't quite compare to what she said next. He had truly been underestimating how far gone she was until she said-
"I should spank you."
Author's Note
This chapter has a lot more meaning to it if you've read Her Void Pink already.
His Vector Grey
Chapter 4
Kisses
Spike had his back to the door, Twilight's breath heaving from her nose into his. He tried to reached for the doorknob, but it was locked, and in his panic, he couldn't think to move his claw up and unlock it.
Twilight pushed her hoof into his neck, pinning him to the door. Ooow! Was she normally this strong? He struggled and flailed for all the good it would do.
"Stop flailing and take your punishment like a mature dragon! " Twilight snapped at him.
"I'm not a mature dragon!" Spike yelled, half-hoping his admission of such might persuade Twilight to go easier on him.
Twilight gestured her neck to the cake pan. "I know that. Otherwise, we wouldn't be having this problem."
Spike started hyperventilating. He had never been spanked before, and he had only heard vaguely about it, but from what he heard, it was not a pleasant experience. Ironically, it was just then his salvation came- and from his stomach, no less.
He belched out a plume of emerald flames that turned into a misty vapor, which itself turned into a floating scroll, embossed with the royal seal of Canterlot.
Twilight alternated a glare between the scroll and Spike. She took her hoof off Spike's neck and focused on the scroll, using her magic to unfurl it. She mumbled the words on it as she read them.
Spike turned around and began fiddling with the door's lock. Then he felt a painful weight on his tail.
"Where do you think you're going?" Twilight inquired, pressing the weight of her leg onto his tail while at the same time never taking her eyes off the letter.
Spike just stood there, waiting anxiously for Twilight to finish the letter so he could get this over with it. Although, he was starting to think about how the Princess had somehow managed to send a letter just in time to interrupt . . .
"Aaaah!" Twilight swore after she had finished. "That letter wasn't even important! There was nothing in there that couldn't have waited until we finished your punishment!"
Twilight picked Spike up off the ground, his head hanging upside down while she held him by the tail.
Yeah. She definitely wasn't always this strong.
Twilight stared at him for awhile as he bobbed back and forth from his perch.
"Uh . . . Twilight?"
"I'm trying to decide whether I want to use a tool or my bare hoof." Twilight explained. "We don't have a paddle, so . . ."
"We do have wooden spoons!" Spike pointed out, thinking maybe if he helped, Twilight wouldn't hit him as hard.
"No, no .. . those are too . . . too . . ."
Spike waited for a minute as Twilight trailed off into silence.
" . . . Too?"
"Too spoony."
What!? Spike exclaimed in his head. What did that mean, and what weird alien planet did Twilight get that word from? A wooden spoon is too . . . spoony to spank him with? At this point, he was starting to question whether or not he really did anything wrong, and if Twilight was just crazy.
Deciding she probably was, Spike decided not to take this lying down (or whatever position Twilight intended to put him in . . .)
He turned his head around and belched out a fireball on the door, burning a hole through. The unexpected release of fumes startled Twilight into dropping him. Seeing his chance, he jumped through the hole he made in the door and started running down the stairs.
"You're only making this worse on yourself!" Twilight shouted at him through the door. She backed up, then rammed the broken door with her horn, flinging it open.
Spike huffed and puffed as he ran down the stairs. He could Twilight's hoofsteps right behind him. When he got the end of the staircase, he jumped to put more distance between them. Just in time, as well, as Twilight attempted to pounce on him, but missed him and slammed her face into the floor.
His window of opportunity to get away was cut short by Twilight levitating him into the air with her magic. She turned him around so they face each other and stomped towards him. She growled. Spike flailed his limbs until one- his leg- hit her horn, thus disrupting the flow of her magic. She rubbed her horn sorely while he made his escape.
"I'm going to hit you extra hard for that!" Twilight shouted at him, shaking her hoof in fury.
Spike ran like his life depended on it. Of course it kinda did, but not really. While a spank may hurt, it wasn't lethal... unless a medieval mace was used for a paddle or something. Spike didn't think Twilight was that far gone...yet.
Ducking into a broom closet, he slammed the door shut and sat down, instinctively putting his thumb in his mouth and sucking on it despite having out-grown the practice years ago. While uncommon, it wasn't unheard for a pony (or young dragon, in this case) to regress back to abandoned behaviors when deep in fear.
The broom tassels covering his eyes were kinda soft and nice. Perhaps not much, but they were good comfort in his current frame of mind.
Suddenly he heard a high-pitched whining sound. A floating bluish orb phased through the door and regarded him curiously. That was kinda weird. He raised his claw to poke it, and it seemed to recoil his from his touch and draw back on the outside of the closet.
Then he heard the doorknob clatter, and his heart stopped. The door pulled open, and he could see Twilight giving him a raised eyebrow.
"You do realize, with my magic, there's really nowhere in the library you can hide in for long?"
That was a good point . . . Spike raised his claw and swatted the broom that fell over his face, making it smack into Twilight's face. While she attempted to disentangle herself from the cloth, he dashed out and ran past her. He would've feel bad about it in any other circumstance, but this would be the exception.
After removing the broom from her face and attempting to spit out loose hairs from it, Twilight turned towards him and growled, holding the broom in her hooves.
"Get back here!"
Running as fast his little feet could waddle him, Spike ran into the bathroom on the level of the library they were in. Once they were in there, he crawled up the sink and pulled open the mirror, which doubled as a cabinet for assorted supplies, mostly in the realm of antacids and hair or scale treatments.
Spike huffed and puffed, trying to catch his breath while waiting for Twilight to come for him again. His plan was to use the mirror to smack her in the face, hopefully catching her off-guard enough for him to get out of the library as a whole.
"Spike!" He could hear her scream from another room.
The bathroom door was flung brutally open, and there she was, right on cue, still snarling, huffing, and fuming. It was like he wasn't even dealing with Twilight, but some sort of shock trooper infantry sent to mete out his punishment.
"Look, Spike." Twilight said, trying to sound like she was being reasonable, but Spike knew otherwise. "The longer we do this, the more we prolong your punishment. So if you can give up nicely and quietly right now, we can do it and be done with it. Doesn't that sound fair?"
"Uh..." Spike stuttered. Twilight abandoned her facade and stomped forward, growling deeply. Spike jumped out of the cabinet just she lunged forward at him, using his tail to swung the mirror into Twilight's face. He could hear the glass shatter, and felt it tickle at his haunches as the shards went flying. He hit the ground with a hard "Ooof!", and rolled over on to his feet, feeling pretty good about himself, as that went exactly the way he planned it for it to.
"Oh my gosh!" Spike exclaimed, seeing Twilight covered her face with her hooves, little bits of glass sticking out of her sides. "Twilight, are you okay?"
Twilight slowly, and surprisingly calmly, pulled her hooves down to show her face, which also had quarter-inch shards poking at it, and a few open cuts here and there...but she was obviously still furious at him.
"I'm going to apply some medicine, and when I get done, not only I am going to spank you extra hard, but I'm going to spank you twice. " She glanced around the room and levitated some tweezers to herself. As she turned to the remnants of the mirror to pick the shards in her face out, she gave him a polite suggestion. "Why don't you take the time to get a head start before I start chasing you again?"
Spike nodded and took the suggestion straight to heart. Dashing out the room with his every reserve of speed, he blitzed through the hallway so fast he nearly skidded into the staircase. Although he managed to break early enough to avoid that collision, he couldn't relax, as Twilight would soon be chasing him again. He didn't notice Owloyicous perk up at the sound of his feet going so fast across the room.
Spike ran through the next room, hoping to get to the library entrance and bolt out into the Carousel Boutique, where Rarity would forgive him any transgression when she heard his tale of woe about how Twilight was planning to spank him.
He could already hear the sympathy in her voice now . . . "Well, isn't that grand! If you ask me, it's light punishment for what you did to Sweetie Belle!" . . . wait, that wasn't sympathetic in the slightest! Oh, whatever. He would think more about it once he had actually gotten out of the house.
The door was just a few steps ahead now. . . another few steps, just one more burst of speed. Another dash, bolt or blitz and he would be home free.
A fireball of reddish-purple magic whizzed past his head and hit the doorknob dead-on, causing a coat of bluish ice to wash over the doorknob. He looked over his shoulder and to his horror, saw Twilight standing there with her teeth showing, having applied some ointment to her face and picked clean all the glass.
"Trying to run away? I can't believe you. After all the time I spent raising you, educating you, feeding you when you were too young to do it yourself, and you want to run away from home because of one little spanking?"
Spike decided not to correct her on the obvious oxymoron in one 'little spanking'. It was true, that Twilight was essentially his mother...
"Fine." Twilight growled, flailing her legs to show her dismissal of him. "Run away from home. See if I care!"
Spike blinked, wondering if maybe he alienated Twilight so badly with the eating of her pie that she wouldn't have minded him running off, never to be seen by her again.
"Really?"
"No!" Twilight hissed. "You're a baby dragon! Your claws are barely sharp enough to cut paper, and you can barely breath fire! I can't let you run off by yourself!"
Twilight stomped forward, the unnecessary effort she was putting into her every step making the vibrations in the floor turn into an echo which made Spike even more afraid.
"But at the same time, I can't let you go unpunished for eating Pi- my friend's cake."
Twilight reared up before jumping at Spike with all her strength. Spike barely managed to skip to the side and avoid her so he could go running back into the foyer. He heard her scream in frustration as he rushed towards one of the other rooms of the library. He got there in time before she could recover and catch up with him, and he didn't notice Owloyicous fly into the room with him as he slammed the door behind him and locked it. For all the good it would do.
Spike panted and huffed. He was really starting to run out of energy, and needed a break. Twilight, however, seemed like she just keep going on forever until she caught him and bended him over backwards for his punishment.
"Hoo?" Owloyicous hooted, making his presence know.
"Owloyicous!" Spike exclaimed. "Oh, thank Celestia you're here! Twilight's gone crazy!"
"Hoo?"
"Twilight, that's who! I got hungry, and I ate a cake of her's that she made for a very special friend of hers, and now she's trying to spank me!" Spike put his claws together and got down on his knees. "Please! You gotta help me! You just gotta!"
Owloyicous put his wing to his chin in thought. Spike's heart started skipping beats, going miles a minute, thinking that Owloyicous was having to think about whether or not to help him. He had no idea that, in actuality, Owloyicous was thinking about Twilight's very special friend . . .
With a hoof and a flap of his wings, Owloyicous flew out the window, leaving Spike alone.
"Oooh!" Spike groaned, crumbling to the floor in a fetal position. He started sucking on the tip of his tail the way he did when he was just recently hatched. "Great . . . first I hit Sweetie Belle, then Rarity tells on me to Twilight. Then I eat the cake, Twilight's going to spank me, and the owl has ABANDONED ME! Why couldn't I have just ate the sapphires!?"
Spike decided to look on the bright side.
"Well, at least it can't get any worse."
The ground holding Spike up shook like an earthquake had hit the place, and he tensed up. Getting back to his feet, he peered out the keyhole to see Twilight approaching the room, walking in slow, deliberate, forceful steps to really drive home the idea that was the end of the line.
Spike threw himself against the door and used his claws to pull down his eyelids. Perhaps if he kept them closed and didn't say anything, it would be over sooner.
He heard the door squeak open . . . but not the one he was hiding behind, as he could still feel himself pressed against the door.
"Pinkie Pie!?"
Spike got up from his slump and peered through the keyhole again. Twilight was utterly stopped in her army march by the appearance of Pinkie Pie, who at present, was kissing Twilight on the side of the neck. The pink pony looked like a vampire, draining the blood from Twilight, her unwitting victim.
What Spike found most bizarre out of anything, was that Twilight seemed to be enjoying it, her eyes blank and uncaring, her mouth half-open. Sparkles seem to be floating in front of her face like she was hypnotized. There was a pop like a balloon being pierced as Pinkie pulled her lips away.
Twilight sighed, any and all traces of frustration or outrage vanished in their entirety. Twilight nuzzled into Pinkie's chest, and Pinkie ran her hoof along Twilight's locks.
"Pinkie Pie . . . my sweet treat. Not that I'm not happy to see you, but what are you doing here?"
Owloyicous appeared, landing into Pinkie's mane with a sort of 'Pomf!' noise.
"What's this Owloyicous is telling me about you trying to spank Spike?"
Twilight's face contorted wildly, like this was the first she had heard of any spanking. "W-what? Oh . . . oh, now I remember . . . " Twilight put her hooves over her head as everything came back to her. "He . . . broke a promise he made me! He-he needs to be taught a lesson!"
Pinkie raised her eyebrow.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm sure! He ate a cake I was going to give to a-a friend after I specifically told him not to!"
Pinkie adopted a face of utmost and total suspicion, with doubt clearly written into her features. "Would this friend be . . . me?"
Twilight collapsed onto her haunches, the way she did when she was overwhelmed.
"Y-yes." Twilight admitted, her eyes starting to moisten at all the implications she was thinking of.
"So you are sure he needs to be a taught a lesson?"
"Yes!" Twilight snapped, latching onto the first indication she could have been in the right in any way.
"Agreed . . . but are you sure spanking him is the way to do it? Are you sure . . . you're not just angry you made something special for me that you can't give me because of him, and you're taking it out on him?"
"No . . . " Twilight whined, speaking shamefully low in her humiliation.
"I was spanked when I was a foal." Pinkie revealed, putting her hoof against her chest. "I wouldn't wish that on anypony."
"Oh . . . " Twilight's had begun to cry freely by now. "Oh, Pinkie Pie, I'm sorry. This whole time, I was telling Spike he was the problem...but he wasn't. The problem . . . is me."
"Apology accepted!" Pinkie declared happily. " . . . But I think you and I both know I'm not the one you need to apologize to."
"N-no." Twilight admitted, wiping her tears away. "C-could you get him for me? Given what I nearly did, I don't think he'll want to see me right now and I . . . would feel the same." Twilight pointed to the door. "He's in there."
Pinkie smiled and nodded, going over to the door.
Spike pulled back from the door, realizing Pinkie would figure he had been spying if she found him right up against the door.
The door opened, and there was Pinkie. She was smiling kindly. "Hey, Spike."
" . . . Hey." Spike said, struggling to understand the interaction he had just saw between her and Twilight.
"Twilight's calmed down now. She wants to apologize."
"Uh-huh."
Spike nodded slowly at first, and he continued to nod slowly, his mind still hung on what happened before. The way Pinkie's kiss seem to just drain Twilight of all coherent thought.
"Spike?"
"Huh!? Oh, yeah . . ."
Pinkie maneuvered to his side, and wrapped her leg around his shoulders as she guided him towards Twilight. Twilight was looking away, at the walls, the hall, the light bulb on the ceiling...anything but meeting his gaze.
"Spike . . ." Twilight spoke once Pinkie had pushed him close enough to her. "I am so sorry I lost control like that. I just- I just really wanted to give my friend something special, so when I couldn't . . . I just blew up. Can you ever forgive me?"
Spike was much too relaxed that he wasn't going to be spanked to really give any thought to Twilight's plea. After a moment, he got over it and started thinking about what she said. Given that she was his mother, after all, he could easily forgive her for quite a lot of things . . . but he decided to have some fun with it first.
"I don't know . . ." Spike drawled, cupping his chin. "You did scare me pretty badly when you said you were going to spank me."
Twilight's jaw dropped, but she pulled it shut and stomped off with her tail swishing. Pinkie seemed most distraught.
"Ooh, please forgive her, Spike?" Pinkie beseech-ed him. "She didn't mean it!"
"Well..." Spike said haughtily, raising his claw. It was then that Twilight returned, stomped on Spike's foot, making his mouth hinge open like a trash can, and shoved so many sapphires into his mouth that his cheeks had to bulge out to hold them all in.
Spike closed his mouth and attempted to start chewing. He hugged Twilight, who hugged him back. "I forgive you!" Spike yelled, although it was muffled.
"What have I told you about talking with your mouth full?" Twilight snapped at him, though he could tell she meant it in jest.
They all shared a good laugh together. After they finished, Spike lowered himself to the floor to work on trying to swallow the load of sapphires Twilight had force-fed him. It meant a lot for her to choose to feed him sapphires, after all the drama they just went through. While he sat there, happily enjoying himself, Pinkie and Twilight locked eyes.
Pinkie offered her hoof. Twilight bowed and took it like a gentlecolt, gently taking Pinkie by said hoof and steering her towards the kitchen.
"C'mon. Maybe we can make a new cake together, and it'll taste better when we both work on it." Twilight whispered to Pinkie.
Pinkie giggled. "Probably. Besides, I should make sure you didn't put a love potion in it!"
Twilight was incredulous at the notion. "Pinkie Pie, how can you even say that!? You know strong my magic is...if I used a spell on you . . ."
"Yeah . . .if you used a spell on me . . ." Pinkie muttered, looking away.
"I would never do that." Twilight whispered, nuzzling into Pinkie's neck. "Your love is so sweet, and tastes so delicious... I wouldn't want to corrupt the taste like that. Teehee! It-it means too much to me for me to use a spell on you."
Twilight really didn't seem to understand how scared Pinkie was by her causal joking. Pinkie valued her independence a lot more than Twilight seemed to realize. Twilight didn't think too much of it; didn't all their friends know her well enough she wasn't the type to resort to artificial love?
Spike eventually realized he been left alone, and looked down the hallway to see Twilight's tail wrapped around Pinkie's. Pinkie's tail appeared to be hesitating, but eventually wrapped back around Twilight's.
Spike scratched his head in confusion as he continued enjoying his sapphires.
What was going on between those two?
Author's Note
I like the idea of Pinkie being afraid of Twilight using a spell to charm her.
His Vector Grey
Chapter 5
Sharing
Spike continued to enjoy his sapphires, even with the question of what Pinkie and Twilight were doing filling him with unease at the back corners of his mind. After a while, the mass of sapphires in his mouth reduced enough for him to swallow. At first, he was a little disappointed that he couldn't enjoy the taste on his tongue anymore, but that faded with the huge clump of gem shards dropped into his stomach, filling it up almost to the point of bursting.
"Mmm . . . " Spike rubbed his stomach, possibly too full to even bother moving. He briefly entertained the possibility of falling onto his back and going right to sleep for the rest of the day . . . but then he probably would spend the whole night awake. But then he heard light, squeaky giggling. His senses became once again alert, and he tried to get onto his feet . . . but being so full, he fell backwards. He sighed, rolled over, and carried on. He went around the corner, and peered into the kitchen, where Twilight and Pinkie were sitting, and he found they were indeed the source of the giggling.
Spike also found they were carrying on a conversation he was not privy to, but on top of that, they seemed to know what the other was talking about, never finishing a sentence before the other introduced a new element, only for that element to also go unfinished.
"D-do y-you remember the time-?" Twilight asked Pinkie, pounding her hoof against the table to contain her laughter.
"With the-"
"And the-"
"On top of the-"
"And then Applejack-"
"Before Rarity-"
"That was hilarious!"
They shared a healthy bout of laughter- laughter was the best medicine, after all. Especially after almost doing something as damaging to a relationship as a spanking.
Twilight's laughter cut out after a moment, and she took in a deep breath to regain the air she had lost on her giggles. "Hoo! Thanks, Pinkie . . . I needed that." Twilight leaned over to Pinkie's and wrapped her in a hug.
"You're welcome." Pinkie answered, stroking Twilight's mane soothingly. Although Twilight appeared to be quite content with letting Pinkie stroke her, Pinkie appeared to be unnerved by how relaxed Twilight became.
"It's really lucky you came over when you did . . ." Twilight murmured. "If you had been a second later, I might have reached Spike and . . .oh, it's just so awful, Pinkie! If I had spanked him, I don't know if he could ever have forgiven me . . . "
"It's all right." Pinkie assured her, wrapping her front legs around Twilight's body. "I forgave my parents for it, and I'm sure Spike would have, too . . . eventually. Make sure you thank Owloyicous. If it weren't for him, I wouldn't have known."
Spike blinked, confused at this. Owloyicous was his arch-enemy! His rival for Twilight's favor. His competition for work. Why would the owl go get Pinkie to help save Spike from Twilight's misdirected rage?
Twilight drew away from Pinkie, cupped Pinkie's cheek, then leaned in and gave her a smooch on the cheek. Pinkie looked resigned to this, but she showed no resistance. Even when Twilight start moaning, taking in the taste of Pinkie's neck, and began trailing her hooves down Pinkie's chest and back in a way Spike suddenly imagined Rarity doing to him when he saw it. He quite liked the picture his head was forming, of Rarity doing to him as Twilight was doing Pinkie, holding him tightly, kissing his neck with her soft, pale lips . . .
He scratched his chin, starting to wonder how he could make his fantasy into reality, when Twilight noticed him.
"S-Spike!" Twilight stuttered, pulling away from Pinkie – a motion she found extremely painful. "What are you doing there?"
"Uh . . . it's the kitchen?" Spike responded, confused. The kitchen was an open area, wasn't it?
"Go to your room!" Twilight snapped, wrapping her hooves around Pinkie possessively, her tail lashing out and tying Pinkie's hind legs together.
"But-!" Spike tried to protest.
"Leave Pinkie and I alone!"
"But-"
Pinkie rolled her eyes, having had enough of this. She rubbed her hoof against Twilight's chin, causing Twilight's tail to drop off Pinkie's legs like a dead snake as Twilight's eyes turned glassy and glazed.
"You don't have to go to bed, Spike." Pinkie told him sweetly. "Twilight just really wants to be alone with me right now." She turned to Twilight and whispered in her ear enticingly. "Isn't that right, sweetie?"
Twilight's only response was to moan, at first, so enraptured was she by the feeling of Pinkie's hoof on her chin and quiet voice in her ear. "Oooh . . . w-what? Did you ask a question? Alone...yeah. That."
"There," Pinkie said, still speaking enticingly before turning back to Spike and switching her tone from seductive temptress back to sweet old granny. "See, Spike? You're not in trouble, Twilight just wants to spend time with me right now."
Spike scratched his head. "What's going between you two?"
Twilight ignored him, only interested in pressing her head further into Pinkie's chest, pushing herself further into Pinkie Pie herself.
Pinkie's mouth opened, then closed. " . . . Honestly, Spike, I don't know." She tried to hide her uncertainty behind a smile. "Go have some fun."
Spike stayed, still wondering what was happening, before obliging her request and going to another section of the library. Perhaps he'd pick up his game again and try to beat Owloyicous' high score.
"Twilight?" Pinkie asked, a wariness in her voice that would made alarm bells go off in Twilight's head, if her thought processing wasn't reduced to one-track mindedness by Pinkie's touch. "I think I should go spend time with Spike."
"Okay . . ." Twilight droned.
Pinkie grimaced, not liking what she was about to say anymore than Twilight was going to.
"I mean, without you, Twilight."
Twilight had the reaction . . . that Pinkie was expecting, pretty much. "Nooo!" Twilight, sounding like a spoiled child, hugged Pinkie far tighter than necessary. "You're mine! You're mine . . . mine!"
Pinkie tried to comfort her. "Twilight, please. You- you sound like a foal." Pinkie proceeded to demonstrate how, despite all her spaciness, she was able to identify what should and should not have been done in a relationship in ways Twilight couldn't. "Spike needs to get used to having me around the house if we're going to be . . . this close to each other."
Twilight pouted, knowing Pinkie was right, but unable to bear the thought of Pinkie being away from her anymore than the reality of it.
"I'll come back." Pinkie tried to assure her, giving her another stroke through her purple hairs. Pinkie grabbed Twilight's cheeks and lifted her head up, then kissed her on the lips.
"MPH!" Twilight let out a muffled squeal of absolute pleasure. Pinkie made it last for a little while, trying to postpone breaking away so she could think of whether or not a slow pull or quick snap would let Twilight handle being without her. Twilight started trying to return it, causing Pinkie to be unable to decide and just quickly jerk away.
"Uhh!" Twilight moaned at her denial.
"I'll be back." Pinkie told her again, shaking her hips back and forth to wriggle out of Twilight's hold. "Okay?"
"Okay . . ." Twilight muttered, thought she didn't sound okay with it. Pinkie trotted out happily out of the room, calling Spike's name to draw his attention. She wasn't even gone for half a second before Twilight started feeling depressed, holding her head up with her hooves and sighing.
"Spike?" Pinkie yelled with her voice raised ever so softly. "Spike, are you there?"
"Yeah." Spike answered, stubby claws gnashing on the buttons of his game, determined to beat Owloyicous' score and prove he was the superior of the two, by earning a non-material aware in a digital world of no real consequence.
Pinkie rested her front leg against the door frame, admiring and envying Spike's carefree attitude. How she longed that she might join him there, absorbed in pixels and bits of otherwise meaningless data and just forget all the troubles of her world . . . the troubles of trying to love somepony back with all the strength and conviction that somepony had for her.
It wasn't that difficult to explain why Pinkie's and Twilight's affections for each other were so far apart. Pinkie had just some time ago been told of Twilight's crush, while Twilight had been nursing her lust for weeks before that, nurturing it, slowly molding it into the ultimate expression of affection.
Pinkie took her leg off the door and approached the soft recliner Spike was lying on. She grabbed his game and took it from his claw.
"Hey!" Spike protested, upset Pinkie would snatch his toys from him in such a rude manner.
Pinkie held up the game to her face and swept her gaze across the game screen. She chuckled lightly and shook her head, thinking of simpler, earlier games from another time that she used to play when she was younger. She pushed the pause button, and clicked the 'save game' option. She turned the game off and rested on the arm chair.
"Spike, I'd like you to spend some time with me." Pinkie informed him, sparing no bones and mincing no words.
Spike stared. "But . . . I thought Twilight wanted to be alone with you?"
Pinkie's eyelids lowered, and she looked to the door. Her face was so upside down. Spike was very disturbed by it. Pinkie almost seemed . . . mournful, and it was extremely startling to such a happy, perky bouncy pony be so downcast.
"We can't always get what we want." Pinkie said from out of nowhere.
Spike supposed that was true. He wanted Rarity to forgive him for hitting Sweetie Belle, but could he get that? He certainly hoped so. The idea Rarity would never look at him as anything other than a threat to her sister's safety again... that she wouldn't let him help with her many scavenger hunts for diamonds and such.
"Come on." Pinkie said, turning her rear to him and walking towards the door. "Let's play outside, huh? Get some fresh air!"
Spike would rather play his game and figure out how that accursed owl beat his high score so badly, but he supposed he had no choice but to comply. He knew Pinkie could sometimes force an issue without even realizing she was forcing it. Plus, Spike noted to himself as he followed Pinkie through the oaken halls of the library, he had noticed Twilight getting extra defensive of Pinkie recently. If there was something Pinkie wanted, Twilight got it. If there was something making Pinkie sad, Twilight got (rid of) it.
Once outside, Spike took in a deep, deep breath of the crisp, crisp air. He had seriously underestimated how good a breath of fresh air was after the ordeal he went through with Twilight just now. The grass billowed in the wind, swaying side to side in a manner most relaxing to watch.
"Come on!" Pinkie yelped, a bit more cheerful than while they were still inside, gesturing Spike to follow her. "We're gonna play on the swing set!"
Spike liked that idea, but there were a few problems with that. The swing set was over by the school – and by extension, by Sweetie Belle- and they hadn't even told Twilight they were leaving. Going outside and playing around the house was one thing, but going all the way to the school? Twilight would have a fit.
"Uh, Pinkie, I don't think that's such a good idea . . . you know how Twilight gets when things aren't all neat and orderly."
Pinkie's face twitched, like she was trying not to grimaced. She muttered something under her breath that Spike couldn't catch, but he was fairly sure it had something to do with Twilight and her inane mechanisms for (attempting to) control the world around her.
Pinkie raised her hoof, signaling for Spike to wait, then whipped out a rubber . . . thing . . . from . . . somewhere on her body.
Seriously, she's like a pocket. Spike reflected. Or maybe a black hole...a black hole that's pink. A pink hole? I don't know.
Pinkie took in a deep breath, and Spike noticed the little plastic insert on the side of the thing. It was something inflatable, whatever it was. Pinkie put her mouth to let and loose her deep breath, able to completely fill the inflatable device with one breath whereas most ponies would need the use of an air pump to fully inflate it.
The rubber thing popped up, sending out little spikes of balloons in staggered waves before completely popping up and revealing itself to be an . . . inflatable swing set.
Where in the wide-wide world of Equestria that Pinkie get an inflatable swing set? One so complicated that was completely functional, no less, the rubber chains having just enough clearance and space to move back and forth, just like on a real iron swing set.
"You want me to push you?" Pinkie generously offered to Spike, but he declined with a wave of his claw. He hopped up onto one of the swings, using the momentum of his jump to get a good head start on his swinging back and forth. Pinkie smiled, then climbed into the other swing and began swinging herself.
"You've been awfully quiet, Pinkie." Spike commented. How did it take this long for him to notice? Pinkie was usually chatting up a storm of thunder and snow with her chatterbox of a mouth.
"Yeah, I know . . . " Pinkie answered, her pink blur of a coat passing Spike back and forth as they swung back and forth, passing each other as they went by.
Spike wanted to make small talk and get Pinkie's mind off whatever was depressing her, but he couldn't do that very well when his own mind was still on what was going between her and Twilight. He didn't that was the very thing depressing her.
"What's going on between you and Twilight?"
Spike waited for an answer, and it took him a moment to realize the blur of pink that had been his company had disappeared. He stretched his legs and dragged them across the ground to bring himself to a stop, and looked to see Pinkie sitting still on her swing, biting on her lip, and looking everywhere and no where.
"I wish I could tell you, Spike." Pinkie told him, and he could see pain in her eyes. The kind of pain that only comes from seriously straining relationships, that appeared stable on the surface, but in truth, was as fragile as cement held together by water dissoluble glue. "I really do, but I can't."
"Pinkie Promise?"
"Worse."
Spike's mind came to a complete and utter halt. What was worse than a Pinkie Promise!? He had only ever heard stories of the kind of things that Pinkie did to ponies who broke their Pinkie Promise, and they had been terrifying, so what could be worse than that!?
"What could be worse than a Pinkie Promise!?"
"Something my Pinkie Sense can't control, that's what." Pinkie answered starkly.
"Mm." Spike supposed that made sense. When it came to Pinkie Sense and Pinkie Promises, it made sense that Pinkie would have some sort of . . . latent spy network or something, but something her Pinkie Sense couldn't control? Something her Pinkie Sense couldn't . . . sense!?
Spike decided it was best not to dwell, lest he drive him himself insane trying to understand what alien concept was so defiant as to be above or outside the purvey of Pinkie's Sense.
Just then, they heard a banging noise. They looked up to see the shadow of a hoof banging on the upper window of the upper library.
"Oh, for the love of . . . " Pinkie muttered, bringing her hoof over her face. "I'll take care of this. You stay here." Pinkie got off the swing and went into the library. Her tail gave an agitated flick. Spike gnawed on his fingernails, knowing whenever a pony's tail flicked, it meant they were mad.
Twilight lied there on the table, her hoof resting under her chip, propping herself up. She sighed. She rocked her head back and forth. Ever since Twilight had brought her relationship with Pinkie up from 'friend with a crush' to 'dating' she felt so empty without Pinkie around. Like two halves of the same whole. The yin to her yang, the limeade to her lemon candy, the pink to her . . . the pink to her . . . to, her, uh . . .
Pink pink pink pink pink!
"Uh!" Twilight groaned and threw herself against her chair, making fantasies in her head of Pinkie touching her in all sorts of non-intimate ways that would bring feelings like intimacy to her.
She looked over to the window, and heard some odd squeaky sounds coming from. Lik e. . . what was that, a rubber chain or something?
Curious piqued, Twilight got up from her chair and walked towards the window. What she saw she found adorable. Spike and Pinkie were playing on some of inflatable swing set. It was cute to see Spike and Pinkie bonding in such a way. Absolutely precious.
On the other hoof, seeing Pinkie . . . seeing Pinkie made all those feelings she had in her heart jostle around uncomfortably in her stomach.
"Nnn!" Twilight started banging on the window, wanting Her Pinkie to return to her. After a few thumps, Twilight put her hoof to her mouth in horror.
Hold it in, Twilight, hold it in! What's wrong with me? Can't I let two of my friends bond a little without coming between them?
...Come on. Where was it? She was expecting a voice in her head to answer something rude, but insightful and thought-provoking.
Yes, but what you can't let happen is Your Pinkie bond with your assistant.
Wait, wait, hang on...did she- did she just answer herself pretending to be a voice in her own head? Oh, what was wrong with her, indeed! She was coming apart at the seams!
I'm...I'm undergoing Pinkie Withdrawal Syndrome! She realized. She put her hooves over her eyes and started to whine and cry, upset she couldn't bring herself to be away from Pinkie for even so much as a few minutes.
Twilight's eyes widened when she heard hoofsteps. She took one hoof off her vision to see a pink hoof a few feet before, waiting in the doorway. Twilight rolled over onto her stomach to met her love's gaze.
"Pinkie!" Twilight exclaimed. "Oh, Pinkie, I'm so sorry! I was trying to hold myself in, but I couldn't! I just couldn't! I know..." Her voice started to break, and the tears in her eyes kept flowing easily. "I know you and Spike need to get to know each other as family . . . but I-I just . . ."
"What?" Pinkie demanded, angered. Didn't Twilight realize how important it was for Spike to get closer to her if Pinkie and Twilight were going to spend all this time together? "You just what , Twilight?"
"I . . ." Twilight collapsed against the floor, her legs splaying outwards. "I've lusted after you for so long that you being gone is...so intensely tortuous for me . . . I'm sorry . . . I'm sorry . . ."
Pinkie shook her head. It was hard loving a crazy pony. Most ponies would think "Oh, hey, wouldn't being crazy make you love her more?" well . . . in a perfect world, yes, but this wasn't a perfect world, this was the real world, and in the real world, crazy ponies needed advanced, sometimes risky medication and professional therapy.
Twilight insisted Pinkie was all the therapy Twilight needed. While Pinkie often was to make Twilight rest at ease, Pinkie was far from a professional.
Frustrated with Twilight's inability to be apart from her even a measly second, Pinkie scoffed and turned to leave. At the last minute, she hesitated, then turned around and grabbed Twilight's cheeks.
"Here . . . " Pinkie said. "See if this will hold you in for awhile . . . " Pinkie gave her a kiss on the lips, and relaxed slightly. Enough for Twilight to rub her tongue in and around Pinkie's mouth. After a few delicious, delectable slurps, Pinkie pulled away.
"Think you can hold yourself together for a little while, at least?" Pinkie asked Twilight with an eyebrow. Twilight wiped a tear from her eye and weakly nodded. "Good . . ."
Pinkie got up and left. Twilight wiped another few tears from her eyes and got up herself, and wobbled towards the oven of the kitchen.
"Sorry about that." Pinkie apologized to Spike as she kicked the door shut behind her.
"It's cool." Spike assured her, even though he was still curious and completely confused as to what those two mares were doing with each other when he wasn't looking.
Pinkie looked at her inflatable swing set, taking a misty glare at it. She sighed. "I don't feel like swinging anymore."
"Oh . . . okay." He pretended to be all right with this, as Pinkie went and pulled the plug containing all the air in the swing set, but in reality, he was not okay with it at all. What happened to Pinkie? She usually tried to keep the fun going until it was dead (and even then, she refused to quit) but she never stopped it just as it was getting started.
"You want to talk?" Pinkie offered as she stomped over the deflated swing set, bringing it back down to a basic size where it fit back into wherever Pinkie had pulled it out of to begin with.
"Talk?" Spike questioned. When Pinkie talked, it was to talk like there was no tomorrow. Applejack and Fluttershy liked to talk quietly about things. Sometimes Rarity would, too, if she was caught in between jobs for clients and didn't have anything on her agenda. "About?"
"Whatever you like. The weather. Birds. Bees. Birds and bees. Whatever is upsetting you, maybe? Like, something that happened?"
That, Spike could work off of. What had been upsetting him . . . was Rarity.
"Rarity and me had a little scuffle recently . . . " Spike admitted. Pinkie's ears perked up, noticing his words.
"Oh?"
"Yeah . . . I kinda got lost in a fantasy and I . . . gave Sweetie Belle a black eye. I didn't mean to! But . . . neither of them seem to accept that."
"I'm sure they'll let it go in time." Pinkie said in a soothing tone of voice.
"Yeah, sure, why don't I just go make an apology sundae for them both, huh!?" Spike sarcastically exclaimed, waving his claws in the air. He wondered about the sapphires Twilight apologetically fed him, then his mind went back to the sundae. "Wait, that's it! A little while ago, Twilight made me an apology sundae for something she did! All I have to do is make one for Sweetie Belle and Rarity and everything will be all right!"
"I'll help you!" Pinkie declared.
"Oh . . . " Spike knew firsthoof how good Pinkie was with sweets, but he also she tended to get – like everything she did in life- a little crazy with it. He didn't want to make too big a mess in the kitchen. "I don't know, Pinkie . . .Twilight made me one, so I figured it would probably better to ask her for help, don't you think?"
Pinkie smiled mischievously.
There's the Pinkie Pie I know!
"Who do you think Twilight learned it from?" Pinkie said, wiggling her eyebrow.
Of course! Spike slapped himself for not realizing it earlier. Of course it would be Pinkie who taught Twilight how to make an apology sundae. Did he really think Twilight would come up with something like that herself? And they had been spending an inordinate amount of time together lately. If he was to seek help, who better the originator of the idea?
"Yeah! Let's do it!" Spike exclaimed, charging headfirst into the library, eager to earn Rarity's and to a lesser extent Sweetie Belle's, forgiveness.
The partners in crime in the making sped towards the kitchen, where Spike immediately dashed for the freezer and began digging out all the things a good sundae needed. Ice cream, cherries, bananas, syrup, the works, while Pinkie paused and noticed Twilight rummaging on the stove with a selection of pots and pans.
"Twilight, what are you doing?" Pinkie asked.
"I'm getting everything ready for us to bake our cake, silly!" Twilight chided her, turning around and rubbing Pinkie's chin. "Remember? That cake we were talking about that I wanted to give you? The one I tried to punish Spike for ruining? Happened a few hours ago? That one?"
"Oh . . . yeah." Pinkie answered slowly, realization dawning. "About that . . . I was gonna try and help Spike make an apology sundae for Rarity!"
Twilight frowned. "But . . . what about our cake?"
"We'll get our cake." Pinkie assured her, placing hooves on Twilight's withers. "We will. Promise. But right now, Spike needs to be sure Rarity can forgive him, so I'm going to help, okay?"
"Okay . . ." Twilight droned, but once again, she didn't sound okay with this. "I guess I'll put these up . . ." Twilight's horn lit up with magic, and the pots and pans began levitating themselves into their respective places in the cupboards.
"And a few little sapphires will make it complete!" Spike cheered to himself, imagining a light sprinkling of sapphires to add to the sundae to make the ultimate collection of assorted tastes. Why wouldn't Rarity find it delicious? He did! He was distracted from his wondering by the sight of the rustling pots and pans. "Hey, what's going on?"
"Nothing." Twilight lied to him. "Nothing at all."
"All . . . right." Spike muttered, taking a china bowl out to begin mixing together the sundae.
It took several attempts, but after a long while, several retries, and more than a few recommendations by Pinkie, Spike felt like he had a ready apology sundae. Pinkie had thankfully convinced him in time not to include the sapphires.
Twilight was sulking all the while, thinking Spike really was taking Pinkie from her. First, they played outside for a little, and then Pinkie puts off their cake to work on his sundae . . .
Seeing the sundae, Twilight felt a surge of conflicting emotions. Her face contorted weirdly, like she was trying to make two expressions at once. She was happy and proud that Spike would put so much work into it, but on the other hoof, Pinkie and Spike would soon be carrying that sundae to the Boutique, leaving Twilight to clean up the mess left behind. And that was a lot of mess. Ice cream splattered the walls from failed or discarded attempts. Cherries adorned the cabinets, and syrup-covered spoons were strewn about the kitchen sink.
"Are you . . . sure you can handle this by yourself?" Pinkie asked Twilight with care, looking at the mess they made.
"It's fine. It's fine." Twilight told her. "Spike needs to get that thing to Rarity's before it melts. Besides, he deserves a break every now and then."
Spike frowned. He would be happy to get a break, but he hadn't thought about keeping the ice cream cold before they arrive. He thought they could make to the Boutique in time.
"Hey . . . " Pinkie draped a foreleg around Twilight's neck. "How about you come with us, and then we all clean it up together when we get back?"
Twilight blinked, then smiled. "I would like that. Here . . . " Twilight walked to the sundae and picked it up with her magic. "I'll use my magic to keep it from melting!"
So, with Twilight holding the ice cream bowl high in her magic, every so often recasting her spells to ensure it remained frozen, the developing family went to the Carousel Boutique, where they heard Rarity through the door, still talking softly to her sister.
"It'll be all right, Sweetie Belle..."
"Let me go!" Sweetie protested. "My eye feels fine!"
"Oh, sure, it feels fine, but a shiner of that size takes some time to go away! No sister of mine will be seen in public looking this!"
Twilight and Pinkie looked to each other, suddenly not sure if this was such a good idea, really.
Twilight cleared her throat and knocked on the door.
"Coooming!" Rarity answered in a sing song voice. The door opened, and Rarity was surprised and elated to see them, but the light of her smile dimmed considerably when she noticed Spike was was with them. "Girls! Hello! What brings you over . . . and what is he doing here?" Rarity snarled the last few words at Spike.
"Could you, uh, get Sweetie Belle?" Pinkie pleaded.
"Why?" Rarity demanded harshly and accusingly, justifiably suspicious of their motives. "So that brute you call your assistant can hit Sweetie Belle's other eye and give her a matching pair!?"
"He has a gift for you!" Twilight tried to defend him. "Both of you!"
Rarity remained skeptical, her already sharp eyes narrowing into thin slits, but she relented. "Sweetie Belle, could you come to the door, please?"
"Yeah, why? What's . . . up." Sweetie Belle appeared, a sun hat on her face that was lopsided to cover her swollen eye. She tried to give Spike the same accusing leer Rarity was, but with a much rounder, less sharp face, and only one eye to do it with, the effect just wasn't there.
"Here." Twilight said, levitating the bowl of sundae before the two sisters. "Spike made this for both of you."
Rarity and Sweetie Belle looked to each other. With Rarity's blessing, Sweetie Belle nervously took ate a spoonful of the sundae.
She was instantly won over. "Mmmh! This is delicious, Spike!"
Sweetie Belle pulled him into a hug. "I forgive you! You must have put in a lot of work to make this taste this good!"
"Yeah..." Spike chuckled nervously. "Well, Pinkie-" Spike saw Pinkie making a cutting gesture, bringing her hoof across her throat. She didn't want Sweetie Belle to know Pinkie Pie had helped out with it, or Sweetie's forgiveness might not be as easily earned.
Sweetie Belle took the bowl, balancing it on her nose and trotting back inside the boutique.
"Hmph." Rarity huffed and turned her nose away as she watched her sister gallop back inside. She rounded on Spike and pushed a hoof into his nose. "Let's make one thing perfectly clear, Spike; you may have won Sweetie Belle over with a sweet treat, but you will I am not so easily bought!"
"You're not?" Pinkie muttered to Twilight as a joke. They both giggled quietly.
"But...I suppose I can at least...let you inside." Rarity said slowly, as if unsure she really meant that she could do that. "That is, if you behave a like a mature little boy, and stay in the corner . Come along, darlings." She said, as a way of inviting them inside.
They all trotted in, and from the empty door frame, they could see Sweetie Belle really digging it into the sundae, forgetting it was supposed to be for her and her sister. No harm was done, though, as Rarity had no intention of going anywhere near "that brute's" concoction.
Twilight looked at Spike ruefully, not wanting to put him through this, but Rarity was adamant; he could either go in the corner, or he could go outside. Spike slouched and gave in, walking towards the corner and sticking his nose in, his forehead scales brushing up uncomfortably against the wall. It was chafing.
"Oh, and do be sure you won't molt your little lizard scales on my walls, won't you, you brute?" Rarity asked him. Spike's heart had a spasm of pain. His crush, who called everypony 'Darling' was going out of her way to make sure that not only she not call him that, but she called him 'Brute' in place of it.
Twilight saw how deep Rarity's words cut into Spike's scales. He probably didn't even realize himself just how far something like that could cut into him. He probably had no idea the only way he would recover would be if Rarity forgave him, thinking that eventually, he'd outgrow it and just write it off.
"Rarity, can we talk in the other room?" Twilight requested.
"I don't see why not . . . provided, of course-"
"Somepony keeps tabs on Spike, I know." Twilight finished Rarity's sentence for her, getting quite tired of how badly she was treating him. It's not like he gave Sweetie that black eye on purpose. "That's kind of what I want to talk about."
"Hrm." Rarity's eyelids turned suspicious again. "All right . . ."
The three ponies went into the other room, leaving Spike all alone with his thoughts.
Spike sighed. He wished he could take it all back. He wished he never had that fantasy roleplay scenario. If he never had it, he wouldn't have gotten lost in it. If he hadn't gotten lost in it, he wouldn't have hit Sweetie Belle. If he hadn't hit Sweetie Belle, he wouldn't be in the mess he was in right now.
He scrolled his eyes over the blue plaster he was forced to look at, as endless as a gleaming ocean, looking at over and over it again until it made his head spin.
"Are you sure you can't forgive Spike, Rarity?" Twilight's voice carried over from the other, and it was very soft and delicate.
"Oh, yes, I'm sure." Rarity replied venomously. "Tell me, Twilight Sparkle, how would you feel if I hit your little sister and gave her a black eye?"
"I'd probably be mad at you, yeah." Twilight admitted, sounding exasperated. "And maybe I wouldn't trust with them for a little while . . . but making him sit in the corner? Calling him a brute? This is ridiculous!" If he didn't know better, Spike thought he just heard Twilight slam her hoof into a table.
"Let me remind you, Twilight, that while I consider you a dear friend, this is my home, and you will follow my rules while you are in here!"
Pinkie sidestepped in with a distraction before the argument could escalate any further. "Hey, Rarity! What's this?"
"Oh." Spike was relieved to hear Rarity's tone become one of boredom and not rage. "That? Just a little fantasy I have . . . it's a jewelry case. A very nice, very expensive jewelry case that I would like to own, but even for everything I make, I could never afford it and still make ends meet."
"So . . ." Spike heard hooves rustling through magazine paper. He didn't realize it, but having to bear through all of Twilight's reading sessions gave him a limited understanding of the different sounds of different papers, enough to tell a magazine apart from a book. Not like Twilight, who could probably tell how many pages the book was and what it was about just from the sound the page made when turning.
"If Spike got this for you, would you forgive him? You did say you weren't so easily bought with ice cream, and this is much more expensive."
"HA! " Rarity laughed, a sound the purity of which would've made Spike's heart skip a beat, were it not directed at him and what could be his only chance of earning her forgiveness. "Hahahaha! Fine, fine. I'll humor you with a deal, since this will never happen. If Spike gets or gives me this jewelry case, I will forgive him for all recent transgressions dating as far back as the last two months all the way to yesterday. Of course, this will never happen, as Spike couldn't earn enough in a million years to purchase this."
"Oh, don't underestimate him . . ." Twilight said coyly, and for some reason, Spike couldn't help but imagine her wearing a fake mustache like Dick Dastardly, twirling it in anticipation of the success of her next evil scheme.
"Well, if you say so, but I will maintain some healthy disbelief." Rarity said coldly.
Spike couldn't believe it. He just might have an instant out to Rarity's forgiveness of him. He was so overwhelmed at the idea that he stumbled backwards and tripped.
Rarity huffed. "Would one of you please go make sure that wasn't Spike giving Sweetie Belle a matching pair?"
"I'll do it." Pinkie volunteered, and Spike could hear her scuffling as she got up off the table.
"Hey!" Pinkie greeted him when she came into the room. "You okay?"
"Yeah, just . . . surprised." Spike told, scrambling back to his feet to resume his post of looking at the wall. The dull, boring, blue wall.
"Here." Pinkie came up behind him and draped a leg around his shoulders. "I'll help you!"
Spike wondered how Pinkie could 'help' him look at a way, but he supposed she could perhaps have a way to pass the time. Misery loves company, and all that.
"Uh, Rarity? Could I ask you something?" Spike could hear Twilight say to Rarity softly.
"What was it, darling?" Rarity answered, equally quiet, causing Spike to strain his hearing to make sure he caught what they were saying. Whatever it was, it was bound to be something they wanted secret, judging from how quietly they talking.
"It's about my . . . boyfriend." Twilight answered. "I feel like we're taking things too slow."
"Oh, darling!" Rarity chided. "Why didn't you speak up sooner? This is a crime against passion that I cannot ignore! You want my advice, and I assume, since you're asking, you do, I recommend you drive him crazy."
"Drive him crazy?"
"Drive him up a wall! Make him feel head overs hooves for you! Tease until his lust for you begins to consume his every waking thought! I'll make you a new ensemble to help you with. Trust me, I know what a stallion likes."
"I don't doubt that . . ." Twilight muttered, leaving out that the pony she was dating was no stallion.
They all left shortly afterward. Sweetie Belle gave Spike one last thanks for the sundae, while Rarity muttered something about hoping Sweetie Belle would grow up and be 'less gullible than this'. Spike was so enraptured with the thought of getting Rarity that jewelry case he couldn't notice anything else in the world, so Twilight took the opportunity to steal a kiss from Pinkie Pie.
"So, how are we gonna get me enough money to get Rarity that jewelry case she wants?" Spike asked, which made Twilight and Pinkie stop dead in their tracks.
"W-what?" Twilight stammered.
"I heard you talking." Spike admitted. "Rarity said she'd forgive me if I got her that jewelry case . . . must be a really nice case, too . . . so . . . how do we get it?"
Twilight and Pinkie looked at each other.
"Spike, when I said that, I- never mind. How about you just do some jobs around the neighborhood? You know, water some plants . . . mow some lawns." Twilight waved her hoof through the air, trying to indicate she didn't think this out all the way through.
"I'll get right on that!" Spike proudly declared. He dashed through the neighborhood, rushing all the way to the nearest pony with an open stall – it happened to be Daisy, one of the local flower merchants.
"Oh!" Daisy exclaimed in surprise at Spike appearing from out of the blue at her stall. "Hello, Spike. What can I do for you?"
Spike saluted. "I'm looking to do some jobs around the neighborhood so I can hopefully earn enough to buy somepony close to me something really nice!"
"Oh, isn't that sweet!" Daisy cooed, putting her hooves together. "Well, you happen to catch me at a fairly good time. I need to be somewhere on business tomorrow, and I could use somepony to take care of my plants while I'm gone. Think you can do that?"
"With pleasure!" Spike assured her, saluting again.
From this far away, neither of them noticed Twilight's grimace under the forming shadows of the evening.
Turns out, Twilight's grimace was completely justified.
The next day in the afternoon, Spike gave the plants too much water and not enough soil, causing them to wither. He left the stall and sat on the open grass, waiting for Daisy to return, all the while muttering to himself what a great job he did. Spike would've gotten onto Twilight's case for not thinking he could do something by himself if he knew she had been watching him, but Twilight didn't feel like putting it up with that nonsense.
Hiding a bush only a hoof's reach from the stall, Twilight aimed her magic at a billboard and blasted it, knocking it clean off its post. It fell to the ground and smashed into a passing pony. Spike hopped up to observe the resulting scene of chaos and carnage as other ponies scrambled about, trying to make the innocent victim was okay.
"Ooooh..." Twilight groaned. She had been hoping for a distraction, but she didn't realize her little prank would have such a convincing performance. Shaking that thought aside – it was just an accident, and it provided her with the distractions she needed- she strolled up into the stall and used her magic to bring the plants back to life. It was a simply matter, really, as the plants were just flowers. They weren't fantastical complex organisms like some trees in the Everfree Forest. Then, before Spike could turn and noticed, she slipped out the stall and went around.
She trotted up to Spike. "Hey, Spike! How are you?"
"Fine." Spike answered, still watching the chaos Twilight's destruction had wreaked. "Just waiting for Daisy to give me my paycheck."
"Uh-huh, uh-huh..." Twilight nodded, alternating her gaze to look between Spike and the havoc. "Well, uh, I'm going to go see about maybe helping out with all that chaos over there, but before I do that, I need you to send this private letter."
"O...kay." Spike hesitated, taking the letter Twilight produced. He took in a deep breath, then stopped. "You're not gonna go on another kick like you did when Pinkie stayed over with us and have me send private letters constantly, are you?"
"No, no. Hopefully." Twilight answered before galloping over to the scene. "Mister! Mister, are you okay!?"
Spike shrugged and blew his magical fire breath on the letter, sending it away through a twisting nether realm where Princess Celestia would receive it, read it, and respond to it. How she would respond to it, Spike didn't know.
"Ah, there you are!" Spike was pleased to see Daisy returning from her trip. "Did you take good care of my plants?"
"Yes, ma'am!" Spike said with a salute, even though he hadn't, really.
Daisy took a glance over her stall and the potted flowers on it. "Mmm...excellent! Here, have some bits for your troubles."
Daisy reached into her purse and tossed Spike a handful of bits. Spike caught them in his claw and held them tightly. In any other circumstance, he wouldn't have minded the measly fee. It was just a simple...babysitting plant job. But Rarity liked nice things, and nice things tended to be expensive things, so he was gonna need way, way more than this to pay for that case.
With that thought weighing heavily on his mind, Spike proceeded into town in order to find some more neighborhood jobs to do...
"Hey..." Daisy muttered after he had left. "These look even better than when I left them!"
So, Spike went around town, snatching up every opening he could find, doing every job that caught his eye. It often involved him running around from one end of town to the next.
One job he took was helping Applejack and her family feed their stable of pigs. That didn't go too well. The pigs refused all the food he offered them – even after Apple Bloom pointed out he was using the chicken feed and exchanged it for the correct one. But the instant the feed went into Big Macintosh's hoof, the pigs started lapping it up.
He went to Old Man Hayseed's apartment and asked if there was anything he could. Hayseed responded he needed to mow the lawn, but with his bad back... Spike gave his trademark salute and went to work. Unfortunately, Hayseed's diesel lawn mower didn't seem to like Spike anymore than the Apply Family's pigs did, and it ended chasing him around the yard, leaving a very uneven cut around the grass. It was sheared off until it hit dirt level in some areas, then left completely untouched in others. Hayseed eventually ran out and pulled the lawn mower's switch, and he recommend Spike not take up an occupation that required working with machines.
So then, after that, increasingly desperate and running out of places to go, he went to Zecora's house to see if the zebra witch doctor needed any fresh herbs. As it happened, she just ran out of some Honeymalacus or whatever. Spike didn't pay attention to the name, just the description and what he needed to do to get it.
As magical plants have a tendency towards, getting to it was difficult, and picking it out would be even more so. Zecora explained Spike would have to do a complicated dance with otherwise normal leaves stuffed into his mouth while flapping hand fans in his arms. He managed to do all that, but on his way there, he got mauled by a Manticore, which seemed to lost interest in eating him after it had given too many bruises to count on one claw.
And then he went back to Zecora's to find she had found another sample of the Honeymaka-whatever.
And THEN, after ALL THAT, Flutterhshy found him, demanded to know who gave him "all those nasty cuts and bruises", dragged him to her house for "a nice, disinfecting bath" and he was promptly humiliated the whole time by that deranged rabbit Angel of hers. When he finally gave in to temptation and gave that bunny the kick in the posterior region he so righteously deserved, Fluttershy told him to get out. He tried to protest about how the bunny had been mean to him the whole time, but Fluttershy shoved him out the door...while he was still in a towel. He saw Angel waving at him through the window, and unable to contain himself, he punched it with his fists, shattering it, giving the darn rodent a good scare, but also cutting himself.
Tired of it all, ready to drop down dead, Spike retired to the library. It was late. He was humiliated, he was frustrated, and to make it all worse, he hadn't earned zilch in the way of getting Rarity that lovely jewelry case.
Stopping to readjust the towel on him, Spike opened the door and was ready to collapse onto the welcome mat, expecting Twilight would carry his unconscious body up the stairs to his basket, but he was surprised by a hug from behind.
He turned around to see it was Rarity.
"Rarity? Wha-?" Not that he minded, but still . . . the last time she saw him, she was glaring daggers at him.
"Thank you thank you thank you so much, darling!" Rarity gibbered at him, overjoyed at something he didn't know about to the point she couldn't form coherent sentences. "I never expected you would be able to get me that case, but you did better than that! With all those orders from these Canterlot ponies, not only can I afford the case, but my business should boom! I take back everything I said about you being a brute, and I will never underestimate you again!"
Rarity . . . gave him a kiss. On the cheek.
"See you around, darling!"
"Yea-buh...yeah-buh...fi fike it, vut..." Spike stammered, his mind turned into a swirling cesspool of confused emotions at Rarity's kiss. He was entirely too flattered to think about much, but the back of his mind was still going . . .
Wait, how did she get the case? You haven't earned anything yet except a bath and scratches!
Spike turned around and staggered his way inside, where Twilight was amused to see him stumbling so drunkenly.
"What's got you so uplifted, champ?" Twilight jokingly asked him.
"Rarity . . . gave me a kiss!" Spike answered. "Right on the cheek! She says I got her enough clients to get her the case, but I never got her – hey, what are you two doing?"
He hadn't noticed Twilight and Pinkie lying on the couch next to each other when he came in.
"Uhhh . . ." They both stuttered."
Twilight cleared her throat. "I . . . placed those orders for Rarity for you. I . . ." Twilight looked into Pinkie's eyes. "I know what it's like to not be sure sompony you love will forgive you for something." Pinkie's lips quivered. "So I had you send that private letter to the Princess so she could pull some strings and get Rarity that case, telling her it was from you."
"You . . ." Spike blinked. He dropped the towel and put his arms over his chest. "You'd do something like that for me?"
"Obviously, since I did!" Twilight replied cheerily. Then she noticed the state of disarray Spike's body had been left in. "Why don't you limp onto bed? You look terrible."
"I don't feel much better!" Spike answered, before falling backwards onto the floor and collapsing, falling unconscious.
Pinkie and Twilight shook their heads.
"Should we carry him to bed?"
"At some point."
They rubbed their hooves across the others' chins.
"I'm proud of you." Pinkie said, burying her muzzle into Twilight's shoulder. "It's nice that you got past your... 'Pink Fever' and helped somepony else with their romantic problem."
Twilight raised an eyebrow, thinking for a moment of how to process this.
You have to drive him crazy! Rarity's voice echoed in her mind.
"Maybe I could help you with some other problems..." Twilight suggested with a tone of voice to indicate all mannerisms of naughty, inappropriate behavior.
The cue went flying over Pinkie's head, and the pink pony just raised an eyebrow in return. "Huh?"
Author's Note
Wow.
I'm going to be starting college in August, so...yeah, yeah, you've heard this, haven't you? "I'm going to be in school, so I won't have as much time to work on my Fanfiction!" so I really rushed this chapter. Everything after 'her hooves and sighing' was done in a single day from 9 AM to 2 : 35 PM.
I could have gone into more detail about the jobs Spike did (narrating them AS they happen rather than recounting them after the fact) but I wanted to prove I could complete a whole chapter in a day.
His Vector Grey
Chapter 6
Friends and Family
The next morning, everypony woke up and did their usual routines. For some, it was brushing teeth, then doing chores and eating breakfast. For some, it was attending to their passions – watering the plants, practicing some morning stunts, or designing a faaa bulous new dress. For a very select few with a talent for multi-tasking and no shortage of ambition, it was doing all of those things at once.
But Applejack was a simple pony. She didn't have any ambition to rise up to the top of the fashion market, somehow stitching together an evening gown at the same-time she was skiing down a mountain with an avalanche chasing behind her, nipping at her tail with its snowy fury.
Applejack's choice was the first one, brushing her teeth and tying up her mane in her signature ponytail.
"Ah . . . " She sighed into the mirror's reflection once her hair was done up just the way she liked it. "Now that's more like it." She headed out into the orchards, grabbing her hat along the way, and begin the long process of bucking them with her hind legs until they released their delicious apple-scent quarry into the empty baskets waiting below.
Like every morning, she planned to continue this routine until either one of her friends came by and gave her a distraction, or she got all the apples for the day into all the baskets.
Whichever came first.
It was around afternoon, and she only had a few more trees to go, when she caught sight of Spike waddling his way into her orchard. She looked between him and her trees.
"Only a few more to go . . ." Applejack observed. "Eh, 'pose Ah can walk and talk." It would be a derivation of the norm, but sometimes variety was good in life. Applejack waved Spike over. "Howdy, Spike! Come on over, pardner!"
Spike smiled and ran up to her, trying to catch her at such a pace that he could walk alongside her as she continued bucking apples.
"What can Ah do ya fer?" Applejack offered to the small dragon.
"Do you know what's going between Twilight and Pinkie?" Spike asked unabashedly.
Applejack was so confused by his random question that she stopped mid-buck, her hind legs raised into the air in a manner most ridiculous. Rarity would've loved to capture in a picture, and then use it for modeling, Applejack would be sure. "Wut do you mean? Ah haven't noticed anything goin' between Twilight and Pinkie at all."
"They've been spending an awful lot of time together . . ." Spike mumbled.
"Ah'm sorry, Spike, but Ah can't help ya." Applejack apologized, resuming her buck.
"Okay . . ." Spike turned around and wander back to the entrance. "Thanks for trying, I guess . . ."
Applejack pouted. She didn't like seeing Spike so down. "Hey, pardner!"
Spike stopped and turned around, scaly brow raised.
"How about y'all go inside and wait fer me a li'l while, and then after that, Ah'll make y'all a nice fresh glass of cider? How does that sound?" She winked at him, trying to persuade him to come in so she could cheer him up some.
"I'll pass." Spike muttered, before turning back around.
"Mmm . . . " Applejack pursed her lips. A good idea seemed to be forming in her mind to charge up to him and drag him inside, then force him to enjoy some good ol'-fashioned sweet cider, but she thought better of it.
"Mmmm . . . Ah know! This calls for a little round-up of the gang!"
Apple Bloom wobbled, her legs moving so fast as to be a blur of pale olive yellow, trying to balance the tray of apple and orange juice on her nose.
Gathered around the table of the Apply Family house were Rarity, Pinkie, Twilight, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash, while Applejack went around making sure they had everything they would need for company.
"Everpony settled?" Applejack asked as she prepared to take a seat. Everypony nodded. "Good, good . . . Ah guess y'all are wonderin' why Ah called you all over here."
"Mh-hm." Chorused from the table with another round of nodding.
"Well, it's about Spike. He came by earlier, and he was right depressed about sumthun'. Wouldn't even take an offer of cider." Rainbow Dash took particular umbrage to this. "And he said sumthun 'bout Twi and Pinkie hanging out together at lot."
Twilight's eyes went blank for a moment, before blinking.
Everypony else turned to look at Pinkie and Twilight.
"Wha-why are you all looking at us!?" Twilight exclaimed. "Can't you understand sometimes friends like spending time together? Hmph!" Twilight turned her tail and left the table.
From outside the house, they heard a frustrated, piercing scream.
"I'll go . . . talk to her." Pinkie volunteered, getting up off her seat and going after her secret beau.
"Why should you go to talk to her?" Rainbow Dash asked accusingly, flying up into the air. "The problem here is that you two have been spending a lot time together, isn't it!?"
"Well . . . maybe." Pinkie reluctantly answered, almost soft-spoken. "But I did just spend a whole Celebratory Week getting to know her, didn't I? I'll bet I know her better than any of you do!"
Rainbow Dash slammed herself on the table, lowering her wings and standing up as a tall eagle with her eye on finding an opening in Pinkie to exploit, a wound already open that she could pour salt in. Applejack became distraught that Rainbow Dash standing on her family's table with whatever her hooves might have tracked in from the dirt. Applejack was normally fine with dirt, but not in her family's plates.
"R.D, I'd appreciate if y'all would git off the table mah family, y'know, eats at?"
"Oh yeah?" Dash snarled at Pinkie, Applejack's words' worth as much as lint on a carpet rug very badly in need of a thorough dusting off. "Is that a fact?"
"Yeah!" Pinkie answered, stepping up to the challenge and slamming her hoof on the table. "Rainbow Dash, do you know what separates a fact from an opinion?"
"What?" Dash questioned, honestly not sure if she cared.
"Facts . . . can be proven." Pinkie said with a smarty-pants tone reminiscent of a certain librarian, that reeked with the idea she knew something Rainbow Dash did not. "Do you know what's always on her mind all day?"
"Uh . . . pleasing the Princess?" Dash answered.
It's me.
"Do you know that she's currently sick with a special type of magic flu that the only cure for is a party and some laughs? In other words, my specialty?"
"No . . ." Dash answered, turning her head away. "What is it?"
Pink Fever.
"Well, I know what it is, and you don't." Pinkie concluded, pushing Rainbow Dash backwards to the other edge of table, towards the seat Rainbow Dash had abandoned. "So there. That's why I should be the one to talk to her. Hmph!"
Pinkie turned her head up as she scooted her chair out and jumped off. Her nose remained firmly stuck in the air as she walked outside, a reminder to Rainbow Dash of how she lost this fight, and would again if she was so foolish as to try it in the future. Rainbow Dash scooted off the table, back into her seat and crossed her front legs. She huffed.
Pinkie made her way outside, deliberately making sure the door she opened creaked as loudly as was feasible, so that Twilight could hear it and be warned somepony was approaching her. Enough of a warning bell that Twilight could get her act together. Her facade of being in total control of herself.
The irony of it all was not lost on Pinkie, the way Twilight's necessity in making sure her feelings for Pinkie were kept under control . . . had been going on so long that Twilight has gone completely out of control of her control.
Pinkie stepped out the door, and she was able to hear Twilight's sniffling lightly, crying over the idea that everypony had pierced their facade, provoking suspicions that everypony would soon be voicing as they poked and prodded both of them for the truth. Pinkie ran up to Twilight the instant she saw a lavender back.
"Twilight! What's gotten into you!?"
"It's Spike!" Twilight explained. "He knows something's going on, Pinkie Pie! I don't know what to do . . . I might have to go away from you . . . we've been spending too much time together, everypony is starting to suspect something, but oh . . . being away from you is . . . Pinkie!"
"I'm here, I'm here . . ." Pinkie assured her as Twilight fell into her chest, murmuring a vast number of silly and sillier pet names for her poof-maned girlfriend. "It'll be okay."
"No it won't."
"It'll be fine. We just . . . have to play along. Here. Come here." Pinkie cupped Twilight's chin and brought their lips together. Twilight cried a little, imagining that this would the last time they kissed for weeks, if not months. "Feel better?"
"Mm-hm . . . a little." Twilight wiped a tear from her eye and looked up at Pinkie Pie. "But what do we do now?"
Pinkie stroked Twilight's mane, talking with a swan's level of etiquette, comforting Twilight like she was mother, not her lover. "We go back inside. We come with an excuse for why you freaked out like that, and then we help with the conversation. Understand?"
Twilight nodded. "Umm . . . I was actually upset, but, um . . . that freakout was entirely fake . . . you know . . . " Twilight scuffed her hoof. "So we could get out here and talk to each other."
"That's . . ." Pinkie raised an eyebrow. "Impressively manipulative of you, Twilight . . ."
"Yeah, well . . . I had to learn a lot of tricks when I had to keep my crush on you hidden from you." Twilight sheepishly chuckled, trying to laugh it off. She turned and calmly trotted back inside, while Pinkie stayed behind and tried to fathom the depths of how far Twilight was willing to go.
Staging a freak-out like that, so that Pinkie and her could talk alone . . . that required an intimate understanding of how her friends saw her, how her friends understood her . . . an understanding of how Pinkie would react to what Twilight's actions.
Pinkie had s startling realization. If Twilight had that much understanding of Pinkie's reaction to things, and how her friends react to things . . . the calculating, brainy intelligent unicorn could easily manipulate the entire group into doing something without them realizing it.
And if she could do that . . . what couldn't she do?
Pinkie took in a deep breath and put her hooves together, silently muttering a prayer Celestia to that Twilight's morality would keep from using this power to control the group and trick them into doing something amoral, or against the law . . .
Of course, Pinkie didn't think about that, if Twilight were to try to manipulate them into carrying out a heist, the stress of trying to not get caught would wear her out and cause her to breakdown, in turn causing the whole operation to fail.
Pinkie turned and went back inside, retaking her seat next to Twilight at Applejack's table. Applejack was serving Twilight some apple tea, which sounded kinda gross to Pinkie, but Applejack was confident it would "put a lasso on those jittery nerves of yers." Pinkie still declined, though from the sips she was taking, Twilight actually found it quite tasty.
"So, before I lost it, what were we discussing?" Twilight asked, tilting her head as the steam from her cup wiggled through the air.
"Well, Spike's upset." Applejack answered. "Ah don't know wut y'all did, or if he's using ya as a target to blow out some steam on sumthun else that's bothering 'im, but Ah do this; we need tah find some way to cheer up and get 'im better."
"Hmmm . . . " Rang through the room, as everypony put their hooves to their chins and began brainstorming, the cogwheels and gears in their brains turning and grinding, intending to come with something really cheerful. Individually, they all their own unique set of skills, but together, there was nothing they could not accomplish.
The longer it took for anypony to come up with an idea, the more Applejack frowned. Spike looked really downcast, so she wanted to do anything she could to help.
The ceiling fan quietly squeaked, its whirring becoming the most audible thing in the room from the silence. Normally it would be entirely silent, drowned by the talkative voices of enthusiastic mares below. Now, those mares were anything but enthusiastic, quiet in their thinking of Spike and what he would like for a surprise gift. Rainbow Dash had gotten so bored she got off the table, took an apple from of the Family's baskets, and began bouncing on her all four hooves while lying on her back.
"I've got it!" Rarity exclaimed, raising her voice and her hoof to the air. "I'll make him a fabulous suit! I do need some way of repaying him for getting me that fabulous case."
Everypony blinked, except Twilight who shifted her eyes.
"Um . . . no." Applejack said. "Pardon me, Rarity, but Ah just don't think Spike's interested in that sort of thing."
Rarity looked flabbergasted that anypony could 'not' be interested in obtaining her fabulous, groundbreaking clothes designs. Apple Bloom tugged on her older sister's leg and asked if she could be excused. The enlargement of Applejack's eyes made clear her distress that her little sister had been there the whole time with nothing to do while they brainstormed.
"I know what to do!" Pinkie exclaimed proudly. "We'll throw a party!"
Everypony was torn between either showing their enthusiasm for that idea, or being embarrassed it took them this long to come up with it.
"Annnd . . ." Pinkie added, putting her hooves on the table as she prepared to deliver an ultimatum of ultimate mischief making. "We'll do something really special for it."
Everypony oohed, wondering how Pinkie meant to set about and achieve that particular goal.
"We'll throw it at Fluttershy's."
Everypony shared a collective blanching as unanimously as an colony of ants with a single mind.
"What?"
"Um, Pinkie Pie, darling . . ." Rarity said softly, wondering how to be tactful about this. "Spike is a young boy . . . he likes . . . " Rarity circled her hooves through the air. "He likes games, hanging out with friends, big events . . . he'd like a party that's eventful and lively . . . "
"Yeah?" Pinkie nodded, eager for Rarity's input.
"All of which are things that are very . . . loud." Rarity said.
"Uh-huh . . ." Pinkie nodded.
Rarity pursed her lips, contemptuous and trying to hold it in, but she grew tired of how Pinkie was being dense enough she could sink like a stone in a kiddie pool's shallow water.
"FLUTTERSHY DOESN'T LIKE LOUD NOISES!"
"EEEP!" Fluttershy squealed and hid under the table, her pink tail waving to and fro as she ducked under the furniture, proving Rarity's point.
"Oh . . . oh my." Rarity realized what she had done and cleared her throat. She ducked under the table to coax Fluttershy out. "Fluttershy, darling, you can come out . . . I'm so terribly sorry, I didn't mean to yell at Pinkie like that."
Fluttershy nervously crawled out of her hiding space, putting her hooves on the table and looking between Pinkie and Rarity. "No. . . no more yelling?"
"No more yelling." Rarity promised.
"Um . . . loud noises would upset my animals . . ." Fluttershy mumbled. "But I want to help Spike feel better to . . . so, um, I guess I could, um, move my animals away into my chicken house for a little while. Just long enough to have Spike's party and be done with it."
"Then it's settled!" Twilight declared. "We'll move Fluttershy's animals and throw a Spike a great big cheering-up party, with cake and sweets and games and weapons of mass confectionery!" Twilight's tail wiggled from side to side, excited at the prospect.
Applejack raised her eyebrow at Twilight's behavior, but she dismissed it as simply the result of her wanting to see her assistant cheer up.
"All right, y'all! Let's hop to it! Everypony start getting everythang ready!"
"I'll do décor!" Rarity exclaimed, rubbing her hooves anxiously.
"I'll start moving my animals . . ." Fluttershy mumbled.
"I'll organize the preparation." Twilight said calmly.
"I'll . . . well, I don't know what," Pinkie admitted, "but it'll be LOUD and cake-y!"
Applejack turned to the strangely quiet pegasus in the room, the one that was known for being very loud and brash, and not at all quiet. "An'. . . wut are y'all gonna do, Rainbow Dash?"
"Hmm?" Rainbow Dash said, admiring her hoof the way a bipedal species would admire their nails. "Oh, yeah, yeah . . . don't worry, I've got a plan."
"That only makes me worry more . . ." Applejack muttered.
Applejack went out of the house and went back to her orchard, bucking the apple trees for extra surplus of the red fruits. She needed some extra hauls in to give her enough to make some extra apple cider, apple tea, apple juice, and all sorts of other variety of apple-tastic beverages.
"Hiiiii-yeah!" Applejack brazenly charged at one of her trees, swerving around so her hind legs were at the location of her front legs at the last minute and bucking one of the trees with all her might, causing its apples to cascade down in a glorious rain of stemmed crimson orbs.
"Hi, Applejack!" Pinkie said, appearing from thin air behind and startling Applejack so badly she jumped up straight into the now-empty branch of her tree.
"Oh!" Applejack said, looking down as she hugged the branch like a koala bear. "Pinkie Pie! Y'all startled me, eh-heh."
"Oooh . . . sorry." Pinkie apologized. "Just wanted to see how everything was coming along for the party."
"Fine. Just fine. Thank y'all for checkin' up on me." Applejack said, salvaging her pride. The branch she was began to creak, and she flailed to grab out and reach onto adjacent one before the one she was on gave way, but she couldn't reach it in time and fell down to earth with the branch as it snapped under her weight, leaving her as messy pile of oranges limb tangled up in a twisted knot of branch.
"Ah'm okay!"
Pinkie had already walked away to another part of the orchard, so Applejack was reassuring only thin air of her condition.
Pinkie bounced merrily along the orchards until she suddenly bumped into a familiar feeling chest . . .
"Oh!"
"Twilight!"
"Pinkie!"
The two of them immediately began stammering excuses for themselves.
"I, uh, I didn't see you there . . . "
"I was just checking on Applejack's progress. You know, for the party!"
"Oh. Really? I was about to do that."
"Well, I just did, so I guess you don't have to!"
"All right . . . here. Let me- get out of your way."
"If you'll just step to the side a little, I'll-"
The two of them began an awkward dance, stepping to the left, right, diagonally, horizontal, vertical, and for Pinkie, some odd combination of the first two and last one. As a result of their clumsy attempts to by the other, Twilight tripped on Pinkie's hoof and fell onto her back, making her fall right into Pinkie's mane . . . Pinkie's deliciously-sweet scented mane.
"Mmm . . . !" Twilight moaned as she took in whiff after whiff of the desirable-smelling pink hair. She couldn't help herself. She grabbed Pinkie's sides and pushed herself up, then stepped backwards and readied herself to jump. Once she had enough distance, she bounded into the air, tackling Pinkie to the ground and causing them to tumble around the orchards until they were safely behind a tree, where nopony could see them . . . unless they came right next to them. Pinkie wasn't sure what just happened, until her eyes focused on a lavender nose that was pressing up against hers.
"You are so sweet." Twilight complimented, rubbing Pinkie's cheek. "In more ways than one! I mean . . . throwing this party for Spike. It's so . . .you, but I think it's just the thing we need for him and us."
"Uh-huh!" Pinkie nodded enthusiastically as Twilight's hoof trailed down her chest. They began giggling mischievously. Twilight was so caught in the volume of it she didn't notice Pinkie's giggling was much less mischievous and much more anxious than hers.
"Uh . . . wut are you two doin'?"
Twilight's and Pinkie's widening in unison. They turned to see Applejack standing there, barrels of apples over her haunches, looking at them from over by the tree, with a confused stare.
"Uh . . . uh . . ." Twilight stammered. As she had done more than a few times before, Pinkie came to her rescue.
"We were playing and didn't watch where we were going, so we tripped over one of your tree trunks." Pinkie explained, hoping that would make Applejack go away. Instead, it brought her closer.
"Tarnation, gurls! Didn't yer mama teach ya not to play near the really big ones?" Applejack rushed over to help the two of them. "Did ya hurt anything? Broken nose? Sprained ankle?"
"We're fine, just a little dizzy." Twilight answered, attempting to shoo away the hoof Applejack was extending to help them up.
"Be more careful next time!" Applejack scolded as she walked away to the next portion of the farm, easily seeing her help was neither needed nor wanted.
Twilight slowly scooted upwards, and for once, was able to drag herself off Pinkie Pie. She helped Pinkie Pie up to her hooves, only for Pinkie to turn around and scold her.
"That was way too close." Twilight reflected.
"Yes, it was!" Pinkie snapped. "You need to be more careful next time!"
"I know . . ." Twilight whined, crossing one of her legs in front of the other as her tail curled around her Cutie Mark shyly. "I'm sorry . . ."
Seeing so apprehensive, Pinkie felt bad for getting on to her. But like any motherly figure in charge of teaching her young charge the difference between right and wrong, 'okay' and 'not okay', it needed to be done. Which was not to say an apology could not be offered afterward.
"Come on." Pinkie put a hoof to Twilight's neck. "Let's go the library."
Twilight smiled, overjoyed at the thought of being able to get some quality cuddling time with Pinkie. Her Pinkie.
Spike waddled towards the Carousel Boutique, meaning if maybe his crush knew anything about Twilight and Pinkie's recent activities and behavior towards him . . . and each other. From the sounds he heard as he approached, she must have been busy. He heard thwacks of wood smacking against other words, likely a discarded ruler being carelessly tossed into a drawer, having outlived its usefulness to her. He heard rustlings and tearing of clothes, rustling of linen, but none of that deterred him from wanting to see her.
"Rarity?" Spike asked, knocking on the door. "Rarity, are you in there? I sort of need your help with something!"
The door opened, but it was Sweetie Belle, not Rarity. Spike felt a syringe full of awkwardness and inadequacy unload into his arm upon seeing her again. Her black eye had gone down considerably, on the very brink of being completely gone, but that didn't make him feel any better about remembering he had hurt her in the first place.
"Hey." Spike shifted his legs, uncomfortable and nervous. "You all right?"
"Yeah?" Sweetie Belle nodded, missing the cues that would've let her know what was upsetting him.
"That's good . . . that's good!" Spike nodded his head. "So, um . . . I know I already gave you that apology sundae, but...do you forgive me?"
"Yes." Sweetie Belle answered.
Spike's held his claw in the air, disbelief rising out of his belly like he was about give off a huge belch. "Wha-really?"
"Yeah . . ." Sweetie Belle rubbed shyly at the base of her ear. "I've had some time to think about it, and . . . it's not like you did on purpose, right? Accidents happen...at least, that's what Applejack says, according to Apple Bloom. Besides, we Cutie Mark Crusaders haven't been without our share of accidents!" Sweetie Belle swung her hoof through the air. "So, uh . . . can I help you?"
"Yes! I want to ask Rarity a question . . ." Spike rubbed his claws together. "It's . . . kind of important."
"Ooh, I don't think that's such a good idea right now . . .she's not still mad at you, but she is, um...busy." The whir of a sewing machine buzzed from behind Sweetie Belle, before it somehow turned into a klaxon alarm followed by an exclamation of "Drat!"
"See?"
"Please?" Spike begged, getting on his knees. "It really means a lot me I ask her about this!"
Sweetie Belle stilled seemed uncertain, but seeing Spike on his knees seemed to change her mind. "All right." She nodded and went back inside, calling her sister's name as Spike followed behind her. "Hey, Rarity?"
"Yes, darling?"
"Spike's here! He wants to ask you a question!"
"What!?"
Rarity came rushing out to meet them, her beautiful sharp eyes holding a twinge to them Spike had come to understand met she was in the zone. Not 'in the zone' in the way Rarity normally got in, but actually in the zone, like so far gone in her passion for fashion there was no use trying to beg or reason with her. "You can't be here right now!" Rarity shrieked, pointing at Spike.
"But . . . I thought that you forgave me!" Spike protested.
Rarity scoffed. "Oh, psshaw, darling, it has nothing to do with that. Sweetie Belle, get him out of here, now!"
"Uh, okay. How?" Sweetie Belle asked.
"I don't know!" Rarity snapped, walking towards the other room. "Distract him! Kiss him or something, just get him out!"
Sweetie Belle turned to Spike and pursed her lips, indecisive between obeying her sister's will and not putting her lips to Spike's scaly own. Spike decided it was best to just be nice and surrender before she could make her decision. He threw his arms into the air. "Okay, okay! I'm going, I'm going . . ."
Spike stepped out the door, Sweetie Belle closing it behind while passing along a quiet apology for Rarity kicking him out.
Spike signed, not sure where to go next or who to turn to. He had been hoping Rarity would know about Pinkie and Twilight, since this seems like her kind of thing (and Twilight and Pinkie had been going to her for advice for some reason, over something. . .)
He saw Rainbow Dash sitting on a cloud, sitting in a position otherwise abnormal for ponies unless they were holding something nearly as big as they were.
Spike heard a string go twang somewhere nearby, but he wasn't sure where.
He didn't think Rainbow Dash would know anything about Pinkie's and Twilight's behavior. The same way it was Rarity's thing, it was soo not Rainbow Dash's thing, but she was just a few steps away, and he already tried Applejack, he couldn't ask Pinkie or Twilight themselves, certainly, and Fluttershy was on the other end of town . . .
So he stepped forward and called her name. "Rainbow Dash? Rainbow Dash, can you hear me up there?"
"Hmm?" Rainbow Dash's ears perked up, and she rolled over to look down at the lowly earth beneath her to see what eternally earthbound mortal was desiring her attention today. Spike's attention was caught by the presence of a guitar in her hooves.
The guitar had a long neck that ended in a blue plastic – or metal, Spike couldn't tell from the ground – 'V', and the body of was round and covered in the same blue material. Its neck was long, but thin.
"What's that?" Spike asked, pointing at the guitar.
"Oh, this?" Rainbow Dash said like the guitar was nothing special. "Just a guitar I happened to find lying around. Been trying to make it work off and on since. Can't you believe somepony threw this bad boy out!?"
Rainbow Dash began strumming a tune on the guitar, using the edges of her hooves to draw the strings. She got a good start, especially considering that she had no fingers or claws, but something occurred to Spike;
What if it was thrown away for a reason?
His thoughts prove correct, as Rainbow Dash's nice start didn't last, as she guitar suddenly went out of tune, producing harsh metallic sounds that Spike found painful to listen to. Rainbow Dash didn't even seem to notice, as she kept playing without a care in the world.
Spike then noticed a sight most unwelcome approaching him. A little white ball of fluff mounted on another white ball of fluff. A rabbit. A rodentia. A bunny.
Angel Bunny.
Evidently, he had come for revenge for Spike scaring him yesterday, and was ready to to deliver some serious payback to the dragon. Spike balled his claws into fists and got ready to engage in a ball of violence, clawing and poking at each other.
Angel Bunny got to Spike's feet and shook his fists at Spike. Spike got his dukes ready, and was about to strike when something unexpected happen.
"Hey!"
Angel and Spike turned to see a young colt approaching them. He had a dark beige coat and scraggy black hair that covered his eyes, making Rainbow Dash think of a bully she knew named Hoops. This colt was almost a dead ringer, except he wasn't a pegasus and was wearing a black shirt with a vague white picture on it, along with a red sports cap.
"What do you think you're doing, bunny? " The colt hissed at Angel, an indignation in his voice as he snarled the name of Angel's species name. "Trying to take on somepony who didn't do nothing wrong, I'll bet?"
Angel leered, chittering his little bunny teeth angrily, probably swearing in his secret bunny language. He thought better of trying to pick a fight with both of them and hopped away from them.
"Thanks." Spike thanked his unusual rescuer. "You hate Angel, too, huh?"
"Angel?" The colt questioned. "He has a name? . . . Sorry, no, no, see I just- I just hate rabbits, is all. Bad experience with them when I was younger. And I just so happened to hear somepony playing some pretty rock-out tunes, so I came over to find out what the deal was."
"Uh, yeah." Rainbow Dash affirmed arrogantly, lowering herself to the ground. "That was me." She held the guitar up proudly.
"Oh, dude!" The colt exclaimed. "Where did you find that? My mom threw it out by accident a few years ago!"
"Oh . . . so that's why it was in the trash." Rainbow Dash's tone turned dejected, as she realized this colt would probably want his guitar. Spike, meanwhile, wasn't so sure it was an accident, given how out of tune it was. Rainbow Dash held it up. "I guess that means you'll want it back, huh?"
"Nah." The colt waved his hoof. "You can keep it. She got me a pretty sweet replacement. So you were the one playing it, huh?"
"Uh-huh!" Rainbow Dash nodded and set about playing again. Spike, taking precautions, put his claws over his ear holes, much to the colt's confusion, and began sneaking away. The colt liked what Rainbow Dash was pumping out, at least until the guitar suddenly turned out-of-tune again, forcing the colt to put his hoof on the strings to stop when Rainbow Dash wouldn't.
"Dude, what is wrong with you?" The colt questioned. "Can't you hear that this thing is waaay out of tune?"
"It is?" Rainbow Dash questioned.
"Yeah. Here . . . if you'll give me it, I'll see about fixing it up a little bit . . ." Rainbow Dash willingly surrendered the guitar to its former owner, who sighed at its touch. "Ooh . . . this brings back memories . . . anyways . . ." He began fiddling with the tuners on the guitar. While he worked, Rainbow Dash got an idea.
"Hey . . ." Rainbow Dash called for his attention. "Me and some friends of mine are throwing a party of that little dragon that just walked off."
"Oh?" The colt lifted his head up, and Rainbow Dash knew she had him hooked. "Is it his birthday?"
"No, no . . ." Rainbow Dash shook her head. "He's just feeling down is all. But I was thinking . . . you must have some friends of your own, right?"
"Yeah?" The colt answered, curious where Rainbow Dash was going with this.
"Well . . . think you could round them up and bring them to the party?" Rainbow Dash said teasingly. "You know, liven it up a little?"
"Yeah. We could do that. . ." The colt said as he handed the guitar back to Rainbow Dash.
Twilight, lying with Pinkie on her couch, was startled by Pinkie's body suddenly engaging in wild motions that shook her about, like Twilight was trying to ride Pinkie like a bronco.
"Pinkie!?" Twilight exclaimed, her love shaking like jello in her hooves. "What's wrong!?"
"Pinkie Sense!" Pinkie answered.
"What's it saying?"
"That our friend of ours is about to inadvertently completely ruin something for another friend of ours!"
Twilight put a hoof to her mouth and worried, as with what was going, she could only reach a few, only slightly varying conclusions. "I hope it doesn't have anything to do with the party . . ."
"I hope so too." Pinkie said, wrapping her leg around Twilight's neck.
Spike waddled over to Fluttershy's house, despite his suspicions Angel was somewhere around here, waiting for Spike to pass by and then spring from the dirt and grass to take a terrible revenge on him.
As he got closer to the shed, Spike noticed that it seemed quiet. Almost too quiet, even for Fluttershy. It wasn't until he was at the door and about to knock did he realized what was wrong.
There were no animals around. Normally, there were at least some animals around, even if they were so much as just butterflies butterflying into the wind from one plant to another. They were there, usually, which is something they most certainly were not now.
"Hmm..." He rested his claw against the door, accidentally scratching it with his long draconian nails. Spike grimaced and hoped that the damage he did to the door was negligible, or at least easily fixed. Both fortunately and unfortunately, Fluttershy heard the scratch and mistook it for somepony, so she opened the door...slamming Spike into the wall.
"Hello?" Fluttershy asked the air. "Is-is somepony there?"
"Mmm mmmhf mmhpf!" Spike protested, flailing his limbs about to get her attention before she retreated back inside and dismissed it all as a freak accident.
"Oh!" Fluttershy pulled the door back, giving Spike a much desired look at fresh air and sunlight again. "Oh my goodness! Are you all right, Spike?"
"Yeah . . ." Spike put his claws on his knees. "Just need...to breath...for a second."
"Why don't you come inside?" Fluttershsy kindly offered.
Spike glared, remembering yesterday and how well him coming inside had turned out for him. "Are you sure?"
"Absolutely." Fluttershy nodded. "I promise Angel isn't going to be upsetting you."
Spike raised his eyebrow. He knew Fluttershy was a generous and gracious host, but short of locking that rodent in a box and throwing him over a cliff (and preferably into a pit full of manticores, dragons, giant spiders and whatever else Fluttershy could find) Spike didn't think there way any way for Fluttershy to guarantee Angle not upsetting him.
But seeing her stare at him so expectantly, Spike sighed and gave in. "Fine." He followed her inside the door to her home.
Spike had been here before, of course, yesterday and a few times before that. So he understood what the place looked like enough that he couldn't get over how off something was...something he couldn't quite put his claw on... what was it...
"Where is Angel, anyway?"
"Oh, he's out right now." Fluttershy answered, going into the kitchen and pulling out a teapot. She set the teapot on the stove and turned on the burner underneath it. "We're throwing you a party at my house to cheer you up, so all my animal friends are elsewhere. Angel wasn't too happy about it . . ."
Spike's first thought about this was that may have the actual reason Angel was looking to pick a fight with him. He didn't want revenge for yesterday, he wanted to vent his frustration he'd been kicked out today.
Although with what went on in that rabbit's mind . . . who knows? Spike briefly wondered how Fluttershy put up with so much and why she doted on him even more than her other pets.
Spike's second thought was that was a very generous thing for Fluttershy to do. He knew she didn't like loud noises, and he also knew how much each and every one of her animal friends meant to her, so for her to send them away at all must have been incredibly taxing on her . . .or, there was something he wasn't aware that factored in her ultimate decision.
His third thought was that everypony was throwing him a party.
"A party? For me?" Spike asked. Fluttershy nodded, before turning back to the tea kettle. "What for?"
"Well . . . " Fluttershy pursed her lips. "We've noticed you've been sad about something lately, so we decided to try to cheer you up. Pinkie said throwing it at my house would make it 'special'."
"That's awfully sweet of her . . ." Spike muttered, blushing that Pinkie would take such extreme lengths just to make him feel better.
There was a knock on the door.
"Is that-?" Spike asked eagerly, rubbing his claws in anticipation.
"I hope so!" Fluttershy answered. She rushed towards the door and opened it. Spike closed his eyes, trying to brace for the disappointment of it being somepony besides their friends.
"Hey, Fluttershy!"
Spike opened his eyes. That was Twilight's voice.
"Ready for the party?"
"Oh, your timing is perfect! I just told Spike all about it!"
"Yeah! Maybe a surprise would've nicer, but surprise parties are loud, and it is your house..." Twilight muttered.
Soon, everypony came pouring in – Applejack, Twilight, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, the whole gang, except for Rainbow Dash. Spike wondered why she didn't show up.
Pinkie must have read his mind, as the first thing she said was "Has anypony seen Rainbow Dash?"
Everypony answered in the negative.
"Huh . . ." Pinkie muttered. "That's weird . . . normally she loves parties."
"She probably thought something rude." Twilight said skeptically. "Like, 'Party at Fluttershy's? Ugh! Dullsville'!" Twilight shook her and snorted.
Fluttershy grew concerned. "Are you okay, Twilight? You're not usually this...cynical about Rainbow Dash."
Twilight sighed. "No, Fluttershy, no, I'm not. I'm very stressed out." Twilight wrapped her legs around the shoulders of her number one assistant. "But this party is about making Spike feel better, not me."
"Aww . . .Twilight!" Spike lifted Twilight's leg off himself. "Who says you don't deserve some cheering up of your own?"
Twilight's lips faltered for a second. In that second, Spike might have been able to catch a glimpse of the strenuous control she was exercising each and every day, but he wasn't as socially trained as Rarity or Twilight was, so he missed it.
Seeing as they were at Flutterhshy's, and not somewhere spacious like the library or Sugercube Corner, everypony forewent the usual party options of raucous games and all just sat down for tea. Applejack gave Spike a cup of odd-smelling brown drink, which he discovered to be apple scented upon sniffing it.
"What's this?" Spike questioned.
"Apple tea!" Applejack answered proudly. "Soothes the nerves and calms the heart, Granny Smith used tah tell me."
Spike eyed it warily. Apple tea? That's like putting a banana inside a sapphire cupcake; it just doesn't work that way.
"Try it!" Twilight insisted, holding in her magic a cup of the same stuff. "It's actually quite good!" She sipped at her cup to prove her point.
There was another knock to the door.
"Ah . . . Rainbow Dash, unfashionably late as always." Rarity wittily remarked.
Twilight levitated her cup down and pulled open the door, to be met with Rainbow Dash . . . as a well as whole bunch of other ponies! They all some resemblance to the guitarist Rainbow Dash met earlier, with simple T-shirts and manecuts that put either some or all of their hair in front of their eyes.
"Wha-!?" Twilight exclaimed. "Rainbow Dash! Who are these ponies?"
"Some cool guys I met today." Rainbow Dash answered. "Figured I'd bring them along. Y'know, liven things up a little."
"Rainbow Dash!" Twilight chided. "This is supposed to be a quiet party!"
"Aw, come on!" Dash insisted, as the rowdy bunch behind began exchanging murmurs and whispers as to what was the hold-up. "It's only six or eight guys, and who knows?" Rainbow Dash wiggled her eyebrows. "Maybe we could even find a few coltfriends out of them, huh?"
Twilight was not amused, and not just because swung the other way. "Very funny. Take this crowd go to a concert where they belong!"
"Oh, come on!" Rainbow Dash insisted again, whining this time. "I brought them all the way out here, and it'll be fine!"
"It will?" Twilight asked, extremely doubtful Rainbow Dash could back up that assurance.
"Yeah!"
Twilight pursed her lips. Any condition she set, was more or less guaranteed to not be met, so it was less like giving Rainbow Dash a condition she had to meet to let these colts inside and more like trying to warn Rainbow Dash what her punishment would be that Twilight would carry out.
"Fine. Fine. But if things get out of hoof, you will be held responsible, and I will . . . I'm still working on that."
Twilight stepped aside, reluctantly, allowing Rainbow Dash and her new 'posse' to rush in, much to the startling of Fluttershy and Rarity. Pinkie's eyes widened when she saw what Rainbow Dash had done. Spike was just confused, caught in the middle of it all . . . as usual.
"What's going on?" Spike asked, confused and not recognizing any of these ponies.
"Rainbow Dash." Pinkie snarled, clenching her hoof around her ceramic cup so tightly it shattered. "Oop! Uh . . . I'll pay you for a replacement, Fluttershy."
Little did they know, the mess of ceramic shards and spilt apple tea that pooled at Pinkie's feet was the first test of Fluttershy's resolve. "It's fine . . . just . . . clean up what you spilled, would you, please? Um, if that's okay?"
"Of course!" Pinkie answered, departing to look for a broom. She shot a filthy glare at Rainbow Dash. Spike noticed Pinkie and Twilight were both shooting Rainbow Dash glares. Matching glares, with the exact expression in the exact same position, and he could read from their eyes they were thinking the exact same thing. They were imagining doing to Rainbow Dash something very pleasant to be thinking of doing to somepony, but not so pleasant for that somepony to go through.
"So!" One of the hipsters Rainbow Dash had dragged gave Spike a scare by poking his head into the conversation he was having with Fluttershy. "I hear this party is for you?"
"Uh . . . yeah." Spike stammered, a little rattled from the surprise guest and their abrupt way of addressing.
"Well . . . come on, little dude!" The hipster picked Spike and lifted the dragon onto the back of his neck, and whisked him away to the center of the living room floor, where they were engaging in free form break dancing. (The horror!) Spike was dropped into the middle of it. He was hesitant, but after awhile, he got into the swing of things, while the crown began doing more typical party things, like Twister and cranking out the tunes on a boombox.
"Mmnnnee . . ." Fluttershy whimpered when the colt in questioned pressed the power button on said boombox. He kept it low, as the house wasn't all that big, and therefore, did not have a whole of ground for the vibrations of sound to cover.
"Honestly . . ." Rarity said, drawing up to Rainbow Dash alongside Pinkie Pie and Twilight. "What were you thinking, Rainbow Dash?"
"I was thinking these guys could liven up the party some!" Rainbow Dash replied, unaffected by how upset everypony was with her. "I mean, who wants to just sit down and talk while drinking apple tea? Boooring!"
Twilight narrowed her eyes, subtly trying to regain control before she said something she'd regret.
"Besides!" Rainbow Dash elbowed Rarity. "Who knows? We might be able to score a few coltfriends in this crowd!"
"Well . . . I suppose." Rarity admitted, latching onto the idea that something worth her valuable time might come from Rainbow Dash's roguish behavior. She took a quick glance over a the crowd. "No, no . . . not my type, none of them."
"What about you, Twilight?" Rainbow Dash asked. "Think you see one of these handsome boys in your future?"
"Actually, Twilight and Pinkie already have boyfriends." Rarity informed Rainbow Dash.
"Whoa! No kidding? Really? Who are they?" Rainbow Dash's wings popped up, she was so excited at the idea of Egghead and Pinkie the Party Pony at having boyfriends.
Twilight continued to not be amused, but she exchanged a knowing glance with Pinkie and smiled.
"Actually, Rainbow Dash, my boyfriend is already in this crowd." Twilight smugly told her.
"Really?"
"Oooh!" Rarity squealed. "Which one is it? Is that in the corner with the overbite? Librarians love the overbite." She added as an aside to Rainbow Dash.
"No." Twilight answered, drawing her neck back. "First name is Nunya, last name is Ofyerbisness."
"What kind of name is Nunya Ofyerbisness-!?" Rainbow Dash exclaimed, but saying the name all together let her realize the pun. "Oh. Haha. Very funny."
Nopony noticed Fluttershy's whimpers steadily grow louder, er, quieter and more high-pitched. She tried to handle the loud noise, the music, and all these ponies she didn't know. She didn't want to ruin Spike's party. She held her hoof and took a breath to calm herself before putting her cup of tea down and trotting towards the owner of the boombox.
"Um, excuse me, sir?" Fluttershy said gently, waving her for his attention. "Could you turn the music down?"
The colt seemed not to hear her, as he turned to the nearest other hipster on his right. "What? What did she say?"
"I think she said for you to turn the music loud!"
Fluttershy went bug-eyed. "NO! Turn the music down! "
But her panicked shout fell on deaf ears – which were quite possibly actually deaf, at least one side, but she wasn't sure, and it was rude to ask- and the colt hit the volume button on his device until it was so loud that it literally threw Fluttershy backwards into the wall.
Despite the music now threatening to tear apart Fluttershy's house by a sound-induced earthquake, Spike noticed his yellow friend go flying into the wall and rushed over to check on her.
"Hey . . ." Spike said softly to her, getting on his knees to bring their faces closer to each other. "You okay?"
Fluttershy looked at him, her big innocent green eyes growing in size considerably. "Ooooh!" She turned around until she was right-side up on her hooves again and slammed her hoof on the ground. "Spike, I am so so sorry. I really didn't want to ruin your party, but I can't take it anymore!"
Fluttershy began to march towards the colt and the boombox, and Spike found that he was genuinely worried for the colt's safety. Hope his parents have a good life insurance policy...
Fluttershy stomped towards the boombox, the floor beneath trembling 'neath every powerful step. An angry force of nature had been awoken by amoral shames and ambitions druids to wreak havoc on mere mortals, and its name was Fluttershy.
Fluttershy took in a deep breath like she was going to scream her head off until the colt's ears jumped off his head and ran away...and calmly placed her hoof on the boombox's power button, turning it off so she could speak. Since she had turned the music off, she had all of the colts' attention.
"Um, I'm so sorry to ask this of you, everypony, but I don't like loud noises . . . or loud music, and this is my house, so I'm going to have to ask you all to GET OUT! . . . Please. If-if that's not too much trouble."
Rainbow Dash looked at Fluttershy, then, realizing she may have made a mistake in bringing all those colts here, started to creep towards the door.
"Oh no you don't." Twilight noticed and used her magic to grab Rainbow's tail and pull her back inside. "You're going to stay here and see this to the end, you little-"
Pinkie quickly lashed her tail around Twilight's head before she called Rainbow Dash something unsavory, making it look like Twilight had put on a big pink scarf. Put it on wrong at that.
Thankfully, everything turned out actually rather well. The teens all took their hats (at least the ones wearing hats) and admitted they may have took things a little too far. They all surrounded Fluttershy and asked what they could do to make it up to her. Clean around her house, go out and pick her up some stuff from the store, maybe take care of her pet for a week while she went on vacation. (Oh, if only they knew what that entailed!) Needlessly to say, Fluttershy was overwhelmed at all the request, but also a little surprised they were being so humble. She set them about doing the first suggestion; cleaning her house.
As they scrambled to get to work, and tried in vain to figure out where the ever-tidy Fluttershy kept all her myriad cleaning supplies, Fluttershy went to talk some more with Spike, feeling repentant about her actions. Even though they were entirely justified, and Rainbow Dash should have been the one to feel guilt.
"I'm sorry for ruining your party, Spike."
"Aw . . . it's okay." Spike assured her with a wave. "At least I got to try to breakdance. That was kinda cool...you know, while it lasted." He rubbed the back of his neck nervously.
"Is there anything I can do for you?" Fluttershy asked, wanting to make things up.
"Ah, you don't have to do any of that! Although . . ." Spike looked at Twilight and Pinkie over in the corner, and leaned in to whisper. He pointed at the two mares. "If you could tell me what's going on with those two..."
"I, um..." Fluttershy stammered, and Spike's heart skipped a beat as he imagined that finally, somepony was going to tell what was going on!
"I think Twilight noticed you pointing at them."
Oh, for the love of Celestia- oh dear. That meant Twilight had noticed him pointing at them. Twilight stomping towards him, looking not at all pleased.
"I hear you've been asking around about Pinkie and I are doing . . ." Twilight said to Spike suspiciously.
Spike gulped, swallowing hard in fright. "Y-yeah."
"Well, let's clear this up right now; what Pinkie and I are doing are adult things that do not concern you. As much you may not want to admit it, Spike, you're still a baby dragon." Twilight turned and left on that sour reminder.
Spike looked down at the floor, Twilight's words ringing in his head.
Pinkie saw his downcast expression as Twilight walked back up to herself. Pinkie reached around Twilight's neck and pulled her somewhere they could talk without anypony hearing. "Twilight . . . are you sure that was the right thing to say?"
"No." Twilight said with a sigh. "But he's not ready for the truth yet."
"How do you know?"
"I don't . . ." Twilight admitted. "While we're still living in Canterlot, it . . . it never came up."
"Hm. Well . . ." Pinkie looked away, not looking Twilight in the eye as she prepared to deliver the crippling blow she was about to. "I have to be honest with you, Twilight . . . I don't know if Spike is ready or not . . ."
Pinkie started walking towards the direction of the door, and looked over her wither at her beau.
"I just know that you're not."
Twilight was about to protest, but she couldn't think of one. She resigned herself to just standing with her face pointed at the ground, just like Spike currently was in another part of Fluttershy's house, as Pinkie walked out the door.
Author's Note
That ending represents a running theme I have, that Pinkie - space-minded, air headed, doesn't think like a normal pony Pinkie- is somehow more down to earth in a relationship than logical, rational raised by high society Twilight.
There's also a running idea I have in this...continuity family of mine that in the process of being in a relationship, Twilight and Pinkie start to pick up and do the others' traits.
As night fell upon Ponyville's dusty fields, Twilight and Pinkie left Fluttershy's house, leaving her to the mercies of the teenagers . . . or perhaps the teenagers to the mercies of Fluttershy.
They weren't really sure which.
But either way, Twilight had insisted on getting out quickly so they could keep an eye on Spike. Pinkie was glad to see that, even though Twilight wasn't willing to divulge the secrets of their relationship just yet, Twilight wasn't going to let Spike's investigative inquiries stop her from worrying over his safety in the darkness of the night. Spike felt differently, not knowing of Twilight's uncertainty and anxiety about sharing her secret, and to him, it seemed less like caring for his safety and more about smothering him.
They got to the library without incident, though not entirely without distraction. Pinkie was still Pinkie, and that meant she had to check out every little moving thing that caught her interest, even that twitch she saw in the forest that turned to just be a grasshopper on a tree stump.
Twilight stepped around the rest of her friends and unlocked the door. Spike grumbled about how pushy she was being.
“There's no need to shove us around, Twi, geez . . .”
“What was that?”
“Nothing!”
“Mh-hmm.” Twilight huffed at Spike, making it clear she didn't believe him, but she didn't seem too concerned about pursuing the matter, as she simply opened the door and trotted in. Spike followed after her, thinking about how nice it would be to wrap in his nice comfy basket and drift off to dreamland, but a painful sharp pressure on his tail brought him back to reality.
“Ow!”
“Oh, I'm sorry, Spike! I didn't mean to get your tail!”
Spike turned around and raised an eyebrow at Pinkie. “Uh, shouldn't you be at Sugarcube Corner?”
Why was Pinkie following him inside the house? She didn't sleep here. Did she think maybe they were a slumber party waiting, or did it not occur to her that the 'Celebratory Week' had long since ended?
Pinkie shifted her eyes back and forth. “Uh, yes. No! Maybe. Um . . . ”
Spike crossed his arms. “You and Twilight have been spending so much time together lately! Why-!”
“Spike.”
Spike's heart dropped into his stomach. He turned around and saw Twilight resting on the stairs, giving him a glare. Her shadow arched out from the stairs across the floor. It was a like a strict Victorian father ready to admonish his child for even daring to think that he could engage his sense of childlike wonder.
“Remember what I said at Fluttershy's house?” Twilight questioned, walking towards him and taking her place – her rightful place- next to Pinkie Pie. “That what we're doing is an adult thing that does not concern you?”
“But-!” Spike protested.
“Why don't you go to bed, Spike?” Twilight asked softly, but Spike saw it for the veiled order that it was.
Spike exploded, fed up with Twilight's secret-keeping.
“You and her have been spending so much time together, it's like I don't even matter to you anymore!”
Pinkie's nose started to whistle as she tried to contain the rage boiling inside her, threatening to burst forth and just frikkin' tell Spike already. She wanted to. Pinkie wanted to sooo badly, and she had faith that Spike could handle it, but she also knew if she just went out of nowhere and told Spike without clearing it with Twilight, Twilight would feel so betrayed!
“All right, fine.” Twilight muttered in response. “Tomorrow, I will send Pinkie back to Sugarcube Corner and spend the whole day with you.”
Spike raised an eyebrow, while Pinkie tried to raise an alarm. “You sure about that, Twi?”
“Yes, Spike. I'm sure. I still care for you, even if I am spending time learning about . . . er, friendship with Pinkie Pie.”
“Are you really, really sure?” Pinkie added in, pressing herself against Twilight and rubbing their Cutie Marks together. Pinkie started to wrap her tail around Twilight's neck. “I mean, think about what you'll be missing!” Pinkie would've loved for Twilight to send her away for a day and spend time with Spike, but she also knew what that meant to Twilight.
Twilight, the pony afflicted with Pink Fever, addicted to the feel of Pink against her flesh, without her widdle Pinkie to treat her.
Twilight closed her eyes and took in a big whiff of Pinkie's tail. She sighed in content. “Aaah . . . okay, okay . . . the day after tomorrow, I will send Pinkie Pie away and spend the day with you, Spike. I promise. Now go to bed.”
Spike rubbed his chin, understandably doubtful that Twilight would live up to her end of the bargain. He noticed how pained Twilight seemed to be, either with or without Pinkie. The whines she made under her breath both when Pinkie came hopping in, and the whinnies when Pinkie turned to leave. He nodded his head and played along. “Yeah . . . all right . . . bed . . .”
Spike turned around and walked up the stairs, his dragon tail crawling along the ground like a saddened slug.
Seeing he was gone, Twilight sighed. Pinkie put a hoof on Twilight's neck, knowing that the feel of her hoof always made Twilight feel just a little bit better inside.
“What's wrong?”
“I don't know how long I can keep this up.” Twilight admitted. “He's going to know the truth eventually.”
Pinkie blinked, not sure if she heard that right. “Could you repeat that?”
Twilight was confused by Pinkie's request, but obeyed it. “He's going to know the truth eventually?”
Pinkie tried not to let the smile that was forming inside her out. To hear Twilight admit that Spike was going to eventually know the truth was extremely encouraging, as before, Twilight was violently against the idea of letting Spike know anything, but now that she was confronted with the reality of it . . . she accepted it. She accepted that Spike was going to find out, instead of, say, having a complete breakdown and loss of contact with reality over the possibility that maybe, just maybe some secrets aren't worth keeping.
“Yeah, that.” Pinkie answered. She frowned as she remembered she still needed to prepare Twilight for coping without her soon. Extending the deadline from tomorrow to the day after tomorrow gave some room for maneuvers, but only up from 12 hours for the rest of tonight to 36 for this night and tomorrow.
“Come on.” Pinkie nudged her head against Twilight's neck, in the direction of the kitchen. “Let's go binge on sweets.”
“Mmm . . . are you sure that's a good idea, Pinkie? We still have things to do tomorrow . . .”
“Nope!” Pinkie answered. “In fact, I'm sure it is the absolute worst idea right now . . . which is typically when it is also the best idea!”
“Mmm . . .”
Twilight and Pinkie went to the kitchen and pulled out two chairs, taking out a secret, hidden stash of sugar cubes from the refrigerator and stacking them in pyramids on the table. With Spike in bed, they could freely indulge without worrying about Spike catching them doing something naughty with their inhibitions lowered.
For the first cube, they felt a brief, fleeting spike of joy, the sweet taste of their treats allowing them to temporarily forget their troubled relationships.
For the third cube, they felt their joy swell up, knowing they wouldn't run out of cubes any time soon.
By the twelfth cube, they both felt daring, and picked cubes from the others' pile and feed it to them, causing giggles to spew.
By the twenty-fourth cube, they were having a jolly good time arguing over whether it was the west wall of the library or the south wall that broke out into soprano. After much arguing, they agreed to a comprise that were it was both singing, deciding to do a barbershop quartet, but North Wall and East Wall just didn't feel like it today.
“Come here, you!” Pinkie raised her front legs and beckoned Twilight over for a kiss. But she lost her balance, and flailed her legs as she fell off her chair tipped and deposited her on the floor.
“Piiiinkie!” Twilight wailed. It was just the chair tipping over, but in Twilight's buzz, it seemed as though Pinkie was plummeting to her doom after falling off the edge of a cliff. Twilight abandoned her chair, tipping it over as well in the process, and went to comfort her love. Twilight got on to her hind legs and scooped Pinkie up into her front legs. “Are you okay, my love?”
“Uhhh . . . I don't know.” Pinkie dazedly murmured, her sugar buzz keeping her disoriented. “Say, maybe a little . . . ” Pinkie lashed her front leg around Twilight's neck and lifted her head up, bringing their lips closer together. “Tender loving care should fix me right up, cutie pie.”
Twilight's mouth hung open in lust at Pinkie's teasing. She panted heavily, ready for Pinkie to take her.
“Wait, wait . . .” Twilight turned her head towards the door, where her drunken vision was barely to make out three purple blurs standing adjacent to each other. Even in her stupor, Twilight was capable of recognizing her assistant when he was disobeying his bed time and defying her authority.
“Uh . . .”
“Spike!” Twilight screamed. “Get out of here! Go back to bed!”
“Yeah, I just forgot something.” Spike held out a piece of papyrus Twilight hadn't noticed. “Your brother was going to come over sometime soon, but he was so busy he couldn't only come by late, so I thought I tell you, since it's almost when he said he'd be by.”
“Uh-huh.” Twilight nodded as Pinkie fell from her grasp and dropped to the floor, not taking in the implications of Spike's words. “Good. Thank you, Spike. Now go back to bed!”
Spike raised his arms in surrender, and dropped the scroll to the floor before leaving and heading back up the stairs.
“Now, where were we?” Twilight asked, pinning Pinkie Pie beneath her hooves.
“I don't remember . . . ” Pinkie answered, rolling her sugar-buzzed eyes. “I think I was giving you an excuse to kiss me?”
“Oh. Since when do I need to excuse to get me a slice of my little Pinkie Pie?” Twilight asked, pretending to be offended as she rubbed her hoof along Pinkie's marshmallow-soft chest. “I mean . . . ” Twilight lowered her head in close.
“It is my Pie, after all, isn't it?”
In something Twilight found most strange, Pinkie didn't answer, just staring blankly into oblivion without any regard for the mare atop her.
Twilight became worried. “Isn't it? Isn't it, Pinkie? Pinkie, why won't you answer me!?”
“I . . .” Pinkie raised her hoof, her blue eyes shimmering with pure innocence and dark unknowing. “I'm scared.”
“Of whaaat?” Twilight whined. “Come on, sweetie. We're partners now.” Twilight cupped Pinkie's cheek and rubbed it reassuringly. “We need to be able to tell each other things.”
“Well . . .” Pinkie clicked her tongue, but was spared from explaining by a sudden, unexpected knock on the door.
“Oh, that must be my brother.” Twilight concluded. “Spike said he was coming by . . .” Twilight, though suffering much psychosomatic pain from it, willed herself up and away from Pinkie, wobbling on her hooves. As she stood, the impact of what was happening finally hit her hard, like a sock with brick inside had just been stuffed into a cannon and fired at her face.
“Oh my gosh!” The realization of what was happening distressed Twilight to the point she was able to overcome her sugar buzz and snapped out of her reverie. “My brother is here! Shining Armor is here, visiting! Do you know what that means!?”
Pinkie blinked, not nearly as sobered up as Twilight was. “There's a male pony named Shining Armor whose your brother is waiting outside the door, knocking to be let in?”
“Yes! Do you know what that means?”
“No?” Pinkie confusedly answered, climbing to her hooves.
“It means my brother is here! Shining Armor doesn't know about us, Pinkie, and he can't! It's not even like Spike where he just can't know because- because . . . I don't know why, but Shining Armor REALLY can't know!”
“Huh?” Pinkie said, rubbing her forehead, her sugar buzz keeping her from understanding such a complex concept as keeping a romantic relationship a secret from a distant family member.
Twilight galloped to the door and frantically pulled it open, not thinking in her panic about keeping Shining Armor in the dark that maybe she could stop and calm down so she didn't panic and accidentally reveal to Shining Armor her relationship with Pinkie Pie.
On the other side of the door, with bags under his eyes but a smile on his lips, was a stallion with a gleaming coat, and dark blue rock star hair for his mane and tail. He was wearing a red saddle with golden outline, a design Twilight recognized as being from a faraway foreign land. His Cutie Mark was a blue shield with a purple star embroidered into it and sparkles coming from the top of it. There was no mistaking it; this was Twilight's brother, Captain of the Royal Guard, Shining Armor.
“Twiley!” Shining Armor exclaimed, pulling Twilight into a tight hug. “It's been so long since I last saw you!”
“Good to see you too, B.B.B.F.F.” Twilight answered to the stallion, patting him on the back. She sighed. “Yeah . . . it has been a while . . .”
“Sorry, sis.” Shining apologized promptly. “It's just between the military, and going to meet all those foreign dignitaries, and my failing love life, I've haven’t had much time to write, so when I had the chance to come visit you in person for a few hours in the middle of the night, I jumped at the chance!”
Twilight chuckled, though her mind was still on how Shining would react if he found she was dating- dating a pony of the same gender, no less. She knew that it was taboo to some, and even though she had accepted that she was 'different' herself, the taboo still held strong, which was she couldn't bring herself to tell Spike, let alone her brother, who was in the military, for crying out loud!
“Twilight!” Pinkie called seductively from the kitchen, which brought embarrassing sensations of warmth to Twilight in her cheeks, chest, and other areas that she really didn't want Shining Armor to notice and ask questions.
“Hey, are you all right?” Shining Armor asked, pulling away from his sister. He placed a hoof on her cheek. “You feel really warm.”
The fact that Shining had noticed and asked a question – the very thing that Twilight did not wanting him doing- made Twilight blush furiously, making her cheek even warmer.
“Really warm.” Shining Armor said, for the sake of clarity. “Who's calling your name?”
“Eeh, a friend of mine.” Twilight answered, gently bringing his hoof off her cheek. “She's just staying the night.”
“Twilight? Twilight Sparkly?” Pinkie called, lumbering her drunken hooves into the foyer. Twilight grimaced at Pinkie choosing the absolutely worst time to reveal a new nickname of her's, right where a family member Twilight held in such high esteem could hear it.
“Is this your friend?” Shining Armor questioned, pointing a hoof at Pinkie and sounding worried. Him sounding worried made Twilight worry.
“Yes?” Twilight answered.
“I didn't realize your friend was an, ahem . . .” Shining cleared his throat. “A connoisseur.”
Twilight took in a deep breath and glared sharply. Just because Pinkie was sugar-buzzed the first time Shining met her, that didn't mean she had a problem. Pinkie did have plenty of problems, but sugar wasn't one of them. If anything, with her unnatural digestive system, sugar was the one thing Pinkie would never have to worry about.
“Yes.” Twilight answered, coming to Pinkie's defense. “Yes, she is a connoisseur. Is there a problem wit that?”
“Well, no . . . ” Shining answered awkwardly, surprised by Twilight's sudden defensiveness. “It's just that . . . that kind of thing leads down dark roads, Twiley. I wouldn't want her to take you down the drain with her, you know?”
Twilight took in a sharp breath and prepared to let loose on Shining, ready to rip him a new one for implying Pinkie Pie could be like that, but Pinkie wobbled over and got in between them.
“C'mere, here, Sparkly! Give us some sugar!” Pinkie reached her front legs out, but she mistakenly threw them over Shining Armor instead, and kissed him on the nose. After a second or two, Pinkie realized her mistake and pulled away.
“You're not Sparkly.” Pinkie said, bopping his nose like not being Twilight was a crime that he willingly committed. Pinkie turned her gaze over, and was delighted when she saw Twilight. “Ah!” Pinkie threw her legs over Twilight like she been intending to all along, causing Twilight to blush even more.
“Twiley?” Shining asked. “You're not . . . dating this mare, are you?”
“No! No!” Twilight lied, fighting to push Pinkie off before Pinkie's lips met hers and sapped her ability of conscious thought, which would prevent her from lying to Shining. “She's just buzzed, all right? Pinkie . . . get off.” Twilight growled warningly.
“But I thought you-” Pinkie became distraught, but Twilight shoved a hoof into her mouth.
“Pinkie Pie, I would like to talk with Shining Armor right now. Alone. We'll talk later, when you're not buzzed, okay?” Twilight patted Pinkie's cheek.
“Oh . . . all right, I guess.” Pinkie Pie trotted with her head held low to the kitchen, presumably to eat more sugar cubes and get even more buzzed.
“Eh-heh.” Twilight chuckled forcefully. “So! That was a little crazy! Why don't you come inside? It must be cold . . .”
Twilight moved to let her brother inside. Shining Armor was giving her a quizzical look, likely wondering what the deal with Pinkie Pie had been all about. Thankfully, he didn't press the matter, and he and Twilight then had a good time in company with each other until Shining had to leave again so he could be back to his base before anypony noticed he was gone.
“So, there was one time, with this cute Arabian mare . . .” Shining explained. “She was adorable. A dancer.”
“Oh!” Twilight squealed, her tail hanging off the side of the chair. “Do tell!” She suddenly had an a brief fantasy of Pinkie in a Saddle Arabian dress, dancing for her, before dismissing it. Twilight's tastes ran more towards Roaman.
“Yeah . . . ” Shining answered, before giving Twilight a suspicious eye. “You seem awfully interested . . . ”
Twilight gritted her teeth. “Just want to know what my Big Brother's been up to!”
“Right. Well, anyways, they still have a lot of old customs leftover there, so if I wanted to date her, I needed to get her father's permission. But, take one of my recruits, a farmer, an and overly curious chicken, and getting covered in chicken feed pretty much destroyed any chance I had of that.”
Twilight chuckled at the idea of her big brother smothered in farming materials, holding up a chicken in his hooves over his head. Having rescued it from harm, but because of how ridiculous he looked at the time, the dancer's father didn't let him date the dancer . . .
“What about you?” Shining asked her politely. “How are you doing on the romance scene?”
If Twilight had been drinking something, she would have done a spit-take, but as her mouth was empty of anything except her tongue and natural fluids, she instead did a “PFFB-TBBH!” and covered her mouth. She choked on air and cleared her throat. “W-why would you ask that, Shining Armor?”
“Well, you know . . .” Shining shrugged. “I just want to be sure you're socializing. Last I heard, you were being moved to Ponyville because you had trouble making friends. So, have you had trouble making any boyfriends, eh?”
“No, no . . . I . . . haven't been trying to go out on dates, really.” Twilight laughed nervously. “You know, studies and all . . . ”
“Twiley . . . ” Shining Armor said seriously. “You can't live your life all alone.”
“I'm not alone!” Twilight protested, standing up suddenly. “I have Spike!”
“Spike doesn't count.”
“I also have plenty of other friends here in Ponyville! Like Pinkie Pie! Rarity . . . Rainbow Dash . . . !” Twilight exclaimed.
Shining fiddled with his hooves nervously. “Well, if they're all like Pinkie Pie . . . ”
Twilight's jaw dropped.
“What did you just say?”
“If all your friends have problems with sugar like Pinkie Pie, Twilight, then maybe you were better off-” Shining found his words cut off by the sudden squeak of a door's hinges being move. He looked over his shoulder to see the library door was being kept open by Twilight's magic.
“I think it's time for you to leave.” Twilight warned him in a voice that made it quite clear that it wasn't a suggestion for him to go.
Shining's mouth hung agape, unable to comprehend what he had said that offended Twilight to the point of kicking him out. He was only trying to warn her about the kinds of things sugar did to ponies. Was that so wrong? “What did I say?”
“Pinkie Pie does not have a problem.” Twilight informed him, glaring daggers. “Nor do any of my friends have any problems that should keep me from being friends with them. If you cannot accept that maybe some ponies just like the occasional sugar binge, then you have no business in my home.”
Shining whistled. “Ooh, wow . . . I . . . ” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I'm sorry, Twiley, I . . . should have known better. You're smarter than to hang out with anypony you shouldn't be. I-I . . . I'm sorry.”
“Hmm . . . ” Twilight pursed her lips, mulling over whether she was going to forgive him right now. There was no question that she was, only, would it be right now, or later?
“I forgive you.” Twilight said at last. He had put some serious work into being able to get out here in Ponyville at all to see her. It would be a terrible shame if that work was all for naught.
The next morning, Twilight was overlooking the stove, stirring a pot of boiling oatmeal.
Twilight levitated the wooden she was using into the air and blew some air on the spoon, cooling it before she sampled its taste. Deeming it done, Twilight put the spoon back in and turned the heat off. Right in the nick of time, as well, as she heard the unsteady, tromping lumber of somepony recovering from a sugar buzz.
Twilight turned around to see Pinkie trotting into the room, her poofy mane thrown over the front of her face and covering her eyes, making her like some 80's diva.
“Hello.” Twilight greeted with detachment.
Pinkie made no effort to hide how bad she was feeling. There was no denying she had been in a serious stupor last night. She could only hope Twilight hadn't been as deeply affected, and that Twilight would have something to help through the morning before she to interact with anypony.
“How bad was it?”
“Not too bad.” Twilight answered, spooning up a bowl of oatmeal. “You did kiss my brother thinking he was me, though.”
Pinkie's eyes widened. “You have a brother!?”
Twilight stood silent for a minute before answering. “No.”
There was no need for Pinkie to know about Shining Armor at this point. It was stressful enough adjusting Spike to Twilight's new partner, but at least Twilight held some authority over him. She had no such control over Shining Armor, so if he decided to be stubborn or Celestia forbid, unaccepted of Pinkie, there was little she could. No, no... one male at a time, please.
“Do you have anything for me?” Pinkie asked, snail-crawling her way up the chair to the dining table.
“Yes.” Twilight answered, serving the bowl to Pinkie. “That's what the oatmeal is for.”
“Thanks.” Pinkie muttered, skewering her eyes shut as she tried to eat the oatmeal. “So . . . had any thoughts about what you want to do about Spike last night?
“Mmh.” Twilight grunted and shifted uncomfortably.
Up above in the stairs, over the wooden rails and through Twilight's bedroom, Spike was rolling around in his covers, trying to resist the natural urge to wake up. He didn't particularly feel like getting up today and dealing with more of Twilight's nonsense, flip-flopping her attitudes and tones depending on whether or not Pinkie Pie was in the room. Like a mood ring. Except a mood doesn't change somepony's mood, it changes color according to their mood, so perhaps a mood control ring? There were stranger things in the library's books.
Spike hadn't read any of them, but they were in there. Somewhere.
After flip-flopping his body back forth to the right and to the left for around the fifth time, Spike felt like something was wrong.
Twilight hadn't come for him and forcefully dragged him away from the blissful slumber of dream land. Twilight had yet to knock on the door, asking for Spike to get up, brush his teeth, and make her breakfast, or spend another morning shuffling through the wake of one of her late-night study binges.
Fearing for the very worst, Spike hopped out his basket like a spring and dashed towards the door, swinging it open with reckless abandon before making his way down the stairs, where he was both elated and confused to see Twilight tending to Pinkie, stroking her mane and feeding her oatmeal, as Pinkie's hooves became too shaky to hold any spoons by herself. It was jarring for a number of reasons. First was that the way things worked around the library, he made Twilight breakfast, not Twilight making everypony breakfast. Second was seeing the fact separated from the fiction, as Spike, like many other residents of Ponyville, figured Pinkie got all her energy by substituting a gallon-bag of sugar for breakfast, popping a hole in it and then simply pouring down her throat.
“Good morning, Spike.” Twilight waved to him, sounding bored with life itself. “Pinkie had some 'adult' sugar last night, so she isn't feeling too well. I made some oatmeal to help her feel better. You can have some, if you want...” Twilight turned her attention back to Pinkie.
“Um... all right.” Spike climbed back up the stairs, then climbed back down with some gems in claw. He poured himself a bowl of the oatmeal, then mixed the gems into it. He sat down at the table and started eating it merrily, though his joy was short-lived when he noticed the miserable state Pinkie Pie was in. Her poofy mane was all askew on her face – even by Pinkie standards, that is. Her face was drooping and practically grey.
Spike continued eating, wondering if he should perhaps inquire more into Pinkie's condition and offer to help, or if that would just lead to Twilight snapping viciously at him again. Figuring better safe than sorry, Spike though about what he might have to do today that would involve leaving the library where Twilight couldn't get to him. The spoon of oatmeal that was half-way in his mouth became lodged when he remembered yesterday, and that he had never gotten a chance to talk with Rarity properly. He heard what Twilight said about it being adult mare business, but she was being so aggressive and snappy, his inner rebellious child felt compelled to come to the fore and keep asking until he knew what it was, just so he could know why she was being insane over the subject.
“Spike?” Twilight asked when Spike didn't motion to chew the oatmeal in his mouth. “Are you okay?”
“Hmmg? Mph!” Spike gulped down his food “I'm gonna go to Rarity's, if that's okay.”
“All right...” Twilight mumbled to him, not at all suspicious of his motives. After all, Spike always liked going to visit Rarity. He did have a crush on her, and all that. “Have fun and don't get into any trouble.”
“I will!” Spike assured her, before realizing he misspoke. “I mean, I won't! No, no, I mean . . . I will have fun and I won't get into trouble! Bye!”
“Bye . . . come on, Pinkie.”
“What?” Pinkie's gurgling voice spoke.
“I'm going to hang you upside down while drinking water. It always works for me.”
“Fine.” Pinkie groaned, slumping against her chair. Spike watched in confusion as Twilight used her magic to lift Pinkie up into the air, much against her protesting groans of nausea.
Spike shrugged and shook his head. He vowed to himself he wouldn't be caught in a state like the one Pinkie was in, then headed out the door.
Spike frowned when he stepped outside. The town had been rendered dark from the grey clouds gracing it with their unwelcome, somber presence. From the three-mare team of weatherponies he saw flying right underneath them, the weather team was fixing to make it rain today. Spike hated rainy days. Yes, the plants need the water to photosynthesize, and the animals needed the water to drop into the lake and raise their level, but none of that mean Spike had to like it.
Briefly, Spike thought he heard the door open behind him, but when he turned to look, it was unmoved.
Spike held his claw over his head and tried to make his way to Rarity's Boutique before the rain set in, but when his foot stepped in something squishy, he looked down to see the dirt under him had turned muddy, and realized he had no chance of making it if he didn't bail. Raindrops beginning to pour on his head in a manner most frustrating, Spike cursed the fact he didn't take his coat with him, despite that there was no way for him to have known it was going to rain if he wasn't already outside.
Spike made a break for it, trying to get to the Boutique before the weather turned really hairy, and he banged mercilessly on the door, screaming to be let in.
“Rarity! It's Spike! Let me inside! Please!? It's really pouring out here!”
The door open, but when Spike looked inside, it was Sweetie Belle, not Rarity. Sweetie Belle looked at him conspicuously, like he was a member of an insane conspiracy that she had started before moving to let him inside.
“Thanks.” Spike uttered as Sweetie closed the door behind him and handed him a towel to dry off with. Sweetie Belle trotted imperiously away from him while he had the towel wrapped around himself.
“What's going on?” Spike asked when he noticed her leaving.
Sweetie Belle pursed her lips, mulling over something indecisively, before grimacing and pointing her hoof at the kitchen.
“Is something wrong with Rarity, or . . . your stove or something?” Spike inquired.
Sweetie Belle shook her head. “It's not that, it's . . . well . . . ” Sweetie Belle gestured for him to enter the room, and Spike initially got the feeling that something nasty was waiting in there for him, before realizing Sweetie Belle was unlikely to go and purposefully send him to his doom.
Purposefully, at least. She could very well be easily sending him to his doom completely on accident, unaware of the real danger of whatever was on the other side of the room. It would not be the first time that a member of the Cutie Mark Crusaders failed to realized the true danger of what they were dealing with.
Spike tip-toed into the room, not sure what to expect, but certain it was going to be unpleasant. Upon grabbing the door frame and reaching his head over to peer in, he found it was worse than any of they myriad monsters in his imagination. The stove was not bursting into flames, nor was there a monstrous snake loose in the kitchen. There wasn't a dragon that had shoved its huge head in through the wall, or even a loose Parasprite bug or some other impish sort of cretinous creature.
It was far worse than any of those things.
Rarity was having a fit over something.
“Honestly!” Rarity shrieked, applying more pressure than necessary to an unfortunate dish she was washing. “Of all the downtrodden, rag-tag, no-good . . .” Rarity directed her eye for detail onto the plate, spying an hitherto unseen speck of dirt on it. For a moment, she forgot her troubles and focused on scrubbing the plate to cleanliness, but as she soon as she put the now-clean dish on the counter, her ranting returned, unhampered. “Why, if I never have to see that brute again, it shall be too soon!”
“Uh, Rarity?” Spike stuttered out, nervously twiddling his fingers. He scrunched his shoulders when he heard the sound of a cooking pot being abused by Rarity's magic. Overcoming his anxiety, Spike walked up besides her, still trying to get her to answer.
“There are two ways you can tell a lady something!” Rarity continued like she didn't hear him, though she did give him a crazed look, more like she was looking through him than at him. “There is a polite way, and an impolite way, and that, my good sir, was an impolite way!”
“Rarity . . . ” Spike said again, reaching out a claw to apply some calming pressure on Rarity's shoulder, but Rarity moved before he could make contact.
“I do not toil away on your suit for hours on end, darling, constantly revising and revising my revising, just for you to show up and tell me you don't like it!” Rarity snarled at the air. “Honestly! Who does that?”
“I don't know . . . ” Spike quipped under his breath. “Diamond Dogs?”
Rarity turned her head towards him, noticing his presence at last. “Oh. Hello, Spike. I didn't see you there. Sorry for not being with you earlier, but I am terribly upset about something!”
“No! Really?” Spike deadpanned.
“Yes!” Rarity hissed at him, lowering her hooves and raising her tail through the air like a flagpole saying “Warning: Irritated Rarity Inbound!”. “I've been spending several late hours into this dress for a client, but when he came to pick it up, he said – I kid you not- he said 'I don't like it!'. Not only that, but he refused to reimburse me for the materials I wasted on him! The nerve!”
“Yeah, yeah.” Spike nodded his mindlessly in agreement, taking a moment to admire Rarity's natural beauty. “The nerve! What a brute.”
“Yes, indeed!” Rarity exclaimed, though she seemed just a tiny bit happier that she had someone agreeing with her every word. “Honestly, I mean, really, now, darling, if you don't like it, then that I means I made it for nothing! That I've sunk my funding into an investment that won't be repaid! Can you not see how that might put me a little on edge!? ARRG!” Rarity raised her front hooves to the air, then became aware of how badly her tantrum was escalating. Rarity placed her hooves back on the ground and took in a deep breath.
“So sorry for taking up your time, Spike.” Rarity apologized as she trotted from end one of the kitchen to another, using her magic to enchant the dishes into washing themselves. “I feel much better now. That was so un-lady like of mean, was it not?”
“No!” Spike insisted, eager to please Rarity by telling her whatever he though she might like to hear. “Not at all! It's perfectly all right for you to be angry at that jerk!”
“Yes.” Rarity admitted, watching as the charmed, soapy washcloth rubbed circles around a filthy mixing bowl. “Yes, I do!” Rarity's anger began to return, but she caught herself in time and took in another deep breath. “Ah, but I cannot waste my life away steaming over flaky clients. That is no way to live.” Rarity at last turned her lovely visage to Spike, focusing on him fully. “What can I do for you, Spike?”
“Well . . . ” Spike drawled the word out for a long time, stalling for how long it would take him to come up with best way to phrase his question without letting Rarity know he was asking about Twilight – or telling Rarity anything that Rarity might share with Twilight which would let Twilight know Spike had still been asking, despite her very implicit instructions. Then there was a knock on the door that deflated Spike of any hope he had of getting away with asking Rarity anything.
“Come in, darling!” Rarity called. “The door's unlocked!”
Spike took in a deep breath of his own, and was about to launch into a full-on recap of everything that had happened that would culminate in him asking Rarity what Twilight and Pinkie Pie were doing, when he heard a footstep, and then a voice.
“Hi, Rarity!”
Spike turned to see, to his chagrin, Twilight standing in the doorway, looking quite happy and perky. In a moment of deductive reasoning that was not normally his strong suit, he realized hearing the library door open behind him earlier was Twilight stepping out to follow him. Couldn't she trust him not to misbehave!?
Well . . . he was doing the very exact thing Twilight had told him not to do, so perhaps it wasn't unjustified that she would follow him, but still! He had a right to his space! Didn't he?
“Hello, Twilight.” Rarity said with bemusement. “What brings you here?”
“Just checking up on my number one assistant!” Twilight answered, dragging Spike into her front leg and giving him an affectionate noogie. “Making sure he stays out of trouble . . . enjoys himself with his friends . . . doesn't ask anything he's not supposed to ...” As she spoke, the gleaming smile Twilight gave never faltered, never left her face, but Spike caught the fading flash of a manic gleam in her that betrayed the true meaning in her words.
Spike pushed her leg off his shoulders and moved away from her, all the while grumbling.
“So, while you're both here, care for a drink?” Rarity politely offered, tending to her guests.
“That would be lovely.”
“No thanks.” Spike crossed his arms and huffed, much to Twilight's and Rarity's shock. Spike never turned down something Rarity offered, even if it was something as simple as a drink.
“Spike?” Rarity cooed. “Are you feeling all right?”
“No.” Spike answered briskly, exiting the room.
He cast a cold glare at Twilight as he walked, his green eyes burning with irritation at his foster-mother for underestimating him over and over. “I'm not a child . . . ”
“YES, YOU ARE!”
Twilight gritted her teeth when Rarity, Spike, and a curiosity-piqued Sweetie Belle all gathered 'round and gave her confused glares. Twilight began hyperventilating, worrying about her mask of control slipping further.
“I mean . . . ” Twilight mumbled, trying to salvage the situation. “You are, like it or not, still a baby dragon.”
“Well, I don't like it!” Spike snapped before turning around and leaving, making sure to slam Rarity's door as hard as possible on his way out.
“Darling, is everything all right?” Rarity asked Twilight. “You don't normally get so snappy with each other . . . ”
“No.” Twilight admitted, dropping to her haunches, a vacancy in her eyes. “No, everything is not all right.”
“Do you want to talk-”
“Could we have those drinks now?”
Rarity pursed her lips and frowned at Twilight's avoidance of talking about the situation. “Twilight, darling, you really can't just push something like this to the side and act like it didn't happen.”
“Well, that's what I'm doing.” Twilight informed her with a huff, crossing her front legs and turning away.
Rarity sighed and shook her head, but she recognized there was no getting through to Twilight on this matter. She left to get a glass for her guest while wondering how bad things were going to get before Twilight realized what she really needed to do to fix her's and Spike's relationship.
Outside, Spike stomped through the unpaved Ponyville roads, anger boiling over and consuming him. It's not his fault Twilight didn't trust him. How much of an immature, juvenile dragon whelp did Twilight think he was, really!?
Stomping his way through and casting dirty, crossed-eyed looks at anypony who so much as came within ten yards of him, Spike eventually realized that the downpour of rain had stopped. Looking up, he saw that skies had partially cleared, still cloudy, but not enough for it rain again anytime soon. While the sky may have been freed from the clouds' icy hold, the ground wasn't, as it was still a mucky mess barely fit for tromping through. That didn't deter him, though. In his anger, the nerves his feet totally ignored the mess of mud he was walking underneath.
Noticing there appeared to be smoke literally coming out of his ears, probably a result of dragon biology, Spike figured it was time to go and get himself something to eat to calm himself down. A gem would hit the spot right quick. But in his current state, like heck he was just gonna walk to some random shopkeeper and pay them bits- his hard-earned bits, from all the hours and hours HE had to spend cleaning up Twilight's messes for a snack, so he decided to go straight to the source.
He began walking out of town, passing Fluttershy on the way, who meekly asked if something was troubling, but he ignored her completely and continued on his way.
He was heading to the cavernous land just outside the edge of Ponyville where Rarity had once been abducted by Diamond Dogs, barbaric creatures like a cross between a troll and a canine, with only a quarter of brainpower of a troll. Large enough to be intimidating to most ponies, they were dimwitted and had a fondness for gems. They weren't very reasonable and rather aggressive, but Spike didn't let a petty worry like that stop him. The reason they had been in the area was because they were so many gems there, ripe for the taking.
As he got further away from his home, though, Spike had second thoughts, realizing he was getting far away from the ponies he cared about without telling them where he was going . . . but a brief flashback to the fake smile on Twilight's face and suddenly his doubts went away.
He continued on his way, stomping towards the proxy mines with anger in his eyes and hunger in his stomach, as well as apathy in his spleen. He wasn't quite sure how that last one worked, but he didn't question it.
Having made his way to the dirt plains, Spike parked his bottom on the floor and began scanning for signs. Odd bumps or conspicuously-placed rocks that to a trained jewel-hunting like himself, signaled the presence of rare, valuable, and most importantly, tasty gems. A problem being a gem-eating dragon in a pony community, the rarer a gem was, the more ponies and dragons valued it. Slight problem in that a dragon valued for tasting better than more common gems.
He saw a particularly suspicious looking little lump in the ground, a few feet away from where he sat. Getting up to his knees, Spike prepared to sprint towards it and start digging. As his little feet carried him over, he couldn't but wonder, speculate, and fantasize over what it might be. A garnet? A rare sapphire offshoot? Amethyst? Oooh . . . maybe even a pure diamond!
His claws went to work on the ground, scooping handfuls of dirt and gravel, tearing them away from him and his goal. When he was done, he saw an emerald poking out of the ground. Not quite the highest rarity of gems, but it looked well-aged, which was just as good as being.
Spike wiggled his fingers in anticipation, a little speck of drool already forming around his mouth. He reached in and plucked the emerald from the ground, and was about to plop it into his mouth when he heard a disturbing noise from behind him.
He turned around, and his eyes bugged out of his head at the sight of a Diamond Dog, leering its yellow eyes at him. From the expression on its face, it had been surprised to see him here, but that would subside quickly, and very soon, the trollish canine would attack its stone claws.
“Easy . . . ” Spike said, backing away. “I don't want any trouble, Mister Diamond Dog.” Spike noticed the Dog's eyes trailing elsewhere, and remembered the green emerald he had in his claw.
“You want this?” Spike offered the emerald up to the Diamond Dog, thinking missing out on an scout was worth not getting captured and abducted by the Dog itself to serve as a gem-hunting . . . well, dog.
“Grrr. Our hunting grounds now!” The Diamond Dog growled as it advanced on him, raising his lumbering claws.
Spike figured out what that meant. The Diamond Dogs, or at least this one, had claimed the area as its own personal hunting grounds. Whether that was for gems, prey, or both, Spike had no way of telling, but he could tell that simply offering the Dog his emerald wasn't going to work at all.
Spike raised his arms to shield himself from the coming blow, sure whatever the Diamond Dog's intent, it would no problem knocking him with the help of its rocky hide.
“Eeeh . . .” Spike whimpered in fear.
“GRR!” growled the Diamond Dog, claws raised to deliver the blow.
“Hey!”
Spike was just as surprised as the Diamond Dog to see Twilight Sparkle, standing defiantly some distance away.
“Leave him alone.” Twilight demanded.
“Hmm . . . ” The Diamond Dog narrowed its eyes, wondering where this little pony got off trying to give him an order. In his simple mind, he was bigger than her, and ergo, that meant he had more authority than she did. “Make me!” The Dog mocked her.
“You don't want me to do that.” Twilight warned him. “Trust me, you really don't, because I will.”
“Hmph!”
The Diamond Dog ignored her, unwisely not taking her threats seriously. Spike yelped and raised his arms again, while Twilight's horn lit with magical power.
Spike was ready to get sent flying backwards from the force of the Diamond Dog's strike and closed his eyes, but when nothing happened for minutes, he opened them to see the Diamond Dog was stuck, a pile of rocks burying its hind leg and keeping it from moving. Spike took a moment to silently regard the sight of the Dog futilely trying to pry his leg of the pile.
“Come on! That won't hold him forever!” Twilight demanded of Spike. She removed his ability to decide whether or not he was going to obey by telekinetically levitating him up into the and lowering him onto her back. Twilight turned around and galloped towards town.
Then it started raining again, soaking them.
“Oh come on.” Twilight sighed in exasperation as her wet mane was swung forward in front of her face. “Really? Right now?”
“Well . . . ” Spike clicked his tongue. “At least it can't get any w-”
“Do not finish that sentence.”
“Okay . . . ”
Now that they were far enough from the Diamond Dog that the beast couldn't have hunted them down by the it got free of the rocks, Twilight quit galloped and relaxed her legs, slowing her pace to a trot while Spike clung uncomfortably to her neck.
There was a question brought to mind, one that would be far from easy for him to ask her. He took in a deep breath, shelving his pride. He had left because he felt bitter about her recent treatment of him, but she had rescued him from a terrible fate.
“Twilight? Why did you come rescue me?”
Twilight stopped in her tracks, dead as a ghost.
“What do you mean? You're still my assistant, and even if we are on . . . tense terms right now, that doesn't mean I can just let you go and get foalnapped by Diamond Dogs when everypony tells me no pony's seen you around town!”
“Hmm.” Spike turned silently, figuring perhaps that Twilight was right about that. As irritating as it was having Twilight keep up all this secrecy and obfuscation of the truth, that didn't mean she could just forsake her morals and leave him to Diamond Dogs... or whatever even worse fate that cruel nature might have seen fit to lay upon him.
“Hey . . . ” Spike trailed his claws soothingly across her neck, “does this mean you'll tell me what's going on between you and Pinkie now?”
Twilight closed her eyes, and Spike could tell she was on the verge of crying.
“N-no.” Twilight choked out. “I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Spike. You're going to know. You have to know. She- Pinkie- My Pinkie . . . she's part of my life now, and that means she'll be part of yours, too, but I . . . I just can't tell you. I-I'm not ready, Spike . . . ”
Twilight, overwhelmed by the strain of emotions running loose around inside like the torrential aftermath of a dam being broken, fell to her knees and began to cry softly into the ground. Spike didn't understand half of what she said, but he stroked her mane as softly and reassuringly as he could nonetheless, wishing silently to himself that everything would just be better . . .
Dragon's Breath: Igniting
Dragon's Breath: Igniting
Spike nervously clung to Twilight's neck as she trotted them away from the diamond fields and back towards their home. He thought about everything that happened this past week. Twilight's apology sundae that one morning, him giving Sweetie a black eye, the pie and attempted spanking, him giving Sweetie her own sundae, and Twilight setting it up to look Spike had gotten Rarity her business so Rarity would forgive him, and Twilight's impulsive, irrational, distrustful behavior towards him . . .
Twilight was trotting very slowly, so it was already dark by the time their house became visible in the horizon.
“Twilight?” Spike asked quietly. He was going to try asking just one more time.
“Yes, Spike?” Twilight answered with concern.
“Will you tell me what's going on between you and Pinkie Pie tomorrow?”
Twilight froze into a stop. She turned her neck to face him, her lips turned down with regret. Then she perked her up and formed a nervous smile.
“Soon, Spike.” Twilight leaned forward and gave him a kiss on his forehead. Spike blushed and smiled back.
“Remember, you said you would spend all day with me tomorrow!” Spike reminded her.
“I know, I know. I will. I promise. I promised .” Twilight hissed the last word, more for her benefit than Spike's.
They arrived back to the library, where Pinkie was standing outside the open front door, light coming from the library's windows. It was obvious she was fretting over their well-being for the past hours.
“Where were you!?” Pinkie demanded like a mother whose child had gone off to play in the forest. “Do you have any idea how worried sick I've been for the last few hours!?”
“Sweetie,” Twilight said, sounding like a whipped husband. “We're fine.” She slid Spike off her haunch and onto the ground. “Just had a run-in with a Diamond Dog, that's all.”
Pinkie gasped loudly. “A Diamond Dog!? Are you hurt!? Oh, please for the love of-”
“Pinkie, we're fine. ” Twilight growled. “Now would you please move so we can get inside?”
Pinkie showed that she wanted to continue harping on, but she thought better of it and moved aside. Twilight nudged Spike inside, but stopped to give Pinkie a look before she went in herself. Pinkie shook her head and scoffed before following them, and she was quite startled at what she found.
Twilight was waiting for her, holding up two hangers to the side of her with her magic. On each hangar were the dresses they had worn a few weeks ago on that fateful day where Twilight finally confessed her love to Pinkie with a messy make-out session. The dress on the right was Twilight's; an elegant, yet simple black dress that ended in a ruffle skirt, with a full moon and stars cut over the part that went over her Cutie Mark.
The other was Pinkie's, which Rarity had made – she made both of them, actually, but Rarity had made Pinkie's as scant as possible while still being elegant. Trashy and classy. It had several see-through tarps flowing over the black, tight skirt of it, with a plastic collar that extended way up past the neck, and teasing alternating stripes in the chest area.
“Remember these?” Twilight asked in a weird mix of nostalgia and seduction, using her magic to wiggle both hangars, the dresses flapping.
“Yeah?” Pinkie asked, tilting her head.
“Well, I have to spend all day with Spike tomorrow, so I sent him to bed hoping we could have some real . . . fun with each other.” Twilight explained with glee, crossing the dresses over her chest. “What do you say?”
In truth, Pinkie was beginning to feel uncomfortable with how . . . candid Twilight was being, but she didn't have in her to say no. “Um . . . all right. What do you want to do?”
“First, put this on!” Twilight answered, levitating the black dress toward Pinkie.
“Okay . . .” Pinkie said, shyly putting the dress to her chest. She looked up at Twilight, who was staring intently with her tail under her chin.
“Wha- in front of you!?” Pinkie exclaimed.
“Yes.” Twilight replied flirtatiously, beginning to sultrily ooze her way into her dress. “In front of me . . . hmmmm . . .” Twilight added a small moan to tease Pinkie as she bit the sleeve of her dress and suggestively pulled it across her leg.
Pinkie's cheeks were blushing so hard, Pinkie thought they might light on fire. Stuttering and flustered, she started to make her way into the black dress, with all its convoluted straps and laces.
“All right.” Pinkie said when she was fully in the dress, even though the backs of her teeth were wiggling. “Now what?”
“Now we get on the couch . . .” Twilight gestured to the couch. “And cuddle.”
“Just . . . cuddle?” Pinkie asked, somewhat relieved.
“Yes.” Twilight answered. “Why?” Twilight lost her composure and began babbling rapidly. “I'm-I'm sorry, I was going to work our way up to the really naughty stuff, like, slowly, you know? So that we could both adjust, but if I'm moving too slow for you I'd be happy to turn the heat up and, like-”
Pinkie put her hoof on Twilight's mouth.
“Cuddling will be just fine, Twilight. ”
Twilight wiped her forehead. “Whew! For a second there, I thought we might have to . . . you know . . . so we could this fire going, but I'm fine with just cuddling too.”
They made their way over to the couch, Twilight getting on first and then Pinkie climbing on top of her. Pinkie shifted so they would be both comfortable, but her dress had so many parts on it that it was hard to moving without jabbing something into her body.
“Hmm hhmm.” Twilight chuckled once they were fully adjusted.
“Hmm hmm?” Pinkie responded, not sure what to think.
“This is nice .” Twilight murmured, burying her head into Pinkie's chest. “No Spike, no Owloyicous, none of our friends to bother us.”
“Uh-huh!” Pinkie agreed.
“Hmmm . . .” Twilight purred. Her horn sparkled, and all the lights in the room dimmed.
Pinkie shifted her head back and forth. “Uh, Twilight? What are you doing?”
“Just teasing!” Twilight deflected innocently, before reaching down and licking Pinkie's neck, before reaching up and nipping her ear.
“Eh-heh.” Pinkie grinned and pretended to be okay with it, even though she really wasn't.
“Mmh.” Twilight moaned, looking into Pinkie's eyes with a half-lidded expression. “Well, I'm done for the night, then. If you need me, I'll be in the bedroom.” Twilight lifted up, turned around, and flick her tail to Pinkie's nose before jumping off the couch.
Pinkie sat upright and watched Twilight saunter away, wriggling her now-itchy nose.
Twilight was sending a clear message with her body. She was being very flirty and teasing, trying to tell Pinkie, “You want this, but you can't have it.”
Pinkie, however, felt her problem was just the opposite of that expression:
She had “this,” but she did not want it.
“Mmm.” Spike grunted when he first awoke the next morning. He actually had a fairly good dream last night of him wooing Rarity and sweeping off her hooves at a formal ball.
“AH!” Spike screamed and fumbled out of his basket, tossing his blanket. Twilight was usually in her bed, not next to his.
“Well, good morning to you too.” Twilight said with her usual dryness.
“What are you doing?” Spike asked.
“I told I would spend the whole day with you.” Twilight reminded him. It was only when Twilight actively gestured to it that Spike there was a tray next to his basket.
“Some sapphire pancakes and an emerald smoothie. Your favorites.” Twilight told him. “Come on.”
Spike looked at the breakfast tray, before looking over his shoulder at Twilight's bed. He was expecting to see Pinkie Pie snoozing under the covers, but was surprised when she wasn't.
“Uh . . . where's Pinkie?”
Twilight giggled. “Spike, this day is about you. Not Pinkie. Not myself. You.” Twilight crossed her front hooves. “I . . . I realize I haven't treated you fairly these last few days, and I want to make it up to you.” Twilight pushed the tray towards him.
“Now come on. Eat. I have a big day planned ahead for us, down to the last detail.” Twilight produced a piece of paper. “After you eat, we're going to the park, and then we'll stop for ice cream. Then we'll go that nice restaurant on the other side of town and have a nice dinner.”
Hmm. Spike thought as he took the tray and began to eat. Leave it to Twilight to schedule everything about a pleasant day.
Twilight left the room and came back with a bowl of cereal for herself.
Spike thought he would be glad that this day was to be all about him, but he started worrying about Pinkie Pie. She and Twilight had been so close these last few days. How could Twilight just let her go like that? Either she hadn't really, and Pinkie was still around, or Twilight had somehow severed her tie, or Twilight had exhibited an incredibly strong will so she could really this day “Spike's Day.”
After they finished eating, there was a knock on the door.
“I wonder who that could be.” Twilight said, giving Spike a confused look. Twilight went towards the door of the bedroom, then stopped before turning back to look at Spike.
“Come on.” Twilight levitated him with her magic onto her back before running down to the foyer and opening the library door.
Rainbow Dash and Applejack were there, wearing baseball helmets on their heads. Rainbow Dash was chewing and blowing bubblegum, while Applejack had a leather glove.
“Hey, Twi.” Applejack greeted while grimacing as Dash rudely blew and popped a bubble, “tha rest of tha gals and Ah are gonna play a game of ball. You in?”
“Oh, I don't know . . .” Twilight muttered, looking at Spike. “I had a pretty big day planned with Spike, and I'm not much of an athlete.”
“Aww, come on, Twi. Y'all don't have to be.” Applejack encouraged.
“Still . . .”
“Oh, can we, please?” Spike pleaded, hugging Twilight's neck. “It's been so long since I could play sports with other boys! Pleeeease?”
“Hmm. All right, fine, but that means we don't go walk in the park later. Are you okay with that?”
“Uhh . . . can we still stop for ice cream?”
“Yes.”
“Then I'm good!” Spike bucked around in excitement, “Let's go!” Twilight grunted and gave him a glare, not appreciating his shaky motions on her back. “Oh, uh, sorry.”
Applejack and Rainbow brought Twilight and Spike to a local, public baseball arena, open to the public all week for them to host their non-regional games of baseball. Applejack brought Twilight and Spike both appropriate attire for baseball, with blue decals. Applejack gave Twilight an abbreviated list of the rules and how to play along the way.
As they made their way inside, Twilight noticed the baseball outfit accentuated Applejack's muscular figure quite well. She blushed a little when she realized she had made their observation.
“Eh, you okay, Twi?” Applejack asked, taking notice.
“Fine.” Twilight assured her.
When they finally made it to the actual playing field, Twilight took stock of her surroundings, noticing Rarity, Fluttershy and . . . Pinkie Pie were all there, all dressed up to play ball.
Twilight made an embarrassed face when she saw Pinkie, and Pinkie did the same when she saw Twilight. Spike raised his eyebrow, prompting Twilight to wrap her tail around him and nuzzle his cheek.
“Shore yer okay, Twi?” Applejack asked again. “Yer acting' awful funny . . .”
“Funny?” Twilight asked. “Who's funny? I'm not funny. You're funny, Applejack. I'm just telling Spike that this day is still all about him. That's not funny at all. You're funny, Applejack.”
“Uhhh . . .” Applejack stammered, looking on blankly. “Y'all said Ah was funny twice.”
“Don't worry about it.” Spike assured Applejack. “She's just been a little frazzled lately.”
“Anythang Ah can do tah help?”
Spike looked at the ground, then Twilight, whose eyes looked frosted over with worry about what he might say.
“Nah.” Spike answered to Applejack while still looking at Twilight. “I'm . . . pretty sure this is something she's gotta do for herself.”
“Wut 'bout tha' magic of friendship an' all that?”
“Like, oh my gosh!” Twilight said, putting on a ridiculous valley girl accent to detract from the conversation and wobbling onto the field. “I, like, never had a chance to play baseball while in Canterlot! I am, like, sooo eager to learn how!”
“Hmm.” Applejack huffed before looking at Spike. “Y'all know sumthang 'bout why she's actin' so strange?”
“Uhh . . . let's play ball!” Spike hurried over to a corner of the field, leaving Applejack alone to mutter and speculate about Twilight and himself.
“All right!” Rainbow Dash declared, flying up into the air. She gagged like she was hocking a loogie, before spitting out her gum like a bullet into the trash can in the stands. “Yeah!” Dash pumped her hoof. “Bull's-eye!”
“How brutish!” Rarity squealed.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Dash blew Rarity's complaint off. “Leeeet's play ball!”
The game initially started off without a hitch, as Pinkie stepped to the plate and threw a ball at Applejack, who was batting. Applejack swung and hit the ball like a truck, sending it flying. Rarity and Twilight sped off, trying to get the ball before Pinkie and Dash did.
“I got it! I got it!” Twilight declared.
“Uggh, I'm starting to get all sweaty and dusty!” Rarity complained, but judging from her gallop, she was still focused on her task.
“I will not lose at a sport to Twilight Sparkle!” Rainbow roared.
“Dash! That's mean!” Pinkie protested, bouncing along.
“Pinkie, watch out!” Spike shouted, noticing that on their current courses, Pinkie and Twilight were going to collide right into each other.
“WAAH!”
“OOF!
“Waah?” Applejack questioned.
“Interesting choice of exclamation . . .” Rarity muttered.
“Well, it is Pinkie.”
“Aaagh. Hrmf. Oof.” Twilight mumbled, rubbing her head as she tried to pull herself from the collision. She looked down to see Pinkie underneath her. Instantly,her tail shot straight up and her cheeks went from their normal lavender to red.
Applejack and Rarity gossiped.
“Hey, does it look like she's having a . . .”
“Why, yes, yes it does!”
Twilight covered her mouth with her hoof. Realizing she had gotten the ball from the collision, she bolted off Pinkie towards Spike, dropping in his claw. Spike was relieved and embarrassed at the same time.
“Aw, gee, Twi . . . I really appreciate that you would leave Pinkie to get to me so fast.” Spike thanked her, causing Twilight to smile softly.
“But . . . I'm on the other team.”
Twilight's blush returned. She looked around to see everypony else giving her odd looks. Except for Fluttershy, who was quivering on the ground with her hooves over her head.
“Eh-heh.” Twilight tried to laugh it off. “Sorry, everypony. Still learning the rules.” She trotted away from Spike, playfully using her tail to swat the ball out of his hand. “Round two?”
Going to round two involved shifting the players' position, causing Fluttershy to be up to bat while Spike got to be pitcher. Rainbow Dash was now serving umpire.
“Oh my.” Fluttershy mumbled. “Um, please don't throw it too hard, Spike . . . eep!” Fluttershy held her wings out in surrender, the baseball bat gripped precariously in her left one.
Spike sighed. He raised up his arm and spun it, giving Fluttershy the ol' Charlie Brown throw. When the ball launched from his hand, Fluttershy squealed, dropping her bat and hitting the dirt. The ball smacked straight into Dash's hoof.
“Strike one!” Dash counted off, banging the ball in her hooves before tossing it back to Spike. “Fluttershy, get up.”
“Oh my . . . I-I'm sorry.” Fluttershy muttered. “I'll do better next time.” Fluttershy picked the bat up in her wing.
Spike rolled his eyes before tossing the ball again.
“Eeeh . . . AAH!” Fluttershy squeaked before swinging the bat around in a blind panic. Points for trying, but she still missed.
“Strike two!” Dash counted, again tossing the ball to Spike. “Come on, Fluttershy. Pick up the pace!”
“Oh my. I wouldn't want to run too fast. What if I hit my head on something?” Fluttershy questioned. Dash scoffed.
Spike really didn't think the outcome would be any different, but he threw the ball again. Fluttershy didn't even try, just letting it fly right into Dash's glove.
“Strike three!”
“Does that mean I'm out?”
“Yup.”
“Good.” Fluttershy snarled, tossing her helmet and bat to the ground and stomping off. Dash shook her head.
“Do the rest of us wanna keep playing?” Dash asked. There were agreements and encouragements all around. “Excellent! Not gonna let Fluttershy's lack of a spine ruin our fun, huh guys?”
“Yer insults might . . . “ Applejack whispered softly. Twilight looked to her before turning away.
Gosh . . . Twilight thought to herself. We sure have a lot of growing to do. . .
“Aw man, that was fun, Twilight!” Spike cheered as everypony trotted out of the establishment. Spike, in his joy, stood up on his tail and spun around. “We should do it more often.”
“Yes.” Twilight agreed. “Yes, we should.”
“Aww yeah!” Spike added, pumping his fist through the air. “I can't wait to do it again!”
“It was fun, but I think I can hold myself for awhile.” Twilight said. “Now, I'm sure after all that running and work,” Twilight put her hoof on Spike's head, giving him a slight noogie, “my little baby dragon would like some ice cream to chill off some of that sweat, huh?”
“Yeah!” Spike expressed his enthusiasm for the idea. But he was slightly disheartened by Twilight referring to him as a “little baby” dragon.
They made their way to the ice cream stand near the edge of the park, and Twilight ordered one vanilla scoop for herself a double-scoop of chocolate with sprinkles.
“Awesome!” Spike declared as he admired the salivating scoop of chocolate before him in his claw. Twilight guided him to a nearby bench, where they sat as they licked their ice creams.
“Ha, this is shaping up to be the best day ever!” Spike said as he waddled in his seat.
“Yeah, yeah. I guess it is.” Twilight agreed with a hint of sarcasm. “I guess it is . . .” she said sadly, resting her face in her hoof.
“Aww.” Spike cooed. “What's wrong?”
“Just . . . thinking.” Twilight said, shaking her head back and forth.
“About Pinkie?” Spike asked.
“Yes. And about you. Both of you.”
“What's wrong, Twi?” Spike looked up at her. “Come on.” He tugged at her wither. “You can tell me.”
Twilight looked down at him, the way a mother might look at her child when asked about something children aren't supposed to know about.
“Eat your ice cream, Spike.” Twilight told him, the way a mother task a child so they'll stop asking about whatever is that's making her uncomfortable.
“Okay . . . but sooner or later, you'll have to tell me, Twilight.” Spike warned her.
“No, Spike, I don't!” Twilight snapped at him.
Whoa, Spike thought to himself, where did that come from?
“We have gone through the last week perfectly fine without me telling you ANYTHING, and it will do no harm to keep it that wa- oh, who I am kidding?” Twilight's anger died as quickly was it came to life, and she smacked a hoof against her face. “This last few days have horrible for you, and trust me, they weren't exactly a picnic for me either.”
“You want to talk about it?” Spike encouraged, almost pleaded, even.
“No. . . but I have to. Eventually.” Twilight said. “Now eat your ice cream.” Twilight took a lick of her own ice cream.
They finished their ice cream in silence and then remained on the bench, as dinner was still a few hours away. Spike continued to pry and try to get Twilight to open up about the omnipresent problems she was having, but she continued to rebuff him, switching from “violently defensive and accusatory” to “silently remorseful” like a light switch. It earned them more than a few stares from passers-by, some parents even covering their foals' eyes to shield them from the argument.
As it got closer to dusk, by complete coincidence, Fluttershy was one of those passers-by who noticed them shouting at each other.
“Why can't you tell me what's wrong?”
“You're too young! You won't understand!”
“Make me understand, Twilight! Help me understand!”
“Oh, um . . . excuse me?” Fluttershy spoke, her soft voice somehow piercing over their raised ones like a thin ninja weapon.
“Oh!” Twilight and Spike exclaimed in unison, turning away from each other towards Fluttershy. “Yes, Fluttershy? What is it?”
“Well, I-I noticed you two were shouting at each other, and I-I was h-hoping I might be, um, able to get you to stop?”
Twilight and Spike exchanged glances.
“Well, mission successful.” Twilight said, throwing her hoof through the air. “You can leave now.”
“Oh, um, well . . .” Fluttershy tilted her head, flipping her mane over her eyes. “Um, actually, could I maybe, um, bring somepony else along to help you?”
Twilight heaved a deep sigh, wiping her brow. “That would be lovely, Fluttershy.”
“Okay.” Fluttershy turned to leave, but doubled-back. “Um, don't say anything to each other until I get back, okay?” Fluttershy took off.
Twilight noticed the changes in the sky. “It's getting dark . . . it'll be time for dinner soon. Are we still on for that date?”
“Didn't Fluttershy tell us not to talk to each other?” Spike asked bitterly, crossing his arms.
“Grow up, Spike. No pony actually does what you tell them to do.” Twilight shot back, equally bitter. She sighed, the voices in her head clearly sending her contradictory signals. “You're right, Spike. You're right. But, seriously, do you still want to go to dinner after that?”
“Yeah.” Spike admitted quietly. “I do.”
Fluttershy returned, visibly more worried than when she had left. “Well, that's strange. I went to Pinkie Pie and explained about the argument, and she was eager to come and help – she's good about this sort of thing, you see – but the second I mentioned your names, she went back inside.”
“I wonder why that could be.” Spike smugly quipped, smirking. Twilight made an odd noise that was like a mix between a disappointed sigh and an angry growl, like she couldn't decide which noise she wanted to make.
“Well, um . . . have a nice night, you two.” Fluttershy wished them, trotting down the sidewalk away from their bench.
Twilight gazed to the sky again, her lips pursing as she mulled over the colors in the sky.
“Come on.” Twilight patted the side of bench, getting up. “Let's go eat a real meal.”
On their way there, Twilight swung them by Rarity's place to borrow a dress for herself and a suit for Spike. Rarity told them to wait while she rummaged through the back closet. “You just wait right there, darlings.” Rarity had told them.
“Why do we have to get all dressed up all fancy, Twilight?” Spike questioned. He didn't like having to dress up.
“Because, Spike, this is a classy, fancy restaurant.” Twilight explained. “Like in Canterlot. It has very high standards when it comes to the clientele they'll serve. If we don't show looking like classy ponies, they'll turn us away at the door.”
“Hang on, darlings!” Rarity called from the other room. “I'm,” -there was a clatter- “struggling to find something!”
Spike gazed over to the closet where Rarity was scavenging for something. He nervously rubbed his fingers together. Twilight now had her chance to notice something was bugging him, rather him or Applejack or Rarity noticing something was bothering her.
“What's wrong?” Twilight asked, nuzzling the back of his neck.
“Well, given that thing that happened with Sweetie Belle,” Spike rubbed the back of his neck, “do you think I still have a shot with her?”
Twilight, to Spike's complete and utter surprise, smiled. Usually when he brought up his crush on Rarity, she either mocked him or gently discouraged him.
“Spike, you might not believe this, but I know what you're going through.”
“You're right. I don't believe it.”
“Haha. Very funny, but listen to me. I know what's it like to be . . . uncertain about telling the pony you love your feelings for her. I know what's like to be scared, to be afraid . . . to be deathly afraid, but you know what I did?”
“What?”
“I went through it, and I told her- HIM. And you know what? Everything worked out just fine.”
Twilight suddenly frowned, looking at him intensely.
“Well, almost everything.” She said sadly, lovingly running her hoof through his head scales the way a mother runs their through hoof their child's hair. “Still though, what's . . . “ Twilight seemed to refocus her gaze on him again. “What's the harm?”
Spike pursed his lips. “Well, in that case, I guess-”
“Done!” Rarity declared, running into the room with a tuxedo and red evening gown held high with her magic. “A dress for the lady and a suit for the dashing young man.”
Spike's heart skipped a beat. Maybe two.
Rarity levitated the outfits into their grasps, Spike tightly clutching at the suit in his hand.
“Oh, gee, Rarity, thanks.” Spike threw the suit over his shoulder. “But, uh, since we're here, could I ask you a question?”
“Of course, darling. What is it?”
“Well-”
“Not while I'm here, Casanova.” Twilight cut off him, dragging him out the door. “When you're alone.”
“I'll, um, come back later!” Spike assured Rarity, who was worriedly putting a hoof on her chin. “Twilight and me have things to do!”
“”Twilight and I”, Darling.”
Oh come on, really? Spike grumbled in his head. Now Rarity's onto me for doing it too? Who's next, Fluttershy? Applejack?
The two of them got dressed in Rarity's loans, and Twilight let Spike ride on her back as she cantered to the restaurant where she and Pinkie had their initial “date.”
Twilight entered the building and trotted to the register. “Table for two, please. One adult mare, one baby dragon.” She told the attendant, a grey stallion in a red shirt and black pants.
Spike gave her a kick in the side. Twilight glared over her shoulder at him.
“With a booster seat.” Twilight dryly added.
“We don't have those here, ma'am.” The attendant informed her.
“Never mind, then.”
“This way, please.” The attendant pulled out a pen and two menus and guided them to an empty table with exactly two seats. It looked like a couple's table.
“A waiter will be with you shortly.” The attendant told them as he dropped the menus. He left, returning to his stand and resuming his . . . well, attendance.
“So, what do you want to eat, Spike?”
“Oh, I don't know.” Spike said idly, kicking his legs under the table to pass the time. “Do they have anything with gems?”
“I don't think they have gems here, but I'll ask.”
Spike briefly skimmed through his menu a little bit before plopping it down. Twilight did the same.
Twilight put her hooves together happily and smiled at him. “This is nice, isn't it, Spike?”
“Yeah.” Spike admitted. “I guess it is.”
Spike surveyed his surroundings. There were so many ponies around, all clad in elegant, classy clothing.
Saaay . . . Spike wondered to himself. This would be a perfect time to pop Twilight with a heavy question. The need to keep her composure in such a high-class establishment would surely keep her from just shutting down and screaming at him like she did every time he tried to ask.
“Hey, Twilight?” Spike spoke.
“Yes, Spike?”
“What's going on between you and Pinkie?” Spike asked. “Like, what's really going on, with you?”
Twilight gave him another sad look. That was what, the third or fourth one this night alone?
“I'm sorry, Spike. I can't tell you. I just . . . can't.”
“Well, why not?” Spike demanded, slamming his fists onto the table.
“Spike, please, you're going to cause a scene.” At first, Spike thought she was just deflecting like she always did, but she took in a deep breath and began to talk.
“A while back ago,” Twilight started, resting her hooves on the table. “I started getting these feelings for somepony. I didn't know what they were or how they got into me, I just knew they were in there. And they were there to stay. I got so afraid and excited whenever they were around. My skin would light on fire when they touched me, and my heart would freeze.”
Spike thought about his crush on Rarity and tried to apply the same description, but he really couldn't. He didn't feel that way about Rarity at all, despite his undeniable love for her.
“And there was a . . . certain something about this pony.” Twilight added. “That I thought it would make it shameful for me if anypony knew I was in love with them. So I kept it hidden. I started coming up with controls, tricks. Illusions. Lies. Sometimes to myself. I put on a mask. A facade. On and that facade was another mask, and top of that mask was another facade.”
Spike didn't know what facade meant, but he could ask later.
“So then, when I finally told my somepony how I felt about them, it . . . wasn't exactly as planned.” Twilight rubbed the back of her neck. “But it all worked out in the end. Despite that, though, I still can't bring myself to admit it. Not to you, not to Applejack, not to Rarity. Not even to my own family, for Celestia's sake!”
“And this past week, every time I told you it was your fault, that you weren't ready, it was me. Are you ready to hear about this kind of thing, Spike? I don't know. And at this point, I don't even care anymore. It was never your fault. The fault is all mine.”
“It's not that you're not ready to hear it. It's that I wasn't ready to tell it. I'm still not. But you need to know. It's starting to affect you. It's going to affect you in the future, and it could change so much.”
A waiter approached their table.
“Shall we eat?”
Sometime later, they had finished their wonderful means – Twilight had some alfredo pasta, just like the last time she was here, while Spike had a hay roast with emeralds in it. (Spike didn't know, but Twilight had bribed the waiter to add whatever gems were handy to the meal)
Spike rubbed his fully belly for a bit before refocusing his gaze on Twilight.
“Well, Twi . . . this has been great fun, and I did have a really good time . . . and I appreciate you telling me it's not really my fault . . .”
“But?” Twilight prodded him.
“I've been thinking about what you said earlier.” Spike explained. “While we're at Rarity's? And, well . . . I kinda wanna give it a shot.”
“Go for it.” Twilight told him, laying on the back of her chair.
“But . . . weren't you going to spend all day with me?”
“Eh.” Twilight shrugged. “This day was supposed to be about you, Spike. If you want to try it with Rarity, I won't stop you . . . this time. And besides, the day's technically over.”
“Really?” Spike asked. “You won't stop me?”
“Yes, really. Go get 'em, tiger.” Twilight pumped her hoof. “I believe in you. You can do it.”
Twilight's reassurance made Spike feel really good about himself, and sure he could do it.
“I can do it.” Spike said to himself. The more he said, the more he believed it. “I can do this!” Spike was about to hop of his chair when Twilight stopped him.
“But . . . if you're going to try to put the moves on your love, I hope you won't object to me putting the moves on mine?” Twilight added.
“No problem!” Spike said without really thinking about it, giving her a salute as he dashed out the restaurant.
Twilight covered her mouth with her hooves and giggled. “Teehee! Wow . . . I feel so much better now that's off my chest.” She started scooting out of her seat. “I really was going to spend the day with Spike, but now I can take my relationship with Pinkie Pie to the next level up!”
Back at the Boutique, Spike was about to dash through the door when he stopped and collected himself.
Remember, Spike. Rarity likes a calm, respectful colt.
Spike slowed his pace and sauntered inside like he was the top cat on the block.
“Rarity?” Spike called, making his voice as low and husky as he could manage.
“Spike?” Rarity answered, coming to greet him. “Weren't you with Twilight for something?”
“That's taken care of.” Spike said smoothly. He rubbed his knuckles against his tuxedo and examined them. “Twilight gave me permission to come see you.”
Quick, a voice in Spike's head that sounded like Twilight, think of a compliment!
“Gosh, Rarity, you're so beautiful?” Spike suggested to the voice.
No! Don't just chunk it! Ease into the conversation. Say something like . . .
“Thanks again for the tux.” Spike said out loud, sauntering towards her. She stepped backwards, as in fright. Spike pulled on the tux's collar. “It really fits my figure, don't you think?”
Perfect. The Twilight-Voice complimented him. Smooth.
Spike noticed that was the very first time he heard Twilight's voice tell him he was smooth about something without being sarcastic.
“Goodness, Spike. I've never seen so you . . . confident before.” Rarity muttered, putting a hoof on her chin. “So much swagger!”
“Oh!” Spike exclaimed, thinking that instead of inviting Rarity in with his new attitude, he actually had driven her away. “Do you not like it?”
Rarity giggled. “Well, that remains to be seen, actually.” Rarity gave him a suggestive fluttering of the eyebrows.
“Shall we away?” Spike said, offering his hand.
Rarity giggled uncontrollably. “You-you said “Shall we away”! So fancy! What a proper gentlecolt! We shall!” Rarity wrapped her hoof around his claw.
Did you hear that? Spike thought. She called me a gentlecolt!
Easy, boy. Twilight-Voice warned him. We've only got her hooked. Now we need to reel her in.
Meanwhile, back at the library, Twilight was laying on the couch again, in her svelte blackish grey dress again, posed seductively against the couch, waiting for her prey to walk through the door.
Twilight's ears bounced way up when she heard the doorknob jingle. Her heart pulsed with anticipation as the door creaked open.
“Hey!” Pinkie said innocently as she trotted in. “I'm back! How did the day with Spike go? Gee, it's awfully dark in here . . .”
Pinkie flipped the light switch, and her eyes dilated in shock at Twilight's pose on the couch.
“The day with Spike went just fine.” Twilight told her, twisting and contorting on the couch lecherously.
“Wha-what is this?” Pinkie demanded.”Where's Spike!?”
“He's at Rarity's.” Twilight answered, stepping down from the couch and stalking towards Pinkie like a predator. “He's going to put the moves on her for awhile. I figured I could do the same to you.”
“Um, okay . . .” Pinkie muttered.
“Last time we did this, it was just cuddling and me nipping.” Twilight reminded her, putting a hoof on her shoulder. “I was hoping, maybe this time, we could do more than just “cuddling” . . .” Twilight climbed up and nipped on Pinkie's ear, then pulled away and turned around, sweeping her tail over Pinkie's face. “Okay?”
“Y-yeah.” Pinkie stuttered. “Okay.” Her nose scrunched like she just had shot of pepper up it. She raised her hoof and pushed Twilight's tail off, then looked darkly at the ground.
“Oh, I can't wait to just . . . gobble you up.” Twilight purred. “It's gonna be so much fun! We'll finally get to-”
“No.”
“What?” Every system in Twilight's head suffered a sudden system freeze. “What? No?”
“I said no , Twilight Sparkle.” Pinkie Pie made her point clear, taking her gaze from the floor.
“Pinkie Pie, sweetie, where is this coming from-?”
“Don't you “sweetie” me! ”
Twilight raised a hoof and took a horrified step back.
“I . . .” Pinkie drawled, stalking towards Twilight. “Have had enough of you lying to Spike. I have had enough of you sending him away or making him do something else just so you could spend more time with me.”
“We had a mutual understanding this time-!”
“Shut up! ”
Twilight gasped, a tear forming her eye.
“I wasn't done. I have also had ENOUGH of you trying to get me in bed with you!” Pinkie shrieked. “Twilight. When I agreed to start dating you that one night, I didn't really have any feelings for you. But I knew – I knew, if I told you 'no', you would never by happy about anything again, and I couldn't have that. I had to make sure you were happy, because it's what I do. I had to keep a smile on your face, even if it meant lying to you. I just smiled to myself and said, “You know what, Pinkie Pie? Maybe once you do this for awhile, you'll learn to love her.” But this!”
Pinkie made a non-specific motion through the air.
“This is too much! I'm not ready for that kind of relationship, Twilight, and I am DEFINITELY not ready to keep lying to Spike! I understand you were afraid of everypony calling you a “deviant” if they found about how you felt for me, but I won't let you keeping hurting Spike like this.”
“But-”
“I won't let you keep hurting me in this unhealthy relationship of ours. And most of all, I won't let you keep hurting yourself anymore.”
“But . . . “ Twilight stammered through her tears, which evolved into a constant stream. “I was starting to make progress with it . . . I had just told Spike about my control mechanisms . . . ”
Pinkie rolled her eyes and sighed. “I wish I could believe you, Twilight.”
Pinkie turned around and headed out the door. Before she left, she gave Twilight one last look.
“And you know what the worst part is? After spending all that time, I was starting to feel something – I was starting to think maybe, just maybe your better qualities were winning me over, and that I was starting to actually love you.”
Pinkie put her hoof on the doorknob.
“But I guess we'll never know now, will we?”
Pinkie shut the door, leaving Twilight there all alone to drown in her tears.
“But . . .” Twilight stammered, having to process so much information at once. “But I . . . it . . . I was making progress! I was being more honest! Not completely honest, but way more honest than I was! I was warming up to the idea! I . . . I . . . I . . .”
Twilight just stopped talking so she could gather her thoughts. “I . . .”
Twilight raised her nose to the sky and let out a wail;
“WHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!”
“So, tell me, Spike.” Rarity said, servicing Spike with lemonade served in a wine glass. (fancy!) “However did you make this miraculous transition from the dragon you were into this handsome gentlecolt?”
“Well,” Spike drawled, being coy, “a true magician never reveals his secrets.”
“Ooh, playing hard to get, are we?” Rarity cooed.
“You like hard-to-get?” Spike asked coyly. Then he lost his cool and began stammering. “'Cause-'cause if it frustrates you or annoys you, I could knock it off or-”
Rarity put a hoof to his mouth. “I like hard-to-get. It makes the payoff more worthwhile.” Rarity began advancing up on him, giving him the bedroom eyes stare.
“I'll keep going, then.” Spike said with a smile, pushing her horn with his finger to shove her backwards.
“Oooh! You're good at it. Mrreow.” Rarity batted the air like cat playing with yarn.
“A true gentlecolt, uh . . .” Spike struggled for something witty to say.
Act fast, genius! Twilight Voice complained. You're gonna lose her!
Well, I could say -
“RAAAAAAAAAAARITTTTY!”
That's a terrible suggestion. Spike told Twilight Voice.
That . . . wasn't me. Twilight Voice replied.
But then who-
The entire room shook, glass shaking, chairs wobbling, liquids splashing and knick-knacks rattling as something came stomping into the room.
Spike and Rarity were both surprised to see Twilight come into the room. Spike's first instinct was to make a complaint about Twilight promising she wouldn't stop him . . . but then he looked at her and noticed how she looked like she was going to explode and consume the house in a fiery inferno.
“Thank you SO MUCH for your STUPID advice!” Twilight rasped, her voice distorted and garbled from uncontrolled tears and snot running through her sinuses. “I TRIED to “drive her crazy”, like you said, I TRIED to make her “want me”, and you know what happened?”
Twilight trotted further into the room, slamming her hoof on the table so hard it caused a spiderweb fracture.
“IT DROVE HER OFF! She got uncomfortable, I made things move too fast for her, and now she's GONE! GONE! NOW PINKIE PIE – MY PINKIE PIE IS GONE FOREVER! AND ITS ALL THANKS TO YOUR STUPID, STUPID ADVICE!”
Twilight continued pounding the table, making the crack widen and widen, until eventually the table split right in half and fell against the ground.
“Some friend.” Twilight added bitterly before stomping out the way she came in.
Rarity could only stand there in shock, jaw agape. After a moment, she shook her head and recovered.
“Well, Spike, have you the fainest notion of what that was all about?”
“I think so . . .” Spike answered, setting his wine glass down on the sink counter top.
“And . . . I think I heard something about Pinkie Pie in that mess?”
“Yeah, yeah. Don't worry.” Spike assured her. “I've got this covered, okay?” He ran out the door.
Rarity looked at her shattered table-halves and sighed.
“I hope you do, Spike. I hope you do.”
“Twilight?” Spike asked meekly, inching the library door open. He looked around and couldn't see her, so he started to worry . . . until he heard soft sobbing coming from the corner.
“Twilight?” Spike repeated again, noticing Twilight had her horn stuck in the wall.
“Wa . . .” Twilight's sentence came out garbled. “What do you want, Spike?”
“Uuuhhh . . .” Spike stammered. “I don't know . . . uh, is everything okay? I mean, it's clearly not, but I mean . . .”
“Pinkie Pie broke up with me!” Twilight wailed.
Spike blinked. Surely he didn't hear that right. “OH, um, WOW, that's funny, Twilight! It almost sounded like you said Pinkie Pie broke up with you!”
“SHE DID!” Twilight screamed.
“O . . . kay. You wanna . . . walk through this one?” Spike circled the air around his head.
“We were dating.” Twilight choked out. “The big, super-secret thing I wasn't telling you? Me and Pinkie were dating. I was in love with Pinkie Pie, and we were dating, and now she broke up with me, and I've been banging my head against the wall since I came back from Rarity's, and now my horn's got stuck!”
Spike frowned.
“”Pinkie and I” . . .”
“WHATEVER!” Twilight shouted, pointing her hoof. “Just . . . just leave me a-alone and let . . . let me cry in peace. Please.”
“Twilight,” Spike said kindly, “I think the last thing you need right now is to be alone. Maybe you wan to talk about it a bit more-?”
“GO TO YOUR ROOM, SPIKE!”
“But-”
“NOOOW!”
“Okay, I'm going, I'm going!” Spike assured her, climbing up the stairs. He could still hear sobs echoing off the lower floor, even as he made his way into his basket.
Ah well . Spike assured himself as he curled up into his basket. I'm sure this will all blow over in the morning.
Spike had a strange dream that night.
He was in a beautiful field, full of vibrant flowers and sturdy, long-lived trees. Blue jays and robins, a few of whom openly perched on his shoulders. Yep. It was a pretty great place to be, all things considered.
But then he heard crying in the distance. He shook the birds off and followed the sound to its source. He wasn't sure if he had shrunk, or Twilight had grown, because now she was the size of a giantess. She wouldn't have been able to fit into the castle at Canterlot, let alone their house.
She was still crying, and laying in the field like nothing mattered anymore.
“Hey, Twilight!?” Spike shouted, trying to get his voice over her house-sized tears. “I know you're really upset right now, but maybe we should-”
Twilight abruptly stood up and turned away from him, galloping away. The thuds of her footsteps shaking the ground and uprooting trees as she became nothing than a teary speck in the distance.
“Hmm.” Spike noted before he woke up.
“Aaah . . .” That dream had been strange, but Spike felt rested and ready for a brand new day. He looked over at Twilight's bed, expecting to see her, troubled but asleep.
It was only when she wasn't there did he truly begin to worry about her health and sanity.
Spike rushed down the stairs, finding Twilight still stuck in the wall.
“Twilight?” Spike called after her. “Are you stuck?”
Twilight grunted, her eyes turning open. They were dry and bloodshot from a night of long tears and little sleep. “No . . . I'm not stuck.”
“Then you can get out?”
“I can ,” Twilight told him, “but what's the point?”
“Well, um . . . “ Spike stammered. “The point is, Pinkie may have broken up with you, but you still have things to do! Places to go! Ponies to meet!”
“So?” Twilight questioned, sullenly sinking. If he didn't know better, he might have thought Twilight was trying to drive her horn further into the wall and get herself permanently stuck there.
His suspicious was confirmed when Twilight lifted her read and started bucking.
Spike turned away from the depressing sight to gather his thoughts, ignoring Twilight's grunts as she attempted to make herself the world's first living wall ornament.
The more he thought about it, the more he solved around it, the more clear the only solution became.
Somehow, he, Spike the Dragon, had to go out there and get Pinkie Pie and Twilight Sparkle back together.
Dragon's Breath: Rekindling
Spike paced back and forth, rubbing his chin as he contemplated what to do. Twilight was motionless in the wall, still as the grave.
Spike's internal quest for a solution was hampered somewhat by the fact he had never heard of two mares dating before. Like, date-dating. In the storybooks Twilight would read him when they were both children in Canterlot, the stories always ended with a handsome prince rescuing the beautiful princess from a dark wizard's tower. Never in them was there a story of a beautiful princess rescuing another princess.
He had to wonder, would that make repairing Pinkie's and Twilight's relationship . . . different from repairing a relationship featuring a male and female? Or would all the same concepts apply with no concern for gender?
"Aaah . . ." Spike bemoaned, slapping his hand against his head. "Come on, think! What's the right thing to do in this situation!?" He applied both his hands to his head like he was going to squeeze it off. "Think, think, think!" He knocked on his noggin. An idea eventually came to him.
"I know!" Spike pointed his finger through the air. "I'll ask our friends! I'm sure they'll have something that can help!" Spike was momentarily enthusiastic about his idea, then was disappointed as he turned towards Twilight.
"Ooh, but Twilight was really insistent on not letting anypony know about Pinkie and her! What do I do!?" Spike rubbed his chin. "I know! I just . . . won't mention their names, that's all! I better get to work!"
Spike ran upstairs to the bedroom, and pulled out the materials for writing a letter, like the ones Twilight sent to Celestia. Only it would be for their friends instead.
Dear . . . Spike paused, wondering the best choice of words. Everypony,
A good friend of mine has come down with a funk because of a bad break-up with her coltfriend. I want them to get back together, but I don't know how.
Please send help at your earliest . . .
"Hey, Twilight!? How do you spell "convenience"?"
"C-o-v-e-n-i-e-n-c-e." Twilight spelled for him.
"Thanks." Spike wrote the letters down.
-at your earliest convenience,
Signed, Spike.
Spike had been expecting to write the letter over and over again until there was one for all four of Twilight's friends who weren't Pinkie, but that turned out to be unnecessary.
"I gathered everypony as soon I received your telegram, Spike." Rarity informed, closing the window curtains in the room.
She was trying to add a certain atmosphere to emphasized the gravity of the situation. "The room will reflect the mood." she said. Applejack, as usual, thought she was bonkers.
Rarity, Applejack, Dash, and Fluttershy were all gathered around Rarity's tea table, with a cup of fresh-brewed tea, of course.
"I am very thankful you brought this matter to my attention as soon you did, Spike." Rarity told him, draping her hoof around his shoulder and giving him a peck on the cheek.
Rainbow Dash looked around the room. "Where's Pinkie Pie? She's normally all over trying to cheer ponies up."
"Yes, well, I tried to get her, of course." Rarity said. "But she refused to come for some reason."
"Pinkie Pie, turn down an invitation?" Applejack asked. "Well, that just plumb don't sound right."
"She said not to bother her." Rarity added. "She said was going through a phase."
"Ah don't like it, y'all. Since when does Pinkie do "phases"?
"Yeah!" Dash agreed, slamming her hoof on the table. "I say we march over there right now, and-"
"HEY!" Spike shouted, flailing his arms for attention. "Can we worry about my friend's predicament first!?"
"I'm so sorry, Spike." Rarity told him, crossing her hooves under her chin. "Do tell us what's wrong with Twilight, darling."
Spike's eyes widened. "Uhh . . . w-what makes you think it's Twilight, Rarity?"
"Well, your letter mentioned a special friend!" Rarity wailed. She beckoned Spike closer, and he obliged.
"There's also the teensiest-tiny detail of her meltdown last night that could have powered four unrelated power plants." Rarity whispered with an unamused expression.
"Point taken." Spike whispered back before drawing away. He held his claws out and puffed himself up. "But that aside, the friend to which I refer to is not Twilight."
"Then who is it?" Applejack asked.
"Umm . . . my friend wishes to not be named." Spike explained. Rarity gave him a glare, not buying it, but she let him keep the charade up.
"So, a break-up, huh?" Dash asked for clarification while she slumped in her chair and put her back hooves on the table.
"Rainbow Dash, hooves OFF the table!" Rarity screeched. Rainbow ignored her.
"Golly, Ah don't entirely know wut to do 'bout a break-up, Spike." Applejack admitted with sadness, lying her hat against her chest. "But, are y'all shore this is tha' best course of action?"
"What do you mean?"
"Ah mean, are ya shore it would be best to git'em back together? 'Cos maybe . . . maybe it's for tha' best, Spike. Maybe they just . . . weren't meant to be."
Rarity gasped. "Applejack! I can't believe what I'm hearing!"
"Well, Rarity, if wasn't meant tah be, it wasn't meant tah be."
Spike thought about Applejack's words. Maybe she had a point. Maybe she was right. Maybe he should leave it all to rest and put this past behind them.
Then he thought about Twilight, still stuck in the wall, and unlikely to have moved since he left this morning. Sapped of the drive to do anything and drained of the will to eat, to breath, to sleep. The will to live. Applejack hadn't seen her. Applejack didn't see how utterly broken and confused Twilight was. Applejack didn't see how many pieces Twilight was in.
Spike resolved to himself not to give up, and that no matter what, Twilight and Pinkie would get back together!
"I . . . still want to try." Spike said.
"Well, bless yer heart for being determined, Spike." Applejack said. "A'ight . . . lemme think a bit . . . oh! Granny always says, "tha' quickest way to a colt's heart is through his stomach." Maybe yer friend should bake an apple pie for her special somepony!"
"Ooh!" Rarity squealed. "Perhaps a fabulous new dress?" She used her magic to levitate a bolt of fabric near her and caressed it.
"I think it's going to take more than gifts for my friend's coltfriend to forgive her." Spike said. "Anypony got any better ideas?"
"Well, you know what I'd do?" Dash asked rhetorically, taking her back hooves off the table only to replace them with her front ones. "I'd march straight up to that jerk, holster him by the neck, and tell him "Hey, what's the matter with you, pal!? Am I not good enough for you? Well, fine, jerk! If you feel that way, then I'm TOO GOOD for you anyways, wise-flank!"" Dash raved.
Spike felt that wasn't going to particular work either.
"I, um, always thought serenades were rather romantic." Fluttershy suggested, nearly inaudible.
"What's a serenade?" Spike asked.
"Oh! Um, well . . . a serenade is a special song by ponies who are in love to get the other to fall in love with them. I've heard stories of it having an almost magical quality to resolve fights between lovers." Fluttershy smiled and sighed. "Isn't that just the sweetest thing?" Fluttershy's eyes widened. "Um, not that I'm suggesting you use magic to force this colt to get back with your friend, that is!"
"I'll . . ." Spike stammered, not sure what to make of Fluttershy's paranoid fear. "I'll make a note of that. Thanks. Rarity, could I have my letter back? I want to make a note . . ."
"Of course, darling." Rarity handed him the letter. Spike pulled out a quill and wrote on the back, listing Applejack's and Fluttershy's ideas.
Carrying some groceries, Spike soon returned to the library, where Twilight was still stuck in the wall. Spike's worry increased as he noticed how her stomach seem to be making surf waves.
"Twilight?" Spike asked.
"Spike?" Twilight replied, spinning her pupils towards him. "Hello, Spike. What's in the bags?" It disturbed Spike how . . . mechanical she sounded.
"Oh, these?" Spike asked, lifting the bags up. "Just some . . . stuff."
"That's nice." Twilight said briskly. "I'm glad you're here, Spike. I'd like to write a letter to the Princess."
"Okay . . ." Spike agreed. He felt relieved that Twilight had apparently recovered enough to dictate a letter to her mentor. "What do you want to say?"
"Dear Princess Celestia," Twilight began, "Today I learned that if you stick your horn in a wall for long enough, it will eventually start to talk back to you."
"Uhh, Twilight, I'm not so sure that's a good thing to write to the Princess-"
"I ALSO learned," Twilight continued, ignoring him, "That true love is a BITTER LIE told to us by CRUEL PARENTS who have NO IDEA WHAT THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT!"
"I'm . . . gonna go in the kitchen." Spike told her, pointing to the kitchen door. Twilight made no motion to show she heard him or cared.
Inside the kitchen, Spike turned the paper bags upside down and shook their contents onto the table. Eggs, butter, milk, sugar, and a pie crust . . . everything he would need to bake a forgiveness pie! Spike's plan was to bake the pie and then leave in Pinkie's home for her to find, leaving a note saying it was from Twilight, not him. He didn't know if that would be enough to send Pinkie sprawling back into Twilight's forelegs, but it was a good start.
He got out a cookbook, put on a chef hat, and went to work with gusto. It took him so long it was dark by the end of it, but he now had a firm dark chocolate pie. Twilight was none the wiser. It looked so good, he had to fight the temptation to eat it himself.
"Focus, Spike." Spike told himself, giving himself a slap. "This is for Pinkie . . . and for Twilight, not yourself." Carrying the pie with his claws underneath it, Spike headed out for Sugarcube Corner, a bakery where Pinkie both lived and worked. He passed Twilight on his way out.
"Twilight, I'm going out!" Once again, she made no motion to acknowledge him. Spike frowned. All his hopes were resting on this pie.
Upon reaching Sugarcube Corner, Spike ignored the "Closed" sign and opened the door. He sneaked inside.
"Hello?" Spike asked the empty air. There was no pony in the seats or even at the register. "Perfect!" Spike exclaimed before hopping towards the counter. He placed the still-steaming pie on the counter and turned to leave.
"Oop!" Spike smacked himself. "Almost forget!" He reached into that void where cartoon characters always magically kept things and produced a tag with black string run through it. He carefully inserted the string into the pie, making it look just like a Hearth's Warming Eve gift.
From: Twilight Sparkle
To: Pinkie Pie
Was written on the tag.
Spike smacked his palm on the service bell, then scampered outside. He ran around to the side of the building, hiding the bushes so he could eavesdrop from the window.
"Hello?" Spike heard a male voice say. Mr. Cake, Pinkie's employer-slash-landlord-slash-adoptive father. "I'm sorry, but we're closed. Hmm?"
Spike grinned. Mr. Cake must have noticed the pie. His theory was confirmed when he heard Mr. Cake call for his little girl.
"Pinkie Pie! Would you come down here, please? One of your friends left you a gift!"
"Sure!" came an unenthusiastic reply. "I'll be right there."
Spike twisted around the bushes, digging his claws into the windowsill so he could peer inside. Pinkie Pie was calmly trotting down the stairs to see what was up, and Mr. Cake directed her to the pie.
"Your friends must really care for you to leave something like this out at this of night." Mr. Cake helpfully informed Pinkie.
"Yeah . . ." Pinkie murmured, looking away from him. "Care . . ."
"I'll leave you to it." Mr. Cake said, trotting up the stairs.
Pinkie approached the cake and sniffed it curiously. She noticed the name tag.
Come on, come on . . . Spike prayed in his head.
Pinkie took in a deep breath and sighed. She reservedly dug her hoof into the pie, taking out a big scoop of it and taking it into her mouth.
In his nervousness, Spike's tail curled it on itself.
Pinkie spat the pie out, yelling in disgust as she did so.
"BLECH!" Pinkie shook her head, wiping the crumbs off her lips. "That's funny! I thought Twilight LISTENED when I taught her how to bake! Hmmph!" Pinkie turned her head up at the pie. "Clearly, Spike wasn't the only thing she didn't listen to me about!"
"Agh, no!" Spike cursed, putting his hands on his head. "That's not what was supposed to happen! . . . and my baking is not that bad!"
Pinkie stared angrily at the pie for a bit, then her expression softened.
"Unless . . ." Pinkie muttered, cupping her chin. "Unless this pie represents how she feels! Terrible!" Pinkie's eyes watered up briefly, but she blinked the tears away.
"No. No. She deserved every word I said that night." Pinkie told herself. She picked the pie up and tossed it, straight into the trash can of the room. "I have nothing to cry for." She added, though it sounded like she was more trying to convince herself rather inform anypony who was listening.
Frustrated and unsure what to do, Spike began banging his head on the wall of the Corner.
"Spike?"
"Hmm?" Spike looked up to see Mr. Cake's head peeking out from the window.
"What are you doing here?" Mr. Cake asked. "Isn't a little late for baby dragons to be out?"
"Um, well . . . yeah." Spike admitted. "But I have a good reason for it! Honest!"
Mr. Cake raised an eyebrow. "Well, if you're that sure of yourself . . ." He pulled the window down.
Spike snapped his fingers, still wondering what to do. Thinking back to earlier, he pulled out the letter from earlier and fumbled with it until he found his notes.
Pie? Spike read to himself. Tried that. What was next? Oh, right, music!
Spike found Rainbow Dash hanging out with the posse she brought to Fluttershy's a few days ago. After explaining he was trying to create a serenade without mentioning who for, they gave him a spare instrument – an old wooden sitar. One of them took an napkin and scribbled the instructions for a soft guitar ballad on it. He gave Spike the napkin and told him to just do it as said.
Spike then set about collection a number of buckets and mops, and a cardboard tube. With a bit of glue, he attacked the mop together at their handles, sticking their head into the buckets. He sculpted the cardboard tip into a point and glued it to one of the buckets, which he then threw over a mop head; a makeshift unicorn, with the cardboard as the horn, the buckets as the head and hooves, and mop handles as legs. It would never fool a pony in the day, but under the cover of darkness, its shadow would become indistinguishable to a real unicorn's.
Looking at his puppet, Spike scratched his chin. He still needed something. He had an effigy to place like Twilight's body, and a musical instruments for notes, but he was still missing something – the notes! Even as his highest falsetto, his voice would never be mistaken for Twilight's. He needed something to replicate her voice, but what?
"Got it." Spike snapped his fingers, then bolted over to Fluttershy's. He knocked on the door.
"Hello?" Fluttershy asked, poking her head out. "Oh! Spike! Isn't a little late for you to be out?"
"Yeah, yeah, I know." Spike assured her, dismissing her qualms. "Listen, do you have a bird that could flawlessly replicate Twilight's voice?"
"Well, I do . . . but . . . why?" Fluttershy asked.
"I'm, uh, making a presentation." Spike said, choosing his words carefully. It wasn't a total lie, as from a certain perspective, that could have been exactly what he was doing. "Twilight . . . can't help with it, right now, though, so I was hoping I could have a bird to use her voice?"
"Oh. Well, um, I'm not sure why you would need right now at this time of night, but I guess you have your reasons . . . wait right here." Fluttershy went back inside her house, then came back out with a well-kept red bird perch adorably on her nose. "Here you go." Fluttershy lowered her snout, and Spike cupped the bird in his claws. "Her name's Melissa. Be gentle with her."
"Don't worry, I will!" Spike told her, holding the bird up high. "Come on, Melissa! You and I have a big thing to do tonight!" Spike jumped off Fluttershy's door-ramp. while Fluttershy herself nervously chattered, biting on her hooves.
Sometime later, Spike had everything set up just outside Sugarcube Corner. His unicorn mockup placed firmly in the bushes outside the house, the sitar in his lap, and the bird reading the lyrics he came up with over his shoulder. He forgot to ask Fluttershy, but thankfully the bird was able to read song lyrics, enough so that he plan might work.
Spike picked up a rock and, using his all his strength, lobbed it at the window, where it plonked off. Pinkie appeared, pulling the window open to investigate.
"Hey, Pinkie Pie!" The bird call, hidden the bushes. Spike jostled the head of his puppet around to simulate the act of talking. "I know I haven't been good to you these last few days, so I thought I would try to make it up to you with a song!"
Pinkie sighed, resting her leg on the windowsill. She didn't seem too excited to hear from Twilight again. "Let's hear it."
Spike cleared his throat and gave the bird its cue. He began to play the sitar, following the instructions exactly. He wasn't terrible at it for a first-timer. The bird read the lyrics off, imitating Twilight's voice perfectly.
Oh, Pinkie Pie,
I wish I could make you see,
That really, you're the only one for me!
I tried to think about some other girls,
I really did,
But now I realize that you're my whole world!
I'm sorry for what I did to Spike, to myself, and to you.
I'm sorry for the hay I've put you through.
I'm sorry for the way I acted.
But please, sweetie, just let me make up to you!
I'll shower you in delicious emeralds,
("Delicious emeralds?" Pinkie wondered)
And I'll take you to a brand new world!
Just say you'll take me back,
And we can put this all in the past!
I'm sorry I hurt you,
I'm sorry I lied,
I'm sorry I pretended to be fine.
Just say you'll take me back,
And we can get this relationship back on track!
I'm sorry I hurt you,
I'm sorry that I liiiied,
I'm sorry that I pretended to be fiiiine,
I'm sorry for the way I acted,
I'm sorry for what I did to Spike, myself, and to you
I'm sorry for the hay I've put you through,
So just accept that I'm sorry,
And we can go on in sweet harmony!
"What do you say?" "Twilight" asked when the song was done.
Pinkie merely glared angrily at the puppet. "Twilight?"
Spike motioned at the bird.
"Yeah?" The bird replied, still mimicking.
"GO HOME!" Pinkie slammed the window shut so hard, the glass panes cracked.
Spike's jaw dropped. That song was totally heart-felt, he wasn't bad at the sitar, and the bird's performance was spot-on to Twilight's voice while still being an excellent singer. What went wrong!?
"Well, darn." Spike rued to himself. "Now I've tried everything." In a moment of blind frustration, Spike threw the sitar to the ground. He kicked the puppet into the bushes, and gave Fluttershy's bird instructions to go fly herself back home. After making sure the bird flew in the right direction, Spike bitterly walked himself home.
Spike woke up in his bed the next morning, and the first thing on his mind was his next attempt to mend the rift between Twilight and Pinkie. He sprang out of bed, not even thinking about breakfast, and dashed down the stairs.
A terrible sight awaited him there.
Twilight was still stuck in the wall. And she hadn't moved. Not only had she not moved, she hadn't eaten or drank or slept since he last saw her yesterday. Her face was pale, her ribs were beginning to show, and her eyes were even more bloodshot than the last time Spike saw them open.
"T-Twilight?" Spike stuttered.
"What?" Twilight asked. "No, no, I didn't do it. D-don't hit me, Daddy."
Spike blanked, not sure what to do. "Uuhh . . . why would I hit you, sweetie?"
Twilight's eyes bugged out, before returning to their normal size. "I dunno! Ask-ask-ask the seapony . . . or the dolphin, maybe. I think he knows something."
Spike blinked, barely able to understand a word she said. "WHAT!?"
"The-the dolphin?" Twilight meekly suggested. "I was just saying the dolphin . . . please don't yell at me, daddy, I didn't mean anything by it."
Spike tried to calm her down. "I-I won't yell at you, okay, Twilight?"
There was a knock on the door.
"Who could that be?" Spike wondered aloud. Then he noticed Twilight began to fidget and twitch. "Uhhh . . . I'm going to greet some guests, okay?" Spike added, pretending to be the father he was in Twilight's mania.
Spike went to open the door. It was Rarity and Rainbow Dash.
"Hello, darling." Rarity cooed at him. "We were hoping to see how Twilight's doing? No pony saw hide nor hair of her yesterday, and we're worried."
"Hoo! You should be." Spike stepped aside and gestured to Twilight.
"Twilight!?" Rarity exclaimed at Twilight's poor state. She and Rainbow Dash sped towards her, flanking her sides, Dash hovering in the air.
"Twilight?" Rarity asked, lightly shaking Twilight's shoulder. "Are you- well, you're obviously not all right, but can you hear me?"
"Mama?" Twilight asked, rolling her eyes towards Rarity. "Is that you, Mama? I . . . I'm so cold, Mama . . ."
Rainbow Dash was confused, while Rarity frowned.
"What's going on?" Dash asked.
"She's delusional." Rarity explained. "Sleep deprivation and hunger. For now, I'm going to play along." Rarity looked at Twilight. She embraced Twilight in a hug, patting her head in the hopes it would coax her from the wall. "Shh, shh, baby, it's all right. Mama's here."
Spike thought about how, a moment ago, Twilight was calling him "daddy." and now Rarity was "mama." Spike must have passed for "daddy" simply for having a masculine voice, while Rarity passed as mama just for being a female unicorn.
"I'm hurting, Mama." Twilight, at long last, finally popped her horn from the wall. She turned and glomped Rarity in a tight hug, crying over the white mare's shoulder.
"I know, baby, I know . . ." Rarity soothed her. "Tell Mama what's wrong."
"W-would you . . ." Twilight sniffed. "Read me a bedtime story, Mama?"
"Of course, dear. What would you like me to read about?"
"Tell me one about the prince and the princess." Twilight answered. "Tell me about how the handsome prince saved the beautiful princess, and then they lived happily ever after!" Twilight began pounding her hoof on Rarity's side in anger. Rarity grinned and took it like a champ. "And how the STUPID prince and the STUPID princess don't have to deal with all the STUPID things you have to keep in mind during a STUPID relationship! It's always "happily ever after" in the storybooks, isn't it, Mama!? No, it never goes into detail about all the stupid things you have to do in a relationship! Stupid, stupid, stupid!"
"Come on." Rarity lifted Twilight's hoof off her. "Let's go to . . . the ice cream parlor, sweetie."
"Ice cream parlor?" Dash and Spike both asked.
"Look, she needs to eat something." Rarity told them. "We're taking her to Sugarcube Corner, and we're going to gorge her on healthy pies and such."
"Oooh." Spike groaned. "That may not be the best idea . . ."
Rarity and Rainbow Dash looked at him oddly. "Why's that, darling?"
"Uuhh . . ." Spike struggled to answer. He couldn't tell them why without telling them about Twilight and Pinkie dating, and he couldn't do that because he still wanted to respect Twilight's wishes. "Never mind. Forget what I said. I . . . don't know what came over me. Hehheh!" Spike attempted to deflect with a laugh.
Rarity and Dash stared, confounded, before they guided Twilight to the door. Spike followed close behind, ignoring the knots forming in his stomach.
The doorbell for the shop rang as Rainbow shoved the door open. She went around held it open so Rarity limp Twilight in there. The sight of Rarity dragging the unraveled unicorn drew stares from the patrons of the bakery, not least of all Pinkie, who was wiping the counter when they came in.
"Oh!" Pinkie squealed in delight at the sight of her friends, but she deflated when she saw Twilight. "Hey, girls . . ."
"Yes, hello, Pinkie." Rarity said as she drew Twilight to the counter. "I don't mean to be rude, I need . . ." Rarity looked at Twilight, as if examining her to decide what to get. "Well, I'm going to need enough to stuff this poor dear silly, but let's start with a chocolate smoothie, shall we?"
"Coming right up!" Pinkie answered, pulling out a glass. Rarity didn't the uncertain strain in the back of Pinkie's bright smile.
"No!" Twilight shouted.
"No?" Rarity questioned. Spike furrowed his lips.
"No, ma'am, I am not a thief!" Twilight insisted, even though nopony accused her of such. "I fully intended to pay!" She placed her hoof on Spike's head. "The monkey here stole my check!"
"Monkey?" Spike asked. Of all the things Twilight could have hallucinated him into being, it had to be a monkey? Not a handsome prince or dapper rogue?
Pinkie placed a glass full of chocolate, frothy liquid on the counter. "One chocolate smoothie!" Her grin wavered, but once again, Rarity and Dash didn't notice.
"Here." Rarity said, levitating the smoothie towards Twilight.
"No. No!" Twilight said, aggressively taking the smoothie into her hoof. She jumped onto the counter, somehow balancing herself on her hind legs. She started swinging the smoothie at them like she thought it was a sword. "I'll never betray Celestia and join your assassin's guild!"
"What?" Dash scoffed, while Rarity rubbed her chin in thought.
"So, Twilight Sparkle!" Rarity growled, playing into Twilight's delusion. "Would you rather die on your blade than join us!?"
"Yes!" Twilight shrieked at her.
"Then do it!" Rarity taunted. "Eat your blade right now!"
"You know what!? I think I will!" Twilight raised her "sword", the smoothie, then stuffed into her mouth, where it sprang from the cup into her throat in a solid lump.
"UUMF!" Twilight groaned, reaching her hoof over the lump that formed in her throat. She messaged her neck until it went down, swallowing. She blinked a few times, then collapsed onto all four legs, holding the smoothie with her magic.
"Feel better?" Rarity asked, daintily while also sure of herself.
"Yeah . . ." Twilight nodded, still rubbing her throat. "Goodness, how long I was out of it?" She turned her head to see where she was, then jumped at the sight of Pinkie. "AAH!" She fell off the counter, but a white flash of teleporting magic filled the air before she hit the floor.
Rarity and Dash looked at the empty space where Twilight used to be. Then they lifted their heads up to look at Pinkie, who was grinning nervously.
"Pinkie Pie, darling . . ." Rarity said sweetly, yet dangerously. "Twilight had a rather adverse reaction to seeing you . . ."
"O-oh?" Pinkie stuttered, sweating bullets "What makes you say that?"
"Well . . . I just thought you should know, if it turns out you are somehow responsible for Twilight's poor condition . . . well, I won't be held responsible for how I might react ."
Rainbow Dash brought her wings together, cricking her feathers the way a mob goon in a movie cracked his knuckles before he roughed someone up.
Pinkie continued to sweat and force a smile. Then, like magic, her place at the counter was taken by Mr. Cake, to his Rarity's, Dash's, and even his own confusion. For his part as a restaurant owner, he attempted to take it in stride. "Hello, ladies! Can I, uh, get you anything?"
Accepting they were unlikely to find a Pinkie Pie who didn't want to be found, Rainbow and Rarity ordered a pair of vanilla shakes and took a table. Spike was left alone by the counter.
"Hello, again, Spike." Mr. Cake addressed him. "Anything I can get you?"
Spike pursed his lips. "A ticket to Pinkie Pie's room?"
"Oh, I don't know I can give you that, Spike." Mr. Cake said coyly. He shifted his eyes around the room. Spike thought he heard a drawer open and shut.
"Here." Mr. Cake whispered, handing Spike what looked like a golden ticket. "It's a Pinkie Voucher, one use only. She'll have to let you in her room. Don't tell her I gave it to you, okay?"
Spike took the ticket and nodded.
"If you can cheer her up, I'd be grateful." Mr. Cake gestured to the stairs. "She's been so upset these last few days."
"Will do." Spike saluted, and went up the stairs.
Coming 'round on the blue door that led into Pinkie's room, Spike knocked.
"Go away!" Pinkie shouted. "I don't want to see anypony right now!"
Spike sighed, then remembered the voucher. He bent down, tongue stuck out, and slid the ticket under the doorway. He heard hoofsteps from the other side of the door. The doorknob clicked and jangled, and the door was open.
"How did you get this?" Pinkie demanded, holding the voucher in her hoof.
"Uuhhh . . ." Spike tried to buy time for a lie.
"Mr. Cake gave it to you, didn't he?"
"UUUH . . ." Spike stammered even harder, his eyes widening as he imagined the kind of trouble Mr. Cake was now in thanks to both of their actions.
Pinkie let out a frustrated groan. "Uugh! Never mind. I'll deal with him later." Pinkie moved aside and gestured to her bed. "You want to come in?"
Spike hopped into the room, leaping onto Pinkie's bed. Pinkie sat down on her haunches next to him, her front hooves pressed firmly into the bed.
"What do you want to talk about?" Pinkie asked, looking away shamefully.
"Mr. Cake said you've been kind of upset . . ." Spike answered. "And, uh, Twilight's not doing too good without you."
"Yeah." Pinkie spat bitterly, crossing her front legs over her chest, and criss-crossing her hind legs. "I noticed that."
"Why don't you talk?" Spike offered her.
Pinkie gave him a confused look, clearly not sure what he meant. She signed and complied. "Okay, Spike, I'm going to have to tell you something Twilight was never going to tell you. Twilight and I-"
Spike held his claw out. "Were dating, I know. She told me everything."
Pinkie went slack-jawed. "S-she did?"
"Yeah, she did. Are you gonna tell me anything?"
Pinkie sighed again, burying her face in her hooves. "Okay. . . okay. I broke up with Twilight because it hurting her. Hurting myself." Pinkie looked at him, then cupped both his cheeks with her hooves. "Hurting you, Spike. Twilight was supposed to spend the whole day with you that night. The WHOLE day, and just like she'd been doing every day of every week, she blew you off to spend more time with me. So . . ." Pinkie sighed yet again. "So I broke up with her. It was obvious she was never going to tell you what was really going on, and I had enough of her lying to you, abusing you, so I quit it. I broke up with her. I-I thought that would fix everything."
"And?" Spike coaxed.
"It didn't, obviously! I thought I was doing the right thing breaking up with her, but . . . after seeing her like that today . . . I-I'm not so sure anymore. D-do you think I did the right thing, Spike?"
Spike looked at the floor for a moment before looking back at her. "Pinkie, I'm going to be honest with you. No, I don't think you did the right thing."
"But-" Pinkie stuttered. "She was hurting you! Lying to you! She left you to spend more time with me!"
"Yeah, yeah." Spike said. "She admitted what she was doing was wrong. She said she wouldn't tell me what was going on between you two just yet, but she would eventually. She said didn't know if I was ready to hear about, just that she wasn't ready to admit it."
"R-really?" Pinkie stammered. Those were her exact words; that she didn't know if Spike was ready to hear about this sort of thing, just that Twilight wasn't ready to admit it.
"We split at the restaurant to spend time with both our crushes. I went to Rarity's, she went home . . . to you, Pinkie. We . . . had a mutual understanding."
Pinkie froze. Those had been Twilight's exact words last night. "Y-you did?"
Spike nodded. "Yup!"
"Oh . . . " Pinkie moaned. "Oh, Spike, what I have done!?"
Silence permeated the room for a bit as Pinkie came to grips with how cutting she had really been to Twilight last night. Everything she said had been true, and Pinkie didn't believe her.
Pinkie cupped Spike's cheeks again. They locked eyes. An understanding seemed to pass from Pinkie's vision into Spike's.
"Take me to her, Spike."
"Twilight?" Spike called out, stepping into the library. He noticed self-powered feather dusters were dancing about the room, removing and dislocating dust on the shelves, and there seemed to be a mop operated by an invisible pony. Twilight must have enchanted them to work themselves, as without her or him, the library had been accumulating filth.
"I'm in here, Spike!" Twilight called back, sounding much healthier and saner (by her standards) than when Spike had heard her last.
Spike uneasily made his way into the kitchen, where Twilight was using her magic to twirl some leafy greens on plate laid on the table.
"What seems to the problem, Spike?" Twilight asked without so much as looking at him. The refrigerator door was open, and food was being pulled out from it by arcane forces that juggled the foodstuffs through the air.
"What'cha doing, Twi?" Spike asked innocently, balancing on his tip-toes.
"Oh, just . . . trying to make up for 24 hours without eating or sleeping." Twilight replied causally. "How about you? What are you up to?" She lifted up the fork and barbarically shoved the greens into her mouth, swallowing seemingly without chewing at all.
"I have . . . somepony here to see you." Spike said. That piqued her interest, clearly, as she finally turned to look at him. She pushed the plate on the table away from herself.
"Who is it?" Twilight asked with concern, trotting towards the door.
Spike stepped aside, extending his hand out like he was presenting royalty. Pinkie stepped into the room, taking slow, careful steps.
"Pinkie!?" Twilight exclaimed, her eyes widening in shock.
"Hi." Pinkie greeted. "I . . . wanted to apologize. Spike came by and told me everything. I'm . . ." Pinkie took in a deep breath. "I'm sorry I tried to break-up with you. I'm sorry I didn't give you a chance to explain yourself. I'm sorry I yelled at you."
Pinkie approached Twilight and offered her hoof. "So . . . can we start over?"
As it was prone to doing, Twilight's eye twitched with all the mania of damaged machine. She cricked her neck like she was about to rotate her head 360 degrees, then reverted her neck back to its normal tilt. She gave a thin, wispy smile . . . and turned away. "Okay, apology duly noted! You can go home now."
Both Pinkie's and Spike's jaws dropped.
"What?" Pinkie gasped in awe.
"WHAT!?" Spike screamed in outrage. "Come on! After all that crying and wailing you did, when she comes back to apologize, you just blow her off like that!? How does that make ANY Sense!?"
Twilight turned back around, and Spike felt like the fury of a hundred rabid wolves was nearly upon him."
"Maybe . . ." Twilight hissed, lowering her front body like a predator and encroaching towards Pinkie. Pinkie backed away in fright. "I'm not ready to forgive and forget. Maybe I'm not inclined to forgive a mare who shouted at me, yelled at me, and didn't let me get a word in just as I was FINALLY starting to do what she WANTED me to do! MAYBE I don't WANT TO FORGIVE A MARE WHO STOMPED ALL OVER MY EMOTIONS!"
By now, Pinkie had been cowed into the wall, Spike just barely able to keep himself from bolting.
"You can go now." Twilight spat at Pinkie. She turned around and went back to bitterly eating her plate, the food from the fridge still shifting around the air.
"But-!" Spike protested. Pinkie put a hoof on his shoulder.
"It's okay, Spike." Pinkie tried to assure him. "It's . . . probably for the best." Pinkie left the room and went out the door, leaving Spike dumbfounded and, quite honestly, irritated.
All that work, Spike thought to himself, and for what? Nothing! Absolutely nothing!
Spike paced around the room, tapping his head.
Okay, okay, think. You can still pull this together, Spike. But how? What do you do? . . . I know!
Spike rubbed his claws together, eager to enact a new, fool-proof plan that would be sure to get the two mares back together when all else had failed.
After getting all their friends together, Spike explained his plan and what he needed all of them to do. He slightly modified the "why" of what he was doing, to respect Twilight's wishes of secrecy, but all their friends eventually agreed to their roles.
However, there was one pony he would need to talk for it to succeed . . .
Going back to the fancy restaurant at the other side of town, Spike went in and asked for the manager.
"Yes?" A blocky, pale-blue stallion dressed in a suit greeted him. "Vhat . . . zeems to ve ze problem, monsieur?"
"Oh, no problem." Spike told him. "But, uh, I was hoping I could ask for a favor?"
The stallion eyed him suspiciously. "What kind of . . . "favour?" Spike was amused by his mispronunciation.
"Uh, I have two friends who've broken up with each other recently." Spike explained, putting his claws together. "They, um, kind of got together at this restaurant? So I was hoping to kind of . . . pull off this crazy scheme to get them back together here?"
The manager seemed resigned, but to Spike's surprise, he agreed. "Oh, very vell."
"R-really?" Spike stammered, not believing his luck. "Just like that?"
"I've had many a crazy scheme in the name of love committed in this building." The manager explained. "What's one more?"
"Yes!" Spike pumped his fist. "Thank you! Now, I'll need you to do a few things . . ."
Sometime later, Rarity was dragging Pinkie with Rarity's mouth held firmly on Pinkie's mane to the restaurant. All part of Spike's master plan. "Come on, darling! That business pony won't wait forever!"
"This wouldn't be the same business pony whom I went on a date with, is it?" Pinkie asked. Rarity was perplexed of Pinkie's use of a fancy word like "whom", but pressed on.
"No, no. This one wants to franchise Sugarcube, not buy it." Rarity told her. "Come on!"
"Wait, wait . . ." Pinkie placed her haunches firmly on the ground, noticing Fluttershy dragging Twilight into the same building. "Isn't that Twilight Sparkle?"
"Yes, why?"
"What's she doing here?"
"I have no idea." Rarity said with a straight face. Pinkie grew suspicious, but Rarity's poker face was flawless.
"Hmm. Okie-dokie then . . ." She continued to eye Rarity and Twilight with equal amounts of suspicion.
"I'm so excited!" Twilight said to Fluttershy, not noticing Pinkie. "A researcher from Fillydelphia wants to look into my work! MY work! Don't you see, Fluttershy? This could be my big ticket into the famous researchers of Equestrian history!"
"Oh, my, yes." Fluttershy mumbled. "Yes, it could!" She felt bad about lying to Twilight, but she had to for Spike's plan to work. There was no researcher waiting for Twilight in the restaurant, and there wasn't a business pony looking to franchise Sugarcube Corner either.
Once inside, Rarity and Fluttershy both guided their charges to the same table.
"Twilight?" Pinkie asked, seeing them approach the same table Rarity had sit at.
"Pinkie?" Twilight replied, giving Fluttershy a filthy glare. Fluttershy quivered from her harsh gaze. "What's really going on here, Fluttershy?"
"Oh! Um, well . . . I, um, I think I hear Angel calling me. Bye!" Fluttershy bolted out the door faster than Twilight thought was possible
"Rarity, what's-" Pinkie turned to demand to ask Rarity the same question, but she was equally gone. "Huh." Pinkie turned to Twilight, who rubbed the back of her neck.
"Guess we might as well sit . . ." Twilight said, pulling a chair out.
"I guess . . ." Pinkie replied, doing the same. They sat down and lifted up their menus to cover their faces, blocking their gazes from each other. They each waited for the other to come forward, to admit that this was a set-up to get them back together. That the other had staged this whole thing. However, neither came forward, so eventually Twilight threw her menu down and forced the issue.
"All right, Pinkie Pie, what's going on here!? Fluttershy told me I was going to meet a researcher from Fillydelphia here!"
Pinkie raised an eyebrow. "Really? Rarity told me I was going to meet an business pony here who wanted to franchise the Cakes' enterprise."
Twilight raised an eyebrow of her own. "But . . . if it wasn't me, and it wasn't you, then who was-" Twilight fell silent as a realization washed over them both.
"Spike." They both realized with a growl.
As if on cue, Spike came waddling towards their table. He was dressed in waiter's outfit, wearing a chef's hat and fake mustache. "Bonjour, ladies! Can I take your order?"
Twilight and Pinkie glared him. "Um, yes." Twilight said with a faked hesitance. "One order of "What's going on here?" with a side of "What the hay were you thinking!?", please!"
"I'm sorry, miss, but I don't dink we 'ave those dishes." Spike said.
Twilight slammed her hoof on the table. "Take the mustache off, Spike."
"I don't know what you're talking about, miss." Spike said.
"That's it!" Twilight lunged over and grabbed the mustache with her hooves, yanking on it and trying to pull it off. "Let- go, Spike!"
"Let go of what?" Spike asked, walking up to the table, not wearing any clothes, hats, or mustaches.
"W-what?" Twilight blinked, seeing double. Even Pinkie was confused. There was Spike, and then there was a waiter who looked exactly like him, dressed like waiter and with a mustache.
"Say!" Spike said, turning to his doppelganger. "Who's this handsome fellow?" Spike began stroking his chin, admiring the near-perfect copy of himself.
Twilight awkwardly turned from Spike to his waiter doppelganger, who was impatiently glaring at her, waiting of her to let go of his mustache.
"Eh-heh-heh. Forgive me, sir. I . . . thought you were my friend here trying to pull . . . a prank on me, yes." She gestured to Spike, then let go of the copy's mustache, mussing it with her hoof until it looked presentable.
"I shall get another waiter for you." The not-Spike growled, huffing and turning away. Twilight and Pinkie didn't the actual Spike follow him around a corner.
"I . . . guess he didn't set this up." Twilight admitted, looking towards Pinkie. Pinkie shrugged, as confused as Twilight was.
On the other side of the restaurant, by the bathroom doors, the two Spikes conversed.
"Oh man! The look on her face! That was perfect!" Spike laughed. "Uh, you can take the costume off."
The not-Spike put his claws over his head, and lifted it up to reveal Sweetie Belle's head underneath. Sweetie Belle continued to get out of her costume, revealing that she was wearing stilts to simulate walking on two legs.
"Great!" Spike gave Sweetie Belle a pat on the back. "You did perfect, Sweetie Belle. Twilight will never realize it was me who set them up! Haha! You can go now."
Sweetie Belle saluted, then left the restaurant, doing her best to avoid detection by the two mares of the hour.
"So . . ." Pinkie said, trying to make with the small talk now they were here. " . . . read any good books lately?"
"A few. One on string theory, a few on . . . relationships." Twilight looked away, dimly aware of the implications of what she just said.
Pinkie sunk into the back of her chair. "There you go again, Twilight. A relationship isn't something you can just . . . control with diagrams and theories like you can control a science experiment!"
"You think I don't know that!?" Twilight shot back. "You don't think that after everything we've- I'VE been through with you, you don't think I know the difference between science and an experiment?"
"No, Twilight, I don't!" Pinkie roared, slamming her hooves on the table.
"Well, fine!" Twilight roared back, doing the same. "And I suppose you don't think I've learned ANYTHING about relationships from our time together, do you!?"
"No!"
"Well, isn't that great!? Miss "Perfect Pinkie" doesn't think little Tiny Twilight can learn from her mistakes!" Twilight growled. "Mistakes like lying to Spike and being a little sexually forward! Mistakes like getting hooked up with you in the first place! "
Pinkie gasped, genuinely hurt. She slowly brought her hoof to her chin. "D-do you mean that, Twilight?" A tear seemed to form in her left eye. "W-was I that bad?"
Twilight pointed her hoof, ready to fire another volley of insulting words, but seeing Pinkie's expression. "I . . . no, Pinkie, you weren't that bad. You did what you thought was the right thing to do at the time, and I can't blame you for that. I . . ." Twilight looked at Pinkie again, and she saw her the way she used to, before that date with the business pony. Before Twilight . . . confessed. Back when Pinkie still haunted her dreams and nightmares. "AAAGH!" Twilight turned around and collapsed belly-up on the table. "WHY . . . are you so pretty?"
Pinkie giggled. "It's because of my cotton candy hair!" Pinkie cheered. She looked down and blushed. "You . . . don't look too bad yourself."
Twilight's eyebrows shot up. "Really? You mean that?"
"Well . . . yeah." Pinkie admitted. "Even before we started dating, I've . . . always liked your mane."
"R-really?" Twilight stuttered. "No pony's ever told me they like my mane before . . ."
"And . . ." Pinkie rubbed the back of her neck. "To be honest, Twilight, I was starting to learn some good lessons from you."
"Oh? Like what?"
"Well . . . to be a bit more orderly, and . . . a little less messy, for one thing." Pinkie admitted. "I guess I could stand to have more structure in my life . . ."
"And I could stand to have more spontaneity in my life." Twilight admitted.
"Hhm . . ." Pinkie admitted, smiling softly. Twilight returned the smile for a minute.
"And . . . it's so cute how you always get wrapped in a good book." Pinkie added.
"And it's wonderful watching you go about cheering ponies up and making them happy." Twilight added.
"And it's fun helping you learn new things to write to the Princess about . . ." Pinkie added.
"And its nice having an employee discount at Sugarcube Corner." Twilight joked, earning a laugh from both of them. They finished the laugh, then sat there in awkward silence for a minute. Twilight sniffed, thinking of everything Pinkie had done to her in the last 48 hours . . . and everything Pinkie had done for her the last two weeks. Twilight didn't know it, but Pinkie was having a similar thought process; it wasn't Twilight's fault she was borderline crazy. And Pinkie knew several phrases about the blindness and unpredictability of love.
They both sniffed one more time, before their whirling, mixed emotions got the best of them. Twilight rolled over and lunged over the table onto Pinkie, wrapping her front legs around her. Pinkie, without even thinking about it, did the same.
"PLEASE TAKE ME BACK, SWEETIE! " They screamed in unison. All of the restaurant's other patrons turned to stare at them.
"Eh-heh." Twilight laughed nervously while a thin blush painted both her and Pinkie's cheeks. "Move along, folks! Nothing to see here!" With a little convincing, Twilight was able to get all those peering eyes off them, and planted a big one on Pinkie's lips.
"Mmmm." Pinkie moaned, genuinely enjoying it. Twilight pulled away, and they lowered their eyelids at each other.
"So, does that mean you forgive me?" Pinkie asked arrogantly.
Twilight flushed, but held strong. "Do you forgive me ?"
Pinkie giggled. "Of course I do . . ." Pinkie cupped Twilight's cheek. "Sweetie."
Twilight smiled brightly.
Spike was in the library, sitting on a chair, reading a book about gems and how to get the maximum flavor out of them. He heard the door swing open, and instantly tossed his book aside, scampering to the door. Twilight and Pinkie had come home.
"So how did it go?" Spike asked, putting his claws together.
"It went fine." Twilight answered, taking Pinkie into her hoof. They shared a nuzzle, which made Spike want both coo and gag at the same time. "Pinkie and I made up."
"And then we made out." Pinkie coyly added.
"And then we made out." Twilight reservedly admitted.
"So . . ." Spike drawled. "Everything's fine, then?"
"Yeah . . . well, almost." Twilight narrowed her eyes at him, and Pinkie did the same. Twilight began pacing the room like a predator on the hunt. "Except for the tiny little fact that you set us up!"
"What!?" Spike exclaimed, partly out of feigned shock, partly of genuine shock. That bit with Sweetie Belle in costume pretending to be him was supposed to persuade them both he had nothing to do with it!
"I saw Sweetie Belle getting out of her costume." Twilight explained.
"Oh." Spike replied. "Ooooh . . ."
"I appreciate you trying to get us back together, Spike." Twilight said. "I really do. But setting us up like that was a serious violation of both of our trusts, and disregard for our feelings!"
"Come on, Twilight!" Spike groaned. "You should have seen yourself! You were wasting away without her!"
"I know, I know." Twilight said, holding a hoof out. "But Pinkie and I had a long talk about it, and we came to a conclusion. The only proper punishment . . . is a spanking."
Spike's eyes bugged out. "What!?" He turned to Pinkie, who had saved him last time Twilight wanted to spank him. "Pinkie, aren't you going to do something!?"
"No." Pinkie said, resting her head on her hoof. "Honestly, Spike, I think you need to be taught a lesson about respecting other ponies' feelings . . . I don't think spanking is the best way to do that, to be sure, but I couldn't offer anything better. But it's just this once, Spike. Look at this way; you're getting your most severe punishment now because I'm fully integrated into the family, your punishments are going to be a lot less harsher, so one last hurrah for Twilight's stricter methods!"
Twilight glared at Pinkie. "What does that mean, "stricter methods"!?" Pinkie grinned. "Never mind. Bend over, Spike."
Spike sighed and turned around resigning to his fate. He supposed he may as well let Twilight get in her one last use of the strictest punishment ever.
Twilight picked up him with magic, presenting his buttocks towards herself.
Spike closed his eyes, bracing for impact. A moment later, he heard a solid "thunk" . . . but he didn't feel a thing.
"Is-is it over?" Spike asked, trying to around. Twilight's magic dissipated around him, and he fell to the floor. He righted himself and turned around, to see Twilight's clutching her red, raw, throbbing hoof.
"Yes, Spike." Twilight let out a pained groan. "It's over."
"Ooh, baby!" Pinkie ran up to Twilight and brought the raw hoof over to her. "What did you do?"
"Dragon . . . scales." Twilight groaned out. She covered her face in shame. "I forgot to take into account the dragon scales!"
"So, so let me this straight," Spike said, struggling to hold back his laughter. "By spanking me, you hurt your hoof on my scales . . . while I didn't feel a thing!?" Spike fell over with laughter now freely flowing from his vocals.
"Ha ha ha. Yes. By spanking you, all I do is hurt myself. Yeah. Great lesson to write to the Princess. Now can we please focus on fixing my throbbing hoof!?"
"You want me to kiss it and make it better?" Pinkie earnestly offered.
"No! I'm not a foal, Pinkie Pie-!" Pinkie gave a disbelieving stare. Twilight blushed and turned away. "Yes."
Pinkie brought the hoof to her mouth and gave it a smooch. Twilight didn't understand, but her hoof did start to feel better.
"Heh. Kissing it to make it feel better?" Spike mocked. "What are you, children?"
Twilight gave him a harsh, unforgiving stare, but Pinkie cupped Twilight's cheek and made Twilight look at her. Twilight lightened up, and they all shared laughter.
Author's Note
Wow. I think this the absolute shortest time between updates for His Vector Grey.
It's the anniversary of Her Void Pink's Chapter 9! Whoo!
A few things I want to note:
Waaay back when I first started this, I said in the Author's Notes that I was "Mentioning A Chink In The Armor a lot . . . leading up to something? Naw, couldn't be!" Now, at the time, this was hinting at a rewrite of A Chink In The Armor . . . which I have since decided to not do, since I hate that story and want it to die. In a fire on a bus that crashes into a train and is then sucked in a swirling vortex of raw hate.
Also, when I first uploaded this story, I included in the summary " . . . and Twilight keeps trying to use science." There was going to be a few subplots of Twilight attempting to use science to somehow further her and Pinkie's relationship by making various devices of questionably practicality. (one of them was "going to make them love each other even more" 'cause . . . you know, she's Twilight, she doesn't "get" that relationships don't work that way.)
There is one last chapter left to go in this story before its finished, done, over.
And, most sadly . . . I hope 2014 to be my last writing fanfiction (or at least Pony Fanfiction). I'm in college, on and off again. I'm on my way to adulthood. And I want to become a professional writer, writing my own stories , building my own worlds one day, and I'm not sure I can do that if I keep coming back to write fanfiction revolving around Ponies.
And also, I am *very highly skeptical* that there will be a Season 5.
Dragon's Breath: Extinguishing
“Well.” Twilight said, draping a hoof around both Pinkie's and Spike's shoulders. “It's late. We should get to bed.”
“We should.” Pinkie agreed.
They all went up to their bedroom, and for the first time, after so long of waiting and wanting, Twilight had Pinkie sleep in her bed . . . not as a friend, but as a lover. As a member of her family. And she didn't have to hide it from Spike anymore. Not that she needed to in the first place, but Pinkie and Spike had finally convinced her of that.
“Sweet dreams, Spike.” Twilight wished as she held the blanket for Pinkie to crawl in.
“Good night, Twilight.” Spike muttered as he buried himself in his basket. He yawned. “Ooh, between everything you and Pinkie have been doing and me getting you girls back together, I'm swamped . . .” He pulled his blanket down hard over his eyes, too tired to even give Pinkie Pie a proper goodnight.
Twilight and Pinkie giggled at him. They looked to each other. Twilight cupped Pinkie's cheek. “Good night to you too, my sweet princess.”
Pinkie gave an Eskimo kiss in return. “And sweet dreams to you too, my ook-squirmy-book-wormy!”
“”Ook-squirmy?” That's not a real word. Pinkie, are you even trying . . . oh, never mind. Good night!” Twilight insisted and rolled around until she deep under the covers.
Spike wasn't asleep for very long before he was roused awake by the click of hooves on wood. “Hmm?” Popping out of his covers like a gopher from its hole, Spike turned to see Pinkie trying to make her way out of Twilight's bed. His eyes widened.
Pinkie's eyes widened, too, when she saw that Spike had noticed her. Pinkie made a shush gesture at him, covering her lips with her hoof. “Shhh!”
Spike nodded, and Pinkie slowly made her way to him. She stopped constantly, checking over her shoulder to makes sure Twilight was still in her bed. The blanket heaved up and down with the sound of Twilight's content snores.
“Hey, Spike.” Pinkie whispered in a quiet, hoarse voice.
“What are you doing!?” Spike whispered back in a snapping tone. “Was everything I did not enough!? Are you still leaving Twilight?”
“Ssh.” Pinkie put her hoof to Spike's mouth to silence. “I've been thinking . . . I . . . hurt Twilight really bad after what I said and not trusting her. And then you came and told me she was telling the truth. I'm . . . just going to find something to make it up to her, okay?” She smiled reassuringly.
“Okay . . .” Spike answered nervously, going back to his position. “But what if Twilight wakes up before you're back?”
“Tell her I went down to get a glass of water.” Pinkie told him. “I want this to be a surprise, so the less she knows the better.”
“Ugh. Fine.” Spike pulled his blanket over him.
“Thank you, Spike.” Spike watched as Pinkie Pie descended down the stairs, watching as the pink bush that was her tail sunk into the lower floor. Spike rolled around, eager to get comfy and go to sleep after the long night he'd been having.
Sadly, although he got to sleep, he was just as soon awoken by the sound of something hitting a soft something.
“Uugh!” He groaned, throwing his blanket down and standing up his basket. “What now?” He scanned the room, only finding the source of the noise when he saw Twilight whimpering in her sleep and patting the empty space where Pinkie Pie was. It seemed that even when she wasn't conscious, she could still sense whether Pinkie Pie was or was not with her. Spike pursed his lips. If he didn't do something, Twilight couldn't get back to sleep.
Spike literally tapped his head for ideas, knocking on his noggin. Sighing, he climbed onto Twilight's bed and got himself under Twilight's leg. Twilight, mistaking his mass for Pinkie Pie's (as Spike fully expected she would) curled her leg around his body and pulled him tight. Twilight made a noise of contentment.
Spike exhaled sharply, relieved he wouldn't have to put up with more nonsense. As long as Pinkie was back before Twilight woke up, it would all be fine.
Twilight purred a bit and cuddled up against, eventually nuzzling their noses together. Spike broke into a cold sweat.
“Hmm?” Twilight questioned, brushing her nose up and down his face. “Hmm?”
Oh, brother. Spike thought. Here we go again.
Twilight's eyes opened wide. She looked at Spike plainly. “You're not Pinkie Pie.”
Spike rolled his eyes. “No. No, I am not.”
Twilight threw her blanket off and glared at him. “Where's Pinkie Pie, Spike?”
“I don't know.” Spike answered . “She told me to tell you she was getting a glass of water.”
“Well, go find her!” Twilight barked, pointing at the stairs. She curled her hooves upon her chest and became less agitated and more worried. “I can't sleep if I don't know where my Pinkie Pie is!”
“Calm down, calm down.” Spike hopped off the bed and went to downstairs. “I'll go find her.”
“Thank you, Spike.” Twilight told him, wrapping her blanket up to her chest and sounding like a scared child. “But make it quick!” She yelled at him.
“Ugh.” Spike muttered, the floorboards creaking beneath him in the silence of the night. “Dissociative personality disorder much?” He quipped to himself.
He knew he wouldn't find Pinkie Pie in the library. Aiming for practicality, He went to the middle of the foyer and barely looked around, pretending to search the room. He turned around and yelled at upstairs. “She's down here, getting a glass of water like I said!”
“Are you sure?” Twilight yelled back with uncertainty.
“Yes, I'm sure!” Spike yelled back, blinking his sleepy eyes. “She'll be back up in a minute!” Spike whipped around to climb back up the stairs, only to collide facefirst with Twilight's chest.
“Gosh, Spike, are you really sure?” Twilight asked him, tapping her chin. “Because I was just in the kitchen, and you know what wasn't in there?”
Spike sighed. “Pinkie Pie getting a glass of water?”
“Very good, Spike!” Twilight told him cheerily. “Remind me to give you a treat later for getting that right on the first try! But for now . . .” Twilight got in his face, touching their noses again and she glared. “I'm going to punish you for SOMEHOW LOSING MY PINKIE!”
“Buh.” Spike moaned. He wasn't in the mood for this. He just wanted to go to sleep and get some rest. If he could just do that, he'd put up whatever insane punishment Twilight wanted to put him through (which he was sure made perfect sense in her mind) TOMORROW. But right now, he just wanted to go to bed!
“Yes, yes. Okay, fine, whatever, I lost your Pinkie.” Spike agreed. “Can I go back to bed now?”
“That's right!” Twilight snapped, pulling away. “You lost my Pinkie and – wait, what did you say?”
“I said I lost your Pinkie because I just want to go to bed!” Spike snapped, hopping in the air. Twilight stuttered, waving her hoof like she was a malfunctioning robot. It didn't take long for Spike to figure out that her problem was that she didn't know how to process the fact that he was agreeing to her incomprehensible, often contradictory Pinkie-lust fueled logic.
“Uh, buh, but, buh . . . “ Twilight stammered.
Spike continued up the stairs, stopping when he heard a thump. Twilight had curled up on the floor.
“Oh, Pinkie Pie, where are you?”
Spike watched her stroke her tail for comfort before shaking his head and resuming his pace up the stairs. Pinkie had told him to to keep a secret, and he blew it, so now he was going to go to bed. . . .
Actually, nuts to this. This kind of Orthus-faced secret-keeping was the exact reason for the debacle that happened tonight. He had been suffering for Twilight's insecurities for this entire week, and then he went through tonight and he went got them back together after their relationship imploded! He had served his role as the hero of the story! He should get his rest by now, going and collapsing into his basket. Meanwhile the narration would turn the page and move on to an epilogue of their relationship, forgetting about him . . . and in the process, letting him rest easy and get back to his normal routine.
Spike climbed down to the bottom of the stairs, sliding his hand on the rail. “Twilight?”
“Yes?”
“Pinkie Pie left earlier. She told me she was going to get you a surprise because she felt bad about not believing you when you told her we left each other on good terms. If you woke up before you got back, she told me to just tell you she was getting a glass of water. I don't know where she is, where she went, or what she's doing.”
Twilight gasped, putting her hooves to her cheeks in horror. “Oh no! My poor Pinkie Pie! She could be out there, alone in the cold, dark night! Spike, we have to find her before she gets hurt!”
Spike, fed up, stomped his foot. “No. No, what you mean, Twilight is “poor you ,” and “stallions might be able to hit on Pinkie Pie if you don't have an eye on twenty-four seven,” and “we have to find her before she finds another potential mate because I'm not secure enough in my own ability to maintain a relationship!””
Twilight sat there open-mouthed. “But . . . but-”
“No buts, Twilight!” Spike swiped his claw through the air. “I don't care! I'm not suffering anymore just because of your own emotional insecurities! You want to know where Pinkie Pie is, go find herself! But right now, I am GOING . . . TO BED. I've had a long day, a long week, and I just want to rest a little bit. I''ll . . . make pancakes or something for us in the morning, but for right now. . . . BED.” Spike pointed upwards and marched up to bed.
Twilight sat there, dumbfounded. After regaining her senses, she trotted to the kitchen and pulled out a spoon from the silverware drawer. She held it high in the air with her magic, just so she could gaze into it and see her reflection while she reflected over what Spike said.
The door to the Carousel Boutique opened slowly with a CREEEAK like a movie. Pinkie Pie made her way inside, gently pushing the door shut with her hind leg. She looked around for signs of Rarity. She heard muttering coming from the kitchen and went in there.
Rarity was crouched under her dining room table, levitating a roll of duct tape. The table itself had been duct taped straight down the middle, right where Twilight had cracked it earlier.
“Mm, yes, well, not perfect, I suppose.” Rarity mumbled, rapping on the table to gauge its sturdiness. “But it'll have to do until tomorrow. Where I am going to get a repairmare during this time of night?”
“Rarity?”
“Oh!” Rarity yelped, caught by surprise. She banged her head on the table. “Ow!” Ignoring it, she got out to see Pinkie. “Pinkie Pie? Why, whatever are you doing at this late hour?”
Pinkie looked down. “Well, um . . . you remember me telling you about my . . . boy friend awhile back?”
“Why, of course!” Rarity answered, becoming concerned. “What's wrong? Having relationship trouble?”
“You . . . could say that.” Pinkie mumbled. “I've been trying to get . . . him to do something for awhile now . . . and just today, when he told he finally did it . . . I . . I didn't believe him. We . . . nearly broke up because of it.”
“Ooh.” Rarity cooed. She used her magic to pull Pinkie Pie close to her. “Tell me all about it."
“Well, actually . . .” Pinkie brightened up a little. “We worked everything out, but . . . I didn't believe him when it really mattered, and I . . . I want to apologize for that. But I can't just throw a party like I normally do when I'm stuck for ideas! It needs to be something special! Something I can do that nopony else can give him! Any ideas?”
Rarity tapped her chin, lips puffed and eyelids lowered in thought. She swiftly made a smile. “I have just the thing! Do you remember about a week or so ago when you came in to ask about your boyfriend, and you didn't know what I meant when I talked about “the bedroom”?”
Pinkie was confused. “Well, yeah, but what does that -”
“Come with me.” Rarity gestured, making a dash for her stairs. “I am going to show what I was talking about.”
Pinkie Pie did not share Rarity's enthusiasm.
“Come on!” Rarity encouraged before going up the stairs. Pinkie braced herself and followed. Rarity was able to use the lead time she had on Pinkie to get her room first, and Pinkie found herself greeted by a closed door.
“Just a minute . . . I need to set the mood, as it were!” Rarity called. “Okay . . .now!”
Pinkie pushed the door open, and what she saw wasn't particularly clear. Rarity was on her bed, wearing a maroon bathrobe. Candles were lit up on her nightdesk, giving an aura about the room.
“Uhh . . . Rarity?” Pinkie questioned.
“Come, come.” Rarity gestured, patting the empty space next to her.
Pinkie Pie started sweating. “We're . . . not going to do anything to each other, are we? Because I think my . . . boyfriend might have a problem with that!”
“What? Oh, no, no, darling!” Rarity held her hooves. “While it's best to learn from experience, we're not going to be doing to each other because we . . .” her horn lit up, and a swarm of books flew out from under her bed. “Are going to have these between us! You, Pinkie Pie, will be learning from the masters of their craft!”
Pinkie blinked. “Your trashy romance novels?” Pinkie didn't really have an opinion on Rarity's romance novels, but she had heard Applejack calling them “trashy” more than once, so she just blurted it out. Twilight had also told her that they “were barely literature, using sexually-charged situations and descriptions to mask its utterly generic characters and lack of plot.”
Whatever that meant. Pinkie wasn't a book critic.
“Trashy!?” Rarity screeched.
Pinkie smiled nervously. “Um, um, I didn't mean it! It's just, I heard Applejack calling them that and -”
Rarity glared. “Do you want my help or not?”
“No no no no!” Pinkie stammered. “I want it!”
“Then come over here . . .” Rarity pointed at her bed. “Lay down, and read these “trashy” romance novels.” Pinkie Pie did as instructed, hopping onto the bed and taking one of the books off its magically-conducted shelf of air.
“Ooh! Good choice. Go ahead and skip to . . . about page 247, darling.”
“Okay.” Pinkie did just that. As she read the page, a blush crossed her cheeks. “Oh my.”
“Yes. Steamy, isn't it?
“Can you . . .” Pinkie put a hoof on one passage and held the book towards Rarity. “Can you really do that?”
“I imagine so, with the right tools . . .”
“And then this part!” Pinkie stammered. “That's – oof!”
“I know! Isn't it fabulous! ”
One thing became clear to Pinkie; she was going to be learning a lot of things like this during the night . . .
As promised, the next morning Spike was up making pancakes. He knew what he said last night to Twilight had been out of line, coming from child to parent. Even though it was something that needed to be said, coming from “sane person” to “person who had been reduced to a schizophrenic, psychotic wreck from their lust.”
“Alley-oop!” Spike exclaimed to himself, flipping a pancake up in the air. With the pancake done, he lifted the skillet and plopped it onto the plate. “Keep 'em coming, Owloyicous!”
“Hoo!” The owl responded affirmatively.
Over the sizzle of the cooking mix, Spike could hear footsteps. He saw Twilight come down from the stairs and enter the room.
“Hey.” Twilight greeted, looking sullen.
“Good morning to you, too!” Spike half-sarcastically replied. But only half. “Did you get a good sleep last night?”
“Not really.” Twilight answered, taking a seat at the table. She put her hooves on her cheek. “I thought about what you said last night. About me . . . about my insecurities.”
Spike sighed. Turning to her, he took off his chef's hat and held it over his chest. “Okay, Twilight, I know you probably want to tell me all about how it was out-of-line for me to yell at you like that -
“You were right.”
“But you need to understand something about how I've been feeling-”
“Spike, I SAID you were right!”
“-these last few days and – wait, what?” Spike adopted a confused face.
“You were absolutely right.” Twilight admitted, looking down at the table instead of facing him. “Almost everything that's gone wrong was because of my insecurities. Because I can't stand to let Pinkie Pie away from me for any more than a second. And I know it's wrong. And I know I need . . . to fix it . . .” Twilight started to cry and blubber. “But I just can't! ” She slammed her face into the table, covering her head with her legs.
“It's so hard! I've wanted her for so long, Spike! And now that I finally have her, after so many weeks of wanting her, I can't let her go! I can't let be somewhere where she might, just MIGHT find somepony else! Somepony whose . . . . strong and patient, and isn't a deranged, crazy love-FREAK like I am!”
She pulled her face up, letting Spike see the thick, cerulean tears down her face. “I've never . . . I've never felt this way about anypony before, Spike. And if she left me . . .if she found somepony else, I don't think I could again! NOW do you see why I'm so paranoid!? She's . . . everything to me. She's that one, unsolvable mystery that tells me being a scientist is worthwhile, because I could solve every scientific mystery in Equestria . . . and still have one left over, in her . . . and you . . . all the abuse you had to put up with recently . . . I just - it– I'm sorry!”
Twilight reburied her head in her legs, sobbing uncontrollably.
“Woof.” Spike muttered to himself, turning back to the skillet. “I thought I had it rough.” Moving quietly, he carefully fit some of the pancakes on a plate and scooted the plate to Twilight until it bumped her knee.
“Hm?” Twilight stopped crying and pulled up to see the pancakes in front of her. The aroma of freshly-baked dough was powerful enough to get her to forgot her troubles. “Thank you, Spike.” She reached over and rubbed Spike's chest. “You're an excellent Number One Assistant.”
“Yeah, well . . . I couldn't have done without my number one assistant.” Spike pointed to the mixing bowl, where Owloyicous was perched with an egg in his beak and chef's hat on his head.
“Hoof.” His hoot sounded different through the egg. Lifting up slightly, he dropped the egg from his beak into his talons, then used his talons to pry it apart, dropping the yolk in.
Twilight giggled. “It's good to see you two getting along.”
They heard the creak of the main foyer's door open. Twilight's first instinct was to throw her fork down and bolt to see if it was Pinkie, but she caught sight of Spike glaring at her disapprovingly. After a moment of awkwardness, she sat still and twiddled her fork into the pancakes like a child that had just been caught in the cookie jar.
“Hey, guys.” Pinkie waved as she stepped into the room. “I'm back. What's goin' on?”
“Spike and Owloyicous made pancakes.” Twilight pointed the fork at her two chefs.
Pinkie nodded. “Oh, is that right? Hmm-hmm. Well, that's nice.” She seemed very skittish today. Almost bashful, even, and that wasn't right. Pinkie Pie had no sense of shame when it came to things that Twilight and Rarity would die of embarrassment from. She never got bashful.
“Pinkie?” Twilight asked. “Is everything all right?”
“Oh, yeah! Everything's just super-duper dory! Say, Spike? Could I get a plate of those pancakes?”
“Coming right up!” Spike tossed his spatula into the air to show off. He made Pinkie's plate, and Pinkie began to wolf down the food. Not in her usual, “Pinkie has a black hole for a stomach and a vacuum for a mouth” way, but in a hurried, rushed, “I really have somewhere I need to be” way.
“Are you sure everything's okay, Pinkie?” Twilight asked. “You're eating . . . well, not like Pinkie."
“Yeah, sure, absolutely!” Pinkie assured them between bites. That also wasn't right. Normally, she'd just talk with her mouth full.
“Pinkie, are you sure -” Twilight started to ask again, but Pinkie finished her food and jumped from her chair. She grabbed Twilight's hoof and dragged her out of the room.
“Hmm. Well, that was weird.” Spike observed, but he merrily went back to making more pancakes.
“Pinkie, where are we going?” Twilight questioned, as Pinkie steered them into their extra bedroom that they used for cuddling and other romantic stuff. Pinkie swung Twilight around and hurled her onto the bed. Twilight landed face-first into the pillow. She pushed herself up and rolled over.
“Pinkie?” Twilight questioned,
“I was over at Rarity's last night.” Pinkie answered, like that explained anything. “We read a bunch of books, and I learned lots of things I could do to make it up to you for not believing you last night.” Pinkie crawled onto the bed, climbing over Twilight like a reptilian predator.
Twilight blushed. “Oh, Pinkie, you don't have to do that . . . besides, if we suffer as much as we did this week, largely because of me, as Spike so wonderfully made me realize, and I get what I want from the whole thing anyways . . . how I am supposed to learn my lesson?”
“Well, that's just it, Sparkly!” Pinkie chirped. “In my mind, you have learned your lesson, so you deserve a treat . . . and something to make up for the way I treated you last night.”
“You really don't need to do that.” Twilight urged. “After everything I said and did, I couldn't have given you less reason to believe me. And besides, Spike had to do a lot. He deserves a reward, not me.”
“We'll get to him.” Pinkie assured her with a pat on the chest. “But for right now, I'm making things up to you.”
“Pinkie Pie, you don't - “
Pinkie Pie shut her up by curling around and exhaling hot breath onto the back of Twilight's neck.
“Oooh . . .” Twilight moaned. “Pinkie, I still don't . . I mean, I want it, sure, but do I really deserve it?” Pinkie nibbled Twilight's ear and curled her tail around Twilight's hind leg, slithering her poofy tail up Twilight's hind leg like a snake after its prey. “And – and you know I freeze up when you kiss me. What's going to happen if we get . . . intimate?”
In the other room, Spike was humming to himself as he finished off the last batch of pancakes. He, like any good chef, saved the best for last. In this case, that meant the sapphire-infused pancakes were the last batch to be done.
“PINKIEMENIA DIANE PIE, YOU GET YOUR TAIL OUT OF – ooooh . . . ooooooh , that feels good . . .”
Spike stopped. He hopped off his stool and waddled to where he heard the scream come from.
“Hmm. That's strange.” Spike noticed. On the extra bedroom, there was a horseshoe hanging from the door, tied up with a piece of black string.
“Oooh, oooh . . .” Twilight moaned audibly.
“Uuh . . .” Spike knocked on the door. “Is everything all right in there?”
“No!” Twilight shouted. “I mean, yes! Everything's fine! Don't come in! Oooh, oooh MY, Pinkie Pie . . .”
“Are you sure you don't need me to come in?” Spike asked, putting his claw on the doorknob. He never heard Twilight make those sounds before.
“SPIKE THE DRAGON, DO NOT ENTER THROUGH THAT DOOR AT THIS TIME!” Twilight yelled.
“We'll call you!” Pinkie added.
“Okay then.” Spike returned to the kitchen to enjoy his sapphire pancakes.
His eating was interrupted by Twilight letting out a particularly loud, piercing scream/
“Okay, Spike!” Pinkie yelled. “You can come back now!”
Spike scarfed a few more bites of his pancakes, then went to the room and opened the door. Pinkie and Twilight were lying next to each other, Pinkie breathing heavily while Twilight was on her back, legs hung up in the air like a surrendering goat.
“Is everything okay?” Spike asked, confused.
“Everything is just fine.” Pinkie assured him, giving Twilight a romantic look. “Isn't that right, Twilight?”
Twilight made no answer, remaining motionless.
“Wow.” Pinkie muttered, flattering herself. “I didn't think I was that good. I mean, it was my first time after all . . .”
Twilight continued to remain still.
Spike bit his lip.
Pinkie raised her brow. “Uh, Twilight? You can stop now. The joke stopped being funny now.”
Spike tapped his fingers nervously. “Uh, Pinkie Pie? I don't think she's playing a joke . . .”
“Twilight, you can really stop now.” Pinkie insisted. Pinkie pushed her hoof into Twilight's rib, making Twilight rock back and forth like a rocking chair. “Twilight?”
Pinkie grabbed Twilight's shoulders and shook her vigorously.
“TWILIGHT!”
“Well, we've run a few preliminary test.” The doctor who worked at the hospital reported to Pinkie and Spike in the white and blue waiting room.
“And?” Pinkie asked, biting her hooves nervously.
“We couldn't find anything wrong with her physiologically, so Miss Sparkle's problem seems to be psychosomatic.” The doctor answered.
“Well, what does that mean!?” Spike yelled. “It is fixable? Is there a cure?”
“Calm down.” The doctor said. “”Psychosomatic” means there is a physical problem produced by the psyche. Hence, “psychosomatic.” Now, according to our tests,” the doctor flipped a page on his clipboard, “the result of this problem comes from some intense, sexual-romantic attraction Miss Sparkle appears to have. You two wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?”
Pinkie and Spike looked to each other.
“Eeer, no.” Pinkie fibbed, too embarrassed to admit anything. Surely she could work something out later with Spike in secret to fix Twilight themselves?
“Now, as to whether or not there's a cure . . . we have three options. First, I could give her some pills . . .”
“My parents put me on some pills once.” Pinkie said spaciously. “I spent the whole day in bed, muttering about how Princess Celestia was a cruel despot and that Equestria was a horrible, horrible place. Then they took me off them.”
The doctor regarded Pinkie curiously for a moment. “No pills.” He said, scribbling something onto his clipboard. “Option two is that I could smack her upside the head and tell her to just get over whatever's bothering her and hope that works.”
Pinkie grimaced. “Could we try something that sounds less . . . hurty?”
“Or,” the doctor, rolling his eyes. He was clearly tired of answering their questions. “We could just let her stay in bed and hope she's able to work it our herself somehow.”
“Hmm. Okay. Thank you, doctor. Can we see her?” Pinkie asked.
“Sure. Now if you'll excuse me, I have other patients.” The doctor left them, and they went into the room where Twilight was.
There she was, under a bed-cover, in the same position she was when Pinkie called Spike to their room. Her locked-up still hooves poked through the blanket, suspending it in mid-air and preventing it from covering her completely.
“Oh, Twilight . . .” Pinkie moaned, saddened by her friend's loss of motion. She and Spike went up to the bed, where Pinkie patted Twilight's stomach affectionately.
“This is all my fault.” Pinkie whined. “She tried to tell me that getting intimate could do something like this to her!” Pinkie banged her head on the protective railings on the side of the bed.
“Hey now.” Spike tried to console her. “You couldn't have known.”
“Couldn't have I?” Pinkie was on the verge of crying. “She was trying to tell me before we started on the bed . . . reminding how every time I kissed her or cuddled her, she froze up . . . and now, she's frozen for good!”
“You don't know that!” Spike assured her. “Say, what were you two doing anyhow?”
Pinkie's cheeks turned a bright red. “Oh, um . . .you're . . . really not old enough to know that, Spike.”
Spike humphed. “Like I wasn't old enough to know you and Twilight were dating?”
“No, no!” Pinkie told him. “Like, you're really not actually old enough to know about this yet.”
“Hmmp.” Spike looked away, but his attention was caught by the sound of the door creaking open. It was Applejack.
“Hey, y'all.” Applejack greeted. “Came as soon as the doctors lemme know wut happened. Tha' others will be on their way.”
“That's fine.” Pinkie told her.
“So, this is Twilight, huh?” Applejack asked, trotting to the other side of the bed. “Doc say how long it'll be before she gets better?”
Pinkie looked at her. “Eeerr . . . no.”
“Shewt. That ain't a good sign when the docs don't have no estimate.” Applejack noticed Spike. “Hey, Spike. Seeing Twi like this got ya down?”
“Yeah . . .”
“Think y'all need another party at Fluttershy's?” Applejack chuckled.
“Nah, that's okay.”
Applejack brought her hat over her chest, gazing solemnly at Twilight's body. “Well, Ah gotta git back to tha' farm, but everypony will visit when they can, 'kay?”
“Okay.” Spike and Pinkie waved Applejack goodbye.
Pinkie put her legs over the bed's rails. She looked down sadly. “I should probably go, too . . . tell the Cakes what happened. Will you be okay by yourself, Spike?”
“Yeah, yeah, sure.” Spike nodded, still sad.
The door opened again, and this time Rainbow Dash and that raggedy, hat-wearing teen colt she got that guitar from stepped through.
“Hey.” They both said. Rainbow Dash flapped her wings and hovered towards the bed. “Is she doing all right?”
“She's fine as she can be, for now . . .” Pinkie murmured, going into a slump. “The doctor said there wasn't anything to do except let her rest and hope she's get better.”
“Hey!” Dash snapped, going up and smacking Pinkie's cheek. “That's quitter talk!” She cupped Pinkie's cheeks and forced Pinkie to look her in the eye. “Say with it me: “nothing to do except let her rest and wait for her to get better. Because she will get better, okay?”
Pinkie nodded. “Nothing to do except for wait for her to get better.”
“Good.” Dash let Pinkie go and resumed floating above the bed.
The colt put his hooves on Spike's shoulder. “Hey there, little dude.” Spike gave him an obligatory wave, focusing more on Twilight. “Listen,” the colt continued, “I know it can be kinda hard to see your mother in the in hospital like this -”
“She's not my mother!” Spike interjected.
“Uh-huh. I think she is. You know how I know? I had the same look on my face when I watch my mother trip and fall once. Anyways, you just have to hang in there and wait, okay?”
“Okay . . .” Spike droned. He was in no mood for the colt's condolences.
“Come on.” Dash jerked her head towards the door. “We should wait outside. You'll come get me if there's an update, right, Pinks?”
“I'm sure Spike will. I'm going to go tell the Cakes soon.”
“Kay.” Dash and her buddy left the room, leaving Pinkie and Spike alone again.
“Well . . . bye.” Pinkie waved to Spike. “Be good for Twilight.”
“I will.” Spike assured her, taking her hoof into his hands. “I'll be on my best behavior.” Spike saluted, which made Pinkie giggle.
“All right . . . “ Pinkie mumbled as she headed towards the door. Just as she was reaching her hoof for the doorknob, the door swung open, throwing Pinkie Pie onto her flanks. “Ow!”
“Is she all right?” Rarity screeched, galloping to Twilight's bed. “Will she be okay? What happened? Is there somepony at fault? Because if there is, I shall make them pay most dearly!”
“Nopony's at fault.” Pinkie answered, standing up and rubbing her sore head. “Except maybe you for my head . . .” She mumbled, still smarting from the injury.
“Oh, poor Twilight . . .” Rarity cooed, running her hoof over Twilight's head. “She looks like she's seen a cockatrice! But she would be stone if that were the case, wouldn't she?”
“Uh, yeah, sure.” Pinkie mumbled.
Rarity noticed Spike. “Oh. Spike.” Rarity patted his head affectionately. “How are you holding up, darling?”
“I'm okay . . .”
“Hmm.” Rarity looked to Twilight, then back to Pinkie and Spike. “If there's anything I can do, anything at all, you let me know post-haste!” She gave Twilight another pitying rub. “Oh, and by the way . . . Pinkie Pie? How did things go with your boyfriend last night?”
Pinkie flushed. “Oh, um, my boyfriend! That's right! Because I have . . . a boyfriend.”
“A boyfriend?” Spike asked, putting his claws on his and glaring disapprovingly. Pinkie started to sweat nervously.
“Uh, yeah!” Pinkie answered. “Things with my boyfriend . . .”
“Did any of the “tricks” I taught you last night help?” Rarity winked.
“Oh, yes. A lot . . .”
“Excellent! Well now, I'll be off. I'll get some lunch in the cafeteria and join Rainbow Dash.”
“Bye!” Spike put on a cheery air and held the door open for Rarity. He watched to make sure she was gone, then slammed the door. “How could you!?”
“Wha?” Pinkie stepped back.
“All this time, you had a boyfriend!?” Spike yelled, jumping up and down with righteous fury. “What, was dating one pony not good enough for you?”
“Spike -”
“No, I don't wanna hear it!” Spike growled. “Maybe Twilight was right to be so paranoid! And after all that work I did to get you two back to-”
“SPIKE!” Pinkie yelled, shoving her hoof into Spike's mouth. “I called Twilight my boyfriend when talking to Rarity so I could keep the relationship a secret like, oh, I don't know , Twilight wanted ?”
Spike blinked. He nodded to show he understood, as Pinkie's hoof was still in his mouth.
“Good.” Pinkie took her hoof out and rubbed her temples. “Uggh. This is all way too much for me. I'm going to the Cakes before something else happens.” Pinkie hurriedly left the room, leaving Spike alone with Twilight's still body.
Spike went over and sat in the chair of the room, holding his head his claws. He sighed. He wished he knew how he could make Twilight fell better. If she could just learn to let go of Pinkie Pie, maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Wait a minute . . . that was it! Oh, joy of joys! He just hatched a brilliant idea! If only Pinkie Pie hadn't just left. Maybe if he left now, he could still catch up with her and – wait, no, no. Twilight would have to be up and moving for this plan to work.
He sighed again.
The door opened again, and this time, a yellow hoof nervously curled around the door. “H-hello?”
“Come on in, Fluttershy!” Spike gestured his arm for her to come in, even though she was on the other side.
“Oh, hello!” Fluttershy came into the room . . . with Angel following close behind her. Angel's eyes locked onto Spike, glaring at him with a pure hatred. Spike returned the favor. “I hope Twilight gets better soon . . .” Fluttershy reached around her body and pulled out a basket with fruits, candies, and “get well soon” cards. “I brought this for her for when she wakes up.”
“Go ahead and just leave it on the bed.” Spike said. Fluttershy did so, gently nesting next to Twilight's body.
“Oh, you poor dear.” Fluttershy mumbled, taking Twilight's hoof. “I hope you feel better soon! Angel and I will write every day until you get better. Isn't that right, Angel?”
Angel nodded, though he didn't take his gaze off Spike, keeping him engaged in an intense staredown.
“I think I'll go wait outside with the others.” Fluttershy said. “If-if you think you'll be okay by yourself, Spike. Why don't you come join us?”
“Nah. I've been fine in here so far.” Spike was still paying more attention to Angel than to Fluttershy.
“Come on, Angel.” Fluttershy instructed as she daintily moved to the door. She paused, realizing Angel wasn't following her. “Angel, aren't you coming?”
Angel shook his head no. He gestured with his little bunny paw for Fluttershy to come down. Fluttershy bent over and listened as Angel whispered into her ear.
“Oh, you want to stay in here with Spike?” Angel nodded, while Spike grimaced. “Well, I'm sure he would be fine with that, wouldn't you, Spike?”
Spike wanted to say “Absolutely not! Are you out of your mind?” with probably a few more profanities and comparisons between Angel and various monsters of the Everfree. But Fluttershy was looking at him so happily, he couldn't bring himself to say no to her sweet, innocent face.
“Yes, that would be fine.” Spike answered, even though it was the biggest lie he had ever told. Forgot anything he had told Twilight or Pinkie or Rarity this last week, or last month, or anything he had ever said in his short life thus far: that was the biggest lie he ever said.
“Oh, good.” Fluttershy left the room. Spike resumed a glare with Angel.
“All right, bunny.” Spike growled, pointing at the ground. “Let's lay down some ground rules. I don't like you, and you don't like me, so – wait . . .” Spike was confident in his ability to put the rabbit in his place, but now he noticed that the ironically-named bunny was smirking. “What are you smiling about?”
Angel pulled out a red monkey wrench, a water balloon, and a miniature chalkboard with drawings on it. Spike was confused. Angel set the other tools aside and held the chalkboard up, tapping his paw on one aspect of it.
Spike came closer, and scrutinized the board. It appeared to have chalk drawings of himself, Angel, Twilight, Twilight's hospital bed, wires, and the hospital door, as well as the wrench and balloon.
“You're gonna . . .” Spike muttered. Angel traced the drawings in a distinct order, allowing Spike to puzzle together what it was. “Sabotage the hospital equipment with the wrench and balloon . . . . sabotage Twilight's bed . . .” Angel nodded at Spike's progress. “ . . And then get me thrown of the hospital for throwing you in the river earlier this week!”
Angel gave an evil, evil grin and nodded, rubbing his bunny paws together like an old cartoon villain.
"Ooh," Spike groaned, putting his claws together. "Please don't! You can get revenge on me later, but I really, really need to stay with Twilight right now!"
Angel shrugged as if to say "Sorry!" even though there was no way he was sorry about it at all.
Spike bit his nails as Angel picked the wrench back up. The wrench glowed purple, and was lifted out Angel's paws. It was then swung around and used to smack Angel on the head. The balloon was lifted up and thrown at the bunny. Angel put his paws on his head, now suffering from head pains. His own body was enveloped in the same magical glow and made to smash against the floor, repeatedly. Then a laser beam came from nowhere and blasted him out of the room. Spike heard a solid “THUNK” from the other room and some skidding.
“Oh my goodness!” Fluttershy's voice carried over from the other room. “Angel, what happened!?”
Spike peeked through the door, then looked around the room. Twilight's forelegs were wobbling around the bed's rails like worms. She pushed herself up, shaking groggily. She looked like a drunken vampire stumbling out of its coffin. Her horn was smoking.
“I don't know what Fluttershy sees in him.” Twilight mumbled, rubbing her horn.
“Twilight!” Spike exclaimed. He hopped onto his bed and embraced her tightly. “You're okay.”
“Yes, Spike.” Twilight smiled. “I'm fine. I normally freeze up when Pinkie kisses me, and . . . “ Twilight rubbed his back comfortingly. “We got a lot more . . . intimate this time, so the “unfreezing” part took a lot longer.”
“What's that mean?” Spike asked. “Intimate?”
Twilight bit her lip. “I'll explain when you're older.”
Spike twiddled his fingers. “Could you . . . hear anything while you were stuck?”
“I heard some of it, yeah.” Twilight answered. “I heard you yelling at Pinkie, Pinkie blaming herself, and you begging Angel not to do . . . something, but knowing that bunny, it couldn't have been good. Oh, and Fluttershy's gift basket.” Twilight levitated out a candy from the basket. “Want a chocolate?”
“Sure!” Spike started to unwrap the chocolate, but that was when he remembered the plan he thought of. “Oh man! My plan!”
“Plan?”
“Wait right here!” Spike jumped off the bed, dropping his chocolate. “Gotta get Pinkie Pie! Hope she's still here!”
“Spike, where are you going?”
“No time to explain!” Spike shouted as he ran out the room. He was able to get to the waiting room and find Rainbow Dash, and after explaining that he needed Pinkie for something, Dash was out of the building like a flash. Rainbow Dash returned with Pinkie in her hooves just as quickly.
“Spike?” Pinkie asked as Dash dropped her. “What's going on? Is Twilight better?”
“Come on!” Spike grabbed Pinkie's hoof and dragged her to Twilight's room, closing and locking the door behind him.
“Twilight!” Pinkie cried with relief. Pinkie jumped on the bed and embraced Twilight tightly.
“Pinkie?” Twilight asked. “What are you doing back here so soon?”
“Spike sent Rainbow Dash to get me as soon as he could!” Pinkie exclaimed, wrapping her legs around Twilight tightly. “Oh, my poor Sparkly . . . I'm so sorry! I should have listened to you when you talked about how you froze . . .”
“It's . . . it's okay, Pinkie Pie.” Twilight nuzzled her. “Really. I'm fine now.”
“Yeah, um, about that.” Spike interrupted. Pinkie and Twilight turned towards him, without separating.
“Now, Twilight . . . I know you find it hard to let Pinkie go at night . . .”
“Mh-hmm. Every moment, every kiss, every touch is like a moment of pure bliss.” Twilight muttered dreamily.
“But I,” Spike gloated, “as an outside observer, can see something you two don't.”
“Oh really?” Twilight asked skeptically.
“Oh?” Pinkie added, more curious than skeptical.
“Pinkie Pie . . . “ Spike said quietly. “You've been enabling Twilight.”
“What!?”
“Yeah, it's true.” Spike nodded. “You're too . . . soft on her, Pinkie Pie. You let her get away with things you shouldn't, you reassure her you're going to come back instead of telling her to pony up and deal with the fact you can't be near her all the time, and you let her sweet-talk you into hiding your relationship for me for who-knows-how long instead of getting her to tell me!”
Pinkie looked down shamefully. “Well, Spike, it's a lot more complicated than that -”
“No.” Twilight shushed Pinkie. “No, he's right. If you were just a bit stricter on me, and if I was just a little less . . . obsessed with you, maybe the rest of the week could have gone better.”
“Right!” Spike agreed. He beat his chest. “And since Twilight doesn't want anypony else to know about your relationship yet, I'm going to be your couples' counselor!”
Twilight and Pinkie gave him odd looks.
“Really.” Twilight was doubtful.
“Really!” Spike answered. “I even have my first exercise for you! Twilight, you need to learn to let Pinkie go.” Spike waved his claw. “Go on. Try it. Let Pinkie Pie go.” It was mostly a symbolic exercise: If Twilight could learn to learn to let Pinkie Pie go physically, then it was just a hop, skip and a jump away from learning to let Pinkie Pie go emotionally and mentally as well.
“Mnnn.” Twilight attempted to take her legs off Pinkie Pie, but her body wouldn't budge, infatuated as it was with the pink flesh.
“Here. I'll help you.” Pinkie offered, moving to pry Twilight's legs off herself.
“No, no!” Spike yelled, waving his claws. “Twilight has to learn how to do it herself, without your help.”
“Mmm.” Twilight whined. She knew Spike was right, but it was so hard. What if something happened to Pinkie? What if . . .
“Come on, Twilight!” Spike encouraged. “You can do it!”
“Mmmh.” Twilight scrunched her eyes shut. “I'm . . . I'm not sure I can, Spike!”
“Come on!” Spike continued to cheer. “You can do it!”
“Uuhh . . . uuuhhh . . . but . . . oh, my Pinkie Pie . . . so soft . . . and pink.” Twilight started to cry.
Pinkie joined in the cheering. “C'mon, Twi! You can do it! You have to!”
“You can do it! It'll all be okay!”
“Just think of how miserable Spike was all week! How miserable WE were this week, having to hide from Spike and our friends! We can avoid that, Sparkly, if you just . . . let . . . go!”
“Hhhhn . . . . nnnn . . . .NYAAAH!” With a tremendous grunt of effort, Twilight was finally able to remove herself from Pinkie Pie's body. She fell backwards with an obnoxiously loud pop and collapsing against the bed, breathing heavily like she had just run a marathon.
Pinkie approached her with some unceratiny, standing over her. “Twilight?”
“Huff . . . huf . . . huf.” Twilight panted. After taking a moment to catch her breath, she stared wide-eyed at the ceiling? “You know what? I feel better . . . I feel better! I had my doubts, but somehow, Spike, your crazy idea worked!”
Spike blew air onto his knuckles, taking it in stride. “It's what I do.”
Pinkie switched back and forth between looking at Spike and at Twilight. “So . . . “
“Pinkie?” Twilight asked.
Pinkie put her hooves together nervously.
Twilight smacked her lips. “Why don't you go home for now? We'll schedule a date later.”
Pinkie was on the verge of tearing up. “Y-you mean it?”
“Yeah.” Twilight smiled. “I'll . . . I'll be fine.”
“Are you sure? I mean, are you sure you stand watching me go -”
“Pinkie. Go.”
Pinkie crawled off the bed, then moved towards the door. She pointed at it. Twilight smiled and nodded, assuring her it was okay and she felt better. Pinkie inched closer to the door.
“Go already!” Twilight snapped.
“Okay . . . see you around, I guess.” Pinkie went through the door, inching it slowly.
“Wait! One more thing, Pinkie. I love you.”
Pinkie paused, staring with bright, wide blue eyes.
“I love you too, Twilight.” Pinkie closed the door.
Spike turned to Twilight. “Well? Anything?”
“N-no.” Twilight answered. “Nothing. No overwhelming desire to chase her, no existential dread without her touch . . . her lovely, soft, pink touch . . .”
“Hey, hey, stop that!” Spike insisted before that train of thought went out of control and undid all his work. They sat in contemplative silence for a few minutes before Twilight spoke again.
“Spike? Would you come over here?”
“Sure.” Spike waddled to her bed. “What'cha ya need?”
Twilight seized him with her telekinesis, then levitated him onto the bed with her. She sat up and scooped him into a deathly tight bearhug.
“While I was frozen, I did a lot of thinking.” Twilight explained, burying her nuzzle into his shoulder. “And I thought about all the times I told Pinkie I loved her, or let her know how much I cared about you, or about how I'd never be able to replace her if she went away.”
“Uh-huh.” Spike nodded. He'd been over this with Twilight already. “And?”
“And it got me thinking . . . I realized that I haven't been telling you any of those things lately.”
“What?”
Twilight took her snout out from his shoulder. “I care about you, Spike. You're like a son to me. And . . . you were basically the first real friend I ever really had. If I lost you . . . if you moved away . . . nopony or nothing would be able to fill the hole in my heart that you would leave behind. When I make a mess in the library, who cleans it up? When I need a book, who fetches it for me? Who calms me down when I start to stress out about Celestia's assignments?”
“Aww.” Spike teared up. “You mean it?”
“Absolutely.” Twilight pulled him into an even tighter hug.
“I love you, Spike.”
“I . . . I love you, too, Twilight.” Spike stammered as he burst into joyful tears.
Author's Note
Well, gaaaawlie, it's been a long time coming, hasn't it?
I would just like to point out that its kinda ridiculous that this story started around the time of the season 3 finale, and then didn't finish until AFTER the SEASON 4 FINALE. GAW.
Now, I may have said this already, but between the update schedule, forgive me if I forgot. One plot idea I had, then abandoned was the idea of “the voices” from Her Void Pink leaping from Pinkie's head to Spike's head, as they were originally from Twilight's head and stopped messing with Twilight when Twilight resolved the issue that was bugging her. They would have lied to Spike and made him suspicious and distrustful of Pinkie and Twilight for kicks and giggles.
I decided, of course, not to do that as it would a) turn the story from an emotional drama to a “we need to save our friends from the demons!” and b) it would have undercut the severity of Twilight's mental state in HVP if it turned out the voices were independent agents with their own agenda instead of products of Twilight's delusion (who were somehow able to transfer to Pinkie . . .)
Yeah . . . back in January, I was getting a pretty good steam rolling on this story . . . did Part 1 and Part 2 of the Finale, then to keep myself from running out of steam, I went to go work on “Unto This White Poison.” My plan was to get back to this story after “Unto,” but before I could get back to this story, my . . . life . . . kinda-sorta *imploded it on itself.*
You know, just a little bit. So I really couldn't work on stories for awhile. I fell sooo far behind on college work, its amazing I got through the semester without a complete F on everything.
But now! Now I'm on Summer Break and have the time for writing stories! And this one is complete! YAY!
