Smokey Arrival

Smokey Arrival
Chapter 5:
So that was the cranking?
Written by: Slayerbrony

Chad blinked and groaned as he sat up. He didn’t feel any pain where he was hit, which made his eyes snap open. What he saw made him freak out slightly. It was just a large white landscape. It was as if someone had taken him and put him in the middle of a sheet of printer paper. It was all just... blank. He blinked as he looked around the plane of non existence.

“... What the heck is this?” he thought out loud. There was the sound of someone walking as he turned his head to see someone coming towards him. The person stopped in front of him, only it wasn’t exactly a person. It looked more like a naked mannequin from a clothing store. “... What the heck are you!?”

“Well... I am your conscience,” it said plainly. Chad made a strange face as he looked over the embodiment before raising a unconvinced eyebrow. “You’re not very creative.”

“Ooooooooh,” Chad said leaning his head back as he nodded in agreement. “So! If you are my conscience, can you tell me where I am?”

“Easy. You’re unconscious, so this is a dream of sorts,” his conscience said as it gestured around the room. “And like I said before: you aren’t very creative.”

“I see that... Could we at least get some chairs and music in here?” Chad asked annoyed. Just as he said that, a large, plush chair and the song ‘In the Ghetto’ by Elvis Presley came on. Nodding in approval, Chad took a seat in the chair and sighed in relief. “For a bland dream, this ain’t so bad.”

“Quite,” his conscience simply replied before it faded out into the same marshmallow white background that surrounded Chad.

“At least I can relax for a bit now...” Chad muttered as he leaned back in the chair.

~=~=~=~=~=~=~
(Twenty Minutes Prior)

“Scootaloo, do you really expect us to believe ya when you say you saw an alien?” Applebloom asked with an unamused tone.

“Or the fact that you made us get up at five in the morning?” Sweetiebelle asked with a small yawn. “We were up till midnight last night trying to see if bat watching was our cutie marks...”

“Girls, I am telling you! I saw an alien walking with Twilight, Rarity, and all the others!” Scootaloo said as she hopped towards the Golden Oaks Library with her friends in tow. “It even had a dragon with it!”

“Oh now you are just making stuff up.” Applebloom stated as she stopped in her tracks.

“Yeah! There is no way an alien would be friends with a dragon.” Sweetiebelle said tiredly as she stopped next to Applebloom.

“If the alien mind controlled it, it would!” Scootaloo retorted turning in place so that her friends could see her ridiculously serious face. Sweetiebelle let out a gasp while Applebloom deadpanned.

“Mind control? Really?” Applebloom said unconvinced. “How do you even know it even has anything like that?”

“How do we know it doesn’t!” Scootaloo shot back, her eyes wide and serious as she stared back at Applebloom. The creamy yellow colored filly began to speak before sighing.

“Fine you have one there, but we still need to see this alien to know if it’s even real,” Applebloom said, still pessimistic. Scootaloo just rolled her eyes as she continued to the library with her friends in tow. As they arrived at the library, the door swung open, making them scramble for a moment and leap into the bushes next to the library’s door.

They all quietly gasped as they saw a large, tan, hairless creature walk out into the sun on it’s back legs with a blue dragon in tow. Twilight and Spike walked and gestured for them to follow as they began to walk through the streets.

“I told you there was an alien!” Scootaloo quietly cheered as her two friends’ jaws dropped.

“Ah don’t believe it...” Applebloom muttered as she saw the bipedal alien walk away.

“It looked like it was making Twilight do something...” Sweetiebelle said as she rubbed her eyes, fully awake at the realization that someone she knew could possibly be in danger.

“Maybe it mind controlled her like it mind controlled the dragon!” Scootaloo gasped out making Applebloom and Sweetiebelle gape in horror.

“We have to go get Applejack!” Applebloom said as she jumped out of the bushes.

“Or Rarity!” Sweetie piped in before jumping out with Applebloom.

“No no, that will take too long...” Scootaloo said as she also jumped out of the bush to her friends.

“Then what do you suggest we do?” Applebloom asked as Scootaloo hummed for a moment before grinning evilly.

“I have just the idea...” The orange pegasus said as she rubbed her hooves together.

~=~=~=~=~=~=~

“Are you sure this will work?” Applebloom asked as the trio pushed the small catapult they used to try and get their cutie marks into Rarity’s home.

“Of course it will! We just put a net in, fire it, capture the alien and save Twilight and Spike!” Scootaloo said as they stopped right in the middle of the hallway. With a few small puffs and pants from the group, Scootaloo looked to the living room of Rarity’s home and found the alien sitting in front of Twilight and Sapphire. Spike nowhere to be seen.

“Where’s Spike?” Sweetiebelle asked as she looked around the room.

“The alien must have ate him!” Scootaloo said abhorrently as she glared at the alien. Applebloom and Sweetiebelle tear up.

“Oh, poor Spike...” Sweetiebelle said mournfully.

“Come on, let’s get this alien before he eats Twilight!” Scootaloo said in a hurrying manner. She and Applebloom began to crank the catapult as Sweetiebelle loaded it. As they finished, Scootaloo looked inside the catapult and tilted her head in wonder. “Sweetie, where is the net?”

“Oh, I lost it, so I thought this would work just as well,” Sweetie said smiling. Scootaloo scratched her head for a moment before shrugging.

“Good enough for me” Scootaloo said as Applebloom grabbed hold of the firing lever. “Fire!”

There was a loud clunk and a whooshing sound as the sandbag was flung and smashed into the alien, sending it forward and skidding a few feet, smashing its head into the floor. The trio cheered as the alien didn’t get up.

“We did it! We got the alien!” They cheered until they saw Twilight’s angry expression glaring at them.

“Um, girls? I don’t think they were being mind controlled now,” Scootaloo said as she was soon brought in front of a angry Twilight. The blue dragon that was with them was now standing next to the alien and growling protectively at them. All three gulped as they had the sudden feeling of dread.

~=~=~=~=~=~=~

Chad was relaxing in the chair, listening to the music he vividly remembered. He let out a small yelp as his conscience appeared in front of him without warning. “Jesus christ!” he shouted as he flipped back in his chair.

“Sorry,” it said as he walked over and helped him up. “And before you start yelling at me, you have to wake up now.”

“Aw man... really? I was enjoying this...” Chad whined as he stood up.

“I know, I am part of your mind, remember? I will see you next time you get knocked out,” it said as Chad looked at it strangely again. He didn’t have a chance to ask anything as he found his vision fading out into black. His sight slowly came back to blurry colors and shapes. In the background of the colors and shapes was a happy and worried voice.

“He is waking up!” The voice belonged to a certain blue dragon that was hovering over him.

“Oh thank Celestia, Chad are you okay?” Twilight asked as her blurred face came into view. He blinked a few times, his vision clearing. Groaning, he brought a hand up to his face. He hissed as he felt a small bruise and several cuts on his forehead.

“Ow...” he muttered as he sat up slowly. “I think I have a concussion...”

“Well at least your head isn’t cracked open,” Sapphire said as both Chad and Twilight stared at her. “What? That’s good isn’t it?”

“Yes... Yes it is,” Chad said nodding slowly before he turned to Twilight. “Do you know what decided to imprint my face into the floor?”

“I do. And they are right here,” Twilight said in a rather livid tone. She stepped aside to show three fillies, all with scared and guilty expressions. “Apparently, they thought you brainwashed me and Sapphire then ate Spike.”

“Okay, how does that relate to me getting knocked out by something heavy?” Chad asked as he rubbed the side of his head to clear the headache that was invading his mind.

“They thought they could save us by somehow getting a catapult into Rarity’s home and launching a sandbag into your back,” she said with a very prominent tone of disappointment and slight anger.

“Ah. You can’t fault them too much for it... I am kind of an alien. But I have to say, I’m a little pissed,” he said as he looked at the three fillies who were still terrified of him. “But I am not going to eat you, or brainwash you, or do any other bad thing you have cooked up in your minds at this moment.”

That caused all three of them to let out massive sighs of relief and slumped in place. As they did so, Chad stretched his arms to the sky and then put them down to push himself up. He wavered in place slightly as he stood up, Sapphire pressing against his side to give him a little support.

“Twilight, I am going to assume I can’t be seen right?” Chad asked as he reached up to touch his ear for a moment, feeling the cigarette he placed there still in place. Twilight only nodded at his question as she saw him take the cigarette from his ear and place it between his lips. “Okay then. I’ll be behind the building, I need some fresh air.”

Before Twilight could protest, Chad strode past her, stepping over the three fillies, and walked over to the door and opened it up. The door let out a small click as it closed and Sapphire, Twilight, and all the fillies simply stared where he left. That was when Rarity finally decided to make her appearance with Spike in tow, staring dreamily at her.

“Chad darling~!” she said in a singsong tone as she happily levitated a simple white t-shirt out of the room. “I have your- Oh, where did our human friend go?” Everyone in the room simply stared at Rarity with looks of disbelief. “What? Did I miss something?”

~=~=~=~=~=~=~

Chad gently closed the door and looked to his left and then his right to make sure no one was looking. As he found the area clear of any ponies, dragons, or other sentient creatures he may find during his stay, he pulled out his box of cigarettes and extracted one of the many matches he had been given by Twilight.

Considered all that had happened to him as of late, he was in a rather good mood. Or he was just bottling it all up until it was going to explode worse than mentos in Diet Coke. As he thought about this, he struck the match across the trashcan that was next to his legs and put the glowing flame to the tip of his cigarette, inhaling deeply. The thought washed away from his mind as he felt the calming effect begin to take place.

This was stopped for a moment by a shrill and angered shriek from inside of the shop that sent shivers up Chad’s spine. He felt as if someone inside of that building was being horribly scolded and punished, but shrugged the feeling off. All that mattered to him at the moment was the cigarette he still needed to finish and enjoy. Blowing out a small cloud of smoke, he took another puff and let out a relaxed sigh as he breathed out smoke.

To make the moment a bit better for himself, he pulled out his phone and plugged the headphones into it. He placed the earbuds in one by one as he browsed his collection of music. Smiling, he picked a song he got before he was brought here.

He hummed along with the song, closing his eyes so he could hear the music without any distractions. He quietly began to sing along with the song, not noticing the purple pony poking her head out of the door.

Hey Lucy, I remember your name
I left a dozen roses on your grave today
I'm in the grass on my knees, wipe the leaves away
I just came to talk for a while
I got some things I need to say

He hummed along with the song as the man stopped singing and took a quick puff from his cigarette. Twilight's ears had flopped down against her head as Rarity walked out to see what was taking her friend so long. She stopped as she heard Chad continue singing.

Now that it's over
I just wanna hold her
I'd give up all the world to see
That little piece of heaven looking back at me
Now that it's over
I just wanna hold her
I've gotta live with the choices I made
And I can't live with myself today.

He stopped to hum again before picking up where he left off.

Hey Lucy, I remembered your birthday
They said it'd bring some closure to say your name
I know I'd do it all different if I had the chance
But all I got are these roses to give
And they can't help me make amends.

Now that it's over
I just wanna hold her
I'd give up all the world to see
That little piece of heaven looking back at me
Now that it's over
I just wanna hold her
I've gotta live with the choices I made
And I can't live with myself today.

Before Chad knew it, he had a whole audience that consisted of two dragons, three foals, and two mares.

Here we are, now you're in my arms
I never wanted anything so bad
Here we are, for a brand new start
Living the life that we could've had

Me and Lucy walking hand in hand
Me and Lucy never wanna end
Just another moment in your eyes
I'll see you in another life
In heaven where we never say goodbye

Here we are, now you're in my arms
Here we are for a brand new start
Got to live with the choices I've made
And I can't live with myself today

Me and Lucy walking hand in hand
Me and Lucy never wanna end
Got to live with the choices I've made
And I can't live with myself today

Hey Lucy, I remember your name

As he stopped, he let out a small sigh and finished his cigarette before unplugging his headphones, which stopped the music, and put them back into his pocket with his phone. He extinguished his stub of a cigarette and let out a breath of relief before looking over to the door and letting out a small yelp.

“Cheese ‘n’ Rice!” He shouted as he put a hand over his heart. “Don’t just sneak up on me like th-”

He would have continued if it were not for the group of teary eyed, lip quivering, pitiful ponies in front of him. Sapphire on the other hand looked like she was going through a hardcore depression at the moment as she was laying on the ground, curled up with her claws over her eyes and her tail wrapped around her body. Spike had simply resorted to going back inside and curling up under a bunch of scraps of fabric.

“Why is everyone so sad?” he asked, suddenly feeling like a jerk for nearly snapping at the ponies. There wasn’t even a second before he was dogpiled by a bunch of ponies, Sapphire simply stayed where she was was, not truly wanting to even get up at the moment. The next ten minutes of Chad’s time in Equestria was filled with tears, questions, explanations, and more crying.

After all the floodgates closed up, the small group walked back into the boutique, Chad actually had to carry Sapphire in because she still didn’t want to move. A few minutes after they got in, a cry of happiness was heard throughout Ponyville as Chad found his casual wear made and ready to be worn.

~=~=~=~=~=~=~

Chad was currently enjoying the feeling of a new shirt and pants as he was talking with the Crusaders. They still were cautious of some things he did, but they mostly accepted him.

“So what kind of things did you do for fun back at your home?” Scootaloo asked as her little wings fluttered with curiosity. Chad scratched his chin in thought. He didn’t think the ponies here had things like Xbox’s or PS3’s, so he settled for something a bit easier.

“I played this sport called ‘Soccer,’ or as the Europeans call it, ‘Football,’” Chad said smiling at his memories. All three of the fillies looked at each other with confusion before looking back up at Chad.

“What’s Soccer?” Sweetiebelle asked. Chad smiled a bit wider at the adorable little filly before he began to explain the sport to the three fillies. After a few minutes, Scootaloo raised a hoof, signalling she had a question for the resident human.

“Yes?” Chad asked as he looked at Scootaloo.

“Not to be mean, but what is so fun about kicking a ball around?” Scootaloo inquired, setting her hoof down. Chad looked off and scratched his chin for a moment before letting out a small sigh.

“Well it’s a bit hard to explain... It’s like if...” Chad furrowed his brow as he thought for a moment. “It’s like if you were to see a new flavor of ice cream and it looked really bland and boring, but you tried it and it was really great.”

All three fillies just blinked at his analogy. He let out a small groan and ran a hand through his hair. “It would be so much easier if I actually had a soccer ball to show you guys how it works...”

That was when a certain pink pony popped up behind his back with a large grin. Needless to say, it scared the life out of Chad. After a yelp, some thrashing about, and much laughter from the fillies, it ended up with Chad laying on his back, holding his head in pain, while Pinkie giggled on his stomach.

“How—” Chad began before Twilight walked over and levitated the pink pony off of Chad.

“Don’t ask questions about Pinkie, or else you’ll end up with a migraine,” Twilight said giving him a small, knowing smile. He just shook his head dismissively before he picked himself off of the floor and looked back down at the ponies. Instead of seeing Pinkie sitting there with her usual smile, she was sitting there with her usual smile and a ball that strangely resembled a soccer ball from home. She quickly put it in his hands and sat there with a even bigger grin.

“Where did y-” Chad began before he looked at Twilight then back to Pinkie. “Nevermind. Thank you, Pinkie.”

“Oh no problem! If you didn’t have a soccer ball, then you wouldn’t be able to create a wonderful scene that would make ponies d’aw!” Pinkie said in one breath as Chad simply blinked and rubbed his temples for a second.

“Right... Anyway... Twilight, I will be outside with the fillies. I don’t think inside is a good place to do this activity,” Chad said as he put the ball in the crook of his elbow and walked over to the door that led outside.

“Okay. Just be careful. And don’t wander off!” Twilight cautioned as the four stepped outside. Pinkie just sat in the middle of the floor looking up at the ceiling. “Pinkie what are you doing?”

“I am watching them write and edit! Shhh!” Pinkie said in a hushed voice as she watched the ceiling.

~=~=~=~=~=~=~

“So what, like this?” Scootaloo asked as she got onto her hind legs and kicked the ball into a torn up sheet of fabric that Rarity had given them to use as a net for the goal. Chad applauded as Applebloom and Sweetiebelle clopped their hooves together and gave the pegasus some praise. Scootaloo puffed out her chest and let a triumphant smirk grace her lips.

“That was great Scootaloo. But...” Chad said as he walked over and retrieved the ball before tossing it back into the grass. “You gotta get good before you can do things like...” He walked up to the ball and swiftly scooped it ball into the crook of his ankle and tossed it into the air before bouncing it on his elbows.

“This!” The little fillies watched in awe as the human showed off his skills. He went from bouncing the ball on his elbow to bouncing it onto his head and balancing it for a few seconds. After a few minutes he stopped and caught the ball. He set it back onto the grass before walking over to the makeshift net and crouching slightly in front of it. “Now next part. The goalie. He is to keep you from making your shot.”

“Then how are we supposed to make a goal?” Applebloom asked tilting her head. Chad just gave a small smile and shrugged.

“If I told you, then I would know how to block it. It’s better to learn through experience than an instructor or textbook,” Chad said before giving them a small ‘Come get some’ gesture. “Now, which one of you thinks you can make a shot?”

~=~=~=~=~=~=~

“Twilight, darling. I have to ask, is it a good thing to leave him out there alone with the foals?” Rarity asked as she walked out with a set of formal dress pants. Twilight looked up from her notes to see the marshmallow unicorn gently folding up the pants.

“I am sure there is no need to be scared, Rarity.” Twilight said before she got up and walked to the window. “I mean look at them.”

Rarity walked over to the window and smiled gently. The foals were all ganging up and taking turns shooting the ball, trying to get it into the net. That was until they simply all rushed him, making his eyes go wide in response, while Scootaloo nudged the ball forward with her head. He tried to jump out of the way, but ended up being dogpiled by the group of fillies. Both of the mares could hear the laughter from behind the glass.

“See? He may be different, but he isn’t like a diamond dog or a dragon,” Twilight said before turning to Sapphire, who had stopped sulking and was simply relaxing on the carpet. “No offense.”

“None taken. Dragons aren’t the friendliest bunch,” Sapphire said shrugging her shoulders.

“I guess you are right. He is just a big foal isn’t he?” Rarity said giggling. They turned and watched as Chad made a few jerky movements before flopping his head to the side and lolling his tongue out. They grew worried for a second before he popped up and scared the fillies. Grabbing Applebloom and tickling her belly sending her into a fit of laughter.

“I can’t see why the Princess was so worried about somepony like this,” Twilight said shaking her head. Spike walked out of Rarity’s crafting room with several pins stuck in his back. “I still think that looks painful.”

“It’s not. Scales are very handy when they need to be,” Spike said smiling. Rarity just gave one last worried look at the foals and smiled as she saw the group laughing and playing around. Then walked back to her creation room with Spike in tow.

“Well tell Chad not to get too worked up, I am almost done with his suit for meeting the Princesses,” Rarity said as she stopped at the door and let Spike walk in first. “In fact, you should gather the others so we may leave as soon as possible.”

“Alright, I think I will. But who is going to watch Chad and the foals?” Twilight asked before Sapphire stood up straight. She was about to speak up before Pinkie snapped herself out of her self induced trance of ceiling watching.

“Oh oh! Can I watch them!? CanIcanIcanIcanIcanIcanI!?” She asked repeatedly before Twilight shoved a hoof in her mouth, giving her a stressed out yes. The pink one let out a loud squee before rushing outside. Sapphire gave a small pout before laying back down.

With that covered, Twilight set out to go find the rest of her friends and bring them over. Little did she know, things were only beginning to get strange for her and her friends.