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                      Smokey Arrival                       
                     -by Smexy Sombra-                     
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            Chapter 1: Entrances and Questions             
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Chapter 1: Entrances and Questions
Smokey Arrival  
Chapter 1:  
Entrances and Questions  
Written by: Smexy Sombra
A man walked down the sidewalk to his run down apartment, lighting a cigarette to calm his nerves from the day’s events. He had recently been laid off from his job, lost his place in the soccer team he was trying out for, and had been hit by a car, thankfully rolling over the top of the hood and hitting the ground without much harm done other than a few bruises and cuts.
“This day just couldn’t get any worse...” He muttered as he took a long drag from his cigarette. He adjusted his black hoodie that covered his white T-shirt underneath while placing the pack of cigarettes into his blue jeans. He sighed as he walked by an alleyway, expecting to see a homeless man begging for change. Instead he saw a very bright and luminous glowing object sitting at the end of the alleyway. He adjusted his grey beanie as he stared at the object with curious eyes.
He stared at it for a few moments before waving his hand at it, almost expecting the object to disappear as he motioned with his hand before he continued his walk. He stopped not a few feet away from the alley before taking off his hat and ran a hand through his longish black hair. With a sigh and a blink of his Ice blue eyes, he turned around and walked back to the alley way before approaching the object with great care. “I swear, if this turns out to be some trap, Chad isn’t going to be my name anymore, its gonna be mud.” He muttered. “Curiosity killed the cat...”
He bent down to look at the object. He blinked and squinted his eyes to look at the intensely glowing object before reaching a hand out to grab it. As his hand made contact with it, he felt something warm, and almost inviting. He raised an eyebrow before he felt some invisible force latch onto his fingers and pull him towards the object. He began to panic as he saw his hand disappear into the bright light, only to be followed by his arm, then his shoulder, finally he had to close his eyes and shield them with his other hand to keep from going blind as the rest of his body was sucked in.
~=~=~=~=~=~=~
In the caves of equestria, there was a large dragon. Gentle blue scales and ruby eyes were the most noticeable features aside from the massive leathery bat wings and massive spikes that adorned it’s head. It was clawing at the earth in the cave to get to the delicious gems, jewels, and crystals that hid under the terrain. It let out a little curious titter as it found a large glowing gem, just big enough to be a mouthful on it’s own. This was a delight for the massive lizard as it smiled and dug the gem up the rest of the way. The gem itself was a simple onyx, black as the moonless night sky, but somehow was giving off a bright white light.
Taking the gem from the earth it opened it’s maw up and slipped the gem in before happily crunching down and consuming the massive gem. The dragon licked it’s lips to clear the powder, and turned to the cave entrance and cantered out into the sunlight. With a satisfied sigh it took off into the blue sky, flying happily over the forest and over the large massive and extensive plains that laid between all the cities of Equestria. It let out a large spout of flame as it saw another dragon fly by, watching as the other dragon did the same and smiled. After the little greeting of foreign relations between dragons, it kept flying off.
The dragon kept flying until it felt it’s stomach clench up and twist as it flew. It groaned and hissed in discomfort before it flew down and landed. It took a few steps before it clenched the ground and hacked and dry heaved. It continued this for a minute or two before it’s cheeks swelled and it vomited onto the ground, whining in discomfort as it emptied it’s stomach.
It gasped and panted as it looked at the pile of bile in front of it. It whimpered as it remembered the gem it ate before it coughed a few times and whined as it’s stomach was now empty. It’s eyes narrowed as it saw something moving inside the bile before raising out of the goop. It looked like a diamond dog, only the legs were bent wrong and it was taller.
“What the fuck is this shit!?” It bellowed out making the dragon snort in disbelief. The creature that arose from it’s vomit began to flick the gunk away from it’s claws and wipe it off from it’s clothing. “What the hell even happened to me!? Touch a fucking glowing object and then wind up in a sewer drain?! Hell of a fucking prank!”
The dragon snorted again and leaned down to look at the creature that possibly was the cause for it’s unwanted stomach evacuation. It let out small puffs of it’s warm breath to let the creature know it was behind it. The creature stopped and slowly turned to see the dragon, it’s blue eyes widening as it saw the massive flying reptile. There was a silence before it let out a high pitched shriek and began to run away from the dragon. It skidded and slipped as it tried to run through the bile to get away, only succeeding in getting to the grass before the dragon grabbed the creature in it’s claws and brought it up to it’s face.
“Let me go! Christ, let me go! I don’t wanna get eaten by a giant lizard!” It cried out, squirming and fidgeting in the dragon’s grip. It let out an unamused snort before letting out a loud throaty growl, making the creature silence itself. The dragon cleared its throat before remembering equestrian dialect.
“What are you and why did you make me lose my lunch?” It’s feminine voice boomed due to it’s size. The creature in it’s claw gaped at her before it’s eyes rolled up into the back of it’s head and it slumped forward, passing out in her claw. The dragon let out a ‘Humph!’ at the being rudely passing out without giving her an answer. “I guess I’ll have to get my answer later.”
With that she began to fly back to the cave she was previously in, knowing this may or may not take a hour or two before she would get her questions answered. Plus, if she was lucky, she could dig up some more gems to eat.
~=~=~=~=~=~=~
Celestia stood gazing out the window as something had her bothered. When the sun hit noon that day, she had felt a flux in magic that had been gone for thousands of years. It was the same magic that the Alicorn Amulet, that Twilight had given to her for safekeeping, used to give unicorns unimaginable power. She sighed as she was not able to track the magic as it had left as soon as it showed. It was a brief surge of power, but the magnitude was almost hard to comprehend.
Something was now in their world, whether it was good or not, would have to wait to be determined. And when it was, they would need to be prepared for either scenario. She took a deep breath and decided to not worry herself. She should not fret over what could be instead of what is happening at the moment. With that thought in mind, she made a mental note to check out any rumors later that may pop up. Standing up, she walked away from the window and back to the throne room where Twilight was sitting upon the throne and giving advice to the distraught patrons that came to her for help.
“...So if you put the farm animals on the other side of your property, not only is it still convenient, but it will keep your neighbor happy as well.” Twilight summed up as the old earth pony nodded and bowed in respect.
“Thank you Princess, I shall do that. I am grateful for your help.” He said as he turned and left.
“It’s no problem at all!” Twilight said smiling and waving goodbye until she saw Celestia and smiled a bit wider. “Hello Princess!”
Celestia gave a small giggle and shook her head. “Twilight dear, you don’t need to call me Princess anymore. Celestia is just fine.” She said as she walked over and nuzzled her former student.
“I guess, still getting used to things.” Twilight said giggling herself and returning the affection. As she stopped she noticed something amiss with the Princess. “Is there something wrong Princess? You look worried about something.”
“Oh it’s nothing Twilight. Just a flux in magic, just somepony somewhere is casting a very big spell and I am just a little worried. I am hoping they aren’t pushing themselves too hard.” Celestia said waving a hoof dismissively.
“Oh, must be a pretty big spell for it to make a shift in the balance.” Twilight said tapping her chin. “I wonder what it is.”
“I do too Twilight. I do too.” Celestia said casting a glance towards the window.
~=~=~=~=~=~=~
Chad woke up a hour or two later from when he passed out, feeling a draft drift over his skin. He shivered slightly and cracked his eyes open to see he was in a cave. He blinked and pushed himself up, noticing he was not wearing his jacket or his cap.
“Damn it...” He groaned. “Fucking thieves thugs... Take my stuff and leave me in a cave. Where do you even find a cave in Evergreen?”
He reached down and left his cigarettes and lighter, letting out a grateful sigh before pulling out the little box and plastic lighter. He pulled out a small cigarette and placed it in his lips before he lit the tip and took a deep breath. Watching the little stick glow a bright orange, he smiled somewhat and blew out the smoke that came with the relaxing properties of the cigarette.
“That was a hell of a dream I had though... What kind of shit did they give me to make me trip like that.” He thought out loud before scowling at the entrance of the cave. “If I ever find the little shits who did this to me...”
“Well I wouldn’t look very far.” A eerily familiar voice said. “But I can guarantee, that I am not a ‘Little shit’.”
He pinched his eyes shut before turning around and slowly opening one. There was the massive blue dragon, staring back at him with her unamused ruby red eyes. He gulped loudly and turned back to the cave entrance.
“I am not dreaming am I?” He asked no one in particular.
“Nope.” The dragon said.
“Fuck... RUN AWAY!” He yelled out as he began to run from the dragon behind him. Sadly it was for naught as he felt his legs get caught by something and he was hoisted into the air. He struggled to move in any direction as he found himself dangling in the air, at least two stories in the air. He looked up to see that a scally appendage that was holding him up by the legs. It lead into the darkness and behind the large reptile, so he only assumed it was it’s tail. “Um... Heh heh... Please don’t eat me...”
“Hmm. That depends.” The dragon said in her feminine voice.
“Aaaand you talk... That makes things... Either more terrifying or easier. Or both.” Chad muttered. He turned his head and tried to lean away as the dragon brought him close to her muzzle. “So... What does it depend on?” Chad said letting a nervous chuckle escape his lips.
“If you answer a few questions. Then I’ll let you go.” She said plainly.
“J-just like that?” Chad asked.
“Well. I am feeling somewhat generous, so I won’t put you in bonds and make you my slave.” The Dragon said grinning, showing all of the massive sharp serrated teeth. Chad only gulped and let his expression drop. “I am just kidding, squirt. Dragons don’t do that. It’s all urban myths.”
“Oh thank god... Oh, um.. Sorry.” Chad said nervously.
“Look, I meant what I said, so we might as well get it over with.” The dragon said as she lowered him to the ground. “Please don’t run again, it’s getting less and less amusing and becoming annoying.”
Chad only nodded as he was released and fell to the ground, slumping a little bit as he felt his legs lay next to his head. “Oh... Sorry.” The dragon said wincing slightly.
With a small grunt of pain, he rolled to the side and flopped to the ground. Righting himself up, he stood up and turned to face the dragon, taking a sudden breath as he saw just how massive she was. With a nervous breath he sat down and crossed his legs. As he rested he quickly pulled out the box of cigarettes and his lighter again before looking up at the dragon.
“Um... Is okay if I smoke?” He asked sheepishly. The dragon raised an eyebrow before shrugging her shoulders and he quickly pulled out a cigarette and lit it. Taking a long drag from the cigarette, he let out a relaxed sigh while he blew out the smoke. “Thank you...”
“No problem? Now down to business.” The dragon said as she stretched out somewhat, making Chad flinch, and then curled her body up, resting her head onto her front talons. “I’d first like to know what you are.”
“Like, what species?” Chad asked as The dragon nodded. “I’m, uh, human.”
“Hoo-man? What is that?” The dragon asked.
“Well, we are like apes considering we evolved from them. Only more technologically advance, can talk, and are way more civilized.” Chad said before he took another puff.
“I see. Okay, now the big question, why did you make me vomit, more importantly, why were you in my stomach?” The dragon said getting slightly angry.
“Um, would to accept the answer ‘I don’t know?’.” Chad asked sheepishly. The angry glare he received in return told him the answer. “Yeah didn’t think that would. But in all honesty, I don’t know! All I remember was I was walking home, found this weird glowing gem thing and walked over to see what it was. I touched it and then next thing I know, I am being thrown to the ground in massive wave of goop, trying my best not to drown in the stuff!”
“So you had no real choice in what happened?” The Dragon asked.
“Well, unless I developed a sudden affinity for Vorarephilia, then no.” Chad said as he took another puff. “Speaking of which, may I ask why I am not still covered in vomit?”
“Oh, I cleaned you. But I may have accidentally torn up your cloth hide.” The dragon said looking away in slight embarrassment.
“Wait you mean my hoodie?... Aw damn it... That one was my favorite too.” He said leaning his head back. “Wait how did you clean me? Like dump water on me or something?”
“Well.. Actually, since I didn’t want to risk drowning you before I got answers and I didn’t want to smell that stuff on you, I may or may not have... Licked you clean.” The dragon said fidgeting in embarrassment. Chad immediately put the cigarette back between his lips and breathed in until it was a stub and flicked it away before letting out a plume of smoke.
“... I actually don’t know how to process that... But thanks I guess. Glad you didn’t end up swallowing me...” He coughed out. “Is that it, by the way? Is that all you wanted to know?”
“Pretty much yes. You may leave, but I will warn you, that forest isn’t safe at dark.” The dragon said as she closed her eyes. Chad just cautiously stood up before he walked to the cave entrance.
“Um... Alright. Thanks for not eating me.” Chad said, receiving an amused snort from the dragon. He walked out into the open air and took a deep breath, making him have a small coughing fit, seeing as he was used to smoggy air that usually came with a city. He looked up into the sky and realized why the dragon warned him. The sun was setting in the distance, and the forest he was in stretched at least three miles, even then it stretched on. He sighed and looked around the plateau that he was standing on for a decent. Finding only one path, he sighed and began his trek down the mountain.
~=~=~=~=~=~=~
“SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHI~IT!” Chad shouted in total fear as he ran from the wolves made from timber. “God damn it, SOMEONE HELP MEEEE!”
The moon’s glow was the only thing giving him light as he ran through the thick trees. He dodged and side stepped the wolves as they caught up to him, one tearing the end of his pants when it bit at him. He continued to run until he found the mountain again, with no other option he ran along it’s side until he found the pathway and immediately began to run up. The wolves followed him, but they ran up in a single file line seeing how thin the path was. Chad only continued to run as he heard the growls and barks that threatened his life. He reached the pile of stones and boulders that littered the pathway and began climbing to get to the top as fast as possible. Jumping off the peak of the hill, he landed on the path way, grunting as he felt his limbs get scuffed up by the rough stone ground. The wolves were having trouble getting up, but they were fixed on getting rid of Chad.
“Who fuckers just don’t quit do ya?” He panted as he pushed himself up. A wolf jumped down to the ground making him continue sprinting away. He finally reached the top of the plateau and panicked as he realized he had nowhere left to run. “Oh shit...” He muttered as he hastily looked around. “Ooooh shit!” He exclaimed until the sound of wolves growling caught his attention. He slowly turned to see the pack of wolves made of wood closing in on him.
“You are all assholes, you know that!?” He shouted at them. They continued walking across the plateau slowly, and carefully spreading out to not give him a escape. Seeing his end closing in on him, he took out his cigarettes again and pulled out his lighter. Flicking the flint on the end, he noticed no flame would be made, no matter how many times he tried to get it to ignite. “For fucks sake...”
As the timber wolves reached the halfway mark, meaning the entrance to the cave, he backed up until his foot was on the edge of the plateau. He looked down to see the long fall that awaited him if he decided he didn’t want to be mauled by wolves. He took a shaky breath as he was trying to make his decision. With a final deep breath he stood straight up and prepared to jump off before a sudden light filled the air.
Time seemed to stop as the massive sapphire flames spewed out of the cave entrance, spraying the wolves in front of Chad with their intense and beautiful power. He stood there in awe as he saw the wolves turn from the beasts of the forest, to simply lit kindle for a nice bonfire. As the flames stopped pouring from the entrance of the fire, the only proof of the wolves ever being there was a dozen piles of blackened ash.
“Holy shit...” Chad muttered before smiling and pumping both of his fists in the air. “HOLY SHIT THAT WAS SO FREAKING COOL!”
There was a somewhat loud ‘THUMP’ as the blue dragon from before crawled out of the cave and looked down at Chad with a disappointed stare. “I thought I told you that the forest was dangerous at night.” She said with an almost parental tone.
Chad looked up, slightly straining his neck. He grinned happily before walking away from the edge and shuddering slightly as he thought about what he almost did. “You did, but you didn’t really give me much of a choice! I couldn’t have just stayed in the cave until the morning light!” Chad retorted as he looked down and rubbed his neck.
“I never said you couldn’t stay.” She said raising an eyebrow.
“But you didn’t say I could!” Chad said looking back up at her. The dragon just sighed and crawled back into the cave, letting her tail slither in behind her. Chad just huffed in a angry tone before walking over to see a single piece of the timberwolves was still ablaze, if only barely. He sighed and knelt down before lighting the cigarette with the small flame and then leaning back up, slowly puffing on it.
“Are you going to get in here, or are you more willing to freeze to death?” The dragon’s voice boomed from the cave, making him flinch. He sighed and walked back to the cave, casting a glance at the handsome starry night that was above him. As he entered the cave, he instantly felt the warmth enter his bones again, most likely due to the massive dragon that was at the back of the cave. He walked in and sat down and leaned against the wall, attempting to get comfortable. “Is all of your species as stubborn and hardheaded as you?” The dragon asked as she laid back down.
“Heh, not always... Hey, um. Thanks. For saving my hide back there.” Chad said as he finished his smoke and put it out in the dirt.
“It’s no problem. You just arrived here, would be a shame for you to die and never return home.” The dragon said closing her eyes.
“Yeah, that would suck... wait did you say ‘Return home’?” He asked.
“Well yes, you are obviously not from around here. Nor do I remember any type of species being called ‘Humans’ appearing in Equestria.” The dragon said, opening one eye to look at Chad.
“That explains the wolves made from trees... Oh god this is just the worst day of my life.” He groaned as he rubbed his eyes, feeling the exhaustion hit him as the adrenaline in his blood wore off. The dragon just chuckled and closed her eyes again. Chad just laid down onto his side and placed his head onto his arm as a makeshift pillow. “The name is Chad, by the way. Chad Holden.”
“Charmed, I am sure. I would give you a name, but I do not have one.” The dragon said plainly.
“You don’t have a name?” Chad asked as he lifted his head.
“Of course I don’t. I am not like one of those adolescent whelps that gather around the lava springs.” The dragon said snorting in annoyance. “Names are simply a title. Nothing more, nothing less. And I will make a title for myself.”
“Well... What if I gave you one?” Chad asked making one of the dragon’s eyes snap open.
“And why would you do that?”
“You kinda did save my ass back there. So if anything you should be given a name so I remember my savior. I don’t want to look back and say ‘Yeah, I once was saved by that dragon!... You know, the blue one!’.” Chad said chuckling lightly. The dragon lifted a claw and tapped her chin.
“Alright, have a go.” She said, giving him a small grin.
“Um, okay... Uh, how about... Sapphire.... Flame?” He said wincing at his thought. The dragon hummed at the name before clicking her tongue.
“That is a nice name, but how did you think of it?” The newly named ‘Sapphire’ asked as she laid her head back down.
“You used blue flames to toast those wolves back there, and you are the color of a sapphire so, I just kinda put two and two together.” Chad said as he also laid back down. “I am glad you enjoy your new name, and I hope you remember it.”
“I certainly will. Thank you Chad.” Sapphire said closing her eyes.
“Any time. Good night, Sapphire.” Chad said with a grin. And with that the duo fell asleep in the dark cave, the moon’s luminescence acting as a form of a nightlight and the gentle chirps of the crickets and the hum of the winds outside making a wonderful lullaby allowing the sleep patrons of the world blissful dreams.

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                Chapter 2: Hits like a rock                
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Chapter 2: Hits like a rock
Smokey Arrival  
Chapter 2:  
Hits like a rock  
Written by: Smexy Sombra
Chad let out a groan as he woke up, feeling the stiffness in his bones. Letting out a yawn, he sat up and stretched his arms out. Receiving many snaps, crackles, and pops from his protesting bones, he shook his head to clear up the blurry vision that always came with waking up. After five minutes of yawning, a little more stretching, and finally getting the energy to stand up, he walked out into the open air, shivering slightly at the chilling breeze.
He stretched once more as he looked over the massive forest. With the sun rising over the hills, the morning dew still clinging to the leaves of the many trees that peppered the ground around the mountain, and wind making all the trees dancing in harmony, it was truly a beautiful sight to wake up to.
“Damn... If this is every morning, I may not want to go back home at all...” Chad mumbled to himself as he looked over the amazing sunrise.
“Yes, Celestia sure knows how to make every creature in the world know she is looking out for them.” Sapphire said as she slipped out of the cave and stretched out her talons, not unlike a common house cat. “Did you rest well, Chad the human?”
“Well, as much as I could since I was sleeping on a pile of dirt and rocks.” He said chuckling slightly and rolling his neck, getting a few pops in return. He gingerly rubbed the back of his neck and winced. “Ow...”
“If I may ask, what is your plan?” Sapphire asked looking down at Chad. He just sighed and sat down, still admiring the sunrise.
“Well... I have to find someplace where there are people that can help me. Getting home is a priority, if anything the top of the list.” He said resting his arms on his knees and laying his head on top of his forearms. A loud grumble was heard as Chad let a small blush line his cheeks. “Okay, maybe getting food should be the top priority...”
Sapphire let out a small chuckle and nodded. “That may be a good idea. No journey was ever started on a empty stomach.” She said stretching out her massive wings. “I have been meaning to ask, what does your kind eat?”
“Well... Humans are omnivores, so we pretty much eat anything. With a few exceptions of course, like grass, hay, and flowers.” Chad said leaning his head up to scratch his chin. Sapphire nodded and sat up as her wings folded against her back.
“Your species eats like Griffons. Shouldn’t be too hard to find you food.” Sapphire said looked down at him, making him look up at her with a confused expression.
“I can gather my own food, ya know.” Chad said huffing, making Sapphire chuckling, letting the air around her body vibrate slightly.
“So you want to go back into the place that just tried to end you?” Sapphire asked with a grin and a raised eyebrow. Chad opened his mouth to say something, but quickly found himself closing it and crossing his arms with a huff. “That’s what I thought. I shall return in a moment.”
“Wait wait...” Chad said as he uncrossed his arms and stood up before looking up at Sapphire. “I thought dragons ate gems or something!”
“We do, but that is mostly a nutrient for our scales to keep them lustrous and tough. Can’t have other dragons being stronger or even worse, more attractive than each other can we?” Sapphire said smiling and giggling.
“Wow. Even dragons have a vanity problem...” Chad said facepalming.
“You try finding a mate every one hundred years.” Sapphire huffed as she stood up and stretched her wings. As she took off Chad could only mouth the last of what she said.
“Damn... She must be pent up.” Chad said stretching once more as he watched the sun rise. Letting out a relaxed sigh, he let his hand find it’s way back to his pocket and pulled out his pack of cigarettes. As he pulled one out of the box, he stopped and groaned for a moment before putting it back. “Stupid lighter... Running out of fluid.” He grumbled to himself as he shoved the box back into his pocket and began to pace around the plateau he was stuck on.
“Alright, first: find some food and not die of starvation. Second: find lighter fluid or matches.” He said to himself, making a few mental notes. He patted down his pockets, making sure he still had the lighter when he felt something else. Curious about what else was in his pocket, he reached into his left pocket and pulled out his phone and ear buds. “Well ain’t this a pleasant surprise! Maybe some music will take my mind off the smokes.”
~(-)~
Luna walked down the halls to go find her sister’s chambers. She had seen the fire of a dragon in the mountains of the Everfree last night and normally this wouldn’t be a problem, but with the information that her sister had told her of the magical influx, this could be the sign Celestia was waiting for. Picking up her pace a little bit, she jogged down the hallway until she reached the doors that lead to the outside area just outside the tower that held Celestia’s chambers.
A quick flight up the side of the tower, Luna gently fluttered down onto the balcony of the tower and opened the doors to the bedroom. As she walked in, she found Celestia engrossed in a old tome. Walking up beside her, quietly as she could, and sitting next to her sister, she waited patiently until Celestia closed the book and let out a frustrated sigh.
“What could that have been?” Celestia groaned out as she brought a hoof to her head and rubbed her temples.
“I may know sister.” Luna said smiling as Celestia let out a small yelp and leaped into the air. Celestia panted for a moment as her heart tried to beat it’s way out of her chest before somewhat glaring at her sister.
“That is not funny Luna!” Celestia huffed as her breathing and heart had calmed down enough. Luna tiredly giggled as she shook her head.
“You must learn to relax sister.” Luna said smiling up at her older sister before taking on a serious tone. “But that matter aside, I have news about that magical influx. Last night, I spotted the flame of a dragon in the Everfree, more specifically the mountains that reside in them.”
“Really? Are you certain, Luna?” Celestia asked as she righted herself so she was sitting up straight. Luna could only nod as she felt the last of her energy begin to fade. Celestia noticed this and smiled softly as she picked up her sister with her magic and placed her in the big, plush bed that rested in the back of the bedroom. Tucking her sister in, Celestia quietly left the room and flew out the window before gliding down to the courtyard.
Taking in a deep breath of the fresh air, she began to walk towards the library that was not far from the courtyard, seeing how some ponies like to read outside in the fresh air. Trotting quickly but calmly, so she did not alert the guards to her somewhat frantic state of mind, she went straight to the library where Twilight was reading several research journals and other textbooks while a pile of parchment full of notes laid next to her. Hoping not to scare the lavender alicorn as she announced her presence, she lifted a hoof and knocked on the nearest book shelf catching the little alicorn’s attention.
Twilight’s ears perked up and she turned her head before smiling at Celestia. “Oh hello, Celestia! What are you doing here?” Twilight asked as Celestia walked over next to her. “I am just getting a few references and notes for a experiment I was planning on doing later. I am trying to see if I can create those wings I did for Rarity again, only with stronger materials.”
“I am afraid I must ask you to postpone your research, Twilight. I have a request for you and your friends.” Celestia said as she sat down. Twilight stopped writing and put her quill down, looking at Celestia as she turned in her spot to face her.
“Is Discord turning evil again?” Twilight asked, making Celestia only shake her head. “Is Chrysalis attacking again?” Celestia only shook her head again. “Is it Sombr-”
“Twilight dear, it’s none of those old villains. They shall not be coming back anytime soon, if not at all. What I am referring to is that flux of magic I told you about yesterday.” Celestia said as she let out a nervous sigh. “I don’t know who, or possibly what, set off the magic, but Luna told me of a blast of dragon fire in the Everfree. It may most likely be nothing, but to be safe, I want you and your friends to investigate. Hopefully it’s nothing to worry over.”
“I see. Well, I will send my friends letters and we will go find out what happened!” Twilight said confidently as she pulled out five parchments and beginning to write. Celestia gave Twilight a quick nuzzle before she began to walk towards the Library’s exit.
“Thank you Twilight, I am sure it’s nothing, but I just want to be safe.” Celestia said with a small relieved smile.
~(-)~
Sapphire flew back down to the cave and landed with a loud boom. She dropped the pile of fruit she had gathered in the forest for Chad, along with a large carcass of a Manticore that had attempted to attack her, poor bugger didn’t even get closer before getting impaled by her tail, funniest part was it was an unintentional kill. After making sure the food wouldn’t roll off the mountain or get blown away by the high winds, Sapphire looked around the plateau for Chad. Not spotting him, she walked into the cave to look for her new human friend before she saw the human doing some weird, almost awkward, dance.
“... Chad?” Sapphire said as she was beginning to struggle containing the literal roars of laughter that were brewing up inside of her. The human didn’t respond, only continued to do his awkward dancing, which if he had been doing to music, he would have been considered having an upright seizure. Sapphire cleared her throat and raised her voice a bit. “Chad!!”
“AHH!” He yelped as he jumped at least five feet in the air and landed on his ass. Groaning and pulling something from his ears, he looked up and saw Sapphire looking down at him with a large smile and quivering lips. “... How much did you see?”
“Enough to know that you are the worst dancer in Equestrian history!” Sapphire said before beginning to cackle. Chad blushed until he was as red as a cherry as he walked past Sapphire and out into the open air. The dragon continued to cackle and laugh until she was on her side, panting and gasping for breath, and giggling ever so slightly.
“Are you done?” Chad asked in an annoyed and embarrassed manner. Sapphire raised a claw in the air and gave the ‘One second’ Gesture before righting herself up and coming out of the cave.
“Yes...” She paused for a small giggle. “Yes, I am quite done.”
“Thank you.” Chad said sighing a little bit. “Also I have to ask... What is that massive cat-scorpion-bat thing?”
“You have never seen a Manticore?” Sapphire asked as she crawled out of the cave and laid down onto the plateau to look at the Manticore.
“Nooo... From a place far away remember?” Chad said rolling his eyes.
“No need to be rude you know.” Sapphire said snorting quietly.
“You just laughed at me for at least fifteen minutes, I have the right to be a little mean.” Chad said grumpily. It was Sapphire’s turn to roll her eyes this time before she picked up the Manticore in her jaws. “What are you doi-”
He was interrupted by the loud sound of crunching, bones snapping, and meat tearing. He only could blink in astonishment as a large cat paw fell down in front of him, soon followed by a large scorpion tail. As he was about to say something, a long snake like tongue whipped out and grabbed the tail before getting sucked back up by Sapphire. After Sapphire was done she licked her chops and looked down at Chad before giving a smile, albeit a bloodied tooth smile.
“... That... Was kinda nasty.” Chad said clenching his eyes shut and taking a deep breath to avoid dry heaving. Sapphire just gave him a unamused look before tapping the ground in front of him to get his attention. Opening one eye, he saw her pointing to the pile of fruit. Taking only a moment for his mouth to water from the sight of food, he dashed over and grabbed the nearest fruit and took a massive bite out of it. recoiling from the sour flavor, he found himself eating something that looked like a orange, only it was pink. Shrugging, and not thinking clearly thanks to his hunger, he scarfed the fruit down before sighing at the wonderful feeling of finally having something in his stomach. Taking another fruit he sat down and carefully began to eat this one.
“Wow. You certainly were hungry.” Sapphire said raising an eyebrow at him as he scarfed down the fruit. After he was done demolishing the pile of fruit, leaving only cores and husks of food. “I have to ask, why were you dancing so strangely? Is it some ritual among your kind?”
“Heh, no. I was just listening to some music and with nothing else to do, I danced. Or flailed and thrashed about like a fish out of water.” Chad said shrugging as Sapphire looked at him with a confused expression.
“But... There were no minstrels or musical players around. What music were you dancing too?” Sapphire asked curiously. Chad just wiped his fruit juice covered hands off on his pants, and rubbed them in the dirt to get the sticky feeling off, before reaching into his pocket and pulling out his Phone.
“I used this little thing!” He exclaimed happily. “I don’t know about the residents here, but Humans are very technologically advanced creatures.”
“So wait, that-” Sapphire pointed a massive claw at the little, thin, black box in Chad’s hand. “Can play musical tunes?”
“Yup!” Chad said happily. Sapphire just scoffed and shook her head. “What, you don’t believe me?”
“Of course not! That is such a ridiculous idea!” Sapphire said waving a claw in the air. “No thing that small could possibly hold any music! It’s not even the proper shape of a vinyl!”
Chad just rolled his eyes and looked up at her. “It doesn’t use Vinyls. It is all digitally and electronically sent through a computer and transferred into my phone for storage.” He explained. “Come on, lay your head down and I’ll play a song!”
Sapphire scoffed again and laid her head on the ground letting Chad walk over. Scrolling through various genres of music, he leaned against her neck for a moment as he searched for a good song to play.
“What kind of music do you like?” Chad asked as he looked Sapphire.
“Instrumental stringed instruments are pretty nice.” Sapphire said smiling slightly.
“I see... Well I only have one song like that, but I think you’ll like it.” Chad said as he sorted through his music. He stopped and tapped the device before setting it to max volume for Sapphire to hear. He rested the device on his leg as he sat down to not let his muscles stiff from not moving too long.
https://img.youtube.com/vi/yy9VLz8ENKA/mqdefault.jpg
Sapphire somewhat flinched at the sudden noise, completely unprepared for the sudden, and somehow loud, assault of stringed instruments. The almost hypnotic way that the music went from rapid and fast to calm and gentle. The flute occasionally joining in before being overpowered by main stringed instruments. She raised her head to look around them, to see if Chad was using magic, but only saw him with his eyes closed and the little thin box blaring out the orchestra’s music. Laying her head down, she simply opted for listening to the entrancing music. As it all ended, Sapphire raised her head only to show how her jaw could not stay in place.
“Told ya we humans were technologically advanced.” Chad said with a smug and shiteating grin.
“Th-that shouldn’t even be possible...” Sapphire said unsure whether to believe what she had heard or not.
“Well we didn’t make it from nothing! We went from the stone age of spears and bows to the technological age of guns and computers!” Chad said smiling happily before frowning. “And I am probably not going to see it again...”
Sapphire shook her head to get her out of her stupor before looking down at Chad, whom had put the little box back into his pocket and was wearing a sullen face. She sighed and leaned her head down before nudging him with her nose.
“Chad...” She began comfortingly. “Don’t mourn what is not yet lost. You have to perk up and not take everything with a grain of salt.”
Chad looked at her massive ruby eyes before shaking his head and giving a single chuckle. Smiling slightly he placed a hand on her nose and patted it, hoping she understood he appreciated what she said.
“Thanks Sapphire. But I have to ask, would you mind taking me to the edge of the forest? I need to find some civilization if I want any chance of returning home.” Chad said as he began to take on a more confident and determined tone, albeit a little bit of wariness. Sapphire tapped her chin with a claw for a moment before smiling and looking back down at him.
“I suppose I could, but I’d rather wait till tomorrow.” She said coyly making Chad raise an eyebrow.
“What, why?” He asked slightly confused.
“Well, I’d like to at least spend this day with my friend.” She said winking at him making Chad stop and roll his eyes before smirking up at her.
“Yeah well, it’s not like I have a choice.” He retorted poking her in the side, making her suddenly jump, kicking dirt up in the air. “Woah! What was that?” Sapphire blushed under her scales, faintly tinting them purple, and looked away. “Wait... You’re ticklish? How? I’d think that scales would protect you from stuff like that.”
“W-well... You see, I was born with a softer underbelly than most dragons, so my belly scales act more like a tougher set of skin than the indestructible hide they should be. That and you are small so your touch is like the tip of a feather.” She said stuttering through some of her speech. After she was done, she looked down to see Chad grinning rather maliciously. It took her a moment before her eyes widened at the realization of what he was probably thinking. “Don’t you even da-”
She was cut off by the horribly familiar feeling of tickling as Chad rubbed his hand across her belly. She let out small whimpers of laughter as she tried to keep herself from exploding into fits of giggles. Sadly, this only made Chad more aggressive in his quest to tickle the large blue dragon.
‘Seems kind of silly now that I am thinking about it...’ He thought to himself as he continued to brush his hand across the large winged reptiles stomach area.
Poor Sapphire was doing her best to not give into the feeling before she couldn’t help herself anymore and began to giggle helplessly. She attempted to roll to get her stomach on the other side, careful not to roll in the direction of Chad so she did not crush him. Soon she realized this was a bad decision on her part as Chad climbed up onto her belly as she rolled onto her back, and grinned wickedly at her from her abdomen. Brushing his fingers across Sapphire’s stomach, she wasn’t able to hold her laughter anymore, letting her laughter boom across the forest below, the birds fleeing the forest at the loud noise.
~(-)~
Twilight and her friends were walking through the forest, thanks to her being a Alicorn, she could teleport even more effortlessly to farther locations now so arriving was no problem for her. Getting everypony ready was the true time consumer. Rarity needed to make sure she had everything that she considered ‘Necessary’, Fluttershy had to be carried, more like dragged, by Applejack into the Everfree while Pinkie Pie was just a problem to get her to listen properly.
“Twilight darling, why are we going to through the forest? Why can’t we simply Teleport there?” Rarity complained as they all trudged through the mud and foliage of the forest.
Twilight sighed and kept moving but turned her head to talk to Rarity. “I am sorry Rarity, but I can’t do a mass Teleportation to a area that possibly has a danger close to it. I just don’t want to risk any of us.” Twilight said as Rarity nodded.
“It’s alright Twilight, I understand.” She said smiling as Twilight only returned the smile. The group continued to trudge through the forest before a loud rumble and what sounded like roars shook the forest, making everything inside of it duck for cover or hide in the shadows, fearful of what was bellowing. Poor Fluttershy nearly had a heart attack, going into a faux state of rigor mortis.
“Girls, we need to pick up the pace, whatever is at that mountain is getting worse.” Twilight said as she picked up Fluttershy in her magic and began to sprint down the pathway straight for the mountain. The roars and bellows continued as they sprinted down the pathway. Strangely enough, the thunderous howls stopped. Everything became serene and silent again. Twilight shifted nervously before she began to run up the hill, apologizing to Fluttershy for taking her up the steep slope. There was no time to waste, seeing as the situation was getting more worrisome by the minute.
~(-)~
“You... Are... Evil...” Sapphire panted and huffed as she rolled onto her side, making Chad slide off and onto the dirt. The human just laughed and smiled at her.
“Consider it revenge for tearing up my hoodie.” Chad said chuckling. Sapphire scowled at him before smiling.
“At least you have something to say that no other soul will ever be able to say.” She said giving a giggle, willingly this time. Chad just scrunched up his brow and puckered his lips in confusion before realizing what she was saying and beginning to laugh himself.
“I tickled a dragon... Pffft.” It didn’t take long for him to begin laughing hysterically. This lasted a good ten minutes before he finally stopped and wiped his eyes clear of the tears of joy that had built up in his eyes. Sapphire continued to lay down onto her side, smiling and sighing in content.
“You know... Even though that was a dirty trick.” Sapphire said giving Chad a mock glare, making him chuckle. “That has to be the most fun I have ever had in awhile.”
“Glad I could be of assistance.” Chad said as he walked over and leaned against her stomach, sighing in comfort as he leaned against her warm and soft scales. There was a comfortable silence that surrounded them. The kind of silence that tells you everything will be okay. “It’s nice out here in the wilderness.”
“Yes it is.” Sapphire said before she curled her long neck around to lay her head next to Chad, so that she could look at him. “It makes me wonder why ponies and griffons have not wanted to live out here. The world is just so beautiful in it’s own right.”
“True that.” Chad said smiling as he lifted a hand and ran it through his longish hair, pulling it back so that is did not impair his vision. He rolled his neck, then his shoulders receiving loud and satisfying cracks from both. “Have you ever slept under the stars?” He asked looking up at the blue sky. It was just a little after noon if he had to guess, about an hour or so at most. “I mean when they are actually out.”
“Once, and it was amazing. They shine brightly and give a subtle feeling of comfort that only a mother could outmatch.” Sapphire said as she looked into the sky, observing the lazy and unmanageable clouds drift by and contort their shape. The silence once again reigned over the duo, making the world around them calm and inviting. Nothing could break the tranquility that fell over them.
“Come on girls! This is it!” A voice said as the sound of multiple sets hooves rapidly hitting the stone floor echoed up to the duo. Chad’s eyes snapped open and he shot up to stare at the pathway that lead up to the plateau.
“Other people? This far out?” He questioned as Sapphire’s eyes snapped to the pathway as well.
“Hmm. I don’t think those are the company you are looking for, but they still may be able to help out. Ponies are the friendliest bunch you will ever meet.” Sapphire said before closing her eyes again.
“Wait what do you mean ‘Ponies’? Do you mean small horses? Horses don’t talk!” Chad said looking at Sapphire with a confused expression, only receiving a small snort in response. “You aren’t going to say anything else are you?” Again, only a snort in return. “Load of help you are.”
~(-)~
Twilight and her friends ran up the pathway, hearing a voice at the top. They continued to run up the mountain's pathway before they arrived at the final pathway that reached up to the top of the plateau. Stopping and making sure all of her friends were with her, she gave them a nod as a way of saying ‘Ready?’. Receiving the same in return, she slowly began to trot up the small pathway.
Reaching the top, she stepped onto the flat stone surface to see a terrifying sight. Before her laid a massive blue dragon on it’s side, it’s head curled towards it’s stomach. This wasn’t the part that scared her, it was the creature that stood next to the massive winged creature that induced a state of fear in her.
The creature was like nothing she had ever seen. It stood tall, tall as Celestia, if not a little taller, and was almost completely hairless, using clothing to make up for it, apart from a long, thick, black mane that seemed to drape down it’s head like a curtain of a play, covering all but what was needed. Instead of hooves or paws, this creature had a rubbery and fabric covered foot and five dull looking claws on it’s hands. The most unnerving feature was it’s eyes. They almost seemed to glow the shade of blue they adorned.
She seemed to literally be frozen in fear until she heard it’s voice. “What the fuck is this?” It said in a masculine, almost comforting, tone.
“Twilight! What is i-..” Rainbow Dash began before she landed next to Twilight, letting her jaw drop at the sight she saw. The rest of her friend soon followed up and stood next to her, staring at the creature before them. The tension in the air was so thick, you could practically taste it. Twilight took a gulp before taking a step towards the creature, it only looking at her curiously raising an eyebrow behind it’s mane.
As she got closer, she cleared her throat and began. “H-Hello, strange creature! I am Princess Twilight Sparkle of Equestria!”
The creature’s jaw dropped for a moment before it shook it’s head rapidly from side to side. “D-.. Did you just talk?” It asked.
“Y-yes, I did.” Twilight confirmed making the creature walk from the dragon towards her. She tensed up as it neared her, but relaxed somewhat as it stopped few hooves away.
“Twilight, you said, right?” The creature asked, pointing a finger at her. Twilight gulped and nodded before watching it kneel down and look at her. She fidgeted nervously as the creature practically scanned her with it’s eerie eyes before letting out a tired sigh. “I should have expected something like this...” It said shaking its head.
“Wh-what do you mean?” Twilight asked curiously as she watched the creature stand back up, making her crane her neck.
“If you can’t tell, I am not from around here. In fact, I have no clue where I am. But apparently..” The creature’s voice began to raise. “It has dragons, talking ponies with horns and wings, big fucking cat bat things, and god damned wolves made from fucking wood that try and eat you!!” It angrily kicked a plume of dust into the air and ran it’s claws through it’s mane, letting out a frustrated groan and lowered it’s voice. “Christ, could this get any stranger?” He muttered.
“Are you okay, mister..?” Twilight began taking a ginger step towards the creature.
“The name is Chad, and to be honest... I have no clue what I am right now. I am angry, confused, scared, and homesick. So if you have a word for that, then that’s what I am!” ‘Chad’ said throwing his arms in the air. Twilight looked back at her friends, who just shrugged in confusion.
“Alright, Chad. Can you please calm down? I’d like to ask you something.” Twilight asked taking another step towards him.
“Yeah sure, go ahead!” Chad said in an aggravated tone, putting his hands at his sides and looking down at her, making her shiver at his eyes again.
“Where are you from exactly?” She asked sheepishly, making Chad scoff and then sigh as if he just realized something.
“I am from America. Colorado, Evergreen to be more specific. But I am going to naturally assume you don’t know where that is.” He said only letting Twilight confirm what he said with a shake of her head. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”
“May I ask what you are?” Twilight inquired, sitting on her haunches.
“I am a Human.” He said plainly, watching as Twilight’s friends walked over to sit next to her. “But now I have a question to ask you.”
“Alright, go ahead.” Twilight said giving a friendly smile.
“Where am I?” He asked and crossed his arms.
“You are on planet Equus, in Equestria, more specifically, the Everfree Forest.” Twilight said in a proud tone and being as specific as possible. Chad just looked at her a moment, as if he was unsure whether to believe her words or not. He quickly turned on his heels and walked back to the large Dragon before leaning against it’s side and sliding down to sit on the ground, staring off into the distance. “Are you okay?”
She began to walk before, an almost protective, short growl erupted from the large dragon as it’s eyes snapped open to look at the ponies, making them shiver and cower by huddling next to each other. Twilight only could stare at the dragon before it simply laid there staring at them, almost expecting them to make a move before it turned it’s head to look at Chad. As they followed the dragon’s gaze, they found him with his arms hugging his legs and his face buried in his knees.
“Chad?” The large dragon asked, surprising the whole group. “Are you okay?”
“.... This is such bull shit...” Chad muttered out, just loud enough for everyone to hear.
~(-)~
Chad hadn't thought of it until now. He knew he was somewhere else, but he hadn’t thought he would be on a completely different planet. As the realization hit him, he realized he most likely wouldn’t be able to go home. See his mother again. See his old friends. Everything he knew was now gone, thanks to his stupid curiosity.
He let out a mournful sigh and felt tears begin to build up in his vision. At least wanting to keep his dignity, he slowly got up, making sure to keep his face hidden, and began to walk towards the cave. As he entered, he saw Sapphire begin to get up before he turned to her and said.
“Please let me be for right now. I need to think some things over.” He said quietly, hoping his depressing mind set did not seep into his voice. Sapphire stopped moving before nodding and then laying her head back down, letting her gaze snap back to the ponies. He walked into the cave, going as deep as he could and letting the darkness conceal him. Finally reaching the back of the cave, he reached out and felt the wall before leaning against and sliding down to meet the floor.
It didn’t take long for his vision to blur up and the sobs begin to set in. He tried to keep himself quiet, but didn’t try hard as he let the information finally hit him with all it’s might. The only thing he wanted was even less likely to happen now and he couldn’t handle it. Maybe it was just the bluntness he received the information, maybe it was he realized it when he arrived but ignored it. To him, it didn’t matter anymore. The loss of his old life was like a knife wound. It stung like a thousand hellfires, and dug deep into his heart.
“This is just unfair...” He whimpered out as he buried his face into his hands.

//-------------------------------------------------------//
            Chapter 3: (Insert witty pun here)             
//-------------------------------------------------------//
Chapter 3: (Insert witty pun here)
Smokey Arrival  
Chapter 3:   
(Insert witty pun here)  
Written by: Slayerbrony
“He has been in there for quite some time, hasn’t he?” Rarity commented as she looked at the cave entrance. Chad had yet to come out even after the muffled sobs had ended. Twilight only sighed in a mixture of annoyance from the dragon that wouldn’t let them anywhere near the cave, and remorse from being so blunt with the visitor.
“Well what do you expect?” Rainbow said shrugging in the air. “When you practically dump the idea of being somewhere your not supposed to be onto somepony, they are probably going to take it a bit hard.”
“Ah am a bit more worried about how he got that thar dragon to be all friendly with him.” Applejack said eyeing Sapphire warily as she laid next to the entrance of the cave, now laying on her belly. “Y’all don’ think he has some weird magic, do ya?”
“I don’t think so Applejack. He most likely would have used it to get out of the forest, or possibly on us if he did.” Twilight said as she looked into the dark cave. “He is probably just scared and lost.”
“That still doesn’t explain how he got a freakin’ dragon to help him!” Rainbow exclaimed, making Sapphire snort. Rainbow Dash flinched slightly, but shook off the feeling before returning her attention to Twilight.
“You’re right. It doesn’t. But if we wait till he comes back, then we can ask.” Twilight said nodding her head as if to assure herself that was the case. So here they sat, waiting for what seemed like ages before Rainbow Dash let out a groan.
“This is taking too long!” She shouted before flopping into the dirt, staring blankly up at the blue cloudless sky. The rest of the girls only rolled their eyes at their cyan friend.
“She does have a point though, we need to get back to the Princess, and I am sure she would want to how we are doing and what the creature is.” Twilight said before she pulled out a scroll and quill making Rainbow Dash scoff quietly.
“You brought quills and parchment all the way out here?” She said in a almost disbelieving tone. “Once a egghead, always a egghead.”
“I brought them to document what we were sent to investigate.” Twilight explained, practically ignoring the ‘Egghead’ comment while she quickly scribbled down on the parchment before her horn lit up brightly and sent off the message in a swirl of smoke. “There! Now, we wait for Celestia to tell us what she wants to do.”
“What did you ask Celestia?” Pinkie Pie asked looking at Twilight with a quizzical expression.
“Simply if she wanted us to bring the Human to her or let her come and meet it. Along with what it was and what it looked like, but that is obvious. Only we are going to have to wait to get home before I can read her reply because I forgot her letters still go straight to spike.” Twilight said before she looked back at the cave, then the dragon. Sapphire still had her eyes firmly locked on all the ponies. She knew ponies were peaceful creatures, but she had learned over time that when ponies are traveling with a Alicorn, that usually means something big is going on.
“What does your Princess want with him, if I may inquire?” Sapphire asked, suddenly getting the ponies attention.
“The human was part of a large magical influx. We don’t know if he was the cause of it or simply part of it, but we have to be sure he is not a threat to Equestria or its inhabitants.” Twilight stated, looking nervously at the dragon. Sapphire was about to open her mouth, but decided against it as she didn’t know much about Chad either. Sure he had told her a few things, but nothing about himself.
“I see. I am going to go and check on Chad.” Sapphire said as she stood up and turned in place before entering the cave, leaving the ponies to simply gaze inside of the cave. They had entered a cave with a dragon inside before and it had not gone the way they planned. “Chad?”
Chad had stopped his sobbing a while ago, now he was sitting with his back pressed against the wall and a stoic expression left on his face. Sapphire laid down and gave him a concerned look. She nudged his foot with her nose, to see if he was even awake. He opened one eye to see Sapphire’s ruby eyes. He gave a soft chuckle before letting out a sniff.
“You always watch people when they aren’t looking?” He said with a choked up voice and letting out another awkward chuckle.
“I see you are feeling somewhat better.” Sapphire said with a gentle smile.
“Yeah... Still depressed as hell, but yeah... Better.” He said nodding slightly. “So, do you know what those ponies out there want?”
“They said something about you being a connected to an influx of magic and if you are a threat to the ponies.” She informed making Chad let out a small chuckle. “What are you laughing at?”
“They think I am a threat? More like a walking punching bag.” Chad scoffed. Sapphire only raised an eyebrow as she watched Chad stand up and stretch. “Anyway, might as well meet the populace huh?”
“If you are trying to make peace with them, then that would probably be the best course of action.” Sapphire said with a chuckle. Chad just walked over and gave her a pat on the nose, pretty much the extent of his affection he could give, before heading to the cave entrance.
He walked out into the sunlight, covering his eyes with a hand for a brief moment before sighing and blinking a few times. Sapphire’s head poked out of the cave for a moment as both Chad and Sapphire glanced at the ponies before he walked over and knelt down.
“Um... Hey?” Chad said lifting an arm and waving his hand gently. The ponies all looked at each and gave him a weird look, confused from his mood change. Twilight looked back at her friends before stepping forward and holding out a hoof.
“Hello, Mister Chad. I am sorry for being so blunt earlier. I was just a bit nervous.” Twilight said sheepishly. He smirked at Twilight before slowly reaching out and, gentle, gripping her hoof. Sharing a quick Hoof/Handshake, they let go of each other and Chad stood up.
“So Miss... Sparkle correct?” Chad asked receiving a nod in return. “May I ask who all of these other lovely ponies who joined you are?” ‘First meetings are always the most important’ Remembering the words that his father told him before he left.
“These are my friends. Come on girls! He isn’t going to bite!” She said before quickly turning to him and looking up at him with a nervous expression. “You’re not right?”
Chad just chuckled and shook his head. Twilight grinned up and him before nodding at her friends. Warily, they all began to walk forward and stopped in front of Chad, still having to slightly tilt their heads up due to his size. The first pony to greet him was Applejack as she walked up to him and gave him a very inquisitive and almost studious gaze, making him slightly shift in place before she smiled up at him and held out her hoof.
“Th’ name’s Applejack! Pleasure tah meet ya!” She said as he took her hoof and she proceeded to nearly tear his arm off. He gave her a pained smile and let go of her hoof before putting a hand onto his shoulder and rubbed it gingerly.
“Pleasure’s all mine.” He said before Pinkie hopped over to him and to his surprise, but nopony else’s, stood on her hind legs and gave him a hug around the neck. He went stiff for a moment before somewhat relaxing and slowly wrapping his arms around the bubbly pink pony. When she let go, he let her drop back onto all fours before she smiled brightly and spoke out in her usual perky tone.
“Hi! I am Pinkie Pie, it’s super awesome to meet an alien! I never met an alien before, Oh! do you like music?! Wait, of course you like music! Who doesn’t like music?” Pinkie spouted out at high speed. Chad blinked before tapping the pony on the nose, making her stop so she could look at what was trying to gain her attention. Her eyes crossed and looked at the finger that was currently at the middle on her nose.
“Uh... Yes, I do like music and it’s nice to meet you too, Pinkie.” He said chuckling sheepishly. Pinkie just smiled a bit wider and giggled happily as Chad took his finger away and she bounced back to her group of friends. The next pony to walk up to him was none other than Rainbow Dash and gave him a glare, which unnerved him slightly considering he was being glared at by a rainbow maned pony. She dropped the glare and sighed before giving him a, almost, welcoming smile.
“I am Rainbow Dash! The fastest pegasus you will ever meet!” She boasted before holding out her hoof. “Nice to meet you!”
“Likewise.” He said gripping her hoof and giving it a firm shake before letting go and letting her go back to her friends. The next of the last two was Rarity, and she trotted forward in her usual elegant manner before examining the human with a almost strucinizing stare.
“Mister Chad, I have to ask... Are these the only clothing you have with you?” She asked looking up at him. He chuckled sheepishly and looked back at Sapphire who only blushed faintly and looked away.
“I used to have a coat and hat, but I lost them during my.... Arrival.” He said grinning awkwardly. “But no, other than my pants, shirt, and shoes, I have got nothing else to wear.”
“Well that will not do!” Rarity exclaimed making Chad flinch slightly, letting her adorn a small blush before going back to her point. “You simply cannot meet the princess in these!.. These!... These rags!”
‘But I like this shirt!... Well it is stained in dirt, dragon puke, and other debris... And that pink one just hugged me. Good god, I hope she doesn’t get sick.’ “Well I don’t know where I could find any pers- sorry, pony that would be willing to make a ‘alien’ clothing.” Chad said scratching the back of his head.
“Well I happen to be a clothing dressmaker and clothing designer! I will gladly make you a new set of clothing for meeting the princesses, and if you are staying here a set of casual wear!” Rarity said practically beaming. Before Chad could open his mouth, Rarity spoke up again. “And don’t you worry about paying, it’s simply a joy and delight to be able to create something for a species that is not of this world!”
Chad was astonished, but who was he to turn down a chance to get a set of free clothing? He could only let out a disbelieving snort before smiling down at Rarity. “I.. I don’t know what to say. I guess ‘Thank you’ would be in order. So... Thank you.”
“It’s no problem at all!” Rarity said smiling up at him before trotting back to her friends. “We will get the details of what you would like later!”
“O-okay!” He said, gleeful to the thought of getting out of the disgusting garments he was still wearing. The final pony to walk up to him, more like pushed forward actually, was Fluttershy who hid behind her mane and squeaked something out. Chad looked at her with a raised eyebrow before looking to her friends. The ponies behind her mouthed the word ‘Animals’ before pointing at their insanely shy friend.
“Um... Hello? Uh... Do you, um. Like dogs?” He asked with an awkward grin before the Fluttershy’s headshot up with a grin firmly planted on her lips.
“I love dogs! Do you like dogs?” She asked in a much less timid tone, looking him dead in the eyes before recoiling slightly and looking away again. “I mean um...”
Chad gave a small chuckle at the little pegasus before nodding. “I love dogs too. I had five when I was growing up, all different breeds. My favorite is a Husky though.”
“Really?” She asked actually looking up at him now.
“Really.” Chad said giving another chuckle. Fluttershy traced circle in the ground with her hoof for a moment before she gingerly held out a hoof for him.
“I-I’m F-Fluttershy.” She said quietly. He gently took her hoof and shook it lightly before letting it go and letting her quickly return to her friends. Twilight walked back to Chad before giving him a smile and sitting down in front of him.
“Now that you have met my friends, do you think you can come with us to meet the princess?” Twilight asked tilting her head before Rarity walked over and whispered something to her making her groan and roll her eyes. “Okay, are you ready to go to Ponyville to get your new clothes, then go meet the princess?”
“Um...” He began scratching his head before looking back at Sapphire, as if asking for help. The only response he got in return was a saddened look from Sapphire. “I... Kinda remember being promised a ride to the forest from a friend.” A small smirk graced his features as he watched Sapphire grin happily.
“Really? By who?” Twilight asked confused. Chad walked over to Sapphire before she lowered her head and he hopped onto her nose and walked up to between her horns.
“Who else but the only friend here, I got?” He asked slyly making all the ponies, aside from Pinkie and Fluttershy, jaw’s drop. Sapphire raised her head and smirked down at the ponies, feeling quite smug at the moment, and pretty happy that he chose her over a bunch of ponies but they didn’t need to know that.
“B-but a dragon can’t fly into town! That would cause a panic!” Twilight argued before Chad shook his head and frowned.
“Look, I am not one to back out of something, plus I mean who is going to pass up the chance to ride a badass dragon?” Chad retorted. “Besides it’s just to the edge of the forest, so you don’t have to worry none.”
Sapphire sighed quietly at that, she didn’t want her friend, if not only current friend, to leave so soon. Twilight wanted to take the human to town so that she didn’t lose sight of him easily, but he was acting more stubborn that Applejack right now.
“Okay fine! You can ride your dragon friend to the edge of the forest, but no further alright?” Twilight said before Chad nodded. “But on one condition! You have to take one of us with you, to make sure we meet you at the edge of the forest!”
“I’ll do it!” Rainbow Dash said flying over and hovering next to Chad. The human only sighed and nodded before hugging onto one of Sapphire’s horns as she rose from the ground. Applejack walked over to Twilight before whispering.
“Are you sure that is a good idea, Twi? I mean, we don’t exactly know a whole lot about this... Human.” She said looking worriedly up at the human whom was resting on the top of Sapphire’s head.
“I am positive. If he had any magic, he would have used it to get away from us and if he was violent he would have attacked us sooner. Even more so, he is going to have to hold onto that dragon the entire time, so he will not be able to do anything to Rainbow Dash.” Twilight assured making Applejack nod.
“Alright, Twilight. I trust you.” She said as they watched Chad clung onto the massive spine that protruded from Sapphire’s head and watched as Rainbow Dash did the same to the spine behind Chad.
“We will see you at the forest’s edge! Look for us alright?!” Twilight shouted as Sapphire expanded her wings. Chad gave her a nod and a thumb’s up before Sapphire took off with a mighty wave of her leathery wings. As they flew into the sky, and letting the dust settle much to Rarity’s displeasure, Twilight beckoned her friends over before her horn glowed.
“What are you doing Twilight?” Pinkie asked tilting her head at Twilight.
“I making sure we get there before them. Everypony stay still.” Twilight said with a smirk before a loud ‘SNAP’ filled the air and all the ponies were missing from sight.
~(-)~
“HOLY SHIT, THIS IS SO FUCKING COOL!” Chad bellowed over the winds as he heard Sapphire laugh from under him and a small chuckle come from Rainbow Dash. The wind whipping past his ears, the feeling of total weightlessness when they went downwards, and even the simple view of going above the land without a airplane window getting in the way. He was enjoying every second of it, nothing could ruin this moment in his mind.
“Don’t get too excited! We are going to have to land soon!” Sapphire said over the winds, her size making it much easier to vocalize. Chad gave a small sad smile before nodding and chuckling.
“This is too awesome for anything to ruin the mood!” He said happily as he glanced over her neck to look at the ground before feeling a all too familiar feeling of chills down his spine. Soon the trio flew to the edge of the forest and she hovered over the land before gently, as she could, landed on the ground. She lowered her head to allow Chad to hop off, while Rainbow Dash simply flew off her spines and landed on the ground next to the massive dragon. Chad let go of her spines before spastically jumping down onto her nose before hopping onto the ground. He stumbled for a moment before spinning in place and falling flat on his back, making Sapphire give a suppressed chuckle.
Chad just threw his arms in the air from the ground and cackled like a madman. “Oh my god!... That was the most epic thing I have ever done in my life!” He said as he began to pant for breath. Sudden change in altitude gave him a bit of a headache and made his lungs constrict somewhat, but in his mind, all of it was worth it.
Sapphire gave him a merry giggle while Rainbow Dash laughed loudly. “I am glad you enjoyed it. It’s nice having someone to fly with.” Sapphire said as she watched the human lean upwards and slowly begin to pick himself up.
As he stood up completely, dusting his back off, Twilight and her friends ran over to them from the entrance of the forest, only a small run away. Twilight ran over to the trio before Rainbow Dash flew over to them and hovered above the group. Chad just finished ‘cleaning’ his shirt before he turned back to Twilight and gave her a smug smile.
“I told you I don’t go back on my word.” He said before he looked around the area they were in. Aside from the somewhat foreboding forest next to them, they were surrounded by a lush and green plain, filled with flowers of all colors and small critters of the forest gathering pieces for nests and food. “You guys really live in a beautiful place, you know that?”
“Yes.” Twilight replied simply as she looked over the plain herself, admiring the scenery for a moment before returning her attention to Chad. “Now, please, follow us. We need to get you to town so that we may get your clothing and get you ready for meeting the princesses.”
“Sounds like a plan!” He said as he began to walk to the ponies before he stopped and turned to look at Sapphire. “Um... But what about Sapphire?”
Twilight sighed and lifted up a hoof to rub the bridge of her nose. In some part of her mind, she knew this question would come up. “Well. If we brought her to the village, she would cause an uproar, no pun intended, and I can plainly see you are pretty set on not leaving your dragon friend here alone.”
“If I may...” Sapphire said as she walked over and laid down behind Chad and in front of the ponies. “In times of great need, dragons can... Shrink themselves down to a more suitable size so that food does not dwindle.”
“What do you mean ‘Shrink’?” Twilight asked, her inquisitive side taking over for a moment. Sapphire sighed, one that was tired and almost annoyed.
“When there is a overpopulation or a gem shortage and animals are scarce or not large enough to fill our bellies, we will shrink our size down to catch smaller game along with allowing space for families to grow.” Sapphire said as she looked at the ponies. “The effects last as long as we want, but we must be careful when changing in size, for the sudden change may or may not kill us.”
“How does that happen?” Chad asked looking at Sapphire, his tone and expression one of a curious child, making Sapphire giggle lightly.
“Well... When you change in size, it’s your whole being shrunk or stretched. It takes hours, days for older dragons, to change size.” Sapphire said making Chad cringe.
“Ooh. That sounds painful...” He said wincing.
“Somewhat, yes. But for the most part it just feels like someone is squeezing you.” Sapphire said shrugging her massive shoulders. She stretched a moment before looking off into the hillside, seeing the edges of the buildings of a town peek over the hills. “If we take things slowly, I may change my size to where I may not cause a panic.”
“Why would you do that though?” Twilight asked making Sapphire look off for a moment. She just smiled and looked at Chad before chuckling.
“It won’t make sense now, but in a way, he is my responsibility. And he is my friend. It is uncommon for a dragon to gain a friend that lasts more than a day. I don’t know about how Humans’ friendships go, but I’d like to make this one at least last.” Sapphire said. Twilight could only smile at the thought. “So I must ask, if I were to make myself less intimidating, would I be allowed to enter the town with Chad and not cause an uproar?”
Twilight hummed in thought for a moment before looking back at her friends, all whom just shrugged aside from Fluttershy who was still a little fidgety from having to be near a dragon so long. Letting out a small sigh she looked at Chad, who was giving her an almost childish expectant look. She shook her head and then looked at Sapphire before nodded.
“I don’t see why not. As long as you don’t do anything to cause a panic, there is no reason you can’t come with us.” Twilight said defeated. Sapphire gave a smile as Chad did a small fistpump.
“Alright, you go ahead. I shall be with you shortly.” Sapphire said before she closed her eyes and made Chad tilt his head before she opened one eye and rolled it, clicking her tongue in annoyance. She used one claw to push him to the ponies before saying. “Go on, I said I will be with you shortly.”
“You give me your word?” Chad asked looking at her with a serious tone taking over his voice. Sapphire only gave him a wry grin and nodded. Giving her one last smile, he turned back to the ponies and nodded, letting they turn in place and lead him away from the forest.
~(-)~
Chad seemed idle as they walked to the town, Twilight talking about how everypony in the town was kind and caring, albeit a little quick to jump to conclusions but after that Chad’s hearing simply faded off, as if a wind was overpowering all of her words. The only thing on Chad’s mind was the past day.
One minute, he was wondering where his life was going to go after he got canned from his job, fired from his team, and then hit by a car. The next he was being puked up by a Dragon like a snake regurgitating it’s meal, then being practically taken in by said dragon, and then meeting a bunch of technicolor ponies. If he told anyone back home this story, he wouldn’t even have a second before he was put in a straitjacket. Still a possibility here. Thank god he at least found some sentient beings, that were kind at that.
“CHAD!” Pinkie shouted as she was hugging his waist with her hind legs so she could grab onto the sides of his head and yell directly at Chad. He blinked before letting out a small yelp at Pinkie’s sudden appearance in his vision. She let out a giggle before looking behind her at all of her friends.
“He’s okay!” She said happily before simply letting go of him and falling to the dirt road they were on.
“You okay Chad? Ya went a little milky eyed for a moment.” Applejack said giving him a small chuckle, letting a small blush become applied to his cheeks.
“Heh, I’m sorry. Was just... Reviewing my life for the past day and a half.” He said looking up at the sky, seeing the sun well past noon. Everypony gave him a small sympathetic look before stopping to see how far they had left to walk.
“Chad, I have to ask. While we are in Ponyville, would you mind telling me exactly what happened to bring you here?” Twilight asked making Chad look at her. He gave her a shrug and no more before saying.
“Sure, I don’t see any harm in it. Pretty bland, and kinda gross.”
“Why is it gro-” Twilight began before he raised a hand and clenched his eyes shut.
“Please, let’s... Just save it for when we talk.” He said as he attempted to get the feeling of upchucking to go away as soon as possible. Once his stomach felt normal again, he opened his eyes to see the ponies with unsure expressions.
“Alright... Let’s continue.” Twilight said as she nodded towards the town and they began to walk again. The rest of the walk was fairly simple, no real intrusions, the sun slowly setting letting a gentle orange glow cover the world. When they finally got back to the town, the sun had set completely leaving only the moon to keep the night lit up.
“Ah... Nightlife.” Chad muttered to himself as he looked around the town, seeing only a light on in a home here and there. Soon they found themselves in the middle of the town, the town hall marking the area they were in.
“Well, this is where I depart.” Rarity said letting out a cute yawn. “Chad, please come by tomorrow so that we may get you out of your... Eye sore.” Chad only nodded as he watched the unicorn trot off.
“Well, ah might as well start heading home mahself. G’night Chad, g’night everypony.” Applejack said tipping her hat to the group before she too trotted off.
“I gotta get my Z’s, see you later everypony.” Rainbow Dash said before simply flying off. Fluttershy tried to get more out than a squeak, but timidly just began to walk off, while trying to cover up a yawn that would most likely have given a weaker man a heart attack. Poor Chad was having a inside battle for his heart to stay pumping.
“Good night, Chaddy! Byebye Twilight!” Pinkie said, giving both the pony and a human a hug before happily bouncing off to her home and workplace. Twilight and Chad simply sat in the middle of the town, in the pitch black before they both came to a realization.
“They ditched us!” They both said simultaneously. Both groaning in unison, Twilight began to walk to her home, Chad simply following since he had no idea where he was or where he was going. As they reached the town library, and Twilight’s current residence when she was visiting friends, she pulled out a key from a loose branch a few feet above them before she unlocked the door.
As the door swung open, they heard a small rustling. Both of them turned their heads before a blue blur knocked poor Chad onto his back, forcefully evacuating the air from his lungs. Twilight could only blink blankly at what just happened before her eyes. Shaking herself out of her stupor, her horn lit up to see what exactly had fell her human companion. Thankfully it was none other than the familiar, azure flame breathing, ruby eyed dragon that they both knew.
“I told you I would meet up with you.” Sapphire said, her voice much quieter and gentle than before, although her tone carried a smug sense to it. Chad gasped air into his lungs before looking down at Sapphire and blinking in surprise before lifting a hand and touching her lower jaw, making her hum in approval.
“Hmmm...” He hummed with a scrutinizing tone apparent. Sapphire only pouted slightly and looked at him.
“You don’t think this is me?” She asked, her tone almost sounding hurt.
“Only one way to be sure...” He said before he lifted his other hand and poked the belly of the supposedly shrunken dragon. She let out a small yelp, her whole body flinching at the sudden contact, making Chad laugh out loud as she glared at him. “Okay okay, you’re Sapphire.”
“... This has certainly been an eventful day.” Twilight said to herself tiredly as she walked into the library. “Dear Princess Celestia... Today I met a weird alien who befriended a dragon who apparently likes to pounce attack him in the middle of the night...” Her mutterings slowly faded out before she walked back and gave the duo a deadpanned stare. “Are you two going to sleep out here like that or are you going to get inside where we can sleep?”
“Somepony is grouchy when they are tired.” Chad chuckled sleepily as Sapphire crawled off of him, allowing him to get a good look at her. She was about the size of a smaller Great Dane, give or take a few inches, and was certainly taller than Twilight who only came up to his waist. Standing up, he walked into the library, shuffling around in the dark before candles lit up the building, making him blink at the sudden light. “Ow...” He mumbled as he clasped a hand over his eyes.
“I don’t have a spare room for you, but I do have a spare blanket you may borrow along with a pillow. So I would recommend you taking the couch, unless you prefer the floor.” Twilight said as she levitated a blanket and pillow down the stairs and handing them to Chad as she walked up the stairs.
“Umm... Thank you, I guess.” Chad said as he looked at the blanket and pillow. He was about to ask another question, but the sound of a door closing made his question automatically invalid. With nothing left holding him back, he walked over to the couch, which resided on the opposite end of the room, and sat down on it before placing a pillow on one end and curling up onto the small couch.
Shifting several times he couldn’t get comfortable, so he settled for sleeping on the ground. He folded the blanket in half and put the pillow on one end as a impromptu sleeping bag, or sleeping mat in this case, and laid down onto his back. Closing his eyes, he let out a relaxed sigh finally being able to actually rest from the hectic day he had gone through. There was a minute or two before he felt something warm press against his side. Opening one eye, he saw Sapphire curled up against his side, her wings tucked against her back, her tail curled around her body like a cat.
Giving a small chuckle, he closed his eyes again and let the welcoming embrace of sleep take over his mind. And the night was silent once again as only the soft sounds of gentle snores were heard through the library. That and Chad’s incoherent babbling about pizza monsters.
Author's Note
I am really sorry if this chapter is sub par guys, my insomnia didn't let me get ANY sleep last night, so all I did was write. If you spot any mistakes, just send them to me over a PM and I will quickly go correct them.

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               Chapter 4: The morning after                
//-------------------------------------------------------//
Chapter 4: The morning after
Smokey Arrival  
Chapter 4:  
The morning after  
Written by: Slayerbrony
Twilight woke up with a yawn and a stretch, feeling the wondrous rejuvenation that came with every good night’s sleep. Levitating the covers off of her form, she hopped out of bed, giving one more stretch of her hind legs before looking over at her little dragon assistant. Watching the drake snore softly for a minute or two, she trotted out of her room, quietly closing the door, before heading down to check on her guests.
As she went down the staircase, she noticed that the human was not on the couch, but laying on the floor with his dragon friend curled up against his side. Smiling softly at the sight, she walked over to make sure the two were still asleep before a very noticeable stench made her scrunch up her nose in disgust. Looking around for a moment, trying to find the source of the odor, her vision finally settled on the human. Twilight shook her head as she remembered how he had been out in the wilderness. She walked over and nudged his foot, making him groan in annoyance. When he didn’t get up, she poked his foot harder making him push her away with his fabric covered foot.
Huffing in annoyance herself, she let her horn glow before pinching Chad’s arm with her magic. The human yelped and shot up, clutching his left arm in pain. He shook his head and glared at Twilight for a moment before yawning.
“Why...” Chad began before he yawned again, smacking his lips to try and get rid of the morning breath taste that had settled on his tongue. “Why did you do that?”
“To get you up. No offense, but you don’t exactly smell... Pleasant.” Twilight said plainly before she put a hoof over her nose to keep the smell from getting to her again. “If you wouldn’t mind, could you please go bathe? There is a bathroom upstairs.”
“Oh I can’t possibly smell that ba-” He began as he lifted his arm and took a small experimental sniff before gagging slapping a hand over his mouth and nose, letting his arm drop back to the floor to let the stench be somewhat dampened. “Okay... Nevermind. Where is your bathroom, again?”
“Upstairs, first door on the left.” Twilight said, her hoof still clamped over her nose.
Chad nodded and stood up before heading up the steps and walking along the hallway. Finding the bathroom, he opened the door and looked around the room. It was somewhat primitive, but considering the style of buildings and the fact that they had candlelight meant that technology was probably not all that advanced in this age. Not to mention how everything was shrunken down by a good six inches.
All in all, it was a normal shower aside from its rustic and smaller look. Not one to complain, he stripped and turned on the shower, quietly yelping as the ice cold water woke him up and stung slightly before the warmth of the hot water began to seep into his skin, making him sigh in relief.
Twilight heard the shower go off and sighed before looking back at the dragon that lay in the middle of the floor. She frowned slightly, letting out another sigh as she considered the dragon's presence in her library. The dragon seemed more tame than feral, remembering their last encounter with a wild dragon. Plus with her being smaller meant she would be less of a hassle should she actually think to get hostile.
Filing away this information for later, and resolving to watch the dragon in the meantime, she walked into the kitchen and set up the stove along with a small pot for tea. Twilight gave a small sigh as she filled up the teapot and added a bag of mint tea. As she finished setting up the pot, a certain purple and green drake called out to her.
“Twilight! Why is there another dragon in the library?” he said in a confused tone. She walked into the room and found Spike staring at the blue dragon in the middle of the floor.
“Don’t worry Spike, she is just here with a... Friend.” Twilight said giggling slightly at the little drake. Spike didn’t stop staring at the dragon, as if he was expecting her to jump up from the blanket and pounce on them. “Don’t worry Spike, but we do have guests, so would you mind getting breakfast started?”
“Yeah sure, Twilight!” Spike said cheerfully as he jogged into the kitchen. There was a good minute or two before the sound of pots and pans crashing to the ground was heard, making Twilight wince. “I’m okay!”
Twilight just rolled her eyes as she giggled and looked to Sapphire, whom was lazily raising her head and looking around. She stood up and stretched out, letting her claws extend out a bit further, and let out a big yawn, showing her impressive set of pencil thick, needle like teeth. Twilight shuddered slightly and shifted a bit nervously as she sat up and straightened her posture. Even shrunken down she still towered over Twilight by a good head or two. Sapphire snapped her vision towards Twilight, making the purple alicorn flinch slightly, before sighing and stretching her wings out and letting out a relieved sigh as a small pop came from both of her wings’ joints.
After that, the two of them mostly just stared at one another, waiting for the other to say something or move. The tension was thicker than molasses at this point, but was quickly broken when a voice called out.
“Um, Twilight? Could I get a towel up here?” Chad asked from the bathroom as he was poking his head out of the open door. Twilight let out a relieved breath before turning and walking to the stairs.
“One moment!” she said as she hurriedly walked up the steps and grabbed a towel from the closet and walked over to the bathroom before knocking. Chad opened up the door, just a crack so he could poke his head out, careful of where he was standing so he did not show any of his assets.
“Thank you, could you just, uh, pass it here please?” he asked holding out a hand. Twilight just shrugged and levitated the towel into his grip. He thanked her again before closing the door. Twilight simply waited next to the door, mostly because she didn’t want another awkward moment with the dragon. Five minutes later, he emerged wearing his old clothing except for his shirt, which he had in his left hand while the towel was in his right. “Oh hey, Twilight. Where would you like me to put this?”
Twilight glanced at him and her eyes slightly widened at him. Now that he was properly bathed, she could see his physique. He had a well toned body, not so much that he was bulging with muscle like a certain pegasus she had seen around town, but in such a way that you could tell he did something to keep shape. She must have been staring because she was brought out of her stupor by Chad snapping his fingers in front of her eyes.
“Hey, you okay?” he asked as she shook her head and looked up at him to see his ice blue eyes again. She quickly nodded and blushed as she realized what she was previously doing. “Alrighty then. Do you by chance have a trash can? I need to get rid of this rag...”
“Yes, it’s in the kitchen. Come on, my assistant is making us breakfast,” Twilight said with a smile. Giving one in return, Chad followed Twilight down the stairs and into the main room where Sapphire was examining the walls around her.
“Morning Sapphire!” Chad said in a happy tone. ‘Who'da thunk a shower would be such a godsend? Oh well, I don’t smell like shit AND I am in a good mood now. Win-win!’ “Sleep well?”
“Quite well, thank you. It’s much easier to fall asleep when you are laying on something soft.” She said nodding before turning to Twilight and gave her a small smile. “And thank you for allowing us to stay in your home.”
“O-oh! It’s, um... No problem at all!” Twilight said pleasantly surprised about being thanked by this dragon. Giving a small smile she gestured to the kitchen with a hoof. “Come on, let’s get some breakfast.”
The human and dragon nodded, both with smiles gracing their lips. As they walked into the kitchen, she found Spike humming a small tune to himself as he flipped a set of pancakes in the pan. After gesturing for her guests to sit down, she walked over to the baby drake before tapping him on the shoulder to gain his attention. He turned around and grinned at Twilight.
“Hey Twilight, I almost got breakfa-” He began before he looked behind Twilight to see a strange hairless being sitting at the table with the dragon from the living room. His expression told Twilight he was about to have a small panic attack.
“Spike it’s okay! They are friendly, and they’re my guests.” Twilight said soothingly, putting a hoof on his shoulder since he was standing on a stool. He fidgeted a little as he looked at the two before Twilight rolled her eyes and chuckled. “This is Chad and his friend Sapphire. They are just staying for today so that Rarity may get him a new set of clothing.” She looked to the human and dragon before saying. “Chad and Sapphire, this is Spike. He is my number one assistant.”
“Sup!” Chad said, raising a hand and giving a small wave as Sapphire bowed her head towards Spike.
“Hey...” Spike said, waving back and then going back to his pancakes. Twilight just giggled and went to the table and sat down across from Chad and Sapphire.
“So, Chad. Now that we have a little spare time, would you like to tell me how you got here?” Twilight asked as she floated a quill and parchment to her.
Chad scratched his chin, feeling a little stubble that had been neglected, as he thought back. “Well to be honest, I don’t know how I got here, but I guess I could tell you what I remember,” Chad said making Twilight smile and nod. “Okay, where to start?... Ah! I was walking home from my... Previous job and I walked by this alleyway that held a strange glowing light.” Twilight nodded again as she prepared to write when it got to the actual transportation. “Normally I wouldn’t bother, but something about it was almost drawing me too it. The best analogy would be a Moth to a light, almost literally. Anyway, I walked over to the glowing thing and reached out to grab it to see what it was, and next thing I know I feel like something has grabbed me and is pulling me into the light.”
Twilight quickly scribbled down the notes and tapped her chin as she thought of what the light could have possibly been. “What happened after that?” she inquired looking at Chad who groaned and rubbed the bridge of his nose.
“Thats... Where it gets a bit nasty,” Chad said sighing. “What happened next is kinda of a blur, but what I remember is when I was well... Um. I kinda was projectile vomited into this world.”
Twilight blinked and tilted her head in confusion. “You arrived... By being thrown up?” she asked cringing a bit. Chad closed his eyes and nodded. Twilight opened her mouth and closed it several times as she tried to think of a response to that. Finally she came up with, “How?”
“Well I don’t know to be honest. I was just kinda... Puked out by Sapphire here when she was big and then I freaked out and passed out,” Chad said scratching the back of his neck and Sapphire groaned a little bit at the memory. “Next thing I know, I am waking up in a cave with her, she questioned me on how I got here and then the rest is just history.”
He may have left out the whole part where he was screaming like a little girl while he ran from Timberwolves, but that wasn't vital information. Twilight nodded as she looked over her notes. Something didn’t add up to the inquisitive purple alicorn. You couldn’t just touch a magical essence and get sucked in, you had to have a second equal power for the exit and have a trigger. Letting out a sigh, she decided to figure it out later. Just as she did that, Spike hopped off of his stool and placed a large plate of pancakes onto the table along with a pot of warm mint tea, pouring a cup for everyone at the table, himself included.
“Here you go everypony!” he said in a cheery tone. Twilight thanked her little assistant before looking over at Chad and Sapphire to see the former drooling at the sight of pancakes, making her giggle slightly.
“Well don’t be shy, eat up! Spike makes some of the best pancakes around,” Twilight said as she got herself a couple pancakes and drizzled some syrup onto them before beginning to eat. Chad didn’t even bother with the syrup and simply piled at least six pancakes onto his plate before devouring them with a gusto. Sapphire simply plucked one of the few pancakes that remained before nibbling onto the fluffy breakfast food. After a moment her eyes opened in surprise and she shoved the whole pancake into her mouth.
Spike simply blinked as he watched more than half of the pancakes go missing from the plate he set them on before chuckling to himself and discreetly giving himself a pat on the back for still having ‘The skills.’ They all enjoyed their breakfast of pancakes and tea, giving many compliments to the chef, before Chad felt the undeniable itch of the need for his addiction. He sighed and reached into his pocket to see his box of cigarettes, but quickly realized that he still didn’t have a lighter to light them. He groaned in annoyance before looking around and seeing the candles placed along the walls and the lamps on the desks.
Raising an eyebrow, he looked to Twilight and tapped her on the shoulder. She turned to look at him with a smile. “Hey, Twilight, do you possibly have a box of matches I could use?” he asked.
Twilight tapped her chin for a moment before nodding and glancing over to her desk. Her horn glowed as she levitated over a small box of matches to Chad, who gratefully accepted them. Taking several matches and placing them in the empty space of his cigarette box, he then pulled a single cigarette out, tucking it behind his ear. He handed the box back to Twilight, furrowing his brow
“Wait, wasn’t I supposed to do something today...? Oh, shit. I have to go to... What’s-her-name’s place for new clothes!” Chad said facepalming. Twilight stopped and looked at a clock that hung from her wall before giggling and shaking her head.
“You don’t need to worry, her store isn’t even open this early in the morning. And her name is Rarity, Chad,” Twilight said, giggling as Chad just groaned and looked out the window to see the sun wasn’t that far into the sky. He facepalmed once more before he heard a loud belch erupt from behind both of them. Spike just let out a small embarrassed cough before he picked up a scroll in front of his toes and held it out to Twilight.
The purple alicorn took said scroll and unrolled it as Chad just raised an eyebrow as the curious alicorn as she quickly read through the scroll before giving a smile. She simply took a scroll and quill and began to scribble onto the scroll. She was writing so fast Chad thought he saw a small line of smoke rise from the scroll before she let out a relieved breath and levitated it over to Spike. “Please send that off, Spike.”
“Can do Twilight!” Spike said happily before he took the scroll into his claws along with taking a deep breath and breathed his emerald green flame over the scroll, letting it turn to ash and smoke. Chad just blinked and then furrowed his brow as he tried to comprehend what he just saw. Twilight saw his expression of confusion before speaking up.
“His dragon fire is enchanted so the letters get sent straight to the Princess,” Twilight said. A look of comprehension dawned on Chad’s face and he nodded.
“Instant messaging by dragon fire. That’s cool,” Chad said he shook his head. This world confused him beyond what he thought possible. “So... What was on the letter, if I can ask?”
“Oh nothing too bad, just the Princess saying she wanted us to bring you to her as soon as possible. I wrote her back saying that we needed to make a few arrangements for you before we brought you to Canterlot, seeing as you need some new clothing and all that,” Twilight said giving him a winning smile.
“Oh. Alright then,” Chad said with a smile before furrowing his brow. “So what do we do until your friend’s shop is open?”
“You mean Rarity? Well... Her shop is usually open around six or seven in the morning, so I’d say we should actually get moving right now,” Twilight said as she looked outside. Chad raised an eyebrow again as he looked outside as well, only to see the soft orange glow of the morning highlight the cobblestone roads that lay outside of the library.
“Why? Is there like a street patrol or something that’ll attack us?” Chad asked, making Twilight roll her eyes and shake her head.
“No silly, but I don’t think the ponies that live in the town will react well with seeing an alien wandering through the streets with a dragon by his side,” Twilight said, giggling and making Chad scoff.
“I am not that terrifying am I?” Chad said, giving a mock hurt expression, making Sapphire snicker from behind them and Twilight roll her eyes again.
“It’s not you, but the ponies of Ponyville are a bit... Easily startled,” Twilight said as she levitated a saddle bag onto her back and loaded it with her usual supplies of a few books on Equestria and things that reside in it, and parchment and quills for notes, just in case. “Just stick close to me and I will help whoever does see you calm down quickly.”
“Alright, try not to be big and scary. Sounds simple enough,” Chad said clapping his hands together and giving her a coy smile. Twilight just shook her head and giggled before letting Spike climb onto her back before walking out of the library and looking from side to side. “Okay, Chad and Sapphire, come on!”
The small group walked through the streets of Ponyville, keeping quiet for the most part, aside from the occasional question asked by Chad, and watching for any ponies that might see Chad. Thankfully, they didn’t attract any unwanted attention as they arrived at Rarity’s boutique. Chad examined the building while Twilight knocked onto the door.
“Coming~!” Rarity’s voice rang out in a singsong tone before the door swung open and the marshmallow unicorn was standing there with a smile on her face. “Oh hello Twilight! And Chad, I am so glad you came!”
“Hey Rarity, we are here like you asked,” Twilight said smiling before Rarity saw Sapphire standing next to Chad, looking at the building curiously.
“Um, who is the blue dragon?” Rarity asked Twilight in a hushed tone, making Twilight giggle.
“Don’t worry Rarity. It’s just Sapphire, although I would go hide your gem chest because I don’t know if she has self control like Spike when it comes to jewels.” Twilight said as Rarity nodded.
“Alright, come in everyone! I’d like to get started as soon as we can!” Rarity said enthusiastically as she walked into her home. Chad bent down to enter the building along with Twilight and Sapphire before standing up and looking around the interior of the building. It was very... Elegant could describe what Chad thought of the place. It certainly gave off the ‘proper’ look.
“Now, Chad, if you would, can you follow me so we may get started with the measurements?” Rarity asked as she took out a notepad and pencil along with a long measuring tape. Chad took in a hesitant sigh before, somewhat reluctantly, following the eager white unicorn.
They walked into a separate room, Rarity making sure no one else followed due to it being a very delicate process and not to be disturbed. As they got everything ready Rarity asked a rather odd question. “Chad, would you be a dear and take off your clothing?”
“Wh-what?” Chad almost squeaked out, his voice going up in surprise.
“Well, I can’t make you comfortable clothing if I can’t get accurate measurements, can I?” Rarity asked with a giggle lining her words. Chad let out a nervous sigh and began taking off the few pieces of clothing he had left. His shoes, socks, and pants all laid in a neat little pile off to the side and he was left in his plain navy blue boxers.
“I thought I said all of your clothing darling,” Rarity huffed as she looked at Chad with an annoyed tone lining her features.
“W-well, I would, but humans don’t exactly have any other way to keep ourselves-” He paused for a sheepish cough. “-decent...”
Rarity raised an eyebrow before her eyes widened and a cherry red blush was painted onto her cheeks. “Y-you mean...”
“Yup, just kinda hangs there...” Chad said looking everywhere but at the unicorn. Both the unicorn and the human shared a very bright blush before Rarity cleared her throat.
“Well, I suppose you should leave those on and we simply make do,” Rarity said as Chad quickly nodded. Even though he was thankful he wasn’t naked as Rarity measured him, he couldn’t help but see her staring at him on occasion. After she was done, she let out a small annoyed click of her tongue before grinning and beginning to sketch onto her pad. “You are done darling, now before I get to work, is there anything specific you would like to be made?”
Chad just blinked before nodding and giving a small smile. “Well... If you wouldn’t mind, could you make me a hoodie? I lost my old one.”
Rarity nodded before furrowing her brow. “Darling, would you care to tell me what a ‘hoodie’ is?” Rarity asked. Chad hummed for a moment as he stepped off of the pedestal and began to put his clothing back on. He searched for a moment before he realized he threw his old shirt into the trash back at Twilight’s home and sighed.
“It’s like... Really it’s just a normal coat only with a hood instead of a collar. I’ll draw one for you if you’d like,” Chad said as Rarity nodded and levitated a parchment to him along with a pencil. After a minute or two, he had a base idea of what a hoodie looked like. “Um, sorry if I am not the best artist.”
Rarity took the drawing and nodded. “Thank you, Chad. I will do my best to make you what you asked for,” she said with a warm grin.
“Heh, thank you for doing this for me. Seriously, it means a lot,” Chad said in an appreciative tone. Rarity just giggled and let him walk out of the room as she began to get her ideas down. He walked out and found Twilight talking to Sapphire about ponies’ lives and dragons’ lives and how they were similar and different.
“So when you find a mate that you want to be with, you stay with him?” Sapphire asked as Twilight nodded with small hum. “That doesn’t seem very effective. What if other females wish to mate with him?”
“Then they discuss it a little bit and if they are both up for the idea, they make a herd!” Twilight said happily.
“Interesting...” Sapphire said as she lifted a claw to tap her chin before she saw Chad and smiled. “Hello, Chad! May I ask you a question?”
“I don’t see why not,” Chad said shrugging as he walked over and sat down with his legs crossed.
“Does your kind form herds when two or more females want a certain male?” she asked innocently which made Chad blush slightly before chuckling.
“Naw, humans don’t have herds,” Chad said making air quotes with his fingers. “But we do have polygamy in some areas of our world, although most places it’s illegal.”
“What, why?” Twilight asked tilting her head.
“Well to be honest, there has never been a need for it. Plus it’s frowned upon if you sleep with another person while you are dating someone,” Chad said shrugging again. “Personally, I could care less how people lived their lives because if they are happy, why should I care?”
Twilight gave him a smile and an approving nod as they sat and talked about their worlds, cultures, and other things revolving around their lives. They shared tons of laughs and a few embarrassing comments, mostly Chad poking fun at Twilight while Sapphire was sitting there confused, before they all heard something rather peculiar.
“Does anyone else hear someone cranking something?” Chad asked before there was a loud thunk and he felt something large and heavy collide with his body, sending him forward onto the carpet. Sadly, he wouldn’t be able to see what hit him as his head had smashed into the floor, leaving a small dent in the carpeting that would take more than a little magic to fix, and his vision began to fade into unconsciousness.
As his mind began to fade out, he could only hear the panicked and angry voice of Twilight as she shouted at someone and Sapphire growling angrily. The only words he was picking up was “Sandbag,” and “How!?”
Author's Note
And thanks to DarkPhoenix (https://www.fimfiction.net/user/DarkPhoenix) for editing this chapter of my story. Seriously, check him out. He is awesome. Anyway, due to some issues going on, I may or may not get backed up on making Chapters. But I will try my best to get out a new chapter when I can! Anywho, thanks for reading everyone, you are all amazing!

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           Chapter 5: So that was the cranking?            
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Chapter 5: So that was the cranking?
Smokey Arrival  
Chapter 5:   
So that was the cranking?  
Written by: Slayerbrony
Chad blinked and groaned as he sat up. He didn’t feel any pain where he was hit, which made his eyes snap open. What he saw made him freak out slightly. It was just a large white landscape. It was as if someone had taken him and put him in the middle of a sheet of printer paper. It was all just... blank. He blinked as he looked around the plane of non existence.
“... What the heck is this?” he thought out loud. There was the sound of someone walking as he turned his head to see someone coming towards him. The person stopped in front of him, only it wasn’t exactly a person. It looked more like a naked mannequin from a clothing store. “... What the heck are you!?”
“Well... I am your conscience,” it said plainly. Chad made a strange face as he looked over the embodiment before raising a unconvinced eyebrow. “You’re not very creative.”
“Ooooooooh,” Chad said leaning his head back as he nodded in agreement. “So! If you are my conscience, can you tell me where I am?”
“Easy. You’re unconscious, so this is a dream of sorts,” his conscience said as it gestured around the room. “And like I said before: you aren’t very creative.”
“I see that... Could we at least get some chairs and music in here?” Chad asked annoyed. Just as he said that, a large, plush chair and the song ‘In the Ghetto’ by Elvis Presley came on. Nodding in approval, Chad took a seat in the chair and sighed in relief. “For a bland dream, this ain’t so bad.”
“Quite,” his conscience simply replied before it faded out into the same marshmallow white background that surrounded Chad.
“At least I can relax for a bit now...” Chad muttered as he leaned back in the chair.
~=~=~=~=~=~=~  
(Twenty Minutes Prior)
“Scootaloo, do you really expect us to believe ya when you say you saw an alien?” Applebloom asked with an unamused tone.
“Or the fact that you made us get up at five in the morning?” Sweetiebelle asked with a small yawn. “We were up till midnight last night trying to see if bat watching was our cutie marks...”
“Girls, I am telling you! I saw an alien walking with Twilight, Rarity, and all the others!” Scootaloo said as she hopped towards the Golden Oaks Library with her friends in tow. “It even had a dragon with it!”
“Oh now you are just making stuff up.” Applebloom stated as she stopped in her tracks.
“Yeah! There is no way an alien would be friends with a dragon.” Sweetiebelle said tiredly as she stopped next to Applebloom.
“If the alien mind controlled it, it would!” Scootaloo retorted turning in place so that her friends could see her ridiculously serious face. Sweetiebelle let out a gasp while Applebloom deadpanned.
“Mind control? Really?” Applebloom said unconvinced. “How do you even know it even has anything like that?”
“How do we know it doesn’t!” Scootaloo shot back, her eyes wide and serious as she stared back at Applebloom. The creamy yellow colored filly began to speak before sighing.
“Fine you have one there, but we still need to see this alien to know if it’s even real,” Applebloom said, still pessimistic. Scootaloo just rolled her eyes as she continued to the library with her friends in tow. As they arrived at the library, the door swung open, making them scramble for a moment and leap into the bushes next to the library’s door.
They all quietly gasped as they saw a large, tan, hairless creature walk out into the sun on it’s back legs with a blue dragon in tow. Twilight and Spike walked and gestured for them to follow as they began to walk through the streets.
“I told you there was an alien!” Scootaloo quietly cheered as her two friends’ jaws dropped.
“Ah don’t believe it...” Applebloom muttered as she saw the bipedal alien walk away.
“It looked like it was making Twilight do something...” Sweetiebelle said as she rubbed her eyes, fully awake at the realization that someone she knew could possibly be in danger.
“Maybe it mind controlled her like it mind controlled the dragon!” Scootaloo gasped out making Applebloom and Sweetiebelle gape in horror.
“We have to go get Applejack!” Applebloom said as she jumped out of the bushes.
“Or Rarity!” Sweetie piped in before jumping out with Applebloom.
“No no, that will take too long...” Scootaloo said as she also jumped out of the bush to her friends.
“Then what do you suggest we do?” Applebloom asked as Scootaloo hummed for a moment before grinning evilly.
“I have just the idea...” The orange pegasus said as she rubbed her hooves together.
~=~=~=~=~=~=~
“Are you sure this will work?” Applebloom asked as the trio pushed the small catapult they used to try and get their cutie marks into Rarity’s home.
“Of course it will! We just put a net in, fire it, capture the alien and save Twilight and Spike!” Scootaloo said as they stopped right in the middle of the hallway. With a few small puffs and pants from the group, Scootaloo looked to the living room of Rarity’s home and found the alien sitting in front of Twilight and Sapphire. Spike nowhere to be seen.
“Where’s Spike?” Sweetiebelle asked as she looked around the room.
“The alien must have ate him!” Scootaloo said abhorrently as she glared at the alien. Applebloom and Sweetiebelle tear up.
“Oh, poor Spike...” Sweetiebelle said mournfully.
“Come on, let’s get this alien before he eats Twilight!” Scootaloo said in a hurrying manner. She and Applebloom began to crank the catapult as Sweetiebelle loaded it. As they finished, Scootaloo looked inside the catapult and tilted her head in wonder. “Sweetie, where is the net?”
“Oh, I lost it, so I thought this would work just as well,” Sweetie said smiling. Scootaloo scratched her head for a moment before shrugging.
“Good enough for me” Scootaloo said as Applebloom grabbed hold of the firing lever. “Fire!”
There was a loud clunk and a whooshing sound as the sandbag was flung and smashed into the alien, sending it forward and skidding a few feet, smashing its head into the floor. The trio cheered as the alien didn’t get up.
“We did it! We got the alien!” They cheered until they saw Twilight’s angry expression glaring at them.
“Um, girls? I don’t think they were being mind controlled now,” Scootaloo said as she was soon brought in front of a angry Twilight. The blue dragon that was with them was now standing next to the alien and growling protectively at them. All three gulped as they had the sudden feeling of dread.
~=~=~=~=~=~=~
Chad was relaxing in the chair, listening to the music he vividly remembered. He let out a small yelp as his conscience appeared in front of him without warning. “Jesus christ!” he shouted as he flipped back in his chair.
“Sorry,” it said as he walked over and helped him up. “And before you start yelling at me, you have to wake up now.”
“Aw man... really? I was enjoying this...” Chad whined as he stood up.
“I know, I am part of your mind, remember? I will see you next time you get knocked out,” it said as Chad looked at it strangely again. He didn’t have a chance to ask anything as he found his vision fading out into black. His sight slowly came back to blurry colors and shapes. In the background of the colors and shapes was a happy and worried voice.
“He is waking up!” The voice belonged to a certain blue dragon that was hovering over him.
“Oh thank Celestia, Chad are you okay?” Twilight asked as her blurred face came into view. He blinked a few times, his vision clearing. Groaning, he brought a hand up to his face. He hissed as he felt a small bruise and several cuts on his forehead.
“Ow...” he muttered as he sat up slowly. “I think I have a concussion...”
“Well at least your head isn’t cracked open,” Sapphire said as both Chad and Twilight stared at her. “What? That’s good isn’t it?”
“Yes... Yes it is,” Chad said nodding slowly before he turned to Twilight. “Do you know what decided to imprint my face into the floor?”
“I do. And they are right here,” Twilight said in a rather livid tone. She stepped aside to show three fillies, all with scared and guilty expressions. “Apparently, they thought you brainwashed me and Sapphire then ate Spike.”
“Okay, how does that relate to me getting knocked out by something heavy?” Chad asked as he rubbed the side of his head to clear the headache that was invading his mind.
“They thought they could save us by somehow getting a catapult into Rarity’s home and launching a sandbag into your back,” she said with a very prominent tone of disappointment and slight anger.
“Ah. You can’t fault them too much for it... I am kind of an alien. But I have to say, I’m a little pissed,” he said as he looked at the three fillies who were still terrified of him. “But I am not going to eat you, or brainwash you, or do any other bad thing you have cooked up in your minds at this moment.”
That caused all three of them to let out massive sighs of relief and slumped in place. As they did so, Chad stretched his arms to the sky and then put them down to push himself up. He wavered in place slightly as he stood up, Sapphire pressing against his side to give him a little support.
“Twilight, I am going to assume I can’t be seen right?” Chad asked as he reached up to touch his ear for a moment, feeling the cigarette he placed there still in place. Twilight only nodded at his question as she saw him take the cigarette from his ear and place it between his lips. “Okay then. I’ll be behind the building, I need some fresh air.”
Before Twilight could protest, Chad strode past her, stepping over the three fillies, and walked over to the door and opened it up. The door let out a small click as it closed and Sapphire, Twilight, and all the fillies simply stared where he left. That was when Rarity finally decided to make her appearance with Spike in tow, staring dreamily at her.
“Chad darling~!” she said in a singsong tone as she happily levitated a simple white t-shirt out of the room. “I have your- Oh, where did our human friend go?” Everyone in the room simply stared at Rarity with looks of disbelief. “What? Did I miss something?”
~=~=~=~=~=~=~
Chad gently closed the door and looked to his left and then his right to make sure no one was looking. As he found the area clear of any ponies, dragons, or other sentient creatures he may find during his stay, he pulled out his box of cigarettes and extracted one of the many matches he had been given by Twilight.
Considered all that had happened to him as of late, he was in a rather good mood. Or he was just bottling it all up until it was going to explode worse than mentos in Diet Coke. As he thought about this, he struck the match across the trashcan that was next to his legs and put the glowing flame to the tip of his cigarette, inhaling deeply. The thought washed away from his mind as he felt the calming effect begin to take place.
This was stopped for a moment by a shrill and angered shriek from inside of the shop that sent shivers up Chad’s spine. He felt as if someone inside of that building was being horribly scolded and punished, but shrugged the feeling off. All that mattered to him at the moment was the cigarette he still needed to finish and enjoy. Blowing out a small cloud of smoke, he took another puff and let out a relaxed sigh as he breathed out smoke.
To make the moment a bit better for himself, he pulled out his phone and plugged the headphones into it. He placed the earbuds in one by one as he browsed his collection of music. Smiling, he picked a song he got before he was brought here.
https://img.youtube.com/vi/d7sjrjiOYYQ/mqdefault.jpg
He hummed along with the song, closing his eyes so he could hear the music without any distractions. He quietly began to sing along with the song, not noticing the purple pony poking her head out of the door.
Hey Lucy, I remember your name  
I left a dozen roses on your grave today  
I'm in the grass on my knees, wipe the leaves away  
I just came to talk for a while  
I got some things I need to say
He hummed along with the song as the man stopped singing and took a quick puff from his cigarette. Twilight's ears had flopped down against her head as Rarity walked out to see what was taking her friend so long. She stopped as she heard Chad continue singing.
Now that it's over  
I just wanna hold her  
I'd give up all the world to see  
That little piece of heaven looking back at me  
Now that it's over  
I just wanna hold her  
I've gotta live with the choices I made  
And I can't live with myself today.
He stopped to hum again before picking up where he left off.
Hey Lucy, I remembered your birthday  
They said it'd bring some closure to say your name  
I know I'd do it all different if I had the chance  
But all I got are these roses to give  
And they can't help me make amends.
Now that it's over  
I just wanna hold her  
I'd give up all the world to see  
That little piece of heaven looking back at me  
Now that it's over  
I just wanna hold her  
I've gotta live with the choices I made  
And I can't live with myself today.
Before Chad knew it, he had a whole audience that consisted of two dragons, three foals, and two mares.
Here we are, now you're in my arms  
I never wanted anything so bad  
Here we are, for a brand new start  
Living the life that we could've had
Me and Lucy walking hand in hand  
Me and Lucy never wanna end  
Just another moment in your eyes  
I'll see you in another life  
In heaven where we never say goodbye
Here we are, now you're in my arms  
Here we are for a brand new start  
Got to live with the choices I've made  
And I can't live with myself today
Me and Lucy walking hand in hand  
Me and Lucy never wanna end  
Got to live with the choices I've made  
And I can't live with myself today
Hey Lucy, I remember your name
As he stopped, he let out a small sigh and finished his cigarette before unplugging his headphones, which stopped the music, and put them back into his pocket with his phone. He extinguished his stub of a cigarette and let out a breath of relief before looking over to the door and letting out a small yelp.
“Cheese ‘n’ Rice!” He shouted as he put a hand over his heart. “Don’t just sneak up on me like th-”
He would have continued if it were not for the group of teary eyed, lip quivering, pitiful ponies in front of him. Sapphire on the other hand looked like she was going through a hardcore depression at the moment as she was laying on the ground, curled up with her claws over her eyes and her tail wrapped around her body. Spike had simply resorted to going back inside and curling up under a bunch of scraps of fabric.
“Why is everyone so sad?” he asked, suddenly feeling like a jerk for nearly snapping at the ponies. There wasn’t even a second before he was dogpiled by a bunch of ponies, Sapphire simply stayed where she was was, not truly wanting to even get up at the moment. The next ten minutes of Chad’s time in Equestria was filled with tears, questions, explanations, and more crying.
After all the floodgates closed up, the small group walked back into the boutique, Chad actually had to carry Sapphire in because she still didn’t want to move. A few minutes after they got in, a cry of happiness was heard throughout Ponyville as Chad found his casual wear made and ready to be worn.
~=~=~=~=~=~=~
Chad was currently enjoying the feeling of a new shirt and pants as he was talking with the Crusaders. They still were cautious of some things he did, but they mostly accepted him.
“So what kind of things did you do for fun back at your home?” Scootaloo asked as her little wings fluttered with curiosity. Chad scratched his chin in thought. He didn’t think the ponies here had things like Xbox’s or PS3’s, so he settled for something a bit easier.
“I played this sport called ‘Soccer,’ or as the Europeans call it, ‘Football,’” Chad said smiling at his memories. All three of the fillies looked at each other with confusion before looking back up at Chad.
“What’s Soccer?” Sweetiebelle asked. Chad smiled a bit wider at the adorable little filly before he began to explain the sport to the three fillies. After a few minutes, Scootaloo raised a hoof, signalling she had a question for the resident human.
“Yes?” Chad asked as he looked at Scootaloo.
“Not to be mean, but what is so fun about kicking a ball around?” Scootaloo inquired, setting her hoof down. Chad looked off and scratched his chin for a moment before letting out a small sigh.
“Well it’s a bit hard to explain... It’s like if...” Chad furrowed his brow as he thought for a moment. “It’s like if you were to see a new flavor of ice cream and it looked really bland and boring, but you tried it and it was really great.”
All three fillies just blinked at his analogy. He let out a small groan and ran a hand through his hair. “It would be so much easier if I actually had a soccer ball to show you guys how it works...”
That was when a certain pink pony popped up behind his back with a large grin. Needless to say, it scared the life out of Chad. After a yelp, some thrashing about, and much laughter from the fillies, it ended up with Chad laying on his back, holding his head in pain, while Pinkie giggled on his stomach.
“How—” Chad began before Twilight walked over and levitated the pink pony off of Chad.
“Don’t ask questions about Pinkie, or else you’ll end up with a migraine,” Twilight said giving him a small, knowing smile. He just shook his head dismissively before he picked himself off of the floor and looked back down at the ponies. Instead of seeing Pinkie sitting there with her usual smile, she was sitting there with her usual smile and a ball that strangely resembled a soccer ball from home. She quickly put it in his hands and sat there with a even bigger grin.
“Where did y-” Chad began before he looked at Twilight then back to Pinkie. “Nevermind. Thank you, Pinkie.”
“Oh no problem! If you didn’t have a soccer ball, then you wouldn’t be able to create a wonderful scene that would make ponies d’aw!” Pinkie said in one breath as Chad simply blinked and rubbed his temples for a second.
“Right... Anyway... Twilight, I will be outside with the fillies. I don’t think inside is a good place to do this activity,” Chad said as he put the ball in the crook of his elbow and walked over to the door that led outside.
“Okay. Just be careful. And don’t wander off!” Twilight cautioned as the four stepped outside. Pinkie just sat in the middle of the floor looking up at the ceiling. “Pinkie what are you doing?”
“I am watching them write and edit! Shhh!” Pinkie said in a hushed voice as she watched the ceiling.
~=~=~=~=~=~=~
“So what, like this?” Scootaloo asked as she got onto her hind legs and kicked the ball into a torn up sheet of fabric that Rarity had given them to use as a net for the goal. Chad applauded as Applebloom and Sweetiebelle clopped their hooves together and gave the pegasus some praise. Scootaloo puffed out her chest and let a triumphant smirk grace her lips.
“That was great Scootaloo. But...” Chad said as he walked over and retrieved the ball before tossing it back into the grass. “You gotta get good before you can do things like...” He walked up to the ball and swiftly scooped it ball into the crook of his ankle and tossed it into the air before bouncing it on his elbows.
“This!” The little fillies watched in awe as the human showed off his skills. He went from bouncing the ball on his elbow to bouncing it onto his head and balancing it for a few seconds. After a few minutes he stopped and caught the ball. He set it back onto the grass before walking over to the makeshift net and crouching slightly in front of it. “Now next part. The goalie. He is to keep you from making your shot.”
“Then how are we supposed to make a goal?” Applebloom asked tilting her head. Chad just gave a small smile and shrugged.
“If I told you, then I would know how to block it. It’s better to learn through experience than an instructor or textbook,” Chad said before giving them a small ‘Come get some’ gesture. “Now, which one of you thinks you can make a shot?”
~=~=~=~=~=~=~
“Twilight, darling. I have to ask, is it a good thing to leave him out there alone with the foals?” Rarity asked as she walked out with a set of formal dress pants. Twilight looked up from her notes to see the marshmallow unicorn gently folding up the pants.
“I am sure there is no need to be scared, Rarity.” Twilight said before she got up and walked to the window. “I mean look at them.”
Rarity walked over to the window and smiled gently. The foals were all ganging up and taking turns shooting the ball, trying to get it into the net. That was until they simply all rushed him, making his eyes go wide in response, while Scootaloo nudged the ball forward with her head. He tried to jump out of the way, but ended up being dogpiled by the group of fillies. Both of the mares could hear the laughter from behind the glass.
“See? He may be different, but he isn’t like a diamond dog or a dragon,” Twilight said before turning to Sapphire, who had stopped sulking and was simply relaxing on the carpet. “No offense.”
“None taken. Dragons aren’t the friendliest bunch,” Sapphire said shrugging her shoulders.
“I guess you are right. He is just a big foal isn’t he?” Rarity said giggling. They turned and watched as Chad made a few jerky movements before flopping his head to the side and lolling his tongue out. They grew worried for a second before he popped up and scared the fillies. Grabbing Applebloom and tickling her belly sending her into a fit of laughter.
“I can’t see why the Princess was so worried about somepony like this,” Twilight said shaking her head. Spike walked out of Rarity’s crafting room with several pins stuck in his back. “I still think that looks painful.”
“It’s not. Scales are very handy when they need to be,” Spike said smiling. Rarity just gave one last worried look at the foals and smiled as she saw the group laughing and playing around. Then walked back to her creation room with Spike in tow.
“Well tell Chad not to get too worked up, I am almost done with his suit for meeting the Princesses,” Rarity said as she stopped at the door and let Spike walk in first. “In fact, you should gather the others so we may leave as soon as possible.”
“Alright, I think I will. But who is going to watch Chad and the foals?” Twilight asked before Sapphire stood up straight. She was about to speak up before Pinkie snapped herself out of her self induced trance of ceiling watching.
“Oh oh! Can I watch them!? CanIcanIcanIcanIcanIcanI!?” She asked repeatedly before Twilight shoved a hoof in her mouth, giving her a stressed out yes. The pink one let out a loud squee before rushing outside. Sapphire gave a small pout before laying back down.
With that covered, Twilight set out to go find the rest of her friends and bring them over. Little did she know, things were only beginning to get strange for her and her friends.

//-------------------------------------------------------//
                  Chapter 6: Prep and Go!                  
//-------------------------------------------------------//
Chapter 6: Prep and Go!
Smokey Arrival  
Chapter 6:   
Prep and Go!  
Written by: Slayerbrony
Twilight arrived at the Boutique with all of her friends while they threw ideas around on how they were going to get Chad to the train station without anypony seeing him. As they walked in, they saw a rather interesting sight. Chad was sitting in a chair, getting his hair groomed by Rarity. His face was a neutral mask, aside from the occasional wince in pain as Rarity pulled on a knot of hair. She had to stand on a step stool due to their height differences
“Sorry, darling, but you can’t be meeting the princesses looking this...” Rarity paused as she tried to think of the right word. “Messy.” Chad just grunted in response as she pulled on a another knot. Rainbow Dash attempted to suppress her laughter.
“I can’t believe we were afraid of this guy!” Rainbow whispered to Applejack who gave her a chuckle in return.
“Spike, would you be a dear and get me a mane tie?” Rarity asked as she was finishing up brushing the knots and tangles out of Chad’s hair. The lovestruck drake nodded quickly before running off. He soon returned with a small black band and held it out for Rarity. She gave him a quick thank you and began to braid Chad’s hair as tightly as she could without hurting him.
“Rarity? What are you doing?” Twilight asked with a small suppressed giggle. She and her friends walked into the middle of the room, spreading out slightly so they could get comfortable for the moment. “More importantly, where are Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo?”
“I had finished Chad’s suit so I thought I might as well help him look proper for meeting royalty, and the little ones are with Sapphire,” Rarity said as she finished up with Chad’s now braided hair. Twilight began to sputter slightly before Rarity held up a hoof. “I know what you are thinking and before you have a panic attack, just look over there.”
Rarity pointed to the couch she usually used for her ‘Dramatic’ moments. On the couch was all three of the crusaders, curled up and sleeping soundly, laying against Sapphire. The blue dragon was simply curled around them, giving off an almost protective vibe, and lightly snoring.
“They were tired after roughhousing with Chad and due to Sapphire being a dragon, her warm body accompanied by her rather soft scales... Well they were out like a candle in the wind,” Rarity said giving a small chuckle. The whole group eyed the dragon and foals before giving a small sigh of relief.
“Well, alright... At least they’re in the same room, so you could keep an eye on them,” Twilight said with a small disappointed tone.
“Darling, you really need to stop worrying about that dragon! I mean she may not be as nice and sweet as Spike-” As those words left her mouth, the whole group heard a loud thump. “-but she is still kind and considerate. Not every dragon is a big, awful brute you know.”
Twilight sighed before she took one more look at the fillies, seeing the content and happy smiles they held. Even Sapphire seemed to be happy with snuggling up to the little ones. Rarity let out a few clicks of her tongue as she finished up Chad’s hair before looking over him.
“Alright Darling, would you mind trying on the suit for me? I want to make sure it’s perfect before we travel to Canterlot,” Rarity said as she hopped off of the stool and let Chad stand. He gave a nod as she levitated the suit over to him and practically pushed him into the changing room.
“We are on a schedule, Rarity. We might have to get going soon, with or without his formal wear,” Twilight said as she pulled out a scroll and looked over it. “In fact, the next train is in-”
“I am not sure how you did it Miss Rarity, but this suit fits amazingly!” Chad exclaimed as all the ponies turned to look at the resident human. The sound of a pin dropping could be heard as they gawked at the man. He was wearing a simple black suit with a white undershirt and a deep red tie. Not only was the suit the perfect fit for him, but it complimented him rather well. From his muscled body to the ponytail that hung behind his head, the ponies couldn’t help but see him in a rather attractive and alluring light. “What? Do I have something on my face?”
“You look... Awesome...” Rainbow muttered out as she looked over him, admiring his form. Chad chuckled awkwardly before giving her his thanks.
“I am glad I look good. Meeting royalty and all that,” Chad said as he turned and walked back into the changing room. “I’ll change out of this so it doesn’t get wrinkled.”
Rarity only nodded dumbly as he disappeared behind the curtain. As soon as he was out of sight, all of the ponies simply looked at each other.
“Did anyone else just...?” Rarity began in a small whisper. A symphony of ‘Yes’, ‘Yup’, and ‘You betcha!’ was heard from the small group of ponies, allowing Rarity to breathe easier. “Oh thank Celestia it isn’t just me.”
“I have to say, that outfit certainly... Complimented his figure,” Twilight said blushing slightly. Chad walked out from the changing room, now dressed in his pants and t-shirt, with the suit delicately draped over his arm.
“Where would you like me to put this, Miss Rarity?” he asked with a smile. Rarity just giggled and levitated the suit over to her.
“I will place it in a bag and take it with us. And you don’t have to say ‘Miss Rarity’, darling,” Rarity said happily as she walked over to her creation room. As she entered the room, Twilight walked over and tapped Chad on his knee cap, making him look down at the purple mare.
“Chad, we are going to have to leave soon and I need to teach you a little bit about Equestria’s courtesies and proper mannerisms,” Twilight said with a small smile. “But we can save that for the train ride.”
“Speaking of train rides...” Rainbow began as she floated over to Chad and hovered next to his shoulder, putting her hoof at his head like she was measuring his height. “How are we going to sneak him onto a train? I mean, not only is he an alien, I don’t exactly think he is going to fit into the train cars easily.”
Twilight was about to say something when she realized her prismatic friend was correct. Chad was quite tall, she was practically dwarfed by his size. “That... Is a problem,” Twilight said.
“Well I am pretty quick on my feet... And I have no problem sitting down on the floor if that is what it comes down too,” Chad said shrugging. Twilight nodded at this and slowly began to come up with a plan.
“Oh! Chad, darling! I almost forgot to give you your new jacket!” Rarity said as she walked out of her room and floated a hooded jacket over to Chad’s hands. He smiled widely and immediately slipped the hoodie over his head and pulled it down. He smiled a tiny bit wider as he felt the soft fabric cling loosely to him, just how he liked his hoodies.
“This is amazing, Rarity!” he stated as he looked over the coat on his body. Even Rainbow Dash was checking out the new piece of fashion.
“That is a pretty cool coat...” Rainbow mumbled to herself as she looked over the hooded jacket. Rarity just smiled with pride, not to mention blushed a little bit from the praise, and trotted back to the creation room to pack up his suit. Twilight simply looked over him before her eyes lit up like someone flipping a light switch.
“Wait, we may be able to use this to our advantage,” Twilight said as she used her magic to tug at his collar, signalling for him to bend down. As he did so, Twilight pulled the hood over his head and let a dark shadow cover his face like the area in his hood was suddenly pitch black before letting him stand back up. “Yes, this may actually work!”
“What may work, Twi?” Applejack asked as she watched Twilight tuck Chad’s hands into the coat’s pockets.
“If his face is covered, and his hands are hidden, then we can sneak him on as a greatly height endowed diamond dog!” Twilight said happily.
“What if they ask to see his face?” Rainbow asked looking down at her purple alicorn friend. Twilight visibly deflated at this. She would have said a disguise spell like she did with Spike when she gave him a suit and mustache, but she didn’t know what the effect of magic would have on his body. Sure he was brought here by magic, but transportation and disguises are two different things.
“Could say I was in a accident?” Chad piped in as he pulled the hood down, revealing his face again. Twilight’s ears perked up and she smiled widely.
“That may work!” Twilight said cheerfully. “But we may need to add on to this plan a bit more if we want it to work properly.”
After a few minutes of tossing ideas around, they finally had a plan to get Chad on board to Canterlot. Before they could have left though, Applejack piped up with a serious question. “What about Sapphire? We can’t jus’ leave her ‘ere with no one watchin’ her.”
“That is a good point....” Twilight said as she furrowed her brow. After a good five minutes, she let out a frustrated groan before Spike woke up rubbing his head.
“Ugh, what did I miss?” He asked before everyone’s vision centered on him. He looked back and forth between all of the ponies and the human. “What?”
“Spike... How would you like to be part of an experiment?” Twilight asked with a coy smile. Spike gulped slightly and let out nervous chuckle.
~=~=~=~=~=~=~
After a quick message sent to Celestia saying they would be arriving in Canterlot soon, the group began to walk towards the train station. As they stepped out of the boutique, Chad quickly hid his facial features with the hood and stuffed his hands in his pockets, not to mention hunching over slightly. Due to their little escapade with the diamond dogs in the past, their experience gave Chad a decent chance of pulling this off.
They had left Spike to look after the fillies and Twilight used a little magic to change Sapphire’s scales from their brilliant blue to Spike’s colors of purple over green. This way, if anyone asked, Twilight could simply say that she messed up a spell and it would wear off later.
Sapphire wasn’t exactly pleased by this, but happy to at least be close to Chad and not have to wait in the town for him to return. if the princesses let him return. She didn’t know why she was so attached to Chad after merely two days. Maybe it was his friendly nature that she normally didn’t receive. Maybe it was because he was so accepting of her. Whatever the reason, she was happy to at least call him her one true friend.
Chad got several strange looks from plenty of ponies, were it not for the five ponies and the new Alicorn princess surrounding him, they may have run away in fright. Before they knew it, they were at the train station where Twilight walked up to the ticket booth to purchase the train tickets.
“Hey, I have been meaning to ask...” Chad began in a hushed voice. “Is there anything I should know before I meet the princesses?”
The group just exchanged glances, not worried ones. They looked more like those you would make when you are expecting someone else to speak. Rarity cleared her throat and looked up at Chad.
“Well, I would simply say be yourself, and respectful,” she said with a small smile. All of the others agreed as Twilight walked over with eight tickets.
“Alright, so I explained the situation to the train conductor, so he will let us all on, but we are going to have to go to the last train car. It’s the only one with enough room for all of us,” Twilight said as she passed out the tickets and led the group to the train. As they walked into the train, Chad had to hunch over even more so that he could walk properly. Once they got to the final car, they saw two sets of seats which looked more like lounge couches bolted down than actual train car seats.
Without a moment to lose, Chad walked over and plopped himself down into a seat and stretched his legs out with a sigh of relief. The ponies just rolled their eyes and giggled as they too took seats on the couch. Sapphire prefered to crawl up onto the couch and lay her upper body across Chad’s lap, giving a content sigh as she laid her head down.
That was when all of the ponies, aside from Rainbow Dash, gave a collective ‘D’aaaaaw’ at the two, making Chad blush so much he almost glowed under the shade of his hood. He let out a grumble before he subconsciously began to pet down Sapphire’s neck, making her pur happily. Soon the group felt the tug of the train and the final call from the conductor before they began to move. It didn’t take too long for Chad to begin to doze off. With the rhythmic ‘Click-clack’ of the train on the rails accompanied by the warmth of Sapphire’s internal fire, it was almost impossible for him to stay awake.
~=~=~=~=~=~=~
Twilight stared at the duo with a curious smile on her lips. She still was wary of the dragon that followed Chad everywhere, but in some strange way, it reminded her of Spike. How the two of them were inseparable when she was a foal. She found their strangely strong bond somewhat adorable in it’s own way. Slightly inconvenient at times, but adorable nonetheless.
“I wonder why they are so close,” Twilight quietly thought out loud.
“Don’t you remember silly?” Pinkie piped up as she was bouncing in her seat next to Twilight. The purple mare looked inquisitively at her pink friend who’s sanity was debatable. “She said that dragon friendships don’t last longer than a few days and she wanted this one to last. Maybe she is just trying to keep the only friend she has as long as she can!”
Twilight was about to speak up, but once again, she was rendered speechless by Pinkie Pie. The spastic pink earth pony was right. Twilight looked at the duo and then put on a smile that was somewhat sorrowful, but at the same time, understanding. She would still watch Sapphire with a close eye, but now she was less intimidated by the blue dragon.
She mulled over these thoughts as the sight of Canterlot Castle became apparent.
~=~=~=~=~=~=~
A loud whistle brought Chad from his slumber, and made him let out a equally loud yawn. He shook his head roughly in an attempt to wake himself faster. He stretched out his arms and scratched his chin before watching the ponies all get up, Rarity making sure to grab the somewhat large briefcase that held his suit.
“We there already?” he asked through another yawn, making all of the ponies giggle slightly. He just gave a chuckle himself before attempting to get up, only to find a dragon was still holding him down and snoring happily. He shook his head and lifted her head, and her arms, before he moved out from under her, inadvertently waking her. She lazily looked up and let out a loud yawn, unintentionally baring her teeth, and stretching out like a cat. “Good sleep?”
She just nodded sleepily as he stood up. The small group of ponies, dragon, and human got off of the train, only to be greeted by a small group of three ponies. To Chad, they each looked like a C.I.A. spook from a movie, by that he meant they had that conformity look going on. From what Chad could tell, there was one pony from each race. A unicorn, an earth pony, and a pegasus. Aside from the different races, they all looked exactly the same. They each had a solid white coat, solid white mane, a solid white suit, and a small little sun emblem pin clipped to their collars. The only color that was on their body other than the sun pin, was a nifty set of sunglasses that rested on their snouts.
The earth pony walked over to Twilight before glancing at Chad, making him shudder at the empty gaze the pony held. The pony’s gaze didn’t falter as he practically scanned Chad with his eyes, as if just waiting for him to simply breathe wrong so he could whip his ass. As his gaze left Chad and went to Twilight, taking a second to look at her before he took a small breath.
“I take it that’s the guest?” he asked emotionlessly, nodding his head at Chad. Receiving a nod from Twilight, he turned and walked back to the small group of ponies. “Alright then. Follow us, and don’t even think about straying away from this group.”
As the crew began to follow the strange, and increasingly unnerving, ponies to the Castle, Rainbow floated over to Twilight and began to whisper as quietly as she could.
“Hey, who are those ponies? Why didn’t Celestia just send some guards?” she asked, eyeing the group of three ponies in front of them. Twilight mimicked Rainbow’s actions, making sure the guards weren’t listening.
“They are Celestia’s elite. They act as Celestia’s personal bodyguards, as well as being her eyes and ears when needed. They are trained more extensively than any other branch of the guard, and I don’t just mean with spears and swords. Not only that, but they are quieter than a mouse in the Everfree,” Twilight said as Rainbow’s eyes widened as she soaked in Twilight’s words. “In short words, they are the best of the best.”
“Twilight, how can those ponies be sneaky at all? They are brighter than a marshmallow!” Applejack asked quietly.
“I don’t know, Celestia didn’t tell me much about them. All I know is that you don’t want to mess with them,” Twilight said in a serious manner, making sure Chad and Sapphire heard them. They only nodded as they walked through the streets.
~=~=~=~=~=~=~
Their walk was relatively short, seeing how they were already at the castle walking around inside, oddly enough letting Sapphire walk with them. Chad had been given the O.K. to pull his hood down, thankfully not making any poor maid pass out from shock. The three Solar Elites, as they called themselves, informed Chad of how to act and what to NOT say in their presence. Awkwardly enough they were kind enough to go through what would happen to him if he said anything remotely sexual towards the princesses, said punishments ranging from castration to flogging. ‘What are they virgins or something?’ he thought with a unspoken chuckle. ‘Heh heh... Medieval times, why are you so strange?’
“Do you have any questions?” the earth pony asked, his voice slightly deeper than his compatriots. Chad thought for a moment before nodding. “What is it?”
“May I change into more formal wear?” Chad asked in the most refined voice he could muster, which in his opinion wasn’t half bad. ‘Mimicry was one of my favorite hobbies.’ he thought with a smile. The guard looked him over for a moment before walking to a door and kicking it open.
“You have exactly ten minutes before I drag you out. The sisters are not to be kept waiting,” he said gruffly. He only nodded as Rarity floated Chad’s suit over to him, giving his thanks to her as he took it. He changed quickly as he could, with a couple minutes to spare. Chad quickly gave himself a look over in his suit, smiling again at how comfortable the suit was before one thing decided to make itself known.
‘Oh dear god this is one of those moments where literally whatever I say could possibly make my life harder, easier, or just simply die right there...’ His expression dropped to a nervous frown as he began to keep himself from wetting his trousers. ‘Okay okay, calm down. It’s not like you are going to get a boner in front of them. There is no way a pony can do that to you...’
After a roughly two minute, and insanely quick, pep talk to himself, he walked out of the restroom brushing the suit off and straightening out his tie. He always did have a nervous habit of making himself as clean as possible when he was meeting someone, important or no. As they walked down the halls to the throne room, Twilight walked up to Chad and began to whisper.
“Hey, are you okay?” she asked with genuine concern in her voice. He gave her a nod before speaking.
“Absolutely not,” Twilight just let out a sigh before tugging on his sleeve, making him bend down to her level.
“Just calm down, think of something calming, and take deep breaths,” she said before giving him a warm smile. He gave her a chuckle and smiled back at her. Sapphire walked up beside Chad and gave him a quick muzzle to his hand, making him look at her strangely before he gave her a quick pat on the head and a nervous smile.
“We are here. Try anything and I will personally feed you to the griffons in little cubes,” the Unicorn elite said to Chad, making him shiver slightly. ‘Not helping, bro!’ he thought with a panicked breath. he gave a quick nod to the guards before he walked up to the doors. “I’m sorry. No one but the Princesses are allowed inside. Princess Sparkle, you are allowed. Everypony else stays and no, there are no exceptions.”
Chad gulped quietly as Twilight walked up next to him, summoning up her regala onto her body. She gave him one last reassuring look before she pushed the doors open.
~=~=~=~=~=~=~
As the two disappeared inside of the throne room, the small group of ponies were all thinking the same thing. Rainbow Dash unsurely looked at Applejack, who in turn looked at Fluttershy nervously making her look to Rarity. This continued until all eyes were on Pinkie who.....
....was staring at the ceiling. Pinkie, stop. Kinda ruining the mood here.
“But I like watching you two woooooork!” The pink mare whined. Pinkie be sad about Chad or I will make you be sad. “You can’t control me!” I warned you....
The sound of a voice being cleared was heard through the halls, although no one actually heard it. Pinkie, if this doesn’t go well, you won’t be able to ever throw a party for your new human friend.
And like that the whole group watched as Pinkie’s mane deflated and she slumped to the floor. Her lips quivered slightly as she stared at the doors in front of her. Rainbow Dash floated over and landed next to her before putting a hoof around her shoulders.
“You okay Pinks?” she asked before Pinkie grabbed Rainbow Dash and began to sob into her fur. Rainbow could only hug the saddened pony as she let Pinkie drench her coat. The others walked over to their party loving friend, giving her words of hope and patting her back. Pinkie stopped only for a moment to glare at the ceiling.
“ARE YOU HAPPY NOW!?” she shouted before going back to sobbing, making all of the ponies look to the ceiling in confusion.
The only one who had yet to react was Sapphire. The dragon sat up straight like a meerkat on watch, and staring at the doors intently. The ponies could only look at their scaly companion with looks of curiosity.
“I wonder what she is thinking....” Applejack whispered to Rarity as Sapphire ignored everything that wasn’t the doors or what was behind the doors. Her expression was completely stoic, although on the inside she had a mixed of feeling of concern, nervousness, and slight fear.
‘Oh please let him be okay....’ was her only thought as she finally closed her eyes and hung her head, letting a tear slip from her eye and down her painted cheek.
Author's Note
Alright everyone! New chapter! Yeeeeah! For all of you who are waiting for the awkward scenes of affection, and Chad not realizing what is going on, they are going to be coming on quite soon!  
And as always, please thank DarkPhoenix (https://www.fimfiction.net/user/DarkPhoenix) for being a great editor and helpful proof reader!  
Hope you enjoyed it, if you did awesome, hope you are ready for more, if not.... Well still look forward to future chapters of embarrassing moments, d'aws, and just general funny comedy.

//-------------------------------------------------------//
                 Chapter 7: Royalty talks                  
//-------------------------------------------------------//
Chapter 7: Royalty talks
Smokey Arrival  
Chapter 7:   
Royalty talks  
Written by: Slayerbrony
As Chad and Twilight walked through the doors, he couldn’t help be have a small feeling of dread. He knew that if he was respectful and kind, he wouldn’t be seen as a threat. The problem was trying to keep himself from blurting out something that might not help, or possibly make him seem like a threat. He went through what he would say, how he would act, and if at all possible, keep himself from blurting out something stupid. As they came into the sight of the Princesses, Chad couldn’t help but blink in awe and slight astonishment.
Celestia and Luna, if Twilight’s twenty minute rundown stuck with him, stood side by side before him, giving him gentle and kind, but commanding and protective looks. To Chad, it looked like they were polar opposites. Celestia’s white coat shone like the sun and irradiated with warmth while her mane of cobalt, purple, pink, and mint green flow like water. It oddly reminded him of standing next to a creek on a summer day.
Luna’s look gave him a cool and welcoming feeling. Her deep blue coat combined with the galaxy in her mane, it gave him the feeling of standing in the night air after a practice game. The combined beauty and calming appearance of the two allowed his mind to ease up slightly, although his breath still came in deep shaky breaths and his mind was going at a million thoughts a minute.
Twilight walked over to the Princesses, giving them each a pleasant smile, and stood by Celestia’s side. It was slightly strange seeing their height differences so bluntly. Reminded him of those russian dolls. The amusing thought helped bring a small smile, albeit a nervous one, to his lips.
“Princess Celestia and Princess Luna,” Twilight began. “I would like to introduce you to Chad the Human. He was part of the source of the magic anomaly that we all experiences two days ago.”
Both of the Princesses looked over Chad for a few minutes, making him shift uncomfortably as he watched their gazes. The way they were looking at him made him feel like he was the frog in science class that always got displayed. It certainly didn’t help his mind ease up at all. The princesses let up and both gave him gentle smiles.
“I see he is much like you have told us about Twilight.” Princess Luna stated as she glanced at Twilight. “He is a very anxious one.” She finished her statement with an amused giggle. That positive response gave Chad a moment for mental peace as his thoughts stopped flopping around like a dying fish.
“Chad.” Celestia began, getting his attention to snap to her. “I assume you know why you are here?”
“I have a firm idea, yeah.” He said, giving a hesitant smile. Celestia nodded approvingly before she began to speak.
“Then you won’t mind if we ask you a few questions.” Chad simply shook his head, his mind starting to pick back up the negative thoughts of screwing up somewhere. “Wonderful. Let’s begin.”
~=~=~=~=~=~=~
They had talked from everything that could be thought of at the moment. From how he arrived, to his kind, to his eating habits, and finally his affinity for clothing.
“So you arrived.... Through dragon vomit?” Luna asked once more to try and make sure she was understanding his rather odd, and rather amusing if not disgusting, entry. Chad only nodded once more as Luna put a hoof to her mouth. She a little conflicted as to whether laugh or evacuate her stomach. She settled for giggling behind her hoof as Celestia simply did something very few ponies saw, if any. She simply facehoofed.
“That is... A rather interesting way to arrive into our world.” Celestia said shaking her head before giving Chad a sympathetic look. He simply waved his hand dismissively in the air before giving a chuckle of his own.
“It was really startling and really, really disgusting, I am not going to lie. But it was better than falling from hundreds of feet in the air to the ground below. At least the way I came through didn’t involve me getting physically hurt.” He said giving another small chuckle. ‘Although I am pretty sure I am mentally scarred from that...’
“I have one final question to ask before we finish with our little meeting.” Celestia began. Chad gave a pleasant smile, feeling much less nervous than he was before. “How has your stay been so far?”
Chad looked back into his memories since arriving here. He had been almost mauled by a pack of rapid roots that had a pack mentality. He had arrived in a most unpleasant way. Had the crap scared out of him more times than one. Finally, those elites that brought him here were complete douchebags to him. The only good memories he had so far was getting a new shirt and playing with the young ponies.
“... Not all that pleasant to be perfectly honest...” He said slightly melancholy. The princesses looked at him quizzically for a moment before he continued. “When I first arrived, I thought I was just being messed with and quickly found myself into a completely new land. Next thing I know, I am being attacked by wolves that apparently are completely made of wood and then saved by the dragon that vomited me up!”
He began to fidget in place as his little rant began. “I passed out after that and then I am waking up to an unfamiliar environment and quickly finding out that I am a alien on some unknown planet! I broke down of course, I mean who wouldn’t?” He soon began to pace as the princesses only listened to his words and watched his spastic movements. “Then, I am taken into a town and I have to sneak around like some sort of spy. I mean yeah, getting to actually bathe and finally sleeping somewhere warm was nice, but then I had the stress of meeting the rulers of the land on my shoulders. I mean don’t get me wrong, you two are awesome and look amazing! But that is some heavy shit, y'know!?”
Luna, Celestia, and Twilight all shared confused looks at the weird expression from the human before he continued. Chad didn’t know it, but as he spoke, his voice was becoming more angered and frustrated. “And maybe I’m overreacting! Maybe, I’m not! But I do know one thing! Those guards of yours, whom you call elites are total dicks!” Chad stated, scowling at the door behind as if he was hoping to set the guards behind it on fire. “I mean they threatened to chop of my dick if I so much as looked at you!? What the hell!”
“Oh dear...” Celestia mumbled, face hoofing. “I knew I should have checked the On-Duty list more cautiously.”
“And!... And!.... I need a cigarette!” Chad said as he stuffed his hand into his pocket and pulled out a small carton before looking at the Princesses, albeit he calmed his mind a little bit. “Is there a openable window I can stand by?”
Luna gave the human a confused nod before pointing to one of the stained glass windows before her horn lit up a small latch opened up a small window. As Chad felt the gentle breeze, he walked over and quickly opened the box and pulled out a cigarette and match. Luna watched him Curiously while Celestia rubbed her temples. Twilight let Chad calm his nerves while she nudged Celestia.
“What’s the matter?” She asked in a hushed tone. Celestia just groaned quietly before looking at her former student.
“I had forgotten about a few of my senior officers and how they tended to be rather overprotective. And I use the word loosely.” Celestia stated. “If I am not mistaken, it was Officer Buttercup.”
As the name left Celestia’s lips, Twilight couldn’t help but mash a hoof into her mouth to prevent the amount of mirth that the name brought her. Celestia picked up on his and gave an almost unnoticeable giggle. While those two discussed Buttercup’s issue and possible punishment for the harsh and unfair treatment he had administered, Luna had taken it upon herself to question Chad a bit more, albeit less important questions and simply more along the lines of chatting.
“What is that you are sucking on?” Luna asked suddenly, making Chad cough a bit as he inhaled a bit too sharply. He turned his head to see Luna giving him a look that much resembled a curious puppy, albeit a puppy couldn’t be this adorable even if they tried. After a small fit of coughing and pounding on his chest with a fist, he gave her a weak smile and showed her the lit cigarette.
“Well... Let me ask you this, do ponies have tabacco here?” He asked curiously. Luna only nodded before saying.
“We do, but most ponies use a pipe. Not a stick of paper.” Luna stated. Chad just chuckled and shook his head.
“Well that is pretty much all this is. It’s just called a cigarette and it’s pretty much what you said. A stick of tobacco rolled up in paper.” Chad said, giving her a small smile. “Think of it like a disposable pipe. And all you have to do is light it instead of packing the tobacco in and then lighting. Plus you can carry around a bunch of them at a time in a convenient little box.”
“Interesting idea. Does you race make many of these strange conveniences?” Luna asked only making Chad grin like a cheshire cat.
Back to Celestia and Twilight, they had finally agreed that Buttercup wasn’t going to be removed from his position, but he was going to be given a long class on standard and acceptable treatment of royal and foreign guests, along with having to foalsit a certain royal pony. Hint, his name beings with a ‘B’ and ends with a ‘lueblood’. With that in mind, they turned to find Chad and Luna chatting quite a bit. Celestia tilted her head a bit in wonder before the two walked over, Chad crushing a cigarette butt out and tossing it into a nearby trash bin.
“Have a nice talk?” Celestia inquired, raising an eyebrow and smiling at both of them. Luna only giggled and nodded while Chad simply mimicked the action, only not giggling. “May I ask as to what you two were talking about?”
“Simply what his world held. I must say, it sounds fascinating!” Luna stated giving Celestia a happy smile. “They have carriages that pull themselves and thousands of books placed inside magical glass!” Chad just chuckled at the childish way Luna described his world’s technology.
“Well then, we must go into detail later.” Celestia said, giving Chad a happy look. He only nodded and let out a relaxed sigh. He was feeling much less tense than before now. He had not only helped calm himself with the cigarette, but the nice simple chat with Princess Luna gave him a much better perspective on her. Celestia walked over to Chad and held out her hoof. “Mister Chad Holden, after this extensive meeting and questioning, you have brought much to light. I would like to thank you for your patience.”
Chad let out a deep and relieved sigh before gently, but quickly, grabbing her hoof and giving her a hearty shake. “Well thank you for not tossing me into a dungeon or something!” He joked getting a small chuckle from Celestia and Luna.
“You are quite welcome. But we would like to ask you to stay here in Canterlot for a few more days.” Celestia said she rested her hoof back against the ground. Chad raised a eyebrow before she began to explain. “It is just a simple safety procedure. It’s to make sure no pathogens from your world can affect my little ponies and vice versa for you. Also if you are ever injured in the future, we can simply give your anatomy information to a doctor to help treat you.”
After she finished, Chad let out a small breath he didn’t know he was holding. He let out a small nervous chuckle before hesitantly nodding. “Seems fine to me, although it is a bit unnerving...” He said.
“Do not worry, Mister Chad.” Luna stated giving him a reassuring smile. “They are not going to dissect you or anything like that. They are merely going to run a few magic scans to get your bone structure, anatomy, and maybe a blood test.”
Again Chad let out one more pent up breath. He didn’t like needles. Or doctors for that matter. Ever since he was a kid, Hospitals freaked him out and due to horror movies, now he had a minor fear of doctors, Not to mention his phobia to needles. He only nodded as he felt his previous nervous feelings slowly returning.
“Are you okay, Chad?” Twilight asked, nudging him his knee with her hoof and snapping him out of his stupor. He looked down at her and gave her a nervous laugh and smile, making Twilight just sigh. “You have a phobia to physicians don’t you?”
“Fear of Doctor’s, yes, quite a bit...” Chad said nodding, slightly shuddering at the thought of doctors. “And Needles.”
“Ooooh boy...” Twilight whispered out under her breath and raised a hoof to rub her temples.
Author's Note
Sorry for the short chapter, but there was literally nothing else I could have added at the moment.   
But it does open up the next chapter! You can probably guess what is going to happen next.  
Hopefully, I will not take fucking WEEKS to finish the next chapter.  
P.S.:This is the unedited version, I will get this to my Editor later.

//-------------------------------------------------------//
              Chapter 8: Breakfast before...               
//-------------------------------------------------------//
Chapter 8: Breakfast before...
Smokey Arrival  
Chapter 8:   
Breakfast before...  
Written by: Slayerbrony
Sapphire sat next to the small group of ponies, switching between glaring at the guards and staring at the door. It had been a few hours since they had gone inside. Now Sapphire considered herself a patient dragon, but she couldn’t help but fidget and let out small subtle whines as she waited. Finally, Rainbow Dash said what everyone was thinking.
“Ugh, what is taking them so long!” she groaned out as she scowled at the doors.
“Now now, Rainbow. We must be patient, this is a delicate matter after all.” Rarity said as she let out a annoyed sigh. “Although, this is taking a considerable amount of time.”
“Well he is being interviewed by the princesses.” Fluttershy piped in. Pinked hummed in thought before she opened her mouth.
“Pinkie, before you speak, make sure it has nothing to do with Mayonnaise and a tap dancing Timberwolf, because you already said that one.” Rainbow Dash moaned out, putting a hoof over her eyes. Pinkie Pie stopped her words in her mouth before settling back down. Soon the doors opened and out walked Twilight and Chad. Sapphire’s expression perked up immediately, the tip of her tail wagging happily, and the others smiled widely as well.
“Finally!” Rainbow Dash stated before hovering over to the two. “How’d it go in there?”
Before Chad or Twilight could answer, Celestia and Luna walked out, taking a spot next to Twilight. “It went very well. Chad was very helpful, polite, and enlightened us on many things.” Celestia stated.
“He withheld nothing, and was completely cooperative.” Luna added in with a smile. “As we see it, we have no reason to assume he is a danger to Equestria or it’s citizens.”
Everyone gave a happy cheer, Sapphire tackling Chad to the ground as she ran up to him and wrapped her scaly legs around his waist. He gave a light chuckle and hugged her back as best he could.
“Woohoo! Now I can actually throw Chad a PA-” Before Pinkie could finished Twilight interrupted her.
“Actually, Pinkie, he is going to need to stay here for a couple days.” She stated, making the pony deflate and sit on her haunches with a annoyed pout. “I’m sorry, Pinkie. But we need to just get a few tests done and make sure that none of his world’s pathogens can affect us, and none of ours can affect him. And if they can, we will give him the necessary vaccinations.”
“Uh, Twilight? In Equestrian please?” Rainbow asked, scratching her head in confusion. Twilight sighed and face hoofed for a moment before speaking up.
“We just need to scan him with a few spells, possibly give him a few shots.”
“Ah, gotcha!” Rainbow said smiling. At the mention of shots, Chad subconsciously shuddered. Sapphire looked down at him, confusion apparent on her face. She let it slide as she heard the Princesses start to talk up again.
“You are all welcome to stay for the duration of the testing.” Celestia told the group as she turned around to walk back inside of the throne room. “I will send a guard to escort you all to your rooms in a hour or two. In the meantime, feel free to roam around the castle.” Celestia stopped and turned towards the group of Bleach white ponies before leaning her head down and whispering something to one of them, the pony immediately withered and nodded as he walked into the throne room.
Luna let out a small yawn and began to trot down the halls. “I bid you all goodnight. I must rest up before the sun sets. Farewell, Elements, Chad, and Sapphire.” She stated, giving a wave of her hoof as she trotted off to her chambers. Chad got back onto his feet, stretching out his legs and arms as he did so. A small silenced reigned before Chad spoke up.
“Well, I believe that went well.” He said with a large smile. The group just nodded in agreement before turning to Chad, who was glancing around the castle. “Say, Twilight? Do you know this place pretty well?” The lavender alicorn nodded as she walked up next to him and gave him a curious smile. “Would you mind giving me a tour? This place looks like it has an interesting past.”
“Really!?” Twilight asked, her eyes lighting up. Rainbow groaned, putting her face in her hooves, while the rest of the group giggled at Twilights sudden excitement. Chad just gave a chuckle and nodded at her, making her let out a small squeal of delight. She spun in place and began to walk down the hall. “Come along then! We shall start from the beginning!”
~=~=~=~=~=~=~
“And these banners were woven from the finest of silks by the Zebra nations, showing their respect for the Princesses and their oath to help Equestrian citizens if they were called upon!” Twilight informed, gesturing to a set of banners, depicting both Luna’s and Celestia’s Cutie Marks, as well as a set of tribal symbols from the Zebras’ most distinguished leaders. Despite Twilight’s habit of going far into detail, Chad was enjoying hearing about the story behind the castle. History was always a interesting subject, it was just a bonus this type of history had dragons, chimeras, and other mythical beasts.
Unfortunately, the rest of the group was not sharing Chad’s inquisitive nature and slowly drifting in and out of their own daydreams, robotically following when the group moved. It had been around three hours of walking and talking as they traveled around the castle, seeing everything about the castle that they could. They were reaching a extensive hallway with several paintings, suits of armor, and other assorted items, given to the princesses over the years.
As Twilight was about to begin her next lesson, a Solar guard trotted over to them, bowing as he got in front of Twilight. He rose up, clearing his throat as he did, and pulled out a small scroll. “Princess Celestia has arranged the rooms that you all will be staying in, if you all wish to stay that is, and this is a map for the...” The guard stopped and thought for a moment before looking to his right and seeing Chad, raising the scroll up for him to grab. “... For Mister Holden.”
Chad grabbed the scroll and undid it, seeing the various rooms and halls that littered the castle. Several rooms had a small red ‘X’ in them and names next to them, signifying who would be staying where. “Well this certainly helps. Thank you.” Chad said to the guard, smiling at him.
The guard gave Chad a firm nod and a small grin. “Don’t thank me, it was the Princess’ idea. Now if you will all follow me, I will direct you all to your rooms.” Nodding at the guard, the group followed after him. Do to Twilight having her own place in the castle, she bid the group goodnight before heading off and leaving the guard to take the group to their rooms. As the guard showed them to their rooms, each pony, aside from one particular pink pony, sleepily opened their doors and slinked inside. Even Sapphire was given her own room, which she went into out of Curiosity.
When Chad arrived at his room, the guard walked off, saying goodnight. Feeling the weight of the day lifted off of his shoulders, Chad began to stumble towards his bed, flopping down onto the soft and plush mattress, feeling his body sink into it. As his mind began to drift off into sleep, he heard the door creak open before a familiar warm presence settled next to his side. He opened a tired eye and found Sapphire, once more, leaning against his stomach, letting out a soft and gentle snore of comfort as she faded off into dreamland.
He gave a tired chuckle and sleepily wrapped arm around her midsection pulling her closer and giving a content sigh. As he drifted off into sleep, a certain Lunar mare snuck into his dream and banished away the monsters made from foodstuffs and other disturbing nightmares, finally giving Chad a wonderful sleep and dreams of a lively and cheerful beach.
~=~=~=~=~=~=~
A loud thumping rose Chad from his blissful slumber, raising his head up and blinking to clear his blurry vision. The thumping continued as he pulled up a hand and rubbed the sleep away from his eye. He cleared his throat before sleepily shouting. “It’s open!”
The door cracked open to reveal a alabaster unicorn, holding a suitcase. “Chad, darling? I just wanted to drop off your casual wear. No doubt you want a change of clot-” Rarity’s voice stopped before a small giggle was heard. “Is this a bad time?”
Chad’s eyes opened quickly as he heard that and his head snapped over to the door. “I don’t think so... Why?” Rarity giggled a bit more as she gestured to the top of him. His eyes turned to look at what she was pointing at before they widened to the size of softballs. Sapphire was laying on top of him in a not so child friendly manner.
Her head was placed right below his chin, her entire body laying across his and her rump laying right on his nether regions. His face lit up like a candle, burning brightly as he snapped his head back to Rarity. Spastically raising a hand, he shouted. “This isn’t what it looks like!!”
Rarity just let out a small fit of laughter before setting down the briefcase. “Oh no, I believe you entirely, darling! Just don’t forget to clean up!” She chided playfully, closing the door as she left. Chad let out a small groan, facepalming and dragging his hand down his features.
“I had such a nice dream too...” he muttered, looking back at Sapphire, giving her a small scowl. Idly raising a hand, he began to pet down her neck, making her emit a soft purring. The enchantment Twilight had placed on her had long since passed, letting her normal vibrant blue scales shine. “You know, if you weren’t so damn terrifying and adorable, I’d say you did this on purpose.”
Moving the dragon off of his body, Chad leaned up and stretched out his arms and legs. As he let his arms fall back against his sides, he shivered everso slightly. ‘Damn it... She was so warm... Shoulda kept her like that...’ Chad thought to himself before a stoic expression graced his face. He gave a firm slap against his cheek, hissing as it both woke him up and got rid of the foul thoughts in his head. ‘No, no bad thoughts... Don’t want another pony to walk in and see...’
He stopped himself right there and got up, going straight to the bathroom door. Stepping inside, he gave a low whistle at the interior. A grand bathroom was bestowed upon his eyes as he looked about the lavatory. It was not only outfitted to make most suites look like a gas station stall, but it was all in his size as well! Giving a sigh of relief, he stepped out and grabbed the suitcase that Rarity left him and went to use the facilities.
A quick shower, a shave, thankfully the room having a razor, and a new set of clothes, Chad was a ready to face the day. And the impending embarrassment delivered by a certain gossiping marshmallow. Once again, there was a knock at the door, snapping Chad from his thoughts. He pulled his hair back, putting it into a ponytail, and opened the door. He was glad to see it was Applejack, one of the more mellow ponies, with a smile on her face.
“Hello there, Chad! I see you are up and at'em!” She stated. Chad just a chuckle and nodded. “Ah just came to get you for breakfast. Wouldn’t want you missing out on some royal style breakfast!”
At that moment, Chad’s stomach rumbled quite loudly from not getting fed last night. They both glanced down at his belly before he gave a chuckle. “I think I will take you up on that offer. Just give me a second to get Sapphire up.”
Applejack nodded as Chad closed the door. If he had waited to close it only a second, he would have caught her surprised look and double take. Walking to the bed, he leaned over and gave Sapphire a small shake. She only groaned and swatted at him with her tail, making Chad frown in annoyance.
“Come on, wake up you big, blue, lizard.” Chad muttered as he shook her more. Sapphire only whined and pushed him away with her claws.
“Mmmo’way... Hib’rnating. Don’ disturrrrrb...” She moaned out as she swatted at Chad some more. Chad pursed his lips in irritation before they formed into a wicked grin. He tiptoed over to a desk and grabbed a quill from the table. Walking back over and twirled the tool of laugher in his fingers before brushing it against Sapphire’s underbelly.
The effects were almost immediate. Every muscle in her body clenched up as the tip of the feather brushed against her soft belly scales. A small yelp erupted from her lips as she snapped awake. The first thing her eyes caught was Chad’s wicked grin and the quill in his hands. “... No. No! Don’t do that!”
~=~=~=~=~=~=~
Applejack was blushing on the outside of the door as her ears picked up things that she could safely assume were meant for private moments. From moans to laughter, she heard quite a few unmentionable things.
“N-No! Stop! Y-You know I am s-sensitive there!” Sapphire’s voice rang out while Chad’s laughter followed it. The blush on Applejack’s face was turning to the same shade of the apples she harvested. “Eek! S-Stop that!”
After a few minutes, Chad opened the door, a large smile plastered on his face. As he stepped out, a wobbly and scowling Sapphire walked out, leaning against Chad for support as she did so. Applejack watched as the dragon scowled up at Chad before she cleared her throat and gave an uneasy chuckle. “So, you two, uh... Ready?”
“As I will ever be!” Chad stated as he stuck his hands into his pants’ pockets. Sapphire only nodded, panting slightly.
“Well, lets be going then.” She said, attempting to hide the fading blush on her cheeks. As they walked down the halls, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy joined up with them.
“Are you okay, Applejack? You looked a little flushed.” Fluttershy spoke up in her usual quiet demeanor. Applejack nodded quickly, her eyes snapping towards Chad before going back ahead. “You sure?”
Looking back at Chad and Sapphire, Applejack leaned over to Fluttershy and whispered. “Ah’ll tell ya later...” The shy pony could only give Applejack a confused look before nodding.
“Ugh, can we go a bit faster? I am getting hungrier by the second!” Rainbow Dash moaned out, hopping into the air and hovering above the group. Applejack shook her head as they began to jog towards the dining hall. As soon as they entered, they were greeted by several friendly faces. With a collection of friendly smiles, the ponies, dragon, and human all took their own seats at the table, Sapphire and Chad sitting on the same side as Applejack and Rainbow Dash. Chad shifted in the chair, his knees hitting the underside of the table and giving a thump.
The ponies and dragon looked at him with raised eyebrows, making him blush somewhat, and he gave an awkward chuckle. “Heh heh... Chairs too small.” The ponies each gave a small chuckle. Celestia entered the room, the guards giving a bow and the ponies each bowing their heads in respect. Chad gave a bow of his head and a smile while Sapphire bowed her head before sleepily dozing off against Chad’s shoulder.
The solar goddess quickly trotted to the end of the table, eager to start her day. “Good morning, everyone! I assume you all had a wonderful night’s rest?” She asked, several servants walking in with trays of food. The group all gave nods of agreement, aside from one snoozing drake. As food was placed in front of the group, Chad nudged the dragon awake, making her quietly snort before sleepily noticing the food in front of her.
Thankfully for the two, Celestia took into account their diets. For Chad was just a standard breakfast he would have at home, eggs, toast, even a few strips of bacon and a cup of coffee. For Sapphire, several gems were given to her as well as a couple chicken legs. Devouring their meals with a gusto, breakfast went on.
Finally, Celestia decided to break the silence. “Chad, are you ready for today?” She asked, giving him a warm smile. Chad blinked and swallowed his food, wiping his mouth on a napkin.
“I suppose so. Can I ask how things are going to work today?” He inquired, taking a sip from his cup. Celestia hummed for a moment, nibbling on her own piece of toast. Swallowing her food, Celestia began to speak.
“Well. I would assume they would start of with a simple examination spell, to get your bone structure and basic anatomy. If they are lucky, your anatomy will be similar to one of our worlds residence and then we can continue on from there.” Celestia hummed in thought for a moment before perking up. “Oh, and probably one or two shots. Nothing too major.”
As Celestia said that, Chad stopped chewing on the piece of toast he was eating and turned a tad green. It cleared up as he finished his food and began sipping on his coffee to help ease his stomach. Rainbow Dash looked at him before nudging him with her elbow. “Hey, what’s with you? Don’t like tests or something?” She asked, taking a large bite out of her breakfast as she finished. Chad shook his head.
“No, no. It’s just needles.” He said, shuddering slightly at the word. “I hate needles.”
The room was quiet for a moment before Twilight clopped her hooves together and gave a big, but awkward, grin. “Okay! Changing subjects, Chad why don’t you tell us of some of your friends?” She asked, hoping to soften the days impending activities. Chad gave a smile at the subject and set his coffee down as he thought for a moment.
“Well, I could tell you about my friend, Eric. He was insane.” Chad said giving a chuckle, earning smiles from all of the ponies. “I met him in middle school, we both were on a soccer team. We were paired together to practice passing the ball and making shots to the goalie. We started talking, we didn’t have much in common actually, polar opposites you could say. He was energetic and extreme-” He made air quotes with his fingers as he spoke, “-and I was mellow and cautious.”
“After practice we started to hang out and we became quick friends, oddly enough. We mostly balanced each other out. When he was about to do something stupid, I’d stop him and when I was being a stick in the mud he’d lighten me up.” Chad chuckled at his memories his smile getting a bit wider. “He was a awesome guy, we did everything together. Hell, we even rented an apartment together! But you know we had our own separate dream jobs and aspirations, we had to go after them. We are... Well were keeping in touch. But now that I am here...”
He adopted a somber expression, but still smiled at the memories. He may have had his previous life taken away, but he still had wonderful memories, along with a few bad ones, of the place he once called home. He felt a few tears welling up in his eyes, which he wiped away. “I just hope he isn’t taking the news too harshly.”
Everyone in the room gave him a sad smile. He took in a deep breath before letting it out in a content sigh. He was depressed he was never going to see his own world again, but at the same time he was happy to be alive. It’s not everyday you get to have a firebreathing dragon sleep on you or meet a goddess. In his mind, he was taking it in like it was an adventure story, with a hopefully good ending.
He clapped his hands together, making several of the ponies jump, and looked to Celestia. “Alright! When do we get started?”
She gave him a warm smile before looking at a clock that hung above the Dining hall entrance. Tapping her chin with a hoof, she thought about the schedule. “Well, the doctors need a few minutes to prepare and sterilize the examination room... I’d say if we get walking, we should be there just in time.” Celestia stated with a smile. Chad gave a quick nod before standing up and stretching.
“Well, I am ready when you are.” He said, giving a small smirk. Celestia stood up, cleaning her lips with a napkin before walking towards the door. As Chad began to follow, Sapphire hopped off of her seat and followed after the two leaving the ponies to finish their breakfast. As soon as they left, the group looked at each other, each shrugging.
“What do we do now?” Rainbow asked, looking at the other girls. Rarity looked at the group before giving a devious smile and clearing her throat getting their attention.
“I think I got a subject that may take up a large amount of time.” She stated slyly. On the way to the doctors, Chad subconsciously shuddered for two reasons. One: he was going to have to be near needles. Two: he had the oddest feeling he was going to be getting some really strange looks later that day.
Author's Note
Hurray! New Chapter! AND IT DIDN'T TAKE MONTHS TO FINISH! YEAH!  
Anyway, this is really just a lead up to what the next chapter is going to hold. >:3  
As always, PM me any errors in the story, I will go and fix them.   
NOW! ONTO THE NEXT CHAPTER!

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               Chapter 9: Tests and Results                
//-------------------------------------------------------//
Chapter 9: Tests and Results
Smokey Arrival  
Chapter 9:   
Tests and Results  
Written by: Slayerbrony
Breakfast had gotten Chad’s mind going, thinking of several things he had put into the recesses of his mind. The biggest of those thoughts being ‘Will I be able to get home?’. His facial expression became stoic and his brow furrowed, the thought bringing in a whole train of other thoughts. Most of them being negative. He finally cleared his mind and let out a small, quiet sigh. He turned to Celestia, whom was still wearing her happy smile as they walked down the halls. His eyes moved from her to Sapphire, the blue drake trotting by his side and glancing around the castle. He finally gave into his thoughts and turned to Celestia, taking a deep breath as he did so.
“Princess Celestia?” He asked, gaining her attention. “I have to ask, and I probably should have asked this when we were talking in the throne room...” He trailed off slightly before continuing. “Is there any chance of finding me a way back home?”
As the words left his lips, Celestia stopped in her tracks making Chad and Sapphire stop as well. The solar goddess had dropped her smile and settled for a somber expression. She had hoped this question wouldn’t have come up for a while. She let out a small sigh, sitting on her haunches and looking to Chad. She opened her mouth to speak before closing it, she had to make sure to say this correctly.
“I... I am not completely sure we would be able to send you back, Mister Holden.” Celestia began, Chad’s expression almost immediately falling, Sapphire putting a sympathetic claw on his shoulder. “The amount of magic it took to bring you here, and not kill you in the process, was almost mind boggling. And we don’t even know where you are from. You could be from an entirely new planet or even a completely different plane of existence.” As she finished, Chad nodded and let out a small saddened sigh. Celestia put a hoof on his shoulder and gave him a sincere and sympathetic look. “But...” She began, making Chad perk up. “I don’t want to give you false hope, but if there is a chance that you could be sent home, I will do everything in my power to help you. Stranger things have happened here.”
Those words made a smile appear on Chad’s lips and a sliver of hope to rekindle his faith in seeing his world again, even if it was an immensely long shot. He took in a shaky breath to calm his mind before giving Celestia a thankful smile. “Thank you, that really means alot to me.” He said.
She gave him a nod and stood back up, patting his shoulder with a hoof before she began to walk. “Now, let’s get the tests out of the way.” She said, giving him a kind smile. Giving a small chuckle, he nodded and followed after her.
As they continued down the hallway, Chad couldn’t help but feel as if he was being watched. He knew the normal royal guards were standing in the halls and patrolling, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that there were a hidden pair of eyes simply waiting for him to mess up or do something idiotic. Stopping he took a quick look behind himself, only to see a empty hall. He gave a small annoyed grunt before turning to follow Celestia again.
He would have started walking if there wasn’t a pair of yellow and red eyes staring directly into his own. He felt his pupils shrink and his eyes widen before he heard a sinister voice say. “Hello, there!”
He let out a loud yelp and stumbled backwards, falling onto his rump as he did so. The same voice let out a loud roar of laughter as Celestia and Sapphire turned around to see what was going on. They saw a certain Draconequus slithering down from the ceiling and onto his hoofed and clawed legs, chuckling to himself at the sight of Chad. The poor human was clutching his chest where his heart was attempting to flee its captivity, panting heavily as he did so.
“Oh my, that was truly a spectacle! Beautiful performance! Ten out of ten!” The creature laughed out, clapping his paw and eagle claw together. Celestia let out a annoyed sigh before clearing her throat.
“Discord!” She shouted, making the draconequus flinch slightly. His head swiveled around to greet Celestia, giving a coy smile as he did so.
“Yeeees?” He only received a pokerfaced Celestia in return while Sapphire trotted over to help Chad off the ground.
“May I ask why you are trying to give our guest a heart attack?” She asked, raising an eyebrow. Discord spun his body around until it faced Celestia and put a hand on his chin.
“Well, I heard there was a strange creature in the castle, not resident to Equestria or the planet it resides in, and I thought ‘Why not see this creature from another world?’” He replied, giving a shrug of his shoulders. “I even listened in on your little ‘Private’ meeting. And I must say, the way he entered this little corner of our world really made me laugh!”
“He was partially traumatized by that, Discord.” Celestia informed making Discord frown and cross his arms, huffing indignantly.
“Oh anre’t you just a stick in the mud.” As Chad got to his feet and calmed his breathing, he walked over to Celestia and looked up at Discord, somewhat scowling at him. “And see? He is completely fine!”
Celestia just shook her head before looking at Chad. “Chad, this is Discord. Discord, this is Chad.” Chad blinked at Celestia before glancing up at Discord again. The draconequus leaned down and held out his paw, giving a somewhat toothy smile as he did so.
“It is nice to finally meet the being from out of town.” Discord said. Chad hesitantly took his paw.
“Pleasure is all mine...” Chad muttered, still wary of Discord. Sapphire only gave Discord a protective snort as she sat down next to Chad. The chaotic creature only rolled his eyes and floated into the air, as if reclining on a invisible hammock.
“If I may ask, what are you plans for today?” He asked, floating along while the group began to move once more. Celestia gave a hesitant sigh, knowing that Discord would simply pester her until she told him or get Luna to tell him. And with her asleep, that would just lead to parts of the castle being torn off.
“We are going to conduct some tests on Chad’s body to see if our world can harm him or the pathogens from his would can harm us.” Celestia informed, glancing at the doors as she walked. Discord groaned out dramatically, letting his head hang down and a frown to once more appear on his face.
“Oh that is boring. Wouldn’t it be easier to just zap him with some spell and be done with it?” He asked, making Chad stop momentarily. He worried for a second before Celestia picked up on this.
“No, Discord. We still don’t know the effects of Magic on his system, body, or mind. One of the many tests we are going to have to go through.” She stated glaring at Discord before giving Chad a calming smile. He let out a pent up breath and caught up to the group.
“Once again... Boooorrrring.” Discord stated before settling down onto the ground and walking off in the opposite direction. “Have fun with your needles, horns, and spells. I have pranks to set and legs to pull. Toodles~!” And with a snap of his talons, he was gone in a puff of pink smoke. Letting out a somewhat pained and irritable sigh, Chad pinched the bridge of his nose.
“Ugh... Why do I have a feeling that this day is not going to be easy? Like at all?” He asked to no one in particular.
~=~=~=~=~=~=~
Finally arriving at a door with a red Cross, Celestia opened the door and gestured them inside. As Celestia and Sapphire walked in, Chad remained outside. His expression was one of mild fear and impending doom. Sapphire walked back out, looking at Chad and giving him a curious expression.
“What is wrong? We are at the doctors... Might as well get these tests out of the way, right?” She asked, nudging him with a claw. Chad only crossed his arms, nervously rubbing his sides as he stared inside the door, his expression not changing. Sapphire simply frowned and sat on her haunches. “Okay, what is with you?”
Chad wrenched his view from the inside of the infirmary, where Celestia was talking to a doctor, and looked down at sapphire. “U-Uhm... Nothing?” He said, unsure if she was going to accept that answer or not. Clearly seeing his answer on her unamused muzzle, he sighed. “Look, I just... I don’t like doctors and I hate needles. And I am pretty damn sure there are plenty of them in there. Add on that I am on an Alien world, there are possibly diseases that could kill me in there, and the fact that I have to have tests run on me... I am not entirely comfortable with going in there!”
“I see...” Sapphire said, looking back in the clinic and then back at Chad, whom was still nervously rubbing his arms and side. She lifted a claw and tapped her chin in thought. “What if you just thought of something relaxing and calming?”
Chad looked at her before glancing back at the infirmary. He gave a nod before closing his eyes and thought of something that made him relaxed. Taking in some deep breaths, he thought of anything that came to mind. The memory of his last dream floated through his thoughts, making him somewhat smile. The memory of his friends from his world made him smile a bit wider. His final thought was of his family back home, his siblings and parents, how they would all laugh and poke fun at each other. He opened his eyes, noticing a true smile on his lips, and looked to Sapphire.
“Thank you... That really helped.” He said before taking in another deep breath and taken a few shaky steps into the infirmary. Sapphire smiled at his words and followed him in, closing the door behind her with her tail.
~=~=~=~=~=~=~
Chad was sitting on a examination table you would usually see in a doctor’s office, only it was rather lower to the floor, letting his feet touch the floor. The familiarness of the situation did little to calm the anxiety that was slowly, but surely, resurfacing. Sapphire sat next to him on the table, idly humming and glancing about the room, curious as she had never seen the inside of any pony structures.
Soon the door opened and in walked a seafoam green unicorn with a white and mint green mane. Her amber eyes gave off a calming yet energetic tone while. She was wearing a nurses cap and carrying a tray with several pieces medical equipments. She raised a hoof and waved at Chad and Sapphire, making Chad give a hesitant wave back.
“Hello! I am Lyra Heartstrings and I will be your nurse today!” The peppy unicorn stated, placing the tray of utensils down and looked to Chad. “I am just going to run a small little spell that will analyze your circulatory system and then we can get a small blood sample.”
As those words left her lips, Chad tensed up and felt his pupils shrink. His thoughts went from relaxing and calm to ‘Holy god in heaven, I have to get out of here!’, in a manner of seconds. His muscles began to go into Autopilot as he felt his body begin to move towards the door. Sapphire saw this and gently wrapped her tail around his waist and held him in place. As this happened, Chad almost began to have a panic attack. Sapphire leaned her head up and said.
“Be still, Chad. I promise I will let nothing happen to you.” Chad looked at her, her eyes sincere. His mind calmed down slightly, his muscles stopped moving, and he settled for digging his fingernails into the faux leather that he was sitting on. Lyra had been sorting the utensils on the tray while Chad had been freaking out, her attention more focused and preparing the treatment than the patient.
When she turned around, she saw Chad’s expression, seeing his panicky expression. Her lips formed a sympathetic smile as she walked over and held out a hoof. “I don’t believe you have told me your name yet, Mister...?” She began. Chad shakily held out his hand and shook her hoof.
“Ch-Chad... Chad Holden...” He muttered quietly, still panicking on the inside. Lyra only smiled wider before her horn lit up. A small wave of light emitted from her horn, flowing over Chad. As it did, Chad saw small lines of golden light emit from his arms and across his hands. His mind stopped thinking of the needles and focused on the strange occurrence. “How did you do that?”
Lyra giggled and gently lifted his hand with a hoof, using the other to point at the lines. “I sent a small wave of magic that pulsed with your heart beat. When your blood pumped, the magic lit up the areas where it is the most visible on the skin, highlighting it to make tracing it easier.” She explained, Chad’s eyes filled with curiosity. That was until Lyra floated a small needle, tube, and vial. Chad’s muscles tensed up and the lights on his hands began to strobe violently. Noticing this, Lyra floated the needle away and grabbed Chad’s hand gently with a hoof.
“Hey, calm down, Mister Holden! I won’t get the sample until you are ready, alright?” As these words left her, the flashing slowed dramatically and Chad breathed a breath of relief. He gave Lyra a Sympathetic look before she began to speak. “I take it you don’t like needles?”
Chad shook his head from side to side as quick as his neck would allow. Lyra giggled and looked at the door before looking up at Chad. “Well to be honest, I don’t either. I get chills everytime I see the little things.” She said. “But, want to know a trick a teacher at my med school taught me?”
Chad looked down at her with a curious gaze as she continued. “If you don’t look at them, you can’t get scared of them, right? Out of sight, out of mind!” She stated before gesturing a hoof to Sapphire. “In fact, here is a good trick! Talk to your dragon friend!”
Chad blinked at her before turning to Sapphire, whom just shrugged and sat up properly. Lyra rolled her eyes before saying. “Miss Dragon, why don’t you tell Chad about what you are afraid of?”
Sapphire blinked before turning to Chad and lifting a claw to her chin. Chad rolled his eyes before turning to Lyra. “What could a dragon possibly be afraid of? I mean they breathe fire, got razor sharp claws! And they are ginormous! Well she isn’t right now, but-”
He was cut off by Sapphire’s voice. “Spiders.” Chad blinked before turning to Sapphire and seeing her somewhat hanging her head in mild shame. “I am afraid of spiders...”
Chad couldn’t believe his ears, what he was hearing made almost no sense. A Dragon afraid of spiders? Preposterous! “Why?” He finally asked after a few minutes of silence. Sapphire sighed and shifted slightly.
“When I was a hatchling, my mother always encouraged me to go hunting whenever I was feeling snackish... So, one day I tried it and went out on my own. My mother was very excited for me and wished me luck.” She took in a small somber breath. “When I finally found my meal, a small rabbit plump from winter, I pounced and snatched it up, devouring it with gusto!” She gained a triumphant smirk before it fell. “But... Afterwards I felt something on my tail. When I turned around it was a giant spider... Like nearly the size of a pony!”
Her eyes began to water up slightly. “Before I could get away, the damned thing bit my tail and stopped me from moving. The thing slowly began to wrap me up in a cocoon a-and...” Sapphire was on the verge of bursting, the painful memory proving to be a bit more than she could handle. Feeling sympathy for the drake, Chad wrapped his left arm around her and rubbed her shoulder in order to comfort her. She gave him a small smile before finishing her story. “Luckily, my older brother was watching over me, as my mom requested since I was still rather young, and he killed the blasted thing... When the venom finally wore off, I was traumatized. I didn’t leave the cave without my brother or mother with me... Also that damned spider is the reason for my scales being so weak...”
“I-I don’t know what to say... “ Chad said, unable to comprehend how that must have felt. Being unable to move while a creature bares down menacingly on you. Well he partially knew, but to have it happen at such a young age. Sapphire only rested her head against his shoulder, eyes shut tight. After a moment, Chad felt a small prick causing his vision to snap to Lyra.
The perky little unicorn was holding the vial of blood, putting a bandaid over Chad’s hand. He blinked before looking to the unicorn. “How did...”
“When she was in the middle of her story.” She stated before giving a sympathetic smile to Sapphire. “Sorry about what happened to you... I can’t imagine how it felt.”
Sapphire opened her eyes and smiled at the unicorn. “It is fine.. Thank you for caring though.” After putting the Vial in a safe container, she filled out a quick form and told Chad and Sapphire her goodbyes before heading off. They sat in silence for a moment before Chad turned to Sapphire and gave her a smile.
“Want me to tell you why I hate needles and Doctors?” He asked.
~=~=~=~=~=~=~
The rest of the day went by rather slowly, the tests and questions all being done and asked by different unicorns. They scanned his body from his digestive track to his reproductive organs, which Chad gave his opinion on rather harshly and using several inappropriate words. He also had to five several samples of different fluids to aid in their study of human anatomy, the semen sample being the only test that Chad thoroughly refused to give, even after they offered someone to aid him. Especially after they offered someone to aid him.
When the tests were finally over, he was allowed to leave the infirmary. As he got up and left, he saw Celestia talking to one of the doctors, which gave him a small feeling of dread. He wasn't going start pointing fingers or accusing the ponies of treachery, but when a doctor is talking to someone in private it usually didn’t end well. He shrugged off the feeling and stepped out of the Infirmary, glad to finally be able to stretch his legs and not have to worry about needles any longer.
~=~=~=~=~=~=~
Celestia watched as the doctor’s finished Chad’s tests and sent him on his way. She was about to go greet him and thank him for being patient with the doctors, but a voice stopped her in her tracks.
“Princess Celestia? May I have a word?” A deep voice asked. She turned and saw a Chocolate brown unicorn with a dark grey mane. Nodding, she turned and looked to the doctor.
“Of course, Dr.Suture, what do you need?” She asked, giving the doctor a smile. Floating a clipboard up to Celestia, he pointed with his hoof to a very large number written next to the letters ‘IMC’. She blinked before looking to the Doctor. “I am sorry, I am afraid I don’t understand.”
“The... Human, Chad, seems to be sucking mana into his body. At an alarming rate actually...” The doctor stated, turning the clipboard to look over it. Celestia blinked once more before opening her mouth to speak, only to be cut off. “I know he said his race cannot and never has been able to use magic, but regardless of what he says, I, the numbers, and tests don’t lie. But I have found out something rather interesting.” Celestia simply raised an eyebrow and waited for the Doctor to continue. He was quiet for a moment, as if lost in thought, before Celestia cleared her throat. This snapped him back to reality, making him look up at her. She simply waved a hoof, signalling for him to continue.
“Hmm?... Oh right!” He stated before going back to his clipboard. “ I found that his body is not only gathering magic, but, in a sense, using it to its advantage.” He flipped the papers on his clipboard several times before looking up to Celestia. “If my theory is correct, His body is somehow adapting and altering itself to use the magic to its benefit. It is using it to make him stronger, more durable, have less fatigue when he moves! But If I am correct in my thinking, this could have some very serious drawbacks...”
Now Celestia was beginning to worry. She knew how magic could have both positive and negative effects, but they were never too serious, unless it was a dramatic loss or gain of magic. “What drawbacks do you mean, Doctor?” She asked.
“Well... Once more, if I am correct, he could possibly become harmed if his body gathers too much magic. But since he has no outlet other than expelling fluids or moving, it could begin to force its way out of his body. And not in the way other ponies or creatures do, he cannot simply passively expel this in his sleep.” The doctor stated. “Essentially, his body is becoming one massive battery that is continuously charging. And well... Let me put it this way, what happens when you overcharge a Crystal, Princess?”
“The energy inside looks for the easiest escape point, and since crystals have none they...” Celestia stopped as her eyes widened. “... Explode...” Her eyes darted to the Doctor, pleading that he was wrong. The Doctor could only sigh and rub his temples.
“Now it is only a theory I have. I do not wish to cause any alarm to you or the human, but I firmly would consider testing him a bit more to see if I am wrong or right.” Dr.Suture said. “The lad is a good one and I would hate to see something bad happen to him.”
Celestia nodded at the doctor, her mind filled with fear for Chad and comforting thoughts that he was going to be alright. The worst part was going to be actually informing Chad of this possibility. She certainly didn’t want to lie to him, but she truly did not want to terrify him in thinking he could possibly pop at any moment. She thanked the doctor for telling her this, turning on her hooves and walking towards the exit.
She couldn’t help but continue to mull over what Dr.Suture told her. The easiest solution, yet also being the hardest, was simply sitting Chad down and telling him of what may be happening to him. As she walked out of the Infirmary, she saw Chad laughing and joking with his dragon friend, happy to be out of the infirmary. She thought about what Chad had asked her earlier and what she told him. With a somber and determined smile on her face she gave a confirming nod. as her thoughts finally settled.
‘I will tell him tonight, but for now, I will let him relax.’ She thought to herself as she watched Chad give Sapphire a gentle shove, only to have the drake begin to chase him down the halls.
Author's Note
And just so you know, no he won't be able to do magic, no he won't be able to suffer fatal injuries, NO! He is not going to become this OP mess of bleh...   
Don't worry, its just to add a little tension and life to the next chapters to come.

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             Chapter 10: Dramatic Realization              
//-------------------------------------------------------//
Chapter 10: Dramatic Realization
Smokey Arrival  
Chapter 10:   
Dramatic Realization  
Written by: Smexy Sombra
Chad had spent the better half of the day exploring the castle and learning about the story behind it. He had finally ended up in the gardens as the sun began to fall from the sky. He watched from a bench with a smile on his face, the familiar view giving him the opportunity to remember what he once had. Sapphire was laying across his legs, snoring softly as Chad gently pet her neck.
Leaning his head back, he took in a deep breath, relishing the scent of the flowers and plants around him. Everything seemed serene at that one moment. He closed his eyes and let out a small sigh of contentment. Slowly, memories began to fill his mind.
~=~=~=~=~=~=~
Chad let out a deep and hearty laugh as Eric was lying on his back, groaning with a large smile on his face. Next to him was a broken Skateboard, a testament to his failure, as Eric was simply laughing behind his teeth. Chad looked over to see the large ramp that overlooked an even larger set of stairs with a now scuffed up railing.
Eric sat up, taking off his helmet and sunglasses. He ran a slightly bloodied hand through his ratty short chocolate brown hair, his green eyes showing mirth as he looked at his now splintered board.
“In what way did you think that would work, Eric?” Chad asked as he held out a hand for his fallen friend. His friend took the help and pulled himself up and onto his feet, wavering a moment. Eric just gave a loud laugh and shrugged.
“To be honest, I was sure I was just going to over shoot it! I didn’t think I’d hit the rail and snap my board!” Eric cackled out as he looked at his battered body. Several of his knuckles were busted, his lip split open, and several bruises from hitting the stairs. “But hey! I tried and failed, all I need to know in order to never do that again.”
The two looked at each other a moment before letting out another roar of laughter. Chad threw his arms around his friend and gave him a hug from the side before beginning to walk. “Come on, you crazy bastard, let’s go get something to eat.” Eric laughed again and jogged after him, grabbing the shattered pieces of his board as he did so.
~=~=~=~=~=~=~
Chad opened his eyes with a smile on his face and few stray tears that had collected during his reminiscing. He wiped them away, happy to know that he had had some good times with Eric. The young man gave himself a few moments to relax before he attempted to get up, only to find that a three hundred pound dragon was using him as a Pillow-teddybear and keeping him from moving.
Chad let out a small sigh of irritation, shaking the dragon and prodding her to get her up. The only response he got was a small annoyed growl. He came to the conclusion that it was best to just let her snooze and avoid something painful happening. Leaning back as best he could, Chad continued to watch the sunset.
His mind drifted to other thoughts as he gazed off, mostly with what he was going to do with his life now that he was in a completely different plane of existence. The thoughts only began to build up, shifting from anger to denial to minor acceptance. He kept his heart full of hope as he thought, keeping a positive outlook on his situation, how ever bleak it may be. With a final sigh, he leaned back and let his eyes close and mind wander to other things. Specifically his friends and family back home.
~=~=~=~=~=~=~
Eric sat at his desk, the program on his computer blank and stale from his lack of work. It had been almost three months since Chad had gone missing, simply blinking out of existence like a bubble being popped. The nature of the situation was still blurry, he couldn’t believe how crazy it sounded
The man rubbed a calloused hand across his unshaven face, feeling the shadow that had made its place on his jaw from his lack of hygiene. He couldn’t believe what had happened when he got the call. Chad’s family had no idea where he was, his boss had said that he had fired him and then Chad had left, and his soccer team said they had seen him walking home.
Eric rubbed his eyes with somber motions, feeling the lack of sleep and his enormous amount of work eating away at his energy. The only thing keeping him from sleeping or working was the situation behind his best friend’s disappearance. Chad was walking home and then simply vanished. The police had told Chad’s family very little, and even less was passed on to Eric.
Security footage of him simply walking into the Alleyway and then never coming back out. Said alleyway had no other exits, not even a fire escape ladder. There were no reported strange noises or signs of struggling. Either his kidnappers were VERY good at their jobs or someone, or possibly something, was playing a role in his disappearance. Either way, after the first three weeks, Police had given up the search.
He grabbed his coffee mug and took a small sip of the brown liquid, frowning as he found it to be ice cold. He stared at his mug a moment, then swirled the beverage in place and looked at the blank computer. Eric sighed and hit the sleep button before standing up and walking towards his door. He needed a moment to clear his mind, if only a few minutes. While his buddy Chad used cigarettes to calm his nerves, Eric found Coffee to be a delightful alternative.
The man chugged what was left in his cup before grabbing his jacket and walking out the front door and into the cold outside air. Eric walked down the road, away from the apartment complex, his thoughts focusing on the details of Chad’s disappearance.
While Chad’s family grieved, Eric pressed further into the case, angry and frustrated by how little anyone knew. He only wanted to know the fate of his friend. His determined nature ensured he was going to find out, one way or another.
~=~=~=~=~=~=~
“Ahhh... Feels good to be home.” Chad said as he walked up to his old home, seeing his father sitting on the porch with his husky sitting across his lap. The grey furred dog yipped happily as it bound off of the chair and towards him. Chad laughed as he felt a slobbery tongue across his cheek. “Alright, down boy! Good to see you too!”
“What? No ‘how do ya do’ for your old dad?” His father said with a chuckle as he sat up from his chair. The gray hair man cracked a large smile as Chad walked over and hugged him. “It’s good to see you still remember us, kiddo.”
“Oh like I would forget mom’s birthday!” Chad stated as he let go of his father and looked towards the house. “Is she in or is she out shopping?”
“Naw, she is relaxing in the living room. Go on, I am sure just seeing you after all this time will be enough to make her ecstatic.” His father said as he walked back over to his chair and sat down, the husky hopping back onto his legs.
Nodding, Chad went to the door of his home. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out the gift he had gotten his mother. A small white, rectangular box with laced golden ribbon laid in his palm. It wasn’t anything huge or expensive, but it was a gift from the heart. A simple golden locket, encrusted with a singular diamond in the middle of the locket, with a picture of their family inside. As he got inside he gave a call out to his mother.
“Hey, Ma! Are you in here?” He got silence in return before a clattering filled the air. His head turned towards the kitchen, worry beginning to fill his mind. He slowly made his way to the door, gently pushing it open. Inside was a party ready to be had, cake, presents, and streamers hung all around.
Inside he found his mother sitting at the table, tears dripping down her cheeks and his entire family sitting around her. He walked over to her, starting to put a hand on her shoulder before she began to speak. “Where could he be? Who would take my baby boy!!” She nearly shouted, bringing on a new bout of sobbing.
“We don’t know Ma, but the police have been looking everywhere for him. Even Eric has been looking none stop. Don’t worry so much, we will find him.” One of his brother’s spoke out as he leaned down to hug her.
“Wh-What are you all talking about? I’m right here!” Chad spoke out uneasily. He began to chuckle nervously. “What are you guys doing? Is this a joke or something?”
He stepped forward to reach out to his mother, to console her and show he was still there, only to find a large window in his way. He tapped the glass a few times, attempting to get through or at least get his family’s attention. After a few attempts he began to pound on the window, trying to smash his way through. “Hey! I am right here! Look at me! MA!!” He began to shout, trying to get his mother’s attention as he repeatedly beat his fists against the glass.
“I just hope he is safe....” She muttered through her sobs before the sound of a door opening was heard. Inside walked a policeman, who somberly took off his hat and looked around, his expression taking a turn for the worst.
“Mrs.Holden? It’s with our deepest regrets that we have closed the case on your son. Over the past few weeks investigators have found very little to the whereabouts of your son. We are to believe he is either out of the country or... Possibly deceased. I am truly sorry.” Before Chad could even see the reactions of his family, the window vanished, leaving him in a blank black abyss.
He was left agape, his eyes widen and pupils shrunk. He couldn’t respond. He merely dropped to his knees and began to feel tears streaming down his face. Before he knew it, he was sobbing quietly into the empty void before a voice tore him from his tears.
“Chad! Wake up!” He looked up to see who was speaking before he felt his vision become hazy and the abyss slowly faded to white.
~=~=~=~=~=~=~
Chad shot up, his chest heaving with heavy breaths as he felt warm tears streaming down his cheeks. He looked up to see Sapphire sitting next to him, her claws on his shoulders as he raised a hand to wipe his eyes. As his vision cleared up a bit more, he saw the worried expression on the drake, her brow furrowed and frown pulling down the curves of her lips.
Chad was about to speak before he felt the words die in his throat, the crushing realization of what would be happening back home. The day he arrived was the same day as his mother’s birthday, and he never missed a single family birthday. That was two days ago, by now they would realize something was wrong.
The thoughts savagely tore down his positive outlook. He slumped forward, burying his face into his hands and trying his best not to sob. He felt the warmth of a leathery wing wrap around his shoulders. He looked from between his fingers to see Sapphire giving him a somber and worried expression. She didn’t have to know what he was thinking to know he was in a moment of great pain. As if given permission, Chad slowly began to cry out.
He prayed and hoped that he would find a way home, to see his family again. To play with his dog and hug his best friend. If only for a day to tell them where he has been. But in the deepest parts of his mind, he knew that it was a bit too much to hope for. He slowly quieted down after nearly an hour, the warm comfort of Sapphire’s wings and his dark thoughts slowly subsiding allowed him a moment’s respite.
Chad slowly pulled himself from her wings, wiping his eyes onto his shirt’s sleeve and sighing mournfully. He was glad he had gotten this out of his system, glad to be rid of the morale crushing thoughts for the time being and able to focus. He slowly brought his hands to his face and rubbed his eyes, clearing away any evidence of his break down.
“Thank you...” He muttered quietly as he hunched forward, resting his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands. Sapphire’s response was a gentle nuzzle, getting a small smile onto his lips.
“It is no trouble. If I may ask, what brought it on? I saw you thrashing like a fish out of water, nearly throwing me into the grass!” She stated, withdrawing and giving him a curious gaze. He rubbed his eyes again and leaned back.
“Just a bad dream and a soul draining realization. I’ll be fine though! Nothing to worry about.” He said quickly, waving a hand in the air to dismiss the subject as fast as he could. Sapphire’s gaze turned stoic as she look at him, making his brows furrow in wonder. “What’s with that look?”
“What are you not telling me?” She asked, leaning closer. Chad leaned away, slightly startled by the inquisitive drake. “It can’t be that simple.”
Chad sighed once more and scratched his chin. “Look, I will tell you more later, but... Not right now.” He told her. The drake looked at him a moment before nodding.
“Very well, I will be patient.” Chad gave a grateful smile to her and stood up, stretching out his arms and legs. He let out a small groan of relief as several joints and bones popped when he stood up.
“Well the moon is up. That should be a good sign that dinner is almost, or is, ready. What do you say we go take a look?” He asked the drake as he began to walk off towards the kitchen. Sapphire smiled and hopped off the bench, trotting after him.
~=~=~=~=~=~=~
Celestia sat at the dining table, deep in thought over the past events. The calmness and smiles that the cooks and servants worked with always aided her in gaining a better mood. However, current events were preventing any positive thoughts from entering her mind.
The doctors had started working on ways to help lessen Chad’s condition and would get rather close before hitting a wall. The best thoughts given so far were physical exertion and ‘burning’ the magic out of his body. The latter would be a doctor literally putting a spell in the body and letting the body’s excess energy feed it until the magic inside him was at a safe level. Though slightly dangerous was so far the best means of getting the magic out of him. She was ripped from her thoughts by a sudden prodding. She turned to see Luna with a raised eyebrow staring down at her.
“I thought I would find you here.” She spoke as she put her hoof down. “I haven’t seen you thinking that hard since you were deciding with Cadence which cake to buy on her wedding.” Luna joked with a grin as Celestia groaned.
“It is an important decision!” Celestia argued before putting a hoof onto the bridge of her nose and sighing. “But that’s not important, what is important is wrong with Chad. He’s-”
“The doctors already informed me, sister. And if I may say, you are worrying a bit too much.” Luna spoke as she sat by Celestia and watched as the doors opened to see several servants and cooks preparing the dining room for dinner.
“And you worry too little.”
“He may be in trouble, but the levels of magic are not at levels of lethality. And until they are, you should let the doctors and professionals do what they do best.” Luna stated, giving a smile to the kitchen staff as they began to set the table. “I would seriously consider restraining from telling him about his condition. It would only induce panic and stress. And considering his most recent thoughts and dreams, it would be the wisest decision to keep him from doing anything rash.”
Celestia gave Luna a quizzical look, about to ask her what she meant, only to have her words cut off by Luna raising a hoof. “This is no place to discuss private matters. When dinner is over, I shall tell you what you wish to know.” Celestia only sighed irritably and nodded. Her mind wandered to what Luna could be suggesting, her mind slowly slipping from worry to curiosity. She remained with a quizzical expression on her muzzle until the dining hall doors opened.
Author's Note
Don't worry, I have a plan for the upcoming Chapters, so save your curious questions for later.   
You will all get your answers in time. ;)

//-------------------------------------------------------//
Bloopers! To keep you entertained while I write the next Chapter!
//-------------------------------------------------------//
Bloopers! To keep you entertained while I write the next Chapter!
Bloopers!: Chapter 6: Perfect lines are a rarity
“So we’re rolling?” Chad asked as he looked at the camera man. He quickly scratched his nose as Twilight and the rest of them got ready. Chad shifted in the chair he was in while Rarity began humming a tune, waiting for everyone to get ready.
“Yeah, just whenever you are ready...” A faint voice is heard replying. Everyone got ready as Twilight and the others walked out of the room. “Everyone ready?”
A symphony of positive responses sounded as the man behind the camera began. “3... 2...”
{-}
Twilight arrived at the Boutique with all of her friends while they threw ideas around on how they were going to get Chad to the train station without anypony seeing him. As they walked in, they saw a rather interesting sight. Chad was sitting in a chair, getting his hair groomed by Rarity. His face was a neutral mask, aside from the occasional wince in pain as Rarity pulled on a knot of hair. She had to stand on a step stool due to their height differences
“Sorry, darling, but you can’t be meeting the princesses looking this...” Rarity paused as she tried to think of the right word. “Oh f**k, I forgot my line!”
“Pfft HAHAHAAH!!” Chad burst into laughter as the others began to cackle and giggle as well. Rarity blushed before joining in.
“CUT!” The voice from before shouted before it too fell into laughter.
Bloopers!: Chapter 6: Falling is magic.
“Alright Darling, would you mind trying on the suit for me? I want to make sure it’s perfect before we travel to Canterlot,” Rarity said as she hopped off of the stool and let Chad stand. He gave a nod as she levitated the suit over to him and practically pushed him into the changing room.
“We are on a schedule, Rarity. We might have to get going soon, with or without his formal wear,” Twilight said as she pulled out a scroll and looked over it. “In fact, the next train is in-”
“I am not sure how you did it Miss Rarity, but this suit fits am- OH SH**!” Chad bellowed out as he fell out of the changing room and onto the floor, face first.
“Oh goddess, you alright!?” Rarity began to snicker.
“I’m okay!” Chad said throwing a hand up from the crumpled pile he laid down as.
“CUT!”
Blooper!: Chapter 3
“I-I’m F-Fluttershy.” She said quietly. He gently took her hoof and shook it lightly before letting it go and letting her quickly return to her friends. Twilight walked back to Chad before giving him a smile and sitting down in front of him.
“Now that you have met my friends, do you think you can come with us to-...... F**k my A**!” Twilight shouted as she faced hoofed and everyone began to cackle and howl with laughter.
“Really?” Chad asked with a wry smile.
“CUT!”
Bloopers!: Chapter 4:
“Spike it’s okay! They are friendly, and they’re my guests.” Twilight said soothingly, putting a hoof on his shoulder since he was standing on a stool. He fidgeted a little as he looked at the two before Twilight rolled her eyes and chuckled. “This is Chad and his friend Sapphire. They are just staying for today so that Rarity may get him a new set of clothing.” She looked to the human and dragon before saying. “Chad and Sapphire, this is Spike. He is.............”
“Barney the dinosaur?” Chad asked before snickering, Sapphire soon joining.
“Oh f**k you!” Spike shouted showing Chad the middle finger. This made the crew, and everyone else, laugh.
“CUT!”
Author's Note
If you guys liked this, I may make more when more chapters come out.  
Chapter eight is on it's way People, poines, griffons, changelings- *THWACK* Thanks for reading! *Thump*  
...Sorry, but he just doesn't shut up!

//-------------------------------------------------------//
   Bloopers/Skits/Answers Oh my!: 4032 words of madness.   
//-------------------------------------------------------//
Author's Note
These are Bloopers, skits, and just plain randomness to help ease your waiting while I write the next chapter! ENJOY!
Bloopers/Skits/Answers Oh my!: 4032 words of madness.
Chapter 9: Brilliant Escape
“Oh that is boring. Wouldn’t it be easier to just zap him with some spell and be done with it?” He asked, making Chad stop momentarily. He worried for a second before Celestia picked up on this.
“No, Discord. We still don’t know the effects of Magic on his system, body, or mind. One of the many tests we are going to have to go through.” She stated glaring at Discord before giving Chad a calming smile. He let out a pent up breath and caught up to the group.
“Once again... Boooorrrring.” Discord stated before settling down onto the ground and walking off in the opposite direction. “Have fun with your needles, horns, and spells. I have pranks to set and legs to pull. Toodles~!” And with a snap of his talons, he was gone in a puff of pink smoke. Letting out a somewhat pained and irritable sigh, Chad pinched the bridge of his nose.
A mild creaking noise stirred the group before they looked up to see discord hanging from one of the banners, one eye barely peeking from the edge. As Chad was looking up, he looked to Celestia and Sapphire, both of whom just shrugged.
“Wow…” Said one of the crew members. “That has to be the dumbest thing I’ve seen all day.”
“SSSSHHHHHH.... I’m hiding...” Discord muttered from behind the banner.
“Cut.” Said a very annoyed director.
{-}
Back Stage:
“CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!” Chanted the key grips and the pyrotechnicians. Currently one of their own was in a drinking contest with Chad. Why? To prepare Chad for his needle.
“Yoosh… don’ know nothin’ bout anythin’...” Slurred one of the Pyro’s, holding a bottle of jack daniels. His leather stetson was crooked and his eyes were red. He took another swig. “You know what…. You know what? I don’t!”
“Y-Youuuuu...” Chad began to slur, pointing a poorly coordinated finger at the pryo. “Youuuu! Are silleh! Silleh I sphay!”
“My mother never hugged me, ever! I don’t what know what it feels like to held by another human being…” The Pyro said, tearing up a bit. “I’m gonna die aloooooone!” he cried.
“Ah, coom’ere!” Chad threw an arm around the Pryo, giving him a sloppy hug.
“Don’t touch me mother fucker…” The pyro snapped. “I don’t need no pity from you…” He took another swig and tried to stand up.
“Ssshhhhh....” Chad began to shush before whispering. “It’ll be just between us...” Oblivious to everyone else in the room.
“I gotta drive home…” The pyro muttered, standing and immediately falling to the floor. “Waiter! Check please!”
“.... I lost my penguin....” Chad muttered sadly before falling to the side, unconscious. In the open door of the green room, watching the entire thing, was the rest of the cast in Smokey Arrival. From Celestia to Lyra, everyone was watching. Before anyone else could react, a certain Smexy pony burst into the room before declaring.
“LO AND BEHOLD! MY BALLSACK!” And he proceeded to stand on his hind legs and point to his crotch, grinning widely and wickedly. Every mare in the room stared for a moment, there was a loud *pomf* from the princesses and the pegasi while a little buzz was emitted from the unicorns. The pony soon dropped to his hooves before running out the room. As he left everyone heard him yell. “I FUCKING DID IT, SLEDGE! YOU OWE ME TWO BITS!”
A muffled response came in the reply of “By Faust, I was joking you moron.”
“D-Did.... Did that just happen?” Twilight murmured from the group by the door.
“Sure as shit did! Why are there four of you?” Said the nearly passed out Pyro.
{-}
Elsewhere:
“Do you think I traumatized anyone by doing that?” Smexy Sombra asked, peeling a banana and taking a chomp out of it.
“Oh no, Buck no. I mean you just exposed yourself to the princesses and most of the lighting and pyro crew for two bits and a banana.” Sledge replied sarcastically. “If anything, they should give you a medal. Now help me set up these explosives.”
Smexy just stared at Sledge for a moment before nodding with a smile. “Yeah... And it would say ‘Wasn’t afraid to show it!’ Totally worth it.”
“You didn’t hear a word I said, did you?”
“Huh? Sorry I was busy thinking about what to spend these bits on.” Smexy said, jingling the two bits in his hoof.
“You can’t even get a pack of gum for that…” Sledge deadpanned.
“Yeah, but now I can get a new videogame. I just needed two bits.” Smexy said with a toothy smile.
“So why didn’t you…”
“Ep ep ep ep..... There is no fun in prostitution.” Smexy said with a frown. “Seriously, its just me laying there for five minutes and then I get money thrown at me.”
“You know what, buck this! I’m gonna go and see if I can win that drinking contest.”
“Sooooo.... You don’t want to go shoot people and level buildings in Battlefield with me for the next hour or two?” Smexy asked tilting his head.
“Okay, three things wrong with that. A: No thumbs. 2: How? We don’t have an Xbox, and C: NO BUCKING THUMBS!”
“Shhhhh....” Smexy shushed, putting a hoof to his lips before raising his other hoof. “.... Magic.”
“AGH! IT GOT IN MY MOUTH!” Sledge proceeded to run around, slamming into poles and stands before nearly being crushed by a source 4 lighting instrument.
“.... Magic.” Smexy stated, waving his hoofs in front of his face.
{-}  
Chapter 7: Smexy attacks once more.
Luna gave the human a confused nod before pointing to one of the stained glass windows before her horn lit up a small latch opened up a small window. As Chad felt the gentle breeze, he walked over and quickly opened the box and pulled out a cigarette and match. Luna watched him Curiously while Celestia rubbed her temples. Twilight let Chad calm his nerves while she nudged Celestia.
“What’s the matter?” She asked in a hushed tone. Celestia just groaned quietly before looking at her former student.
“I had forgotten about a few of- Does anyone else smell smoke?” Celestia asked looking around. Soon Chad came running by, somehow on fire. In the background, a Certain Smexy pony was giggling with a hoof over his mouth.
“AAAAAAHHHH! HEEELP ME!” Chad shouted as he began rolling on ground.
“WHAT THE BUCK DID YOU DO SMEXY!?” Sledge shouted loudly
“Nothing!” Smexy shouted, throwing his hooves in the air. It would have been believable if it hadn’t been for a bottle of lighter fluid flying from his hoof as he did so. He glanced at the bottle before pointing to the curtain. “It was the curtain’s fault!.... SMOKEBOMB!” He disappeared behind a plume of smoke before snoring was heard. As the smoke clear, Smexy was face first on the floor, passed out.
“WHY HASN’T ANYONE HELPED ME!?” Chad shouted as he continued to roll around.
“Shut up! Go jump in a lake or something!”
“Good lord... CUT!”
{-}
“Mmmo’way... Hib’rnating. Don’ disturrrrrb...” She moaned out as she swatted at Chad some more. Chad pursed his lips in irritation before they formed into a wicked grin. He tiptoed over to a desk and grabbed a quill from the table. Walking back over and twirled the tool of laugher in his fingers before brushing it against Sapphire’s underbelly. The effects were almost immediate.
Sapphire’s claw shot out in a fist and slammed into Chad’s face, a loud crack echoed through the room as Chad’s nose broke and he flew into the wall.
“Oh shit!” shouted Sledge and the other crew members.
“Jebus... That was awesome!” Smexy shouted bouncing in the air.
“Why did we hire this guy again?” One of the crew asked.
“What did I do!?” Sapphire cried, horrified.
“Ah phink my phaw iph faphered.” Chad slurred out.
“What? I don’t speak idiot.” Sledge asked, looking at the battered human.
“His jaw is broken.” Smexy whispered to him.
“You speak idiot fluently, don’t you?”
“Ten years of training!” Smexy said pridefully.
“Can... Can we just stop filming?” The director asked.
{-}
After shooting:
“And so I told her, that if it was illegal she should have told me before hand.” Smexy stated with a nod.
“I’m sure she did…” Sledge said, rubbing his temples.
“Oh come on, I doubt it was. I mean all I was doing was having a rave.” Smexy stated, waving a dismissive hoof.
“In her refrigerator?” Asked one of the other crew members.
“Do you question my methods?” Smexy asked, pausing only a moment. “Don’t answer that.”
“What were you hired for again?”
“Oh I am the guy who helps Chad calm down.” Smexy said shrugging. “I usually tell him a joke or something.” Ignoring the disbelieving looks he got as they walked, Smexy smiled before beginning. “Like this one. What happens when a Dragon punches a guy in the face?”
“I don’t know, what?” Sledge asked, stopping in front of the green room. Smexy gave Sledge a smile. The kind of smile that is both Smug, knowing, foreboding, and completely shit eating. With one swift motion he kicked the door open, revealing a certain activity between a human and a dragon. I mean sex. They were having sex, and I don’t mean the lovey dovey stuff, I mean the hardcore “Balls to the walls” stuff you don’t even see on porn sites. The sound of skin and scales slapping was loud enough to be measured on the richter scale and gain at least a three.
That kind of sex.
“Make up sex!” Smexy said with a huge smile.
“MY EYES!” Sledge shouted, running around again and crashing into a wall. “HOW DOES THAT EVEN FIT IN THERE!?”
“Aaaah... I love showbiz.”
“SMEXY, WHAT THE FUCK!?” Chad shouted.
“Can I kill him, please say I can kill him.” Sapphire asked.
“I’ll hide the body…” Sledge moaned into the floor.
“La-bibbida-bibba-dum, La-bibbida-bibba-do!” Then Smexy clapped his hooves together before saying. “And that’s how you do it on broadway.”
{-}
As Celestia said that, Chad stopped chewing on the piece of toast he was eating and turned a tad green. It cleared up as he finished his food and began sipping on his coffee to help ease his stomach. Rainbow Dash looked at him before nudging him with her elbow. “Hey, what’s with you? Don’t like tests or something?” She asked, taking a large bite out of her breakfast as she finished. Chad shook his head.
“No, no. It’s just needles.” He said, shuddering slightly at the word. “I hate needles.”
“I HATE SMEXY!” Shouted a voice from out of view, all of the cast nodded.
“But don’t you all see!?” Smexy shouted running in front of the camera. He pulled a hoof to his chin before pulling off a mask to reveal... Himself. “I AM SMEXY!”
“We know dipshit.” Sledge deadpanned.
“Oh.... Well then I have one thing to say.” Smexy said with a stoic voice. He promptly stood on his hind legs and pointed to his crotch before shouting. “LO AND BEHOLD! MY BALLSACK!”
*pomf*
*bzzt*
“OH GOOD GOD! CUT!”
{-}
Alright, thanks for sticking with me through all this madness, and I hope you enjoyed the Shenanigans! Also, I would like to thank my friend Alex Mason (AKA Sledge) for helping me out with this set of Bloopers. And with that in mind, I have a few questions asked by the fans to the characters. So let’s begin shall we?
{-}
The cast of Smokey Arrival all sat down on couches and chairs placed in the Throne Room. Everyone was gathered around while Smexy Sombra walked out and waved at the Camera.
“Hello, everyone! I am here to ask your Questions to the viewers and get this over with so everyone can go home and forget about the day!.... Well, until they see what they put themselves through.” Smexy said, giving a shit eating grin before pulling out a set of cards. “Alright... Let’s see what we have here. The first set is from AkumaBlueClown!” He sorted them out before turning to Chad.
“Okay Chad, let’s get down to it! His first question!” Smexy began. “If you have to choose between Twilight's, Rarity's or Saphire's Flank which will you get?”
“.......... Uhm, they kinda know that one already.” Chad said, blushing and scratching the back of his head while Sapphire glared at Smexy.
“They sure do... Next Question!” He tossed one of the cards into the air. “If Fluttershy comes to you and ask YOU to be the father of her foals, will you accept?” Everyone’s jaws dropped and a certain pegasus fell to the ground unconscious.
“God damn it, Smexy.” Sledge groaned off to the right.
“Hey, I didn’t make these questions this BlueCrown guy did.” Smexy stated.
“Uhm.... Uuuh... Yes?” Chad said unsure, looking around. He was soon punched in the abdomen by Sapphire, whom glared at him. He coughed, putting a hand to his mouth as he felt himself vomit slightly. “I mean no...”
“Okie Dokie!” Smexy chucked the card off somewhere. “Oh this one isn’t sexual! Have you ever think what would you do when you are out of cigarettes? also Have you thought about how will you charge your cell phone?”
“Well... They still have pipes here and tobacco, so I can do that. As for my phone?.... No idea.” Chad said shrugging.
“Next Question; Tell me your 5 favorite bands and favorite music genre?” Smexy asked.
“Eh.... Evanescence, Van Canto, Skillet, Lindsey Stirling is a good artist... Aaaand Da Vinci’s Notebook is pretty awesome.” Chad said before rubbing his chin. “And Acapella, rock, and instrumental would be the top three.”
“Fair ‘Nuff. Second to last... Tits or Ass?” Smexy asked, a big grin on his face.
“.... Ass.” Chad said, facepalming.
“GOD DAMN IT, SMEXY.” Sledge and the director grunted out.
“Whaaaaaaat? It was your guys’ idea!” Smexy whined, tossing the asked questions at them before turning back to Chad. “Final question to Chad, Five hundred bits if you kiss Pinkie or One Thousand if you take your clothes (all) for the rest of the Q/A.”
Chad blinked looking at the group, then to Pinkie, then to Sapphire before saying. “Pinkie I guess, at least there I don’t traumatize anyone. Like you...” In that moment, he was tackled off the couch by the pink mare, both of them falling behind the couch. After a moment Pinkie hopped back to her seat while Chad shakily stood up, his entire appearance looking completely confused. “What... Just happened...”
“Okay! Next one to Rarity! Tell what is your favorite part from Chad's anatomy?” Smexy asked, once again gaining his trademark smile. There was a pair of smacks off screen. Rarity could only blush until she was redder than a cherry.
“U-Uhm... Pass?” She said unsure.
“.... It’s his penis isn’t it.” Smexy said with a blank expression. “There a theme happening with this guy’s questions.”
“GOD DAMN IT SMEXY!” Now the key grips were joining in.
“Alright, this one is to Applejack! Would you be interested in a three way with Chad and Rarity?” Smexy read off the card, he stopped for a moment before mouthing ‘3... 2... 1...’
“GOD DAMN IT SMEXY!”
“There it is!” Smexy said happily before looking expectantly to Applejack.
“..........” Applejack was simply glaring at Smexy and blushing fiercely.
“It’s yes. Definitely a yes. I mean, I felt those vibrations from earlier all the way in my car.” Smexy said, flipping the cards.
“You don’t have any fingers, how do you drive?” Asked one of the security guards.
“How do YOU Drive a car with fingers!? Hmmm!?” Smexy shouted, off screen almost every crew member put there head in their palms, hooves, or claws. “Yeah... Didn’t think you had a response.”
“Oh my fucking god is he dumb.”
“NEXT QUESTION!” Smexy shouted, tossing the cards in the air, plucking the nearest one from the air. “Pinkie.... What would you do if Chad becomes your special somepony?”
“I WOULD-” Pinkie began before the Camera cut out. It started back up again with everyone in the room either snoring or on the brink of passing out. “-PANCAKES!”
“My god…” a voice said off screen. “It’s over! IT’S FINALLY OVER!”
“Shut up, Jerry!... I am trying to sleep...” Smexy muttered, waving a hoof in the air. Sledge wandered into frame for a moment, and poked Smexy a few times, then smiled wickedly and delivered a hard punch to his face.
“OH MY~!” Smexy shouted as he woke up, his head shooting up.
“Who is he? George Takei?” Asked the director.
“What a dream... I didn’t think that Pixie Sticks could be used that way.” Smexy blinked and rubbed his eyes
“Get on with it.” Said the Director.
“Yes! Get on with it!” Shouted Sledge
“YES GET ON WITH IT!” Shouted the rest of the crew, waving their equipment in the air.
“PINKIE! What’s the kinkiest dream you have had with creamy frosting?!” Smexy shouted over everyone. Pinkie took in a massive breath as everyone’s expressions fell. Once more, the Camera cut out. As it turned back on, the Camera was turned on its side, several pieces of furniture were turned over. Someone picked up the Camera and showed the room. It was in total chaos. Except for where Smexy sat. “.... Pffft, that’s a monday for me.” And once more the Camera turned off. As it came back on, everything was back in order, aside from Pinkie missing from the room.
“God… Damn… It… Smexy…” Said the raspy voice of the director and Sledge.
“Not my fault.... Although it was funny. Especially the part with the lawnmower and apricots.” Smexy said smiling. “This one is to Twilight!”
“Oh god...” Chad muttered.
“Tell me what you consider the 3 most amazing things you have found out from human technology AND History? Three from each.” Smexy asked.
“It’s a legitimate question…” Sledge said, shocked. “THERE IS A GOD!”
“Uhm.... His phone, those Computers he told me about, and the cars I guess. And with history... Their evolving society, the American civil war, aaand... Rome.”
“Yay! And these are all gone!” Smexy shouted before glancing at the questions. “Wait a minute....”
“How on god’s green earth did you get out of your cage!?” A new voice shouted out. Smexy let out a ‘Eeep’ before trying to run. Soon a man wearing a tan Beanie a checkered grey and black hoodie, and jeans ran in, the Author as we shall call him, and grabbed him by the scruff of his neck. “Good god, I can only imagine what you have been doing.” Sledge and the rest of the crew began to chuckle, then laugh hysterically. “He showed you his balls didn’t he?”
*pomf**bbzt*
“Eeyup.”
“Thank you, Big Mac... Wait, what are you doing here?” The Author asked.
“I have a masters in theatre arts…” Big Mac replied, sighing slightly.
“Oh... Well good for you. Anyway....” The Author grabbed a small stack of questions and looked over them before nodding. “Give me just a second.” He promptly turned towards the exit and dropped-kicked Smexy out of the theatre. “Now then... On with the Q’n’A!”
“Damn... He got some air...” Sapphire muttered looking out the door.
“I don’t think he’s landed yet…” Sledge added, there was a distant *thud* “There it is.”
“Okay, these last four by BlueCrown are for me! Wonderful.” The Author walked over and simply sat down on the couch before pointing to the Podium where Smexy was at. “I would burn that, and the first question is; There would be more music during the story? Cause that would be fun. There may be and there may not, I just need to find a situation in where I can use it.”
“Is anyone else just waiting for the Sex question to pop up?” The Director asked.
“I’’m already taking advil for the face hoof.” Sledge groaned.
“Next one is: Please tell me you haven't choose Sapphire as his love interest jet? Do the ponies will get a chance with Chad?” The Author looked to the Camera with shit eating smile. “You will just have to wait and see. Remember things that happen off set, stay off set.”
“Phrasing, boom!” Smexy’s pain filled voice carried.
“Third question...” The Author began, ignoring the deranged pony version of himself. “There would be any villain? Old one or OC? Maybe... I do have several ideas in store for our human friend.”
“Wait what?” Chad asked, leaning forward and looking to the Director.
“Final question; Will there be any Trixie.” The Author looked off for a moment before Shrugging. “I dunno know. Maybe. Possibly.” The Author looked at the cards before tossing them behind himself. “And that’s it for those. But wait, theres more!” The Author pulled out several more questions from his pocket.
“Joy.” Sledge muttered.
“Lupus asks Sapphire; What are the courtship practices of the dragons?” The Author asked. Sapphire hummed for a moment before beginning to speak.
“Well often times its just who ever is the strongest usually mates. Other times its actual love, others its just stress relief. Not too complicated really. A lot of the time two females will actually fight for a male and that usually ends up in a three way, sometimes its two males for one female, but that is rare.... Like I said, its not too complicated.” Sapphire stated, shrugging. “Its dragon parenting that gets complicated.”
“Well, that is... Enlightening.” The Author muttered crumpling the paper and chucking it away. “Next questions are from Alex Mason, get on set you senile mother fucker!” A man wearing a pair of jeans, combat boots, an avenged sevenfold shirt and a beanie walked on stage.
“What the fuck dude, I was sleeping! It’s two in the morning.”
“And I was busy with things, your point?”
“I was asleep. I was not doing anything. I was enjoying life.”
“Well life is not worth living, so sit down and ask your questions.” The Author said, kicking a chair over to him.
“You’re a depressing mother fucker, you know that?” Alex sat down and sighed. “Okay… Do you plan on writing a sequel to this story?”
“Mehbeh.” The Author said putting his chin in his hands.
“Are you gonna reimburse me for the gas money it took to get here? Cause driving from the US to Equestria takes a long fucking time.”
“I took a plane.” The Author stated, leaning back in his seat.
“That plane?” Alex asked, pointing at the plane sticking through the ceiling.
“Yup....”
“Okay… I’m goin’ to bed.”
“There’s a bed in the green room.” The Author said with a smile.
“Okay…” Alex said, tiredly. He walked off screen, and the author began to countdown. As he heard a door open and then close, he counted to three on his his fingers before the door was flung off its hinges.
“THIS ROOM REEKS OF SWEAT AND SHAMELESS SEX!” Alex shouted. “Also tacos…”
The Author let out a loud roar of laughter before standing up, picking up a battered and still smiling Smexy from the ground before shouting. “AND THAT’S IT! GOOD NIGHT EVERYBODY!”
The cast, crew, director, and eve Alex all walked into frame and began to wave at the camera, each shouting their goodbyes to the camera. One by one they left until it was just Smexy, The Author, and Alex.
“Seriously though, I need gas money…” Alex said, watching them all go home for the night. The lights turned off and he was left standing there. “Please…” He looked around. “I don’t like being alone…” The only response he got was a loud roar of static.
“Oh fuck…” He said, terrified.

//-------------------------------------------------------//
               Undergoing a MASSIVE rewrite.               
//-------------------------------------------------------//
Undergoing a MASSIVE rewrite.
After many months of stressful thought, I have decided to completely rewrite this story. I am not going to make any promises about doing it quickly, or keeping anything. But for those of you who are wondering WHY I am doing this, it's because I am unhappy with how the story has gone. It started off strong and then it teetered off into oblivion. Now, before people start saying it was fine the way it was, I can somewhat agree with you, but damn it, I know I can make it better.
So the skinny of it, I am unhappy with what I have written, aside from a few parts, and I am going to do a MASSIVE overhaul on the story. I am sorry if it makes unhappy, but I am going to try and make it better. So hope you guys are on board with this, if not, that's fine, I understand. If you have any questions, feel free to PM me or ask in the Comments and I will get to you when I can.
Until then, hope you all have had a wonderful day, and I will see you all, next time.