Resistance: Two Minds, One Man

Chapters

Operation Black Eden
First Encounters
Rage of a Sentinal
The Calvary has Arrived
Some Fates are Worse than Death
Judgement
Revelations
The Train Ride
The Party
Reformation Day One
Reformation Part Two
Twisted History
Sorrow
Reconciliation
Learning Generosity
Learning Laughter

Operation Black Eden

If you have never played any of the Resistance games than take a look at this video. It literally sums up the whole story in three minutes. If you have played the Resistance games, watch in anyway cause its cool.

June 26, 1953, Chimeran Fleet above the Gulf of Mexico

Lt. Nathan Hale, leader of Echo Team and Humanity's best weapon against the Chimera, sprinted as fast as he could to the shuttle that his comrade, Corporal Joseph Capelli had hijacked. Hale had just killed the Chimeran leader, Daedelus, and activated the new fission bomb that would destroy the Chimeran ship they were on and all of the large Chimeran fleet. Hale sprinted at superhuman speeds from the combination of adrenaline and the Sentinal's super speed. The Sentinals had been created to retaliate against the Chimera who proved to be physically and technologically superior to the human race. The project, known as 'Project Abraham' consisted of injecting the Chimeran virus into human subjects in order to create a super soldier that had the abilities of a chimera but remained human. Many candidates died from the procedure and those who survived were at heavy risk of conversion into a chimera due to the presence of the virus within them. Viral inhibitors were the only things keeping Hale and Capelli from turning into the enemy the so vastly despised.

"Capelli, Daedalus is down and the bomb is armed." Hale said to Capelli over radio as he ran.

"Copy that. Command, how much time do we have?" Capelli asked SRPA command.

"Four minutes." Command replied.

"Understood. Hale get to the hangar, ill prep the shuttle for launch. This is gonna be a close one!" Capelli said. Hale ran through the imploding ship. He used the new powers he inherited from Daedalus to fire mental blasts to kill any chimera who got in his way. After fighting his way through the ship, he felt his mind starting to fade. Ever since he refused to get inhibitor treatment so he could save Dr. Malikov at Bryce Canyon, Hale had slowly but surely begun to convert into a Chimera. Hale felt an auger round fire past him. He turned to see three chimeran Steelheads firing their notorious Auger Rifles at him. Augers could fire through solid wall making cover useless. Hale turned his hands towards the enemy and sent a wave of mental energy at the chimera blowing them to pieces. He continued running till he ran into a group of advanced hybrids with a Ravager primarch. Hale dodged as the fire of bullseye rounds tore through the air. He pulled out his hands again and fired another wave of mental energy and exploded the chimera into bloody chunksHale found his way outside as he began dodging debris. He saw Capelli on a platfrom with the shuttle firing on incoming chimera with his HVAP Wraith.

"HALE WE GOTTA GO!" Capelli screamed as Hale made his way up the ramp. The two quickly entered the shuttle and took off. Hale piloted the shuttle away as the fission bomb began to detonate. The chimeran flagship began to turn into a ball of light as they flew away. The detonation sent out a shockwave the obliterated the entire chimeran fleet.

"HALE PULL UP!" Capelli yelled to Hale as the force from the explosion sent their craft awry. Chunks of debris slamming into their craft threatening to destroy it.

"It's not responding!" Hale cried as he struggled with the controls. They screamed as the explosion engulfed them and all went dark.

XXX

Capelli awoke to find his face planted on the control pad. His whole body ached, he felt like a Titan had just taken a swing at him. He had a busted nose and numerous scars that were now bleeding. He had a burn on his arm from where a bullseye round roasted his flesh. He set aside the pain as chimeran cells in him began healing the wounds. Chimera had metabolisms nearly ten times greater than that of a human meaning they could regenerate wounds in seconds. The cost of which requiring a cooling pack in order to avoid overheating. Thus, chimera generally thrived better in colder conditions. One of the perks to being a Sentinal was acquiring the chimera's rapid healing abilities.

" Fuck.......Just once...... I'd wish you'd try landing one of these things." Capelli said as he looked up to find Hale wasn't there. Capelli was nervous, did Hale die in the impact.

Is he dead? No, there is no body, he must have gone outside. Capelli thought as he left the shuttle. Hale had survived Project Abraham, survived London, survived Holar Tower, and had just survived Daedalus. For Hale to have died in a crash would have just been insulting. Capelli stepped outside expecting to see smoldering ruin and a red sky but instead found himself in a bright sunny forest. There was no mushroom cloud from the detonation, no ruins or wreckage of any ship, not even smoke or fire. The only smoke coming from his crashed shuttle.

"What the fuck?" Capelli thought as he saw Hale standing no more than fifteen feet away from him. Right away Capelli could sense something was wrong.

"Hale what happened?" Capelli asked his CO as he examined his surroundings very confused. "Where the hell are we?"

"Can you hear them? They are calling to us, It is beautiful!" Hale said in Daedalus's voice as he turned around. His eyes a complete gold color. His skin now so pale you could see the purple and blue veins running throughout his body. All of his hair was now gone aswell

"SHIT!" Capelli thought as he pulled out his M1911 sidearm and aimed it straight at Hale. Hale had finally converted, he was now one of them!.

"Stay back!" Capelli warned as Hale walked towards him.

"This is just the beginning." The Chimera-Hale said. Capelli hesitated with the trigger. He remembered at Bryce Canyon when Hale refused the inhibitor treatment how Capelli had called him out.

Bryce Canyon, Several Weeks ago.

You look like hell Lieutenant! Was he worth it? Capelli screamed as the VTOL carrying him and the rest of Echo Team landed on the pad. "Cause there ain't no inhibitor stations where we're going! You just made yourself a walking timebomb!"

"Drop it Corporal!" Benjamin Warner, a fellow Sentinal said as he helped Dr. Malikov onto the VTOL. Capelli went up to Hale and pushed him.

"When you do turn, and it won't be long now. I'LL be the one who pulls the trigger! Do you hear me? I won't hesitate! Not even for a sec-"

"Offer accepted!" Hale said as he grabbed Capelli by the throat. "Now until that time comes. Lets consider this case closed!" Hale growled as he threw Capelli to the ground.

XXXX

For once in his entire life, Capelli felt something he had never felt before, guilt.

"Forgive me sir." Capelli said as he cocked the gun. "It was an honor." With a pull of trigger and a bloody explosion. Nathan Hale, the hero of the Chimeran war.... was dead. Capelli looked down at his dead officer. He had come to greatly respect Hale, even considered him a friend. One of the only friends Capelli ever had after the deceased Aaron Hawthorne and Ben Warner.

"FUUUCK!" Capelli screamed as he threw the pistol and banged on the ground with his fists. "GODDAMN FUCKIN CHIMERA!!!!"

"EEP!" A high voice cried. Capelli turned to see bushes moving. He assumed it was a small animal that had not yet been killed by the Chimera. Capelli decided to cremate Hale, the chimeran virus was still in Hale's corpse and Capelli wanted every last Chimera, from the Leviathan down to last cell of the virus, to burn. Capelli got some wood and gunpowder from rounds from his gun and lit the fire. He watched as Hale's body turned to ash. Capelli took an empty ammo box and put Hale's ashes into it so if he got out of this and back to SRPA, Hale could be properly honored. Night was falling as Capelli went to see what he could salvage from the shuttle. The shuttle was loaded with chimeran weaponry as he took inventory. As much as he hated using chimeran weapons for personal reasons, he could not help but admit the superiority of chimeran weapons to human weapons. He pulled out a notebook where he drew sketches of the chimera he had encountered and took inventory of what he had. He included his own weapons, the chimeran weapons aboard the shuttle, and the Hale's weapons.

Bullseye- 750 rounds, 50 tags
HVAP Wraith- 900 rounds
M1911- 48 rounds
Magnum- 11 rounds
Auger= 150 rounds, plus eight auger shields
LAARK Rocket Launcher- 6 rockets. Capelli made a mental note to preserve the LAARK ammo.
Fareye Sniper Rifle- 80 rounds
Rossmore Shotgun- 36 shells.
7 frag grenades
20 hedgehog grenades
3 air fuel grenandes
Nine inch combat knife

Content with what he had. Capelli loaded up and was deciding if he should head out. He did not want to stay in what was presumed to be 'grey territory' especially at night. He was in the shuttle when he heard a howling in the distance. It sounded all too familiar to Capelli

"Fuck! Howlers!" Capelli cried as he grabbed a rossmore shotgun and prepared himself for the chimeran attack.

Author's Note

Alright rip me to shreds.

First Encounters

The sun shone over the town of Ponyville. It was a crisp summer evening and the gentle summer breeze slightly moved the trees. On the edge of Ponyville was a single cottage. Out walked a yellow pegasus with a pink mane who began to walk calmly through the border of the Everfree Forest. She feared the forest greatly at night but during the day it wasn't so bad. She was known to be incredibly shy but had a heart as big as Equestria itself, the ponies name, was Fluttershy. She had to venture into the forest to get some medical herbs for her animals. Her cottage was basically one big Vet's office. Little mice and bunnies scurried across the floor while birds flew overhead. She even kept some rather large animals such as bears and chickens out back. She timidly walked through the forest as she picked up some medical herbs she located in the brush.

"Oh it certainly is a nice day out today." She said as she took in the sight around her. The green and healthy trees, the blue sky, Celestia's radiant sun, the giant metal object hurtling towards her.

"What is that?" She said as she squinted her eyes to get a better view. She couldn't tell what it was but she could tell it was headed right for her! She squeaked as she flew for cover at speeds her friend fast-flying fried Rainbow Dash would be envious of. She heard an explosion in the distance as the object hit the ground. She looked up and saw the crash wasn't far from her position. She could faintly hear voices talking from the crash site.

"Oh somepony could be hurt!" She said as she slowly and carefully moved forward to the crash sight. She could smell and see smoke rising. She was ready to help any pony or animal that had been hurt by the impact but what she saw when she looked through the brush scared her. It was no pony, or anything Fluttershy had ever seen. It was very tall, taller than even Princess Celestia! It was heavily muscled and adorned some sort of black clothing. It had some sort of device on its neck that hissed every once in a while. It had no snout and no mane. It's skin was a pale white and its eyes were a haunting gold. Something about it frightened Fluttershy greatly but she didn't know what it was, it almost felt demonic.

"Hale? What happened?" Another one of the creatures said coming out of the wreckage, this one was even taller and more muscular than the other one! It wore a black t-shirt with combat pants and combat boots. It also had the same device around it's neck and it wore a black wool cap. What caught Fluttershy's attention was its golden eyes.

"Can you hear them? They are calling to us, it is beautiful!" The other one replied. The voice sounded unlike anything Fluttershy had ever heard! It sounded chilling and almost evil. The voice it spoke in caused goosebumps to pop up all over Fluttershy's small body. She saw the other creature point some sort of device at the him.

"Whats going on?" Fluttershy thought as she watched the scene unfold.

"Forgive me sir, it was an honor." The taller creature said as a loud sound followed by a gush of blood dropped the other creature to the ground. It was just killed by the other creature! Fluttershy was too petrified to even move after witnessing the bloody murder in front of her. She saw the creature look over the dead body of the other one.

FUUUCK!" It screamed as it tossed the device it used to kill the other creature at the bush Fluttershy was hiding in. The device hit her in the leg and she cried in pain.

"EEP!" She cried as tears formed at her eyes. She saw the creature turn to face her direction. Fluttershy froze as it stared at her hiding spot. It's golden eyes burning holes through Fluttershy's soul. It eventually turned away and began collecting wood from nearby branches and trees. Fluttershy took this opportunity to escape. She limped away as fast as she could until she felt she was far enough away from the monster. She had so many questions running through her mind. What was this creature? Where did it come from? Why did it kill the other one? How did it speak equish? Fluttershy knew she needed to find help but night was beginning to fall, she couldn't run because of her wounded leg and she couldn't fly because she couldn't see where she was going. Her worst nightmare was realized: Lost in the Everfree Forest at night. She tried to convince herself everything was alright but it wasn't working.

"It's okay Fluttershy, its all in your head!" She cried as she hit something wooden. She looked up to see two yellow eyes staring back at her.

"AHHHHHHHH!" She screamed at the top of her lungs. Capelli heard a woman's scream and he began running with his shotgun to the source of the scream. He assumed she was under attack by howlers meaning she had very little time. Capelli sprinted until he came into a clearing where the scream had come from.

"Ma'am! WHERE ARE YOU!" He screamed as he saw yellow eyes glowing in the bushes. The signature yellow eyes of the chimera.

"FUCK!" He yelled as he fired a round of his shotgun at the eyes. He heard the snapping of wood. Capelli was confused, he should have heard the sound of organic material being shredded. He figured he must have missed and hit a nearby tree. He fired again at a another pair of yellow eyes and again heard wood snapping.

"Why the fuck can't I hit shit?" Capelli thought as finally one of the howlers came into view only for Capelli to find they weren't howlers at all.

"What the fuck?" He said as he stared at what was in front of him. A fucking wolf made out of wood! Capelli didn't know if he should be relieved or concerned.

"Is this some new fuckin chimera? Like we don't have enough of these six-eyed cocksuckers to deal with!" Capelli said as the wooden wolf jumped at him. Capelli fired and killed the beast as flecks of wood flew everywhere. Another wolf jumped onto Capelli's back and bit into his shoulder. Capelli screamed as he grabbed the wolf and threw it off of him. Capelli screamed with rage as he fired at the beast. He saw six more approaching and he aimed his shotgun only to see it was out of ammo.

"Shit!" He said as he pulled out his magnum. Aiming carefully, he fired at the center of the wolves. He then activated the magnum's secondary ability as the round exploded killing all five of the wolves. The last one, enraged at the death of its lunged at Capelli and tackled the human to the ground. The wolf clawed at Capelli's chest and face as the sentinal pulled out his knife and plunged it into the skull of the beast. The wooden wolf fell backwards as Capelli ran at it and stomped its head into the ground till it was a pile of splinters. Capelli sat down out of breath as he rubbed his wounds. The chimeran cells within him already healing it. He assumed that the woman who had been calling for help was dead so he got up and began to walk away. He saw a small yellow pony glaring up at him. Were it daytime Capelli would have seen that it had wings. Capelli considered killing it for meat but he decided to let the beast live. It was only a matter of time before something else killed it. in this chimera infested forest.

Fluttershy could not believe what she just saw! That creature had killed nine timberwolves! Nine!! If she wasn't frightened before now she was! This thing could seriously hurt somepony as it had no objection to killing. Fluttershy needed to warn her friends about this. She looked up to see she was near the edge of the forest and she could see her cottage from her position. After limping as fast as she could she remembered that if the creature hadn't come, she would be dead. Plus it didn't hurt her when it was staring right at her. Maybe it wasn't so bad after all but either way she had to tell the others about this!

XXX

Capelli cautiously walked back to the crash site. He figured he was better off taking cover in the destroyed shuttle than being stuck out in the forest at night. He held his magnum up high until he entered the shuttle and shut the door. Content that it was locked. He attempted to lay down and get some sleep. He was disturbed by the sound of his Ipack dispensing a gas form of the inhibitor. Capelli realized it was running low so he pulled out some inhibitors he kept in his backpack. It had been two weeks since his last inhibitor treatment. He had six vials meaning he would be okay for about three months. By then he will have definitely gotten out of the forest. He took out one of the inhibitor vials and pulled out the shot needle. He gulped as he brought the needle to the back of his neck where his brainstem was. He grunted as he stabbed his neck with the needle and injected the inhibitor. It hurt like hell but it beat turning into one of those six eyed bastards. After administering his inhibitor, Capelli lay down on the cold floor using his backpack for a pillow. Capelli tried to figure what had just happened. Hale and him were flying away from the chimeran fleet as it detonated. Capelli assumed they just crashed to the ground below but they should have crashed in a mexican ecosystem, instead he appeared to be in a north american forest. Plus he had not seen any wreckage from the thousands of ships that went down from the explosion. There wasn't even any damage to the environment. He was definitely still on earth though based off his run in with the wooden wolves. They must have been some chimeran experiment gone wrong. That must have been what was going on here! He sighed as he turned over and tried to fall asleep but was plagued with nightmares from the war.

Author's Note

Please leave reviews so I know if this is good or not.

Rage of a Sentinal

Fluttershy eventually made it inside her home, her heart still beating from her close call with death. She decided it was best to wait till morning came to tell her friends about the creature in the forest. Afterall, going back in there at this time would be suicide! She also needed to tend to her injured leg. She inspected it and found it was not broken but the bone was heavily bruised and maybe sprained. She wasn't as tough as other ponies and she was injured very easily due to her fragile frame. She wrapped a bandage around it to keep it stable. She then floated to her bed and quickly fell asleep.

XXX

Forgive me sir, it was an honor." Capelli said as he fired the round at Hale's head only for the ex-human to catch the bullet in his hands.

"WHAT?" Capelli shouted as he emptied his clip in Hale's body. All the bullets simply passed through without leaving so much as a scratch. Hale teleported in front of him and smiled.

"Join me brother, see what it is like!" Hale said as he grabbed Capelli and bit into his neck.

"AHHH!" Capelli yelled as he woke up clutching his neck. He was breathing heavily and sweat dripped from is head. "Fucking nightmare, I can't even escape this war in my sleep!" Capelli said as he rolled over and fell back asleep.

XXX

Fluttershy awoke to knocking on her door. She yawned as she woke up and headed downstairs.

"Now who could that be?" She asked as she opened the door and saw her five friends waiting there.

"Fluttershy darling! Are you alright?" A white unicorn named Rarity asked.

"Um." Fluttershy said.

"Angel darted over and told us to come here!" A orange earth pony with a country accent named Applejack said. Angel was Fluttershy's pet bunny.

"Well, you see-" Fluttershy said quietly.

"FLUTTERSHY! WE WERE SO NERVOUS!!!" A pink earth pony named Pinkie Pie said appearing out of nowhere. "Angel was there and was like." Pinkie said mimicking the rabbits movements. "And we were like 'No way!' and Angel was like 'YEAH WAY'!"

"Really I'm-" Fluttershy tried to speak.

"What happened to your leg Fluttershy?" A lavender unicorn named Twilight Sparkle asked pointing to Fluttershy's bandaged leg.

"I can explain-" Fluttershy tried to say again.

"WHO HURT YOU! NOPONY MESSES WITH MY FRIENDS!" A rainbow pegasus named Rainbow Dash said.

"GIIIIIRLS!" Fluttershy screamed causing them all to go silent. "I'm okay, I just have a little sprain but since you are all here I have something very important to tell you." Fluttershy said as she discussed the events of last night.

"Your pulling our legs right Shy?" Rainbow Dash asked not believing the story.

"Oh no no no! It really happened! Oh I was so frightened! The way the other one talked was so scary!" Fluttershy said remembering the haunting words. The look of fear in Fluttershy's eyes were genuine.

"Fluttershy dear, I do believe you had a rough night. Maybe it was all in your head!" Rarity said.

"Come on y'all why would Fluttershy just make this up?" Applejack said coming to her friends defense.

"I never said she was lying Applejack! I simply said she may have just imagined it. That dreaded forest does play tricks on the mind." Rarity said bringing up a good point, the Everfree Forest was known to drive ponies mad.

"Well I was pretty scared." Fluttershy said considering the possibility that she just imagined all of it. But then she remembered there was a crashed ship in the forest she could take them to for proof. "Wait there was a crashed ship in the forest!"

"A ship?" Twilight said now interested. "Can you take us too it?

"Um." Fluttershy said suddenly rethinking Twilight's proposition. Would if the creature was out for blood and it tried to hurt somepony?

"Come on Fluttershy! Don't back down now!" Rainbow Dash said.

"W-w-would if he tries to hurt one of us?" Fluttershy asked.

"I'll ask the princess to come, we will also bring the elements just in case. Spike?" Twilight said.

"Yes Twilight?" A short purple dragon replied.

"Write a letter to Princess Celestia tell her that-" Twilight began to say.

"Wait did anypony hear that?" Applejack said.

"Hear what?" Rarity asked.

"Listen." Applejack said. They could hear screaming and growling from outside.

"That sounds like Mr. Bear!" Fluttershy said worried.

"We better check this out!" Twilight said as they rounded the house.

Two hours earlier

Capelli woke up covered in sweat. He had been having nightmares all night. All of them were about Hale. Capelli grumbled as he tossed and turned on the ground to find a comfortable position to fall back asleep but he lost the battle.

"Fuck this." He said as he finally got up. He heard his stomach growl as it begged for food. Capelli looked around in his backpack and pulled out a granola bar to eat. He quickly munched the snack down but it did little to satisfy his hunger. He pulled out his Wraith chain gun and walked to the door to the shuttle. His fingers on the trigger in case any of those bastards tried jumping him. Capelli moved out slowly and hit the deck. He then pulled out his Fareye and used it to inspect the area for any chimera. Coast was clear, Capelli felt his luck starting to turn. He was going to set up the shuttle as a camp site but first he had to cover it so no chimera passing by would see it. He went to some nearby trees and pulled out some large branches and put them around the shuttle. He also picked up some of the surrounding grass and dirt and covered the shuttle till every last inch of it was camouflaged. He then went inside to pick out the weapons he was going to carry with him as he hunted for some food. He could carry at most five weapons on him so he pulled out the Fareye for hunting. The Bullseye and his Wraith for protection, and the magnum as a sidearm. He then exited the shuttle once again and moved into the forest, breaking off branches on trees so he could find his way back to the shuttle. After walking for twenty minutes, he saw movement in the brush ahead. He got on his knees and pulled out the Fareye and looked down the scope. He saw a deer in the bush eating. Capeli was only fifteen feet away so there was no way he could miss! He smiled as he put his finger on the trigger while unintentionally stepping on a branch. Immediately the deer looked up and ran away. Capelli saw this and fired but the deer had already escape.

"Motherfucker!" Capelli said as he pursued the deer. He wasn't letting this quality meal get away! He used his enhanced speed to catch up with the deer. He saw it running towards a clearing. Capelli took aim while he was running and just as he was about to pull the trigger, he tripped and rolled down a hill and landed face first in mud. Capelli was enraged that his breakfast got away and that he had fallen so he banged his hands as hard as he could into the mud splattering it all over himself. He stopped when he looked up and saw buildings in the distance. He rubbed his eyes and looked closer, there were indeed buildings and what was better? They were still intact.

"A town totally untouched by chimera, what were the odds of that?" Capelli thought as he headed towards the town. He could get food and a way back to SRPA where he could have to explain why Nathan Hale was now nothing more than ashes in a box. As he moved forward he saw a cottage that appeared to built into a tree? Now that was a mindfuck but as long as there were no fuckin chimera anywhere Capelli was content. He went up to door and was about to knock when he heard growling behind him. He turned to see a large and very pissed off grizzly bear bearing its teeth at him. Capelli rolled out of the way just as the bear swung it's massive paw at the human. Capelli pulled out his Bullseye and fired at the beast. The heated particles enraging the beast as it burned away its skin. It roared as it charge Capelli and knocked him to the ground. Capelli screamed as he pulled out his knife and dove it into the bear's foot. The bear pulled back as Capelli picked up his Bullseye and began firing it at the bear.

XXX

The mane six exited the cottage to see a truly horrendous sight. A bipedal creature trying to kill Fluttershy's bear friend.

"NOOO!" Fluttershy yelled as she charged at full speed into the two legged creature that was hurting her bear. She tackled him to the ground and began relentlessly pounding him.

"You....big....dumb....MEANIE!" She screamed as she hit the creature with her hooves. She gasped when the creature grabbed her hooves and squeezed, hard. Capelli was confused, this horse had fucking wings? And it talked? It also attacked him on sight! This was definitely a new fuckin chimera! Capelli head butted the horse and wrapped his hands around its throat.

"This is for Hale you son of a bitch!" Capelli growled as he choked the creature.

"FLUTTERSHY!" A voice called out as Capelli felt a burning energy on his side and he was launched away. He hit the ground with a thud.

"Fluttershy! Are you okay?" Twilight asked as her horn stopped glowing. She and the other ponies ran to their pegasus friend who wasn't responding. Each of the ponies looked up with rage in their eyes.

"She isn't waking up!" Pinkie Pie responded,

"Now your gonna get it!" Rainbow Dash said as she snorted and kicked the ground.

"Well looks like you shit for brained dumbfucks learned how to talk!" Capelli said getting back up as he spit on the ground.

"What are you talkin bout? Applejack asked.

"Nevermind, you things still are shit for brained dumbfucks!" Capelli said as he noticed the pink horse crying over the unconscious yellow one. "Oh did I hurt your little fucking buddy? How does it feel Chimera? How does it feel to watch someone you care about die?"

"WHY YOU!" Rainbow Dash screamed as she fired out with tears of rage in her eyes. Capelli was ready this time and he side stepped and used his enhanced speed to kick her in the side. Rainbow got back up tackled him to the ground. Capelli grabbed her hooves and threw her off of him. Capelli felt something crash into his thigh as he looked down to see the orange pony had just kicked him!

"GET BACK YA VERMIN!" Applejack screamed as Capelli roared and went to beat the shit out of her. Capelli felt himself suddenly stopped as he saw something glowing around his body. He noticed there was much more resistance against him. He looked and saw the white and purple.... unicorns? Now the chimera were really trying to fuck with him!

"Come on Rarity!" Twilight cried as she tried to restrain the creature. This thing weighed more than a Ursa Minor!! How was it so heavy for its size?

"I'm trying Twilight but this brute is too heavy!" Rarity said as she struggled to restrain Capelli.

"Spike get the Princess quick!" Twilight cried to her dragon companion. Rainbow Dash saw Capelli immobilized and unleashed hell on him. She smashed her hooves into his face as fast and as hard as she could. Applejack saw this and followed suit.

"HOW DO YOU LIKE IT HUH?" Rainbow screamed in blind fury. "YOU STUPID BRAINLESS CREEP!"

"AH'LL TEACH YOU TO MESS WITH US!" Applejack yelled as she bucked Capelli as hard as he could. Now the human had had enough. Chimera were known to go into a rage mode if angered enough and since Capelli had chimeran cells within him, he was no exception. He broke free of the magical restraint and grabbed both Rainbow Dash and Applejack by the hoof. He repeatedly slammed both of them into the ground unmercifully till his vision was covered in pink.

"AHHH!" He yelled as he was blinded by Pinkie Pie who was holding her hooves over his eyes.

"Do you know what happens to bad ponies who hurt my friends?" She whispered into his ear in a creepily calm voice. "I get really really UPSET!" Pinkie yelled as she pounded her hooves onto his head. Capelli roared as he grabbed her off of the back of his head and held her up to his face. Pinkie was immediately scared of the creatures golden eyes. Capelli then brought his forehead to hers instantly knocking her out. He threw her next to Rainbow Dash and Applejack. Capelli saw the two unicorns frozen in absolute fear. The purple one fired bolts of energy at him which Capelli let hit him. Twilight felt her heart stop when she saw the wounds heal almost immediately. Her magic wasn't working on this creature. Twilight and Rarity had never been in a fight before so the had no idea what to do. Capelli lunged for Rarity and pulled her up by her mane. He then brought his fist to her stomach as a sickening crack was heard. Capelli dropped her as Rarity cried and held onto to her stomach trying to soothe her now broken ribs. Twilight was completely terrified! This thing had taken down all five of her friends in under five minutes! Her magic didn't seem to affect the creature either!

"Please Princess hurry!!!! Twilight cried as Capelli raised his boot and brought down on her head. Her world went black. After knocking out the six ponies, Capelli felt himself calm down. He dragged all the unconscious ponies to the white unicorn who was the only one still conscious but was in too much pain to notice what was going on. He pulled out his magnum and began putting rounds into it.

"You bastards! Fucking took EVERYTHING from us! Our home, our family, our humanity!" Capelli said as he finished loading the magnum and aimed at the pile of ponies. "Now its time, TO TAKE IT ALL BACK

Author's Note

Damn you dont fuck with Capelli. Let me know what you guys think! R&R!

The Calvary has Arrived

"Now its time, TO TAKE IT ALL BACK!" Capelli screamed as he pulled the trigger only to find the there was no bullet hole in any of the ponies. He then saw a blue forcefield much like the kind the Auger's produced covering the six ponies.

"Must be a Steelhead nearby. Never though Chimera actually cared about other Chimera enough to help them." Capelli thought as he pulled out his Bullseys. He was suddenly blinding by a bright light that caused him to cover his eyes. He looked up to see a figure floating high up in the air. Capelli assumed it to be a chimeran angel and open fired. The bullets seemed only to deflect off the figure's shielding. Capelli stopped firing in order to conserve ammo. The new creature landed and the light subsides. Capelli saw it was a white horse with wings and a horn! Also descending from the sky were dozens of ponies with spears and swords.

"Tell me this is a fuckin joke!" Capelli said.

"TWILIGHT!" The large white pegasus-unicorn thing shouted as it ran over to the pile of unconscious ponies. It seemed to be greatly saddened by the sight of the injured ponies. After crying into the body's shoulders, it looked up with hate in its eyes.

"You dare? YOU DARE? The white pony screamed as she fired bursts of powerful energy at Capelli. He quickly stepped aside as the blast blew a hole nearly twenty feet in diameter behind him.

"SHIT!" Capelli said upon seeing the destructive power.

"You come into MY kingdom and dare attack my little ponies?!" It screamed as it charged up another blast. "There can be no punishment too great for such evil!"

"I'm evil? You got some serious fuckin sacs to say that!" Capelli retorted. The giant white pony seemed angered but also confused. "You fuckin wiped out my entire fuckin planet!! For that I will kill all of you!" Capelli screamed as he pulled out his Wraith.

"SEIZE HIM!" The pony cried as she and her guards converged on Capelli. Capelli open fired with his Wraith bringing down all the guards in seconds, somehow nopony had been killed, leaving the white pony by herself. Capelli focused his fire on her but she used shields to block the bullets. She charged up a magic beam as Capelli activated the Wraith's portable shield generator creating a green forcefield in front of him. The blast of magic fired at him as the forcefield absorbed the hit, it didn't do much as it was obliterated right away and fired right into Capelli. The white pony was appalled to see it still standing but what scared her more was the fact the creature's body had already begun healing. In thirty seconds, all his wounds had been healed.

"But how? That blast should have completely immobilized you! The white pony said both scared and impressed.

"Magic!" Capelli said pulling out his knife. "I'll have to kill you the hard way, just the way I like it!"

"So be it." The white pony said as she released a spell that healed the wounds of all her wounded soldiers and the mane six. The guards got back up all eager to take revenge on the creature that had wounded them and attacked their princess.

"WHY YOU!" A revived Rainbow Dash screamed as she prepared to attack again but Applejack grabbed her by the tail before she could take off.

"No Rainbow don't he is too strong!" Twilight cried.

"But I can't just let him push us around like that!" Rainbow cried.

"She's right Rainbow, we have to let the Princess deal with this." Applejack said still holding onto Rainbow's tail.

"OH fine!" Rainbow said as she floated down.

"Twilight." Celestia said hugging her student. "I'm so glad to see you are okay!"

"How do we stop him princess?" Twilight asked.

"On my mark unleash the elements." Celestia said as she turned around to face the creature.

XXX

Princess Celestia focused on the bipedal creature in front of her. She had never, in her one thousand plus years of life, ever seen anything like it. It was obvious that this thing was out for blood so she had to stop it. The creature lunged at her with his knife with the intent of slicing her neck open. Celestia stepped aside as the creature lunged past her but its knife had nicked her neck and she felt a small trickle of blood. Now Celestia was nervous, Nopony or nothing for that matter had made her bleed in over a thousand years. She felt something odd about this creature, she sensed two beings inside it's body. She could feel the evil and savage part but she could also feel a more good part in the creature. Maybe if she reached out to the good in it, it could be peaceful.

"Creature perhaps we can make amends!" Celestia called to the bipedal who tightly gripped its knife.

"Not in a million fuckin years!" The bipedal screamed as he lunged at Celestia again with the knife. Celestia was able to use her magic to take the knife out of the creature's hand. Celestia felt something grab her by the horn and neck. She began to choke as she realized the creature was strangling her. She thrashed and jumped as hard and as much as she could but the creature would not budge. Celestia could believe the strength of this bipedal. Celestia fired up her magic and used it to restrain the creature. For a being who used their magic to lift the sun up the human was no challenge for her but Celestia found the creature to be much heavier than she anticipated. The creature thrashed around trying to free himself of the restraints. Celestia walked over to restrained creature and looked it in the eye.

"Creature, I know there is too entities within you, I can feel them. I know there is an evil within you and I can help you." Celestia said calmly.

"Yeah and then blow me away in one of those blasts!" It retorted as it growled.

"I ask that you forgive me, I normally am not so angered. It's just when I saw my little ponies hurt I just felt so angry." Celestia said. "I'm going to let you down now, do you promise not to run away or attack anypony?"

"You have my word." The creature responded. Celestia lowered her spell and freed the creature. Once it was free it picked up its weapon and held it to her.

XXXX

Capelli felt the resistance against his body loosen. Was this chimera really going to let him go? Capelli didn't think so and he knew what Chimera did to their prisoners. The moment Capelli was free he reached for his magnum and pulled it out and pointed it at the white pony.

"But you gave me your word you wouldn't attack anypony!" The white pony yelled angry at Capelli's assumed betrayal.

"And I intend to keep it." Capelli said as he turned the weapon on himself. "I know what you do to your prisoners and I will not turn into one of you six-eyed fucks!"

Some Fates are Worse than Death

Celestia watched as the creature aimed its weapon towards its head. Celestia processed the words the bipedal said to her and she realized what he was going to do.

"NO!" Celestia screamed. She could sense the good in this creature, she also sensed the unspeakable terror it was fighting against. She wanted to help it. Suddenly the sky lit up with a bright light and blinded Celestia. She saw a familiar rainbow beam shooting towards the creature. The beam circled it as it screamed out in shock.

"TWILIGHT STOP!" Celestia called to her personal student who had, along with her friends, activated the legendary elements of harmony upon the creature. Twilight heard the cry of her mentor and immediately stopped the blast. She and her friends levitated back to the ground.

"Princess! Did we hit you by accident?" Twilight asked concerned that she had wounded her beloved teacher.

"No, I am alright." Celestia said as she started walking towards the unconscious form of the creature.

"Did we hit somepony else?" Twilight asked.

"No." Celestia said leaning over the creature's body.

"Then what did we hit?" Twilight asked as Celestia levitated the creature with her magic.

"Him." Celestia said.

"But thats what we were trying to do!" Rainbow Dash yelled.

"Rainbow Dash!" TWilight scolded her friend for raising her voice to the Princess.

"Sorry, but why wouldn't you want us to hit him? He tried to kill all of us?" Rainbow asked confused.

"I have sensed something horrifying within him, but I also sense the good. I want to help him." Celestia said.

"What do you mean?" Pinkie asked getting very close to Celestia's face.

"It's odd, its almost like their are two entities within his one body. The two minds are fighting for control over his one body. I want to help him rid the evil inside of him." Celestia said.

"But why?" Rainbow asked still angry at the creature for harming her and her friends.

"Because, my sister also had the same problem as well." Celestia said.

"Um, princess, how did you know it was a he?" Fluttershy asked. Celestia felt her cheeks burn as she pointed her hoof towards the bipedal's body. His clothes had burned away in the blast exposing himself to the world.

"I say that is the biggest-" Rarity began to say as Pinkie covered her mouth.

"Rarity!! Not in front of the kids!" Pinkie said leaving everyponies minds officially fucked.

"I will bring him to Canterlot where I will question him when he awakes. I advise you girls come too." Celestia said as she fired she levitated the creature on a carriage and called over her guards to pull him to Canterlot. They were not enthusiastic about it to say the least but they did as their Princess ordered. The guards took no care in being gentle as the flew away with the creature.

"Come along my little ponies." Celestia said as the mane six boarded another carriage headed for Canterlot.

"What about these things?" Applejack said holding up one of the creature's weapons.

"Bring them too but keep them away from him." Celestia ordered as the weapons were rounded up and brought on board.

XXXXX

The first thing Capelli noticed was that he was on the ground.

"Ahh fuck!" He said rubbing his head. He saw that he was no longer wearing his wool cap. He then saw his shirt was gone as well. He gulped as he looked down to see he was completely naked.

"AHH!" He yelled as he covered his genitalia. He looked around for something, anything to cover himself with. He walked over to cot that was next to him and took the sheet. The sheet was pretty damn small so Capelli wrapped it around his waist.

"Doesn't look like any conversion center I've ever been to." Capelli said as he examined his surroundings. He noticed how ridicoulously small the cell was. He had to crouch down to fit. The cot was very small as well, only a midget could have fit in here but that didn't matter right now. What mattered was getting the fuck outta here. As Capelli tried to figure out how to escape, he also wondered about these new chimera. They could talk, they had very limited technology, and they showed compassion. All three of those qualities eliminated them from being Chimera but Capelli remembered the yellow horse attacking him on sight when he was fighting the bear. Wait, could he possibly not be on Earth anymore? Sure there were strange creatures here but Earth was chock full of crazy fuckin chimera species. Even if he was somehow on a different planet, how the hell would he have gotten there? He deduced that maybe these weren't chimera after all but Capelli wasn't going to let his guard down. Capelli heard a door creak open and he jumped back and looked for anything to use as a weapon. Even a shard of glass or a sharp rock would do and there wasn't even that! Capelli heard footsteps as the chimera got closer. He decided he was just gonna have to beat the chimera in a fight and take whatever weapon it had.

"You prisoner, come with us." A voice said. Capelli looked up to see a white unicorn with a blue mane talking to him.

"No." Capelli said.

"I said come with us!" The unicorn ordered.

"Or what? You think I'm fucking scared of you? Your a fuckin overgrown fairy tale." Capelli growled.

"You are not gonna make this easy for me are you?" The unicorn asked trying to hold back its anger at the insult.

"Fuck you." Capelli said.

"Thats it!" The unicorn said as its horn glowed. Capelli felt the same resistance on his body as he did earlier, he felt himself getting levitated.

"MMMPPH!" The unicorn grunted. "How much do you weigh?" It said as it dropped Capelli to the ground. The unicorn left leaving Capelli feeling victorious until it walked back in with twenty more unicorns.

"Ah shit." Capelli said as their horns began to glow.

XXXXX

Applejack trotted up and down the throne room as she anxiously waited for the creature to be brought out. Around her neck was the element of honesty in case the creature needed to be subdued again.

"I can't believe it!" Twilight said. "A being from another world!"

"Yeah a jerky being too." Rainbow Dash said.

"Don't worry Dashie! I bet it was all just a misunderstanding!" PInkie said hopping around.

"Where is the brute at?" Rarity asked impatient. A screaming noise followed by the grunting of multiple ponies answered her question.

"Um I think thats him." Fluttershy said as the doors opened. All guards in the room immediately readied their spears and weapons as the creature glowed in a purple aura thrashing trying to get free. The ponies in the room where impressed to see it took so many unicorns to restrain him. They managed to put cuffs on his legs and hands in the midst of this thrashing. The unicorn's horns stopped glowing and they let the bipedal creature hit the ground with a smack.

"Assholes." Capelli muttered as he stood up with his hands and feet restrained. Everypony got a good luck at how built Capelli really was. Each muscle rippled underneath his skin as he moved. He had short black hair and for the first time they noticed a long scar going down his face.

"Woah that thing is huge!" Applejack said admiring his muscular build. Even Rainbow Dash couldn't help but stare at the perfectly sculpted tower of muscle in front of her.

"Tell me I'm not in fuckin Middle-Earth right now!" Capelli said referring to one of the few books he ever read.

"Creature, who are you, where do you come from and why are you here?" Celestia asked. Capelli remembered this as the white pony who attacked him earlier. Well one thing was for sure, she wasn't getting shit out of him.

"Capelli, J Joseph. Corporal. 12\10\1919. 540398999." Capelli said giving his name, rank, date of birth, and serial number.

"What?" Celestia asked.

"Capelli, Joseph. Corporal. 12\10\1919. 540398999." Capelli said again.

"I do not understand what you are saying, would you care to elaborate?" Celestia asked. Capelli didn't talk.

"Allow me to introduce myself." Celestia said. "I am Princess Celestia, Co-ruler of Equestria."

"Equestria? Ha good one." Capelli said catching the pun. "Wait did you say Equestria?"

"Yes I did." Celestia said happy that she was finally getting somewhere.

"Where the hell is that on planet Earth?" Capelli asked. "Where are the fuckin Chimera?"

"I do not know of any 'Planet Earth'. Who are these Chimera you speak of?" Celestia asked.

"Either that fuckin virus really got to my head or I just fucked the laws of physics!" Capelli thought. How could that chimeran shuttle have been blown across the galaxy or even dimension to another fucking world?

"Creature?" Celestia asked.

"My name, is Corporal Joseph Capelli." Capelli said.

"Corporal Joseph Capelli? What kind of a name is that?" Rainbow Dash said. Capelli turned around to meet her gaze, boy if looks could kill.

"Corpo-"

"Just call me Capelli." Capelli said not wanting to hear Corporal Joseph Capelli every time someone tried to talking to him.

"Very well Capelli. You have not yet answered my question, What are you, where do you come from, and why are you here?" Celestia asked.

"I'm not talking." Capelli said.

"But we told you what you wanted to know! NOW TELL US!" Rainbow Dash growled getting up close to the human.

"Uh Rainbow ah don't think thats a good idea, remember what happened last time?" Applejack said pulling her friend back.

"I'm watching you!" Rainbow Dash said as she flew away. Capelli wanted to laugh at the fact he was being threatened by a fuckin mulitcolored pony.

"Creature if you do not comply I will be forced to view your memories." Celestia said.

"Bullshit, how ya gonna do that? Magic?" Capelli asked.

"That's precisely what I'm gonna do." Celestia said as he horn began to glow. Capelli realized she wasn't joking, the unicorns here were indeed capable of magic. How? He had no idea. Capelli decided it was better if he told them a lie instead of the giant pony seeing the whole truth.

"I guess there is no point in staying quiet." Capelli said. "I am a human from planet Earth. Don't know how i got here, there was a big boom and I woke up in that shitty forest."

"There has got to be more to it than that." Celestia said as she infiltrated his mind. "Creature can you hear me?"

What the fuck? How are you? What are you?

"I am talking to you telepathically."

"Get the fuck outta my head you bitch!"

"Not until I get what I need to hear. Mr. Capelli, I can sense two entities within you. I know one is evil but I know you are the good one. I just want to help you so please just tell me what is going on!" Shit, she knew about the chimera within him. There was no hiding anything now.

"If I show you, do you promise not to tell anybody else? Capelli asked looking at the other ponies.

"Why wouldn't I be able to?" Celestia asked.

"Why do you have to fuckin question everything I do? I have my reasons not do you agree or not. Don't even think about trying to go in without my permission or I will use the other guy in here to fuck you up." Capelli said threatening to unleash the Chimera within him. Celestia was confused, what could be so important that nopony else could know about. Sure she could just view his memories without his permission but she did not want to see who 'the other guy' Capelli mentioned was.

""Fine, you have my word as Princess."

"Was that so fuckin hard? I should warn you though, what you are about to see is a fuckin nightmare worse than anything you have ever seen." Capelli said. Celestia found herself standing next to Capelli as they entered his subconscious.

"Wait, why the fuck am I here too?" Capelli asked.

"I need a guide so I don't go in the wrong place, you wouldn't want me snooping around would you?" Celestia asked.

"Neverfuckin mind." Capelli said as they viewed his birth and his abusive early life with his alcoholic father who would beat him occasionally. Celestia gasped as she watched Capelli's father beat him.

"Heh, you think thats bad." Capelli said as the view moved onto him joining the military. Celestia saw as he got into many fights and how disrespectful he was to senior officers.

"I can see you have no problem voicing your opinion." Celestia commented noting Capelli's horrible profanity. They were cut off as Capelli fell to his knees and clutched his head. Celestia heard a roar and saw the most horrid thing she had ever seen! It stood much taller than her, its very presence screamed terror and evil. It growled and roared as it disappeared again.

"WHAT WAS THAT!?!" Celestia asked petrified.

"The other guy." Capelli said.

"What!?! THAT is the other being in your mind?" Celestia asked.

"Yeah don't fuckin remind me." Capelli said. "Here are the memories you need to see." Celestia watched as Capelli was strapped down to a chair. She saw a syringe with a gold liquid being attached to his arm. The syringe read 'Project Abraham'. Celestia saw Capelli scream as the liquid was injected. She saw him break free and attack the doctors in a fit of rage. She saw him getting whacked in the face with a crowbar. Now she knew where he got that scar.

Nothing could have prepared her for what she saw next. She saw burning buildings with air raid sirens going off. She saw hundreds of humans running for the lives as soldiers tried to stop the advancing threat. She saw large airborne battleships unleashing hell upon cities.

She giant spires fly through the sky and hit the ground, releasing thousands of little bugs. The little bugs crawled onto the retreating humans and entered through their mouth and noses.

Celestia finally saw the enemy. A large bipedal monster with six eyes and sharp fangs. It slashed open the neck of an attacking human soldier.

Then Celestia saw the dark alleyways where more of the monsters appeared out of cocoons and ripped any human nearby to shreds. She saw squads of soldiers killing themselves as the spires carrying the bugs landed near them.

"Why are they killing themselves?" Celestia asked traumatized.

"Because some fates are worse than death." Capelli said as the memory continued. She saw the humans being put into cocoons an turned into the monsters. She could not imagine a more foul and horrible fate. She eventually decided she had seen enough and she left Capelli's subconscious. She passed out and fell to her knees, the sheer genuine look of terror still embedded in her eyes. She backed away and whimpered to herself.

"PRINCESS!" Twilight cried.

"What did you do to her?" Rainbow asked as the guards all aimed their spears at Capelli.

"STOP!" Celestia cried. "He did no harm to me."

"But you look so scared!" Pinkie said. Celestia was about to speak when she remembered her promise.

"Looking into another mind is an exhausting process-"

"AWAY FROM OUR SISTER YE FOUL DEMON!!" A boomin voice shouted as a ball of magic hit Capelli in the back sending him to the ground. He looked up and saw another pony with wings and a horn only this one was blue.

"You bitch!" Capelli said using his super strength to break the chains binding his hands and feet.

Judgement

Capelli got back to his feet as the he looked up and saw another pony with wings and a horn. It looked like the the Princess he was just talking to only this one was smaller and was a dark blue. It began to charge up another beam from its horn as Capelli braced himself. The energy fired at Capelli who moved to the side as the blast destroyed a bust that was behind him.

"LUNA STOP!" Celestia yelled at the blue one but it didn't listen as it charged down at Capelli with it's horn intent on stabbing him. Capelli brought out his hands and caught the pony by the neck before it could impale him. Capelli then threw the pony off of him and onto the ground. Guards had begun to flood into the throne room intent on protecting their princesses. Capelli walked over to the pony that he had just thrown to the ground and placed one foot on its chest and began pushing. The pony cried out in pain as Capelli wound up his fist and slammed it into the ponies head breaking its muzzle and spraying blood everywhere. Capelli felt a sharp object tear through his skin as took his foot of the ponies chest. He turned around enraged as the wound began to heal to see that a guard had just fired spear at him. Had he been a normal human the spear would of killed him but Capelli was no mere human. He brought his hand up and caught the spear just before it gouged through his eye.

"BE STILL!" Celestia screamed as the entire crowd went quiet. Both Capelli and the guards froze in their place. The blue pony Capelli had just finished fighting wheezed as blood poured from her muzzle. Half of the guards ran to tend to their wounded princess while the other half surrounded Capelli who merely snorted. Rainbow Dash was about to open her mouth before Capelli stopped her.

"Don't even start, she attacked ME first." Capelli said as Applejack closed Rainbow's mouth to avoid Capelli getting angry.

"SISTER!" Celestia screamed as he ran to her sister.

"Sister? Aw shit!" Capelli thought as he realized he had just beat the shit out of royalty. Capelli expected Celestia to turn all weapons on him and to kill him so he got into a defensive position.

"Joseph Capelli." Celestia said in a low angry voice as she walked up to him. The rage was visible in her eyes. She wanted so bad to imprison him for harming her sister but then she remembered all that this man had gone through. "First you attacked the elements of harmony, then you attacked me, and now you have attacked my sister." All the ponies in the room eagerly awaited for Celestia to order Capelli's imprisonment. "Normally such actions would earn a life in the dungeons but-" All the ponies gasped. "This is not a normal situation."

"WHAT?" Rainbow Dash screamed in protest. She was ready to fly up to Capelli till her friends stopped her.

"Rainbow I don't think you should do that." Fluttershy said.

"Why not? All this thing has done is hurt ponies!" Rainbow retorted.

"Do you remember what happened last time?" Rarity asked shivering at the memory.

"I assure you my little ponies this will be the last of Mr. Capelli's episodes." Celestia said looking at Capelli. "Am I clear?"

"Crystal." Capelli said deciding it would be best not to piss off the ponies even though all three times he was attacked first.

"Thank you. Twilight? May I see you and your friends in private?" Celestia asked then turning to the guards. "Make sure our guest doesn't try anything funny and please tend to my sister." The guards obeyed and surrounded Capelli who shot Celestia a look worried she was going to break her promise.

"I will uphold my promise Mr. Capelli, I won't reveal what you showed me." Celestia said reassuring Capelli.

"Just checkin." Capelli replied as Celestia and the elements entered a private room.

"Alright I am sure you all are not fond of Mr. Capelli." Celestia said.

"You got that right!" Rainbow said angrily.

"Princess I know it is wrong to judge somepony but how could you not lock him up? He is so dangerous!" Twilight pleaded.

"I assure you my faithful student, he has gone through so much." Celestia said.

"But he attacked us, then you, then Princess Luna!" Applejack said.

"He was only fighting in self defense. After all, I did attack him first." Celestia said. "My sister's actions were rather brash as well."

"Well come to think of it, I did kinda um........hit him first too." Fluttershy muttered.

"You attacked him first?" Celestia asked surprised. She knew Fluttershy to be gentle. If anything she expected Rainbow Dash or Applejack to strike first.

"Oh no not on purpose!" Fluttershy said. "I just saw he was hurting Mr. Bear so I ran out and stopped him. Although, Mr. Bear also attacked him first too."

"Well ah guess we were hard on the poor guy." Applejack said feeling a little sorry for Capelli.

"Too hard? PFFFF!" Rainbow said.

"I do agree with Rainbow, he almost killed Fluttershy!" Rarity said.

"I don't trust him either." Twilight said. "I do have a question though, he kept referring to us as 'chimera'."

"Alright I am going to tell you everything I knew about him." Celestia said trying to figure out how not to tell too much. "He is a human from a planet called 'Earth'. He was at fighting a enemy called 'Chimera' and he must have mistaken it with you."

"Why were they fighting?" Fluttershy asked.

"I don't know but I like the sound of these Chimera." Rainbow said delighted at the thought of Capelli getting beaten.

"Listen, I know he is rough around the edges but I promise you he is a good man." Celestia said. "I know we can make him a better pon-er human."

"How are we going to do that?" Rarity asked.

"I think you already know the answer to that." Celestia said smiling. Earning a groan from all five of the mares- Wait only five?

"Um girls?" Fluttershy began to say.

"What Fluttershy?" Twilight asked.

"Where is Pinkie?" Everypony in the room froze.

"Oh no."

XXXX

Capelli stood still as every guard in the room watched him. He was hoping Celestia was revealing too much info. She had not even seen the worst of it, she did not see when he had to kill his first and only friend, she did not see him killing Nathan Hale. Capelli's thoughts were interrupted by a bright white smile in his face.

"WOAH!" He screamed causing the guards to aim their spears at him.

"Hi!! I'm Pinkie Pie! Remember? You beat me and my friends up when you came from another dimension battling an enemy race and your ship malfunctioned and you ended up here and now that means you are going to live here and HUHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Pinkie said as she darted away faster then the eye could see.

"What the fuck?" Capelli said traumatized. She was like a fricken Slipskull they way she bounced off the walls. Fuck she was weird. The doors opened and Capelli saw six ponies coming out.

"Where is Pinkie Pie? Twilight asked.

"Right here you silly filly!" Pinkie said popping up behind her friend.

"I hate this place." Capelli said under his breath. After everypony released a sigh of relief Celestia spoke up.

"Joseph Capelli, it has been decided that you shall reside in Ponyville with these six." Celestia said much to Capelli's shock. He had just beaten the shit out of these six only a day ago!

"For?" Capelli asked.

"To learn the power of friendship." Celestia said. Capelli's face turned to a scowl. His last friend he had to shoot in the head.

"You shall reside with each of the elements of harmony, Honesty, Loyalty, Generosity, Laughter, Kindness, and Magic. When you have learned all six values you will be free." Celestia said. Capelli nodded as Celestia contacted him in his mind.

"Free of what excatly?" Capelli asked.

"You know what I mean." Celestia replied.

Me learning how to fuckin share and care isn't gonna kill this thing only the inhibitors can-" Capelli said before realization dawned on him. He only had six vials of inhibitors with him meaning,,,,,

He only had three months left to live.

Revelations

"Princess we need to talk." Capelli said. "Privately." Celestia nodded and formed a silence bubble around them and they began to talk.

"What is wrong?" Celestia asked noting the worry in his voice.

"Remember how I had that thing inside of me?" Capelli said.

"Yes." Celestia replied.

"It's worse than you think. I am not entirely human, I am part Chimera." Capelli said.

"But how?" Celestia asked confused.

"Remember when you saw those scientists putting that yellow shit in me? Well, that was the chimeran virus."

"Chimeran virus?" Celestia asked.

"It's what turns humans into chimera, remember how you saw those crawlers going into humans? They were infecting them." Capelli said.

"But why would they ever do such a thing?" Celestia asked.

"Chimera are stronger, faster, and tougher than even the strongest humans. We were getting our asses kicked so we needed something to fight back. Many other people and I signed up for Project Abraham. We were infused with the chimeran virus which gave us the abilities of the Chimera." Capelli said.

"How did you stop from turning into them?" Celestia asked.

"That is what I wanted to talk about." Capelli said. "Viral inhibitors were created to preserve our human self."

"So that stopped it?" Celestia asked.

"No, there is no cure or vaccination for the virus. The inhibitors only slow down and stall the conversion process." Capelli said.

"What are you trying to say?" Celestia said panicking.

"In three months, I will become one of them." Capelli said sadly.

"I'm so sorry." Celestia said. "I swear to you I will do everything in my power to find a cure."

"You don't get it do you?" Capelli said. "We researched the chimera for forty fuckin years and the top scientists could not stop the virus!"

"That is where you are wrong." Celestia said. "These Chimera are the very essence of disharmony and chaos. I believe we could destroy it using the power of harmony."

"Is that some kind of fuckin joke? You think after thousands of failed chemicals and vaccines fucking friends are gonna cure me?" Capelli said almost laughing.

"Well what do you suppose we do?" Celestia asked.

"Kill me."

"Excuse me?" Celestia said shocked.

"Trust me, if i become a chimera, this whole planet is fucked." Capelli said. "Humanity was way more advanced they you and the chimera beat us in only thirty years."

"Wait you mean you didn't defeat them?!" Celestia shouted.

"HA! Are you kidding me? We've already fuckin lost for all I know." Capelli snorted then in a more gentle tone said. "I don't want these damn chimera killing anything else."

"Mr. Capelli, I promise you the elements of harmony WILL work." Celestia said. "You just have to gain their friendship first, and then you must learn and practice the values of Loyalty, Generosity, Laughter, Kindness, and Honesty, only then will the Magic of these values cleanse you of the beast within."

"I hope you realized how retarded that sounds." Capelli said. "But at this point, I'll try anything that kills this fuckin thing in my head."

"I will not fail you." Celestia said.

"Thats another thing, why are you helping me?" Capelli said.

"Because you remind me of my sister." Celestia said. "Long ago, my sister had an evil within her as well that turned her into a monster and I was forced to banish her. After that, I swore never to make the same mistake."

"Well whatever she had i assure this is way worse." Capelli said. "Alright, how do i befriend these elements?"

"What do you mean?" Celestia asked.

"In case you don't remember, I beat the living shit out of them. I don't think they'd be too keen on liking me."

"Twilight Sparkle is my personal student, she will find it in her heart to forgive you." Celestia said.

"I hope you know what you are doing Princess." Capelli said.

"So do I." Celestia said as the silence bubble vanished from around them.

"PRINCESS! Did he hurt you!?!" Twilight screamed.

"No he did not but I do need you to help him." Celestia said. "Bring him to Ponyville and teach him the magic of friendship."

"But!" Twilight began to say.

"Twilight, do you remember when you first went to Ponyville?" Celestia asked.

"Yeah." Twilight responded.

"What was your mindset?" Celestia asked.

"I didn't think friends were such a big deal but now." Twilight said looking to her friends and smiling. "I see I can't be complete without them."

"Mr. Capelli has a similar mindset to yours." Celestia said. "I know if anypony can change him, it is you and your wonderful friends."

"If you say so Princess." Twilight said smiling. She gulped as Capelli walked over.

"I know you have had a rather negative experience in the past." Celestia said as she presented Capelli to the mane six. "Do you have anything to say?"

"Yeah, its your fuckin fault I got in trouble since you attacked ME first!" Capelli thought.

"Well?" Celestia asked.

"Yeah, uh sorry." Capelli said. Celestia shot him a glare.

"I'm really sorry I hurt you can you forgive me." Capelli said without emotion.

"Yes, we forgive you." Twilight said with a forced look of happiness. Capelli looked back to the Princess.

"Can I get my guns back?" Capelli asked already knowing the answer.

"No." Celestia said. "However, as you learn the values of friendship, I will return them to you one by one." Capelli nodded knowing he had more weapons in the shuttle anyway. He and six mares began to leave and headed towards the door.

"Oh and Twilight!?" Celestia called out.

"Yes?" The unicorn responded.

"I don't mean to pressure you but you have three months to reform him!" Celestia said. Twilight nodded as she turned to leave.

XXXX

As they left the castle and headed towards the train station. Capelli stayed quiet as he listened in on the mares using his super hearing. The purple unicorn known as Twilight seemed to be a kiss-ass to the Princess, she was also a freakin genius but she didn't look too tough. Capelli decided that she talked way too much. The yellow pegasus named Fluttershy had not even said a word so he had a tough time reading her but Capelli knew shyness when he saw it. Funny, she didn't seem so shy when she tackled him to the ground. He could tell that the white unicorn and the rainbow pegasus did not like him one bit. Not that he cared since one was a prissy cunt and the other was a dykey bitch. The orange pony named Applejack seemed more scared of him than really angry at him. Capelli figured she would be the easiest to befriend. The pink pony named Pinkie Pie, oh dear lord she talked even more than Twilight. She was bouncing and singing and smiling and wouldn't shut the fuck up! Capelli's thoughts were suddenly interrupted found himself embraced by pink legs.

"WEREGONNABETHEBESTESTFRIENDSEVER! INEVERHADANALIENFRIENDBEFORETHISISSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOEXCITING!!!" Pinkie began ranting.

"Suddenly, turning into a Chimera doesn't sound so bad anymore." Capelli thought as they boarded the train. Capelli went to the back of the cart away from the mares and tried to find some sleep.

The Train Ride

5000 Miles from Canterlot.

A smoldering wreckage lie burning in the crater it created. It was sleek and silver and burning hot. Many animals had fled at its impact but a few of the braver and larger ones decided to investigate. A beast with a lion's head and scorpion's tail walked up to the wreck. It eyed it curiously as it put one of its paws on the surface. A sickening hiss was heard as the beast roared and pulled its paw back which was now covered in third-degree burns. It growled as it heard a clinking sound from within it. It gave out a roar as other members of its pack surrounded it. In total, nine of the beasts known as manticores surrounded the wreck. The alpha tensing its muscles as the clanging became louder. Then suddenly it stopped, the manticores all looked in confusion as the alpha manticore moved forward to investigate. A loud bang was heard and a piece of the wreck was blown off. As the creatures stared into the darkness, a concentrated beam of fiery plasma flew through the air and nailed the alpha manticore and incinerated it's cranium. The other manticores roared upon seeing their leader dead. They looked up and saw a bipedal creature exiting the wreckage.

It had six eyes.

XXXXX

The train ride was mostly uneventful aside from Pinkie breaking out in song about something. Annoyed, Capelli went into the empty car behind them so he could be alone. This gave Capelli time to think. He was an asshole, he knew that. He never got a long with anybody except maybe Hale towards the end of his life. How the hell was he supposed to earn the friendship of these six ponies who shouldn't even exist? His thoughts came to an end as the train came to a stop and Twilight went up to him.

"Excuse Mr. Capellli?" Twilight asked.

"Drop the 'Mr' shit please." Capelli said.

"Alright well what should I call you then?" Twilight asked. "It seems rude to just call someone by their last name."

"Just call me Joe, thats my first name." Capelli said.

"Anyway Joe. The ponies here don't yet know of your existence and you could probably imagine their reaction when they see an alien walking around."

"I know all to well." Capelli said remembering people running in terror from the Chimera.

"Ok well I'm going to cast a spell on you that makes you look like a pony." Twilight said.

"Oh no you are NOT turning me into a pony." Capelli growled.

"It won't turn you INTO a pony, its just an illusion spell that makes it look like you are one. You'll still be human." Twilight said.

"FIne." Capelli said as Twilights horn lit up. Capelli felt a bright aura surround his body as the spell was cast. When it was done Capelli looked down to see he was still human.

"Uh it didnt work genuis." Capellli said. Twilight had found herself staring at Capelli's pony form. He was so muscular and hot. Now that she thought about it, Capelli wasn't exactly ugly in his human form. Her fantasies were crushed when she realized it was the rude Capelli she was looking at.

"Ugh Purple?" Capelli said getting a little creeped out by the way Twilight was looking at him.

"Hey Twilig - Where did that Capellli guy go?" Rainbow said as she entered the train car and walker over and looked at Capelli. "Who the hay is that?"

"Thats him Rainbow." Twilight said. Rainbow too fell under trance from looking at Capelli. She felt her wings start to stiffen but with massive self control she avoided it.

"What?!" Rainbow and Capelli said at the same time. Upon realizing it was that jerk she immediately lost all attraction.

"You turned him into a pony?" Rainbow asked.

"No no no! Listen, I cast an illusion spell so nopony will freak out if they see him. He is still human but he only appears human to himself." Twilight explained. Capelli looked into his reflection on one of the mirrors hanging in the train cart. He was a large earth pony that was heavily muscled. He had a silver coat with numerous scars going across his body. He had a short brown mane and golden eyes.

"Not bad." Capelli said. He did have to admit he looked badass as a pony.

"WHO IS THAT!?" Rarity shouted upon entering the cart Twilight and Capelli were in. She saw a large muscular stallion inside and her instincts took over.

"Um Rarity?" Twilight said.

"Oh where are my manners?" Rarity said clearing her throat. "My name is Rarity, may i have your name darling?"

"Rar-" Twilight tried to say.

"Capelli." Capelli said in a low voice.

"Pardon?" Rarity said not believing what she heard.

"It's me." Capelli said spitting on the ground. Rarity gagged upon seeing him spit.

"Let me explain this." Twilight said as she explained to Rarity what happened. Rarity was quite disappointed to hear that the rude, brutish, mean, and aggressive Capelli was also the strong, handsome, and hot pony.

"Well as rude as he is, I will say is very handsome as a pony." Rarity said cooing. Capelli heard this and almost gagged.

"Great! Now the white one wants to fuck me." Capelli thought as they prepared to leave the train. As the ponies and Capelli walked out, he saw Fluttershy and Applejack staring at him.

"Woowee!" AJ said taking off her hat and fanning her face. "You sure are some eye candy arencha?"

""God, if you are there kill me now." Capelli thought. As creepy as Applejack's comment was, nothing could have prepared him for Fluttershy's reaction. Her cheeks burning a bright red as her wings began to rise and stiffen. Capelli saw Rainbow Dash snickering at Fluttershy's reaction. Capelli put two and two together and realized what stiff wings was an equivalent to.

Needless to say, in that moment. Capelli actually missed the Chimera.

"Uh AJ? Shy? That's Capelli." Rainbow whispered to the two mares. AJ and Fluttershy immediately felt the color drain from their face. AJ used her hat to cover her face and Fluttershy used her wings to cover hers.

"So um Joe, where will you be staying?" Twilight asked.

"My ship." Capelli said.

"What?" Twilight said.

"You heard me." Capelli responded.

"B-but thats all the way in the-" Twilight gulped. "The Everfree Forest!"

"And?" Capelli asked.

"Its the Everfree Forest!" AJ said still embarrassed from earlier. "The plants grow!"

"The animals take care of themselves!" Fluttershy added. Her concern for Capelli overcoming her embarrasment.

"And weather moves!" Rainbow added.

"ALL ON THEIR OWN!" The trio said at the same time.

"Oooooooohhhh!" Capelli said shaking his hands acting like he was scared.

"Its not only that." Rarity said.

"What do you mean?" Capelli asked.

"There are horrible and dreadful creatures in there!" Rarity said dramatically.

"Manticores, Ursas, Cockatrice, Timberwolves!" Twilight added.

"Oh please, the things in that forest are fuckin pussies compared to what I was fighting before!" Capelli said referring to the Chimera.

"HI GIRLS!" Pinkie said appearing on Capelli's back.

"AH!" He yelped as she jumped off. "How did you-"

"Don't ask, trust me." Twilight said. Capelli just nodded deciding his mind had been fucked enough for one day.

"Alright now what?" Capelli asked.

"Well I guess you could use a tour." Twilight said.

"OH TWILIGHT PLEASE LET ME TAKE HIM!" Pinkie said as she grabbed Capelli's hand.

"Pinkie how did you know that was him? I placed an illusion spell on him." Twilight said.

"Duh! Look at his cutie mark!" Pinkie said. The ponies looked at Capelli's flank to see a mark on him. Capelli looked but saw nothing.

"Why are you all staring at my ass?" Capelli asked. The ponies all burned with embarrasment. Capelli remembered that he only appeared as a pony to everyone else.

"Here." Twilight said using her magic to generate a small mirror. Capelli grabbed it and angled towards his ass.

"Where'd I get the damn tattoo from?" He asked.

"That is a cutie mark." Pinkie answered.

"A WHAT?" Capelli said as he started laughing. A fuckin cutie mark? That was the most outrageous name he had ever heard.

"What are YOU laughing at?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"A fuckin cutie mark? What is the place occupied by five year old girls?" Capelli snorted. "Seriously, how can you call yourself a man with something called a cutie mark on you?"

"You're a boy and you have one don't you?" Pinkie said. Capelli stopped laughing at that realization.

"Fuck this." He said quietly. He took another look at his 'cutie mark' and examined it. It was not very friendly, it was a chimeran skull with a knife going through it. While the ponies found this rather disturbing Capelli liked it.

"Well what does this thing mean?" The human asked.

"It symbolizes your special talent, it magically appears when you discover what you are good at." Twilight explained. "Though I can't imagine what talent THAT is supposed to symbolize."

"Hey purple is it happy hour or something?" Capelli asked Twilight.

"My name is Twilight and I'm not purple i'm lavendar." Twilight said.

"Same fuckin thing." Capelli responded.

"No on the color spectrum, purple is-" She began to say.

"Okay okay you're lavendar!" Capelli said not wanting to hear some long ass scientific explanation. "Anyway where is everybody?

"Everypony." Twilight corrected.

"You got to be fuckin me right now." "Alright, where is everypony?" Capelli asked. All the ponies that if everypony was missing it could only mean one thing.

"COME WITH ME!" Pinkie said as she grabbed Capelli and dragged him off in the distance.

"FUUUUUCK!" He echoed as he disappeared. The remaining ponies just rolled their eyes as the trotted after them. After being dragged at Mach 5, Pinkie and Capelli arrived at what looked like a giant gingerbread house.

"What. The. Fuck." Capelli said as he fell down and clutched his heart. He looked up and the giant gingerbread house. "Why are we here?"

"Just go in silly!" She said as she hopped over to the door. Capelli rolled his eyes as he walked up to the door and opened it. He heard it slam behind him instantly.

"Oh shit!" He said as he went to open it but it was locked. He looked around and saw that all the lights were off. He rubbed his hands on the wall till he found what looked like a light switch and switched it on.

"SURPRISE!!!!!!!!!!!"

Author's Note

I am going to have Capelli romantically involved with somepony, who should it be? Any one of the mane six is viable

The Party

"SURPRISE!!"

"YAHHHH!" Capelli screamed as he jumped so high he hit his head on the low ceiling. "FUCK!"

"HI JOEY! I THREW THIS PARTY JUST FOR YOU! WERE YOU EXCITED HUH? WERE YA? WERE YA? THATS WHY I WENT ALL 'HUUUUUUUUUH' AND THEN DISAPPEARED SO I COULD HAVE MOST BIGGEST PARTY EV-" Capelli had enough and he stuck his hand in her mouth. He was about to lash out when he remembered what the Princess had said.

"Yeah Pink, I was surprised." Capelli said. The only name he knew was the lavender unicorn Twilight Sparkle, the rest he just called the color of their coats. Smiling, Pinkie hopped away and pulled a bullhorn out of her mane.

"ATTENTION EVERYPONY!" Pinkie shouted. "THE GUEST OF HONOR HAAAAAAAAAAAAAS ARRIVED! JOEY!!!!"

"What kind of name is that?"

"Thats a dumb name."

"Is he from around here?" Capelli was about ready to haul off and kill somepony so instead he walked out. They thought the name Joe was weird? All these ponies had crazy fucking names. He looked up into the sky and looked at its serene evening. Is this what the sky looked like before Chimeran battleships and fire occupied the sky? He pondered what direction his life would of gone had the Chimera never attacked Earth. Would he be some rich CEO? Would he be married? Would he have children? Capelli sighed as he realized all three of those would be impossible in the fucked up world. Inside, the mane six looked at him as he left.

"What eatin him? Applejack asked as she ate a cupcake.

"Who cares? Just leave him." Rainbow said.

"I think we should go and talk to him." Fluttershy said.

"We'll all go." Twilight said as she and her friends walked out to where Capelli was. The way he looked up at the sky seemed peaceful. Normally he gave off an atmosphere of anger and violence but now.....

"Joe?" Twilight asked.

"What you want purple?" Capelli asked.

"WE want to help you." Twilight countered.

"There is nothing any of you can do to help me." Capelli said.

"And why is that?" Rarity asked.

"That is none of your business white." Capelli responded as he got up and began to walk away.

"Joe, listen, we knew about the thing you fought against. What were they called? Chimera." Twilight said. Upon hearing this, Capelli's anger shot up. The only way they could have found that out was if Celestia told them.

"That conniving motherfucker." Capelli began to say.

"Who are you talking about?" Applejack asked.

"Your Princess." Capelli said. At this the mane six, particularly Twilight, gasped.

"How dare YOU!?!" Twilight said stomping her hoof into the ground. "Princess Celestia has been nothing but nice to you ever since you got here!"

"Look just cause you are her personal ass kisser doesn't mean she is all nice!" Capelli countered.

"Hey that wasn't nice mister!" Pinkie said frowning.

"Whatever." Capelli said as he began to leave.

"And just where do you think you're going?" Rainbow shouted.

"My ship." Capelli said. Rainbow went to fly after him but Twilight held out her hoof.

"Leave him. It's gonna be a long day for us tommorow." Twilight said.

"What do you mean?" Fluttershy asked.

"Tommorow is when we start reforming him." Twilight said as the ponies watched as Capelli disappeared into the Everfree Forest. As Capelli walked through the forest, he was enraged. Enraged the Celestia broke her promise. He did not want anyone to know there was a parasitic monster from outer space living in his mind. He roared as he punched a tree and broke it.

"Ugh, this is hopeless!" Capelli said. "How the hell can I befriend them? I don't even know their names!!!"

"Don't give up Joseph, these things take time." A voice said inside Capelli's head. He recognized it as Celestia talking to him through his mind again.

Hey asshole, what the fuck?" Capelli responded.

"What do you mean?" Celestia said.

You promised not to tell anyone about my secret and your fuckin purple protege asked me about the Chimera!" Capelli replied.

"You have to understand, I had to tell them something! How else could I have explained to them why you kept referring to them as Chimera?" Besides, I didn't tell them everything, I just told them you fought an enemy called the Chimera before you came here. The details and your condition are still safe." Celestai explained hoping Capelli would understand.

"Ugh fine I understand but I swear if you tell them anymore than that!" Capelli said.

"I know, I know." Celestia said. "You best be getting some sleep, you have a busy day ahead of you tomorrow."

"What do you mean?"

"Tomorrow you shall meet with my student and her friends and try to gain their friendship." Capelli inwardly groaned but he knew what would happen otherwise.

"Fine, what time?" Capelli asked.

"Meet Applejack a her farm in Sweet Apple Acres. You can't miss it." Celestia said. "Until tomorrow Joseph."

"What do you want a goodnight kiss?" Capelli asked as Celestia cut the link. Capelli just groaned as he entered the chimeran shuttle. He wasn't gonna lie, just being inside something made by the Chimera made him feel uneasy. He would half to find somewhere else to sleep eventually. He walked inside and laid down. Princess Celestia had been kind enough to regenerate his old clothes that had been destroyed in their fight. Capelli took off his wool hat and rolled up into a ball and used it as a pillow. He put his head back and he soon fell asleep.

XXXX

"Such arrogance to think we are a disease to be destroyed when in fact, we are the evolution of man!"A deep and chilling voice said. Capelli looked around but saw he was in total darkness.

"Daedalus." Capelli growled.

"You think this world is your birthright but it was first ours. It was ours ages before you walked upright!" The voice known as Daedalus said again."And now it shall be once more. Soon your skies will shine with our stars, and the Earth shall tremble...only then will you know what it truly means to suffer..."

"Where are you?" Capelli screamed turning around to see a mirror with his reflection.

"Why Joseph, I am right here." Daedalus said as Capelli began to morph into a Chimera.

"AHH!" Capelli shouted as he woke up. He was panting and sweating. Fuckin nightmares, Capelli got up and walked around in an attempt to walk the experience off.

"Daedalus is dead, Hale killed him. He can't be here, I'm just imagining shit." Capelli said as he calmed down. He walked over to the hatch and opened it to reveal sunlight. Capelli was relieved he didn't have to go back to sleep. He stretched as his eyes adjusted to the light. He heard his stomach rumbling in agony, he realize he had not eaten at the party last night so he was very hungry. All of his granola bars and other foods he kept in his backpack were vaporized when Celestia blasted him with magic. He was on his own.

"Maybe that Applejack can cook me up some food." Capelli said to himself. Before he left he grabbed his M1911 pistol and put in his pocket. Never know when your gonna need it. Capelli stepped outside and began trekking towards Ponyville. What normally would have taken a pony ten minutes took a half hour for Capelli due to his paranoia of forests. Back on Earth, forests where full of chimeran chameleons which could turn invisible. The unseen chimera would then sneak up and literally rip the unsuspecting human in two. Everytime Capelli heard a twig snap he turned around and aimed his pistol before he realized he was still in between Narnia and Middle Earth so he had nothing to worry about. He finally saw Ponyville come into view and he let out a sigh of relief. He walked into town and began looking for his 'Applejack'. He assumed the orange pony with the cowboy hat was Applejack but he could not see her. He then remembered something about 'Sweet Apple Acres'. He then realized he had no idea where that was so he went up to nearby pony to ask for directions.

"Hey do you know where Sweet Apple Acres is?" Capelli asked a grey pegasus who had a blond mane.

"Sure thing mister, its uh that way!" She said as she swung her hoof around to point to the direction of Sweet Apple Acres, only to whack Capelli in the face.

"Uh oh! Are you okay?" The grey pony asked.

I swear to God! "I'm fine." Capelli said rubbing the area where she hit him trying not to lose his temper.

"Sorry, I just don't know what went wrong!" She said as she began to fly away. Capelli noticed she didn't fly straight and was bumping into things.

"Must be hungover." Capelli said to himself as headed to where the pony told him to go. He eventually came to clearing which overlooked the farm.

"Woah." Capelli said as he saw acres of apple trees spread out over the horizon. Seeing the delicious looking apples made him drool. He decided it wouldn't hurt if he took just one considering there had to be thousands of apple trees. Capelli looked to see if anypony was looking and he reached up and grabbed a red delicious apple. Capelli bit into it and felt its sweet juices squirt into the corners of his mouth. He happily munched it down and threw the core to the ground. He wasn't full yet so he took another, and another, and another, and another till he had eaten all the apples on tree.

"Oh shit, well she wont notice." Capelli said looking at the empty tree and all the apple cores on the ground. He took the apple he was currently eating and went for another bite.

"Excuse me?" A tiny voice said causing Capelli to choke on the piece of apple. He fell to the ground as the apple piece lodged itself in his windpipe. He started whamming his fist into his chest until he felt the chunk of food come out of his windpipe. He then spat the half-chewed apple covered in saliva on the ground.

"Ewwwww!" The voice said. Capelli turned to see a tiny yellow earth pony with a red mane standing behind him. She had a large red bow in her mane. Even for Capelli. he had to admit she was a cute one.

"Can I help you?" Capelli asked wondering why she hadn't freaked out at his appearance. He then remembered Twilight had cast an illusion spell on him.

"Why are you stealin our apples?" She asked innocently.

"Uh I didn't take any apples!" Capelli said throwing the apple he was eating.

"It's not right to lie ya know." She said.

"Sorry I missed breakfast." Capelli said without meaning it. "Do you know where I can find a Applejack?"

"Applejack? That's mah sister!" She said. "Mah names Applebloom."

"Call me Capelli, can you take me to her?" Capelli asked.

"Sure thing mister!" She said as she happily trotted back towards the farmhouse with Capelli close behind.

Reformation Day One

Capelli followed Applebloom through the endless rows of apple trees. After a while Capelli began to think they were walking in circles because they had not yet reached the farm house. Capelli felt a sigh of relief and nervousness as the two entered. Capelli looked around and saw what looked like a typical farm. Growing up in New York city, Capelli was not accustomed to being in the country. His thoughts mixed as he saw a penthouse for chickes, a pen for pigs, a field for cows?

"I thought horses were herbivores?" Capelli thought as he pondered what possible use cows and pigs would have other than being made into steak and bacon. Capelli saw a large red horse with yolk around it's neck sitting on the porch of the house with a piece of hay in its mouth. Capelli assumed this one to be male due to its muscular body and more squarish face.

"Who is that?" Capelli asked the filly.

"Thats Big Macintosh, he's mah brother." Applebloom said as she hopped up onto the porch. "Howdy Big Mac!"

"Hey there Bloom." Big Mac said hugging his little sister. The red stallion looked up to see Capelli standing a few feet in front of him.

"Whose that fellar?" Big Mac asked.

"That's Joe. He's here to see Applejack." Applebloom said. Upon hearing this, Big Mac's eyes angled and he glared at Capelli with anger.

"Applebloom, get inside now." Big Mac said in a serious tone.

"But why?" Applebloom asked.

"NOW!" Big Mac said raising his voice. Applebloom took this as her cue to go. Big Mac usually never raised his voice so when he did it meant he was mad. Big Mac slowly stomped over to Capelli.

"What's your problem?" Capelli asked.

"Ah know what you did to mah sister." Big Mac said darkly. "Ah heard how you beat her to unconsciousness!"

"She had it coming." Capelli responded.

"YOU LISTEN HERE!" Big Mac said as he stomped on the ground and then in a silent voice said. "Nopony bucks with mah lil sister! You here me?"

"I hear ya," Capelli said more annoyed than intimidated."Now where is she?"

"You aint goin anywhere NEAR mah sister ya hear?" Big Mac said.

"And what are you gonna do about it hick?" Capelli countered.

"A'hm gonna kick yer flank!" Big Mac said as he got into a fighting stance.

"Go for it." Capelli said as he two got into his stance. Macintosh roared as he leapt at Capelli. The sentinal jumped backwards as the red stallion charged into him and used his arms to put Big Mac into a front headlock. Capelli than began to swing around and let go of Big Mac sending the red stallion into the air. Big Mac hit the ground with a hard thud but quickly recovered and ran at Capelli again. Capelli saw Macintosh running at him and figured the pony would try and headbutt him. Capelli prepared to wrap his arms around the ponies neck again but right when Big Mac got close the stallion swung around and brought his back hooves directly into Capelli' chest. The strike was so sudden even the chimera within him could not dodge in time. The blow knocked Capelli to the ground.

"Shit, this ones way stronger than any of those guards." Capelli thought as he saw Big Mac running at him. Big Mac stood up on his back hooves and raised his front hooves above Capelli's head with the intent of smashing the sentinal to the ground. Capelli saw this and somersaulted out of the way. When Big Mac brought his hooves down, Capelli got up and swung his body bringing his right leg up and kicked Big Mac right in the face. The stallion lost a few teeth and the sentinals foot collided with his head.

"This pony is strong, ah don't think ah can beat him." Big Mac thought as he rubbed his bloody muzzle. Capelli roared as he ran up to hit Big Mac. The stallion once again stood up on his back legs and brought his front hooves up. Capelli's arms connected with Big Mac's front hooves. The two were in a stalemate for about five seconds until Capelli's greater strength overpowered the pony. Capelli shoved Big Mac to the ground and then curb stomped the pony's head. Big Mac saw his vision go dark after three hits.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOIN!?!" A voice called out. Capelli looked to see the orange mare he believed to be Applejack running out. She was sad and very angry. Applejack trotted over to her beaten brother and held him in her hooves. He had a bloody muzzle, a black eye, missing teeth, and some other nasty cuts and bruises.

"He-" Capelli began to say.

"GET OUT!" Applejack screamed at the top of her lungs as tears rolled down her face. "GET OUT NOW!"

"But-" Capelli said trying to defend himself.

"AH SAID LEAVE!" Applejack said as she started throwing apples at him. Capelli just growled and ran away from the farm.

"Well I fucked that one up." Capelli said as he entered town. Great, not even an hour in and he already blew it!

"Joseph, are you there?" Celestia asked in his mind causing him to jump.

"Will you give me a heads up when you do that? You almost gave me a heart attack!" Capelli said clutching his heart.

"My apologies. How did it go with Applejack?" Celestia asked.

"Well, uhhh. You see it was kind of a funny misun-" Capelli began to say. Celestia just sighed.

"She kicked you out didn't she?" Celestia said.

"Yup." Capelli answered.

"I figured just as much. Applejack is one of Twilight's more stubborn friends." Celestia said. "Next you must go find Pinkie Pie at Sugarcube Corner, than Rarity at Carosaul Boutique, next you will find Fluttershy at her cottage on the edge of town, then you will find Rainbow Dash at her could home above town hall, and finally you will find Twilight at her library. Any questions?"

"No." Capelli replied.

"Very well then, I expect to hear good things. Farewell Joseph." Celestia said as she ended the conversation. Capelli just groaned. He knew Applejack would murder him next time she saw him. Rarity and Rainbow Dash already didn't like him at all. Twilight wasn't too fond of him either. Fluttershy suffered from some serious bipolar disorder and Pinkie Pie? Oh Lord.

"Might as well get this shit over with." Capelli said as headed towards Sugercube corner. He remembered where it was from the party yesterday. As he walked he noticed the severe lack of males in this town. Come to think of it, Big Mac was the only guy he had seen at all since he got to Ponyville.

"Bet the guy sees a lot of action." Capelli thought to himself. He also noticed mares giving him some rather, seductive looks. Capelli gulped and sped up. Fight off endless waves of parasitic monsters from space? Alright. Get one of those parasitic monster from space infused into my body? Could deal with it. Have sex with mulitcolored ponies? Not a chance in hell. Capelli finally found the familiar gingerbread house and walked up to the door. He opened it and saw a slightly chubby blue mare with a pink mane running around carrying platters of treats with a skinnier yellow stallion with an orange mane who was attempting to calm two crying infants/

"Hello dearie, how may I help you?" The blue mare asked as she came up to him.

"I'm looking for Pinkie Pie." Capelli said not used to how dumb these names were.

"Oh yes she is upst-" The mare began to say before Capelli found himself embraced in pink.

"JOOOEEY! ITS SO GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN! I HADNT SEEN YOU SINCE LAST NIGHT WHEN YOU WERE ALL SAD!" Pinkie exclaimed as she hugged him tighter and tighter. Her grip was so tight that Capelli felt his diaphragm beginning to get crushed so his survival instincts took over and he shoved the pony off of him a little harder than he meant to. Pinkie hit the ground with a hard thud.

"OW!" She said. Everypony in the store gave Capelli a bad look.

"I uh-" He said.

"Its okay!" Pinkie said shooting right back up like she hadn't even been hurt. Capelli felt a sigh of relief wash over him knowing he hadn't hurt her. Not because he cared for her safety but because he didn't want a repeat of Sweet Apple Acres.

"Now what do I do?" Capelli thought to himself. As if Pinkie read him mind, she grabbed him and dragged him into the kitchen at speeds unknown to man. In a matter of of seconds he found himself in a chef's hat and an apron.

"And thats how Equestria was made!" Pinkie said. Capelli just rolled his eyes. This was a strange one indeed. "WHEEEEEE! This will be so fun! I've never baked cupcakes with a human before! HUHHHH! I'LL BE THE FIRST PONY EVER!!!!!"

"Listen Pink." Capelli said getting up and taking the apron off. "Baking isn't my thing."

"But!" Pinkie said as Capelli began to walk away. He felt something tug at his leg. He looked to see Pinkie holding on to his leg.

"Please!? It will be fun!" Pinkie said as she put on her puppy dog face. Capelli sighed as he gave in.

"Fine." The sentinal said.

"YAY!!!!!!! But first you have to do one thing!" Pinkie said.

"What?" Capelli asked.

"You have to Pinkie Promise you won't leave me again." Pinkie said.

"Pinkie Promise? How? These ponies don't even have fingers!" Capelli thought. "Yeah sure whatever I pinkie promise."

"YIPPEE!" Lets get cooking." Pinkie said as she pulled out a pan and began to sing.

All you have to do is take a cup of flour,
Add it to the mix!
Now just take a little something sweet, not sour,
A bit of salt--just a pinch!

Baking these treats is such a cinch,
Add a teaspoon of vanilla.
Add a little more, and you count to four
And you never get your fill-a~

Cupcakes, so sweet and tasty~
Cupcakes--don't be too hasty,
Cupcakes~ cupcakes, cupcakes,
cupcakes!

Capelli was about ready to shoot himself. How could anything ever last longer than a minute with this pony? Even the Chimera didn't deserve such a fate. Suddenly he heard the sound of two infants crying.

"Uh oh!" Pinkie said as she walked over to crib and pulled out two crying foals. "Don't cry!" Capelli froze, the sound of crying children embedded into his mind from countless times when a child was taken by a Chimera to be eaten or worse. The sound began to trigger memories he had fought so hard to keep buried away. While Pinkie was tending to the crying foals, Capelli snuck out the window as quiet as he could. He then slowly began to trot away when he heard in a voice that would scare a Chimeran Titan.

"Joey? Where are you? Joey?" Pinkie said looking out the window and seeing Capelli trying to get away. Upon seeing Capelli try to sneak away Pinkie's face contorted from a happy smile to an angry and evil glare. Her eyes shrunk down as her mane went from poofy chaos to a straighter look.

"Oh shit." Capelli said.

"YOU PINKIE PROMISED!!!!!!! She screamed in a deep voice.

"OH SHIT!" Capelli yelled as Pinkie bursted through the window and began running after him. Capelli's heart began beating like none other as he ran for dear life. "SOMEONE HELP ME!" He yelled as Pinkie grabbed his leg. Capelli fell to the ground as Pinkie dragged him closer and closer. Capelli used his arms to grab onto the side of a house but his hands broke through the wood and he was drawn closer to Pinkie.

"Hey look a balloon!" Capelli yelped as Pinkie glared at him.

"WHERE?" She said as she scanned the skies. Capelli took this moment to get the fuck outta there. He ran faster than he ever had his entire life.

JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOEE!" She screamed in the distance as Capelli ran. He saw a door and without thinking ran into it. He slammed the door behind him and locked it. He then slumped to the ground clutching his still beating heart. He had had single handedly taken down Chimeran Titans and Goliaths but that thing Pinkie just did was pure terror unlike anything Capelli had ever felt. Capelli rubbed his eyes and noticed it was quite misty in the room. He batted the mist away with his hooves so he could figure out where he was. When the mist finally cleared he saw several mares submerged in a hot tub. Capelli's eyes widened.

"Hello ladies I uh-" Capelli said backing up.

"PERVERT!" They all screamed as they pelted him with whatever they could find. Soap bars, shampoo bottles, even a couple horseshoes hit Capelli. He quickly opened the door and slammed it shut. He looked up and saw the sign above the door.

Spa Hot Tubs Emergency Exit

"I swear I must have been Emperor Nero in the past life." Capelli said as he fell to the ground cursing his bad luck. "Alright. Applejack hates me, Pinkie will probably bake me into a cupcake if she ever sees me again." Capelli said as he ran over his day. "Who is next?" Capelli said as he thought over the name Celestia gave him. "Oh shit."

The next one was Rarity.

Author's Note

Poor Capelli. Haha. Leave reviews my children and please let me know which of the mane six you like me to pair Capelli with

Reformation Part Two

Capelli was not to enthusiastic about seeing Rarity. In an hour and a half the two friendliest ponies already had him on their shit list. He knew Rarity already did not like him, he gave himself five minutes tops before she too kicked him out. He walked down the streets of Ponyville looking for Rarity's home. As he walked he saw the happy looks on the ponies faces. It made him think of the sad and defeated looks on the faces of people back on Earth. These ponies had it going for them.

Maybe humanity can restart here? No, they're probably all dead by now anyway." Capelli thought as he came to a shop that looked like a fashion store. He looked at the sign that said Carosel Boutique, He knew he was in the right place so he went up to the door and knocked.

"Come in, the store is open!" A voice came from inside. Capelli sighed as he opened the door to reveal Rarity working on a dress.

"Hello?" Capelli said as he walked in.

"Good afternoon darling!" Rarity said upon seeing the handsome stallion but then remembering who it was. "Oh its you."

"Yeah." Capelli said. Rarity sighed, if Capelli wasn't so rude, or abrasive, or mean, or rough, or brutish, or inconsiderate (The list could go on) He would be the perfect stallion. This was like Prince Blueblood all over again.

"Well come in." Rarity said as Capelli walked further into the store. Capelli looked and saw numerous dresses and suits hanging adrift in the store. This pony sure took fashion seriously. Capelli kept walking until he stepped on something furry. He heard a hiss and the next thing he knew, a white cat came out and began relentlessly attacking Capelli. Animals back on Earth, particularly cats and dogs, were known to be able to sniff out the chimera virus and attack the host. The animals here were no different.

"DAMMIT!" Capelli screamed as he threw the cat off of him. Capelli backed up into a pole and tripped, he grabbed one of the dresses to pull himself up. The dress could not support his 230 pound frame and the dress let out a loud rip, much to the horror of Rarity. Upon seeing Rarity's face, he knew he was fucked.

"M-my ensemble for the G-g-g-gala!" Rarity quivered as she ran to the ruined dress and held it in her hooves. Tears of rage rolling down her face. Capelli slowly backed away knowing he was in for an ass chewing.

"YOU SIR!" Rarity screamed as she stomped up to him and gave him a death glare. "Are the most brutish and inconsiderate stallion I have ever met! You have the gall to attack my friends and then ruin my ensemble I spent WEEKS working on?"

"Calm the fuck down, its just a damn dress." Capelli said as his temper rose. "You have millions in here!"

"Just a dress? JUST A DRESS!?! THIS IS MY LIFE'S WORK!!!" Rarity roared. "It took months to come up with the idea! Endless hours of labor to get the materials and weeks more to make it and YOU RUINED IT!! GET OUT NOW!"

"FINE!" Capelli yelled. "Your a stuck up cunt anyway!"

"HOW DARE YOU?" Rarity scowled as she struck Capelli across the face. "Don't you ever show your face here again!" Rarity slammed the door in Capelli's face. Capelli could hear her crying from inside. If she hadn't acted like such a bitch he might have felt bad. It was just a fuckin dress for fuck's sake, she has a million of them in there.

"Well I lasted more than five minutes." Capelli said to himself. He sighed as he debated who he should go see next. His choices were Fluttershy, Twilight, and Rainbow Dash. He knew Rainbow Dash was gonna be a flop and Fluttershy was the farthest away so he settled on Twilight. He walked over to Twilight's house pondering over his day. Every single mishap he's had was caused by something else. He hoped Twilight's would be different. He walked over to the library which was built into a tree?

"Wow a library built into a tree! You know, why am I even questioning stuff like this at this point?" Capelli thought as he knocked on the door. He waited for about ten seconds when he hear the door open from inside. Inside was a small purple dragon drinking a can of soda. Capelli just stood their as his eyes took in the sight. He could take technicolored ponies but a dragon?

"Uh can I-" The little dragon said as he felt a air bubble rising up through his windpipe. He opened his mouth as he released a powerful belch which was accompanied by a burst of green flame.

"AHH!" Capelli screamed as the flame burned part of his face. Human tissue was susceptible to fire as it was but Chimeran cells were even more vulnerable to heat and fire. The burn not only burned Capelli's face but also caused many chimeran cells to die causing even more pain and tissue damage than usual.

"OH MY GOSH!" The dragon yelled as he ran over to Capelli who was screaming and clutching his face. "Are you okay?" The dragon asked as a fist popped into his face sending the little dragon back quite a few feet. The dragon sat on the ground tearing up as he rubbed the place he had been hit. The only thing that stopped any bones from breaking was the dragon's extremely dense scales.

"OW! Why did you do that?" The dragon cried.

"Why do you think moron?" Capelli growled. "YOU COULD HAVE FUCKIN KILLED ME!"

"IM SORRY IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!" The dragon said in defense. Capelli stomped over ready to unleash his fury but then remembered he had already pissed off three ponies today. He wanted to try and make atleast one ally.

"Fine!" Capelli said. "But don't you ever do that again!"

"SPIKE!" A mare's voice called out. Capelli and the dragon whose name was Spike looked to see an enraged Twilight running at them. Twilight rushed past Capelll and ran to the little dragon and hugged him tightly. Twilight turned around with a look of rage at Capelli.

"YOU!" Twilight said as her horn began to light up. "What did you do?"

"Um Twilight It wasn't his fault." Spike said trying to calm down the angry unicorn.

"Don't try to defend him Spike! I saw him yell at you and hit you!" Twilight said.

"But Twilight!" Spike said.

"Spike get inside now!" Twilight said. Spike gave Capelli one of those 'sorry man' looks.

"Alright listen here Purple!" Capelli said. "The thing blew FIRE into my face!"

"Now you're making false accusations towards children? I didn't think even you could stoop that low!" Twilight said.

"And what is THAT supposed to mean?" Capelli challenged. Their yelling had gathered a crowd of ponies.

"You know what I mean! You're rude, mean, rough, inconsiderate, and a LIAR!" Twilight accused.

"And you are a stubborn little kiss ass to your mommy Celestia!" Capelli said. "Fuck you!"

"Hey Twi is this guy bothering you?" A large brown stallion asked the distressed mare. The stallion's name was Storm Rider and was Twilight's next door neighbor.

"No Stormrider, he's not worth your time." Twilight said as she gave Capelli a death stare. Capelli simply smiled and returned the glare. He stomped away very pissed off. At this point he didn't give two fucks about this world anymore.

"Fuck it! I hope I turn into a chimera and destroy this whole race of asshole ponies! Capelli thought as he stormed away into a field. This was bullshit! He should be on earth right now killing Chimera and stopping the extinction of the human race but no! He is here in a land that looks like a bad drug trip having to learn the magic of friendship! He sat on the grass venting off his anger when he heard a small eep from behind him.

"WHO IS IT?!" Capelli said as he turned around. He saw the yellow pegasus named Fluttershy a few feet behind him, "Oh its you yellow."

"Um Joe? Is there something wrong?" Fluttershy timidly asked.

"Besides the fact half the town hates me, Im fuckin great!" Capelli said frowning. Normally Fluttershy was terrified of this crazed man but seeing him so..... defeated made her feel bad for him.

"Oh they don't hate you, they just misunderstand you." She said taking a few steps closer. Capelli turned around and saw her sitting there looking at him. He just grunted as he turned away.

"Well they can go fuck themselves." Capelli said.

"Joe, that's not very nice!" Fluttershy scolded.

"I don't care, in fact, why do YOU care?" Capelli asked standing up.

"What do you mean?" Fluttershy said now getting scared.

"You have the biggest assholes for friends I have ever seen!" Capelli said. Fluttershy gasped when she heard that.

"Thats not true!" She said stomping her hoof.

"Please! We got the hillbilly whose brother tried to crack my skull! The fuckin pyhsco schizophrenic who tried to strangle me for leaving! The prissy cunt whose cat tried to eat my face off! And the kiss ass whose pet dragon set my face on fire!" Capelli said. "Even you have fucked me over big time!"

"How? I would never-" Fluttershy said shocked.

"The whole reason I am on everybody's shit list was because YOU attacked me first that one day! That gave everybody the impression I was the bad guy! You are what started the whole fuckin fight which led me to getting attacked and imprisoned!"

"But you were hurting Mr. Bear, I just-" Fluttershy said as tears began to form in her eyes.

"Oh I'm sorry, next time I'm getting attacked by a fuckin twelve foot tall, two thousand pound grizzly bear I'll just let him maul me!" Capelli roared. Fluttershy couldn't take anymore and she ran away crying. Capelli's words ate away at her. Was it really her fault? Did she trigger everything because she hit him first? She didn't mean to hurt anypony! Fluttershy fell to the ground and sobbed wishing she could just disappear. Capelli saw her run away crying and actually felt a twinge of guilt. The other ponies deserved what he said but she hadn't even antagonized him.

"Fuck her anyway." Capelli said deciding he had enough. He was turning to leave when the worst possible pony could have showed up.

"HEY!" A blue rainbow maned pegasus said as she landed on the ground hard.

"Just ignore her before you do something you regret!" Capelli thought as he acted like he didn't hear her. Rainbow Dash grew aggraveted that he just ignore her.

"HEY! IM TALKING TO YOU!" She yelled she flung a rock at Capelli which struck him in the back of the head. Capelli felt the sharp pain of the rock impacting with his skull. His rage shot up as adrenaline coursed through his veins. He slowly turned around to face the pegasus.

"Who do you think you are?" Rainbow said flying up to him. "I saw what you did to Fluttershy!"

"Listen Blue, I don't fuckin like you so get the fuck outta my face!" Capelli threatened.

"Or what!?" Rainbow challenged. Her anger and pride blinding her to the fact Capelli would beat the shit out of her.

"Remember what I did last time? I'll do even worse!" Capelli whispered into her ear. Rainbow remembered how badly she was beaten last time but that didn't stop her.

"Why are you such a jerk?" Rainbow asked. "All you have done is cause trouble!"

"Why are you such a bitch?" Capelli said. "Fuck you and fuck those assholes you call 'friends'." That did it.

"WHY YOU-" Rainbow screamed as she flew in so fast not even Capelli had time to dodge. She tackled him to the ground and began unloading on him. Swinging her hooves down in blind rage.

"I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!" Rainbow said as she continued to violently swing her hooves down on Capelli, intent on smashing his face to a pulp. After a few more seconds the adrenaline started wearing off and the cost of so much energy took its toll on Rainbow's body. She panted and gasped as she saw Capelli not moving. She slowly walked over breathing heavily. She was shocked when she saw he no longer looked like a pony but was now a human. Rainbow figured the illusion spell must have worn off from her knocking him out.

"Just because you don't have any friends doesn't mean you can hurt mine." Rainbow said as Capelli's hand shot out and grabbed her throat. Rainbow gasped as the humans fingers wrapped around her neck like tentacles. Capelli began to squeeze, hard. Rainbow looked into his eyes and saw the golden irises. Just looking at his eyes made her feel weak and helpless. Capelli let out a roar similar to the ones that Chimera Hybrids make. Capelli lifter Rainbow up by her neck with his one hand and brought back his other hand and formed a fist. He swung with all his might delivering the blow to the ponies stomach. Rainbow tried to let out a cry of pain but couldn't due to Capelli constricting her windpipe.

"You have no idea what I have gone through, the things I have seen, the things I had to do." Capelli said in his normal voice as he loosened his grip. As much as he wanted to he wasn't going to kill Rainbow, he was just trying to let her know not to fuck with him.

"JOSEPH CAPELLI!" A loud voice boomed across the sky. Capelli dropped Rainbow Dash who attempted to crawl away from the angry human. Capelli looked and saw both Celestia and Luna hovering above him. Each of them was obviously pissed off.

"RAINBOW DASH!" Capelli looked to see Twilight and the others accompanied by Big Mac and Spike. Capelli turned to face Celestia.

"I sent you here to make friends with them." Celestia said quietly "NOT TO HARM THEM!"

"Woah! I did not-" Capelli began to say.

"Twilight Sparkle wrote to us about your behavior around Ponyville." Princess Luna said. "Don't even try to deceive us."

"You got to be kidding me." Capelli said.

"Joseph. I tried to help you. I gave you way more chances than you deserved!" Celestia said.

"Don't I get a chance to defend myself?" Capelli asked.

"Defend yourself?" HA!" Rarity said.

"What excuse could you possible have for such behavior?" Celestia asked interested to hear what drove Capelli to hurt ponies.

"Well first off, when I went to Applejack's farm. Her shit for brained brother started a fight!" Capelli said. All eyes fell on Big Mac.

"Is this true?" Celestia asked.

"Eeyup, ah was just so mad at him fer hurtin mah sister." Big Mac said hugging Applejack.

"Well I guess thats one reasonable excuse but-" Luna began to say.

"Hey I'm not finished. Then when I went to Pyscho Pie's house. I did some pinkie promise that I wouldn't leave and two babies started crying so I left!" Capelli said.

"You broke a Pinkie Promise?" All the ponies said at once not sure to be impressed or disgusted with him.

"Alright first of all, how can you even do a pinkie promise? You don't even have fingers!" Capelli said. "And two, hearing the crying babies brought up bad memories of the war for me!"

"Oh I didn't know that." Pinkie said starting to feel guilty. Capelli then turned to Rarity.

"Your fuckin cat almost slashed my neck open! That's why I fell and grabbed the stupid dress!" Capelli said.

"Opalesence would never!" Rarity began to say.

"Oh really?" Capelli said showing his neck. The ponies all look and saw the scar of what was undoubtedly a cat scratch.

"Oh my...." Rarity said as her ears drooped down.

"And then this little prick!" Capelli said pointing to Spike. "Burped fucking fire into to my face!"

"It's true, I was drinking a soda and it just sorta came out." Spike said embarrassed.

"Spike why didn't you tell me?" Twilight asked.

"I tried! You kept stopping me." Spike said. Twilight put her head down ashamed of her actions.

"Wait a minute what about Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy?" Luna asked.

"Alright Rainbow Dash over there fuckin picked a fight with me!" Capelli said. "And Fluttershy I.........."

"Yes?" Luna said hoping she could nail him for this.

"Alright I admit she didn't antagonize me but I still yelled at her." Capelli said. "Because THESE five assholes over here pissed me off all day!" Though Celestia was pissed at Capelli. Seeing him being honest when he could have lied impressed her. Perhaps he wasn't a lost cause after all.

"That doesn't excuse your attitude!" Luna said. "In the short time you have been here you have proven to be rude, inconsiderate, selfish, cruel, cold hearted, grim, deceitful, and mean!"

"Yeah why are you suck a jerk all the time?"

"We just tried to be nice!"

"No wonder you don't have any friends!"

"You wanna know why I'm an asshole?" Capelli said slowly. "Because before I came here, I went through FUCKING HELL!"

"Would you care to elaborate?" Luna asked.

"Celestia I think its time I showed them my little secret." Capelli smirked. "Maybe after you see what the living hell I had to endure you will see why I'm 'such a jerk'."

Author's Note

Man everypony gonna feel like an ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHOLE when they hear Capelli out.R&R

Twisted History

"Joseph, are you sure you want to do this?" Celestia asked Capelli shocked. He had seen so determined to keep this a secret.

"Listen, the whole reason I didn't want anyone knowing about this was to avoid panic and mistrust. Although it seems I managed to do just that." Capelli said. "Besides, everyone keeps asking why I'm an asshole, I think they deserve to know."

"Very well Joseph." Celestia said.

"Might I suggest we go somewhere a little more private?" Luna asked. Capelli looked around and saw they were in an open field. Perhaps it might be better if they did this in private so nopony else would see. Celestia nodded and closed her eyes as her horn ignited. Capelli felt himself glowing and the moment he blinked. He found himself in Twilight's library along with the others.

"W-what?" Capelli said confused.

"Teleportation spell." Celestia said nonchalantly. Capelli was impressed, not even the Chimera had mastered biological teleportation like that. The ponies all settled in a circle as Capelli stood in the middle. He saw Spike sitting on Twilight's back and decided the things they were about to see were too scary for a kid.

"Hey dragon, you might wanna leave." Capelli said.

"His name is Spike." Twilight spat. "And why does he have to leave?"

"Fine let him stay." Capelli said. "When he is never able to fall back asleep again, don't come crying to me."

"Spike?" Twilight asked.

"It's okay Twilight I can take this." Spike said in a tough voice to impress his crush, Rarity.

"Alright was is it you want us to see?" Luna asked. Capelli nodded to Celestia and she lit her horn. In an instant, the ponies, Spike, and Capelli found themselves in some sort of bubble.

"It all started forty years ago, I wasn't even born yet." Capelli said. "There was an explosion in a country called Russia, it flattened an entire forest and destroyed a shit load of trees. No one knew what caused it or how it happened. It became known as the Tunguska Event. A couple years later, The Great War A\N: The Great War is referring to World War One, since World War Two never occured in the Resistance timeline it would sound weird to call it World War one if it was the only world war. started." Capelli explained.

"Was this the war you fought in?" Pinkie asked.

"Fuck no, The Great War was between the world's most powerful countries. It lasted for four years and saw millions of casualties but that was a playground compared to what was to come." Capelli said. "After the war ended, Russia went dark. All communications and transport into and out of the country were severed. We initially thought the ruskies had made some big ass super weapon. How much I wish it had been only that."

"Was it the chimera?" Twilight asked intrigued at the history.

"You bet it was." Capelli said. "Now we come to my life." He said as the bubble they sat in transitioned to a run down home in a large city.

"JOE! DID YOU EAT MY FUCKIN SANDWICH!" A large and ugly man called out. He was tall and very overweight, he was wearing a white shirt with run down jeans. He had black hair and a long beard.

"Ugh who is that?" Rarity asked repulsed by the man's hideousness.

"That's my father." Capelli said gritting his teeth in anger. "I fucking hated him!"

"How could you hate yer own family?" Applejack asked appalled.

"Take a look." Capelli said as everypony continued watching. The ponies saw a little boy, no more than seven years old sitting in a corner crying. He had short black hair with blue eyes and was wearing just a pair of overalls. Everypony assumed this to be a young Capelli.

"I'm sorry daddy but you sent me to bed without lunch or dinner yesterday." The young Capelli said with fear in his voice.

"YOU LITTLE THIEF!" Capelli's father yelled as he struck Capelli across the face. Everypony gasped as the young Capelli fell to the ground.

"I'm sorry daddy! I was just hungry! I swear i'll never do it again!" Capelli said pleading with his father.

"Oh your damn right it will never happen again!" Capelli's father said as he pulled out a belt and whipped his son to the bone. "I FUCKIN WORK MY ASS OFF ALL DAY AND THIS IS HOW I'M REPAID?"

"STOP PLEASE!" Capelli yelled as his father continue to whip him.

"I didn't even want you! Your fuckin cunt mother wouldn't get the abortion!" Capelli's father roared.

"Don't call mommy bad names!" Capelli yelled as he punched his father in the groin. Capelli's father responded by grabbing his son by the hair and shoving his head into a wall.

"GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY HOUSE YOU PEICE OF SHIT!" Capelli's father screamed he threw Capelli outside into the snow. Everypony held their hooves to their mouth upon seeing this. Such things NEVER happened in Equestria.

"How could a father treat their child like that?" Luna asked angered.

"He is probably the only thing I hate more than the chimera. Hopefully he's dinner for some chimera." Capelli said as the memory shifted to his days in the military. The ponies watched as Capelli got into many fights and was subject to many punishments. His severe insubordination cost him his rank several times.

"If I hadn't gotten demoted so many times, I'd probably be a general by now." Capelli said. One of the things that stuck out ponies, particularly Pinkie, was that never in any of the memories was Capelli with a friend.

"He's never had any friends ever?" Pinkie thought. To her, that was a fate worse than death. All the ponies looked at Capelli and did feel sorry for yelling at him. Mostly Applejack because family was core to her and to be treated like that by your own father was terrible.

"Enough of that shit." Capelli said as he explained the progress of the chimera. "A couple years later, all of the continent of asia went dark. Cities were found demolished and millions were either dead or missing. The continent of Europe had built a long and tall wall separating it from Russia. One day out of nowhere, the Chimera launched a full out assault on Europe and within four weeks the entire continent had fallen."

"Only four weeks?" Fluttershy said disturbed.

"Yep. In response the last free country in that part of the world, Great Britian, prepared for the invasion. When the chimera attacked, not even the preparations were enough to hold them off and the Chimera conquered most of Britian in two weeks. Let me tell you something, those brits were fuckin tough and even they were getting their asses kicked. Getting desperate they contacted my country, The United States for support. The government knew about the chimera but the public was kept in the dark. We realized that the chimera were just to superior to fight the way we were so we created them."

"Who?" Rarity asked.

"The Sentinels." Capelli said. "Even the strongest humans were physically no match for even the most standard chimera species. Candidates were selected and injected with the chimeran virus, this project was known as 'Project Abraham'."

"Chimeran virus?" Twilight asked.

"I'll get to that later purple." Capelli said. "The chimeran virus granted the candidates the abilities of the chimera. Including super strength, speed, reflexes and recovery time. This program was classified above top secret and was so secret that the families of the candidates were told that they were killed in action."

"How awful." Fluttershy said.

"Wait, if it was so secret how do YOU know about it?" Rainbow asked.

"Because I am one of them." Capelli said. "You all have noticed how fast I heal. That is not natural, that is due to the chimeran cells within me." The ponies saw Capelli getting injected with the virus and lashing out. "I was lucky, not everybody survived."

"What happened?" Fluttershy asked.

"You really want to see. I watched as Gennaro went and I remember what happened." Capelli said as the memory shifted to Gennaro's injection. WARNING! This video is EXTREMELY gory and graphic, do not watch if you are disturbed by gore.

"AHHHH!" Rarity screamed as she threw up. Fluttershy and Pinkie began crying as Spike hid behind Twilight's shoulder. Even Celestia was disturbed by this. She had not seen THIS when she looked into Capelli's mind.

"H-h-how did that happen?" Luna asked as she gagged.

"The virus had diverse effects depending on the amount in the body. Guy's skull began to malform and his body temperature rose. In his state of hystria he cut open his stomach trying to cool himself down. Good thing I got mine before he did or I what have NEVER agreed to this shit, poor bastard." Capelli said. "The survivors of Project Abraham pretty much became super soldiers. We were part chimera and part human."

"Umm Twilight? I'm gonna go outside for a bit." Spike said holding his stomach with a sick look on his face.

"It's okay Spike." Twilight said hugging the dragon as he slowly walked outside severely traumatized by what he saw.

"Anyway, the brits were desparate so they contacted the U.S and in exchange for intel and a chimeran species. The U.S sent twelve thousand of its best troops into York. Only one of them survived."

"Only one? Out of twelve thousand?!" Applejack said horrified.

"They were sent in to fight an enemy they knew absolutely nothing about." Capelli said. "Not only that, the fuckin chimera somehow knew we were coming and ambushed them."

"What happened to the survivor?" Celestia asked.

"His name was Nathan Hale." Capelli said as a picture of Hale appeared. He too, like Capelli, had golden eyes. HIs face was one of courage and determination.

"This son of a bitch single handedly took down the ENTIRE chimeran army in Britian! He was unkillable, he went on the most dangerous mission so often people thought he was suicidal. Some religious groups even thought he was Jesus Christ coming back to Earth."

"Jesus?" Celestia asked.

"I'll get to that later." Capelli said. "Hale was a sentinel like me. When the Chimera finally invaded my country. He and I were on the same team with two other Sentinels, Ben Warner and Aaron Hawthorne." Capelli said as images of the chimera invasion appeared before the ponies.

Upon looking at these scenes. The ponies saw how outmatched and outnumbered the human race was against the invaders.

"And here are the asshole responsible." Capelli said as an image of a chimeran hybrid appeared.

The ponies all gasped as they saw the monster appear. It was the most horrifying thing any of them had ever seen! Fluttershy squeaked in stark terror as the creature bore its fangs. The ponies all looked at Capelli with a newfound respect. He truly did live in a living nightmare.

"Those were only Hybrids, they are weakest chimera." Capelli said.

"THOSE are weak?!" Rainbow said. Those things were freakin huge!

"There were Steelheads." Capelli said. "Their Auger Rifle could fire through walls making cover useless. Your only hope was to keep moving."

"Then there were Ravagers, I fuckin hated these things!" Capelli said. "Fifteen times stronger than a human, I saw people get torn limb from limb by these things."

"And Titans." Capelli said.

"You think that was big, you should have seen the Leviathan." Capelli said.

"Were did such horrid creatures come from?" Rarity asked terrified.

"Do you know what the word 'Chimera' means?" Capelli asked.

"A chimera or chimaera is a single organism that is composed of two or more different populations of genetically distinct cells." Twilight said. "Basically, it is two beings within one body."

"You're not as dumb as you look." Capelli said.

"What does that have to do with where they come from?" Twilight asked.

"Remember how I said there was a chimeran virus?" Capelli asked.

"Yes." The ponies all said.

"They used that to infect people." Capelli said. The ponies out two and two together and realized the awful truth.

"No! Were they-" Twilight asked.

"Humans were infected by the chimeran virus were taken to conversion centers where they were put in cocoons. Inside, they were slowly broken down cell by cell and rebuilt as a chimera." Capelli said. "That is why we call them Chimera, they have two beings in one body."

"You mean all those alien things used to be h-human?" Rainbow asked.

"Yeah. I always asked myself if there was a fate worse than death. Well there it is." Capelli said. "Their human self is still alive but they are trapped in the chimeran body."

"I cannot imagine a more foul fate." Luna said crying. All those innocent people being forced into becoming a monster. The ponies realized the severity of the situation. That mean that each human casualty only increased the chimeran numbers.

"I'm sorry Joseph." Luna said again. "I have misjudged you greatly. Such horror is unheard of in these lands. I admit I would never have the courage to continue to fight as long as you have.

"Save it Blue." Capelli said "You haven't see the worst yet."

"Theres MORE?" Applejack asked wondering what could possibly be worse than what they had already seen. They continued to watch as the Invasion on San Francisco occured, than the firefight in the Chimeran Battleship. The hordes of grims in Twin Falls.

"Here were some of my closer calls." Capelli said as the memory bubble shifted to a high tower. Capelli was running up the stairs when a large insect like chimera appeared from the outside.

"SHIT!" Capelli yelled as he unloaded rounds from his Wraith into the creature. The insect like creature lunged forward and grabbed Capelli in between its mandibles and dragged him down. Capelli screamed as he felt the teeth and acid dissolving his body. He could hear Hale's voice over his comm. He pulled out his magnum and fire bullets into the chimera's face. Suddenly, the chimera stopped attacking him. It looked at him and left leaving Capelli on the ground heavily wounded.

"I'm sure you are all wondering why it didn't finish me? My guess is that once it tasted the chimeran cells in my blood it must have thought I was chimera. Regen kicked in just in time seeing as half my skin was dissolved." Capelli said. The memory shifted to what looked like a large dusty canyon. They saw Capelli sitting in some sort of aerial vehicle talking with some other humans.

"I can't fuckin believe that moron!" Capelli yelled.

"Get over it corporal." One of the other humans said.

"Where is this son of a bitch?" Capelli said as the vehicle landed. The ponies saw the man known as Nathan Hale walking with a more elderly looking human.

"Drop it Corporal!" Benjamin Warner, a fellow Sentinal said as he helped Dr. Malikov onto the VTOL. Capelli went up to Hale and pushed him.

"When you do turn, and it won't be long now. I'LL be the one who pulls the trigger! Do you hear me? I won't hesitate! Not even for a sec-"

"Offer accepted!" Hale said as he grabbed Capelli by the throat. "Now until that time comes. Lets consider this case closed!" Hale growled as he threw Capelli to the ground. Fluttershy stole a glance at Capelli and noticed something different. All the other memories he jut shrugged off but this one was different. She could see feelings of regret in his eyes.

"What did he do that was so bad?" Rainbow asked.

"Like I said before he was a sentinel meaning he was infected with chimeran virus. The only thing that stopped us from turning were viral inhibitors. Hale chose to rescue the man Dr. Malikov over getting his inhibitor treatment and then deciding to get to Chicago to shut down the Chimeran tower there. In doing so, he pretty much fucked himself." Capelli explained as the memory shifted to the streets of Chicago which were littered with dead bodies. Endless waves of grims attacked relentlessly.

"By the time we got to Chicago, the Tower had reactivated by another Tower in Iceland, My team was sent in to deactivate anti air cannons so we could send in reinforcements. The whole attack was shot. Within minutes of all our troops were shot down and killed. We were ordered to pull back but we decided to continue after Daedalus.

"Who or what was he?" Rarity asked getting queasy again.

"Daedalus used to be a man named Jordan Shepherd. At Project Abraham he had a freak mutation that turned him into this." Capelli said as an image of Daedalus came up.

"He was the supreme commander of the chimeran armies. We thought that if we killed him we could screw up the chimera's chain of command and give us some breathing room but again that plan was fucked before it even began." Capelli explained. The memory continued as the four humans entered the alien structure.

"I want fresh clips in every weapon. Nobody engages the enemy without backup!" Hale ordered. The humans stepped out of the elevator in a large room. The human Hawthorne stepped forward and saw brutally impaled by Daedalus who used his tentacles to rip Hawthorne in two killing him.

"Hawthorne! HAWTHORNE! FUCK!!" Warner screamed upon seeing his dead comrade. Many ponies shed tears upon seeing Warner's reaction.

"Command we got a friendly down, its Hawthorne." Capelli said somberly.

"Understood. Stay focused Echo, remember the mission." Commande replied.

"Yeah." Capelli said as he ended the transmission. "Warner you got anything?"

"Negative this ways clear." Warner replied. The remaining humans continued forward and they decided to split up. After encounters with hordes of grims. Capelli gave Hale covering fire with his Wraith from above.

"Good timing." Hale said reloading his weapon.

"I have my moments." Capelli responded.

"Echo come in, I got him! I found Daedalus!" Warner said over the radio.

"Warner do not engage! Wait for backup!" Hale ordered.

"SHIT! We gotta move NOW!" Capelli cried.

"HE'S HERE HALE! GET OUT OF HERE BOTH OF YOU!" Warner screamed as gunfire could be heard over the radio. Capellli and Hale sprinted towards Warner's position. Right as they arrived they saw Warner firing his gun.

"Hale! I need help over here-AHHHH!" Warner screamed as Daedalus impaled him through the chest with his tentacle and stabbed him numerous times throughout his body. Hale walked out and saw Warner's corpse with massive holes in the chest and stomach. Capelli looked as well but was stuck behind glass that he could not break through.

"Come on g*ddammit!" Capelli said as he fired his gun at the glass but it refused to give. He looked through the glass as Daedalus stabbed Hale through the chest. Capelli's fire eventually broke through the glass and he jumped onto the ground where Hale's body lie. Capelli could see that somehow Daedalus had not torn any vital organs and that Hale was still alive. Capelli picked up Hale and got out of the tower with him. The next memory shifted to what looked like a forest.

"After I got Hale out of there, I brought him to Dr. Malikov who put him in a come for six weeks while Malikov searched for a cure but the virus had progressed to far." Capelli said as the memory showed Hale walking outside. His hair had all fallen out, incuding eyebrows and eyelashes. His skin was so sickly pale one could see the veins underneath his skin.

"After Iceland their ships rolled over SRPA bases coast to coast. They dug up towers we didn't even know about. Then two days ago the fleet started moving south. Command tracked it down to Mexico. Whole fleet just hovering their near the Gulf. Nobody know what to make of it." Capelli said.

"Did the Perimeter hold up?" Hale asked.

"Pfft the Perimeter. Perimeter's gone, all we have left now is the Baton Rouge Protection Camp." Capelli said.

"Pardon me for interrupting but what was this perimeter?" Luna asked.

"The Liberty Defense Perimeter was a chunk of land built in the inner United States. It was a large fence with gun towers every mile. It was designed as a safe haven in the event America fell. Damn chimera rolled right over it." Capelli said.

"How many people were there?" Twilight asked.

"Eighty million." Capelli said. "All dead or turned into Chimera." This earned a gasp.

"E-e-eighty million?" Pinkie said. There weren't even that many ponies in Equestria! The memory continued.

"Three millions refugees who haven't seen so much as a supply truck in weeks. It's only a matter of time before they starve to death, or worse." Capelli said. "So are you gonna make your last hours count? Cause if not, Id like to know it advance."

"Let's go." Hale said as the two moved. After numerous battles with endless waves on enemies. They finally met up with some other humans carrying what looked like a large bomb.

"What is that?" Applejack asked.

"Fission bomb. Bomb so powerful it could wipe out everything in a six mile radius." Capelli said. The ponies awed at the destructive power. After more battling, the humans made their way to a chimeran shuttle which was docked. They saw Hale suddenly fall down and grip his head. Capelli pulled out his M1911 and aimed at Hale's head just in case.

"HOLD YOUR FIRE!" One of the other humans ordered.

"I'm fine!" Hale said getting up. Capelli reholstered his pistol as they made their way to the shuttle. They flew up to one of the large Chimeran ships. As they entered Hale and Capelli went one way while the other humans and the nuke went the other. After more intense firefights and battles. Capelli and Hale were informed that they could not enter the engine room and that it was blocked. Capelli and Hale continued trekking through the ship to find a control room to open up the door to the engine room. Capelli found a map of some sorts and used it to guide Hale to the engine room. Hale finally found his way to the control room and opened the door.

"Manual override is activated." Hale said.

"Roger that, Echo. We have activity. She's opening up, Helluva job." Major Blake replied over the radio. Capelli looked at the map and saw numerous bleeps closing in on Blake and the bomb.

"Shit! Major, you have multiple inbound hostiles! I REPEAT, heavy inbound force closing on your position! Sir, light the candles and evac A-SAP!" Capelli cried.

"We got contact! Hold them back! FIRE! Echo, move to the blast doors!" Blake yelled as the transmission cut off.

"Major, we're inbound to your position! Major, come in! Major Blake?! X-Ray Squad, come in! All X-Ray units, respond! X-Ray, come in! Shit! Hale... we have to assume the Chimera have control of the bomb. Whether or not Blake got it armed you can bet the Chimera are gonna get it off their ship as soon as they can." Capelli said.

"Can you guide me to it?" Hale asked.

"Yes." Capelli said as he guided Hale throughout the ship. Capelli heard Hale shooting over radio. Capelli looked back down and saw the Hale was almost at the bomb.

"Your almost there!" Capelli cried when he saw the Hale had stopped and the bomb was still moving.

"The door's sealed! I can't follow 'em any further!" Hale panicked. Capelli lost it.

"Dammit, Hale, find a way! The bomb's almost at the chute! If you don't get to it right now the whole fucking human race is extinct! Now FIND A WAY!" Capelli saw Hale find an alternate route and approach the bomb. He felt a sigh of relief overcome him. The memory zoomed forward to Capelli being surrounded by the imploding ship.

"Capelli, Daedalus is down and bomb is armed." Hale said over the radio.

"Copy that. Command, how much time do we have?" Capelli asked.

"Four minutes." Command replied.

"Understood. Hale get to hanger, I'll prep the shuttle for evac. This is gonna be a close one." Capelli said as he began to activate the shuttle. After turning all the switches and activating the engines. He ran outside to look for Hale. Capelli saw him sprinting towards him and the shuttle. Capelli fired his Wraith at incoming Chimera as Hale arrived at the shuttle. The two ran inside as the bomb detonated. Suddenly the memory stopped.

"Joseph? Is something wrong?" Celestia asked.

"Sorry its just that what happens next was something not even you have seen." Capelli said sadly. Everypony in the room was either crying or too shocked to move.

"If you do not wish to share it then you don't have to." Celestia said trying to comfort Capelli.

"No, you all need to see this." Capelli said as the memory restarted. It showed Capelli and Hale escaping as the bomb detonated and begin to obliterate the chimeran fleet. The shockwave caught up to the fleeing shuttle and caused it rock.

"HALE PULL UP!" Capelli yelled.

"ITS NOT RESPONDING!" Hale yelled as the ship came crashing down hard into the ground causing Capelli to get knocked out for a moment. When he came too, Capelli's head was lodged into the controls.

"Fuck, just once.......I'd wish you'd try landing one of these things." Capelli said to Hale but noticed he wasn't there. "Hale?" He called out as he exited the shuttle. He walked outside to see they were in a forest and Hale standing a few feet in front of him.

"Hale? What happened? Where the hell are we?" Capelli said as he looked around.

"Can you hear them? They are calling to us, it's beautiful!" Hale said in a deep demonic sounding voice. Everypony in the room felt shivers go up their spine upon hearing the disturbing voice. They finally realized what had happened, Hale had become one of them!Capelli pulled out his pistol and aimed it at Hale.

"No! He is going to is he? Rainbow thought.

"Stay back!" Capelli said as Chimera-Hale tried to approach him.

"This is just the beginning." Chimera-Hale said.

"Forgive me sir. It was an honor." Capelli said as he pulled the trigger and shot Nathan Hale dead.

Everypony had tears going down their eyes at this point.

"I killed Nathan Hale." Capelli said. "I had no choice, he was one of them. He could have stopped me but I think he wanted to die. Atleast that's what I keep telling myself. He was........my friend in the end." Now everypony lost it. How horrible it must be to watch someone turn into the enemy and be forced to kill them.

"Joseph, I'm so sorry!" Celestia said as she went to put her wing around his neck but he snapped it away.

"I don't need your fuckin sympathy and I sure as hell DONT want your friendship!" Capelli said. "You know what the worst part is? Humanity has lost, for all I know I am the only human left and in three months-" Capelli said. "I'm going to become of them!" With that Capelli stormed out of the house and back to his shuttle leaving everypony more traumatized than they had ever been.

Author's Note

Damn this one took a while. Hope you liked it!

Sorrow

Each pony felt heavy sorrow for Capelli. All those times they yelled at him, attacked him, and insulted him. A man who saw hated by his own family and abused by his own father. A man who never had a friend his whole life. A man who fought a hopeless war against a superior enemy. A man who watched as his team was slaughtered in front of him. A man who had to kill his only friend. A man who was going to turn into the enemy he despised.

"Why didn't he bring this up sooner? I NEVER would have said all those things to him!" Twilight said tearing up. She was so ashamed of herself.

"It;s okay Twilight." Celestia said hugging her favorite pupil. Celestia looked on Twilight as her own beloved daughter.

"You knew sister." Luna said wiping her eye. "Why did you not tell us?"

"Joseph requested I not tell anypony. He wanted to avoid causing panic." Celestia said. Luna felt for Capelli greatly, mainly because she too once had a horrible being inside her head that cost her dearly.

"He never had one friend!" Pinkie said bawling. Friendship was Pinkie's way of life and she could not imagine what it must be like not to have even one friend.

"I have misjudged him greatly." Rarity said. "I MUST make it up to him somehow!"

"We all do sugarcube." Applejack said sniffling. Everypony heard a sort snorting and sniffling sound in the corner. They followed their ears till they saw Rainbow Dash in the corner.

"RAINBOW DASH!" Applejack said firmly. "How can you be laughing at this?"

"IM NOT!" Rainbow cried as he eyes were tear stricken. Applejack backed off upon seeing her toughest friend so emotional. "All those times I called him a jerk! I was the real jerk! He had to kill his friend! I would never be able to kill any of you! No matter what!" All of the ponies went and hugged Rainbow. She easily felt the worst out of anypony there because she had been the toughest on him.

"I know you are all feeling for Joseph but you did not know. I know he will find it in his heart to forgive you." Celestia said before she remembered who she was talking about. "Eventually." She added.

"I'm sorry Princess! I failed you!" Twilight said. "I failed Joseph."

"It's not too late Twilight." Celestia said. "He is a good man, he has simply lost his way. He will follow you and your friends. I know he will stumble and fall along the way. It is our job to help him back up and one day he will join you all in the Circle of Friendship." Twilight smiled at her teacher's wisdom.

"Uh y'all?" Applejack asked glancing around. "Where is Fluttershy?"

XXXX

Capelli retreated to the edge of Ponyville and looked up in the sky. He had never felt as helpless and alone as he did now. Upon reviewing his life back at Twilight's home, he realized how empty and brutal his life on earth had been. This sorrow was quickly replaced by anger when he thought of the Chimera. He slammed his fist into his head.

"DAMN YOU!" He screamed as he continued to hit himself in the head hoping to hurt the growing chimera inside of him. He grabbed his head and pushed his hands into it as he gritted his teeth in frustration. He slumped against a tree breathing heavily as he felt the stinging of water in the corner of his eye. No, he would not show weakness, He sucked the tears back up before he started crying.

"Joseph?" A timid voice said. Capelli quickly shook his head and turned to see Fluttershy standing there.

"What do you want?" Capelli asked looking away. He was taken by surprise when he saw yellow hooves wrap around his chest. He turned around to see Fluttershy's head buried into his back. At first Capelli wanted to bat her away but this....thing she was doing felt so...warm and filling. He had never felt in before in his life.

"Better?" She asked as she broke from the hug. Capelli was sad that it had ended but that feeling he felt, he will never forget for the rest of his life.

"Why did you do that?" Capelli asked shocked. "Even after all those things I said to you."

"It's okay, it's already forgiven and forgotten." She said with a cute smile.

"But how?" Capelli said. How could someone forgive something that bad that fast?

"I know you didn't mean it." Fluttershy said as she sat down in front of him. Fluttershy looked at him in the eye. No longer did she see the angry and vengeful hate-filled eyes of before. Now, she saw eyes that were lost and confused. "I saw what you went through."

"Now you know why I hate everyone and everything." Capelli said crossing his arms.

"That's not true!" Fluttershy said. "I know you don't hate absolutely everything!"

"It's true. I hate my father, I hate the fuckin chimera, and I hate this fucking planet!" Capelli said.

"Do you hate me?" Fluttershy asked. Capelli looked down at the small pegasus, sure he hated her fuckin friends but her? Capelli wanted to say yes to prove a point but he couldn't bring himself to do it.

"I-I-" Capelli said before giving in and not saying anything.

"See? You don't hate everything." Fluttershy said. Capelli couldn't believe it! He didn't think a soul this pure and good existed anywhere! They sure as hell didn't exist on Earth thats for sure.

"Fuck me." Capelli said as he got and walked away leaving Fluttershy by herself. Fluttershy looked at the man as he walked away. Fluttershy didn't know how he could keep on going after all he went through. He was so brave, those monsters he fought were absolutely horrifying! Fluttershy had kept her eyes closed during most of the memory view but the times she did dare look, the things she saw happen to this poor man were terrible. Capelli walked through the forest till he came to his ship. He opened the hatch and walked inside and fell to the floor. The hug Fluttershy had given him was the first one he had EVER gotten. Aside from Pinkie Pie but she was off a few notches. He never knew the comfort of a mother or father's embrace, he never knew the sweetness of a friends embrace, and he had never known the warmth of a lover's embrace.

"Hale's probably laughing at me right now that son of a bitch." Capelli said to himself. The only comfort he took out of killing Hale was knowing that he was free of the chimera. Capelli looked at his five remaining vials of inhibitors reminding him he only had three months to live. Capelli already knew he was going to die. He pulled a bullet out of his M1911 and stuck it in his pocket for when the inevitable would come. Capelli wondered what he should do with this whole pony situation. He knew Purple, Blue, Pink, Orange, and White all hated his guts but Fluttershy was able to forgive him for what he said. Maybe he should ask them for forgiveness?

"I don't believe this, I'm going to ask five ponies for forgiveness." Capelli thought as he got up and headed towards Ponyville again. The trip was mostly uneventful. Capelli took in the natural beauty around him. Most forests back on Earth were destroyed from the war or were crawling with Grims and Chameleons. Growing up in the city, Capelli never really appreciated the country till now. He slowly let a smile crawl across his face as he took his most peaceful walk in decades.

XXXX

Smoke rose as fires were made to weld the wreckage back together. There were thirty life forms that survived the crash. A Ravager Overseer, several Steelhead Primarchs, two Chameleons, thirteen hybrids and two advanced hybrids, two howlers, two leapers, and one titan. The chimera looked around their surroundings and saw that this heavily resembled earth but the presence of the strange creatures they killed earlier (Which they had begun to feast on) were not of Earth origin. If chimera could smile then a grin would have crawled across the faces of the invaders. It was a new world to conquer.

"Yes, this is good." The Ravager said in the Chimeran language which sounded like a bunch of growls and roars to the human ear. The hybrids got to work repairing the ship that had crashed. It was much larger than the shuttle Capelli and Hale had arrived in. It sported gun batteries, a small hanger, a bridge, and a built in conversion center. Though it was no where near as large as the massive battleships the chimera had.

"The master will be pleased." One of the Steelheads said as it took a bite out of one of the dead manticore's thighs.

"We must scout this world out. The inhabitants may be more tenacious than the humans were." The Ravager said. Puny and weak as the humans were, many of them were vicious fighters. "YOU TWO!" The Ravager yelled to the two chameleons.

"Yes?" They replied.

"Scout the nearest city. Find out what we are up against." The Ravager said as the two Chameleons nodded as they cloaked themselves and became invisible. The Ravager turned to the two leapers and made strange clicking and screeching sounds to them. The leapers replied with their own screech as the leapers began to breed. The Ravager then walked inside of the mostly destroyed ship to the built in conversion center. The Chimera roared as dozens of tiny dog sized insect like creatures came out of the shadows. The Ravager was pleased. This world, like Earth, would belong to them.

Reconciliation

Capelli tried to figure out how he was supposed to apologize. He never had been one to say sorry after he pissed someone off real bad, mostly cause he didn't give a fuck if he hurt someone's feelings. In fact, the only time he ever asked for forgiveness was from Hale right before he killed him. Capelli sighed as Ponyville came back into view.

"Alright Joe, you can do this." Capelli said. "I'm sorry! There thats all there is to it." Capelli continued to walk as he came in to town when he saw a nearby pony with an aquamarine coat and a pale cyan mane. She had golden eyes and a lyre for a cutie mark. Capelli continued to walk past her when he saw her jump up and her eyes go wide.

"Why the fuck is she staring at me like that?" Capelli thought. It was the look of a genuine creep. She slowly trotted closer licking her lips. Alright that was just plain disturbing.

"Uh hello." Capelli said backing up.

"Your real." The pony said. "I KNEW IT!"

"Wait whaaa?" Capelli asked.

"A REAL HUMAN!" The pony exclaimed. Capelli basically shit himself, how the fuck did this pony see through the illusion spell unless.....Capelli walked to the nearby pond and looked at his reflection. Instead of seeing his pony form, he saw his human form.

"Son of a bitch." Capelli whispered. The illusion spell must have worn off! Fuck! What the hell was he supposed to do now?!?!

"Come here little fella." The creepy pony said holding her hoof out. "I got a little treat for you."

"SHIT! Time to run!" Capelli screamed as he ran for dear life.

"HEY GET BACK HERE!" The pony yelled. Capelli ran as fast as he could determined to get the hell away from that creep. Capelli looked behind him to see she was gone and he let out a sigh of relief. He caught his breath when he looked up and saw hundreds of eyes staring at him in fear. Capelli gulped as he took in his surroundings and saw where he was.

He was in the middle of Ponyville Marketplace.

Ponies began to back off with fear in their eyes, frightened of this new two legged alien. Some of the younger foals stared at Capelli in awe, impressed with the how cool the alien looked.

"Uh.. I come in peace?" Capelli said holding his hands up. The ponies took the hand raising as a hostile move and panicked.

"RUN!" A pony screamed as they all panicked and ran away. Capelli just frowned as the ponies around him ran for dear life. Ponies sprinted in houses and the sounds of doors slamming and locking echoed like a symphony across the town. Soon, it was completely devoid of life.

"Well I guess that could have gone worse." Capelli said.

"I've got you now!" Capelli turned to see the creep pony slowly trotting towards him with a crazed look on her eyes. "You are going to come with me! I am going to study you! And I am going to get a look at those hands! Those strong, large, fascinating hands!" She said. Suddenly the pony stepped away from him.

"WAIT A MINUTE! You are not a human!" She said. "Humans aren't supposed to have golden eyes like that!" Capelli was confused.

"I'm not?" Wait, thats right! I'm a sentinel! Not a human!" Capelli thought. He never would have thought in a million years that the chimera would actually save him.

"RUN! ALIEN!" The creepy pony screamed as she ran away. Capelli just shrugged as he continued walking. Man he was growing soft, normally he would have beaten or killed something that acted like that towards him. This place was starting to affect his mind. He continued walking until he heard a squeak under a picnic table. Something was hiding there and whatever it was, it was not doing a very good job.

"Shhhhhh, its right there!

"Quiet Sweetie Belle, he'll hear us!" Capelli just rolled his eyes.

"You know I can hear you." Capelli said earning a gasp and a scream from underneath the picnic table. "I'm not gonna hurt you."

"Wait a minnit, ah know that voice." One of the voices said. Capelli saw a small little yellow filly come out from under. He recognized this as Applebloom from earlier.

"Are you Capelli?" She asked a little scared.

"Yeah Applebloom its me." Capelli said.

"But ah thought you were a pony?" Applebloom said as the other two ponies came out from under. One was an orange pegasus with a violet mane and the other was a white unicorn with a pinkish mane. Capelli was never one to fall for something adorable but even he could not resist.

"I've got some explaining to do." Capelli said as he held out his hand. "Come with me."

"OH NO! HE'S GOT THREE FILLIES!"

"HE'S GONNA EAT THEM!"

"SOMEPONY STOP HIM!" Upon hearing that, Capelli whipped around and saw a mob of ponies approaching him. Capelli could have easily taken them on but he didn't want to cause further aggravation. He scooped up the three fillies in his arm and began sprinting, His longer legs won over the chasing mob's shorter legs. He continued to run till he saw Twilight's house come into view. He picked up the pace and barged in without knocking and quickly locked the door behind him. He let the three fillies down to the ground.

"Wow mister yer strong!" Applebloom said. Capelli turned to see Twilight standing there covered in water and a towel wrapped around her head. Capelli must have barged in while she was in the shower. At first he was embarrassed but then remembered these ponies were usually naked anyway.

"Twilight?" Capelli began to say as the unicorn trotted over and gave him a hug. Capelli looked down in shock, this hug did not have the same affection as Fluttershy's did but it still felt good nontheless.

"Um." Capelli said as Twilight continued to embrace him.

"I-rr-y." Was all he heard from her muffled voice.

"What?" Capelli said bringing his hand to his ear. "I can't hear you purple."

"IM SORRY!" She cried out loud. Well that was unexpected. Capelli didn't know what to do. Not only did he never apologize, he had never been apologized to.

"Uh its okay?" Capelli responded.

"I never should have judged you before I got to know you." Twilight said as she pulled her body away leaving Capelli's shirt soaked with water. Capelli gave her a death stare.

"Sorry!" She said with a nervous giggle as Capelli wrung his shirt out causing water to spill on to the ground.

"Yeah uh I came her for two reasons." Capelli said. "First, as you can see the illusion thing wore off and I just got chased by an angry mob."

"Oh yeah let me fix that." Twilight said as her horn lit and Capelli appeared as a pony again. Twilight's cheeks flushed upon seeing the strong stallion.

"Second I uh-" Capelli said rubbing his head. "S-s-s-sorreeee!"

"What?" Twilight asked confused.

"I said I'm s-s-sawree." Capelli said. "Fuck why can't I do this shit?"

"Are you saying 'I'm sorry'?" Twilight asked with a smile.

"Yeah." Capelli said gritting his teeth, Damn this was painful. "For attacking dragon and attacking you."

"Apology accepted Joseph!" Twilight said happily as she put her hoof on his shoulder.

"AWWWWW!" Sweetie Belle and Applebloom said.

"EWWW!" Scootaloo said.

"Fuck, glad thats over." Capelli said.

"Not quite yet." Twilight said. "GIRLS!" Capelli saw Pink, Orange, White, and Blue all come out with their ears lowered to their head. Twilight the went to three fillies standing next to Capelli.

"Girls, would you mind stepping outside? This is kind of private." Twilight said.

"OHH!" They all said causing Twilight to giggle at their pout faces, Those three were absolutely adorable. Rarity was the first to walk up to Capelli.

"My dear Joseph, I am so sorry for what I said to you." Rarity said digging at the ground. "You must let me repay you somehow."

"I ruined your dress and then called you a cunt." Capelli said. "Why are you apologizing?"

"Because I saw who you truly are." Rarity said. "Before I saw a rude, brutish, cold, hateful-"

"Alright alright! You could have stopped at rude dammit." Capelli said.

"Sorry darling, my point is that now, I see a brave man who has given more than I could ever hope to in my lifetime." Rarity said. "Do you accept my apology?"

"Sure thing white." Capelli said as she too embraced him in a hug. Next up was Pinkie Pie, Capelli gulped as he saw her walk up to him.

"JOEY!" She cried as she tackled him to the ground in a hug. "IM SOOOWWY!" She said in between tears.

"Hey its alright." Capelli said.

"NOOO IT ISNT! I MADE YOU SAD AND THAT MAKES ME SAD!" Pinkie said.

"Pink I said-" Capelli tried to say.

"I DONT LIKE IT WHEN I MAKE PONIES SAD! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Pinkie screamed as tears nearly drowned Capelli.

"AH DAMMIT PINK! I SAID IT'S ALRIGHT!" Capelli said. "Fuck!"

"R-r-really?" She asked sniffling with a face that almost gave Capelli diabetes.

"Yes for fuckin pete's sake!" Capelli said. "I'm uh sorry too."

"Why?" She asked.

"For breaking that what do you call it? Pinkie Promise." Capelli said. "How about this? I pinkie promise never to break another pinkie promise again?" Capelli said now knowing if he ever broke one again, Pinkie would decapitate him.

"YIPPEE!" Pinkie said as she began hopping around and began singing

Joey is the best pony! pony!
He is the very bestest friend for me! For me!
YIPPE YIPPEE!

"Alright alright already!" Capelli said stuffing his hand in her mouth. "Don't you ever calm down?"

"NOPE!" She said. Applejack slowly trotted up to Capelli covering her face with her hat.

"Um Joe? Ah didn't mean to kick you out like that. Ah was just scared of you and when ah saw you fighin mah brother, ah just-" Applejack said. Capelli looked down at her.

"It's fine. Just tell your fuckin brother not to be such a dumbass." Capelli said.

"Thanks Joe, I really appreciate it." Applejack said. "Family is important to me an when ah saw yer dad hurtin you-"

"He was a fuckin dirty piece of shit, that bastard never gave two shits about me and I never gave to shits about him." Capelli said. "If universal justice exists than he is being eaten alive by some chimera hopefully." Applejack nodded as she gave Capelli a quick hug.

"Rainbow? Is there something you'd like to say?" Twilight asked Rainbow Dash who just looked at the ground.

"Hey Blue, I'm sorry." Capelli said to her. Rainbow's ears perked up.

"What?" She asked. "Why are you sorry? Your whole time here I was the one who made you feel excluded."

"Don't get me wrong skittles, I still want to kick your fuckin teeth out." Capelli said. "As jerky as I am, I know loyalty when I see it."

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"You only attacked me because I hurt yellow over there." Capelli said. "I would have done the same."

"Really?" She asked.

"Yeah." Capelli said. Rainbow fell into his chest and began crying. He noticed she was crying harder than even Pinkie. He did the only thing he could think of doing and he hugged her as she unleashed liquid regret into his chest.

"B-b-but I hurt you so bad! And I said I hated you!" She said.

"Trust me there is nothing you can do to me that the Chimera haven't already done." Capelli said as he put one hand on Rainbow's head. "I forgive you."

"S-so are we cool?" Rainbow asked wiping a tear away.

"Sure thing fuckface." Capelli said as he let go of her. The ponies all felt a lot better now and Capelli even felt a weight had been lifted off of his face.

"Joseph, will you be our friend?" Twilight asked holding out her hoof. He looked up and saw her and the rest of the ponies with hopeful smiles on their faces. Capelli sighed as he brushed her hoof away.

"Sorry, friends aren't my thing." Capelli said. Twilight's eyes saddened as he pushed her hoof away.

"But why?" Pinkie asked. "Friends are the most super thing in the world!"

"BECAUSE I FUCKIN A BULLET THROUGH MY LAST FRIENDS HEAD!" Capelli screamed causing the ponies all to back up. "Listen, I appreciate it but trust me when I tell you. I am going to turn into a chimera and die in three months and unless you managed to replicate some stage eight viral inhibitors, nothing is going to change that!"

"Trust me Joseph, the most powerful thing is the magic of friendship. We will find a way." Twilight said.

"Together." Applejack said. Capelli looked at them but turned away again.

"Listen, you saw what that fuckin virus does. It is a virus! Do you understand? A microbacteria that is a biological parasite! Me fuckin having sleep overs and parties will NOT kill thing!" Capelli said.

"Even if that's true wouldn't you rather spend your last three months happily?" Rarity asked.

"I'm perfectly fuckin content right now." Capelli said.

"No your not!" Fluttershy suddenly burst out. "We all saw what you went through and it was the scariest thing I have ever seen! Nopony can go through something like that and be happy!"

"Why not?" Capelli asked. "I'm away from the two things I hate most, my asshole dad and the chimera. As far as I can see, that's something to he pretty fuckin happy about."

"Please Joseph!" Fluttershy said with a sad expression. "We want you to be happy. You deserve it."

"Trust me Joseph." Twilight said. "When I lived in Canterlot, I used to think friends were a waste of time and now I realize how empty life is without them."

"Seriously I have a question." Capelli said. "Why do you all give a damn? What's so special about me? In fact, I'm surprised you all haven't banished me or something yet."

"Why would we ever do such a thing?" Rarity asked.

"I don't know maybe because I'm going to turn into a parasitic monster from outer fuckin space!" Capelli said.

"We don't care what you will turn into!" Fluttershy said. "It's who you are right now that matters to us." She said as she put her hoof where his heart was.

"You still haven't answered my question though, why? If I were on Earth I probably would have been executed in this situation." Capelli said. "I'm just a walking weapon."

"You aren't on earth anymore sugarcube." Applejack said as she took Capelli's hand in her hooves.

"And you are far more than a weapon, you are still a person with a soul." Rarity said taking his other hand in her hooves. "A soul who was willing to give their life to protect others."

"One of the main principles we ponies believe in is second chances and that everypony has the potential to become great." Rainbow said.

"But I'm a fuckin asshole!" Capelli said. "Why would you want to be friends with me?"

"Nopony and nobody is perfect!" Pinkie said. "And because we all care about you!"

"You are a good man Joseph but you always judge yourself on the bad things you have done instead of reflecting on the good you have done." Twilight said holding her hoof out once again. "So I ask again Joseph, will you be our friend?" Capelli looked around again and saw the look on everyponies faces. He couldn't believe this was happening! These six ponies had shown him more care and compassion in the past few minutes than anybody on Earth had his entire life. He looked away and sighed before looking back up again.

"Fuck it you win." Capelli said this time taking Twilight's hoof in his hand instead of brushing it away. The ponies all huddled around for a group hug with Capelli being the happiest he had been his entire life. At that moment, he forgot there was even a chimera inside his body.

Author's Note

Everyone say a prayer for Delbert Belton, a WWII veteran who beaten to death today by two pieces of inhuman filth.

And when he gets to Heaven,
To Saint Peter he will tell.
One more soldier reporting sir,
I've done my time in hell.

Learning Generosity

After the group hug Capelli got up and went to walk outside, just maybe there was a chance that he could defeat the monster within him and even if he didn't. Well at least he will die peacefully. He walked outside and saw the three fillies from before sitting there beaming.

"Can I help you?" He asked. The three fillies jumped on him and hugged him which caught Capelli off guard. Why the fuck was everything hugging him?

"How did you know it was me?" Capelli asked. He had walked in looking like a human but now he was a pony.

"Well who else would it have been besides, I already knew what you looked like as a pony." Applebloom said. "Ah was wonderin, would you be our friend too? Applebloom asked. Capelli assumed the three had been looking through the window or had been listening in on what transpired in Twilight's home.

"Yeah sure whatever." Capelli said. The three fillies lit up with happiness as they hopped around Capelli.

"YAY A NEW CRUSADER!" The unicorn said prancing.

"But he already has his cutie mark!" The pegasus said defeated. Capelli sensed the sadness in her voice and looked at the three fillies' flanks. Not trying to look like a pedophile or anything but he noticed they lacked these 'cutie marks'. He figured these three must be down about not having theirs.

"JOSEPH!" A voice called out. Capelli turned and saw Rarity trotting towards him.

"I see you have met my sister Sweetie Belle." Rarity said as she patted the unicorn on the head.

"Sister?" Capelli said. Now that he looked, he could definitely see the resemblence between the two.

"So if Orange is Applebloom's older sister and White is Sweetie Belle's older sister than I'm guessing Rainbow is your older sister?" Capelli said to the orange pegasus.

"I wish." The pegasus said. "She is the most awesome pony in Equestria!"

"Rainbow Dash is her role model." Rarity said. "Little dear absolutely adores her." Capelli nodded. Both Rainbow and this filly both had tomboyish attitudes and voices.

"I don't think I caught your name." Capelli said.

"I'm Scootaloo!" She said as she jumped in the air with her tiny wings fluttering to keep her aloft. It looked to Capelli like she hadn't learned how to fly yet.

"Girls I would like to talk with Joseph in private please." Rarity said.

"Uh again? What are you two gonna do? Kiss?" Sweetie Belle moaned. Both Rarity and Capelli blushed upon hearing this. Well Capelli, not so much.

"Run along now girls." Rarity said as the three fillies took off. "Absolutely darling at the age aren't they?"

"Yeah." Capelli said.

"Listen Joseph, I wanted to make up for treating you so awful." Rarity said. "Would you like to go to lunch with me? My treat."

"I don't know if I can eat your food. What the hell do you guys eat anyway, hay?" Capelli said sarcastically.

"Yes we do." Rarity said.

"Well fuck me." Capelli thought. "Well I can't eat hay."

"Why not? Are you allergic?" Rarity asked.

"I look like a pony but I'm still human." Capelli said. "If I tried eating hay I'd either shit or puke my fuckin brains out."

"Alright then, how about.....grass?" She asked.

"Hay is dried grass so what to you think?" Capelli asked. Rarity sighed, even though they were on a better note now he still was rather rude but she would not let that ruin this.

"Umm apples?" Rarity asked.

"Yeah I can eat apples." Capelli said.

"Splendid!" Rarity said. "Shall we?"

"Sure." Capelli said as he followed Rarity to the cafe.

"Hey White?" He asked.

"Yes dear?" Rarity replied a little annoyed with her nickname.

"Earlier some greenish-blue pony was hunting me down claiming I was a human-" Capelli began to say.

"Lyra." Rarity muttered.

"What?" Capelli asked.

"Oh I'm dreadfully sorry! I didn't mean to interrupt!" Rarity said. "Lyra has an unhealthy obsession with humans."

"Wait I thought there weren't any humans here!" Capelli said.

"There aren't." Rarity said. "Some monkey's in the Everfree Forest were sighted walking on two legs and ponies began making up myths about them. One of the myths was humans."

"It's funny cause unicorns and pegasus are myths were I come from." Capelli said.

"Really now?" Rarity asked.

"Yeah, seriously I'm still having a hard time accepting the fact that I'm even talking to a unicorn right now." Capelli said as the two arrived at the cafe.

"Outside or inside madamoiselle?" A waiter with a french accent asked.

"Joseph?" Rarity asked.

"EIther one is fine." Capelli said.

"Outside will do darling." Rarity said.

"Oui, follow me." The waiter said as he brought them to a table. It sat two and it had a simple rose in the middle. The waiter put to menu's on the table. Capelli saw Rarity use her hooves to bring it to her face. He was very confused as to how the hell something without fingers can pick stuff up like that. He picked up his menu and scanned it. Hay fries, daffodill sandwich, daisy salad. He couldn't eat any of that shit.

"Where's all the meat?" Capelli asked.

"Pardon? Rarity asked.

"Meat. You know, cow, chicken, pig." Capelli said.

"Um we don't eat meat dear." Rarity said slowly. She was a little nauseous at the thought of Capelli eating a living creature but than she remembered that griffons and dragons were carnivores as well.

"But I saw a bunch of chickens and cows on Orange's farm! What use could they have other than being butchered and eaten?" Capelli asked.

"B-b-butchered?" Rarity said. "We don't eat them, we breed them for the wild."

"There is no longer any doubt in my mind, I am in hell." Capelli said. He rarely got a good steak or ham due to food shortages on earth and even here his wish could not be satisfied.

"Thank heavens Fluttershy didn't hear that!" Rarity said. "Speaking of which, the dear seems to have taken a liking to you."

"What do you mean?" Capelli asked raising an eyebrow.

"May I take your orders?" A waitress asked.

"Um yes I will have a daisy salad." Rarity said.

"I'll just have some apples." Capelli said.

"Do want those with hay or grass?" The waitress asked.

"Neither, just apples." Capelli said.

"Okay." The waitress said confused at Capelli's request as she wrote it down on a piece of paper. "One daisy salad and apples."

"I'm sorry Joseph, I didn't know that you couldn't eat so many of our foods." Rarity said.

"It's fine, thanks to the bastard chimera, fresh apples are hard to come by back on Earth." Capelli said. "Now what was that you said about Fluttershy?"

"Her name speaks her personality Joseph, she is very shy. Especially around newcomers but she didn't seem to have a problem with you." Rarity said.

"Surprising considering I almost strangled her to death." Capelli said. "Which reminds me! Why the hell does she have a full grown grizzly bear in her backyard?"

"She loves animals, it's her special talent." Rarity said.

"What is yours?" Capelli asked.

"Dress making." Rarity said.

"Well that was a no brainer, you work at a dress shop." Capelli said.

"What is you special talent?" She asked.

"Killing chimera." Capelli said.

"Oh now that can't be the only thing you are good at!" Rarity said.

"It is, I dropped of school and joined the Marines when I was seventeen. I never played sports and I failed math, reading, science, english, AND religion! Fuckin religion class! Do you know how hard that is to fail?"

"I suppose I wouldn't." Rarity said as their food was brought to table. Rarity used her magic to levitate her fork and take gentle lady like nibbles at her salad. Capelli started muching down the bushel of apples he was given. He looked up and saw her using magic.

"H-do-that?" He mumbled due to his mouth being full causing chunks of chewed apples to leak out of his mouth making Rarity gag.

"Please Joseph! Do not talk with your mouth full!" Rarity cried.

"Sorry." He said as he swallowed down the mush he was eating. "I said how do you that?"

"Do what?" Rarity asked.

"Magic." He said.

"I really don't know, sorry dear. Twilight would know more about it than I do." Rarity said. Capelli just munched down his apples. After the two finished. the waitress brought the check to the table. Rarity levitated out her wallet and pulled out twenty five bits. Capelli looked at the bill and saw the total was only twelve bits.

"You may keep the rest dear." Rarity said to the waitress.

"Thank you ma'am, you are incredibly generous!" The waitress said eagerly as she collected prize.

"Why did you leave her so much?" Capelli asked.

"Well I wouldn't be a very good element of generosity if I didn't." Rarity said. Capelli made a mental note to ask about that element shit later.

"If there was one thing that douchebag I called a father taught me, it was to always look out for number one." Capelli said.

"What do you mean?" Rarity asked.

"When I had extra supplies or ammo, I didn't give to some asshole. I kept it for myself." Capelli said.

"But Joseph, the whole joy of having something is being able to share it with the world." Rarity said. "Say you are very wealthy and you have mass amount of bits-" Rarity said.

"Bits?" Capelli asked.

"That is our currency here." Rarity said. Capelli smacked his face, he had just seen what bits were not even a minute ago when Rarity paid the bill. "Anyways, say you have large amounts of bits and you only spent it on yourself. Sure for a while it might be nice to have everything you ever wanted but life would still be empty and it would get boring after a while."

"Really now?" Capelli asked.

"When you give away what you have to share it with the world with no strings attached, it is much more fulfilling." Rarity said. "Most of the rich upper class ponies don't bother with giving away their wealth and are rather cold and isolated. One pony, Fancypants, is very wealthy but he gives away fifty percent of his earnings to different organizations across Equestria and he most certainly is a delightful and happy stallion."

"Well I really feel like an asshole now, I never shared what I had." Capelli said as the two exited the cafe.

"That's not entirely true Joseph." Rarity said. "Twilight said it best, you always judge yourself based on the bad things you have done instead of the good ones."

"My good deeds are far and few in between." Capelli replied. "I'm sure as hell ain't generous.

"Really?" Rarity said. "I saw a man willing to give up his very life to protect those who couldn't protect themselves. Ponies can give all the money they have Joseph but that can be replaced. A life can not be replaced." Capelli reflected on what she had just said. He did freely sign up for the Marine Corps but that was mainly because he couldn't get a job anywhere else. He also was willing to put the chimeran virus in him and become a sentinel but that was to avoid a court martial.

"I only joined the Marines because I couldn't do anything else." Capelli said. "And I only became a sentinel to avoid getting a court martial. Neither one of those was because my number one intent was to protect people."

"But-" Rarity tried to say.

"Thanks for the lunch White but let's face it. I'm a selfish bastard." Capelli said as he headed the other way.

"Oh Joseph." Rarity said sadly as she looked at the ground. Capelli walked away very frustrated, and coming from a guy who had been shot at on a daily basis for the last decade that was saying something. Had he ever been generous even ONCE while he was on Earth? Had he ever given away what he had to others?

"Man I suck." Capelli said as he trotted through town. "Guess its not too late to start." He looked for ponies that he could give something to but he didn't really have anything to give. Except his guns of course but he figured that giving some pony a machine that could kill wouldn't go through well with Celestia. He had no money he could give away and since these ponies didn't really wear clothes he couldn't give those away.

"Dammit! There has to be something I can-" He said as he felt something bump into him. He turned around a saw a mare with a cerise coat and a white and pale rose mane on the ground.

"I'm sorry I wasn't looking!" The mare said as she went to pick up the things she dropped. Capelli noticed she had wood, nails, paint, and a wide variety of tools. He picked up a wrench and gave it back to her.

"Thank you. I don't think I have seen you around before." She said eyeing him.

"I'm new here, names Joe." Capelli said.

"Cheerilee." The mare said.

"Why do you have all those tools?" Capelli asked.

"Oh there is a large hole in the schoolhouse ceiling and I'm going to try and fix it." She said.

"Isn't there some carpenter or repairma- I mean, repairpony you could go to?" Capelli asked.

"Well I was going to ask Big Macintosh. He's usually the one who fixes stuff around Ponyville but he is no condition to be doing it." She said. Capelli gulped and felt a surge of guilt course through him.

"Why don't you just wait for him to get better?" He asked.

"The weather team scheduled a rain storm for tomorrow and they can't delay it any longer without all the crops dying." Cheerilee said.

"Well good luck then." Capelli said walking away before he realized what had happened.

Joe you dumbass! This is why everyone hates you! "Miss Cheerilee?" Capelli asked coming back.

"Yes?" She asked.

"Uh I could fix the roof." Capelli said.

"You would!? Oh that would be so helpful! You do know carpentry right?" Cheerilee asked.

"Uh yeah sure!" Capelli lied.

"Oh thank you so much!" Cheerilee said. "Now I won't have to cancel class again!"

"What the fuck did I just get myself into? He thought as he followed the mare to the schoolhouse. When he arrived at the schoolhouse, Cheerilee told him what he had to do.

"Alright the hole is one left side of the roof. A few pieces of wood and nails should keep it closed." Cheerilee said. Capelli looked up and saw a hole the size of a baseball on the roof.

"Oh this won't be so bad." Capelli said relieved it was just a small hole.

"Um Joe, thats not the hole." Cheerilee said pointing to a gaping hole the size of a car on the roof.

"Shit." Capelli said as his jaw dropped.

"But well you are at it could you fix that small hole too?" Cheerilee asked. "One more thing Joe, I will be having students in here while you are fixing the hole."

"Isn't a little late to start school?" Capelli asked.

"It's only noon." Cheerilee said. "Besides, I have had to cancel class for the last four days, we have a lot to catch up on."

"Man these kids are gonna hate me now." Capelli said as he climbed up the ladder. He wondered how the hell ponies walked ladders or even used tools without fingers. He hoisted the wood, bucket of nails, paint, and the tools all on the roof.

"Alright." Capelli said trying to figure out what to do first. He leaned over to grab a hammer but lost his balance and fell into the hole. He landed flat on his face on the hard ground.

"Son of a bitch." He whimpered as he lied on the ground not moving.

"JOE!" Cheerilee said trotting over. "Are you okay? Should I call a doctor?"

"No, I'm fine." Capelli said getting up, numerous cracks were heard going down his vertebrae as he straightened his back. He walked back outside and saw angry looking fillies and colts heading towards the schoolhouse.

"JOE!" A familiar southern voice called out. He turned and saw Applebloom running over to him.

"Hey there." Capelli said. "What're you doin?"

"Goin to school." Applebloom pouted. "How bout you?

"I'm fixin the roof." Capelli said. "Where are white and orange?"

"Ya mean Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle?" Applebloom asked.

"HIYA JOE!" Capelli heard as Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo walked over to him.

"Hey kids." Capelli said as the bell rang. "You better get to class."

"OHHH!" They moaned as the walked inside the schoolhouse. Capelli could sympathize with them, he hated going to school. The only reason he enjoyed going was to get away from his father. Capelli climbed back up the ladder and began laying wood across the hole. He saw Scootaloo wave to him from her seat.

"Scootaloo! Stop pestering Joe and pay attention!" Cheerilee snapped.

"Sorry." Scootaloo said. Capelli got back to work and after laying the wood across the roof. He pulled out some sharp nails and a hammer.

"Now can anypony tell me what year Fillydelphia was founded in?" Cheerilee asked.

"MOTHERFUCKER! SON OF A FUCKIN BITCH! DAMMIT SHIT!" Capelli screamed. All the foals began to laugh as Capelli unleashed curses they had never even heard before. Cheerilee was speechless.

"SHIIIIIT!" Capelli screamed as he fell through the hole again and landed right on his ass.

"Joe! What is the meaning of-" Cheerilee began to say.

"Do you got any tweezers or pliers?" Capelli asked gritting his teeth.

"No why on earth would you need-AHHH!" Cheerilee yelped as Capelli brought his hand up to show a nail had gone clean through it. To the ponies, it looked as if a nail had gone through his hoof due to the illusion spell.

"Nevermind I got it." Capelli said as he yanked the nail out. The wound already began healing and closing and in a matter of seconds he was healed.

"Um Joe may I speak to you?" Cheerilee asked. She brought Capelli to the other room and began scolding him. "Listen Joe, there are young fillies and colts in there and such curse words are not welcome! So please watch your language!"

"Sorry it won't happen again." Capelli said as he climbed back up the ladder.

"What a loser!" He heard a pink filly wearing a tiara say to the pony next to her. Capelli wanted to fire the hammer down and hit her in the head but he had a job to do. He spread out the wood and this time he carefully nailed the nails into the wood with the hammer. After covering the hole with wood which took about two hours due to numerous mishaps with the hammer during which Capelli managed not to swear. Were in not for his healing abilities he would have ten broken fingers right now.

"Finally!" Capelli said as he hammered the last nail in place. He then took the bucket of red paint and began to pry the lid off with a screwdriver. He applied so much force that when it opened, he sent red paint flying all over himself.

"Fuck!" He whispered.

"JOE!" He heard Cheerilee scream.

"Sorry!" Capelli said. How the fuck did she hear that? Capelli muttered silent swears as he pulled out the paintbrush and started painting the area where he had laid the wood. After forty minutes, he finished.

"Yes!" He said as he climbed back down the ladder. Class had just gotten out and all the foals where heading home.

"My my Joe! It looks terrific!" Cheerilee said happily as she pulled out a large bag of bits. "Here is your payment, two hundred bits!"

"Two hundred? Fuck yeah!" He said as he grabbed the bag when a voice echoed in the back of his head.

'The whole joy of having something is to share it with the world"

"I can't accept this." Capelli said giving the bag back to her.

"But you earned it!" Cheerilee said.

"And I'm giving it back to you." Capelli said. Cheerilee was confused.

"But-"

"Give it to somepony else who needs it more." Capelli said. "The whole joy of having something is being able to share it with the world. I'm sharing the money I made."

"I see Joe, you are as wise as you are generous." Cheerilee said. "I'll send this to the fund for Foal's Memorial Hospital."

"I'm not wise at all. I just learned from a certain prissy white pony." Capelli said. Cheerilee smiled at him.

"Been talking with Rarity I see." Cheerilee said. "I can't thank you enough for this Joe."

"Send that shit to Foal's Monument or whatever the fuck that place was called, that's reward enough." Capelli said as he turned to walk away. Unbeknownst to him, a white unicorn lie watching in the bushes.

"I knew you could do it Joseph." Rarity said as she smiled at Capelli's newly learned virtue.

XXXX

Inside a dense forest. Two invisible monsters came across the edge of the treeline and looked out upon the small city below. The two beings focused their eyesight on what they saw to be four legged creatures running to and fro. They appeared to be the dominant species on this planet. The two beings internally smiled, these quadrapeds were even less advanced than the humans were! This planet was going to be no trouble at all to conquer.

Learning Laughter

In the capital city of Canterlot, Luna walked over to her balcony and focused her energy into her horn. It began to glow as the setting sun began to disappear over the horizon, replaced by the uprising of the white full moon which lit up the night. She let out a breath of air as she levitated back to the ground after the process. Even for an alicorn, moving an object that large certainly did take it out of you. Luna trotted back into her chambers where she saw her elder sister gazing at the night sky.

"It looks gorgeous Luna." Celestia said admiring her sisters work.

"Tis something troubling you dear sister?" Luna asked. She could tell when something was on Celestia's mind.

"I'm concerned about Joseph, would if he doesn't learn the values of harmony in time?" Celestia said. "You saw what destruction and havoc the Chimera can wreak, if he turns then they will be unleashed on us."

"I fear as well sister but even if he does turn he is only one man, if push comes to shove we will stop him." Luna said.

"That's what I'm afraid of Luna." Celestia said. "These Chimera are more of a threat than Discord ever was, we would not be able to just imprison it, we would have to.........kill it."

"Sister, I know you could never bring yourself to kill Joseph but you saw what happens. He will no longer be himself. He even said he'd rather die than become one of them." Luna said. "But you mustn't lose faith in him because you never lost it in me."

"Luna-" Celestia began to say.

"I am all too familiar with Joseph's predicament." Luna said. "I know what is like to be taken over by an evil entity but the elements were able to free me, they will be able to free him."

"You're right Luna." Celestia said as she hugged her sister. "We have nothing to worry about." Suddenly a wave of fire appeared through the window and out of the fire materialized a scroll.

"I wonder what Twilight has to say." Celestia said as she opened the letter.

Dear Princess Celestia.

Today I had lunch with our dear Joseph, he seems to have not understood the meaning of generosity. During our lunch we had quite an interesting conversation, he said that never once in his life did he share what he had to others. He walked off defeated and I thought I had failed him. That was until I saw him later. He had decided to help fix the hole on the roof of the schoolhouse. My dear friend Cheerilee offered him two hundred bit for payment and he took it but then he gave it back saying he couldn't accept it. He then had dear Cheerilee donate all two hundred bits to Foal's Memorial Hospital. I do believe our dear Joseph has learned the value of generosity.

Your loyal subject,
Rarity.

Celestia looked over the letter and was very pleased with what she saw.
XXXX

Capelli awoke with a yawn. This was the best nights sleep he has had since before the Chimera attacked. He got up and put his wool cap on over his head and walked outside. He grabbed his M1911 pistol just in case something unbelievable happened. He began his walk to Ponyville, he soon passed into the open field and passed by Fluttershy's cottage where he saw her feeding a pack of rabbits some carrots. She waved to him and gave him a smile. Capelli waved back and continued to town when he heard his stomach growl.

"Fuck I wish I kept some of those bits for food." Capelli said. He could not live on apples forever as they did not provide all the necessary nutrients he needed. Now some chicken or even a steak, that sounded good. As he walked the smell of baked croissants and other breakfast goods reached his nostrils. It smelled like heaven! Capelli felt himself glide towards the smell as the scent guided him to its source. He finally reached his destination and saw a familiar gingerbread house.

"Maybe Pinkie will let me have something." He said to himself. Before he even brought his hand to the door it flew open and a pink ball of fur collided with him.

"JOEY!" She yelled happily as she hugged him so tight the illusion spell started fading in and out and Capelli went from pony to human and back to pony again.

"Fuck are you mad to see me?" Capelli asked sarcastically.

"Of course not silly! I'm so HAPPY to see you!" Pinkie cried. Capelli just rolled his eyes, clearly she did not understand sarcasm. She eventually let go and he was able to get oxygen again.

"So what you brings you to Sugarcube Corner?" She asked with a cute smile.

"I wanted-" Capelli started to say before realizing he'd sound like an asshole if he said he came for free food. "To bake cupcakes again." He finished shakily. Pinkie gasped as she hopped up and down. Capelli could not figure out where she got his much energy from! The only time you saw that much energy was in a little kid after eating a bag of pure sugar.

"TO THE KITCHEN!" She said grabbing his hoof. Capelli realized she was going to drag him again so he gently brushed it aside.

"Um Pink? I have a bad hand or hoof, I'll walk myself." Capelli said. These lies were just digging him in a deeper hole.

"Okay!" Pinkie said as she grabbed his other hoof and began pulling.

"SHIT!" He yelped expecting to be dragged at the speed of light again but instead found himself in a slow trot. He looked at Pinkie who was trotting while holding his hoof. Capelli let out a sigh of relief. He looked around the store and saw numerous ponies in there munching down on some breakfast. The smell of fresh coffee and doughnuts lingered in the air.

"Good morning Mr and Mrs Cake!" Pinkie said dragging Capelli to her side and putting her hoof around his neck. "This is my newest friend Joey!"

"Why hello Joseph, we meet again." Mrs. Cake said.

"Greetings." Mr. Cake said as he carried a plate of croissants to a table. Before Capelli could say a word Pinkie took his hoof again and dragged him into the kitchen. He watched as she pulled out bowls, spoons, beaters, eggs, flour, sugar, and other baking appliances. She pulled out a chef hat and apron and threw it around her waist and tossed one over to Capelli.

"Lets go Joey! Those cupcakes aren't going to bake themselves!" Pinkie said. Capelli sighed as he put on the chef hat and wrapped the apron around his waist. Fuck did he feel like an idiot, all he wanted was some of those fresh warm croissants and nice steaming cup of coffee. Pinkie took one of the bowls and cracked some eggs and poured in some sugar and flour and began mixing. She looked over and saw Capelli just sitting there.

"Joey? Why aren't you making cupcakes?" Pinkie asked.

"I don't know how." He said. Upon hearing this Pinkie zoomed over to him.

"You don't know how to bake cupcakes?" She asked acting like Capelli didn't know how to breathe.

"In case you have forgotten, I just spent most of my live trying to fight off monsters from outer fucking space." Capelli said.

"I'm sorry Joey." She said looking down. "How about I teach you?"

"You can bake them, I'll just watch-" Capelli said as Pinkie stood behind him and grabbed his hands with her hooves.

"Ohh Joey, what fun is that?" Pinkie asked as she guided his hooves through all the steps. From stirring in ingredients to throwing the cupcakes in the oven.

"Pinkie." A voice called out.

"Pie." Another voice said. PInkie and Capelli turned to see the two cake babies crawling into the room. Even Capelli had to admit they were rather cute.

"OH MY BABY CAKES! SO CUTE AND CUDDLY!" Pinkie yelled as she scooped them up and hugged them earning a delighted coo from the foals. "Oh Joey aren't they the cutest?" She exclaimed holding them up to his face.

"Yeah sure." He said in disgust as Pound Cake drooled all over. Pumpkin Cake reached out with her hooves and grabbed Capelli's face and began pulling.

"Ah dammit!" Capelli said as Pumpkin poked him square in the eye. The sudden outburst caused the two foals to begin crying. Instantly flashbacks began to flash before his eyes of crying children about to be devoured by chimera. Time appeared to slow as he fell to one knee and clutched his head. Oh how bad he wanted to leave but he couldn't leave again after what happened last time. He slowly backed up and accidently stepped on a icing tube and began slipping. He waved his arms frantically to regain his balance but it was no use. He fell to the floor with a hard smack and his head banged on a shelf.

"JOEY!" Pinkie cried running over to him. Capelli shrugged it off but before he could get up, he felt yet another force slam into his head and suddenly his vision was covered with a white powder.

"Fuck my luck." Capelli said as he coughed from inhaling the white powder. Some got on his tongue and he recognized the rather bland taste.

Flour.

Capelli brushed off more of the white powder as he realized there were no more sounds of crying. It had been replaced with....

"Tee--hee!"

"Hahaaha!

Laughter? Capelli saw the two babies giggling at him as Pinkie joined in with them. Capelli was not one to take others laughing at him lightly. Had this been two other soldiers laughing at him Capelli would have beat their faces in but something happened that had not happened in a very long time.

He laughed.

"Joey? Are you laughing?" Pinkie asked. Capelli realized he had been caught and quickly shut up. "YOU WERE!!"

"Oh great!" Capelli said expecting some song to break out but instead Pinkie just hugged him.

"I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT!" Pinkie exclaimed.

"Thanks Pink but its not like ive never laughed before you know." Capelli said.

"What do you mean?" Pinkie asked.

"I've had my fair share of laughs back on Earth believe it or not." Capelli explained.

"Really? You don't seem like that kind of guy." Pinkie answered.

"Well believe it or not I HAVE laughed before." Capelli said. Pinkie wondered what would get this tough and mean guy to laugh.

"At what?" Pinkie asked intrigued.

"Lots of stuff. People falling down stairs, someone getting hit in the balls, people crying." Capelli explained as he noted the dreaded look on Pinkie's face. "What?"

"Those things aren't funny! That's mean to laugh at things like that!" Pinkie cried.

"Uh yes they are, you mean to tell me you have NEVER laughed at someone getting hurt?"

Pinkie shook her head.

"Oh come on! You laugh at everything!" Capelli said.

"Not everything." Pinkie said.

"Alright well what do YOU think is funny?" Capelli asked.

"Well, things that are silly, and cute, and cuddly, and funny, and jumpy, and plumpy, and fluffy, and furry, and happy!" Pinkie said. "You should never laugh AT someone, you should laugh with them!"

"Well that'd be a first for me." Capelli said.

"No, you did it a few minutes ago when they flour fell on your head." Pinkie said giggling at the memory.

"I did?" Capelli asked. "Holy shit I did! But why the fuck would I laugh at myself getting fucked over?"

"Laughing is contagious." Pinkie explained. "You saw the babies laughing and you laughed!"

"I still don't get where you're going here." Capelli said.

"Sometimes, all it takes to get a good laugh is seeing somepony else laugh first." Pinkie said smiling. Capelli reflected on this crazy ponies wise words. She was right.

"Alright Pink, show me some more funny shit." Capelli said sitting down. The two sat for a half hour as Pinkie did random things to make Capelli laughed. To be honest none of them really worked but Capelli faked a laugh so she wouldn't feel bad. It was in that moment a roasting smell reached his nostrils. He wondered what it could be when....

"FUCK THE CUPCAKES!" Capelli yelled as him and Pinkie darted to the oven which was now surrounded by a cloud of thick black smoke. Capelli coughed and wheezed as he pulled down the oven door and a large puff of black smoke blasted into his face making him fall to the ground as the the toxic oxygen filled his lungs. Pinkie scurried across the building opening windows as the smoke alarm blared throughout the house. Soon the smoke cleared out and the room was replaced with fresh air. Capelli and Pinkie were both covered in black from the the smoke. The two looked at each other, Pinkie started bursting out laughing and Capelli couldn't help but let out a light chuckle. Capelli felt his stomach rumble and realized he still had not eaten. Before he could say a word, Pinkie appeared in front of him with a large tray of pastries. Capelli attacked the food without mercy and let out a satisfied burp. He then decided it was time to go.

"Thanks Pink." Capelli said as he began to leave.

"Don't I get a hug?" Pinkie asked sadly.

"Ugh fine!" Capelli said unenthusiastically as Pinkie ran to him and embraced him.

"Jo."

"Ey."

Capelli turned to see the twins hugging his legs.

"Er thanks to you too?" Capelli asked confused as he finally left feeling happier than usual.

Maybe it wasn't a lost cause afterall.

XXXXXX

Back in Canterlot, reports of strange creatures were coming in by the dozens. One pony claimed he saw a creature with six eyes, another one claimed her dog was mauled by a four legged carnivore, and so on. Celestia was getting worried, these creatures being described by ponies sounded a lot like the Chimera. Celestia then put her thoughts to rest when she realized that the Chimera were on a different planet completely but then again, if Capelli could come here whats to say the Chimera counldnt?

"Sister We do grow concerned at these reports." Luna said. "A mare just told us she saw a 50 foot bipedal giant over the tree line in the Everfree Forest. It sounds a lot like the 'Titan' Chimera that Joseph showed us."

"I agree but we can't jump to conclusions yet, the forest is still 90% unexplored so who knows what odd creatures lie in the deep roots of that forsaken place." Celestia said.

"True but what about this one right here." Luna said dropping a police report. Celestia took a glance at it and read it over. "A stallion said he saw a creature in the shadow of the trees with six eyes and even snapped a picture of it." Celestia looked at the picture and saw in between the darkness of two trees was six golden dots arranged in formation.

"Luna you need to calm down, the Chimera are on another planet or even another dimension for all we know. There is no way they could get here." Celestia said.

"But Joseph came here didn't he?" Luna said stumping Celestia. Before she could say another word a scroll appeared out of nowhere with confetti and sprinkles.

"Tis Pinkamena Pie no doubt." Luna said.

"It must be about Joseph." Celestia said eager to get her mind taken off the possible alien invasion.

Dear Princess

Youre never gonna guess what I found today! A quarter on the ground!!!!!!!!!!!! And guess what else also? I got Joey to laugh!! He started laughing with me instead of at me! Even the Cake babies laughed at him! Isnt this just the cutest, cuddliest, happiest, most awesomemest thing ever! YIPPEEEE!!!!!!!!!

Pinkie Pie :)

Celestia felt a smile crawl onto her face. Joe was making good progress and in only two days! If he keeps it up he might be cured by the end of the week.

"Well did he blow it?" Luna asked.

"Quite the opposite Lu." Celestia said smiling.

Author's Note

Right, Im sure you all wanna crucify me for not updating but these months have not been good to me but im back now betches!!!!!