Equestria Addio

by ExtremeSpyro

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Crossover, Dark
Length: 964

When a certain pony gets sucked into the bloody, terrible continent of Africa, she'll find that she doesn't like it so much.

In the year 1966, a man named Gualtiero Jacopetti travels to the continent of Africa to film its new hellbringing of violence, chaos, and animal slaughter. What he doesn't know is that there will be an unexpected guest whom he will miss the chance to film.

~This is intended to be a rushed, violent story.~

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-06-13 08:50:01 UTC

Equestria Addio

EQUESTRIA ADDIO

Twilight Sparkle was sitting in her room one day. She was bored, and decided it would be fun to try to see if there were any new and exciting things to research! Just then, she remembered something. She remembered...a place she wanted to visit.

"So...there exists a world called "Earth"..." whispered Twilight to herself. "I wonder who even lives there?"

She had just finished the last touches on a highly-advanced teleportation spell she had been studying for months so far. She knew this "Earth" place, she just desperately wanted to visit it. Almost nobody knew what it was like. The most she found was a photo in a very rare book she read a few years ago. She still had the photo, and memorized it in her memory. She knew it could be dangerous, and on the very slight chance that it would be, she didn't tell any of her friends, nor Spike and Celestia about her planned visit to "Earth". If she did visit and hopefully return, it would make a great story. It would be a grand adventure, and she was getting ready to experience it first-hand! But she had to conjure the spell first.

She stood still, closed her eyes, and concentrated. Her mind was locked in a deep, deep concentration. She thought about that photo. She kept still, with her mind locked onto that picture for around five minutes. She opened her eyes, and...

...She was in a completely different world.

She looked around. She was in some sort of grassless dirt plain. Less than 500 feet away from her was a dead end of some sort.

"This is so exciting!" Twilight said to herself. She was so excited to do research that she briefly dropped all her senses and only paid attention to where she was going to research first. She wanted to go over to that dead end, maybe there would be something interes-

Before she knew it, Twilight was run over by many many horse legs. There was a stampede. She was so caught up in her excitement that she didn't even hear the stampede coming toward her at full speed. She screamed in pain and agony as the non-stop charade of horses trampled over her, endlessly. It didn't take long before she died. Minutes later, her body was nothing but a mutilated, bloody, broken corpse. Her head was squished so hard that it had exploded, as the dirty African ground had spots of brain matter, tiny fragments of her skull, and pieces of the skin on her head. Her mane, including the part that made it to the top of her brain, simply hung over the hole where her head once was. It was official; Twilight was dead.

As for the horses, they just ran into that dead end like the idiots they are. Those African guys who led them there in the first place proceeded to kill a few of them, or forcibly ride on them. One of the African people found Twilight's mangled corpse.

"My lord of Shashnuk! He has sent good gift of eating!"

He proceeded to sit on his ass and munch away at all of Twilight's body. He also took the time to find the brain matter and chew on them for a bit before swallowing. He started with her right front leg. He used a knife to slowly cut it and detach it from her torso. He enjoyed the taste of horse meat, it was surely unlike anything else he had ever tasted. So good. So pure. "I wonder if those idiot British whites will ever know the glorious taste of this?" One man can only wonder. He didn't care much what those silly whites were up to, though. He just wanted to enjoy his meal. So he ripped off most of the dead horse's mane using his bare hands. He liked his meat bloody, so it was a good thing that ripping hair out causes immense bleeding. To horses, at least.

He cut open Twilight's neck and slurped up some of the blood that came gushing out. He also bit the open wound, and tasted some nice horse neck. It apparently tastes like licorice. That was not enough to satisfy his hunger, however. So he started cutting circles into Twilight's butt checks. He grabbed the round chunks of meat that he extracted and proceeded to devour them in less than ten minutes. That still wasn't enough. So he cut open her stomach, ripped out the interior organs such as her heart, her liver, lungs, colon, all that stuff. He chewed them down fairly quickly. When he could see that there was nothing left within Twilight, he let out a huge loud burp. "Excuse me!" he shouted to himself. He decided to go for her tail next. It was quite oddly colored, but he didn't care. He just wanted to finish the last part of his meal. He cut off the tail, and all the pieces of it sprang everywhere. He hurriedly grabbed a handful of the tail hairs and slurped them down his throat. Now this really tasted like licorice. Take notes, fellow horse eaters.

Just as he was about to cut off the rest of Twilight's legs and sell them to some idiots who would probably keep them as a trophy, flies started buzzing around the corpse. "Aw, screw that! There ain't no worth in fly-infested horses! I'm outta here, dog..." The African man ran away, but not before whispering "Thanks for the dinner...bitch." to the corpse. What a child.

Twilight certainly learned her lesson that day; never venture into the unknown, cruel, violent world of Africa.

Even though she thought she was simply on "Earth" and nothing more.

"Earth" is a bitch.