The Mane Six Are Pirates

by BronyWriter

Rating: everyone
Tags: Spike, Comedy, Angel, Adventure, Shining Armor, Random, Princess Celestia, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 5317

The Mane Six are pirates who attack one of Celestia's ships

The sky ship: a pinnacle of Equestrian technology. With it, unicorns and earth ponies can now soar in the sky. On top of that, it now makes transporting massive amounts of wealth across city lines with a speed never before seen.

With mobile wealth comes pirates.

With pirates, comes the Mane Six.

Published 2013-06-13 21:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-06-13 21:00:01 UTC

Yep.

In the beginning, there was the sky. Or so we're told, at least. The sky could have come after the sea for all we know. Anyway, with the sky came the longing to fly from the ponies who weren't pegasi. All day long the earth ponies and unicorns would stare up to the heavens while their pegasus kin would cut through the air with their wings, playing games like "kick the cloud" and "kick more clouds than the other pegasi." It was a delightful time for the pegasi, but their ground-bound counterparts felt a little cheated.

One day, an inventor, whose name was lost to time, took one look at the ships that his fellow unicorns had become so adept at building, and decided that maybe... just maybe there was a way to make them fly. Finally the ground ponies would be able to soar through the air, just like a far bulkier and slower version of their pegasi cousins.

For months the inventor toiled, scrapping designs, inventing new parts, and infusing them with new magic that was never before seen by pony kind. Eventually, though, after nearly two years of designing his new ship, it was ready! He strategically placed his new flying ship on the edge of a thousand hoof tall cliff, certain that his flying ship would carry him into the sky. Of course, he drew a large crowd of pegasi, all of whom were eager to see if they would be joined in the air. The inventor readied himself, prayed to Celestia, Luna, Discord, and Faust that his machine would work, and pressed the ignition button, sending his machine into the air!

Unfortunately for him, his machine didn't quite work right. Either that or praying to Discord was a bad idea. He tragically plummeted to his death, much to the delight of the watching pegasi who spent the next week laughing their plots off about the whole thing. Seriously, if you bring this story up to a pegasus pony even today they'll still chuckle about it.

However, luckily for the other two races, the inventor's only son was undeterred by the fact that his father's invention had failed to such an extent that they needed a shovel and a mop to clean him up. So, he worked tirelessly for another two years. After the second year, his machine was complete! Once more the flying ship was taken to the edge of the thousand hoof cliff, and once more it started up. Luckily for the inventor's son, this time the machine worked! He flew into the air with his flying ship, forever ensuring that the sky would no longer be the domain of only the pegasi.

As the years passed, the new flying ship became used for more than just travel. A few entrepreneurial ponies saw that it could be used for business means, not just the feeling of being in the sky. So began the various air shipping companies. With the new technology they were able to bring more goods and services to Equestria faster than ever before!

Of course, with any new technology comes the risk of ponies abusing it for their own ends.

That's where the pirates come in...

* * * *

Fluttershy took a deep, refreshing breath as the cool air flowed through her mane. It almost reminded her of when her mother used to brush it every night before bed. The gentle breeze was like that gentle brush, straightening her hair, and making it silky, smooth. If piracy was this good for her mane, she would have to partake of it more often.

She opened her eyes and looked down at the railing next to her where her pet bunny, Angel, sat glaring up at his owner. Fluttershy softly giggled, and patted the little rabbit's head. "Now, now, Angel, I promised we'd get to the pillaging and plundering soon. Mommy and her friends just have to find the right ship for our boss."

Angel Bunny rolled his eyes and tapped on the railing with one of his hind paws. Fluttershy giggled and turned her head towards her good friend Applejack who was currently steering the ship. "Good afternoon, First Mate Applejack. Are we set straight on our course?"

Applejack shifted on her hind legs and turned the wheel of the ship starboard. "You betcha, Captain Fluttershy! The Harmony's Gambit is in top form! Why, Ah reckon that we'll see some merchant ship ripe fer the takin' any minute now."

"This is one of the busiest shipping lanes in Equestria," said Fluttershy with a giggle.

"We struck gold last week with that Manehattan frigate," Applejack agreed. She chuckled and turned the wheel further starboard. "Ah just wish Ah coulda seen the looks on their faces when they found out their cash had been stolen."

Fluttershy copied Applejack's chuckle, and even Angel couldn't help but crack a smile as he evilly rubbed his little bunny paws together. "What did you do with your share of the money, AJ?" Fluttershy questioned. "I never asked."

"Sent a decent portion home and spent the rest on a team of private investigators-slash-saboteurs ta find the Flim/Flam Brothers and their silly machine." Applejack gave her friend a wry smile. "Not that Ah'm a vindictive type, but y'all know that if ya mess with an Apple, ya lose. Simple as that."

"Makes sense. I spent most of mine on—"

"Oh I'm so sorry to interru-huh-pt, but I've just spotted the juiciest frigate headed straight for The Crystal Mountains. I figured we might stop it and "ask for directions.""

Fluttershy looked up at the ship's crow’s nest where Rarity was perched, looking through a pair of magically-enhanced opera glasses. Fluttershy could tell from her smile that whatever she had seen must be good. She only smiled that wide when she spotted a particularly tantalizing target.

"What kind of flag does it bear?" Fluttershy questioned.

Rarity's grin widened. "That's the best part! Their flag bears the insignia of the double sun!"

Fluttershy gasped and took to the air, landing next to Rarity in the clamped crow's nest. "Are you sure?"

"Am I ever wrong, darling?" Rarity hoofed the opera binoculars to Fluttershy and pointed in the direction of the frigate. "On the top-left, right next to their crow's nest. See it fluttering in the wind?"

Fluttershy peered through the glasses in the direction where Rarity was pointing. Sure enough, a frigate easily three times the size of their little dinghy was lazily floating towards The Crystal Mountains that made up the horizon. The flag perched on top of the crow's nest was indeed the bright yellow double-sun insignia that Rarity had promised. Fluttershy slowly lowered the glasses and narrowed her eyes.

"Celestia."

Rarity giggled and rubbed her hooves together. "Oh, our employer is going to be so pleased!"

Fluttershy turned to her friend and hoofed the glasses over to her. "Meet me on the deck! Signal to the others that we have a boat to catch!"

Rarity saluted her captain, and Fluttershy flew back down to the deck net to her bunny. "Good news, Angel! We've found a ship! One of Celestia's even!'

Applejack gasped as Angel jumped up and down, squeaking in joy. "Do ya really mean it? Is it actually one of Celestia's?"

Fluttershy nodded. "I saw the flag myself. It's one of hers."

Applejack let out an impressed whistle and looked up at one of the beams that made up the mast where a certain blue pegasus was snoozing. "HEY, RD! WE GOT A SHIP!"

Instantly Rainbow Dash snapped out of her slumber, nearly falling onto the deck below as she did. She used her wings to right herself and perched upon her napping spot, looking around wildly. "Wherzzat ship?"

Applejack pointed in the direction of the mountains. "Right there. See it?"

Rainbow Dash peered in the direction that Applejack pointed in. "I don't see any..." Her eyes widened and she leaped into the air. "Holy Celestia, is that one of her ships?!"

Applejack grinned and nodded. "You bet yer blue plot it is! Get down to the lower decks and get the others!"

Rainbow Dash saluted and flew down to the deck, running down the stairs the moment she landed. Fluttershy heard her calling for the rest of the crew, and she turned around just in time to see Rarity stepping onto the deck. "This is going to be a good one," said Fluttershy. "I can feel it!"

"Ooh, do you have Pinkie Sense too, Fluttershy?" asked a hyperactive pink pony that had just appeared on the deck. "My Pinkie Sense told me the exact same thing!" Pinkie Pie bounced over to the ships' railing and grinned at the rapidly approaching white and tan dot that was their target. "You know what they say: when my left eye goes in, it's time to be piratin'!"

"I highly doubt that anypony has ever said that, darling," Rarity deadpanned. "However, despite the inherent risks of attacking one of the ships in Celestia's personal fleet, I too feel like this will be very high reward!"

"It will be if we plan right," said Twilight, who had just walked on the deck followed by Spike. She used her magic to clean her greasy face off with a rag taken out of the front pocket of her equally dirty apron. "One of Celestia's personal frigates has to be extremely well-guarded, so we have to be very careful."

"She was your mentor, Twilight. What defenses can we expect?" asked Fluttershy.

"Well there's the obvious backup enchantment that ensure that the ship stays afloat under all but the most extreme circumstances." Twilight stuffed the rag back into her apron pocket and trotted over to the railing. "There will probably be at least five momentum disabling cannons on each side, so we're going to have to be fast if we want to avoid those. If the cargo is especially valuable, then I'd put the amount of guards on the ship at at least twenty." Twilight shrugged and turned back to Fluttershy. "Overall, hard to say."

Fluttershy gave Twilight one quick nod and turned back to Pinkie. "Well, Munitions Expert Pinkie, do you have anything for us to take on those kinds of defenses?"

Pinkie's already abnormally large grin widened, and she vigorously nodded. "Yes indeedy do!" From out of nowhere, Pinkie Pie produced a larger version of her party cannon and pushed it towards the railing. "I have four of these babies! They fire a shot that tangles the propeller of the enemy ship up in streamers and sticky cake batter! It stops them from moving, but it doesn't negate the magic that keeps them afloat!"

"Excellent, and once we're on the ship? What do you have for the guards?"

"That's actually where I come in, Captain Fluttershy," said Twilight proudly. "Spike, present arms!"

Spike grimaced and held out what appeared to be a baton of some sort. "Here. Twilight made this."

Twilight chuckled and patted Spike on the head. "I couldn't have done it without my number one assistant!"

Spike deepened his grimace. "I'd rather Alan Smithee this one, if you don't mind," he grumbled.

"What does it do exactly?" asked Rainbow Dash. "It doesn't look very intimidating."

Twilight repeated her chuckle and took the baton in her magical grasp. "Well, Rainbow Dash, I think we all know that looks can be deceiving. I've infused each one of these batons with a shocking spell! One little tap with this baby and it's lights out!" Twilight shot Rainbow Dash a smug grin. "We'll have any troublemakers subdued in no time at all!"

To Twilight's surprise, none of her fellow pirates seemed enthused by the weapon. Indeed, her five friends looked at it like it was going to start drilling holes in their ship. She frowned and slowly lowered the baton. "What? What's wrong with it?"

It was Rarity who broke the silence, despite the fact that her expression seemed to liken the action to using the colors green and tan on the same dress.

"Um... no offense, darling, but you don't really... you don't really 'get' piracy, do you?"

Twilight returned Rarity's words with a glare. "Hey! This whole thing was my idea!"

"Yes, and we've profited greatly from it, Twilight. It's just that..." Rarity tapped the deck nervously. "How do I put this? Your ideas and methods aren't very... piratey."

"We have a ship, we're going around and plundering innocent merchant ships, what's more piratey than that?!"

Rarity chuckled and put a hoof on Twilight's shoulder. "Oh, Twilight. My dear, dear, friend. Pirating is much more than simply pillaging and plundering. It's about the image! I designed our flag the way I did because it strikes fear in the hearts of our victims! When ships see it, they know that they are about to be attacked and that there is little the can do about it." Rarity gently took the baton out of Twilight's magical grasp. "If we attacked the crew with these, why, we'd be the laughing stock of the seven winds, would we not? Nopony is going to take us seriously if we board their vessel with such puny weapons."

"But they're not puny!" Twilight insisted as she took the baton back. "They pack quite a bit of wallop!"

"I'm sure they do, Twilight, but you're missing the point entirely. When our victims see these, they won't take us seriously at all. Even when we leave and they know how powerful these weapons are, they won't remember them with trembling fear as a collective. Only those shocked will. "

Twilight stared down at the baton for a moment as she contemplated Rarity's words. Finally, she let out a small sigh. "So you'd prefer a different weapon, then. One that's more intimidating."

Rarity smiled warmly at her friend. "That's the idea, Twilight. Why don't you go below deck and get those swords we purchased last time we were ashore?"

"But those might hurt ponies!"

Rainbow Dash groaned and facehooved. "Ya know, Twi, this is why you aren't the captain anymore."

"Yeah, Twilight, if you didn't want to knock ponies around a bit, why did you turn to piracy?" Pinkie questioned.

"Because it looked like a lot of fun!" Twilight insisted.

"And it has been, darling," said Rarity. "However, I hope you understand why your views on this career warranted an amicable change of leadership?"

Twilight wheeled on Rarity with a glare that would probably have done a good job of destroying the ship they were following. "'Amicable change of leadership'?! Is that what you call tying my legs together, putting a nullifier ring on my horn, throwing me in the brig and putting a dampening spell on the cell until I agreed to be ship's engineer instead?"

Rarity shifted nervously and idly scratched her foreleg. "Oh? Is that what we ended up doing?"

"We all remember that a little differently, Twilight," said Fluttershy with a placating smile.

"Yep! That doesn't ring any bells in this Pinkie's head," Pinkie Pie chirped.

Twilight growled angrily, but decided not to press the issue any further. "Fine. I'll get the swords. I'll dull them so you don't take anypony's head off by mistake, and I'll still install the shocking spell in them."

"There you go!" said Rainbow Dash as she lightly punched Twilight's shoulder. "See if you can make 'em squirt fake blood when we hit somepony too, would ya?"

Twilight rolled her eyes and beckoned Spike to join her below decks. With Twilight occupied for the moment, Fluttershy turned to Applejack. "How soon can we catch our target, First Mate Applejack?"

"We're keepin' a steady course, Cap'n. Ah say we should have her in range in about two and-a-half minutes give 'r take!"

Fluttershy nodded and turned back to the remaining group. "Okay, Pinkie? How fast can your cannons fire?"

"Three shots a minute!" Pinkie replied.

"Good. Get all four of them up here on the deck. I want you to focus on their propeller. Me, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash will focus our attacks on their cannons. With any luck they won't be as armed as Twilight thinks they are. We can have their port cannons knocked out before they know what happened. We'll fire one last volley onto the deck to take out as many soldiers as we can, then we'll board with swords. Sound like a plan!"

"Aw yeah!" Rainbow crowed.

"Sounds good to me," Applejack called out.

"Let's do it! Pinkie cried.

Rarity grinned and scanned the group. "Well, even if I did have objections I couldn't go gainsay the plan now." Her grin turned mischievous. "And I don't, in fact, have any objections."

"Good. We'll set out plan in motion once Twilight comes back on deck with the swords. Rarity, raise the flag on my signal. We're going to hit them before they even know what's happening."

As if on cue, Twilight walked back on deck carrying six swords in her telekinetic grasp. Rainbow Dash spotted them an immediately flew over to grab one. "These are so awesome!" She flew one lap around the deck, swinging her cutlass around as if mowing down waves of invisible guards. "Does it squirt fake blood? Does it?"

Twilight sighed, but managed a wry grin. "Yes, Rainbow, it does."

Rainbow Dash squeed and swung the sword again. Fluttershy smiled at Twilight and put a hoof on her shoulder. "Oh thank you, Twilight. I know it's against your sense of good taste, but trust me: this is for the best."

Twilight rolled her eyes as she distributed the swords to the crew. Angel took the time to hop onto Fluttershy's head, where he strategically hid himself in her mane as best as he could. Pinkie Pie pulled three more cannons out of nowhere, and placed them in a row on the side of the ship. Content that her crew was ready, she nodded. The other three gunners took it as a signal to place themselves behind their cannons.

"Are we ready, Applejack?" asked Fluttershy. Applejack nodded and pushed a throttle next to the steering wheel. Their ship lurched forwards, placing it only a few hooves behind their target. Fluttershy grinned when she saw the ponies collected on the decks. Twilight was right: there were about twenty guards and five cannons on the side. One quick sweep would take them all out. They could fire twelve shots a minute between the four cannons.

Fluttershy raised her foreleg into the air. "Pinkie Pie, be ready to hit their propeller!"

"Aye, aye, captain!" Pinkie Pie stuck the tip of her tongue out of her mouth and closed one eye as she aimed the cannon directly at the propeller. At this range it would be difficult to miss, especially for an expert markspony like Pinkie Pie.

"Ready... aim..." Fluttershy's eyes narrowed as the ship drew closer, and she swung her foreleg down. "FIRE!"

With one quick burst from the cannon, a ball of streamers and batter so large it was a wonder it fit in the cannon at all fired, hitting the propeller dead on. The mess of streamers and batter instantly got tangled up in the propellers, and the ship screeched to a halt in midair.

"First Mate Applejack! Bring us in on her side!"

Applejack saluted and spun the ship's wheel, maneuvering the ship so that it was directly side-by-side with their target. The four cannons each sounded off, jamming four of the opposing ship's five cannons. A fifth shot from Pinkie jammed the fifth cannon, and two shots from Rarity and Rainbow disabled ten of the guards on the deck.

"Raise the flag!"

"Of course, Captain Fluttershy!"

Rarity fired up her horn, illuminating a large square of black cloth with her magical aura. The cloth raised high into the air, tying itself around the ship's flagpole. Rarity grinned as her design flapped in the wind. The flag was emblazoned with the image of the Element of Magic, though it was blood red. Underneath the Element the words "Born to Pirate" were sewn in. Rarity sighed contentedly. "One of my better designs, I think."

"Okay, crew, this is it!" Fluttershy called out. "Spike, take the wheel! Applejack, join us on the boarding party! Everypony who can't fly grab your ropes and let's do this thing!"

The six pirates cheered. The two pegasi flew over onto the opposing deck while the other four swung over on ropes. Fluttershy quickly counted seventeen free guards and crew members with an unknown number below decks guarding whatever it was that the ship was transporting.

The second the group landed, one of the more proactive guards charged towards Rarity with a spear in his grasp. Rarity expertly side-stepped and swung her sword at his neck, flawlessly hitting her mark. The guard silently fell to the ground as fake blood stained his fur and the deck red. The remaining guards and crew gasped and Rarity swung her sword out. "Anypony else like to try anything foalish?" she growled. "I offer now as the time!"

One-by-one the guards and armed crew dropped whatever weapons they were carrying. Rarity nodded and gathered all of them up before tossing them overboard. "I do hope they don't hit anypony on the way down," she muttered.

"Okay listen up!" Rainbow Dash called out. "I need four of you dunderheads to come with us below decks to get every single valuable thing on this ship! Once you do that, I want you to toss all of your cannons overboard with the rest of your weaponry! The minute everything is loaded onto our ship, we'll get out of your manes!"

Fluttershy selected four earth pony guards and had them escort all but her and Twilight below deck. The four pirates were met with little resistance, and soon thirty chests were carried onto the Harmony's Gambit.

"Okay, everypony, thank you for being so nice and cooperative," said Fluttershy. She glanced down at the stunned guard and lightly tapped him on the head. "Well, except him. He wasn't very cooperative."

"But, gentlecolts, we must bid thee adieu!"

"WAIT RIGHT THERE!" yelled a booming voice. "I demand that you cease this at once!"

The six pirates all exchanged curious glances as the source of the voice was unknown to them. However, it soon became clear when an absolutely massive earth pony waddled onto the deck from the direction of the captain's cabin.

"Wowee is he fat!" said Pinkie Pie.

The captain sputtered a few unintelligible words as he quivered in indignation, earning snickers from Pinkie's friends. "I am not fat!" the captain insisted. "But I am very angry with you! How dare you steal from one of Celestia's private ships! You can't do that!"

Rarity cocked her head. "Why, whatever do you mean?"

"Yeah, it kinda looks like we just did, doesn't it?" Twilight pointed out. "I mean, your cargo is now our plunder, so we win, don't we?"

"Win?" The captain's eyes widened and a vein bulged out in his neck. "WIN?!"

"Yes. Win," said Fluttershy. "Now if you'll excuse, us..."

"I will not excuse this behavior! Get back here at once!"

The captain took a step towards Fluttershy. His teeth were bared and his eyes betrayed no hint of mercy. Before anypony could do anything, Angel sprung out of Fluttershy's mane directly into the face of the captain. The fat pony howled in surprise as Angel began scratching and biting at his face, allowing the six pirates to mosey on back to their ship.

"Goodbye, captain!" Fluttershy called out as Twilight lifted Angel off of his face. "Have a great day."

"Full speed ahead, Mr. Spike!" Applejack called out. "We have some distance to put between us and them!"

Spike saluted and threw all of his body weight into the throttle and the ship lurched forward. Within seconds the ship was a mere speck in the distance. Applejack trotted back up to the wheel and pulled the throttle back a little to slow the ship down.

"We did it, girls!" Twilight cried.

"Just look at this haul!" said Rainbow Dash as she threw open one of the chests. "There have to be at least ten thousand bits in each one of these chests!"

Twilight's grin widened as she opened up a chest to see it filled to the brim with gold coins. "And the best part is: we got away totally—"

All of a sudden, a symphony of loud noises filled the air. The low, loud vibrations that could only have come from ships much larger than the one that Twilight and her friends currently stood on became louder. Twilight gasped as she saw a trio of large, dark masses coming through the clouds straight for them. "Applejack, get us out of here!"

Applejack threw her whole body into the throttle, but before the ship could pick up real steam the lead ship fired a green beam of pure magic at their vessel. It completely engulfed their ship, trapping them in mid-air.

"A concentrated magical freeze beam!" Rarity gasped. She threw a foreleg over her forehead. "Whatever shall we do?!"

"We'll think of something, girls!" said Twilight. She readied her sword just in time to see a whole platoon of guards flying down towards them. "We won't go down without a..."

Approximately two minutes later, all eight members of the Harmony's Gambit were on the deck of the lead attacking ship. All six ponies had hoofcuffs on their fore and hind legs, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash had their wings tied down and Twilight and Rarity had magic nullifier rings on their horns. To complete the picture Spike and Angel were thrown into small cages.

"... Fight," Twilight finished.

Spike sighed. "Suuuure. A cage for the baby dragon." He facepalmed and leaned his head against one of the bars. "This is so humiliating."

Twilight looked over her trapped friends and shrugged. "Well, girls, it was pretty fun while it lasted. It does seem like this is the end of the line for us."

"Our employer will be most displeased," said Rarity with a sigh. "I do hope she's not too put out by our imminent executions."

"Dunno, Rares, but at the very least we made that fat pony look like the buffoon he was."

A small smile crossed Rarity's face. "Yes, it does kind of make it all worth it, doesn't it?"

Further conversation was cut off when none other than Shining Armor stepped onto the deck. The gathered soldiers saluted. "At ease, gentlecolts." Shining Armor walked over to the captured pirates and fixed them all with a glare. "Just what were you doing?"

"I thought it was obvious, BBBFF: we were hijacking that ship down there for its loot."

"We were being pirates!" Pinkie squeed.

"I know that!" Shining Armor snapped. "Why in Celestia's name did you six turn to piracy?!"

"Uh..." Twilight glanced back at her group. "I think it was boredom. Wasn't that it?"

"Yeah, I think that's what we agreed on," Rainbow Dash confirmed.

Twilight nodded and turned her attention back to her brother. "Yeah. We did this because we were bored."

Shining Armor let out a deep, pained breath and rubbed one of his temples. "I'm so disappointed in you Twilie. How could you do this to our family, to Celestia?!"

"Well we didn't plan to get caught," Twilight deadpanned.

"Do you have any idea what this could do to my career?!" Shining Armor retorted. "My little sister is executed for piracy! Think of how that's going to affect everypony!"

Twilight shrugged. "Well, I'll be dead. I have no idea how it affects you guys."

Shining Armor's eyes narrowed and he let out a snort of disgust. "Set a course for Canterlot. Princess Celestia will want to deal with this herself."

* * * *

When the ship landed, the eight pirates were led into a police wagon which was pulled directly to the castle. Twilight was thankful that nopony seemed to care that a police wagon was being taken there, and it allowed her friends to get a little rest before the meeting with the princesses themselves.

She got no sleep herself.

After an hour ride, the pirates were led out of the wagon and directly to the throne room where they were to meet their judgment. The massive wooden doors in front of them opened up, revealing a hall that was completely empty save for the two regal sitting on ornate thrones in front of them. They stopped just fifteen feet in front of the thrones and each pony bowed.

"So. You are all pirates." Princess Celestia sighed and closed her eyes. "I cannot believe this is happening."

"Yeah, well, what are you gonna do?" said Rainbow Dash with a shrug. "Sometimes life doesn't always go your way."

"Thou doth realize that the penalty for this crime is death!" Luna snarled.

"Well the dice just roll that way sometimes, Princess Luna," said Rarity. "It's unfortunate, but it happens."

Princess Celestia slowly nodded. "Since you eight are so obviously guilty, I must ask you to follow me through this door. We shall iron out the details of your punishment there."

The two princesses stepped off of their thrones and flanked the guilty ponies. They shepherded them through a small door behind the thrones. Twilight took a deep breath before entering. It was time to face her destiny.

* * * *

"And then Angel leaped out of Fluttershy's mane straight into that guy's face!"

Princess Celestia's private conference hall was filled with the laughter of everypony present. Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie were holding each other up they were laughing so hard, as the memory of the captain's face replayed in their minds.

"Oh I do wish I had been there, Twilight," said Celestia with a smile. "He's such an insufferable fool."

Twilight giggled and leaned back in her chair. Contrary to what the guards likely believed, the eight pirates were not being sentenced to death. Instead, they were sharing a lavish meal with the princesses and recounting their tale.

"You did a great job on that ship, Twilie," Shining Armor chortled. "I didn't know you were that ruthless when it came to your death."

Twilight smirked and shrugged. "What can I say? I can be a great actress if I need to be."

Shining Armor's face twisted into an amused smirk. "If so that's the first I've seen of it. You must have really been practicing your grace under pressure."

"Well I helped too," Princess Celestia pointed out. "She had to pass those tests before I allowed her to take the ship."

"Ah take it part of passin' the test was not freakin' out about the test?" Applejack joked.

"That was pretty much the test," Celestia replied. "That's why it took so long for this to get going."

Twilight weakly chuckled and scratched the back of her neck. "Well... I got it eventually, didn't I?"

"Yes, but it seems that you failed some other aspects of the mission I gave you. Do you know what they were?"

Twilight's gaze lowered to the floor and she flattened her ears. "Don't count the money or slow down until you get to the hiding spot."

"Correct," said Celestia with a nod. "You didn't do that and you got caught. I'm afraid that you can't go pirating anymore, Twilight."

"Awwwww," chimed all six ponies at once.

"Not even one more try?" Pinkie whined.

Celestia shook her head. "I'm sorry, but it's just too dangerous." She held up a hoof to forestall any more objections. "But..." A sly smile crossed Celestia's face and she leaned in closer to the group. "How would you feel about robbing stagecoaches?"

Author's Note

See, this is what happens when I think up a one-shot just before going to bed then write it on just over three hours of sleep.