*Beep*

“Whazzat?” I groan.

*Beep*

My mind is starting to come back around. I slowly open my eyes to a dull green ceiling. There is a window to my right and the sun is shining directly on my face. I try to turn away from the bright light, but something tugs at my arm.

*Beep*

Upon closer examination I see that an IV tube is stuck inside my forearm pumping cold fluid into my blood stream.

*Beep*

I turn my head to the direction of the beeping noise and see that a heart monitor is tracking my heart rate. Behind the monitor is an opaque curtain that’s blocking my view of the rest of the room. The room itself is relatively plain looking. I see another monitor hanging from the ceiling towards the foot of my bed. On the screen is an x-ray image of what looks like a femur bone. This image incites me lift up the soft quilt covering my body and examine my own leg. I see that I’m completely naked underneath the sheets.

I guess they don’t have gowns big enough for me here…

*Beep*

My whole left leg is covered from foot to groin with white linens. A few spots on the cloth have red sticky spots leaking through. Needless to say it’s not a pleasant sight. My whole body is also sore and aching.

“Oh shi…”

*Beep*

The heart monitor interrupts my obscenity and I once again look over at the green line tracing the rhythm of my pulse on its screen.

Well… at least I’m still alive. No thanks to that angry kitty.

I roll my head back to its original position and stare up at the dull ceiling.

I’ve been transported to Narnia and already met the Lion. When are the Wardrobe and Witch gonna show up?

I take a moment to collect my thoughts. I think back on everything that has happened since I arrived in this crazy Wonderland. I remembered waking up in the peaceful meadow only to end up trapped in a sinister forest. Then, Zecora had found me lying unconscious and, through some magnificent kindness, dragged me back to her hut. She’d offered me tea and even explained the workings of this wondrous land. She said how this world was ruled by magical ponies and their princesses. There were Earth Ponies, Pegasi, Unicorns, and royal ponies she had called Alicorns. All of this information was incredible to me, but I somehow managed to accept it all as reality.

I don’t feel as if I have died and this is my eternal heaven or hell. After all, I can still feel pain. And anyway, even with all the mythical creatures and monsters it still feels real. I’ve always loved adventure tales in fantasy lands ever since I was a little kid and now I’m actually living one.

I mean c’mon! I’ve met a talking zebra, frantic white rabbit, and a Pegasus! I even fought a freakin’ Manticore! Though not without injury. But that just makes it all the more awesome because now I know it’s all real! I’m Harry Potter! I’m Frodo! Hell, I’m Hercules! …I wonder if that Pegasus will let me ride on it… it’s probably too small… Oh yeah! Whatever happened to it anyway?

I scoot myself up the bed a little wincing slightly as my leg aches. Propping my body up with my elbows, I look excitedly around the room willing the Pegasus to pop into existence in front of me. My heart monitor picks up the tempo of my excitement.

*Beep* *Beep* *Beep*

“Hey are you alright over there?”

I turn to look as the curtain is pulled back revealing the aforementioned Pegasus. Unlike me, it’s dressed in a light green gown. I start to feel pretty exposed and vulnerable as our eyes meet and the beeping picks up speed once more.

“Hey dude, I don’t like being locked up in this stuffy room either, but you’re gonna give yourself a heart attack.”

I turn away feeling my face getting hot. I pull the covers up a little more and take a deep breath. The beeping slows.

“Uh y-yeah…sorry about that,” I stammered.

Great first impression.

“So hey…” starts the Pegasus.

I face it again and see it looking down at its twiddling hooves.

Is it blushing?

“So I wanted to say… thanks… y’know…for saving me and stuff,” she confesses in a near whisper.

A smile creeps its way onto my face.

“Don’t worry ‘bout it. I mean you saved me first…I was just returning the favour.”

The Pegasus looks back at me and shows a big smile.

For the first time I take a good look at the winged pony before me. It has the most beautiful amethyst eyes. Its rainbow themed mane came down just above the gorgeous orbs. From what I can tell the rest of its body is a light shade of cyan that reminds me of the sky. One of its wings is tucked into its side, but the other hangs over the edge covered in bandages.

I focus back on the Pegasus’s eyes and feel my face get warm again. Quickly, I divert my attention back to the uninteresting sheets of my bed.

“Seems like we’re gonna be in here for a while… uh Miss…?”

“Rainbow Dash. But you can drop the ‘Miss’. Makes me sound middle-aged or something,” she answers to my relieved smile.

I was assuming she was female, but I’m not one to simply say it without knowing for sure. I remember I was trying to pick up some girl back home at a bar. I was totally plastered, but managed to get her back to my apartment.

I was just a little bit surprised when she dropped her skirt and something was there that sobered me up more than a coffee ever could. The guys won’t ever let me live that one down…

The thought of my friends makes me start to feel a little depressed.

Do I even belong in this world? How did I get here to begin with anyway? I remember hearing that voice suggesting we should go to the 80...

The 80 was a bridge that ran over the Schuylkill Canal in Pheonixville back home. We would always jump off it when we were kids. I remember that was what had given me my love of extreme sports.

“Hey, what’s wrong? You can keep the ‘Miss’ if it really means that much to ya”

I snap back to reality.

“Oh… nothin’. I’m just a little hungry. Oh! and I’m Anthony by the way,” I say not feeling too great about dodging the question, but the truth is I am starving.

“Yeah me too. The nurse should be making her rounds pretty soon, though,” she remarks while glancing up at the clock.

“Heh, sounds like you’ve been here before,” I muse.

“Yeah well, sometimes I get a minor injury practicing my sweet signature moves!”

“Sweet signature moves?” I question raising my brow.

“You got that right! I practice my flying maneuvers everyday so that I’ll be able to impress Spitfire or Blaze!”

“And they are…?”

“Elite members of the Wonderbolts, duh!” she answers with an exasperated look upon her blue face.

Oh of course…

“Hey, I’ve been meaning to ask you something…” she starts.

“What?”

“No offense or anything, but what exactly are you?”

“A human… and no offense taken.”

“A hew-man?”

“Yep!”

A human (whatever that is) named Anthony lies next to me in this cramped hospital ward. He kind of reminds me of a monkey, but only without any fur on him besides his face and the top of his head. The hair comes down to meet his eye brows; dark brown and wavy. His eyes are also brown like milk chocolate and seem to always be smiling regardless of whether his mouth was curved up or down. This feature of his face makes him look perpetually friendly and easy to talk to.

I have never been very trusting of strangers, though. After all, what if they’re out to take over Equestria like Nightmare Moon, Queen Chrysalis, or Discord tried to.

Yeah, tried and got their flanks sufficiently whipped by yours truly. With a little help from my friends, too.

But nonetheless, my loyalty towards Princess Celestia, Equestria, and most of all my friends, makes me pretty weary of random creatures showing up out of nowhere. It’s not because he’s not a pony or anything like that.

I’m not a racist or something. Hay! I even have a Griffon friend…well, I used to…

However, the usual trial period of cautiously watching over every small move he makes has been totally skipped over after he saved me earlier. I glance over at the bandages adorning his arms and then down to his leg. I can’t see it because of the covers, but ever since he had pulled the sheets up higher, his foot has stuck out the end of the quilt. I notice that it is wrapped tight with white linens and my hoof instinctively moves toward the hole in my side.

That was way too close. I was almost cat nip.

“Hey Miss…er, I mean, Rainbow Dash, do you know where they put my clothes?” questioned Anthony, a nervous smile playing across his face.

Hay if I know. I only just woke up myself. Besides, why do you need clothes?

I open my mouth to respond, but another voice interrupts me.

“Oh Rarity is taking care of those. Of course you probably have no clue who that is…well, let us introduce ourselves anyway. You may call us, Princess Twilight Sparkle.”

Twilight or rather Princess Twilight Sparkle stands at the threshold to the ward, her shining tiara resting proudly atop her mane. Her chin is pointing proudly up towards the ceiling and it almost looks like a circle of light shines around her. I can barely make out Doctor Stable behind her spread wings.

Geez…do you have to show’em off every single time you enter a room? And what’s up with the plural? Are you trying to be Luna or something?

Even I, who I’ll admit likes to show off from time to time thinks she is getting pretty excessive with it. She can hardly even fly yet. In fact, everything about Twilight seemed to be getting fairly excessive lately.

So you got some wings and a crown now. Whoop de doo...

“Uh…it’s an honour… your, uh, Majesty…oww...”

I turn my eyes back to Anthony who was trying to bow or something while lying on the bed. His body must’ve decided against the action halfway through and now he’s trying to play it off with an awkward grin.

“Don’t stress yourself, fair creature. And please, just ‘Princess’ is fine,” she replies, placing a hoof on her lavender chest.

“Hey Twi,” I say, catching her attention.

Twilight walks over to me and I think a see a flash of annoyance cross her features before she smiles.

“Oh hello, loyal Rainbow Dash. How are you feeling this good day?” she asks in an awkward attempt to sound regal.

“Loyal Rainbow Dash?” Seriously, what is her deal?

Once again I’m cut off as Doctor Stable answers for me.

“She could be better, but nothing a few days rest won’t solve,” he says picking up the chart at the foot of my bed. “You’ll have to stay grounded for awhile,” he adds with a stern gaze.

My face falls.

“Oh come on! It’s just a flesh wound! And my wing has been through much worse than that!”

“Do not fret, good Rainbow.”

Okay, that’s seriously getting annoying.

“This will give you time to catch up on Daring Do’s adventures,” she finishes.

“Pfft…as if! I’ve already read all those books through at least five times!”

Oh Celestia! Did I just admit that out loud?

“Um… I have some books on flying animals that you can read…if you want to that is…”

For the first time I notice the yellow Pegasus cowering behind Twilight.

“Fluttershy! You’re okay! What’s up? Did you find Angel?” I shout causing the timid pony to hide behind her mane.

“Uh yeah, I did…after I told that mean old Manticore to go back home.”

“THAT WAS YOU!?”

Fluttershy squeals in surprise while I turn my head back to Anthony who was sitting up in his bed.

“Oh owww…” he groans rubbing his leg. He looks back up noticing everypony staring at him. “Ah…sorry…”

Massaging my leg, I look up to see every eye in the room is focusing its gaze on me.

Guess that was a bit loud.

“Ah…sorry…” I apologize weakly.

The Unicorn dressed in a white coat and glasses walks over to the foot of my bed. He has a stethoscope wrapped about his neck and what looks like a heart monitor stamped onto his flank. He picks up my chart with his hoof (seriously, how do they do that?) and begins to read through it.

I’m gonna take a wild stab in the dark and guess that this is my doctor.

“I suggest you refrain from such outbursts. You don’t want to damage your leg even further,” he advises looking up at me over his spectacles.

“Yeah…sorry Doctor…?”

“Stable.”

Of course…

“Doctor Stable, I promise I won’t freak again,” I say not sure if I would be able to keep to my words. After all, I’m in a hospital with two Pegasi, a Unicorn doctor and to top it all off, an Alicorn princess!

“Good,” nods the doctor pony. He looks back down at the chart. “Well, thanks to medicinal magic, you should be able to stand up in a couple of days, but you’ll have to undergo some physical therapy before you can leave.”

Medicinal magic? Well, I guess it makes as much sense as anything else in this world.

“No problem. I’ve had to go through physical therapy before, but…” I pause. The doctor gives me a questioning look. “Where I come from… all this treatment and stuff…well, it isn’t cheap and I’m afraid that I threw my wallet away when I was fighting that Manticore…”

The lavender Alicorn strides forward spreading her wings even wider than they were before. The purple star atop her crown sparkles in the light coming through the window. Her lovely mane seems to flow even though there is no draft in the room. Her eyes are large and warm; I felt I could get lost in them.

“That has all ready been taken care of, dear…?” she pauses.

“Anthony… I’m a human.”

“Hew-man?”

I nod smiling a little.

Is everyone here gonna say it like that?

“Yes, w-well dear Anthony the noble human,” she stumbles out. “We have paid for all medical expenses. We would like to thank thee deeply for saving our beloved subject.”

I’ve heard that sometimes people of royalty will refer to themselves in a plural form, but I never actually dreamed I would hear it myself.

“Uh… you’re welcome Princess, but if you want to thank anyone it should be that Pegasus over there,” I say motioning in the direction where the rather skittish looking yellow pony was standing. “If she hadn’t told off that Manticore, I would’ve been its lunch.”

*Grumble*

“Speaking of lunch, could we get some grub in here? I’m starving,” moans Rainbow and I see the Princess roll her eyes.

“I will ask the nurse to bring in some sandwiches,” replies the doctor before turning to me. “Can you eat vegetables?”

Oh yeah! They’re ponies! Of course they’d be vegetarians…

“Just as long as it isn’t hay or flowers I should be good.”

The doctor nods and leaves the room presumably to go alert the nurse of our hunger.

“Well back to the matter at hoof. Is what this human says true, Fluttershy?” asks the Princess as she turns toward the Pegasus.

“I-I guess so…”

“Well then, we thank thee as well sweet Fluttershy,” proclaims the Alicorn.

The Pegasus simply blushes and hides her face in her long, pink mane.

“Well, we see that you both are quite famished so we will leave our questions for later,” says the Princess turning back to me with a worried expression. “You are willing to answer my questions, aren’t you?”

Hey! She just spoke like a normal person! ...er, pony...

I nod causing her to smile.

“Ahem! Then we will leave thee to dine in peace. Come along Fluttershy!” the Alicorn calls as she trots gracefully back out into the hallway and out of view.

The Pegasus goes to leave, but pauses at the threshold of the ward. She takes to the air and flaps her way over to my bed side.

“Thanks for saving Angel Bunny,” she whispers. She then plants a quick kiss on my cheek before quickly fluttering out of the room. Awestruck, I place a hand on the spot she kissed.

As she leaves, what I presume is a nurse pony enters pushing a cart with two sandwiches on silver trays. She places one tray on my lap and the other on Rainbow’s using her mouth. She then goes to leave pushing the cart back out into the hall.

“Call me if you need anything else. I’m Nurse Tenderheart,” she says sweetly, but it’s all white noise to me.

I just got kissed… by a… pony. NO WAIT! I just got kissed by a Pegasus! Crazy!

I blink and come back to reality. I look down at the sandwich on my lap. It’s a BLT except without the B.

Oh bacon… I miss you already…

I turn to Rainbow to see her staring at me, mouth agape.

“Um…Earth (or is it Equestria?) to Rainbow Dash,” I joke waving my hand in her face. “Food’s here.”

She shakes her head and blushes.

“I-I know!” the Pegasus asserts and begins to devour the sandwich hungrily.

I smile.

Seems I’m not the only one surprised by that kiss. Seriously, what did I do to warrant getting caught in this awesome dream? Well, I guess it will be over once that Princess sends me back home. The guys won’t believe this! They’ll probably think I just had some alcohol induced dream. Even I’m not entirely sure this is still reality. It’s not the reality that I know at least. Well, whatever! I’ll worry about it when I get home, I think while taking a bite of the sandwich. Back home to bacon…

Author's Note

I would like to thank "This Town Needs Guns" whose music kept me company while writing this chapter. I know I made Twilight seem very haughty, but there is a method to my madness. Thanks for reading!