Soft Kitty

by Sam Cole

Rating: teen
Tags: Spike, Comedy, Rarity, Romance, Random, Alternate Universe, Owlowiscious, Twilight Sparkle, Opalescence, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 13811

Twilight impersonates Opal to prank Rarity, but problems arise

Caught in the throes of an epic pony prank war, Twilight decides to use a new spell of hers to get even with a certain white mare. But one stop off to prank Rarity turns into a call for help, and a budding romance for the two unicorns, with a few feline perks. But Twilight should really have stopped with that spell long ago, because now she and Rarity face an enemy they never saw coming.

Edited and assisted by The Abyss Be sure to like, fave, and follow if you don't already.
Image was found on derpiboo.ru without source. If known, please let me know so I can give credit where credit is due.

Published 2014-02-19 21:30:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-04-02 03:54:15 UTC

PT 1 of 3: Soft Kitty, Warm Kitty, Little Ball of Fur

Soft Kitty
By Sam Cole
Chapter 1: Soft Kitty, Warm Kitty, Little Ball of Fur.

War. War never changes. War is always vile, evil, sin that drives ponies to their absolute worst. Even more so if this war is not one of missiles and sword, or blood and steel. But instead cream pies and embarrassing photos. Yes dear ponies, the dreaded war of Pranks.

“Spike! I need that one book!” Twilight screamed as she stormed into the library. “This is unacceptable! It’s intolerable! It’s a downright disgrace!”

“Twilight, what’s wrong?” Spike asked as he skidded around the corner, fear written all over his face.

“Rarity just pranked me again!” Twilight shot back, and calmed the dragon thusly.

“Oh thank Luna. I thought it was something serious.”

“Spike! She posted a personal ad for me!” Twilight protested. “I can’t even walk through town anymore!”

“So what are you gonna do about it?” Spike asked innocently as he stifled a laugh.

“I was just reading about a new spell last week. Wednesday, 10:42 am. Find that book Spike,” Twilight ordered, till she saw Spike’s look of confusion. “Ugh, it’s on the book rota list. Just check back, then find it on the shelves and bring it to me please.”

“Sure thing Twilight,” Spike muttered as he walked away. “What’s the spell anyways?”

“A spell that lets me mind swap with any non pony creature,” Twilight explained. “I’m going to get a little payback.”

“Really, Twilight? Revenge? Isn’t that a big misuse of your talents?”

“Oh just a little one. Beside, Celestia says I don’t play around enough. All work and no play, right?”

“Makes Jack a dull colt, yeah yeah.” Spike relented. “But you promise this is just for a practical joke?”

“I promise. I’m going to mind swap with Opal, then take something from Rarity’s. Something she is bound to miss, and hide it outside. Then I’ll go over there and give the item back, letting her know I can mess with her at anytime. It’s foalproof.” Twilight smiled as she sat down at her desk.

“And all of this because Rainbow started a prank war again,” Spike chuckled, but he let it slide. He took more joy in watching Twilight attempt practical jokes than anything else of late. She was so bad at it, yet she kept trying. So he did what any assistant worth his weight would do right now, and stole the book from Owlowiscious as the feathery friend tried to deliver it. “Here ya go Twilight! Evolutionary Index of Animalia Arcanulos.”

“Ah, thank you Spike.” Twilight smiled as she set down a glass of water and a pill on her desk. “Now, sleeping pill...” Twilight said as she slipped the pill down and drank the water.

“What’s that for?” Spike asked.

“I don’t want Opal to freak out in my body now! She might get me hurt,” Twilight said as she read the spell and focused her power. “Now, visualize your swap partner, and-” With that, Twilight slumped forward as a bright flash filled the room. When Spike’s vision returned, he found Twilight curled up like Opal, snoring gently and almost purring.

“Huh, I guess it works...”

A cat growled as she unfurled, stretching her form that had just gotten comfortable. I should have know the damned cat would be sleeping! Just great, now I’m sleepy too...

But Twilight’s nap would have to wait. She only had about fourteen minutes to complete her task before the spell automatically reverted. So she had to find something to hide. Something small enough for a cat to move, but important enough to be missed.

Something like the reading glasses Twi-Kitty just found would be perfect, actually. Twilight hopped effortlessly onto the desk, marveling at her new feline agility and prowess.

So this is why they sleep all day? Being this much fun just to move around must be tiring.

Twilight was inches from the glasses when she heard a new sound in the room. The mare she was there to exact revenge upon, as it were. Twilight froze, forgetting for a second that she was not herself but a cat, and a welcome one in this home at that. Rarity saw her and ran up to the cat, tears streaming down freely as Twilight’s revenge melted into concern. War would have to wait.

“O-O-Opal! Oh goddess, Opal!” Rarity cried as she picked up the cat and hugged her gently. Twilight was used to seeing Rarity cry, but never like this. This was so personal, so... genuine. “I miss her so much! I-I-I never got to say goodbye!”

Twilight had no clue what she was talking about. She didn’t need to. Rarity was heartbroken, and that was enough for this friend. She butted Rarity’s chin with her head as Twi-Kitty began to cuddle with Rarity, providing the only comfort a cat can.

“Oh Opal! You do understand! I’m just so- so- Oh goddess! I miss her-” Rarity sobbed, stroking Twi-Kitty behind the ears as she sat down with her, but Twilight’s vision began to tunnel, her hearing shrinking back into her normal ranges.

No! Rarity! But it was too late, and Twilight was returning to herself fast. She had at least gotten to curl up, so the sleeping cat shouldn’t be too disturbed. Right now, Rarity needed the company.

“Damn it!” Twilight swore as she resumed her body, the very one racked with sleep aids. She focused her magic on an old trick of hers, pushing the drugs influence from her body. “Ha! And the Princess said pharmaceutical spells were a waste of a Sunday afternoon!”

“Twilight?” Spike asked gingerly. “You stopped purring and snoring, so I figured you were back.”

“Yeah, but I have to get to Rarity’s now!” Twilight declared standing tall.

“No joke goes unfinished?” Spike chuckled.

“Not exactly. Something’s up over there, and I think Rarity needs me right now,” Twilight nodded. “I think she needs us.”

“R-Right!”

A tentative hoof met wood in a rapid assault, as the sound resonated through the white mare’s abode. “Rarity? It’s Twilight and Spike!”

The door flew open to a nightmare of the formerly beautiful tenant. Rarity’s face was crossed with ruined mascara and smeared eyeshadow, but she didn’t care. She just stood there, trying not to sob. “Wh-What brings you over?”

“I just had a feeling you needed some company-” Twilight began, and soon was silenced as Rarity fell forward to them and took both dragon and mare into a hug. “Hey, it’s okay Rarity. Tell us what happened.”

“I-Inside,” Rarity stammered as she lead them inside and shut the door, just to collapse against it on the spot afterwards. Twilight swept Rarity into a hug as she gently reassured the mare.

“What’s wrong Rares?”

“It-its my grandma. She’s- She’s-”

“It’s okay Rarity. I get the idea,” Twilight whispered as Spike hugged Rarity too. “Your grandma Rhinestone?”

“Uh-huh.”

“She meant the world to you. I’m so sorry for your loss.”

“She hadn’t been doing too well lately. I was going out to Foalida next week to see her, but now... I never got to say goodbye. In my last letter, I said I refused to say it in print, and she would just have to wait till I got there.”

“I’m sure she would have loved that Rares,” Twilight whispered to her crying friend.

“I loved her so much! She taught me everything I know about sewing!” Rarity cried harder, in a most unladylike fashion to boot.

“I thought sewing was your special talent?” Spike asked as he backed up, finding his spot for hugs too awkward to maintain for long.

“No dear, my talent is the Gem Finder Spell. More accurately, I can find the hidden beauty of anything, whether stone, or wood, or even pony, and help bring it out for all the world too see. I do this with my ensembles, but that is only one way.” Rarity smiled for the first time since the pair had come over.

“Wow, that’s really neat Rarity,” Twilight whispered for her friend, awestruck by her complexity that Twilight had failed to notice till now.

“My grandma told me that. I thought it meant I was a fashion designer actually, but Gam Gam sat me down and explained what I was not seeing. I was looking at the world selfishly, but she taught me to see those that need a kind hoof. Need...”

“Some generosity...” Twilight muttered. “She’s the reason you would learn to be so humble later in life and eventually become the Element of Generosity...”

“Yes. She paved the way for the greatest friendship in my life, the one I cannot live without.”

“One?” Twilight and Spike asked, cocking their heads simultaneously to the left.

“One. You, Twilight. You're my best friend, and I cannot imagine life without you, and everything you’ve brought into my life.” Rarity smiled as she drew Spike and Twilight into a quick hug, driving home her message. “Without you, none of my other friendships would be as strong, or my memories so endearing. You brought us all together, darling.”

“Oh… Um, thanks Rares...”

“You’re quite welcome,” Rarity smiled as she tried to brush back her mane and control her ruined makeup. “Thank you, Twilight. For just being here today.”

“Hmph,” Spike snorted in laughter. “If you knew why, you wouldn’t be saying that.”

“Shut up, Spike,” Twilight smiled as she shot a glare to the dragon that would have frozen a pond solid.

“No, I already know,” Rarity laughed.

“You- you do?”

“You were here for a revenge prank,” Rarity surmised. “I have no doubt it was scathing and quite embarrassing, but I’m glad you let it go for now.”

“Oh...”

“Seriously? ‘I had a feeling.’ That’s very transparent, even for you Twilight. But I’m glad you came. I needed to talk to somepony.”

“I’m sure you had some comfort,” Twilight ventured hazardously.

“Opal was nice all of 4 minutes. A personal best actually.”

“Cats,” Spike chuckled. “Aw man, they’re a riot.”

“So what’s your plan now, Rarity?”

“I’m going to Canterlot tomorrow to refund my old ticket and get a bereavement fare. I’ll be gone for about four days to make my peace, help lay her to rest, and help my family take care of her final deeds.”

“Okay Rarity. I’ll help you pack,” Twilight nodded as she rose to her hooves.

“Not this time dear. I’m just taking a black dress for the funeral, otherwise I’m packing light. You don’t get much cargo on a bereavement fare after all.” Rarity awkwardly smiled, looking to her hooves.

“Okay. So if you’re ready to go, let’s get you cleaned up, then we’ll go out to dinner. Sound good?”

“That sounds lovely, Twilight. Thank you ever so much,” Rarity smiled. “Gam Gam would have loved you both, such wonderful friends.”

“Thank you Rarity, that means a lot. I wish we had gotten to meet her...” Twilight smiled weakly. “She sounds like an amazing pony to be proud of.”

Rarity only smiled, breaking back down into tears as she relived all of her favorite memories with the grandmother she had loved so much.

Four days passed since their friend had left home, and now as she returned home she was graced to the sight of her six closest friends all standing by to greet her as she departed the train. “Hello darlings!”

“There she is!” Applejack laughed as they all took turns hugging their friend. “We all missed ya, sugarcube.”

“Awe, you all are such wonderful friends,” Rarity said, holding back a tear. “That’s why I got you all these on my trip!”

All of her friends blushed as she magically moved a group of hats onto them all, even swapping Applejack’s out for this new hat. A new hat with writing on it?

“Careful Hooves Moving Company?” Twilight read on Pinkie’s hat.

“Ah, there you are. Miss Rarity said she had a moving company waiting,” The Conductor pony smiled as he approached the group. The smile of somepony that is about to offload so much work onto somepony else. “Here we are, car number four!”

“What is this, Rares?” Applejack hissed at her friend.

“Why Applejack, it’s all the antique furniture my Gam Gam left to me. I just couldn’t say no to taking it, it’s all I have left of her,” Rarity said, and though she meant it jokingly, Twilight could see right through her and tell how much she loved them, how much she needed it. So the lavender mare would play along, and accept Rarity’s prank for the time...

“The whole bucking Car?!” Twilight snapped when she saw all the large, heavy looking furniture that literally filled the train car.

“Please hurry miss. The train leaves in fifteen,” The conductor smiled as he ran away before being asked to help.

“Remind me to not invite Rarity to the next Prank war,” Rainbow sighed as she set out to grab the first piece, all ponies and dragon working hard and fast to clear the train and move the items to Rarity’s.

“Twilight, no more prank wars. I can’t take anymore.” Spike joked, huffing as he struggled to carry a nightstand the last few blocks.

“Me either, Spike. Me either. But first, I’m getting some payback tonight.” Twilight held this grudge all the way to Rarity’s, who when they found her was in the middle of a bout of self pity, obviously trying to hide her sorrow over her recent loss. She turned to her friends and tried to play off the prank, trying to act strong.

“Oh come now girls, you should know better.”

“Ah was gonna prank ya, but I thought better of it. Now, Ah’m reconsiderin that!” Applejack groaned as she set down the dresser she was carrying.

“You’re not the one floating half a ton of stuff over here!” Twilight grunted as she set her load down, the last pony to be freed from her forced labor. She turned to Rarity to see the mare looking a tiny bit afraid. And Twilight very nearly caved. Nearly, she was still planning on revenge at some point in time.

“Are you alright? That was a pretty big load. I hadn’t thought you would carry it, but just teleport it over...”

“Hey, what about the rest of us?” Rainbow demanded sitting down.

“I’m ever so sorry. I hadn’t expected the prank to actually be that taxing. I meant for it to prove a mild inconvenience, not back breaking labor...”

“I’m fine Rarity, thanks,” Twilight said shakily trying to find her strength. “You can make it up to us tonight with dinner.”

“About that,” Rarity frowned. “Spike, please go to my parent’s place and fetch them. I have a few of their pieces it seems.”

“Yeah, I got ya Rarity,” Spike nodded, setting out the door.

With the soft click, Rarity turned to her friends, a cautious smile on her lips. “Tonight won’t work for me. I have a date tonight.”

“Oh?” Five mares asked, leaning in. “Who is it?”

“A new stallion in town named Patent Pending. I met him on the train in from Canterlot,” Rarity smiled as she clapped her hooves. “He’s a mechanical engineer.”

“Rarity, that’s great!” Fluttershy ventured.

“Ya deserve it, sug.”

“A fashion designer and machinery colt? This should be good,” Rainbow laughed.

“I’ll bake up some super special cupcakes for your date then, no problem!” Pinkie declared.

“What time?” Twilight asked, the wheels turning for her.

“At seven,” Rarity squealed.

“Oh my, it’s five after six right now. You’d better start getting ready,” Twilight smiled.

“Oh, thank you dear. I’ll tell you all about it tomorrow dear!”

“Looking forward to it, Rarity!” Twilight called as she stepped outside. She knew Spike would be along shortly, and hurried home. She only had so long to get revenge after all.

Twi-Kitty roused from her sleep, rolling over to see a white mare hard at work with her make up, already dressed to the nines in a very nice cocktail dress. Twilight smiled at this, and hopped silently to the ground, sneaking up on the distracted white mare easily. With one jump, Twilight was on the table, the powder puff was in her teeth, and she was off, to Rarity’s protests.

“Opal! Stop it!” Rarity cried, giving chase. Twilight slid as she ran under the mare’s bed, hiding the puff and grabbing a similar looking puffy broach from Rarity’s hide away drawer. It only occurred to Twi-Kitty after she had the make up that the powder tasted awful, so she had to fix that. As an added bonus though, the broach she found looked just close enough to throw Rarity off for a second longer. Anything to delay her, really. Twi-Kitty bolted out just in time, between Rarity’s legs as the mare closed in, making the mare groan in anger.

“That’s it Opal! No more catnip for you!” Rarity declared, chasing Twi-Kitty all over her home, and finally into the cat’s first error. Twilight picked a room at random, but now she saw her choices were limited here. She was in Rarity’s study, and there weren’t nearly enough places to hide here. Well, enough places not filled with sharp metal bits. Twilight spotted her reprieve, and dove behind a bank of pictures. She was just starting to feel the pull of the switch when she felt herself get picked up by Rarity’s magic. Twi-kitty struck out and latched onto a picture frame, trying to bring it with her. Keep Rarity from seeing the ruse just a second longer. After all, in this game, every second Twilight could make Rarity rush would be all the sweeter in the end.

“Opal, you are in so much... Opal, are you trying to tell me something?” Twilight made out right before her cat senses diminished entirely, returning her to her own body. Twilight wondered what Rarity had meant, but it was a none issue. She had finally gotten off a successful prank!

Twilight pushed the sleeping pill from her mind as she rose and made dinner, happy with her efforts. But just as dinner was served, she was interrupted by a knock on the door.

“Just as I was sitting down,” Twilight chided as she opened the door, finding a very out of place looking Rarity. “Rarity? What’s going on? I thought you had a date?”

“What?” Spike cried out as he dropped something, but Twilight didn’t care. Rarity was not only crying, but wearing a hoodie over the cocktail dress and she had Opal with her. This was serious. Had Rarity figured out the prank?

“I- I did. That- that brute was an ill choice though...”

“Rarity, what happened?” Twilight inquired as one fear ebbed for another to flow into it’s void.

“You had a date?!” Spike again cried.

“Hello Spike. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I was just trying to protect you honey,” Rarity sobbed. “But I made a grievous error. That- that jerk was bad news!”

“Come on in, Rares. Spike, do we have enough for Rarity as well?”

“Yeah,” Spike nodded gloomily, though he looked rather dejected.

“Opal tried to warn me, too.” Rarity said as she was lead in. “She stole my powder, and then ran away from me. When I finally caught her, she was clinging to a picture of you, Twilight.”

“Really? Me?” Twilight recoiled. She honestly had no idea she had grabbed her own picture.

“Yes. But I failed to heed her warning. When Patent showed up, Opal went to the door with me, and the brute kicked her!”

“What?” Twilight snorted. Besides the news of animal cruelty, Twilight felt a certain kinship to Opal now. It was almost certainly one sided, but she still felt it.

“I know. I was appalled! How could I even think of dating a stallion such as he!” Rarity gasped in her anguish, sinking to her flanks on the floor. Twilight wasted no time in her course of action, sweeping the mare into a hug. “I figured with what’s happened recently, I should come over here. I knew there was a reason my sweet little kitty grabbed your picture.”

“Hey, it'll be alright, Rares,” Twilight sang as she nuzzled Rarity, butting the mare’s chin softly with her head and nuzzling the mare in a rather forward manner, given the circumstances.

“Twilight, I appreciate the dinner invitation, but what exactly are you doing?” Rarity giggled as Twilight froze. “I’m not that kind of mare. You need to wine me as well before I’ll start cuddling on the first date.”

“Sorry!” Twilight exclaimed sitting up, blushing like a mad filly. “I- um... yeah...”

“I’m only teasing, darling. I found it quite cute,” Rarity chuckled. “And it did the job to cheer me up. You know, Twilight, you cuddle just like Opal does.”

“You- you don’t say?” Twilight stuttered, sweating despite herself. Deciding it was best to get far from the idea of letting Rarity think about Opal and Twilight together, the lavender mare struck out on an idea. “Wait, what was that you said about a date?”

“I said I was to have a date tonight, and I will. Not a romantic date, but a nice night with you and Spike here sounds just wonderful!” Rarity sang as she walked upstairs to remove her hoodie and get Opal set in for the while.

As soon as the white mare was out of earshot, Spike burst out laughing. “Oh man Twi! You’re taking on kitty cat traits!”

“Shut up, Spike. It was a one time thing. I got my prank in, so I’m happy,” Twilight smiled.

“No more Twi-Kitty?” Spike pleaded jokingly.

“Watch it, lizard lips. Now, do me a favor and hold still,” Twilight smiled while she channeled her magic around Spike, forming the dragon’s beloved tux from thin air. She magically grabbed her birthday dress from Rarity, who saw the garment lift out of Twilight’s closet and fly down to the mare, as the lavender mare put it on while she and Spike waited.

“Are you getting all dressed up for little old me?” Rarity asked as she descended the stairs.

“Well you made it look like a lot of fun to get all dressed up for the night.”

The pair settled in for a nice dinner and a great night of fun and laughs. Spike entertained with some of his dancing and shenanigans, and Twilight told the group tales of days past. All in all, it was a wonderful night, and Rarity cherished the memory of it forever. That was the night she decided she wanted to explore a new dynamic with her friend, Goddess willing.

“Rarity? Ya look like you had a great time on yer date,” Applejack smiled for the mare the next morning in the market. “By that pep in yer step, Ah’d say yer feelin keener then Pinkie Pie.”

“Oh no,” Rarity chuckled. “I simply had an amazing time last night with Twilight.”

“With Twilight?” Applejack sputtered, sure she had misheard the white unicorn.

“Yes. Patent was a complete jerk as it turns out, so I went over and had an absolutely glorious night with Twilight,” Rarity smiled as Applejack whistled.

“Ah know that look, Rares. Yer fallin for our lil Twi, ain’t ya?”

“So what if I am? Are you telling me that you of all ponies is going to be bigoted now? Granny Smith raised you better than that, Applejack dear.”

“Quite the opposite Rares. Ah’m happy ya found somepony ta make ya happy, and Ah’m willin to bet she’d like ya too, but what about Spike?”

“Don’t remind me,” Rarity groaned dropping her gaze. “To tell the truth, I don’t even know what I feel right now. I’ve been an emotional roller coaster all week, and now here I sit with a small sliver of hope, but to obtain it, I have to crush the very soul of one of my dearest friends...”

“Ah think no matter how this Twilight thing goes down, ya need to have this talk with Spike.”

“I know. And it’s not like I haven’t tried, the boy just won’t listen. But I must do it now, or heavens forbid I will only hurt the poor boy worse in the end.”

“Be strong, Rarity,” Applejack frowned as she set Rarity after the poor dragon. And it just felt so wrong. Rarity had been walking on sunshine practically when the apple prone mare stopped her. But this fate was Rarity’s as the mare found Spike and Twilight walking along in the market, buying the week's groceries.

“Twilight darling! Spike!” Rarity called, though her voice was not saved from breaking as she did.

“Oh, hey Rares. What’s up?” Twilight asked with a smile, til she saw Rarity’s dread written on her face. She knew all too well what was coming. She had seen this face the last time the group decided to have a Spike intervention about his unrequited love. Needless to say, Spike thought it was a Pinkie Pie party, and in all fairness, she had been the one to plan the intervention.

“I need to speak with Spike please, in private,” Rarity whispered as Spike struggled to hold onto a top heavy bag of produce. Twilight nodded and relieved her assistant of the bag.

“Go ahead Spike. I have enough food for tonight’s dinner. Thanks for your help.”

“Sure thing Twilight,” Spike wheezed. Normally he cared about how Rarity viewed him, and this could do serious damage to his hero image, but that bag was really heavy and it was still really early for the kid.

Before the pair walked away, Twilight grabbed Rarity’s shoulder, and pulled her in to whisper, “You don’t have to do this alone.”

“No Twilight, I do. But thank you, my darling.” Rarity smiled as she hugged Twilight and carried on her way home with Spike. Twilight watched them depart for a second, wrestling her mind against her morals. She knew what she could do, but the question of should she was far more important.

“I really shouldn’t... But Spike needs me.” Twilight finally reasoned with a nod of her head and a gleam in her eye.

“Spike, um... Would you care for some tea?” Rarity stuttered as she sat down opposite the small dragon.

“Sure,” Spike shrugged till the sound of a cat hissing then flopping face forward rang through the parlor.

“What the…? Opal? I swear that cat has been acting so strange lately...” Rarity muttered watching her cat bolt up and look around as if asking ‘Did anypony see that?’

“So what’s up?”

With a sigh not lost on the dragon or the cat, Rarity set out on her task. “Spike, I want you to understand what I’m doing these days. I have been feeling lonely as of late, and I am striking back into the dating world.”

“Really?” Spike shrieked with joy till he saw the white mare’s look, and all too soon he began to understand. “You, you don’t mean with me, huh?”

“No Spike. I’m sorry,” Rarity muttered as she waited to hear the dragon draw deep breaths, or the sounds of tears and heartbreak. But they never came. Rarity opened her eyes and looked now to the dragon that was stroking Opal, quietly sobbing, but looking almost at peace.

“I guess I always knew this was coming. I just didn’t want to accept it. Can I ask why?” Spike ventured as the cat purred under his scally touch.

“I could say you’re too young, but that’s not fair to a nearly immortal dragon. But alas no, I just don’t believe my heart was meant to find it’s love in your’s, my dear Spike. Perhaps another life, maybe, but not with us, a drake, and a pony...”

Spike continued to pet the cat in his lap, just silently rubbing the cat’s ears and chin. He didn’t look up for a long time, but when he finally did, he was smiling. “I want to be sad, but that’s not fair to you either. You’ve lost too much lately Rarity, it’s not right of me to lay so much guilt on you.”

“Thank yo-” Rarity began till the cat in Spike’s lap jerked hard, and fell to the floor asleep, making Rarity pause. “That’s the second time I’ve seen Opal do that! I’m sorry Spike, I have to run her over to Fluttershy’s...”

“See ya later then,” Spike nodded, glad for the excuse to be free of the now awkward home he would have given the world to be in yesterday. But now he just wanted some peace as he got up and began to walk out as the cat jerked back into action.

“Wait, Spike-” Rarity called as she watched the dragon retreat. “I have to ask you something.”

“What is it?” Spike muttered as he turned to face the mare that moments ago broke his heart.

“It’s not important,” Rarity quickly lied, with as much success as Applejack usually managed.

“Obviously it is, because you stopped me for it. So what’s up?” Spike huffed, though Rarity could hardly blame the small guy.

“I- I’ve been through alot lately, and there is one pony I feel has helped me remain whole. I think I love them, but I’m not sure. I’m going to ask them on a date Spike, but I want your permission first. This pony is incredibly close to you, So I leave this matter in your claws...”

“Rarity,” Spike groaned. “I- I don’t care. I have no right to keep you from your happiness.”

“No Spike, but I do value your opinion,” Rarity said to the dragon, making him look to her eyes at long last. “It’s not right for me to pull this on you at all, but hopefully I can make it hurt less for you this way…”

“I don’t know what to say. But I do know who you mean. So I guess all I can say is do what makes you happy, Rarity.”

“... I’m so sorry Spike. I do love you, just not the same way you love me...”

“I gotta go,” Spike muttered as he closed the door.

Twilight groaned as she rolled over, trying to get comfortable enough to sleep after her last visit, but it was to no avail. Besides the revelation that her beloved little brother was mature beyond his years, something was poking her hoof, determined to not let her use those sleeping pills after all. She lifted her head enough to see a purplish blob at her hooves.

“Thanks Twilight. That meant a lot,” Spike smiled. He held no ill will to her now. He only wished to see her happy, even if it cost him his happiness.

“Mmhm. G’ nigh Spi...” Twilight muttered as she flopped back down to sleep. Twilight slept for hours it felt, and yet seconds as well. Her body was not coping well with all the sleeping pills in hindsight. So after what felt a restless sleep, Twilight rolled out of bed, just in time to make a late lunch for her and Spike. But her lunch time dining was derailed by a knock at the door.

“Again? If it’s another sales pony I swear to Cadence I’m gonna hurt them,” Twilight growled as she opened the door to find Rarity standing there, a determined look on her face that flickered inconsistently. “Oh, hey Rares... What’s up?”

“Twilight! Hi! What brings you here?” Rarity stammered as she stood there, her smile switching from happy to scared in the blink of an eye.

“I dunno. I live here?” Twilight muttered feebly, her normal wit and repertoire replaced by far too many sleep aides and not enough sleep to go with.

“You do live here, of course,” Rarity muttered to herself, slapping her face as she shifted from hoof to hoof nervously. “I’m sorry, this was a bad idea, I have to go.”

“Rares, wait,” Twilight said to the panicked mare. “What’s going on? Do you have something on your mind?”

“I just wanted to see if you would like to get dinner tomorrow,” Rarity blurted out, then blushed as she began to cover her tracks. “As friends I mean. Nothing more than friends. Just two friends! Having dinner. Together! Like friends!”

“Oh? Oh!,” Twilight gasped as it all became clear. So Rarity was making a move. And now the humble librarian found herself in quite an odd spot. Should she accept? Or rebuke?

Twilight chuckled as she realized this was no question at all, only an opportunity. “Yeah, that sounds great.”

“Perfect, I-” Rarity began.

“But- but before that, how about you and I go on.... go on a date? Just so you’re less nervous about us having a friendly lunch.” Twilight offered. She had, in all truth, written that line in her mind years ago, after watching Shining stumble through asking out a mare, and was happy that finally, just once, somepony put to use her brilliant line. Even if it was her.

Rarity could only gasp as she looked to the lavender mare that had just accomplished her own goals for her. “I- You- Date? Tonight?” Rarity stammered, but to Twilight’s relief, there was a smile there as well.

“How about now?” Twilight blurted out. She was eager, yes. But more over she wanted to do this before she completely lost her nerve.

“That- That sounds lovely!” Rarity smiled.

“Great, let me just tell Spike.” Twilight smiled as she turned to address the little dragon, and thus made Rarity groan. “What?”

“Twilight, are you seriously going to go on our first date in the nude?”

“Ah...”

“No, the date will be tonight, dear. Right now, we need to go dress shopping.” Rarity stated for a matter of fact.

“Oh my Rarity, how original of you to take me dress shopping.” Twilight giggled at the offer. “I’m kidding, that sounds lovely.”

“Wonderful.” Rarity smiled in relief. She would never admit it, but she had feared for a second that Twilight’s sarcasm was the start of a refusal. There were no words for how she was to be wrong about that.

“Hmm, I do love this color, Twilight. What do you think?” Rarity asked as she examined herself in a simple cream colored sundress.

“Hehehe, this is so much fun,” Twilight muttered from behind Rarity, confusing the poor fashion prone mare and making her turn around. She found Twilight batting the white mare’s carefully coifed tail with her hoof, a silly grin on her face. Much to Twilight’s dismay, the feline side was winning out now.

“Twilight, what are you doing?” Rarity asked as evenly as she could.

“Playing.”

“With my tail?”

“It’s just so bouncy! It’s hypnotic!” Twilight smiled.

“Twilight,” Rarity let slip in a tone one would describe as ice cutting.

“Yes?” The lavender mare asked sheepishly.

“I don’t do this on every first date, but you’ve earned it, you cute little dork.” Rarity whispered as she pulled Twilight close and planted a kiss on the waiting mare. Rarity had never kissed a mare before today, and with how good it felt to kiss this one right now, she doubted she would ever kiss another stallion. Twilight was hesitant at first, but not because it was unwelcome, and that was what shocked the mare most of all. The feel of Rarity’s alabaster lips was heavenly for the bookish mare. Twilight wanted to do so many things in her first kiss, but all she managed to do was moan and melt into Rarity’s embrace. The date was yet to start, and already Twilight was calling it a complete success. Which coincided perfectly with what her date thought of it.

So it was fortuitous that the date went off swimmingly. And the next. And the next. Twilight and Rarity quickly grew into a pattern with each other, and enjoyed every minute of it. The two had a connection deeper than anypony in town could ever remember seeing, but they didn’t care for the gossip. Not when the real story was so much better.

A pony could say the depths one would go to find out just what to get your special somepony for a spur of the moment gift, are the truest sign of your love for them. If that was the case, Twilight desperately loved Rarity, because she was willing to swap minds to find out this information. Twi-Kitty slinked through the white mare’s study, looking for any clues as what to get her. There was no occasion, Twilight just wanted to treat Rarity to something unexpected. But it was she that was in for the shock.

Sitting right on Rarity’s desk was a note left for her dad in case he stopped by to fix her sink while she was out. It was short and to the point. ‘Went to Twilight’s. Be back later. Love you Daddy!’

Bucking Hay Fries! Rarity’s heading over to my place! Twi-Kitty mentally screamed. I’m stuck here! I can’t do anything but wait! I’m all alone in Rarity’s house now with five minutes before I revert! Damn it!... Ooo, a ball of yarn!

Twilight enjoyed a couple minutes of playing with Rarity’s yarn, though she had no idea why, before she finally reverted. She was absolutely certain that she had just missed out on the mare, and was going to try and catch her before she got back home. But to her surprise, when she reverted back into her body, she felt a warm hoof laying over her, and a white mare playfully leaning in, seconds from leaving her a kiss.

“I’m sorry Twilight, did I wake you?”

“Rarity?” Twilight sleepily smiled, trying to play dumb. “I was just dreaming about you...”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. You were the best marefriend ever.” Twilight chuckled. It was a tad cheesy, but Rarity would surely eat it up.

“Hmm. Tell me something I don’t know.” Rarity giggled.

“What brings you over?”

“I was just hoping to see you, darling. Spike said you were taking a nap, so I thought I would come up here and leave you with a little kiss for sweet dreams,” Rarity smiled. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“It’s okay. I’m still sleepy though. Care to join me for a nap?”

“I would love too, dear.” Rarity said as Twilight made room for the white mare, being more than comfortable with her in her bed. “Sleep tight, my Darling.” Twilight didn’t reply as she sank back into the world of slumber, though now she had just one problem. How will I ever get back to sleep without Rarity here? This is just wonderful!

Over and over for the next month, Twilight would face the daily torture of not being able to spend as much time as she wished with Rarity. After all, their work lives kept them apart for eight hours a day. But every now and then, Twilight would find a way to fix that, for almost fourteen minutes at a time.

It started humbly, a little trip here, just to see her at work when Twilight couldn’t stop thinking about the mare. But low and behold, when Twilight’s mind came into that small slice of paradise, she was in for a treat. Rarity was singing while she worked, and the soft sound was rapture to the poor mare who until now knew not of this bliss she was missing.

Again and again, Twilight would come to the shop, just to see her beloved. Her… beloved…

I’m falling in love… Twilight gasped one day as she listened. No, no that’s not right. I’m already in love. In all honesty that's all that’s left to be said. I love her. She’s what I’ve been missing, and I never even knew it...

“Opal? Here kitty kitty kitty!” Rarity called out as she paced around her home one day. Opal was going to the vet again today. Lately, the poor cat had been acting so strange. First strange behavior, then randomly falling asleep. And now Opal was spending hours a day just staring at Twilight’s picture, hissing at it as if Twilight was a thief.

Rarity had twice in the last week woken up to the cat batting her horn or poking it with a claw. Every time Rarity levitated anything, the cat was there, watching like a hawk. Opal seemed to be interested in magic for some reason, and this new behavior was starting to scare Rarity. Was her cat possessed? Why was this happening? Was it the new cat food? Rarity bet it was the cat food.

A cat gently lept onto the luxurious bedspread as she sauntered over to the gently sleeping mare. Twi-Kitty smiled to herself, as this was just what she was hoping for. A chance to cuddle with Rarity, as only Opal could. Twilight was falling head over hooves for the white mare, and she reveled any chance she could get to spend time with her. It was truly magnificent. Twi-Kitty got up against the white fur and curled into a ball, purring gently as she did. Her mind was just starting to drift off to sleep when she remembered something important.

Bucking heck. I forgot a sleeping pill. Opal’s gonna freak out in my body. Oh well, if I wind up in a cast, Rarity can nurse me back to health again, Twi-kitty giggled. Let it be noted, plans like that are often riddled with danger, calling to the universe to make those responsible eat their words, and always rather publicly. Twilight had no idea the chaos a cat turned pony could cause in a library, but she was about to find out the hard way.

Meanwhile, in the Golden Oaks library, a lavender mare rose to her hooves with a smile spreading across her lips. “Finally, I am free. And now I have that fool Sparkle’s magic at my command!”

Author's Note

The titles of this fiction and this chapter were literally the first thing to pop into my head. This has nothing to do with Big Bang Theory, only copying the song for a couple of names.

Pt 2 of 3: Evil Kitty, Demonic Kitty, LU-CI-FER!

Pt 2 of 3: Evil Kitty, Demonic Kitty, LU-CI-FER!

Two ladies lay together on the fine feather top mattress, happily snoozing away the day. One was supposed to be working on her new dress line, and the other was not supposed to be a cat right now, but those sort of details didn’t matter much right now. But a knock on the door dared to interrupt them, as whomever was knocking seemed quite intent to be let in.

“Coming!” Rarity called as she rolled off the bed. Twi-Kitty roused slightly, and looked over to the clock.

Hmm, 2:30... 2:30!! I’ve been a cat for an hour and a half! How the buck did that happen? What did Opal do to me? Did she kill off my body?!? Twilight panicked, bolting out to the main room to see what was going on. She prayed it wasn’t the police telling Rarity she was single again. Imagine her surprise when the pony sitting there was her. Well, her body anyways.

“Twilight! It’s so good to see you, Darling!” Rarity chuckled. “I thought I told you to stay clear so I could concentrate on my work today?”

With a cold smile, the facade was shattered. “Shut up, annoying white one. I’m here to kill purple one that has stolen my body,” Opal-Light said, looking past the mare in question to the white persian cat. “Hello, old body. Prepare to die for new body!”

“Twilight? What the hay has gotten into you?” Rarity snapped. “I don’t know what sick joke you’re playing at, but-”

“I thought I told you to shut up,” Opal-Light snarled as she shoved the white mare aside. “Goodbye Twilight! Hello New Opal!” Opal-Light screamed as she charged her horn. Rarity was stuck watching in horror as the mare she loved attacked her, and took aim at her cat. The cat that was busy attempting sign language for it’s part here.

“Rawr Meow Hiss!” Twi-Kitty sputtered, flailing her paws.

“I don’t care about that body! I have a new one!” Opal-Light cried as she fired her magical blast, only to miss as Rarity magically grabbed the cat and pulled it to safety.

“Twilight! Stop this now!”

“Rawr Rawr Meow Mew!” Twi-Kitty argued as Opal-Light rounded on the pair, hate in her eyes.

“Don’t move. I’m still rather new to the practice of magic.”

“Rawr Mew. Hiss Rawr!” Twi-Kitty ordered of the white unicorn, though it was useless. Rarity failed to speak cat. Twi-Kitty swiped Rarity on the nose, breaking her trance. Rarity took one last look at the mare she thought was Twilight before she slipped away, running at top speed from the boutique.

“Run all you like, Rarity! I’ll kill you too for all those damned kitty cat sweaters you put me in!”

Huffing and puffing some time later in an alley, Rarity was on the brink of tears. Twi-Kitty was close to a nervous breakdown, and Opal-Light was close to animal cruelty charges against Twilight if she kept this up.

“What- the Buck- happened?!” Rarity demanded of no pony. “Twilight, how- How could you?”

“Mew Mew Meow Rawr Mew!” Twi-Kitty argued, trying to communicate.

“I loved her, Opal. I truly did!” Rarity sobbed. “What happened? Was she cursed? Did Discord turn her?”

“Rawr,” Twi-Kitty mewed, shaking her head. This finally got Rarity’s attention.

“Opal?”

“Rawr,” Twi-Kitty said with another shake of her head.

“Tw- Twilight?”

“Mew!”

“... Why the Everfree Forest are you my bucking cat?!”

“Rawr Rawr Mew Meo-” Twi-Kitty began to reply before Rarity’s glare cut her off completely.

“I was not looking for an answer, Twilight!”

Then why did you ask? Twi-Kitty mentally snarled.

“I’m just so angry at you righ-” Rarity began, but a sound cut her off. The definitive sound of the building behind her being torn in half by a magical attack.

“Found you!” Opal-Light cried as she jumped into the alley through a fog of plaster dust and smoke, only to just miss Rarity and the cat. “Damn it! And damn you two as well! I haven’t quite got the hang of running with this body yet!”

Two mares sat quietly in the cafe now, enjoying a break for tea. In all honesty, they were in a rare cease fire in their prank war, too afraid to move any more in case they triggered another Pinkie Pie trap, which the mare had placed all over town in case of prank war emergency. This was why they seldom ever held prank wars. The fact that this war had lasted a month was due to some mare refusing to let booby traps beat her perfect pranking record.

“Nice weather, Dash,” Applejack nodded.

“Yep.”

“Come back here and fight me, Rarity! I’ll flay you alive and your worthless Cat!” A lavender mare resembling Twilight screamed as she chased Rarity and Opal through the cafe, knocking over tables and disturbing the tranquil peace it had once known.

“... Okay then...” Applejack ventured.

“They’re not welcome to the next prank war.” Rainbow nodded, looking to where her cup had once sat before it was destroyed.

“Eeyup.”

Back in a little cottage by the woods, a butter colored mare was busy trying to calm her animals down. They were acting restless, as if a storm was coming.

“Please calm down, my little friends. I’m trying to help you. I-”

“Fluttershy! Help me!” Rarity screamed, pulling the mare’s attention just long enough to see what could only be Twilight chasing Rarity and firing bolts of magic at her.

“Twilight!? Stop that! What do you think you’re doing?!” Fluttershy yelled, getting in between the mare and the cat. And Rarity too, but that was secondary for the blonde mare.

“Animal lover! I should have known! But your demon eyes will no longer work on me, she devil!” Opal-Light snarled at Fluttershy.

“I have no clue what’s going on in your relationship, but you will not drag your domestic dispute over here and scare my animals. Got it?!”

“I will des-”

“Twilight.” Fluttershy snorted, and stopped the evil cat turned pony in her tracks.

“... Sorry,” Opal-Light muttered as she slunk away, back toward the town.

“Oh Fluttershy, thank you! I wa-” Rarity began til Fluttershy rounded on her.

“Not around my animals. I raise them in an environment of peace and love, got it?”

“But Twilight ha-”

“No buts Rarity. Go talk this out with her.”

“Rawr Mew Mew Hiss Me-” Twi-Kitty began till Fluttershy glared at her. “Rawrry.”

“Rarity, Opal thinks she is actually Twilight. I’m going to prescribe some medication for you, Opal,” Fluttershy muttered in defeat.

“I- nevermind Fluttershy.” Rarity muttered, sulking away. “I’ll just keep running from that crazy bitch.”

“Here you are, Mister Rich!” Pinkie smiled as she passed over a large cake to the well paid stallion. “Careful, it’s top heavy.”

“Thank you Pinkie. This will make my self promotion all the better,” Filthy smiled as he walked carefully to the door. He had only just set his first hoof on the street before a random white mare with a cat ran into him. Had that been the end of that, he could have possibly saved the cake, but the lavender mare running behind her that blasted the cake with magic was unavoidable. Filthy turned right back around and headed back into the shop, straight to the counter. “Miss Pie, what is your return policy?”

“Sorry Filthy, we can’t take back any food that leaves the door,” Pinkie offered with an apologetic smile as Filthy was now filthy with cake frosting and bits of baked detritus.

“I figured as much. I need to place another order then...”

A right turn, and a dash down the alley! Rarity’s hooves met stone and dirt as the elegant mare fled for her very life. This was it now though. She was near her end, and she feared that soon that maniacal creature would do her in so unjustly. Rarity turned the corner to now find she was trapped, a dead end. She turned to see the closing form of Twilight, cursing the foolish mare.

“Time’s up, Rarity!” Opal-Light screamed as she charged her attack.

Thinking fast, Rarity threw the only thing she could use as a weapon right now. Twi-Kitty.

“Rawr!” Buck!

Opal-Light happily caught the cat in her magic, pulling her in close for this. “I’ll enjoy watching you die, Sparkle, as you watch in horror as I take over your pathetic little town!”

“Mew mew meow rawr?”

“Because I deserve this town! I’m a cat, and deserve to be treated like the goddess I am!” Opal-Light replied with hate and rage.

“Hey goddess,” Rarity gingerly chuckled from right in front of the mare. “Here’s your just desserts!” The mare finished her cry with a strong right jab, breaking the librarian’s nose expertly.

“Hiss!”

“Shut up, Twilight, I’m still angry at you!” Rarity retorted as she grabbed the cat and ran for it again. But her advantage was short lived.

“Nice try. Now die!” Opal-Light screamed as she tripped Rarity, using the pocket of time she bought to charge her horn. Rarity’s reflex was to charge her own, and in that moment gave Twi-Kitty an idea. The cat reached up from Rarity’s back and put two paws on the white horn, and began rubbing for all she was worth.

“AAUUGH!” Rarity anguished from her mana distortion. For a unicorn, there was no greater pain than that of having their horn touched during the mana event. But this was even worse as Twi-Kitty drew out Rarity’s mana, coating her paws with it.

Twi-Kitty jumped off her marefriend, between her pained lover and her confused nemesis. “Rawr rawr hiss growl.”

“You think you can threaten-” Opal-Light bellowed till Twi-Kitty attacked. Swiping with her claws, the mana projected out into four large claws itself, slicing the ground, the trash bin, and the building next to them, much too the disapproval of the ponies in said building. Opal-Light sat stunned as she watched a cat use what she held most dear now, magic itself. This was quite the concept indeed.

“Rawr mew.”

“Hmmph. A good trick, but useless. The magic faded from that paw.” Opal-Light muttered smugly, till Twi-Kitty held up the other paw, the blue glow like fire in her paw. “You wouldn’t. This is still your body!”

“Rawr mew hiss growl!”

“You would risk your own body, just to save her?” Opal-Light muttered. “You ponies are so weak! Love is worthless, and it will be the death of you!” Opal-Light screamed.

“And talking will be yours!” Rarity screamed as she bucked a trash can at Opal-Light, making the mare pause her efforts to deflect the incoming attack. When the cat turned mare was clear, she found herself alone again.

“Grr! A curse upon you, Rarity! And as for you, Twilight Sparkle, I will burn you alive!”

Twi-Kitty sprinted ahead, leading the white mare to safety, but it was a lost cause. Rarity was too drained to carry on. She was hurt, but now Twi-Kitty was able to help her. The cat turned to the tired mare and focused the mana on her paw. With a dull flash, Rarity blinked as she felt new energy coursing through her.

“Twilight? Did you just use a healing spell?”

“Mew!”

“With the magic you stole from me anyways?” Rarity snorted.

“Rawrry…”

“Whatever. Let’s just find a way to stop that crazy bitch,” Rarity muttered. Twi-Kitty nodded, and pointed towards the west side of town, where a familiar house sat.

“West? The library?” Rarity questioned as Twi-Kitty nodded with what counted as a smile. “Twilight, we don’t have time to study! We’re running for our lives!”

“Rawr! Mew mew rawr!”

“... I have no idea what that could possibly mean…”

Rarity was about ready to give up hope, till a voice pierced the air, calling her attention to a welcome sight. “Thank goodness I found you!” Fluttershy smiled. “Here Opal, those medications I made for you.”

“Fluttershy, Opal doesn’t need meds! She’s Twilight in Opal’s body!” Rarity argued.

“... Really?”

“Mew!”

“Yes!”

“I now see why Opal developed this complex. Rarity, I need you to come with me, we’re going to get you help.”

“I am not crazy!” Rarity huffed in response.

“Mew meow mew mew rawr meow meow!” Twi-Kitty pleaded, and for once broke through.

“Twilight!?” Fluttershy gasped. “It is you!”

“What did she say?!” Rarity asked, hating being left out.

“That she could prove she was Twilight in 187 simple, irrefutable arguments.”

“Ah.”

“What happened?” Fluttershy asked the small cat.

“Darling, I would love to let Twilight try to explain this for once, but that evil thing is still chasing us.” Rarity pleaded.

“Is that Opal in Twilight’s body?” Fluttershy whispered, fearing the cat pony was near.

“Mew.”

“How did she learn magic?” Fluttershy questioned, looking around.

“Mew meo-” Twi-Kitty began till Rarity stopped her.

“I’m sure waking up in the largest library for magical spells in the land had something to do with it.” Rarity interjected. “What I want to know is how to stop her.”

“Mew meow meow!” Twi-Kitty proclaimed to a glare from Rarity. Twi-Kitty sighed and pointed to Fluttershy.

“Oh! To the library!” Fluttershy translated.

“Fluttershy, come with. I need a translator,” Rarity snorted as they galloped away toward the far end of town that was home to Twilight’s home. “Twilight, what are we going to do about her? Can I reverse the spell?”

“Um, no Rarity…” Fluttershy frowned as she carried on with her task.

“What?! Why the hay not?!”

“She’s the one controlling the spell now. She must have read the spell and cast it on herself.”

“So how do we stop her then?!” Rarity demanded of the cat on her back.

“We’ll need to distract her I think. The spell only lasts about 14 minutes at a time, so she’ll have to stop every so often to recast it. Twilight, how do we do that?” Fluttershy balked as she finished the mare’s thought.

“Mew mew meow rawr.”

“I was afraid you’d say that,” Fluttershy grimaced.

“Say what?”

“By any means necessary.” Fluttershy said as Rarity ground to a halt.

“Twilight, you can’t! That’s your body! I feel somewhat bad I had to break your nose dear, but you’re talking about-”

“Rawr!”

“...”

“Oh, right. She said I know. She knows what it means,” Fluttershy frowned as Twilight continued, “But she also knows what Opal is capable of in her body. She can’t let her go. She’ll hurt innocent ponies, if she hasn’t already. It’s Twilight’s duty to stop her, to fix her mistake.”

“Twilight…”

“Rawr mew mew purr…”

“She said I love you Rarity…”

“I know,” Rarity sniffed. “We all make mistakes, Twilight.”

“Really?” A voice rang out, making three mammals blood run cold. Opal-Light. “One is something, but she took my body forty seven times in the last month! She took so many trips that I learned all about magic through what the book calls the bleeding effect!”

“Forty seven times?!”

“Rawrry?”

“Twilight, what the hay were you doing!?” Rarity snapped at the cat.

“Later Rarity!” Fluttershy screamed as she grabbed the white mare and feline and tried to fly away.

“You stupid, selfish, ignorant mare!” Rarity screamed at the cat. “You’ve been using that spell to spy on me, haven’t you!”

“Rawr mew…”

“No comment!” Fluttershy groaned as she struggled to carry Rarity, who was not making it any easier on the mare as she thrashed at that stupid lover of her’s.

“Oh you despicable mare! I’ll kill you if you ever get your own body back!”

“Meo-” Twi-Kitty began till a magical shot zinged by. “Hiss hiss!”

“I’m going as fast as I can!”

“Meow growl hiss?”

“No, but thank you for saying please.” Fluttershy smiled as she dodged the shots coming up. She ducked down below a house and dropped mare and cat. “Go to the library. I’ll find the others and get them to slow down Opal!”

“Thank you dear. Don’t be afraid to hurt her,” Rarity snarled while looking at the cat.

“Yeah, after that story, that won’t be a problem,” Fluttershy snapped at the cat that only hung it’s head. Twi-Kitty began to speak, but was cut off. “Go. Now.”

“Best of luck, Fluttershy.”

“Spike!” Rarity cried bursting into the library. She looked around but saw no sign of the little dragon, and breathed a sigh of relief. “Well, at least he’s safe…”

Twi-Kitty jumped off her back and dashed upstairs to the bookshelves that lay destroyed, the books burned and disheveled. “Buck. Now what will I do? If I can’t figure out what spell she’s using to destroy everything, I’ll never stop her!” Twi-Kitty sighed.

“That does sound bad, old girl.” A voice called out, making Twilight do a double take. “Up here, Twilight.”

“Owlowiscious?” Twi-Kitty balked. “How can you understand me?”

“Animals communicate all the time my dear.” The wise owl smiled. “I understand you’ve been through quite a lot today.”

“I lost my body and more important the love of my life. Yeah, just a tad.”

“If you’re not careful, you’ll lose your life as well,” Owlowiscious chuckled. “Thankfully, I can help you, granted you do something for me.”

“Anything, name it!” Twilight pleaded.

“Stop letting that imbecile dragon take credit for my hard work,” The owl huffed. “I am sick of that fool using me to get kudos!”

“What? Spike would nev- So that’s all?” Twi-Kitty asked before she told a lie.

“Please, my dear?”

“Of course.”

“Thank you kindly. Opal is using the spell destructos imperium,” The owl nodded.

“Destructos imperium? Oh buck...” Twi-Kitty frowned.

“I beg your pardon? Is this spell that much worse than your typical destructive magic?”

“Destructos imperium is unscripted destruction. It can do anything, without limit almost.”

“Who would write such a spell?” The wise owl questioned.

“It’s too draining for a normal unicorn to use normally, even once. Unfortunately for me, Opal doesn’t care how much strain she puts on my body. She’s going to burn me up.”

“Ah, that is quite unfortunate.”

“She probably read that it was a destruction type spell and ran with it. I wish I had followed through on the idea to house the class five destructive spells off site.”

“Indeed. So what is your plan, Miss Twilight?”

“I’ll need to get close to her,” Twi-Kitty nodded.

“Girls!” Fluttershy screamed as she skidded into the Sugarcube Corner to find her other three friends. “We have a major problem! Twilight and Opal switched bodies!”

“We saw ‘em Shy,” Applejack nodded.

“Almost fell for it myself,” Rainbow nodded sagely. “But this is a classic Twilight prank. Over thought, drawn out, and playing on such over the top hints you couldn’t miss them at all. There’s nothing believable to this prank.”

“A- A prank?” Fluttershy muttered, losing her vigor.

“Oh yeah. Think about it Shy,” Pinkie chuckled from between sips of her tea. “Rarity and Twilight love each other, so why would they chase each other? It’s a prank.”

“But Twilight is in Opal. The way she speaks…” Fluttershy tried.

“All a trick. It’s so over complicated, it could never actually happen.” Rainbow frowned. “Would Twilight ever be stupid enough to let Opal actually take over her body?”

“She said it was an accident… She had done it over forty times already…”

”Exactly! Twilight isn’t stupid! She’d never put Opal in a position like this.”

“But the buildings all over town she destroyed?”

“All low income housing insured by the city. By Twilight knocking ‘em down, the city can actually use the insurance money to build them all better homes, as long as they sell the story that it was not Twilight but a magical mind swapin’ thingy,” Applejack nodded. “Ah think it’s cute how Twi’s prank actually helps others out, unlike somepony’s cream pie bombs!”

“All’s fair in love and prank war,” Pinkie shrugged. “Don’t buy into it, Shy. We’ll walk up to them calmly in a little while, tell them we know the truth, and the jig is up.”

“I- It can’t- I can’t believe I was fooled!” Fluttershy cried in protest, sinking down to the floor.

“There there, Shy. Cream tart?” Pinkie offered to a smile from the blond mare.

“I can’t find anything Twilight!” Rarity called out as she tossed books aside flipping through them without so much as a clue to what she was even looking for, or if there was even something to find. But her gut told her that Twilight had brought her here for a reason, so the mare had to believe, even if she could only imagine hate whenever she thought of the mare.

“Meow,” A soft reply came from her side, halting her work as the white unicorn glared down to her.

“You were awfully chatty up there. Was it worth it to listen to you meow your brains out for five minutes?”

The cat didn’t reply as she only held up a note. The writing was rough, written with an unpracticed mouth as only a foal or a unicorn turned cat could manage. But the message was still moving.

‘I’m so sorry Rarity. I never meant you any harm. Please, if I don’t make it, do what you must to save Ponyville. I’ll always love you Rares.

Now, I know what spell she’s using, and I know how to beat her. But I can’t do it alone. I hate to ask, but I need your help Rarity.’

Looking up from the letter, Rarity sighed and shook her head. “Oh you stupid, egotistical mare. What’s the plan?”

“Twilight, your plan is horrible,” Rarity cursed while standing in front of the town hall like a daisy on display for all the hungry ponies. And just like those ponies, Opal-Light came for the bait.

“What plan is that?” Opal-Light asked she sauntered up to the mare that made no signs of running. “Oh, are you planning a trap? Are you the bait? You do know I’m a Cat, right? We are naturally the best predators there are.”

“Anytime, Twilight!” Rarity nearly screamed, backing up to the steps of the building.

“Tell me where she is, and I’ll spare you Rarity,” Opal-Light smiled. A reassuring smile, a kind, genuine smile. A complete lie. Rarity couldn’t stop herself as she looked left, to the trash cans. It was just a flick of the eyes, but it was all Opal needed.

“Thank you, Rarity,” Opal smiled as she began to charge her horn. “Oh yes, and just so you know, I lied.”

“So did I. Now, Twilight!” Rarity yelled as Opal-Light furrowed her brow, confusion racking the feline’s mind. As she lost sight of her target, Twi-Kitty dropped from the overhang onto Opal-Light’s back, and began doing that most hated thing she had done to Rarity. Twi-Kitty stole her own magic.

“Augh! No!” Opal-Light screamed in horrifying pain as Twi-Kitty soaked up her mana, coating her paws with it more and more. Opal-Light summoned her strength, and bucked hard, knocking off the poorly balanced kitty. The cat hit the ground and rolled instantly up on her paws, and poised to attack. Opal-Light staggered a bit as the pain throbbed in her horn, her vision blurred.

“Rawr mew mew.”

“It will end when I say it does!” Opal-Light screamed, thrashing out at Twi-Kitty with a poorly guided hoof. “Get over here and fight me, coward!”

“Opal Darling,” Rarity cooed from next to the maniacal cat, “You forgot this isn’t a fair fight.” The white mare had punctuated her move with a swift and horrible looking blow to her lavender stomach. Opal-Light’s eyes bulged as she dropped, holding herself as her vision blurred completely. “You have no idea how good that felt, Twilight.”

“Rawr hiss.”

“Language… I think…” Rarity shot to the feline. “Now, I’ll get the rope. If she moves, I trust you’ll do what’s needed?”

“...Mew.”

“You- are a- fool, Sparkle.” Opal-Light groaned as she looked up to the pair of unicorn and cat.

“Hold still, will you,” Rarity chided as she slipped out the ropes, but it was all too soon as the trio was encroached upon by what might have qualified as the latest help ever.

“See, there they are, settin up fer the next part a’ the prank!” Applejack laughed. “Nice try gals!”

“Applejack?! Rainbow? Good! You’re here! Help me tie her up!”

“Keep your filthy hooves off me!” Opal-Light growled.

“Nice try you two, but we know you’re in cahoots now,” Rainbow smirked. “Rarity, you’re a natural. Why did you let Twilight take lead on this prank?”

“Rawr hiss growl hiss!”

“Opal!” Fluttershy gasped, blushing as she covered her mouth in shock.

“Rawr?” Opal?

“I don’t care if it’s a joke! You should be ashamed for saying those things about Rainbow Dash!”

“Wait, what?” Rainbow cocked her brow.

“Rawr rawr mew, meow growl!”

“I’m not falling for the same joke twice!” Fluttershy demanded.

“What did she say?” Rainbow persisted. But her question fell on deaf ears, or rather it was more apt to say pink bolts of magic landed on her chest. Everypony stared slack jawed as the one they knew seconds ago to be Twilight blasted Rainbow Dash, knocking her out of her naturally airborne position and to her flanks. Had it not been for the fast reflexes Twi-Kitty was now graced with, and an ample knowledge of magic, Rainbow would have been just a memory.

“Ooowwww…” Rainbow eventually groaned.

“Rainbow!” Everypony, to including Rarity, gasped as they dropped their tasks to mend to the fallen flyer. One such task being the ropes that bound Opal-Light.

“You- fool.” Opal-Light groaned and chuckled as she shook loose her binds, “I’ll- I’ll kill you all!”

“I’m fine,” Rainbow groaned, staggering back up like the pony that shot her was as well. “But Twi, that was low, even for a prank war.”

“Shut up, you insufferable mare you!” Opal-Light screamed. “I demand your attention!”

“Ya know AJ, I’m starting to think she might actually be a cat…” Rainbow groaned.

“Rawr rawr mew mew meow! Growl...”

“Opal! Apologize!” Fluttershy snapped.

“What did she say!?” Rainbow growled.

“Shut Up! I will kill you all!” Opal-Light screamed as she strained herself to fire off another blast of magic. The five mare’s screamed, standing at ground zero for the maniacs attacks, and scattered.

‘What? No! Damn it all!’ Twilight huffed.

“They are fools Sparkle,” Opal huffed as she summoned up the last of her magic, recasting the spell on herself. “But you are a greater fool.”

‘How?’ Twi-Kitty muttered feebly for her tormentor.

“How what?” Opal-Light questioned, walking around the feline pony with a glare.

‘How did you actually learn magic?’

“Ah. The student wants to know.” Opal smiled. “I learned it through your vast library. Those pills you would use before the spell did stop me from casting, but they were not instant sleep like you had hoped. so daily I would feel the switch, and then read about magic till I felt the change again.”

‘So it was my own arrogance.’ Twi-Kitty nodded. ‘Figures I would kill myself with love. Opal, I’m done running. I’ve only caused Rarity pain. Please, spare her and I will let you take my body.’

“You wish for an honorable death. I shall grant you that Sparkle, as thanks for my new body.” Opal-Light nodded as she came to tower over the cat. Opal-Light raised her hoof, poised for the final blow, when fate saw reason today to spare Twi-Kitty. The fate of a simple ball of yarn bouncing across the grass.

“Ooo! A ball of yarn!” Opal-Light giggled as she pounced on the ball, playfully batting it up in the air.

”Pist! Twilight!” The sweet voice of salvation called from the bush. Rarity. Despite all I’ve put her through, she’s still here for me. “Knock her out now!”

Twi-Kitty nodded as she turned to end the threat, only to find Opal was standing, looking at her. “Neither one of you is exactly quite…”

“But I am!” Rainbow Dash cried from the skies as she collided with Opal-Light, sending her sprawling onto the grass in a rather painful looking way. Twi-Kitty grimaced at the sight, sure her hoof never sat at that angle before.

“Hold her down. Twilight, use a sleeping spell!” Rarity commanded.

“Rawr meow! Rawr rawr!”

“Fluttershy, please translate.”

“She… she said she can’t,” Fluttershy chimed in from the bushes. “She said she used too much magic saving Rainbow…”

“Damn!” Rarity spat as she leapt out to grab the lavender mare. She hated dirtying her own hooves, especially on something like this, but sometimes, you really needed to choke out the opposition.

“Ah got ‘er hooves,” Applejack called out as she trotted forward to expertly tie up Opal-Light as Rarity held the mare in what Twilight was told was called a blood choke.

“Here!” Pinkie screamed as she shoved a cake into the villain’s face. “By the way, what are you all doing?”

“Rawr mew…” Twi-Kitty groaned as she watched her friends attack basically her, and with such vigor. Finally the mare stopped struggling, as Applejack finished her knots and Rarity released the creature. Twi-Kitty sighed as she stepped up and used the last of her stolen magic on the mare before her, shorting out her horn so she could no longer cast. It would take Twilight a few days to recover from that, but it was worth it in the end. Twelve minutes later saw the first breath of relief as Opal flopped over, and Twilight groaned as she came back to a body racked with pain. “Owww…”

“Twilight, welcome back!” Rarity smiled as Fluttershy grabbed Opal. Rarity smiled, right up till she threw that one last punch.

Pt 3 of 3: I ran out of Soft Kitty Puns…

Chapter 3: I ran out of Soft Kitty Puns…

It took Twilight a full five days to be released from the hospital, and by then she was still in a cast with a broken fetlock, broken nose, three shattered ribs, and a bruised larynx. Not to mention her shorted horn that made it difficult to do her day to day tasks, but that was what it took. In the end she was just happy to be back to her old body once more. But now that she was out, she had a few ponies to visit. Like the five friends that didn’t come to see her in the hospital. Twilight wanted to run straight to Rarity’s, but she was too scared, so she settled on Rainbow Dash first.

But therein lied the problem. Twilight thought it would be easy, but alas, nothing was going to be easy today, was it? “Rainbow Dash?” Twilight called to a random cloud. But like the last few, this was looking like a bust. “Rainbow Dash? If you’re up there, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I just… I don’t know what to say anymore.”

“Well, for one thing,” Rainbow chided from behind Twilight, “You can quit talking to the clouds. I’m right here.”

“I’m so s-” Twilight began as she faced the prismatic mare, but was stopped half way through.

“Twilight, sorry won’t cut it. If you hadn’t been as fast as you had been, I would have died. So thanks, but next time, learn some self control.”

Twilight hung her head as she listened to the mare take off again. Well, that was better than I was expecting. At least she didn’t- Twilight was cut off in her train of thought as a baggie of catnip landed at her hooves, Rainbow laughing as she sped away. “Figures.” The mare turned about now, ready to track down the next friend, only to find they had tracked her instead.

“Hey Twilight,” Pinkie smiled.

“Hello Twilight. It’s good to see you up and about.” Fluttershy added.

“How did you two find me?” Twilight asked, looking between the two slowly.

“You’ve been yelling at random clouds around town for like fifteen minutes.” Pinkie chided. “How could we not find you?”

“I must look like a wreck, girls.” Twilight groaned, hanging her head.

“Just a tad, but we were expecting that.” Fluttershy offered as comfort. “How are you feeling now?”

“Everything hurts. Girls, I’m sorry about everything that happened. I truly am.”

“Hey, it’s not the first disaster Ponyville has been through.” Pinkie giggled. "Strangely enough, our insurance covers this sorta thing around here."

“I’m just glad everyone is alright,” Fluttershy nodded. “Well, mostly…” She corrected, taking stock of Twilight.

“I still feel bad though…”

“You’ll forgive yourself in time, Twilight,” Fluttershy assured. “We have to go. Take care.”

“Here,” Pinkie said with a smile as she passed Twilight a simple smoothie. “Take care girl.”

“... Wait? How am I supposed to walk with this?!” Twilight snorted as she had to sit and wait to finish the drink so she could use that leg again. It rather irked the mare to be down not just her magic right now, but one whole leg as well. Her time wasted, the mare carried on, winding eventually into the Market district to see Applejack and Spike. Spike clearly had a large bag of groceries, getting ready for Twilight’s return.

“Hey Twilight!” The dragon greeted as Applejack gave a polite nod her way.

“Hey Spike. Thanks for getting the groceries. Hello AJ.”

“Hey Twi. Glad to see ya on yer hooves for a change. Now ah’m kinda hurtin fer some sales today, so Ah hate to do this, but Ah gotta be short.”

“I’ll take three gala apples then,” Twilight smiled as Spike produced the bits and Applejack gave her the produce. “I’m so sorry about everything.”

“Tain't nothin Twi. At least ya stayed clear of the farm,” Applejack smiled. “Besides, ah’m not the one ya should be apologizing too.”

“I know, she’s next…” Twilight sighed.

“What about me? I had to clean up the library!” Spike interjected.

“Where were you when she attacked? You could have prevented the whole thing with one letter to the Princess, after all.” Twilight asked.

“Wow, look at my wrist, I gotta go!” Spike said with a glance at where a watch should be for future reference as he picked up the groceries and bolted.

“That’s what I thought!” Twilight called after Spike. But the levity of youth faded fast for the librarian addressing her friend. “I have to get going. Wish me luck…”

With a chime of a bell, Rarity set aside her measure and turned to greet her patron, only to find the last pony she wanted to have words with. “Welcome Twilight. So you’re finally out of the hospital? Good.”

“H-Hey Rares… H-How are-”

“Don’t.” Rarity snorted. “You lied to me. You spied on me. And you almost got me killed due to your negligence. I know you came here to apologize, so just be done with it, alright?”

“I- I can’t. I don’t know enough words to properly tell you how broken I am about the whole thing. I- I hurt you,” Twilight sobbed, her breath catching as she heaved. “And I hate myself for it. I wish there was a better way to say it. A better way to say I’m sorry, but there isn’t.”

“Well, that speech is pretty effective,” Rarity sighed, coming close enough to fully see Twilight’s tears. As much as the mare would try to deny it, the sight still stung at her, and by no small margin. Maybe that was why she floated over a hanky to dry those tears. “But why? Why did you do it?”

“At first it was a prank…” Twilight admitted shakily. “And once that was done, I swore I’d be done with it all. But then, I came back because- because of Spike.”

“Spike?” Rarity recoiled. “What do you mean by that?”

“You were telling him how you didn’t love him the same way he loved you…” Twilight admitted, painfully at that. “I’m sorry, I never meant for all of this to happen. I was just...”

“Twilight, were you spying on me? Yes or no.”

“Not intentionally… at first,” Twilight muttered as Rarity groaned. “I tried using Opal to get a clue what to get you as a present once, at random. But it backfired…”

“Then what were you doing in Opal that many times?” Rarity asked as steadily as she could.

“You had to work, so I’d slip into Opal, just to be in the same room. To hear your voice. I fell in love with listening to you sing while you worked. With watching you create a new masterpiece! I fell in love with- with you, Rarity…”

“Thank you for your honesty, Twilight. But unfortunately, I cannot forgive you so easily.”

“I figured as much…” Twilight began to cry, turning her head to the door

“Let me finish.” Rarity snorted. “If you want me to take you back, there have to be some changes.”

“Name it. I’ll do anything for you, Rarity.” Twilight pleaded, turning back eagerly.

“First, you owe me a new cat. Opal has been charged as a pony actually, once word got out that it was a spell you were writing that took a tragic turn,” Rarity explained off hoof.

“Consider it done. And- and thank you…”

“For what, Darling?” Rarity asked genuinely, stopping her rant.

“Thank you for covering for me...” Twilight nodded.

“Hmm. Well, while it was not a bright idea, you still had nothing to do with Opal’s delusions of grandeur. So consider it a gift.” Rarity nodded, resuming her act of indifference. “Now I’ve blathered on long enough. For your second promise, you will never spy on me again. I appreciate what you were trying to do, but leave me my privacy. It’s hard to trust somepony that has been inside your house, watching your most private moments after all.”

“Trust me, I learned my lesson.”

“And third, I want you to promise me that those spells are gone from the library. The mind swapping ones, the destructive ones, all of it. I don’t want Sweetie walking in one day having just learned Destructos Imperium.”

“Unders- Wait, how did you learn the name of the spell?” Twilight asked, showing that while still banged up beyond belief, she was still clever when she needed to be.

“Let’s just say a little birdy told me,” Rarity smiled as Twilight gasped.

“You used the spell?”

“Even if I did my dear, I wouldn’t tell you,” Rarity smiled a sly smile, till she shifted into a more serious tone. “But despite that, I’m very disappointed in you, Twilight. Keeping something that dangerous around. I understand that the spell is extremely difficult, but you are not the only pony in Equestria that is good at magic. Next time we may not be able to stop them with a ball of yarn.”

“I understand, Rarity. I’ll make sure those books end up in the Canterlot Archives post haste.”

“Good. And finally Twilight, you betrayed my trust. It’s going to take time to heal, but you’re on the right track. We’re not over by any means, but you’re still in the doghouse.”

“As long as I have you, I’ll manage,” Twilight smiled.

“Now go home before you make me forget my unrest with you completely,” Rarity said in a mock tone of dismissal.

Twilight smiled and staggered to the door, only stopping once there to smile back at the mare. “I love you, Rarity.”

With a sigh, the white mare shook her head. “Damn you, Twilight. I can’t let you go home in that condition. Now come here and rest up. I’ll go fetch Spike. You just get a good nap till dinner time,” Rarity chuckled as Twilight beamed and took up the closest seat. “Oh, and Twilight? I love you too, my little Twi-Kitty.”

Twilight smiled goofily as she laid down on that cushion, letting her more than depleted reserves close her off and get some slumber all her own. The mare instinctively curled up in a ball as best she could, her soft snores sounding almost like purrs to the right ears. Rarity smiled as she closed the door and began to walk away.

With a small chuckle, Rarity recalled an old song. It was simple, but catchy, as all songs should be. So before she could ponder it further, she allowed the words escape in a most beautiful manner.

“Soft Kitty/ Warm Kitty

Little Ball of Fur

Happy Kitty/ Sleepy Kitty

Purr, Purr, Purr.”