The Collector

by VeryConfused

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Adventure, DJ P0N-3, Doctor Whooves, Gore, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Comedy, Romance, Trixie, Octavia
Length: 2163

My name is Vinyl Scratch, aka DJ-PON3. You already know that. Did you know that I hunt monsters too? Yeah. Didn't think so.

Have you heard of The Collectors? Of course you have, it's an old myth about a government warehouse where secret magical things with unknown origin and unimaginable power are kept, and the agents that protect it and keep it out of the public eye.
Yeah, it's real.
Well, it's not exactly how it is in the stories, but yeah.
How would I, the best DJ and electronic music producer in the known universe, have knowledge about such a thing?

'Cuz I'm just that awesome.

Heheh.

While that is absolutely true, the reason I know is that I was part of it.

Ties in with 'The Replacement'. It doesn't matter what order it is read, they happen basically simultaneously.

Published 2013-07-18 22:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-07-18 22:10:02 UTC

The Stupidest Thing I've Ever Done

The room was dark. I grinned cockily at Trixie, and her glare told me to shut up. Also that she was better than me. The final lantern had blown out and the house became completely, oppressively shrouded in darkness. The only sounds were those of our breath, and the creaking of the floorboards as we walked towards the kitchen door. A cold breeze blew through the open windows, rustling the curtains and making me shudder. I took another step, I felt my hoof hit something. I felt around for whatever it was, not finding anything. My mind was playing tricks, or a floor panel had lifted slightly or something. I don't know if I expected to find anything, I knew what we were looking for was not that small. We continued onward. Trixie was pretty sure that it was in the kitchen, but there was a certain amount of uncertainty.

Don't look behind you.

I ignored the part of my mind nagging at me incessantly about stupid shit like that.

You'll die today.

Does anypony else have that problem? A voice telling you horrible things when you're trying to be calm. You try to go to bed, and your jackass brain conjures up gruesome images of your friends and family murdered. Am I crazy? Like crazy in the bad way, not like 'you have to meet her, she's so crazy' crazy.

Enticing bit of stuff somewhere else the story intended to draw potential readers in, check.

Sometimes, ponies will be afraid.

There's nothing wrong with being afraid, it's a physiological response that has been integrated into our species after millions of years of evolution.

Occasionally, fear can get out of hoof.

Hi, I'm Vinyl. I'm awesome, a DJ, a musician, and a collector.

I have a story to tell.

Let me start again simply, no big parties, no advanced sound equipment, no unspeakable horrors, not quite yet.

I fell in love.

She was the most beautiful mare I'd ever met, her coat was a shiny grey and her mane a radiant black. I mean, like, it was so friggen shiny, it glowed. And her eyes... Dammit, she was hot. Her physical attractiveness aside, she was also one of the smartest and most graceful ponies I met.

The instant I laid eyes on her, I knew.

She was standing on the other side of the store, flipping through records with a little smile on her face. My jaw dropped, and if I had wings, they'd have knocked over the shelves next to me. I tried to walk forwards, but my hooves failed me, and I tripped on a wire, which pulled out of its socket and the radio connected to it flew straight at my face, knocking me over and sending hooves flailing. My head's collision with the nearby wall shook down the framed photos of famous bands down, and I struggled to catch them with my hooves, momentarily forgetting that I was a unicorn. Luckily, I was able to catch all of the photos with my magic.

The store manager looked at me disapprovingly.
"You're putting all that back up."
"I figured as much."

I got up, brushed myself off, and began to put everything back. I picked up some framed photos with my magic and carefully began to place them back onto the wall whence they came. I heard a voice behind me.
"Need some help?"
"No, I think I got-"

I turned around to face the source of the voice. She smiled at me.
"Nonsense, I insist."

We put everything back, she and I. It didn't take long with the two of us working together.

She stood up and grabbed the bag which held her records.
"Wait! I, uh- What's your name?"
"Octavia Philharmonica, it's nice to meet you." She extended her hoof, which I shook which I accepted into my own. I didn't want to let go.
"I'm Vinyl Scratch, nice to meet you too."
"I'm afraid I must be going, I have something to be getting off to, so if you'll excuse me-" She attempted to walk by before I opened my mouth.
"So, uh, what are you going to?" I asked, fiddling with my shades. I felt so insecure around her at first. I'm usually really confident, I guess I was unused to being in love.
"I'm a cellist, I have a concert to play at in two hours. I need to meet with the other members."
This took me by surprise slightly.
"Wow! An earth pony cellist! You must be really talented."
"Thank you, but I must be off. It was nice talking to you Miss Scratch." She began to walk away.
"Call me Vinyl, please!"

I had to say something, I wanted to see her again.
"Where are you playing?"
"The Public Canterlot Music Hall. It's a free concert, more of a recruitment venture than anything, you're still free to come." The mare walked off into the night air, silhouetted by Luna's rising moon.

Yes, of course I had to go to the Public Canterlot Music Hall even though I barely knew this mare.

Sure enough, two hours later, I was in the audience, waiting for the show to begin. The conductor walked onto the stage, not bothering to even give an introduction. The ponies knew what they were coming to see, and the music was going to speak for itself. I can respect that, even though I, as you know, like to have a big, flashy introduction.

The lights dimmed and spotlights came down, illuminating the orchestra.

The first piece was a light and bouncy one, kinda repetitive and boring. I expected that, this kind of music as a rule was not the kind I enjoy.

Then, the second piece came.

I came too.

Vulgar, but appropriate.

It was loud and climactic, there was a steady march beat in the percussion section going the whole time. The melody was fast paced, the harmony was composed of slower, very low notes that acted to support and emphasize the higher notes. Everything seemed almost messy, with so much going on at once, but take a step back and everything meshed together like a well oiled clock.

Then, Octavia's solo started.

The rest of the orchestra quieted down slowly, and a spotlight shone on her. Her eyes were closed and her features serene. She drew the bow across her instrument, and with it the the heartstrings of every audience member. In stark contrast with the rest of the piece, the solo was slow and solemn-

Celestia damn it. I'm getting all boring and descriptiony about classical music.

Technically, it was romantic era.

What have I become? What happened to the super cool DJ who talks about only the coolest of things?

No, she's still here.

She's me BTW.

So, what I'm saying is I'm gonna skip to the exciting part.

I was sitting in my seat enjoying the concert immensely. All of the members performed impeccably, especially Octavia. Although, I was probably biased, because I paid the most attention to her. We all stood up and clapped our hooves together in applause. The conductor bowed and gestured to all the orchestra members, who did the same.

Then a giant monster crashed through the back wall of the stage.

Seriously.

Spotlights crashed to the floor. It was huge, easily thirty feet tall and wide, and was a dark green in color, with spots of glowing red. It was a giant writhing mass of hundreds of mouthed tentacles the reached out and ate ponies from the orchestra and the audience. The auditorium became chaos, with most ponies screaming and running away and others standing perfectly still, mouths agape in shock. Ponies all rushed up to the doors, trying to force their way through. The monster made its way towards the large grouping of ponies piled up at the door, its innumerable mouths snapping furiously at them. Tentacles reached down and snatched ponies up, throwing them up into the air, then opening their mouths wide and swallowing them whole. Body parts that didn't fit into the mouths were sliced off by sharp teeth and hit the ground with a wet thud.

Screams filled the air.

Blood stained the floor.

The tentacles shrieked a bloodthirsty, bloodcurdling cry.

The adrenaline pumped through me, enhancing my senses and sending my brain into overdrive.

No time for emotion.

Only action.

Time seemed to stop for me; ponies stopped in mid stride, the monster's tentacles stopped moving. I looked around at the frozen scene before me. I saw Octavia and the other orchestra members who weren't eaten bolting for the back door behind the stage. I looked up, one spotlight was still unbroken. I traced the beam with my eyes, following it down to a patch of monster tentacles, the tentacles were burnt to a crisp. The spotlight didn't have any space behind it, so it must have been automated. The monster was injured by bright lights. I didn't want to risk moving the spotlight with magic, as it might break the wire, and I'd lose my chance at beating this thing. I looked around for the control panel. It was directly opposite to the stage and up pretty high. The problem was that the monster was close.
"This is the stupidest thing I've ever done." I said to myself, running towards the controls.

A tentacle seemed to notice me, and lunged at me, barely missing me, and knocking me over sideways. I scrambled up back into a standing position before it could get at me and dashed towards the stairs, briefly glancing back at the outstretched snapping tentacle.

After a right turn, I was at the control room. Two mares were huddled under the table, shaking in fear. I looked out of the window at the spotlight. All I had to do was shine it at the monster, and this would all be over. I looked at the switchboard. My own equipment was complicated, but this was ridiculous. every inch of the device had switches or lights, and they were labelled with incomprehensible shorthand nopony but trained professionals could even try to understand.
"Could one of you help me?" I asked.

The two ponies under the table argued briefly before one of them was shoved out from under. She looked at me uncertainly.
"I need to control that spotlight. The monster is burnt by bright light."
"Use the panel!" She told me.

I glared at her. She looked back at me blankly.
"Ugh! Let me do it!"

She pushed me out of the way and worked the controls, her hooves moved to the bottom left and started shifting dials. I looked out of the window, The monster was starting to notice the spotlight movement.
"Hurry up!"
"I'm going as quickly as I can."

One of the tentacles turned around to face us. I stared at it. It moved right up close to the window. I could see the innumerable tiny, black eyes that were scattered along its surface. It blinked and tilted sideways.
"Um-"

It slammed itself against the window, the glass cracked.
"Get down!"

The monster's tentacle smashed through the window, sending broken glass flying through the air before shattering against the ground. I grabbed the mare by the shoulders and brought her to the floor with me. The tentacle stretched itself through the window. We clambered under the table. The other pony was covering her ears, rocking back and fourth, murmuring quietly to herself. I had my front leg around the first pony's mouth, holding her scream in. The tentacle scanned the room, jerking around suddenly at every little noise made. It turned to face us. Its mouth opened and it hissed. Drops of sweat ran down my face as I stared back unblinkingly at the tentacle. It lunged for us.

I closed my eyes and I thought back a long time, when I was in magic school, looking for a particular spell. At that point I wished I'd payed better attention in class instead of only caring long enough to pass the test. I found it. I took a deep breath and channeled all my magic energy into my horn, and a burst of light shone out, burning the entire tentacle black. The blackened tentacle let out a high pitch shriek and broke off of the rest of the appendage. It fell to the ground and disintegrated into ashes. The rest of the severed tentacle flailed wildly while spraying black fluids all over the room before falling limp. The amount of energy I used generating such a bright light expended combined with the fact that I was out of practice left me exhausted. I slumped onto my side and took long, deep breaths before I could speak.
"Get back to the controls." I managed to say.

The mare nodded at me, stood up, and continued to twist the dials controlling the spotlight.

I blacked out.