Posibly the most childish and pointless fanfic youve ever read... Enjoy :3
"What am I doing here?" Derpy asked, stacking a pile of muffins into a perfect likeness of Richard Nixon. She had no idea where she was. She was sitting in a dungeon surrounded by a flaming pit of lava. She had woken up there after she had stepped on a Lego and fallen down a flight of stairs, landing on someponies brand new Honda civic and knocking over a hot dog stand.
Suddenly, the floor to the dungeon swung open and a short fat man in red overalls stepped in. "Ima here to savea you princess!" He exclaimed. He bounded over the lava with the swiftness of a greased mongoose and landed right on top of muffin Nixon.
"Holy tardis of gallifrey who are you?!" Derpy exclaimed.
"Ima Mario! The horizontally tall plumber grinned, "And who are you? Your nota the princess!" He threw his arms into the air in frustration, and I mean literally tore his arms off and threw them into the air. "Some littlea fungus in a dopey little vest says Ima sorry Mario but the princess is in anothera castle! But instead of finding the sexy hoochie mama of a princess, I find a furry threea stooges reject!"
All of a sudden the roof EXPLODED! And none other than the tenth doctor David tennant popped in on them!
"We need to get out of here!" He shouted, "We are all in grave danger!"
"From what?"
"The daleks have discovered friendship! Run! Ruuuuuuuuuu--!" His scream was interrupted by an android voice that sounded like a broken can opener.
"PREPARE TO BE LOVED AND TOLERATED!"
"NOOOOOOOOO!"
"There is something I musta tell you!" Mario yelled over the horrifying din of friendship, "I’m nota really Mario!"
"What?!" Derpy watched as the fat lazy sex crazed plumber tore off his face to reveal his true identity.
"I’m actually jean Luke Picard!" He exclaimed, doing a little jig and yelling "tadaah!"
"Can we get out of here now?" Derpy asked, "It’s hotter than a sheep’s butthole in a pepper patch in here!"
"Why of course!" Picard grinned, slapping the emblem on his chest. "Laforge! Beam us up!"
"Sure thing you chrome domed Charles Xavier look alike!" A voice rang out from the emblem and they were engulfed in blue light sparkles and nyan cats. They found themselves standing in a fry kitchen, being stared at by a pizza faced teenager who was working the grill.
"Laforge!" Picard yelled, "where in the name of Barack Obama’s crispy cheesecake are we?!"
"Oops" laforges' voice chuckled nervously from right above Picard’s left nipple, "I had the nyan transporter set to the 'where the hell am I' setting." They were once again surrounded by sparkles and nyan cats and found themselves on the bridge of the USS giant-space-Frisbee.
"Lieutenant Warf!" Picard announced, strumming a bologna ukulele he had just found jutting out of the back of data’s head, "you have something on your back!"
"The banana kiiiiiiiing!" The two unicorns in the portal on warfs' back yelled.
"I’m so happy I could squirt" Laforge announced wiping tears from his eyes with one of those singing fish.
Right at that moment Gandalf appeared out of nowhere wearing absolutely nothing but his wizard hat and a smile.
"Everybody conga!" He yelled and they all cheered and formed a conga line behind the naked old geezer.
Derpy squealed with glee and pummeled Justin beiber in the face with a loaf of French bread and a can of spam from 1957.
"Taste the rainbow!" She screamed as her butthole expanded, sucking in the universe and leaving her floating in the nothingness that is the pop stars average IQ. Then she had an explosive bowel movement and everyone died.
THE END
Brace yourself, the childish stupidity is coming
Well okay... Maybe I lied. The story isn't exactly over yet. You see, twilight sparkle had survived the explosive bowel movement I mentioned before. She was sitting in derpys colon, leaning against the Pegasus final sphincter in deep thought.
"What am I going to do now?" She asked herself, absently stuffing her saddlebags full of fecal bacteria Broadway performers. The whole fact that she seemed to be stuck in a big poop chute apparently didn't occur to her as she turned to the midget behind the cash register next to her. "I know! I’ll have a double krabby patty with extra anchovies!"
"Do want fries with that?" The horizontally tall wizard of oz extra asked, poking a dead ferret with a stick.
"Hmmmmmmmm no, i'll have the dingle berry special."
"In that case I’ll be right back" the midget grabbed a bucket and stepped behind a curtain. Suddenly, twilight was sucked into a wormhole that had somehow opened behind her. She waved at Morgan freeman as she passed and proceeded to float past various inanimate objects such as Betty whites’ false teeth and Barack Obama’s cranium. She fell out of the wormhole in a big round room surrounded by a small group of Estelle Getty clones playing strip poker. Luckily for twilight she had landed on a hole which she was somehow hovering over until she happened to look sown and fall. The Benny hill theme blared out of a room filled with mystical two headed walrus penguins that were performing a dramatic interpretation of "Kim Jong un decides to bomb America with a banana gun", a top rated musical by the famous artist "that mindless fool who sits on his duff all day writing derpy fanfictions."
Finally twilight landed on the white house lawn, where she witnessed George w. bush successfully besting Richard Nixon in a bikini jell-o wrestling match with bill gates refereeing the whole thing. Twilights eyes burst into flames and she lifted off the ground as her rectum started to violently dispense butterflies and rainbows in a vibrant display of anal prowess. She blasted into the atmosphere and exploded into a pile of pancakes and hats. If I could think of a way to continue the story I would but I can’t so, all hail the Chinese cheese biscuit!!!!
THE END
