Party Every Dayby Esle YnopemosChapters1: The Solution is Pie [Romance]1.5: Recipe For Love [Romance]2: Dr. Pie [Slice of Life] [Comedy]3: Tails By Default [Slice of Life]4: Fun While It Lasted [Sad]5: Ode to a Pony In Orange [Comedy]6: Assasination [Romance]7: Clyde Pie and the World [Sad]9: No Good At Foalsitting [Romance] [Slice of Life]10: Legend of a Birthday [Slice of Life]11: The Night In Between [Comedy] [Romance]12: How Equestria Was Made [No Tag]13: The Party Planner [Comedy] [Slice of Life]15: Bath Time [Comedy]16: Her Favorite Color [Romance]17: Mixed Signals [Comedy]18: Putting Up a Fight [Romance]19: Pink and Diamond [Slice of Life]20: Petrified [Adventure] [Semi-Dark]21: Blinkie's Friend [Slice of Life]22: My Little Princess [Slice of Life]23: The Days Are Just Packed [Slice of Life]24: Free Ice Cream [Not-Quite-So-Sad]25: Loud [Comedy]26: Can't Quite Remember the Details [Sad]27: We Do [Romance]28: Throwing Pies [Sad]29: Zonk! [Crossover] [Comedy]30: I've Got Everything [Romance]8: Cover Charge [Romance] [Comedy]14: The Angst Hotline [Comedy]Bonus #1: I'll Never Forget You [Comedy] [Romance]1: The Solution is Pie [Romance]((Prompt: Apple Pie.)) Pinkie Pie had a problem. Applejack had a crush. Actually, no. That wasn't a problem. Crushes were great. They made ponies have fluttery warm-fuzzy feelings. They led to cuddles and nuzzling and smooches. The fact that one of Pinkie's best friends in the whole world had a crush was such great news that Pinkie could hardly contain her squeaks of excitement and glee. But contain them she did, because the problem was in who Applejack had a crush on. Applejack had a crush on Fluttershy. Again, that wasn't a bad thing by itself. Fluttershy was really, really cute, and super nice, and a pony would have to be crazy not to have a crush on her. Applejack wasn't crazy—in fact, she was the most not-crazy pony Pinkie knew—so of course she had a crush on Fluttershy. The problem, that one nibbly bit of trouble that made Applejack having a crush on Fluttershy into just a little bit less than the superific news it should have been, was that Fluttershy was already seeing somepony, and it wasn't Applejack. Pinkie Pie had a problem, because the pony Fluttershy was seeing was Pinkie Pie. It was a doozy of a problem. Pinkie pondered, and she thought, and she scrunched her face up really hard, and she still couldn't think of a solution that would leave everypony happy. Pinkie could stop dating Fluttershy so that Applejack would have a chance, but then Fluttershy would think Pinkie didn't want to keep dating her, and Fluttershy would be sad. Pinkie could invite Applejack to come with her and Fluttershy on their dates and have a wonderful three-pony pileup of love, but Pinkie didn't think Applejack or Fluttershy were the kinds of ponies that were very well-suited to three-pony pileups of love. Applejack would get all awkward and uncomfortable, if she didn't just turn the idea down in the first place, and Fluttershy would squeak and blush really hard and try to hide under her mane. But Pinkie couldn't just do nothing, either. Applejack dragged her hooves and sighed wherever she went, and every time Pinkie saw her, Applejack said “Hi Pinkie,” in a tone of voice that said, “I'm trying really hard not to be jealous because you're my best friend, but every time I see you I remember how bad I wish Fluttershy was with me instead of you.” That was a really complicated tone of voice to pull off, and it had to make her tired to talk like that. Pinkie eventually came up with a solution that would hopefully work. This solution was to throw a party, of course. Pinkie was of the strong conviction that there were few things in life that could not be made better with a party. But it couldn't be just any party. The wrong type of party would just make things worse. For example, if she threw a party celebrating the fact that she and Fluttershy had just had their longest session of cuddles yet, that would make Applejack even sadder! No, this party had to be the right type of party. A surgical strike-party rather than a nuclear party bomb. This party had to have just the right decorations, and just the right games and snacks, and most importantly, she had to invite just the right ponies. Pinkie carefully penned the address on the envelope and stuck a stamp on it. She needed it to get to its recipient as quick as possible, so she waited by the mailbox and gave the mailmare some extra bits when she took the letter. * “What was this party for, again, Pinkie?” Applejack still spoke in her 'trying not to be jealous' voice. Pinkie was sure that had to be hard on her throat. Pinkie filled a cup with punch and slid it over to her. “Arbor Day,” she said, grinning. Applejack raised a skeptical eyebrow. “Pinkie, I work with trees for a living, an' I happen to know Arbor Day was last week.” Pinkie giggled. “Well yeah, the day was last week, but did you have a party then?” The farmer stared into her drink. “I s'pose not.” “Well there you go!” Pinkie's ear flickered as the door creaked open. In the doorway stood a blue-gray earth pony with a straight mane and tail. She winced nervously as the door swung shut behind her. “I, uh, I'm sorry I'm late,” she said quietly. “Blinkie!” Pinkie covered the length of the room in two enthusiastic bounces and wrapped the new arrival in a big hug. “You made it! I was worried the invitation didn't get to you in time, or you were too busy with the rock farm, or you got carried off by a wild pterannodon and had dozens of incredible adventures on your long trek back home!” Blinkie shook her head. “Um, no, the train was just a little late. Hi, Pinkie.” Pinkie squeezed her even harder, and without setting her down, dragged her over to the punch table. Applejack blinked in curiosity as Pinkie grabbed her and Blinkie's hooves and placed them together in a hoofshake. “Blinkie, this is my best friend Applejack. She runs a farm here in Ponyville, except for that one time when I ran the farm instead and she sewed things, but usually she runs it. Applejack, this is my sister Blinkie. She also runs a farm!” Blinkie shook her head. “I don't run it, Pinkie.” “When's the last time Mom and Dad were the ones to make a decision for the farm?” Pinkie asked. Blinkie's eyes cast toward the ground. “Ten years.” Pinkie grinned and patted her friend and sister on the back, inching them closer together. “I'll let you farm ponies get acquainted. It looks like they're running out of dip at the other table!” Before either pony could speak up, Pinkie disappeared in a pink blur. Applejack coughed into her hoof. “So, uh, what do ya grow on your farm?” “Rocks,” Blinkie said. “This year we have a crop of pumice and some shale coming in.” “Ya don't say?” Applejack took a sip of punch, a glimmer of interest in her eye. “I gotta admit I'm a bit curious. How do ya grow rocks, an' what is it ya do with 'em?” A cautious smile formed on Blinkie's lips. “Oh, well see, it's actually an important cornerstone of the economy...” 1.5: Recipe For Love [Romance]((Prompt: Apple Pie.)) Two and a half pounds of sliced apples. Applejack let the sliced apples simmer on the stove. She didn't want to leave them on for too long, just enough to get them good and soft. She hummed to herself as she gathered the rest of her ingredients together on the counter. Three cups of flour. She kneaded the dough, careful not to let it stick to her hooves. Applejack smoothed it into a flat sheet and put it into the round pan. She crimped the dough on the edges to leave a nicely ruffled crust. Three quarters cups sugar. The timer dinged, and Applejack slid the pot off of the stove. She let the apples drain before adding the sugar and cinnamon to them. The filling congealed into a crusty, juicy goo. Applejack grinned as she dumped it into the pan and put the remaining strips of dough in a criss-cross pattern over the top. Bake until crust is golden brown. Applejack cleaned up the kitchen while she waited for the pie to bake. She damped a rag and wiped down all the counter tops. All of the dishes and measuring cups were piled into the sink and doused in suds. She continued humming as she scrubbed the spoons and bowls. Leave out until cool. Applejack caught her sister's attention as she ran through the fields with her friends. She gave the filly enough bits to buy some cupcakes for the three of them, and sent her into town with a note to give to Pinkie when they got to Sugarcube Corner. She leaned against the windowsill, taking a deep breath of the pie's rich scent as she watched the fillies race each other down the road to Ponyville. Enjoy with friends or family. Pinkie arrived at Sweet Apple Acres. “Hello?” she said, slowing to a trot as she approached the front door of the farmhouse. “Applejack? You said you wanted to see me?” There was no answer. She found a note pinned to the door. “Meet me in the north field,” she read aloud. A grin spread across her face. “Ooh, a game!” Pinkie began bouncing off into the north field. The north field, much like the east, west and south fields, consisted of rows upon rows of apple trees. On the second row in, Pinkie found another note. “Left three trees,” she read. “One, two, three.” There was another note folded on the ground at the base of this tree. Pinkie bent down to nose it open. “Look... up?” As Pinkie's eyes raised, an apple pie fell from the branches above, guided towards her face by orange hooves. Gooey chunks of fruit filling and crispy crust spattered all over her pink coat. “Surprise, sugarcube!” Pinkie blinked in surprise for a moment, a piece of apple dripping from her chin as she stared at Applejack, who hung from a branch of her tree with a broad grin on her face. A giggle built up in Pinkie's throat, and her lips spread into a matching smile. “Omigosh, I've been apple-pied!” she exclaimed. Pinkie stuck her tongue out and managed to clear a significant portion of the pie from her face in one wet slurp. “Mmm, delicious!” Applejack darted forward and licked away a spot Pinkie had missed on her cheek. “Happy one-month anniversary, hon.” Author's Note Wait, 1.5? What's the deal, Esle? This has the same prompt as the first chapter! I wrote two stories for this prompt, because I had the incredible fortune of getting Apple Pie for my first prompt after starting on Pinkie Pie. Anyone who knows me knows I absolutely adore Apple Pie, and I got the prompt for it just as I was able to do something with it! I had to do something special for the opportunity. 2: Dr. Pie [Slice of Life] [Comedy]((Prompt: Twilight experiments on Pinkie.)) Subject displays symptoms of unhappiness. Corners of mouth affected by gravity more significantly than rest of body. Eyebrows attracted to center of face. Left eyelid affected by occasional twitch. Overall effect not unlike the face a pony would make after eating a lemon whole. Two possible preliminary prognoses: One, subject has ingested whole lemon. Two, subject is afflicted with a severe case of the grumps. Beginning diagnostics to check for lemon consumption. Breath negative for citric smells. May need to recommend improved oral hygiene to subject. Upon opening subject's mouth for inspection, no traces of lemon-rind found. Also almost had hoof bitten off. Mouth too small and cute to have swallowed lemon without chewing, unless it was a very small lemon. ...Possible, but unlikely. More likely a grumps infection. Seeking verbal confirmation. “Hey Twilight, did you eat a really tiny lemon? Because you look like you might have eaten a lemon.” Eyelid twitch still present. “What do you think?” Subject does not give clear response one way or the other. Will begin treatment for grumps, have backup plan ready in case of tiny lemons. Begin phase one of grumps treatment. If face can be manually reset to smiley-wiley mode, rest of symptoms of grumps usually will disappear. Manual modifications to facial expression do not take. Snarled lips stretched too firmly into frown for hooves to move into recommended position. Was afraid of this; grumps have advanced into grumpy-pants stage. Will have to take drastic measures. “Hey, Twilight! What do you call the Cake twins when they're upset? Crab-Cakes! Get it?” Subject still unresponsive. Possibly descending further into grumpy-pants syndrome. “Twi? Twilight?” Subject beginning to growl. “Twilight, are you angry?” “What tipped you off, Pinkie?” Begin sharing diagnostic process with subject. Subject interrupts at the part about little lemons. “Yes! Yes, I am angry, Pinkie!” Grumps diagnostic confirmed! But too early to celebrate just yet. Subject has remained resistant to traditional cures so far. At this point, even a cake might not be enough to restore healthy levels of giggles and grins. With nothing left to fall back on, it is time to go into untested treatment options and hope for the best. “Twilight... I'm sorry for breaking your expensive science-thingy.” “And?” “And... and for arranging the pieces into a found-object sculpture of a pony licking an ice-cream cone.” “And?” “And I'll help you and Spike clean it up and work on paying off a new one for you.” Success! Subject's face losing frowny-wowniness, and is offering a hug! “You don't have to pay for a new one, Pinkie. But you need to be careful with the things you find down here. Some of this stuff can be very dangerous if not handled properly. You could have been hurt.” 3: Tails By Default [Slice of Life]((Prompt: Let's decide with a coin toss.)) On one of her frequent strolls through Ponyville, Twilight Sparkle noticed her friend Pinkie Pie acting strangely. That in itself was not so unusual, as Pinkie was always acting strangely. It was generally called 'Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie.' But while Pinkie's antics were a common occurrence, they always proved to be interesting, so Twilight moved closer to investigate. The bubbly baker had her tail gripped firmly in her mouth, and her forehooves crossed in front of her. She balanced a single shiny bit on her nose and kept throwing it onto the cobblestones. Whatever Pinkie was trying to accomplish, it seemed she was not having much luck, as every time she threw the bit onto the ground she made a frustrated grunt. Twilight cleared her throat. “Do I dare ask what you're doing, Pinkie?” Pinkie's eyes slipped from the coin on her nose to her friend. Her irritation melted under a bright smile as she greeted Twilight. “Oh, hi, Twilight! I'm trying to trick my Pinkie-sense!” The hairs on the back of Twilight's neck prickled. She got that familiar feeling she remembered from that one time she wanted to see what happened when a growth spell was cast on an ant. That tiny voice telling her it was a bad idea, but so tempting for the sheer science of it. She suddenly realized she was drooling. Twilight wiped her mouth and cleared her throat. “You're, uh, you're doing what?” “Tricking my Pinkie-sense,” Pinkie confirmed, shaking her tail. “I want to flip a coin to decide something, but I can't because my Pinkie-sense tells me what side it's going to land on before I toss it!” That explained the coin. “What are you trying to decide, Pinkie?” Pinkie pointed toward the ice cream shop across the street. “I can't decide whether to spend this bit that I found on an ice cream cone, or to throw it in this wishing well and wish for an ice cream cone!” Twilight now noticed the stone well behind Pinkie. Twilight raised her brow. “Wouldn't you be better off just getting the ice cream for yourself?” “Well yeah, I'm more likely to get ice cream if I go and buy it.” Pinkie put a hoof to her chin. “Unless they're all out of ice cream,” she added. “But if I wish for ice cream and then get it, then that ice cream will be extra-special because my wish came true!” Twilight sighed. “I suppose I can't argue with that logic. So what's the problem?” Pinkie waved a hoof at her tail. “I can't flip a coin without already knowing what it's gonna land on! When a coin is gonna be heads, my tail gets tingly. When it's gonna be tails—” “Your head gets tingly,” Twilight finished for her. Pinkie shook her head. “No, when it's gonna be tails, my right hoof cramps up. Tingly head is for swarms of locusts.” “Oh.” Twilight furrowed her brow in thought. “You know, Pinkie, I actually think I can help you.” Pinkie bounced in place. “You can?” “Yes. See, I've been discussing anesthetic spells with Dr. Stable recently, and I've picked up a few things from him.” Twilight gestured toward Pinkie. “I can make your tail and hoof go numb so that you can't feel them when you flip the coin.” Pinkie's eyes widened. “You could do that for me?” Twilight grinned and nodded. “Whenever you're ready.” Her horn glowed a soft magenta. Pinkie centered the bit on the tip of her nose. “Okay, do it!” Her tail and right hoof were bathed in a sparkling aura. Pinkie lifted her hoof and waved it around. “Hehee, that feels funny!” “Any Pinkie-sense coming through?” Twilight asked. “Nope!” Pinkie smiled broadly. “Okay, heads I go and buy ice cream, tails it goes in the wishing well!” With a flick of her head, she sent the bit flying. The little piece of gold sailed through the air, bounced off a street lamp with a 'clang,' and ended up spinning on its side on the edge of the wishing well. The bit wobbled, wavered, and finally fell into the well with a tiny splash. Pinkie peered over the edge into the water. “Aww,” she complained, “Now I'll never know what side it landed on!” Twilight giggled and put a hoof on her back. “Well, I've got two bits right here, and they're coming up heads for me. Let's go get some ice cream.” 4: Fun While It Lasted [Sad]((Prompt: Maybe it's better that way...)) It's really kinda silly, if you think about it. But then again, 'silly' is the word you would use to describe the whole day in which I've lived. Born in a silly place from a silly mare who had a silly wish. Lived a silly life doing silly things. About to die taking a silly test. Oh, I shouldn't put it like that. I'm not going to die when they send me back. I just... don't know what I am going to do instead of dying. I won't keep the memories I made today, or else I would remember the other lives I've lived. I won't keep these lovely pink hooves, or else that pond would be full of hooves of every shape and color. So if I'm not dying, but I don't get to keep anything from my life, what do I call it? Look at her. Bless her, she's managed to convince herself she's one of us. So worried that she's lost herself and become nothing in this sea of pink. It really is obvious which one is the rea—the original Pinkie. If her friends just paid a bit of attention, they wouldn't need to do this test. I bet I could do it, if I tried. I bet I could outlast her. It's sorely tempting. Just keep this borrowed life, keep the lessons I've learned and the memories I've formed. I've spent aeons being nothing, I could almost certainly beat this mare in a contest of patience. Because between me and her, that's all this test really is, is patience. It's meant as a test of her love for her friends, and that might work to separate her from the rest of my sisters, but it won't sort me out. I love her friends, too. That's silly, I know. I've only had a day with them, whereas she has had years. What makes me so special that I think I can form as close a bond in a single day? I don't know the answer to that. I only know that the first thing I saw of this world that truly touched me was the way her friends look at her—or at who they thought was her. Just a moment's glance conveyed so much love, such concern. I saw how much they cared for her, and I found something far beyond fun. I wanted it. In the same heartbeat that brought my first taste of love, I had my first taste of envy as well. Maybe they had been looking at me, but that look had been meant for her. She gets friends. She gets love. I get a hot bolt of magic that makes me forget my dreams and desires and love. It isn't fair. Maybe I should try for it after all. Does she really deserve all these things, just because she was here first? Why shouldn't it be me? Why can't it be me? Ah, but then there's her friends. The whole reason this life would be worth fighting for. Taking her place wouldn't make them love me. They would still love her, and just never know the difference. If I ever told them what I had done, they would not wrap me in teary-eyed embraces and say they forgive me. Their faces would go pale in heart-breaking horror, and I would become the Thing That Took Pinkie Away. If I love them like I say I do, I can't do that to them. If I love them like I say I do, then I must admit that they deserve to have their Pinkie, not some imitation. Not some copy that came up with something she thinks of as profound in her one day of life and thinks that earns her a spot at their side. If that's it, then I suppose there's no need to keep up with this farce of a test. But I may as well take a few pretenders along with me. You're a lucky pony, Pinkie Pie. “Hey, look what I can do!” It's been fun. Author's Note Feels! Feels for the Pinkie Clone! 5: Ode to a Pony In Orange [Comedy]((Prompt: Once upon a rhyme. Special rule: No mention of Zecora or Zebras.)) “Hey Twilight, come in here! You're gonna want in on this bet!” Twilight Sparkle's ears perked up as Rainbow Dash leaned out a window of Sugarcube Corner and yelled across the street at her. The pegasus beckoned her inside and disappeared back into the window. Curious, Twilight trotted across and pushed open the door. All of her friends were gathered around a table atop which stood Pinkie Pie. Pinkie was busy stretching her jaw muscles out while the others dug into their bitpurses and placed wagers. A small sigh escaped Twilight's lips. “Please tell me nopony dared her to eat some unhealthy amount of cheese or something.” Pinkie grinned and shook her head. “Nopers! We all learned our lesson the last time that happened!” Rainbow flapped her wings. “Pinkie says she can rhyme the word 'orange.'” Twilight raised her eyebrow. “Pinkie, you know there's no rhyme for orange.” Pinkie frowned. Then she grinned. Then frowned again. “Sorry Twilight,” she said, shaking her lips out. “I can't hear you over the sound of you all being about to be flabbergasted!” Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “Rarity and I each bet her twenty bits she couldn't do it. Applejack's putting her bits on Pinkie, either because she can't spell or because she doesn't like money, I'm not sure which.” “Hey!” Applejack barked at her. “I put a bit down on both sides,” Fluttershy said, raising a hoof. “I didn't want anypony to feel left out.” Twilight looked at them all. “This is juvenile, girls, placing bets like this. Don't you all have better things to do?” The mares grew quiet for a moment and looked at one another. Then as one they all burst out laughing. Rainbow wiped a mirthful tear from her eye. “So, how much are you putting down, Twi?” Twilight shot a glance up to Pinkie Pie. “Made-up words don't count, Pinkie.” “Every word was made up sometime or another,” Pinkie replied. “Well, it has to be in the Equestrian Dictionary or you can't use it.” Twilight said. After a moment's thought, she added, “And you can't scribble it into the margins.” “'Kay.” Twilight sighed and dug out her bitpurse. “Put me down for five on 'can't.'” “Only five, darling?” Rarity asked. “This is easy money, dear.” “I already have a feeling I'm going to regret betting against Pinkie Pie,” Twilight responded, burying her face in her hooves. Pinkie bounced on the table, making the bits at her hooves clatter and wobble. “All right, is everypony ready?” “Let's hear it, Pinkie.” Applejack clapped her hooves together. “Ahem.” Pinkie Pie cleared her throat. “This is entitled, 'Ode to a Pony in Orange.' In fruit-bucking circles they speak of a farm-filly who is far, far from meek. This pony in orange can go and buck more in j- -ust a day than most can in a week!” 6: Assasination [Romance]((Prompt: The sentence that destroys and/or heals Twilight Sparkle.)) Canterlot was beautiful. Its tall marble towers and lush gardens and breathtaking vistas all made it almost universally hailed as the most attractive city in Equestria. The cool, crisp air from the mountain kept the city from ever getting too hot in the summer, and magical warm springs kept it warm in the winter. All of the open-air architecture and friendly, inviting spaces made it easy to forget one simple fact: Canterlot was a fortress. It stood on the side of a lone mountain, overlooking miles and miles of its own approach. The alabaster spires could field swarms of armored pegasi at a moment's notice, and there was always at least two unicorn shield-specialists ready at all times to deploy a magical bubble around the whole city. In the wake of the changeling invasion, the Equestrian Intelligence Agency's funding had been tripled, ensuring that anything spoken within the borders of Canterlot would soon reach Celestia's ears. No force in the known world could possibly threaten the seat of Equestrian power, whether by land, by air, or by infiltration. Which was why everypony was shocked the day that Princess Twilight Sparkle was assassinated. The assassin knocked on the princess's chamber door. She got no invitation to enter, but she pushed the door open anyway. “Twilight?” she called. The dry scrape of quills on parchment echoed from the same corner it had the last time she had come. The assassin stepped fully into the room and looked to see Twilight at her desk. “Hello, Pinkie,” the princess said, not looking up from her work. Pinkie grinned. “Hey Twilight, let's go out and play tag in the garden!” She covered the chamber in the blink of an eye, and tapped Twilight on the shoulder. “You're it!” The princess still did not look up from the stack of papers on her desk. “I'm busy,” she said. “Besides,” she added, spreading her wings, “It would be a bit one-sided.” “I can tie a hoof behind my back to make it fair,” Pinkie said, bouncing on three hooves. Twilight did not respond. Pinkie's grin dimmed slightly. “Come on, Twilight, it's a beautiful day out!” A brief sigh escaped the princess's lips. “Pinkie, this stuff is important. Maybe later, okay?” Pinkie's ears sagged. “Oh... Okie dok...” She paused. Her lips slowly hardened into a thin line. “No, actually not okie dokie, loki!” Twilight's eyes finally raised from the papers. “Excuse me?” “'Later' is supposed to be in an hour or two,” Pinkie said, her voice rising to a level of agitation Twilight had never heard come from the pink mare. “It doesn't mean 'tomorrow' or 'next week' or 'in four months!'” Pinkie's chest heaved. “Pinkie, I...” “Four months, Twilight!” She was shouting now. “You still haven't given me a chance to throw you a coronation party yet! I quit my job with the Cakes so that I could come out here and make sure you didn't get lonely!” “Pinkie, I told you not to do that,” Twilight said, trying her best to calm her friend down. Pinkie's eyes slipped to the floor. “I... I can't...” she sniffed. “I'm sorry, Twilight, but I can't do it anymore. I thought I could make you happy, but...” And then the assassin dealt the killing blow. “I'm going back to Ponyville. Goodbye, Twilight.” The princess reeled back in her chair, mortally wounded. She gasped for air, her papers flying off of the desk as her killer slowly turned around and plodded back out into the hallway. With the last of her life, the princess watched a pink tail disappear behind the door. And in a bright flash of light, Princess Twilight Sparkle was destroyed. In the hallway, Twilight Sparkle was reborn. Watery tears filled her eyes as she grimaced at Pinkie Pie. Like a vengeful phantom, she stuck out her hoof at the pink pony, shaking. She tapped Pinkie on the nose. “You're it,” she whispered. Then Twilight Sparkle turned and flew out the window. 7: Clyde Pie and the World [Sad]((Prompt: For years, I clung to the memory of it. Then the memory of the memory. And then nothing. I look upon you and feel nothing. I remember nothing but you turning your back on me, along with all the others.)) He sat alone on a lump of rock that marked the border of his land. To say that he sat scowling would be accurate, but redundant; he always scowled. Rather than sitting at his perch to look upon the outside world, he looked only inward, at his own farm. He never looked at the world beyond his farm. There were a good many things, in fact, that Clyde Pie never did. He never sang. He never laughed. He never danced the pony-pokey all night until his legs threatened to trot right away from his body and go to bed without him. But most of all, he never looked at the outside world. It was a world that did not deserve to have his eyes. It was a world that had only brought him misery and hurt. It was a world that had only ever spat on him and tried to crush him. It was a world that had stolen all three of his daughters from him. Pinkamena had been the first to go. After the hullabaloo in the barn—what had she called it? A party? Something like that—it shouldn't have come as a surprise that her aspirations would lead her away from the rock farm. She had always been an odd filly. It still had shocked him. Susan had held his leg so tightly he had lost feeling in his hoof the day Pinkamena had packed her things, gave them all hugs, and set off in search of more ponies she could make smile. The world had swallowed her up the moment she had passed the rock he now sat on. Every once in a while he received letters from a 'Pinkie Pie,' but the world had taken away his Pinkamena. Inktavia had been next. Shortly after the party, she had developed a passion for the music Pinkamena had played on the old phonograph. Inktavia would spend hours—every moment she had away from her chores—up in her room listening to the chorus of strings ring out from the spinning vinyl. Clyde and Susan had bought her that used cello for her birthday, hoping that if she could play her music here, she wouldn't need to leave. It didn't work. She had taken to the instrument like a fish to water, and before the end of two years she was gone, off to join an orchestra in Canterlot. But surely sweet Blinkastasia would stay. Rock-farming was in her bones and blood. Her cutie mark was of the very earth and stone they lived on. It was her destiny. Destiny was a fickle, damnable thing. It was Blinkastasia's destiny to work with rocks, for sure, but not on the Pie family's farm. Clyde Pie was the furthest thing from a violent stallion, but the day that slimy colt Marble Quarry had seduced his daughter off of the farm with promises of untold wealth and adventure as his head geologist, he'd had dark, dark thoughts of what he would do if he ever caught Marble on his land again. The world had taken Clyde's daughters from him, so he sat on his rock with his back facing the world and watched the shadows of clouds roll past his fields. He could see Susan in the east field, rotating a small chunk of granite. Sunlight glinted off of the new rows of obsidian, jagged edges sparkling gray. He heard hoofsteps approaching from behind him. He did not turn. Clyde Pie never turned to greet strangers. The hoofsteps stopped a little way away from him. “Daddy?” Clyde thought he knew that voice, but he knew he couldn't. That was the voice of his Pinkamena, and Pinkamena was gone. The pony behind him was a part of the world that had taken his daughters away, and he wanted nothing to do with her. A few more hoofsteps brought the stranger closer. “Daddy, it's me, Pinkie.” He kept his eyes trained on his land. Clyde Pie never spoke with anypony that had a name like 'Pinkie.' “I'm sorry I don't visit as often as I said I would,” said this 'Pinkie.' “It's... it's harder than I thought to come back.” His expression didn't change. Clyde Pie never let strangers' words affect him. Pink hooves wrapped around his chest from behind. A soft, curly mane pressed against his back. “I missed you, Daddy.” He didn't cry. Clyde Pie never, ever cried. That was a lie. 9: No Good At Foalsitting [Romance] [Slice of Life]((Prompt: Pinkie has to watch the Cake twins again, but this time it’s Pinkie’s special somepony that bears the brunt of the twins’ wrath.)) The chime rang as the front door to Sugarcube Corner swung open. Mrs. Cake looked up from what appeared to be an inventory list of some sort. “Oh, there she is,” she said. “And Rarity, too. Hello, dearie!” Rarity smiled in greeting as Pinkie spoke up. “Hi, Mrs. Cake. Is it all right if Rarity helps me watch Pound and Pumpkin tonight?” “Of course,” she said. “Carrot, dear, are you about ready?” she called up the stairs. “Just about,” he replied, emerging at the top. He was in the midst of fiddling with a tie. “Hello, Rarity. Did you two have a good time out last night?” “It was lovely,” Rarity said, drawing a little nearer to Pinkie and her smile growing a little warmer. “Pinkie was quite gallant, and her... enthusiasm at the play did not go unappreciated.” Pinkie grinned at this. “I do hope you have as good a time yourself.” “We will.” Mr. Cake helped his wife put on a pearl necklace and they headed for the door. “Thank you for taking care of the twins tonight.” Pinkie bounced. “No problem!” “Have fun,” Rarity called after them as they left. Her smile remained on her face as she shut the door, but faded as soon as the latch clicked. “All right, Pinkie, spill.” Pinkie Pie already had the twins climbing over her. She giggled. “There's no need for the flour trick right now, Pound and Pumpkin are already happy!” “That's cute, dear,” Rarity said, “But you and I both know I'm about as much help with the foals as the first creature you would come across in the Everfree.” She lifted her hoof and curled her lip as a drooling, gurgling Pumpkin Cake crawled toward her. Pinkie picked up Pumpkin and set her on Rarity's back, much to the mare's protest. “That's not true, Rarity!” Pumpkin wiggled and nearly fell off, but Rarity shifted her weight to keep her balanced. “I've all the maternal instincts of a pit viper, darling. Either you suffer from a case of extremely poor judgment, or when you asked me to help you with the foals, what you really wanted was to talk.” She put her hoof to her chin. “On second thought, a pit viper probably wouldn't complain as much about the smell.” Pinkie sniffed. “Ooh, good catch, Rarity! Smells like somepony needs a fresh diaper!” She grabbed Pound and carried him over to the changing table. “Rarity? A hoof?” Rarity suppressed a shudder. “What do you need, darling?” “Just give me the baby powder and a fresh diaper from over there while I have my hooves full.” “Oh,” she said, relieved. “That's it?” Rarity levitated said objects to her marefriend. “Mhm,” Pinkie said, flinging the old diaper into the garbage bin. Pound frowned a bit at his fresh diaper. Rarity shared his frown. “Darling, I think you put it on backwards.” Her horn lit up, and the diaper readjusted itself. With a thought, she added a ribbon. “There. Fit and snug, and as dapper as a diaper might be.” Pound babbled and stomped his hooves on the floor happily. Pinkie grinned. “Okay, now it's time to put them down for a nap.” She gathered a squirming Pound into her hooves, and Rarity followed her up the stairs with Pumpkin still on her back. Pinkie took both the foals and tucked them into their crib. “Could you sing to them, Rarity?” “Me?” Rarity frowned uncertainly. “Darling, you have a much better singing voice than I do.” “I'm good at singing songs to cheer ponies up,” Pinkie said, “but I'm no good at lullabies. Please, Rarity?” Rarity glanced at the foals, who stared back up at her with wide eyes. She took a deep breath. “Very well... Hush now, quiet now, it's time to lay your sleepy head...” A few minutes later, the twins snored softly. Pinkie covered a long yawn with a hoof. “You were right, Rarity, there was something I wanted to talk to you about.” Rarity sat by the crib, peering down at the sleeping foals. “What did you need, love?” Pinkie nuzzled into her side, a content smile on her lips. “I want to know if you think we should adopt foals for ourselves some day.” Author's Note My headcanon places this in continuity with Five Minutes. 10: Legend of a Birthday [Slice of Life]((Prompt: The birthday of a legend.)) It was quiet. Too quiet. Twilight glanced around nervously, taking stock of Ponyville around her. Ponies walked the streets, chatting amiably as they made their way to and from their destinations. In the market, merchants hawked their wares while customers browsed through the goods. Birds chirped and flew across the bright blue sky. All in all, it was a very normal, peaceful day. Too normal. Too peaceful. Where was Pinkie? Twilight suddenly realized that she had not seen the party mare around town in the past week. She had caught glimpses of her darting in and out of the back rooms in Sugarcube Corner, and she had noticed light and noise coming from the window in the upper story late at night, but Ponyville had been mostly Pinkie-less for a whole week. Twilight swallowed. She did not like to subscribe to premonitions, but she had a feeling like the calm before a storm. Much like old ponies did not need to check the weather schedule because they could feel it in their bones when a rainstorm was gathering, Twilight could tell something big was about to happen. Pinkie Pie was about to happen. It began with the pink pony wheeling her party cannon out the back of the store. The barrel's caliber had been doubled, and thick, heavy supports had been welded to the sides. With a single-minded focus, Pinkie placed the cannon in the middle of the main thoroughfare and aimed the barrel straight up. She spent a good fifteen minutes ratcheting down all the supports and double-checking their sturdiness as ponies flowed around her, mild curiosity on their faces. Satisfied that her cannon was set up properly, Pinkie zipped back into the store. Twilight looked at the oversized piece of artillery, chewing her lip. Before she had a chance to investigate it any closer, though, Pinkie re-emerged with a similarly oversized artillery shell balanced on her back. The shell appeared to be made of tightly-packed confetti and streamers. Pinkie unfolded a ladder and climbed up to load the shell into the muzzle of the gun. Twilight finally opened her mouth to speak. “Pinkie, what—” Pinkie dropped to the ground and gave the firing cord a swift tug. A deafening boom rocked the entire town. The shell shot into the air, a contrail of streamers behind it as it climbed for the sky. As it reached its apex, it burst. A rain of multicolored confetti and streamers and banners covered Ponyville in a layer of festive decoration. “IT'S BIRTHDAY!” Pinkie shouted, throwing her forehooves above her head. The denizens of Ponyville blinked in shock as confetti gathered about their fetlocks. Twilight picked herself off the ground, rubbing her ears. She was certain she was going to go deaf before she turned thirty. “It's your birthday, Pinkie? I thought it was in March.” Pinkie giggled and shook her head. “No, no, it's not my birthday. Today is the Birthday!” “The Birthday?” Twilight repeated. “Yeah! Today's the day we celebrate the birth of birthdays!” A party hat floated down from the sky and landed a little askew on Pinkie's head. Twilight tilted her head. “You're gonna have to explain this one to me.” “This is one of the first things you learn in partyology,” Pinkie said, draping a hoof over her friend's shoulders. “See, two thousand years ago, in the Romare Empire, there weren't any birthdays! Ponies just got older, and that was it!” Pinkie produced a cupcake from—actually, Twilight wasn't sure where she had gotten it—and took a bite. “But then came a pony called Partius Timaeus. He loved parties, but they only happened on holidays. The day he had been born on was right in the middle of that long stretch between Winter Wrap-Up and the Summer Sun Celebration where there isn't really any good partying holidays, so he declared that any day a pony was born on counts as a partying day!” Twilight wanted to point out that the Summer Sun Celebration wasn't made a holiday until after the fall of the Romare Empire, but she was instead dragged along as Pinkie continued. “Partius wasn't in any kind of position of power to make that kind of declaration, but he just happened to have the same birthday as the Emperor, who thought it was a great idea. So they threw the first birthday party!” Twilight stopped. “Wait. You said Partius' birthday was between Winter Wrap-Up and the Summer Sun Celebration.” “Uh huh,” Pinkie said, nodding. “Pinkie, it's fall right now.” Pinkie Pie picked up a party hat and patted it onto Twilight's head. “Twilight, Twilight, Twilight,” she tutted. “Didn't you get the message from the story? Any time's a good time to celebrate Birthday!” 11: The Night In Between [Comedy] [Romance]((Prompt: The day before and the day after.)) The twins were finally settled in for the night. Mrs. Cake gently shut the door and made her way down the hall. She spotted light pouring out of Pinkie's open door. Quiet giggles and wet lip-smacking sounds drifted from the room. Yawning, Mrs. Cake peeked in. “Good night, Pink—” She stopped mid-sentence. “Pinkie, what are you doing?” The live-in employee of Sugarcube Corner looked up. She had her forehooves wrapped around herself, enclosing her own back, and her lips were puckered. A wide grin spread across her muzzle. “I'm practicing!” she said. “Practicing?” The elder baker's eyebrows raised. “Yep!” Pinkie's hooves unwrapped themselves. “I'm warming up for when I get to sleep!” The impulse was still there to ask what was meant by that, but years of living under a roof with Pinkie Pie had taught Mrs. Cake that those sorts of questions were usually fruitless. She adopted a supportive smile. “Okay, dearie, just make sure to warm up quietly. You don't want to wake the twins.” “Will do! Good night, Mrs. Cake!” Pinkie went back to puckering her lips and hugging herself. “Mm, your mane is so soft and sparkly,” she murmured, closing her eyes. Mrs. Cake shut the door and shrugged. It was another curious incident to be filed under the heading of 'Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie.' * Princess Celestia glanced over her morning cup of coffee. Her brow arched in a graceful curve. Across the table from her, Luna hummed a soft tune to her bowl of oats. Her head swayed ever so slightly to some tune it seemed only she could hear. Her horn glowed gently as she lifted a spoonful to her mouth. “Mm, these oats are fine indeed this morning!” she proclaimed, raising her spoon skywards in emphasis. “We must convey our compliments to the royal chef!” Celestia took another sip of her coffee. “The kitchen staff does excellent work,” she agreed. “Did you have a good night, my sister?” None but Luna's own sister would have spotted the faint blush beneath her dark cheeks. “Indeed we did, sister. We must thank you for encouraging us to resume our nightly dreamwalking.” A knowing grin spread across Celestia's muzzle. “Aha. Well, it is good to see you in such a good mood this morning. Were last night's ventures anything your elder sister might be privy to?” It did not require the immortal eyes of Celestia to catch the blush that graced Luna's face this time. She coughed into her hoof and stood up. “We must find the royal chef and thank him for a most delicious breakfast!” 12: How Equestria Was Made [No Tag]((Prompt: The next step beyond alicorn.)) The fading light of sunset glittered off the golden regalia, set carefully aside on the ground. Celestia looked somehow smaller without them on. She still had her flowing mane, billowing with the colors of a spring morning, but without her crown binding it, locks of sparkling green and pink kept falling across her face. Her long, slender legs still put her head and shoulders above any normal pony, but without her gilded horseshoes, her hooves looked thin and delicate. She still stood with the posture of a creature whose rule over ponykind had gone unquestioned for a millennium, but without her barding, she looked somehow more humble. Her smile, though... Celestia's smile was unchanged. Her serene smile still glowed with the warmth of a summer morning. It was still the same smile that had always looked over Equestria and quietly conveyed a sense of pride and eternal hope. Celestia gave Twilight Sparkle her smile as she spoke to her softly. “The future I leave in your capable hooves, Twilight.” Twilight's chin trembled as she blinked in incomprehension. “B-but Prin—” A brief flicker of Celestia's eyes caused Twilight to correct the old habit. “But Celestia,” she said, “where are you going?” The faintest of laughter built in the diarch's throat. “It is not where I am going, my friend, but what I am doing. I am learning, dear Twilight. You have shown me the way.” “Shown you the way? P—Celestia, I don't understand.” Twilight's eyes shifted between her old mentor and the set of regalia on the ground. “What have I taught you?” Celestia raised her head, her eyes twinkling in the last light of sunset. “How to be more than I am,” she said. Twilight opened her mouth to speak once again, but Luna placed a gentle hoof on her back. “We will miss you, sister.” Celestia smirked. “Dear Luna, you are going to have to acclimate yourself to modern pronouns one of these days.” “You misunderstand me,” Luna said, shaking her head. “We will all miss you.” Celestia took a deep breath. “I will miss you all as well. But I shall see you again. I promise.” Luna, Celestia and Twilight shared in a long embrace. At length, the solar princess withdrew. “I must go now. You will take good care of Equestria, I know.” She took a few steps away and closed her eyes. As the last colors of twilight faded from the sky to be replaced by nighttime, a soft white glow surrounded her horn. Slowly it spread, engulfing her entirely. Steadily the light grew brighter, more intense. Celestia radiated light as though she were the sun herself, and for a brief moment, it was noon on the dais on which they stood, instead of night. As the coolness of the night returned and Twilight's eyes readjusted, there was no longer an alabaster alicorn. Only a collection of wispy sparks that twinkled and faded as a gentle breeze scattered them into the sky. Twilight sank to her haunches and leaned her head into Luna's shoulder, tears streaming from her eyes. * Celestia saw nothing, for she had no eyes, but she could tell there was light. She felt nothing, for she had no body, but she could tell there was warmth. She heard nothing, for she had no ears, but she could tell there was laughter. She did not know where she was, but it did not matter. She was everywhere and nowhere. She did not know how long it had been, but it did not matter, because time had no meaning to her. Celestia could feel herself losing something, like a piece of herself was slipping out of her grasp. Her memories. The untold centuries were eroding away, evaporating in the light. Reflexively, she fought against it, tried to shield her memories from the light. A voice came to her, and she recognized it as her own. Relax, her own memories told her, in a voice made of pictures and old conversations and emotions. This is what must happen, if we are to grow. Reluctance gripped her. After so long, her memories were all that she had. They were all that she was, and they were so very precious to her. But then she found a memory, and it was of Twilight Sparkle. She remembered her student's courage, her willingness to forge ahead in the faith that it would all work out. Celestia remembered why she was doing this, and she let go. Millenia disappeared. Old friends from long ago. Nights spent worrying over how to care for her little ponies. The night her sister fell to darkness. The night she returned to light. All of it faded into the light. Her age disappeared. Her name disappeared. The last memory she held onto was of Twilight's face as a filly, stars gleaming in her eyes as she had been accepted for training. And then that was gone, too. All there was left of the being that was no longer named Celestia was her smile. Her eternal, unwavering smile remained the very core of her being as she was given new life. She suddenly had a body once more, and could feel the warmth. She had eyes once again and could see the hazy, brilliant light. She had ears once more and could hear the wonderful voice of the world. * The doctor bore a wide grin. “I don't know if I've ever seen such a smile on a newborn before,” he remarked. He used a towel to dry the new foal off and wrapped it in a soft blanket. “Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Pie, it's a filly.” He placed the newborn in her mother's waiting arms. “What are you going to name her?” the doctor asked. “She's so pink,” the mother remarked, staring lovingly down at her child. “We'll call her Pinkamena.” Author's Note I didn't expect to be able to do much with this prompt, since I don't generally write much about the princesses (Twilight being a bit of an exception), but I believe this turned out to be my favorite story in the Pinkie Pie section, and quite possibly my favorite among all of my 30-minute stories. [No Tag] because, really, what would you tag this as? There needs to be a [In Which Celestia Reincarnates Herself As Pinkie Pie, But No, Really, It's Played Straight And Is Totally Serious And Thoughtful] tag. There's such a call for that. 13: The Party Planner [Comedy] [Slice of Life]((Prompt: All along, the Mane Six were never really the heroes.)) Ponyville had every opportunity to be a fairly grim place. As a farming village, most of its denizens had to toil long hours in the fields every day. The steep surrounding mountains, while scenic, shortened the day considerably as they cast shadows over the town at sunrise and sunset. There were always wild storms wandering out of the Everfree forest from above, and wild monsters wandering out from below. If any town ever had a reason to be an unhappy place, it was Ponyville. However, Ponyville was far from unhappy. In fact, in the most recent survey, Ponyvillians were found to be the most positive, cheerful ponies in all of Equestria. Ponies would smile brightly and wave at one another as they trotted across the cobbled roads. Weather pegasi would have a little song on their tongues as they cleared the sky, and farmers would hum along as they tended their fields. A pony could not walk through Ponyville without catching a very infectious feeling of optimism. Ponyville was a very happy place, and the town owed it all to one creature. One creature who worked tirelessly to see that every new pony was given a warm welcome. One creature that tracked the birthdays and anniversaries and every important occasion for every resident in town. One creature that made certain that whenever a party was called for, there would be one ready. That one creature stood on top of Pinkie Pie's bed, blinking one eye slowly, then starting on the other. Gummy kept one of his reptilian eyes on the clock at her bedside while the other watched the pink pony snooze. The clock ticked over to eight o-clock, and he climbed up her shoulder. A green scaly tail flicked Pinkie's ear. “Mmuh... rock candy... hm?” Pinkie stirred, but she did not rise out of bed. Gummy frowned impatiently. Actually, he stared blankly, but he knew that he was both frowning and impatient. He snapped his toothless jaws on her ear and shook. Pinkie's eyes fluttered open. She yawned and stretched her hooves out. Her eyes focused on the little alligator clamped to her ear and giggled. “Good morning, Gummy!” Gummy let go of her ear and dropped to the bedside table. There was a stack of stickers bearing the cutie marks of everypony in town. He nosed through them and pulled out one with blue horseshoes, and stuck it to the calendar. Pinkie Pie, who had been busy working the kinks out of her legs as she got out of bed, glanced at the calendar. “Omigosh,” she gasped, “Today is Caramel's birthday! I'd better wish him a happy one!” Sleepiness disappeared entirely from the pink pony's face as she bounded out of the room. Gummy hopped down off of the table and waddled over to a pink-painted wooden desk. He climbed up a few levels and tugged open the middle drawer, revealing a thick-bound ledger. Gummy pulled the ledger out and opened it on top of the desk. Caramel was the Mayor's nephew, so Gummy probably would not have much trouble reserving some space at town hall for the party. He would be sure a note found its way to the Mayor's office this morning. He glanced at the budget for balloons and snacks, and he adopted a blank stare that served as a frown. Pinkie had once again gone over budget with the party supplies at the previous day's celebration of Bon Bon's fourth year in business as a Ponyville chocolatier. The pink one's enthusiasm was a boon, but sometimes Gummy wondered if he was going to need to get a different, less wasteful pony to be his front. Perhaps that DJ he had hired once? Gummy took a quill out and dipped it in ink. He would have to move some of his stocks in the candy industry. A temporary loss, but with luck it might come back to him as a benefit in the long run. He let the ink dry before nosing the ledger shut and returning it to the drawer. Gummy hopped back onto the bed and moved up to look out the window. The top story of Sugarcube Corner was the perfect vantage to watch Ponyville. His town. A blank stare of pride beamed from his face as he glanced down at the multicolored mass of ponies shaking hooves and laughing with each other. Across the bridge on the far side, a new pony he did not recognize entered the village. He would have to make certain to point Pinkie in the newcomer's direction. Speaking of, where was she? She had left before Gummy could give her any hints on where to find Caramel. If Caramel didn't get the invitation to his own birthday in time, Gummy was not sure what he would do. The door to the room opened again. “Almost forgot,” Pinkie chirped. She bounced over to the bed and scooped Gummy in her hooves. “I love you, Gummy!” she said as she squeezed him. Ah yes. Now he remembered why he kept her around. Gummy wore a blank stare of pure bliss. 15: Bath Time [Comedy]((Prompt: A page from the comics.)) Rarity took a deep breath, inhaling the relaxing aromas of steam and the various oils and scented soaps. She let go of her breath with a happy sigh. After what had felt like an eternity dealing with difficult customers and threads that snagged and tangled and fabric that bunched up in her sewing machine, she had been looking forward to a good warm bath all day. She tested the temperature of the water with a hoof and made another pleased noise to find that it was perfect. She adjusted her bathing cap on her mane and slid into the tub. Rarity closed her eyes and leaned back against the ceramic edge, a relaxed smile smoothing out her features. “Ohh, yes, this was precisely what I needed,” she muttered softly to herself. For a while she just sat like that, letting the hot water soak into her coat. After a few minutes that were an eternity of bliss and entirely too short at the same time, she opened her eyes and set about actually washing herself. A fluffy pink sponge floated in the tub with her. “Odd,” she said, reaching for it, “My sponge is white. Whose is this?” She lifted it out of the tub, to find pair of bright blue eyes and a wide grin attached to it. “Hi, Rarity!” greeted Pinkie Pie, bathwater running off her face in rivers as Rarity picked her up by her mane. “Gah!” Rarity reeled back, nearly falling out of the tub. “Pinkie? Where in Equestria did you come from?” Pinkie tilted her head. “Didn't I ever tell you that story? I came from a rock farm! See, when I was just a little twinkie-Pinkie, there was no smiling, or talking, only rocks...” “That's not what I meant,” sputtered Rarity. “I meant where... or how... oh, nevermind!” “Okay!” Waves lapped over the side of the tub as Pinkie nodded. “Hey, Rarity, what's wrong?” Rarity blinked in silence for a moment before shaking her head. “Hm? Does something seem to be amiss?” “You look perplexed,” Pinkie said. “Oh! Is it because you're in a bath, which is kinda like a spa, and you're used to Fluttershy being there with you when you're at the spa? I think Fluttershy's busy right now, but I can do my Fluttershy impression for you!” She dunked her head underwater and used her hooves to brush her mane into a Fluttershy-esque droop. She then spoke with an unnervingly accurate replication of the yellow pegasus' voice. “Oh my, hello Rarity. Are you more comfortable with your bath? Or, um, spa?” Pinkie's mane sprang back to its full curly volume as she broke character. “Spath? Whatever you wanna call it, I hope you're having a great time of it!” Rarity simply stared. She could no longer un-hear it—Pinkie and Fluttershy had the same voice. “Oh no,” Pinkie cried, “You don't look like you're feeling better at all! Tell me what's wrong, Rarity, so that auntie Pinkie can fix it for you!” Rarity paused, licking her lips. “Well, Pinkie, darling, if you don't mind, I suppose it might help if you could answer me one question.” Water splashed around as Pinkie bounced in the tub. “Ask it!” “All right, dear. Why, precisely, are you in my bathtub, Pinkie Pie?” 16: Her Favorite Color [Romance]((Prompt: Three Primary Colors.)) A streak of red shot across the sky. Pinkie loved red. There were other colors alongside, but the red stood out the most. That was what red did. Red gave its daredevil grin with those rose eyes, and tore off through the air at speeds that shook the trees and left Pinkie breathless. Red was exciting stunts and death-defying aerobatics and fearless dives. Red was confident. Red was dauntless. Red was terrifying, and Pinkie feared if she got too close it would burn her. But red was fascinating, and Pinkie could not take her eyes off of it. Red was Pinkie's favorite color. The streak vanished in the blinding yellow of the sun, forcing Pinkie to shield her eyes. Pinkie loved yellow. Some ponies didn't see the yellow in a rainbow, hidden as it was by the boldness of red. But yellow was there. Yellow was bright and playful. Yellow ran through town with her, playing fun pranks throughout town. Yellow was warm and friendly. Yellow was always there when Pinkie needed a friendly face. Yellow laughed at jokes, and made goofy grins. Yellow invited her in with a warm smile, and Pinkie could not refuse the invitation even if she wanted to. Yellow was Pinkie's favorite color. Pinkie was suddenly surrounded by blue feathers. Pinkie loved blue. Blue was always there, as constant as the sky. Pinkie could always count on blue. Blue ranged far and wide, as free as the endless expanse above, but Pinkie need only say the word and blue would come soaring in on nimble wings. Blue was unwavering. Blue was loyal. Blue never let her down. Pinkie could close her eyes and fall back, and blue would catch her. Blue held her close with strong, sure hooves, and Pinkie never wanted to leave blue's embrace. Blue was Pinkie's favorite color. Rainbow Dash nuzzled Pinkie behind the ears, still breathing hard from her flying practice. “Hey,” she said, grinning. “Whatcha thinkin' of, Pinkie?” A happy giggle played across Pinkie Pie's lips. “Just thinking about my favorite color,” she said. “Oh?” Rainbow squeezed her in closer. “What is your favorite color, anyway?” Pinkie turned and smiled. “You're my favorite color, Dashie.” 17: Mixed Signals [Comedy]((Prompt: One of the Cutie Mark Crusaders ships the other two.)) Sweetie Belle pushed the door open and trudged into Sugarcube Corner. Her head hung low as she dragged her hooves across the tile floor and climbed up onto a stool. She gave a small, exasperated sigh, burying her face in her hooves. “Code blue! Code blue!” A bubbly voice sounded from the other side of the counter. “Get this filly a double-fudge supreme, stat! And it better have as many sprinkles as you can fit on it!” Sweetie raised her eyes to see pink hooves slide an overflowing mountain of chocolate and sprinkles in front of her. Though her stomach rumbled, she did no more than poke at the treat. “Hey, Pinkie,” she said. Pinkie Pie peered over the heap of dessert. “Hey, Sweetie. What's got you so down?” “I just can't watch it anymore,” Sweetie Belle said. “Watch what?” Pinkie asked. “Them.” Sweetie pointed her hoof at the window. Outside in the street, Apple Bloom and Scootaloo stood shouting at each other. Applejack and Rainbow Dash were nearby, having their own shouting match as well. “Oh, no!” cried Pinkie. Sweetie Belle sighed. “I know. I keep trying to tell them to stop it and get along, but it's like they want to be mad at each other or something. They just keep looking for excuses to argue!” Pinkie Pie looked out the window and rubbed her chin with a hoof. “Hmm. I wonder...” Sweetie sat up. “What?” “I wonder if it's 'cause they like each other?” Sweetie shot the mare a skeptical look. “I think that's the opposite of the problem.” Pinkie shook her head. “I mean like-like. Sometimes your sister says that when ponies like each other a whole lot, they act like they don't like each other at all!” “Really?” Sweetie Belle blinked. That didn't make any sense at all, but if Rarity said it, it had to be true. She looked out the window at her friends. Apple Bloom and Applejack both kicked up dust and turned to head back to the farm. Rainbow Dash huffed and flew off, with Scootaloo following along the ground on her scooter. Sweetie took a spoonful of her sundae and chewed thoughtfully. “Hmm. Do you really think that's it? Pinkie Pie shrugged. “It might be.” “But why would they be yelling at each other instead of, you know, calling each other 'shmoopy-doopy' or something?” Sweetie took another bite. “You know, I don't think Rarity ever explained that part to me,” Pinkie said. “Maybe they don't know that they like each other?” Sweetie Belle gasped. “So, if we can get them to talk and figure out that they do like each other...” “...They'll stop acting all grumpy with each other and start getting all cuddly, instead!” Pinkie finished, clapping her hooves excitedly. Sweetie pushed her stool out. “We gotta go find them!” Pinkie slid Sweetie back to the counter, shaking her head. “First thing's first,” she said, pushing the sundae toward her. “Nopony but nopony triggers a Code Blue and then just walks out of here without a tummy full of chocolate!” * Sweetie Belle swore never to trigger another Code Blue again as she wobbled out of Sugarcube Corner. That sundae had been as big as she was! “Okay,” she said, turning to Pinkie. “I'm going to Sweet Apple Acres. You get the other one, and we'll meet back here. Then we can get them to admit they like each other, and everything will be all better again.” Pinkie Pie saluted and bounded off, quickly disappearing into town. * “I still don't get what's so important ya gotta drag me out here,” Apple Bloom said, casually adjusting her bow. “Applejack was teachin' me how ta 'pegasus-proof' the windows of the farmhouse.” “This has got to do with that,” Sweetie Belle said as they drew nearer to Sugarcube Corner. “Maybe you won't need to pegasus-proof anything!” They slowed to a stop in front of the building. Pinkie rounded the corner. Following in her wake was a yawning Rainbow Dash. “All right, Pinkie,” Dash said. “This better be worth an interrupted nap.” Sweetie Belle gaped. “Pinkie, I thought you were getting Scootaloo!” Pinkie Pie threw her hooves in the air. “I thought you were getting Applejack!” Author's Note Work kept me from getting this one submitted in time to TMP. 18: Putting Up a Fight [Romance]((Prompt: Learning to fight.)) Fluttershy kept her head down low, and kept nodding. Her chest ached with every word Pinkie said to her. Her wings twitched with every syllable. She bit her lip, because she was afraid she might scream if she let her mouth open. “...It just isn't working,” Pinkie said. Fluttershy could tell the words hurt Pinkie to say as much as they hurt her to hear them. Her ears sagged, and she kept pausing to sniff back tears between sentences. “You're really, really nice, and you know how much I love you...” Fluttershy winced. She had heard those three words from Pinkie so many times, and each time had always been unique, but this one was the first time it had ever hurt to hear them. “I—I know,” she agreed. Pinkie smiled weakly at her. “...But we're just really, really different ponies. I thought...” She paused, and took a deep, unsteady breath. “I thought that didn't matter. I thought it was as simple as 'I love you, you love me, we can be happy together.' But we're not happy.” Fluttershy could swear she saw Pinkie's mane deflate as she admitted this. A lump formed in Fluttershy's throat. She swallowed. Pinkie was right, they weren't happy. Fluttershy wasn't happy when Pinkie dragged her to social events she didn't want to go to. Pinkie wasn't happy when she saw how little fun her marefriend was having at the very things that Pinkie had intended to make her feel better. Neither of them were happy when it came time to discuss what was going wrong. Pinkie sighed miserably. “I'm sorry for pushing you into this, Fluttershy. I was just so excited to have a special somepony, and that that special somepony was you.” She wiped a tear from her eye and giggled softly. “I'm still super excited. Even if it's about to...” Pinkie couldn't finish her sentence. Fluttershy put a hoof on Pinkie's back. “It's...” She stopped, licking her lips. Okay? No, it wasn't okay. This was her and Pinkie breaking up. That wasn't in even the broadest definition of okay. “It's not your fault,” she said. Pinkie gave her a small smile. “I think we were better off as friends,” she said, leaning into Fluttershy's hoof. “Let's go back to that.” Fluttershy chewed on her lip. This was the part where she nodded her head in agreement. Pinkie was right, they had fun as friends. It hurt when they tried to be close. It would be so nice to go back to that comfortable distance again. She closed her eyes and pictured a time when she and Pinkie could just sit down to tea together, no pressure, no heartache. “No.” Fluttershy opened her eyes, and was mildly surprised to find the word had come from her own mouth. Pinkie raised her eyes. “Fluttershy?” “No,” Fluttershy repeated. “You're wrong.” Pinkie stared in stunned silence. “Yes, it's hard,” Fluttershy continued. “Yes, it hurts. But Pinkie, it's okay if we aren't happy all of the time. It doesn't mean we aren't working.” “B-but I don't want to keep making you unhappy,” Pinkie stammered. Yellow wings wrapped around her as Fluttershy pulled her into an embrace. “I'm sorry,” she whispered, squeezing her tightly. “But you're going to have to learn how. Because alongside all of those times you make me unhappy, there's all of the times you make me so much more than happy, Pinkie. And I'm not giving up on those without a fight.” 19: Pink and Diamond [Slice of Life]((Prompt: )) Roseluck sighed, propping her head on her hoof. The marketplace was full of ponies, but none of them seemed to stray near her stall. She had sold a single bouquet all day, to a pair of tourists from Saddle Arabia that didn't speak a word of Equestrian. Rose was pretty certain they had mistaken her for a beggar because she had to force them to take the flowers they had purchased. Not for the first time today, Roseluck checked her hooves to see if she had stepped in something foul-smelling or something. Still no. Even if she had, the scent of her flowers should have served to mask it. She just didn't understand. Her sisters never had this much trouble selling their wares. What was she doing wrong? Her train of thought was interrupted as a white unicorn approached her flower stall. “Welcome!” Rose greeted and put on a bright smile. Her smile slowly drained away, however, as the unicorn looked her stall up and down with an expression of mild distaste. The unicorn's carefully curled mane shook as she turned her head toward the crowd. “Pinkie, darling.” Nopony from the crowd seemed to respond. The unicorn rolled her eyes. “Agent Pink,” she said. A pink earth pony emerged from the throngs of ponies. Anypony who had spent more than a few days in Ponyville knew Pinkie Pie when they saw her. Roseluck swallowed. Not only was she not selling any flowers, but now she was going to regret not springing for coverage of 'acts of Pinkie' on her insurance. This was shaping up to be one hay of a day. “Yes, Agent Diamond, ma'am!” Pinkie gave a crisp salute. Agent Diamond nodded her head toward Roseluck's stand. “What do you see, Agent Pink?” “I see Roseluck! Hi, Roseluck!” Pinkie waved her hoof enthusiastically. Rose returned a cautious wave. Pinkie's friend cleared her throat. “Agent Pink,” she said and glared meaningfully at her. Agent Pink nodded and adopted a detached expression of appraisal, looking up and down at Rose's stall. “I see four... no, five counts of drabness, and three missed opportunities for fabulosity,” she said in a neutral tone. Diamond stood impassively, waiting. Pinkie took another quick look at the stand. “Oh! And an ill-advised paint-job!” Rose's mouth snapped open. “Hey!” It had taken her ten minutes of hard work to paint her stand in that brown she had found! “Very good, Agent Pink,” the unicorn said. “This needs some considerable fixing.” Her horn glowed blue, and the roof of Rose's stall shifted. “First, some light.” “And a bit of color!” Pinkie produced a bucket of light blue paint and a brush and proceeded to re-paint the stand. Rose protested in vain as Agent Diamond lifted her stock of flowers in a magic aura. “The arrangement here is simply disgraceful.” The flowers rearranged into artful bundles and spreads. Roseluck had to admit, it looked a lot better than the simple heap she had been keeping them in. “It needs balloons!” Pinkie tied a colorful bunch of balloons to the freshly painted eaves. Diamond's eyes narrowed. “Agent Pink, balloons don't fix everything.” Pinkie stuck her tongue out playfully. “Says you!” Roseluck cleared her throat. “Um, excuse me?” Two pairs of eyes swiveled to face Rose. Rose shifted uncomfortably. “Are you two from the trade commission or something?” The pair shared a quick look. “No, ma'am, we're decorators.” “I'm a baker!” Pinkie exclaimed. Agent Diamond took one more glance at Roseluck's stall. “Well, everything seems to be in order here. Come along, Agent Pink, I think I spotted a clashing color over by the celery stall.” They disappeared into the crowd. Roseluck sold out of her stock a few hours later. Author's Note Another prompt I didn't get submitted for in time. 20: Petrified [Adventure] [Semi-Dark]((Prompt: Pinkie Pie isn't laughing.)) Applejack stuck her tongue out in concentration as she kept her eyes focused on the apple on her nose. It wobbled, and she moved her head to keep it balanced. A bead of sweat formed on her brow, but she didn't dare flick it away with a hoof for fear it would tip the fruit. The train car hit a small bump, and the apple wavered. Applejack tried to keep it centered, but it was too late. Almost in slow motion, it fell off of her nose and bounced on the floor. “Ha!” said Rainbow Dash, still balancing an apple on her own nose. “I win!” Applejack rolled her eyes and picked her apple off of the floor. She brushed the dust off of it and took a bite. “Yeah, yeah,” she said, nudging Rainbow in the shoulder. “Ya better find some ice fer that swollen head, sugarcube.” Rainbow Dash smirked, and caught her apple with a wing. “Maybe I'll do that. Want me to get some for your wounded pride while I'm at it?” An airy laugh came from the other side of the car. Rarity covered her mouth with a hoof as she chatted with Fluttershy. “You found him wearing what, darling?” Fluttershy sipped from a travel-mug of tea. “It isn't that funny, Rarity. He can wear a tutu if he likes.” Rarity nodded her head. “Of course, dear. It's just... the image of you walking into his den to find this ten foot tall bear dancing to the tune of the Sugar Plum Fairy...” Fluttershy hid a small giggle behind her hoof. “Okay, maybe it is a little funny,” she admitted. “Wait, you're talking about Harry?” Rainbow hovered over to join them. Fluttershy nodded, smiling. “He's taking ballet lessons from Soft Shoe. He's actually getting very good; I'm so proud of him.” Dash laughed. “Oh, you gotta tell Twi about it when we get to Canterlot!” “I reckon she'd get a kick out of it,” Applejack said. “Don't ya think, Pinkie?” There was no answer. “...Pinkie?” Four pairs of eyes turned to the corner of the car where Pinkie Pie sat. She stared wide-eyed at the table in front of her. She went very still when she inhaled, and shuddered as she exhaled. Her mouth gaped open. Rarity stood up and stepped closer, concern etching into her face. “Darling, are you all right?” Pinkie looked up with a start, as though she had only just noticed there were other ponies in the car. The beginnings of tears formed in her eyes. “Girls,” she said, her voice cracking, “I think something really, really bad—” A harsh screech filled the air as the train's emergency breaks were pulled. Plates crashed and shattered and ponies tumbled over one another as the train jerked to a stop. The mares picked themselves off of the floor and looked around. They appeared to have stopped just outside the gates of Canterlot. Rainbow Dash poked her head out the window and peered up the tracks. “What the...” Before anypony could stop her, she jumped the rest of the way out of the window. The others shared worried looks and opened the door to follow her. Other than the fact that Rainbow was already by it, it wasn't immediately apparent what was blocking the tracks up ahead, so they moved closer. As the shape of the obstruction became clearer, Rarity gasped. Fluttershy soon joined her with a horrified squeak. Applejack's pace slowed to a stumble as her mouth hung open. It looked like one of the many statues that always decorated Canterlot. The only indication that it wasn't a statue was the fact that it was planted in the middle of the tracks, and the fact that no sculptor could ever have made such a close likeness. “...Twi?” Twilight Sparkle stood in front of the city gates, baring her horn in an aggressive crouch. Her wings were fully flared. From horn to hoof, she was completely frozen in stone. Princess Celestia stepped quietly around her, a faraway look in her eyes. She addressed the five of them as they slowly gathered. “I... I am sorry,” she said, hanging her head. She was bombarded with questions. “What happened?” “Where's Spike?” “What was Twilight doing?” She did not raise her head to respond to any of them, save for one. Applejack stood up straight. “What can we do?” Celestia's eyes swept across the five ponies. She took a long time before finally speaking. “I need you to find the Cockatrice King...” 21: Blinkie's Friend [Slice of Life]((Prompt: How to fight loneliness.)) It was getting to Blinkie again. It never used to bother her, how dim and gray it always was on the rock farm. The way the clouds would always roll and rumple, and never let much sun through. Father said rocks needed shade to grow. Too much sun would ruin a crop. That was why the farm was situated underneath the storage field the pegasi used to keep their spare clouds. Blinkie never used to mind having a gray, cloudy sky above her, but these days it was different. These days she would look up at that oppressive blanket where there should have been blue skies and sun, and she would feel just like a vein of limestone between two layers of heavy granite. Ready to just crack under the weight of it all. She pushed open the farmhouse door and stepped out. Mother and Father didn't stop her to ask where she was going; they knew she would return for supper. Father raised an eyebrow at her, nothing more. Mother and Father didn't talk as much these days. Not since Pinkie and Inkie had left. They had never been much for conversation before, but anymore, Blinkie was lucky to ever get a word out of them that wasn't about which field the rocks should be in. Blinkie knew where she was going. The same place she always did when she started feeling this way. The place Pinkie had shown her before she had left. Over the hill beyond the farm, to a squat little hunk of quartz that served as a seat overlooking a narrow mountain valley. Pinkie had told her to come here if she ever needed a friend. Blinkie found herself sitting on that piece of quartz a lot these days. “Are you there?” she asked. There was no response. Blinkie shook her head. She was supposed to speak up loudly, or her friend wouldn't hear her. “Hello?” she called, more loudly this time. “Hello,” her friend answered back. Her voice was distant, ringing from the other end of the valley. Blinkie raised her voice again. “I needed to talk again.” “Needed to talk again?” her friend repeated. Blinkie nodded. “I guess lately, I've come here often, huh?” “...Come here often?” Blinkie snorted, and then burst into laughter. Her friend always knew just how to bring her spirits back up, using a cheesy pickup line like that on her. Blinkie's friend soon joined in her laughter, and the valley was filled with giggles. She flicked a tear out of her eye. “Thanks. I needed that.” “Needed that,” her friend agreed. Blinkie rocked back and forth on her stony perch. “You know, you remind me of somepony.” “Remind me of somepony.” “My sister Pinkie always knew just what to say, just like you.” Blinkie smiled. “Just like you,” her friend shot back. Blinkie blushed modestly. “No, I'm not like her. I can't make ponies smile.” “Make ponies smile,” her friend insisted. “Okay,” Blinkie said, “I'll try.” “Try.” Blinkie stood up, using her tail to brush the dust off the back of her knees. “Well, I should go. I just want to thank you, because you're always there.” “Always there.” Blinkie turned and started back toward home, but she stopped and called out one last thing. “Oh, if you ever happen to run into Pinkie, make sure to tell her that I miss her and I love her.” * Pinkie Pie froze in her hiding place behind a hill at the end of the valley. Her eyes widened, and her hooves trembled. Her mouth went dry. Pinkie's heart raced, and she entertained the notion of simply staying silent. She stole a glance at the quartz sitting stone and saw her sister still standing there, waiting for a response. Pinkie licked her lips, and cupped her hoof to project her voice across the valley. “Love you.” Author's Note So apparently, Blinkie has a canon name now. I dunno, "Limestone's Friend" doesn't roll off the tongue quite as easy. *sigh* I guess canon marches on. 22: My Little Princess [Slice of Life]((Prompt: A princess and a mother.)) “Oh no, you don't!” Sugar Plum giggled as she crawled away. The little unicorn foal was surprisingly quick for her size, and covered quite a bit of distance. But she wasn't quite as quick as the pink hooves of her mother. Pinkie Pie scooped Sugar Plum off the floor. “You can try and run, but it's bath time for this little princess!” The little purple filly made a cooing noise, and her horn glowed. “Ah ah,” Pinkie said. “That trick won't work!” She took a deep breath and blew raspberries on Sugar Plum's tummy. Sugar Plum squealed, and the the magic in her horn dispersed. “I call that one the hammer! You can thank your auntie Pumpkin for that,” Pinkie said, rubbing her on the nose. Sugar Plum giggled and squirmed the whole way to the tub. Pinkie Pie kept her steadily in her hooves with a practiced ease. Warm water filled the little white tub. Pinkie tested the temperature. “Perfect,” she said, and slid Sugar Plum into the water. Sugar Plum babbled incoherently and splashed her hooves in the water. It did not take long for there to be more water on the floor than in the tub. Pinkie put her hooves on her hips. “Where is your mother?” she asked with a false sternness. She grabbed a sponge and a bar of soap and set to washing the filly. The bath lasted only a few minutes, partially because there was scarcely any water left to wash with. Pinkie lifted Sugar Plum out of the tub and used a towel to dry her off. Cleaning up the bathroom would have to come later, after the filly was put down for a nap. Pinkie set her daughter on her withers and took a bouncing gait as she carried her to the bedroom. “Choo-choo!” she called, “Thank you for riding the Mommy Express! Next stop, sleepy-land!” Sugar Plum giggled and shook her head. “No?” Pinkie asked, tilting her head. She took the filly off of her back and laid her face-up on the floor before the crib. “Well, would you rather go to... tickle-land??” Sugar Plum squeaked as Pinkie poked her in the sides with her hooves. “That's the only other place the Mommy Express goes this afternoon,” said Pinkie, nuzzling her daughter. “Sleepy-land, or tickle-land. Which is it gonna be? Huh?” Sugar Plum reached her hooves out at the crib. “Guh!” she cried. “That's what I thought,” Pinkie said, picking her up and dropping her into the crib. Sugar Plum nestled under the covers. She looked up at Pinkie with clear blue eyes that matched her own, and yawned. Pinkie Pie nuzzled her nose against Sugar Plum's, and flicked the light switch off. “Good night, my little princess.” As she was in the midst of drying the puddles in the bathroom, she spotted a familiar flash outside and heard the front door open. Pinkie Pie smiled and set her towel aside. She pushed the bathroom door open and made her way down the stairs. “And there's my big princess,” she said, giving Twilight a peck on the cheek. “How was saving the world?” Twilight wrapped a wing around Pinkie, kissing her on the forehead. “One tax form at a time, as always,” she said, giving her a tired smile. “How's our daughter?” “Down for a nap,” Pinkie said, grinning. “But you can help me clean up after bathtime!” Author's Note There is a subtle yet frankly appalling little reference to one of my stories in this. Bonus internet points if you can spot it! 23: The Days Are Just Packed [Slice of Life]((Prompt: Somepony is on a very tight schedule.)) 7:30 A.M: Get up. 8:00 A.M: Actually get up. Perform morning exercises—stretch all face muscles. Test new joke on twins. 9:00 A.M: Breakfast. Cherry cream danish. Remind self that Cake twins aren't old enough to really get Star Mares references. 9:30 A.M: Baking. Two dozen banana nut muffins, one dozen double chocolate, six specialty cinnamon rolls, a seventh specialty cinnamon roll to compensate for sampling, and one cake base. 11:00 A.M: One more specialty cinnamon roll. Can't be too careful about quality control. 12:00 P.M: Lunch break. Not hungry, too full of cinnamon rolls. Complain about tummy. 12:30 P.M: Watch store for Cakes while they go out to get more cinnamon from the market. Play peek-a-pony with twins between orders. 2:00 P.M: Pinkie Patrol. Let Cakes manage store, go out to enforce Ponyville frown-free zone. 2:15 P.M: Find colt in violation of frown-free zone. Fine of tickles and one big Pinkie hug to be rendered immediately. 3:00 P.M: Frolic. 4:00 P.M: Drop by library. Sing a song about books, made up on the spot. 4:01 P.M: Get kicked out of library. Head for Sweet Apple Acres. Help Applejack bake apple pie. 4:30 P.M: Informed Applejack was making apple salad, not pie. Proceed to make pie, anyway. 5:45 P.M: Dinner with Apple family. Apple pie salad. Very delicious. 6:00 P.M: More frolicking. 7:00 P.M: Return to Sugarcube Corner. Watch foals while Cakes clean up the bakery. 7:30 P.M: Dessert. Swear off specialty cinnamon rolls for life. 9:00 P.M: Help put twins down for bed. Spend some time in room fine-tuning party cannon. 10:00 P.M: Wash up, brush teeth, go to bed. Tomorrow's another big day. … 12:00 A.M: One more bite of specialty cinnamon roll. Author's Note Another prompt that I couldn't submit because of work. I believe this is the shortest one of these I've written. 24: Free Ice Cream [Not-Quite-So-Sad]((Prompt: A natural disaster strikes Ponyville, and there’s nothing anypony can do to stop it.)) The sun was extra hot, which made Pinkie Pie especially glad for the coldness that seeped through the load on her back, even if it was a bit heavy. That was the trick, really, was focusing on the positive. Sure, it was a hot summer day and she was carrying a lot, but she got to stay cool regardless. That brought a smile to her face as she carefully picked her way around a piece of fallen rubble in the street. The mayor and a few ponies—Applejack among them—were busy clearing out a collapsed section of the town hall. A cloud of dust rose into the air as they all banded together to pull out a heavy wooden beam. Pinkie grinned and trotted up to them. “You all look like you could use some ice cream!” She pulled a tub off of the mountain of similar tubs on her back and flipped the lid open. Applejack wiped some sweat from her brow and raised her eyes. “Gee, that's awful kind of ya, Pinkie, but that sure is a lot of the stuff!” Pinkie distributed spoons to the ponies gathering around her. Taking a quick count, she decided to open up a second tub for the group. “The earthquake broke the freezer at Sugarcube Corner, so unless all this ice cream gets eaten, it's gonna turn into soup!” “Aha.” Applejack ate a spoonful of chocolate swirl, and made an appreciative noise. She glanced around at all the toppled buildings. “Some way to get free ice cream. Are the Cakes okay? I ain't made it over to that end of town yet.” Pinkie Pie nodded. “Mr. and Mrs. Cake got the twins to safety as soon as the ground started rumbling. Everypony's a-okay!” “I'm glad to hear it.” Applejack stretched her rear legs. “Weren't much damage out at the farm, as far as I could tell. A bit of shakin' don't harm trees none. But Apple Bloom was over at Sweetie's when it hit, an' she got a few scrapes. Nothin' major, thank Celestia, but I reckon some ice cream'd help her forget all about her boo-boos.” “I bet you're right!” Pinkie said, shifting under the newly balanced load of ice cream. “Is she still at Sweetie's?” Applejack shook her head. “I think she went with Sweetie Belle to go check on Rarity. Give 'em all hugs for me.” She turned back to work on the rubble in the town hall. Pinkie trotted across town. She caught sight of Fluttershy coordinating a team of badgers to burrow under a collapsed home and look for ponies trapped inside. Pinkie made sure the badgers got a whole tub to themselves, and the filly they rescued got an overstuffed ice cream cone and a balloon Pinkie happened to have on her. Spike spoonfed Twilight's ice cream to her while she concentrated on using her magic to lift a house and set it back on its foundations, and Rainbow Dash got three or four tubs to distribute to the weather team as they helped around town. Pinkie's load was much lighter by the time she reached Carousel Boutique. Or rather, the heap of drywall, glass and timber where Carousel Boutique used to be. Rarity stood at the edge of the mess, her front hooves planted on her welcome mat. Her white coat was marred by dirty smudges and scrapes, and her mane was limp and tattered beyond recognition. Her face was blank, her eyes unfocused. If not for the subtle rise and fall of her chest, Pinkie might have thought she was a very well-detailed statue, rather than Rarity herself. Pinkie approached quietly, and put a hoof on her back. Rarity flinched at the contact, only relaxing after she turned to see her friend there. Her eyes drifted back to the rubble. “It's... gone,” she said. “All of it. Just, gone...” Pinkie wrapped a foreleg around Rarity and squeezed her tight. “...Would you like some ice cream?” 25: Loud [Comedy]((Prompt: The minotaurs are coming.)) “...So, the moment I walk into the room, they all go silent.” Rarity stood in the doorway of Sugarcube Corner, half of a croissant held aloft in her magic as she shared the latest gossip with Pinkie Pie. For her part, Pinkie Pie listened as best she could while still darting around the shop keeping the tables clean and everypony's water glasses full. “Are you sure you don't want to sit down, Rarity?” she asked, balancing a tray of danishes bound for the corner booth. “Thank you, darling, but I don't have the time,” Rarity replied, taking another small bite of her croissant. She had been standing at the doorway without the time to sit down for the past half hour. “Now where was I? Ah yes, I walked into the room, and they all went silent. Jet Set coughed into his hoof. So I looked right at him, and I said...” Ear-flop, eye-flutter, knee-twitch. Without warning, Pinkie pulled Rarity out of the way just as the door slammed open with enough force to make the hinges groan. In stepped a massive blue figure. He towered over the ponies inside the bakery, his horns nearly scraping the ceiling above him. Pinkie Pie did not want to subscribe to the old misinformed saying that all minotaurs looked alike, but really the only way she could think to describe this creature was like that Iron Will character Fluttershy had dealt with once, but with a few gray streaks in his mane and a squarish pair of glasses resting on his muzzle. The middle-aged businessman version of Iron Will raised his thick arm in an emphatic pose and jammed a thumb at his wide chest. “Hello!” he shouted in an intense tone of voice that did nothing to disprove the theory that he was Iron Will aged a few decades. “I am Will Power, and this is my lovely wife, Willow!” He gestured behind himself to another minotaur that could best be described as Iron Will with a pearl necklace and flower-shaped earrings. “Hello!” She waved and spoke in the exact same voice. Will Power pointed at the counter. “We are in town to see our son's assertiveness seminar, and have decided to grab some grub before we go! What is good here?” Pinkie rubbed her ear, trying to get the ringing to stop as she gave the minotaurs a bright smile. “Well, today we have some fresh blueberry scones that are really—” “WE ARE HERE TO ATTEND IRON WILL'S SEMINAR, AS WELL!” A few tables flipped to the ground as the Canterlot Royal Voice rang out from the other end of Sugarcube Corner. Princess Luna stood up, waving a muffin. “HIS CAN-DO ATTITUDE IS OF GREAT ASSISTANCE TO OUR INTEGRATION INTO MODERN CULTURE!” Rarity let out a squeal. “Princess Luna! How did I not know you were here until now??” “BECAUSE WE ARE NOT ASSERTIVE ENOUGH!” Luna stamped a hoof on the tile floor. “ALSO, BECAUSE WE HAVE BEEN WEARING THIS HAT IN ORDER TO REMAIN INCOGNITO!” She held up a wide-brimmed sun-hat and a pair of sunglasses. “Oh, Princess, that is such a darling ensemble!” Pinkie Pie glanced nervously up the stairs. “Uh, everypony? And everyminotaur? Maybe we should turn it down just a little. Mrs. Cake is upstairs with the twins, and—” “So, you have attended some of Iron Will's sessions before!” Will Power grinned broadly. “What do you think of his methods?” “HE IS MOST INSPIRING! I ADMIRE HIS SUBTLE WORD-PLAY! 'IF SOMEONE TRIES TO BLOCK SHOW THEM—” From the second floor, a door could be heard slamming. Down the stairs stormed Mrs. Cake, dark circles under her eyes and a ferocious scowl on her face. She glared dangerously at the noisy patrons, her voice coming in a low, angry growl. “The foals have been up all night, and I just got them to sleep! If any of you wake them up, so help me there will be Tartarus to pay! Is that understood?” Will Power slowly raised his hand. Mrs. Cake's eyes narrowed on him. “Yes?” He cleared his throat. “Can I have a blueberry scone, please?” Upstairs, a pair of small voices started crying. Mrs. Cake's eye twitched. Precisely how a middle-aged earth pony mare was able to drag two minotaurs, a princess, and a fashionista out of the door by their ears simultaneously was a question that would haunt scholars for decades. Before the front door of the bakery slammed on the noisome heap, a single blueberry scone was thrown, impaling itself on a sharp, curved horn. 26: Can't Quite Remember the Details [Sad]((Prompt: One of the Mane 6 writes or tells a story about another of the Mane 6.)) Well hey there! Thanks for dropping by; I haven't seen you in... well, I guess it's been a while! Gosh, you're sure getting tall. You must be eating your sprouts like a good filly! That's good, you don't wanna end up short and round like your ol' Auntie Pinkie! Hey, c'mere and sit down for a minute. I've got a story to tell you. It's about one of my bestest friends in the whole wide world! It goes like this. Once upon a time, there was a farm filly. She worked hard every day on her farm, and she had a great big family that helped her and supported her through everything. She was a super-dependable pony, always there to lend a hoof to her friends, always ready to give them some encouraging advice. Oh, and she had a hat, too. It was a really neat hat! Anyways, one day, when she was working on her farm, she looked up in the sky and saw a beautiful rainbow! Just looking at all those colors made her so happy, she just had to share it with somepony, so she gathered her family into the barn, where she had put together a party just for them, and... Wait, no. That's not how the story goes. Let me start over. She wasn't a farm filly, that's silly! He-he! She was a shy pegasus, that's right. She was a really nice pegasus, and all the animals liked her. She was usually pretty quiet, but that was okay, because she was brave and stood up for her friends when it really mattered. The shy pegasus was nervous around other ponies, though. She wasn't sure if they liked her or not, so she stayed out of their way most of the time. But one day, she thought that her friends didn't like her at all anymore, and it made her really sad! But it turned out that the whole time they were sneaking around and avoiding her, it was actually to put together a surprise birthday party for her, because she totally forgot it was her birthday! No... no, that's not how it goes, either. Give me a minute, I know this one. Okay. She was a pegasus, all right, but she wasn't shy at all! She was the most amazingest flier in all of Equestria, and she knew it! She was so confident, and awesome, and radical, and super-duper cool! She was going to join the Wonderbolts some day, just as soon as they realized how completely amazing she was. Then one day, her friend introduced her to a griffon, saying she was an old friend she used to have. But the griffon was kinda a jerk. So, being a super wonderful pegasus like she was, she put together a party to— Rrgh, that one was close, I know it! Just not quite right. Let's try this again. Once there was a unicorn. She was really pretty, and she dressed in fancy clothes all the time. All she ever wanted was to make ponies around her happy, so she gave them gifts like dresses and jewelry and party hats and cupcakes, and threw them birthday parties... No, no, no, no! Come on, Pinkie! You have to remember! One last try. I'll get it right this time, I promise! Unicorn. Super smart. Like, really, really smart. Studied under the Princess. Yes, that's right! She was the Princess's student, and she came to Ponyville, and we went on adventures together, and we saved the world. Like, at least three times! And then she cast a spell that mixed up all our cutie marks, and she grew wings, and became a Princess herself! And from then on everypony called her the Princess of Parties, and she bounced everywhere she went, laughing and baking cakes and everypony was happy... NO! No, hey wait, don't go away! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you! Come back, I'll... I'll stop, if you want. It's just... I know I've got it rattling around somewhere in my noggin, it just won't come out right. Sometimes it just gets me so frustrated... Oh, you—you're out of time? Okay, well, tell everypony I said hi. And come back soon, okay? It gets lonely here. Author's Note Alternate, happier ending: No, wait, I remember how it goes now! Once upon a time, there was a sweet little filly who went and visited her auntie even though everypony said she was crazy and they were probably right. But she visited anyway, and her auntie loves her very, very much! The end. 27: We Do [Romance]((I think I wanna marry you.)) Pinkie Pie had a problem. Her face was way too small. Some might look at her and argue that her face was a very normal size for an average pony, which was true. But when Pinkie Pie spoke of a 'smile as wide as a mile,' she was not using hyperbole in any sense. She had at least a mile's worth of smile in her at any given time, and only one normal-sized face to try and fit it onto. Her face was far too small. So she borrowed space on other ponies' faces. She would tell ponies jokes, and give them treats, and they would hold her smile for her, and sometimes that was almost enough to get it all out. Almost. But today, it wasn't even close. There weren't enough faces in all of Equestria to hold Pinkie's smile today. She quivered, her hooves vibrating on the floor beneath her as she tried, without much success, to contain herself for the sake of those standing close to her. “Beloved ponies.” Celestia's voice rang soft and clear through the vaulted gathering hall. All eyes had already been focused on the ponies at the front of the room with the Princess, but now that she had spoken up, silence passed over the crowd. You could hear a pin drop. Or rather, you could hear Pinkie's hooves clattering against the tiles as she fought to hold still. A gentle hoof touched Pinkie's shoulder. She glanced to the side to see Rarity giving her a warm smile. Pinkie returned with an excited grin as she let her hooves relax. Celestia beamed as she continued. “We are gathered here today to witness something truly remarkable. Unusual, yes, but then, unusual seems to follow these six around like their own shadows.” Pinkie let out a quiet snort, and she heard the others join in with hushed giggles. “Nevertheless,” Celestia said, shaking her head, “it is something truly wonderful we are here for today. The joining of six souls into one harmonious whole.” She spread her wings out as she said this, and Pinkie Pie could feel her cheeks aching as her smile threatened to push them clean off her face. Celestia turned to Twilight, who looked to be wrestling with nearly as big a smile as Pinkie was. “Twilight Sparkle,” the Sun Princess said. “Once my student, forever my friend. Twilight, do you take these mares before you, to bind them to yourself, and you to them? Do you swear to guide them, to teach them and learn from them, to always illuminate your path with the magic of their companionship, for all of your life?” Twilight nodded her head. “I do.” Pinkie could feel her smile grow wider. Celestia smiled and turned. “Applejack,” she said. The farm pony had a veil sewn onto the brim of her hat, through which she grinned broadly at the princess. “Noble Applejack, do you take these mares before you, to bind them to yourself, and you to them? Do you promise to be their constant, their unyielding rock to lean on in times of need? Do you swear to let your wisdom and strength of character shine on them, for all of your life?” “Nothin' would please me more, Princess.” Applejack tipped her head forward. Pinkie's smile grew wider still. “Rainbow Dash,” Celestia said, turning again. “Faithful, brave Rainbow, do you take these mares before you, to bind them to yourself, and you to them? Do you swear to be forever loyal to them, to protect them in body and mind and soul, for all of your life?” Rainbow Dash's grin made Pinkie's heart skip. “I do, Princess.” “Fluttershy.” The yellow pegasus looked up at the Princess steadily. There was no trace of fear or nervousness in her turquoise eyes. “Gentle Fluttershy, do you take these mares before you, to bind them to yourself, and you to them? Do you swear to care for them, to love them always and to be loved by them in turn? Do you promise to be a beacon of warmth and kindness for them, for all of your life?” “I do.” Pinkie could not imagine her smile growing any wider than it already was, but somehow it did. Celestia nodded and turned once more. “Rarity...” “I do!” Rarity covered her mouth with a hoof, her cheeks flushing bright red. She coughed into her hoof. “I—I'm sorry, please, go on.” Celestia covered up a soft giggle. “Rarity, do you take these mares before you, to bind them to yourself, and you to them? Do you swear to give freely of yourself to them, without hesitation nor condition? Do you promise to sacrifice yourself for their happiness, knowing that they will do the same for you, for all of your life?” “Yes, your highness, I do.” Pinkie Pie's smile hurt. It was too much to contain. “Pinkamena Pie,” Celestia said, at last facing her. “Sweet Pinkie, do you take these mares before you, to bind them to yourself, and you to them? Do you swear to always share you happiness with them, to give them your smiles and your laughter? Do you promise to lift their spirits in their darkest times, and keep them up in their times of triumph? Do you swear that your happiness and their happiness will be one in the same, for all of your life?” Pinkie Pie's smile was more than she could bear. She took it, like it was a physical thing that could be molded and manipulated. She mushed it up and re-formed it until instead of a smile, it was two tiny words. Two little words that meant the world to Pinkie, words that she had been waiting all day—no, much longer than that—to say. Two little words that were the only possible container to keep her smile in. “I do.” Author's Note Omniship! <3 But Celestia, does it ever give me whiplash to put this chapter right after the depressing one about Pinkie going senile and forgetting her friends. Snap my little neck like a twig, it does. 28: Throwing Pies [Sad]((Prompt: All things truly wicked start from an innocence.)) Pinkie felt the side of the dish, checking its temperature. It was just right, cool enough to be refreshing without freezing any of the flavor out of it. She tapped it with her hoof to check if she had gotten the consistency right. It was; the creamy filling gave enough to wobble slightly with the motion, but it would hold its shape when cut into slices. With a glance behind her, she stole a tiny dab of it to make certain it tasted all right. It tasted perfect. The cream and sugar were incredibly sweet, but they still would not mask the wonderful flavors of the bananas and the crust. Pinkie Pie grinned, proud of her work as she pulled her banana cream pie out of the refrigerator. “Thank you for giving me this chance, Mr. and Mrs Cake,” she said around her grip on the edge of the pie tin. “I promise you won't regret hiring me!” Her new employers, two of the nicest ponies Pinkie had met since arriving at Ponyville, smiled at her. “Of course, dearie,” Mrs. Cake said. “Now, let's have a taste, so we know what we'll have to teach you, okay?” Pinkie Pie nodded enthusiastically. One should never nod enthusiastically while carrying a pie tin in one's mouth. The banana cream pie sailed through the air, twisting around as it traced an arc across the kitchen. Pinkie would have been proud of the pie's capacity to hold together as it made its way along its trajectory, except for the fact that it landed on Mrs. Cake's face with an audible 'splat.' Pinkie's eyes widened. “Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry! Please, forgive me! I didn't mean to, it was an accident! Oh no!” Mr. and Mrs. Cake were silent. Mrs. Cake blinked, cream dripping from her face. She stuck her tongue out to gather a chunk of pie in her mouth, which she chewed thoughtfully for a minute. “Hmm,” she said, nodding. “Not bad. I think I'll have to show you a trick for making crispier crusts, but this is good work!” Mr. Cake broke out in a loud guffaw. His wife soon joined him, and, uncertainly, Pinkie found herself laughing along as well. From then on, Pinkie Pie was a fixture at Sugarcube Corner. * “Here's yer apples, Mr. an' Mrs. Cake!” Applejack pulled a heavy wooden barrel off the back of her cart and carried it in the rear entrance to the kitchen. “Applejack!” cheered Pinkie, bouncing around a counter laden with mixing bowls and bags of sugar. Applejack set the barrel in its place and looked up. “Well, howdy, Pinkie Pie! How's a baker's life treatin' ya?” Pinkie hid her front hooves behind her back and grinned broadly. “It's great! There's cupcakes, and scones, and pies and cakes, and guess what, I've got a treat for you!” “A treat? Fer me?” The farm filly pushed her hat back. “Shucks, Pinkie, that's awful nice of ya! What is it?” “A face full of pie!” Pinkie's hooves shot forward, driving an apple pie into Applejack's muzzle. Chunks of crust and gooey gobs of filling flew everywhere. Applejack stood in place, startled for a moment before a hearty chuckle built in her throat. “Heh, that sure is a tasty treat!” she said, licking a piece of apple off her nose. Pinkie giggled. “Is it?” “Ayep,” Applejack said, scraping a gob of pie off her cheek. “Here, try some!” She flung the goopy mess back at Pinkie, who squealed gleefully and led a raucous chase around the kitchen. It was the first of many pie-fights the two would have. * Pinkie Pie hid around the corner between two houses. A tasty cherry pie sat at the ready in her hooves. She heard hooves approach, and her grin grew wider. This was going to be great. Nopony ever expected to get a pie in the face while just walking around Ponyville. Pinkie was going to make somepony's day! She covered her mouth with a hoof, careful not to make any noise as she waited for whoever it was that was getting closer. She could just picture their grin now, cherry filling dripping off of grinning cheeks. Pinkie couldn't wait. Yellow hooves finally stepped around the corner. Pinkie tossed the pie forward. “Surprise!” she shouted Pinkie Pie stood grinning, waiting to hear the sound of somepony laughing or saying, 'Oh, you got me!' She heard no such noise. Instead, all she heard was a high-pitched, wavering squeal. Pinkie looked down at the pony she had pied. Fluttershy was on her haunches, tears mixing with the red filling on her face as she quivered. She was not laughing. Not even a little chuckle. “Fluttershy?” Pinkie said, her grin slipping a little. “What's wrong?” With a flurry of yellow feathers and cherry filling, Fluttershy turned and fled down the street, sobbing. Pinkie Pie never played a prank on her again. 29: Zonk! [Crossover] [Comedy]((Prompt: Pinkie and the Brain.)) A lanky white lab rat with a goofy expression on his face yawned as the last researcher flicked the lights off on his way out of the lab. “So, Brain,” the rat said, “What are we gonna do tonight?” His companion, a shorter rat with an oversized head and a constant scowl, picked the lock to their cage and pushed the door open. “The same thing we do every night, Pinky,” he said, stepping out onto the counter. “Try to take over the world.” Pinky clapped his paws together happily. “Oh, joy! ...Zonk! How are we going to take over Earth tonight?” Brain smirked and shook his head. “No, Pinky, tonight we reach for a much riper fruit than Earth.” He hopped across the lab and climbed up to a keyboard console for one of the lab's computers. He tapped a few things into the keys, and a bright green and blue planet appeared on the screen. “Behold, Pinky,” he said, waving his paw grandly at the screen. “Equestria. It's a land filled with powerful magic and untold secrets...” Brain licked his lips, turning toward the computer. “...And it is in the perfect position for a sudden takeover.” Pinky scratched his head. “I dunno, Brain, it looks awful small for all that. Look, I can cover it up with both my arms!” He stretched his arms across the computer screen. Brain smacked himself in the forehead. “That's because it's just an image on a screen, you nincompoop!” He typed a few more words into the keyboard, and the planet was replaced with pictures of two colorful ponies. “We will be using a device to swap minds with two of the planet's inhabitants. I will be taking the role of a powerful young member of the nobility, one 'Twilight Sparkle,' who has just assumed a position of incredible political standing.” He pointed to a purple alicorn wearing a shining crown. “With her social rank and my intellect, I will be crowned unquestioned ruler of Equestria within the week!” Stars sparkled in Pinky's eyes. “Zounds! We get to be pretty ponies??” “I realize it's not the most dignified means,” Brain said, clasping his hands, “but a path to power such as this cannot be ignored.” “Which one do I get to be? Which one do I get to be?” Brain pointed to a pink pony with a goofy smile on her face. “By fortunate coincidence, Twilight Sparkle has a friend whose usual personality should keep others from asking too many questions about your... quirks. Also, you share a name, so it should be a role even you can fill.” Pinky squeaked in delight. “She looks just like bubblegum! ...Narf!” “Indeed.” Brain hit a button, and tiny restraints sprang up from the floor of the lab, grabbing the two rats by the arms and legs. “Now hold still, Pinky. The restraints are necessary so that the ponies we swap places with don't do too much damage while they are in our bodies here.” Pinky nodded. Brain reached with his toe and pressed a large red button. A blinding light filled the room. * Brain groaned as he awoke. “Hmm,” he murmured, rubbing his head, “the transductor relay needs some more tuning.” He opened his eyes, and allowed himself a grin as he saw not the dirty linoleum of the lab but the brightly polished stone tiles of a palace. “It worked!” he cheered. “Zounds, Brain! You didn't tell me I'd get wings, too!” The voice was different, but there was no mistaking the inane chatter of his intellectually stunted partner. He turned toward the voice, and his heart sank. In front of him, Twilight Sparkle giggled with glee and did loops in the air. “I'm a pretty pony prin—cess!” Brain looked down, and saw that he had pink hooves, not golden-shod purple ones. “No! The array must have gotten mixed up!” Pinky/Twilight landed upside down on the tiles, smiling widely. “Oh wow, Brain! You're really, really pink!” “I noticed, Pinky.” He stared at the ground thoughtfully. “This can still work. I can take a position as your 'adviser.' All you need to do is exactly what I say, and Equestria will be ours!” “Hey, look what I can do!” The alicorn's horn glowed bright pink, and a grand piano materialized in the air over Brain/Pinkie Pie's head. “Pinky, no!” The piano fell with a tremendous crash. “Zonk! Oops! Let me get that off of you, Brain!” The horn flashed, and the piano disappeared... and reappeared ten feet above Brain's head again. Brain crawled with unsteady pink hooves from the wreckage. “Please stop that,” he said. A group of ponies entered the room. “Pinkie!” Both rats-turned-ponies turned their heads at the same time. “Yes?” An orange pony with a hat grabbed Brain/Pinkie Pie by the tail. “Come on, Pinkie, Twi's got important Princessin' things to do, an' we got a train to Ponyville ta catch!” Brain dragged his hooves on the tiles, but could find no purchase. “No! He—I mean, the princess needs my advice! You don't know what you're getting into, putting that lunatic in charge!” The orange pony chuckled. “No offense, Pinkie, but I don't reckon Twi needs yer advice on how to turn the palace into the world's largest cupcake right now. We can come back again later, but we can't be keepin' Twi from her job.” She waved at Pinky/Twilight. “Good seein' ya, Twilight!” Pinky/Twilight waved back. “Zonk!” A pair of pegasus guards escorted him the other direction. “You know what this place could use?” he said, walking with them. “A giant, enormous cupcake!” Author's Note My first ever crossover! 30: I've Got Everything [Romance]((Prompt: I've got nothing.)) Pinkie stood in the doorway of what had been, until today, her room. It was amazing how little it had changed between last night when it had been hers and today when it was not. The bed—no longer her bed, just 'the' bed—was still there, as were the pillows and all the blankets. The nightstand, the alarm clock, the closet and most all of the clothes within, all these things that had been a part of Pinkie's daily life were not really hers, just borrowed with the room. Her leaving made the room a little cleaner, and that was all. She pushed the door shut. Having so little to carry out of the room was a good thing, she decided. It meant there was less she needed to sell at a rummage sale. She trotted down the stairs, humming a quiet tune as she went. Mr. and Mrs. Cake stood at the base of the stairs waiting for her. They each had one of their foals riding on their backs. Mrs. Cake offered Pinkie a hug, which she did not hesitate to accept. Mr. Cake did not wait his turn, instead wrapping his hoof around the both of them and turning it into a family-wide group hug. “We're gonna miss you, Pinkie,” he said. Mrs. Cake did her best to disguise a sniffle as a sound of agreement. “If you ever need it, we'll always have room for you, dearie.” Pinkie smiled warmly as she squeezed the two ponies that had been more like a mother and father to her than a pair of employers. “Thanks, Mrs. Cake, but I won't need it.” She brought her nose up to nuzzle Pound and Pumpkin. “You two make sure to only get in the best kinds of trouble, okay?” The twins giggled and cupped her face with their hooves. Pinkie gave a happy sigh as she pulled away from the Cakes and stepped toward the door. “Goodbye! And thanks. Thank you for everything.” She didn't like seeing tears, so she turned around and forged on into Ponyville before any had a chance to form—on the Cakes' cheeks, or on her own. As she trotted across town, Pinkie Pie had nothing to her name but the song in her heart and the sunlight on her back. She had left Gummy in the capable hooves of Fluttershy. Her party cannon she had donated to the Cutie Mark Crusaders; she could see no possible harm in giving those fillies access to low-yield artillery. Her savings... well, there weren't any, to speak of. Every bit she had ever made was spent on balloons or confetti or some other party-related expense before it had a chance to stop spinning. Pinkie was as penniless as she was pink. This did not stop her from smiling brightly and humming her song as she bounded along the winding roads. In fact, she seemed to put just an extra bit of cheer into each of her enthusiastic greetings given to ponies she passed on the streets. Her voice bubbled with an extra little touch of giggliness, and her grin seemed even more infectious than usual. She was Equestria's happiest beggar as she made her way across town to the dirt path that led to Sweet Apple Acres. Applejack waited for her at gate of her fence. Usually, she would wait in the farmhouse—no, that was a lie, usually Pinkie would have to come find her while she worked on her chores. But today was special, and Applejack couldn't bear to wait any longer than she had to today, so she waited at the gate. As she spotted pink marching up the country road, she smiled as wide as, well, as wide as Pinkie did. She cantered forward to meet her halfway, and chuckled as she noted the absence of any saddlebags. “Ya sure do pack light, sugarcube!” Pinkie wrapped a hoof around Applejack's neck and pecked her on the cheek. “I've got everything I could possibly need right here,” she said. “If I brought anything else with me, I wouldn't have a place to put it!” Applejack laughed and gave her a fond nuzzle. “Well, lemme help ya carry all that inside. Welcome home, hon.” Author's Note Of course, I had to end this one with Apple Pie. I mean, how could I not? That does it for my thirty days of Pinkie. I had a blast writing for her, and she's definitely growing on me as a character. Stay tuned for Fluttershy, whose first two prompts will be posted once I get a cover image for her. Thanks for reading! 8: Cover Charge [Romance] [Comedy]((Prompt: Lyrics to the song “I'll Cover You,” from Rent.)) Applejack double-checked to make certain she hadn't forgotten anything. Her saddlebag contained a blanket and a spare set of hair-ties. She had already seen Apple Bloom off to Sweetie Belle's place for the night, with instructions to meet her at Sugarcube Corner for breakfast the next morning. Big Mac and Granny Smith were staying with their neighbors the Carrots, where Granny would no doubt relive all the old family rivalries with the matron of the household right up to both their bedtimes at eight thirty. Applejack hoped there would be no biting this time. She blew a strand of hair from her face. If she was forgetting anything, she wasn't remembering it just yet. She raised her hoof to knock on the door. Her hoof connected with nothing as the door of Sugarcube Corner swung open. Pinkie Pie's grin somehow filled the entire doorway. “Applejack!” she greeted. “Welcome to your 'The Farmhouse is Getting Fumigated So You're Homeless For a Night' party!” Applejack smiled and bowed her head. “I sure do appreciate ya puttin' me up for the night, sugarcube.” She stepped forward, expecting her friend to let her pass. Pinkie remained in place. “Ah-ah-ah,” she said, waving her hoof. “I can't let you in without paying the cover charge! I gotta keep these parties going somehow!” “Cover charge?” Applejack blinked in confusion. She nosed open her saddlebags. “Shoot, I'm sorry, Pinkie, I think I left my bitpurse on the dresser back at home. I don't s'pose I can pay you back tomorrow?” Pinkie giggled, shaking her head. “Bits aren't what keeps parties going, silly!” Applejack shifted from one hoof to the other. “Huh. Maybe I ain't entirely clear on what a cover charge is.” “A sum paid by attendees of a party or event to the host of that party or event to compensate for the costs incurred from preparing said party or event,” Pinkie recited. “But ya don't want bits,” Applejack said, a puzzled frown on her face. “Nope!” Applejack rubbed her chin. Her ears fell a little. “I... huh. I thought ya said you wanted me here. If ya don't, if it's too much trouble, that's okay. I mean, the Carrots still got room.” Pinkie's grin faded. “What? No! No, no, of course I want you here, AJ! I really, really want—” She stopped and fidgeted uncomfortably, licking her lips. A hint of frustration crept into Applejack's tone. “Well then, what is it ya want, hon? I'm a bit tired, an' I'd like to take these saddlebags off.” Pinkie glanced back and forth. “What is it that every party has?” “Sugar?” “Pizza parties don't have sugar,” Pinkie said. “What is there that a party isn't a party without?” Applejack lifted her hat to scratch her head. “Music? Do ya want me ta sing for ya, sugarcube?” “Well, I always want you to sing for me,” Pinkie giggled, “but that isn't it. Think, Applejack. What could I never, ever throw a party ever if I didn't have?” “Uhh, balloons?” she guessed. Pinkie threw up her hooves in defeat. She grabbed Applejack behind the neck and pulled her in close. Her lips met Applejack's with a wet smack. The farm pony's hat fell to the ground as her eyes went as wide as grapefruits. “Love, silly,” Pinkie purred into her ear, stroking a hoof through Applejack's golden mane. “I need love.” A moment passed while Applejack stared at her friend in shock. She brought a hoof up to feel her lips—in part, to make certain they were still there. She looked into the depths of Pinkie's bright blue eyes. Applejack's eyelids sank to half-mast. She wrapped her hooves around Pinkie, and paid her cover charge in full. Pinkie lay on the floor, something halfway between a gasp and a chuckle on her breath as Applejack picked her hat back up and stepped inside. It took her eyes a moment to adjust to the indoor lighting. When they did, she found Fluttershy sinking into the cushions of the couch. Her fully-spread wings kept her from disappearing entirely into the furniture like it appeared she was trying to. Instead of a face, she had one big, bright red blush. Applejack glanced back and forth between her two friends. She coughed into her hoof. “Did, uh... did she make you pay the cover charge, too?” The couch squeaked. Author's Note It seems I am developing an OT3. This isn't the first time I've toyed with Flutterjack Pie, and I have a feeling it won't be the last, either. 14: The Angst Hotline [Comedy]((Prompt: And now, a public service announcement.)) We join our friend Pinkie Pie on a typical, sunny Ponyville day. “Hi! How's it going?” See her carefree gait as she greets ponies about town. Listen to the song she hums as she bounds along. “La, la la la la, la-la la, la-la la...” She sure seems happy, doesn't she? “Gosh, I sure do seem happy!” Looking at her, you would never guess... “Ooh! Oh! Let me guess! Lemme guess! Am I secretly a robot? An alien! A robot alien?” ...You would never guess that beneath that cheery facade, Pinkie Pie was suffering from angst. “Wow, you're right, I never would have guessed that! Okay, what am I angsting about?” You see, Pinkie Pie has always been in love with her friend, Twilight Sparkle. “Well duh! I mean, who wouldn't be in love with her? She's super-cute, and really really smart, and she has a great singing voice, and...” But before Pinkie could confess her undying affection to her friend, Twilight got together with Applejack instead. “Whoo-hoo! Atta girl, Twilight! Oh gosh, this calls for a party! I'm gonna need all the purple and orange frosting I can get my hooves on!” Pinkie Pie is inconsolably broken up about it. “Are you kidding? This is like the bestest news I've heard all day! Not only am I in love with Twilight, but Applejack is, too? Can you say 'threesome?'” Absolutely inconsolable. “I wonder if Dashie wants in on this, too? It could be a whole pony-pile!” Also, a speeding cart ran over her hoof. “Owie!” See those tears? Inconsolable. “Maybe I can get Twilight or Applejack to kiss it better for me.” But don't worry. There's help. If you think you or somepony you know is suffering from angst, have them call the Angst Hotline. We're here to help get you through your most trying times. “Hello, Angst Hotline? Somepony ran over my hoof and it hurts. Also, apparently I'm supposed to be sad or something about wanting to smooch Twilight? I'm not really sure on that one... Oh, hang on, I've got a call on the other line!” “Hello, Angst Hotline, this is Pinkie speaking! How can I help you? Oh gosh, your poor hoof! This calls for a get-well party! We can invite Twilight and Applejack, and Rarity, and Fluttershy, and Dashie, and they can all kiss it better! It'll be great!” Bonus #1: I'll Never Forget You [Comedy] [Romance]((Prompt: All good things must come to an end.)) Pinkie buried her nose into Fluttershy's soft curtain of mane. They only had so much time left to be together. Five minutes, less than that, less and less as each precious second ticked by. She squeezed the pegasus in her hooves as though she could hold onto those priceless moments if she only held her love tight enough. “I love you,” she whispered in Fluttershy's ear. “I'll never forget you, no matter what happens.” Pinkie felt a tremor run up Fluttershy's spine. She found herself enclosed in soft, warm wings. “I... I love you too, Pinkie. What...” “It's time,” said Twilight. Her voice rang with the gravity of a grave bell. No. No, that couldn't have been five minutes. Pinkie wrapped her hooves desperately around Fluttershy's back, shaking her head in protest. “P-Pinkie?” Fluttershy stammered. “Pinkie, Twilight says it's time.” “No.” said Pinkie stubbornly. “No, I don't wanna let you go. You can't make me!” “Pinkie, we agreed,” said Twilight. “Five minutes. You have to let go of Fluttershy.” Met with another stubborn shake of Pinkie's head, Twilight sighed. Pinkie Pie could be a strong pony when she was trying, but Twilight's magic was like a wall of steel. A wall of shimmering, purple steel that was slightly warm and sorta tickled on touch. Twilight was careful not to harm Pinkie as she peeled the mare's legs away from Fluttershy. “It's time,” she repeated, her voice a bit strained from the spell. She shot a glance in the other direction. “Hey, that goes for you too, Rainbow and Rarity. Come on, girls, we all agreed on five minutes.” Rarity and Rainbow Dash ceased their kissing with a disappointed sigh. Three pairs of mares stood up and switched partners. “Okay, five minutes for real this time, girls,” Twilight said, flipping over a glass timepiece and sitting down next to Rarity. Pinkie wrapped her hooves around Applejack and buried her muzzle into her straw-like bundle of blonde mane. “I love you, Applejack,” she said, squeezing the mare tight. “I'm never going to forget you, no matter what happens!” Applejack sighed. “Next time, I'm votin' for the pony-pile.” Author's Note This was one of two entries that I wrote for TMP's final prompt. The other one will be up tomorrow.
1: The Solution is Pie [Romance]((Prompt: Apple Pie.)) Pinkie Pie had a problem. Applejack had a crush. Actually, no. That wasn't a problem. Crushes were great. They made ponies have fluttery warm-fuzzy feelings. They led to cuddles and nuzzling and smooches. The fact that one of Pinkie's best friends in the whole world had a crush was such great news that Pinkie could hardly contain her squeaks of excitement and glee. But contain them she did, because the problem was in who Applejack had a crush on. Applejack had a crush on Fluttershy. Again, that wasn't a bad thing by itself. Fluttershy was really, really cute, and super nice, and a pony would have to be crazy not to have a crush on her. Applejack wasn't crazy—in fact, she was the most not-crazy pony Pinkie knew—so of course she had a crush on Fluttershy. The problem, that one nibbly bit of trouble that made Applejack having a crush on Fluttershy into just a little bit less than the superific news it should have been, was that Fluttershy was already seeing somepony, and it wasn't Applejack. Pinkie Pie had a problem, because the pony Fluttershy was seeing was Pinkie Pie. It was a doozy of a problem. Pinkie pondered, and she thought, and she scrunched her face up really hard, and she still couldn't think of a solution that would leave everypony happy. Pinkie could stop dating Fluttershy so that Applejack would have a chance, but then Fluttershy would think Pinkie didn't want to keep dating her, and Fluttershy would be sad. Pinkie could invite Applejack to come with her and Fluttershy on their dates and have a wonderful three-pony pileup of love, but Pinkie didn't think Applejack or Fluttershy were the kinds of ponies that were very well-suited to three-pony pileups of love. Applejack would get all awkward and uncomfortable, if she didn't just turn the idea down in the first place, and Fluttershy would squeak and blush really hard and try to hide under her mane. But Pinkie couldn't just do nothing, either. Applejack dragged her hooves and sighed wherever she went, and every time Pinkie saw her, Applejack said “Hi Pinkie,” in a tone of voice that said, “I'm trying really hard not to be jealous because you're my best friend, but every time I see you I remember how bad I wish Fluttershy was with me instead of you.” That was a really complicated tone of voice to pull off, and it had to make her tired to talk like that. Pinkie eventually came up with a solution that would hopefully work. This solution was to throw a party, of course. Pinkie was of the strong conviction that there were few things in life that could not be made better with a party. But it couldn't be just any party. The wrong type of party would just make things worse. For example, if she threw a party celebrating the fact that she and Fluttershy had just had their longest session of cuddles yet, that would make Applejack even sadder! No, this party had to be the right type of party. A surgical strike-party rather than a nuclear party bomb. This party had to have just the right decorations, and just the right games and snacks, and most importantly, she had to invite just the right ponies. Pinkie carefully penned the address on the envelope and stuck a stamp on it. She needed it to get to its recipient as quick as possible, so she waited by the mailbox and gave the mailmare some extra bits when she took the letter. * “What was this party for, again, Pinkie?” Applejack still spoke in her 'trying not to be jealous' voice. Pinkie was sure that had to be hard on her throat. Pinkie filled a cup with punch and slid it over to her. “Arbor Day,” she said, grinning. Applejack raised a skeptical eyebrow. “Pinkie, I work with trees for a living, an' I happen to know Arbor Day was last week.” Pinkie giggled. “Well yeah, the day was last week, but did you have a party then?” The farmer stared into her drink. “I s'pose not.” “Well there you go!” Pinkie's ear flickered as the door creaked open. In the doorway stood a blue-gray earth pony with a straight mane and tail. She winced nervously as the door swung shut behind her. “I, uh, I'm sorry I'm late,” she said quietly. “Blinkie!” Pinkie covered the length of the room in two enthusiastic bounces and wrapped the new arrival in a big hug. “You made it! I was worried the invitation didn't get to you in time, or you were too busy with the rock farm, or you got carried off by a wild pterannodon and had dozens of incredible adventures on your long trek back home!” Blinkie shook her head. “Um, no, the train was just a little late. Hi, Pinkie.” Pinkie squeezed her even harder, and without setting her down, dragged her over to the punch table. Applejack blinked in curiosity as Pinkie grabbed her and Blinkie's hooves and placed them together in a hoofshake. “Blinkie, this is my best friend Applejack. She runs a farm here in Ponyville, except for that one time when I ran the farm instead and she sewed things, but usually she runs it. Applejack, this is my sister Blinkie. She also runs a farm!” Blinkie shook her head. “I don't run it, Pinkie.” “When's the last time Mom and Dad were the ones to make a decision for the farm?” Pinkie asked. Blinkie's eyes cast toward the ground. “Ten years.” Pinkie grinned and patted her friend and sister on the back, inching them closer together. “I'll let you farm ponies get acquainted. It looks like they're running out of dip at the other table!” Before either pony could speak up, Pinkie disappeared in a pink blur. Applejack coughed into her hoof. “So, uh, what do ya grow on your farm?” “Rocks,” Blinkie said. “This year we have a crop of pumice and some shale coming in.” “Ya don't say?” Applejack took a sip of punch, a glimmer of interest in her eye. “I gotta admit I'm a bit curious. How do ya grow rocks, an' what is it ya do with 'em?” A cautious smile formed on Blinkie's lips. “Oh, well see, it's actually an important cornerstone of the economy...”
1.5: Recipe For Love [Romance]((Prompt: Apple Pie.)) Two and a half pounds of sliced apples. Applejack let the sliced apples simmer on the stove. She didn't want to leave them on for too long, just enough to get them good and soft. She hummed to herself as she gathered the rest of her ingredients together on the counter. Three cups of flour. She kneaded the dough, careful not to let it stick to her hooves. Applejack smoothed it into a flat sheet and put it into the round pan. She crimped the dough on the edges to leave a nicely ruffled crust. Three quarters cups sugar. The timer dinged, and Applejack slid the pot off of the stove. She let the apples drain before adding the sugar and cinnamon to them. The filling congealed into a crusty, juicy goo. Applejack grinned as she dumped it into the pan and put the remaining strips of dough in a criss-cross pattern over the top. Bake until crust is golden brown. Applejack cleaned up the kitchen while she waited for the pie to bake. She damped a rag and wiped down all the counter tops. All of the dishes and measuring cups were piled into the sink and doused in suds. She continued humming as she scrubbed the spoons and bowls. Leave out until cool. Applejack caught her sister's attention as she ran through the fields with her friends. She gave the filly enough bits to buy some cupcakes for the three of them, and sent her into town with a note to give to Pinkie when they got to Sugarcube Corner. She leaned against the windowsill, taking a deep breath of the pie's rich scent as she watched the fillies race each other down the road to Ponyville. Enjoy with friends or family. Pinkie arrived at Sweet Apple Acres. “Hello?” she said, slowing to a trot as she approached the front door of the farmhouse. “Applejack? You said you wanted to see me?” There was no answer. She found a note pinned to the door. “Meet me in the north field,” she read aloud. A grin spread across her face. “Ooh, a game!” Pinkie began bouncing off into the north field. The north field, much like the east, west and south fields, consisted of rows upon rows of apple trees. On the second row in, Pinkie found another note. “Left three trees,” she read. “One, two, three.” There was another note folded on the ground at the base of this tree. Pinkie bent down to nose it open. “Look... up?” As Pinkie's eyes raised, an apple pie fell from the branches above, guided towards her face by orange hooves. Gooey chunks of fruit filling and crispy crust spattered all over her pink coat. “Surprise, sugarcube!” Pinkie blinked in surprise for a moment, a piece of apple dripping from her chin as she stared at Applejack, who hung from a branch of her tree with a broad grin on her face. A giggle built up in Pinkie's throat, and her lips spread into a matching smile. “Omigosh, I've been apple-pied!” she exclaimed. Pinkie stuck her tongue out and managed to clear a significant portion of the pie from her face in one wet slurp. “Mmm, delicious!” Applejack darted forward and licked away a spot Pinkie had missed on her cheek. “Happy one-month anniversary, hon.” Author's Note Wait, 1.5? What's the deal, Esle? This has the same prompt as the first chapter! I wrote two stories for this prompt, because I had the incredible fortune of getting Apple Pie for my first prompt after starting on Pinkie Pie. Anyone who knows me knows I absolutely adore Apple Pie, and I got the prompt for it just as I was able to do something with it! I had to do something special for the opportunity.
2: Dr. Pie [Slice of Life] [Comedy]((Prompt: Twilight experiments on Pinkie.)) Subject displays symptoms of unhappiness. Corners of mouth affected by gravity more significantly than rest of body. Eyebrows attracted to center of face. Left eyelid affected by occasional twitch. Overall effect not unlike the face a pony would make after eating a lemon whole. Two possible preliminary prognoses: One, subject has ingested whole lemon. Two, subject is afflicted with a severe case of the grumps. Beginning diagnostics to check for lemon consumption. Breath negative for citric smells. May need to recommend improved oral hygiene to subject. Upon opening subject's mouth for inspection, no traces of lemon-rind found. Also almost had hoof bitten off. Mouth too small and cute to have swallowed lemon without chewing, unless it was a very small lemon. ...Possible, but unlikely. More likely a grumps infection. Seeking verbal confirmation. “Hey Twilight, did you eat a really tiny lemon? Because you look like you might have eaten a lemon.” Eyelid twitch still present. “What do you think?” Subject does not give clear response one way or the other. Will begin treatment for grumps, have backup plan ready in case of tiny lemons. Begin phase one of grumps treatment. If face can be manually reset to smiley-wiley mode, rest of symptoms of grumps usually will disappear. Manual modifications to facial expression do not take. Snarled lips stretched too firmly into frown for hooves to move into recommended position. Was afraid of this; grumps have advanced into grumpy-pants stage. Will have to take drastic measures. “Hey, Twilight! What do you call the Cake twins when they're upset? Crab-Cakes! Get it?” Subject still unresponsive. Possibly descending further into grumpy-pants syndrome. “Twi? Twilight?” Subject beginning to growl. “Twilight, are you angry?” “What tipped you off, Pinkie?” Begin sharing diagnostic process with subject. Subject interrupts at the part about little lemons. “Yes! Yes, I am angry, Pinkie!” Grumps diagnostic confirmed! But too early to celebrate just yet. Subject has remained resistant to traditional cures so far. At this point, even a cake might not be enough to restore healthy levels of giggles and grins. With nothing left to fall back on, it is time to go into untested treatment options and hope for the best. “Twilight... I'm sorry for breaking your expensive science-thingy.” “And?” “And... and for arranging the pieces into a found-object sculpture of a pony licking an ice-cream cone.” “And?” “And I'll help you and Spike clean it up and work on paying off a new one for you.” Success! Subject's face losing frowny-wowniness, and is offering a hug! “You don't have to pay for a new one, Pinkie. But you need to be careful with the things you find down here. Some of this stuff can be very dangerous if not handled properly. You could have been hurt.”
3: Tails By Default [Slice of Life]((Prompt: Let's decide with a coin toss.)) On one of her frequent strolls through Ponyville, Twilight Sparkle noticed her friend Pinkie Pie acting strangely. That in itself was not so unusual, as Pinkie was always acting strangely. It was generally called 'Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie.' But while Pinkie's antics were a common occurrence, they always proved to be interesting, so Twilight moved closer to investigate. The bubbly baker had her tail gripped firmly in her mouth, and her forehooves crossed in front of her. She balanced a single shiny bit on her nose and kept throwing it onto the cobblestones. Whatever Pinkie was trying to accomplish, it seemed she was not having much luck, as every time she threw the bit onto the ground she made a frustrated grunt. Twilight cleared her throat. “Do I dare ask what you're doing, Pinkie?” Pinkie's eyes slipped from the coin on her nose to her friend. Her irritation melted under a bright smile as she greeted Twilight. “Oh, hi, Twilight! I'm trying to trick my Pinkie-sense!” The hairs on the back of Twilight's neck prickled. She got that familiar feeling she remembered from that one time she wanted to see what happened when a growth spell was cast on an ant. That tiny voice telling her it was a bad idea, but so tempting for the sheer science of it. She suddenly realized she was drooling. Twilight wiped her mouth and cleared her throat. “You're, uh, you're doing what?” “Tricking my Pinkie-sense,” Pinkie confirmed, shaking her tail. “I want to flip a coin to decide something, but I can't because my Pinkie-sense tells me what side it's going to land on before I toss it!” That explained the coin. “What are you trying to decide, Pinkie?” Pinkie pointed toward the ice cream shop across the street. “I can't decide whether to spend this bit that I found on an ice cream cone, or to throw it in this wishing well and wish for an ice cream cone!” Twilight now noticed the stone well behind Pinkie. Twilight raised her brow. “Wouldn't you be better off just getting the ice cream for yourself?” “Well yeah, I'm more likely to get ice cream if I go and buy it.” Pinkie put a hoof to her chin. “Unless they're all out of ice cream,” she added. “But if I wish for ice cream and then get it, then that ice cream will be extra-special because my wish came true!” Twilight sighed. “I suppose I can't argue with that logic. So what's the problem?” Pinkie waved a hoof at her tail. “I can't flip a coin without already knowing what it's gonna land on! When a coin is gonna be heads, my tail gets tingly. When it's gonna be tails—” “Your head gets tingly,” Twilight finished for her. Pinkie shook her head. “No, when it's gonna be tails, my right hoof cramps up. Tingly head is for swarms of locusts.” “Oh.” Twilight furrowed her brow in thought. “You know, Pinkie, I actually think I can help you.” Pinkie bounced in place. “You can?” “Yes. See, I've been discussing anesthetic spells with Dr. Stable recently, and I've picked up a few things from him.” Twilight gestured toward Pinkie. “I can make your tail and hoof go numb so that you can't feel them when you flip the coin.” Pinkie's eyes widened. “You could do that for me?” Twilight grinned and nodded. “Whenever you're ready.” Her horn glowed a soft magenta. Pinkie centered the bit on the tip of her nose. “Okay, do it!” Her tail and right hoof were bathed in a sparkling aura. Pinkie lifted her hoof and waved it around. “Hehee, that feels funny!” “Any Pinkie-sense coming through?” Twilight asked. “Nope!” Pinkie smiled broadly. “Okay, heads I go and buy ice cream, tails it goes in the wishing well!” With a flick of her head, she sent the bit flying. The little piece of gold sailed through the air, bounced off a street lamp with a 'clang,' and ended up spinning on its side on the edge of the wishing well. The bit wobbled, wavered, and finally fell into the well with a tiny splash. Pinkie peered over the edge into the water. “Aww,” she complained, “Now I'll never know what side it landed on!” Twilight giggled and put a hoof on her back. “Well, I've got two bits right here, and they're coming up heads for me. Let's go get some ice cream.”
4: Fun While It Lasted [Sad]((Prompt: Maybe it's better that way...)) It's really kinda silly, if you think about it. But then again, 'silly' is the word you would use to describe the whole day in which I've lived. Born in a silly place from a silly mare who had a silly wish. Lived a silly life doing silly things. About to die taking a silly test. Oh, I shouldn't put it like that. I'm not going to die when they send me back. I just... don't know what I am going to do instead of dying. I won't keep the memories I made today, or else I would remember the other lives I've lived. I won't keep these lovely pink hooves, or else that pond would be full of hooves of every shape and color. So if I'm not dying, but I don't get to keep anything from my life, what do I call it? Look at her. Bless her, she's managed to convince herself she's one of us. So worried that she's lost herself and become nothing in this sea of pink. It really is obvious which one is the rea—the original Pinkie. If her friends just paid a bit of attention, they wouldn't need to do this test. I bet I could do it, if I tried. I bet I could outlast her. It's sorely tempting. Just keep this borrowed life, keep the lessons I've learned and the memories I've formed. I've spent aeons being nothing, I could almost certainly beat this mare in a contest of patience. Because between me and her, that's all this test really is, is patience. It's meant as a test of her love for her friends, and that might work to separate her from the rest of my sisters, but it won't sort me out. I love her friends, too. That's silly, I know. I've only had a day with them, whereas she has had years. What makes me so special that I think I can form as close a bond in a single day? I don't know the answer to that. I only know that the first thing I saw of this world that truly touched me was the way her friends look at her—or at who they thought was her. Just a moment's glance conveyed so much love, such concern. I saw how much they cared for her, and I found something far beyond fun. I wanted it. In the same heartbeat that brought my first taste of love, I had my first taste of envy as well. Maybe they had been looking at me, but that look had been meant for her. She gets friends. She gets love. I get a hot bolt of magic that makes me forget my dreams and desires and love. It isn't fair. Maybe I should try for it after all. Does she really deserve all these things, just because she was here first? Why shouldn't it be me? Why can't it be me? Ah, but then there's her friends. The whole reason this life would be worth fighting for. Taking her place wouldn't make them love me. They would still love her, and just never know the difference. If I ever told them what I had done, they would not wrap me in teary-eyed embraces and say they forgive me. Their faces would go pale in heart-breaking horror, and I would become the Thing That Took Pinkie Away. If I love them like I say I do, I can't do that to them. If I love them like I say I do, then I must admit that they deserve to have their Pinkie, not some imitation. Not some copy that came up with something she thinks of as profound in her one day of life and thinks that earns her a spot at their side. If that's it, then I suppose there's no need to keep up with this farce of a test. But I may as well take a few pretenders along with me. You're a lucky pony, Pinkie Pie. “Hey, look what I can do!” It's been fun. Author's Note Feels! Feels for the Pinkie Clone!
5: Ode to a Pony In Orange [Comedy]((Prompt: Once upon a rhyme. Special rule: No mention of Zecora or Zebras.)) “Hey Twilight, come in here! You're gonna want in on this bet!” Twilight Sparkle's ears perked up as Rainbow Dash leaned out a window of Sugarcube Corner and yelled across the street at her. The pegasus beckoned her inside and disappeared back into the window. Curious, Twilight trotted across and pushed open the door. All of her friends were gathered around a table atop which stood Pinkie Pie. Pinkie was busy stretching her jaw muscles out while the others dug into their bitpurses and placed wagers. A small sigh escaped Twilight's lips. “Please tell me nopony dared her to eat some unhealthy amount of cheese or something.” Pinkie grinned and shook her head. “Nopers! We all learned our lesson the last time that happened!” Rainbow flapped her wings. “Pinkie says she can rhyme the word 'orange.'” Twilight raised her eyebrow. “Pinkie, you know there's no rhyme for orange.” Pinkie frowned. Then she grinned. Then frowned again. “Sorry Twilight,” she said, shaking her lips out. “I can't hear you over the sound of you all being about to be flabbergasted!” Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “Rarity and I each bet her twenty bits she couldn't do it. Applejack's putting her bits on Pinkie, either because she can't spell or because she doesn't like money, I'm not sure which.” “Hey!” Applejack barked at her. “I put a bit down on both sides,” Fluttershy said, raising a hoof. “I didn't want anypony to feel left out.” Twilight looked at them all. “This is juvenile, girls, placing bets like this. Don't you all have better things to do?” The mares grew quiet for a moment and looked at one another. Then as one they all burst out laughing. Rainbow wiped a mirthful tear from her eye. “So, how much are you putting down, Twi?” Twilight shot a glance up to Pinkie Pie. “Made-up words don't count, Pinkie.” “Every word was made up sometime or another,” Pinkie replied. “Well, it has to be in the Equestrian Dictionary or you can't use it.” Twilight said. After a moment's thought, she added, “And you can't scribble it into the margins.” “'Kay.” Twilight sighed and dug out her bitpurse. “Put me down for five on 'can't.'” “Only five, darling?” Rarity asked. “This is easy money, dear.” “I already have a feeling I'm going to regret betting against Pinkie Pie,” Twilight responded, burying her face in her hooves. Pinkie bounced on the table, making the bits at her hooves clatter and wobble. “All right, is everypony ready?” “Let's hear it, Pinkie.” Applejack clapped her hooves together. “Ahem.” Pinkie Pie cleared her throat. “This is entitled, 'Ode to a Pony in Orange.' In fruit-bucking circles they speak of a farm-filly who is far, far from meek. This pony in orange can go and buck more in j- -ust a day than most can in a week!”
6: Assasination [Romance]((Prompt: The sentence that destroys and/or heals Twilight Sparkle.)) Canterlot was beautiful. Its tall marble towers and lush gardens and breathtaking vistas all made it almost universally hailed as the most attractive city in Equestria. The cool, crisp air from the mountain kept the city from ever getting too hot in the summer, and magical warm springs kept it warm in the winter. All of the open-air architecture and friendly, inviting spaces made it easy to forget one simple fact: Canterlot was a fortress. It stood on the side of a lone mountain, overlooking miles and miles of its own approach. The alabaster spires could field swarms of armored pegasi at a moment's notice, and there was always at least two unicorn shield-specialists ready at all times to deploy a magical bubble around the whole city. In the wake of the changeling invasion, the Equestrian Intelligence Agency's funding had been tripled, ensuring that anything spoken within the borders of Canterlot would soon reach Celestia's ears. No force in the known world could possibly threaten the seat of Equestrian power, whether by land, by air, or by infiltration. Which was why everypony was shocked the day that Princess Twilight Sparkle was assassinated. The assassin knocked on the princess's chamber door. She got no invitation to enter, but she pushed the door open anyway. “Twilight?” she called. The dry scrape of quills on parchment echoed from the same corner it had the last time she had come. The assassin stepped fully into the room and looked to see Twilight at her desk. “Hello, Pinkie,” the princess said, not looking up from her work. Pinkie grinned. “Hey Twilight, let's go out and play tag in the garden!” She covered the chamber in the blink of an eye, and tapped Twilight on the shoulder. “You're it!” The princess still did not look up from the stack of papers on her desk. “I'm busy,” she said. “Besides,” she added, spreading her wings, “It would be a bit one-sided.” “I can tie a hoof behind my back to make it fair,” Pinkie said, bouncing on three hooves. Twilight did not respond. Pinkie's grin dimmed slightly. “Come on, Twilight, it's a beautiful day out!” A brief sigh escaped the princess's lips. “Pinkie, this stuff is important. Maybe later, okay?” Pinkie's ears sagged. “Oh... Okie dok...” She paused. Her lips slowly hardened into a thin line. “No, actually not okie dokie, loki!” Twilight's eyes finally raised from the papers. “Excuse me?” “'Later' is supposed to be in an hour or two,” Pinkie said, her voice rising to a level of agitation Twilight had never heard come from the pink mare. “It doesn't mean 'tomorrow' or 'next week' or 'in four months!'” Pinkie's chest heaved. “Pinkie, I...” “Four months, Twilight!” She was shouting now. “You still haven't given me a chance to throw you a coronation party yet! I quit my job with the Cakes so that I could come out here and make sure you didn't get lonely!” “Pinkie, I told you not to do that,” Twilight said, trying her best to calm her friend down. Pinkie's eyes slipped to the floor. “I... I can't...” she sniffed. “I'm sorry, Twilight, but I can't do it anymore. I thought I could make you happy, but...” And then the assassin dealt the killing blow. “I'm going back to Ponyville. Goodbye, Twilight.” The princess reeled back in her chair, mortally wounded. She gasped for air, her papers flying off of the desk as her killer slowly turned around and plodded back out into the hallway. With the last of her life, the princess watched a pink tail disappear behind the door. And in a bright flash of light, Princess Twilight Sparkle was destroyed. In the hallway, Twilight Sparkle was reborn. Watery tears filled her eyes as she grimaced at Pinkie Pie. Like a vengeful phantom, she stuck out her hoof at the pink pony, shaking. She tapped Pinkie on the nose. “You're it,” she whispered. Then Twilight Sparkle turned and flew out the window.
7: Clyde Pie and the World [Sad]((Prompt: For years, I clung to the memory of it. Then the memory of the memory. And then nothing. I look upon you and feel nothing. I remember nothing but you turning your back on me, along with all the others.)) He sat alone on a lump of rock that marked the border of his land. To say that he sat scowling would be accurate, but redundant; he always scowled. Rather than sitting at his perch to look upon the outside world, he looked only inward, at his own farm. He never looked at the world beyond his farm. There were a good many things, in fact, that Clyde Pie never did. He never sang. He never laughed. He never danced the pony-pokey all night until his legs threatened to trot right away from his body and go to bed without him. But most of all, he never looked at the outside world. It was a world that did not deserve to have his eyes. It was a world that had only brought him misery and hurt. It was a world that had only ever spat on him and tried to crush him. It was a world that had stolen all three of his daughters from him. Pinkamena had been the first to go. After the hullabaloo in the barn—what had she called it? A party? Something like that—it shouldn't have come as a surprise that her aspirations would lead her away from the rock farm. She had always been an odd filly. It still had shocked him. Susan had held his leg so tightly he had lost feeling in his hoof the day Pinkamena had packed her things, gave them all hugs, and set off in search of more ponies she could make smile. The world had swallowed her up the moment she had passed the rock he now sat on. Every once in a while he received letters from a 'Pinkie Pie,' but the world had taken away his Pinkamena. Inktavia had been next. Shortly after the party, she had developed a passion for the music Pinkamena had played on the old phonograph. Inktavia would spend hours—every moment she had away from her chores—up in her room listening to the chorus of strings ring out from the spinning vinyl. Clyde and Susan had bought her that used cello for her birthday, hoping that if she could play her music here, she wouldn't need to leave. It didn't work. She had taken to the instrument like a fish to water, and before the end of two years she was gone, off to join an orchestra in Canterlot. But surely sweet Blinkastasia would stay. Rock-farming was in her bones and blood. Her cutie mark was of the very earth and stone they lived on. It was her destiny. Destiny was a fickle, damnable thing. It was Blinkastasia's destiny to work with rocks, for sure, but not on the Pie family's farm. Clyde Pie was the furthest thing from a violent stallion, but the day that slimy colt Marble Quarry had seduced his daughter off of the farm with promises of untold wealth and adventure as his head geologist, he'd had dark, dark thoughts of what he would do if he ever caught Marble on his land again. The world had taken Clyde's daughters from him, so he sat on his rock with his back facing the world and watched the shadows of clouds roll past his fields. He could see Susan in the east field, rotating a small chunk of granite. Sunlight glinted off of the new rows of obsidian, jagged edges sparkling gray. He heard hoofsteps approaching from behind him. He did not turn. Clyde Pie never turned to greet strangers. The hoofsteps stopped a little way away from him. “Daddy?” Clyde thought he knew that voice, but he knew he couldn't. That was the voice of his Pinkamena, and Pinkamena was gone. The pony behind him was a part of the world that had taken his daughters away, and he wanted nothing to do with her. A few more hoofsteps brought the stranger closer. “Daddy, it's me, Pinkie.” He kept his eyes trained on his land. Clyde Pie never spoke with anypony that had a name like 'Pinkie.' “I'm sorry I don't visit as often as I said I would,” said this 'Pinkie.' “It's... it's harder than I thought to come back.” His expression didn't change. Clyde Pie never let strangers' words affect him. Pink hooves wrapped around his chest from behind. A soft, curly mane pressed against his back. “I missed you, Daddy.” He didn't cry. Clyde Pie never, ever cried. That was a lie.
9: No Good At Foalsitting [Romance] [Slice of Life]((Prompt: Pinkie has to watch the Cake twins again, but this time it’s Pinkie’s special somepony that bears the brunt of the twins’ wrath.)) The chime rang as the front door to Sugarcube Corner swung open. Mrs. Cake looked up from what appeared to be an inventory list of some sort. “Oh, there she is,” she said. “And Rarity, too. Hello, dearie!” Rarity smiled in greeting as Pinkie spoke up. “Hi, Mrs. Cake. Is it all right if Rarity helps me watch Pound and Pumpkin tonight?” “Of course,” she said. “Carrot, dear, are you about ready?” she called up the stairs. “Just about,” he replied, emerging at the top. He was in the midst of fiddling with a tie. “Hello, Rarity. Did you two have a good time out last night?” “It was lovely,” Rarity said, drawing a little nearer to Pinkie and her smile growing a little warmer. “Pinkie was quite gallant, and her... enthusiasm at the play did not go unappreciated.” Pinkie grinned at this. “I do hope you have as good a time yourself.” “We will.” Mr. Cake helped his wife put on a pearl necklace and they headed for the door. “Thank you for taking care of the twins tonight.” Pinkie bounced. “No problem!” “Have fun,” Rarity called after them as they left. Her smile remained on her face as she shut the door, but faded as soon as the latch clicked. “All right, Pinkie, spill.” Pinkie Pie already had the twins climbing over her. She giggled. “There's no need for the flour trick right now, Pound and Pumpkin are already happy!” “That's cute, dear,” Rarity said, “But you and I both know I'm about as much help with the foals as the first creature you would come across in the Everfree.” She lifted her hoof and curled her lip as a drooling, gurgling Pumpkin Cake crawled toward her. Pinkie picked up Pumpkin and set her on Rarity's back, much to the mare's protest. “That's not true, Rarity!” Pumpkin wiggled and nearly fell off, but Rarity shifted her weight to keep her balanced. “I've all the maternal instincts of a pit viper, darling. Either you suffer from a case of extremely poor judgment, or when you asked me to help you with the foals, what you really wanted was to talk.” She put her hoof to her chin. “On second thought, a pit viper probably wouldn't complain as much about the smell.” Pinkie sniffed. “Ooh, good catch, Rarity! Smells like somepony needs a fresh diaper!” She grabbed Pound and carried him over to the changing table. “Rarity? A hoof?” Rarity suppressed a shudder. “What do you need, darling?” “Just give me the baby powder and a fresh diaper from over there while I have my hooves full.” “Oh,” she said, relieved. “That's it?” Rarity levitated said objects to her marefriend. “Mhm,” Pinkie said, flinging the old diaper into the garbage bin. Pound frowned a bit at his fresh diaper. Rarity shared his frown. “Darling, I think you put it on backwards.” Her horn lit up, and the diaper readjusted itself. With a thought, she added a ribbon. “There. Fit and snug, and as dapper as a diaper might be.” Pound babbled and stomped his hooves on the floor happily. Pinkie grinned. “Okay, now it's time to put them down for a nap.” She gathered a squirming Pound into her hooves, and Rarity followed her up the stairs with Pumpkin still on her back. Pinkie took both the foals and tucked them into their crib. “Could you sing to them, Rarity?” “Me?” Rarity frowned uncertainly. “Darling, you have a much better singing voice than I do.” “I'm good at singing songs to cheer ponies up,” Pinkie said, “but I'm no good at lullabies. Please, Rarity?” Rarity glanced at the foals, who stared back up at her with wide eyes. She took a deep breath. “Very well... Hush now, quiet now, it's time to lay your sleepy head...” A few minutes later, the twins snored softly. Pinkie covered a long yawn with a hoof. “You were right, Rarity, there was something I wanted to talk to you about.” Rarity sat by the crib, peering down at the sleeping foals. “What did you need, love?” Pinkie nuzzled into her side, a content smile on her lips. “I want to know if you think we should adopt foals for ourselves some day.” Author's Note My headcanon places this in continuity with Five Minutes.
10: Legend of a Birthday [Slice of Life]((Prompt: The birthday of a legend.)) It was quiet. Too quiet. Twilight glanced around nervously, taking stock of Ponyville around her. Ponies walked the streets, chatting amiably as they made their way to and from their destinations. In the market, merchants hawked their wares while customers browsed through the goods. Birds chirped and flew across the bright blue sky. All in all, it was a very normal, peaceful day. Too normal. Too peaceful. Where was Pinkie? Twilight suddenly realized that she had not seen the party mare around town in the past week. She had caught glimpses of her darting in and out of the back rooms in Sugarcube Corner, and she had noticed light and noise coming from the window in the upper story late at night, but Ponyville had been mostly Pinkie-less for a whole week. Twilight swallowed. She did not like to subscribe to premonitions, but she had a feeling like the calm before a storm. Much like old ponies did not need to check the weather schedule because they could feel it in their bones when a rainstorm was gathering, Twilight could tell something big was about to happen. Pinkie Pie was about to happen. It began with the pink pony wheeling her party cannon out the back of the store. The barrel's caliber had been doubled, and thick, heavy supports had been welded to the sides. With a single-minded focus, Pinkie placed the cannon in the middle of the main thoroughfare and aimed the barrel straight up. She spent a good fifteen minutes ratcheting down all the supports and double-checking their sturdiness as ponies flowed around her, mild curiosity on their faces. Satisfied that her cannon was set up properly, Pinkie zipped back into the store. Twilight looked at the oversized piece of artillery, chewing her lip. Before she had a chance to investigate it any closer, though, Pinkie re-emerged with a similarly oversized artillery shell balanced on her back. The shell appeared to be made of tightly-packed confetti and streamers. Pinkie unfolded a ladder and climbed up to load the shell into the muzzle of the gun. Twilight finally opened her mouth to speak. “Pinkie, what—” Pinkie dropped to the ground and gave the firing cord a swift tug. A deafening boom rocked the entire town. The shell shot into the air, a contrail of streamers behind it as it climbed for the sky. As it reached its apex, it burst. A rain of multicolored confetti and streamers and banners covered Ponyville in a layer of festive decoration. “IT'S BIRTHDAY!” Pinkie shouted, throwing her forehooves above her head. The denizens of Ponyville blinked in shock as confetti gathered about their fetlocks. Twilight picked herself off the ground, rubbing her ears. She was certain she was going to go deaf before she turned thirty. “It's your birthday, Pinkie? I thought it was in March.” Pinkie giggled and shook her head. “No, no, it's not my birthday. Today is the Birthday!” “The Birthday?” Twilight repeated. “Yeah! Today's the day we celebrate the birth of birthdays!” A party hat floated down from the sky and landed a little askew on Pinkie's head. Twilight tilted her head. “You're gonna have to explain this one to me.” “This is one of the first things you learn in partyology,” Pinkie said, draping a hoof over her friend's shoulders. “See, two thousand years ago, in the Romare Empire, there weren't any birthdays! Ponies just got older, and that was it!” Pinkie produced a cupcake from—actually, Twilight wasn't sure where she had gotten it—and took a bite. “But then came a pony called Partius Timaeus. He loved parties, but they only happened on holidays. The day he had been born on was right in the middle of that long stretch between Winter Wrap-Up and the Summer Sun Celebration where there isn't really any good partying holidays, so he declared that any day a pony was born on counts as a partying day!” Twilight wanted to point out that the Summer Sun Celebration wasn't made a holiday until after the fall of the Romare Empire, but she was instead dragged along as Pinkie continued. “Partius wasn't in any kind of position of power to make that kind of declaration, but he just happened to have the same birthday as the Emperor, who thought it was a great idea. So they threw the first birthday party!” Twilight stopped. “Wait. You said Partius' birthday was between Winter Wrap-Up and the Summer Sun Celebration.” “Uh huh,” Pinkie said, nodding. “Pinkie, it's fall right now.” Pinkie Pie picked up a party hat and patted it onto Twilight's head. “Twilight, Twilight, Twilight,” she tutted. “Didn't you get the message from the story? Any time's a good time to celebrate Birthday!”
11: The Night In Between [Comedy] [Romance]((Prompt: The day before and the day after.)) The twins were finally settled in for the night. Mrs. Cake gently shut the door and made her way down the hall. She spotted light pouring out of Pinkie's open door. Quiet giggles and wet lip-smacking sounds drifted from the room. Yawning, Mrs. Cake peeked in. “Good night, Pink—” She stopped mid-sentence. “Pinkie, what are you doing?” The live-in employee of Sugarcube Corner looked up. She had her forehooves wrapped around herself, enclosing her own back, and her lips were puckered. A wide grin spread across her muzzle. “I'm practicing!” she said. “Practicing?” The elder baker's eyebrows raised. “Yep!” Pinkie's hooves unwrapped themselves. “I'm warming up for when I get to sleep!” The impulse was still there to ask what was meant by that, but years of living under a roof with Pinkie Pie had taught Mrs. Cake that those sorts of questions were usually fruitless. She adopted a supportive smile. “Okay, dearie, just make sure to warm up quietly. You don't want to wake the twins.” “Will do! Good night, Mrs. Cake!” Pinkie went back to puckering her lips and hugging herself. “Mm, your mane is so soft and sparkly,” she murmured, closing her eyes. Mrs. Cake shut the door and shrugged. It was another curious incident to be filed under the heading of 'Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie.' * Princess Celestia glanced over her morning cup of coffee. Her brow arched in a graceful curve. Across the table from her, Luna hummed a soft tune to her bowl of oats. Her head swayed ever so slightly to some tune it seemed only she could hear. Her horn glowed gently as she lifted a spoonful to her mouth. “Mm, these oats are fine indeed this morning!” she proclaimed, raising her spoon skywards in emphasis. “We must convey our compliments to the royal chef!” Celestia took another sip of her coffee. “The kitchen staff does excellent work,” she agreed. “Did you have a good night, my sister?” None but Luna's own sister would have spotted the faint blush beneath her dark cheeks. “Indeed we did, sister. We must thank you for encouraging us to resume our nightly dreamwalking.” A knowing grin spread across Celestia's muzzle. “Aha. Well, it is good to see you in such a good mood this morning. Were last night's ventures anything your elder sister might be privy to?” It did not require the immortal eyes of Celestia to catch the blush that graced Luna's face this time. She coughed into her hoof and stood up. “We must find the royal chef and thank him for a most delicious breakfast!”
12: How Equestria Was Made [No Tag]((Prompt: The next step beyond alicorn.)) The fading light of sunset glittered off the golden regalia, set carefully aside on the ground. Celestia looked somehow smaller without them on. She still had her flowing mane, billowing with the colors of a spring morning, but without her crown binding it, locks of sparkling green and pink kept falling across her face. Her long, slender legs still put her head and shoulders above any normal pony, but without her gilded horseshoes, her hooves looked thin and delicate. She still stood with the posture of a creature whose rule over ponykind had gone unquestioned for a millennium, but without her barding, she looked somehow more humble. Her smile, though... Celestia's smile was unchanged. Her serene smile still glowed with the warmth of a summer morning. It was still the same smile that had always looked over Equestria and quietly conveyed a sense of pride and eternal hope. Celestia gave Twilight Sparkle her smile as she spoke to her softly. “The future I leave in your capable hooves, Twilight.” Twilight's chin trembled as she blinked in incomprehension. “B-but Prin—” A brief flicker of Celestia's eyes caused Twilight to correct the old habit. “But Celestia,” she said, “where are you going?” The faintest of laughter built in the diarch's throat. “It is not where I am going, my friend, but what I am doing. I am learning, dear Twilight. You have shown me the way.” “Shown you the way? P—Celestia, I don't understand.” Twilight's eyes shifted between her old mentor and the set of regalia on the ground. “What have I taught you?” Celestia raised her head, her eyes twinkling in the last light of sunset. “How to be more than I am,” she said. Twilight opened her mouth to speak once again, but Luna placed a gentle hoof on her back. “We will miss you, sister.” Celestia smirked. “Dear Luna, you are going to have to acclimate yourself to modern pronouns one of these days.” “You misunderstand me,” Luna said, shaking her head. “We will all miss you.” Celestia took a deep breath. “I will miss you all as well. But I shall see you again. I promise.” Luna, Celestia and Twilight shared in a long embrace. At length, the solar princess withdrew. “I must go now. You will take good care of Equestria, I know.” She took a few steps away and closed her eyes. As the last colors of twilight faded from the sky to be replaced by nighttime, a soft white glow surrounded her horn. Slowly it spread, engulfing her entirely. Steadily the light grew brighter, more intense. Celestia radiated light as though she were the sun herself, and for a brief moment, it was noon on the dais on which they stood, instead of night. As the coolness of the night returned and Twilight's eyes readjusted, there was no longer an alabaster alicorn. Only a collection of wispy sparks that twinkled and faded as a gentle breeze scattered them into the sky. Twilight sank to her haunches and leaned her head into Luna's shoulder, tears streaming from her eyes. * Celestia saw nothing, for she had no eyes, but she could tell there was light. She felt nothing, for she had no body, but she could tell there was warmth. She heard nothing, for she had no ears, but she could tell there was laughter. She did not know where she was, but it did not matter. She was everywhere and nowhere. She did not know how long it had been, but it did not matter, because time had no meaning to her. Celestia could feel herself losing something, like a piece of herself was slipping out of her grasp. Her memories. The untold centuries were eroding away, evaporating in the light. Reflexively, she fought against it, tried to shield her memories from the light. A voice came to her, and she recognized it as her own. Relax, her own memories told her, in a voice made of pictures and old conversations and emotions. This is what must happen, if we are to grow. Reluctance gripped her. After so long, her memories were all that she had. They were all that she was, and they were so very precious to her. But then she found a memory, and it was of Twilight Sparkle. She remembered her student's courage, her willingness to forge ahead in the faith that it would all work out. Celestia remembered why she was doing this, and she let go. Millenia disappeared. Old friends from long ago. Nights spent worrying over how to care for her little ponies. The night her sister fell to darkness. The night she returned to light. All of it faded into the light. Her age disappeared. Her name disappeared. The last memory she held onto was of Twilight's face as a filly, stars gleaming in her eyes as she had been accepted for training. And then that was gone, too. All there was left of the being that was no longer named Celestia was her smile. Her eternal, unwavering smile remained the very core of her being as she was given new life. She suddenly had a body once more, and could feel the warmth. She had eyes once again and could see the hazy, brilliant light. She had ears once more and could hear the wonderful voice of the world. * The doctor bore a wide grin. “I don't know if I've ever seen such a smile on a newborn before,” he remarked. He used a towel to dry the new foal off and wrapped it in a soft blanket. “Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Pie, it's a filly.” He placed the newborn in her mother's waiting arms. “What are you going to name her?” the doctor asked. “She's so pink,” the mother remarked, staring lovingly down at her child. “We'll call her Pinkamena.” Author's Note I didn't expect to be able to do much with this prompt, since I don't generally write much about the princesses (Twilight being a bit of an exception), but I believe this turned out to be my favorite story in the Pinkie Pie section, and quite possibly my favorite among all of my 30-minute stories. [No Tag] because, really, what would you tag this as? There needs to be a [In Which Celestia Reincarnates Herself As Pinkie Pie, But No, Really, It's Played Straight And Is Totally Serious And Thoughtful] tag. There's such a call for that.
13: The Party Planner [Comedy] [Slice of Life]((Prompt: All along, the Mane Six were never really the heroes.)) Ponyville had every opportunity to be a fairly grim place. As a farming village, most of its denizens had to toil long hours in the fields every day. The steep surrounding mountains, while scenic, shortened the day considerably as they cast shadows over the town at sunrise and sunset. There were always wild storms wandering out of the Everfree forest from above, and wild monsters wandering out from below. If any town ever had a reason to be an unhappy place, it was Ponyville. However, Ponyville was far from unhappy. In fact, in the most recent survey, Ponyvillians were found to be the most positive, cheerful ponies in all of Equestria. Ponies would smile brightly and wave at one another as they trotted across the cobbled roads. Weather pegasi would have a little song on their tongues as they cleared the sky, and farmers would hum along as they tended their fields. A pony could not walk through Ponyville without catching a very infectious feeling of optimism. Ponyville was a very happy place, and the town owed it all to one creature. One creature who worked tirelessly to see that every new pony was given a warm welcome. One creature that tracked the birthdays and anniversaries and every important occasion for every resident in town. One creature that made certain that whenever a party was called for, there would be one ready. That one creature stood on top of Pinkie Pie's bed, blinking one eye slowly, then starting on the other. Gummy kept one of his reptilian eyes on the clock at her bedside while the other watched the pink pony snooze. The clock ticked over to eight o-clock, and he climbed up her shoulder. A green scaly tail flicked Pinkie's ear. “Mmuh... rock candy... hm?” Pinkie stirred, but she did not rise out of bed. Gummy frowned impatiently. Actually, he stared blankly, but he knew that he was both frowning and impatient. He snapped his toothless jaws on her ear and shook. Pinkie's eyes fluttered open. She yawned and stretched her hooves out. Her eyes focused on the little alligator clamped to her ear and giggled. “Good morning, Gummy!” Gummy let go of her ear and dropped to the bedside table. There was a stack of stickers bearing the cutie marks of everypony in town. He nosed through them and pulled out one with blue horseshoes, and stuck it to the calendar. Pinkie Pie, who had been busy working the kinks out of her legs as she got out of bed, glanced at the calendar. “Omigosh,” she gasped, “Today is Caramel's birthday! I'd better wish him a happy one!” Sleepiness disappeared entirely from the pink pony's face as she bounded out of the room. Gummy hopped down off of the table and waddled over to a pink-painted wooden desk. He climbed up a few levels and tugged open the middle drawer, revealing a thick-bound ledger. Gummy pulled the ledger out and opened it on top of the desk. Caramel was the Mayor's nephew, so Gummy probably would not have much trouble reserving some space at town hall for the party. He would be sure a note found its way to the Mayor's office this morning. He glanced at the budget for balloons and snacks, and he adopted a blank stare that served as a frown. Pinkie had once again gone over budget with the party supplies at the previous day's celebration of Bon Bon's fourth year in business as a Ponyville chocolatier. The pink one's enthusiasm was a boon, but sometimes Gummy wondered if he was going to need to get a different, less wasteful pony to be his front. Perhaps that DJ he had hired once? Gummy took a quill out and dipped it in ink. He would have to move some of his stocks in the candy industry. A temporary loss, but with luck it might come back to him as a benefit in the long run. He let the ink dry before nosing the ledger shut and returning it to the drawer. Gummy hopped back onto the bed and moved up to look out the window. The top story of Sugarcube Corner was the perfect vantage to watch Ponyville. His town. A blank stare of pride beamed from his face as he glanced down at the multicolored mass of ponies shaking hooves and laughing with each other. Across the bridge on the far side, a new pony he did not recognize entered the village. He would have to make certain to point Pinkie in the newcomer's direction. Speaking of, where was she? She had left before Gummy could give her any hints on where to find Caramel. If Caramel didn't get the invitation to his own birthday in time, Gummy was not sure what he would do. The door to the room opened again. “Almost forgot,” Pinkie chirped. She bounced over to the bed and scooped Gummy in her hooves. “I love you, Gummy!” she said as she squeezed him. Ah yes. Now he remembered why he kept her around. Gummy wore a blank stare of pure bliss.
15: Bath Time [Comedy]((Prompt: A page from the comics.)) Rarity took a deep breath, inhaling the relaxing aromas of steam and the various oils and scented soaps. She let go of her breath with a happy sigh. After what had felt like an eternity dealing with difficult customers and threads that snagged and tangled and fabric that bunched up in her sewing machine, she had been looking forward to a good warm bath all day. She tested the temperature of the water with a hoof and made another pleased noise to find that it was perfect. She adjusted her bathing cap on her mane and slid into the tub. Rarity closed her eyes and leaned back against the ceramic edge, a relaxed smile smoothing out her features. “Ohh, yes, this was precisely what I needed,” she muttered softly to herself. For a while she just sat like that, letting the hot water soak into her coat. After a few minutes that were an eternity of bliss and entirely too short at the same time, she opened her eyes and set about actually washing herself. A fluffy pink sponge floated in the tub with her. “Odd,” she said, reaching for it, “My sponge is white. Whose is this?” She lifted it out of the tub, to find pair of bright blue eyes and a wide grin attached to it. “Hi, Rarity!” greeted Pinkie Pie, bathwater running off her face in rivers as Rarity picked her up by her mane. “Gah!” Rarity reeled back, nearly falling out of the tub. “Pinkie? Where in Equestria did you come from?” Pinkie tilted her head. “Didn't I ever tell you that story? I came from a rock farm! See, when I was just a little twinkie-Pinkie, there was no smiling, or talking, only rocks...” “That's not what I meant,” sputtered Rarity. “I meant where... or how... oh, nevermind!” “Okay!” Waves lapped over the side of the tub as Pinkie nodded. “Hey, Rarity, what's wrong?” Rarity blinked in silence for a moment before shaking her head. “Hm? Does something seem to be amiss?” “You look perplexed,” Pinkie said. “Oh! Is it because you're in a bath, which is kinda like a spa, and you're used to Fluttershy being there with you when you're at the spa? I think Fluttershy's busy right now, but I can do my Fluttershy impression for you!” She dunked her head underwater and used her hooves to brush her mane into a Fluttershy-esque droop. She then spoke with an unnervingly accurate replication of the yellow pegasus' voice. “Oh my, hello Rarity. Are you more comfortable with your bath? Or, um, spa?” Pinkie's mane sprang back to its full curly volume as she broke character. “Spath? Whatever you wanna call it, I hope you're having a great time of it!” Rarity simply stared. She could no longer un-hear it—Pinkie and Fluttershy had the same voice. “Oh no,” Pinkie cried, “You don't look like you're feeling better at all! Tell me what's wrong, Rarity, so that auntie Pinkie can fix it for you!” Rarity paused, licking her lips. “Well, Pinkie, darling, if you don't mind, I suppose it might help if you could answer me one question.” Water splashed around as Pinkie bounced in the tub. “Ask it!” “All right, dear. Why, precisely, are you in my bathtub, Pinkie Pie?”
16: Her Favorite Color [Romance]((Prompt: Three Primary Colors.)) A streak of red shot across the sky. Pinkie loved red. There were other colors alongside, but the red stood out the most. That was what red did. Red gave its daredevil grin with those rose eyes, and tore off through the air at speeds that shook the trees and left Pinkie breathless. Red was exciting stunts and death-defying aerobatics and fearless dives. Red was confident. Red was dauntless. Red was terrifying, and Pinkie feared if she got too close it would burn her. But red was fascinating, and Pinkie could not take her eyes off of it. Red was Pinkie's favorite color. The streak vanished in the blinding yellow of the sun, forcing Pinkie to shield her eyes. Pinkie loved yellow. Some ponies didn't see the yellow in a rainbow, hidden as it was by the boldness of red. But yellow was there. Yellow was bright and playful. Yellow ran through town with her, playing fun pranks throughout town. Yellow was warm and friendly. Yellow was always there when Pinkie needed a friendly face. Yellow laughed at jokes, and made goofy grins. Yellow invited her in with a warm smile, and Pinkie could not refuse the invitation even if she wanted to. Yellow was Pinkie's favorite color. Pinkie was suddenly surrounded by blue feathers. Pinkie loved blue. Blue was always there, as constant as the sky. Pinkie could always count on blue. Blue ranged far and wide, as free as the endless expanse above, but Pinkie need only say the word and blue would come soaring in on nimble wings. Blue was unwavering. Blue was loyal. Blue never let her down. Pinkie could close her eyes and fall back, and blue would catch her. Blue held her close with strong, sure hooves, and Pinkie never wanted to leave blue's embrace. Blue was Pinkie's favorite color. Rainbow Dash nuzzled Pinkie behind the ears, still breathing hard from her flying practice. “Hey,” she said, grinning. “Whatcha thinkin' of, Pinkie?” A happy giggle played across Pinkie Pie's lips. “Just thinking about my favorite color,” she said. “Oh?” Rainbow squeezed her in closer. “What is your favorite color, anyway?” Pinkie turned and smiled. “You're my favorite color, Dashie.”
17: Mixed Signals [Comedy]((Prompt: One of the Cutie Mark Crusaders ships the other two.)) Sweetie Belle pushed the door open and trudged into Sugarcube Corner. Her head hung low as she dragged her hooves across the tile floor and climbed up onto a stool. She gave a small, exasperated sigh, burying her face in her hooves. “Code blue! Code blue!” A bubbly voice sounded from the other side of the counter. “Get this filly a double-fudge supreme, stat! And it better have as many sprinkles as you can fit on it!” Sweetie raised her eyes to see pink hooves slide an overflowing mountain of chocolate and sprinkles in front of her. Though her stomach rumbled, she did no more than poke at the treat. “Hey, Pinkie,” she said. Pinkie Pie peered over the heap of dessert. “Hey, Sweetie. What's got you so down?” “I just can't watch it anymore,” Sweetie Belle said. “Watch what?” Pinkie asked. “Them.” Sweetie pointed her hoof at the window. Outside in the street, Apple Bloom and Scootaloo stood shouting at each other. Applejack and Rainbow Dash were nearby, having their own shouting match as well. “Oh, no!” cried Pinkie. Sweetie Belle sighed. “I know. I keep trying to tell them to stop it and get along, but it's like they want to be mad at each other or something. They just keep looking for excuses to argue!” Pinkie Pie looked out the window and rubbed her chin with a hoof. “Hmm. I wonder...” Sweetie sat up. “What?” “I wonder if it's 'cause they like each other?” Sweetie shot the mare a skeptical look. “I think that's the opposite of the problem.” Pinkie shook her head. “I mean like-like. Sometimes your sister says that when ponies like each other a whole lot, they act like they don't like each other at all!” “Really?” Sweetie Belle blinked. That didn't make any sense at all, but if Rarity said it, it had to be true. She looked out the window at her friends. Apple Bloom and Applejack both kicked up dust and turned to head back to the farm. Rainbow Dash huffed and flew off, with Scootaloo following along the ground on her scooter. Sweetie took a spoonful of her sundae and chewed thoughtfully. “Hmm. Do you really think that's it? Pinkie Pie shrugged. “It might be.” “But why would they be yelling at each other instead of, you know, calling each other 'shmoopy-doopy' or something?” Sweetie took another bite. “You know, I don't think Rarity ever explained that part to me,” Pinkie said. “Maybe they don't know that they like each other?” Sweetie Belle gasped. “So, if we can get them to talk and figure out that they do like each other...” “...They'll stop acting all grumpy with each other and start getting all cuddly, instead!” Pinkie finished, clapping her hooves excitedly. Sweetie pushed her stool out. “We gotta go find them!” Pinkie slid Sweetie back to the counter, shaking her head. “First thing's first,” she said, pushing the sundae toward her. “Nopony but nopony triggers a Code Blue and then just walks out of here without a tummy full of chocolate!” * Sweetie Belle swore never to trigger another Code Blue again as she wobbled out of Sugarcube Corner. That sundae had been as big as she was! “Okay,” she said, turning to Pinkie. “I'm going to Sweet Apple Acres. You get the other one, and we'll meet back here. Then we can get them to admit they like each other, and everything will be all better again.” Pinkie Pie saluted and bounded off, quickly disappearing into town. * “I still don't get what's so important ya gotta drag me out here,” Apple Bloom said, casually adjusting her bow. “Applejack was teachin' me how ta 'pegasus-proof' the windows of the farmhouse.” “This has got to do with that,” Sweetie Belle said as they drew nearer to Sugarcube Corner. “Maybe you won't need to pegasus-proof anything!” They slowed to a stop in front of the building. Pinkie rounded the corner. Following in her wake was a yawning Rainbow Dash. “All right, Pinkie,” Dash said. “This better be worth an interrupted nap.” Sweetie Belle gaped. “Pinkie, I thought you were getting Scootaloo!” Pinkie Pie threw her hooves in the air. “I thought you were getting Applejack!” Author's Note Work kept me from getting this one submitted in time to TMP.
18: Putting Up a Fight [Romance]((Prompt: Learning to fight.)) Fluttershy kept her head down low, and kept nodding. Her chest ached with every word Pinkie said to her. Her wings twitched with every syllable. She bit her lip, because she was afraid she might scream if she let her mouth open. “...It just isn't working,” Pinkie said. Fluttershy could tell the words hurt Pinkie to say as much as they hurt her to hear them. Her ears sagged, and she kept pausing to sniff back tears between sentences. “You're really, really nice, and you know how much I love you...” Fluttershy winced. She had heard those three words from Pinkie so many times, and each time had always been unique, but this one was the first time it had ever hurt to hear them. “I—I know,” she agreed. Pinkie smiled weakly at her. “...But we're just really, really different ponies. I thought...” She paused, and took a deep, unsteady breath. “I thought that didn't matter. I thought it was as simple as 'I love you, you love me, we can be happy together.' But we're not happy.” Fluttershy could swear she saw Pinkie's mane deflate as she admitted this. A lump formed in Fluttershy's throat. She swallowed. Pinkie was right, they weren't happy. Fluttershy wasn't happy when Pinkie dragged her to social events she didn't want to go to. Pinkie wasn't happy when she saw how little fun her marefriend was having at the very things that Pinkie had intended to make her feel better. Neither of them were happy when it came time to discuss what was going wrong. Pinkie sighed miserably. “I'm sorry for pushing you into this, Fluttershy. I was just so excited to have a special somepony, and that that special somepony was you.” She wiped a tear from her eye and giggled softly. “I'm still super excited. Even if it's about to...” Pinkie couldn't finish her sentence. Fluttershy put a hoof on Pinkie's back. “It's...” She stopped, licking her lips. Okay? No, it wasn't okay. This was her and Pinkie breaking up. That wasn't in even the broadest definition of okay. “It's not your fault,” she said. Pinkie gave her a small smile. “I think we were better off as friends,” she said, leaning into Fluttershy's hoof. “Let's go back to that.” Fluttershy chewed on her lip. This was the part where she nodded her head in agreement. Pinkie was right, they had fun as friends. It hurt when they tried to be close. It would be so nice to go back to that comfortable distance again. She closed her eyes and pictured a time when she and Pinkie could just sit down to tea together, no pressure, no heartache. “No.” Fluttershy opened her eyes, and was mildly surprised to find the word had come from her own mouth. Pinkie raised her eyes. “Fluttershy?” “No,” Fluttershy repeated. “You're wrong.” Pinkie stared in stunned silence. “Yes, it's hard,” Fluttershy continued. “Yes, it hurts. But Pinkie, it's okay if we aren't happy all of the time. It doesn't mean we aren't working.” “B-but I don't want to keep making you unhappy,” Pinkie stammered. Yellow wings wrapped around her as Fluttershy pulled her into an embrace. “I'm sorry,” she whispered, squeezing her tightly. “But you're going to have to learn how. Because alongside all of those times you make me unhappy, there's all of the times you make me so much more than happy, Pinkie. And I'm not giving up on those without a fight.”
19: Pink and Diamond [Slice of Life]((Prompt: )) Roseluck sighed, propping her head on her hoof. The marketplace was full of ponies, but none of them seemed to stray near her stall. She had sold a single bouquet all day, to a pair of tourists from Saddle Arabia that didn't speak a word of Equestrian. Rose was pretty certain they had mistaken her for a beggar because she had to force them to take the flowers they had purchased. Not for the first time today, Roseluck checked her hooves to see if she had stepped in something foul-smelling or something. Still no. Even if she had, the scent of her flowers should have served to mask it. She just didn't understand. Her sisters never had this much trouble selling their wares. What was she doing wrong? Her train of thought was interrupted as a white unicorn approached her flower stall. “Welcome!” Rose greeted and put on a bright smile. Her smile slowly drained away, however, as the unicorn looked her stall up and down with an expression of mild distaste. The unicorn's carefully curled mane shook as she turned her head toward the crowd. “Pinkie, darling.” Nopony from the crowd seemed to respond. The unicorn rolled her eyes. “Agent Pink,” she said. A pink earth pony emerged from the throngs of ponies. Anypony who had spent more than a few days in Ponyville knew Pinkie Pie when they saw her. Roseluck swallowed. Not only was she not selling any flowers, but now she was going to regret not springing for coverage of 'acts of Pinkie' on her insurance. This was shaping up to be one hay of a day. “Yes, Agent Diamond, ma'am!” Pinkie gave a crisp salute. Agent Diamond nodded her head toward Roseluck's stand. “What do you see, Agent Pink?” “I see Roseluck! Hi, Roseluck!” Pinkie waved her hoof enthusiastically. Rose returned a cautious wave. Pinkie's friend cleared her throat. “Agent Pink,” she said and glared meaningfully at her. Agent Pink nodded and adopted a detached expression of appraisal, looking up and down at Rose's stall. “I see four... no, five counts of drabness, and three missed opportunities for fabulosity,” she said in a neutral tone. Diamond stood impassively, waiting. Pinkie took another quick look at the stand. “Oh! And an ill-advised paint-job!” Rose's mouth snapped open. “Hey!” It had taken her ten minutes of hard work to paint her stand in that brown she had found! “Very good, Agent Pink,” the unicorn said. “This needs some considerable fixing.” Her horn glowed blue, and the roof of Rose's stall shifted. “First, some light.” “And a bit of color!” Pinkie produced a bucket of light blue paint and a brush and proceeded to re-paint the stand. Rose protested in vain as Agent Diamond lifted her stock of flowers in a magic aura. “The arrangement here is simply disgraceful.” The flowers rearranged into artful bundles and spreads. Roseluck had to admit, it looked a lot better than the simple heap she had been keeping them in. “It needs balloons!” Pinkie tied a colorful bunch of balloons to the freshly painted eaves. Diamond's eyes narrowed. “Agent Pink, balloons don't fix everything.” Pinkie stuck her tongue out playfully. “Says you!” Roseluck cleared her throat. “Um, excuse me?” Two pairs of eyes swiveled to face Rose. Rose shifted uncomfortably. “Are you two from the trade commission or something?” The pair shared a quick look. “No, ma'am, we're decorators.” “I'm a baker!” Pinkie exclaimed. Agent Diamond took one more glance at Roseluck's stall. “Well, everything seems to be in order here. Come along, Agent Pink, I think I spotted a clashing color over by the celery stall.” They disappeared into the crowd. Roseluck sold out of her stock a few hours later. Author's Note Another prompt I didn't get submitted for in time.
20: Petrified [Adventure] [Semi-Dark]((Prompt: Pinkie Pie isn't laughing.)) Applejack stuck her tongue out in concentration as she kept her eyes focused on the apple on her nose. It wobbled, and she moved her head to keep it balanced. A bead of sweat formed on her brow, but she didn't dare flick it away with a hoof for fear it would tip the fruit. The train car hit a small bump, and the apple wavered. Applejack tried to keep it centered, but it was too late. Almost in slow motion, it fell off of her nose and bounced on the floor. “Ha!” said Rainbow Dash, still balancing an apple on her own nose. “I win!” Applejack rolled her eyes and picked her apple off of the floor. She brushed the dust off of it and took a bite. “Yeah, yeah,” she said, nudging Rainbow in the shoulder. “Ya better find some ice fer that swollen head, sugarcube.” Rainbow Dash smirked, and caught her apple with a wing. “Maybe I'll do that. Want me to get some for your wounded pride while I'm at it?” An airy laugh came from the other side of the car. Rarity covered her mouth with a hoof as she chatted with Fluttershy. “You found him wearing what, darling?” Fluttershy sipped from a travel-mug of tea. “It isn't that funny, Rarity. He can wear a tutu if he likes.” Rarity nodded her head. “Of course, dear. It's just... the image of you walking into his den to find this ten foot tall bear dancing to the tune of the Sugar Plum Fairy...” Fluttershy hid a small giggle behind her hoof. “Okay, maybe it is a little funny,” she admitted. “Wait, you're talking about Harry?” Rainbow hovered over to join them. Fluttershy nodded, smiling. “He's taking ballet lessons from Soft Shoe. He's actually getting very good; I'm so proud of him.” Dash laughed. “Oh, you gotta tell Twi about it when we get to Canterlot!” “I reckon she'd get a kick out of it,” Applejack said. “Don't ya think, Pinkie?” There was no answer. “...Pinkie?” Four pairs of eyes turned to the corner of the car where Pinkie Pie sat. She stared wide-eyed at the table in front of her. She went very still when she inhaled, and shuddered as she exhaled. Her mouth gaped open. Rarity stood up and stepped closer, concern etching into her face. “Darling, are you all right?” Pinkie looked up with a start, as though she had only just noticed there were other ponies in the car. The beginnings of tears formed in her eyes. “Girls,” she said, her voice cracking, “I think something really, really bad—” A harsh screech filled the air as the train's emergency breaks were pulled. Plates crashed and shattered and ponies tumbled over one another as the train jerked to a stop. The mares picked themselves off of the floor and looked around. They appeared to have stopped just outside the gates of Canterlot. Rainbow Dash poked her head out the window and peered up the tracks. “What the...” Before anypony could stop her, she jumped the rest of the way out of the window. The others shared worried looks and opened the door to follow her. Other than the fact that Rainbow was already by it, it wasn't immediately apparent what was blocking the tracks up ahead, so they moved closer. As the shape of the obstruction became clearer, Rarity gasped. Fluttershy soon joined her with a horrified squeak. Applejack's pace slowed to a stumble as her mouth hung open. It looked like one of the many statues that always decorated Canterlot. The only indication that it wasn't a statue was the fact that it was planted in the middle of the tracks, and the fact that no sculptor could ever have made such a close likeness. “...Twi?” Twilight Sparkle stood in front of the city gates, baring her horn in an aggressive crouch. Her wings were fully flared. From horn to hoof, she was completely frozen in stone. Princess Celestia stepped quietly around her, a faraway look in her eyes. She addressed the five of them as they slowly gathered. “I... I am sorry,” she said, hanging her head. She was bombarded with questions. “What happened?” “Where's Spike?” “What was Twilight doing?” She did not raise her head to respond to any of them, save for one. Applejack stood up straight. “What can we do?” Celestia's eyes swept across the five ponies. She took a long time before finally speaking. “I need you to find the Cockatrice King...”
21: Blinkie's Friend [Slice of Life]((Prompt: How to fight loneliness.)) It was getting to Blinkie again. It never used to bother her, how dim and gray it always was on the rock farm. The way the clouds would always roll and rumple, and never let much sun through. Father said rocks needed shade to grow. Too much sun would ruin a crop. That was why the farm was situated underneath the storage field the pegasi used to keep their spare clouds. Blinkie never used to mind having a gray, cloudy sky above her, but these days it was different. These days she would look up at that oppressive blanket where there should have been blue skies and sun, and she would feel just like a vein of limestone between two layers of heavy granite. Ready to just crack under the weight of it all. She pushed open the farmhouse door and stepped out. Mother and Father didn't stop her to ask where she was going; they knew she would return for supper. Father raised an eyebrow at her, nothing more. Mother and Father didn't talk as much these days. Not since Pinkie and Inkie had left. They had never been much for conversation before, but anymore, Blinkie was lucky to ever get a word out of them that wasn't about which field the rocks should be in. Blinkie knew where she was going. The same place she always did when she started feeling this way. The place Pinkie had shown her before she had left. Over the hill beyond the farm, to a squat little hunk of quartz that served as a seat overlooking a narrow mountain valley. Pinkie had told her to come here if she ever needed a friend. Blinkie found herself sitting on that piece of quartz a lot these days. “Are you there?” she asked. There was no response. Blinkie shook her head. She was supposed to speak up loudly, or her friend wouldn't hear her. “Hello?” she called, more loudly this time. “Hello,” her friend answered back. Her voice was distant, ringing from the other end of the valley. Blinkie raised her voice again. “I needed to talk again.” “Needed to talk again?” her friend repeated. Blinkie nodded. “I guess lately, I've come here often, huh?” “...Come here often?” Blinkie snorted, and then burst into laughter. Her friend always knew just how to bring her spirits back up, using a cheesy pickup line like that on her. Blinkie's friend soon joined in her laughter, and the valley was filled with giggles. She flicked a tear out of her eye. “Thanks. I needed that.” “Needed that,” her friend agreed. Blinkie rocked back and forth on her stony perch. “You know, you remind me of somepony.” “Remind me of somepony.” “My sister Pinkie always knew just what to say, just like you.” Blinkie smiled. “Just like you,” her friend shot back. Blinkie blushed modestly. “No, I'm not like her. I can't make ponies smile.” “Make ponies smile,” her friend insisted. “Okay,” Blinkie said, “I'll try.” “Try.” Blinkie stood up, using her tail to brush the dust off the back of her knees. “Well, I should go. I just want to thank you, because you're always there.” “Always there.” Blinkie turned and started back toward home, but she stopped and called out one last thing. “Oh, if you ever happen to run into Pinkie, make sure to tell her that I miss her and I love her.” * Pinkie Pie froze in her hiding place behind a hill at the end of the valley. Her eyes widened, and her hooves trembled. Her mouth went dry. Pinkie's heart raced, and she entertained the notion of simply staying silent. She stole a glance at the quartz sitting stone and saw her sister still standing there, waiting for a response. Pinkie licked her lips, and cupped her hoof to project her voice across the valley. “Love you.” Author's Note So apparently, Blinkie has a canon name now. I dunno, "Limestone's Friend" doesn't roll off the tongue quite as easy. *sigh* I guess canon marches on.
22: My Little Princess [Slice of Life]((Prompt: A princess and a mother.)) “Oh no, you don't!” Sugar Plum giggled as she crawled away. The little unicorn foal was surprisingly quick for her size, and covered quite a bit of distance. But she wasn't quite as quick as the pink hooves of her mother. Pinkie Pie scooped Sugar Plum off the floor. “You can try and run, but it's bath time for this little princess!” The little purple filly made a cooing noise, and her horn glowed. “Ah ah,” Pinkie said. “That trick won't work!” She took a deep breath and blew raspberries on Sugar Plum's tummy. Sugar Plum squealed, and the the magic in her horn dispersed. “I call that one the hammer! You can thank your auntie Pumpkin for that,” Pinkie said, rubbing her on the nose. Sugar Plum giggled and squirmed the whole way to the tub. Pinkie Pie kept her steadily in her hooves with a practiced ease. Warm water filled the little white tub. Pinkie tested the temperature. “Perfect,” she said, and slid Sugar Plum into the water. Sugar Plum babbled incoherently and splashed her hooves in the water. It did not take long for there to be more water on the floor than in the tub. Pinkie put her hooves on her hips. “Where is your mother?” she asked with a false sternness. She grabbed a sponge and a bar of soap and set to washing the filly. The bath lasted only a few minutes, partially because there was scarcely any water left to wash with. Pinkie lifted Sugar Plum out of the tub and used a towel to dry her off. Cleaning up the bathroom would have to come later, after the filly was put down for a nap. Pinkie set her daughter on her withers and took a bouncing gait as she carried her to the bedroom. “Choo-choo!” she called, “Thank you for riding the Mommy Express! Next stop, sleepy-land!” Sugar Plum giggled and shook her head. “No?” Pinkie asked, tilting her head. She took the filly off of her back and laid her face-up on the floor before the crib. “Well, would you rather go to... tickle-land??” Sugar Plum squeaked as Pinkie poked her in the sides with her hooves. “That's the only other place the Mommy Express goes this afternoon,” said Pinkie, nuzzling her daughter. “Sleepy-land, or tickle-land. Which is it gonna be? Huh?” Sugar Plum reached her hooves out at the crib. “Guh!” she cried. “That's what I thought,” Pinkie said, picking her up and dropping her into the crib. Sugar Plum nestled under the covers. She looked up at Pinkie with clear blue eyes that matched her own, and yawned. Pinkie Pie nuzzled her nose against Sugar Plum's, and flicked the light switch off. “Good night, my little princess.” As she was in the midst of drying the puddles in the bathroom, she spotted a familiar flash outside and heard the front door open. Pinkie Pie smiled and set her towel aside. She pushed the bathroom door open and made her way down the stairs. “And there's my big princess,” she said, giving Twilight a peck on the cheek. “How was saving the world?” Twilight wrapped a wing around Pinkie, kissing her on the forehead. “One tax form at a time, as always,” she said, giving her a tired smile. “How's our daughter?” “Down for a nap,” Pinkie said, grinning. “But you can help me clean up after bathtime!” Author's Note There is a subtle yet frankly appalling little reference to one of my stories in this. Bonus internet points if you can spot it!
23: The Days Are Just Packed [Slice of Life]((Prompt: Somepony is on a very tight schedule.)) 7:30 A.M: Get up. 8:00 A.M: Actually get up. Perform morning exercises—stretch all face muscles. Test new joke on twins. 9:00 A.M: Breakfast. Cherry cream danish. Remind self that Cake twins aren't old enough to really get Star Mares references. 9:30 A.M: Baking. Two dozen banana nut muffins, one dozen double chocolate, six specialty cinnamon rolls, a seventh specialty cinnamon roll to compensate for sampling, and one cake base. 11:00 A.M: One more specialty cinnamon roll. Can't be too careful about quality control. 12:00 P.M: Lunch break. Not hungry, too full of cinnamon rolls. Complain about tummy. 12:30 P.M: Watch store for Cakes while they go out to get more cinnamon from the market. Play peek-a-pony with twins between orders. 2:00 P.M: Pinkie Patrol. Let Cakes manage store, go out to enforce Ponyville frown-free zone. 2:15 P.M: Find colt in violation of frown-free zone. Fine of tickles and one big Pinkie hug to be rendered immediately. 3:00 P.M: Frolic. 4:00 P.M: Drop by library. Sing a song about books, made up on the spot. 4:01 P.M: Get kicked out of library. Head for Sweet Apple Acres. Help Applejack bake apple pie. 4:30 P.M: Informed Applejack was making apple salad, not pie. Proceed to make pie, anyway. 5:45 P.M: Dinner with Apple family. Apple pie salad. Very delicious. 6:00 P.M: More frolicking. 7:00 P.M: Return to Sugarcube Corner. Watch foals while Cakes clean up the bakery. 7:30 P.M: Dessert. Swear off specialty cinnamon rolls for life. 9:00 P.M: Help put twins down for bed. Spend some time in room fine-tuning party cannon. 10:00 P.M: Wash up, brush teeth, go to bed. Tomorrow's another big day. … 12:00 A.M: One more bite of specialty cinnamon roll. Author's Note Another prompt that I couldn't submit because of work. I believe this is the shortest one of these I've written.
24: Free Ice Cream [Not-Quite-So-Sad]((Prompt: A natural disaster strikes Ponyville, and there’s nothing anypony can do to stop it.)) The sun was extra hot, which made Pinkie Pie especially glad for the coldness that seeped through the load on her back, even if it was a bit heavy. That was the trick, really, was focusing on the positive. Sure, it was a hot summer day and she was carrying a lot, but she got to stay cool regardless. That brought a smile to her face as she carefully picked her way around a piece of fallen rubble in the street. The mayor and a few ponies—Applejack among them—were busy clearing out a collapsed section of the town hall. A cloud of dust rose into the air as they all banded together to pull out a heavy wooden beam. Pinkie grinned and trotted up to them. “You all look like you could use some ice cream!” She pulled a tub off of the mountain of similar tubs on her back and flipped the lid open. Applejack wiped some sweat from her brow and raised her eyes. “Gee, that's awful kind of ya, Pinkie, but that sure is a lot of the stuff!” Pinkie distributed spoons to the ponies gathering around her. Taking a quick count, she decided to open up a second tub for the group. “The earthquake broke the freezer at Sugarcube Corner, so unless all this ice cream gets eaten, it's gonna turn into soup!” “Aha.” Applejack ate a spoonful of chocolate swirl, and made an appreciative noise. She glanced around at all the toppled buildings. “Some way to get free ice cream. Are the Cakes okay? I ain't made it over to that end of town yet.” Pinkie Pie nodded. “Mr. and Mrs. Cake got the twins to safety as soon as the ground started rumbling. Everypony's a-okay!” “I'm glad to hear it.” Applejack stretched her rear legs. “Weren't much damage out at the farm, as far as I could tell. A bit of shakin' don't harm trees none. But Apple Bloom was over at Sweetie's when it hit, an' she got a few scrapes. Nothin' major, thank Celestia, but I reckon some ice cream'd help her forget all about her boo-boos.” “I bet you're right!” Pinkie said, shifting under the newly balanced load of ice cream. “Is she still at Sweetie's?” Applejack shook her head. “I think she went with Sweetie Belle to go check on Rarity. Give 'em all hugs for me.” She turned back to work on the rubble in the town hall. Pinkie trotted across town. She caught sight of Fluttershy coordinating a team of badgers to burrow under a collapsed home and look for ponies trapped inside. Pinkie made sure the badgers got a whole tub to themselves, and the filly they rescued got an overstuffed ice cream cone and a balloon Pinkie happened to have on her. Spike spoonfed Twilight's ice cream to her while she concentrated on using her magic to lift a house and set it back on its foundations, and Rainbow Dash got three or four tubs to distribute to the weather team as they helped around town. Pinkie's load was much lighter by the time she reached Carousel Boutique. Or rather, the heap of drywall, glass and timber where Carousel Boutique used to be. Rarity stood at the edge of the mess, her front hooves planted on her welcome mat. Her white coat was marred by dirty smudges and scrapes, and her mane was limp and tattered beyond recognition. Her face was blank, her eyes unfocused. If not for the subtle rise and fall of her chest, Pinkie might have thought she was a very well-detailed statue, rather than Rarity herself. Pinkie approached quietly, and put a hoof on her back. Rarity flinched at the contact, only relaxing after she turned to see her friend there. Her eyes drifted back to the rubble. “It's... gone,” she said. “All of it. Just, gone...” Pinkie wrapped a foreleg around Rarity and squeezed her tight. “...Would you like some ice cream?”
25: Loud [Comedy]((Prompt: The minotaurs are coming.)) “...So, the moment I walk into the room, they all go silent.” Rarity stood in the doorway of Sugarcube Corner, half of a croissant held aloft in her magic as she shared the latest gossip with Pinkie Pie. For her part, Pinkie Pie listened as best she could while still darting around the shop keeping the tables clean and everypony's water glasses full. “Are you sure you don't want to sit down, Rarity?” she asked, balancing a tray of danishes bound for the corner booth. “Thank you, darling, but I don't have the time,” Rarity replied, taking another small bite of her croissant. She had been standing at the doorway without the time to sit down for the past half hour. “Now where was I? Ah yes, I walked into the room, and they all went silent. Jet Set coughed into his hoof. So I looked right at him, and I said...” Ear-flop, eye-flutter, knee-twitch. Without warning, Pinkie pulled Rarity out of the way just as the door slammed open with enough force to make the hinges groan. In stepped a massive blue figure. He towered over the ponies inside the bakery, his horns nearly scraping the ceiling above him. Pinkie Pie did not want to subscribe to the old misinformed saying that all minotaurs looked alike, but really the only way she could think to describe this creature was like that Iron Will character Fluttershy had dealt with once, but with a few gray streaks in his mane and a squarish pair of glasses resting on his muzzle. The middle-aged businessman version of Iron Will raised his thick arm in an emphatic pose and jammed a thumb at his wide chest. “Hello!” he shouted in an intense tone of voice that did nothing to disprove the theory that he was Iron Will aged a few decades. “I am Will Power, and this is my lovely wife, Willow!” He gestured behind himself to another minotaur that could best be described as Iron Will with a pearl necklace and flower-shaped earrings. “Hello!” She waved and spoke in the exact same voice. Will Power pointed at the counter. “We are in town to see our son's assertiveness seminar, and have decided to grab some grub before we go! What is good here?” Pinkie rubbed her ear, trying to get the ringing to stop as she gave the minotaurs a bright smile. “Well, today we have some fresh blueberry scones that are really—” “WE ARE HERE TO ATTEND IRON WILL'S SEMINAR, AS WELL!” A few tables flipped to the ground as the Canterlot Royal Voice rang out from the other end of Sugarcube Corner. Princess Luna stood up, waving a muffin. “HIS CAN-DO ATTITUDE IS OF GREAT ASSISTANCE TO OUR INTEGRATION INTO MODERN CULTURE!” Rarity let out a squeal. “Princess Luna! How did I not know you were here until now??” “BECAUSE WE ARE NOT ASSERTIVE ENOUGH!” Luna stamped a hoof on the tile floor. “ALSO, BECAUSE WE HAVE BEEN WEARING THIS HAT IN ORDER TO REMAIN INCOGNITO!” She held up a wide-brimmed sun-hat and a pair of sunglasses. “Oh, Princess, that is such a darling ensemble!” Pinkie Pie glanced nervously up the stairs. “Uh, everypony? And everyminotaur? Maybe we should turn it down just a little. Mrs. Cake is upstairs with the twins, and—” “So, you have attended some of Iron Will's sessions before!” Will Power grinned broadly. “What do you think of his methods?” “HE IS MOST INSPIRING! I ADMIRE HIS SUBTLE WORD-PLAY! 'IF SOMEONE TRIES TO BLOCK SHOW THEM—” From the second floor, a door could be heard slamming. Down the stairs stormed Mrs. Cake, dark circles under her eyes and a ferocious scowl on her face. She glared dangerously at the noisy patrons, her voice coming in a low, angry growl. “The foals have been up all night, and I just got them to sleep! If any of you wake them up, so help me there will be Tartarus to pay! Is that understood?” Will Power slowly raised his hand. Mrs. Cake's eyes narrowed on him. “Yes?” He cleared his throat. “Can I have a blueberry scone, please?” Upstairs, a pair of small voices started crying. Mrs. Cake's eye twitched. Precisely how a middle-aged earth pony mare was able to drag two minotaurs, a princess, and a fashionista out of the door by their ears simultaneously was a question that would haunt scholars for decades. Before the front door of the bakery slammed on the noisome heap, a single blueberry scone was thrown, impaling itself on a sharp, curved horn.
26: Can't Quite Remember the Details [Sad]((Prompt: One of the Mane 6 writes or tells a story about another of the Mane 6.)) Well hey there! Thanks for dropping by; I haven't seen you in... well, I guess it's been a while! Gosh, you're sure getting tall. You must be eating your sprouts like a good filly! That's good, you don't wanna end up short and round like your ol' Auntie Pinkie! Hey, c'mere and sit down for a minute. I've got a story to tell you. It's about one of my bestest friends in the whole wide world! It goes like this. Once upon a time, there was a farm filly. She worked hard every day on her farm, and she had a great big family that helped her and supported her through everything. She was a super-dependable pony, always there to lend a hoof to her friends, always ready to give them some encouraging advice. Oh, and she had a hat, too. It was a really neat hat! Anyways, one day, when she was working on her farm, she looked up in the sky and saw a beautiful rainbow! Just looking at all those colors made her so happy, she just had to share it with somepony, so she gathered her family into the barn, where she had put together a party just for them, and... Wait, no. That's not how the story goes. Let me start over. She wasn't a farm filly, that's silly! He-he! She was a shy pegasus, that's right. She was a really nice pegasus, and all the animals liked her. She was usually pretty quiet, but that was okay, because she was brave and stood up for her friends when it really mattered. The shy pegasus was nervous around other ponies, though. She wasn't sure if they liked her or not, so she stayed out of their way most of the time. But one day, she thought that her friends didn't like her at all anymore, and it made her really sad! But it turned out that the whole time they were sneaking around and avoiding her, it was actually to put together a surprise birthday party for her, because she totally forgot it was her birthday! No... no, that's not how it goes, either. Give me a minute, I know this one. Okay. She was a pegasus, all right, but she wasn't shy at all! She was the most amazingest flier in all of Equestria, and she knew it! She was so confident, and awesome, and radical, and super-duper cool! She was going to join the Wonderbolts some day, just as soon as they realized how completely amazing she was. Then one day, her friend introduced her to a griffon, saying she was an old friend she used to have. But the griffon was kinda a jerk. So, being a super wonderful pegasus like she was, she put together a party to— Rrgh, that one was close, I know it! Just not quite right. Let's try this again. Once there was a unicorn. She was really pretty, and she dressed in fancy clothes all the time. All she ever wanted was to make ponies around her happy, so she gave them gifts like dresses and jewelry and party hats and cupcakes, and threw them birthday parties... No, no, no, no! Come on, Pinkie! You have to remember! One last try. I'll get it right this time, I promise! Unicorn. Super smart. Like, really, really smart. Studied under the Princess. Yes, that's right! She was the Princess's student, and she came to Ponyville, and we went on adventures together, and we saved the world. Like, at least three times! And then she cast a spell that mixed up all our cutie marks, and she grew wings, and became a Princess herself! And from then on everypony called her the Princess of Parties, and she bounced everywhere she went, laughing and baking cakes and everypony was happy... NO! No, hey wait, don't go away! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you! Come back, I'll... I'll stop, if you want. It's just... I know I've got it rattling around somewhere in my noggin, it just won't come out right. Sometimes it just gets me so frustrated... Oh, you—you're out of time? Okay, well, tell everypony I said hi. And come back soon, okay? It gets lonely here. Author's Note Alternate, happier ending: No, wait, I remember how it goes now! Once upon a time, there was a sweet little filly who went and visited her auntie even though everypony said she was crazy and they were probably right. But she visited anyway, and her auntie loves her very, very much! The end.
27: We Do [Romance]((I think I wanna marry you.)) Pinkie Pie had a problem. Her face was way too small. Some might look at her and argue that her face was a very normal size for an average pony, which was true. But when Pinkie Pie spoke of a 'smile as wide as a mile,' she was not using hyperbole in any sense. She had at least a mile's worth of smile in her at any given time, and only one normal-sized face to try and fit it onto. Her face was far too small. So she borrowed space on other ponies' faces. She would tell ponies jokes, and give them treats, and they would hold her smile for her, and sometimes that was almost enough to get it all out. Almost. But today, it wasn't even close. There weren't enough faces in all of Equestria to hold Pinkie's smile today. She quivered, her hooves vibrating on the floor beneath her as she tried, without much success, to contain herself for the sake of those standing close to her. “Beloved ponies.” Celestia's voice rang soft and clear through the vaulted gathering hall. All eyes had already been focused on the ponies at the front of the room with the Princess, but now that she had spoken up, silence passed over the crowd. You could hear a pin drop. Or rather, you could hear Pinkie's hooves clattering against the tiles as she fought to hold still. A gentle hoof touched Pinkie's shoulder. She glanced to the side to see Rarity giving her a warm smile. Pinkie returned with an excited grin as she let her hooves relax. Celestia beamed as she continued. “We are gathered here today to witness something truly remarkable. Unusual, yes, but then, unusual seems to follow these six around like their own shadows.” Pinkie let out a quiet snort, and she heard the others join in with hushed giggles. “Nevertheless,” Celestia said, shaking her head, “it is something truly wonderful we are here for today. The joining of six souls into one harmonious whole.” She spread her wings out as she said this, and Pinkie Pie could feel her cheeks aching as her smile threatened to push them clean off her face. Celestia turned to Twilight, who looked to be wrestling with nearly as big a smile as Pinkie was. “Twilight Sparkle,” the Sun Princess said. “Once my student, forever my friend. Twilight, do you take these mares before you, to bind them to yourself, and you to them? Do you swear to guide them, to teach them and learn from them, to always illuminate your path with the magic of their companionship, for all of your life?” Twilight nodded her head. “I do.” Pinkie could feel her smile grow wider. Celestia smiled and turned. “Applejack,” she said. The farm pony had a veil sewn onto the brim of her hat, through which she grinned broadly at the princess. “Noble Applejack, do you take these mares before you, to bind them to yourself, and you to them? Do you promise to be their constant, their unyielding rock to lean on in times of need? Do you swear to let your wisdom and strength of character shine on them, for all of your life?” “Nothin' would please me more, Princess.” Applejack tipped her head forward. Pinkie's smile grew wider still. “Rainbow Dash,” Celestia said, turning again. “Faithful, brave Rainbow, do you take these mares before you, to bind them to yourself, and you to them? Do you swear to be forever loyal to them, to protect them in body and mind and soul, for all of your life?” Rainbow Dash's grin made Pinkie's heart skip. “I do, Princess.” “Fluttershy.” The yellow pegasus looked up at the Princess steadily. There was no trace of fear or nervousness in her turquoise eyes. “Gentle Fluttershy, do you take these mares before you, to bind them to yourself, and you to them? Do you swear to care for them, to love them always and to be loved by them in turn? Do you promise to be a beacon of warmth and kindness for them, for all of your life?” “I do.” Pinkie could not imagine her smile growing any wider than it already was, but somehow it did. Celestia nodded and turned once more. “Rarity...” “I do!” Rarity covered her mouth with a hoof, her cheeks flushing bright red. She coughed into her hoof. “I—I'm sorry, please, go on.” Celestia covered up a soft giggle. “Rarity, do you take these mares before you, to bind them to yourself, and you to them? Do you swear to give freely of yourself to them, without hesitation nor condition? Do you promise to sacrifice yourself for their happiness, knowing that they will do the same for you, for all of your life?” “Yes, your highness, I do.” Pinkie Pie's smile hurt. It was too much to contain. “Pinkamena Pie,” Celestia said, at last facing her. “Sweet Pinkie, do you take these mares before you, to bind them to yourself, and you to them? Do you swear to always share you happiness with them, to give them your smiles and your laughter? Do you promise to lift their spirits in their darkest times, and keep them up in their times of triumph? Do you swear that your happiness and their happiness will be one in the same, for all of your life?” Pinkie Pie's smile was more than she could bear. She took it, like it was a physical thing that could be molded and manipulated. She mushed it up and re-formed it until instead of a smile, it was two tiny words. Two little words that meant the world to Pinkie, words that she had been waiting all day—no, much longer than that—to say. Two little words that were the only possible container to keep her smile in. “I do.” Author's Note Omniship! <3 But Celestia, does it ever give me whiplash to put this chapter right after the depressing one about Pinkie going senile and forgetting her friends. Snap my little neck like a twig, it does.
28: Throwing Pies [Sad]((Prompt: All things truly wicked start from an innocence.)) Pinkie felt the side of the dish, checking its temperature. It was just right, cool enough to be refreshing without freezing any of the flavor out of it. She tapped it with her hoof to check if she had gotten the consistency right. It was; the creamy filling gave enough to wobble slightly with the motion, but it would hold its shape when cut into slices. With a glance behind her, she stole a tiny dab of it to make certain it tasted all right. It tasted perfect. The cream and sugar were incredibly sweet, but they still would not mask the wonderful flavors of the bananas and the crust. Pinkie Pie grinned, proud of her work as she pulled her banana cream pie out of the refrigerator. “Thank you for giving me this chance, Mr. and Mrs Cake,” she said around her grip on the edge of the pie tin. “I promise you won't regret hiring me!” Her new employers, two of the nicest ponies Pinkie had met since arriving at Ponyville, smiled at her. “Of course, dearie,” Mrs. Cake said. “Now, let's have a taste, so we know what we'll have to teach you, okay?” Pinkie Pie nodded enthusiastically. One should never nod enthusiastically while carrying a pie tin in one's mouth. The banana cream pie sailed through the air, twisting around as it traced an arc across the kitchen. Pinkie would have been proud of the pie's capacity to hold together as it made its way along its trajectory, except for the fact that it landed on Mrs. Cake's face with an audible 'splat.' Pinkie's eyes widened. “Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry! Please, forgive me! I didn't mean to, it was an accident! Oh no!” Mr. and Mrs. Cake were silent. Mrs. Cake blinked, cream dripping from her face. She stuck her tongue out to gather a chunk of pie in her mouth, which she chewed thoughtfully for a minute. “Hmm,” she said, nodding. “Not bad. I think I'll have to show you a trick for making crispier crusts, but this is good work!” Mr. Cake broke out in a loud guffaw. His wife soon joined him, and, uncertainly, Pinkie found herself laughing along as well. From then on, Pinkie Pie was a fixture at Sugarcube Corner. * “Here's yer apples, Mr. an' Mrs. Cake!” Applejack pulled a heavy wooden barrel off the back of her cart and carried it in the rear entrance to the kitchen. “Applejack!” cheered Pinkie, bouncing around a counter laden with mixing bowls and bags of sugar. Applejack set the barrel in its place and looked up. “Well, howdy, Pinkie Pie! How's a baker's life treatin' ya?” Pinkie hid her front hooves behind her back and grinned broadly. “It's great! There's cupcakes, and scones, and pies and cakes, and guess what, I've got a treat for you!” “A treat? Fer me?” The farm filly pushed her hat back. “Shucks, Pinkie, that's awful nice of ya! What is it?” “A face full of pie!” Pinkie's hooves shot forward, driving an apple pie into Applejack's muzzle. Chunks of crust and gooey gobs of filling flew everywhere. Applejack stood in place, startled for a moment before a hearty chuckle built in her throat. “Heh, that sure is a tasty treat!” she said, licking a piece of apple off her nose. Pinkie giggled. “Is it?” “Ayep,” Applejack said, scraping a gob of pie off her cheek. “Here, try some!” She flung the goopy mess back at Pinkie, who squealed gleefully and led a raucous chase around the kitchen. It was the first of many pie-fights the two would have. * Pinkie Pie hid around the corner between two houses. A tasty cherry pie sat at the ready in her hooves. She heard hooves approach, and her grin grew wider. This was going to be great. Nopony ever expected to get a pie in the face while just walking around Ponyville. Pinkie was going to make somepony's day! She covered her mouth with a hoof, careful not to make any noise as she waited for whoever it was that was getting closer. She could just picture their grin now, cherry filling dripping off of grinning cheeks. Pinkie couldn't wait. Yellow hooves finally stepped around the corner. Pinkie tossed the pie forward. “Surprise!” she shouted Pinkie Pie stood grinning, waiting to hear the sound of somepony laughing or saying, 'Oh, you got me!' She heard no such noise. Instead, all she heard was a high-pitched, wavering squeal. Pinkie looked down at the pony she had pied. Fluttershy was on her haunches, tears mixing with the red filling on her face as she quivered. She was not laughing. Not even a little chuckle. “Fluttershy?” Pinkie said, her grin slipping a little. “What's wrong?” With a flurry of yellow feathers and cherry filling, Fluttershy turned and fled down the street, sobbing. Pinkie Pie never played a prank on her again.
29: Zonk! [Crossover] [Comedy]((Prompt: Pinkie and the Brain.)) A lanky white lab rat with a goofy expression on his face yawned as the last researcher flicked the lights off on his way out of the lab. “So, Brain,” the rat said, “What are we gonna do tonight?” His companion, a shorter rat with an oversized head and a constant scowl, picked the lock to their cage and pushed the door open. “The same thing we do every night, Pinky,” he said, stepping out onto the counter. “Try to take over the world.” Pinky clapped his paws together happily. “Oh, joy! ...Zonk! How are we going to take over Earth tonight?” Brain smirked and shook his head. “No, Pinky, tonight we reach for a much riper fruit than Earth.” He hopped across the lab and climbed up to a keyboard console for one of the lab's computers. He tapped a few things into the keys, and a bright green and blue planet appeared on the screen. “Behold, Pinky,” he said, waving his paw grandly at the screen. “Equestria. It's a land filled with powerful magic and untold secrets...” Brain licked his lips, turning toward the computer. “...And it is in the perfect position for a sudden takeover.” Pinky scratched his head. “I dunno, Brain, it looks awful small for all that. Look, I can cover it up with both my arms!” He stretched his arms across the computer screen. Brain smacked himself in the forehead. “That's because it's just an image on a screen, you nincompoop!” He typed a few more words into the keyboard, and the planet was replaced with pictures of two colorful ponies. “We will be using a device to swap minds with two of the planet's inhabitants. I will be taking the role of a powerful young member of the nobility, one 'Twilight Sparkle,' who has just assumed a position of incredible political standing.” He pointed to a purple alicorn wearing a shining crown. “With her social rank and my intellect, I will be crowned unquestioned ruler of Equestria within the week!” Stars sparkled in Pinky's eyes. “Zounds! We get to be pretty ponies??” “I realize it's not the most dignified means,” Brain said, clasping his hands, “but a path to power such as this cannot be ignored.” “Which one do I get to be? Which one do I get to be?” Brain pointed to a pink pony with a goofy smile on her face. “By fortunate coincidence, Twilight Sparkle has a friend whose usual personality should keep others from asking too many questions about your... quirks. Also, you share a name, so it should be a role even you can fill.” Pinky squeaked in delight. “She looks just like bubblegum! ...Narf!” “Indeed.” Brain hit a button, and tiny restraints sprang up from the floor of the lab, grabbing the two rats by the arms and legs. “Now hold still, Pinky. The restraints are necessary so that the ponies we swap places with don't do too much damage while they are in our bodies here.” Pinky nodded. Brain reached with his toe and pressed a large red button. A blinding light filled the room. * Brain groaned as he awoke. “Hmm,” he murmured, rubbing his head, “the transductor relay needs some more tuning.” He opened his eyes, and allowed himself a grin as he saw not the dirty linoleum of the lab but the brightly polished stone tiles of a palace. “It worked!” he cheered. “Zounds, Brain! You didn't tell me I'd get wings, too!” The voice was different, but there was no mistaking the inane chatter of his intellectually stunted partner. He turned toward the voice, and his heart sank. In front of him, Twilight Sparkle giggled with glee and did loops in the air. “I'm a pretty pony prin—cess!” Brain looked down, and saw that he had pink hooves, not golden-shod purple ones. “No! The array must have gotten mixed up!” Pinky/Twilight landed upside down on the tiles, smiling widely. “Oh wow, Brain! You're really, really pink!” “I noticed, Pinky.” He stared at the ground thoughtfully. “This can still work. I can take a position as your 'adviser.' All you need to do is exactly what I say, and Equestria will be ours!” “Hey, look what I can do!” The alicorn's horn glowed bright pink, and a grand piano materialized in the air over Brain/Pinkie Pie's head. “Pinky, no!” The piano fell with a tremendous crash. “Zonk! Oops! Let me get that off of you, Brain!” The horn flashed, and the piano disappeared... and reappeared ten feet above Brain's head again. Brain crawled with unsteady pink hooves from the wreckage. “Please stop that,” he said. A group of ponies entered the room. “Pinkie!” Both rats-turned-ponies turned their heads at the same time. “Yes?” An orange pony with a hat grabbed Brain/Pinkie Pie by the tail. “Come on, Pinkie, Twi's got important Princessin' things to do, an' we got a train to Ponyville ta catch!” Brain dragged his hooves on the tiles, but could find no purchase. “No! He—I mean, the princess needs my advice! You don't know what you're getting into, putting that lunatic in charge!” The orange pony chuckled. “No offense, Pinkie, but I don't reckon Twi needs yer advice on how to turn the palace into the world's largest cupcake right now. We can come back again later, but we can't be keepin' Twi from her job.” She waved at Pinky/Twilight. “Good seein' ya, Twilight!” Pinky/Twilight waved back. “Zonk!” A pair of pegasus guards escorted him the other direction. “You know what this place could use?” he said, walking with them. “A giant, enormous cupcake!” Author's Note My first ever crossover!
30: I've Got Everything [Romance]((Prompt: I've got nothing.)) Pinkie stood in the doorway of what had been, until today, her room. It was amazing how little it had changed between last night when it had been hers and today when it was not. The bed—no longer her bed, just 'the' bed—was still there, as were the pillows and all the blankets. The nightstand, the alarm clock, the closet and most all of the clothes within, all these things that had been a part of Pinkie's daily life were not really hers, just borrowed with the room. Her leaving made the room a little cleaner, and that was all. She pushed the door shut. Having so little to carry out of the room was a good thing, she decided. It meant there was less she needed to sell at a rummage sale. She trotted down the stairs, humming a quiet tune as she went. Mr. and Mrs. Cake stood at the base of the stairs waiting for her. They each had one of their foals riding on their backs. Mrs. Cake offered Pinkie a hug, which she did not hesitate to accept. Mr. Cake did not wait his turn, instead wrapping his hoof around the both of them and turning it into a family-wide group hug. “We're gonna miss you, Pinkie,” he said. Mrs. Cake did her best to disguise a sniffle as a sound of agreement. “If you ever need it, we'll always have room for you, dearie.” Pinkie smiled warmly as she squeezed the two ponies that had been more like a mother and father to her than a pair of employers. “Thanks, Mrs. Cake, but I won't need it.” She brought her nose up to nuzzle Pound and Pumpkin. “You two make sure to only get in the best kinds of trouble, okay?” The twins giggled and cupped her face with their hooves. Pinkie gave a happy sigh as she pulled away from the Cakes and stepped toward the door. “Goodbye! And thanks. Thank you for everything.” She didn't like seeing tears, so she turned around and forged on into Ponyville before any had a chance to form—on the Cakes' cheeks, or on her own. As she trotted across town, Pinkie Pie had nothing to her name but the song in her heart and the sunlight on her back. She had left Gummy in the capable hooves of Fluttershy. Her party cannon she had donated to the Cutie Mark Crusaders; she could see no possible harm in giving those fillies access to low-yield artillery. Her savings... well, there weren't any, to speak of. Every bit she had ever made was spent on balloons or confetti or some other party-related expense before it had a chance to stop spinning. Pinkie was as penniless as she was pink. This did not stop her from smiling brightly and humming her song as she bounded along the winding roads. In fact, she seemed to put just an extra bit of cheer into each of her enthusiastic greetings given to ponies she passed on the streets. Her voice bubbled with an extra little touch of giggliness, and her grin seemed even more infectious than usual. She was Equestria's happiest beggar as she made her way across town to the dirt path that led to Sweet Apple Acres. Applejack waited for her at gate of her fence. Usually, she would wait in the farmhouse—no, that was a lie, usually Pinkie would have to come find her while she worked on her chores. But today was special, and Applejack couldn't bear to wait any longer than she had to today, so she waited at the gate. As she spotted pink marching up the country road, she smiled as wide as, well, as wide as Pinkie did. She cantered forward to meet her halfway, and chuckled as she noted the absence of any saddlebags. “Ya sure do pack light, sugarcube!” Pinkie wrapped a hoof around Applejack's neck and pecked her on the cheek. “I've got everything I could possibly need right here,” she said. “If I brought anything else with me, I wouldn't have a place to put it!” Applejack laughed and gave her a fond nuzzle. “Well, lemme help ya carry all that inside. Welcome home, hon.” Author's Note Of course, I had to end this one with Apple Pie. I mean, how could I not? That does it for my thirty days of Pinkie. I had a blast writing for her, and she's definitely growing on me as a character. Stay tuned for Fluttershy, whose first two prompts will be posted once I get a cover image for her. Thanks for reading!
8: Cover Charge [Romance] [Comedy]((Prompt: Lyrics to the song “I'll Cover You,” from Rent.)) Applejack double-checked to make certain she hadn't forgotten anything. Her saddlebag contained a blanket and a spare set of hair-ties. She had already seen Apple Bloom off to Sweetie Belle's place for the night, with instructions to meet her at Sugarcube Corner for breakfast the next morning. Big Mac and Granny Smith were staying with their neighbors the Carrots, where Granny would no doubt relive all the old family rivalries with the matron of the household right up to both their bedtimes at eight thirty. Applejack hoped there would be no biting this time. She blew a strand of hair from her face. If she was forgetting anything, she wasn't remembering it just yet. She raised her hoof to knock on the door. Her hoof connected with nothing as the door of Sugarcube Corner swung open. Pinkie Pie's grin somehow filled the entire doorway. “Applejack!” she greeted. “Welcome to your 'The Farmhouse is Getting Fumigated So You're Homeless For a Night' party!” Applejack smiled and bowed her head. “I sure do appreciate ya puttin' me up for the night, sugarcube.” She stepped forward, expecting her friend to let her pass. Pinkie remained in place. “Ah-ah-ah,” she said, waving her hoof. “I can't let you in without paying the cover charge! I gotta keep these parties going somehow!” “Cover charge?” Applejack blinked in confusion. She nosed open her saddlebags. “Shoot, I'm sorry, Pinkie, I think I left my bitpurse on the dresser back at home. I don't s'pose I can pay you back tomorrow?” Pinkie giggled, shaking her head. “Bits aren't what keeps parties going, silly!” Applejack shifted from one hoof to the other. “Huh. Maybe I ain't entirely clear on what a cover charge is.” “A sum paid by attendees of a party or event to the host of that party or event to compensate for the costs incurred from preparing said party or event,” Pinkie recited. “But ya don't want bits,” Applejack said, a puzzled frown on her face. “Nope!” Applejack rubbed her chin. Her ears fell a little. “I... huh. I thought ya said you wanted me here. If ya don't, if it's too much trouble, that's okay. I mean, the Carrots still got room.” Pinkie's grin faded. “What? No! No, no, of course I want you here, AJ! I really, really want—” She stopped and fidgeted uncomfortably, licking her lips. A hint of frustration crept into Applejack's tone. “Well then, what is it ya want, hon? I'm a bit tired, an' I'd like to take these saddlebags off.” Pinkie glanced back and forth. “What is it that every party has?” “Sugar?” “Pizza parties don't have sugar,” Pinkie said. “What is there that a party isn't a party without?” Applejack lifted her hat to scratch her head. “Music? Do ya want me ta sing for ya, sugarcube?” “Well, I always want you to sing for me,” Pinkie giggled, “but that isn't it. Think, Applejack. What could I never, ever throw a party ever if I didn't have?” “Uhh, balloons?” she guessed. Pinkie threw up her hooves in defeat. She grabbed Applejack behind the neck and pulled her in close. Her lips met Applejack's with a wet smack. The farm pony's hat fell to the ground as her eyes went as wide as grapefruits. “Love, silly,” Pinkie purred into her ear, stroking a hoof through Applejack's golden mane. “I need love.” A moment passed while Applejack stared at her friend in shock. She brought a hoof up to feel her lips—in part, to make certain they were still there. She looked into the depths of Pinkie's bright blue eyes. Applejack's eyelids sank to half-mast. She wrapped her hooves around Pinkie, and paid her cover charge in full. Pinkie lay on the floor, something halfway between a gasp and a chuckle on her breath as Applejack picked her hat back up and stepped inside. It took her eyes a moment to adjust to the indoor lighting. When they did, she found Fluttershy sinking into the cushions of the couch. Her fully-spread wings kept her from disappearing entirely into the furniture like it appeared she was trying to. Instead of a face, she had one big, bright red blush. Applejack glanced back and forth between her two friends. She coughed into her hoof. “Did, uh... did she make you pay the cover charge, too?” The couch squeaked. Author's Note It seems I am developing an OT3. This isn't the first time I've toyed with Flutterjack Pie, and I have a feeling it won't be the last, either.
14: The Angst Hotline [Comedy]((Prompt: And now, a public service announcement.)) We join our friend Pinkie Pie on a typical, sunny Ponyville day. “Hi! How's it going?” See her carefree gait as she greets ponies about town. Listen to the song she hums as she bounds along. “La, la la la la, la-la la, la-la la...” She sure seems happy, doesn't she? “Gosh, I sure do seem happy!” Looking at her, you would never guess... “Ooh! Oh! Let me guess! Lemme guess! Am I secretly a robot? An alien! A robot alien?” ...You would never guess that beneath that cheery facade, Pinkie Pie was suffering from angst. “Wow, you're right, I never would have guessed that! Okay, what am I angsting about?” You see, Pinkie Pie has always been in love with her friend, Twilight Sparkle. “Well duh! I mean, who wouldn't be in love with her? She's super-cute, and really really smart, and she has a great singing voice, and...” But before Pinkie could confess her undying affection to her friend, Twilight got together with Applejack instead. “Whoo-hoo! Atta girl, Twilight! Oh gosh, this calls for a party! I'm gonna need all the purple and orange frosting I can get my hooves on!” Pinkie Pie is inconsolably broken up about it. “Are you kidding? This is like the bestest news I've heard all day! Not only am I in love with Twilight, but Applejack is, too? Can you say 'threesome?'” Absolutely inconsolable. “I wonder if Dashie wants in on this, too? It could be a whole pony-pile!” Also, a speeding cart ran over her hoof. “Owie!” See those tears? Inconsolable. “Maybe I can get Twilight or Applejack to kiss it better for me.” But don't worry. There's help. If you think you or somepony you know is suffering from angst, have them call the Angst Hotline. We're here to help get you through your most trying times. “Hello, Angst Hotline? Somepony ran over my hoof and it hurts. Also, apparently I'm supposed to be sad or something about wanting to smooch Twilight? I'm not really sure on that one... Oh, hang on, I've got a call on the other line!” “Hello, Angst Hotline, this is Pinkie speaking! How can I help you? Oh gosh, your poor hoof! This calls for a get-well party! We can invite Twilight and Applejack, and Rarity, and Fluttershy, and Dashie, and they can all kiss it better! It'll be great!”
Bonus #1: I'll Never Forget You [Comedy] [Romance]((Prompt: All good things must come to an end.)) Pinkie buried her nose into Fluttershy's soft curtain of mane. They only had so much time left to be together. Five minutes, less than that, less and less as each precious second ticked by. She squeezed the pegasus in her hooves as though she could hold onto those priceless moments if she only held her love tight enough. “I love you,” she whispered in Fluttershy's ear. “I'll never forget you, no matter what happens.” Pinkie felt a tremor run up Fluttershy's spine. She found herself enclosed in soft, warm wings. “I... I love you too, Pinkie. What...” “It's time,” said Twilight. Her voice rang with the gravity of a grave bell. No. No, that couldn't have been five minutes. Pinkie wrapped her hooves desperately around Fluttershy's back, shaking her head in protest. “P-Pinkie?” Fluttershy stammered. “Pinkie, Twilight says it's time.” “No.” said Pinkie stubbornly. “No, I don't wanna let you go. You can't make me!” “Pinkie, we agreed,” said Twilight. “Five minutes. You have to let go of Fluttershy.” Met with another stubborn shake of Pinkie's head, Twilight sighed. Pinkie Pie could be a strong pony when she was trying, but Twilight's magic was like a wall of steel. A wall of shimmering, purple steel that was slightly warm and sorta tickled on touch. Twilight was careful not to harm Pinkie as she peeled the mare's legs away from Fluttershy. “It's time,” she repeated, her voice a bit strained from the spell. She shot a glance in the other direction. “Hey, that goes for you too, Rainbow and Rarity. Come on, girls, we all agreed on five minutes.” Rarity and Rainbow Dash ceased their kissing with a disappointed sigh. Three pairs of mares stood up and switched partners. “Okay, five minutes for real this time, girls,” Twilight said, flipping over a glass timepiece and sitting down next to Rarity. Pinkie wrapped her hooves around Applejack and buried her muzzle into her straw-like bundle of blonde mane. “I love you, Applejack,” she said, squeezing the mare tight. “I'm never going to forget you, no matter what happens!” Applejack sighed. “Next time, I'm votin' for the pony-pile.” Author's Note This was one of two entries that I wrote for TMP's final prompt. The other one will be up tomorrow.
