Dear Twilight

by Goldy

Dear Twilight, by the time you read this...

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Shining Armor was sitting in his room, alone. It was a sunny day outside; though he had the curtains closed, the sunshine still made the room bright without an unnatural light source. Shining Armor seemed a bit sad, though he wasn’t explicitly showing it off. He was just there, writing a letter, alone.

Princess Celestia walked in.

“Greetings, Captain Shining Armor,” she calmly said, sitting down in a chair.

“Hello,” was his simple reply.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m just- uh, writing a letter to my sister. She was my best friend when we were young and she called me her ‘Big Brother Best Friend Forever’, which was really cute. I’m glad to be writing to her. It’s a bit crazy, I, uh, haven’t seen her in years. It’s weird, because, uh-”

There was a blast of yellow light and a very loud sound.

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Shining Armor felt pain beyond belief. He put his hoof up to his chest to find blood covering the previously white hoof. Celestia continued staring at Shining Armor with no emotion. He looked at her, giving the expression of “Why?” without saying a word; however, she did not react at all. Shining Armor felt his energy be lost by the second and fell onto the ground, losing his life. He then lie there with no motion, dead.

Celestia began breathing in and out harshly. She had the feeling of “What did I just do?!” without saying anything. She soon began to calm down, breathing normally.

There was a burst of purple light and a very loud sound.

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Celestia found blood on her hooves, along with extreme pain. She looked at the dead body of Shining Armor and found that he used the shot of magic as his last bit of energy, despite appearing dead. Celestia fell to the ground, dying similarly to her victim. The last bit of glow in Shining Armor’s horn soon fading, showing his death off to the world.

Luna burst into the room, saying loudly, “HEY GUYS I JUST THOUGHT OF THE FUNNIEST THING-”

There was a burst of yellow light and a very loud sound.

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Princess Celestia shot another burst of light at Luna, despite appearing dead already.

Luna felt blood on her hooves; she looked at them with an expression of pure shock. She fell onto the ground knees first and had her head hit last. She had an extremely weird face on her dead body. Princess Celestia then died again with a fading light from her horn.

Twilight Sparkle walked into the room. She was going to happily greet her brother; however, she saw three dead bodies of ponies she loved. She couldn’t believe it at all. She saw that Shining Armor was writing a letter, so she used her magic to lift it up into the air so she could read it.

Dear Twilight, By the time you read this

There was a burst of blue light and a very loud sound.

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Twilight saw that Luna had shot her.

There was a burst of yellow light and a very loud sound.

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Celestia had shot her this time. Twilight felt the pain inside her.

There was a burst of purple light and a very loud sound.

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Shining Armor shot her with a disgusted face.

There was a burst of blue light and a very loud sound.

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Luna shot her, lying on her side.

There was a burst of purple light and a very loud sound.

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There was a burst of yellow light and a very loud sound.

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Twilight was extremely confused and couldn't handle the pain much longer.

There was a burst of blue light and a very loud sound.

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There was a burst of light and a very loud sound.

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This shooter was unidentifiable.

There was a burst of yellow light and a very loud sound.

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There was a burst of purple light and a very loud sound.

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There was a burst of blue light and a very loud sound.

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Luna was upside down while shooting Twilight.

There was a burst of purple light and a very loud sound.

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There was a burst of blue light and a very loud sound.

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Luna was on her side again.

There was a burst of light and a very loud sound.

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Twilight couldn't handle the pain or confusion any longer. The purple unicorn fell onto the ground, losing her life completely.

There were sirens outside. Two royal guards, one for Celestia and one for Luna, broke into the room to search for any threats to them. Both of them were unicorns.

“We’ve got ourselves quite a bloodbath,” said Celestia’s guard.

“Hey sarge, listen to this,” said the other guard, lifting up the letter. He read aloud:

Dear Twilight, By the time you read this, I’ll be dead. This how I think it’s gonna happen: Celestia will shoot me, then I’ll shoot Celestia, then Luna will enter and get shot by Celestia, then you’ll come in and Luna, Celestia, and I will shoot you multiple times. Love, your brother Shining Armor.

He laughed at the letter. He continued:

P.S.: Then two cops will read this letter and shoot each other.

“Isn’t that the most ridiculous thing you-”

There was a burst of light and a very loud sound. And then there was another one.

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The other royal guard shot Luna’s guard. Then vice versa.

And then they repeated this.

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Both of them felt the blood on their hooves. Then were both surprised at all of this, and then they fell and died simultaneously.

The end.


Pinkie Pie smiled happily after completing her dramatic reading of her story to Twilight. The unicorn just sat there horrified. Her eye was cringing, her jaw was dropped, and her eyes were wide open, not blinking.

“Did you like it?” exclaimed the peppy pink pony.

“Did I LIKE it?” Twilight said with an annoyed tone in her voice. “DID I LIKEIT?! IS THAT WHAT YOU ARE ASKING ME RIGHT NOW?!”

“Well, yeah, that’s what I just said. Geez, I just want to know your opinion,” the other mare replied, rolling her eyes.

“You just told me one of the worst stories I have ever heard. The plot makes no sense, character died and were raised from the grave for no real reason, it was just stupid, and the ending was extremely abrupt!” the unicorn yelled.

“Hmm... the ending was abrupt...” thought Pinkie aloud. “Oh, I forgot to tell you the epilogue!” She flipped her page. “Okay, here it is:

There was a part to the letter that wasn’t actually read by the two royal guards:

‘P.S.S.: Everything that just happened isn’t real, but is instead just a fanfiction by a pony. After discussing it with her editor and proofreader, they will shoot each other.’”

“Okay, now that’s just-”

There was a burst of light and a very loud sound.

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Pinkie Pie shot Twilight with seemingly nothing.

There was a burst of light and a very loud sound.

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Twilight shot Pinkie Pie. The two then died.


After finishing his “masterpiece”, Goldy went back to proofread his story. He then saw a part to his ending that he didn’t write:

“P.S.S.S.: After proofreading his story, the stupid author will then shoot himself.”

“Wait, wha-”

There was a burst of light and a very loud sound.

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The author shot himself in the chest. He dropped the gun to feel his blood. He then looked at the gun and fell off the chair, dead.

No, seriously, this is the end. I’m dead, I can’t write any more.